#i always go into AB asks like 'ok im just gonna write a few things' and then </3 700 words later

[pizzee]

What are some of your favorite behind the scenes details, parallels, themes, or processes that went into creating sudden unexpected guitar solo that you want to talk about/point out?

Ok strap in because this is gonna be a longy cause I love talking ab my writing and I feel like I went a little off my rocker writing this one. I’m gonna work backward from how u asked because I feel like it’ll work better that way idk.

Processes: i always start a fic with one scene, then build the rest of the story around it. This fic though, was very very different. Id originally started writing a megalong, CYOA fic (yea I know crazy right) that I got like 20k words into then dropped. It was shit, and boring. But I didn’t want to waste the material. So I ditched the old idea and went back to my original concept: Jake character study. And from there, I built.

I had a tooooon of leftover scenes I wanted to use so I kept those and made a little outline. Just general story beats I wanted to hit on. Then I went looking for inspo, which came from the usual sources. Kendrick Lamar, particularly the song ‘Mirror’, second main inspo was from an unreleased Kanye song. I went back to these lines a lot for the vibe I wanted, which was kinda lightly melancholy, a little angry, a little hopeful.

Here’s a bit of the planning process

Then, then I started writing. Well, a little before that I picked out the bits of scraps I wanted to include and put them in some sort of order that made sense, choose a story structure that would make sense (this was the hardest part. I was originally going to do completely linear but it was not working, so I went with linear intercut with extensive flashbacks which I don’t think I’ve ever done but i like experimenting with structure anyway so it worked out alright), then I started writing. First scene I fully wrote out was the last one of chapter one, the scene with Layla. That’s actually the least changed scene too. Then from there, I wrote in order. Some scenes like Gena’s diner I wrote all the dialogue first then went back and added on. Others like the trip to Chicago was just all flow time baby. I edited some of the scrap scenes to fit the context of the story, did a few changes, then was pretty much on my way to finishing.

Oh and the title. That was actual the very first thing I wrote for this. I always write titles first cause I’m a madman, and I had this one sitting in my drafts for the longest time. I know it’s kind of the opposite vibe of the fic but I really like it and I think it kinda works. Chapter titles were also fun. I got the Jakob’s Ladder one while reading the Wikipedia page on the historial Jacob and found the themes fitting. The great Chicago fire one I remembered from a project I did in like 9th grade.

Themes: ok another way this story was super different: I actually wrote out the themes. Wooow I know I’m so organized. Main thing I wanted to hit on was that there would be no grand conclusion. No big confessions, no huge reveals, none of that. Even though the fic is long, I didn’t want it to feel big. In terms of scale of story but also how the themes are handled. Plus, it’s a Jake fic. So themes of personhood, self worth, belonging come with the cab driver.

That’s not to say there aren’t kind of major moments. I try to keep most of those in the past. The Passover flashback (and god damn were wendy’s lines hard to write), the whole military etc flashback. I think there’s only two moments of palpable anger in the present day sections: when Jake is half angry at Steven in Gena’s diner, and when he’s half angry at Marc in the headspace gym. I wanted to reserve the present for quieter parts. Some of that good healing in the present from past traumas thematic through lines, ya know?

Little domestic moments are my faves to write, mostly because Im allergic to actual intricate plots, also because I like contrasting the somber tone of the flashback scenes with the more gentle present. (Ah but I’ll save that for the parallels section, and speaking of…)

Parallels: most clear one is between the past and present. There’s a permeating sadness ab their childhood in a lot of fics I read I really wanted to capture, and I wanted it to be kind of… settling in? In the flashbacks versus easing up in the present. I really love making loops in stories, like linking the ending themes to the beginning, but this fic is more of a spiral outward. Things start in one place and circle around but don’t ever really end. Ok other parallels.

His name! The Jacob name story. That section was a segment of one of the Jake routes from that CYOA scrapped project that focused briefly on his name. I’ve lightly mentioned Jake’s Hebrew name in previous fics, or what I headcanon it to be, and when I was researching Hebrew names and their significance, I came upon the name Jacob. Then searched up the significance and thought that’s be a cool thing to weave throughout the story. Something something, the significance of names in defining our personhood and the power of having one and knowing someone’s name. And I like characters figuring out their names. Steven gives him Jakob (Steven with a v, Marc with a c, Jakob with a k), Marlene gives him Jake, he gives himself Lockley, then Jake gives Frenchie his full name, exchanges his name with Gena. And doesn’t give Elias anything. I liked that.

This is a bit of a smaller parallel, but the Jake Reveal and the final scene. I purposefully kept the Jake Reveal vague and short because again, no big reveals or anything was my rule, but I wanted the vibe to kind of parallel the vibe of the final scene. It’s Marc and Steven talking over Jake, picking him apart trying to understand him vs them talking around and with him, just naturally going with him. Them asking his name vs them saying it again and again. That was fun to write.

Oh and the parallel between the locket, the box, and the gloves. Keeping things safe, protected in a locket close to his chest vs a ground box in a city he hasn’t been to in decades that has all of their worst moments stored vs the chosen, physical barrier of the gloves. It’s just protection in different fonts.

Details: can we talk about the box? I wanna talk about the box let’s talk about the box. It actually came to me from this cigar box my mom gave me that I was trying to make into a jewelry box. I saw it and was like, “hm putting things of sentimental value in a box, compartmentalizing taken literally?” I think that one was one of the more obvious metaphors.

But my fave one was the locket. That was a thing I’ve had in my scraps forever and was actually inspired by the lock and key metaphor thing I’ve read in a lot of other fics for Jake’s last name. I loved the idea and had it spinning in my mind when I was writing but I didn’t want to use it like that because something something originality so I was like “Lockley… lock… locket.” and ran with that. And honestly? I really like it :) oh and the poem inside, I’d never read it before this fic but it fit the themes and vibes pretty good. Oh shit and

Boxer Marlene! So I really love the whole Marc is a boxer thing from the comics.I also really don’t like Marlene. Which yea not a hot take but I wanted to like her without like girlbossifying her. So I wrote her as a boxer because a) I needed a way to incorporate her into the story without fucking up the timeline and b) I think that’s cool as fuck. Thus, Marlene Arlaune became a woman from New York who’s attending the university of Chicago and really likes boxing. And she’s real fucking good at it too (which was inspired by comics Marlene learning some martial arts).

The happy endings line came from a tumblr post I think. I don’t remember which one exactly but I read it and immediately jotted it down because it was really fucking good. Anyway, I just wanted to write Layla again, because I adore her, so I wrote that little scene between them. Which is one of my faves.

Speaking of fave scenes, the Passover scene and Elias scene are up there. The Passover scene was pretty easy to write, minus Wendy an Jake’s exchange because I had to make sure my Spanish wasn’t completely grammatically incorrect. That section was inspired by the Lemire run, cause I really like the idea of them running away. And the Elias scene. I really really love it. Idk I feel like that’s the most Jake Jake I’ve ever written. It works ta me. Khonshu was also going to be a bigger part of the story and link up with the themes surrounding Elias and their parents but there was already so much going on shoving him in there would’ve been overstuffed.

Extra things:

- Sudden unexpected guitar solo was inspired by the Fooly Cooly ending song and the music battle in Doctor Strange in MoM. Really love those guitars.

- This was going to be part 2 of a three part series, all with obnoxiously long music related names and focusing on Steven, Jake, and Marc each. I was gonna call the series interior crocodile alligator. No I’m not kidding

- The gym I had in mind while writing that Jake vs Marc scene was the one from daredevil. I love my dumpster diving disaster diva daredevil

- The big tree in the headspace field was originally going to be a massive astrolabe, cause space. I changed it last minute.

- The dialogue between Marlene and Jake in their first flashback sequence was leftovers from a Jane/Valkyrie fic I started before going to see Th4r then dropped after watching it💀

- There’s a little section in the Chicago visit scene that I just ripped from an irondad fic i abandoned. the part ab trying ice cream for the first time

- Crawley was supposed to make an appearance. I might’ve forgotten ab that

- I had the last scene written for months. It was one of the first things I wrote. The last thing I wrote was the final flashback with Marlene. I added it last minute to tie things up a little neater.

- Repetition is my best friend, my soulmate, I couldn’t live without repetition

- LET STEVEN SAY FUCK!!! I think I got that from a fic where Marc was more hesitant to su duck than Steven. I really liked that

- My fave scene: the Elias talk and immediate aftermath in the backyard. It was originally going to be a grand confrontation where Jake gave a whole spiel and proudly proclaimed his name but… him asking for more sugar instead seemed more fitting

- Fave line: "Did you just say the f-word?" Sometimes, very rarely, I make myself exhale sharply through my nose in a mimicry of a laugh

- Fave moment: the “you’re not dodging” bit in the headspace. Kinda broke my own heart there ngl

- Yea there’s a reference to another one of my Jake fics, “quizás, quizás, quizás” in there.

- Yea there’s a Dane Whitman cameo

- Yea this was an extremely elaborate way for me to promote my Jake lockley has a sweet tooth agenda

[tweakerist]

BRGHAGRHA PLZ GUSH MORE ABT NYI

you're playing a dangerous game anon!! (asking an autistic person to gush about their special interest!! ill never shut up!!!) ok lets see what i can say about it without spoiling anything hmmm....

lets talk about the length and technical details first. if u saw the poll i posted before about what you guys think it's too long for a fic, and yes it was basically because i wasn't entirely sure about how long the story should go on for. yes, i always planned for nyi to be a slow burn given its theme, but i don't wanna lose your attention and it's my first time ever writing a fic and let alone something this big!! i talked ab it with a new friend that's reading it and i came to the decision that nyi will go up to 100-150k words, however this isn't really set in stone because i don't wanna limit my writing, it's just a rough estimate of what i think will happen, i hope that length is okay with you!

now, lets get to interesting bits! ive seen a few comments from readers on ao3 that are curious about some subplots mentioned in nyi, specifically what happened between wendy, stan and tolkien👀 and rest assured i will not leave you guys hanging! every little detail i mention in the story will tie together in the end, but this also means that you will see these things unfold from craig's perspective, so my question for you is, will you be interested in reading maybe a oneshot of the actual scene? maybe like, making nyi into like an universe and adding extra side works from other characters' points of view?

as of side pairings and extra long fics... im conflicted as to which direction to take. yes, i plan to write something from tweek's point of view, but it will be shorter given that otherwise it'd just be the same fic twice right? and i was gonna write stenny because i did fall down that rabbit hole somehow and found myself interested on exploring that dynamic, but i don't think its gonna happen because the results of the poll i posted were very divided, and i don't want you guys to stop reading nyi or lose interest because of a side pairing:/

i feel like i could talk about nyi for hours lol but i don't even know where to start. please feel free to ask whatever you want i'll be happy to reply!!

[cognitosclowns]

I love that alpha beta makes mechanical sounds? When he's running up the stairs away from Brett and Reagan we can hear his legs making that whining noise its so good. Not a request I just LOVE THOSE DETAILS

AAAA GOD I FEEL THE EXACT SAME. GRRKGKRKR YOU'VE ACTIVATED MY BRAIN IM SORRY <333

ALL SFW

LISTEN I <3333 AM A MESS FOR ROBOTS SO YOU'RE GETTING A BUNCH OF Extra Headcanons About AB's Robot Noises

LIKE /HE/ DOESN'T NOTICE THEM BUT YOU DEFINITELY DO??

it does take a while to figure out what each sound correlates to though. Like at first you just notice Oh His Eyes Make Noise Sometimes. Sometimes His Chest Makes A Weird Noise. It's only after a few months that you,,, actually notice Oh Shit Theres A Pattern Here-

HIS FANS ARE PROBABLY THE HARDEST TO NAIL???

Because like,, their purpose is to Cool His Insides, etc etc, but there's A LOT OF REASONS HE COULD BE OVERHEATING.

though there is definitely a difference to the noise when they start up bc of temperature?? Much more monotonous!!

If he's angry its this,, vv deep whirring sound?? Like this Heavy Droning Noise that goes between Very Subtle and Overbearing.

IF HE'S FLUSTERED ITS WAY SHARPER N HIGH-PITCHED?? Not painful to listen to, just noticably higher!!

Sometimes its hard to point out bc,, it'll click on for a few seconds, then off again!! (might jump up if he stumbled over his words, tripped over smth, etc. He's very prideful so little things like that make him FLUSTERED sdmnsd)

BUT IF HE'S PROPERLY RUFFLED???? <3333 he sounds like an AC unit I stg smndsmd.

HIS FANS GOING BATSHIT IS AS CLOSE AS HE CAN GET TO BLUSHING <333 DO WITH THAT WHAT YOU WILL

Whirring of eyes = staring very intensely, that's kinda obvious - he will sometimes get his eyes stuck bc Hes ~Dramatic~ and rolls them too hard smdnsmdnd.

WHEN HE'S WORRIED?? you'll hear smth akin to like the tic-tic-tic of a clock?? Whenever he's nervous he subconsciously starts doing diagnostics on his own systems!!

When he clenched his jaw theres,, an audible Whirring of Some Mechanism Being Strained. 99% of the time it's bc he's resisting the urge to smack smb.

GOD there's even just,, mundane stuff?? Like hearing the slight whirr of his fingers when he cups his cheek or plays with your hair?? <333

AT FIRST HE DOESN'T REALIZE WHY YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL WHATS ON HIS MIND?? Hes A Perfect Creation, Hes Completely Unreadable How The Fuck Are You Doing This. It would be frustrating if it wasn't

'Oh love </3 I just have a cold!! You don't need to be worried <3'

'how did you-?'

'Your fans are ticking <3 we've been dating for 3 years, you really think I can't tell when you're upset? <3'

AND,,, <333 GOD DOESN'T HIS MOTOR JUST START WHIRRING LIKE ITS ABOUT TO POP OUTTA HIS CHEST BC <333 >:( you're being loving and attentive and paying attention to the intricacies of how he works. Goddamit he's hopelessly endeared once again >:(( you bastard <3

ALSO MISC STUFF???

<33 pressing your head to his chest sounds like,, pressing your ear to your laptop/computer. Just that,, vvv quiet humming??

If he was at Full Functioning Capacity there'd be a lot less of those little details but he's currently been torn in half so YEA SMNDSM THE SOUNDS OF HIS MACHINERY WORKING ARE A LOT MORE NOTICABLE?? after he gets put back together it stops sounding like a Jet Engine Landing whenever he notices you smdnsSDMSNDM

Okay I can't tell if they put the Slightest Bit Of Autotune Over Every Line He Says, or if Chris Diamantopoulos' voice is just,, super gravelly but <333 YEA. no related thoughts here I'm just.. wowowow his voice. Gee golly <3

okay maybe a few thoughts <33

CAUSE,,, YKNOW, THE CLASSIC THING OF His Voice Glitches When He Shows Extreme Emotion (tm) IS ALWAYS FUN <333

like sometimes when he calls you My Love/My Darling Human/etc you'll hear his voice skip a few times bc <333 he's so in love <3

RRRR SOMETIMES WHEN HE LAUGHS IT SKIPS LIKE A VINYL RECORD. only when he's laughing really hard <333 so it's pretty rare to hear. It can be unnerving to some ppl bc,, it gets this Layered Effect but <333 you love it

gay gay homosexual gay <3 MSDNSMD THANK YOU FOR THIS IT WAS LOVELY

[calehenituseappreciation]

i hc wilbur made tommy president because he planned to go and press the button while tommy spoke and kill him along with himself

wilbur wanted end all his unfinished symphonies and as the person who raised tommy- he raised him like he raised l'manberg. he doesnt care for fundy- not since he denounced him- so he wanted to end him :)

i need a fic where tommy is the one who goes to stop wilbur and wilbur fucking stabs him before pressing the button saying "it was never meant to be" tommy loses both first and last lives to that phrase

tommys last words are it was always meant to be fucking wilbur survives the explosion and has no one to kill him and now he has to live with the consqunces tommy becomes toast- short for ghost tommy i refuse to write so many letters each time- and immeditly looks for his older brothers and he finds wilbur first :) wilbur is exiled for his crimes and also out of fear- they tried to rehabilate him! they really did but then he freaked out over seeing toast... in a bad way.... and he and toast burned georges house on toast suggest (maybe we should burn something! that always helps me calm down!) this is after wilbur is trusted enough to be not... in a prison... after phil convinced them he needs help and toast tries his best ok- (WHO LEFT WILBUR WITH TOAST!) (I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME! I WAS ONLY LEAVING FOR FIVE MINUTES! AND RANBOO WAS THERE TOO!) and toast tries to go with but everyone is like "yeah no" and toast is like "whhhhyyy i just wanna stay with wilby!" and everytime anyone tries to tell tommy about the wrongs that have happened to him he screams and clutches his head in pain and everytime he comes back he doesnt remember the convo toast,,, is the most BABY toast calls everyone cutesy nicknames unironcially he calls eret rere toast, chriping happily: TECHIE!!!! tubbo: TOMMY STAY AWAY FROM HIM! toast, in a very lost and confused voice: why? techno, freaking out: tommy? toast: hi!!!!!!! im toast!!!!!! :D techno: lowkey ab to cry toast: NOOOOOOOO DUN CRI! toast: there there techie... i know what will help! tubbo, sighing: arson? toast: ARSON! phil comes just in time to find tommys dead body and l'manberg gone hes not around for the withers neither hes there just to see the crater and wilbur in chains with blood on his hands trying to off himself phil will forever blame himself for not making it in time :> dream: taking wilbur away in boat toast, floating behind the boat: o^o dream do you have any games on your phone .///^///. looks at exileinnit hmmm spins roulette wheel who should i hurt... i picked d all of the above they dont let toast go with him but because he is baby and you can't tell him what to do tubbo: sighs finally now that the exiles done toast can you- tubbo: looks up tubbo: GOADDAMN IT

toast is promptly kidnapped back to l'manberg the next day toast keeps going back tho and no one understands why- he literally killed him! why does he keep wanting to go back! (toasts unfinished buisness keeping him tied was helping wilbur and l'manberg- he loved wilbur even at his worst)

toast vibes around everyone but he stays with wilbur- where ever wilbur goes is where he builds his home

its shitty but its an 'ome Toast, teary eyed: Dad? Why does everyone hate Wilby? Why can't I be with him... Phil, with no idea what to do: niki bakes cakes with niki whenever hes in l'manberg he keeps accidently setting her bakery on fire but hes sMOL AND GIGGLES A LOT AND HE HAS FLOUR ON HE GODDAMN SELF toast is a part of mexican l'manberg i dont make the rules mexican dream: AYYYYYYYYY HOMIE toast, giggling: 'OMIE!!!!!

Toast is wholesome while everyone is literally willing to murder Wilbur while also trying to stop him from khs toast is just a very happy lovely child and cries whenever anyone is mean to 'his big brother wilby!' and so they all constantly glare daggers over toasts shoulder wherenever he cant see em meanwhile Phil is just dying inside because Tommy is a ghost by Wilbur's hands and Wilbur keeps trying to commit suicide and oh god what is he supposed to do- he simply avoids this struggle by avoiding them toast, waddling up to philza: papa do you have any games on your phone? all im saying is that tommy called phil papa before changing to dad or fathercraft phil,in the tired parent voice: tommy please sit down- just for five minutes- at least for 5 minutes toast: sits down and then proceeds to struggle to continue to sit but he must because dad told him to toast is just ADHD incarnate wilbur, trying to end himself: im gonna escape my consequences toast: HI!!!!! :D wilbur: FUCK ITS MY CONSEQUENCES toast,,,, is so baby Wilbur is just not allowed to have anything remotely sharp i like how theres so much angst and im just hyper focusing on ba yby dream uses toast the same way he uses ghostbur! :D toast doesnt realize of course even after wilbur tells him dream is bad but he keeps forgetting!!! Everyone: da baby Dream: how can I profit from this oh dream is manipulating wilbur btw wilbur: suffering toast: i made you a card toast trusts eret wholeheartedly and this hurts eret because she knows if toast remembered he probably wouldnt- they wanted redemption but not like this- not because of death Toast: you look cool Toast: you are friend now Eret: sobs I don't deserve this Toast: what did I do wrong Toast: how can I help friend!!!!! Eret: sobbing more toast looks at everyone says "ah! friend shaped!" if ur wondering wheres the angst toast is the angst- toast is just tommy without any bad memories and hes so different they thought he was happy before they thought he was fine tommy was hurt too but since he internalized it no one cared toast sees wilbur being sad and goes! i know what will help! n-not arson tho people dont like arson when you do it.... BUT ITS OKAY! I BROUGHT A FRIEND! shows friend, the sheep and wilbur just fucking sobs Toast is wholesome chaotic in a perfect mix- toast is tommy but without the 'asshole on purpose as a self defense mechanism" someone mentioned something about Tommy masking insecurities once Toast doesn't remember. and he's fine with that he doesn't have any insecurities toast hurts because in retrospect toast, meeting bad: WOAAAAAAH! YOU LOOK SO FUCKING COOL! bad: LANGUAGE! toast, cringing back, looking at the ground: ..sorry :( bad: ...you can swear toast: :D bad: once toast hasnt sworn since "hes saving it for special occasions" sometimes he accidently swears and immedtly gasps and looks at bad and bad just sighs and is like "its okay it was an accident" bad never would have thought itd take letting tommy swear for him to stop huh... its almost like... hes a child.... and the negetive reienforcement.... was doing more harm then good.... toast: exists in an amount of happiness no one has ever seen him in before everyone: pain how much pain was tommy in before? they thought tommy was happy- was... was he not happy? he's so unabashedly joyful and energetic looking back they can see how forced every laugh felt, every smile- He's not afraid to just talk to people, make new friends he became so much more cautious after Eret, had it really effected him that badly? He's open. He never lies about how he's feeling, never brushes anything away how much was Tommy hiding, how much pain, how much fear- It's chilling. bone chilling. There's no way to fix what's been lost. No way to apologize to who Tommy used to be, to try and make it better. None of them every bothered to see him as anything more than a nuisance, an annoying child or cannon fodder and they'll regret it for the rest of their lives everyone: having a mental crisis toast: GUYYYYSS!! I MADE ANOTHER FRIEND!!!

"Wilby?" Wilbur heard Tommys voice say in an innocent tone.

Was he hearing things? Tommy's dead. He killed him himself.

"Wilby why are you in prison?" The image of his little brother asked, "Did you commit arson without me?" it asked in a pout.

"TOMMY!" Tubbo yelled running into the cell where Wilbur was kept, going through the bars with ease, "Tommy get away from him!"

"But 'ubbo!!!! Wilby is 'ere!!!!" Tommy (?) said with a smile Wilbur hadn't seen since Tommy was a child.

"Tommy, I understand you don't remember anything right now but you need to come back over here!" Tubbo demanded and Tommy flinched

Wilbur was struck with the sudden realization that this isn't just his mind- no no it can't be- but Tubbo acknowledged him he has to- Wilbur reached his locked hands towards Tommy only for him to pass through him. What? No no it was just his imagination that makes sense.

"Oh sorry Wil! I'm kinda dead! I don't remember how i died... but i think im a ghostie!" Tommy said plainly, floating off the floor. Wilbur looked at him in confusion. Whats happening?

the first time toast sees the crater toast srceams in intense amount of pain- its so loud you can hear it all over the smp- and just dissapears for a few days before reappearing with no memories of what happened toast saying things tommy thought but never said- he calls eret "big brother" and eret fucking d i e s toast cals all the l'manbergians older siblings He's far too honest for anyone to handle tommy was always honest too but he learned from experince that honesty only lead to hurt Tommy was like an enderchest, you could never see beyond the exterior, everything inside was exclusive to him and him alone Toast is like when someone dies and all their fuckin items explode onto the ground. you just see everything and most of it was  pain and everyone feels bad because they thought he was the only one uneffected that nothing had ever put a damper on his happiness and energetic smile- at what point had that smile became fake? also for angst reasons the last memory toast has is before the elections toast has uwu boy vibes but more chaotic toast goes to dream smp from logstedshire purely for sam nook toast starts making his hotel since he sees nobody has a home (including dream LMAO) (and he wants to make a safe place since everyone keeps saying something about war) and wants to make one and asks sam for help since apparently hes good at building and sam lets him pay after he finishs the hotel and sam nook is there since day one because i dont think i could handle a world without sam nook toast: biting everyone tubbo: wHY DO YOU DO THAT?????? toast: once techie bit all the cupcakes and then said it was his cuz he bit it so im biting everyone to show their mine!!!!! tubbo: i- tubbo: i am both flattered and disgusted everyone, remembering how tommy used to bite everyone upon meeting and then everyone would get mad at him and yell at him until he stopped biting people on meeting: sadly whips and nae naes hes a BABY toast deserves the fucking world also i havent talked ab it but there is wilbur and fundy angst here fundy confronts wilbur also not that fundy is angry about not not not getting murdered by his father but also why does he consider tommy his unfinished sympohny and not him? he raised fundy too- maybe he just only ever loved tommy (based off his insecurity of how close wilbur and tommy are based off wilbur raising tommy and wilbur only being there for fundy by the time he was older and also using hybrid age go nyoom for this dream manipulates toast during wilburs exile along with wilbur and toast realizes both of them were being used by him and fucking screams lourder than he ever has before and dissapears for a week and then shows up at technos house (he got lost and he didnt know why he was at logsted shire- he doesnt remember the place) on the day of the excution and tries to help technoblade but keeps forgetting that everyone is trying to kill techno the butcher army is hesitant when "hey why are you all attacking big brother Techy-" "HE SPAWNED WITHERS IN L'MANBERG!" "he did?" toast asked tilting his head in confusion "YES! HE DID! AFTER YOU DIED! NOW WHERE IS HE TOAST! WE NEED TO CAPTURE HIM!" whenever tubbo talks ab how theyre planning on excuting techno or how there was no trial toast has flashbacks to tubbos excution but hes never able to hold on to the memories just leaving him feeling bad toast sees anything traumatic and just makes the blue screen noise toast has to reboot every time anything truamatic happens and when he does he doesnt remember what happens after

toast hurts on a "THE FUCKING IMPLICATIONS OF THIS" level just.. everyone trying to make up for not noticing tommys hurt and trying to be good to toast when its already too late... far too late glatt is also here because whenever ytoast dissapears after something trauamtic he bounces back to the land of the dead for the bit and sometimes he drags glatt out to the land of the living with him only works bc toast has unfinished buisness so he can freely go between and just stays in the land of the lving until he can finish his unfiinshed buisness ghostbur and toast wouldve been good friends if they ever met anyone yells at toast and he immeditly starts sobbing

basically when everything is calm and peaceful and everyone is happy together after dream is in prison and toast is like "oh... this is what ive always wanted"

"toast?" tubbo asked, confused toast smiled softly, "i think its time for me to go" "what?" wilbur asked his pitch unusually high due to the fear lacing his voice "i think... i think this was my unfinished buisness... this is the last thing i wanted when i was alive, the reason i stayed... i think its finally my time to go now" toast said smiling tearfully "no! you vcan't go! we just got you back!"

basically when everything is finally ok, when things finally calm down toast fades back to the void/afterlife thing

[fandom-blackhole]

I'm back from my mandatory two day socialization recovery period required for all socialization even if I enjoy it. It's time for some Mermaid!Din au thoughts (No thots unfortunately but we'll live)

First off I love the isolation that the reader faces because of the lighthouse they live in. And I love how the townspeople being nice to the reader help give them a reason to stick around when weird things start happening.

I love how it took months before anything strange starts happening, like were Din and Grogu just not around or were they observing the reader. Did Din ever try to stop Grogu from damaging the lighthouse or did he let the little rascal do as he pleased.

· And gosh I love the idea of reader dressing in old worn clothing, a knit sweater with fraying sleeves, sweat pants covered in paint from repairs, an old windbreaker to help keep the cold out. It makes me heart all warm and fuzzy.

Edna, who i've head cannoned as this series Miss Chatham (H2O: just add water charter) is honestly life goals. Like live near ocean - check(ish), have rare knowledge that can be used to help new person - check, being just slightly spooky -amazing. And is that a little matchmaker I see her playing? I love it.

Then Grogu being injured :( I bet that Din is absolutely being eaten alive by guilt even though we all know it’s not his fault and he does literally anything he can to keep Grogu safe and happy.

And In love how Din is venerable enough to ask for help, like he recognizes that this is something out of his area of expertise so he goes to the person he knows is “safe” to get help. He’s humble enough to admit that he needs help and is not capable of doing everything for Grogu. And being able to admit that is an important life skill that not enough people have.

· But even after he ask the reader for help he is still hesitant which shows that even though hes trusting reader he will still kick (is it still a kick if its with a tail) the readers ass if he hurts him.

“But you can help him” Oh my heart the trust in that sentence. Like Din just heard, “so yeah I can help your son but I have to take him somewhere it will be hard for you to follow. And he needs to stay there for at least a week, and even if you manage to come its going to be so far from your natural element.” But he was still on board with the plan. And then he goes to climb on the rock so he can drag himself all the way to the light house because he can’t let his little boy go alone even if it means hurting himself to do it.

Reader was smart af for doing the old blanket slipperaroo trick

Reader immediately knowing something was up when she walked into town is so realistic. She literally is hiding a massive secret at her lighthouse of course anyone would be on edge walking back into society. Especially a society that already knows a little something about the secret. But them to amplify it. Miss Chatham to the rescue. She knows that reader is up to something and she uses her powers as an old lady with lungs and karen potential to scare off the problem for a little bit. The reader just placed so much trust on Edna by straight up telling her that she's housing Din and Grogu.

· Also that fool browsing the menstrual hygiene rack, like dumbass. Is this your way of making him miss every shot? Because we know that storm troopers are well known for their ability to miss every shot so making him automatically turn to tampons? Genius

Cashier for the win, like beep beep bitch now pay up

The "cyare" omg and then the reader warning Din about the cookies and him being so curious about them. The way Din is so perceptive of the readers mood that he is already able to tell that something is wrong. It was such a smart idea to have the reader lead with asking him to give her a small chance to calm down about what happened in the town.

Din and the reader low-key flirting and teasing each other at the end is so adorable. Grogu with the cookie absolutely melts my heart like of course that boy is hungry.

So this is a slightly polished layout of my stream of consciousness while reading this. Does it make sense? Probably not. But I love this idea and you have done it justice.

Ahhhhhhz thank you for all of the lovely thoughts and compliments, im glad you like my story and I hope it continuesto meet your expectations!!!! And you made perfect sense darling!

To reply to some things:

Honestly, I chose the isolation for two reasons, 1- it made sense, especially for how the plot is going to play out, privacy and isolation is needed, and 2- im introverted and I like being alone, so I just projected

The town's people are great! They are used to having lighthouse keepers just up and leave because of all the weird stuff, so the second that one sticks around they were all overjoyed, because like I said, a lot of the people work on boats fishing so the lighthouse is super important to them

Din did wait and observe the reader, wanting to know what to do when to attempt to scare them off. But also like no, he tried keeping Grogu away from the lighthouse as much as possible, not knowing what the reader might do to him, and just being a protective father, but we all know Grogu is a little shit and he snuck out before Din could stop him

Reader dresses in the COMFIEST clothes, and honestly, I am very much a sweater and comfy leggings kind of person, so again, something I am projecting

I love that you and everyone is loving Edna, she is definitely one of those cool old ladies that sneak you treats and shenanigans when no one is looking!

Also because idk if anyone has pointed it out.... in the last chapter I thought I was heavily hinting at it, but maybe it was more subtle than I thought, Edna and her MERMAID were alot more than friends *wink wink* she's gay as fuck and thats why she made the joke about not liking NUTS

Din loves Grogu, in and out of this AU, and it was 1000% not his fault that Grogu got hurt, in fact he was trying to protect him! Din definitely panicked and the first person that came to mind was the reader, and while he didn't know them, he knew for some reason they were safe to go to for help (as well as knowing the lighthouse would be a good place to hide while some things cooled down 👀), but Din will always be cautious because he is scared for his son

Din is just *chef's kiss* 👌, an amazing father who will do ANYTHING for his son, no matter what it takes

The whole blanket thing literally came from my childhood, thinking about how my sisters and I would drag eachother around on blankets, and I just thought it would be great for this scenario

Like the reader is gonna get real paranoid during this series, im not going to lie to you, things are gonna get rough, but Edna is the MVP she's one of those people that could pull your darkest secrets from you just by glancing at you, and the reader pretty much assumed she was safe to talk to after she had informed her about the food offerings

Ok ok, as for the dudes, I was too lazy to look up their names and stuff but they were these dudes from season 1 that gave Din Grogu's bounty: the first dude is the one 'hiding' in the women's hygiene section

Din is just obsessed for human food at this point, and he feels things for the reader even of he doesn't want to admit it quite yet

Din also may be oblivious as fuck, but he's also observant, hes a bounty hunter for fucks sake, he needs to be able to pick up on these things, so yes in my stories Din is really good at picking up on emotions, even if he doesn't fully know how to react to them

Im aiming for a slow burn foc, but to be honest with you all, chances are it is going to be a regularly paced romance, which for my writing is slow paced, so yeah the idiots are flirting and teasing eachother, but also like they will not be talking about or admitting feelings for at least a few more chapters

Grpgu deserves all the cookies!!! He's a growing tadpole, who has been magically healing himself while in a coma like state, so he hasnt eaten in days, and if he wanted he'd probably be able to devour 2x his body weight and then some, so a few cookies recieved in some kind of mysterious way are well achieved

Merman!Din Tags: @writeforfandoms @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @honey-goth  @mando-abs @lux-cream-67 @rachelle-on-the-run @katcharm   @ladamari68 @bluegalaxyprime @my-life-as-a-bird @altarsw @zarakem @stargazingthenightaway

(Added the taglist in case any of you guys wanted to read over my thoughts and things bc I have some hcs and cleared somethings up ypu may be wondering about)

[katsukisbimbo]

Bokuto Koutaro x Reader

✯pairing: Bokuto Koutaro x Reader

✯genre: strangers-to-lovers au!! with fluff, cRack aND!! smut!! slight angst too. uhh the several uses of the term “fat c0ck” because bokuto has a big dick

✯summary: meeting bokuto was a roller coaster you weren’t ready for, but you knew that if you had the chance you’d ride on it over and over again just to experience everything all over again

✯wordcount: 3.7k

✯note: hey guys i’m slowly pushing requests out so i hope you guys can bare with me!! this is for @gulfwanq​ who’s writing i absolutely love!! keep making great content love, muAh

you first met bokutou when you went to the local convenience store near your school

you really wanted some onigiri plus you didn’t have lunch

aNd onigiri miya was closed today

sigh

rUmbLe RuMbLe

gosh you were hungry

when you went to grab the last onigiri on the shelf you were surprised to see another person grab it before you

like huh

do i have to bite this stupid persons hand of-

you turn your head to look at the culprit and

your jaw DROPS

this man is gorgeous

and he looks like an owl

a really cute owl

owo

“if you could kindly take your hands off of my lunch i’d greatly appreciate it >.

and that’s the nicest way you could tell someone to fuck off really

but he just smiles and pulls the onigiri towards him and turns to walk away

oH NO YOU DONT BEEFY BOY

you jump on his back and try to choke him?? and steal the onigiri back??

and this dude is just laughing

what part of this is a JOKE to you HUH

this is LUNCH

LUNCH IS NOT A JOKE

you were not here to play games with cute boys

but you would make an exception if he played with your-

ANYWAYS!!!

the store owner sees the two of you fooling around and just kicks you both out

in the end neither of you ended up with the onigiri

“did you see what you did horn head? now i’m hungry”

and he just grabs your arm and pulls you into a different direction

“hEY- wHere are you tAking mE” you yelled exasperatedly at the random boy who was pulling you

“we’re going to get ramen”

oh ok

but like,, was he going to treat u or,,,

“i’m paying, come on”

wEll

who were you to turn down free food??

especially from a beefy looking dad-

aNYWAYS

“wait a minute,,, who aRe you?”

“hEY HEY HEY!!! dOnt you know me y/n??? i’m bokuto koUtaro!! i’m in the top 5 ranking of japan’s aces!!! i’m the best!!!”

his name,, did not ring a bell

nothing at all

“uhh,, ok,, how’d you know my name?”

ruh roh

bokuto started sweating profusely when you asked him that question

siri how do you tell your kouhai that you’ve noticed her ever since she was a first year but you were too pussy to actually talk to her or ask her out until you saw her trying to get the last onigiri at a convenience store so u say ‘hey why not steal her onigiri and make her fall in love with me’ so that’s exactly what u do

siri: here are the search results for “adult diapers”

sIRI THATS NOT WHAT I SAID

“ahh i’ve noticed you around before n i kinda thought you were cute”

take in bokuto didn’t even care that you didn’t acknowledge him before like he just cares that you’re talking to him now

n he was just avoiding your gaze but all u could think about was how cUTE!! he looked

wow

babie

and that was how you met bokuto koutaro

now he was almost leaving you

and through the months, bokuto had weaseled his way into life as your best friend, and in your heart, but as something more

it was easy to catch feelings for him

i mean,, who wouldn’t

you were currently in his bed, waiting for him while he showered

bokuto had graduated just today and you were gonna miss him so much :((

while you were thinking about bokuto, you didn’t realize that he had already exited the bathroom, sHIRTLESS

his grey sweatpants were hanging low on his hips, giving you a show of his v-line and delicious looking abs

wow

he turned to you and gave you a heartwarming smile

unfAir

he was too cute for his own good

“kouuuu come lay with me”

he dried his hair a little bit more before hanging the towel back into the washroom, then made his way to your spread out figure on his bed

he crawled on top of you and wrapped his arms around your waist while his head rested on your chest

your hands automatically made their way to bokuto’s head, massaging his salt n pepper locks just the way he liked it

he looked too pure right now

“kou?” “mm?” hummed bokuto

“i’m gonna miss you. so so much.” you forced out, feeling your tears starting to drip down your cheeks

bokuto immediately noticed the quiver in your voice and looked up, only to see his precious girl crying

“oh no bAby please don’t cry, please don’t cry i’m so sorry pretty girl come here” he cooed as he sat up and scooped you up into his arms, sticking you back in forth as you buried your face in his neck

but this only made you sob harder

“whyre you crying pretty girl? i’m not leaving tokyo, and i’m still gonna live here. you’re still gonna see me” he reasoned

he didn’t gEt it

he was going to go to a different school, meaning he wasn’t going to be with you all the time

and going to a new school means meeting other people

what if he meets someone and falls in love with them

and what if he just leaves you behind

you wouldn’t know how to deal with all that pain if that ever happened

you knew that bokuto was a busy man but you weren’t ready for him to leave you completely

like yeah you coUld come to his house to see him but you wouldn’t want to distract him from doing work or anything

you just weren’t read to let your kou go and that was okay

“i-i don’t want to be left behind” you sniffled

instead of comforting you even more, bokuto just tightened his hold on you and started laughing, letting you head the deep timbre of his voice

his laugh was so cute

“what do you mean pretty? im not going anywhere so how can i leave you?”

gOSH

did u rEALLY have to spell it out

bokuto looked at you expectantly as he lifted your chin to make you face him

you shifted your gaze to the suddenly interesting pillow at the foot of bokuto’s bed

“i’m scared that you’ll find someone better than me” bokuto’s eyebrows shot up in surprise and opened his mouth as he was about to interject-“i’m not the prettiest, or the smartest, or the coolest or the most athletic, but yet you chose me to be your best friend kou” you mumbled

all bokuto could do was watch as his love broke down in front of him, spewing all these lies about herself, degrading herself in front of him

honestly bokuto was pissed

who inserted all these negative thoughts into your pretty little head?

who made his special girl feel like she wasn’t enough for him, when it was him who didn’t deserve her?

she is kind, understanding, and loving. she is also vEry smart. which is why he couldn’t figure out why you thought you were less than what you were

he didn’t understand how you couldn’t see how wonderful you are

“i’m scared that you won’t return my feelings”

ah

there it was

bokuto pushed you by your shoulders, far enough to let you see his beautiful face, but not too far to the point where it seems like he’s doing it out of disgust

“oh y/n. my sweet girl, my special girl, you have absolutely nothing to worry about! y/n, i’m in love with you, i’ve been in love with you since you were a second-year. and i never doubted oNce that you were the one for me.” he stroked your cheek

“im so sorry if i didn’t reassure you, pretty. i just thought that you already knew these things. i’m kinda stupid, even for one of the top 5 aces in japan!!” he joked, causing you to let out a few giggles

you looked into his bright eyes, and cupped his soft, warm cheek, and slowly leaned towards his pink lips

“kOu!!! y/N!!! dinners ready!!”

goodamnit

you immediately placed your hands on his chest, planning to push him away and coax him to going down for dinner

until

he leans down and captures your lips with a heated kiss

your hands made their way into his still damp hair and tugged, making him groan into your mouth

your body involuntarily arched at his touch, letting you feel his bulge as he pressed into you

you started to rock your hips against his, wanting to feel the friction between your clothed groins

“k-kou— kou please‘ you whimpered into his mouth, not knowing what exactly you were begging him for

“shit babe i gotta stop or else i won’t be able to hold myself back,, and i want our first time to be special” he mumbled against your kiss bitten lips

gOsh

he was so cute :(( he wanted your guys’ first time to be special :((

mom :( i’m :( in :( love :(

“okay kou, lets go downstairs then” you suggested as you tried to push him off of you

“bUt pretty giRL—“ “no whining kou, lets go big boy, you must be hungry” you said as you finally got him off of you and sitting on the edge of his bed as you tried to pull his arm

“yeah i’m hungry just not for food tho” he mumbled lowly, not letting you catch it”

“what was that?” “nOTHING i’m starving haha let’s eat” “oh okay”

after the both of you made your way downstairs, bokuto i’d mom had immediately noticed your interlocked hands and started cheering

“I KNEW IT!! Y/N WAS GONNA BE OUR DAUGHTER-IN-LAW” she yelled in her husbands face as the both cheered while you and bokuto just stood there

“i’m so proud of you son, you finally grew a pair and asked her out after what? months and months of pining after her? ‘dAd how do i ask a pretty girl out?’ and ‘daD she’s so beautiFul i feel like i’m gonna pEe myseLf’”

“dAAD STOP EMBARRASSING ME”

any time spent with bokuto was never boring

after that day, bokuto had taken you on several dates, until he formally asked you out

and he was the best boyfriend you could ever ask for

he always had snacks ready

he always made sure to text you and call you to tell you whenever he was busy so that you wouldn’t worry

he always made you one of his top priorities which felt nice

and bokuto just gives you so much love

but one thing is that,,, bokuto is very jealous

he would get all mopey and dejected whenever a guy or girl would come up to you and ask you for your number, or if you wanted to hang out with them sometime

obviously you declined, informing them that you had a boyfriend

but the fact that people still wouldn’t leave you alone pissed him off to no end

he voiced his thoughts to kuroo, who just thought that he was being stupid

there was no way you are gonna leave him for anyone else

bokuto was stupid to not see how utterly and completely in love you were with him

all you had in your heart was bokuto and nobody else was needed

but there was this one incident, where someone had groped you in public, right in front of him

and he went ballistic

if it wasn’t for his friends and you who held him back, he would’ve certainly gotten arrested for assault

even though it would’ve been fair

sexual assault is a big no no

after that day, you made sure that whenever you sensed bokuto feeling down or jealous, you would insure him that he was the only one and will only be the only one

which usually got him feeling better in a span of 2 minutes

when bokuto had gotten into the MSBY Black Jackals, you were so proud of him

you were happy that he was able to do what he loved and made it into his career

he was really an excellent volleyball player

you would try your best to make it to all of his games and he honestly really appreciated it

he was so thankful for you for being as loving and supporting as you were to him, he honestly didn’t think that he deserved you

but let’s be honest

bokuto deserves the world

meeting some of his teammates for the first time was hEctic

they had all come over for a small get together at yours and bokuto’s condo

hinata wa stour favourite, just because he was cute and you saw how much he admired bokuto

and sakusa was very nice?? surprisingly you got along with him just fine?? which surprised everybody else

but miya atsumu

whew

this boy was something else

you lOved him!! honestly!!!

but he was just a little shit sometimes it made you want to rip out your large intestine and eat it

he would sometimes crash at your shared condo with bokuto, after a night of drinking with their team

and he’d let you clean up after him AND your boyfriend, as they were both drunk out of their minds

there was one night where you had to sleep in the guest bedroom because koutaro and atsumu had fallen asleep in your bed

while cuddling each other

wow

but all in all he was a great guy, and someone you loved as your brother

sometimes

phew

the first time you had sex with bokuto

you were afraid

bc of the fact that you were a virgin n it was your first time

but luckily it was kou’s first time too!!

which put you at ease a little

but you were still afraid that you might not be able to satisfy him?? like what if he says that it doesn’t feel good?? or if he says that you sucked at sucking dick??

that would be so sad

so you did what you had to do

you contacted all your female friends and asked them to teach you how to uh sex

which was a very awkward conversation between your friend group, since most of them were virgins too

they suggested to take it slow and not spring it on him all at once, especially since most days he’d be too tired from practice

so after practice, you made your move

bokuto had just gotten home and had gone straight into the shower after giving you a little peck while you were cooking in the kitchen

you decided that you were going to let him eat to gain some strength before you sucked him dry

after his shower, he excited the room with black sweatpants hanging low on his hips

kinda like deja vu

this was a scene that would never get old

you say him down and fed him, knowing that he liked being babied on some days

and you honestly didn’t mind, you liked taking care of your boyfriend

he was just too cute

after dinner, you washed the dishes and pushed him on your shared bed, face first

you sat on his bum and started lather his back with lavender oil, knowing that he loved the smell and how warm it made his back feel

you started to massage his back, slowly starting to press your thumbs into the knots in his back, making him groan at the feeling

it went like that for at least 45 minutes, you finished up after tending to each knot in his back, making you feel very accomplished

you flipped him over, only to see his blissed out face. his eyelids were drooping and he had a little dopey smile on his face

you put your hands on his chest and slowly made your way down until they reached the hem of his sweats, which you slowly pulled down

releasing his semi hard cock from its confinements

you felt yourself start to drool at the thought of gagging and slobbering all over his fat cock

he was barely conscious until you licked a fat strip from the base to the tip

which woke him up pretty well

“s-shit babe“

his large calloused hands tangled themselves into your hair and started slowly pushing your head back onto his awaiting dick

which you gladly took into your mouth

he stared with a slow place as you caressed his cock with your warm tongue as he pushed your head down, and suckled on his tip when he pulled back

you loved the feeling of his fat cock going down your tight throat

the feeling of your drool and his precum mixing made you clench your thighs, which didn’t go unnoticed by your boyfriend

“fuck, thats it pretty girl, take it down your throat. you’re such a good girl. baby’s gonna take my load right? you’re gonna be a good girl and swallow it all for me right?” he teased as he pulled you off of his dick

you coughed and nodded your head, moving your face near his crotch again, wanting to keep it in your mouth

he chuckled at the desperate look you had given him when he didn’t give you what you wanted

luckily, you had only been wearing your panties and one of bokuto’s oversized shirts

you loved wearing his clothing especially because you liked having yourself covered in his scent

he just smelled so nice

he pulled you up and pushed your hips to turn you around

which made your hips over over his awaiting mouth while your were faced with his dripping cock

you started to slowly give the head kitten licks, until those licks turned into long and hard sucks

he pushed your panties to the side and grabbed your hips, pushing your pussy into his waiting mouth

his tongue was relentless

alternating from roughly licking your clit to dipping his tongue in your slit, moving his tongue with vigour

his manhandling had made you work even harder, getting him closer to his euphoria

cuz you are the cause of bo’s euphoria🥺

yEah yEAh yEah yEah yEah yeAhhhh

anyways

once hit started to stroke your clit with his thumb

it was over.

you were done and creaming on his face while bokuto was releasing on your face as well

shiT

bokuto really do be hitting different

he gently pushed your body off of his and reached for a towel, gently wiping your face while whispering apologies

after he was done he gently kissed your lips and got on top of you once more, using both his hands to spread your legs to reveal your glistening slit

(psa sex isn’t really like this irl LOL i’m exaggerating it,, but if u find someone who cares enough about u then it might just be like how i describe it👁👄👁 my first time having sex was with a skinny weeb gamer boy who sold marijuana to the crazy people downtown so,,)

anyways

bokuto shoved two meaty fingers into your hole, spreading you out even more and scissoring you

making you arch your back off of the bed

shit bokuto felt like he was about to bust just looking at you

“i’m gonna make you feel so good pretty girl, you won’t even remember anything but my name.”

👁👄👁 ok den

one thing bokuto loved to do was go on late night drives with you??

it was surprising that bokuto had a license in the first place but after he had graduated you had forced him to get one, because obviously it was necessary smh

he had taken you to your guys’ favourite spot 

which was just on top of a hill that had a beautiful view of all the city lights 

his car always had extra pillows and blankets just in case you guys had a last minute trip to your spot

he immediately set up the pillows in the trunk and beckoned you to come over and sit next to him 

““i love being here with you kou, it’s like just yesterday i was still tackling you in the convenience market for the last onigiri” you reminisced 

he laughed and buried his nose into your hair, loving the smell of your fragrant shampoo

his large hands rubbed your sides, making you snuggle into his side even more than you were 

he was just so warm  and cuddly 

it was hard not to just bury yourself in him 

“i love you y/n. you know i’d give you the world if i could right?” ““i know kou, i love you too. you don’t need to give me the world because i have you, you are my world”

damn 

you never failed to fluster him, after years of being with each other 

you were so in love with this boy 

all you knew was bokuto 

he was your first everything, and hopefully your last 

he slipped out of your hold and stood up, admiring the view of the city as he walked a little, until he suddenly turned to face a confused you 

like y was he suddenly standing up 

until he wasn’t 

this was bokuto koutaro, the love of your life, down on one knee, as he held a white velvet box, which contained the prettiest diamond ring you could ever get 

you immediately felt tears starting to stream down your face, even though he hasn’t said anything yet 

“y/n,, i’m so in love with you. i don’t wanna be with anyone else but you. you give me happiness, love, faith, and courage. i want to be by your side until we grow old together. i have loved you since you tried to choke the shit outta me in that convenience store. you loved me at my worst, and my best, you are the cause of all good things in my life. you are the cause of my euphoria. no, you are my euphoria. pretty girl,, will you continue being my euphoria?”

you couldn’t help yourself as you jumped into his arms and started peppering kisses around his face while mumbling yes with each kiss 

he took your hand and gently slid the ring on your finger 

now he could show people that you were his, as he was yours

“i love you kou”

““i love you more, pretty girl” he mumbled as he kissed the top of your head 

“kou,,” “mm?” 

“i’m pregnant”

“wha”

[watermelonsugawara]

Can I pls request a softie w Oikawa 🥺 (bout to get sad I’m sorry lmao) but can it be where s/o is at her college campus and finds out her grandparents passed and she completely shuts down, doesn’t let anyone touch her unless it’s Oikawa. If you’re not comfy doing that it’s okay 💖 also we have the same favorite drink 😭😭🥰 and I love your writing you do it so well 💖 have a good day love 💕

first of all dont feel bad ab getting sad!!! 🥺 ((pls dont feel pressured to message me but)) if u ever need someone im always here or on discord if u wanna add me hehe im glad youve been enjoying my writing!! i hope i can help even w just a lil writing:) i also hope its ok that i filled in some blanks randomly!

...

❥ warnings: mentions of death

❥ character: oikawa x gn!reader

...

No one can ever really predict when you’d get this type of call

You were studying at the library with Oikawa when your mother called you

You thought it was gonna be like another call, but it ended up being about your grandparents passing away

oikawa watched your happy facial expression fade away and you could barely respond to her, frozen in your seat

He could hear her muffled concern at your lack of answers so he quickly grabbed the phone from you and spoke to your mother for you

“Hi Mrs. (L/N), I’m here with (Y/N) right now, I’m gonna take her back to our apartment so she can rest. I’m so sorry for your loss. We’ll visit at the end of the week. Talk to you soon”

Oikawa was quick to clean up your belongings as well as his own, and drove the two of you home

His heart was beating so fast, he was so worried about you because you weren’t talking, let alone crying

The two of you got back to the apartment and he helped you out of your clothes and into comfier pajamas

The only thing he could think of at the moment was to lie down

He didn’t want to pry, he just wanted to be here whenever you were ready

You both climbed into bed, Oikawa holding you close to his chest, rubbing your back

He could feel you start to cry, your chest heaving and your tears falling onto his shirt

Oikawa knows that you like to hide your face when you cry, so he just held you even closer and let you feel everything

You were hurting because you were so close to your grandparents, so it hurt even more to know you weren’t with them when they passed

“I’m here for you, my love. I don’t know the right words to say, but I’m always going to be here, ready to listen”

You knew you were safe with Oikawa, he was so willing to listen and support you, even if you didn’t talk right away

He knows how hard it is for you to express yourself at times like this

You got many calls and texts from family and friends, but you couldn’t bring yourself to answer them

Oikawa sent texts and calls on your behalf, letting them know that you just need some time

Oikawa checked which of your friends were in your classes, asking for notes or contacting professors

It was sweet to know that your friends wanted to see you to comfort you, it genuinely meant the world to you but you felt too vulnerable to see anyone else

Oikawa helped you get up to take a bath after a few hours of lying in bed

He was so gentle with every touch, washing your body and combing your hair

He made sure to prepare little meals for you to make sure you stayed healthy and hydrated

Oikawa knew that you just had to take it day by day, slowly opening up and talking about how you felt, and about your grandparents

You were so lucky to have someone who loves you unconditionally the way Oikawa does

...

hope you liked it ♡︎

[lordseochangbin]

Do you think you could write a rich kid!reader x pool cleaner hyunjin smut?? I just thought of the idea and my legs immediately felt like jelly dndkddkdk

not the only thing that’s wet- hhj

a/n: so this came out longer than expected sksk. also i wanted to add some humor(not even sure if it’s funny) but just know anything said abt the members is fictional lmfaoo. hope you enjoy !

——

“i swear to god.. i just need some fucking hot ass man to take my virginity! like how hard is it?? im rich, im sexy, im pretty?? now how hard is it to find a guy?!” you ranted out to your friends ruby and lea.

the two girls watched you pace around the room, “y/n, how about we make a list?!” lea suggested.

you turned around in excitement, “a list?! hmm throw out some names”

lea took out her phone, the three of you left to think about some of the finest men at your school.

“bang chan” lea threw out.

“oh my god no! he’s too much, i heard he fucked this girl till she cummed 7 times” ruby said

“7 TIMES?!” you and lea exclaimed. fuck, bang chan. you could only imagine dating him, but maybe not for a first time.

“ok... kim seungmin?” lea threw out.

“you mean small dick?” ruby retorted.

“how do you know that?” you asked ruby, actually curious. you received quite the obvious laugh in response, as if ruby was taken way back to when she was once in love with one of the cutest boys in the academy.

you pushed your custom made louie vuitton purse to the side, making room to sit down and contemplate about any other guy at your school.

“how about han jisung??” lea suggested once more.

ruby covered her mouth in shock, “oh no no no, that guy is too kind to just fuck around. plus i called dibs on him awhile ago”

you and lea kept eye contact, dropping your head in disappointment as another guy was crossed off the list.

“ruby.. who do you think would best suit for me?”

ruby looked up to the roof, her mind elsewhere as it always seemed to be. you loved ruby and lea, growing up with the two girls being honestly the biggest blessing you could ask for. but ruby was of a different character. one day she’d talk about the ingredients in a mcnugget and the next she’d be rambling about how pink is a sexy color for lingerie. lea and you seemed to be the closest however, she was always there for you no matter what and you loved her more than anything.

“i say.. lets go online and find some random stranger to set you up with. boom. we’ll pay him and just hope and pray that he’s some hot 18 y/o” ruby replied, putting her hands together to “pray” to the lord(seo changbin)

“ruby...” lea pushed her a little so she could snap out of her position, “that’s a terrible idea” the three of you bursted into laughter

when the laughing died down, you got up from your seat shrugging your shoulders as your walked out to your clear glass windows. “but guys, i really don’t know. should i just wait? i am ‘daddys rich little angel’ anyways” you replied sarcastically.

lea rolled her eyes, grabbing your ray banz glasses and throwing them on you. “cheer up okay? we’re gonna make this happen i swear”

ruby popped up on your right, grabbing your hand and petting it. “don’t worry, god gave us one life, and we should live it with faith. faith that we will live to see a wet pen-”

“RUBY-” lea interrupted.

“it’s alright guys” you patted both of their shoulders, “it’s not like some attractive guy is just gonna show up out of nowhere”

you smiled at the two girls who did an amazing job of cheering you up before opening the glass doors to the patio of your mansion home. taking a few steps outside, you noticed a white truck pull into the driveway. your dad waiting by the pool as a boy wearing simply a white tee, blue ripped jeans, and sport shoes came out.

“holy shit” lea cursed under her breath

all three of your jaws dropped as the boy walked towards your father, a hand brushing through his luscious black hair as the wind passed by him with perfect timing.

you lowered down your expensive glasses to get a better look of him, “now who may this fine fellow be”

ruby smirked, “i bet his weewee is the size of-”

“ruby, what is up with you and dicks today i swear to god” lea questioned, all attention that was once on the pretty boy now concerned for your friend

“im sorryyy” ruby sarcastically replied, “i just know a good one when i see one” she said, sending a wink your way.

“who is he?” lea asked as you watched your dad point at the pool

“how much you wanna bet he’s some rich guys son who’s complimenting his pool right now?” ruby asked

“none.. look at his hands. cleaning supplies” you replied.

“y/n!! that fine ass man... he’s your pool cleaner” lea called out to your attention.

————

your dad knocked on the door before welcoming himself in. “hey girls, im off to a meeting. do you need money for lunch?”

“no that’s alright, they were just leaving” you replied

“we were?” ruby replied. you turned around to give ruby the death stare before ruby could continue, “oh yes!! we are QUITE busy mr.y/l/n!”

“i see...” you father responded, “ well y/n if you’re home alone i just want to let you know that there’s a pool cleaner outside working. im off”

your dad closed the door before you could drop the blanket you covered yourself with. “that was close” lea responded from behind you as you threw on a robe to cover up your swimming suit.

“so close.. now should i try this out?”

“go for it, we’re upstairs if you need us” lea said, joining ruby on your bed and turning on the tv. you took a deep breath, mustering up the courage to talk to the boy and eventually finding yourself in front of him speechless.

“hey... were you planning on going in the pool?” he asked, puppy eyes almost shining under the summer sun as he looked at you apologetically, “im cleaning it right now but you can dip your feet at the least” he suggested.

you found yourself awestruck at how handsome he was.. his arms, his jet black hair, his perfect jawline, and the way his white tee stuck to his washboard abs.

“yeah.. sure” you managed to let out in a shaky voice.

the boy continued with his business despite your arrival, making your frustrated due to lack of discussion. minutes seemed to pass quickly and it made you impatient.

“so what do you find attractive in a girl?” you asked, turning to the boy

he rose his eyebrows at the sudden interrogation. “a girl.. hmm. maybe a girl who’s a tease? likes to flirt? sexy?” he laughed as he threw a towel over his shoulder

“hmm..” you hummed to yourself, kicking your feet in the water. “and what’s your name?”

“my name? i think i told your dad already, it’s hyunjin”

from there, your two friends were able to finish two films, curious about your whereabouts but scared to check outside knowing your intentions. but that wasn’t the real reason you two took so long, once the conversation started to speed up you’d learned that hyunjin was a college student trying to make extra cash to pay off his tuition by cleaning pools. he sat down as well, his jeans rolled up so his feet were kicking beside yours.

“so hyunjin... like you said. you like girls that are attractive, sexy, and flirty?” you asked

“why? you think you have all three of those? maybe you hit attractive and sexy at the least” he replied, earning a splash of water to his face.

“stop! your gonna get my hair wet” he replied, laughed at your sudden lash of anger

“im sure your hair isn’t the only thing that’s wet” you replied, placing a hand on his knee. the sudden affection made his plush lips part, a perfect situation for you to jump on his lap. and that’s exactly what you did

“y/n” he moaned as your lips clashed together with his. your legs found themselves wrapped around his, your position slowly making your robe tie loosen and revealing a pretty red swimsuit inside.

“do you find me attractive now?” you whispered into his ear as you tugged onto his hair, exposing the pretty surface of his neck to place kisses on

“so fucking sexy y/n.. please” he muttered as you left marks on his flawless skin

his hands wrapped themselves around your waist before you two could slip into the pool.

“shit- y/n im so sorry” he said as carried you to the seated area of the pool before combing his wet locks with his fingers

“its okay” you gasped in relief, catching your breath as you sat on his lap again.

hyunjin smirked as you slowly removed the robe, making him pull off his shirt to pull you closer

“now look at us babygirl, a pretty wet mess” he said, pushing a piece of stranded hair to the side before places kisses down your neck. he left marks from your jaw to your chest, throwing the swimsuit off as his fingers toyed with each nipple. your hands tugged at his wet jeans as he slowly pulled them off, leaving you both with nothing- just as you had planned.

you wrapped your hands around hyunjins neck, rolling your hips against his member as sinful moans left his lips. soon you felt his member stretch passed your wet folds making you dig your nails into his pure skin

“y/n... we just met today and you’re making me-”

you bit his bottom lip making him whimper. the friction was hard to handle even when you were underwater, the water made it easy for hyunjin to pull in and out of your pussy at rapid pace.

god, was this amazing. especially considering it was your first time and you needed it to be as easy as it could get. you blessed whatever deity up there for making such a handsome man like hyunjin and for making him a pool cleaner out of all things, sex in your pool was so much more hotter (ironically) than it seemed.

and at last, when you were ready to release you let you let go of hyunjins lips. “this feeling...” you whispered, “hyunjin i think im gonna cum” hyunjin grabbed your waists with a tight grip, making you bounce up and down on his member at an unbelievably fast pace.

“let’s cum together baby” he said, pushing you into a deep kiss

and before you knew it you were coming inside him, your first experience not ending just there as he reached his high slowly after

“hyunjin”you panted, grabbing your robe from behind him.

“thank you” you continued, placing a kiss on his forehead.

“you planned this all along huh? to prove you were sexy, i love it” hyunjin replied, grabbing your robe and throwing it somewhere far away.

your ass rested on his cock as he felt your legs wrap tighter around him “if you’re really thankful, then let’s just stay like this?” he asked

“deal” you said, resting your chin on his shoulder as you feel asleep in the lukewarm water.

[stardust-make-a-wish]

Do you have any fic recs for haikyuu and fruits basket? c:

ANON I GOT SO EXCITED WHEN I SAW THIS ASK I LOVE TALKING AB FICS BUT IM GONNA NEED U TO BE MORE SPECIFIC RE: HAIKYUU PLS there r so many pairings its hard to rec stuff unless i know what ur looking for.........i guess ill just rec a bunch of diff ones then !!! (disclaimer i am Bad at summaries- rambling ahead bc i cant control myself hxjsh)

i actually dont read too much fruba fic but these two r v good i love

must be love on the brain (that's got me feelin' this way)

💌　kyoru - 4.3k words | “Tohru has a secret admirer. Everyone reacts to it accordingly. Except Kyo.”

it has.......a rooftop scene......its got that good kyoru pining.....its so good ... (honestly this authors kyoru is just *chefs kiss* just go through their frba tag)

my heart on your sleeve

🧣　kyoru - 3.7k words | “In which stealing your boyfriend’s clothing is an art, and Tohru Honda has perfected it.”

,,,, post curse fluff.....established relationship kyoru ufhdhfgcg i die this is so cute and just....rlly good vibes

alrigjt OK so i have.........a lot of hq fic recs........ if u want like all of them here r my hq bookmarks u can sort through them theyre all gems but ill list like a few of my favs !! this is just going to b ship stuff bc i dont read too much gen <//3

• (mostly)canon compliant:

your wide eyes are the only light i know

🌱 bokuaka - 9.2k

kind of like...how their relationship develops over time., its a bunch of really soft moments i love it.. i cant do it justice in this description but its so so lovely...(this author writes the SOFTEST bokuakas i am in sha mble s... pls check out their fics)

From Tokyo and Osaka, With Love

🌻 bokuaka - 8.2k | akaashi and his birthdays from 17-21, or five years' worth of birthdays spent with bokuto

i,, adore ts bkak and this fic is SO HFJFJD i love it a lot ughhgdb its one of my fave timeskip fics !!def a comfort fic of mine <3 (this author also has a bunch of good stuff on their page !!)

you never have to wander, wonder

🍨 sunaosa - 23k | Between food sharing, intimate conversations, special smiles, and thousand-word pictures, this is how Suna tries to not deal with a crush.

honestly i am not even the biggest sunaosa stan but this fic is just so much fun !! i actually.. reread this one a lot FHDJ i have a few fics that i just tend to read when im sad & this is one of them ! its got summer vibes, v v good friendship dynamics + miya twin shenanigans,, even if ur neutral ab the pairing, this is just such an enjoyable read! (its also got fun socmed aspects.... internet famous miyas is always fun) (this authors fics also slap ahshdb honestly just check out the fics of anyone linked here)

all that you were

🍃 sakuatsu - 4.6k | Sakusa confesses to Atsumu with all the enthusiasm of someone reporting a traffic jam.

this!!! is the fic that got me into skts so itd b a disservice if i didnt rec it !! (yes...check out this author too.......their fics r always so good)

liminal spaces

🚪 sakuatsu - 26k | Fuck you, Atsumu thinks, pointing at the pixelated Sakusa in the team photo on his bedside table. It’s easier than you’d think to ignore loving your teammate.

this fic made me feel things and also its just v vibey. i dont rmbr too much but its like....rlly good hdhd

• aus/canon divergent:

the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle

🌿 iwaoi - 66.3k

alright if u like iwaoi & read fics for hq u have probably read this already but it doesnt hurt to throw it in bc this fic is an experience man its SO good. it hurts so much and so good and idk its just kind of iconic

famous angels (never come through england)

📸 sakuatsu - 10.4k | actor au!! its got fun socmed bits via like movie review articles & insta posts n the like its v fun !!! the character relationships r rlly good even aside from the main pair! this one ive been meaning to reread for a while now tbh

as blood returns and returns to the heart

⚔️ kuroken - 8.5k | royalty au by same author as above!! this fic,,, has almost all the things i love in a royalty au and it executes them all so so well... u have... king and loyal protector...pining....rlly fitting vibes,, ugh this fic is so great (check out this author too their fics r v good)

but not for spring to well up

🕰 sunaosa - 40.8k | After ending a relationship with a fiancé, Suna returns home and tries to heal from heartbreak. Here, he finds friends in the form of the Miya brothers, and learns patience, forgiveness, and what happiness means to him.

magical realism/antique shop au thats honestly just so thoroughly written it could b a story independent of these characters,, the miya twins r rlly good & the whole setting is such a vibe,, its def on the longer side but i enjoyed every bit of it!! all the magical lore was super cool n its just. so good man...

a certain slant of light

⛅️ bokuaka - 18.4k | akaashi is an author in need of help. bokuto is a witch who sells him a little light.

i actually just read this fic yesterday but i was rly going through it so i thought id include it fjfhg,, its a magic au still in a modern setting, (lowkey ghibli vibes honestly) and the slow build of akaashi dealing w his problems and growing more fond of these ppl he meets... its so lovely....u become so attached to the setting and characters and their relationships u rlly end up feeling right along w him........it has a happy end though dont worry i would never rec a fic that doesnt end happy mostly bc i myself cant handle it LOL. also the words r very pretty. thats def not the right way to describe it but im here to talk ab how it made me feel not talk abt word choice :’)

ok this was so so long im so sorry omg but i had a lot of fun putting this together & i absolutely have more where this came from if anyone wants FJDJHDJ

[bakedcookies-a]

𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟: 𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐚 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐞'𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐛𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬. 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭 ?

@crownedguilt / send me things to write metas on

ok buckle the fuck up gang this ones gonna be Long

first of all: charlie Did Not Expect that he’d be the next captain. is he good at the game? yes. is he the nicest jock on the team?? almost definitely. but captain? he never would’ve imagined himself as captain. the teams his family, he cares about them all very much, but he always kind of assumed they’d find someone better for the job (his money was on luke or diego). the win itself?? is a giant shock to him and when he’s asked to say a few words??? he kinda stumbles over his words a bit but essentially rehashes zachs speech from when he became captain, said that the team are all his family and that he loves them and that he Knows they can all be good people, says that he's gonna try to lead by example and says that he’ll do anything for the team.

when it comes to actually being a leader though? no one takes him all that seriously. he tries, he does, but as we see in the scene in 4x03 where jess talks to the team he’s a little too softspoken and everyone tends to talk over him a bunch and sometimes doesn’t listen to him BUT the team has his back anyway. like ok im goin all in on that scene but he immediately stands up to luke and tells him to show some respect and the guys in the back all stop laughing when he does but as soon as luke talks back to him the guys are laughing again and charlie’s clearly kinda deflated in that moment and he’s talked over and ignored when he tries to quiet them down and it’s not until diego makes some noise to shut them up that people do listen and. there’s a whole other meta on how charlie is trying to support jess in that scene but. i feel like it’s a v big display of the dynamic?? like they listen to him and all but they also know it’s easy to talk over him without consequences? and while he’s the one with the ideas and he has the influence i think his actual power as a leader comes mostly from diego amplifying his voice? like i think they all Know what he’s saying is right and they all see him as a leader but... don’t really respect him as much? especially the seniors i think aren’t big on having a junior as the leader so they listen to diego more so a lot of charlie’s work goes through diego?? and now i have an entire new emotional rant to go on about charlie and diegos friendship but i’m not gonna do that right now that’s not for this post

in terms of how charlie actually feels about it?? he’s not entirely sure he actually deserves it? definitely thinks diego’s a better leader than him even if he’s not quite as nice as he is. wholeheartedly wants to be like zach in terms of leadership and wants to be this awesome good captain that continues the legacy that zach started to build and just generally looks up to zach’s way of leadership a lot but.. as confident as he can be he lacks the ability to not crack with peer pressure i think? like he’s still v much a kid and when it’s a whole group against him he struggles to find his voice and make his point clear, but he’s very clearly v close to everyone on the team (the teams excitement at the prom kings announcement??? they love charlie u can’t convince me otherwise) and he definitely opens up to them a lot. i think the team probably is the first people he really comes out to, and even then it’s not really like a big coming out sorta thing? he just makes some offhand comments here and there and assumes they’ll work it out and we see at the very least in diego that it’s working but it’s also v obvious in luke bc luke kinda hangs around in the back of a couple of charlie/alex scenes and Definitely Knows whats up and i think he’s definitely the one that put the prom kings plan into action and again i could go on and on ab his relationship w luke BUT i digress

essentially? charlie doesn’t feel like a leader even though he is one and the team can kind of sense that and sort of use that to talk over him a lot but there’s also definitely some disconnect w the team over his feelings towards monty (not wearing monty’s jersey for one, diego saying “unlike you she’s sad he’s dead” which brings on Yet Another whole ass rant) but the team does genuinely care for each other a lot and he’s not afraid to stand up to them, he just tends to be outnumbered on a lot of things and whether or not someone else backs him up tends to be the swaying vote on how the team reacts. in terms of actual football leadership? charlie knows what he’s doing and the team listens to him, but when it comes to moral leadership he definitely has more of a subconscious influence than he does an outright one if that makes sense

i haven’t even touched on justin helping him by being co-captain, which i wholeheartedly believe charlie did so that he’d have someone with authority on his side, but justin being co-captain is v important for charlie thanks for coming to my TED talk

[ellana-ravenwood]

Salt, Tequila, Lemon - Jason Todd x Reader

Please read this intro, thank you very much :  

So. I posted this yesterday, but after a bug on the Tumblr app on my phone it got deleted. I’m super bummed out because it had over 200 notes and quite a few feedbacks that I never got to read because it was accidentally deleted...If the people that took the time to comment things on the story could take a bit more time to write a little comment again and give me their feedbacks, and also if the people that liked and reblog could do it once more...i’d appreciate the hell out of you <3.  So reposting it (thanks god I always have back ups of all my stories now). Written in twenty minutes during my break at work. Bam. Hope you’ll like it :

Also, since Tumblr’s new guidelines and enforcement of it, I DON’T really appear in searches anymore, so the only way for this story to be seen by others than those who follow me is to reblog it. So if you wanna, you can show your support for my writing by doing just that. Thanks very much. You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

_________________________________________________

Ok. So. Grandma’s remedy against heartbreak ? Oh, right. 

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 

Got it. Licking the back of your hand to make the salt stick to it, you pour yourself a massive shot of “To-Kill-Ya” in your coffee mug, not even caring about the fact that there is still some remnant of your cappuccino from last night in it. 

You focus on the sound the liquid makes as it fills your cup. Makes you think about something else. Good. Yup. This was totally gonna help right now. 

“Cheers”, you exclaim to yourself, your empty apartment echoing your voice. 

Salt. 

Wincing. Stingy. Salt on its own is gross. 

Tequila. 

More wincing. Oh my god, it burns. The coffee that was still at the bottom of the cup is an oddly nice touch. 

Lemon. 

The last of the Wincing. 

You spit the piece of lemon you just bit into in the trash and…miss. The yellow fruit falls with a little flat sound on the floor, and you honestly can’t bother to pick it up. Your apartment is a mess anyway, so you just stare at it angrily and pour yourself another drink. 

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 

You gulp the last of the citrus and shiver. Miss the trash again. 

Damn. This was good. 

Well, actually, it was disgusting. 

You didn’t like strong alcohol and what the Hell ?! Why did you leave a bit of coffee in your cup ? Now that the aftertaste was kicking in, it was actually really gross. If the tequila itself didn’t make you wanna throw up, the stale coffee taste nearly did. Oh, and the salt and lemon combination was as awful as ever. 

You really didn’t like salt, tequila, or lemon. 

But it was still good. 

Because thanks to all this immediate awfulness, you could slowly feel yourself drift into “haze land”, and forget about your worries. 

Forget that your boyfriend of two years just cheated on you with some random woman you worked with. Woman that, by the way, he met at the Christmas “end of the year” party from you work you invited him to…You gave him free champagne and mise-en-bouche and all your love, and he broke your heart. 

It wasn’t your thing, to drink your sorrow away. And it wasn’t your thing either to wallow because of a man…But you genuinely thought he was “the one” (oh what a mistake you would soon realize that was). 

He was always so nice, treating you like a princess. He complimented you daily, and never forgot an important date. He was affectionate, not to an annoying point. He was the perfectamount of affectionate. He was a gentleman and seemed to love you and yet, he betrayed you. 

If a man like him, that was nothing short but sweet and passionate with you, cheated on you, then did that mean you couldn’t trust anyone ? 

Because in your eyes right now, he was perfect. Albeit said eyes were slightly clouded by a a few tequila shots. 

You were downing a fourth drink starting to slowly sob when…

There’s very few things that can get you out of a drunk state in seconds. 

An extremely cold shower could do the trick, for instance. Brings you back to your senses a bit you know ? You wouldn’t magically be sober, but you’d get a clearer mind. Or someone giving you shocking news ! Or like, an event so incredible that your body just forgets how drunk it is for a minute. 

And this event, for you, came at the perfect time. 

Right when you were entering your “sad drunk” phase, which was between the “lol alcohol does NOTHING to me” phase where you downed most of your drinks, and the “dancing on the bar’s counter” phase (a few more drinks and you would have a one woman dance party in your living room, acting as if you were on a bar’s counter and that your name was suddenly “Britney”).

Right when you were about to wallow times a thousand, and cry, and yell “whyyyyyyy ?!” to the sky, arms in the air (drama queen). 

Years later, looking back on that particular event, you’ll start to realize that Destiny HAS to exist. Because come on, it was just too perfect a timing to be a simple coincidence. 

You were about to swallow up your fifth drink, launching yourself head first into the “sad phase” when an ear shattering noise rang all around your apartment. 

Broken glass. 

It was the sound of broken glass. Heightened to the max by your drunkness. You turned on your stool, and…there he was. 

It was a guy. That you were sure of because he had no boobs and too much pecs. And that guy…well that guy just flew right through your window, destroying it. How rude. 

There was glass everywhere. 

How much did a window cost ? Probably a fortune. 

You wondered briefly if you could just use aluminium foil and tape the shit up. There was nothing of value to steal in your apartment anyway, and if aluminium foil could keep meals warm, it definitely worked with a house too right ? 

You sobered up quite a bit, but you were also very drunk when this event happened, so your mind was still in that cloudy weird phase where your priorities were…interesting. 

You worried more about the broken window at first, than about that guy who just launched through it. 

A guy. 

Not just any guy. 

You saw that guy before. 

He was one of those night vigilante your crazy hometown was filled with…RED HOOD !! 

“Thick thighs”, is the first thing you thought right after you recognized him (priorities). 

The second thing you thought was that you needed another drink, and so you downed what was your fifth one, but with that crazy thing happening ended up being on the same level as if it was a second one. You were tipsy, but not “drunk” anymore. 

The third thing that came to your mind was…Is he still alive ? 

No cause, he was like, just laying there, on your living room’s floor, not moving. 

“…Outch.” 

Oh. He spoke. 

So he ain’t dead. Good, means you can have another drink then, you don’t need a clear mind to call an ambulance or something. 

Oddly enough, in your half-drunk half-sober state, this sounded completely reasonable. Nevermind if Red Hood had some internal bleeding or something. He talked. He was probably fine. 

A minute passed, and you just sat there, sipping up your tequila in between taking a pinch of salt and biting into a piece of lemon. 

Salt, tequila, lemon. Great remedy against heartbreaks. 

Wait, were you heartbroken ? Really ? You couldn’t really recall that fact now. But, yeah…it was the reason why you were drinking right ? Because right now, all you could think about was the fact that this Red hood guy had abs for days…

This unforeseen event sobered you up quite a bit, but the two shots you just took kinda brought you back to the same state than you were before.

Well. Not quite. You were drunk as hell again, but seemed to have avoided the “sad phase”. Instead, Red Hood bursting quite literally through your window took you to another road. 

The : “Cool, I got a drinking buddy phase”. Well, taking for granted he didn’t have any internal bleeding and wouldn’t die while biting into a lemon wedge. 

“Tough day ?” 

You ask him, as he slowly sits up and shakes his head, trying to regain his senses. He looks towards you and seem surprised (or at least you think he is, because he wears a mask so…kinda hard to tell). 

************

Jason definitely thought he was alone in this place, because no sane person would just sit there, not saying anything, as someone simply jumped through their window. Nope, most people would just freak out. Scream. 

He knows, because it’s not the first time he falls through a window during a night on duty. And every single time it happened, people freaked out. Screamed. Threw stuffs at him, or hid away begging for their life to be spared. 

And yet here you were, half a bottle of tequila in front of you, surrounded by lemon wedges you bit into, and table salt all over your hand, just staring at him curiously. And did you just say : “tough day” ?  

Well, Jason guessed the empty half of the bottle was why you were so chilled about it all. He sat up, and slowly got back to his feet. 

Usually, going through a window meant the end of the night for him. He’d go back to one of his secret stash, patch himself up and get some rest. Most of the time, he fell through windows because someone pushed him or threw him there…Though today, he just embarrassingly missed a step and fell by himself. 

Of course, no one would ever now he tripped while jumping from one building to another (you lived on the last floor) and went careening into your home (and life). Nope, the official story would be that he fought a fierce enemy and was thrown into that window. Finding fake villains name was easy, given how truly ridiculous some could be. 

Tim and Damian were still after the “Illusive Blue Man” that he totally made up that one time he walked into a poll and had a huge black eye that he couldn’t quite explain…Oh man, he had to stop telling such elaborate lies and just say “I fought with a few guys last night” without more explanation. 

But he couldn’t help it. And those kids believed everything he said, it was too tempting…But for now, this wasn’t the issue. Nope. 

He did a quick check of his body and knew he wasn’t really hurt (thanks “dad” for the amazing body armor ugh ?), so he was planning on leaving that poor girl’s house and send a mystery check in the mail to pay for the damage (money stolen from a certain Bruce Wayne of course, as if he would pay himself). 

Yup. He was just gonna stand up, and go on his way and…somehow, he found himself sitting on the stool opposite side of this mysterious girl, and now she was peppering salt on his hand ? 

“Salt”, she says, and she has a cute drunk voice. Jason almost forgets he just went through a window a few minutes ago. 

“Tequila”, she continues, downing her drink and pointing at the one she poured him. He doesn’t even care the she poured it in a cereal bowl that she didn’t even seem to have clean…He drunk worst things in worst recipient. He turns away to take off his mask and so that she can’t see his face, and “bottom’s up”. 

“Lemon !” she finishes, biting into the sour fruit and spitting it in the direction of the trashcan but missing completely. The lemon wedge goes to lost itself amongst his fallen brothers…

Jason bites into his own lemons, and spits it. Right into the garbage. 

There’s a slight pause, where she just stares at the trashcan, and then at Jason, back to the trashcan, and then turns to him again and simply says : 

“Wow.” 

************

So. This was surreal. 

Here you were. In your home. Taking tequila shots. With…Red Hood. 

One of Gotham’s night vigilante. The most violent one. But the dude seemed chilled. He was holding his liquor really well. 

And now you were talking about your broken heart, telling him the story as if he’d been your friend for years. And he was listening. Intently. And reacting to what you were saying. It had been a LONG time, since you had this kind of talk with anyone, and despite the fact you were drunk, you still noticed how nice it felt to have someone to talk to. Someone that genuinely listened. 

“And then he slept with her !” you say angrily. 

“Nooooooo !?!” 

“Yes, he did ! He slept with…with…what was her name…”

“Nicole. From accounting.” 

“Right, Nicole from accounting ! That bitch ! She always just…counts and shit ! And he slept with her ! Nicole from accounting ! Whom he met thanks to me, by the way ! At a partyyyy !! At my wooooork !!” 

“What an ass.” 

“Right ?! Oh but he had such a good ass though…Quite firm. But whenever he wore jeans, it was super flat.” 

“So, not such a good ass in the end then ?” 

“I guess not. You have a good ass. Popping right out in this outfit of yours.” 

Red Hood chuckles, and the sound of his laughter makes you forget that you just said something incredibly embarrassing. His voice is…nice. Deep. Manly. You like it. You wanna make him chuckle some more, so you say, hoping : 

“And it looks very firm. Not just quite firm.” 

It works. He snorts and it’s very cute. Oh wow. He can be sexy and cute. Full package. You smile a bit dreamily. 

For a second, he’s lost in that smile of yours, and there’s a silence installing itself in the room. A comfortable one. That you break : 

“Ok. So now, he’s not that perfect anymore ! He got no ass ! Penalty points ! I never notice how un-assed he was before…” 

Jason smiles and damn. He’s hot. 

Somewhere along the way, he stopped turning his face away from you whenever he took a shot, and just ended up taking his helmet off. He was probably hoping that you’d black out or something, so you wouldn’t remember his face (or he just didn’t care). 

In any case, you were pretty sure you never saw him before. His face kinda reminded you of an old memory. Of someone you saw somewhere long ago, when you were a kid…Which wasn’t really a big help right ? 

Right. You had no idea who he was. And in your drunken state, probably couldn’t piece anything together anyway. So even if you did know who he could be, you wouldn’t know in the end anyway…Makes perfect sense right ?

What you knew was : he’s hot. 

This white streak in his hair did something to you that you couldn’t explain. And that jawline ? You would love to get cut on that bitch.  It could actually cut a bitch, you were sure of it. Those blue eyes ? You’ve never seen someone with such blue eyes. And did you mention to yourself how muscular he was ? Because man you only saw guys like this in magazines ! 

But beyond his handsome features, he seemed like a nice guy. Like he was listening to you, a total stranger. And this realization suddenly raised your guard up. 

You also thought that your ex-cheating-boyfriend was a nice guy. And come to think of it, who the hell just barge in someone’s home like that, and actually stay to drink tequila shots ?! Wait but…in your guts…it’s not like with your ex. 

You don’t think he’s a nice guy. You know he is. 

************

There’s a visible shift in your mood, after this realization. So far, you talked to him about your broken heart freely, and he listened. 

Oddly enough, no words that came out of your (perfect) mouth bored him. Jason wasn’t sure wether it was the alcohol or not, but you captivated him. 

But in a split second, and without him knowing why, your features changed. You were now frowning. Like an unhappy little kid. It was kinda cute, but he didn’t like it because…why were you frowning ? 

He tries to lighten up the mood and says : 

“Well here you go. See, you didn’t loose the perfect guy, his ass was flat in jeans. Can’t work with that, can you ? I bet we can find other flaws. Make you realize he actually was a looser.”  

Your guard is up, but you can’t help but smile a bit, plus you were frowning just now because you realized you just knew you could trust that total stranger, and it was so weird…. 

Besides, no harm in indulging this, because you’re pretty sure it’ll make you feel better to try and see the bad side of your ex-boyfriend, not just his good ones. No one was perfect. And so, still a bit careful, you say : 

“Well…He never got any of my Tv shows or movie references.” 

“Well, here’s a point to take off of his “perfectness”. Doesn’t get pop culture references. Deal breaker.” 

“Yeah…Yeah you’re right. It is. He also used to hate when I made jokes. I like puns ya know ? Terrible ones. Well, he was always embarrassed whenever I made them in public.” 

“Ashamed of his girlfriend, doesn’t sound very gentlemanly, right ?” 

“Yeah. It doesn’t. Maybe he wasn’t such a perfect gentleman…He also used to not want to go out with me if I didn’t wear any make-up and was dressed just casually.” 

“What you mean, he never just went out with you ?” 

“We only went out on dates. I had to dress up. I could be casual home though…” 

“Well goodie, the man let you be yourself when you were home. Big deal. To be honest, sounds like a douchey move.” 

“That was kinda douchey…I never cared what he looked like.” 

And it’s true. For you, physical appearance wasn’t everything. And sure you thought your ex was hot and all, but only because you liked his personality too. You liked his jokes, you were never ashamed of anything he said. 

And right now, sure that stranger that bursted through your window was hot, but the reason you felt like you could tell him things was because he just made you comfortable by his mere aura. Because he gave you such a good vibe. 

You never were fully about appearances. It was always just a bonus for you…So it never occurred to you why your ex would only hang out in public with you if you were pampered. Like he used to hate when you just wore hoodies and no make-up, even if you didn’t need make-up to be beautiful. 

Comes to think of it, he was very much about appearances…Uh. Interesting. You never realized that before. 

You turn to Red Hood, and the look on your face says it all. You’re slowly realizing maybe you didn’t just lost “the one”. The vigilante says : 

“Ok, so : no ass, no humor apparently, doesn’t get pop culture references, and was kind of a jerk when it came to going out with you…” 

“He did tell me often that I was beautiful though. Including when I just woke up from a night out, and was awful looking.”

“Yeah, but he never went out with you looking like that. He shouldn’t feel ashamed of hanging out with you looking like that. Just like he shouldn’t feel embarrassed when you joke. He can be exasperated, like if you really make bad puns, sure. And he can think it’s unfunny…But embarrassed ? No.” 

“I guess…I never thought about it.” 

“Well let me tell you, as someone who does not know neither you nor him personally, he sounds like a bit of a jerk. Let’s not forget he cheated as well. Like, that’s not something good people do. Especially not with…Nicole from accounting.” 

“Nicole from accounting…Yeah. They’re together now though.” 

“So ? He should’ve broken up with you if he realized he liked her. That’s the right thing to do. Trust me on that, I put villains behind bars for a living, I know what’s right or wrong.” 

“I heard you kill criminals.” 

“Used to. I used to kill criminals, I had issues. I’ll tell you one day if you wanna. It’s a real tear jerker story. With clowns and crowbars. And I’m telling you that because I’m drunk, right now. Also, if we want to be specific, I don’t actually make a living out of putting villains behind bars. Like, I don’t get paid or anything…” 

Jason finds himself ranting about anything that comes to his mind, and though he hears himself claim it’s because of the alcohol he’s saying all this, he realizes maybe there’s something else making him want to talk. 

You. A total stranger he walked upon. Or rather, went-through-the-window upon.  Who didn’t freak out when he went through said window. And instead, invited him over to have tequila shots. 

Because, according to your grandmother, the best remedy to…basically any problems in life, was “salt, tequila, lemon”. 

“She was a wise woman.” 

He says, and you turn to him, clearly not understanding what he was talking about. 

“Who ?” 

“Your grandma. For saying that salt, tequila and lemon was a great remedy against heartbreaks and all.” 

“Oh. Yeah. I wouldn’t know, I never met her. She died before I was born.” 

“Well what she passed on to your parents is great.” 

“What ?”

“Well, that “salt, tequila and lemon” thing, I assume she said that to your mom or dad, and then they said that to you, and then it became your grandma’s advice. Right ?” 

“…Nah. It’s an excuse I made up. Whenever I need to justify something, I just say “like my grandma said, ain’t no shame in eating an entire tub of ice cream if you want to”, and then people are just like “oh yeah, cool”, because when you say the word “grandma”, then it gives a perspective to your words ya know ?” 

Jason had no idea what you were on about, but he loved it. You seemed to be very smart. And witty. And funny. The hell did that guy cheated on you for ? And why was he ashamed of going out in public with you when you weren’t dressed up ?! 

You currently wore “Hello Kitty” pyjamas, had absolutely no make up on, and your hair was a mess, and he thought you looked gorgeous.

“Why are you so nice ?” 

Your question takes him by surprise, and for a few seconds he doesn’t register it and just says : “ugh ?” 

“To me. Why are you so nice to me ? Is it the alcohol ? Does it make you nice ? Or are you just nice to every stranger ? Every girl you destroy the windows of ? Or are you like my ex ? You seem nice, but then you go off and cheat on your girl simply because you like another girl and you’re too cowardly to break up with your current girl ?” 

Jason hiccups slightly, and says : 

“No, I’m not nice to any girl I met. I’m actually usually kind of a jerk, too “brutally honest”. But you…I don’t know. You give me good feelings. Oh and here’s to add on his flaws list. “Coward”. Can’t even break up with a girl, has to wait to get caught red-handed and break her heart. Cooooward. Bad flaw. Kind of guy who runs in the face of danger, instead of standing by you.” 

It’s probably the fact that he said “you give me good feelings” that spurs this in you. That gives you a new clearer perspective on things. 

“My heart wasn’t broken.”

It’s a shock, to you. This realization. This sudden feeling jumping in your face. You…are not heartbroken. You’re mad. You’re frustrated. You feel betrayed. You feel a crazy burning anger towards your ex for toying around with you like that. For not having the balls to just break up, after spending two years together. 

He was suppose to know you. To be your friend. Things could have turned out better. He could have just come up to you, say the truth, and…You were pretty sure you’d still be friend. Because he really was a great guy. 

He really was all the good thing you though about him. He made a mistake, an unforgivable one in your book. But he was a great guy. 

He was just…not your great guy. Not anymore at least. 

And you realized, there, quite drunk, that…It was ok.  

Your heart wasn’t broken.  

Your heart wasn’t broken. 

Your pride was. Your trust was. But your heart ? …Maybe you weren’t completely in love with him. You were best friends, yes, but love ? Maybe it wasn’t love…

Your heart wasn’t broken. 

“My heart isn’t broken.” 

You tell Red hood, looking at him right in his wonderful ocean blue eyes. And he looks right back at you, and just nods. Just like that. And then he pours you one last tequila shot. 

Because like your grandma would say : “When you make great discovery about yourself…Salt, tequila, lemon”. 

************

It took you only a few hours with him to realize that you weren’t in love with your ex, and that was kinda scary. Because this realization didn’t come from nowhere. 

Nope. 

But when he said that your ex broke your heart, you felt obligated to tell him that no. No your heart wasn’t broken. You were sad and angry, yes, but not heartbroken. For you, in that moment, it was important for this total stranger to know you weren’t actually in love. 

Hell, you didn’t even know yourself you weren’t that in love before you talked to him. It just came as a sudden, yet utterly true revelation. 

Because, and this wasn’t the alcohol speaking…You felt incredibly attracted to that guy. To Red Hood. Not just because of the white streak in his hair, and the eyes, and smile, and voice, and abs, and thick thighs. That too, sure, but not only…Nope. 

Nope. Not because of this. 

But because he had a tough day (he said so himself, explaining to you how he went through the window…he was fighting a super-villain when he got flung through your window, tough tough time ahem), and yet he sat with a crazy lady that peppered salt on his hand and practically forced him to take a tequila shot…

Because you could see in his eyes, and felt in your guts that he didn’t have an easy life…and yet he took a break from whatever he was doing to just sit with you and listen to you. He didn’t even make sense, that you trusted those feelings so fiercely. And yet, you did. Because he listened to you. 

He saw you were struggling and he stayed. And though you felt you couldn’t trust anyone at that time…You oddly felt like he was ok. 

Like he wouldn’t be the kind of guy to cheat, or run in the face of danger, leaving you all alone to fight off demons. 

In a few short hours, you fell for this guy more than you ever fell for your ex. 

What did that say about you uh ? …That was pretty pathetic…

************

Jason didn’t think that you were pathetic at all. 

On the contrary. If he went to seat with you, and drink with you, is because he was instantly mesmerized by you. 

And though he didn’t know at first why, now he was sure of it. 

It’s because you didn’t freak out. And something told him it wasn’t only because you were a bit drunk (he fell in drunk people’s home before…none reacted like you). 

Nope. It was because you were special. He just knew it. Special in every way. Funny. Beautiful. Genuinely listening to him when he was speaking. 

He peppered his own problems within your story, as you told him. And you listened. Hell, even referenced a few things he said early on, way later, while you were crazy drunk. You listened. 

You gave a total stranger that seemed to have a tough day some salt. And tequila. And lemons. 

And then you cared. You asked him a thousand times if he was ok, and he basically had to take off his armor to prove it so (to your eyes’ greatest pleasure…mm mm mm those muscles). 

Captivated. He was captivated by you. It was strange, and though he knew it was because you were special, he still was unclear as to why his feelings were that strong. 

For someone he just met. And barely knew. And only knew while drunk. 

You were just…Special. 

************

It was surreal. The all thing. 

What started as a night where you planned on wallowing your pain and drinking…ended up changing your life. 

And no one could convince you that it wasn’t Fate. Because what were the odds that Red Hood would fall through YOUR window after tripping (yeah you didn’t buy that “fighting super-villains thing” at all) ?

What were the odds of his timing being so perfect, arriving just before you started to cry ? Because there was no doubt in your mind that if he had come a few seconds later, he wouldn’t have stayed. 

He would have found a crying mess, and maybe he would have tried to confort you but…You wouldn’t have answered. In your “sad phase”, you only cry and whine. He would have eventually left. And the wonderful talk you’d just have, would never have happened. 

But instead. He came right before your lips touch that fatal shot of tequila that would have brought you into the “sad phase”. And took your drunkness down a notch. Rerouted your evening. 

You weren’t wallowing anymore, you were ranting. 

Sharing your anger and frustration. 

And he helped you realize that your ex wasn’t that perfect…That maybe it was just not meant to be…After all, he cheated on you. 

Uh. What a shame. You didn’t even know his name…”Red Hood”…

You wished you knew his name. 

************

The morning lights were rising, and the bottle of tequila was long gone. 

There were still salt and lemons though. For some reason, you decided to buy the entire grocery store’s stock of lemons. 

Red Hood stood up, and said he had to go. 

He was nice about it. Said it was a pleasure to have spend the night with you. You both laughed about the innuendos that ensued. 

You were exactly on the same page. And he understood all your joke referencing to pop culture… 

But it was time for him to go. And he apparently had no intention of telling you his real name. He didn’t hint either at ever coming back to see you again. 

And there was that. Just a nice night, spend talking to a genuine friend that you’ll never see again. 

A genuine friend that you didn’t even know a few hours before. 

Maybe it was the alcohol speaking. Maybe not. 

And even if you ended up never seeing him again, this evening truly changed your life…At least, it saved you from a heartbreak. Made you realize it wasn’t that.

Though, now, as he climbs out of the window again (he couldn’t possibly use the front door), you feel like the actual heartbreak is starting. 

Grandma’s remedy against heartbreak ? Right. 

Salt, tequila, lemon…

But the tequila is all gone. 

“I’ll send someone to fix that window…Sorry again about that. …Bye.” are his last words, and then he’s out. 

And the tequila is all gone. 

************

… 

…

…

…

Days pass by in a blur. 

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 

Ugh. But you don’t want to this time. You don’t want to get drunk to forget. 

You don’t want to forget him. And you know it’s ridiculous to get that worked up over a guy you met one night and that will never come back. That you didn’t even know the name of. 

This entire night was weird anyway. 

Getting drunk with a dangerous night vigilante. Pouring your heart out to him, and him doing the same. The hell were you even thinking ? 

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 

That would be a good idea to do this right now, because man…your heart hurt. More than when you discovered your ex sleeping with Nicole. From accounting. But you can’t resolve yourself to drink. To forget. Nope. Instead you…

*Knock knock knock*. 

Uh ? You take a quick look at your clock in the kitchen.10 pm. Who the hell is coming at 10 pm ?! It can only be bad news. Especially in Gotham…You peep into the eyehole and…

WHAT ?! 

You open your door quickly, and… 

“Told you I’d send someone to fix your window.” 

It’s him. It’s Red hood. But in…civilian clothes. 

His ass doesn’t look flat in jeans. 

He’s holding a window wrapped in cardboard, and there’s a toolbox at his feet. 

“Yeah, you did…come in.” 

************

Jason Todd. 

That’s his name. And connections are fast to be made in your brain. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayne’s adopted son. That supposedly died…ten years ago. 

And is Red Hood now. Oh. It makes sense. Even his little “killing criminals” thing while Batman never killed. You easily put two and two together. 

Red Hood. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayne. 

Wow. Can’t believe you never guessed that before. Of course Bruce Wayne is Batman. He’s got the motive, the means, the excuses…It’s so obvious. And yet, you never realized. And no one else in Gotham ever realized. 

Jason Todd. 

Now you know his name. 

And he’s fixing your window. Nobody ever fixed windows for you before (even those who broke it).

Um. To add to the “perfect man” list : “Handy”. 

Jason Todd.  

He quickly works the window up, and then he turns to you. While he was working you talked, as if you knew each other for years. Joking around. Like old friends. Like old extremely good and close friends. 

It fits. It clicks. It’s natural. You and him, him and you. 

Barely knowing each others, and yet knowing each others the best. 

Jason. Todd. 

He turns to you now, and with a smirk, he says : 

“Ya know, my grandma always say that when something good happens to you, you need to celebrate. And I feel like this, right now, you and I, though I have no idea what we’re doing and where it’s going…Well it’s still something to celebrate. And she always says, my grandma, that to celebrate perfectly you need…” 

You smile. 

Yeah. You don’t know where this thing between you two is going, but you do know that you never met someone who so fully understood you. 

And in such a short span of time. And you know you’re not mistaking. It’s a feeling too strong to be a mistake. 

He came back to fix your window for god’s sake. And trusted you enough to tell you his actual name. Without a second thought. Which meant everything. Especially since from all the hint he let slip through last time you saw each others, about his father, well…let’s just say telling people his real name wasn’t really something he was used to. 

But it just works. It fits. It clicks. It’s not like with your ex, because you don’t think you know it does. It just does. The fact that you say those next few words in perfect sync finishes to convince you : 

(“…And she always says, my grandma, that to celebrate perfectly you need…”) 

“Salt, tequila, and lemons.” 

______________________________________________

I’m so mad the Tumblr app crashed and I deleted the original post...Y’all were great and reblogged the hell out of it ! Which is why it got so many notes in such a short span of times. And feedbacks. I haven’t had that many feedbacks on a story in a long time. So just one last time and I won’t bother you with that again : Please, if you enjoyed this story, don’t hesitate to reblog it and share it with others. People who don’t follow me can’t really find my stories anymore so...you’re a big help by spreading them. It’s always very encouraging. 

And if you got the time, feedbacks are always hella appreciated and always make my day a little brighter <3. 

[kinktae]

holy crap!! I just noticed y/n’s family in bitchin is like stranger things !!!! I love that sm omg love it so far btw ♡

YESSSS thank u for noticing!! I have a lot of fun with writing bitchin i do hehe

(warning: literal 80 asks under the cut)

Anonymous said: not @ me reading bitchin’ during math literally SLAMMING YHE DESK

crystalsnowd said: I LOVED BITCHINNNN OMG UR SO TALENTED I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT PART

Anonymous said: I was going to stay up to wait for Bitchin but I went to sleep instead because today is my first day of school (second year of university) so I decided to get sleep while I still could. Also I read the update on the train sitting next to a random lady and I really hope she didn’t look over at my phone lol. I loved the update and I can’t wait for the rest of the series!!!

Anonymous said: OMG BITCHIN WAS SO GOOD! You're such an amazing writer!!!

jun-sohyunnie-dotnet said: Just an fyi, bitchin' jk is my FAVORITE jk I've ever had the pleasure of reading. Ever. He could stomp all over me and I'd thank him profusely. (And you're writing is absolutely captivating 🥺💕💕)

sugarkinky said: Bitchin just wrecked me for real, U ARE AWESOME ROSE mierda que te amo chica ¿cómo consigues escribir así? Eres perfecta ❤

Anonymous said: Bruh bitchin was everything I wanted and more thank u baby

Anonymous said: Bitchin’ is amazing! I have so many feelings ahhhh!!! I love you and your work 🥺

awkwardaegyo said: YOU HAVE GOT ME SO THIRSTY FOR JUNGKOOK FUCKIN PARCHED D-HYDRATED IF YOU WILL BITCHIN HAS GOT ME FUCKEC UP!!!!!

Anonymous said: Bitchin' is literally my favourite fic right now, it's so good! 😍 Can't wait for the next part!!

gardenofrosesx said: Im in love with bitchin 🥺💗 I think that the song that represent it so well is Wait a minute by Willow Smith, every time a hear it I imagine this fic💗 I send you thousands of good vibes and love and peace to your side! Keep going 💗

Anonymous said: Ahhhh I just wanted to say bitchin is absolutely amazing and is so well written and I’m just completely hooked!!! YOU DID AMAZING!!! Also is there gonna be angst in future chapters BECAUSE IM REALLY NOT READY IF BOTH JUNGKOOK AND OC DENY THEIR FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER

Anonymous said: girl, I finally got around to reading bitchin' and I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T READ IT SOONER. it's been a while since I've found a chaptered fic that kept my interests but I was hooked with pt 1!!! I love your spin on tatbilb, and I love the characters you created. I have to honestly say, I'm also absolutely in love with the way you write. your descriptions and dialogue hit me in all the right places. I can't wait to see where this story takes me. thank you for doing what you do!

Anonymous said: Love Bitchin so far!

Anonymous said: i keep rereading bitchin pt. 5😭😭 love it so much

Anonymous said: hi!! I just wanted to leave an ask and let you know that you’re one of my absolute favorite authors and your work is incredible!! the concept behind your rewind series is so unique and interesting and all of the stories have been wonderful so far. I’m so looking forward to the rest of bitchin’ because it has been so so so good and I love the way that you’re developing the characters and the plot. I hope you have a wonderful day!!

Anonymous said: just finished bitchin 5 and ................ i cant believe how ure able to write jungkook to Life and characterize him in such an attractive way it makes it so artistic and aknejdjdj it’s art it’s everything

Anonymous said: Argh the grind is real! I’m about to start my exams too so we can both be working our asses off! Also Bitchin is such a great series and I wanted to let you know you’re an amazing writer!!! The series made me so emotionally invested in the characters and I can’t get enough of it!! ITS SO GOOODDD THANK YOU FOR WRITING SUCH A MASTERPIECE

sanniinnas said: Hiii! Love your writings soo much! You have such a talent with words! You inspire me as a writer and make me want to learn writing and English better.

Anonymous said: I am seriously laughing from the asks that have been send to you and i cannot wait to read the ff because now i am busy :( also random fact, my biology teacher told us aboit Rosa Franklin and i already knew about her, and all i could keep thinking was bitchin pt5 and i started laughing. They thought i was a maniac 😎🤙

Anonymous said: just wanted to say bitchin’ is *chefs kiss* and i can’t wait for part 7 🥺 i’m not trynna rush you i’m just excited 🥺

nochusbutt said: okay but FIRST OF ALL, YES BITCHIN’ YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. secondly, my name is Rose too I’m so, what? omg yes I literally share a name with a legend. quote me!! 🥰☺️🤪

Anonymous said: Ahhh I am so excited for Bitchin Pt 6!!! No exaggeration this is my all time favorite fic, I think ab it a lot honestly. Whenever I see 80s aesthetic BTS edits I think of Bitchin and lots of love songs make me think of this fic too. I’m not a huge fan of smut but this fic is just so good. The OCs and Jks interactions are precious and I’m obsessed with the 80s theme! I am a huge fan of angst so I am ready to cry my eyes out. Thank you for writing this amazing fic

Anonymous said: aight...time to go re-read bitchin again ....[insert /ah shit, here we go again/ video]

Anonymous said: I CANT WAIT FOR BITCHIN

hear-me-growl said: Wait! Bitchin' is not done?! It's one of my favourite fics ever! I love the whole cliche college vibe, the dialogues are sooo good and the chemistry between Jk and the girl it's just perfect, really. And now you tell me it's not finished.😱 I AM SO EXCITED! you've made my day! Keep up the good work, you are amazing 😍

Anonymous said: AAAAAAAA THE BITCHIN UPDATE WAS SO GOOD !!!!! but also Kiri that bItCh y/n don’t fall for it 🤡😩

Anonymous said: i want sleep but BITCHIN

Anonymous said: IM PUMPED FOR BITCHINYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Anonymous said: Thankyou for updating bitchin sis!!!! But im so sad because this is their first fight(?) i hope they can talk about it and hoping kiri doesnt talk nonsense tp y/n ok :( but I AM GLAD JUNGKOOK REALIZE HE LIKES OC OKEY OKEY! 💜💜💜 sending 💜💜💜💜 to you because you deserve it👏🏼

diortae said: rose I have class in a few minutes and all I can think about is how much I want bitchin jk to raw me what have u DONE

Anonymous said: BITCHIN WAS GREATTTT 🥰 RLLY CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTT 🥺🥺

sunnyoongles said: bitchin is literally so good*chefs kiss* i love angst*chefs kiss* i love drama*chefs kiss* i just love the whole rewind series*chefs kiss*

Anonymous said: BITCHIN’ PART 6 EXCUSE ME STOP TRYING TO HURT MY FEELINGS IM NOT READY FOR THE ANGST

ppampin said: so yesterday i read bitchin pt. 6 three times in a row because it was just so good and now i can't wait to pt. 7 to come out

Anonymous said: Finally got to read bitchin 6, WTF IS GOING ON!? I’m so confused!! Do I trust my so called boyfriend or do I trust “girl code” by my boo’s ex who tried to scare me away from my boo the first time we met ??!!?

Anonymous said: i really need to know something about bitchin 🤔 is kiri a bitch or we don't have feminine rivalry here? help me out rose

Anonymous said: It is almost 1 am in here and I have a morning class but guess who is gonna binge re read all the Bitchin because the last chapter was so good?? 🤔

Anonymous said: I’m so ready for you to break our hearts in bitchin. I live for the angst 😭😭😪

Anonymous said: Rose you are KILLING ME with this story like I'm not even caught up on my favorite TV shows this week but goddammit I still made time for Bitchin' 💕💕💕

cheeky-kookie said: Girl I am sooooo fucking happy with Bitchin' 6. Like I love the small progressions Jungkook is having coming to terms with his actual feelings with Y/N. Also btw, loving the whole Yara/Tae moments going on ;) As always, I'm in love. Thank you for blessing us with this masterpiece

Anonymous said: Rosie !! I just read Bitchin’ and BIIIIITCH you have my feelings on a rollercoaster !!!!!! I’ve never been so invested in a fanfic like this and imma tell you how much I appreciate you for putting your work out on the internet. Especially for free like wtf ! Your writings are some quaLITY shit that I would purchase without hesitation 👌🏽👏🏽 I was wondering if you ever considered going into the writing career ? Anyways have a lovely day 💛💛 -MC

Anonymous said: This ch 6 getting all the attention away from my precious zombie Jungkook 😤 But who am I to say I love Bitchin😂😍 This Kiri better not be playing dirty games we are already not in good terms with her 🧐 And why is nobody talking about the fact that Y/N finally got her event she dreamed of?? Congrats girlll 🎊🎉🥳👌👏

Anonymous said: EXCUSE ME DID I READ THAT U SAID BITCHIN WILL BE ANGSTY FROM HERE ON OUT WBAT MY HEART I CANG FJSHSHDJS

sapphireprinces5 said: I am 1000% not ready for angst between the precious y/n and Jungkook in Bitchin’ omfg i’m honestly terrified and going to buy some tissues from the cvs across the street

Anonymous said: I JUST FINISHED READING BITCHIN 6 AND JUNGKOOK PLS TELL ME THAT JUNGKOOK IS OVER KIRI )))): he couldn’t have been lying about the way he felt for y/n even though it was reheated, right??? I’m SADD. But Rose, you are so beyond talented!!! I love reading your works!!!

Anonymous said: Ok, Rose you gotta let me know if Bitchin’ will have a happy ending, because I don’t know if my emotions can handle an upseti spaghetti ending. Anywho I love you and your writing, everything is chefs kiss. 💗

Anonymous said: bitchin will have 10 parts?????? ma'am u got the power

Anonymous said: OKAY SO BITCHIN’ IS AMAZING AND LIKE— I LOVE (1) DUMB “”””COUPLE”””” Your writing is amazing omg

Anonymous said: Me: already read bitchin completely You: reblogs pt.6 Me: a little refresher wouldn’t hurt 👀

Anonymous said: I wish u the best during your hiatus!!! Take lots of care bby :3 Just wanted to tell you how much I love the 'Bitchin' series, I'm shooketa at how well written it is. Y/N is a really refreshing character, especially as an STEM major myself, it's so relatable to some extent, especially when it comes to appreciating compliments about your inteligence, that really got me, since it's kinda unsual. I hope I found a Jungkook one day then :') jk, but really, I absolutely loved it, you're the best!!!

Anonymous said: hi just so u r aware if u make the end of bitchin’ sad i will cry. that will be on u. my tears will be UR fault.

Anonymous said: i just wanted to say thank you. when bitchin’ came out, there was a part where y/n talks about why she hated her twin sisters. it was comforting to know that i wasn’t alone in feeling uncool or boring. i never brought up my brother because i thought people would see how uncool i was and so i put my effort into school instead. thanks for bringing me comfort and for pushing me to love myself more and to change my viewpoints on the parts of myself i view as boring!!!!! 💛💛💛💛💛💛🌼

this made me :’))) i love knowing that you can find comfort in my characters!!! there is a little piece of me in all my characters but I do try to make them all somewhat different so that other people can relate. best of luck lovely!!

purplealiensblog said: Yo ily and cant wait for the next chapter of bitchin but i have to share: i got a notif on a new chapter and was all excited and then i discover its tumblr being glitchy again and notifying me on the last one :( i hope you will find time soon to write the rest and thank you for writing i love your work🥰♥️

Anonymous said: BITCH I JUST FINISHED READING BITCHIN IN JUST ONE DAY AND NOW I’M CRYING BECAUSE THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE FIC OF ALL TIME!!!.!.!.! (also sorry my bad englisheu i’m not native lmao)

Anonymous said: HELLO LOVELY AAAAAAAA IM HAPPY YOURE BACK 😩 are u reallyback tho? Hehe im so shookt with the new chapter of bitchin’ has me yearning for more😭 im def a proud bitchinator😔👏 tHANK YOU FOR THIS GIFT BEFORE CHRISTMAS😃 WE LOVE U!!!!💜 we MISSED YOU!! 💜 i hope u are loved and happy and cared for! 💜K

Anonymous said: Hi there !!I hope your doing well ! Taking your time to recover and work on yourself I literally just finshed bitchin to the last update and oof I just gotta tell you what the f How do you write the characters so well... I love me some good characterization like oof ICANNOT JJK IS SO I WANNA SMOOSH HIM IN MY ARMS LIKE PLEASE THE STORY IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING HAHA I HOPE IM NOT SCARING YOU WITHMY CAPSLOCK I just wish to sincerely get my excitement across hahaha I love you boo take care x

nonecesitodenadie said: I rarely send asks but... I'm reading bitchin and I'M LOVING IT, really it's amazing i hope that you can continue it, i send you much love and thanks for your work you're so talented 🥺❤️

Anonymous said: can i just say bitchin' is honest to god such a good good good fic like i'm so in l*ve with it 😩 i've probably reread it thrice waiting for a new update ): i also happen to love your other works so much as well!!

sydney--chan said: Okay so no cap yesterday I was talking to my friend (who also reads your work) about me and my bf n she was like "he loves you the way Bitchin' jk loves Y/N aND I SOBBED ROSE IT MADE ME CRY FOR HOURS

usagionthem00n said: Lol I know you’ve been kinda quiet on here BUT IM HERE TO PLATONICALLY HARASS U???(tbh idk I’m just trying to find a reason to bother you) I-I miss u 👉👈 HOPE THIS POST MADE U SMILE ILL BE BACK BITCH (Um speaking of bitches I still need to join the bitchinators :/) I PROMISE ILL GET TO IT!!!

Anonymous said: HIIII! so, one night I spent about two hours trying to find another great Jungkook story... I was losing hope in finding one BUT THEN I FOUND “BITCHIN” and omg it’s amazing, I absolutely love it!!!!! take care always, have a great day!! thank you for creating such a beautiful story.

Anonymous said: Can I just say.... bitchin is so good! like it’s been so long since I’ve liked a fic as much as bitchin??!!? Everything about it has me like :)))) so yes just wanted to let u know hehe

Anonymous said: IM ACTUALLY OBSESSED W THE “BITCHIN” SERIES YOU DONT EVEN KNOW 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

SO MANY OF U LOVIN ON BITCHIN!! MAYHAPS IM OVERWHELMED (in the best way possible). Thank u everyone who sent an ask in, i am the happiest bean in bed rn reading all these asks C:

[unhealthyobsessionmarvel]

I Win- Reader/Dom!Tom Hiddleston

A/N : So im writing a fanfic but I couldn’t get this outta my head and it doesn’t fit into the current plot of my fanfic so here goes.

Summary/ Backstory: You and Tom have been dating for a couple months already. Today you get into a bet with Bucky and things get interesting…

Warnings: Cursing, Smut, Bad Grammar?

You and Tom were in the bedroom watching a movie. You were sitting on the couch while Tom was on the bed. “Why are you so far away?” He whined.

“I didn’t even realise” You replied.

“Come here” he demanded.

“nooo, I’m comfy here” you groaned.

“Please” he made a pouty face. “baby come on” “Fine” You got up and walked over to Tom.

You sat beside Tom and he laid his head on your lap. You were running your hand through his curls. A few minutes later he sat up and pulled you so you were sitting in-between his legs. He wrapped his arms around your waist and you turned to give him a quick peck on the lips. He rested his head on your shoulder. After a few minutes of sitting like this he started giving you soft kisses along your shoulder then down your arm and back up again. You tried to ignore him and watch the movie, but eventually you gave in and paused the movie.

“something wrong” he said smugly “Can you not?” You said, annoyance in your voice “Am I distracting you?” He asked with a sly grin on his face. “Yes” You replied bitterly. “Damn you can’t focus on anything.” He stated with a chuckle “What do you mean by that?” You asked, raising an eyebrow “You just can’t” He stated simply “YES I CAN!” You exclaimed. “Really?” He questioned you “Yeah” you said confidently

“Then lets have a bet.” He said. You were in deep shit now.

“I’m listening.” You quirked an eyebrow at him

“You have to finish reading your book in 30 minutes, while I try to distract you.” “and if I can’t?” “You have to do whatever I say for 2 hours." “And if I can” “then I’ll do whatever you say for 2 hours.” “ok deal” “And if you don’t do whatever I say, then I can do whatever I want to you. And vice versa Deal?” “Seems fair enough." “ok good.” “Wait.” You said “Yea”

“I think we need some rules first” “ugh you and your rules. Fine!” “Rule number one: We can’t tell anyone about this.” “Ok.” Tom nodded. “BUT, if one of us tells then they have to do whatever the other person tells them to do for a week.” “A WEEK?” “why do you think you are gonna tell anyone?” “No of course not. But a week? Really?”

“do you agree or not?” “I mean a week?” You weren’t sure “Yes! Agreed?”

“Fine whatever” You rolled your eyes

“Ok whats rule number 2?” “No video or photographing embarrassing things. Agreed?” “Yes. And rule three?” “nothing involving others”

“what?” “like you can’t make me call or text someone.” “fine” “basically anything involving others. We can only do things that involve the both of us.” “oh just the both of us huh?” He wiggled his brows “you want me to add a 4th rule?” You threatened.

“I’m just kidding around.” He chuckled

“So you agree to the rules?” “Yes. Lets start?”

“Ok”

You got you book, there was only a few pages left and you were confident.

“ready?” He asked

“yes” you replied “timer starts now”

You began reading and after a minute he started to sing. He was actually starting to distract you. You did your best to focus. Once Tom realised singing wasn’t working he started yelling out nicknames. “Sugar” he called out. You didn’t reply “SUGAR” you weren’t going to reply. “BABY. HONEY. SWEETIE. PIE.” He continued to yell out pet names. You were halfway though the time and you were only 40% done. You continued reading, then Tom started yelling out numbers. “sixty five. Seventy two. Three” he said. It was actually distracting because you kept getting lost while reading. “BABY LOOK ITS IRONMAN” he yelled, “FIFTEEN. FOUR. ONE. SEVEN HUNDRED.” He yelled even louder. Then Tom played music, it was obnoxiously loud, and started dancing. With around 5 minutes left Tom left you alone. He opened the door and left it open, he knew it was one of your pet peeves. The timer buzzed and you still had a few pages left.

“So did you finish?” He asked smugly. He knew you weren’t done, he was just rubbing salt on the wound.” “No” “So I win.” “yeah” you replied, you were pissed.

“Since I win, and you have to do everything I say-” “Just!” You cut him off “what do you want me to do?” “Massage my back” He grinned “I can do that.” You nodded “ok wait let me just start the timer again” Tom started the timer “ok”

“lay on the bed” You requested “I tell you what to do” He reminded “ok ok sorry. Lay on the bed please” “better” He was lying face down and you kneeled beside him. You began massaging his back. You massaged him for around ten minutes, then Tom told you to stop. You got off the bed and he sat up.

“Baby come here” he said. And you moved closer to him. He wrapped his arms around your waist and started taking again. “I’m so glad your mine.” “I’m glad too” you smiled

“Now.” He became a little more serious. “Get on your knees” he said. The way he said it brought a chill down your spine. You could hear the sheer power in his voice. You got down on your knees. Honestly, win or lose you would have still done what he told you to, cause he was right you were his, and he was yours. “Sugar?” You looked at him.

“Yes Tom?”

“Stay still.” He ordered

“Ok.” Tom kissed your neck, it brought chills down your spine. Then he left the room and came back with a white box in his hand. He gave you the box. “Change into this.” He demanded. You went to the bathroom and opened the box. Inside was black a lace bra and pantie, and a black ruffle skirt. The skirt was short, like really short. “TOM WHAT IS THIS” You yelled though the door. “Put everything on.” He yelled back. The authority in his voice, you couldn’t believe you were about to do this. You changed into the clothes he gave you. You were about to close the box when you saw a choker. It had a small diamond on the front. It was cute. “ARE YOU DONE?” Tom asked through the door “yah hold on” you replied. You walked out the door and the look on Tom’s face was priceless. You were satisfied with his reaction, and happy that you had been working out these past few months. You look boom af.

“like what you see baby?” You asked him smugly. “come her” he said. You went beside him. “you are amazing” You giggled, “tha-” Before you had the chance to complete your reply. You were against the wall with Tom’s lips on yours. It took you a moment to compose myself, but once you did you wrapped your arms around his neck. He broke the kiss.

“You said sometimes you wish I would slam you against the wall and kiss you.” He said smugly “huh?” You felt dizzy. “yah” “I always wanna do that.” He said, seriously “oh yah? Why didn’t you?” You asked, with a smart ass tone. “I didn’t know you were ok with it.” Then Tom’s lips were on yours again. You and Tom had kissed before, hell you’ve fucked before, but he’s never kissed you like this. There was never this much passion. He began kissing your neck around the choker, slightly sucking. “T-Tom n-no ma-m-arks” You managed to stutter out. He stopped. “On the bed. Now.” He demanded, you followed. “don’t move” he ordered, then left the room again. Your heart was going to pound out of your chest. He came back, carrying another box. He slid the box under the bed. “Baby?” “Yes, Hon” you replied “You are gonna do everything I say. Right?” “Yes” “Good” He crawled over you. “cause if you don’t I’ll do whatever I want” He said playfully “Yes” “But, baby. You are ok with this right. If you don’t wanna its ok.” He said, softly. You could tell how genuine he was being. “No. I want this” you insisted “are you sure?” “Yes” “I don’t wanna force you.” “Hon. I want to”  “ok” “but” “yes?” “remember no telling” “Ok. baby” he rolled his eyes. “what do you want me to do?” You asked “stay still” “what” “Do not move.” He said sternly “seriously?” You whined “yes” “ok”  “Remember baby, if you move that means you disobeyed me. Then I can do whatever I want”  “Ok honey”

“Its sir for now” “what?” “Call me Sir” “Yes. Sir” “Who do you belong to?” “You.” “You. What?” “You. Sir” “That’s right sugar” Tom kissed you. “remember no moving sugar. Do you understand?” “Yes. Sir” “Good” Tom started softly kissing your lips. Then he went down to you neck, then to your shoulder. You did your best not to move, but he was making it difficult. After you shoulder he started kissing your cleavage. Then suddenly he put one hand under your skirt. He lightly rubbed your covered core, this was enough to make you slightly flinch. “No moving” he reminded. Then he began kissing you bare stomach. Again you were glad you had been working out these past few months. “You have abs” He stated. “It’s not really abs” you replied. He looked up at me “then what is it?” “its just the 11s”  You stated. It really was just the three lines tho. “Whatever.” He rolled his eyes, then he continued to kiss you. Once he was at your core he slowly glided a finger across it, sending a tingling sensation though your whole body. “you are so wet.” He said. Then he lifted the skirt and began kissing the inside of both your thighs, teasing you. Then he put a hand into your bra and grabbed your boob and the other hand resting on your core. He kissed your lips again. Tom paused to take off his shirt. You couldn’t help but look in awe of toned he was. ‘He said I had abs, what about him? His six-pack looked as if it was sculpted by the Ancient Greeks.’ You thought. Tom liked wearing sweaters and honestly they hid how toned he was. “So. Baby. Like what you see?” He teased. You could only nod. Tom went back to kissing you. He brought a hand behind your back and unclipped your bra. Then he pulled it off. The second after your chest was bare he began kissing down your cleavage. Then he started playing with your nipples, again teasing you. He then licked your nipple, which followed with his teeth pulling them. You couldn’t help but grab onto his hair. “I said no moving.” Tom stopped and said sternly.

“Baby I’m sorry I couldn’t.” You replied

“and to call me sir” “Sorry. Sir” You apologised “No its too late now. I can do whatever I want.” He said. He had a wicked grin on his face. “and I know exactly what I wanna do.” Tom got the box from under the bed and opened it. He pulled out a pair of handcuffs. Wait, those were your handcuffs. “wanna explain to me why you have handcuff baby?” “Where did you find those” You questioned him “In your bathroom. When I was looking for your nail clippers" “shit”

“I found some interesting stuff instead.” He said smugly “oh shit”

“like this” he pulled out the vibrator Victoria gave you. “Tom I swear Vic gave me that. I’ve never used it” “Really? Oh well there is a first for everything” “wait what? No Tom come on. Please” You backed away a little bit. “I can do whatever I want. You agreed” “shit shit shit”

“put ur hands up” “Tom please” you begged. “Fine ill do it myself” Tom grabbed your arms and cuffed your hands behind your back

“Tom. Sweetie. Baby. I’m begging you please don’t.” “wait here baby I’m just gonna restart the timer.” “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” “well thats what we are gonna do” “TOM!”

“I said call me sir. Now on your knees. Maybe if you behave I’ll go easy on you.” “yes sir” you kneeled “good girl” Tom started unbuckling his belt. This was really happening. He pulled off his jeans. “I think I’m gonna use this” he said holding the vibrator. Then without warning he pulled off your panties to reveal your soaked core and slid it in. Then he turned on his phone. “So I did some research on… the thing. And apparently it works though an app on the phone. Wanna see?” “No. Its ok sir. I think I get the idea” you pleaded “No. Baby I think we should try it out.” “Sir. Please.” You tried to beg, but Tom was gonna do this. You suddenly felt the vibrations. It felt so good. “sh-shit”. You felt your body trembling. Then it stopped “Hows it feel baby” “Sir. I can’t handle it please. I’ll do anything.” “oh you will do everything. Everything I say.” “yes sir” “good” he adjusted himself so you were facing his bulge. Then he took off his boxers to reveal his hard on. “i think you know what to do baby.” “yes sir” You were really gonna do this. You hoped what you learned from reading smut was enough. You started by licking from the bottom to the top of his shaft. “shit” he mumbled and threw his head back. You continued by licking his tip, which was already shiny because of the pre-cum. You put it in you mouth and you felt Tom’s hand grab your head. He pushed you to take all of him. You had NO idea how but you managed to take in all of him. This continued for a few minutes. Then Tom said “thats enough baby. I think you deserve a reward.” Tom removed the handcuffs, only to handcuff you again but this time to the headboard. “I think I should get a towel because you are dripping.” He put a towel under you and then you felt the ohmibod start up again. “oh fuck” you mumbled “baby you think you can handle the highest intensity?” “No sir” “won’t hurt to try” “No. To- Sir. Please!” It started to vibrate so hard you couldn’t control yourself. You needed to get it out of you. You couldn’t even yell out words anymore. Only stammers. You felt your climax after only six minutes of using it. “I-m go-n-na c-cu-m” you managed to let out. Then suddenly you felt the ohmibod stop. You couldn’t tell if it was relief or disappointment that washed over you. Then Tom pulled it out of you. “Oh baby. That was a warm up.” “what?” You looked at him and saw that he had put on a condom while you were… well, u get it. “im gonna fuck you now.” and Tom opened up your legs. He moved closer and you felt Tom’s tip at the entrance of your core. “ready sugar?” “yes sir.” With that Tom slid inside you. He didn’t hold back. He stretched your insides. “Oh baby you are so tight.” He was thrusting in and out of you. The room was a buzz of moans and the sound of his skin slapping against yours. After just a few moments you felt your climax. As if he was reading you mind Tom said “Don’t cum until I say so” “Tom-” Tom slapped your ass. Hard. “Its Sir” He said firmly. “Sir. I- I’m gon-na cum” you said. And again Tom slapped you. “Not until I say so. Or ill punish you.” “Sir please” you begged. You couldn’t hold it much longer. “No.” Then Tom began thrusting into me harder and faster. “please” you said weakly. “No.” He replied. You managed to control myself for a little longer, but after another minute you couldn’t hold it anymore. A wave of relief washed over you. “I said no.” he looked angry. Like really angry. “Why don’t you listen?” He questioned. “I’m sorry I couldn’t” you replied. “bad girl” he said. Then he removed himself from inside of me. “turn around.” He instructed. You lied on your stomach. He put his hands on either side of your hips and pulled your ass up. Then he repositioned himself at your entrance. Then without warning he thrusted into you. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk tomorrow.” He claimed and you believed he was serious. “such a bad girl” he said. Tom continued ramming himself into me.

“Ugh im gonna cum.” He grunted, and pulled himself out of you. Then he quickly spun you around, so you were lying on your back. Then he removed the condom. “on you” he added. Then he released his entire load on your bare body. You were covered in cum. He lied beside you for a while. Then, he said “time to clean up baby”. He removed your handcuffs. “lets shower” he said. “Hon. I need a minute” Your core ached. Tom chucked darkly. “ok baby” then he kissed your lips. “are you ok?” He asked, with actual concern in his eyes. “yah. Just. You. Damn.” You replied. You couldn’t think of words to describe it. “Liked it?” He asked smugly “loved.” You assured “me to” he said with a soft laugh. “Tom seriously I can’t walk right now” “I’ll just carry you to the bath” “Tom I don’t think you can carry me” “are you doubting me?” He asked, with a fake offended look on his face. “Whatever Tom” “Here” he said. Then he picked you up bridal style. “TOM IF YOU DROP ME I SWEAR” You yelled.

“Don’t worry sugar” he said reassuringly. Tom brought you to the bathtub and gently put you down. Then he started the water. You were just staring at him, thinking about what just happened. “something wrong sugar?” He asked “its just” you stopped

“Yes?” “I can’t believe you made me call you sir.” Then Tom broke into a fit of laughter, causing  you to giggle. “are you serious?” He asked still laughing. “I just can’t” you said “I thought you were gonna say something about me fucking you” “please! Tom this isn’t the first time we had sex” “yah. BUT this was different.” “yah. You made me call you Sir” “Next time I’ll make you call me master” “EW EW EW. THE CRINGE” “or emperor” “What??” I yelled out “Emperor Tom. I like the sound of that” “shut up Tom” “You shut up I know you liked it” “what ever” “You did” You rolled your eyes. You kinda did, but he couldn’t know that. “nope” you replied popping the ‘p’ “yah? Then why are you currently covered in my cum?” “ok first of all fUck you. Second of all those 2 things have nothing to do with each other.” “whatever lets just clean you up.” He rolled his eyes “you should clean up too” you replied “I will, sugar. After you” The water had filled up a third of the tub. Tom got your loofa and started cleaning you up. “I can do it myself you know baby” you told him. “I know, but I wanna do it.” He replied. “ok hon”

Tom finished cleaning you up, and left to shower himself. You shampooed your hair and got out of the tub. You still felt a little shaky but other than that you were ok. You changed back into your clothes. When you returned to his bedroom it was a mess, specifically his bed. You weren’t gonna let the maid clean this, let alone see it. You grabbed the towel, which was actually ‘soaked’ and threw it in the tub. Then you removed the bed sheets and also threw them in the tub. You got a new set of sheets from the closet and put them on. You had just finished fixing the bed when Tom walked in, his hair was wet and he was shirtless in a pare of jeans. “baby” he said to call your attention.

“yes” you replied “you’re staring” he said smugly. “shut up. You stare too” “thats cause” he walked behind you and whispered “you’re so sexy” in your ear.

You turned around and eyed him from top to bottom. “not so bad you’re self” you replied. “what do you wanna do now?” He asked “First I gotta put the sheets into the washing machine” “ok” “then I think I’ll can make us something to eat. Then we eat and finish the movie.”  “good plan”

END

[callisofcamelot]

sunlight through broken glass

pairing: hort x beatrix

setting: modern au, canada, uhhhhh they’re like in their twenties??? (this isn’t even a setting but you get it)

notes: im not dead!! *insert surprised pikachu face* this also isn’t edited at all, it’s a hot mess but please enjoy.

word count: 1342

part 1/??? (ooooo me making a new series i’ll never finish)

*****

It’s not that much a surprise, and it’s not even bad.

When she looks through the mail and finds it. Beatrix doesn't have to open it to know it's the divorce papers. Chaddick had moved out months ago, leaving their too big home to herself (which was right in the mountains, and Beatrix hated mountains. But if he knew things like that maybe they wouldn't be here in the first place). The home was okay. . . but the smell.

God.

It was horrible.

Everything smelled like him. His favorite cologne was embedded in the walls and even gallons of bleach and millions of Bath and Body Works candles couldn't get rid of it. Beatrix can’t stand it and it hurts so much, and she's a big girl and big girls don't cry but nowadays all she does is cry.

She texts Millie and Reena, and they both tell her they'll be there in a few seconds.

But it's not even that bad, she tells herself. It's not like the time Tedros basically led her on for years and then broke it in a single second.

So here's the inciting incident. She's fifteen and has shelves filled with romance novels and watches One Tree Hill and Gilmore Girls religiously and doodles her crushes names on her binder and she's just fifteen.

Tedros was supposed to be her soulmate. It just made sense to her. Their parents were friends and they’ve known each other forever and childhood friends always fall in love. Right?

She stands in her mother's heels that she stole and a dress that cost far too much just for a dance. Beatrix knows she's beautiful, she's always known she's beautiful, but at this moment she doesn't feel like it, because what is beauty if no ones there to admire it?

It's nothing, she realises an hour into the night.

The punch in her hands is cool but so is her heart, so maybe that's a good thing. She is fifteen and has never really felt this feeling before, she has never felt the sight of Tedros dancing with Agatha, Tedros laughing with Agatha, Tedros looking at Agatha like that, she has never felt this kind of . . . betrayal.

Beatrix feels the knife in her heart, a merciless cold blade that seems to leave a gaping hole in her chest. She is bleeding out while drinking Hawaiian Punch, and perhaps that isn't the worst way to die, but at this moment it sure feels like it. Tears prick her eyes, and she hopes she will turn invisible because at this moment Beatrix isn't the most beautiful girl in the room, she's the most heartbroken.

People can see it because people always see the things you don't want them too.

"Bee," a voice says carefully, a hand slowly being stuck out in front of her. "Do you wanna dance."

She turns her head to Chaddick. Chaddick who has always teased her and never really cared for her, with this crooked smile and messy amber hair and his eyes that are the ocean during a storm. Yet at this moment he looks small and awkward, and very much a teenage boy filled with too many emotions and not enough words.

She gives him her hand. "Okay."

That's the start of them, and you see she hears years later about what would've happened if she'd have said no to him, but that's a story for another time.

-

Millie makes her a cake because that's what she does.

It's a chocolate cake, and it tastes so fucking good, and Beatrix doesn't care it'll take her hours of pilates to work off the calories, because this makes her feel good.

God knows that she deserves to indulge at least a bit.

"Did you know twenty-eight is the prime age of women," Millie says, while they all sit on the couch drinking some hundred dollar wine she got for an anniversary. "You’re super fertile and attractive and funny and smart and like look at your body man, it's bangin'."

It makes her cry, and the fact she's on her period makes her hormones go crazy. "Then, god, why'd he leave."

"He was pretty dumb," Millie mumbles.

"I know," she says. "But he tried, he made me laugh, sometimes made smoothies, and treated me so nicely, and well, his abs were really nice."

Reena rubs her arm. "It's gonna be ok. We'll get through this, we always do." She believes Reena, not only because she's really smart and is married and has kids, but also because Reena is her best friend. "What're you in the mood for Bee," she asks, she flips through movies, thousands of them from her and Chaddicks daily movie nights. It's a collection of them from the past five years, like a mixtape of them living together. "I'm kinda leaning on something Disney."

Her eyes pick something in the sea of thousands, it's a movie that wasn't apart of the mixtape, it's apart of something completely different.

"Put on, The Fantastic Mr. Fox."

-

Beatrix is nineteen, and she's freshly single, and very much ready to mingle.

Her and Chaddick’s long distant relationship ends, and for some strange reason, she isn't upset. But of course she doesn't tell anyone, because that would make her a horrible person, and for some reason, though popularity was left in high school she still puts far too much effort in putting up appearances.

Going into university, Beatrix is alone for the first time. It's her fault for choosing one where none of her friends are going, but for some strange reason, she doesn't mind. She's been surrounded by people her whole life, but now she's free, and it feels good, well until it doesn't.

It's a Friday night and instead of partying she's in the library studying, and it sounds sad and terrible and it is but she's not even that upset.

Ok, that's a lie.

She's a tiny bit upset.

But doesn't try to tell anyone that.

(Even if she wanted to she couldn’t because Reena and Millie are building schools in Asia, and they have no service for the next two weeks)

She stares at her textbook, Policy In The New Age, trying to get all the knowledge to somehow magically go into her brain (it hasn't worked for the last 20 minutes but who knows, maybe that'll change).

"Beatrix," a voice suddenly says to her out of nowhere, she turns her head and is greeted by two long legs and she has to look up and god it's Hort, but it's not him at all. He's so tall, and tan, and almost muscular in some areas, yet still gangly, and his smile is the same because she recognizes those dimples, and god he got hot. "Haven't seen you in such a long time."

Her mouth has forgotten to talk because human interaction has become rare for her, and she feels so dumb, but all she can do is stare at him.

He frowns. "Something wrong?"

Then her brain finally starts to work. "No," she croaks out. "I'm just tired and very bored."

"That's great," he says, and lord she regrets thinking he was hot this is-- "Oh, fuck, that's not actually great it's just I'm very tired and bored too, so . . . like, I don't know, but would you-well, like to go to this new Chinese place around the block."

She has to blink a few times before she can comprehend what he just said, and then, she smiles. "Yes please, anything than this."

He smiles and it's familiar and comforting, and she likes it.

(Hort tells her while they're walking to the restaurant about a film that includes foxes. He tells her it's his favorite movie in the whole world when she says she's never watched it, he seems appalled and invites her over to his dorm to watch it. That where it starts, the movie that is them.)

-

Beatrix is drunk by eight.

(She also has always believed alcohol makes her spontaneous, not dumb. So that's why she emails him.)

Hey Hort!!

What's up.

From Beatrix.

(Her email writing skills have never been good, she doesn't wanna talk about it.)

[marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer]

MTVS Epic Rewatch #208

Don’t forget to vote on the season 7 polls!!

BTVS 7x21 End of Days

Stray thoughts

1) So this is how Faith is doing as the leader…

…and this is how Buffy is doing as the outcast Slayer…

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I wonder who’s the boss… (maybe we should ask Abed.)

2) I don’t like seeing Faith hurt, but I do get a very sick (I admit it) satisfaction at seeing all these girls hurt and scared because they kicked Buffy out and they screwed everything up in the worst possible fashion. I know that by having Faith lead them into yet another trap the writers were trying to prove the point that what happened at the vineyard could’ve happened to anyone and that it wasn’t Buffy’s fault (Buffy will make this same point herself later on the episode.) Both Buffy and Faith were trying to do what they thought was best, yet it backfired. Shit happens yada yada yada. Yet I just can’t help but feel personally vindicated when I see Faith and the potentials fuck everything up so spectacularly.

On the other hand, not only was Buffy able to pull herself together after the group (and her friends! Her family!) kicked her out and made her feel like the worst piece of shit in the whole world, but she also managed to A) get the scythe and B) make Caleb nervous, which was a first. So yeah. #teamBuffy

3) So why exactly were the Scoobies looking for Buffy? I mean, didn’t they kick her out literally the day before? And now they’re suddenly worried about her or something? The only person who followed Buffy after they all kicked her out was Faith. Faith! Do you see how wrong/ironic that this? Do you see how painful it must’ve been for Buffy not to have NONE OF HER FRIENDS – not Xander, not Willow, not Giles, not even her own sister! – go after her to see if she was okay? To ask her where she was going or what she was going to do? The only person who showed any concern whatsoever about her was probably the only person she would’ve labeled a potential enemy. 

Damn you all, I’m still pissed off. I hate this. I hate having to feel this way about the characters I’ve loved for seven seasons in the FINAL EPISODES OF THE SHOW. It just feels so wrong, but I can’t help but HATE THEM. What the hell was this fucking writing choice? I hate it. I hate everything about it.

4) If I have to say something in favor of Kennedy is this, when shit hit the fan, she was the only one who wasn’t screaming like a moron and who was actually trying to fight off the Turok-Han. So yeah. The girl got spunk.

5) But she’s nothing compared to our designated BAMF.

6) No one is kicking Buffy out now, HUH? HUH???????????????????

7)

Yes. Yes, you did.

8) And this is exactly why they shouldn’t have kicked her out or “rebelled” against her or whatever the fuck they thought they were doing.

BUFFY You guys, it was a trap. It's not her fault. That could've just as easily happened to me.

9) While I do appreciate the pun and the side glances between Buffy and Willow…

I still feel it’s very wrong they’re all just talking and Giles is playing around with the scythe as if the last time they’d been together they HADN’T HUMILIATED BUFFY AND KICKED HER OUT OF HER OWN FUCKING HOUSE???? LIKE SERIOUSLY??? In Willow’s own words, you're not gonna jokey-rhyme your way out of this one.

Like, I know the apocalypse takes precedence, but maybe say “sorry for kicking you out” and “thank you for saving us AGAIN”.

10)

11) Again, I get the same feeling with Xander. Like, did they all suddenly forget they had left Buffy alone and kicked her out of her own house? Xander is all like, “I don’t need you to protect me just because I lost an eye” but literally a day before he was telling her it was HER fault he’d lost it, and using that as a justification not only for removing her from her role as a leader but also TO KICK HER OUT OF HER OWN HOUSE. And now it’s just like nothing ever happened? How is that possible? How is literally no one apologizing to Buffy? And not only is he not apologizing, but Buffy is telling him that he’s her heart and the reason she’s still alive, which okay, it’s all kind of true, but he’s also the guy WHO BLAMED YOU FOR LOSING HIS EYE AND WHO KICKED YOU OUT OF YOUR OWN HOUSE THE DAY BEFORE?!

I didn’t know that End of Days could make me as angry as Empty Places but here I am.

We’re 14 minutes into the episode and still, no one has apologized to Buffy and they’re all pretending like they didn’t turn their backs on her and it’s pissing me off. I hate feeling this way in the episode prior to the series finale. This is not how a fan should be feeling right before the show ends!

12) Not only do I know what a glottal stop is but I’ve also learned how to pronounce it. Or at least I was able to pronounce it a few years ago. 

13) And hence the fate of Miss Kitty Fantastico was finally revealed…

DAWN Xander, my crossbow is not out here. I told you, I don't leave crossbows around all willy-nilly. Not since that time with Miss Kitty Fantastico.

If you must hate Dawn, it should only be for this.

14) Did anyone really believe Xander would hurt Dawn?

15) What was the point of this scene…?

…I mean, other than to give us Nathan Fillion’s orgasm face?

16) And this is the difference between Buffy and the rest… just remember how everyone reacted and treated Buffy after the vineyard, and see how she acts here after literally the same happened with Faith in charge…

FAITH What do you want me to say? I blew it.

BUFFY You didn't blow it.

FAITH Tell that to—

BUFFY People die. You lead them into battle, they're gonna die. It doesn't matter how ready you are or how smart you are. War is about death. Needless, stupid death.

She’s understanding and reassuring, she’s not pointing fingers or kicking people out. And that’s why she’s a hero and the rest are a fucking bunch of morons. I’m sorry, I’m still so angry about Empty Places and this episode is not making things any better.

17) But I do love when my two slayers see eye to eye…

FAITH So, here's the laugh riot. My whole life I've been a loner.(…) No ties, no buddies, no relationships that lasted longer than... (…) Me, by myself all the time. I'm looking at you, everything you have, and, I don't know, jealous. Then there I am. Everybody's looking to me, trusting me to lead them, and I've never felt so alone in my entire life.

BUFFY Yeah.

FAITH And that's you every day, isn't it?

BUFFY I love my friends. I'm very grateful for them. But that's the price. Being a slayer.

FAITH There's only supposed to be one. Maybe that's why you and I can never get along. We're not supposed to exist together.

BUFFY Also, you went evil and were killing people.

FAITH Good point. Also a factor.

BUFFY But you're right. I mean, I... I guess everyone's alone. But being a slayer? There's a burden we can't share.

FAITH And no one else can feel it. Thank God we're hot chicks with superpowers.

BUFFY Takes the edge off.

FAITH Comforting.

BUFFY Mm-hmm.

This is something that had been a long time coming. Since day one, Faith had envied Buffy. Just like Buffy saw in Faith her road not taken, Faith saw in Buffy the life she could’ve had but didn’t. She envied it and she wanted it for herself. She literally tried to steal it away several times. So if she couldn’t have it, if it wasn’t meant for her, then she could take Buffy away from it, drive her to the dark side, where she lived. Every attempt was futile, even stealing Buffy’s body and literally taking her life. It only made her feel more undeserving, more inadequate, more unworthy. But every time she’d taken a shot at being the leader, it was by playing tricks, by taking what it wasn’t rightfully hers. This time around, she had somehow earned it. There was no foul play on her part. Others made the decision for her and gave her the role she’d craved for so long. And she finally understood that it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Yes, Buffy did have friends and people who looked up to her and cared about her. But when push comes to shove, when tough calls must be made, the Slayer is always alone. The weight of the world is only on her shoulders, and she can’t share the burden. It took four seasons but Faith finally got it. And she could finally let go of all the envy and jealousy.

18) I just love the fact that for the first time Buffy is the one who opens up to Spike. She’s always been the one who pretends there’s nothing between them and who skirts around her feelings and dismisses his. But not this time. And for me, it was enough that she acknowledged that it meant something, even if they – and we – don’t know exactly what that was.

BUFFY You're a dope.

SPIKE I'm a what?

BUFFY You're a dope. And a bonehead. And you're shirty.

SPIKE Have you gone completely carrot-top?

BUFFY Do you see this? This may actually help me fight my war. This might be the key to everything. And the reason I'm holding it is because of you. Because of the strength that you gave me last night. Look, I am tired of defensiveness and weird, mixed signals. You know, I have Faith for that. Let's just get to the truth here, OK? I don't know how you felt about last night, but I will not—

SPIKE Terrified.

BUFFY Of what?

SPIKE Last night was... God, I'm such a jerk. I can't do this.

BUFFY Spike...

SPIKE It was the best night of my life. If you poke fun at me, you bloody well better use that, 'cause I couldn't bear it. It may not mean that much to you, but—

BUFFY I just told you it did.

SPIKE Yeah... I hear you say it, but... I've lived for soddin' ever, Buffy. I've done everything. Done things with you I can't spell, but... I've never... been close... to anyone. Least of all, you. 'Til last night. All I did was... hold you, watch you sleep. And it was the best night of my life. So, yeah... I'm... terrified.

BUFFY You don't have to be.

SPIKE Were you there with me?

BUFFY I was.

SPIKE What does that mean?

BUFFY I don't know. Does it have to mean something?

SPIKE No. Not right now.

19) Update: 29 minutes in and I’m still waiting for someone to apologize to Buffy.

20) Am I the only who thinks this speech is okay but like, the writers were trying too hard to give Anya her “Anya Speech Moment” of the season and it kind of feels a bit, I don’t know, forced?

ANYA Well...I guess I was...kinda new to bein' around humans before. But now I've... seen a lot more, gotten to know people... seen what they're capable of, and... I guess I just realized...how amazingly screwed-up they all are. I mean really, really screwed-up in a monumental fashion. And they have no purpose that unites them, so they just drift around, blundering through life until they die...which they...they know is coming, yet every single one of them is surprised when it happens to them. They're incapable of thinking about what they want beyond the moment. They kill each other, which is clearly insane. And yet, here's the thing. When it's something that really matters, they fight. I mean, they're lame morons for fighting, but they do. They never... never quit. So I guess I will keep fighting, too.

21) #priorities

22) And in another episode of Plots Totally Pulled Out of the Writer’s Ass… (a.k.a. Joss Whedon Tries to Rectify the Fact that He Wrote a Bunch of Men Violating the Original Slayer by Putting a Demon Inside of Her and Thus Utterly Destroyed the Whole Slayerness Equals Feminism Theme)

WOMAN We forged it in secrecy and kept it hidden from the Shadow Men, who...

BUFFY Yeah. Met those guys. Didn't really care too much for 'em.

WOMAN Ahh, yes. Then you know. And they became the watchers. And the watchers watched the slayers. But we were watching them.

BUFFY Oh! So you're like... what are you?

WOMAN Guardians. Women who want to help and protect you. We forged this centuries ago, halfway around the world.

Okay, I get it, I get what you were trying to do, but it was so fucking obvious, it was so transparent. Like, I know most of the so-called metaphors in this show were not so subtle (think the fucking monster-penis in Doublemeat Palace, for instance.) But the feminist struggle in the slayer vs the council struggle was always something that I personally enjoyed. And this is how Joss’s brand of “feminism” began to crumble down, in my opinion. This is what a white dude who is a self-proclaimed feminist believes to be a Good feminist storyline, but it’s so clichéd and self-evident it's almost cringe-worthy. Like, you get a bunch of Evil Men quite literally raping a Poor Woman, who is faked Empowered (her powers were lent to her by the Evil Men and the source of her powers is Evil, Demonic in nature because  duh! she is a Woman)  so that they can Manipulate her and Use her for the benefit of the Patriarchy. But oh wait! This is a Feminist Show! So in spite of what the Evil Men who were supposedly the Powerful ones did, there always were These Great and Powerful Women behind it all, the True Guardians of the Slayer, This has been a Matriarchy all along, you see?! PLOT TWIST!

Yawn.

The worst part? I can imagine all the writers patting themselves on the back for writing such a groundbreaking and Feminist storyline and for sticking it to the Men.

23) And btw, just to show you how big a Feminist Show this is, we get this…

I guess since this is a Feminist Show and Angel is the hero here and Buffy the damsel in distress, that makes Angel a woman, right?

But hey, at least he (or she?) literally let Buffy deliver the lethal blow…

24) And yes, this totally makes sense!

because Angel has not claimed to be in love with Cordelia and Buffy has not just had her more honest heart-toheart with Spike. Let’s just disregard whatever arcs have been developed in both shows in order to deliver a Ship Moment for the Bangel fans, right? Who cares about character development, right? Because I’m positive this is what former lovers do after not seeing each other in over a year, being currently emotionally unavailable, and facing the greatest evil of all. Suck face.

25) Update: minute 42 and I’m STILL waiting for someone to apologize to Buffy.

26) Sorry for the bitter rant! 

27)  If you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!

[leamen]

Reassurance

my friend met a friendly homeless guy the other night who showed him a community shelter and the idiot gives him acid as thanks even though the homeless guy was already clearly on other drugs and at the shelter the homeless guy blacked out and they kicked my friend out well they told him to come back a few hours later but my friend just ran away scared today a group of homeless guys went up to him at the park and said "well look who decided to show his face" he ran away he's been hearing things all day and a couple hours ago he told me he was hearing people talking about him as the killer bc he thinks he killed the homeless guy i really don't know if he's delusional or if something really really bad happened but he can't spend another night on the streets it's cold in montreal now i booked him a hotel room in the city and told him to rest up and we'll figure something out tomorrow and this fucking guy sends me a dick pic as a joke saying it was a selfie i'm sure he's just exhausted and delirious but i'm kind of upset he better be embarrased and apologize tomorrow morning i spent 300 dollars on his hotel bc he's in downtown i was so worried

lol he seems a funny guy the best he can do rn is get some good rest n food n water in him. hopefully getting his basic needs fulfilled will get the voices away how’d u two meet

we haven't met yet but i've known him on discord for a couple years he moved to montreal from alberta on my insistence he was depressed and his life was going nowhere and i felt the same living in new york until i moved to toronto i really opened up there and i thought him moving to montreal would be the same for him

did it end up worse?

but he ran out from his job last month yea couldn't pay rent and now he's homeless

wdym he ran out

he had a panic attack and stopped showing up

what was his job

at a restaurant i feel like an idiot when i moved to toronto i had at least a couple friends there and my mom knew people there i lived on couches my first month there and my friends helped me a lot but this guy went in totally alone i really should have known i feel really bad that's why i'm moving to montreal next month to help get him out of the mess i sent him in he thinks i'm being a good friend right now but fuck i'm really an idiot

so ur just gonna throw away everything u have in toronto?

i already did over a year ago when i lost my job in toronto and had to come back to new york at the start of the pandemic i lost all my friends way of life a lot of things important to me

cuz of the pandemic?

the pandemic

ah

i met a girl i loved very much and i watched our relationship crumble and turn bitter over the course of a year we should have broke up when i left i thought going back to school would help fill me with purpose but i just crumbled in school too and now i'm taking another gap year im just fucking everything up

no ur not. ur putting in as much effort as u can in one shitty situation after another whatever the outcome is, ur heart is in the right place eventually things will straighten out. there’s no changing the past, but u seem to have a lot of options ahead of u. u just gotta play ur hands right i’m glad u found sweetness when u did. it changed my life n i hope it’ll change urs

i dont know where my heart is i haven't been myself in over a year

from what i can tell ur an amazing person

u kno when someone u know is just out of it one day and not being themselves it's been like that for a really long time for me

i definitely know what ur talking ab the haze

i don't know who i am anymore i'm not good with words right now but i don't want to be who i used to be that version of me is too far away but i don't know who to become i can't describe it properly right now im just blabbering at this point im glad my friend didn't get mugged or arrested or worse i had a discord b4 but i tried to disconnect myself from anything to face my fear and to be totally alone but im back so i failed

u didn’t fail

the ppl in sweetness are nice

i tried that too n when i returned i was ashamed then i realized i had to accept those ppl into my life. i had to let them let me connect ya know ya know i haven’t known who i am for a long time as well. what helps me is getting into art, in whatever medium it may be. i personally chose conversation as my art form, hence the dream conversations in my story. just having a conversation whether it be with real ppl or made up ones that i write up helped me think ab myself i’m terrible at introspection and my own identity so i literally just ask ppl to describe me or what what they think of me lol ppl r always ready connect

i used to be the opposite i don't know myself anymore and im not really paying attention but i used to be so aware of my own state and attuned to subtleties i used to be really upbeat and happy go lucky but it's been so long since i've felt naturally like that i'm not sure if it's true for me to say that's the real me anymore maybe who i am now is the real me

i learned a long time ago that there’s no such thing as a “real me” the you before was the real u n the you now is also the real you. you are always you, it’s just that ppl change

what about personas and masks

ur going through a rough arc rn, but that doesn’t mean that it’s u forever

to me the true self is the one with nothing to hide you wrote about it in your story how you change a bit of yourself to everyone a different you tailored to different people but the most unchanged version of you i thought that was true self it's hard because i'm in a rough arc now but it's not the first time ive beat depression before and won but it feels like cancer it feels like remission is way harder to beat and it hurts the most to see your progress crumble and you go back to right where you started

definitely, but the fact that ur talking to me rn means that u haven’t been beaten yet letting it out to someone definitely helps a ton

[a different you tailored to different people] i believe those r all just different parts of one you

i wonder

because ppl can’t be one thing all the time. ppl r too complex for that it’s the ability to adapt and change that makes us human. knowing that things will always end up changing for u can be scary but it can also be comforting there’s always room for a new or a more

thanks for reminding me i already know this deep down inside but it's very deep down and i don't feel it there's a lot down there i'm not ready to face yet

as long as u know it’s down there n as long as you’ll get to it eventually, it’s ok to take ur time

i cant be taking my time not when i have so much time to make up for agh

just make sure ur not pushing urself too hard

sorry i think im just being difficult thank u i at least needed someone to talk to about what happened tn

no definitely not i very much enjoyed this conversation feel free to talk to me any time !

u as well