#i am finally losing my mind

[syrren]

At least docm’s inevitable merciless rampage will serve as excellent Scarland promotional material 😌

[flipomatic]

[wasyago]

first time watching/drawing stacy, she's very cool

[dadrielle]

i'm too sleepy to finish tonight but I'm proud of how Drawing The Whole Scene TM is going so far so

[spiralsublime]

what's up, im still spiralling during this rewatch and i have been considering how miss loathing and the house of wayward interests is INSANE.

what makes these children different? these aren't the grown distractions that the fix has to handle, these are beings that the fix cares about. liking magic, reptiles, the bass, all of these are hobbies or things that elias has likely Hyperfixated on.

(also do we think that Fix and Lance are related like Self Loathing and Self Doubt their first name is their family name?)

ANYWAY, when the fix said that there is a lot of life left, that these kids can be chosen. self loathing implies that he would be the one to adopt them. but that makes Sense. the fix is a concept that doesn't consider himself powerful outside of a physical sense but he, like A. Tension, is a representation of what the Big Guy cares about. And the fix is currently owned basically by Bition.

But even he gets distracted. He goes to Miss Loathing's and he sees these kids just like Elias has solid his soul to the company but still knows all these animal facts.

These kids aren't just in the city either. They are actively watched by Self-Loathing. Every kid that the Fix sees is also shadowed by Loathing, Elias hates himself when he loses focuses. When he goes down those paths, thinking about reptiles or has fun with a deck of cards, or even listens to a sick bassline.

But this also shows a change for Conrad. Conrad lived in Miss Loathing's home for a while. He, like all the other kids, were shadowed by Self-Loathing within Elias. UNTIL, he met and adopted JUSTIFICATION. Then he became a super weak voice in the back of his head. Just a bit more awareness still buried under Nothing, until one random impulse followed by an air of curiosity suddenly set everything off.

And Bition made his own downfall or saving grace by sending the Fix to Conrad. Miss Loathing said it, focusing on her only makes her stronger. Focusing on your conscience? You suddenly can't stop thinking about it. Makes it louder, bolder. God I love this season.

[doodleodds]

Me? Uploading a Halloween comic on November 18th, almost four whole-ass weeks late???? Yeah that’s uh. yup. yeah

Thanks for reading! :) <3

[fromtheseventhhell]

"I have no sister." The words were knives. What do you know of my heart, priestess? What do you know of my sister? | Jon VI

--metaphorical knives at feigning neutrality regarding his sister

Jon fell to his knees. He found the dagger's hilt and wrenched it free. In the cold night air the wound was smoking. "Ghost," he whispered. Pain washed over him. Stick them with the pointy end. When the third dagger took him between the shoulder blades, he gave a grunt and fell face-first into the snow. He never felt the fourth knife. Only the cold... | Jon XIII

--literal knives from breaking that neutrality to save her

[actual-changeling]

hi. hey. it's been a hot second since my last meta post but ohhhh did i realize something while making my edits. ready? i wasn't. there's gonna be a number of screencaps so let's go

i think everyone *noticed* while watching but didn't really mentally elaborate on it because i at least was already too busy sobbing. now, during the entire confession scene, crowley is attempting to make eye contact while aziraphale does his best to avoid it.

wanna take a guess when that changes? the second he steps closer and says nothing lasts forever. suddenly crowley is the one looking away, he can no longer stand to look into his eyes because his heart just got broken into a million little pieces and he loves zira so fucking much.

aziraphale is staring straight ahead and crowley looks past him, looks out the window, up, everywhere but at him. he ends up looking down and at the glasses in his hands and guess what.

aziraphale? aziraphale FOLLOWS his eyes. FOLLOWS. look at how he moves his head to keep meeting crowley's gaze. the head tilt.

i quite literally could not decide which screencaps to use so have all of them.

what really gets me though, and this might just be me being a little bit insane and very gay, but i swear aziraphale glances at his lips. it is literally one frame but it is THERE. look!!

his eyes flick DOWN. just for a second but they move from crowley's eyes, where they have been for the last half a minute, to his mouth. and when crowley says good luck and walks past him? he STILL follows him. turns his entire head and body with him even while he is trying to catch up with what crowley is really saying.

alex, you may ask, why does this matter? because it is the other way around now, they switch roles, because crowley kept eye contact during his confession and this is aziraphale's confession.

this is HIM saying run away with me, let's go off together, let's be an us in heaven. he tries to soak up literally every single heartbeat of being able to look into crowley's eyes without any barrier between them. this is him trying. he literally moves with him just to keep looking at his pretty yellow eyes, the eyes he has come to get to know so so well over the last few years. the eyes that have been uncovered, his face bare, presumably every single time crowley was in the bookshop.

crowley hears "nothing lasts forever" and takes it as rejection.

aziraphale says "nothing lasts forever" and looks at the one thing, the one person, that IS forever to him - crowley. he cannot say the words and lets his eyes speak for him yet crowley has already closed himself off.

(side note: call me delusional which i am clinically psychotic and all but if crowley had not put on his glasses? had stayed just a bit longer? said the nightingale bit right then and there? fuck me, but i think aziraphale would have kissed him first)

aziraphale loves humanity, loves the world, but crowley is HIS world, he sees all of his creations, all his nebulas and stars, in his eyes and tries to find the joy in them that he once saw before the beginning of time.

[lurkingshan]

HOLY SHIT CHERRY MAGIC THAILAND YOU WIN

[tonguetiedraven]

[tinycowboybro]

y’all Big is fine he literally told me himself 🙄🤚

idk what this is ngl i just saw a picture of Han Jisung wearing a scarf and went ok but what if it was Big in hiding after getting shot (delusional)

[andoutofharm]

just one yesterday

[bluebunnyvk]

The cast of 23.5 degrees 🌎☀️

[spaceratprodigy]

✨🤠 It's Teddy and Zinnie Besties Hours!! 🐮✨

@oldworldwidgets — felt like we deserved something quick and silly today <3

Commission Info | Ko-Fi | My Links

[runefactorynonsense]

Happy Year of the Dragon!!

[saltpepperbeard]

Just throwing another spanner into the angst machine because I love your long pots lol.

Do you think Stede doesn't open up to Ed about his traumas because he probably thinks Ed wouldn't love him anymore if he did??

oh, why thank you, darling anon! that's so very sweet of you. but also-

hhhHHHHNGKDFGLJKLFGHDJKLFD. PAIN. PAIN AND SUFFERING LMAO. 🎵EASY LIKE SUNDAY MORNNNING🎵 IS NO LONGER ACCURATE I GUESS.

*laying face down on the ground for the Umpteenth Time* but sure yeah anon let's boogie-

I think that's definitely part of the equation, yes. But I also think a large part of it is the fact that he's basically been conditioned to hide his vulnerability away from a very young age. When he was a child, he was mocked relentlessly for being softer or showing his emotions in a way that was unacceptable/unconventional from a masculinity standpoint. He was even slapped with the nickname "Baby Bonnet" for said vulnerability.

Not only that, but his own father disapproved of his softness too. Calling him "lily-livered" is calling him weak and cowardly. And he had it drilled into his skull that that's "all he would ever be," and that it was a bad thing to show any sort of soft underbelly.

And it didn't even end there! Those phantoms chase him all the way into adulthood. There are so many instances of people making digs at him for crying, or for being "weak," or for being "cowardly." Like lol lord; the pilot lays it all on super thick. He's just constantly surrounded by the narrative that opening up spells pain and suffering for him. There's no safety in opening up.

And so he hides away. Numerous times throughout the series, he isolates himself to cry. Numerous times throughout the series, he shoves his own problems down to address other issues first. He experiences so many situations where it would be more than appropriate for him to react with weepiness or anything equivalent, but he swallows it all down.

Not to mention, that he's very set on helping others. He puts other's needs before his own. And I think that's a classic sign of emotional neglect; giving others the treatment you wish you had gotten. ((...nOT THAT I'D KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT HSDKSHLK))

ALSO, I think that's why he has so many issues with self-worth and his own masculinity. It plays into why he flies off the handle in episode 6 into episode 7. He thinks he has to perform a certain kind of way. He thinks he's not worthy of respect or recognition unless he conforms to those societal standards. He thinks no one will regard him unless he's "strong," or "ruthless," or "hardened." Which, again, is why I think the way he acts in season 2 is very much in-character for him. Heartbreaking, and very difficult to stomach, but in-character all the same. It's not him. It's never been him. But he thinks it should be.

AND YES, it definitely plays into his relationship with Ed too, which makes me want to just start foaming at the mouth and biting at his ankles. Because like...he's so wrapped up in those painful expectations that he's totally blind to the fact that Ed loves him for who he actually is. Ed fell in love with the silly little guy who had so many trinkets, clothes, and books. Ed fell in love with silly little guy who was so different than all the other pirates around them. Ed fell in love with the silly little guy who read his crew bedtime stories, and went on treasure hunts, and swapped out books in raids as opposed to just outright stealing.

Ed loves his sweet, fantastic, simple goldfish. And Stede doesn't even see that yet.

Season 2 makes it very clear that Stede thinks he has to shove all of that down even around Ed. Like, the dream sequence in the first episode? He dreams of himself being masculine, hardened, and ruthless, killing in coldblood and subsequently "winning" Ed. Again, that's who he thinks he has to be, and that's who he thinks Ed wants. Why would Ed want someone who's softer and loves extravagance? Why would Ed want someone who picks flowers and stops to appreciate the simpler things? Why would Ed want someone who sobs about his past?

No one else does.