#i am kinda sad about them growing up not gonna lie

[randomblack-girl]

I knew this guy with Uranus conjunct Mars in the 8th house and "it" was huge 😟

Siren in the 6th house have nice bodies

I feel like Jupiter in the first house wanna be thick so badly or they are but they usually have nice bodies

I might have already said this but chiron in the 6th house might have body insecurities or health issues the type to grow up fat then start eating healthy as they grow up or maybe they had bad skin and got into skincare

I hate to say it but it's true pisces placements do be lying especially ones related to the 3rd house/Mercury a friend of mine with Neptune in her first house admitted to lying for fun and an old friend of mine with Neptune in the 3rd house said she'd lie so people wouldn't know stuff about her (Scorpio rising) but I hate saying this because I have pisces/Neptune influence over my chart and I'm not a liar, but it is some of them.

There's definitely a connection between pisces/Neptune people and fishes, mermaids, etc my friend who has Neptune in the first house said she wants a little mermaid birthday party. They do look really good in a mermaid aesthetic, it's giving:

As a Scorpio rising I keep attracting Scorpio moons!!! And I love Gemini risings as a gemini moon and idk bout y'all but I get along better with people with similar placements to mine bc yk people be saying opposites attract...

What's y'all experience with Saturn in the 8th house men? Like what's going on down there? I'm curious 😭😭 I keep meeting guys with that placement I also don't know how to read this placement really, a lot of them seem kinda traumatized and closed off

People with Venus badly aspecting their asc usually think they're unattractive, it's sad

Ok so I have pisces Venus conjunct Uranus in a composite chart with this guy and we like each other but we live in different countries but he literally set the standard for my future bf 😭

On the list of hot voices is mars in the 2nd house. This guy ik has Capricorn mars in the second house and he sounds so smart and like a gentleman but hot at the same time. I also noticed he talks really slowly? Idk but I like it 😋. Sirene, Saturn, and Neptune also aspect his Mercury and neptune is in his 3rd house he has a pisces mercury too. I think pisces/neptune might make your voice nice, I have Neptune aspecting my Mercury and I've been told my voice is soothing. Ok I think Pluto makes a voice hot too because I'm noticing it's Venus, mars, and Neptune that keeps showing up in people's charts who have nice/attractive voices. Saturn can make them sound more mature and Jupiter can make them sound funny/be funny. Jupiter voices also sound deep and pisces/Neptune influence makes someone good with their words/poetic.

Idk if I'd say Scorpios look sexy/mysterious but I do try 😭😭 it's so hard though bc that's not who I am naturally I'm trying to just be myself though, I do notice I am just more reserved/quiet but that's when I'm not around friends or people I actually wanna talk to (Virgo 11th house) bc I don't really become friends with just anybody

I've noticed the connections I've had where the composite chart rising was Scorpio be deep/seem deep I love these relationships as a Scorpio/Pluto dom!!! I feel like we click and can talk about deep things like trauma easily

Idk the thing about tauruses and food is kinda right bc one thing about me...imma eat 😭 and I have a friend who's a Taurus moon who loves food

Let me tell you, having my Aphrodite and Lilith in Virgo and a pisces Venus the one thing I'm gonna do...is wear green, crystals, seashells, blue, etc ITS GONNA EAT EVERYTIME idc same with black but in terms of color? It's gonna be green, blue, and sometimes white (I'm still scared to wear white) but I love white too and omg don't get me started on grey and brown!!!! Or MATCHING SETS!? bye I want some juicy couture so bad!!! I love neutrals as much as I hate so say it bc it seems so basic but they're so easy to pair up and they look good together. But I'm trying to get into color and my favorites so far are green, orange, pink?, And blue also neutrals are easy because most likely it's gonna look good. Color can be complicated it's the same with patterns which is why I have a lot of basic tops now 😭.

Another thing I'm gonna do is wear tight clothes or crop tops 😋 and I honestly find it hard to not wear that or shirts that show cleavage now that I got a sewing machine I make everything a lil bit lower 💅🏾 and I love waist beads!! Emphasis on the stomach

And one time someone said "don't you think Tionna (me) looks good in comfy clothes" which is very interesting because taurus placements do look good in comfy clothes

Btw that picture came from Pinterest!

[jinxed-lemon]

I’ve seen a lot of peoples characterization about Future!Leo meeting Present!Leo and while I am a sucker for the whole “Future!Leo giving Present!Leo a hard time bc of angst” trope let me also present: F!Leo being kind and understanding to P!Leo:

However you wanna headcanon why F!Leo is suddenly back in the past, he somehow is and it’s after the the whole Krang situation has been dealt with and of course everyone is freaking out bc “oh god did something else bad happen that another time branch opened up just to warn us about something?”. Skip ahead and everyone is welcoming him in bc of course they would and we pan over to P!Leo and the kid is obviously freaking out and going through the 5 stages of grief.

He spends the next week absolutely avoiding future him- ducking corners, making excuses to be out of the lair, straight up just pretending that F!Leo isn’t there. Everyone is confused bc they thought ‘Leo would have LOVED to meet a cooler, older more experienced version of him from the future’ but apparently not. F!Leo is kinda fed up with it cause he really wanted to meet the younger version of him and ask about how they defeated the Krang so he finally corners him one day.

It’s totally awkward at first but F!Leo just sighs and decides that there’s no beating around the bush and directly asks P!Leo if there was a problem. He thinks that the younger version of him must hold some type of anger or animosity for how the future went- and he’s fully expecting to ease the tension if true but before he can continue P!Leo just starts sobbing his eyes out and F!Leo is standing there like 🧍 thinking ‘holy shit did I scare him??’.

P!Leo: I thought that you would hate me for what I did. I’m so sorry that I’m like this- I’ll be better, I swear.”

F!Leo: …Kid what are you talking about…?😨”

F!Leo is just absolutely stunned when P!Leo starts explaining about how he thought he’d hate him. About how he was fully expecting his future self to absolutely loath and despise him for getting their world destroyed in another life and before he can finish his rant F!Leo is putting an arm around him and going ‘Kid what are you saying??? I would never hate you? Why would you think that?? :(‘

P!Leo: I thought you’d be mad at me? I messed up everything and-

F!Leo: But you didn’t though? That was me from another timeline, not you. Sure you messed up a little but everyone does- you still saved the world.

F!Leo- the same guy who raised Casey in war and raised him with love despite the battle and loss? The one who made Casey feel appreciated and trusted enough to help change the future for the better?? I’m sorry, but I can’t see him looking down at self-sacrificial, sad version of himself with a newly born martyr complex and not immediately imagine another kid like Casey that needs to be protected.

Like yeah, of course he has regrets, had those moments during the war where he was at an all time low of depression and doubt. But that was him, not P!Leo. F!Leo is the adult and more than aware that there’s nothing he can do to change what happened to him in his timeline. What happened- happened, you know? Why would he be mad that the younger version of him still had the opportunity to grow up and be a kid without worrying about the death and destruction of his world?

P!Leo: ..Are you sure you’re not even a little angry with me?? You don’t have to lie you can hit me if it’ll make you feel better-

F!Leo: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING IM NOT GONNA HIT YOU YOU’RE JUST A KID- 😟

Give me F!Leo always reassuring P!Leo. P!Leo messing up a move during training and expecting to be berated but instead hears ‘You almost had it! Here let me show you how to do it-‘. F!Leo insisting that P!Leo keep his little childish hobbies and to treasure them while he still can.

P!Leo: *Talking about his collection* I should really stop reading these. It’s kind of babyish for a leader to have Jupiter Jim comics-

F!Leo: Jupiter Jim will never be babyish!!1!/j 😡

I want F!Leo begging P!Leo about the newest editions- the movies and lore and merch he missed out on. I want him to still have the same, corny humor and the wide shit-eating grin he gets when people dramatically sigh at his jokes. I want him to put a comforting shoulder on P!Leo’s shoulder and assuring him that he made the same mistakes. I need P!Leo feeling comfortable enough to individually seek out F!Leo and feeling confident to ask him for help first.

P!Leo: I feel bad

F!Leo: How come?

P!Leo: Bc you lost an arm and I didn’t. Maybe if I lost a limb during the battle then we could be matching and-

F!Leo: Kid I cannot express enough how glad I am that you didn’t become an amputee ☠️

I need them to be a weird father/son duo

[brenninthetaylorverse]

I know most of you probably forgot about it but I haven't and I want to keep my promises so guess what! I'm bearing my soul to you people and today I'll finally be giving all the details of my album, melodramatic.

@dandelions-fly-in-summer-skies I'm gonna @ you in some more of my music like new songs because this is not my best work lol

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album cover:

*the original image isn't mine, I literally got it off the internet and I never plan on releasing this, making an album cover and all of this is for fun*

tracklist:

1. the movement

2. crying in my bed at 3 am on a rainy tuesday

3. gospel

4. places i’ve seen before

5. people lie.

6. take another breath

7. long pause

8. my dreams aren’t real but my demons are

9. honey take your meds

10. is my family ashamed of me?

11. drama queen

the three songs (I had a few that has the same number so I get to choose on those lol PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE MY WRITING)

1. my dreams aren't real but my demons are

Sitting in my room on a regular day, wasting my life away. I think blue light is seeping into my brain. I don’t do anything anymore. I don’t even see my friends. And my room is dirty, I wish my Mom was here to bug me to clean it. And he said “You’ll be fine on your own.” Oh, but he was so wrong. 

My dreams aren’t real. Sitting here wishing I had some kinda physical appeal, even looking in the mirror hurts. What can you do when you're stuck in a body that doesn’t even love you? How did the brain name itself and why is the brain so mean? And why is there a man dressed in all black outside my window, but only on Thursday nights? Because my dreams aren’t real, but my demons are. Getting into college, becoming famous, that’ll never happen but I can count on my sleep paralysis demon to be there when I need him. And it’s so sad because I’ve never hated myself more than I do now and they don’t care.

I can’t help but mope around, waiting for some big circus to roll into town. Maybe then I wouldn’t be the only clown. I get up on big stages, hoping every time will be different, but instead I get booed off. I’m not proud of my past and I hope this version of me doesn’t last. They say all I do is sing about the negative but what do they want me to do? Sing about rainbows and unicorns? I never will because I sing about what I feel.

Cause man, my dreams aren’t real. I can wish all I want for a big fancy house but come on, that’ll never happen. Cleverly hidden lyrics on the back of a cereal box. Whenever I’m at the doctor's office for the 7th time this month, all I do is stare at the clocks. I take 20 medicines a day and nothing can keep my demons away.

2. is my family ashamed of me (I am not suicidal I just want to preface)

They used to call me the good kid. They said to make sure I remember them when I get famous. They wanted some of my success. They wanted me to be somebody. And I can’t imagine dying without being famous. I want people other than my hometown to know my name. I want to be someone. Make a name. Get out of this town. And yet I’d be leaving behind everything I’ve ever known, till eventually I drown. In other words, in the fight for the crown. I’d come back and leave, do it all again and still not know where I want to be. 36, a crazy woman with a broken dream. Do I want that to describe me? 

What happens when you give all the time and never get anything back? Do you run out of gifts? Of things to give? All the birthdays, all the christmases. All the lost time yet I was there. Do they hear the whispers about me? The grocery store, the gas station, in the eyes of the people who saw me grow up. I was gonna do great things but sitting here, I got one question. Is my family ashamed of me?

Would all the problems be fixed if I wasn’t born. If I never existed. Would they be happier, nicer, richer? What would it be? Give me a genie and I’ll waste my wishes and give me all the money in the world and I’ll be gone. Is my family ashamed of me? And it’s not my fault, I’ve been thinking ‘bout death. Can’t help but question this whole big thing, said no when you proposed with your dollar tree ring. I can never ask for help, I’m embarrassed when I see someone I know in public. And I hate driving slow, but I love having somewhere to go.

3. drama queen (this song has a few taylor references, whoever can point them all out gets a cookie)

I wish that you could go and unsay all those things you said that day. I wish I could undo all my actions and the reckless driving I did on the way. I know I’m partly to blame, I know that you always curse when you say my name. I think I know everything, but I’m just a dumb teenage girl trying to make her way. Do you think when I showed up to your party that was when I ruined everything? Do you think that my Mom is too pushy and she needs to stay in her lane? And why did you run away when I said those three words? All you had to do was stay. 

I know you say I’m a drama queen. I know you say I think I know everything. But I thought you cared. I thought you liked it when I did that dare. I thought you were gonna comfort me when I cried, but you left me. If I died, would you attend my wake? Would you care if I threw it all away for the sake of our relationship? What if your future was in the bend, would you leave me then? Are you waiting for the moment to strike when it hurts the worst then leave my life speeding, while I’m forced to slowly follow the hearse? 

I convinced myself that you were a brick wall and I was the sledgehammer. Breaking you down and fixing you back up but like usual, I was wrong. You are my David, I am Michelangelo. You wanted the world and I wanted you, we are not equal. I wanted you so bad that suddenly, I didn’t want you at all. What happens when you’ve been fighting for years but suddenly you lose sight of what you’re fighting for? 

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so that's that. also I put most of my lyrics in paragraphs so if you don't read it all, I don't mind lol. enjoy my friends.

[inkbeanjo]

Ok, questions for Moni 1)What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do? 28) Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? 35)How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? And for the creator- H) What trait of theirs do you admire most?

oh god uhhh 1: Barely any time- it's a small detail in chapter one, but while Spyder is doing recon there's a tab open in Moni's AR feed that's literally just a galaga emulator on pause. the girl is undiagnosed adhd as hell and finds her own enrichment if things are too quiet. 28: Absolutely a lie, she can't even bring herself to tell others simple truths- for her at least, it'd feel hypocritical to ask for simple truths instead of little lies. (totally not gonna be relevant in the not too distant future) 35: She's quick to excite and likes excuses to not be awkward or sad, so 9 times out of 10 she's supportive as hell. if it's technical or niche knowledge, as a HS dropout, she feels like she can only contribute so much conversationally- but to the credit she wouldn't give herself, she's curious enough to pick up info/otherwise learn as conversations go. H) Moni is a major comfort character for me; Growing up, I was/still am a massive fan of Gurren Lagann, as i saw it at a very low point in my life that I really really needed- the idea of someone who could push through anything and everything to achieve something, odds and despair be damned, was utterly foreign to me in my late teens. I attached to it really quickly, and wanted to be someone like that. Real life of course isn't a super mecha anime- and shortly afterward I got hit with a figurative train of additional bullshit that worsened my depression, and afterward was around the time I statted/drew Moni's first iteration (unrelated to the comic, that game kinda pittered out ;;). Just this cocky little barrens rat with a penchant for illegal chrome and destructive weaponry, who kept bouncing back despite getting shot/flamethrowered/electrocuted/stabbed/etc etc her first iteration was ironically far less competent than my second approach years later. When I took a stab at her the second time, I wasn't in much better a spot mental health wise- I wound up making her an inverse of how she'd been originally, a timid as hell and introverted mess liable to snap at relatively common atrocities in the seattle metroplex. I met some friends and played her out further, and things kind of developed from there into some of the later art you've probably seen me post, scarred up and loving every second of close quarters hyperviolence she gets to take part in. This's all set dressing and context. The trait I admire most about her is her persistence, and genuine ability to grow. No matter what bullshit I played her through, no matter what dire stuff she had to work through in personal roleplays or as a consequence of her digging into things that shouldn't be, there were single digit times she ever came close to giving up or throwing in the towel. The idea that someone as flawed and as broken as her could genuinely improve on herself/otherwise reach a point of self actualization makes me hopeful that I could do the same.

[startreatment]

i can't believe i haven't asked for your in depth thoughts on the car yet but i am asking it now! has the top 5 changed?

so i just checked and my top 5 was mirrorball, big ideas, hello you, sculptures and mr schwartz and tbh i don't think it did. i'm not sure about mr schwartz, i think it might be switched for the car or jet skis on the moat, but yeah. some thoughts on each track individually:

there'd better be a mirrorball: instant classic, come on now! gorgeous production, THE STRINGS!!, smooth vocals, so hazy, beautiful and atmospheric. i cried to it more times than i am willing to admit, it really is a tearjerker. i've seen some people say that lyrics are the weakest part of the album, which i obviously disagree with, but especially on this one. it's pretty simple, but still effective and touching. "i'd throw the rose tint back on the exploded view darling, if i were you" always gets me.

i ain't quite where i think i am: FUN!! the weakest one on the album, but i genuinely love it. WAAAAAAH!! i am a she looks like fun enjoyer as well, so i guess i just like having fun idk?

sculptures of anything goes: no words to adequately explain the sheer grip this one has on me. everything i wanted and more. so dark, ominous, rich and textured, we love her!! and the title's very cool, too. it is a career highlight idc what y'all say!! 5 years from now we're gonna treat it with the same respect and love we treat crying lightning, four out of five and other pretties. love. alex turner work on a portishead inspired album challenge

jet skis on the moat: didn't grab me on the first listen, but it's actually very cute! gives me western vibes, one of the songs that reminds me of TBHC the most, for some reason. love the way he delivers "or are you just happy to sit there and watch while the paint job dries?". "you know that it's alright if you're wanna cry" thank you alex, but i have been bawling since the first track so <3

body paint: still sad it didn't live up to my very high expectations that were set up by that damn kings theatre live "leak", but i appreciate it way more in context. the piano riff is insane tho, sometimes it just randomly plays in my head throughout the day. also, really enjoy the first lyric. "for a master of deception and subterfuge you've made yourself quite the bed to LIE in" ok we get it you're very funny. also. "and i'm keeping on my costume and calling it a writing tool"? yeah he's.......... mhm

the car: ruins me the same way ultracheese does, which means i sob uncontrollably until i feel like there's no air around me at all. childhood memories always get me so hard and the strings add a sense of melancholy i can't handle. very sick of them to put it in the middle of the fucking record! anyway, it kinda reminds me of faust arp by radiohead, which is a win, because in rainbows is very good. good track!

big ideas: have i ever said that we should artists grow? let them change and flourish and explore new things? hm, idk. lyrically it's a bit too on the nose, which is not what i was expecting at all, but it's a welcome change from cryptic TBHC lyrics. sometimes i just want him to say what he thinks, you know? and we're gonna stop analysing the lyrics now, because i don't wanna get upset.

hello you: the first make me hold my breath and stop me in my tracks no matter what i'm doing (kinda like nfwmb foof and diwk do so. do with that what you will). that piano riff (? can you call it that idk i know nothing about music) is CRAZYYYY. also plays in my head throughout the day, so catchy and fun. lego napoleon moveh. vortex to vortex. the buisness they call show. 'ello gruesome. HELLOOOO YOU. might be my favourite from the record if i'm being completely honest. sorry, i love a good instrumental, what can i say. i actually saw someone say it's pattern with no miles, which is pretty accurate!

mr. schwartz: my head hurts. again, not getting into the lyrics, but i HAVE to point out that "and if wе guess who i'm pretending to be, do we win a prize?" makes me wanna lay down for a sec. also FINGERPICKING!!

perfect sense: why is it so short. melancholic (what a surprise), but doesn't make me wanna die! it's the type of melancholy that you feel when you're watching the last episode of your favourite show. a nice farewell song that sounds sad but hopeful, a gorgeous closer. they Know how to write a good closing track for sure. love it!!

my overall review: makes me cry, but it's very good. would love to have a couple more tracks that sound like i ain't quite or hello you to dilute the ... whatever's going on in the middle that makes me sob, but i can also appreciate the fact that it's just 10 tracks. still, we want b-sides @ am. make it happen!!!!! a 9/10, already in my top 3 (which is tbhc > humbug > fwn = the car), taylor swift cant't relate

[kaylawritesfics]

Hot take, (ok honestly probably not that controversial I've seen numerous agree) but Mike and Eleven shouldn't be together. This isn't about Byler at all, Mike and El are just toxic for each other. Mike told El what she wanted to hear, that she loves him, and they're STILL having relationship problems. They are way too dependent on each other, and El is just not ready for a romantic relationship imo. El still needs to work on herself, she needs to work past her traumas and PTSD. As other Anon said, Mike has been reduced to El's boyfriend since S3, and Mike also needs to work on himself. He's emotionally distant, and he tries to forget his trauma, but that's not his fault it's the way he was raised. Finn is such an amazing actor, Mike could be an awesome character and its sad to see the Duffers basically throw that away.

Unrelated side note, seeing Mike and Hopper hug at the end of ep 9 was heartwarming, they wanted to choke each other during S3 so it's nice to see them get along. Kinda hoping to see those two team up for s5

STRANGER THINGS VOL 2 SPOILERS

-

this is a take that i also mildly agree with. i am the biggest byler shipper and i would love to see them together (even though will is lowkey too good for mike). this is gonna be a long one buckle up pals.

eleven was like what, maybe 12 (?) when she met mike. she was young and vulnerable and had just gone through the worst things you could imagine. she could literally barely speak coherent sentences. there was absolutely no reason for her to be in such an intense relationship that young. she needed time to process and grieve for herself but instead, she was thrown into a very heavily dependent relationship with a boy that she barely even knew. they were cute, yes, but as they got older, their relationship just became so confusing.

mike, on the other hand, needs to grow up a little away from eleven. i think that the time apart really did good for mike because he was much more bearable this season than he was last season, at least in my opinion. i really want him to develop as a character and develop relationships outside of eleven. i feel like he may have hardcore abandonment issues and separation anxiety, which creates a really difficult dynamic when it comes to mileven.

anyway, i was never a hardcore mileven shipper. they have cute moments but i will not lie to you guys, when max was introduced, i liked the idea of her and mike together. obviously, i’m glad that her and lucas got together but that scene with max and mike in the gym while she’s skateboarding had little me blushing and kicking my feet.

also i absolutely teared up at the hug between hopper and mike i hope we get more positive interactions with them. mike needs a father figure desperately his dad sucks ass

[firethekitty]

Alador

hiii omg thank you 😳😳

first impression:

well when Escaping Expulsion aired i was like JUST catching up with the owl house so i didn’t know what to think yet other than i thought this frame was funny as fuck. i still laugh out loud when i see it lmaooo

impression now:

yea he’s pretty cool i guess!! he’s extremely hot not even gonna lie and :) i love his voice and design. he’s literally just a Dad tho which can be good or bad. i DO think his “redemption” was pretty well done, i like his relationship with Amity and how he’s really trying his best now, but i wish he wasn’t like. borderline malicious in Escaping Expulsion? :/ i think we, as the audience, should have gotten some kind of clearer hint that he was being abused by Odalia. honestly it just kinda came across as “aw man i gotta go to the Killing presentation again… i’m so bored… i‘d rather be fishing LOL am i right boys?” and not him being controlled by his insane wife to the point of almost literally killing children

i know we got him convincing Odalia to stop the abomination, but he still let it actually get that far to begin with? i think to make his redemption less ridiculously-abrupt he should’ve been a little more wary from the beginning. OR the same and given him way more repercussions in later episode. cuz i’m sick of abusive parents getting off scot-free.

idk if any of this even makes sense lmao i can elaborate if anyone wants. but yeah. he seems to be more just a victim of lackluster/rushed writing unfortunately but overall i do like him!

favorite moment:

idea for a story:

please god more bonding with his children!! especially Edric and Emira!! i don’t think we’ve ever even seen them SPEAK to each other bro!!

unpopular opinion:

people give him WAY too much slack. yes he was being abused himself, yes he’s genuinely trying to be better, but i really don’t think he should be forgiven so easily, he literally hasn’t even said sorry like?? and i don’t mean by Amity cuz we know she didn’t forgive him, but like. by the fandom ig? i’ve seen the most ABYSMAL takes in existence about Camila and even Perry Gus’ dad and Willow’s dads???? but really not much on Alador. wonder why.

favorite relationship:

i genuinely think his and Amity’s relationship is sweet from what we’ve seen! it’s realistic and it’s sad and personally, very familiar to me. so i’m happy to see them growing closer in a realistic way, love to project there lmao. i also NEED to know what happened between him and Darius, it’s so fucking funny how they scoff and roll their eyes whenever they hear a mention of each other

favorite headcanon:

autism :)

[bigolgay]

well done for going to the gym :) weird or not, you having a good day is GREAT! my day has been good as well i think…i mean i barely slept last night so i was super tired but i still got up early and fixed up my apartment a bit and then i did nothing all afternoon/evening :) i’m just trying to relax as much as i can before uni starts again…next semester is gonna be stressfulllll :/

they didn’t go too well to be honest, i only passed one exam, but looking back at how i was doing the entire last semester up until last month that’s really no surprise :/ as you said i’m just glad everything’s done and i can get it all off my mind for now :) no because why is it like that every year haha, i mean as soon as the sun was out a bit more and i heard the birds early in the morning i was like: happiness…is possible??? anyway, i’m doing a lot better and i hope it’ll last for a bit :) (no need to fight anyone, i will gladly accept your offer to come over though :))

they really grow up too fast (sounding like a parent here)…and i’m not gonna lie: i’m kinda jealous that you get to spend time with those little guys every day :’) but i guess i’ll just wait for the cat distribution system to do its job :/

Sorry, I meant to reply to you last night but uh… I fell asleep super early yesterday🫣and then this morning has been hectic! But never mind, I finally reply to you!

Hehe thanks! I like going to the gym… mostly to use the pool but shh that’s besides the point. And I’m glad you maybe had a good day! And fr well done for not only fixing up your apartment but also waking up early??? After a night of not sleeping well??? Nuts. That’s smart, get allllll the relaxation in and mentally prepare for the start of uni again🫣i know there’s no denying that it’ll be stressful, but I hope it’s not too stressful and gives you time to relax and rest🤞

Ah that’s a shame, but not the end of the world! You’ll do better next time! And a MASSIVE well done for passing the one you did! *round of applause*. Seasonal depression is truly wild. Hello, it is winter time and it is dark all the time and it is cold, time for all the brain sads😌enjoy the next few months of mental anguish!!! Have fun!!!! Tis officially spring and I could not be happier about it. My favourite season. I’m glad you’re doing better and I hope it lasts for a very long time! …fine. No fighting anyone. I am however on my way to you to correct this awful mistake of you not being hugged enough😌🫶🏼

If it was up to me I’d more than happily gift you one of the babies… unfortunately, tis not up to me. But I will write a letter to the cat distribution system and see if I can get them to send you a kitty friend sooner😌🤣

[alternateanonymous]

5:16 am

Hey yall, nothing new. Me and stefan had a little dispute but it wasn't crazy. It was just something out of nothing so lol, nothing new. I played valorant and ow on pc which was crazy. Stefan said he was gonna call me but went to sleep and didn't even say goodnight. Kinda sad about that not gonna lie. Had a good night regarless, decided to not go bnack to amherst yet because I have an appointment for my skin on wednesday and it wouldn't really make sense for me to go all the way to amherst then come back the next day so well see. just had a big snow storm too, so that's cool. also, im getting alot better at typing on this thing, honestly it took a minute but we are here and making it all fluid and shit, I love it lol. Also, praise petar he is a real g because he helped me figure out my shit which was nice. also, ugh being president is hard lolll. Ugh. also, idk discord is cool it just sucks that it has such a bad reputation lol. i went to get pizza with my mom today it was good. i talked to here about a lot of things so that was nice. I also called syka last night to check in and everything seems to be going well, she is going to be seeing her boyfriend rin soon so that's cool. stilll haven't played overwatch with them yet but that will come with time. i feel like sykaa still has a lot to learn and grow and develope in terms of realtionships but isn't that just life lol. I do wish stefan would at least text me or whatever. He did this the other day. Yea he's already asleep but i at least text him if i am going to sleep or whatever, idk. i am just scared or overthinking lol. Idk, not even. lately i've just been finding a lot of inner peace with myself and that's really rejuvenating. Like idk, honeslty once i joined the server i feel that apart of me has been restored in a way and i don't fully know how to describe it. it's like the good girl feminine energy that i have always wanted throughout my life has been finally restored in a way that i have never really had or never knew i needed. Call it cringy but lol whatever. like i said, i don't get as caught up with shit i would normally get caught up with. Idk. I mean partially some of that is due to weed because it helps distract and calm me. Like the night with stefan where shit was supposed to go bad, like yea it was bad in the moment and yea i cried, but then i just said fuck you imma do what i want if you wanna be impossible just be impossible i don['t care imma do what i wanna do. And i did and it was nice because the weed helped me. turned my thoughts back onto me and it was nice because i felt relaxed lol. yea am i still annoyed at stefan, yes but the chances of that happening again= maybe, so maybe I'll bring it up to him bext time i see him and just be like "yea, i am ok now and i ave had some time to sit and process it, and im not mad at you or annoyed at you and i recovered pretty quickly after our disput but it still doesn't make me feel ok that you resorted to not wanting the video regardless of the effort i decide to put in or not, because even though i was confused it stil doesn't make it right for you to revoke your intentions and say you don't want the video,. At that point it just made me feel worse. proved that you got to your breaking point of carelessness, and made me confused and sad that you didn't want what i was trying to give to youy regarless of if i complained or not. Idk, just didn't sit right with me. So what i ask of you for the future if we get in a situation like that again, please just let me deal with my own self and complaints and just don't revoke your inital intentions because that makes me feel worse and sad. So yes a. don't revoke your intentions and b. just let me complain when i want to complain. and understand that i am just complaining about it. Besides, you know me well enough to know that i can complain a lot about things but it doesn't mean that i am going to quit what i am doing. Just be patient with me ok? regarless of if i complain or not. because as my boiyfriend you know me better than most people.

Right thanks, so yea that is my shpeel ahout that, it is currently 5:30 am and i am lisening to death by dishonor by ghostmane. Shit goes hard lol. So yea, maggie just make sure you talk to stefan about this when you get a chance, preferably in person!!!!! Great thanks. Damn, that's actually crazy that this whole thing only took me 15 minutes to write lol. I literally love this fucking keyboard and pc so much, i honestly didn't think id like it this much but i love it, I love the keyboard and the mouse and the pc itself. the monitor is fine lol. and the applications that come with a pc are really cool, like bro. I can play overwatch and valorant which is cool. valorant i can finally play since it is apc exclusive game and also i finally feel valid enough to go on discord. Idk, some apps i just hate on my phone and would much rather prefer their layout on pc which is now where we are which is fire. But yea, ahhh we are making it mags. we're making it. Just keep your head up and keep striving for greatness because that's what you were made for. what were you made for= whatever you choose, you were given the ability to decide what is right wrong good and bad, and (most imporanty) answer those decisions with a why. You put the intention behind the decision, so thats your purpose. to be the voice of the world. Goodnight maggie, i love you. hahah YAAA that's weird, lol self love is weird. But legit this is the first time i have ever felt like i loved my personality and found purpose. My purpose is whatever i decide because i have that ability. So thanks!!! im just gonna keep trying to be the best person that i can be!!! yasaaaaaa,, fuck it we always positive in this bitch.

[chiderilas]

I am fully aware that despite I can be quite calm and collected, there's always a storm brewing in my head. Which I realise, that most of the time, I put down those storms in writing in this platform. However, after being in a committed relationship for the past... 5 years now, and few years after accepting myself of being polyamorous, it has been such a turmoil, especially in my head. It's actually quite interesting how life is actually much better when you started to allow yourself to feel, listening to what your heart is telling you, and actually allowing those conversations to happen in your head while trying to release it in healthy way. Just because you have another feelings to another person, doesn't mean you have to sabotage your entire life for it. I am actually quite fortunate to have a partner that allows me to discuss this in a healthy way. This, combined to the practice that I've been doing in verbalising emotions. Including putting shapes and forms into the emotions that I feel. I mean the whole thing about eliminating jealousy, learning about compersion, and understanding that love is just an umbrella terms are wild. It's like a forbidden knowledge that humanity doesn't talk about enough but could be very beneficial to the whole species that disagree with patriarchal society.

Well anyway, the point of this post is more on the appreciation side. I realise that I've been dumping my storms here, but never really about the centre of my storms. The pillar in the centre of it all where it held everything together. It is the reason why the storms can grow so big, yet, never been so destructive as it held it all in place. Yes, this post is specifically to talk about Alex.

I think the trigger for this can be separated into 2 events: first is when we were asked "how would you rate your relationship" and the second is when I was asked "what you gonna do if you only have 1 year left to live". Those questions really made me think. One, is that I am very grateful for having Alex in my life. How there's no such thing as off-limit conversations. At the same time, we don't want to be each others' reason to limit each others' world. We want to be able to become the foundation of each other and help each other grow. I think that works really well with me, considering that one of my early age trauma is not having freedom with limited options. Now that I am exploring the concept of freedom, and actually allowing myself to this with someone having my back is literally one of the best thing I can have in my life. At the same time, when the second question was asked, it made me think. When conversation about death came up to me,I had few faces coming up to my mind. How I don't want to see them sad because of me, and not being scared of my own demise. At the same time with parallel thought in my head, I know that's a very sad thing, because it kinda hinted that I don't look into myself. But that question earlier today, it made me realise that Alex would cry for me in my place. It made me realise that my pain is not only mine anymore. Something that I always yearn for in my life. I know I'm in a good hand when I'm in a relationship with someone like this. Not gonna lie, it took trips around the valley and back to get here, but I am confident to say, I will fix it if anything ever got broken in this relationship and not just discarding it away.

[igetdepressedandilearnthings]

Yesterday I told my boss I didn't think I would be able to help the department next semester because my dad's situation has gotten worse and I kinda need to be present here in case anything happens. He wished me and my family peace. It was a rather quick conversation actually. I wouldn't usually think twice about talking with someone for two minutes. But this was the first time I actually acknowledged what seem to be the present facts. That my dad might die soon.

Cancer is such an unforgiving disease. I knew that. Even when everything seems to be going well, things can take a turn for the worse incredibly quickly. I also knew that. You should not give yourself false hopes. But I wanted to enjoy this time and that time too. I wanted to have some moments still with my dad and feel like everything is fine. They tell you that the best thing you can do is just take it one day at a time and try to make the most of whatever time you get. That's a lie.

We are all going to die, but we never think it's gonna be soon. Even if you try to live like every moment should be cherished because "you never know which one could be the last", it's very different when you actually know you are close to that last moment. It's hard to enjoy the time you get when you wish you would get a million years more. Or just a few. Or maybe more than a few. Whatever, just more than what you will get, even if you don't actually know yet for certain how much it will be. 'Cause you can already tell for certain it's not gonna be enough. That you might not be able to say all the things you wanted to say. That you are not who you wish you were.

I wanted my dad to see me go abroad and thrive. I never wanted to choose between being there for his last years and postponing my life plans or going ahead but leaving my family alone. I wanted to see if my relationship with him could be different, maybe better, if I went away and spoke with him over the phone every day instead of always living with him. I wanted him to believe in my future. But I'm not sure if he does or if he ever did. I wanted him to see me actually do all that instead of just hearing me talk about it. I didn't even talk that much about it for goodness sake. I never did actually figure out how to speak more with him at all. And now it feels like it really is too late.

I had to admit yesterday that my dad might die soon and I'm still so sad about it. I don't really have anyone to speak to about any of this. My mom is a bigger mess than I am. My sister is still stuck between growing up and not wanting to deal with any responsibility, my dad's situation included. I wouldn't want to be a burden to either of them anyway. I don't have any friends close enough to actually tell them all of this.

And my dad, not only is he the one that's sick but because the fucking thing also went to his head sometimes it's really hard to know if he's still here completely. I just want him to know how much I love him, that I'm gonna miss him forever so so much and that I wish more than anything that he would just try to be as happy as he can before his time comes. That I will be fine, not because I will be fine really, but because of everything he has taught me and the amazing example he set for me.

I wish he knew already. Maybe he does. Or maybe it's not too late to still tell him. But I also dread that. Because yesterday it was only my boss that I had to admit it to. I don't think I'm ready to admit it to my dad yet, and I'm afraid I might never be.

[kitdragonflight]

~Blaz Brooks, entry 2. The morning of his departure.~

Today is the day. I am so excited I could hardly sleep a wink! So when dawn came, I found myself sitting in the book corner, reminiscing. I was born and raised in this house...but I knew I will be back, after all, how could I stay away? 

When Mom and Dad were heard upstairs, getting ready, I spent time with Cinnamon. 

“Hey you silly girl...I am going to miss you. Don’t go anywhere or do anything I wouldn’t do while I’m gone, okay? I’ll see you this weekend!” He promised. The elderly husky just jumped and nudged his hands repeatedly. “You are such a good baby, yes you are...take care of them for me, okay?”

[waitimcomingtoo]

Cool Kids

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Synopsis: you walk in on some domestic bliss between Peter and your little brother

Masterlist

“Oh, hey.” Peter noticed your brother in the doorway as he sat at your kitchen table. He was still waiting for you to come home, and he assumed he was home alone. Even though he’d been your boyfriend for over a year, he’d never actually seen your brother before.

“You’re Finn right?” Peter continued. “I’m Peter, your sisters, uh, friend. We were gonna study together but she’s running a little late.”

“Yoda.” Finn pointed to the Yoda pin on Peters backpack.

“Yeah.” Peter looked at the pin and nodded. “You like Star Wars?”

“Yes.” Finn nodded.

“I like it too.” Peter smiled. “I wish I had a Yoda of my own. Y/n is kinda like my Yoda though. She makes all my decisions for me, thankfully.”

“Y/n is my sister.” Finn recited. “She is 13 minutes late.”

“Yeah, but that’s okay.” Peter chuckled. “Does she ever watch Star Wars with you?”

“No.” Finn said simply.

“Do you want to know a secret?” Peter leaned on his chair, closer to Finn.

“Yes.” His eyes lit up and he clapped in excitement.

“She doesn’t like it because she’s not as cool as us.” Peter whispered behind his hand.

“Not as cool as us.” He clapped again. “Do you want to see my room? I have lightsabers that make real noises. I have two of them. One is red and one is blue.”

“Uh, of course I want to see your room.” Peter said like it was obvious. Finn turned around and swiftly walked towards his room, and Peter followed.

“You have to wipe your feet three times.” Finn instructed as he wiped his feet three times on the mat in front of his door.

“You got it.” Peter complied as he wiped his feet as well. Peter began to look around and smiled at how similar Finns room looked to his own.

“These are my Legos.” Finn said as he pointed to a shelf lined with Lego sets of all sizes.

“Woah.” Peter gasped as he walked over to the shelf. “You have the Lego Death Star?”

“Yes. It has 3803 pieces and it took me 4 days to make it.” Finn told him.

“You built this all by yourself?” Peter’s eyes widened with impression.

“Yes.” Finn smiled and clapped a few times. “Legos make me happy.”

“They make me happy too.” Peter commented as he gazed at the sets. Finn silently took two lightsabers out of his closet and held them out to Peter.

“Do you want to play lightsabers?” Peter asked him, and he nodded.

“Me too. But only if I can use the red one.” Peter smiled, taking note of all the blue clothes in the closet and assuming his favorite color was blue. Finn clapped again and gave Peter the red lightsaber before jumping into a battle stance. Peter lost track of time as they played with the various toys in Finns room. He was genuinely enjoying himself, and Finn seemed to be as well.

You stepped into Finns room and wiped your feet three times on his mat. When you looked up, you saw Peter swinging Finn around the room while making “pew pew” sounds.

“Hey Y/n.” Peter paused with Finn midair. “We were just…looking for my calculator.”

“Peter is telling a lie.” Finn said simply.

“I can see that.” You chuckled. “I just wanted to let you guys know that the pizza will be here in 20 minutes.”

“Pizza.” Finn clapped as Peter set him down. “The pizza will be here in 20 minutes.”

“Thank you.” Peter stammered, cheeks growing red in embarrassment. You smirked at him before leaving the room and returning to your own.

“I’ll be right back.” Peter said quickly as he rushed to your room.

“Um, hi.” Peter stammered as he leaned against your door. He knew you didn’t like to talk about your brother and he could only assume you were angry with him now.

“Hey.” You said without looking up.

“You’re home?” Peter asked as he sat next to you. “How long have you been here?”

“About an hour.” You shrugged, setting your textbook next to you.

“An hour?” Peter gasped. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You looked pretty busy so I’ve just been reviewing by myself.” You fought back a smile as you looked at your boyfriend.

“I wasn’t…I wasn’t busy.” Peter said sheepishly.

“Really? You seemed pretty busy playing with my brother.” You shrugged casually.

“I know.” Peter sighed. “I’m sorry if I overstepped a boundary but he asked me-“

“He asked you?” You were taken aback. “My brother asked you to play with him?”

“Yeah.” Peter apologized. “I told him I was there to help you study and he started talking to me about Star Wars and one thing just kinda led to another.”

“He doesn’t let me hug him and he was letting you fly him around the room like an airplane.” You looked at the ceiling as you let out a humorless laugh.

“Actually, I was flying him around the room like the Millennium Falcon.” Peter reluctantly corrected you.

“Peter.” You stood up and rubbed your face.

“I’m sorry.” Peter stood up as well. “He was just so excited to show me his legos and I got carried away. I’m sorry.”

“Peter, I’m not mad.” You told him as you turned around.

“You’re not?”

“No.” You smiled softly. “Not even a little bit.”

“But…” Peter looked confused. “But you never let me meet him before. I thought you didn’t want him to know about me.”

“Peter, my brother has autism.” You told him for the first time. Peter tilted his head in confusion and looked at you skeptically. He was pretty sure that was something you would have told him in the time you’d been dating. 

“What?” He asked softly. 

 “Yeah.” You shrugged. “He’s pretty much non verbal towards everyone but me and my parents. I never let you meet him because he doesn’t like strangers.”

“Oh.” Peter blinked slowly as he put it all together.

“That’s why I let you guys play.” You told him. “He doesn’t have any friends at school since he doesn’t like to talk to anyone. When I came home and saw you guys playing... Peter that was the happiest I have ever seen him. I didn’t want it to stop.’’

“Oh.” Peter said again, with a smile this time. “I had no idea.”

“Because he was so engaged with you.” You gushed with excitement. “I mean, he was talking, letting you touch him, making eye contact. Peter, he rarely looks me in the eyes. Do you know how comfortable he must have been with you to look you in the eyes? And the fact that he asked you to play with him? If he needs something, we usually have to figure it out because he doesn’t like asking for things. I can’t believe this.”

“He’s a really great kid. I could already tell that just from playing with him.” Peter smiled as he tucked your hair behind your ear. You smiled back, but it faded as a sadness settled in your eyes.

“He doesn’t hug you?” Peter asked suddenly as he drew back to something you had said before. You looked down and nodded before frowning at Peter.

“When he was little, we noticed he got really uncomfortable with certain fabrics and textures touching his skin, like the tag on his shirt or rough towels.” You began to explain. “Then it broadened to other forms of contact. He has sensory issues so he doesn’t like it when people touch him. I haven’t hugged him since he was two.”

“I’m sorry.” Peter frowned and kissed your forehead.

“It’s okay.” You sighed as you pulled him into a hug. Peter rubbed your back comfortingly as you squeezed him back.

“The pizza is here.” Finn opened your door suddenly. “The pizza costs $13.67.”

“Thanks Finn.” You smiled at your brother as you wiped a tear off your cheek. “We’ll be right there.”

“You’re crying.” Finn stated. “Are you sad? Crying means sad.”

“No, I’m not sad.” You wiped your face and smiled at him. “I’m okay. See? Happy.”

“Finn, why don’t you come in here.” Peter said suddenly as he opened his arms. You looked at Peter curiously as he scooped up Finn and held him on his hip. Your mouth opened a little in surprise, not used to seeing your brother touching people.

“You know how we said Star Wars were cool?” Peter asked Finn.

“Yes.” Your brother nodded.

“You know what’s even cooler?” Peter looked between you and Finn. “Group hugs.”

Your lips tugged into a smile as you watched your brother hang on to every word Peter said. Finn looked at you without making eye contact and slowly opened his free arm.

“Is the material of my sweater okay?” You asked him carefully.

“It’s okay.” He nodded, and that was all you needed. You stepped into the hug and wrapped your arms around your little brother. A tear slipped down your cheek as you rubbed his back, taking in the scent you hadn’t smelled in years. A small noise emitted from the back of his throat and you pulled away, knowing he was uncomfortable.

“Thanks Finn.” You smiled at him to show him you were happy. “Let’s go get the pizza.”

Finn ran out the the room, leaving you and Peter alone.

“I’m sorry if that was-“

You cut Peter off by pulling him into a kiss to thank him for what he had done. Peter happily kissed you back as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“That was perfect.” You assured him in a whisper. “Thank you.”

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[sunnysunoo]

Love Letters ; Sim Jake

Pairing: Jake X Reader

warnings: explicit language and cursing

word count: 3k words

genre: friends to lovers au! fluff with tiny pieces of crack lmao

Jake was always known for being this perfect guy in school. I mean, they're not wrong. They always described him as if he's this walking piece of art in the hallways. People would stop to just stare at him. You'd stare at him all day too, but you set priorities first: writing him love letters.

You're no Lara Jean, but I guess you can say that she's what inspired you to write Jake letters. Who needs Peter Kavinsky when Jake Shim exists anyways?

note: Not me completely disappearing off of tumblr for like months and then showing up again suddenly lol. I got really busy the past few months since I was completing requirements for school, and I really didn't have the motivation to do anything at the time so I took so time off to take care of myself first so I hope you understand :) But now since it's summer break, I am given at least 2 more months until I go back to school in August :)) Here's the long-awaited Jake imagine that I completely forgot about lmao hope you enjoy <3

P.S I finished writing this at 1:26 am so please excuse the really shitty plot and grammar ill rewrite it once i wake up

tag list: @cha-raena ( sorry for the rlly late post bestie )

Dear Jake, First of all, I will never call you Jaeyun because calling you by your English name makes me feel like I'm your friend. Calling you by your Korean name makes us feel like we're cold strangers to one another and I don't want that. I want us to be something more than that, but it's hard when you don't even know who I am. I'm surprised how you don't grow tired of me just dropping letters right into your locker every time you open it, and that's one of the things I love about you. You don't just throw away people's efforts and you treasure them with care. It makes my heart beat so fast as if I ran miles away from here.

We're already one year left until we graduate high school, and I don't want to end my high school years without you realizing my feelings for you. I know for sure that you would never reciprocate the feelings that I have towards you, so I want to treat this as closure in case we do forget about each other in the future. Yours truly,

Moon

__

"How is this person not over you? That's like the tenth one this month," Jay said, looking over Jake as he reads the letter from his secret admirer. Jake has always been receiving these letters from the same person everyday for the past four months. He's thankful for the letters because they definitely make his day better, knowing that there's someone out there who loves him as who he is regardless of looks. He's not gonna lie that these little notes and letters make his heart race too. "Do you have any plans with finding the person behind the letters?" Jay asked as he watches his best friend trying to hide the small smile that's been growing. No one really knows who this mysterious person is and why they decided to name themselves the moon, but we don't judge anyone in here. If they want to be the moon in their next life, then so be it. "I really want to find the person who's making these letters," Jake shoved the letter in his backpack, trying to not wrinkle it. "But I don't know where to start." "Who's finding who?" A voice popped suddenly beside the presence of the two boys. You leaned beside the locker beside Jake's, watching him as he grabs his books from his locker. "Did Moon drop your daily letter today again?" "They did as usual," Jake wasn't even surprised. He would expect the letters every time he enters the school in the morning. He would open his locker to see the usual small letter placed inside his locker. He usually arrives at seven or earlier, but he's surprised that he could never even catch a glance of this anonymous sender around the campus. "Should I go to school at five in the morning?" "Five in the morning? Isn't that a bit too early?" You questioned, followed by a shaky breath. "The school doesn't even open until six." "I could just walk to that nearby convenience store I always pass by to grab a coffee." He argues, closing his locker shut before walking towards his classroom.

You and Jay followed beside him, and you sneered under your breath, "You don't even wake up to your alarm clock."

"Why don't you even want me to go early anyway?" He glances as you try to give him an answer. But before you could say something, Jay replies first.

"You’re probably hiding something." He said. You rolled your eyes and narrowed your eyes at him. "You are so weird." You grunted, before walking ahead of them. You feel panicked because you were scared that you made yourself obvious to them.

__

You were inside your classroom sitting on your desk. There were only fifteen minutes left before lunch, but you had eaten your packed meal before instead of going to your school cafeteria. You were fidgeting in your place, conflicted about Jake finding his secret admirer, not knowing that it was you who's been sending him letters the past few months. You're not scared of him finding out that the letters were from you; that was the entire reason why you wrote him letters in the first place. You're scared of how he was gonna confront you about it. Would he like you back? Would he hate you? Would he avoid you?

Your mind was full of scenarios but you were suddenly brought back to reality when a hand planted itself on your desk. You look up and saw Jay standing in front of you, eating sushi with his other hand. His face kinda looks like he knows something, and it's freaking you out a bit.

"What?" You asked, suddenly flustered over how his eyes stared right into you. He took the seat in front of your desk and flipped it so it was facing you. He sat down and blurted the phrase that you were dreading to hear from anyone.

"So, you like Jake?"

You suddenly feel like punching him in the face with his sushi.

"What??" Your body felt like, and you were left a nervous mess. Your heart like it was going to pump right out of your chest any minute, and your hands started to sweat.

Jay's mouth formed into a smirk. He caught you. "Jake may be a bit oblivious, but I can totally see right through you."

“Haha...no you don’t,” You tried to deny, but it was all useless when his expression looked unconvinced.

“Oh yeah? Then why are you all red? You look like a bursting tomato.”

“You don’t know that," You leaned further into your seat, playing with the strings of your hoodie.

“C’mon Y/N, you’re not even trying. Just give up and admit it,” Jay was trying to help you confess your feelings for Jake. Frankly, he knew it was you sending him letters this whole time—how can Jake not see it?

With a heavy sigh, you slumped and laid your head on your desk, embarrassed. “Fine. I like him, okay? Are you happy now?”

The smirk on his face grew wider, feeling proud of himself. You are not dealing with his annoying crap this early in the morning. He grinned and munched on his half-eaten sushi. “I knew it.”

“Congratulations,” It was muffled because you hid your red face away from him. All that was on your mind now was how you could book yourself a flight all the way across the world.

“But seriously, since when did you have a crush on him?” You raised your head to face him, giving him a look that could kill, except Jay finds it entertaining rather than intimidating.

“I started having a crush on him when we were in fifth grade. It was at a friend's birthday party, and he saw me being all quiet and lonely. Honestly, I forgot who’s birthday that was.” You told him the very first time you had discovered feelings.

“He saw how sad I looked so he accompanied me the whole time. He was even trying to feel more included in the games and stuff.” You felt a smile ghosting on your lips as you can still vividly remember how you felt your heart tug the first time. “It was kinda like I fell in love at first sight.”

Jay faked a gag, so you lightly punched him in the shoulder. He may be a bit of an asshole, but he’s one the most caring and kind people you’ve ever met. It honestly felt good spilling out your feelings about Jake to him.

Speaking of, Jake was watching you two play around and laugh at Jay's little jokes from outside, and he felt something burning from inside him. Was it that he felt jealous of you and Jay?

No, he can’t be...right?

Maybe it was because of how he felt separated from you and Jay because of him being a separate class.

Yeah, maybe it's because of that.

__

Dear Jake,

I just had the most bizarre day today, and I felt like telling you about it.

It was chemistry period, and we had to be partnered with someone for a lab project. I ended up getting paired with Yeojin. We kinda created this unexpected friendship, which I love. We would crack jokes at each other, tell funny stories, it was so fun to be with her that we had completely forgotten about our project. So now, we both got a detention slip for making an accidental explosion.

How about you? How was your day? I hope it was just as fun as mine. If you feel like the day just wasn't as happy or you're feeling down, just now that it's okay to feel that way because days like these just lasts for 24 hours. It will be all over before you know it and you'll be greeted by another day. Maybe it will be different, and you would be all happy again just like how my day went. Maybe being with you would be my happiest day yet, and I couldn't wait for that day to come. See you soon :)

Love,

Moon

__

"Yeojin!" Jake called, seeing her walk down the opposite way. "Hey, mind if I ask you something?"

"Hey Jake," She greeted him with a smile. "Sure, go ahead."

"Could you perhaps give me any information about your partner in Chemistry?" He had hopes of getting any kind of description about his mysterious sender, but he was instead given a sad frown on Yeojin's face.

"Sorry Jake, but that person told me not to tell you about their information." She gave an apologetic smile. "I wish you all the best in finding them!"

Jake muttered a small "okay," and sighed before walking away, feeling defeated.

Yeojin knew that he was gonna ask about Moon the moment he called her from across the hall. She couldn't wait to tell you about this.

__

"Hey Y/N," A voice said from behind. You turned around to see Jake with his backup hung on his shoulder. He brought his hand up and raked his hair, and you felt your face grow red. Jake is like a gift from the gods. How can someone look so ethereal even if they're just standing there? You could stare at him all day. You couldn't even understand a thing he said until he started waving his hands in front of you.

"Hello?" You blinked multiple times as you were brought back out to reality. You saw Jake's face grow into concern. "Are you okay? spaced out."

"O-oh..No, I'm completely fine." You reassured him, feeling embarrassed. "What were you saying again?"

"I was asking you if you wanted to go to school with me early tomorrow."

Well, shit.

Your eyes started to go wide, and your hands started to go clammy.

"Tomorrow?" You repeated, voice trembling.

'Well, yeah." He pouted his lips, and you felt like melting into a small puddle in your place. Your heart started to pound heavily.

Oh my fucking god, he is so adorable.

"Okay, sure I can go with you tomorrow," You weakly smiled at him, slightly tense.

How we're you going to give him the letter now?

__

"Good Morning," Jake said as he watches you close the gates of your house. It was past five in the morning, and you were a mess.

"Morning," You replied back before running your fingers through your hair, getting rid of any flyaways.

As you started walking your way to the bus stop, Jake kept on glancing towards you from time to time. He knew you were pretty, but since when did you become really beautiful in his eyes?

The walk was pretty quiet, but it was a comfortable silence. For him, mostly.

Meanwhile, you couldn't stop freaking out. You had written a letter the night before, but you don't know how you were going to slip it into his locker without him taking notice. If he saw you, he would know.

"Are you sure you're okay? You've been like this since yesterday," Jake blurted. You looked at him before heaving a sigh.

"It's nothing," You mouthed, suddenly feeling anxious and gloomy.

"Something on your mind?"

"Something like that." It was hopeless. I guess he would have to miss this letter today. It was the first time you skipped a day, and you're feeling guilty that you would have to see Jake's face sadden that he wouldn't receive it today.

As you two stop at the bus stop, Jake looked slightly panicked as he was rummaging through the pockets of his blazer before looking through his bag. "Hey, do you have an extra pen? I left mine at home and I have a quiz today."

You snickered, "Out of all the days, Sim Jake. The same day you have a quiz is the same day you forget your pen."

"Very funny." He scoffed.

As you unzipped your bag to grab your pencil case, a folded piece of paper fell out without you realizing it. When Jake went to pick it up, he notices that it was folded the same way as the letters in his locker. It looked so identical.

Once you already got your pencil case out, you were about to hand it to him when you saw what he was holding that made your body freeze with your hand holding the case in the air.

"Why were one of my letters inside your bag?" He glanced at you, waiting for you to reply.

If you were freaking out before, this is a whole other thing. The thing that you were fearing the most is happening right before you.

"Maybe it fell into my bag yesterday..." You stammered, making up an excuse to look like it was an accident. You were tightly holding onto your pencil case, chanting many curse words in your head as you watch Jake unfold the letter.

"I don't think I've received this one yet," He said before he opened the letter and read it.

You watch as his expression formed into confusion as he reads through the paper. It only took a few moments before something in him clicked that it was you sending him the letters.

"Y/N," He began, and you started quivering in fear.

You should've known this would happen, but you didn't expect it to happen this sooner. In fact, you believed that this wouldn't happen at all. But it did.

"Let me explain," You eventually gave up and accepted fate and watch as your identity as "Moon" be revealed to your crush. You're now exposed so you didn't have any other choice but to explain everything. "Yes, I am Moon. I was the one writing you the letters that you've been getting in your locker."

Jake's face was unreadable. He looked bewildered and puzzled. He was trying to comprehend what was happening right now. All this time, it was you?

"I started crushing on you when we attended that birthday party before. I didn't want to confess my feelings for you because I was scared that you were going to harshly reject me, so I started writing down letters as a way to tell you how I feel about you without making you feel awkward around me." You continued, eyes suddenly taking an interest in your shoes. They were brand new too.

Jake was silent, and you felt your heart crack into pieces. You were mad at yourself for being so careless about it that he ended up finding out about you as his secret admirer. You wanted nothing else but to run back home, lock yourself in your room and cry with your sad playlist on loop.

You were expecting a harsh rejection coming from him, but what surprised was how he took dangerous steps towards you, minimizing the gap between you two. He placed his hand under your chin, forcing you to look up at him.

"I don't plan on rejecting you Y/N," You stare into his eyes as it reflects the sunlight of the early morning. "I'm actually happy that it was you."

You look at him, puzzled. He lowly chuckles under his breath before leaning over to place his lips against yours. It was a light, quick kiss, but it brought you feeling ecstatic. You've dreamed of this moment before, and now that it happened, you thanked your clumsiness.

As he pulled away, you were sure your face was a red mess.

"Thank you," His smile was as bright as the stars in the sky. It was the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. "Thank you for making me like I'm special to someone."

You felt flustered over his words. You were scared that he could hear the sound of your heart pounding loudly. The butterflies in your stomach were going wild, and you felt like this was all a dream.

"So, what am I to you now?" You broke into a smile as he grabs your hand, intertwining your fingers with his.

Jake acted as if he was thinking, "Hm..maybe my best friend still?"

He bursts into a fit of giggles as he sees your smile slowly disappear, replacing it with a look of disbelief. You removed your hand from his and walked at a faster pace away from him.

He ran to match your pace beside you before holding your hand again, "I'm sorry, I won't ever do that again. Is my girl mad at me?"

"Oh my god, it's only five-fifty, Jake." You too broke into laughter over his cheesiness, but your heart fluttered over the thought of Jake calling you his.

__

HERE’S A LITTLE BONUS! since I've made you guys wait for 4 months :(

"What the fuck?" Was the first thing You heard from Jay as you and Jake entered the classroom. All of your classmates were staring at your and his hands intertwined together.

Jay stood in front of you two, crossing his arms together. "Can one of you explain when this happened?" he motioned towards your linking hands. You and Jake smiled at each other before walking away, leaving Jay in a fit of joy, and confusion.

[gatorprompts]

𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐑 𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 .

from  the  2021  album  by  lorde .  drinking  &  drug  references  present .  please  amend  wording  where  required !

THE  PATH .

“ now  i’m  alone  on  a  windswept  island . ” “ if  you’re  looking  for  a  saviour ,  well  that’s  not  me . ” “ you  need  someone  to  take  your  pain  for   you ? ” “ we’re  all  broken  and  sad . ” “ where  are  the  dreams  that  we  had ? ” “ can’t  find  the  dreams  that  we  had . ” “ let’s  hope  the  sun  will  show  us  the  path . ” “ saviour  is  not  me . ” “ i  just  hope  the  sun  will  show  us  the  path . ”

SOLAR  POWER .

“ i  hate  the  winter ,  can’t  stand  the  cold . ” “ i  tend  to  cancel  all  the  plans . ” “ but  when  the  heat  comes ,  something  takes  a  hold . ” “ can  i  kick  it ? ” “ my  boy  behind  me ,  he’s  taking  pictures . ” “ come  one ,  come  all .  i’ll  tell  you  my  secrets . ” “ forget  all  of  the  tears  that  you’ve  cried . ” “ it’s  over . ” “ it’s  a  new  state  of  mind . ” “ are  you  coming ,  my  baby ? ” “ i  throw  my  cellular  device  in  the  water . ” “ can  you  reach  me ? ” “ come  on  and  let  the  bliss  begin . ” “ blink  three  times  when  you  feel  it  kicking  in . ” “ that  solar  power . ”

CALIFORNIA .

“ i  knew  that’s  it ;  i’ll  never  be  the  same . ” “ now  i’ve  spent  thousands  on  you ,  darling . ” “ oh ,  the  hotels  and  jets ,  and  i’d  pay  it  again  to  have  your  golden  body  back  in  my  bed . ” “ i  don’t  miss  the  poison  arrows  aimed  directly  at  my  head . ” “ don’t  want  that  california  love .” “ it  got  hard  to  grow  up  with  your  cool  hand  around  my  neck . ” “ but  every  time  i  smell  tequila ,  god ,  it  goes  up  in  my  mind  again . ” “ it’s  just  a  dream . ” “ i  wanna  wake  up . ”

STONED  AT  THE  NAIL  SALON .

“ i  love  this  life  that  i  have . ” “ i  wonder  sometimes  what  i’m  missing .”  “ ‘cause  all  the  beautiful  girls ,  they  will  fade  like  the  roses . ” “ maybe  i’m  just  stoned  at  the  nail  salon . ” “ got  a  memory  of  waiting  in  your  bed  wearing  only  my  earrings . ” “ we’d  go  dancing  all  over  the  landmines  under  our  town . ” “ but  the  sun  has  to  rise . ” “ i’m  still  crazy  for  you ,  babe . ” “ and  all  the  times  they  will  change ;  it’ll  all  come  around . ” “ oh ,  make  it  good . ” “ spend  all  the  evenings  you  can  with  the  people  who  raised  you . ”

FALLEN  FRUIT .

“ we  had  no  idea  the  dreams  we  had  were  far  too  big . ” “ we  will  walk  together . ” “ you’ll  leave  us  dancing  on  the  fallen  fruit . ” “ we’ll  disappear  in  the  cover  of  the  rain . ” “ took  the  great  minds  and  the  vapers  and  a  pocketful  of  seed . ” “ it’s  time  for  us  to  leave . ” “ how  can  i   love  what  i  know  i  am  gonna  lose ? ” “ don’t  make  me  choose . ”

SECRETS  FROM  A  GIRL  ( WHO’S  SEEN  IT  ALL ) 

“ only  having  two  drinks  then  leaving . ” “ it’s  a  funny  thing . ” “ thought  you’d  never  gain  self  control . ” “ guess  it’s  been  a  while  since  you  last  said  sorry . ” “ crying  in  the  dark  at  your  best  friend’s  party . ” “ growing  up  a  little  at  a  time ,  then  all  at  once . ” “ everyone  wants  the  best  for  you ,  but  you’ve  gotta  want  it  for  yourself . ” “ you  can  take  ‘em  if  you  want  ‘em . ” “ these  are  just  secrets  from  a  girl  who’s  seen  it  all . ” “ remember  all  the  hurt  you  would  feel  when  you  weren’t  desired ? ” “ remember  what  you  thought  was  grief  before  you  god  the  call ? ” “ no  one’s  gonna  feel  the  pain  for  you . ” “ you’re  gonna  love  again ,  so  just  try  staying  open . ” “ and  when  the  time  comes ,  you’ll  fall . ” “ your  dreams  and  inner  visions ,  all  your  mystical  ambitions ;  they  won’t  let  you  down . ” “ do  your  best  to  trust  all  the  rays  of  light . ” “ welcome  to  sadness ;  the  temperature  is  unbearable  until  you  face  it . ” “ your  emotional  baggage  can  be  picked  up  at  carousel  number  two . ” “ please  be  careful ,  so  it  doesn’t  fall  onto  someone  you  love . ” “ you’ll  be  fine . ” “ you  can  stay  as  long  as  you  need  to  get  familiar  with  the  feeling . ”

THE  MAN  WITH  THE  AXE .

“ if  i  had  to  break  it  down ,  i’d  say  it’s  the  way  you  love  to  down . ” “ our  shapes  in  the  dark  are  the  reason  i’ve  stayed . ” “ i  thought  i  was  a  genius . ” “ it’s  starting  to  feel  like  all  i  know  how  to  do  is  put  on  a  suit  and  take  it  away . ” “ they  fill  up  my  nights  and  then  they  float  away . ” “ i  guess  i’ll  always  be  this  way . ” “ swallowed  up  by  the  words  and  halfway  to  space . ” “ but  there ,  by  the  fire ,  you  offered  your  hand .  and  as  i  took  it ,  i  loved  you . ” “ the  man  with  the  axe  and  the  look  in  his  eyes . ” “ we’ve  been  through  so  many  hard  times . ” “ i’m  writing  a  love  song  for  you ,  baby . ”

DOMINOES . 

“ i  heard  that  you  were  doing  yoga . ” “ just  another  phase  you’re  rushing  on  through . ” “ go  all  new  age ,  outrunning  your  blues . ” “ fifty  gleaming  chances  in  a  row ,  then  i  watch  you  flick  them  down  like  dominoes . ” “ must  feel  good  being  mister-start-again . ” “ i  know  a  girl  who  knows  another  girl  who  knows  the  woman  that  you  hurt . ” “ the  whole  world  changes  right  around you . ”

BIG  STAR .

“ everyone  knows  that  you’re  too  good  for  me ,  don’t  they ? ” “ i’m  a  cheater .  i  lie ,  and  i’m  shy . ” “ but  you  like  to  say  hello  to  total  strangers . ” “ i  can’t  believe  i  used  to  stay  inside . ” “ but  every  perfect  summer’s  gotta  say  goodnight . ” “ i  used  to  love  the  party ,  now  i’m  not  alright . ” “ drinking  in  the  dark ,  take  me  home  tonight . ” “ baby  you’re  a  big  star . ” “ wanna  take  your  picture . ” “ i  toss  up  if  it’s  worth  it  now  every  time  i  get  on  a  plane . ” “ i’ve  got  so  much  to  tell  you  and  not  enough  time  to  do  it  in . ” “ i’ll  still  watch  you  run  through  the  winter  light . ”

LEADER  OF  A  NEW  REGIME .

“ wearing  spf  3000  for  the  ultraviolet  rays . ” “ made  it  to  the  island  on  the  last  of  the  outbound  planes . ” “ got  a  trunk  full  of  simone  and  céline ,  and  of  course  my  magazines . ” “ i’m  gonna  live  out  my  days . ” “ won’t  somebody ,  anybody ,  be  the  leader  of  a  new  regime ? ” “ we  need  the  leader  of  a  new  regime . ”

MOOD  RING .

“ can’t  seem  to  fix  my  mood . ” “ today  it’s  as  dark  as  my  roots . ” “ can’t  seem  to  find  what’s  wrong . ”  “ the  whole  world  is  letting  me  down . ” “ don’t  you  think  the  early  2000′s  seem  so  far  away ?”  “ i  can’t  feel  a  thing . ” “ i  keep  looking  at  my  mood  ring . ” “ i’m  tryna  get  well  from  the  inside . ” “ they’ll  have  what  i  need . ” “ we’ll  keep  dancing  till  the  mood  rings  tell  us  how  we’re  feeling . ” “ take  me  to  some  kinda  place ,  anywhere . ” “ watch  the  sun  set ,  look  back  on  my  life . ” “ i  just  wanna  know ,  will  it  be  alright ? ”

OCEANIC  FEELING .

“ it’s  a  blue  day . ” “ when  i  hit  that  water ,  when  it  holds  me ,  i  think  about  my  father  doing  the  same  thing  when  he  was  a  boy . ” “ we  could  go  fishing . ” “ i  think  you’re  an  angel . ” “ you’re  super  cool . ”  “ i  know  you’re  scared . ” “ but  all  will  be  revealed  in  time . ” “ oh ,  look .  the  rays  are  in  the  bay  now . ” “ can  you  hear  the  waves  and  cicadas  all  around ? ” “ i  can  make  anything  real . ” “ brain  so  hot ,  it’s  a  summer  body . ” “ every  day  is  blue  and  never  cloudy . ” “ don’t  look  down . ” “ will  she  split  a  tab  with  her  lover  and  laugh  at  the  stars  like  her  mother ? ” “ i  don’t  need  her  anymore . ” “ i  got  this  power . ” “ i  just  had  to  breathe  out  and  tune  in . ” “ i  know  you’ll  show  me  how . ” “ i’ll  know  when   it’s  time . ”

[equal-shipping]

Why Kaishin Still Holds Up, Even Now.

I FINALLY watched the 23rd Detective Conan and let me tell you what...

Why are there not more episodes with these two working so closely together? Like please?! They got that solved so quickly and just shared information with one another and can I please just have them interact before the series ends pleaaaaaase.

Yet I'm not here for begging. I'm here to rant and cleverly disguise that rant as an essay.

I want to rant about trust in Detective Conan (specifically with a look at Kaishin) and the Enemies turned Rivals turned Friends turned Lovers trope.

[Mild Spoilers Ahead]

Trust as a Driving Force in Detective Conan

If someone asked me what is one of the many driving forces in the DC plot as well as the cornerstone of many of the relationships in DC it would be trust. Most of the characters in DC are living their lives with lies as the foundation of who they present themselves to be.

And here is something that I love about the relationship these two have with one another:

The trust that Shinichi has on Kid was earned and vice versa.

I don't think that Shinichi thinks that Kaito Kid is the most honest person in the world, but he does know that the magician works by a code and he trusts him to not put someone in any immediate danger despite the fact that Kaito Kid does not inherently talk too deep about his heists with him.

Ask yourself this. Where in canon did it say that in Kid's heist nobody gets hurt by Kid? I've read the manga and nowhere does he really say 'this is a safe show for everybody!' Let me tell you where it says it: Nowhere.

So why do we all assume it to be that way? Because even we have trust in our favourite thief that he won't do something to actively hurt someone. Since the story is being told in Shinichi's point of view, most of the times, we can rely on the trust that Shinichi has placed on Kid to not get anyone hurt.

One big example of this would be in the Detective Conan Movie: The Sunflowers of Inferno:

Leaving Ran in Kid's care is a conscious decision he is doing despite the fact that he doesn't know if Kid is even going to make it out. Shinichi loves Ran probably more than he loves himself and he wants her out of danger enough to place trust in someone that, situation wise, has no business whether Ran or Shinichi live or not. I honestly think that even Kid was surprised that Shinichi made that decision.

Now I'm not going to put my shipper goggles when I make this statement and go 'OH MY GOD THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH IT SHOWS IT EVERYWHERE. LOOK AT THE SHOW, STUPID."

But these two have something that not many of the characters in DC have and that is a mutual trust without knowing all the details of their lives.

Kaito happened to guess that Conan was Shinichi and I doubt that Shinichi is going to meet Kuroba Kaito by the end of the series. These two barely know each other but through their interactions just happen to understand each other enough to work together amazingly when thrust into a situation where they have to help each other out.

Which brings me to the second thing I want to talk about.

My Enemy Went From Being My Rival to My Friend to my Lover, What Happens Now?

I want to break into Gosho's house and ask him to please let Kaito Kuroba meet Shinichi Kudou. Like this is such a might need that I'm almost scared of looking forward to the ending of DC because I just have a feeling it isn't going to happen.

I might also ask him why the hell every side character needs a romance subplot but that is neither here nor there.

But now that the ships have been decided and canon has sealed the final nail on everything, I just want to talk about the trope that makes Kaishin just so amazing for me.

If I am remembering my facts right, Magic Kaito came before Detective Conan. Kaito was a realized character, somewhat, and was clearly a very likable chara with a ridiculous high IQ and a secret he couldn't reveal to anybody.

I mean he's a goddamn beautiful man is what I'm trying to say.

When I first read the series I could immediately tell that Aoko was set to be the romantic interest, Gosho really ain't fooling nobody. She seemed cute, extroverted and a girl who seems to really care for Kaito. Of course there was the juicy tidbit of Kaito being the thief her father is hunting down that also kept the relationship interesting.

So I was more than okay with having these two together.

I was already a bit aware of Detective Conan so I was all for the ShinRan as well. The pining, the secrets, the care that Shinichi has for her that transcends the organizations doing!

Also fun fact: Kaito/Aoko was the basis for Shinichi/Ran! Which is why ShinRan is thematically better than Kaito/Aoko but I will not go into that.

So one sad day during quarantine, I decided to rewatch the series to see if I could get any writing inspiration.

Now I don't know if it was quarantine or a change of heart or just me growing up but Gosho's friend trope seemed boring to me the more the episodes continued on. I AM NOT THROWING THE FRIENDSHIP TROPE DOWN, IT IS BEAUTIFUL I STILL SHIP SHINRAN

But I was tired of picking vanilla and wanted to see what else was on the menu.

And as luck would have it, I had decided to watch episode 515: Kaito Kid's Teleportation Magic and fate decides to deliver me a wonderful hit to the heart:

What is it about characters pointing guns at each other that I love so much?

And Shinichi doesn't react like a normal fucking person he just goes:

He knows this man ain't gonna shoot. They have had five interactions before this (if we are going by anime episodes) and through all those interactions Shinichi managed to get to a level of banter with this guy that he hasn't had with any of his other enemies.

If he even considered Kaito Kid an enemy to begin with.

Both Kaito and Shinichi have a mutual respect for each other's skill.

They test each other out in several situations and are pleased when the other figures it out, kinda transitioning their little chases to more of a 'two really smart guys trying to outwit each other' and less of a detective trying to outsmart a thief.

Shinichi enjoys figuring out his magic and Kaito enjoys the challenge of making some of his magic tricks near impossible to figure out. Their friendship is something really special and if they can have it without even knowing the details of each other's life, imagine how strong it would be if they truly met each other face to face.

I don't really want to cross into headcanon territory that would turn them into lovers, lord knows we have more fanfiction to do so, but it is just wonderful to see these two men both living a lie respectively but finding some solace in each other that they can shut their brains off for one second and just...play.

Hell, Kid's heists might be Shinichi's safe place. In those heists he is known as the 'Kid Killer' and not just some brat who happens to figure shit out. His opinion matters in those heists.

And not just to the police, but to Kaito as well.

BUT IM GETTING OFF TOPIC!

I just wanted to show love to this wonderful ship q wq