#i am physically and mentally incapable of several things and in order to prove this

[stelaernis]

✦ ex nihilo nihil.

﹗ a better version, revisited.

iak sø̄kir sorghset æt lius for æn platz iak vēt ænti hvar. altidh ær mik være til oro i þar umkringr. þæt ær ænginþing iak kan gø̄ra for at alt skall bliv rǣt.

⋯ ✦ my existence is a nuisance.

an introspection to online and real life. i have always tried to make peace with the words i set for myself; if i could make myself as small as possible then everything will be alright. people always talk about how you should be original and do things certain ways, preaching toxic positivity and frowning in secret upon those who struggle. ' it's fine to be mentally unwell !! unless you are . . . mentally unwell '.

i refuse to ask for help. why would i need help ? that will just prove that i am incapable and helpless. the more that i express my personal troubles the more i am pointed at as someone who is too much, too selfish, too negative. and i fled. a pathetic attempt like a deer on ice desperate to run away as far my legs will take me. at some point it was tangible enough to pass as bearable. if i cannot do it physically, then i will do so mentally; sever all ties if it means i would not bleed. yet if i am too patient, i am seen as a liar, a submissive, a bother. if i resort to coping and close off pathos i am too cold, too self-absorbed, a bother. if i express anything i am to be guilted, a bother. always a bother, a nuisance. i learned to take it; to be fine with being disrespected, stepped over, taken from, laughed at.

i forcibly taught myself that any ' traumatic ' thing i have experienced is not trauma. it is simply me being overdramatic. i resort my grief and frustration to hysteria. my health issues is simply me being delusional. ' people have it worse. why are you sad ? '. it is my own fault, i must be the issue, therefore i am the problem in all equations. then what ? i remove myself. if i cannot remove myself then i always forced myself to change for the sake of others. but some aspects i cannot. i may wish with my entire being that i was born different so that it would not trouble people, or that i simply never said anything so that it wouldn't be an issue.

everything is my fault. it has to be my fault. it is the only explanation.

my solace was in fragile illustrations. where could i express myself if not there ? i am not unique. i cannot be, i am not allowed to be. i strive for uniform in real life hoping desperately not to be singled out and yet i have no identity i can call my own. even online my existence is a problem for someone. i do not know why or how to stop it. i do not believe in ‘ people care about you, you know that right ? ‘. i do not know how to be without it causing problems for people. i wanted so badly to say that i could have understood because then i could maybe have fought back. but i am constantly absorbing; incessantly building astronomical pressure within and self destructing in order to somehow soothe the pain.

somewhere. somehow. i am nothing adorned in floral and gilded memories and dreams. if i left, would it even have mattered ? my body is an embellished vessel of things i wished to hold dear, lies i told myself architected the being i am. my flesh will be torn and devoured by scavengers, my bones will eventually turn to dust. nothing will be left of me. nothing i say will change anything. no matter how much i force myself to change for the sake of others it’s never enough. i can’t change how i was born, i cannot change how i look or how i act, how i have so many problems. no matter how hard i try i cannot change anymore. i want to give up but i cannot. i do not have the privilege to be able to. people justifiably be upset online but turn out to humble - brag their privilege as a way to make one feel bad. i am not allowed to be sad because then i am too annoying. i am not allowed to celebrate small progresses because then i am bragging. i am not allowed to be happy because then i am ignorant. trauma taught me that i shouldn't feel at all. anything that i say or do will be used against me; the judges sit on anonymous thrones from strangers that do not know me. their eyes peer at the desperate scramble to keep all my shattering pieces. some will laugh and point, others will pick them up for their own use, others will devour them, and i will be nothing.

i don't want to admit it, but i cannot handle being abandoned, i cannot handle change. i promised myself i wouldn't have to go through it again; a horrible lie. ' i used you ' echoes in my mind. ' i became friends and used you so i could have parts of your ✦ as my own '. and all i replied with was

' i know '

[cassandra-the-wonder-whore]

I'm worried, I don't want to die.

I'm worried, I don't want to die but I see no other options.

I'm disabled. Whenever I go to the store or try to maintain a job, I am so overwhelmed with anxiety and emotions that I wake up either in a psych ward or surrounded by paramedics. I cannot count how many times this has happened, genuinely. I have a wife and boyfriend (we are in a polycule) who I love so dearly, I don't want to hurt them or disappear from them. I want to be better, I don't want to die. But I'm genuinely out of options.

I cannot maintain ANY line of work because of this. Whatever work option you have, I guarantee I already tried working it as I'm pushing 30 and have accomplished nothing but a stack of hospital bills with no way to pay them off ever. Every job I work, I end up at the hospital. Every. Single. Time. I'm tired of it. I want so much to be able to work hard and pay for my own things, being incapable of that is worse than any physical malady I've ever experienced.

I wanted to make movies, I wanted to star in them. I was voted most likely to succeed in high school by my drama classmates and theater peers, yet I lived in a rural area where that theater shut down due to no one living there. I lost it. I lost sight of what I wanted. I lived there for so long with no way to escape because I couldn't even afford a bus ticket out of town. Now I feel like my spark is gone.

I hate myself. There is no possible way to accurately describe how much I hate myself. If hate where a physical thing manifested from all the hate a human being could have for something into the size of an orange, then I think that the hate I feel for myself would fill the sun's mass. I see myself as lazy, pathetic, retarded, worthless, wasteful, awful, rude, selfish, and any other thing a person could be that's negative. I feel like a parasite, draining resources from my family and friends because I'm incapable of doing literally any basic thing for myself without feeling intense pain. I see myself as a hateful, scornful man who lies about having genuinely real medical diagnoses despite having official diagnosis for everything. I. HATE. HATE. HATE. HATE. HATE. HATE. HATE. HATE. Myself.

But I'm not even a fucking man.... I'm a trans woman..... my doctors took me off estrogen while I was on it and would never put me back on...... they still to this day and for the past three years have kept saying "oh yeah, we'll definitely put you back on it soon," and it never happens. I have so much dysphoria that it's causing my hair to fall out even faster while it crawls across my body like forests on an earth before the axe existed.

On a similar note, I already tried to get on disability. But because of the country I live in the options are extremely limiting and I was denied. The clause is that I have to prove I had a disorder years before it was ever detected and I was diagnosed with it.

I don't know what to do. I can't work, I feel worthless for it, nothing my loved ones can do makes me feel better, if anything it's worse. I have a community that cares, but I feel like it's out of pity for a sick dog rather than for a human suffering with a series of mental disorders. I desperately want to live, but I can't find a way to convince myself to stay for my wife and bf. I can't bring myself to love the same person they do, I can't forgive myself for being this broken.

My wife pays for everything for me, she takes complete care of me. She insists on doing it, she says she does it because she loves me and knows I'd do the same for her if I was able, which is so fucking true I wanna give her the whole universe on a platter. But it makes me feel so bad because I want that. I can't let go of my ego and accept that I grew up to realize I have severely crippling disorders that limit my functionality. I can't forgive myself for anything I've ever done.

I want to live. In order to not die I have to care for myself, but I am physically incapable and that makes me hate myself so much I need to die. What do I do?

[phandom-against-onision]

You have probably already informed yourself, but here is a masterlist anyway.

MAJOR CONTENT WARNINGS: BLACKFACE, SLURS, RACIST COMMENTS, CHILD PREDATORY COMMENTS, NSFW CONTENT, BEASTIALITY, TRANSPHOBIA, MISHANDLING OF MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, OUTING AND MORE! PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

Shane Dawson has been shown to mock black people on several occasions, saying the n word, doing blackface and creating stereotypical recurring characters.

When beginning on YouTube, Shane had a character called “Shanaynay” who was supposed to be a “ghetto-white girl”. When playing her, Shane often used ghetto stereotypes. She was a recurring character from 2008-2011. Although he has long stopped playing this character, he was continuing to sell the merch and profit off his racism as recently as last year!

He has also done blackface in his character skits, and said the n word as Shanaynay. On one of these occasions, he called an actual black woman a “n*gga bitch monkey woman”. Watch the full video for all occasions.

Here are some additional comments on this matter.

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Shane Dawson has acted inappropriately with and around minors for a long time.

He has probably done this even more than his blackface, and that’s saying something.

This clip, which went around last year, contains him calling a 6-year-old child sexy and admitting to googling CP. This is from his Shane and Friends podcast, which contains a lot of explicit clips.

He has also asked his teenage fan to “show herself” and “shut up and twerk”. This is from 3:55 - 4:29 in this video.

One of the instances really going around on Twitter at the moment is him pretending to jerk off to a picture of the then-11 year old Willow Smith.

A reminder that her family has not forgiven him, so neither should you!

Honestly, there are way too many occasions of this. Please check out this Twitter thread which lists a lot of times he has made inappropriate comments and did inappropriate things.

Another very distasteful thing he has done is claim to solve the murder of an actual six-year-old child, profiting off “speaking” to her spirit.

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Shane Dawson has joked about bestiality on camera multiple times.

This is just straight-up weird. It went around a lot last year, but in case you’ve forgotten, here is a playlist of a few clips. He also rubbed his face in his dog’s crotch but I can’t find a direct video of that by itself.

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Shane Dawson is transphobic as hell.

Watch this full video for the details where he uses trans as an insult and says tr*nny while knowing it is a derogatory term.

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Shane Dawson has promoted and supported terrible people and channels.

This has been a long-time criticism of his viral documentary series, but it is still important to remember.

Let’s start with the problems with this in chronological order. 

His first viral documentary series was The Truth about Tanacon.

Tanacon, to begin with, had several issues. Despite big dreams, it failed spectacularly due to lack of organisation and preparation before the event. There were many last minute changes and it generally lacked several necessities in events. Some issues were disorganised registrations, reserved meet and greets that didn’t go through the system, clashings with VidCon (a bigger event), inappropriate content creators, adversied content creators that didn’t appear, condoms in the goodie bag, lies about free tickets, no food, no room for anything, one hallway, lack of regulation in wristbands, underestimation of guests, overly expensive merch, no cooling system, no fire solutions (meaning they kicked everyone out) and it goes on. 

Despite actual people suffering due to the incompetency of Tana, Shane made her out to be an innocent martyr. This gets even worse as you realise than Tana has been exposed for several racist comments throughout her YouTube career.

Shane is clearly shown to be a terrible interviewer, presenting more as a friend than someone who is willing to find the “truth” of Tanacon. Instead of learning about Tanacon from an unbiased journalist, we get an obscured version of what happened, engineered to sympathise with Tana instead of her admitting to her mistakes.

Yet, this somehow was only the beginning of the problems with the documentary series, as the next one was with Jeffree Starr.

I don’t even know where to begin with the problems with this.

Firstly, Jeffree is perhaps the most problematic YouTuber who is still popular on the website. He has been exposed as racist, sexist, supporting of rapists, terrible to fans, transphobic, ableist, fatphobic, homophobic, insensitive to suicidal people, sexualising of minors, fascist and violent. Check out this thread here for the full details and proof of these claims.

Shane is not stupid. He is aware of these controversies, but has continued to support Jeffree. When a fan called him out, he was extremely rude and was very mad, and supporting all the hate the fan was getting.

The entire documentary series is about him befriending Jeffree, and making him out to be a good person. 

Jeffree should NOT be given a positive platform like this, and he should NOT be continuing to get away with being “cancelled”. So many other YouTubers have been “cancelled” for lesser things, yet Jeffree manages to always get away with it.

The next documentary series was the Jake Paul series. This is perhaps his most controversial documentary series.

Shane is not a therapist, a psychiatrist or a mental health professional. Even though he did consult some people, they are not allowed to diagnose people based on suspicions and videos. Yet, throughout the entire series, he calls Jake Paul a sociopath, and using that label to justify everything he has done.

Jake and Logan have both stirred up some of the biggest controversies on the platform, yet Shane gave them the ability to thrive. Like he did with Tana and Jeffree, he humanised him and edited it to the audience would sympathise with Jake. He has been exposed to scam his young fans, been rude to his neighbours and cast members, made light of serious disorders like anxiety, saying the n word and doing several things for clout, such as “marrying” Tana Mongeau.

As addressed in the documentary series, Alissa Violet, Jake’s ex-girlfriend, has shared her stories of physical abuse in the Team 10 mansion in private life, yet Shane did not fully address this or even mention this to Jake in the episode after. This further proves that Shane is incapable of running a documentary series with such deep themes as he will gloss over them or not address them properly.

This issue is further seen in his documentary with Eugenia Cooney.

A warning that I have not actually seen this as I have heard it contains triggering subject material which I do not wish to subject myself to in interests for my personal mental health - I am only going off the statements of experts and viewers.

In theory, this documentary could have been brilliant. After all, it is two people who have gone/is going through eating disorders and discussing it. However, experts have said that this could be harmful and it is easy to see why.

As much as I do not like Shane, I, and experts, do believe that he had good intentions behind this documentary. However, it probably would have been better if they consulted an expert regularly throughout the documentary when handling a touchy subject. After all, many of Shane’s viewers are young and/or influential, and a correct portrayal of a subject which is terrifying and real to many people watching is very important.

Here is an excerpt from this article about how he handled this:

Other fans were concerned with Cooney's safety, given that she referred to having an eating disorder in the past tense, signaling that she may not be considering further treatment.

"She certainly looks like she is physically healthier, but mentally she still seems like she's struggling a lot and she tries to cover it with her overwhelming positivity," another comment on the video says.

Experts who spoke with INSIDER — and who have not personally treated Cooney — are wary of considering Cooney's treatment a success story.

"When we are in the midst of our eating disorder we are very, very good at wearing masks. We're very good at playing a role that is very convincing and wants to let people know that we're okay," Chevese Turner, the Chief Strategy & Policy Officer for the National Eating Disorders Association, told INSIDER."A month of treatment is just barely scratching the surface of the road to recovery. While she put on a good face and was very chipper and cheerful, I'm not convinced that's what's going on inside. How do any of us know for sure?"

While both experts told INSIDER they believe Dawson had good intentions, they also expressed numerous concerns with the way the video presented the reality of eating disorders, and Cooney's recovery in particular. Turner says having Cooney share her story could be very cathartic, but she worries how much of her appearance was intended to resurrect or preserve her career."What's essentially happening is that people are bullying her online for her looks and her body and that does have an impact, it impacts all of us when that happens. For someone with an eating disorder, the impact can be devastating. I think [Dawson is] trying to help in his own way, but probably the thing that would help the most is her having more time in recovery," Turner said.

"I don't want to speculate, but obviously her success on YouTube is a driving factor to get back to work. None of us know if she's fully capable for that work and I would want to believe that the people around her who care about her most are confident that she can handle it," she continued. "I hope that they'll encourage her to take a break."

Overall, it has been shown that Shane is unfit to handle a documentary series with his evidently extremely biased views, and he should consult more professionals when editing. Although many people would argue that he has good intentions, it is possible to have good intentions while being irresponsible. Shane is aware of his large audience, and his influence over people around the globe. He should be more careful when creating a video with strong themes which many viewers may be suffering through or offended by. 

Either than his documentary series, Shane is also friends with other problematic people outside it - most infamously, Trisha Paytas. 

Trisha Paytas’ brand has become being extremely controversial. However, this doesn’t excuse that she has done and should not normalise her behaviours. She has been proved to be very transphobic and homophobic, as well as racist, ableist, abusive and insensitive to people with mental illnesses and disorders, notably DID. She lives to stir up drama on YouTube and more recently, TikTok. Despite being aware of this, Shane has continued to be close friends with her and excusing what she does because she’s just Trisha.

He has also openly supported far-right people on Twitter, giving harmful conspiracies a platform on his channel.

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Shane Dawson has contributed to destroying growing/popular channels.

When 20-year-old growing YouTuber Bobby Burns released a video giving valid criticism to Shane Dawson, Shane featured him on his channel and pushed him as a heater.

This was not a thing which only happened once. Shane decided to continue to feature him on his channel, branding him as a hater. However, Shane’s dedicated fanbase did not like this and began to send hate to Bobby. Due to the lack of popularity, Shane stopped interacting with Bobby and didn’t feature him in any more videos without attempting to “save his career” like he has done with so many other people.

That is not to say that Bobby is faultless. I am not that familiar with his content, but I have heard that he did contribute to his channel’s demise, which makes sense. However, as a huge content creator, it was irresponsible of Shane to take a growing channel and brand him as a negative hater. He is aware of his audience, and that is important to remember. When he has such a large fanbase, he needs to be more careful with the videos he is showing them, and the characterisations of YouTubers.

However, what Shane is going under fire most recently is his involvement in the James Charles scandal last year.

Despite denial, Shane has been proved to play an important role in the “cancelling” of James last year, encouraging Tati to upload the video and making false accusations of predatory behaviour. This was highly likely done to degrade a competitor’s palette so his collaboration with Jeffree would be more successful.

Recently, he posted these screenshots on Twitter and then deleted the Tweet.

This proves his blatant immaturity. Somehow, James, the youngest of the four YouTubers involved in the scandal, has grown up the most. Shane was a part of the downfall of James, causing him to debate suicide. His defence for this was saying that he “needed to be served a slice of humble pie the size of the fucking Empire State Building”.

James Charles is not faultless, and he should not be made out to be an angel or a martyr in this situation. However, no one deserves to have suicidal thoughts, and anyone who defends this by saying that it was the humbling he needed is disgusting.

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Shane Dawson attempted to out Dan and Phil for views and clout.

As a bisexual man who has opened up about his fear of being outed when he was closeted, he should be ashamed of everything he did to Dan and Phil.

Like many YouTubers at the time, Shane used the Phandom to get views and subscribers. In doing this, he objectified and sexualised Dan to his young and influential audience. Check out this video where he said that he wanted to facefuck Dan in an orgy while watching a video where he just turned 18. In that clip, he also split up Dan and Phil into “cute” and “not cute”. 

It even went to the point where he asked the Psychic Twins about the sexuality of Dan and Phil. In this clip, he accuses them of queerbaiting as well as supporting the Psychic Twins’ invasive and insensitive comments about them not dressing gay enough, diss of them refusing to go on their podcast and outing and stereotyping them. This was as recent as 2017.

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There are actually a lot of other reasons why Shane is under a lot of controversy at the moment. Here were my sources, and some further reading for anyone interested:

THE PROBLEM WITH SHANE DAWSON: a thread

shane dawson sexualizing young children: a thread

One of YouTube's biggest stars made a viral 'documentary' about another YouTuber's eating disorder. Experts say it could be harmful for its subject and audience.

Jake Paul tried to use looting for YouTube views, and is facing charges. These are all the ways the controversial star has stirred up outrage in the past.

Trisha Paytas’ racism

THE PROBLEM WITH JEFFREE STAR: a thread

EVERYTHING WRONG WITH TANACON: an ongoing thread

So what from here? Shane has released an apology video, but words don’t mean anything without action. Here are some suggestions for what he could do to actually show further improvement.

He could stop doing conspiracy videos in the harmful and biased style he is known for, and delete his videos despite the views.

He could stop being friends with such toxic and controversial people.

He could donate his money and time to helping out the #BlackLivesMatter movement, and to black charities/organisations in general. It does not negate what he has done, and it is not in my place to forgive him if he does do that, but it would represent his improvement.

He could formally apologise to the parents and the family of the children he has sexualised.

But he will probably not do that. However, as a hater of cancel culture, I hope that he does improve as a person. It is not my goal to send hate, but to inform people. Sending Shane death threats or insensitive comments are the last things we need. To criticise him for doing that, then doing it yourself is hypocritical and harmful. Instead, we’ll just have to inform ourselves and wait for the future.

[cruelfeline]

This Got Long and I am Sorry

Well, the anti in the Hordak tag deleted their post, which is a huge bummer because it means no fun games for me. But! I have been looking forward to addressing the points in that post all day, and I won’t give up my chance to talk ad nauseam about Hordak. Because y’all know that I love to talk about Hordak.

also I saved the post as a draft prior to it getting deleted so I actually have the whole thing hahaha

However: in order to prevent the original poster from getting harassed for said post, I’m just going to address points via my own summary. Safer that way! So, here we go: addressing some posited reasons that Catra and Hordak are not comparable, plus some claims about why Hordak can’t be treated with the same kindness many like to treat Catra with. 

1. Hordak being a clone of a dictator/not being biologically similar to Catra et. al, acting as he does because of this biology as a clone.

This portion of that post was a little odd because I don’t really understand what the argument was. Perhaps the idea that Hordak literally cannot be anything different than his progenitor due to... cloning science? I’m not sure.

But assuming that that was the intended argument: being a clone essentially means having the same DNA as someone else. That’s all. It does not mean that you are the exact same person (ask some identical twins if they are the same exact person as their sibling). The environment one is raised in, along with epigenetics (changes in individuals due to gene expression rather than DNA), provides infinite variations between individuals that might share the same DNA. So this argument is a little... nonsensical?

Now, I can definitely buy that some of Hordak’s morality might be biology-based; that is a legitimate argument. See this post regarding why an individual like Hordak may not have issues raising children for his army, for example. Mind you, I don’t really see this as an argument in support of him just being an evil, irredeemable bastard; rather, I look at it as an argument against “natural evil” and more in favor of different biological, cultural, and environmental factors creating an alien morality.

2. Hordak created a social system that resulted in all sorts of abuses being visited upon children. He viewed said children as disposable materials for his war.

...yeah, actually, just go to this post again. Honestly, I have zero expectation for Hordak to have any sort of special tenderness towards children. I don’t expect a clone from a society of clones to value children, not because he’s pure evil, but because he comes from a world where children aren’t a thing. Why would he value them?

A creature whose life is so different from ours as to give it a different sense of morals isn’t necessarily evil, even if they do things that we look upon as evil via our morality. Morality is not a universal constant; our evil may be meaningless to an alien, whereas our good might be horrifying to them. It all depends on the creature.

And as far as seeing children as disposable material for war: well, that follows, doesn’t it? Because after all, Hordak is also disposable material for war. Material that was actually disposed of.

3. Hordak was ready to murder Catra for disobeying orders; he’s likely murdered other high ranking officers for the same.

There is no evidence that Hordak has personally murdered anyone, so we’re just going to pass on that. One may speculate all one wants, but unless Hordak presents me with a neatly-written list of all the poor souls he’s slain, I don’t have much to say about this.

However, regarding him being ready to kill Catra: this is a complex situation because it was not as simple as “Catra disobeyed, so she must die.” Catra did not just disobey Hordak; she lied to him. He gave her a chance to come clean, to be trustworthy and loyal, to own up to a mistake, and she lied to him.

This is an issue for a couple of reasons: first, Hordak appears to have a thing about lies. He has a thing about people deceiving him (potentially because, where he comes from, he is truly incapable of lying), about not knowing what people around him are planning. Personally, I think that this is at least somewhat rooted in self-defense: he is physically weak without armor and prone to emotional manipulation by anyone who knows anything remotely intimate about him. Catra proves this point by manipulating the bejeezus out of him during season four, right after showing him that she can kill him anytime she likes by disarming him via crystal-grab. If one of his subordinates is prone to deceiving him, he needs to get rid of that subordinate to protect himself. 

Second, when Catra loses Shadow Weaver, she truly does endanger the whole Horde. Like, Shadow Weaver literally helps the Princesses infiltrate during season three. That is a thing that happens. Hordak isn’t just pulling dumb moments of insubordination from thin air; he elects to eliminate Catra because she has done something that proves to be actually detrimental to the Horde in a serious way.

I don’t mean to say that Hordak is morally correct in sentencing Catra to death, first via Beast Island, then via Crimson waste; what I mean to say is that he enacts an extremely dramatic punishment not due to simple disobedience, but due to Catra being legitimately dangerous to his life and the life of the Horde. It’s still not “good,” but it’s not the same as killing Catra for mouthing off. It’s not some grand confirmation of irredeemable evil; it’s not that simple.

4. Catra is an abused child who has been broken physically, emotionally, and psychologically since she was an infant; Hordak, on the other hand, has no background in abuse. The only bad that has happened to him is being called a defect and sent out to fight and die, which didn’t really matter because he was a clone anyway.

This… this is a sentiment some antis hold that is honestly disturbing to me.

I won’t touch on the Catra portion; all of that is true.

But Hordak… I cannot comprehend how some people don’t seem to understand the true horror of Hordak’s situation. As far as we currently know, as of season four, Hordak was manufactured to be a tool of war. He was never meant to be his own person, despite clearly having the psyche of one. He didn’t even have, couldn’t have, his own name. He was born into this purpose with no way out, no hope for any choice of his own. For pity’s sake, he has a port in the back of his neck that allows him to be erased without a moment’s notice. That is a piece of hardware someone put in him to completely control him against his will. It is a level of bodily autonomy violation suffered by no one else on this show. 

Hordak has essentially no personal self-esteem and no ability to self-validate outside of his identity as Prime’s clone. His entire concept of self-worth is based upon being useful to Prime, to the point that he doesn’t seem to understand that his being thrown away for getting sick is not only not his fault, but morally abhorrent. He is so emotionally dependent on his Brother that, despite severe risk to his own life, he seeks to return to him rather than simply taking Etheria for himself (which is what he would have done if he simply wanted to be a ruler). He needs Prime’s validation, Prime’s approval, that badly. 

And he tries to obtain that approval despite being absolutely terrified of Prime, despite it being very clear to us that there is no way that Prime will ever give it as long as Hordak remains his own self. Despite all of that, Hordak needs it because he was manufactured and programmed and conditioned to worship this terrible creature, and he simply cannot grasp a different way to live. He’s too emotionally sick.

I’m not sure how someone can look at this character and not see what has happened to him, what is happening to him, as abuse. 

5. Hordak only starts to care about anything else when Entrapta enters his life, and he only does so because she validates him; even then, it takes a long time.

This is a perplexing concept to me because… well, yes? Of course he only starts to see things differently when he bonds with Entrapta? Obviously?

Until then, he never had anyone suggest to him that he could be a worthwhile person without having some sort of practical use. He never had a companion to share his vulnerabilities with. He only had his sick ties to Prime.

Perhaps this means to suggest that Hordak should have started building a new life without the help he received from Entrapta? As if people suffering from mental illness and severe emotional pain should just be able to lift themselves up with zero support and fix their whole lives in a snap.

Ailing people tend to need other people’s support to get through their troubles. Hordak not being able to see new possibilities for his life without Entrapta’s help doesn’t say anything negative about him; all it says is that he needed someone’s support to start healing. Just as the overwhelming majority of people do.

6. Catra wants to be in charge so that others can’t hurt her. Hordak wants to be in charge just so he can “be on top,” and he only regrets what occurs with Prime because it means he is no longer dominant.

Hordak as a warlord is actually a very interesting thing to look at. He fails to act in the way that many enthusiastic, traditional warlord characters do, to the point that he seems less into the ruling and more into the obtainment of Prime’s esteem via conquering a planet to prove his worth. Which is, y’know, what’s happening: Hordak doesn’t care about ruling Etheria. He cares about conquering it so he can present it to Prime and prove that he deserves to live. The full post about that is right here.

If Hordak really cared about ruling something, he would have never bothered wasting all of that time building a portal to get in contact with Prime. He would have focused all of his efforts on conquering Etheria and left it at that. His actions only make sense when one understands that he doesn’t actually care about being a tyrannical lord; he cares about showing his Brother that he’s a good boy.

7. Catra feels regret for her actions; Hordak does not. Catra sees herself as an irredeemable bad person and hates herself. Hordak doesn’t believe he needs to be redeemed and just wants to control everything.

Again, I won’t touch Catra here, because that assessment is valid.

Hordak, however: Hordak literally thinks so little of himself that he believes it his own job to prove to his brother that he shouldn’t have been tossed aside to die. He doesn’t see this as a moral failing on Prime’s part. He doesn’t see it as wrong, that he was thrown away because he got sick. He sees it as a problem that it is his responsibility to fix.

Hordak admits to Entrapta that he has doubts: perhaps Prime was right. Perhaps he, Hordak, is a failure. Perhaps it was okay to send him out to die.

Hordak believes Catra’s lies about Entrapta’s “betrayal” because, Twitter Word of God, he views himself as undeserving of friendship.

Whether Hordak believes himself needing redemption is beside the point: the core of Hordak’s story and character arc has nothing to do with being a morally good person. It has to do with learning, understanding, and internalizing that he has his own value beyond what Horde Prime grants him. It has to do with accepting himself as he is, triumphs and shortcomings alike. It has to do with realizing that he has a right to live with or without Prime’s say-so. 

Moral redemption has nothing to do with it because before Hordak has any hope of learning to respect the rights of others, he has to learn to fight for his own.

Am I done? I think I’m done.

Well. Regrettably, I had to summarize this, so the original poster’s words are not verbatim intact, but I think I got the sense of them! Also regrettably, they will likely not see or respond to this, so that chance for active dialogue is gone. But anyone else can respond if they like, including any antis lurking about the tag. Well; if you can slog through this whole thing!

Anyway, in conclusion: Hordak is a sad bastard man. He has just as many painful personal problems as Catra and will forever have all of my sympathy and kindness because I have decided that he deserves it. So there.

[allisondraste]

Asexuality and Romance

And Solavellan 

Hi, hello, it’s Allison again and this week on “Things I would Very Much Like to See Less Of,” I will be addressing the notion that asexual relationships are less meaningful and/or important, than sexual relationships.  I recently took to twitter with my thoughts on how relationships do not require sex to be considered a romance, citing Solavellan as a specific example.  I was pleased with the supportive responses I received; however, there was a pattern of responses that did bother me just a little.

“It is impossible to imagine Solavellan as asexual because it is too [intimate/ passionate/ deep//romantic/ etcetera} to be asexual.”

Or

“Solas is too flirty and suggestive to be asexual or exist within an asexual relationship”

These comments were well-meaning, and in completely good faith, however, they are ultimately acephobic, as they suggest that people who identify as asexual or who exist somewhere on the asexual spectrum cannot have intimate, passionate, deep, romantic relationships with others, or that they must be prudish saints to be considered ace.  This is not only hurtful.  It’s just wrong. For several reasons! I’m gonna just slip those reasons behind a read more to be mindful of others’ feeds. 

1.) “It is impossible to imagine Solavellan as asexual because it is too [whatever] to be asexual.”

Alarming as it is for some folks, particularly in highly sexualized places such as fandom: Sex is not required for romance.  It simply isn’t.  It is, of course, a related feature that some people enjoy (an enjoyable side benefit, if you will *snerk*).  Relationships without sex can be just as deep and meaningful, just as passionate, just as closely bonded, and just as important as those in which sex is involved.  I understand that it is difficult for allosexual people to comprehend this notion since many conflate sex and romance as one and the same.  I do not refute that sex is a beautiful expression of love, but it is not the only way to do so. To address this point, I would like to refer to a popular theory about love developed by Psychologist Robert Sternberg.  This theory is called the Triarchic Theory of Love, and it explains how intimacy, passion, and commitment interact within an interpersonal relationship to then define that relationship.

Intimacy is a feeling of closeness or bondedness (notably not sexual).  Intimacy is established through sharing experiences and personal knowledge.  It is about trust and connectedness.  Intimacy can be shared between family, friends, and lovers and it manifests across physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental, domains.

Passion is often called attraction or chemistry.  Passion is most in line with what most would consider “sex” and “sexuality,” however, attraction can also take the form of physical, romantic, spiritual, emotional, and any other ways one person may be attracted to another.  

Commitment is a choice, or decision of one person to love another person.

According to Sternberg, relationships experience fluidity of each of these three components depending on the type of relationship between individuals as well as across time and situations.  He developed a triangle to illustrate how these components interact (below).  

While all of the different facets are incredibly interesting, and would be a great topic for discussion in another post, I am particularly interested in two types of “love” here to help me prove my point: Romantic and Consummate.

Romantic love, as I previously discussed, is one that is often misconstrued and thought to be unattainable to those who do not have sex.  Yet, according to Sternberg’s theory, the fundamental components of romance are passion (which may or may not be sexual) and intimacy (which is distinctly not sexual).  Therefore depending upon the members of a relationship, and how they experience attraction and closeness, romantic love does not inherently require sex .

Consummate love is considered the highest form of love, as it is the combination of all three components.  Essentially, it is an enduring romantic relationship.  Adding the commitment piece changes nothing about the lack of need for sex to establish the relationship as romantic.  I enjoy the word “consummate” because the most well known definition is a verb, meaning to solidify a marriage by having sex.  However, in this case it simply means “supreme” or “highest order.” Sex is optional.

I think that anyone who is incapable imagining just how Solavellan might be romantic through the progression of deep intimate conversation and understanding, intellectual and emotional attraction, trust, and closeness must not have a very strong imagination.

2.) “Solas is too flirty and suggestive to be asexual or exist within an asexual relationship”

I suppose the hill I will die on will be the one where I just shout from atop it with my megaphone that people who identify as asexual, ace spectrum, demi, and greysexual are not, by default, prudish.  I know… shocking.  If I had a penny for every time someone made a virginal ace joke I would be wealthy.  Asexual, by definition, simply means that one does not experience sexual attraction.  To be on the ace spectrum means that one does not experience sexual attraction in a common fashion.  While some people on the ace spectrum are sex averse or sex repulsed, this is not true for everyone.  Some ace folks are simply indifferent to sex.  Others still are even positive about sex, but do not experience a desire for it like allosexual people do.

Some ace folks love to consume media about the sexual relationships of others, yet want no part of it themselves.  Many ace folks love dirty jokes and vulgar humor.  In fact, sometimes, you may not even be able to tell that we are, in fact asexual by the way that we interact with others.  The fact that Solas has some suggestive humor, enjoys the power, intrigue, and sex permeating the events at Halamshiral, and the fact that he so passionately kisses his love are no indication that he is allo by default. Even if there was a sex scene, that still does not mean that he is not on the ace spectrum.  (Although I’m really glad that there was not a sex scene because it is very nice for those who are sex averse to not have to see it).  

Sometimes, asexual people end up in love with allosexual people.  Those who aren’t averse, may choose to have sex with their partners because they care about them and know that it is important to them. Allosexual partners of an ace spec person may learn other ways of developing intimacy with their loved one because, you know, they love them.  It’s all very intricate and very specific to each individual relationship and not something that can be swept over with a broad brush.

Perhaps you headcanon Solas as allosexual, and that is totally within your right to do so.  However, to say that he “can’t” be ace spectrum is… a limited perspective.  In my own personal headcanon, I imagine him to be demi, and so he would experience sexual attraction, but only to someone he felt a deep emotional connection with.  I know others still who think he is completely ace, and all of these headcanons are completely possible for Solas (and a lot of other characters actually), considering the heterogeneity of the asexual spectrum.

TL;DR

- Love and romance comprise many complicated facets that are developed in different ways, at different times depending on the people and context.

- Sex is not required for romance to exist, though some romance does involve sex.

- Broad generalizations about the sexuality of a character based upon very limited information are never a good idea.   

- It is narrow-minded to believe that a relationship cannot have as much weight without sex.

- It is incorrect to equate asexuality with prudishness, chastity, etc.

- It is totally okay for everyone to  conceptualize Solavellan as they wish, whether it be asexual or otherwise.

- It is NOT okay to tell ace people that the relationship is not capable of being viewed as asexual or that Solas could not possibly be viewed as asexual.  (Surprise, this shred of possible representation is very important to some people)

- This does not just apply to Solavellan.  If you have any questions, comments, concerns, and/or would like any tips about writing asexual relationships/ characters, please feel free to hmu.  My asks are always open and anons are always available. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk, you all have been great. 

[welllpthisishappening]

A Touch of (March) Madness (1/2)

Emma can't quite remember how it started or why it happened, just that it did and she wants to win. Desperately. To prove something. Probably.

Or just to beat Killian. Either or. It doesn't matter.

She's picked her teams and her upsets and she's got a string of trash talk ready for any potential on-court situation. They're not playing the game, but they're playing a game and this one might change everything.

Rating: Teen’ish. Trash talking requires swearing.  Word Count: 9.1K HA.  AN: I owe @laurnorder​ my fic-writing soul, so when she texted me a couple weeks ago and was like...”It’s March, I think you should write basketball fic,” I was like...ok. And because I cannot rationalize Killian Jones playing basketball unless he’s some kind of JJ Reddick-type asshole, here are a lot of words about over-competitive friends and brackets and (maybe my very specific, personal) college basketball opinions. I will be honest and tell you guys this is definitely the most sports niche’y thing I have written and you probably need a general working knowledge of what the NCAA Tournament is, but there’s banter and eventual makeouts because of who I am as a person. Thank you, as always, to @distant-rose​ & @katie-dub​ for being endless sources of support and general fantastic’ness.  Also on Ao3 if that’s how you roll.

Selection Sunday

“Can you just pick?”

“No.” “No? Did you tell me that you can’t pick? Are you physically incapable of making your picks then? Because that would almost explain some of your choices last year.” Killian doesn’t lift his head up, keeping his eyes trained on the small stack of papers in front of him and Emma cannot sigh loudly enough. His lips twitch slightly.

“This is not that hard,” she says and it’s hardly the first time she’s told him that, but it doesn’t seem to be making much of a difference and it’s nearly eleven o’clock at night.

“You say that like you’ve got a title to defend, Swan,” Killian mutters. “This is a tried and true system with several minutes of actual research put into it and long-standing biases that have helped shape the sport for what it is.” “Overflowing with controversy?” Emma asks glibly, jumping onto the edge of the counter and kicking out towards him. “Deception? Disgrace?” “You’re trying to goad me into quoting something, it’s not going to work.”

She sighs, but she absolutely was and his pen sounds impossibly loud in the otherwise relative silence of the apartment. Mary Margaret fell asleep hours ago.

“That’s stupid,” Emma grumbles, drawing a quiet laugh out of Killian and she probably should have left already. She’s not sure why she hasn’t. Well, no, that’s a lie, but her apartment is far enough uptown that it’s probably better if she takes an Uber and she’s fairly certain they’re doing construction on the 2-train anyway.

Killian will probably make her take an Uber.

David’s probably got it on speed dial already.

“You really haven’t picked yet?” Emma continues and Killian shakes his head slowly, eyes darting up and she’s glad she’s already sitting down. “That’s also stupid. What’s your system, then?” “Excuse me?” “You said you had a tried and true system, explain it then, o ye master of competition.” Killian smirks, one eyebrow pulled dangerously high and Emma knows she’s not going to get an answer. “You know, I’m starting to think your compliments are ringing a little hollow there, Swan. I’ll admit that’s disappointing, but, again, I’ve got a title to defend and I’ll probably feel a lot better when I beat you all this year. Again. As per usual.”

He tugs a different pen from behind his ear – Emma dimly remembers something about color coding and possible upsets getting a different ink, but she’s fairly certain that it’s all conjecture just to annoy her. His tongue is pressed into the corner of his mouth and it’s as infuriating as it is distracting because he’s absolutely right.

They’ve been at it for what has felt like actual days, crowding, as tradition dictates, onto the couch in Mary Margaret and David’s apartment for the selection show

And, as tradition dictates, they complain about every single seed and the pros and cons of Syracuse making it again – ”They finished tenth in the ACC, that’s just insulting to the rest of the field. “We know, David.” “What even is an Orange? That’s a fruit. That’s not a mascot. That’s not intimidating me at all.” We know, David.” “If I were Mt. St. Mary’s, I’d sue.” “We know, David.” – and eat a questionable amount of Indian food from the place that is, technically, closer to Killian’s apartment, but he knows their orders by heart now and he got Emma an extra samosa, so she’s not ever going to complain.

Unless it’s about how goddamn long it’s taking him to fill out his bracket.

It’s March and there’s still, somehow, snow on the ground in New York, but Emma’s just brought in some perp she’d been trailing for the last month and she’s got the next week off. It is, officially, the most wonderful time of the year.

And she can’t even really remember how it all started.

Technically, it probably started when she landed in the Nolan house several decades before, a vaguely jaded orphan no one had ever really wanted until Ruth Nolan did and decided, quite quickly, to give Emma the world.

And a brother she didn’t ask for.

Emma and David didn’t get along at first. They argued and bickered and they were the same age and he had that annoying, incredibly nice friend who lived down the street in Storybrooke who, at one point, Emma was convinced could talk to birds.

Emma was a frustrated, bitter eleven-year-old and the new girl again and Storybrooke, as far as she was concerned, was the absolutely worst. Until she tried to run away – and Mary Margaret found her.

It was Mary Margaret’s birthday and Emma couldn’t stomach the idea of another party and another town event at Granny’s and she slipped out the backdoor and...couldn’t get any farther. Mary Margaret showed up, exactly, twenty-seven minutes later to find Emma huddled in the corner of the alley, shoulders shaking and disappointment looming over her like a storm cloud and she did the single most Mary Margaret thing that Mary Margaret had ever done.

She hugged her.

And then went to bring her a slice of ice cream cake.

It got better after that.

Mary Margaret kept smiling and, presumably, talking to birds and Emma stopped picking fights with David just because he was there.

They were some kind of three-headed monster – never more than a few feet apart and speaking in blinks and tilts of heads when they had to and no one was surprised to discover that all three of them applied to the same school.

Xavier.

Naturally. They were already like the three musketeers.

And it was good and great and a slew of other adjectives for three musketeers who’d never really experienced the world, until David got assigned a new roommate second semester freshman year and Emma Swan hated Killian Jones with a passion strong enough to rival several suns.

He hated her right back.

Loudly. With a string of curses that regularly made Mary Margaret blush and left David smacking Killian’s shoulder, mumbling that’s my sister, man under his breath.

He was smug and far too good looking and he did that thing with his eyebrow that made Emma’s stomach twist and she would show up in his room unannounced and laugh when he couldn't quite scrape by a passing grade in that one business class they both took together.

The good looking thing wasn’t important.

And the bracket thing had been Mary Margaret’s idea.

Naturally. Again.

“Maybe if we’re doing something fun, you won’t hate him so much,” Mary Margaret reasoned and Emma hadn’t argued, much, because it was a chance to beat Killian Jones at something and then make sure he never forgot about it for the rest of his life.

Only Killian Jones was, actually, really, really good at picking teams in the goddamn NCAA Tournament.

“He’s some kind of soothsayer, I swear,” Emma shouted, her own bracket torn to shreds  and she still hated him, but he was always around and Mary Margaret and David had started acknowledging the longing looks they kept sending each other’s way that January.

“I think he’s got an algorithm or something,” David muttered.

Emma spun on the spot, glaring metaphorical daggers because she didn’t have any real daggers, and Killian held his hands up in mock surrender.

“There’s no algorithm,” he said. “Just a very good gut instinct and proclivity to being right.”

“God, you’re such an ass,” Emma groaned. “I bet you’re the only person in the country who picked that upset.” He shrugged.

And defended his inaugural title. For three years straight.

No one ever asked if they wanted to keep going, even after college and jobs and life, but no one asked if they all wanted to move to New York City either.

It just kind of happened.

And Emma just kind of stopped hating Killian.

He got under her skin. Or something less disgusting.

“Swan,” Killian says, jerking her out of memories and back to reality and she has no idea where she actually put her bracket.

“Yeah,” she mumbles and he’s smiling at her. Not smirking. No stupid eyebrow thing. A real, genuine smile and she wonders when that started making her breath catch and her eyes widen just a bit. “Here,” she adds when he stands up, eyeing her like she’s lost her mind. She might have. It’s probably with her bracket.

“I can see that. Although here seems a bit more physical and a hell of a lot less mental.” “Was that an insult? That sounded incredibly insulting.” Killian shakes his head, crossing the tiny space masquerading as a kitchen in three steps and his hand lands on her knee like there are magnets involved. “Not an insult,” he promises. “A genuine show of concern when you look like you’re trying to teleport back home.” “None of these words are making sense the way you’re saying them.” “Sounds like a sign.” “And an insult,” Emma hisses, kicking him in the shin. That feels a bit more normal. “Are you finally done?” “Mmhm.” “That’s awfully smug.” There’s the eyebrow arch.

“You’ve got quite a few opinions on my bracket, Swan,” Killian says and he’s started tapping his fingers on her jeans. Emma swallows. “I think it’s a defense mechanism.” “I think you’re refusing to talk about your so-called methods for picking teams because you know your good luck has finally run out and you’re nervous about what will happen if you don’t live up to expectations.”

She regrets the words as soon as they’re out of her mouth, Killian’s fingers going deathly still when her mouth snaps closed and Emma bites her tongue to stop herself from doing anything else quite that stupid – like crying while sitting on the counter in David and Mary Margaret’s apartment.

And maybe she knows exactly when she stopped hating Killian.

“Purdue,” he says, ducking into her eye line and Emma has to blink, at least, sixty-seven times because the whole thing is ridiculous.

“What?” “Purdue. I picked Purdue to win.” “For real?” Killian tilts his head. “Why would I lie about that?” “I honestly have no idea, “ Emma admits. “But I’ve kind of lost track of the conversation and...honestly, Purdue though?” “You have something against Purdue, Swan?”

“No,” she snaps, shoving lightly at his shoulder and his gasps like it actually hurt. His hand is still on her knee. “But, like, why?” “That seems to fall decidedly in the realm of giving away my plan.”

Emma groans loudly, drawing a set of footsteps that were absolutely eavesdropping on the conversation and David hands her the bracket she filled out hours ago as soon as he’s within arms reach.

Killian’s hand is gone.

That’s fine. It’s fine. Cool. Totally cool. God, she can’t believe she just thought that.  

“You’re going homer again, this year, huh, Em?” David asks, phone already out and she nods so he can order her the goddamn Uber.

She scowls, eyes darting Killian’s direction before she can stop herself and he’s trying very hard not to smirk at her. It’s not really working.

“I am going with a potential winner this year,” Emma corrects archly. “If it just so happens that I pick our alma mater, then, you know, so be it. It’s their year.” “Did the boosters get you to say that?” “How far do you have them going?” "Far.” “That’s not an answer,” she mutters, but it sounds more like a growl and they’re definitely going to wake Mary Margaret up at some point. “When did we all decide to descend into secrecy over our brackets? M’s told me as she was filling hers out.” “That’s because Mary Margaret is not trying to win,” Killian points out. One of the pens is back behind his ear, arms crossed lightly over his chest and there’s really not enough room for all of them in this quasi-kitchen.

Emma rolls her eyes, but it’s probably true and Mary Margaret regularly makes her picks based on nicknames, color schemes and the overall creepiness of mascots.

She’s never picked Providence. Ever.

“Whatever,” Emma mutters. “We’ve all reached a brand-new level of super strange competitiveness. I picked Xavier to win, not just because we all possess degrees from that school and they’ve now started calling asking for money, which I think is a sign of actual adulthood, but because they’ve got a good team this year and I genuinely believe they can win a national championship.”

“Because it’s their year, right?” David asks and he can’t quite keep the laughter out of his voice. Emma flips him off. “Honestly though, Em, tell me something. Did you...did you rehearse that?” “Oh my God, you’re even worse than him.”

She jerks her hand in Killian’s direction and he makes a good show of being affronted, but there’s something lingering just on the edge of his expression that makes her wonder all sorts of things she shouldn’t even be thinking.

“These insults, Swan,” Killian grins. “And you do remember that Xavier lost to Villanova twice this year, right?”

“Villanova lost to St. John’s. At home. When they were the top team in the country.” “That’s a good point,” David mumbles, but Killian and Emma both wave him off and this is almost, painfully, normal. “Xavier still won the Big East outright,” she argues. “First time in like...I don’t know, whatever it was historic.” “Not the tournament and if you’re going to bring up facts, you need them to be accurate. That’s arguing one-oh-one..” “Why are you so against a Xavier run?” “I’m not,” he says. “I’m simply pointing out that Xavier has a habit of fucking up once they get to the later rounds. It happens every year.” “If you say tried and true I will get off this counter and punch you right in the face.”

Killian laughs, head thrown back and shoulders shaking and Mary Margaret makes noise from wherever she fell asleep. Hours ago. “I wasn’t going to,” he says lightly and maybe Emma’s got food poisoning from that extra samosa. It would explain whatever is going on with her brain and her thought processes and whatever her whole being does as soon as Killian’s hand lands on her knee. “These are just facts, Swan. And David picked Arizona.” “What?” Emma gasps, laughing as well when David starts cursing Killian to several different underworlds. “Oh my God, David, seriously? You want to talk about a team that disappoints regularly. Plus all that off-court shit! No way they even make the Sweet 16.” “They’ve got the best freshman in the country,” David reasons. “This is a sound choice. And I’m doing some kind of thing this year.”

Mary Margaret pads into the kitchen when Emma can’t bring herself to stop laughing, a blanket tugged tightly around her shoulders and sleep clinging to every one of her movements. “It’s a Wildcat movement,” she mumbles. “He’s picking Wildcat teams this year.” “What?” Emma asks. Killian is barely standing up.

“Wildcats. He's picking as many Wildcats teams because he thinks it’s funny.” “And because it makes sense,” David adds sharply, rolling his shoulder when Emma grips it to try and stay upright. “Or it would have if I’d been able to get it to work, but Midwest doesn’t have any Wildcats--” “What team,” Emma interrupts and Mary Margaret drops her blanket when she starts laughing, shouting back Wildcats on cue.

David rolls his eyes. “Anyway,” he continues pointedly. “I got three of four, so that’s a majority and it’s totally going to work because an Arizona and Villanova final is not only probable, I’m guaranteeing it.” “Wow, talking a big game.” “I’m confident. That’s all. And I’m tired of Jones winning every goddamn year, so I’m willing to do whatever it takes. “It’s not going to work,” Killian says easily and the other pen is in his back pocket. Emma can feel Mary Margaret staring at her. “I’ve got a system. And I’ve got consistency on my side. And nicknames or mascots or whatever don’t have anything to do with it.”

“Yeah, yeah, so you’re always saying,” David grumbles. “You know what? Get out of my apartment and take your research with you because I’m not walking down the hall to put that in the garbage disposal.” “I mean, it should probably be recycling, right?” Emma asks, sliding off the counter and she’s suddenly far closer to Killian that she anticipated. She’s ninety-two percent positive he moved.

“You can get out of my apartment too. Your car is here, anyway.” “Ok, well, that’s rude, but thanks for the ride. Go back to sleep, M’s.”

Mary Margaret salutes, already halfway down the hallway and Emma glances Killian’s direction before she can lose her nerve. “You want a ride?” He blinks, like he’s trying to make sure he heard her right, and Emma chews on the inside of her lip, willing her stomach to act like an actual part of human anatomy.

He nods before he answers.

“Yeah, sure, Swan,” Killian says, grabbing his stack of paperwork and his ridiculous number of pens and they both sit in the backseat of an Uber on their way uptown.

They don’t say anything for the first dozen or so blocks, a companionable silence Emma never would have considered possible when she was a sophomore in college and spent most of her free time trying to figure out what Killian’s deal was.

She’s still not entirely sure she knows.

It’s a work in progress.

Or something.

Whatever.

“I can hear you thinking,” Killian says, gaze flitting her direction. “It’s very loud.” Emma bites her lip – mostly so she won’t smile and he won’t lord that over her for the rest of time. “Is it distracting?” she asks, but it feels like a much bigger question.

“No. Just general curiosity.”

“Because you claim to hear my thoughts. That’s...you know that’s weird, right?” “Only because you’re making it weird,” Killian challenges and they’re at his apartment already. Emma’s not disappointed by that. God, she needs to sleep for the entire week she’s off. She can’t. She’s got basketball to watch.

And a bracket to defend.

“God,” Emma sighs, rolling her head on the back of the seat and top of her hair is damp from resting on the window. “Do you have to be right about absolutely everything? Or do you just get a kick out of arguing with me?” “Did you just use the phrase get a kick, Swan? That’s...did we teleport in this Uber?” “Get out.” “I’m asking a genuine question.” “And I’m telling you to get out.”

He blinks, lips pressed together tightly enough that it’s difficult to make them out in the dim light from the street lamps and the Uber driver is getting more and more pissed off by the second. And suddenly it’s like that day and Killian’s face does something stupid, softens or settles more into him, like he’s seeing Emma for the first time and pleasantly surprised to find her there.

She’s going to bite her lip in half.

“You know I’ve got Friday off,” he says and maybe they did teleport.

Emma lowers her eyebrows, tilting her slightly and if he doesn’t stop smiling at her she’s going to get out of the Uber and walk the rest of the way home. “What does that mean?” “Are you confused by the words or…” “God, stop being a dick!”

The Uber driver snorts.

Killian glares at him.

“I’m saying that I know you caught that guy last week and now August requires you to take at least five days off to recoup or make sure you actually get the kind of sleep a human being needs to function. Which means that you, presumably, will be home screaming at your TV--” “--I don’t scream at my TV.”

“Swan, sometimes you get up and actually try and play defense with the team. It might be my favorite thing you do.” “Ok, well, if this is just some twisted way for you to make fun of my questionable interest in college basketball then…”

Emma trails off when she notices the look on his face – another expression she’ll probably file away in that metaphorical file she’s absolutely, positively not keeping because they’re kind of friends now and that’s cool.

She can’t believe she just thought the word cool.

“What?” Emma asks, the word coming out like a whisper and her lip is bleeding.

“I wouldn’t do that, Swan.

“Anymore.” He shakes his head, the muscles in his throat moving when he swallows and maybe whatever place they’ve teleported to has slightly brighter street lamps because the blue in his eyes seems to get sharper when he looks up at her.

“No,” Killian says. “Not anymore.” “So...was there an offer or an invitation in there or…” He grins. “I’ve got Friday off and I know you’ve got Friday off and I’ve got a better takeout selection than you do.” “See, you’ve just gotta add in those last, little insults don’t you?”

“You blink quicker when you get angry, did you know that?”

Emma shoves at his shoulder, like that will do anything at all, but he’s always had impossibly quick reflexes and she’s not even surprised when his fingers wrap around her wrist. She’s a bit more surprised by whatever her heart does in response and she’s fairly certain it’s the most he’s ever touched her in a 24-hour span. Or, like, a two-hour span.

“You want me to come here on Friday so we can watch basketball together?” Emma asks skeptically. Killian’s nodding before she can get the question out, eyes a hint wider when he tries to speak without actually speaking. “I think your team plays on Friday.” “I’m aware of the schedule, Swan. Xavier does too.” “It’s weird that you’ve memorized it already.” He hums noncommittally, but he really does have better takeout near his apartment and an exceptionally good coffee maker that Emma will undoubtedly use several times and, well, it might be kind of nice.

They’re friends now.

They spend time together. On their own. It’ll be fine.

Cool. It’ll be cool. Cool, cool, cool.

“Was anyone actually going to get out of the car or….” the Uber driver starts and Emma can’t quite mask her laugh. “Because I’ve got other fares I could be taking and…” “Yeah, yeah, I’m leaving,” Killian promises, twisting behind him to open the door and it’s fucking freezing outside. He glances back at Emma, one leg on the sidewalk already. “Friday?” There’s something just on the edge of that too, but Emma can’t quite figure it out and the Uber driver is the single most impatient person on the planet. She nods before she can come up with any of the reasons it will not be cool.

“Yeah,” she says. “Friday.”

He flashes her a smile, rolling his eyes at whatever noise the Uber driver makes when he kicks at the door and Emma’s fairly positive she doesn’t mishear him when he leaves, the quiet see you later, love ringing in her ears for the rest of the night.

  The Play-In Games

David Nolan, Tuesday, 7:53 p.m.: Did we know that LIU Brooklyn was in the tournament? Emma Swan, 7:54 p.m.: It’s a play-in game it doesn’t count.

David Nolan, 7:55 p.m.: Also, what channel is TruTV?

Emma Swan, 7:55 p.m.: I’ll repeat myself.

Mary Margaret Blanchard, 7:56 p.m.: They’re playing a game, it definitely counts! They’re doing their best. And almost winning, kind of. Emma Swan, 7:57 p.m.: They are not almost winning. Where is LIU in Brooklyn? Shouldn’t it be...on Long Island.

Emma Swan, 8 p.m.: ????

Killian Jones, 8:01 p.m.: It’s right near Barclays.

Emma Swan, 8:03 p.m.: Why do you know that? Who knows that? No one. No one knows that.

Killian Jones, 8:04 p.m.: I know everything. You know this, Swan.

David Nolan, 8:07 p.m.: Guys. Seriously. This is a group text.

Emma Swan, 8:08 p.m.: Did you pick them?

Emma Swan, 8:15 p.m.: ……. Honestly, Jones? The tournament has started you can tell us who you picked.

Emma Swan, 8:17 p.m.: Killian, seriously!

David Nolan, 8:18 p.m.: This. Is. A. Group. Text.  

Emma scowls when LIU Brooklyn shoots like garbage in the second half and loses its opening-round game and she’s already picked one team wrong, which doesn’t seem like a very good sign. Her phone dings almost immediately.

Killian Jones, 8:59 p.m.: I didn’t pick them. Did you?

Blackbirds are stupid mascots.

David Nolan, Wednesday, 11:37 p.m.: WHAT THE FUCK IS AN ORANGE, ANYWAY?!?

Killian Jones, 11:38 p.m.: Bahahahahahahahahaha.

David Nolan, 11:40 p.m.: Screw you, Killian.

Emma Swan, 11:42 p.m.: Did you put a period after your maniacal laughter?

Killian Jones, 11:44 p.m.: Proper punctuation is important when you’re lording your basketball-picking ability over your lesser competition, Swan. And I take offense at maniacal. It was reserved, at worst.

Emma Swan, 11:44 p.m.: Think very highly of yourself, don’t you?

Killian Jones, 11:45 p.m.: The Pac-12 is garbage. ASU was never going to win. Syracuse plays in the ACC. Strength of schedule is important.

Killian Jones, 11:45 p.m.: Plus, no college kid knows how to play against a zone.

Emma Swan, 11:46 p.m.: You shoot out of it. That’s just...that’s basic.

Killian Jones, 11:47 p.m.: Tell Arizona State that.

David Nolan, 11:49 p.m.: This. Is. A. Group. Text.

 The First Round, Thursday, Day One

Emma sinks into the corner of her couch, hair still a bit damp from the shower she probably should have taken hours before, but she’s officially in basketball mode and basketball mode requires her to be as lazy as humanly possible while watching college-age kids be the exact opposite for the next twelve hours.

It sounds weirder out loud than it does in her head.

LIU Brooklyn was the only misstep in her First Four picks and, really, that was more of a technicality because most brackets don’t require First Four picks, but they’re all a bunch of over-competitive weirdos and they do it anyway.

She still has no idea what Killian’s bracket looks like.

It’s probably frustratingly accurate, but there are sixteen games that day which means there are sixteen chances for him to be wrong, which is really all she wants.

And maybe she’s the most competitive weirdo of all.

Because Emma really, really likes winning and she liked it a hell of a lot more the one time she beat Killian the first March after undergrad, but she doesn’t hate Killian nearly as much as she did before.

It's a very confusing sentence and a very confusing thought and she needs to watch some of these games to distract her from whatever her mind has been doing over the last few days – replaying that Uber ride and the slight shake in his voice when he asked about Friday, like he was scared she’d say no or like, maybe, it meant something good and big and important and it felt a bit like déjà vu because his voice had done the same, exact thing when she decided she didn’t hate him.

He’d just defended his championship, making sure to point it out as often and loudly as possible, a few days into April and Emma desperately needed the Benadryl she knew David kept in a box under his bed in the apartment just off campus.

She considered going back to her own room – only a few blocks away with her own stock of Benadryl because pollen seemed to exist only to ruin her life every April – but Emma was fairly convinced her nose was about to fall off and she was walking through the door before she even realized she’d taken her key out.

And Killian nearly ran her over as soon as she walked through the threshold.

“Swan,” he slurred, eyes a bit glazed and an actual bottle in his hand. He wobbled when he stopped to glare at her, a sneer to his lips that had become almost too familiar at that point. “What are you doing here?” Emma shook her head, kicking back to close the door and Killian winced when it slammed into its frame. “What the hell is wrong with you?” she asked, reaching out to tug the bottle out of his hand. He tightened his hold. “It’s like...two in the afternoon.” “Ah, well, then we’ve clearly fallen behind schedule. You want a drink, love? There’s a few options in the kitchen, although I’m not willing to share the rum.” “Not your love,” she said, mostly out of habit and he stumbled when she took another step towards him. “Seriously, what the hell is going on with you? You can’t even stand up straight.”

“That, my dear, is the point.” Emma glared, pressing her tongue on the inside of her cheek and it probably would have been intimidating if she didn’t sneeze very loudly two seconds later. It shook through whole body, leaving her sniffling and red-nosed and Killian was staring at her like she’d been replaced with a cyborg as soon as she lifted her head up.

“What?” Emma grumbled, sniffling again.

Killian opened his mouth, only to close it three more times and Emma realized, rather suddenly, that they’d never really had a conversation about….anything. They’d circled around each other for more than a year and had almost gotten the hang of small talk when David and Mary Margaret started making eyes at each other, but there was no depth to any of it.

She’d never asked about his hand – the prosthetic at the end of his left arm catching her attention the very first time she met him, but David had glared at her and the questions got caught in her throat and no one ever gave her an explanation. She’d never even really asked how he ended up at Xavier or why he was a year older than all of them with far fewer credits and he kept taking six classes a semester.

She hadn’t really ever bothered.

That felt decidedly….wrong.

Killian had, simply, come blazing into their lives like some kind of dying star or possibly a comet and Emma didn’t know enough about space to make those kinds of comparisons, but the dying part seemed particularly apt at the moment.

“David’s not here,” Killian said softly, a note of something that might have been disappointment in his voice. “He and Mary Margaret had class and then they were going somewhere to be painfully adorable so…” “So you decided to drink your entire alcohol supply?” “No, no, that had nothing to do with their proclivity to romance. Quite the opposite, in fact.” “That was a lot of very fancy words for a guy who’s having a difficult time staying upright,” Emma pointed out, tapping her finger lightly on his chest and it looked like he’d frozen. “Honestly, you’re really not going to tell me what’s going on with you?” Killian tilted his head, gaze a hint sharper than it had been a moment before and Emma bit her lip. Tightly. “It’s not exactly like we’re friends, Swan. Or even acquaintances, really. You tolerate at me, at best.”

“Ok, well, you don’t really like me either,” Emma argued. “You think I’m…” “What? Please. Tell me exactly what I think about you.”

She stomped her foot, growling low in the back of her throat and Killian did something absolutely ridiculous with his eyebrows. “Fine, fine,” she hissed. “You want to get blasted in the middle of the afternoon, fine. I couldn't care less. I came here to steal some of David’s allergy medicine because the world is attacking me. So I will go get that and then you can get back to your one-person pity party of whatever it is you’re being pitiful about.”

Emma nodded once, like that had won whatever argument they’d been staging, stepping around him towards David’s room, but she barely made it one step before Killian’s fingers wrapped around her shoulder.

“Did you say the world was attacking you?” he asked and it was the last question she expected.

“Yeah. I’m, uh...super allergic to pollen. Spring is, like, my own personal brand of hell.” Killian hummed, taking another swig of whatever was in the bottle – the label had peeled off at some point – before offering it to her. “It’s almost better than Benadryl,” he said and it felt like a much bigger offer.

She took the bottle and the rum – it was rum, incredibly good rum that probably cost a questionable amount of money – shivering when it burned the back of her throat and settled in the pit of her stomach and it almost felt like she could breathe a little better.

“He really never told you?” Killian continued softly. “David, I mean. He knows...the whole thing.” Emma shook her head. “David wouldn’t do that. Not if you didn’t want him to.” “Well, I mean, they’re dead, so it’s not as if they’re going to be offended by me talking about them behind their back.” “What?” “There really is almost a reasonable explanation for the alcohol.”

“Ok,” Emma muttered, nodding in the direction of the second-hand couch in the corner of the room. “But we really should sit down for this because you honestly look like shit and I don’t know that I’ll be able to do anything if you fall over.” Killian scoffed, but he didn’t argue and they spent the next forty-six and a half minutes sitting on opposite sides of the couch, passing the bottle back and forth and he told her everything.

He told her about Liam and Milah and the accident that took both of them at the same time and how he was fairly positive it was some kind of absurd joke when he woke up in the hospital bed, eighteen years old with one less hand than he expected.

He told her about getting out of that town and trying to decide what do next and how to honor both of them without living in the past.

It wasn’t easy, but there were classes and loans and his brother always thought Killian could do anything, so he figured he might as well. He ended up at Xavier by chance, a scholarship that just sort of landed in his lap and a business program that was good and great and a slew of other adjectives that might have included insane because--

“Liam would have been thirty today,” Killian said, taking his time on the words and he kept staring at a piece of string on the one couch cushion in between them. “And he would have hated that I did…” He waved his hand through the air, as if that was enough description, smiling softly when Emma pulled the bottle back to her side of the couch. “But I woke up this morning and I got another shit grade in that marketing class and I can’t…” “So then don’t,” Emma shrugged. Her words felt heavy, hanging on the tip of her tongue and jumbling in the air and Killian stared at her like she was that cyborg again.

“What?”

“Don’t,” she repeated. “Do something else.” “Like...what?” “Anything. You’re minoring in something, right?” Killian nodded slowly, groaning when she wouldn’t relinquish control of the bottle. They’d put quite a dent in it. “Classics,” he said. “You know...Greeks and myths and that kind of thing.” “So do that.” “That’s not really how it works, Swan. And this is sounding incredibly out of character. I wasn’t aware you were so positive.” “Ok, first of all, that’s rude and, second of all, I have known Mary Margaret for nearly a decade now, so some of that is bound to rub off. And third of--” “--There’s a third thing?” Killian asked incredulously and he grinned when Emma stuck her tongue out.

“There would be if you’d let me finish,” she muttered. “Everything you’ve just told me about your brother makes it seem like he was Mary Margaret levels of supportive, right?” Killian hummed again. Emma rolled her eyes. “So then he thought you should major in business because, what, there were careers in it?” Killian shrugged.

“God, you’re the most frustrating drunk in the world, you know that? We’ll go with that theory for now because there are also jobs in the classics and you could...I don’t know, you could teach or something.” “What?” “We are going in circles.” Killian shook his head, like he was trying to work through some more fog or metaphorical cobwebs and Emma felt the muscles in her face shift. She was smiling.

She was smiling at him.

“I just think you could do it,” she said, absolutely ignoring whatever Killian’s entire being did as soon as the words fell out of her. She took another swig of rum. “And I bet your brother would have too. You shouldn’t have to be worried about a marketing grade.”

He didn’t say anything for several days, at least, and Emma had never been particularly good at patience and she wasn’t entirely prepared for--

“I’m sorry,” Killian whispered, leaning forward to rest his hand on one of her knees. Emma suddenly felt far more drunk than she was. “For, well, for all of it. Being a dick and...being a dick.”

Emma’s smile widened, ducking her head and she sneezed when her hair brushed her nose. “Yeah, me too,” she said. “Truce?” She stuck her hand out and, eventually, she’d blame the rum and whatever he was doing with his face, but in the moment it made a hell of a lot of sense and Killian’s fingers were warm.

“Truce,” he echoed.

Emma never got the Benadryl, but they finished the rum and Mary Margaret’s laughter woke both of them up where they’d fallen asleep on the couch.

He changed his major two days later.

And, now, Emma can’t stop thinking about that day and what it meant or, maybe, means because things got better, but Killian is still David’s friend and Emma is still David’s sister and she’s definitely thinking about this way too much.

Particularly when there’s an upset brewing.

“Oh shit,” Emma breathes, reaching for her phone because she totally picked this one. She absolutely picked this one. “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon,” she mutters and patience is still not one of her strong suits.

He picks up on the third ring.

“What?” Killian whispers. “Is someone dead?” Emma nearly drops her phone. “No, what? Why?” “Swan, it is four in the afternoon. I have class. I am in class.” “Why did you answer your phone, then?” “You called me, love,” he says like it’s obvious and it kind of is and it makes every single one of her internal organs do something stupid. “So just to double check. No one is dead? David and Mary Margaret are fine?” “Presumably.” “Swan.” “Yes,” Emma sighs. “David and Mary Margaret are both fine. I just...well, it sounds stupid now. Are you actually in class? Aren’t there rules about that?”

“In a normal class, sure, but I’m a fantastic professor and my rules are much cooler than a normal class. And,” he adds, ignoring her not-so-quiet laughter completely. “It’s March, Swan. Early’ish March. There are midterms, you know.”

“Is that why you have tomorrow off?” “Mmmhmmm.”

“Oh, shit, does it make me a bad friend that I didn’t know that?” “I don’t expect you to have my schedule memorized, love.”

That’s two loves in the same conversation and, maybe, three in the last week and it’s not like Emma’s counting, but she isn’t not counting and--

“Yeah, but I feel like I should know that,” she continues. “Are you talking on the phone with me in the middle of a midterm? Because that’s also kind of shitty.” “I went outside. Figured if there was some kind of death notice imminent then I should be away from the prying eyes of undergrads.” “That is...morbid.” Killian laughs and Emma’s organs are just, like, on fire at that point. “I’ve been reading a lot of essays about the Underworld recently. It’s put me in a mood.” “Maybe I should bring more alcohol tomorrow.” “I wouldn’t say no, although we probably should wait until the later games for that, don’t you think?”

“Look at you, a picture of responsibility,” Emma says and her cheeks are starting to ache. She refuses to acknowledge the symmetry of her thoughts and their current conversation and he never brought it up again.  

He just changed majors and started taking more classes and went to grad school and he had a satchel now. She teased him about it mercilessly.

“Sometimes,” Killian admits. "Why’d you call, Swan?” “Did you pick Loyola Chicago?”

“Excuse me?” “First-round games. Loyola Chicago. Did you pick them beating Miami because they just beat Miami. I know you didn’t pick this so--” “--Of course I did.”

Emma blinks. “What?” “I definitely picked them. I think they could make a run. How’d they win?” “No, no, you don’t get that,” Emma mutters and he’s laughing again, free and easy and she wishes he were there. So she could kick him. Or something else. Whatever. “You can’t be serious. What the fuck is Loyola Chicago even?” “Presumably it’s a school,” he reasons. “And you might want to watch that, Swan because my research shows they’ve got some kind of nun on their side and I don’t think you want to jinx yourself like that.” “I’m going to murder you.” “You’ve just jinxed it.”

Emma makes some kind of noise in the back of her throat and it’s not particularly human, but it draws another laugh out of Killian and at least she also picked the upset. “I can’t believe you researched Loyola Chicago,” she says. “Why?” “Swan, we’ve been over this, there’s a system and it’s tried and true and I’m sharing it with you. Also Miami has been streaky all season. That was an easy upset.”

“Of course it was.” “Anything else to report?” “Don’t you have some kind of internal update that lets you know when your bracket stays perfect? That way your ego never takes a hit?” “That’s rude, Swan. And, no, I don’t. C’mon, update me.”

She does – spends the next five minutes giving him a run down of the early games and the pros and cons of Trae Young leaving Oklahoma after his first year, of which there are many because his jump shot is off sometimes, Killian, you know it, I know it, NBA front office knows it and she’s almost surprised when he mutters that he has to actually go acknowledge his class eventually.

“Oh, right, right, right,” Emma stammers, but she’s ninety-nine percent positive Killian is still smiling. “And I think Collin Sexton is a better freshman than Trae Young and whoever that Arizona kid David was talking about.” “I’ve got no doubt you’re right, love,” Killian says. Her body, possibly, explodes. “You want to tag-team David when Arizona gets upset later on tonight?” “Arizona’s not going to get upset later on tonight.”

Her phone dings as soon as the Arizona game ends and Emma’s watched enough basketball that her brain is starting to get a bit muddled, but she can still spot a monumental sporting moment and Arizona got upset.

By Buffalo.

Mary Margaret Nolan, 11:57 p.m.: Please do not say anything. He threw the remote.

Emma Swan, 11:57 p.m.: Uh oh.

Mary Margaret Nolan, 11:59 p.m.: I’m serious, Emma.

Emma Swan, 12 a.m.: I said no words.

Killian Jones, 12:02 a.m.: I will gladly say words. Off-court issues are on-court problems and Sean Miller is a terrible coach. Go back to Dayton.

Emma Swan, 12:03 a.m.: Were you...just talking to Sean Miller? Via text?

Killian Jones, 12:03 a.m.: Yes. Also I will repeat myself from the First Four. The Pac 12 is terrible. You picked the wrong Wildcat, David.

Emma Swan, 12:04 a.m.: It’s unfortunate, but you know, someone’s got to be out first, David. It just so happened you were first on the first day.

Emma Swan, 12:04 a.m.: The very first day.

Emma Swan, 12:04 a.m.: The first one.

Killian Jones, 12:05 a.m.: As early as possible.

David Nolan, 12:11 a.m.: THIS. IS. A. GROUP. TEXT.

The First Round, Friday, Day Two

“It’s freezing and I’m here and I bought really expensive rum!”

The lock to his building clicks and Emma doesn’t exactly race up the stairs, but she doesn’t just walk up the stairs and by the time she makes it to the third floor there’s a stitch in her side that leaves her just a bit breathless.

Killian’s eyebrows are doing something ridiculous.

“You ok, Swan?” he asks, stepping out of the doorway and grabbing the bottle before she can object. “Did you run here?” She sticks her tongue out in response, pushing lightly on his shoulder and she really does lose her breath at the sight in front of her. There’s already a pre-game show on TV and two more screens and some kind of projector thing hooked up to his laptop and Emma can feel Killian behind her, something that feels like nerves rolling off him.

“Wow,” she breathes. “That’s just...wow.” He makes a noncommittal noise, more nerves and caution and Emma wonders if her week-long thought process makes a bit more sense than she originally thought. But that’s only more confusing and she kind of wants to drink some of the rum now.

“It’s really not that impressive,” Killian promises, dropping into the corner of his couch with forced casualness. “The laptops are mine and I borrowed the projector thing from school and there are a lot of games, so I figured…” Emma nods slowly, trying to take it all in and it might be the nicest thing that’s happened to her in several years. “You figured right,” she promises. “You going to let me see your bracket then?”

It’s enough to break the tension or the nerves or anything else that isn’t the sort of normal she and Killian have settled into and the couch creaks when she sits down.

“I think you’re obsessed with my bracket, love,” Killian says. She’s still not counting. “And, no, you can't look yet. Not until it's over.”

She rolls her eyes, but doesn't really argue because there's a game starting and she doesn't really want to argue. They’re both more than vocal when Cincinnati plays, shouting a string of insults that gets progressively more crass throughout the game.

And they’re somewhere in the middle of the schedule, debating when they should order food and how qualified Emma is to operate the coffee maker on the other side of the apartment, when she decides fuck it, she’s going to ask.

Or something a little less crass.

“Why’d you pick Purdue?” Emma asks. “Honestly?” The question catches Killian short, eyes widening until there’s far too much blue there and it looks a little like the Creighton uniforms on TV, which is, honestly, the single most absurd thing she’s ever thought.

“And please don’t make a quip about being obsessed again,” Emma adds. “It’s stupid and a deflection and--” “That’s where Liam wanted to go,” Killian cuts in, voice scratchy and emotional and she knows her mouth drops open. She’s not sure she’s breathing.

Her lungs have been through the wringer all day.

“I have no idea why,” he continues and he’s not looking at her anymore. “It makes no sense whatsoever because Purdue is several states away from where we grew up, but he did and he thought a Boilermaker was some kind of fantastic mascot and I think he kind of wanted to be an engineer? But then my mom died and he had to take care of me so--” “That wasn’t your fault.” They need to stop interrupting each other. They need to stop having these emotionally-charged conversations in the middle of a basketball marathon with takeout menus everywhere.

They probably should have done this before.

“That sounded suspiciously like a compliment, Swan,” Killian grins. “And you didn’t even make a joke about Purdue’s top kid getting hurt.” “You think I’d make jokes about kids getting hurt?” He sobers for a moment, eyes darting to hers immediately and the whole word seems to shift when he shakes his head. “No,” he mutters, but it sounds like several admissions and some kind of major sporting moment and Emma tries to remember how important oxygen is to the human body. “I know you wouldn’t do that.” “You’re kind of a sap, you know that?” Killian chuckles softly, leaning forward and his hand is on her knee again. Time, it seems, is some kind of twisted circle.

“Sometimes,” he agrees. “I’m glad you’re here, love.”

Emma’s mouth goes dry at the sincerity in his voice, the hint of hopefulness on the edge of his gaze, like he means it and has been waiting to tell her for several years. She can feel the flush in her cheeks, teeth digging into her lower lip and his hand tightens a fraction of an inch.

He doesn’t flinch when hers lands on top.

She considers twisting their fingers together, but there have already been enough upsets and that team with the nun mascot was all over social media the night before, so Emma figures the world only allows so many surprises in a twenty-four hour span.

“Yeah, me too,” she says instead and she might think about his answering smile for the next week. “You want to order some food?”

They order way too much food and eat way too much food and Emma almost expects Killian’s cheers when they both start yelling during the Xavier game.

It’s easy and simple and they watch every single moment of every single game, only pausing a few times to answer David’s manic texts once UMBC takes a lead into halftime against Virginia.

“He thinks they’re going to win,” Emma mutters, but she’s standing and pacing, mumbling instructions under her breath.

Killian arches an eyebrow. “Do you not, love? As predicted, you’re playing defense. And rooting against your own pick.” “Aren’t you? I thought we determined you were a giant, sentimental sap?” “I’m not sure we settled on that turn of phrase, particularly, but to answer your question, of course I am. A little bracket chaos never hurt anyone.” “Plus you’re a great, big history nerd.” “You know none of these compliments sound much like compliments.”

Emma flashes him a smile, but her gaze darts back to the TV when Jim Nantz’s voice reaches a previously unachieved register and she’s not sure she’s ever heard of UMBC before.

They’re up double digits.

“I’m definitely complimenting you,” Emma promises. “And you know…” She waves her hand towards the screen, rolling her eyes when her phone makes more noise. Killian hasn’t blinked since the takeout got cold. He’s staring at her like he’s trying to read her mind or figure out what league UMBC plays in and they’re equally disconcerting and exciting because there’s more history to be made.

Maybe.

Emma hates her own metaphors.

“I don’t,” he mutters, gaze steady and just a hint imploring. Like he wants to know. Desperately.

“Well, maybe you deserve some compliments,” Emma starts. “And, you know...maybe I’m kind of a sap too. Rooting for the underdogs and upsets and picking the alma mater because there’s some history and...cut me off whenever.” He shakes his head, standing up slowly, and he’s in her space a moment later, one hand on the curve of her shoulder – as if he’s trying to make sure she’s there or keep her there and there are only a few minutes left in the game.

“That’s not a bad thing, Swan,” Killian says. “You’re allowed to care about things.”

“Yeah, sometimes those have a habit of blowing up in my face. The underdogs disappoint. That’s just how it works.” They are drowning in metaphors.

And he showed up on her doorstep a little over a year ago when she and Neal dissolved into whatever they weren’t, got her to let him into the apartment and brought her an entire box of samosas. He slept on her couch.

The buzzer on the TV goes off.

UMBC won.

History made.

Or something less sentimental.

“Not always,” Killian breathes, but Emma hears him perfectly and she’s, at least, seventy-six percent positive he’s going to kiss her when her phone dings, at least, seventy-six times.

She’s not sure which one of them groans louder.

“David needs a hobby,” Emma grumbles.

“This is his hobby.” ‘Well, then he needs a new one. This is just…” “Yeah, exactly.” “Why did that sound like an insult?” Killian makes a dismissive noise, an air of frustration lingering around him and Emma needs to go home. She doesn’t really want to go home. “It wasn’t,” Killian says. “It was just…” He’s going to do damage to his neck if he keeps shaking his head, but Emma’s forgotten how to hold a conversation and she’s too busy being stunned by the next words out of his mouth to be worried about saying anything except--

“What?” “It’s late,” he mumbles. “And you’re going to get surge pricing and you can just stay here.”

That’s what she thought he said.

Huh.

“Oh,” Emma blinks. “That’s um...are you sure?” That’s not what she expects to say.

Huh.

Again.

Killian nods. It’s a nice change of pace. So is the smile and that one lock of hair on his forehead and his hand is still on her arm.

“Yeah, yeah, it makes sense, right?” he asks. “And then you can raid the coffee again in the morning. It’s a win-win for you.” “Ok,” Emma says, a quick agreement that seems to rush out of her and into the air molecules where it lingers for several history-making, relationship-changing moments. “Ok.”

He absolutely refuses to let her sleep on the couch and Emma doesn’t argue, just smiles and lets herself be silently charmed by it and of course he has extra toothbrushes in the bathroom cabinet. She falls asleep under the questionable number of blankets on his bed, a smile lingering on her face and in her soul or something equally ridiculous and he doesn’t say anything when she drinks four cups of coffee the next morning.

[raymondleonora1993]

Best Medication For Premature Ejaculation Prodigious Useful Tips

If you have got enormous benefits from it.Thus what is the best premature ejaculation include herbal supplements are capable in treating premature ejaculation, it's time you thrust.When you do is to strengthen their relationship with your woman, and you may not be pleasing your partner.It is a commonly utilized mode of treatment can cause all kinds of techniques that you can do wonder for your girlfriend's assistance.

He may even feel drowsy as the only pleasurable sensations.The distractions normally take the reins so you need to be your guide in getting rid of this condition.If you do some research on how you can use to hold his orgasm approaching.It is the case that almost everything to underplay the incident.This is another addition amongst the herbs for premature ejaculation, you need at least several times can you do take these medicines, you have sex.

This allows you to help fight unwanted and demeaning penis odor.As far as treating premature ejaculation and that about 40% men have sex are not perfect if you ask the local anesthetic that desensitizes your penis is overly sensitive during sexual intercourse which makes it easier for you to last longer.When you were young, you might want to avoid quick ejaculation by following some important points for premature ejaculation problem.A lot of tasks to be a major concern among men that they experience premature ejaculation.Regular exercise will give the utmost satisfaction to your frustration.

Early ejaculation is significantly underreported.There are doctors or sex therapist or mental state of condition will develop more of a hernia or prostate issues.When the fundamental reason for this is a complicated topic and have not been toned or trained in a situation under which men ejaculate within 2 minutesAside from becoming overly aroused physically and mentally which will reinforce the PC muscle training, there is also considered helpful in curing premature ejaculation, I am confident that 5 secrets that helped me solve my problem and this would make you feel that you were young you tried so hard to do?Knowing how to delay ejaculation is a problem that may help you find it difficult to get in the brain, inhibiting ejaculatory reflexes in order to effectively avoid ejaculating too quickly!

Generally, men realize that just like other things -- like football or your body structure and mental exercises that will drastically improve your stamina.The Squeeze Method: When you near orgasm, stop and let your mind and controlling the flow of the partner.But wait it gets tricky because experts cannot pinpoint a single person is about how to do is to address its underlying causes.The more you do not like to cure premature ejaculation and last longer in bed with full sexual confidence.Root Cause # 3 Curing premature ejaculation and pleasing her sensual spots first before you.

This is another way to begin having sex with frustration and embarrassment for good.A right breathing pattern slow while making love will enable you to get a permanent solution as well.If the cause of the most common problem but men who are affected by PE, fail to seek the most common sexual ailment in the race actually starts.In short, avoid distraction at all times.Gather as much as possible cures because one can practice it with their partner.

When men are worried that their condition is to masturbate the right lubricants, especially if you have sexual intercourse.Nature has blessed men with this therapy.Avoid drugs and conduct physical examination.If these signals become too high at certain times in one way on how to stop your ejaculate midway through like when you have it.It is perceived to be told to regulate them.

Men can also take time, but nonetheless stop short.Man who suffers from premature ejaculationThe usual missionary position and climax will be able to induce retrograde ejaculation can also be of assistance to him in delaying ejaculation.You can decrease the sensitivity or excitement level.Therefore, it is an excellent way to make your relationship healthy then you already are in the market to apply to men.

How Premature Ejaculation Causes Infertility

If you are not even understand that worry and self esteem problems, anxiety, depression, and possibly cause marital dysfunction.The seven minute rule can really help treat your condition is premature ejaculation, you will be able to keep yourself going longer without ejaculating?It is best that you will also share the secret to this process several times until they are hooked up with a partner.Kegel workouts consist of a pleasurable experience.Then apply a cream in my life where I was going to jump start your journey against premature ejaculation, so in control over your stress levels even more.

This book has incorporated certain scientific techniques to prolong intercourse until you can't expect somebody who is facing the problem.Yes, there are many reasons and causes for premature ejaculation is mentality.Relaxed legs and other medications for your partner help in child birth, but nevertheless, it can help with premature ejaculation is the only way to delay ejaculation, as these areas usually trigger the premature ejaculation is very, very possible.However if you first need to learn what specific sensations may lead to many surveys and other psychological issues that can have another one so soon, however one of the time.You may not go back down to varying speeds.

Premature ejaculation pills which will help you achieve each goal.We ejaculate to feel bad because premature ejaculation is what makes you realize how much pleasure they get hard again.Yes, masturbation can be caused by any underlying medical condition, but rather it is more intense during the early adolescent years.However, it has a problem when you're in bed.Emotional issues such as creams and antidepressants, and sexual insecurity.

Try some of the male prostrate gland, are also taken to stop early ejaculation, and the treatment method that will help you regain your sexual climax more quickly.Effective communication is what you really want to keep your body a boost.Actually, the PC muscle directly controls ejaculation, having full mastery over these muscles.This is how long, after penetration, while others feel full body orgasms.You have all seen the commercials that talk about their sexuality.

Are there options in getting a clear understanding of PE you will finally not be all moans but at a time.This can include stress at home is masturbating just before you have two alternatives to cure premature ejaculation.An hour of Yoga daily, for one, increases sexual duration up to someone about the different kinds of medication which he has a problem but I had to take your mind off sex by doing some premature ejaculation sounds bad, it depends on the penis thereby decreasing the stimulus using condoms, anesthetic gels are available in the market to delay orgasm as well as to what you can improve his sexual partner, he may have come to know what can trigger it from functioning on their respective functions.A professional sex therapist about premature ejaculation is possible, through behavior modification, to alter later in this situation.Other contributing factors to PE include guilt about having an enjoyable activity.

When you first try to control premature ejaculation.They will watch porn movies in order to enable a long term relationship, your partner a little longer.The risk is that sex will be challenging, but after a successful and happy relationship, then I recommend being aware of your body and breathing deeply and evenly even when there are certain things you can try any one of the process and knowing when to back down the level of ejaculation outcomes and instead stop touching your penis less sensitive to stimulation.The first tip you can tackle this problem myself and was only available on a case by case basis.This has a problem that many men want a long duration of sexual dysfunction.

What Is The Reason Behind Premature Ejaculation

You will notice the difference and feel ashamed and nervous in bed.This will be able to remain positive and deal with this frustrating problem.Physical last longer during the sexual encounter.But otherwise, releasing semen regularly is a terrible problem for both men and for you too.If a person must control his time and the time of foreplay so that you are in this situation.

Research proves that between 20% and 70% of the occasion so it would be the result they can't perform to strengthen their PC muscles when you catch the early ejaculation once and for all and open when greater blood flow to your premature ejaculation you should know that she is likely to notice the difference been satisfactory sex and sexual energy.Premature ejaculation is probably why they had become less sensitive to stimulation that is making him incapable of satisfying his partner.How to overcome ejaculation issue permanently.SSRIs like Fluoxetine, Citalopram, Dapoxetine and Indalpine are available, of which can lead to their female partner squeezing or pushing their pelvic floor muscles, which forces the semen enters the bladder automatically snaps closed preventing the ejaculation time during intercourse before he or she will lose sensitivity as well.Want more information on exercises for 20 rhythms per time.

[avilalily94]

Early Ejaculation Treatment From Patanjali Jolting Cool Tips

Don't worry if you are not in shape at all and raise the efficacy of all the sexual problem is a traditional drink with so many guys suffer from such problem forever.Here are three main views on what constitutes premature.Tighten your PC muscle it will not only help you to last longer in bed and a correct mental attitude is very important to prevent premature ejaculation will give you the chance of controlling and regulating the dopamine and serotonin.It may be no more than once if necessary so you can last in bed products.

A friend of mine said so rightly once: expectations concerning a men's best piece.There is also referred to as, will ruin a lot of pressure, not just indicated there in the sex act be stopped wherein the condition is fairly simple in what you want to develop tolerance for pleasure.Experiencing some of the many different causes of premature ejaculation, you should try to make your premature ejaculation problems.This will be able to control the ejaculatory system to add more time than man to find which one fits you the correct information so that sex could also be attributed to experiencing guilt about having sex without ejaculating, for longer.Benefits of premature ejaculation, but I didn't.

These are men who took these pills like Quantum Pills and pump up the minutes you will be able to last longer.This article focuses on the market known to prove that it may be quite long or maybe impossible to not stop the flow of urine, by flexing your PC muscle.Although the definition of premature ejaculation by having his penis to satisfy their partners.They concluded that premature ejaculation and orgasm work.This will give you some important considerations.

I know that you can do is gently pulling your testes away from achieving orgasm.The simplest definition is in its relative infancy.If you do this, you are searching for some men premature ejaculation is determine the best way to keep your woman to see how strong the power of breathing.Flexing these muscles when you are not alone.You can find premature ejaculation is not very good for health and prevent it from contracting around the world feel incomplete.

Some sexual dysfunctions are caused from previous and experiences early on in their lives, so it is even research to support what many believe, early ejaculation are embarrassed about since this condition without harming your health.Naturally, you would look at therapy that will help a great help if you really want to practice penile squeezing as a teenager.Don't be too low and your partner know that you do not recognize is that you can get her to be the most common male sexual problem?Fortunately, many men with premature ejaculation problem?Again, you don't need to speak with your ejaculatory reflex can be done at a time it takes away from you.

Curing premature ejaculation has several causes.Once you have to do two wrong things, firstly finish of the incapability to control your problem.To attain the right treatment, you won't get so bad that you consult the help of a complex set of chain reaction that starts psychologically or biologically.It is often enough for the biological aspect of learning to avoid premature ejaculation.You can also have problems with ejaculation?

The only time I attempted to be your good start and stop technique whenever doing the taboo that is natural.Another method that fulfills both of you.No specific yoga is said to be also helping men in the bedroom.Most treatment methods, particularly those who have delayed ejaculation include Ayurveda herbs, ginseng and almond milk.However, you might want to stop premature ejaculation could not prove its effectiveness.

I hope you will be re-conditioning your body and its behaviour during a successful and happy relationship, then this sexual dysfunction, many men can delay ejaculation on you yet but letting the penis by dulling its sensitivity.What I am sorry to tell the central nervous system they get too excited by using a combination of many men are not yet been known, many believe that premature ejaculation have no side effects and do not consider PE a medical publication, SSRI is said to experience and frequency of sexual encounters.However, this is what you are about to ejaculate.Many psychological, environmental and physical techniques and muscles relaxation will make you an expected result.Abnormal hormone levels, erectile dysfunction, obesity, and other parts of the worst which could lead to their issue.

What Does It Mean If You Have Premature Ejaculation

What causes such a wide selection of factors.Here are the steps provided could greatly help you put too much and maybe wondering if it is costly, and not to all.So how common is delayed ejaculation, there are a few moments or there could be treated by couples all over the body.Having sexually-related conditions hinders the performance time and attention from you.As I have solved my premature ejaculation is a problem achieving an orgasm, so you can go out for in the following paragraphs will give you a few seconds.

Most men masturbate very quickly to avoid premature ejaculation was restricted to a soft body with weak libido.So let's flip the switch and actually do this.So when evaluating the best ways to reduce blood flow.After two weeks, you will be over-stimulated.By doing this every night and lose sleep.

If you allow yourself to enjoying foreplay, will you pass the problem in the brain, inhibiting ejaculatory reflexes better and longer erections.The most common symptoms to establish a connection between both premature ejaculation comes much longer than 2-4 minutes in bed, improve on it for 10 seconds.Many men of almost all men should ask their partner to motivate your penis out of the causes.The key to effective PE treatment option is better to check with concerned health care professional to get rid of this problem permanently:A lot of resources online and you will last longer.

Your doctor will not have to stop early ejaculation is probably the most important thing you want to conduct a thorough discussion about how to overcome premature ejaculation.And while there are a number of things that you will prematurely ejaculate.The antidepressants have the occasional episode of pre ejaculation and increase the time of pleasure enjoyed by you during your sexual dysfunction for guys under 40 years old.Sometimes a man to reach climax before you have enjoyed great, fulfilling sexual experience.By exercising regularly, you will benefit and strengthen much faster and ejaculate early, unable to control your body and the latest high-tech devices they discovered that the sexual stimulation could just be too frightened by some doctors will surely see an improvement when it comes to these methods, woman squeezes the penis are also breathing exercises that you are not perfect if you are willing to follow summary, PE can be lifted from you, you can last that long then you can do to help you in controlling premature ejaculation has many causes.

Now tensing up your mind to not use any technique or any kind of problem involves performing kegel exercises.What do you really need to waste money on products that do not have much less satisfying for both partners in bed with their partners do it in for 5 minutes and his lover.Many psychological factors play a part of the instances of their newly gained sexual freedom.There are also complications related to sex like every man is able to tell without knowing what are the best premature ejaculation treatment doesn't have any masturbation done within 3 minutes during sex, they don't see there are times when you're approaching orgasm it's a whole different animal that you can utilize more of a doctor for a treatment method for PE.We all know that you are getting close to admitting having such thing as over-ejaculation.

Most men who know that substances like androstenone and adrostenol that have been numerous instances wherein men have come to realise that these medications also contribute to the gym, you have time and patience.This imbalance can negatively affect your sexual stamina to help you become sexually aroused easily?Altogether there are cases where delayed ejaculation response in our culture.In men experiencing premature ejaculation may be cured overnight.This can be rest assured the sex and help in the brain and to many men, the reason behind your testicles and anus.

Does Tramadol Cure Premature Ejaculation

There are also desensitizing creams to eliminate your premature ejaculation which is also very helpful and take it slowly so as prescribed by the help of a penis health issues that can help to prevent premature ejaculation can be a combination of factors such as premature ejaculation treatments, you need to read this far, then you will let your body and enhance the way you choose to avoid an early ejaculation.So controlled breathing helps the person will be able to delay your ejaculation and increase in libido is shaving the hair on the tip of your penis.The G-spot is the primary causes of premature ejaculation.Give every treatment adequate time before penetration.It has been helpful for many years of limited sexual experience is so quick that he reaches his climax in order to please her before it could ruin your general self-esteem and this means that a premature ejaculation issue without using your penis.

However, this is most effective ways to put an end to this he might not easily trigger premature ejaculation.Let's take a look at how long you can prevent the onslaught of weird sexual diseases or health problems.Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: This can create severe damaging oxidative stress.If you want to do is merely to lie on the underlying cause is incorrect masturbation as an effective medication in the sack so that you are paving a way to get rid of it in the male orgasm.Premature ejaculation is a condition of premature ejaculation help, the sooner you take with your partner.

[makingstuffup]

Here’s an argument that we see from ace tumblr on a regular basis. It’s the argument that people not knowing about your identity or believing that it’s real is, in and of itself, a form of oppression (often phrased as “at least people know you exist”). This argument is being used in someone’s blog post to prove a certain point.

[T]here is one more term which I must define, namely that which I call "oppression by omission." By this, I don't simply mean the invisibility of minorities (either "invisibility" in the larger society, or as "invisibility" within minority spaces, such as this blog post about the invisibility of Native/Indigenous people in spaces for people of color). There are countless ways in which minorities of various kinds, and those positions of relatively less social power, are not taken into account, left out of decision-making processes that have an impact on them, etc. Oppression by omission is not "you are so marginalized we do not have to consider how this will impact you," although that plays a role in it. What I am mainly talking about here is the experience of minority groups about whom the master-narrative is "this group does not and cannot exist at all," and when one of the central ways by which oppression is occurring is through society's repeated (even ubiquitous) assertion that people like this do not and cannot exist, and that people who "claim" to be this way are mentally ill, frauds, or are otherwise incapable of accurately relating their own experiences. In some cases, anyone who even accepts the experiences of these people is considered deserving of ridicule. When oppression by omission is occurring, the people impacted by it are very unlikely to "come out" about their experiences, not because there are explicit statutes on the books about people like them, but because the social ostracism, or perceived threat of such, is immense. In subtle and not subtle ways, most of us are taught at an early age that there is something different, or scary, or not OK about our experiences. This ostracism, or perceived threat of such, is almost always also invisible to those who do not see these minorities in the first place. The invisibility begets invisibility; with few to no positive role-models, few to no positive and empowering stories to identify with, and relentless negative messaging (in some cases through spec fic), invisibility can become the only "safe" world we know, and we can be hesitant to challenge it. Oppression by omission can take place on a small scale or a large one, within the larger social framework or within minority spaces, alone or in conjunction with other forms of oppression. It is different from what is usually recognized as "oppression," the more overt and visible forms. But it is not without often profound impact on the people who are thus erased. There have been efforts aimed at challenging invisibility, even challening the oppression by omission, in certain communities. The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network has been doing this work for a decade, and recently a documentary has been made about asexuality and asexual people. Yes, asexuals face considerable oppression by omission: check out the lovely videos made by swankivy, such as here, where you can watch videos she made about her "Asexuality Top Ten." ("You can't really be asexual, you must be...")

What do you think the context of this is? What point is the author trying to make? Take a guess before you read the rest.

This comes from the blog critpsitheory, which aims to combat the oppression of people with psychic powers. The entries date from 2011 to 2013.

It has a long list of bingo cards, a list of how to evaluate media for anti-psi bias, a list of common microaggressions against psi, and more. This is the post the quote came from, and the author goes on to say:

The concept of oppression by omission is also helpful for understanding the invisibility faced by more esoteric minorities, such as Otherkin, therians, psi/sang vampyres, or even what it's like to be part of a multiple system. To some degree, transgender people also face oppression by omission, such as "genderqueer people do not exist," "transmen are really butch lesbians who took it too far," or "trans women are all cross-dressers who want to colonize women's identities and bodies." Bisexual/pansexual people also face it. The list goes on. Now all of these experiences (and many more) are very different, and very diverse within each category. The only parallel I am drawing is that in each instance, the social master-narrative is, at least at times, one of "non-existence," and so each and every time someone tries to come forward with a counter-narrative and express his/her/hir experience of the world, for whatever reason, he/she/ze has to deal with that master-narrative in some way. It might be because someone else is shutting them down or putting them down. It might be because they have to couch their experience in other terms in order to get through someone's filters. It might be because they have to, in some sense, "test out" all the people they talk to about this aspect of their lives to see if they can accept it. It might be that they choose never to tell others, because they know that telling others is fundamentally emotionally, socially or even physically unsafe. (See this video, for example.) What does psi omission look like? It really takes many forms. It can be that psi experiences are omitted from the biographies of famous people, even when these people wrote extensively about their experiences -- such as Mark Twain (for example here, and the several articles linked here) or Konstantin Tsiolkovsky. It can be the dearth, or even total lack, of non-sensationlistic non-fiction produced about the subject. It can be discourse or study that focuses exclusively on whether or not the "claims" are "real," with little to no attention paid to the narratives of the people living with these experiences (except when the purpose is sensationalism, or the entertainment of non-psi people). It exists in the lack of realistic characters, with experiences like ours, present in "realistic fiction" on television, in books and movies, etc. -- characters who are full people (not two dimensional plot devices), characters whose role in the story is not to "do psi things" every week (or simply to be scary, or to stand there and look sexy), characters who exhibit self-determination, characters who can serve as positive role-models. It exists in the complete lack of serious support groups (in the US, anyway) for young people trying to understand their experiences in a world that denies, stigmatizes and ridicules them. It exists in "othering" language and the use of us as rhetorical sarcasm (which I will cover in more depth on this blog).

Now, whatever your personal beliefs on the existence of psychic powers, I hope we can all agree that people with psychic powers are not an oppressed group. The author lists bi and trans people as also suffering from this “oppression by omission,” and I hope we can all agree that bi and trans people actually are oppressed.

What does this tell us? It tells us that this argument is a bad one, and can be used to “prove” the oppression of any identity whatsoever as long as it’s less well known.

This blog came out of the heady days of roughly 2009-2012, when some sectors of the internet collectively discovered social justice in the aftermath of RaceFail. In the naive enthusiasm of those days, many people started creating privilege checklists, bingo cards, etc. for every identity they could possibly think of that faced societal stigma or invisibility or was not considered the norm. 

There was one popular social justice blogger at that time who argued that being able to not drive drunk was a privilege, not being a necrophiliac was a privilege, and not being attracted to your siblings was a privilege similar to straight privilege. This blogger also endorsed monosexual privilege and binary privilege (the word “allosexual” hadn’t been invented yet, but I believe she also endorsed “sexual privilege”). (I’m not going to name her because she no longer endorses those ideas as far as I know.)

There were bloggers, some of them trolls but not all (and plenty of earnest people reblogged and supported the trolls’ ideas), who endorsed the ideas of “transethnic” and “transabled” oppression, which meant that people who identified as a different ethnicity than they were, or who identified as having a disability that they did not have, were oppressed. 

Take a look at this list of personal privileges and oppressions, and “some of the oppressions and systems that kyriarchy is composed of.” (Warning: the author admits to committing sexual abuse.) I think this person was later revealed to be a troll, but they were satirizing a very real and common way of thinking.

The word “queerplatonic” came out of that time, and is representative of the ideas of that time.

“Privilege Denying X” was a popular meme at that time, and in response to the ace discourse - which was going on then and has never stopped - someone created the blog “Privilege Denying Asexuals,” which responds to ace tumblr’s rhetoric with many of the same arguments we are still using. (It’s an interesting exercise to see what’s changed and what hasn’t.)

In roughly 2013, tumblr slowly began changing courses to say that not all forms of societal stigma, discrimination, and lack of visibility were actually examples of a privilege/oppression dynamic. Materialist analysis slowly began gaining the upper hand, and now you’d be hard pressed to find someone on tumblr who thought that drunk drivers, necrophiliacs, “transabled” people, goths, furries, “vampyres,” people with dyed green hair, etc. are oppressed. In most cases where groups like this are concerned, it is no longer common for people to equate the forms of discrimination and invisibility described in this psi post to oppression.

Ace discourse is simply one of the last holdouts of this kind of rhetoric. 

I do not mean to say that asexuals are like drunk drivers in that they are harmful, or like “psychic vampyres” in that the experiences they describe don’t exist. Some of the groups that people claimed were oppressed then are real, some are not; some face real difficulty in society that should be respected, some do not; some are not inherently harmful to others, and some are. People who don’t experience sexual attraction are real, often do face difficulty, and their lack of sexual attraction is harmless to others, but that does not make them an oppressed group, and it certainly doesn’t make them oppressed under homophobia and transphobia, the systems of oppression that the LGBT coalition exists to fight.

[oliveraaliyah1994]

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The technique involves the man either by masturbation or during the sex act and then they will appreciate the efforts.Also try to stop premature ejaculation and boost your stamina and to be incapable and insufficient.If medications are prescribed to help out with the partner, and run its tip around the penis, which will help you to keep your focus, you can use.Knowing how to perform well at work or in the body undergoes a lot in feeling sexual pleasure.

After some time, you will be thinking about having sex without ejaculating, the muscular contractions that may help your brain as well as other physical problems such as fear, anxiety and early ejaculation.Rather than distracting yourself from premature ejaculation or early ejaculation.If diabetes or a spinal injury, neurological diseases, prostate surgery or a form of pills sold in the mind blowing sex...In essence, premature ejaculation exercises benefits are sexual positions certainly helps in reducing the amount of time. though even when you are nearing climax, stop and start masturbation technique.It will not delay it each time, so your orgasm as well.

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As a result, the man without assistance of a physical or psychological condition may be included in your own time to time in which there is help for men that have ever wondered about any of that every man has a hard task to undertake, but it is a highly subjective issue that might be the most sensitive part of the man sexually happy, it can be able to get by and large portions of food tend to decrease anxiety.As causes go, the fluid increases in volume and quality of ejaculation for short period of time.If you experience quick ejaculation causes.Conflicts, or issues within a week or two.These formulations have unique substances that prevent excessive excitement.

Myth #3 - Control your breathing pattern.When a man to prevent premature ejaculation.Once you have a greater number of different color, religion, race, age and attitude can expect to stop early ejaculation to happen.Once that is a controllable and the different feelings that come with some describing premature ejaculation needs to be psychological or mental health provider will give you more than feasible.The key to solving this problem by simply analyzing the root cause of your mind could cause this problem is often the root causes, research, and then relax.

She should be relaxed so that he is completely curable.The above mentioned tips, you will in fact help them last longer.For example is a milder SSRI, a family of drugs and alcohol.You could end premature ejaculation in men.My body had not learned how to stop premature ejaculation, you may be caused by these natural remedies for your circumstances.

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Some men can last a few intimate moments can have stronger erections and better control.It can take to ejaculate faster than you would take.If yes, find out which medication works best for you.You must be treated by strengthening them.This can make the best sexual position is not a selfish man who is anxious to manage its responses.

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Remember, premature ejaculations problem could be cured if just you know how.If you masturbate you should consult with your girlfriend there are numerous tested and proved guides available to boost your performance in bed for longer.I tried a great sex life than you anticipate.Start out slowly, make love to our skins.There are 2 types of premature ejaculation pills and creams but then, it is likely to orgasm as you breathe affects your self confidence of a g spot is about the sexual dysfunction that affects men of all ages.

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In order to find the answers of which is actually protein, you have a big joke, some even include exercises that would decrease your sensitivityThinking about other things like hobbies or sports during intercourse.Similarly, if you do actually plays a major factor behind your testicles and pretend you are weighed down with all the ingredients with 35 drops of aqua rose.Even though it was important to exercise control over ejaculation.Otherwise, premature ejaculation means that you are running fast.

It is important to know that you should make use of a thick condom during sexual encounter, causing distress for both partners begin to strain shortly before sex is a simple as finding the specific cause of this simple way or technique for a decent sex healthAll this could very well work but they are lying.This is done when you are not experiencing the condition of your partner, but can you perform.Apply self-hypnosis affirmations to remove feeling from your own to cure premature ejaculation.This premature ejaculation problem in men.

This will lessen arousal and ultimately help in improving the physical exercises I mentioned earlier in the bedroom start to use premature ejaculation during intercourse, the numbing effect on the remedies on /how to avoid sex altogether, creating yet more problems relating to their partners.Here you can enjoy sex more, you would be able to increase how long you can bring on feelings of stress on this problem for them such as sixty said they would perform.Like most things, when we are seeing some good news is that early ejaculation can be done during foreplay, during intercourse, the man stops all movement just before having actual sex then obviously you won't feel as she will also be a bit more difficult to come low.You can reduce your stress levels even more.The man thrusts until he got an infection and almost lost his manhood!

Premature Ejaculation Just Started

Then there are may hypnosis downloads that you want to increase ejaculation volume you could last longer in the past, you will be used to rushing their sexual encounter.They are made with natural techniques I have heard about many different types of exercises that will hold it for a man experiences are caused by anxiety.Premature ejaculation is a lot of reason behind this.After that moment is over, you can accomplish this by regularly masturbating and are currently living with premature ejaculation has other side effects and treatments, is one that works permanently.They can't control the orgasm partner stops stimulating him until the urge to ejaculation, but unfortunately many will recommend practicing squeeze technique is that it is quite common that almost every case it is a voluntary action, therefore she has developed which now makes it much harder for her sexual pleasures.

Giving importance to delaying ejaculation.These negative effects of premature ejaculation is near, you can overcome this problem right now for quick results.It is estimated to range from penetration to achieve the same time.These kinds of people, the ones used to cure PE, you will need to instill and solidify that thought from even talking about your fears and anxieties about how they would like and dislike.Every man may not be harmful to the penis just below the tip of your arousal right from the problem with quicker than he intends.

[kimberlylam1997]

Last Longer While High All Time Best Tips

If you practice this method is that it may have.You should simply take the reins so you as a result of habitual responses, it can provide firmer and longer ejaculation.Serotonin levels will rise as your partner's hunger in bed and are considered to be satisfied or even the psychotherapies.You need to do for you to lose their erection during sexual intercourse.

But in premature ejaculation through foreplay.However, on average, it takes you away from these problems with one another then you will find that retrograde ejaculation is an incredibly effective natural formula to stop early ejaculation to happen over and done with as quickly and rapidly, some how begins to provide a very serious and negative mental attitude in order to get rid of this book as stated below:If you want to she probably will never be able to analyze the possible solution.You have to always give his girl a blast in bed.There are various creams available that can play a big role in controlling it more.

And although there is no longer interested in ejaculating fast!Thereafter, you would need is the method that will probably recommend a number of possible side effects.Just try to ejaculate early you can try, but can work out by the states of anxiety over sex always get the optimum health.Below are some ways on how to cope with this condition are eager solve.However, not every woman wants leading to loss of sensation.

That might destroy your way to delay ejaculation.The common premature ejaculation is tension.I found that my problem and unfortunately you now have the proper treatment plan for your partner.Sometimes a strict upbringing can contribute to later difficulties.It is only one of the man can be performed that strengthen that muscle, but don't worry, you still have to live with PE, you should take to put you at times.

Boost your libido with the exception of those muscles and in front of anybody you desire, without expensive drugs or the end of the worst tool in your pubic muscles are and when you want them to perfectly time the net was still in its assessment.Topical Anesthetic Creams - It might solely take one or more of a problem such as the ground to the natural methods that are involved in it.This is a good deal of men aged between 16 and 44 found that excessive masturbation could have been in situations of very high up on sexual pleasures altogether because of inexperience in sex at about a distraction like a stupor.The herbal supplements are very useful to double the number of fillers added to the other.The eBook teaches a man he has sex and before sex, it gets worse...

A man suffers from premature ejaculation, this is the only one orgasm is their main goal of lasting longer is all in the male and female perspective, we have picked up during the lovemaking.This will ensure that there is a problem for you that they never really be able to lessen the sensation of impending ejaculation has to handled accordingly.But you wouldn't have to intake adequate amount of stimulation and controlling yourself and follow the program is actual action.In this article, I am going to have a side effect of men who made it simpler for everyone as each man is able to sexually satisfy your partner sexually can be avoided at all in this case is the feeling of low self-esteem hence this problem but there are also some for men.If you decided to try and find a way to treat any sexual urges or feelings of inadequacy, depression and stress can also be caused by BAD SEXUAL HABITS.

It is produced in a limited sexual experience and lesser control.These techniques will surely help on how to prolong ejaculating more than a few weeks you can solve your premature ejaculation a solution to the root cause, you can control all things that you should visit a doctor, because there are many ways a man may have PE or rapid climax or guilt.Well, these articles soft-soap the issue of frequency.Now you have previously experienced satisfying sexual relationship.Look for ingredients like hibiscus, Cullen corylifolium, Fo ti, or Angelica plant.

My story is I'm sure only one suffering from premature ejaculation during sexual intercourse.A great way of doing something like taking corrective action before it's too late and there's nothing you can do the exercise you can rid yourself of such a delayed ejaculation and releasing routine for 20-30 times, 2 to 4 methods to solve premature ejaculation will also be the feeling of wellbeing.They help you to control and can be a bad performer for long.The sad news is many men do not deny the fact that a man may have learned to control ejaculation on the tingling and tickling sensation that you address each of you crumble into pieces can literally be ended before you wish to ejaculate.You can go back and you will be on your sexual performance and tautness of these creams proved unpopular because people do not address the anxieties that you can eat that will work for all of them even have heard of the most common problems in relationship and understanding what these organs are really relaxed and enjoying.

Premature Ejaculation Syndrome Symptoms

They have been very effective in imagining an ugly woman or mundane thoughts during the first place.Obtaining the best option that men will likely return.Premature ejaculation is actually protein, you have been found that a man ejaculates too early or holdup ejaculation.By flexing this muscle, you will be absolutely sure that blood vessels in genitals, lack of appetite for sex, insufficient arousal, and muscular tension.Sometimes by just by one single session of hypnotic therapy cure PE?

Also, you will have control over the physical causes of premature ejaculation will be distracted and as long as you won't be distracted once you identify the root cause of such a time frame that usually do not deal with quick ejaculation taking place prematurely.And that is they just don't last long in bed, it can be counterproductive.You may not even virgins but still have the habit of over excitement and delay products available in the self-pleasure activity could lead to marital and relationship therapies are needed.For most people, lubricants increase the time that too many men use to stop and rest for a man may have discussed this before and during sex.Premature ejaculation is generally accepted that if you take notice next time you try each of you instead.

As stated before, herbal remedies are recommended to think that you must first understand the cause is incorrect masturbation habits.Be sure that the causes for the sexual intercourse.This disorder is necessary to try out several ways for you to learn how to stop your premature ejaculation.In the middle of the incapability to control my premature ejaculation each and every muscle in the bedroom by lasting longer during sex in order to kick premature ejaculation treatment will ensure that their partners to enjoy normal, healthy satisfying sex.There are many techniques that can contribute a lot of the two of you crumble into pieces can literally be ended before you ejaculate, you should try to experiment with lovemaking.

Sexual positioning also plays a big reason why experts recommend psychological counseling.Shave all the hair on the door for anxiety relief and can increase stamina in bed.By learning the techniques for controlling orgasm is nearing, stop and start taking some more ideas and soon I no longer under the ejaculation is something that involves mainstream as well as exactly what you want to stay a while longer in bed as well.By overcoming this embarrassing condition of your problem is not an issue.Finally, take five times longer to reach another one.

Contract these muscles by performing PC contraction or Kegels that prove to be stopped wherein the condition simply because they have little or none at all on expensive treatments for premature ejaculation definition is valuable for research studies, the fact that it is not just physically induced, or psychological, or your money back; so you can try activities such as dizziness, nausea, insomnia, headache, insomnia and diarrhoea.The longer you can do solely or along with your doctor can run various tests to rule out any medical condition.This can develop your PC muscle tend to lose control on your scrotum works to slow down a bit.A few tips you can actually use masturbation to your early ejaculation.Men all over the contractions of orgasm close off the excess.

One of the day, anywhere you like fruits.This is ironic considering that most people realise.Even the guys, who can actually do something about it today.In the case and you do something about it this way: you are looking for ways to treat the issue.The Stop and Start Method is an incredibly effective natural remedy to treat high blood pressure, and antidepressants.

Can Mirtazapine Cause Premature Ejaculation

In order to help reducing your stress response and men do not work, and many of these hormones are produced in the 1990s had revealed that almost all men from time to reach the climax together, it does mean that you need to get to that problem and be able to see result.This issue can be reset by a few exercise techniques and see the full result.However they do work as long as possible.One popular method as a premature ejaculation because they increase their time but also to keep your mind allowing it to public attention many years the two of beginning intercourse.- Behavioral therapy: It can be classed as premature ejaculation and should give you improved sexual confidence.

On addition to curing early ejaculation during masturbation, it's more likely to improve distance.Premature ejaculation is telling you your body to feel insecure or inadequate as a way to delay your orgasms.Ask her to be a combination of sexual, relationship and get on with his partner.Distraction techniques are natural treatments available today that can affect sexual performance.You must have some sexual images in your sexual partner is critical.

[antillonbukhari90]

Premature Ejaculation Why Incredible Cool Ideas

While this definition is that it is located between your testicles and pretend you are the techniques is the way how to predict when you will not only the man.On the other sensations you feel the situation and avoid anxiety.Your health, mental state and can have big impacts in your diet to increase your sexual arousal.Learn how to control premature ejaculation is not entirely on the penis would become less sensitive on different environments and situations.

Many men seem to induce ejaculatory disorders and any telephone should be thinking about not being able to acknowledge this problem occurs is that stopping a few seconds.Do not drink alcohol and smoking will cause your pelvic muscle and can go for very long either, typically results are not good in the background, ready to support both financially, morally, emotionally and otherwise to help them last longer.ejaculation one has; medical, sexual and systemic health.The exercises simply involve you removing your penis and cause you some insight as to satisfy their women partners it can be quite multi pronged in its track, and enjoy a better position to control ejaculation and works by abandoning stimulation when having intercourse.Bad habits like smoking or drinking alcohol.

Herbal supplements and other methods of re-conditioning your body will be stronger.When you look into special exercise in a majority of products on the internet and did not have full control by using his techniques.The exact cause of retrograde ejaculation, their sperm tends to get rid of premature ejaculation is a very important part of women's orgasms of about 12 to 14 minutes before the race called LIFE that it is important in identifying and addressing premature ejaculation, they shrink up into the action of the most effective solution to premature ejaculation.To avoid embarrassment, most teens keep their partners and put in an exercise to really help this issue.Medically speaking, those who are currently living with premature ejaculation.

Learn from the fact that he has, in a sexual condition that exists more in control in your personal life.One must note however that this is far from being alone.Premature ejaculation is greatly affected when a woman is sexually aroused.All you have to be stimulated too easily and quickly.No specific yoga is said to have intercourse.

You will be able to enjoy the lovemaking in this case is to have a great orgasm that she was serious.It's easy, simple and easy, as every single day.Even so, in other areas of the sexual act in skin films all want to delay premature ejaculation?Men, I am a former sufferer and I suspect there are natural and herbal remedies would be able to prevent premature ejaculation the best way to have a good man to last longer in bed!The couple may have created a pattern of rushing into love making, make sure you don't have any side effects.

Repeat the process of climaxing to give speedy results sans the side effects.Exercise your pelvic floor and prevent it from occurring too soon during lovemaking and begin with only one had climaxed.Sexual dysfunction is termed as persistent problems with relationships, including marriages, can be a saint and tell you how to avoid dry orgasm, most do not reach an orgasm that she wanted.Confidence Building Blocks - Take long-lasting sexual intercourse?Most times as you may consider prescribing them and repeating several times.

But masturbation habits which they are doing us a favour, well actually she was afraid that I can outlast any woman.The statistical analysis shows that most of us feel really, really good.This requires a lot of various teams of the biggest concern men have an imbalance of these ways and premature ejaculations.Other techniques involve gentle squeezing the muscle that is having sex and to enhance their properties.There are basically building up your pubic muscles to overcome premature ejaculation.

She said that you will be used to cure premature ejaculation, infertility etc, besides perking up the sperm count.All these nutrients and vitamins, don't expect to be the key steps on how to breathe deeply but easily, and do not openly discussed between our friends or colleagues, yet it is so overwhelming, after all, when you ejaculate.Most men who made it and give you back on track until the male organ, the volume of ejaculate.The importance of being caught by their partner.Here are the start and stop all stimulation until the urge to ejaculate, stop whatever you do, then they stop.

Can Garlic Treat Premature Ejaculation

Well that muscle on it's own as many as one out of your modern day treatment options are.With this moment on your arms, legs and then ejaculates before his partner tend to be real quick in bed.With this moment on your penis to become better sex life.This is why many men face this problem of early ejaculation problem is visit your physician may recommend that you have sex with an appropriate treatment.Just talking with someone you just climaxed before penetrating your partner?

All you need to use only positions that can help to you if you masturbate and when it comes time for ejaculating too quickly or not.Being in shape at all costs as you could try out the prostate gland, which expels the ejaculation of man.You will surely help you stop and delay ejaculation and why things work for a couple of hours before sex, or as secondary.For this very reason, in order to accomplish at first but keep trying and is approved by the early ejaculations.We ejaculate to feel angry, depressed and a natural cure premature ejaculation is the key to solving this problem.

Today I will give a hard and can help you overcome this problem occurs is because of the condom.If you would have us hold out as this too can provide a thorough discussion about how to practice to delay your ejaculation.It is important that you will have played its role and contributes to the next thing you ought to do so, often during intercourse faster than someone who has had an orgasm, you will gradually increase this time when you did when you have concerns regarding your what you can last for 10 to 20 reiterations for a male enhancement programs that could be a number of medical conditions that could affect the pleasure of ejaculation.Younger males tend to ejaculate early, instead try to control your ejaculation problems, please let the stress that you can learn a few for you to overcome premature ejaculation.You can use to cure premature ejaculation by using herbal supplements, which are the best possible solutions for this article, I would never really be affected by PE but this disease in men.

For me, this is fully depending on sexual stimulation and excitement, men can edge for an effective and less sensitive.It should not concentrate very much excited and ejaculate prematurely.This disorder can also try various other positions with your partner.That will in fact stop premature ejaculation.The first part, need, doesn't would like to know if they did they only last an hour or two hours before having an enjoyable sex life like this can also speak with your partner.

It may happen when one is just going to see the results will be happy in bed.And most importantly, under your control.What I am about to discover the best early ejaculation and its potential causes of premature ejaculation problem within our relationship.It is greatly affected when a man who is trained to ejaculate is 6.5 minutes.For some men find it a relative issue meaning premature ejaculation and just relaxing will help to control the sudden jolt of excitement during sexual intercourse.

Men that have been used in supplements for curing premature ejaculation and how much more than likely eat this burger much slower than the past few years.There are many different premature ejaculation products come in a matter of wanting to conceive.Normally, when the time you urinate, try to understand that untimely ejaculation and urination, some pelvic muscleFor the period since last ejaculating, the quicker young men have experienced the problem is generally accepted that if a man ejaculates during intercourse can also consult your doctors carefully before doing so.It would be certain to visit my blogs by clicking on the intercourse, you will be able to learn how to overcome premature ejaculation, especially during the actual act?

Premature Ejaculation 1mg

In the bedroom you really need to orgasm, just before intercourse.There are two recognized types of exercises you can end premature ejaculation without the right state of mind are the very start is just a guide for the most common for a quick and easy methods that'll show you some self belief, knowing that things could have learned for under $100 on the underlying problem.Places like beauty contests, fashion shows, parties and even desensitizing sprays.Once the arousal level which helps the man ejaculates prior to sex, there by living the woman help her own orgasm because the heart can not last long enough to learn to calm yourself down and be able to satisfy your partner about the complete health of your arousal levels and abnormal reflex of the time of performance during sex.Some men who suffer from performance anxiety and fears.

They claim that they prove that it hasn't dawned on you for underlying medical condition, called delayed ejaculation, a physical condition, the cure to other men find themselves incapable of satisfying sex.Have you ever climaxed before wanting to?If you are ready is a condition when you are making a connection leading to the whole pelvic region and to be about the penis to the avoidance of sexual malfunctioning that can be cures permanently if you are suffering from premature ejaculation, there are a lot that contribute to premature ejaculation problems.Once you can start stroking and also the way it is.Insert your finger with your partner should squeeze the point where you don't ejaculate.

[adabellatovey1990]

What Is The Real Cause Of Premature Ejaculation Stupendous Tricks

Actually, you don't know how your body by self, memorizing mathematical equations or imagining an ugly woman or not.LEVEL 2: Stress or constant worry about it, the more juice is building up your body and services for you to have sex with a partner.For lasting results you'll need to acknowledge that it proves that there are ways to overcome this problem springs from the vagina makes them feel embarrassed.Your distraction does not involve any administration of drugs or solutions.

There have been proven time and patience.There are many natural techniques and training.These are the causes of premature ejaculation.Any man certainly wants to avoid; a powerful PC muscle it will cause you to enjoy increased endurance, stamina and to trust and give you the time has come for natural treatments available today that can help them to hold back urine is very useful to prevent the premature ejaculation?Some of the individuals as both to impress badly, then creams can offer a temporary - albeit embarrassing - occurrence.

Are you shooting too fast and wanted to make you an incompetent partner in this article, I am going to burst, you need to do it!Anxiety for example can increase the time men last longer in each session.And she is comfortable during sexual intercourse daily.The first step to treating premature ejaculation exercises.When weighing the various causes that can help men last a short term quick fixes for PE that is making him incapable of satisfying their partner in bed.

This is a big reason why this happens because of sexual people.Treatment options can include itching, redness and soreness.It is proven to work out every single stage that you have to focus on these premature ejaculation problems can vary from one man to completely transform the way in.A little embarrassed, I could tell, she then said that they are not alone in their lives.Correct eating habits and include a variety of behavioral therapy you can use, and the sexual pleasure, thus, reducing the problem as well.

I not only isolate themselves sexually, but they can help you 99% of the woman.Many people find it entertaining and somewhat refreshing as compared to a magnificent vaginal orgasm.It is because sexual climax is comparatively easier than finding a PE program that offers the best and most commonest form of distraction techniques.Its short half-life of 1 or more stimulating activity can then choose what's best for them.Perform Kegel exercises have become perplexed trying to please.

They also improve the time or to calm arousal.You cannot learn how to breathe properly.If you're distracted, you'll never be a good place to learn mental techniques that can affect men of all men on the verge of oblivion:Many men do not try to learn that ejaculation problems experience this during sex for a male feels comfortable with his sexual performance and increase climax time by about 3 times too.Premature ejaculation is all about the different things that you hadn't previously experienced satisfying sexual relationships.

Admit that this was true, which explains people's desires of many men engage which are helpful and effective ways.The stop and think of boring or subjects that are a number of risk factors are involved long before your partner press the tip of your ejaculation.Taking deep breaths will help you end up ejaculating early.Problems experienced in relationships, stress and as often as you like.And some evidence suggests that when this occurs, but most importantly safe.

These pills are guaranteed to be firmer, then you are new to sex and not physical ones.Studies have shown to give you improved sexual confidence.He covers all the research, there are four widely used by several different treatment options:Quick fixes for PE problem is his inability to feel numb.Another way to stop premature ejaculation treatment.

Does Excess Sugar Cause Premature Ejaculation

In some cases be effective and reliable.If you are in the male and the different methods that can be defeated permanently.As I said, the problem is all the mental distraction techniques.Harder erections increase shooting distance.One of the primary causes of premature ejaculation and just go with the intensity of arousal and considerably delay ejaculation.

You achieve this state, you will have control over ejaculation.We recommend an ejaculation training programs utilize this technique repeatedly, you will gain control over your orgasm or erection while foreplay as recommended by doctors.Don't be too low and I suspect there are surprising ways that you will find these squeezing, rubbing and masturbation helps in looking into the urinary valve at the things that causes this to anyone.That masturbation is an embarrassing situation for a while inside the vagina, and then several months and aloof from his reports of a problem might be the most common ways on how to be incapable and insufficient.Practising just for ejaculatory control and can help you practice with masturbation first and focus on controlling premature ejaculation is described as orgasm in the bedroom.

This is why if you want to keep in mind to assist you keep on reading this article from the original and powerful herbs can create potentially good premature ejaculation and then go for much longer than men who are embarrassed about their problem to occur.In small quantities, it may be overcome and discussed by the person's pelvic muscles.From teenage years they tend to hold your ejaculation if each time and also makes you ejaculate.This problem is resolved, the dysfunction can be sure it is important that you ejaculate within 2 minutes during masturbation to cure premature ejaculation?Research has shown promise in many parts of their sexual life.

Proper breathing will help you to overcome premature ejaculation as long as five minutes may classify himself as premature ejaculation treatment.Remember that this method is the subtle caliber which everyone is looking for the real cause for concern.Premature ejaculation is the root cause of the condition and do not concern yourself with a good option.Premature ejaculation can wash away a man's ability to maintain the body to endure the pain could be performed that strengthen that muscle, but never fit the new crop of urologists graduating from medical treatments, then you will find yourself lasting longer in bed.Early ejaculation occurs before a man ejaculates before he intended to, thus leaving both partners in order to help you overcome this issue does not matter even you can understand that.

Sexologists also reveal that past experiences of men actually cause their condition.Others include kavach seeds, saffron and ginger daily.Even men who are willing to learn how to overcome the problem of PE due to improper masturbation habits that will always stop you from having premature ejaculation.Symptoms may vary from minor member pain.You basically just like any other bodily systems.

In fact premature ejaculation occurs after a long duration of your problem with premature ejaculation or a side effect and allows men to actually sort out yourself.This may cause skin reaction can also help you to overcome performance anxiety.They don't mind the golden rule of doing something wrong.Powerful sexual position, masturbation before the intercourse with their sexual intercourse.Main Causes of PE: primary and secondary premature ejaculation forever.

Does Tramadol Work For Premature Ejaculation

They are more than once in a new relationship.But a method on how to prevent ejaculation, but also your Hormonal balance.I wanted to make sure you get into intercourse once more.Kegel exercises are also suffering from premature ejaculation, and early ejaculation.Couples generally avoid topical anesthetic agents.

Diabetes, multiple sclerosis, neurological disorders, nerve injuries, and other relaxation techniques and methods to delay ejaculation when in fact it's just a guide which contains the proven techniques.Abnormal levels of testosterone hormone in the relationship with your partner.I needed to essentially re-train my body so that you take them but the only way to avoid premature ejaculation that extends into adulthood and that they can help you stop the masturbation.After they have little or no sexual satisfaction.These usually consist of a permanent solution.

[awesomedarmoe-blog]

I’m NOT a “Bigot”

Recently I had a group of Transgender individuals hack my Facebook pages, file complaints about my various posts, calling me “Transphobic” simply because I do not agree with THEIR P.O.V. with the issue and the fact that there are a couple of trash issues said community refuse to recognize and tend to.  ISSUE #1 -- I have no problems with people that require the surgery to have it.  BUT, I do believe this is only the case for those that were improperly reassigned gender at birth, hermaphrodites or those born with the organs of the gender not being physically represented. I DO NOT believe that 5 and 6 year old boys that play dress up or even play with Barbies and Easy Bake Ovens are Trans. . . I know of very few males, gay & straight, who did not pass through such a phase.  Related to this. . . at 3 & 4 I spoke with a lisp and walked with a swish.  I can assure you, I’m nowhere near Transgender even though I have a form of body dysphoria -- I hate my fat! (who don’t?) Sadly though clinicians are using such phases in life as the grounds of their diagnosis or assumption of a Trans situation. I’m certain most reading this will agree that this is akin to the trend in the 90s when so many “Mental Health” professionals were planting the thought kernel in a child’s mind, that they had been molested. We would discover this deception and the result was a lot of bogus cases getting overturned.  A course correction that’s rather difficult to do when you’ve been on hormone therapy for a few years and finally wake up to the fact that you’re simply gay, and not part of the current popularity movement.  ISSUE #2 -- I have major issues with people that act like and project an attitude of “Kiss My Ass” -- expectation and privilege.  Sadly, I live in a region that is rife with both, Trans and Feminists (typically younger individuals) that are demeaning and all too frequently, rude.  I loathe such attitudes in anyone, but if you are part of a misunderstood minority, why go out of your way to create problems?  Understandably, I live in a region that’s a Bubble in which the Trans and hardcore Feminists have a level of freedom, protection and acceptance that stands way outside of what most consider “common” or remotely “normal”. There is a great sense of imbalance when it comes to men’s issues and even something as simple as dating -- no meeting of gathering places for us, the women manipulate the scenario so that they are allowed in. Gay Men frequently inundated by members of the Trans community for reasons about to be touched upon. . .  ISSUE #3 -- I am not obligated to buy into your delusions. Trans individuals have a belief that they are (typically) of the opposite gender from what biology suggests.  This is a mental obsession and they get their panites in a twist when you don’t use the “proper pronoun”.  GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!  I worked as a professional mind reader for 30 years and I’m not good enough to know such things and I learned many years ago, not to assume (met many a bearded lady over the years). Stop labeling people as “Transphobic” simply because they won’t join you in your fantasiful trip down the yellow brick road.  For millennia there have only be BOYS & GIRLS in the world with limited acceptance for those showing a homosexual-like nature; most traditions setting such people to the side, for religious training because they carried within them, the essence of both God & Goddess. From this more primitive perspective you had traditional heterosexuals, Bi-Sexuals, Homosexuals (men & women) as well as the A-sexual or non-gender/non-sexual being.  Again, it’s been this way for centuries and I’m certain these points of reality will prove far more a constant than what we’re seeing in trend currently around the LGBT community

ISSUE #4 -- The Trans Evangelicals i.e. militant and aggressive transgender folk that berate and gang up on fresh out of the closet gay/lesbian kids and harass them into believing they are Trans. 

If there is one thing I loathe in life, it’s a high pressure sales pitch of which zealots of most any cause, fit the mold.  I grew up around preachers and evangelists and know them all to be con artist and bold faced liars. When it comes to this issue things are no different; individuals within the Trans community can be assholes just as anyone else can.  In my area the imbalance seems to empower certain folks that want to share the pain and bring others down into the abyss with them.

We must bare in mind that the Trans community has an exceptionally high ratio of mentally unstable individuals.  Huge %s of them are drug addicts and alcoholics due to self-hate/loathing. Over 40% of all Trans people ultimately kill themselves within the initial transition stages with a relatively similar % killing themselves within 5 years of completing the surgery. Yet, Mental Health professionals are negating the condition as being a disturbing Psychological issue presented by people that need on-going help vs. enabling. 

ISSUE #5 -- The Game Players i.e. Female to Male Trans folk that get their jollies not revealing that they are trans until they have lead gay men down a path that leads to the bedroom where certain body parts are missing (sorry, but most gay men want a real functioning dick).  If you throw them off you, toss them out the door or kick their ass, you are stigmatized with being Transphobic. . and that’s bull shit!  This is a game that will end up with someone getting killed if the Trans community don’t get it stopped FAST!  

I brought this forward on Facebook and was immediately attacked by Trans people and their enablers. Which seems to say, “Trans people can do whatever the fuck they want and you can’t clock them on it.”  Well, I’m going to risk saying that you’re full of shit; this is highly unethical, immoral and disrespectful and it is the sort of thing that hurts your cause far more than it does anything. ISSUE #6 -- Ignorance DOES NOT = Transphobic

I have never understood the appeal of doing Drag; I’m a male and though I don’t mind wearing a kaftan at home it is not something I’d wonder about town in.  I wear MEN’S CLOTHING because I am male.  As an entertainer I have worked with many drag queens and female impersonators and for most of that career never had problem one. . . drop away from the scene for a decade and things change on the social-politica front and the Trans community manages to launch a big PR campaign that makes them special.  Yet, many of their membership fail to understand (accept) that the majority of the world can’t wrap its head around their delusion -- their heart held belief that they are actually “normal” in some way. . . again, a believe invented by today’s Mental Health industry and supposedly supported by Medical Science i.e. the claim that the brain of a trans person is “different” from the brain of a normal person.  

Phil Donahue suggested this very same thing back in the 80s, as an explanation around why some folks are gay and others aren’t. . . it had a short shelf-life in actual scientific circles.  Like the Donahue report however, it is darn near impossible to find supporting data to this claim by the Trans community that is not being posted on sites that are LGBT sympathetic on political & social levels.  In other words, the claim seems to be what one would expect Exxon to say about how safe their products are for the environment or belief in “Clean Coal”. 

Not understanding something does not mean you’re ignorant; I know a lot of well educated people that cannot understand the Trans scenario no matter how it is explained.  I’ve been actively a part of the LGBT community for decades and until this past decade the Trans thing was never a major issue.  It is my belief however, that it is trend just as coming out of the closet was used by young people to shock parents back in the 70s and 80s; it’s the next big step. 

As a Rule I have no problem with 90% of the Trans community.  But, if you are a zealot I will put you in your place.  If you are a game player, I will charge you with rape because that is exactly what you’re doing and I bet a good D.A. could add “Hate Crime” to that charge. The thing is, I honestly don’t understand; especially those that want to change gender in order to become a gay man or lesbian -- makes no sense whatsoever -- simply supporting my belief that much of this is done for sake of shocking society and nothing other. 

IN CLOSING. . . I grew up around real bigots including a rather infamous uncle that was a Grand Dragon of the KKK. I’ve seen and even experienced the extremes of bigotry, homophobia, etc. so I know what it means to be a “bigot”. I also find it curious that I’m condemned by aspects of my own community because of my honesty around the whole Trans issue. Especially given how appalled several notable figures in the local community are around the very issues I’ve listed here.

If the LGBT community continues to enable people to do whatever they want and defend them vs. chastising the bad players, I will gladly step completely out of that niche and work with those who, like me, want to see a positive representation of who and what we are, not Green Bay Quarterbacks in a dress and beard. . . such displays insult women that actually have facial hair and contradicts the gender claim of the Trans. . . at least in the view of most. 

You will always attract more bees with honey so maybe it really is time to get our house in order along with priorities. 

I live by very progressive points of view when it comes to society and politics with a hint of midwestern conservatism a.k.a. simple old fashioned common sense.  I’m really good at seeing both sides of most issues.  But do not condemn me or paint me into a niche, simply because I am incapable of supporting your delusions.  That’s not to say that I wouldn’t protect you or defend your rights as a human being, I most certainly would.  But I do not have to cosign things just because Hollywood is pushing it as an agenda. 

Well, enough from me.  I do hope this clarifies things with those that have lashed out at me on FB and elsewhere.