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#i am really going there today aren't i
uncanny-tranny · 10 months
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The frustrating thing about having good days with pain or bodily irritation or mobility or whatever else isn't that it's a "good day." It's the feeling that you are either greatly exaggerating your suffering or worse, that you're secretly wanting attention/admiration for your suffering. I think people sometimes are confused as to why good days in terms of disability can be distressing to some, but it is precisely that you almost... overthink the Implications of good days.
It isn't that you want to be suffering, it is that you are taught you will only be "worthy" of help if you are suffering in the Right way (and having any good days are often seen as a sign that you aren't "truly worthy").
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thebirdandhersong · 8 months
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I think the problem. the problem is that I have always been afraid of not being invited into the inner circle. and am always wanting to be part of the inner circle. inner circle being the circle of love and companionship and communion. of course being a TCK and a bit of a sheltered homeschooled oddball child has nudged this further along over the years. but I didn't realise how STRONG that desire still burned. to actually be wanted.
#in other words today has been an oddly sad day! discovering that the friends you've made have their own group chats#that are separate from the general group chat (that no one ever talks on) that you aren't a part of is......... i don't know#i KNOW i'm liked by them and i KNOW they love me but do they WANT me around?#like. i know i'm not UNpleasant to have around. i am a good listener and a good conversationalist.#i work very hard at it because it doesn't come naturally to me.#but clearly that's not enough to be added to exclusive group chats! clearly that's not enough to be part of inner core circles#i don't know this just came out of nowhere and i feel as if i've been slapped in the face#sitting at a table where people are talking about the thing someone sent to the group chat#or the photo or quote or reel someone sent to someone else is....... bizarre.#i am trying not to be so hurt by it! i am trying not to take it so personally#it happens. i know it happens. i know it will keep happening. it is just that i thought this was a place where i wouldn't be lonely#and this is the dorm community i've invested so much of my time and energy and love into since last year.#so i think i'm justified in being a little upset!#i'm not crying about it but that's because i'm not about to cry with other people sitting here in the study lounge!#the math is probably really wrong here but i thought that if i poured love in for the sake of pouring love in#somehow somewhere along the line i would also receive love. that i would actually be a part of this community.#anyway that's not going to change how i live here! i committed myself to doing my best this last year#because i don't want anyone to feel left out or unwanted or lonely. i already made the decision#to do everything i can to love the people here.#i'm not trying to toot my horn this is just what i actually want to and have decided to do!#i have birthday cards planned! i have midterm snacks planned!#i've just worked out how i can print christmas and easter cards and stickers!#i'm GOING to love darn it all i'm GOING to pour love in#i think it hurts especially because there's the boy problem going on too#of not being wanted in an area that i DIDN'T expect to be wanted in#and then learning that there is a collective not being wanted in this whole community#it is a Lot and it is very hard and i don't know what to do with it!#i have had this lie (that i'm inherently unloveable and undesirable) in my head since childhood#and i've worked SO HARD to shut that voice up. and it is so so hard to not believe it right now
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bookshelf-in-progress · 9 months
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A big part of author life is learning to make peace with the stories you'll never write.
#adventures in writing#there are layers to this#one part is learning that not every intriguing idea can or should be a complete story#you can just let it sit in an idea folder as a fun daydream and that's fine#then there are the ones that just cycle through#catch your attention for a while but then fall away#but every so often they come to mind and get developed further#and it's likely that one day maybe some of them will stick around long enough to get written#then there are the ones you have to let go#they interested you for a long time and may even have in-depth developments/significant parts of drafts#and you have to recognize that there were fatal flaws to the idea that prevent it from coming to life#and/or you've moved beyond the person you were then and aren't going to be able to write that story in the way it needs#but some of those still stick in your head#coming to mind and making you think maybe you could revamp them into something usable#and you gotta decide if it's worth the effort or if you should prioritize more recent ideas#because this process is cumulative and gets worse as you get older#today i am very very close to trying to find someone who's read my arateph stories#and asking if they'd let me just spill all the plot points of all the arateph retellings i've never written#some have fatal flaws but all have at least some aspect that i really loved#and it kills me not to have any of it in other people's imaginations#the main character and themes of the princess and the pea one#the character arc potential of the goose girl one#the clever (i think) twist on the central little red riding hood moment#one heartwrenching scene in rapunzel#i don't know if i'll ever be able to write the stories but the ideas still live in me and sometimes it hurts to keep it inside#anyhow have a good day
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moki-dokie · 4 months
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how to make 19 year old boy who came of age during the pandemic and never had a real real job before now realize he needs to Chill The Fuck Out and be Less eagar about working for free holy shit he is impossible to wrangle
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longagoitwastuesday · 5 months
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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years
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golden wing boy!! fitz boy!! golden wonderboy!! my boy!!
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[ID in alt.]
listen. listen it's wings day for Fitz (chosen by the wonderful @synonymroll648) and I literally have a wings au I had to. I was legally required to. and yesterday was golden day and I literally gave Fitz golden eagle wings in the au. please look at him
KOTLC Art Taglist:
(let me know if you'd like to be added or removed!)
@bronte-deserves-better @imaramennoodle @thisbluewind @we-have-no-bananas-today @theofficialkai517 @ruewen-and-rising @keefeinnit @thesandsofdawn @crumpledwitchfeet @ascendant-queen @tribblemakingalicorn @axels-corner @loverofallthingssmart @silveny-dreams @girlofmanyfandoms @enbies-and-felonies @impostertamsong @sofia-not-sophie @alabestrine @keefes-hairgel @fanartofthelostcities @three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat @a-lonely-tatertot @ketterdamkid @cosmogyral-cleo @meg-doodles @dragonwinnie-kotlc @anaccidentwaitingtohappen @maglorslostsilmaril @even-if-in-another-time @crazedfangirl14 @callas-pancake-tree @katniss-elizabeth-chase
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sercphs · 16 days
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⠀⠀⠀⠀Sometimes you just need to take off your arm and tinker with it. How often do you see a woman pull her own off and start fiddling with it in her lap? Maybe she could give a colleague a heart attack with it..? Hm, maybe she already did.
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astarkey · 8 months
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Lol, I was gonna show off my completed Sally Owens costume since my skirt was delivered today, but little did I know that today is the 25th anniversary of the Practical Magic movie. Go figure 😆
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criscura · 3 months
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Nothing will make you feel like more of an absolute failure of a human being than not being able to get technology to work right
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qilinkisser · 3 months
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I feel bad blocking my friend on this blog. but she can't see this anymore.
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seagullcharmer · 3 months
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owwwww
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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months
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...
#it's so weird trying to describe yourself when u really aren't something u used to be#like until i was probably 21 or so id say i was shy. very very shy. but now im like was that even true? was i ever shy bc im not now#maybe i was just quiet and anxious. maybe thats just what being shy is. but im still both of those things but im not shy#im sorta like a hermit. i dont really go around ppl if i can avoid it but i dont hate being around ppl. its just that im less anxious when#im alone. but if u put me around ppl i like to talk to them so im not shy. ill say whatever. i dont really give a fuck#but if u throw me in a group i go back to being a non entity. i guess thats just being an introvert with an asocial streak#thats a thing i noticed while i was at the grad weekend i attended in march. the group would gather and do things while i kinda just#wandered away from them to poke at trees and sit in the snow. i dunno i just feel better away from ppl. my brain gets a lot louder if ive#been too social. which is a shame bc its interesting to watch ppl and understand how thry work#my friend came over to day goodbye before i leave next week. which was nice. i wish we would have hung out more in person but so it goes#and i think in my head im a lot more contained thst i actually am. like if u set me a task that becomes my focus but im also sorta all over#the place. partly bc i think my brain works on like a lag. and also my mood is a little elevated rn so im sorta like *jazz hands* and#talking too fast and too much and oversharing. yesterday i was instrucing an undergrad and felt so bad bc my brain was all over the place.#could not b made linear. im tired now tho bc theres nothing more draining than being emotionally honest and talking for like 2hrs. woof. it#so hot. like fucking so hot bc the monsoons have started and humidity is up so my swamp cooler is fucked and its gotta b at least 80 degree#inside my apartment. holy christ. and the temp has been over 100 degrees for like at least 2 weeks. its so hot its kinda alarming. and im#glad my friend was also freaked out by how hot its been bc oh god its hot. and i cant focus. ive done fuck all today. but i did get rid of#couch which is so so so great. ugh. someone make the sun stop making it so hot#unrelated#its been over 100 degrees outside for like 2 weeks. not on my apartment#and when i say i wish i spent more time with my friend irl. i mean it in a distant sort of way. like thats how im supposed to feel. like i#dont kno if thats actually what i feel or i kno im supposed to b social but idk if i actually mean it
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amiharana · 1 year
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A very loose prompt: a while ago I found a bunch of Stone tower temple theme covers (especially NostalgiCore's and TheNamelessBard's covers), and that got me in a Revalink mood: first, a pretty straightforward idea of Revali and BotW!Link somehow walking around Stone Tower ruins and wondering just what those ruins were in its prime, and second: the tunes living on, and Revali or Link dancing to one of them while the other is watching (also, the fact that one of the catchiest fan lyrics go "danger lurks around every bend, you cannot succed alone; sing the song, let go of your grief, solider comes whose heart is stone" could be pretty easily made to fit revalink: both Link and Revali have reasons to craft an image of themselves as an unsheakeble warrior (Link literally stopped talking out of fear of saying the wrong thing, and Revali tries to look like the most arrogant Rito to ever walk Hyrule, despite evidence to the countrary) as someone who may as well have a heart of stone, and both of them have things they grieve about, so them going together through Ikana valley - a place that requires putting ghosts to rest - would sound a lot like fulfilling the lyrics. Bonus points if they actually need to solve the Stone Tower puzzles together to go back to BotW and key Ikana characters are still around to help them(not really ship relevant, I just thought it would be lowkey funny when BotW boys would bump into Ikana undead and learn that one of the Hero incarnations had shown up here already).
anon i first want to sincerely apologize it took me so long to answer this ask because (1) i never finished playing majora's mask so i can't write a good enough fic to do justice to mm lore and (2) it was sent during a time when i was probably prepping for an exam. i'm still prepping for exams, i have another one next wednesday 😭
but i still took the time to go find and listen the covers you were mentioned! i hope these were the right ones, because they went kinda hard ☝️😩 they both made me think about a tangled au like flynn rider!revali x rapunzel!link, like that one scene where everyone is dancing together in the town center or whatever lol. i couldn't find the one you mentioned with fan lyrics though but if you'd like to send them, or if anyone else knows where it's from, please do!
iirc, termina is a completely different world from hyrule and oot!link somehow gets in after an altercation with skull kid who has the majora's mask. spoilers for people who haven't played mm? but i just read that termina was a creation of skull kid's own mind so it's not even a real world 😳 so i'm interested to know how link and revali got into the stone tower temple in the first place, or if another temple of the same name perhaps exists in hyrule analogous to the one in termina. like would they run into skull kid somewhere in botw's hyrule? or find the mask on their own (since majora's mask is available in botw as dlc) and somehow termina still exists within the mask? link why the fuck would you put on the mask what da hell?
i would assume that termina's existence relies on skull kid's active envisionment of it and link's constant resetting with the ocarina that causes the perpetual three-day time loop and prevents the moon from falling. and in addition, that termina was created with the purpose of being skull kid's plaything to . hurt and kill people out of his frustration? like i said, i never got to finish mm so i'm kind of iffy on the details of the story sawrryy ✋😭 but it's like. does termina go against the conventions of time? if we assume that termina is a creation of skull kid's imagination, will it be able to continue existing as its own world? will it always be in a three-day loop or after oot!link saves termina, does it continue in a regular continuous flow of time, therefore resulting in the ruins of the stone tower temple? would places like clock town still be thriving thousands of years later? like what if link and revali met skull kid somehow in botw, pissed him off, got dragged in termina, and had to go exactly through what oot!link did in order to escape LMAOOO
i could imagine revali and link bickering about how the other was the reason why they got into this mess, and then they step into clock town from within the clock tower and are completely shocked because they were just in the lost woods and now they're in the middle of a town??? you mentioned wanting to see them meet key mm characters specifically from ikana, but since i don't know any of them (i'm sorry again 😭), imagine link and revali meeting anju at the stockpot inn just trying to get a room to sleep and anju being like. huh. your name is link, too? and having to explain to revali n link that a child in green with the same name and disposition as botw!link had come to termina years ago and saved their town from the moon falling and destroying it. and revali and link are just like. The moon was WHAT? and a CHILD saved you????
link and revali joining in during the carnival of time, and maybe the carnival of time now has a segment where they retell the story of the child in green who saved termina through song and dance, and link gets roped into dancing with the townspeople during the stone temple tower piece. he doesn't know the dance at all, but one thing about link is that he picks up very quickly on everything 😙 so revali is off to the sides of the town center with everyone else crossing his arms, watching link as he begins to catch onto the choreography and keeping in step with the rest of the dancers. he spins and twirls and claps with the other dancers, a smile growing on his face as the song continues, and revali is completely enamored. link had always been beautiful to him, but he was constantly surprisingly revali. this might become one of revali's favorite aspects of link's beauty now.
by the end of the dance, link is panting, sweating, and his cheeks are flushed with a rosy glow. revali's eyes are still on him; they never left link at all. someone nudges revali with their elbow and he glances at them briefly. "that one yours?" they say with a smirk, pointing their chin at link. revali looks back at link, who's smiling brightly thanking and complimenting the other dancers. the little hylian then catches revali's eye, and his bright grin becomes a shy, but warm smile.
revali's gaze softens. "he's not a object to possess," he says to the stranger. he watches as link bows slightly to the other dancers in farewell, then begins to jog back over to revali. "but if there's any possession occuring, it would be his hold on my heart." the stranger says nothing, eyes wide.
once link approaches, his jog falters into a walk. "have fun?" revali says, rather softly.
link nods, smiling. "i didn't think i'd learn it that fast, but it was a really fun dance."
revali hums. "well, it looked like you had fun doing it. ready to turn in for the night?"
"mhm," link replies, and revali can hear the drowsiness beginning to seep into his ever-slumberous songbird's voice. the little hylian then moves forward to cling to revali's wing, and the rito glances at the stranger who's been watching their exchange the entire time.
"enjoy the rest of your evening," revali says primly to him. he tosses his braids over his shoulder as they turn away to walk back to the inn. while he didn't "own" link, it was true, at least, that his heart was for link to own.
i don't want this to get too long and end up misremembering details or something, but imagine some of the lyrics of the stone tower temple song resonating too deeply with revali and link after they think about it later, so they ask anju about it and she tells them about the actual stone tower temple in ikana valley that the song talks about and maybe that's how they end up traveling to the temple, exploring the ruins, somehow getting booby-trapped inside, and having to complete old-school dungeon puzzles to get out 😄
that's all from me for now. if anyone else is interested in writing for this prompt, go for it 🫣
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idontknowiknow · 11 months
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I love to take the bus because I can play on my phone (and get so so motion sick) and don't have to park. I need to take the bus more often because it has become dark and everything is unrecognisable and I become panicky that I don't know where I am. The bus does not go the way I drive. However I just passed my normal supermarket. I have passed through the shadow of the valley of death
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mildmayfoxe · 1 year
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kept seeing the promoted ads for the new hotel key fob in the tumblr store and, in an effort to try to not get annoyed by them, decided i should order my own
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forbiddennhoney · 7 months
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i hope all my friends who i don't talk to as much as i wish i did know they're constantly in my thoughts
#personal#i am in a constant state of agony because of how much i struggle to carry casual convos ):#bc i want to be closer to so many ppl#and i also stink at convos that aren't about specific things#and it makes it really hard to make friends bc the time it takes me to feel comfortable talking regularly is like...... long#and then i don't bother bc i feel like an ass#my heart hurts a little and I'm gonna cry from this insecurity today i can just feel it#esp cause today is the first time my best friend and i are gonna hang on vc even though we've been friends for like 7 years#and ik they don't mind bc they have similar hang ups and they love me and they're really patient with me and such#but also i feel so pathetic that i cant even regularly just call ppl to hang out#i feel like I'm a terrible person and the shittiest friend for having so many limits and boundaries and moving so slow#and the thing is i used to know how to go faster in friendships but between abuse and skill regression I'm...... terrible now#stupid asshole ex#the more i think of my struggles with interpersonal things the more i realize how much he impacted it#like i already stunk at making friends IRL by the time i met him like that's always been a thing#but i used to be so good at making friends online!!#and then he came into my life (as a friend first) and slowly isolated me from everyone for a few years before declaring that we had been-#-dating for a year (we had never officially started a relationship)#and then isolated me more and more until i literally only had him#4 years total with him in my life.#4 years that were crucial to my personhood (17-21)#4 years that by the time i finally managed to get him out of my life i had severely blunted social skills & more trauma than I already had#and now that I'm almost 4 years out from him being in my life (next spring) im realizing just how much he fucked me up#and took advantage of me and exacerbated issues he knew i had (bc i confided in him- he was my friend at first after all)#and even with a lot of work i still have the social skills of a severely abused reactive dog in a shelter#i should talk with my therapist more about this#i still haven't even fully shared my story with her about how he treated me bc every time i start i get so scared and upset i just sob#ugh):
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