#i am sitting on a couch with three (3) dogs whom i thought were very sweet

[grandhike]

.

[waynewifey]

A dream of you and me—

soulmate!au

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: In a world where a dream means something more, trying to save the boy from your dreams can change your life.

Warnings: angst, crying

Words: 1900.

A/N: Thank you so much for the amazing feedback on my last fic! I’m sorry it took me so long to comeback, please remember that my requests are always open! I hope you like this.

I've always liked dreaming. It's the moment of the day where I'm taken to a random place with random people to live a priceless adventure. Tonight I dreamed with a boy. Well, I was the boy. We were running through the Hogwarts corridors, but somehow no one saw us. It was like we were invisible. We ran up to the bridge, staring at the moonlight. He was sad for an unknown reason, I could feel it. I saw his black locks blocking the vision when it winded. I've never seen his face before, but, somehow, he felt like... home. He let out a deep breath and I heard some footsteps approaching. Suddenly, the image became blurred. I let out a gasp, waking up. I stared at the ceiling for a moment, before opening my curtains, looking around and noticing it was still night. I got up and walked to the biggest window in the room. The moon looked exactly like the one in my dream. Maybe it is happening right now, I thought. But that was impossible. Well, not really impossible, more like improbable. The soulmate link was a very rare occasion. One would dream about the day or the moment the other were living for days or years, until they meet and recognise each other as soulmates. But they wouldn't see faces or hear voices, so that turned the meeting more difficult and rare. I've never met soulmates beside the ones in fantasy books.

The morning after, I woke up earlier than usual, as I could barely sleep. I got ready quickly and ran to the Great Hall. I was looking for someone who looked like they haven't slept properly, someone who may be up all night. But, to be honest, all seventh graders looked almost dead, thanks to the exams. A red head sat beside me, putting some books on the table.

"I have something to tell you." I immediately said.

"Not even a 'Good Morning'? Fine then. What is it?" Lily Evans replied. I rolled my eyes at her, beginning to speak.

"I dreamt with someone. I know it's rare but I really think it may be... that." She looked disinterested, picking her food. "Lily, I'm serious! It felt so real! And I could feel his feelings too! What should I do?"

"There's nothing to do yet, I guess. You'll have to keep dreaming and collecting clues. But maybe you could forget about it and help me with my charms assignments." She bit a piece of bread and I gave her an yellow smile. By the corner of the eye, I saw a group of boys approaching.

"Or you could ask your pain in the ass boyfriend." She scoffed, turning around and smiling at James Potter, whom were now sitting beside her, embracing her back with his arm and laughing loudly about something I didn't knew. Remus Lupin sat on my side, as usual. He was the only tolerable one in the group. He often helped me with my studies, but our relationship was very far from a friendship. Other two boys sat in front of us.

The day went by normally. Too many classes for my last two neurones. I was exited to go to my dorm and sleep, to test my theory.

I could see the dark sky and the Whomping Willow. A rat ran to the roots of the tree and pressed a small knot. The tree stoped moving. We dove into a hole next to it. After a long time walking inside of a tight tunnel, we arrived at the gardens of a house. The Shrinking Shack?! What is he doing here? We entered the house and walked to what looked like a living room. I watched as a gigantic creature approached. Some kind of wolf, but it was standing in two legs. It's arms were thin. It was looking a bit... tired? I analysed the beast carefully. A werewolf! Why was he around that monster? He was in danger!

I jumped out of  bed, running to get my robe and my wand. I left the dorms, running to the Castle Grounds. The wind was extremely cold, but I kept running. I searched for the knot on the Whomping Willow. After a few times being thrown in the air by the tree, I finally got to the secret hole. It seemed like it took me forever to get to the house. I heard a howl and a growl, which made me desperate to find my soulmate. Would he even be alive by now? I came across a bizarre scene. A werewolf, a huge black dog, a stag and a mouse – the mouse in my dreams – all laying on the floor. The werewolf turned its head to me, growling at me. The dog jumped, getting in front of me. Where was my soulmate? The werewolf tried to attack me, but the stag got on its way. They were protecting me? Why? The dog barked at me, getting my attention. He ran to the exit door, turning his head back at me, as if he were calling me. I followed him. I ran to the gardens, but the dog was gone. Suddenly, a boy came out of behind a tree, wearing a black fur robe. I annalized his face in the moonlight. I recognised his black locks from my dreams. Sirius Black.

"What are you doing here? You need to go back to the castle right now." He said, eyes not focusing on me and ears on alert, still taking care of whatever was happening in the house.

"What are YOU doing here?! Did you know that is not a regular wolf, but a werewolf?! And if it bites you-"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Now, you. Leave." He cut my speech, making me roll my eyes.

"I can't let you die! Every night I have these dreams, you're always getting yourself in trouble and-"

"You dream with me? You saw Moony?"

"Yes, Black, keep track. Stop interrupting me. Wait, who's Moony?" Sirius looked around, getting closer and lowering his voice, like he was about to tell me a secret.

"Remus Lupin. He's a werewolf. The stag is James Potter. I'm not sure if you've seen it, but the rat is Peter Pettigrew and... I'm the dog. Yeah, yeah, woof. We're animagus. Remus is under control... well, kind of. But it's still not safe for you and I need to take you back to the castle." I was stunned when he grabbed me by the elbow and made me walk all the way back. My thoughts wouldn't process, my mind was a mess.

"You're supposed to drink the tea, not stare at it, you know?" Sirius said, his voice echoing in the empty common room. I blinked for the first time in a while. I took a last look at my teacup, glancing upwards. I stared at his obsidian orbits, frowning my eyebrows trying to figure out what to say. Sirius Black was my soulmate. This guy I've never really talked to before, whom I know practically nothing about, and now I discover he's an illegal animagus, friends with a werewolf and will probably reject me so badly the angels will pity and and let me escape from hell. Because I made it quite obvious by telling him about my dreams, and he ignored it.

"I dreamt about you, you know what this means, right?" I couldn't keep the eye contact for long and quickly went back to staring at my tea. I moved in the couch to a more closed posture.

"Yeah, I understand it just fine." He said. I couldn't figure out his emotions by the tone of his voice, so I looked at him. His expression was as neutral as his tone, not helping me at all.

"Oh, okay. I wasn't expecting this." I rested my cup on the coffee table in front of us, getting up. I felt a slight spark of anger inside of me, starting to burn everything. He scoffed, leaning back on the chair. "Well I don't like that either! It's just- It seems unfair to condemn me to literal hell just because you're not happy about me being your soulmate!" The words bursted out of my mouth without a previous warning, tears forming in my eyes. I had waited for so long to see if I had a soulmate and he just scorn me like that? "I'm sorry if I'm not what you expected, but this isn't my fault!" I blubbered, gathering all the small amount strength that kept me on foot to turn around and walk away. But before I could do so, his arms embraced me in a harm and desperate hug. The smell of his hair made me dizzy, and I could honestly live there.

"I never believed in this. I never thought fate would bring someone to keep company to a person like me but- seeing you cry made my heart ache... So please stay. I don't care if we're soulmates or not, I just... need you here."

Epilogue — 3 years later.

I finished mixing the coffee and placed it at the silver tray. I took a final look: scrambled eggs, fried tomatoes and mushrooms, and bangers — it all looked delicious. Not the kind of thing I was used to do, but I definitely am good at it. I walked to our room and opened the door. He was in the same place he was when I left earlier: the bed. I put the tray on the nightstand, preparing myself to wake him up. I sat beside him, staring at his unique features. The sunlight coming through the curtains lightened his nude torso and I got myself admiring his skin.

“Breakfast in bed? Who are you and what have you done to my girlfriend?” His husky morning voice, massaged my ears. “Fiancée, actually.”

“Well, I thought this was a great way to celebrate your first day of work and our three year anniversary.” I kissed the top of his head as my hands danced around on his curls. “But don’t get used to it, you’re the cooker in this relationship.”

“I love you, Y/N L/N Black.” I stared down at his face. The same face of the boy I fell in love with, a long time ago, and I remembered the first time we kissed through sobs and hugs. This was when I realised I loved Sirius Black more than anything in the world and I knew we were forever. I smiled at him and kissed him passionately.

“I love you too.” He smiled widely at me and pulled me to under the sheets, throwing my apron across the room. “You’ll be late, Siri.” Sirius rolled his eyes at me and got on top of me.

“I have more important matters to deal with right now.”

[pixie88]

Birthday Boy

Chapter 3 - Our Little Secret.

A/N: Queen B fanfiction. I’m currently editing and adding all  my FF to my new account. All being added to my pinned masterlist on my profile. Let me know if you would like to be tagged!

Find previous chapters HERE under Queen B - Our Little Secret.

Word count: 2180

WARNINGS: ⚠️ Some adult language and sexual content.

Disclaimer: Characters are property of Pixelberry.

Pairings: Ian x MC - Lyla.

Enjoy!

I make my way over to the bedroom door and peek through the small opening. I can see Ian is irritated by her arrival.

"Oh, Ian! You haven't forgotten have you?" I hear Lexi say "Forgotten? I don't think we had a meeting planned today, sorry?" she laughs and playfully slaps him, "Ian, you do make me laugh. I thought we could spend the day together as it's your birthday!" (What it's his birthday?!)  "Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm already otherwise engaged" "Oh, sorry I just assumed! I hope your plans don't involve that Lyla girl! Ian, you must know she's beneath you" she rolls her eyes Ian face turn fury before I hear his tone change.

"Lexi, whom I spent my birthday with isn't any of your concern. So, whether it's Lyla or not it is my business. I don't appreciate you talking about her like that" her faces turns to shock, I don't think she was expecting that (Way to go Ian!) "Right, sorry I guess I should get going then. Sorry to have bothered you and I hope you have a lovely birthday. Bye Ian" she makes her way to the front door "Bye Lexi and thank you!" she's gone.

I run back over to his bed and get back in just his bedroom door opens. I see Ian, smiles at me "I saw you looking through the door Lyla" I laugh "That's my dream of becoming a spy out of the window, then" he laughs, "So I guess you heard that conversation?" he makes his way over to the bed and sits next to me "I did, one, you're hot when you are annoyed, two, I love your protective side, it's sexy and three, happy birthday, Ian!" I pull him in for a quick kiss.

When he pulls away, he's smiling "Thanks Lyla" "I hope you have a great birthday, Ian!" I get up off the bed and start to get dressed "Lyla, Where are you going?" I turn to look at him. "I better get back plus you have plans, so I don't want to keep you" he looks disappointed, "Lyla, I do have plans, but those include you!" "Oh?" "Lyla, I want to spend my birthday with you. I'm meeting Lillian and Charlotte today and I want to introduce you to them, but only if you are comfortable with it?" he gives me those puppy dog eyes I can't resist.

"Ian, I would love to if you are ok with it?" He smiles at me "I think the fact it was my idea gives it away that I'm ok with it!" he reaches for me and pulls me back onto the bed. "Ok, I would love to spend the day with you but I need to go home to get dressed first" "I'll take you!" Ian takes a shower then gets dressed, and we head down to his car, and he takes me back to my dorm.

We pull up outside my dorm "I shouldn't be too long. Unless you want to come up?" He smiles "Lyla, I would love to but..." "You can't! I get it, giving your TA a lift home is one thing, but being caught inside her dorm room is another" he smiles weakly. "It's ok, I'll be as quick as possible!!" I get out the car and head inside.

Later we pull outside Zizzi's it's an Italian restaurant. "So, how do I introduce myself?" he looks at me and smiles "Lyla, I would love nothing more than to introduce you as my girlfriend but with me still working at the university..." "Ian, it's fine. If, asked I am your TA and we run into each other outside" he gives me a very weak smile.

We walk into the restaurant and Ian spots Lillian and Charlotte. We walk over to them, "Ian, Happy Birthday!" Lillian gets up to hug him. "Happy birthday Uncle Ian" he leans in to kiss her on the cheek. "Lillian, Charlotte this is Lyla, she is my" "Girlfriend?" Charlotte asks I look at Ian not sure what to say, but he smiles.

"Charlotte, you're correct how did you guess?" (Wait! What????? I thought we agreed! Did he just....) I don't hear Charlottes response "Aww, Ian! So, glad you finally found someone" Lillian says. He smiles at me "She does mean a great deal to me!" I give him a soft smile. "So, how did you two meet?" Lillian asks him as we take our seats. "We met at the Speakeasy about 8 months ago." He tells her as he lays a hand on my thigh offering me a warm smile.

I place my hand on top, he starts to stroke my hand with his thumb. We take a look at the menu and order our food. "Lillian, what's the most embarrassing memory of Ian?" She laughs and Ian shakes his head. "What about the time we were on holiday in Cyrus as we were leaving the shop Ian thought he was walking toward the exit, but he walked straight into a window! We heard an almighty bang!" I howl with laughter along with Lillian and Charlotte and Ian smiles and squeezes my leg. "That must have been a really clean window!" The rest of the lunch was full of laughter.

Later, after a bit of bowling with Lillian and Charlotte, Ian gives them a lift home, we are driving back to my dorm when Ian turns to me "Lyla, would you like to come back to mine for a couple of drinks?" he says with a cheeky grin. "Just a few drinks?" I smile "Maybe dinner too?" "Ok, now I'm sold! What are we having?" he laughs, "I was thinking ordering in? You can pick" we continue to drive to his.

When we get to his apartment, he opens a bottle of wine and pours us out a glass as we decide what to order. With the food ordered we are sat talking "Ian, You told Lillian and Charlotte I was your girlfriend after we agreed?" He sighs, "Lyla, that wasn't the plan but I also I didn't want to lie or deny it. But if you feel uncomfortable I'm...." I cut him off with a kiss, and he places his hands in my hair deepening the kiss.

His tongue plays with mine, he pulls back a little and grips my lip between his teeth. "Ian!" He pulls me back in, his hands start to roam my body, and he leans in more making me lay back onto the couch. His body is pressed on top of mine, his hands move my legs, so he can settle between them and mine tangle in his hair making him groan,"Lyla!".

I push him back up, he looks shocked "Ian, it's your birthday and as I didn't know until this morning I didn't have time to get you a present so this morning when you dropped me back to my dorm I decide to put on my best underwear especially for you!" I pull out my phone and press play weirdly enough Katy Perry's Birthday song plays. I get up and start swaying my hips to the beat "God...." He swallows hard.

I move towards him spreading his legs and dance between them his hands come up to grab my hips, but I slap them away "Ah ah ah, NO TOUCHING!" he curses under his breath. I lose my shirt and toss it at him before I straddle his lap. I can see him trying to fight the urge to touch me as I grind my hips against his.

I pull him forward by his tie and kiss him. He tries to deepen it, but I push him back "Lyla, you will be the death of me!" I wink at him before I get off his lap, turn and move my hips to the beat as I start to pull down my jeans. I turn to look over my shoulder at Ian and his eyes are focused on my arse.

My jeans drop to the floor and I turn watching Ian fully take in the view. I climb back onto his lap and kiss him hard, he groans and bites my lip again, I feel him smirk against my lips "You can touch me now!" His hands cup my breasts before his lips move from my lips, down my neck to my chest, he runs his tongue over my nipple.

"Ian! Wow!"  I unbutton his waistcoat and push it off him before tossing it over my shoulder. His hands move down my body and rest on my thighs, I grind against his hard member "Ohh Lyla!"  his lips crash against mine as I undo his shirt, I pull back just a little "I hope your birthday is everything you dreamed it would be Ian?" his eyes catch mine.

"It's been better than every dream I've had since I met you!"  he says in a husky tone in one swift movement he has me pinned against the couch as he kisses me hard. His hands run up my thigh to my centre, he strokes against me "Ian...I need to taste you!" I push him back until he's laying on the couch and I undo his trouser pulling them down with his boxers freeing him.

I take him in my hand and run my tongue from the base to the tip he groans, I fully take him in my mouth and work my way up and down him. He thrust his hip up, so I speed up my movements and slow them down teasing him "Lyla, it's not nice to teas...." he doesn't finish his sentence as I speed up again.

His hand tangles into my hair, he grips my hair and pulls a little. "God Lyla, I'm going to come!!" I double my efforts soon enough he reaches the edge "Fuck...Lyla!" "Happy birthday Ian!" I smirk as I come back up and his lips find mine. He takes my hand and pulls me up to stand he leads me towards his bedroom, but stops before we get to the door.

He pushes me hard against the wall, his lips cover mine once again, then he moves them down my body. He pulls down my underwear and lets them fall to the floor before he throws one of my legs over his shoulder as he is crouched down. "Ian what are yo..." His mouth finds my centre "Ohh Iannnnn!" he laps at my centre "Ian I need you," he looks up at me with a smirk "Not yet!"  I huff, he moves his tongue against my centre again before he hits the spot where I need him most.

He starts off slowly with small and drawn out thrusts, he curses under his breath, my hands grip his shoulders and my lips kiss against his pulse line. This spurs him on his thrust speed up "Yes!! Ian just like that!" I moan against his neck. With each thrust he becomes more urgent, my nails dig into his back, and he groans, "Oh god, mark me Lyla."  I dig my nails in more and drag them down his back "Fuck yes! That's it mark me as yours" I move my lips up his neck and nip his ear lobe.

I gasp his hair "oooohhhhhh!" then he stops "Why have you stopped?" He doesn't answer me, he just stands and his hands unclip my bra. He pulls down the straps "Lyla, you are beautiful!" "Do you want to show me how beautiful?" He lifts up my legs and wraps them around his hips before running his hard member along my entrance he smirks then enters me.

His thrust comes harder and faster I grip onto him as I'm about to lose myself. I know he can tell I'm near the edge as he pounds slowly out of me and hard back in "Wow Ian, keep doing that....Yes Ohhh!" I'm spent. Ian's lips brush against my ear "Come again for me" this build up the pressure again inside me.

He continues his same movements that sent me over the edge before and it's not long before I'm looking over again"Fuck! Ian come with me" he thrusts into me as hard as he can my legs are shaking. I fall over the edge for the second time and Ian falls with me "God Lyla! I love you!" "Ohh..I love you too!"  we are both panting barely catching our breath then the buzzer goes.

Ian looks at me "That will be the food!" he quickly dresses and I clean up in the bathroom. When I return he's lit a couple of candles and set up the table. "Aww! Ian!" He smiles brightly at me which melts my heart.

A few days later I'm heading to Ian's office with some essays I have graded. I knock and enter "Professor, I've graded those essays you wanted!" I hear a gasp, I look up to see Lillian sat opposite Ian "Ian, she's a student?!?"

Continue reading this story here - Chapter 4.

[raccoonmooon]

the poison, drunk

Post pledge ending, the hunter does not tell anyone when they leave Lunaris.

The hunter's sister (who is a hunter herself) acquires a lingering injury, and decides to take the time off to visit her sibling.

Instead she finds a mystery, and a town full of people who's help she will need to solve it.

categories: angst, hurt / comfort, eventual happy ending, maybe the hunter can have a little redemption arc, as a treat, two hunters, divergence from canon epilogue | pairings: August / F!Hunter, Finnzra, Finnzra / nb!Hunter | fic rating: explicit | content warnings (this chapter): none, but check the rating | word count: 7,735 |  read on AO3

Chapter 3/? | just me and the lavender moon

chapter summary-   Rowan arrives in Lunaris, Ezra thinks about moving

Rowan arrived in Lunaris just after midnight. Originally, she had planned to camp overnight and ride the last few hours of the trip in the morning, but by evening had found herself deep in the forest surrounding the little town, and thought better of it. Her instincts told her that there was more to the ancient, gnarled trees than met the eye. To say nothing of the relentless sense that she was being watched.

So she had pushed through, and now found herself alone, the steady clop of her horse’s shoes on cobblestone echoing in the narrow streets. With the moon swathed in clouds Lunaris was nearly as shadowed as the surrounding woods. And while it didn’t have the same malevolent air, it seemed still, like the quiet following the upheaval of a storm.

Eventually she found her way to the stables, situated on the edge of town between the forest and an imposing building she assumed was the local enforcer’s headquarters. The stable boy wasn’t pleased to be woken so late, but seemed used to it. She thanked him and left her horse in the safety of the barn. Shouldering her bag and stepping back out into the chill, Rowan found herself almost wishing she could stay in the warm structure, and fall asleep to the familiar scents of leather and sweet hay.

She set off in the direction she’d spotted the inn on the way into town. The echo of hooves was replaced by the increasingly familiar tap of her quarterstaff. It was a simple design, but reinforced and heavier than it looked. If she was going to have to carry around a big stick for a while, she very much preferred one that could be counted on to not break if she tried to hit something unpleasant with it. Not that she expected to be fighting monsters in the middle of a family reunion. Well. Perhaps she wouldn’t be so surprised.

After all, their shared occupation was the very thing that had kept them apart so long. While Rowan very well understood the necessity of sending hunters where they were needed at a moments notice, it was often hard to ignore the sense of isolation that such a lifestyle could result in. Being the perpetual outsider, trying to find your place in groups that had known each other for years, or trying to build relationships when you knew it could all be ripped away at the arrival of a letter, over and over again, was hard. She had seen hunters retreat into themselves, shutter their eyes to protect themselves. Turn cold and dark inside as the things they killed. Fighting darkness with darkness rarely brought light.

Rowan turned another corner in the lamplight and nearly ran into someone headed hastily away from the headquarters. She managed to narrowly avoid losing her balance by catching herself on the staff, but the stranger stumbled back a few steps on long legs before looking up at her ready to snarl something. Instead their expression turned to one of confusion, elegant brows pulled together.

“My apologies” she said, and taking in their purple sash and flickering electric aura, “Enforcer.”

They were dressed in fine, flowing materials all in shades of blue and silver. Long, silky hair a deep near-black purple at the roots, washing out like ink to a silvering heather at the tips, draped over their shoulder in a ponytail, with shorter strands curling about their face. They had striking features with high cheekbones under the piercing, pale blue eyes that flicked over her.

“I don’t recognize you hunter, identify yourself.” they commanded in a cultured, pleasantly rich voice.

She instinctively straightened at the order, matching their intense gaze. “Hunter General Rowan Velle.” and to explain her presence in their town “On temporary leave due to injury.”

A flash of disquiet broke their steely gaze “Maro’s sister then.”

They sighed, suddenly seeming very weary, and in a slightly gentler voice said “I am Lieutenant General Willenheim, did you receive the letter I sent?”

Rowan’s stomach dropped like a sack of bricks, and her expression, she was sure, with it. She knew from Maro’s letters that Willenheim was their enforcer, and there were only so many reasons a hunter’s enforcer might send a letter to their next of kin, none were good.

“No.” she managed to grate out “I did not. Are they…. Is Maro...”

It shouldn’t have been so hard to say, to imagine, they were hunters after all, and death dogged their steps like the tamed wolves so many were fond of keeping.

Willenheim frowned “No, they are..” they paused “They are alive.”

“Turned then.” Rowan took the next logical step in assuming.

“It is somewhat more complicated than that.” they said carefully, glancing around “But this is not a conversation to be had in the street.”

What trouble had Maro gotten themself into? Hells. Their last letter had seemed so... hopeful. She tried to ignore the lump in her throat.

“You said you are injured?” they asked “Does that need to be addressed first? I could show you to our healer and we’d be able to continue this in the morning.”

“It’s been three weeks since my injury, Enforcer, I’ll be fine until morning. I’d rather not wait to hear what’s happened.”

They leaned back on their heels, and gave her an assessing look.

“Fine.” they said, resigned, and apparently satisfied that she at least did not appear to be bleeding out.

They pursed their lips and glanced back towards the headquarters, then seemed to make a decision, and set off in the direction they had originally been walking.

“This way then.” they said over their shoulder.

Rowan followed, feeling ill.

They led her to what she could only assume was their home, a little ways down the street, and unlocked the door, gesturing for her to enter.

The acclaimed General Augustus Willenheim, now Lieutenant General. That must have been a recent appointment, Rowan thought, if word of a change in command had not yet reached her own headquarters by the time she’d left. Maro had called them August in their more recent letters, had spoken warmly and highly of them.

Rowan hoped their opinion of the witch was deserved, as it appeared they were now head of the order she had devoted her life to.

“Please” they said “sit.”

She lowered herself onto a plush couch opposite Willenheim. Their home was certainly lovely. Sparse and elegant, shades of blue, with silver and marble accents. Every item and bit of decor seemed to have been carefully chosen to suit the room. The overall effect might have seemed cold or austere, instead it struck her as a place meant to be a sanctuary, the eye of a storm.

There was a serious and grim look on its occupants' lovely face.

“Firstly, if you did not receive my letter, why are you in Lunaris?” they questioned.

“I’ve been stationed out in Enk, and three weeks ago was stung by a manticore on a hunt.” Their eyebrows scrunch up again at that, but they let her continue. “Enk’s rather a remote little dot on the map, and our only witch is better at combat than healing. Maro had written to me that one of their partners here is a talented healer, and as I’m on leave until healed anyway” She shrugs “I’d hoped I might kill two birds with one stone and surprise my sibling with a visit.”

Willenheim once again subjected her to an assessing gaze, “Manticore venom is not something to play about with, whatever else we discuss, you will have that seen to first thing tomorrow. Understood, General?” their tone brooked no argument.

“Of course, Lieutenant General.” she allowed.

“Good, I will give you directions to Ezra’s before you leave tonight.” They paused, looking distracted, perhaps trying to decide how best to give her whatever bad news about Maro that was so serious as to require a personal conversation with the Lieutenant General Enforcer of Eskria in their home at nearly one in the morning.

She waited. Feeling a bit numb.

Finally, they spoke, “One week ago, Maro resigned their post as a hunter. Five weeks before that they chose to consume an… experimental potion, intended to transform and ultimately strengthen a hunter. They knew at that point, that this had already directly and indirectly resulted in the deaths of several hunters. Maro was urged and advised not to do so by everyone in this town who had come to care about them, and they did so anyway.”

Willenheim took a deep breath.

Rowan opened her mouth, to voice one of the many questions she now had, but they continued before she could.

“Much, in fact most, of what I have just told you, and what I am about to tell you is confidential. But, I believe you deserve the truth about what has happened,” they paused “is happening, to your sibling. Especially if you decide to seek them out, which, I would urge you not to do at this point. Though if you are anything like them, I expect you will ignore my advice on that front.”

Rowan suspected that was so. Whatever Maro had done, they were after all, her sibling, her dearest and oldest friend, and the only person left whom she considered family. She wasn’t going to write them off without a fight.

They told her the rest of the story, starting just before Maro had arrived in Lunaris in the wake of Hunter Lane’s death. And fleshed out the hopeful skeleton tale Maro’s letters had allowed her. A darker mystery than they had implied, with implications both farther reaching and closer to home than she might have imagined.

Maro had indeed finally built themself a home, surrounded themself with people who cared about them, even fallen in love. And Rowan could see, with a sort of horror, as the story unfolded, where exactly it would fall apart for them. What exactly, about the situation the witch described, would have snagged on the well hidden defense mechanisms of their past, and led them to make such a disastrous decision.

“Fucks sake Maro” Rowan groaned, head in her hands when they were done.

She looked up at the enforcer. “I’m going to talk to them.”

It’s was their turn to massage their temples, “For what-”

They huffed out a bitter laugh “You aren’t going to be able to talk them out of an action they’ve already taken.” their tone took on a vehemence that surprised Rowan “They chose this! They decided to side with the man who betrayed us, over people who loved them! They decided that a bit of extra power was worth permanently harming themself!”

“Then why have they resigned?” Rowan wondered. “If they did this for power?”

Willenheim’s eyes narrowed “I would assume they misjudged how quickly the process would affect them.”

Rowan was unsure of what to assume, nothing was safe at this point, she supposed. Her head was still swimming with the revelation of the truth behind the initiation rites, but no time for that now. She needed to focus on Maro.

“I’m going to talk to them.” She repeated.

“I can’t stop you.” Their expression was displeased. “And I expect you will need to see them for yourself to fully accept the truth.”

“Thank you for sharing all this with me, especially at such an hour.” she said. The night was nearly over, and she could see the skin beneath their sharp blue eyes was bruised from what must have been more than one missed night of sleep.

“You are quite welcome. It’s not as though you are responsible for your sibling’s actions. Now, go and get some sleep.”

She stood, leaning heavily on her staff, got directions to Ezra’s shop for the morning, and thanked them, before leaving them to whatever rest they could wring from the remaining night.

By the time she was curled under scratchy sheets in the White Wolf Inn, the sun was already threatening to rise. For once she let sleep take her anyway.

OOO

Ezra woke as the sun rose, none of its light slipping through his boarded windows or spilling over his pillows. But he found its absence a price well worth waking in Finn’s arms.

He was spooned against the vampire’s hairy chest, legs tangled, Finn’s nose in his hair, and arm tucked against his bare chest. He hadn’t opened his eyes yet, trying to delay shaking off the warm muzziness of sleep a bit longer.

“Good morning, angel.” Finn murmured in his ear.

“S’not morning yet.” Ezra stubbornly kept his eyes shut through a yawn and flipped over, flinging an arm over Finn and pulling them snugly chest to chest, re-tangling their legs.

For a moment, he expected Maro to adjust to the movement by curling closer against his back. Then quickly realized they weren’t there, and remembered why not. Despite the short time the three of them had spent together, now they were gone, he kept expecting them to be there. Every time it was like taking a step when you expect an extra stair, a brief moment of unmoored panic. He clung all the tighter to Finnegan for it.

Finn wedged an arm between them to gently tip his chin up, bringing them nose to nose, so he could look into Ezra’s now (unfortunately) open eyes.

“I miss them as well.”

Ezra knew he did. The vampire turned idle and melancholy the moment he thought he wasn't being watched. Raven reported he spent most days in his room. The rest of the time he spent fussing over Ezra.

Ezra tilted his head a fraction and pressed the extra inch forward to kiss him. Finn responded with a gentle ferocity, sliding his hand up from Ezra’s chin to cup his jaw, thumb on his cheek, wiping away a stray tear.

After a few moments he deepened the kiss, cool tongue pressing between Ezra’s lips. He opened for him, pressing back with his own tongue and losing himself in the sensation for a while, letting his free hand roam between Finn’s shoulder blades.

Eventually, Ezra pulled back and re-opened his eyes. Neither were wearing any more than boxers under the covers, and he could feel Finn already hard against his thigh, as he was sure Finn could feel him.

“Finn…”

The vampire turned onto his back to kick the covers off, and canted his hips up to shimmy out of the soft black fabric. Ezra wiggled out of his own before they could be ripped off, he was going to run out soon, again.

He let a mischievous impulse take him, and leaned over to place his index finger on Finn’s already slick lips.

Finn took the bait and sucked the finger in, drawing a small gasp out of Ezra. He curled the finger around one of his fangs, and used it as leverage to pull Finn up.

Finn let out something between a growl and a laugh that somehow managed to convey both amusement and arousal. But he went willingly enough, eyebrow raised. Ezra guided Finn by the wickedly sharp canine, letting a grin take over his face, until he had him where he wanted him, sitting against the headboard, mouth open around his finger. He slid the digit out along the tip of Finn’s fang, with just enough pressure to draw blood.

Finn growled again, chasing the finger to pull back into his mouth. Then pulled Ezra, laughing, into his lap. The feel Finn’s firm abdomen against his cock, and Finn’s own erection between his legs, cut the sound into a gasp.

Ezra’s face fell into Finn’s neck and he let out a helpless little sound. Finn pressed a kiss to his neck and nibbled his way towards his jaw. He slid a big hand around the back of Ezra’s head and tangled his fingers in the sleep mussed curls. Then pulled his head back to ravage his neck in earnest.

Ezra was taut as a bowstring as Finn slipped his other hand, the one he’d lovingly crafted for the vampire, around both of their cocks.

Finn found a steady, twisting, rhythm, up and down, little movements of his hips pressing his tip up against Ezra’s crown as they were pressed together.

He began kissing his way down Ezra’s neck, licking the dip of his clavicle, sucking a bruise into the soft skin just below his collarbone.

Ezra groaned, breathing ragged as Finn continued the stroke of his hand and wandering of his mouth.

“Finn… Please… I need…” Finn had already released his hair and was reaching for the little jar of slick in the bedside table.

He gasped into a pointed ear as a cool finger circled his rim with tauntingly light pressure. Payback for the earlier teasing Ezra supposed, he ought to do that more often.

They kissed fully as Finn pressed the digit in, immediately finding that spot that sent a current of pleasure through him like a lightning strike.

It didn’t take long before Ezra was a shuddering mess. Moaning into Finn’s mouth, begging for more.

Eventually, Finn slipped his finger out and released their cocks with a final upward slide. He readjusted his position and maneuvered Ezra into place with hands cupping either side of his ass.

Ezra steadied himself on Finn’s shoulders and gazed into gold gone soft with a look of adoration that would have taken his breath away were he not already breathless. Finn held him in place and arced up off the bed to leisurely press up into him.

Feeling Finn move in him was always beyond satisfying, visceral and intimate. Ezra leaned back to admire the roll of muscle as Finn established a snapping upwards rhythm, knocking the breath out of him with every thrust.

“Touch yourself angel.” Finn groaned up at him.

Ezra happily obliged, timing the pull of his hand to match the rock of Finn’s hips.

Their movements quickly became desperate and stuttering, until Finn came below him with a deep groan, pressing up in a final, deep thrust. Ezra followed, spending onto Finn’s chest and abdomen.

He dismounted and curled into Finn’s side, letting his skin cool him as his breathing slowly steadied.

The world was quiet again for a moment, and Ezra kept his eyes closed, did not look to see Finn’s other arm resting on his own still chest, rather than around familiar shoulders. He did not think about the empty space.

There was a long, pitiful meow muffled by the door. Ezra flung an arm over his eyes.

“Is it morning yet then?” He could hear Finn’s smirk.

Coco meowed again.

Ezra needed a shower.

OOO

It turned into a sleepy sort of morning in the shop, and Ezra found his attention turning to the little collection of plants in the window. A coleus with vibrant pink and green patterning. An overgrown spider plant hanging from the ceiling. A few rarer herbs that did well indoors. And a little pot of succulents, spilling over the patterned sides, they needed repotting.

It was delicate work. Roots grown together needed to be gently separated. Even when great care was taken there was often damage, torn roots, a broken leaf. But plants could be hardy things, and with the extra space of a new pot (and again, with care) usually ended up better off than before.

Ezra thought about moving.

His thoughts were eventually interrupted by the tinkle of the bell above the door. Alkar practically flew up to the counter, wolf ears pinned, tail bristling. He was looking Ezra over like he was concerned something might have happened to him. Omen slipped in behind him and settled onto a stool, seeming less perturbed.

“What’s going on?” Ezra hurried to lock the door, before turning back to the pair.

“We saw Piper in the market this morning-” Omen started.

“Maro’s sister is here!” Alkar blurted.

Oh, Ezra had almost forgotten they had a sister. Maro had mentioned her once, when Finn had asked about the neat pile of letters on their cramped little desk. Her name was Rowan. She was older than them by a few years, a hunter as well. It had sounded like they missed her.

Should he have written her? He supposed Gus must have.

Ezra frowned “Has someone talked to her yet? Is she alright?”

“Ughhh.” Alkar deflated with a pout and sank to the floor.

Omen leaned over to pat him on the head. “Piper said August spoke to her last night. She’s injured? So they told her to come here today.”

Ezra spared Alkar a concerned look before addressing Omen. “She hasn’t made it in yet. Do you know how injured she is? Has anyone checked on her?”

“It sounded like she might have arrived quite late, perhaps-”

“We should be more worried about whether she’s going to follow in Maro’s footsteps!” the lycan cut in again, scowling.

“Is that why you’re so puffed up about it then?” Ezra wondered.

Omen nodded and Alkar somehow managed to deepen his scowl.

“I’m not puffed up... But yes it fucking is. You haven’t even met her yet and you’re already worrying over her. What if-”

Ezra cut him off. “She’s injured and just received bad news about a family member. She’s not responsible for what Maro’s done, and we don’t judge people by their families’ actions, yes?”

Which received an affirming nod from Omen and after a few moments of begrudging consideration, a huff from Alkar as he flopped the rest of the way to the floor.

“Sometimes I hate when you’re right.”

He was startled back up onto his elbow by a knock at the door.

Ezra looked at the clock, “That’ll be Mrs. Ellison here to pick up her sleeping draught.”

He started towards the door to let her in.

“Hey, do you want us to hang around today?” Alkar offered from the floor.

While it would be nice to have company, Ezra knew keeping track of this particular duo while also trying to run a shop was a task that required more eyes than he possessed. As though he needed any additional proof, while Omen had been innocently nodding along with Ezra through Alkar’s fit of surliness, the demon’s tail had been flirting closer and closer to the candy drawer. And as Ezra turned back to answer, it was curled into the handle.

“I appreciate the offer, but I’ll be fine. Would you two mind popping down to let Finn know what’s going on though?”

“We can do that!” Omen hopped up and towards the back curtain, tail chased from the drawer by a stern look from Ezra. Alkar trailed up after him and they disappeared with sounds of playful bickering cut off by the fall of the trapdoor.

Ezra let Mrs. Ellison in and continued his morning.

He was finding it hard to focus. Preparing ingredients for potions, what sort of injury did she have? Would he have what he needed to help her? Small talk with Mr. Barlow from down the street, would it be painful, or a comfort to meet Maro’s family? Was she very like them? Or nothing at all? Which would be worse?

By early afternoon the shop felt dense with anticipation. He decided to take his lunch out onto the front step to get a bit of air. It was a rare sunny day in Lunaris, and the warmth of the sun on his hair was a welcome change.

Ezra was taking the last sips of his tea when he spotted Coco down the street, primly hopping from a porch railing and trotting towards a crouched figure beckoning her over. A long black coat pooled around them, and they leaned heavily on a thin staff. Coco stopped in front of them for a moment, considering, before flopping over, paws tucked up, big eyes wide, no mercy. The stranger was clever enough to ignore the soft belly fur on display and obligingly give her a (much safer) scritch around the cheeks and chin.

Ezra smiled, setting his teacup on the step to stand and walk over. As he approached he heard them talking to Coco in a playful tone “You know some of your cousins are far less sweet little friend?” Their pets were rewarded with a purr, before Coco hopped back up to rub along Ezra’s leg before loping off in the direction of the shop.

The stranger turned at his approach and tucked a fallen brown curl of their curly, chin length mop behind an ear. As they stood, using the staff to take much of their weight, Ezra immediately realized that this was Maro’s sister.

There was something familiar to her. Her face wasn’t as soft as Maro’s, a curious, friendly smile framed by a narrower, sharper jaw and more prominent nose, eyes less wide, but a familiar misty grey. She was tall and willowy, taller than Maro, perhaps even a tad taller than Ezra. Under her long coat she wore a cream, collared shirt buttoned to her neck, tucked loosely into dark, high waisted trousers with a patterned purple sash spilling from one pocket. A silver axe with intricately forged designs hung at her waist.

“Is she yours?” She asked, smiling and nodding in the direction Coco had gone.

“Yeah, that’s Coco.” He offered a smile back “ Spoiled thing. Are you Rowan?”

Her eyes widened minutely, “Yes,” she paused a moment, considering him “You must be Ezra. Maro’s written lovely things about you and that vampire.”

“I am.” Ezra replied, trying very hard not to imagine Maro scratching out sweet things about them in that messy scrawl. “I was told you might need some help with an injury? My shop is just over there if you’d like to come in?”

She sighed, "I'm glad to meet you then, and yes, thank you, I suppose that needs to be dealt with first."

He led her back to his home, and even limping, she walked with the same strange grace and strength that seemed innate in most Hunters. He supposed he now knew the reason for that. She entered ahead of him and as she disappeared into the dimmer light, he was not at all surprised to feel a sense of deja vu.

[thedreaminus]

Exchanged Roles

ff.net | A03

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

As predicted by Raizel, M-21 slept peacefully in his tank. Sometimes, when M-24 spoke to him, he started to smile. Anyway, M-24 felt that way. Everyone else described it as more of a smirk. So M-24 got used to talking to his old comrade. According to Raizel, M-21 heard his voice and it reassured him, though he could not understand words.

Oddly enough, Tao picked up his habit and it was not long before M-24 caught him sitting in his camping chair next to M-21's tank, chatting cheerfully about an application-independent Card Terminal Application Programming Interface for smart card applications. The name alone was enough to cause headaches in M-24. Technical innovations were practical, but there were limits to his personal interests.

M-24 wanted to pull Tao away from the tank at first, but then changed his mind. M-21 was sleeping and would not understand Tao's words anyway. He concluded that Tao's verbiage has not resulted in any unbearable headache. But M-21 would hear his voice. Perhaps it would be something like a first step that would help M-21 get used to the people he would live with under one roof from now on.

Since M-21 - according Frankenstein - was making good progress and yet he would be sleeping in the tank for a few weeks, M-24 was much occupied. As previously mentioned, they had given up their original plan to train on an island because M-21's condition required constant monitoring. Now instead of being hounded on bare earth by Frankenstein, they were being hounded within four walls. This increased the panic factor even more.

-.-.-.-

Frankenstein leafed through M-21 test results. Judging by his expression, the man was pleased with what he saw. He muttered to himself and nodded here and there once. Then he suddenly turned around and caught sight of Regis.

The young Nobles could not prevent his flinch. Frankenstein wore the grin on his face. The grin that tells every enemy with a touch of intelligence and the will to survive that he only had a few seconds left to breathe.

"Regis, I have to talk to Gajutel."

Regis initial, ill-concealed fear shifted to the unexplained confusion that everyone felt at these words. Everyone except Raizel. The Noblesse exchanged a long look with his Bonded and then nodded venerably.

-.-.-.-

Calling a clan leader turned out to be a stroke of luck in retrospect. They were attacked, at two points at the same time. The Union came to the KSK with a plan and set about destroying their environment piece by piece. With that, they probably intended to elicit the rebels of their last problems. They succeeded very well, but the Union had probably expected less with Raizel, Frankenstein and three clan leaders.

At the same time, Crombel took advantage of the distraction, sending his lackeys around the school to take the children as hostage. M-24 and his comrades went to the school and none of them were there to protect the house. Despite all her security precautions, Crombel had managed to track them down to M-21.

When Yuri mocked them, they all got ice cold. The enemy in their home? The place that was so important, to not only Raizel but also Tao, Takeo and M-24 . A sanctuary that gave them the security they needed so much.

Yuri enjoyed the obvious horror, because it spurred him on to another sentence that particularly hit M-24 hard: "Crombel just wants what belongs to him." the greasy man bowed awkwardly to M-24, "I hope that your partner has recovered well? He will need it." The sentence made Yuri laugh until the moment Rael appeared. M-24 left the young Noble the responsibility and took the moment to rush home.

-.-.-.-

Rael had helped them to take the children to the lab, but something seemed to have gone wrong at home. M-24 had intercepted and sent them to the replacement lab, one floor down. But now the children were supplied. Raizel, Boss and the other Nobles had returned. Now it was time to see after M-24 and of course, after M-21.

"M-24?!" Tao slipped around the corner. He had only a short time to catch a glimpse of the blood on the ground and M-24 who stood in front of M-21, before Frankenstein had gotten to them and pulled Tao behind him. There was an eerie silence in the room. Scary enough that Tao shut up and voluntarily backed away to the wall.

The laboratory was partially destroyed. The tank was shattered and its contents leaked to the ground. Not far away from the tank, a motionless body laid stained with blood. Most of all, however, M-21 mesmerized him. The man stood diagonally to them. His body also showed traces of blood. However, Tao could not detect any injuries from his current position.

Opposite him, M-24 was standing and speaking reassuringly to his old partner but there was no indication that he heard him. M-21 just stood there, letting his arms hang down his head. The now really long gray hair covered his whole face. A hose was still hanging from his arm.

"Tao, leave."

The Boss's voice sounded strangely loud even though he had spoken very quietly. Tao blinked and was about to retreat discreetly when M-21 turned his head and looked at him. In his eyes, a white-blue fire seemed to glow, strange stripes ran across his cheeks, and as M-21 raised his lip a little, one could clearly see the impressive fangs.

"I'm already gone." squeaked Tao.

-.-.-.-

M-21 was sleeping again. M-24 had come to the lab with him in his arms, and laid him on one of the free couches. It turned out he had been injured, but his wounds were already healed. The body in the lab was one of Crombel's henchmen. He had tried to steal Frankenstein's data, which had turned up after a brief search in the clothes.

From what they suspected, the agent had broken into the lab and ravaged it trying to steal the data. Then he had tried to take M-21 and died. Pretty fast. M-21 had ripped his throat out.

"Frankenstein," noticed Gejutel after he had patterned the sleeping M-21 in detail and listened to what Tao had told his comrades about his strange behavior, "Now every race is represented."

Frankenstein sighed. The older Nobles raised an eyebrow. "Are you not pleased with this? This must spur your curiosity "

"Shut up Gejutel"

-.-.-.-

M-24 tried to focus on his reading. The mood in the house was generally depressed. The incident between Rai and the Union-Elder, the abduction and poisoning of the children, the damaged school and last but not the least, Crombel's attempt to kidnap M-21 again. The big man gave a long stretched sigh. Since he had started to get stronger, he had become more and more emphatic. That's why he knew exactly when Rai, Frankenstein or someone else was not feeling well.

It was hard to shake off so many negative emotions and focus on the positive aspects of their lives.

A movement at his side tore him out of his thoughts.

M-21 had turned around. M-24 could now see his face and immediately reached out his hand to pacify him, patting his head as he had always done before.

M-21 was now stable enough to rest outside the tank. Nevertheless, M-24 could not lose the feeling that Frankenstein didn't want to risk losing another tank to M-21. To be fair, the last one was probably more on Crombel's agent.

M-21 growled softly like a furious dog. A very small, angry dog. His energy wavered and trembled before it slowly withdrew. M-24 precautionarily left his hand where it was and spoke in a low voice to his comrades until he was sleeping calmly again.

This energy, it was completely unknown to him. Why? By now he had experienced a broad segment of auras and energy from Nobles, humans, and modified humans for comparison. Why did M-21 not fit into any of these patterns? And why was it impossible for him to read his mood?

To face his old comrade, while he was completely out of his mind without even knowing what was going on with him, is not a pleasant experience. Raizel had calmed him down and Frankenstein later praised his gentle attending to M-21, trying to reassure him. According to the two, M-21 had been able to hear him and recognize him.  That is why he had not attacked Tao or rest of the household.

He should be able to be satisfied with that. Although he would have preferred to contact M-21 on an emotional level. M-21's inexplicable behavior had made M-24 restless. It was like seeing M-21 through a thick wall of ice. Just a schematic of a living being, of the person who was like a little brother. Was it because of what Crombel had done? Had he lost that soulful connection with his comrade now?

M-24 prayed that M-21 would be normal when he awakes.

-.-.-.-

As if he reappeared from deep waters. Almost reluctantly. His mind was drowsy and he would love to cuddle up in the pleasant warmth and continue his sleep. M-21 moaned softly. Not out of pain, but more in protest. He hid his face again in the strange, soft thing that smelled so pleasant to protect his eyes from the annoying brightness.

Next to him, someone chuckled, amused. As M-21 made preparations to pull the fabric over his head, which was probably his blanket, the chuckle turned into soft laughter. It was annoying and he immediately knew what would follow. As if to confirm, someone knocked him gently on the head. When it did not work, he nudged his forehead and then tugged at his ear.

"Stop ..." M-21 muttered, half-heartedly waving his hand in the direction of where the hand came from.

"Realy, I am glad that you feel better."

"M-24 ..." he opened his eyes. No cheap hotel or any abandoned building where they sought shelter. Instead, a clean little room with large windows, from which light fell directly onto the bed. Directly above his head, on the wall, hung a calendar with a giant puppy image. Puppies ...

He blinked hard.

His comrade leaned over him, blocking his view of the puppy calendar.

"M-21? Something wrong?"

"Puppies ... there were dogs."

"Yes, I got the calendar from Sui."

From whom? M-21's thoughts started to work. He turned on his back and looked up at the ceiling. "We ... we are not in the Union anymore, are we?"

"No," M-24 shook his head, "It's been several weeks since we freed you from Crombel."

M-21 shuddered and tensed involuntarily. Now that it was mentioned, he remembered what had happened. What Crombel had done to him. The man had been so fascinated by his claws. After he was finished with him, they only vaguely resembled his initially transformed nails. He had developed into something monstrous under Crombel's hands. So many experiments, operations and concoctions until he was unable to remember. The pain and the feeling of being completely leached were all that was left behind.

He had turned into a beast at the push of a button, with no control and no way to defend himself or even remember. The collar ... his voice. M-21 reached for his neck, wincing in surprise as his fingers touched smooth, warm skin.

It was gone. The damned thing was gone.

M-21 knew that the experience should really affect him a lot more. He should not just lie here in a strange bed and feel so safe.

A touch on his shoulder startled him out of his thoughts. M-24 frowned and squeezed carefully, as if to confirm that he was there. They stayed like this for some time. Until the moment M-24 began to recite what had happened to him after M-21 went to get his medication, but did not return. And M-21 just listened to him.

-.-.-.-

At the same time, the rest of the household was sitting in the living room, drinking tea and busying themselves with the little things that needed to be done. For example thinking about repairing the school as soon as possible. To their credit, the modified people tried not to break out into sweat that often when the Nobles had a strange conversation among themselves or when Frankenstein decided to revive his old friendship with Regis's grandfather.

At some point during this evening, Tao stopped in the middle of his mind braining for the school and looked over at Takeo. The sniper seemed to be lost in thought and Tao had to wave his hand in front of his face to grab his attention.

"It's too easy," said Takeo, readily and unsolicited. His eyes flicked over to Tao.

"You mean M-21?"

"All the trouble, traps and manipulation by Crombel. Now M-21 is here talking to M-24. Just like that…" Takeo struggled for words "I'm worried. What if M-21 is a bait? What if he was manipulated?"

They exchanged a look. This theory was not that unlikely. Crombel had been trying to fool M-24 in the past. The thought that he used M-21 to finally reach his goal was not at all outlandish. If that was the case, then M-21 was an enemy moving in their midst.

"Maybe we are judging too fast," Takeo ran his long hair and sighed. "After all, we do not know anything." It was obviously unpleasant for him to judge a person he seemed to know so well. Of course, they only knew M-24 stories and yet there was such a comradely feeling for M-21. Strong enough to make them talk to him even when he slept.

"I know someone who can tell us more ... Boss!" Tao turned to Frankenstein with a beaming smile. Like an entertainer greeting a new star guest on his show. Frankenstein smashed Tao's beaming smile with the more practiced ease of a man who was used to throwing people to the ground.

"M-21's condition is privy to only him and M-24."

Tao's grin faded and he shrank beneath Frankenstein's gaze. "But M-24 ..."

"We are worried," Takeo objected carefully. "What if M-21 was manipulated by Crombel?"

"He was."

“And that's why we need to know ... wait, he was?"

Frankenstein sighed and put his hands on each other. "Crombel's experiments have damaged M-21's memory: short-term memory, and more. He drove his body to autonomously erase neuronal connections in the brain to make it easier to manipulate him."

They sat there petrified. No memories, or even more dangerous: memories that were scattered. This meant no security and therefore no trust.

Tao knew about the Union, and partly through M-24's statements he had understood  that it was common practice in the Union to erase the memories of lower level test subjects. Not only to make them docile, but to avoid any permanent mental damage in promising experiments that may arise due their harrowing experiences. Even modified humans had limits as far as pain tolerance and permanent burden on the psyche went.

Now the autonomous capping of neuronal connections ultimately may only mean that M-21 unconsciously repressed probably a good part of his memories to protect himself. Sure, Takeo and he did the same. The only question was to what extent M-21 did and how much Crombel had his game with him.

Frankenstein looked at them thoughtfully. "Well, that's probably the most serious question. Even if we suspect that it only concerns the events of recent months."

"Then ... then why? If M-21 remembers M-24 and trusts him, what did Crombel want to use it for?"

"Oh, I am sure that this man actually have something else in mind," strangely, Frankenstein smirked. "He is a bungler. At first he tried to make M-21 stronger, where he suceeded only  halfway. However, in an unfortunate way and very crudely." Raizel sighed loudly at this sentence and the ensuing mockery in his voice, but somehow did not feel compelled to intervene. The remaining Nobles successfully gave the impression of sheer dislike.

Frankenstein continued, "Then he tried to wipe out his memories to make him docile. Here comes the point where the order is wrong. M-21 has changed too much for Crombel's understanding. His brain, its nerve cells, bones, almost everything has become flexible. In every attempt to manipulate his memory, the brain formed new neuronal connections."

"Uh ..." Tao snapped his fingers. "As an algorithm? Is there something like that?"

"It's a little more complicated than that." Frankenstein picked up his cup and looked thoughtfully into it. "Crombel could not control M-21's memories, but his experiments triggered a nasty effect, which he then used along with this ... collar for his purposes."

"The band is destroyed." Takeo had seen Boss melt it down. With too much sadistic joy on his face.

"It was primarily used to administer M-21 drugs that drove him down." Frankenstein cleared his throat. "You saw what happens when he's upset?"

"You mean the matter with Crombel's agent in the lab?" M-21 did not necessarily made a friendly impression back then. But nothing else happened ... or? He had not even touched his comrade. Frankenstein hovered between sincerity and curiosity as he waved the contents of his cup.

"I'm curious about how he'll develop."

"Frankenstein."

"Excuse me Master, I should not be so concerned about a patient."

Well, that was less insightful than they had hoped. While they watched Frankenstein anxiously - with a lot of gaping, because he giggled too strangely - the RK team silently wondered if they should be worried about M-24 and M-21 or not.

Note: If you are reading this I am on vacation! *eat some exotic fruit* Well, we are slowly getting closer to the end of this AU *ahhh* I am happy about that too. There are four different versions of the third chapter. I was really scared to never get it ready ^^

[seven-oomen]

Oh, I have many feelings, of many varieties, about Infinity War/Endgame.  And for added fun, I saw both films with a group that included a hardcore Steggy shipper who kept going on and on and on about how angry she would be if all the little hints they’d been dropping about them seeing each other again and/or getting to be together again led to nothing, particularly with time travel on the table, and how dare Marvel do that if they didn’t plan to follow through.  And I just kept thinking “the sheer audacity…  you’ve had multiple openly romantic moments including a kiss, and something approaching closure already.  do you know how happy I am when some of my rarer ships just get to be in the same scene together at all?  not even interacting, just in the same scene?  and don’t even talk to me about ship-baiting, you haven’t even the faintest idea"  There was a lot of tongue biting not to be THAT BITCH about it that happened, especially after what Endgame did.

Also, all I’ve really gotten from that whole wolf discourse thing is a reminder how sad I am that no one has brought a Tibetan Mastiff into our store.  (Isn’t there some kind of Russian Bear Dog that’s also supposed to be freaking ginormous?)  The two biggest I can think of that I’ve seen at work are that Akita who’s around 180-190lbs, and probably around 70-75cm at the shoulder (based off about where I remember him hitting along my leg the time his owner asked me to hold his lead while he ran back to his car for something.  I was very glad he’s probably also the most chill dog I’ve ever met), and this Great Dane I haven’t seen come in in a while the top of whose head probably cleared 5ft when he was standing on all fours.  Tbf, he was a Harlequin Dane, and I think they tend to be the biggest (I think his owner had like, 3 of them, too.)  It does make it funny when people will see someone’s 70lb Lab and be like "wow that dog is huge”, and in my head I’m just like “oh you have no idea…"  We did once have both a Leonberger puppy and a French Mastiff puppy come in, both of them at least 40lb and both only about 4 months old, but they never did come back by, so I don’t know how big they finally got.  I do remember that the French Mastiff was getting carried around like a baby.  Like paws over the shoulders, cradled in their arms, head resting against the side of theirs carried.  It was made you both want to coo at the adorableness while also warning the person "oh, you’re gonna regret that in a few months…”

And yeah, one of the things I loved best about some of Stiles and Jackson’s scenes were when Stiles would put up with exactly zero of Jax’s bullshit.  Because he sometimes needs reminding that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance.  (Sometimes he’d remind me a little too much of a bully I had to deal with in elementary school, it was cathartic.  It was kinda “I like you, but you’re workin’ my last good nerve.”)  Although I feel like in this version Malia or Allison would actually be much better at it, because he wouldn’t expect it from either of them (though frankly he grew up with Allie and should really know better.)  I feel like eventually he and Stiles will develop that whole “only I’m allowed to give him shit, if you try it I’ll fuck you up” thing, but it’ll take a while.  And I’m happy with whatever questions you decide fit with the flow of the story.  If most have to wait, or even not ever get totally answered, that’s more than okay.

Well, I’m glad I didn’t interfere with your productivity this time. XD  I’d actually occasionally had the thought, but then just decide that there was no way I was gonna actually go there.  Then I had to listen to 20 minutes of her telling me about how she’d tried to pack things as discreetly as possible and now couldn’t figure out which box it was and how she hoped it wasn’t one that one of her kids would end up opening at some point, and I was just like, “oh why the hell not, I’m thinking about it again now, anyway."  Speaking of such things, can you imagine if any of the current twins made that unfortunate discovery at any point?  Like, which ones would it be?  Would they tell/show their sibling?  Would their respective dads know they did, or would they manage to keep it a secret?  Also, ngl, when you mentioned magic wand massagers my brain immediately dove back to Harry Potter for a minute and I laughed so hard I almost cried.  Ha, there’s an idea: magically enhanced sex toys.  (Noah hasn’t let Stiles see that particular spellbook yet.)   And I can’t remember the exact wording but there’s a polyship post I see pop up on tumblr occasionally and one of the last things is something like "Person A and B are home alone and just start casually making out, then things get a bit more hot and heavy, but they know Person C will be home from work soon, so they try to hold out.  Person C finally gets home, sees the look on their faces and just sighs in (faux) disappointment and starts taking off their clothes”, and I really feel like that could not be more accurate to those three (any of whom could be A, B, or C at any given time).

In an attempt to salvage something more wholesome from my random musings, I’d like to introduce the idea of Christmas traditions and fluff.  (Yes, I know it’s June, but I’ve been hearing radio ads about some Christmas in July thing the Hallmark Channel’s doing next month for days, and have hit some of the Santa episodes in the Futurama rewatch I’ve been doing.  So.)  Just imagine.  Craft Dad Peter making ornaments with his kids.  Them pulling out the ones the older kids made in school to make new ones with their younger siblings.  Glitter-covered pine cones, construction paper picture frames, crudely painted faux stained glass shapes, popsicle stick snowflakes, craft foam and pom pom snowmen.  (They’re gonna end up needing multiple trees.)  Making strands of popcorn garland and yelling at Stiles and Jackson because they won’t stop eating the popcorn instead of threading it.  Fake mistletoe bunches suddenly festooning every doorway even though no one will admit to hanging it (it was totally Noah.)  All the dads breaking out their special seasonal cookie/cake/pie/etc recipes.  Chris coordinating with Malia to get all the pictures for their family Christmas card every year because he has the most flexible hours, and always getting an oversize print of the final version to put on the mantle for the season.  Allison (and eventually Lydia) transforming the inside of the house into an elegant, homey, wonderland (Ooh, maybe she/they find a box or two of decorations in the Hale vault and surprise Peter and Derek by adding them in one year.)   Everybody attempting to pitch in on decorating the outside of the house only for it to descend into a prolonged snowball fight (shhh, I know Cali probably doesn’t see that much snow, just go with it.)  Then when they all finally troop in, cold and soaking, Derek makes them the most frankly AMAZING hot chocolate using the recipe he learned from his dad.  MATCHING SWEATERS.  Ugly sweaters.  Matching ugly sweaters.  Sing-a-longs and caroling.  Trying to implement a Secret Santa system (because jeez that’s a lot of gifts to get), but failing at it every time because “I just couldn’t help myself, I kept finding things that were perfect."  Peter buying his husbands the fancy expensive shit they won’t normally let him get away with.  Him going way overboard with the kids’ gifts the first few years to make up for lost time.  And speaking of Peter pulling either or both Omegas into his lap, you know he can’t resist doing it just to make a "Have you been a good boy this year?/Why don’t you sit on my lap and tell me what you want?” joke at LEAST once a season.  At least.  Can they even fit everyone’s stockings on the mantle, or do they have to do some creative placement?  Do Stiles and Jackson ever stop getting each other little coal-themed gag gifts?  Do they get real trees from the Preserve or do they opt for fake trees because no one can remember to water them?  (Or would Chris volunteer to do it?)  Curling up on the couch under the assorted memory quilts and fluffy blankets to watch Christmas movies and holiday specials, or just watch the lights dancing on the tree (multi-colored on the one in the living room/den, because that’s more cozy, no I’m not taking arguments) and enjoy finally being able to be together (peacefully).  Just.  All the warm domestic holiday goodness.  Uh, presuming of course they celebrate Christmas.  If not, please adapt the above to the nearest appropriate, equivalent holiday.  I just happened to be feeling inspired, and went the “write what you know” route.

General mood when seeing one of these <3

[trexrambling]

Bite Me (The Epilogue)

Characters: DeanxReader, Sam

Warnings: slight angst, some fluff, some feels, and crying from the author because she can’t believe it’s really over

Overview: You were raised in the hunter life. You fell out of it. It wasn’t your choice to get pulled back in.

Word Count: 2,008

A/N: And here it is. The final part of my first ever fanfic series. To each and every one of you who have joined me on this adventure, thank you. Thank you for your likes, your comments, your reblogs, and your overall encouragement for this story. I have loved writing every word and feel blessed to be able to share it with you all. To Lee and Han, my sole sister and writing soulmate, I love you both dearly and am constantly blessed by your support and love. Thank you both for helping this series reach its fullest potential. These words, like everything else I write, are for me. Feel free to join me in the adventure.

Read (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17)

I watched as each breath I took created a small ghost that drifted in front of my face before disappearing. I shifted my feet in the snow, the movements accompanied by soft crunches as the icy state was padded down, and rested a hand on the squirming bundle of fur that was trying its best to sit still beside me.

“It’s ok, Zuri. We’re home now.”

The first place I had gone after I left the Winchesters was to my roots, my origins, the rebuilt frame of a house that I had once lived in and had been taken from. I had talked to Dean about my past, but I never went into the specifics. I knew it would be a place he couldn’t find me, and I also knew that the proper way to finish any story was to start at the beginning.  

I took up residency in a cheap motel and, for the next month, tried to piece together bits and pieces of a life I had never really lived. I visited my parent’s graves, their names foreign to me, yet familiar in an odd sense. I befriended a relative, my aunt, and though she never knew my true identity I was able to build a strong connection with her in my short stay. I shared parts of my life with her and received fragments of a still blurry picture from stories she shared with me. Besides my aunt, no other immediate relatives were still alive, and the distant members of my family lived hundreds of miles away. What I found about my past was small, but I gathered that I had been deeply loved by my parents, whom I now believed to be hunters that had accidentally brought a child into the life. I made peace with my hometown and moved on within the month.

The next stop was Uncle Jay’s cabin. It was exactly as it had been when Castiel had brought me there last, and I stayed in my old bedroom for almost two months, living off the surrounding land and working my way through the thousands of memories that I had collected in the twenty-four years I had lived there. Using the contacts in Uncle Jay’s old phone, I was able to track down a few of his ancient hunter friends that were by chance still alive. I managed to get the whole story from piecing together the answers to the questions I asked them, and as I looked at the completed puzzle my mind and heart became still in understanding. Uncle Jay had been friends with my parents and had lost them in a hunt gone wrong. He’d felt personally responsible for me, and as my aunt had only been fifteen at the time, he had taken me in.

As I’d sat on the floor one night, flipping through the rare photos I had managed to capture over the years of the two of us, I only felt gratefulness for this man, and I was thankful that he had claimed me as his. He would forever be my uncle, and I would always remain his Small Fry.

I knew that Dean and Sam would be keeping tabs on my old house, but I also knew that it was somewhere I needed to visit. Thankfully, it was a few hours away from the Bunker, so I knew that the chances of them stumbling across me were not nonexistent, but still very minute. I didn’t stay there long; my main purpose was to pick up a few supplies and visit Arlo’s grave. Dean had marked it with a rock he’d found in my garden, and as I sat, cross-legged in the un-mowed grass and rapidly spreading weeds, I thanked whoever was listening for the blessing of my best friend. Arlo had gotten me through dark moments in my life and created light within my soul more times than I could count. I had needed him far more than he had ever needed me, and it had been an honor to love him in the time that I had him. He had left a hole in my chest, and I knew that I couldn’t ever replace him, but I could try to fill in the gaps with something that could help me see beauty in the world again.

Just like with Arlo, I knew when I saw her that she was mine. She was one of five mixed mutt pups, her light gray fur overrun with white and black speckles. She’d charged the gate, growling low growls as her half floppy/half pointed ears twitched towards me. One eye was bright blue and the other was a deep brown that instantly drew me back to a moment of looking in Arlo’s eyes as we both laid lazily on the couch. She was hope for more, and I took her home from the pound that day with a heart full of undiscovered beauty.

We never settled in one place for more than a single night but instead drove across mountains, through small towns, and overall explored what the world had to offer us. With each passing day, I felt my heart begin to mend. I felt the darkness start to lift. I felt myself begin to forgive. And when I finally reached a point of just being me and being ok with all of the cracks I had filled in and the few that still remained, I turned my truck towards Kansas.

I scratched Zuri’s ears before snow-crunching my way to the large, rounded door set into the side of the hill. I raised a hand, almost afraid to knock, but the happy wag of the fluffy tail hitting my legs made me smile. “You’re going to love them, Zur. They’re the best men I’ve ever met.”

I took a deep breath.

I lightly tapped the steel with my knuckles.

Come on, Y/N. A butterfly crashing into the door would have been louder.

I rolled my eyes at myself and used my fist to give three solid bangs that I could hear resonating through the door.

Silence.

Breathe. You’ve got to breathe.

I sucked in a deep lungful of the frigid air and banged three more times.

Zuri’s ears perked up, and a few seconds later I heard muffled footsteps coming from inside.

Breathe. Breathe. Just breathe.

I stepped back, Zuri close at my side, and the sound of grating metal followed by a loud clunk filled the space.

The door swung open.

My brain first registered flannel, closely followed by the two guns that were trained on me. I heard the sharp intakes of breath next, and before I could open my mouth to say something I was enveloped in warm arms, and the scent of cinnamon and leather took over my senses. Then my back hit the railing of the stairwell behind me and my brain could only process Dean as his lips found mine in a hard kiss.

Which was quickly cut short by Zuri biting the hell out of Dean’s leg.

He jerked away from my mouth and cried out in pain, his hand going to his leg while my brain recovered enough to quickly calm my protective dog. I looked up at Dean sheepishly. “She thought you were attacking me.”

Dean’s eyes went from the dog back to me and stayed there. He slowly straightened up and reached out a hand to gently brush my left cheek with his fingers before his other hand firmly took my waist and pulled me to him again, clutching me tightly.

“I told you I would come back,” I whispered against his chest, “and I made sure to do it before December was over. I wanted to start the New Year here. I wanted to be home.”

Dean slowly released his hold on me, his hands sliding down my arms and stopping to hold my hands in his as he looked into my eyes. A small smile crept onto one edge of his mouth. “So…did you bring back the ingredients for pie?” 

God, I love this man.

I felt the grin take over my face as I nudged the bag beside me with my foot. “I’ve got apples, cinnamon, sugar, flour, all the works. And I definitely want to talk after you’re done overseeing my baking skills. I’ve got a lot of missed time to make up for.”

Dean leaned down and brought his forehead against mine, a deep sigh leaving his lungs. We stayed like that for a few seconds before he cleared his throat, and his voice was thick when he spoke. “Thank you for coming back.”

“Well, I promised.” And then I shifted my head so I could kiss him, slowly and gently and deeply before the cold had us both shivering and Zuri’s growls had me giggling into Dean’s mouth.

“I gave you guys your space, but I’d really like a hug now!” Sam called from inside the entryway of the bunker.

I pecked Dean’s cheek and darted inside, tackling Sam in a hug that knocked the breath from his lungs. And then we were all inside the warmth of our home, crammed onto one couch as we talked over each other with questions and answers and stories and laughter while Zuri slowly destroyed the legs of the coffee table with her teeth. At one point we all got up to bake the pie, somehow managing to cover Zuri completely in flour, and then someone grabbed the sprayer from the sink and a full out water war ensued. Afterwards we all found our way back to the couch, and it was well past midnight before our voices died out and we found ourselves just sitting in the comfort of each other’s company, each of us drunk from pure happiness.

“I’m glad you’re back, Y/N,” Sam said, giving my shoulders a tight squeeze with his arm. “I missed having you around. Dean’s terrible to research with, and you’re ten times smarter.”

I laughed and leaned into his side. “Well, I’m hoping there’s a case to test your theory.”

Sam straightened up a bit in excitement. “Yeah, there actually is. So get this –”

“Not now, Sam,” Dean interjected. “We’ll fill her in tomorrow.” He gave his brother a look of silent communication, and Sam’s eyes narrowed before widening in understanding.

“Oh, right. Of course, I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow, Y/N.” He removed his arm from around my shoulders and rose off the couch. “I’m going to call it a night.”

I grabbed his hand before he walked away and squeezed it. “I love you, Sam. Sleep well.”

He smiled widely at me and squeezed back. “Love you too, Y/N. See you in the morning.” He leaned down to ruffle Zuri’s ears before walking off towards his room, and in the silence of his wake I found myself settling further and further against Dean until my body was as physically close to his as it could be without me being on top of him.

“I missed you.”

He nudged my nose with his. “I missed you, too. You have no idea.” His brow furrowed for a quick moment. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

He held my gaze as he spoke, “Are you home for good this time?”

I felt his warmth soaking into my skin, heard Zuri’s puppy snores from under the table, smelled the pie that we had put into the oven earlier, and felt no echos in my soul as I looked into the green of Dean’s eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good,” Dean said, bringing his mouth close to mine so that our lips barely touched, “because I like you here a hell of a lot better.”

“I love you,” I whispered against his mouth.

I felt his lips curl into a smile. “I love you, too.”

And then he kissed me.

And for the first time in a long time, I felt completely whole.

And I never looked back.

My Forever Lovelies: @wheresthekillswitch @pinknerdpanda  @emilywritesaboutdean @ruprecht0420 @arryn-nyxx @jotink78 @hiimaprofessionalfangirl @super-not-naturall @aiaranradnay @percywinchester27 @hannahindie @rosie-winchester @nanie5 @feelmyroarrrr @mogaruke @escabell @mrswhozeewhatsis @katymacsupernatural @deanssweetheart23 @oneshoeshort  @claire-of-the-country @greeneyesinlaceandangelsgrace @keelzy2 @angelsandwinchesters @writingmisha @canadianjelly @findingfitnessforme @luulaachops @tas898 @221b-cfordwrites @bluecookiesandbooks @allonsy-yesiwlill @keepcalmandcarryondean @ravengirl94 @dancingring @hollygopossum @charliebradbury1104 @rda1989 @mrsbatesmotel53 @nikkilaf @hexparker @hennessy0274-blog @dixonpotato38 @mickey-m399 @autopistaaningunaparte @fandomismyspiritanimal @anticipate1003 @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @boxofpaperclips-blog

Bite Me tags: @sama1314 @mamabear82nd @docharleythegeekqueen @ilikaicalie @sveskee @celahcain  @impala-dreamer @daughterleftbehind @abbessolute @dreymin @li-ssu @jamrsgang @leezhaa @shhhs3cret @smalltowndivaj @thevioletthourr @blueskybirdy @fallen-castiel @messy-buns-and-shotguns @curlyblondexoxo @ellen-reincarnated1967 @missdestiel67 @jellersquad  @1311993lucy

[5hfanfiction]

Wicked Games (Chapter 9)

Trigger: brief involvement of drugs

I was lounging on the couch with my feet propped up on the coffee table, grazing through my neuroanatomy textbook. I was trying to study, but my eyes were becoming heavy, and I ended up rereading the same paragraph about six times before I finally gave up and slapped the book shut.

Normani was sitting to my right, working on some sort of economics assignment that I had zero understanding of.

“I think I’m going to call it quits for the night, Mani.”

She looked up, and gave me a small smile. “Yeah, me too.”

I glanced over at the clock on the opposite wall and blinked when I saw how late it was. “Mani, it’s 2 in the morning already.”

Her mouth jutted out to the side, “Oops.” Then we both chuckled lightly.

My face fell when a realization swept through me. When I got home and started studying with Normani, Lauren wasn’t here, and Lauren never came through the door, the whole time we were there. I was trying to fight the feeling, but I was worried.

“Hey, do you know where Lo is?” I asked as nonchalantly as possible.

Normani shrugged as she picked up her notebook and papers.

“Does she normally stay out this late?” I pretended like it wasn’t that serious to me by messing around with my backpack, and avoiding eye-contact with Normani.

“Not usually, but I’m sure she’s fine,” Normani offered. “I’m going to bed, goodnight Camila.”

I wanted to ask more about Lauren, but decided against it, as Mani walked to her room and disappeared behind her door.

An internal dialogue with myself ensued, as several questions infiltrated my head.

Where is that girl? We have a game tomorrow! What the hell is she doing out so late?

Well, maybe she stayed over at a friend’s place? But if that was the case, why didn’t she let any of her roommates know? She would let them know right?

Why wasn’t Normani more concerned? It is 2 AM! We do have a game tomorrow. Shouldn’t she be more worried? Am I overreacting?

It took me some time, but I decided to get up and get ready for bed, doing my best to ignore the incessant thoughts. I changed into my pajamas, and brushed my teeth. Once I was done, I settled under my blankets on the couch. I looked at the front door for a few moments, hoping Lauren would come through them. When she didn’t, I forced my eyes closed. ‘She’ll be here in the morning’ I tried to convince myself.

I tried desperately to fall into a slumber. I was exhausted, but my thoughts refused to stop. The unknown of the where, the what, and the with whom was driving me insane.

After about 5 minutes of agitated tossing and turning, I sat up with a sigh of frustration and reached for my phone. Looking through the contacts, I stopped when I found 'Lern Jergi’. A nickname I came up with for Lauren during her freshman year. I thought it was hilarious, but Lauren was never as amused.

I put the phone to my ear, awaiting the answer impatiently.

At last the ringing cut off, replaced with loud music and muffled conversations. Then the raspy voice arrived, “Camz!”

Relief washed through me. She’s alive at least. “Lauren, where are you?”

“Ummm….” Lauren followed that with some inaudible speech and I could hear some giggling in the background.

“What?” I asked pressingly.

“Um.. I’m with my friend Keana.”

I had no idea who that was. “Ok.. but where are you?”

“I am… in a house..I don’t know..” Her speech was heavily sluggish. She was clearly intoxicated.

“You don’t know where you are?”

“..No..”

I shook my head, my concern growing. “Where’s Keana?”

“Oh. She went to.. the back.. with this guy,” she recalled.

I sighed wearily. “Can you send me your location through the map on your phone?”

She took awhile to respond, then said, “Why?”

“I’m coming to get you,” I insisted.

“Ooh. Please come get me.”

I rolled my eyes. She’s drunk alright. “Send me your location, ok?”

“Ok,” she agreed.

I hung up the phone, and rushed to throw on a sweater and grab my keys. I was out the door as soon as the message containing her location reached me.

About ten minutes later, I pulled into an empty spot on the street outside the location. There were long lines of cars up and down the block. I opened the door, and could automatically hear loud music and various screams and conversation from partygoers.

I texted Lauren to let her know I had arrived. Heading towards the house, there were numerous cups lying about in the grass. Walking along the path, I had to jump backwards to get out of the way of two people running by me, chasing eachother. I grew self-conscious for a moment, remembering that I was in pajama pants and had no bra on. I rushed to get here so fast, I didn’t even consider it.

Then the door opened and a dark-haired girl stumbled out of it. 'Well, at least I don’t have to go inside and find her’ I thought.

“Hey sexy!” Lauren screamed at me loudly before throwing one arm around my shoulders and planting a sloppy kiss on my cheek. Her lips were rough. She was probably dehydrated from all of the alcohol she had consumed.

Then my nose scrunched up because of a certain stench that was attached to her. It gets worse. Upon a closer examination, I could see that her eyes were red and unfocused. “Are you high?”

She giggled mischeviously, then leaned towards me to whisper, “Maybe.”

“Lauren, we need to go,” I stated urgently.

“What? I thought you were coming to party with me,” she slurred. She then gave me the most adorable puppy dog eyes and stuck out her bottom lip in a pout, “Come party with me.”

“Come party with me back at home,” I said, trying another tactic. I tugged on her waist, hoping she would come with me.

She stumbled slightly at my force, but then wiggled her eyebrows at me, “In my room?”

I clenched my jaw, as a shiver ran through me. “No,” I said coldly.

She dropped her arm, and almost like a baby started whining, “Why not?!”

I was startled by her outburst and raised my hands slightly in defense. “Lauren..calm down. It’s time to go, ok?”

“No! Unless we’re taking this party to my room, I’m not leaving,” Lauren proclaimed.

I sighed deeply. It’s not like I had to actually go through with it when we got back home anyway. “Ok, we’ll party in your room.”

“No, I don’t believe you now,” Lauren said defiantly.

I groaned in irritation, my patience running thin. “Seriously Lauren? Come on,” I grabbed her hand and tried to force her to follow me, but she was surprisingly strong and stood her ground.

“Nope,” she said as she turned to go back inside the party.

Well, I couldn’t let that happen. I rushed around to get infront of her and did the only thing I could think of to get her to stop. I kissed her.

God, it was like kissing a brewery. I could literally tell how much she drank. She would have a massive hangover the next day for sure. Hopefully she wouldn’t even remember this moment.

When I pulled away, her eyes were still closed. “We’ll take the party to your room,” I declared.

A smile crept across her lips, as her eyelids opened, revealing her emeralds to me. “You’re pretty,” she said quietly.

This girl will be the death of me. She was so endearing. Although I should be mad at her for getting wasted the night before an important game, I couldn’t when she said things like that.

“You’re pretty too. Now let’s go,” I said grabbing her hand and pulling her along with me.

To my irritation, she stopped again. “Wait, what about Keana?”

“Keana?” Shit, I had forgotten about the girl Lauren came with.

“I can’t leave her,” Lauren argued.

“Ok, ok. Is Keana still with that dude?”

“Ummm…” Lauren trailed off. She creased her eyebrows and put a finger to her chin. “Think so.”

With her hand still in mine, we trekked into the party. I tensed up, just knowing I was going to get laughed at for my attire. 'Oh what the hell, it’s 3 in the morning anyway’.

The party was just as crazy as I had feared. There were people everywhere, barely enough space to breathe, much less move. It was a mess too. Trash was all over the place. Cups, wrappers, drinks, clothes laying on the floor. A spot in the corner of the room was oddly free of people, and a sheet was covering the floor there. I could see throw up on the wall surrounding it. The place was disgusting to say the least.

Most people were dancing or grinding against eachother. I noticed that about three people were passed out on the couch in the center of the living room. On the opposite side of the room, crowds of people were cheering and doing keg stands. The skunk-like stench was invading my nostrils, and incidentally my nose crinkled up.

A few people glanced at us, a couple of them did a double-take at my PJ’s but for the most part, we went unnoticed. Lauren led me through some people, upstairs and down a hallway. “She should be in here,” she commented pointing at a door with a bronze knob.

'I really hope I’m not interrupting something’ I cringed in my head as I knocked on the wood and then turned the doorknob.

Yup, we were definitely interrupting something. Both parties were fully naked. “Shit, sorry!” I exlaimed as I swung the door back to cover me and Lauren’s faces.

“What the fuck?” I heard a male voice yell from inside the room.

“Um.. Keana?” Lauren called out through the crack in the door. “I’m leaving. I wanted to make sure you’re ok.”

The girl who I presumed to be Keana appeared in the doorway, and opened it slightly, whilst pulling her bra straps over her shoulders. She had long, brown hair and was very attractive. “I mean, I was doing ok,” she huffed. She then turned and noticed me. “Who’s this?”

“This is Camila,” Lauren stated affectionately.

“Oh.” Keana looked at me with a smirk. It seemed like she knew who I was. That thought was confirmed when she added, “She’s as hot as you said she is.” She paused to look down at my lower body. “The pajamas are a nice touch.”

I blushed slightly, surprised by her remarks. Lauren told her about me? Told her I was hot? Lauren thinks I’m hot?

“Anyway, we should be going now,” Lauren interjected. “Do you need a ride?”

“Yeah, that would be great.” Keana looked back over her shoulder. “I’ll see you later Craig.” She caught a shirt that was tossed to her and pulled it over her head. Then she stepped forward, closing the door behind her. “Let’s go,” she smiled towards me.

When we walked back downstairs and outside, I realized Lauren still hadn’t let go of my hand. I wasn’t sure if it was because she simply wanted to, or if it was because she was afraid she’d lose her balance otherwise.

I asked for Keana’s address once we were inside the car and after that I sat and drove in relative silence, while the other two girls discussed the events of that night.

Apparently Keana had only just met the Craig dude about two hours ago. They got to talking, got to dancing, and then hit a blunt together. Keana said she was 'in the mood’ and he was hot, so she banged him. She talked about it as if it was the most casual thing. Like it happens as often as someone calls for a pizza.

I pulled up outside of Keana’s apartment, and she leaned forward from the backseat. She put her lips to my ear. With a slow and sultry tone she spoke, “It was nice to meet you Camila. Thanks for the lift, I hope I see you again.”

What the fuck? Who is this girl?

Then, rather quickly, she was gone from the car. I paused for a moment, taken completely off guard by this random girl I just met. She was very confident and carefree, both attractive qualities.

“I’m hungry,” Lauren abruptly complained. I looked over to find her rubbing her belly dramatically.

“Figures,” I chuckled.

I drove through a Burger King, ordering a burger and fries for her. As soon as I handed her the bag, she dug into it and shoved a handful of fries in her mouth. It was as if she hadn’t eaten anything in a week.

“Don’t make a mess in my car,” I griped.

Working hard to keep my eyes open, I drove back to the house. By the time I pulled up, Lauren was already done with her meal.

I parked and we both exited the vehicle. To my shock, Lauren’s hand returned to mine as we walked to the front door. I shook my head in confusion, but questioned it less when she gripped my hand harder whilst she tripped at the small step in front of the door. Under different circumstances, I would have laughed at her. Unfortunately, I was too exhausted to find anything funny at the moment.

I led her to the kitchen and filled up a glass of water. “Drink this,” I ordered.

“Yes maam,” she giggled, with a small salute. I rolled my eyes as she finally released my hand to take the cup.

I rubbed my eyes, struggling to keep them open by this point. Starting to feel uncomfortably warm, I removed my sweater, and set it on the counter. I looked back at Lauren to see her looking at me gleefully, while tilting the cup higher and higher as she basically chugged the water.

I shook my head, trying to debate whether I should ask her why the hell she was at a party tonight, or if I should wait for tomorrow.

Lauren sighed in accomplishment after she took the final gulp and slammed the cup back down onto the counter. “Done,” she grinned.

“Good, now let’s go to bed.”

“You’re coming to bed with me Camz?” she asked with hope in her eyes.

“Er.. no.” I mumbled.

“Yes you are!” Lauren insisted. She grabbed my wrist and practically dragged me to her bedroom. I kept trying to free my arm, but it wasn’t working. 'This is a bad idea’ was all I could think.

Lauren practically pushed me onto her bed. “Stay here,” she commanded, as if I’m a dog. She then pointed her two fingers at her eyes and then at me, to signify that she’ll be watching me.

My heart automatically started beating hard being in her bed again, making me remember the last time I was on her bed.

Lauren walked over towards her closet. I could barely see because it was dark, but with the slight light from the moon shining through the curtains of her window, I could just make out her curves as she removed her shirt, and then her bra. I swallowed, seeing the muscles of her back stretch and contract as she leaned over to grab another shirt and pull it on. She then pulled down her pants, and kicked them off. My eyes widened, realizing she was only wearing a thong underneath. Her bare cheeks were exposed to me, and I felt myself licking my lips without even realizing it.

I shook off the naughty thoughts arising in my mind and slipped under her covers, accepting the fact that Lauren was not going to let me leave her room tonight.

I relaxed onto her comfortable mattress, my aching back enjoying the new and improved location. My eyes started to flutter shut when I felt a warm body situate themselves next to me. My eyes shot open. Her bare legs were wrapping themselves around me, like a koala to a tree branch. Her face nestled itself into my neck, and she wrapped one arm around my side. The position was so amazingly comfortable. Her lips being so close to my skin was giving me goosebumps.

To be honest, if I wasn’t so tired, I probably would’ve jumped her right then. Instead, my eyes closed, and I fell into the deepest sleep I’ve experienced since I started staying with the group of girls.

—

Wattpad: munkeytutu

[nerdarchy-blog]

In my last piece I wrote about one of the modules I wrote back in the Mesozoic era.  “After all our 12 year old minds, while imaginative, couldn’t spin a coherent narrative. I still have a dungeon I wrote back then called Torth. It’s… um… well, the Plan 9 of modules. Made no sense.” Within hours, the stalwart and suffering editor sent to me “I am curious about Torth! Although my opinion of Plan 9 is colored by Ed Wood, which I’ve seen several more times than the actual Plan 9 haha.” [NERDITOR’S NOTE: That’s me!] However, by that point the semester was concluding, work was piling up, and I couldn’t do it.  Now the semester is done (I earned 2 A’s and an A-) and here I am sitting on the couch writing about something I wrote some 40 plus years ago. Get off my lawn.

A mockup from the author for Torth: Castle of Evil. Pretty cool if you ask me! Check out the gallery at the end of the post for the creator’s original cover, maps and notes. [Art by Erol Otus]

Torth: Castle of Evil

I started this while I was still the Dungeon Master for my first module, B1: In Search of the Unknown. For those who don’t know this module it was the first Basic Box Set module even before B2: Keep on the Borderlands. While B2 had all the monsters filled in, B1 didn’t. What the writers did for this one was they’d describe the room and leave space for the DM to include Monster then Treasure. So this kid got to enter whatever monster they wished whether they made sense or not. In one room would be a couple of goblins while the next room over (a 20 ft. x 20 ft. no less) would have a red dragon. My player (the Dave I mentioned last column) didn’t care. Kick open the door, kill the monster, collect the treasure (never mind how much people could actually carry), do whatever was in the room (ooh, pools!) then repeat. Yes, that was Quasqueton, stronghold of Rogahn the Fearless and Zelligar the Unknown!

I added a third level to Q, which featured an underground lake with an island on which were the barracks for all the off-duty monsters. There was a bugbear barracks, a room for vampires…you get the idea. That was me trying to figure out a reason for the monster placement.

After that it was Dave’s turn to DM and I played my first character, Apollo. We played almost every night. During study halls or after going home after gaming I started writing what I thought would be my magnum opus! It needed a name. One afternoon when we weren’t playing the Monkees were on TV. One of them was Peter Tork. I changed the name a little and so the module had a name: TORTH!

I started by drawing one third a map, wrote about the rooms, then more map and so on. Oh, this was great stuff! Killer! No character could possibly survive! Plot? What’s that? Dave also wrote some of the dungeon and I asked people who had no idea about the game for trap ideas as well. Torth eventually had three levels, two of which had giant underground lakes (one on top of the other??) with 200 total rooms and was finished on June 10, 1980. I even bought a report folder for it to make it more official and traced the umber hulk picture for the cover. I made the umber hulk the proper colors even though some of the umber hulks appearing in the module are orange. Don’t ask — I’m already embarrassed enough.

Eventually Dave and I learned that a new kid in the school, I’ll call him Rodney, also played D&D! Well, he wanted to learn anyway. He was and still is a goof ball and was enthusiastic about playing. As Dave and I were now experts at the game…hey stop laughing!  Ahem, experts at the game, we would teach him. And where would he learn? TORTH!

You can see this train wreck coming, can’t you?

Not being one to make things easy on himself, and with the new AD&D Player’s Handbook in hand he decided to create a 1st level half-elf fighter/cleric named Pantalian. I, with the brand spanking new Monster Manual, was determined to try all of these new monsters.

The adventurers needed a reason, no matter how flimsy, to enter this dungeon. I reproduce it here, word for word, misspellings and all. On the word for word stuff I’ll insert my comments in italics. Because.

CONTENT WARNING — rape

****************************************************** Many years ago, when orcs ruled the countryside, a magic user came.  He enslaved the orc tribe the green foot and made them build him a castle. The orcs were also forced to build new homes for poor people of the towns they destroyed. The castle was dug deep into the cliff side of a mountain. (So… it was a cave? A castle?)

This good magic user, ruled the countryside fairly the townspeople loved him dearly.

Many a cleric and Magic user came to him to study and for advise.

Soon Torth was getting old, and said he needed an heir. He adopted a boy by the name of Rascen. A few years later, the old wizard died, and left everything to Rascen.

Rascen, like his stepfather, was a good man. He trained to be a druid. (As one who lives in a fancy cave castle does.)

One day while holding the passover feast, the holy grail appeared. This brought pride to Rascen and his people. (Ummm.  Yeah.)

While holding Court a beautiful girl came and stated a powerful knight was disturbing her. Her name was Rachel. Rascen himself slew the knight, and fell in love. (Fell in love with whom? The knight?) Soon Rascen asked Rachael to be his wife. She consented.

A few years, later a son was born. They named him Carnan. He grew up to be a magic-user after his parents died. But Carnan was evil. Carnan ruled harshly until one night, the castle mysteriously caught fire. He was said to be killed, along with other evil clerics and magic users. (Ok, the cave castle caught fire. HOW???)

The townspeople lived in harmony. A knight named Maskoth was appointed mayor. He ruled fairly.

One night, Maskoth disappeared, only to be found the next day, totally insane. He was babbling something about Liches or other evil. He died a few years later of mummy rot disese. This was the first evil. (ooh — scary!)

A sage said there would be six evils on the town. No one believed him. Soon a mysterious beggar came to town. A few days later he killed the captain of the watch. This was the second evil. (Damn mysterious beggars!)

After that, a good cleric came to town, and was told of the two evils and went to the castle, never to be seen again. A month later, bones were found in the woods near the castle. On them was a holy symbol. Scholars doubt this carnage was the cleric, but the people knew it was. This was the third evil. (Scholars studied this???)

The month after the finding of the bones, ghouls, mummies, zombies, wights, wraiths and ghosts plagued the town for one week, killing many. This was the fourth evil. (Okay — this is a town. By this point, there can’t be many people left, and those who survive, why did they stay?)

One night later, a girl named Josephine disappeared. She was found the next day, brutally murdered and raped. This was fifth evil. Now the windows of the castle are scarlet, as if a fire was burning inside. (I was a screwed up kid going for shock value. Also, what windows? There are no windows in the cave castle!)

A few days later all the infants and old men were killed. Evil swept the town. The chapel was burned! The monastery pillaged! This was the final evil. (Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria! Oh wait.)

Now the sage stated that evil will kill us all if it is not removed, and that the source of the evil was the castle. “A fighting man would be needed” stated the sage. That night he died of mysterious causes. (As one does in these tales.)

One night a merchant was passing on a road that is near the castle. He claims he saw a hooded figure in a rear window looking, staring out. The figure was all white, had glowing eyes, and burnt, shabby clothing. (WHAT WINDOWS?) That was last night. Go now to the castle and defeat the evil inside.

(Yeah. Go. Defeat…whatever.)

*****************************************************

Pantalian and his NPCs died very quickly. He was reincarnated five times. He lasted longest as a troll. Then one day his character sheet vanished. Turns out someone we both knew tore it up and flushed it down the toilet. Rodney to this very day blames me for this and in revenge he and the other person destroyed my character’s painstakingly kept journal. However, I was not the culprit. Doesn’t matter, he still blames me.

How did Pantalian die so quickly? Well, here’s a few rooms, typed in exactly as scrawled back then, mistakes and all. The first room the characters will encounter after entering the castle would be room 17, which was a 20 ft. x 40 ft.

“The room is dingy. In the southeast corner is a 10 ft. circular iron cylinder. It has elvish runes on it and cannot be read except by the evil. They tell the history of evil. (That must’ve been small type!) When the door is closed, the lid pops open, orange smoke issues forth and 2 lemures pop out. 7 hp, 13 hp. 1 potion of flying, ring of skeleton, 900 sp.” (The ring would reduce the wearer to a skeleton instantly, no save, just dead.)

It was Pantalian and an NPC fighter. Lemures were devils with 3 HD and regeneration. Only blessed objects could kill them. Of course a brand new player wouldn’t know this, nor would they possess such an item. Or be aware of regeneration. So the lemures just kept coming and Rodney, being the jock type, wasn’t about to run away!

Splat!

He created a second character specifically to go in and drag Pantalian’s body out. He was then resurrected and the second character became an NPC, a half elf fighter/magic-user. Neither lasted long. I decided the player needed help. I know! A magic weapon! I gave a gnoll a longsword +5 Defender. And again, Pantalian fell. His NPCs, as he now kept several, managed to kill the gnoll and get the sword for him. It helped against the night hag in the next room. Seriously.

The true shame of Torth was the way it was designed. This was supposed to be the castle of a good wizard but the map is a jumbled mess. Nowdays if I were to make that map I’d say chaos magic twisted it into its current form. Back then I just figured that dungeon maps were supposed to be mazelike. The Ruins of Undermountain proved me right. Again, I was a kid and hadn’t any experience writing.

Since that time D&D writing improved vastly. Jennell Jaquays introduced the concept of sandboxing an adventure with her Judge’s Guild pieces. Narrative plots began having some depth. Maps began to usually make sense. Also the players, me included, became more experienced along with the game as it developed.

Torth’s ending had the Heart of Evil which had absolutely no reason for existing except as a McGuffin for the character to reach and destroy. Of course in a linear sense it was in the last possible place.

“194 — The Heart of Evil. On the heavy door is a tarnished plaque that says “The Heart of Evil.” (As the major quest targets always do.) If the leader of the party is good, the door only opens on a one (if hit by an evil person.) (Huh?) When the door is open, the outcropping is seen. The two sides emit an orange yellow glow. This is the heart of evil in the castle, placed here by Balzebul. (Why???) This outcropping pulses, for it is alive. AC -2 Hit Dice 5. 21 hp. If the “heart” is threatened, it will summon 5 manes or other devils. When somebody is killed in this room, the heart grows brighter (that is only if a good person is slain, if an evil thing is slain in this room, it dims) Good slain — it gains 1 hp. Evil slain — loses 1 hp. (Fair enough but why only one?) If there is an evil person is in this room during melee, there is a 75% chance that he or she will turn against the good in the party. (Before you ask, there were many rooms that changed the character’s alignment. And every 13-14 year old kid plays chaotic neutral, no matter what their declared alignment.) When the heart is killed, all evil in the castle dies and disintegrates. A cherubim comes to warn the adventurers to leave, for in 12 hours the castle will crumble into dust. (When heart dies the yellow orange glow leaves) (It doesn’t help or anything. It just comes in, makes its grand proclamation and leaves.) Also if the heart is threatened, it will generate an evil energy field. If a good character goes in, they lose 1-4 hp per round. (Oh, by the way, it has protection from good sort of.) 1000 exp for killing the heart.”

Hearts of Evil can be pretty innocuous looking!

  Sigh. When I wasn’t available to DM Dave would DM for me. Eventually, near the end of the first level a magical slide appeared taking whatever character Rodney was playing by that time directly to the island where the Heart of Evil was. No devils popped up but he had a major time beating on the thing before it died. And so ended the only time Torth was ever played, with over two thirds of it avoided.

Why write a column about this aside from the editor asking? I write a lot now between this, my monthly column at Transgender Forum, my blog and other things. Whatever a person creates, be it art of some kind, writing, song or whatever they leave a piece of themselves in it. That’s why no two artist’s works are alike or no two authors (not counting intentional style stealing.) Torth took me quite some time to write during a tumultuous time in my life.

It was around this time that my inner demons, which I later understood to be my misplaced gender identity, really began to plague me. Also around this time I started studying martial arts as I was tired of the beatings I received at the hands of bullies. Add to that I was a late bloomer and while all the other kids were hitting puberty, I wasn’t. I dreaded puberty as I knew it would make me exactly what U didn’t want to be: a man. All of this and more all swirled in my head. My only real escape then was gaming, especially D&D.

As I wrote above, when someone writes they bring part of themselves and that includes D&D adventures. I have since that time written over 100 D&D adventures for my players or for others to run. I haven’t read Torth since, well, 1980 or 81. I’ve kept it in my pile of D&D papers or with my modules since then and it’s moved with me many times. I started reading it for this piece and I had to stop. Yes, some of what’s written is Ed Wood bad or worse. That’s not what stopped me, nor was it the poor penmanship, as it was all written in longhand (in pencil!).

I stopped because what I read was a howl of anguish (cliché, I know) from a child who knew they were different, couldn’t understand how or why and whose life was changing and out of control. I was lashing out at whatever caused me pain. I can tell when Rodney started playing. Rodney was a goofball and is still a great friend but he was also a jock. He would become a champion wrestler, attend VMI and serve as an officer in the Army like all men in his family before him. He was everything I wasn’t. Unconsciously, I lashed out at him through the module. There were many times in Torth where the characters were magically transformed, just as I wished I could be.

So yes, Torth was a train wreck but so was I. In many ways I’m still that child struggling against all I am. However I now understand who I am and have the power to change what I don’t like. Rodney and I still play D&D every other weekend on Roll20, as he lives in Michigan. And he still brings up Torth every session. Other players live in Philly, Maine and one here in State College. They’re going through Keep on the Borderlands — my selection. It reminds me of a far more innocent time when gaming was just gaming, yet also a lifeline to other worlds. Sometimes an orc is just an orc after all.

Be well.

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Original cover for Torth: Castle of Evil

Grid map of the Castle of Evil dungeon

Dungeon Master’s notes for Torth: Castle of Evil

Torth Updated!

Step back in time with our resident old school D&D creator to explore Torth: Castle of Evil! (warts and all) #staynerdy In my last piece I wrote about one of the modules I wrote back in the Mesozoic era.  

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW4

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s.

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

All of them. Full Wildcard Squad:

Foster

Blind Jones Naughton Mee

Eriksen Salah Brady

Kane Lukaku Firmino

--

Elliot Jese Chalobah Francis.4 itb

The Phil shout, while proving to be entertaining pod banter, is just a bit too soon and a risk too great. After more fucking around and consulting some wise FPL managing friends I decided to put Rom back in. He still has four good on paper fixtures on the horizon it felt too rogue and dumb to go without in the end. Dull approach, but hoping it is the sensible one. I don't want to tank my season just because I had two bad gameweeks. Need to set up for the medium term and keeping Lukaku in just feels like the right decision.

My real flair shout is Jese. I was looking around that 6m bracket a lot and while Richarlison has the stats I just can't get past how absurdly bad their fixture run is. There are a few names from the promoted sides knocking around but just didn't feel great with any of them. Jese has that classy look about him and I can bench him for the tough games. Happily taking a punt there so we'll see. 

GK:

Foster will go. I did give a bit of thought towards keeping Fabianski but in the end I wanted a piece of the WBA defense and Foster is the cheapest nailed route in. They look a lot better this season and Pulis is properly going for that 1-0 each game. The addition of Kcrycykrkykrhhghwiak plus their defenders getting healthier will only help. At Brighton I have a feeling will not be a clean though. Brighton have been shit but they'll be very hungry for their first league goal at the Amex. Hopefully it doesn't come. He does also rotate well with Elliot...although....I am not sure I will bench Foster in his tough games yet. That is a problem for another day.

DEF:

I'm going to run out four defenders this weekend as I will be in a sort of hybrid 343 / 433 benching Jese in a few of his difficult fixtures in the near term. I'm sure he'll make me rue that decision but I'm going to just play the fixtures. I've never, ever done this in my FPL career - bench a non-4.5 mid with a bad fixture in favor of a cheap defender with a good fixture - so we'll see how it goes.

Blind and Jones will be set and forgets at the back. Hopefully I don't get fucked with Blind and rotation with UCL starting up although I probably will. Kill for Darmian in UCL and Blind in the League. Worst case, I still have depth to cover if he misses any games.

I switched from Ward to Mee when I looked a little closer at their stat comparison. A Mee goal is coming and I'd like to have that. Praying to all things in life that Mee drops tonight down to 4.4 as it would be shitty to see him on -98 or something after the price changes happen.

Finally, new boner inducing fuckfest Naughton goes. Part of the reason why I am keeping some money in the bank and not finding a way to get another 5.0 in defense is because of my love of Naughton and desire to start him rather than have him sitting on my bench as cover. Go the fuck on Kyle. Hopefully Clement sticks with the three at the back experiment and he keeps playing as RWB. If that is truly the case I think he's the best value defender to own in the entire game.

MID:

Eriksen vs Alli was a tough one. Alli's suspension for the first couple group games in UCL does give him a little feather in his cap as Alon would say but I just fucking don't like him. He's still "good" but fuck him. Just as likely to go out and have a cheeky stamp or something and get a red card. Eriksen is in the form of his life and involved in everything and more so I'll hold him. Hopefully some goals are coming with him. I just love Eriksen.

Salah is the most obvious pick on the planet on WC. Will not spend time discussing his inclusion.

Finally, it feels great to have the Irish Messi and this year's Mahrez in the side - Robbie Brady. The new soup du jour the new legend leader fuckfest. Burnley look great and his underlying stats are terrific. Wood will be a good target for him as well and I think he'll be a fantastic steady stream of points. Love him. Love the fuck out of him.

FWD:

Here is where the party is. Lukaku stays. Hoping pens will be off him so he doesn't get anymore -2s the big Belgian donkey fuck.

Kane was straight the fuck in. I can emerge from behind the couch watching Spurs and just be happy when the best player in FPL scores points.

Finally, Bobby Firm was also straight the fuck in. I'm not gay, not that there's anything wrong with that, but if I were I'd absolutely let Bobby stick it in my bum.

CAP:

Sticking with my dull nature it is on Rom...again. Fourth game running - hey say what you will about my backsliding from exclamatory pod shouts but I am nothing if not consistent. The hypocrisy from that last sentence is just too fantastic for me to delete it and re-word it. No Shawcross and potentially no Zouma for Stoke suddenly makes Rom a lot more attractive. I really do believe Wimmer is shit and I think they could be in real trouble if Zouma doesn't make it. Go on Rom. Just don't miss another pen you piece of shit.

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Prince Kev and dududu dudu dudu Gini Wijnaldum

IN: Mo Salah/Salad/Sarah/Pauline and Robbie Brady

Simplest transfers that I’ve ever made. These were basically locked in as soon as City match hit 90′ two weeks ago and it hasn’t changed since. It leaves me a ton of money in the bank which I’m hoping will facilitate something like Mariappa->Alonso and a change to 4-3-3 for me after this GW assuming nothing else goes wrong.

I would guess that like 90% of pod listeners could’ve guessed my two transfers given the opportunity. Let’s go.

GK:

Nothing new here. Tom Heaton maybe will get me north of 3 points for the first time all season which would be delightful, he’s been completely horrible thus far. Home Palace is as good as it gets though so I’m very much hoping for a clean. Walsh vetoed us going for Burnley in the Survivor League so whatever I’ll have to get it out here.

DEF:

The usual. The three amigos. My defense has carried me to where I need to be in this moment so I can only hope they keep kicking the fuck on.

Phil Jones is a no brainer nothing needs to be said there Stoke suck dick and they look like cleans every week.

Ryan Berty is a good guy although I’m a little worried because Southampton are just so underwhelming and Watford look pretty good this season. A little ambitious to hope for a clean but maybe he’ll get an attacking return or bones, he’s always good, can return any week vs. anyone.

And lastly soup man Kyle Naughton... just listen to the pod and Walsh’s jizzing over him to capture our feels on him. He made the episode artwork for a reason. Get in.

MID:

Not the most fearsome foursome in the game right now but I’m in a transitional period as I said above moving to the 4-3-3 over two GWs. I didn’t think that it was worth taking a hit to start a defender over Chalobah who’s a good shout for a three pointer, if not nailed for a two pointer minimum.

Low chance of gaining on that hit, no need for it yet, so Chalobah gets a start again for me. Like I said, 3 pointer sounds very real from where I’m sitting as Soton cannot score so let’s go on and maybe I get lucky.

Daveed survives another week in the side looking in form for Spain and been City’s best player in their first few matches. Hope he just keeps playing far forward and keeps ticking, no reason to not do. Although fuck him vs. Liverpool :)...

Robbie Brady the other soup du week is a scenester I love him. I think I will roll with him for an extended run and I just feel like he will tick over very very nicely for me (for us). I’m excited for the Brady era and the millions of FPL players at home whom I’ve helped convince to go that route. (Is that the right way to use whom? I’m sure Walsh will correct me.)

And last but not least is Mo Salad boy getting the fuck in. Like I mentioned on the pod his stats are ungodly. So if he keeps getting that amount of chances and creating that many chances then whatever, he’s not the best finisher in the world, but he will keep donging. Even if RAZ got these many chances he’d be donging regularly. So fuck it, salad boy in, go on, new love, let’s fuck.

FWD:

Same old same old...

Rom doing his thing looking like fucking horrible dog shit but surely due for a brace or hatty soon in this insane run of fixtures for United.

Kane is still I think the main man in FPL and for all of those people sending in WC teams to us I think that to each and every one of you who don’t have Kane I’ve probably said something along the lines of, “Yeah I like it, but no Kane is suicide,” and I’m sticking by that.

And Bobby. Where are all the Failmino haters now. Bobby is the fucking man end of... Ugh I don’t even have the vocabulary to describe my love for Bob in this moment. Go on.

CAP:

Yep Rom for me too. I said that’s where I’d go on the pod and I’m sticking to it. He just has the best fixture and is the safest bet. Captain choices start getting more interesting after this week and I’m looking forward to that, but for now, go with the safe guy.