#i am so beyond annoyed

[fatgirlgetsfitatlast]

3/1/23 Food Log

Well, I didn't do the hip opening challenge tonight cos I'm tired and annoyed, and I don't think I could really focus on it tonight. Gonna just do some stretching and hopefully get back to the normal routine tomorrow.

[katabay]

my knight-monk agenda strikes again, but this was less of a 'I read something that made me experience several emotions and a strike of inspiration at once,' and more of a 'wouldn't it be fucked up if the bejeweled skeleton saints came to life and and started. eating people. or something. in revenge. medieval catholic horror, or an older horror of not being buried right. zombies, even. a complete bastardization of holy visuals. zombies.'

it's a far away idea, but I still wanted to play around with font layouts. like, if I DID make it into a full comic: these would be visual vibes, perhaps.

it's also a little bit about the kind of intimacy that these kinds of spaces provide, or in the case of this monk: the heavy trauma of war and the death of your brother, the escape to a secluded monastery, spiritual brotherhood to make up for your dead brother, but your role as a physician keeps pulling you back to this violence you want to escape. physician, heal thyself, only you have a holy calling to serve those in need, so instead: physician, open up your wounds again. saint jude, patron saint of lost causes, give us a fucking hand here, man. amen.

Homosexuality in the Renaissance: Behavior, Identity, and Artistic Expression, James M. Saslow

and this one is about earlier history than the medieval period that this comic is set in, but the monk character is sort of an exploration of earlier themes. a little bit. I like overlapping eras with each other, I've done it before and I'll do it again. this character is an exploration of some other stuff too, but mostly this book was interesting to read

From Monastery to Hospital: Christian Monasticism and the Transformation of Health Care in Late Antiquity, Andrew T Crislip

bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost

[fairycosmos]

something is going to work out for me. i will tell you why something is going to work out for me. because if something isn't going to work out for me i will swallow many lethal pills

[ind1c0lite]

Previews for both my pieces where nothing bad happens at all! you can trust me I promise <3

pre orders for @aabadendingzine start today!! it's pay what you want and all funds are going to the Transgender Law Center in the usa! You can also get all the digital merch for 4$+, there's a l o t of good stuff there!

The Gumroad is here, and it ends on sept. 30th, so get in while you can <3

[asbestos-11]

huhu the struggle of finding blade fics that are about him and his struggle with immortality and whatnot. huhu pleaseeee there's too little gen fics about him.

[iratusmus]

going to say something possibly controversial but like. im sorry you literally cannot ship scourge with any of the protagonists unless you a) give scourge a redemption arc, thereby ruining the entire point of his character and also making him incredibly boring or b) give the protagonist a corruption arc, which would be hysterically funny but also almost inevitably ooc

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[not-rome]

I am so tired of reading stories where the trans character has to hate themselves. They're not allowed to love their body in any way. They have to be saturated in self-hatred that eats away at them and only goes away once they've started transitioning. Where are the stories where they have such a complex relationship with their body and their identity. You don't have to hate yourself just because you're trans. You're allowed to love yourself and your body. Where are the stories that explore that? Why must I read a million "they only find self-love when they now fit the gender binary in presentation"? It's 2023, we have to have some better ideas, right?

[captainhunnicutt]

I hate the episode “Hanky Panky.” Hate it. And not because my boy is at his absolute worst (relatively speaking, he gets worse later in the series and I love him for it - I will die on this hill). I hate it because it’s done in such a way that screams “the viewer is stupid and we need to hold their hand through it.”

The episode literally starts out reminding us of how committed BJ is, and how much of a "family man," he is. Incase we had forgotten - because otherwise this plotline would fall even flatter than it does.

It immediately puts you on alert. "Uh oh. BJ is gonna do something stupid, isn't he?" And you immediately realize it's with Carrie - WHO WE HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE - and now you're just waiting and hoping BJ doesn't fuck up.

Maybe if we had seen some sort of introduction to Carrie an episode or two before, "Hanky Panky" would achieve what it's after. Shock. The realization that BJ isn't this perfect golden boy who won't be impacted being thousands of miles away in a war zone. But we don't. We meet her 1 minute and 26 seconds prior to the conversation with BJ and Hawkeye. That's it.

I joke a lot about the lightning of this episode, but for real it's just so infuriating as an intelligent and capable viewer. I'll couple it with the close up shots because they ultimately go hand in hand.

That soft lighting in Post-Op is the thing I hate the most about this episode - particularly the soft lighting behind BJ. It's a totally different angle than we're used to seeing of people talking in Post-Op and it just screams "Viewer!! Look!!! BJ looks attractive and charming and approachable!! Remember this!!!" And Carrie (I love her by the way), looks angelic and perfect and like some damsel in distress.

Then the scene in Carrie's tent. The lighting and shots start out just fine. Absolutely normal - and then right when they start to pull away from the hug the coloring and lighting does a blatant shift. It even goes as far as the cliche fade to black to allude to they idea of them sleeping together. VIEWER!! YOUR GOLDEN BOY, THE FAMILY MAN, MADE A BIG OOPSIE!!!

And then finally, the talk outside of Post-Op? Goodness. Obviously we're supposed to sympathize with Beej here. He's lit more behind, his hair has an angelic glow, we're looking at him head on - Carrie is barely lit behind, and the camera angle is looking down at her the entire time. The message becomes clear: "BJ fucked up but it's okay because it's BJ and you'll forgive him and move on, viewer. We just wanted to show you he's not so perfect!!!"

And unfortunately the writers were right. We all completely disregard how shitty BJ is about the entire situation. We all completely ignore that he gets "an enormous attack of the guilts" that he blatantly ignores her and is a "bear," to her whenever around. We all completely pretend like he doesn't admit OUT LOUD that he's worried he can't control himself because she's "right here, and you're so attractive and so close." "And so vulnerable." "Yes."

Yeah, we all pretend it doesn't happen. We all move on, myself included, and love him anyway and so the writers got what they wanted. But it's the epitome of lazy because we all forget about it so quickly. It doesn't impact anything or anyone. The only time it's even hinted at again is in "War Co-Respondent" - which does such a better job at showcasing BJ's mental struggle in regards to being unfaithful (Note: Thank you Mike for that. I have my own thoughts on where that episode comes from but that's neither here nor there, I guess). If it wasn't such a lazily written episode, we'd talk about it more. But we don't. It's a throw away episode for a lot of us, because we never actually get to see BJ wrestle with it outside of that one scene in the Swamp with Hawk. That's it.

If it had been done right, that was their chance to really start to dig into BJ's morals and ethics on more than a surface level - and how those are challenged because he's not in the confines of his safety net of marriage and family in the states - and how those things coupled with being there against his will forces him to look at is it the idea of wanting to be committed that's appealing, or the actual act.

In conclusion, I hate "Hanky Panky" and I would've loved to have seen Carrie lay into him and call him out on his shit for a solid five minutes.

[moe-broey]

Another superstition for gachas specifically is that if you haven't played/summoned for a while/long time you'll have better luck. And if you summon consistently you'll have shit luck. WHICH TBH I would NOT be shocked if that was a Real Thing bc gachas are evil and want your money.

[meduwusa]

i think my problem with a lot of goro akechi/shuake content is that people try to fit him into the typical fandom tropes while ignoring the finer intricacies and nuances to his character. like they make him the blushing maiden, completely detective prince style or the evil manipulative villain beyond redemption so they can shape him into the fandom characterization mold that can then fit into ship memes and incorrect quotes and the like. idk. this plays into a bigger issue i have with fandom of mischaracterizing and especially widely-accepted mischaracterizations.

[daz4i]

oh my god earlier this week i was talking to my mom abt how i used to constantly feel bad even at elementary school despite having good grades and not having social issues or mental illnesses yet (undiagnosed autism aside). and she really helped me crack the code by saying "yes you always came home angry about (kid in my class) getting better grades than you in math or (friend) being better than you in english even though you knew she is american" and then it clicked. i was simply always a jealous competitive annoying little bitch who has to be the best and most specialest at everything or i may as well die

[coelacat]

just know if you take a faceless character (covered by a helmet, hood, anything like that, just generally a masked face) and give them a face this is ruining autistic representation. just so you know

[baekuras]

Tomorrow I need to do an eye checkup in english (instead of german aka the norm) and I just checked if there are any better ways to explains things or tell people what to do etc instead of my basically direct translations and turns out

nope

it sounds exactly as stupid as i already worded it, no special words or better formed sentences around 10/10 school english is good enough (nice)

[saltycharacters]

God I'm just. Really tired of sexual shit being in everything literally cant even interact with a relativley general-age media without dealing with it at every corner. Interacting with fandoms especially it's so fucking depressing like it's not SUPPOSE to be there but people never think that their horniness isn't above critiscism and that there's little to no responsibility they have to practice when interacting with media IF THE MEDIA ISN'T SEXUAL/EXCLUSIVLEY FOR ADULTS THEN DON'T SEXUALIZE IT simple fucking logic yet I can't have shit on this bitch of an earth