#i am this close to hurting sakura for hurting sasuke | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anyon-else · 3 months

Text

Bite the Hand That Feeds Me (Bite the Hand That Needs Me) (The Red Room pt.15) | You and Kakashi are confronted with familiar demons. (Marvel AU) – spotify playlist | read on ao3

Pairings | Kakashi Hatake x Black Widow!Reader + Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha, Naturo Uzumaki, Ino Yamanaka, Danzo Shimura, Asuma Sarutobi, Kurenai Yūhi, Genma Shiranui, Orochimaru, and one (1) mysterious man

Warnings | ANGST, hurt/comfort, this one's pretty heavy ngl, gun violence, blood, torture (kind of? like a little but not really), dissociation, suicidal ideation (I PROMISE IT'S NOT AS BAD AS IT SOUNDS)

Word count | 10k (yeesh)

(previous chapter) | (next chapter - coming soon) | (series masterlist)

"I am a dead woman, and I don't care."

Katherine Mansfield, from Journal of Katherine Mansfield

Kakashi came to in a room that he had only been in once before.

It had been decades since he'd last seen these concrete walls. The two-way mirror in front of him was an unwelcome sight that left him with nothing to do but watch his reflection watch him back. He wondered who was doing the same on the other side.

Handcuffs kept him locked to the table, though he took note of the lack of restraints on his ankles. Standard procedure aside, most of the suspects who ended up in this room were violent enough that extra precautions were oftentimes necessary.

Not that he planned to follow their example.

They could have left him anywhere else. Any other room would've been better than this—hell, he would've taken a doghouse if it had been an option.

The last time he was here, he was being questioned for murder.

He looked up at the creak of the metal door—the decades-old hinges still sounded the same as they had when he was twelve, and it was as unwelcome as it was familiar.

His hope for any semblance of understanding from his interrogator was lost when Danzo Shimura stepped through the door. With his lips turned down in an irritated frown, Danzo looked like his usual, unenthused self. He and Kakashi watched one another for a very long moment, trapped in a silent stalemate that felt uncomfortably familiar.

What wasn't familiar was the air of dangerous satisfaction Kakashi could sense from the older man.

Danzo took a seat in the chair opposite to Kakashi's, blocking his view of his reflection. With little decorum and far more force than was necessary, he tossed something noisily onto the table between them. It slid across the hard metal and came to a stop in front of Kakashi.

Kakashi instinctively reached towards it the moment it came within arms reach. His handcuffs jerked noisily, and he scowled at them, then at the satisfied look on Danzo's face.

"I take it you know who this is," Danzo said, pointing towards where you stood in the framed picture. It was the one of you and Sakura that he kept in his room, and its only purpose had been to bring him some semblance of comfort in your absence. Kakashi closed his eyes, trying not to linger on his stupidity for having something so damning out in the open.

Still, he never thought that SHIELD would go so far as to kidnap him and his...

"Where," he began darkly, noting the slight downward twitch of Danzo's smirk when he heard the dangerous note in Kakashi's tone, "are my students?"

"Things will go a lot smoother if you just answer my questions."

Sasuke was angry. No, he was livid.

He had never really put much faith in SHIELD as an organization. After HYDRA had been exposed from within their ranks, the small seed of trust that he'd tried to cultivate in his early days as a trainee was ripped from the ground. He only trusted Kakashi-Sensei because he could tell that his mentor wasn't just another one of SHIELD's loyal dogs. He was his own man with his own sense of purpose and justice.

He had always held that same respect for Asuma, but now he was beginning to rethink his initial assessment

"Sasuke," Asuma sighed above him, "I know you're confused, but–"

"Confused?" Sasuke spit back incredulously, finally looking up and meeting Asuma's eyes. The man was thin-lipped, waiting expectantly for Sasuke's words.

If Sasuke had any say in the matter, Asuma would never get the answers he wanted.

"I'm not talking to anyone except Kakashi-Sensei," he finally grumbled, turning his head from Asuma with a finality that made the agent sigh.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised," Asuma shook his head, slumping into a chair near the door and running a hand over his face, "look, I'm not your enemy, Sasuke. I just want to understand what's going on."

More silence.

"You asked Shikamaru for help with something," he pushed, pulling a small grimace from Sasuke, "and if it had something to do with the HYDRA agent–"

"Don't call her that," Sasuke snapped.

"What should I call her, then?"

Sasuke sneered in lieu of an answer. Asuma sighed again.

The conversation was interrupted by a groan on Sasuke's left. Both glanced towards where Naruto was lying on his side, the last of the three to regain consciousness. He shifted away from the lights, lifting an arm to shield his eyes from the harsh fluorescents.

"Sasuke?" he grumbled, peeking over his arm at his friend. Sasuke glared at him, an unspoken order of silence. "Where are we?"

"SHIELD headquarters," a third voice snapped from the corner of the room. Asuma glanced at Sakura warily, "we were kidnapped by our own people."

Sasuke couldn't help but be unsettled by the rage in Sakura's voice. It reminded him how cruel HYDRA had been to her. It had shaped her into a person that, at times, felt completely foreign to him. When she was consumed by this kind of anger, she felt unreachable. Untouchable. Like anything she came into contact with would burn to ash.

It was as if the room itself held its breath when she spoke. Sasuke saw the way Asuma halted at her biting words, and he wondered fleetingly if his suspicion of HYDRA extended to Sakura. After all, she was no longer the girl he had helped train in her adolescence. Now she had the training of HYDRA's most lethal weapons.

"Sakura–"

"How did you find out?"

Sakura turned, looking at Asuma over her shoulder with a gaze that almost made Sasuke shiver. He swallowed against his drying throat.

"I can't tell you that," Asuma sighed, looking genuinely apologetic for the situation he was putting the three in. Naruto narrowed his eyes, putting the pieces of the situation together and giving Sakura a hopeless glance. Sasuke saw his desire to go to her and offer some form of comfort, but stopped him with a firm shake of his head. Sakura had turned back towards the wall, completely closed off from even Sasuke and Naruto. They couldn't see her expression, but they saw the slight tremble in her shoulders.

"Is Shikamaru alright?" Naruto asked after a pause.

"He's fine."

"What about Kakashi-Sensei?"

"He's being questioned," Asuma said, trying to keep any emotions from bleeding into the words.

Sasuke knew that this couldn't have been easy for Asuma—despite the orders he'd been given, and despite Sasuke's own anger, it was clear that Asuma believed in Kakashi's loyalty.

But he did not have the power to decide what happened to you or Kakashi. That was up to the Director.

Although, in the Director's temporary absence, he supposed those decisions would fall to Danzo. The thought concerned him as much as it infuriated him.

"Can we at least talk to him?"

"Not yet," Asuma sighed, "we need to get a grasp on the situation. And things would go a lot smoother if the parties involved were a bit more cooperative."

He looked at Sasuke pointedly, knowing that any glances in Sakura's directional would go unobserved. The boy scoffed, arms crossed almost petulantly over his chest as he turned his head away from Asuma's gaze. Naruto looked between his two friends, then at Asuma.

"Naruto," Asuma softened his tone, kneeling in front of the boy with only a hint of guilt in his expression for exploiting Naruto's mixed emotions. Clearly the weakest emotional link of the trio, he was the most likely source of any useful information, "this is a complicated situation, but the last thing I want is for anyone to get hurt. Things would go a lot smoother if you tell me what's going on. Maybe then I can help Kakashi."

Naruto looked skeptical. He glanced at Sakura, who still had her head turned away from them, then at Sasuke, who glared at him. Their determined silence sent a clear message, but Sasuke knew that Asuma saw how uneasy Naruto felt at the idea of leaving Kakashi to his own defenses.

"You have to try to save her, too," Naruto said after a long silence.

"Naruto," Sakura hissed, turning towards him incredulously at the same time that Sasuke slapped a hand over Naruto's mouth. He shook it away and glared at Sasuke, who met his gaze with the same determined ferocity.

"This might be our best option," Naruto hissed, "Kakashi-Sensei trusts him. We've known him our whole lives–"

"It doesn't matter," Sakura snapped from her place in the corner of the room, "once you've been stained by HYDRA's name, there's no undoing it. That's all you are, and nothing can change the way they look at you. It doesn't matter how you got in or why you stayed—it just matters that you did their dirty work."

"Sakura, that's not fair..." Asuma started, but the furious glare she shot in his direction silenced him.

"Fair?" she laughed. Suddenly, it was like Sasuke got a glimpse into the person who had spent four years in HYDRA's clutches, surviving off of nothing but rage and a fierce determination to survive. "No, you're right. There's nothing fair about this. She and I were in that hell together. We both killed for them. We escaped together. You're so worried about her, but there's another person just like her standing right in front of you!"

Silence followed the outburst. Asuma held Sakura's gaze, unwilling—or maybe unable—to look away.

"She was born there," Asuma said slowly, looking guilty even before the words began leaving his lips. Sasuke tensed in anticipation of his next words, glancing cautiously in Sakura's direction. Her calm expression was masking the rage that was clear in her tense form. Her fingers twitched as if they itched to wrap around Asuma's throat. Despite his own anger, he leaned forward in the event that he'd have to put himself in between the two. Asuma was strong, but Sakura was an unstoppable force now that she had the training to give weight to her rage.

"I'm not blaming her for what she's gone through," he continued cautiously. Sasuke knew he noticed the way Sakura's calm facade was beginning to split into a boundless anger he had only seen a handful of times. He wanted to beg Asuma to shut his mouth, but a part of him wanted to let Sakura do as she pleased.

Maybe she could get them out of this room. Maybe they'd find you before you were taken somewhere they could not follow.

They needed to get you back.

"But she has been a HYDRA agent her whole life," Asuma continued, pulling Sasuke from his thoughts, "she is unpredictable. And if she hurts someone, then she becomes a liability."

Sasuke glanced at Naruto, thinking back to your return. Had anyone at SHIELD known how close you'd been to shooting Naruto, no explanation of mind-control or Orochimaru's cruelty would have convinced them that you were not the enemy.

"You know nothing," Sasuke finally muttered, both to tell Asuma what they were all thinking and to stop Sakura from saying something that would only make their situation worse. "And locking her away like she's a common prisoner is nothing short of cruel–"

The door clicked open, cutting Sasuke off before he himself could lose control of his spiraling emotions. Asuma stood from where he was blocking the entrance and pulled his chair from the door's path.

"Director," Asuma gaped, "we didn't expect you back until tomorrow."

"I heard that Kakashi and his students had been brought in as suspects."

Her voice floated into the room like a clear, refreshing spring. Then she entered, looking like an angel descending to save them. Surely she would have enough common sense to fix this without letting anyone—namely you and Ino—get hurt.

"Yes ma'am. Agent Hatake is being questioned."

The Director sighed as Asuma stepped away from the entrance.

Director Tsunade Senju was Sakura's hero. Alongside Kakashi, she'd helped shape Sakura into the person she was today. Before she was taken, Tsunade regularly coached her in field medicine, requesting her help on small missions to give her as much experience as possible.

She was kind. Sasuke knew that, despite her cold exterior, she'd understand that you were a victim of Orochimaru's cruelty as much as Sakura had been.

She fixed them with a long look, both to ease their worries and warn them to stay put.

I'll fix this, it seemed to say, just be patient.

Patience was not in abundance between the three of them, but after one last longing look in Tsunade's direction, Sakura sat in between Sasuke and Naruto, and they waited.

"If you don't talk, you won't get to see your students."

Kakashi thought his jaw was going to break. He'd been clenching his teeth together for the entirety of this interrogation, and he could feel his cheeks starting to ache from the tension. Having a conversation like this would've been infuriating with anyone, but he was quickly losing patience with Danzo's condescension.

Perhaps to the detriment of any argument he could hope to make to the Director once she returned, he stayed silent.

"Hatake," Danzo sighed, tapping his fingers against the glass picture frame between them. Kakashi glared at the smudges he was leaving in lieu of looking at the infuriating expression on his face, "this isn't going to just go away like Rin did."

Danzo went quiet as the words sunk under Kakashi's skin. He felt cold—like he'd been dunked into a pool of ice water. The room suddenly felt suffocating. Danzo knew what this room meant to him. He had probably demanded that it be used for this interrogation.

"Don't talk about Rin," he said lowly, feeling the full weight of Danzo's words as the man sneered.

"You have no right to speak disrespectfully to me. You're lucky you're here and not a cell. If it were up to me, I would've–"

The grating creak of the door interrupted Danzo's threat, and both he and Kakashi paused as Genma stepped into the room. He looked bored—like this was just another interrogation—but when he met Kakashi's eyes, Kakashi saw the suspicion that he was trying to mask.

"Agent Shimura," Genma droned, "you're needed outside."

Jaw tense, Danzo hesitated for a split second before rising to his feet.

Kakashi tried to be subtle as he tested the reach of his cuffs, but they caught just shy of the edge of the frame. He sat in dejected silence as the door creaked shut.

While being in this room with Danzo was more than unpleasant, being in it alone was somehow worse. It reminded him too much of a time he thought he'd put behind him, but being back here made him feel like a child again. When he looked back at his reflection in front of him again, it was as if his face had become younger. Those youthful features were twisted with grief and anxiety. He had just been a child back then, unable to face the reality of his actions.

But he refused to let Danzo use his failure to save Rin against him. Not when all he wanted was to keep you away from HYDRA. Despite his initially selfish intention to just save Sakura and let you go, he knew that he had done the right thing in offering you a place with him and his students.

Convincing SHIELD of that was going to be more difficult.

The door didn't move again until what must've been at least an hour, and the creak of the hinges was sounding more and more like nails on a chalkboard each time it opened. He glanced towards the silhouetted figure standing in the entryway and felt relief for the first time since he regained consciousness.

Tsunade was standing in the doorway like an angel come to save him. Even the light that surrounded her shone like a glowing halo. Kakashi felt his unease begin to melt away, replaced by utter exhaustion.

Tsunade stepped further into the room, and the door shut firmly behind her. He could almost feel Danzo's eyes on him on the other side of the glass.

"I'm taking over your interrogation," she began, sliding into Danzo's chair and pushing the frame to the edge of the table with barely a glance in its direction, "Danzo has an uncharacteristically colorful vocabulary when it comes to you."

Kakashi stayed silent, treading these waters very carefully. When he was a child, he'd been volatile and reactive. It had been easy to rile him up and get him to let information slip in his anger.

It was a pattern of behavior that he had long since grown out of and had no plans of repeating.

"Well, I'm sure you've been given very little information, so I'll make this easier for you," Tsunade began, folding her hands over a stack of papers that Kakashi assumed contained Danzo's case against him. It was thicker than he would've liked, "Danzo received a tip that you were harboring two HYDRA agents and decided to release a toxin in the compound rather than risk a confrontation with potentially hostile targets."

Kakashi blinked. He wondered if Tsunade also saw the absurdity in Danzo's tactics, but her expression told him nothing. She was as stone-faced as ever, and Kakashi began to fear that he'd lost her trust in all of this too.

"The HYDRA agents," he began, "are from the Red Room."

Tsunade froze. The words were as familiar to her as they had become to Kakashi—everyone in SHIELD knew who had taken Sakura. The problem with finding her hadn't been their identity, but their location. Orochimaru's strength was in his ability to hide the Red Room from SHIELD's watchful eye. It's main base changed locations frequently enough that finding Sakura had taken years.

"They're not with HYDRA anymore," he told her carefully, lowering his voice and leaning in close enough that his words wouldn't be overheard by anyone on the other side of the glass, "they both knew Sakura while she was there. They protected her from Orochimaru. I...I don't know if she'd even be alive if it hadn't been for them."

Tsunade considered this, albeit briefly. Kakashi knew how complex the situation was—realistically, Tsunade couldn't let any personal feelings interfere in her decisions. Despite Danzo's less-than-ideal method of bringing you in, he was technically within the bounds of SHIELD's protocol.

Kakashi was the one who had complicated things. He could see that Tsunade was not just angry with him, but hurt by his lack of trust in her.

"I would've told you when I brought her in," Kakashi said lowly, "but she was an important part of making sure Sakura was safe. I couldn't risk her being taken. She was too valuable to let go."

"Sakura has been cleared for nearly a year now," Tsunade snapped, though she kept her voice at his volume. Her eyes were knowing, and he wondered just how desperate he looked to her, "you should've told me."

You would've taken her, Kakashi wanted to say, and I couldn't risk that.

"Have you seen her?" Kakashi asked instead. He knew where his priorities should've been—Tsunade was expecting answers, but he had to know where you were. Once he knew you were safe, he would give her everything she needed to know. Everything that would convince her that you weren't a threat.

Tsunade blinked at him. His stomach knotted.

"She's not here, Kakashi."

Your instincts as were sharp as knives.

They'd had no choice but to become so. Anyone who got too close didn't walk away unnoticed or unscathed. It was one of the fundamental teachings from the Red Room: surveillance of one's surroundings is crucial for survival. If you cannot identify a threat that is out of sight, your skill level will not make a difference.

So, even half-conscious and unable to open your eyes, the first thought that came clearly through your muddy thoughts was that you were not alone.

There were two other people in the room—one to your left, and one in front of you. They were veiled by shadows and obscured from your vision, but you felt their stares like guns pointed at your head. You choked on the breath that you greedily sucked into your lungs, then exhaled with a strangled sound that seemed far louder in the thick silence. Neither of the figures moved as your breathing evened, but each eye that was on you seemed to glow in the suffocating darkness. They were like predators poised to kill, and with the handcuffs keeping your arms behind the back of your chair and the rope holding your ankles still, it wasn't hard to guess who their prey was.

Familiarity was a quiet buzz in your ear, but you ignored it in favor of evaluating your chances of escape. As the fog cleared from your mind, however, you became less hopeful of your odds.

The figure to your right stood and approached you, his face slowly becoming visible as he walked towards the single light illuminating the middle of the room. He moved out of the shadows with careful, calculated steps, and you recoiled as soon as he came into view. While you barely recognized his face, you understood what the clothes he wore meant.

A black robe cloaked him almost as much as the darkness had, but it was the small red insignia on his sleeve that sent a cold chill down your spine. The bright red eyes of the skull seemed to glow in the darkness, almost matching those of the wearer.

"HYDRA," you whispered before you could keep your mouth from moving. You shut it immediately, unsure of where the word had come from, but realizing with uncomfortable clarity why it felt so significant.

HYDRA owned you. The thought was so clear that you wondered how you had ever forgotten. Suddenly, the urge to kneel at this man's feet and beg for any form of mercy made your position in the chair uncomfortable in an entirely new way. You shifted, nearly bowing your head to him when he caught your chin between long, nimble fingers.

His eyes held an intensity that sent a shock of fear through you. His fingers were cold where the met your skin, and you fought not to flinch when his hold tightened. He was looking at you like he could see into your mind and read your every thought.

"For someone under Kakashi Hatake's protection," he finally said, though his words held more curiosity than threat, "you are a laughably easy person to find."

You swallowed, but your throat had dried up the moment he'd stepped into view.

"I suppose I should apologize. Orochimaru was give far too much leeway. He should have been taken care of a long time ago."

Your breath halted at the name. Though it was still mostly a mystery to you, fear was a familiar feeling that wrapped itself around you and squeezed until you couldn't breath. The man watched you carefully, studying your reaction with clear interest.

His eyes drifted to the second figure sitting silently in front of you. His face had become more clear as your eyes adjusted to the darkness; long, dark hair framed his face, and his eyes were venomous, narrowing when they locked with yours. Though his head was downcast—partly, you assumed, because of the blood dripping down multiple cuts on his face—his expression was full of familiar malice.

For the past eight months, you'd felt as if a crushing weight was hovering just above you, held up by one thin thread. You knew what that weight contained—it was everything you'd lost. Even without it bearing down on your shoulders, you were certain that it would crush you, but you wanted to feel its weight all the same. You wanted to feel whole again—not like the ghost of someone you couldn't reach.

You laid eyes on Orochimaru, slumped in his chair and gagged by a white cloth, and the weight fell.

Memories of the experiments you'd undergone suddenly came into sharp focus, and the blurry face that had always resembled Kakashi finally became clear. Instead of grey hair, black locks came into view. They surrounded your vision as Orochimaru leaned over you in half-remembered memories, studying your eyes like they would hold the key to your submission.

His voice rang in your mind clear as day: I gave you everything. It is only right that you return my kindness. You owe me everything. This is your purpose.

It was his voice. His hands holding you down as you thrashed against bolts of lightning in your veins. His control masked as reassurances of an end to the pain. His face behind the mask that he wore to convince you that Kakashi was your enemy.

It was his rage that followed you when you escaped. His ghost that you were so desperate to protect Sakura from.

"Hm," the man hummed after observing you for a moment, "Kabuto was right. It is you that brings her memories back. That must've caused you quite the headache."

He was looking at Orochimaru now, who snarled at the man in front of him. You recognized the look—how had you ever forgotten such a terrifying face?—and the rage it contained did not seem to phase its receiver, but the force of it left you paralyzed.

Or maybe it was the memories that were still flooding your overloaded mind, each begging to be seen even when you had no more room left to look.

You didn't realize that the man had moved towards Orochimaru until you heard his voice. It was that same light, hissing cadence that made you beg for mercy each time you failed his experiments. It was the voice that raised you to submit to his will.

It was still just as terrifying as it had been when he abandoned you.

"I'm impressed," he said with a snarl, looking at you rather than the man now standing at his side. "I thought you were weak enough to be forced into submission. But look at you now: gaining the attention of the Akatsuki."

Your eyes widened, and your gaze snapped to the man who was watching the conversation with interest. He met your eyes, waiting in silence as you processed Orochimaru's words.

The Akatsuki were ghosts. You had never been told their identities, nor had you ever seen a member in the flesh.

All you knew was that they ruled HYDRA from the shadows, pulling the strings of the organization with terrifying ease.

"I've come to understand that the Red Room is in need of new leadership," the man sighed, a disappointed frown falling over his lips, "now I see that the problem is worse than I anticipated."

Orochimaru's rage filled the room like smoke. You felt as if you could choke on it—it filled your chest and left you breathless and gasping for air.

"Would you like to kill him?"

It took you far too long to realize that the question had been directed towards you. The words were as genuine as the man's gaze. He didn't say them like this was a taunt or a test of loyalty. It was an offer.

You swallowed against the panic blocking your throat. You couldn't breath. This man...you could feel his power. It filled the room, thick enough to drown you. You wanted more than anything to refuse—to make him understand that you couldn't kill Orochimaru—but you couldn't force a response from your lips.

"She won't kill me," Orochimaru sneered, saving you from the man's suffocating gaze. His eyes slid from you to Orochimaru, "she can't."

"We'll see," the man responded cooly. "Let's hope that fear was a strong enough tool to save you from your own creation."

The man reached behind you and unlocked the handcuffs around your wrists, then cut the rope from your ankles. Before you could regain feeling in your fingers, the cold, familiar steel of a gun was pressed into your hands. You looked down at it, expecting to see the HDYRA insignia etched into it. Instead, the hourglass-shape that symbolized the Red Room was cut into the grip.

This was Orochimaru's weapon. You'd watched him use it countless times. You had faced its barrel more than once.

Holding it felt wrong. The idea of using it made you nauseous.

"Well?" Orochimaru said, a cold grin on his face. "Prove me wrong, little spider."

You hated him. You hated how useless he rendered you—as if you were nothing more than a machine waiting for commands. You begged your useless limbs to lift the gun in your hands. Killing Orochimaru was something you'd dreamed of for a long time. It was an urge you'd felt more strongly than any other when he'd tried to kill you using Sakura's body.

The Akatsuki approached Orochimaru, producing a knife from within the robes that cloaked his figure. In one swift movement, he cut the ropes from his wrists and tucked the weapon away.

Orochimaru brought his hands in front of him, flexing his stiff fingers with a heavy sigh.

"You gain nothing if you kill me," he said, wasting no time before standing from his chair and pushing it to the side. He seemed utterly unconcerned by the weapon in your hand, "I'm not the one holding you hostage."

His eyes were on the Akatsuki now, as if he had forgotten all about your presence and the gun in your hand.

"You want your freedom so badly? Kill him," Orochimaru said, sliding his gaze towards you once again. He watched you with an intensity that made your stomach drop—his eyes were swimming with an emotion that you couldn't place. You could see that his desperation was turning into something closer to insanity.

"Kill him!"

You flinched against your chair, grip tight on the gun. The Akatsuki watched with thinly veiled interest, unconcerned with Orochimaru's attempts to get him killed.

"You understand, don't you?" Orochimaru said with a laugh, stepping towards you with little hesitation. You stood, pointing the gun towards him. Undeterred, he walked forward until the barrel touched his chest, "if you kill me, you'll never be free. Do you truly think the Akatsuki will let you go after everything you've done?"

You stilled.

Your life was beginning to feel like a cycle. The moment you escaped Orochimaru's suffocating clutches, he sank his fangs into you once again and dragged you back into his web. You had been trapped for a long time.

"Is that what I was with you?" you whispered. "Free?"

Orochimaru tilted his head, lips twitching with a poorly concealed smirk.

"If not for me, you'd have no home. Am I not your family?"

"No," you choked, "that's not what I asked. I asked if you gave me freedom."

Freedom was what you were taught to hate. Freedom went against everything you'd been told since birth. You were raised with a set of shackles and ordered to give the rest of the world the same treatment.

"Freedom is a lie," he hissed, amusement gone from his tone. He leaned over you, forcing you to lift your eyes to see his malicious snarl, "you've been gone for far too long. Freedom is unattainable, and therefore should not be striven for. You've wasted your time trying to escape the allegiance you owe to me."

Before you could respond, Orochimaru was reaching towards you with speed that you hadn't realized he possessed. He gripped your wrist and reached for the gun in your hand with a maddened look in his eyes and a fierce determination to bring you to your knees once again.

But you were faster. You shifted so your back was to him, but his grip on your wrist remained tight. To keep hold of you, he was forced forward, closing the distance between your back and his chest with a frustrated snarl. At the same moment that he tried to trap you with his other arm, caging you against his chest, you threw your head back against his. He released you with a groan, clutching his forehead and stumbling backwards. His eyes were alight with fury. Your hands trembled around the gun, adrenaline and fear mixing together to create a messy, confusing swirl of emotions in your gut.

Part of you wanted to beg for his mercy. Another part wanted to kill him where he stood.

He began approaching you again, seemingly too furious to speak, but you steadied yourself and lifted the gun. He stopped, disbelief making a split-second appearance on his face before it was masked with a smirk.

That twisted, sickening smirk seemed to follow you everywhere. Even now, after he'd tried so hard to erase himself from your memory and replace his cruelty with a false version of Kakashi, seeing that expression on his face felt like welcoming an old friend.

Every Widow was familiar with that smile. For many, it was the last thing they saw.

You were not righteous. You had never felt the desire to seek revenge or justice for the things Orochimaru had done. For most of your life, Orochimaru's word had been law. The Widows were unquestioning against his demands and unflinching in the face of his cruelty. Detached from the reality of your comrades dying, you had never considered their deaths as sacrifices or tragedies. You couldn't. You would've fallen apart the moment you let yourself grieve them.

"There will always be failures among you," he'd said once, "and it is my job to see that the weak are purged. You should all be honored that you are among the strong. I've chosen each of you because you have the potential for greatness. Do not disappoint me."

Perhaps it was the sudden onslaught of memories that made the voices of those he'd killed echo within your tortured thoughts. Perhaps their pleas for mercy were directed at you, transforming into demands for vengeance as each overlapped with the other.

They begged for his death. His suffering would calm them into silence. You were a vessel for their desires, and they wanted him to bleed.

"Beg me for your lives," he would order, watching with that same smirk as they got on their knees and asked for his mercy.

He never gave it to them.

"Believing that you are special," Orochimaru said lowly, "will only bring you misery. You're still the same, scared little girl that you've always been. You're barely keeping yourself upright."

He wasn't wrong. You could feel the tremors wracking your body, and you knew they were clearly visible to both him and the silent Akatsuki watching from the corner.

"Do you remember them?" you finally asked, voice hoarse and trembling, though you were beginning to have trouble distinguishing your fear from your fury. "The girls you've killed?"

He let out a sharp, cruel laugh.

"Do you?" he asked, eyes narrowed. "You're no more innocent than I am. That's why I chose you. And what do you do with my favor? You throw it away like some petulant, ungrateful child!"

"I never wanted to kill anyone."

"A sorry excuse," he spit, "that does not mean anything. I didn't give you a place as a Widow because you were skilled. Every girl I trained, alive or not, was a skilled spy and assassin. You were chosen because you were obedient. I told you to kill, and you did so without hesitation or mercy."

Hinata's face flashed in your mind, eyes wide and desperate as you sank a knife into her chest.

"Yet you still chose to follow my orders," he continued, "I was not controlling you. It was your hands that ended their lives. You may believe you're being righteous, but if your intentions were as pure as you seem to think them, you would end us both. Your hypocrisy disgusts me."

"You forced us to kill one another," you shook your head, fighting against the voice in your head insisting that he was right. "That wasn't a test of strength?"

"Strength of will," he grinned, teeth bared and shining in the dim light. "You proved your loyalty was to me rather than any so-called bonds you may have formed with the others. It's a pity I didn't see your uselessness sooner. Your work for me was certainly not worth the headache you've become."

His bravery was commendable. Or perhaps it was confidence in your inability to pull the trigger.

"Haruno was a step towards a better future," he told you, smile falling from his face, "I was close to perfecting her, and after that, I would've been able to implement the same technology for all of you. The Black Widow Program would have seen a new era of growth."

You bit your tongue, trying to contain your anger at such a casual mention of Sakura and her suffering. You felt the iron bite of blood stain your teeth and tongue and let it ground you.

A long time ago, you would've allowed yourself to become what he wanted. You would've tied yourself down at a single command from him and allowed him to control your each and every thought. All he had to do was say the word.

But you had never cared for him. Never loved him in the way that he imagined his Widows should. Even in your desperation to go back to him in those first months with Kakashi and Sakura, you hated yourself for your dependence on him. You hated him for turning you into an extension of his own will, leaving you with no room for your own thoughts or desires. You had always been angry. You had always hated him.

But your anger was a quiet thing.

It festered beneath layers of fear and unquestioning obedience. Orochimaru beat his girls down until devotion to him became second nature.

And although fear remained, your devotion had cracked beneath the weight of his cruelty a long time ago. And now you knew what kindness was. What it looked and felt like. Affirming words and gentle touches that had once been foreign broke through the haze created by Orochimaru's control. Each layer that he had built so meticulously had seemed to shatter with a single touch.

It had all broken down so easily. His fragility had never been more clear than in this moment.

"Beg."

Stillness followed the word. As the sound faded, it felt as if it took all of the air around you with it. You thought the room itself had gone still, paralyzed by the force of your command.

An invisible, suffocating weight fell onto your neck like hands, as if attempting to force the word back down your throat.

Orochimaru was silent. His face was a tempest of disbelief and rage, and his hands itched at his sides as if it was painful for him to keep them still.

"You think I won't kill you for what you've done to Sakura? To the other girls?"

You took a step towards him, gun now steady in your hand despite the slight tremble in your voice.

"To me?"

You might have lost your mind. He was certainly looking at you as if you had.

"Beg me for your life."

On your knees, he'd always ordered.

He needed to feel as powerless as the girls he'd killed.

Why does your life have value to me? he'd ask, not caring to hear the answer.

He needed to hurt like they did. Like Sakura did.

Beg me for your life, he'd said each and every time he held a Widow at his fingertips and made her grovel, and I'll consider letting you live.

"You're a fool," Orochimaru chuckled, voice low and quiet despite the fury behind his words. He looked like he'd gone mad with rage, just barely holding himself back from violence. "just like all the others."

He took another, careless step forward. Before he could take a second, you lowered the gun and fired off a single shot. It hit his leg with a muted crack, then he was on the floor, breathing through grit teeth. He fell to the opposite knee and let out a frustrated shout.

It felt like something had taken over your body. Like it wasn't your words, but the words of those who deserved justice slipping from your lips. Pure, unhindered anger surged through you like a sudden, destructive wave. You'd never felt anything like it before.

Perhaps it was Orochimaru's conviction that you were too weak to kill him that triggered it. Perhaps it was the sight of him on his knees in front of you and the sick satisfaction you felt at the sight.

Before he had a chance to react, you shoved him back with your heel. He landed on his back with another groan, and you pressed the toe of your shoe into his neck.

"Well?" you asked quietly. "Why do you think you deserve to live?"

"They're just going to kill you," he hissed lieu of an answer, meeting your eyes and choking on the final words when you pressed harder against his throat, "you...you think Hatake will be able to protect you and Haruno from them?"

The laugh he let out as he motioned vaguely in the Akatsuki's direction was nothing more than a wheeze, but it still sounded gleefully arrogant.

"I don't care anymore," you said, closing your eyes and raising your head to the ceiling, "he'll protect Sakura, and they can do whatever they want to me. It doesn't matter."

You lifted your foot from his throat and he gasped, laboriously pushing himself off of his back.

"As long as you're gone," you said, lifting the gun once again, "I can die in peace."

"Wait," he wheezed, holding up a hand as if it would do anything to block a bullet, "I can help you. I can help you gain your freedom from HYDRA."

He's getting desperate.

A smile slowly spread across your lips.

"I told you," you knelt down, pressing a thumb into the wound on his leg. He groaned, too weak from pain to move out of your reach, "to beg."

He was panting now, chasing after desperate gasps for air. Pathetic, the Widow whispered in your ear. You smiled again, lips splitting from ear to ear.

Hello, old friend.

"Please," he finally snarled, his glare deadly as he wrapped his fingers weakly around your wrist, attempting to pull your hand from his wound.

Ah, you thought, eyes lighting up as the word tumbled from his lips, so this is what power feels like?

"Again."

No longer was the room engulfed in silence. Filling it now were Orochimaru wheezing breaths, each one more labored than the last.

Then, he began to laugh.

"You..." he muttered as he pushed himself forward, settling into a crouch before meeting your eyes, "you really are a hypocrite."

Then, in a burst of strength, he leapt forward, hands grasping at your shirt and lips pulled back in a wild, furious snarl.

You fired a second time.

Finally, everything went still.

He stumbled, eyes locked onto yours and a foreign expression on his face: pure, unconcealed shock. Then he fell forward, hands still gripping your shirt. Even in death, he managed to pull you to your knees, though it didn't take much effort. The strings of ghosts holding you up and guiding you until this point were suddenly cut, and you collapsed in a heap of dread and debilitating relief.

Orochimaru landed unceremoniously next to you, arm hanging limply over your lap and his fingers loosened on shirt.

He had stopped breathing before he hit the ground.

Disgust suddenly sent a wave of nausea through you, and you shoved his arm off of your legs. He rolled onto his back, empty eyes staring at the ceiling and arm landing on the floor with a smack.

The sound sent a shudder through you. Any rational thought had left you in the wake of the chaos—you just felt empty.

You took a deep breath, choking on the inhale and sinking onto your back as you pushed it from your lungs.

"That was quite the performance."

You didn't have the energy to be startled. Your head rolled on the floor until you were looking into the Akatsuki's eyes. He had the audacity to look pleased.

"To think that one pesky little spy was enough to bring Orochimaru to his knees," he let out something akin to a chuckle, "The Red Room must've been more fragile than he was letting on. Though it's rather poetic, no?"

He knelt down next to Orochimaru's body and gingerly pulled his eyelids over his open, shocked eyes.

"Well, I suppose we can discuss it some other time," he said finally, standing and taking a step closer to you. You turned your head, forced to look straight up to keep your eyes on him, "under different circumstances."

"Where are the others?" you choked.

"They're safe," he responded cooly, "they're at SHIELD's headquarters. Well, almost all of them."

You narrowed your eyes at him, thinking back to the haze that the night before had become.

"Ino," you whispered, breath catching in your throat.

The man looked amused by your concern

"There's no need to worry about her," he shook his head, waving a hand as if waving the mere idea of her away.

"Where is she?" you asked weakly—a far cry from the demand that you meant it to be.

"As I said, she is no longer your concern, nor are you hers."

His voice had become firmer, and you were reminded who it was standing above you.

You closed your mouth.

Seemingly satisfied with the way things had gone, the Akatsuki gave one final glance at Orochimaru's body before turning in the direction of the door.

"Wait."

The man paused and glanced back at you, emotions wiped from his face. You looked at him again—studied his face and his black hair and the ring of red around his pupils.

"Sasuke..." you choked, "he has a brother."

He stared at you, expression the picture of composure, then slipped through the door.

You remained motionless on the floor for a long time, splayed out next to Orochimaru's motionless body. His blood stained the ceiling, and you flinched when a drop of it fell onto your face.

You couldn't—wouldn't—think about what you had done. If you acknowledged the blood splatter above you or the body next to you, you'd have to admit that...

That Orochimaru was dead.

What am I supposed to do now?

The thought was passing, but you felt wholly unequipped to try and answer it. You felt far away from the person who laid motionless on the ground next to the lifeless body of her creator.

And even though Orochimaru was gone, this was still a cage. HYDRA had still found you, and you were insignificant compared to the larger powers at play around you.

The Akatsuki had said it himself. You weren't important to HYDRA.

So why had you been given the power to kill Orochimaru?

Through a haze of muddled emotions, you heard boots pounding against the concrete floor outside. You tried to give your body the appropriate commands to prepare for an unexpected entry—get up, move behind the door, keep quiet and catch any intruders off guard.

But you remained motionless, completely drained of any fight you had left.

If you were going to be trapped by HYDRA again, then maybe letting them find you was the best option.

You could hear doors being opened from the end of the hall. It wouldn't take long for them to reach you, and it was clear from the gun in your hand and the body next to you what had taken place. They'd see what you had done, and they would finish the job that the Akatsuki had left incomplete.

You pushed yourself against the wall on the opposite side of the door, cloaking yourself in shadows. Orochimaru's body was illuminated by the single bulb hanging from the ceiling, and blood was pooling on the floor around his head, reflecting the light and looking impossibly bright against the concrete beneath him.

You closed your eyes, but his face remained burned into your memory like a brand of guilt.

It only took a few moments for the pounding feet to reach the door of the room you occupied. It was shoved open and hit the wall behind it with a crack. You swallowed against rising bile.

"Y/N."

Your eyes slipped open automatically at the sound of his voice.

He couldn't be real. The Akatsuki would be back for you. Catching the attention of such powerful members of HYDRA couldn't be anything less than a life-sentence spent serving them.

But...

"Kakashi?"

He was here. This wasn't some trick or a poor imitation—he was here and he was real.

You were reaching towards him before you could stop yourself, risking falling forward in your haste to feel something solid and real and alive beneath your palms. He rushed forward, kneeling in front of you and taking your face between unsteady hands. He studied you for a moment, searching your expression. His touch was warm, masking the lingering chill of the Akatsuki's fingers gripping your chin. You felt yourself relaxing, head sinking into his hold.

"You remember."

It wasn't a question, but you nodded anyways. You were still piecing together your memories, trying to sort out what was real and what had been a mere fabrication under the threat of torture, but your feelings—your real feelings—they were all there. They'd been dug up from the trenches of your mind and demanded recognition.

You felt the weight of Orochimaru's death and your tempestuous memories lift when Kakashi pulled you against his chest.

His arms were anchors. They kept you from slipping away or looking just past his shoulder at Orochimaru's body. You buried your face in his shirt, closing your eyes and breathing in the smell of the forest that lingered in the fabric.

"I found you," he whispered. You nodded, too drained to speak. He held you like you would slip through his fingers if he loosened his grip. Still, you wanted to be closer—to make sure you wouldn't fall away from him again.

"He's dead," you whispered. You looked up and watched the door with wide, burning eyes, terrified that the Akatsuki would come back through the door at any moment. You could still see the blood surrounding Orochimaru in your periphery. "I killed him."

You choked on the words, denial flooding you before you could stop it. You couldn't have...you wouldn't have killed Orochimaru. He was everything. Your master. Your father. The reason you were still alive. Without him, you–

"Stop," Kakashi whispered.

The river of doubt came to a halt, and all you saw in the clear blue was a reflection of you in Kakashi's arms.

"He's gone," Kakashi whispered. At the same moment he spoke the words into existence, he brought a hand up and cupped the side of your face, blocking his body from your line of sight. "He can't hurt anyone anymore."

The other girls. He can't hurt the other girls anymore.

He can't hurt Sakura anymore.

Your eyes drifted to Kakashi's wrist. Though it had been weeks since you'd attacked him, the ringed bruises where your hands had been hadn't fully faded yet.

You touched the marked skin as gently as possible, running the tips of your fingers over yellow and purple skin, then dipped a hand under his shirt and pressed it against his stomach. You remembered, albeit vaguely, the way you'd kicked him to the ground, heel mercilessly sinking into his stomach in your blind panic and rage. He hissed at your touch, barely loud enough for you to hear, but you froze at the sound, retracting your hand as if it had been burned.

"I'm so sorry," you croaked. You had done this to him. No explanation of brainwashing or torture could excuse that, "I hurt you-"

"Stop," he said firmly, "you thought I was going to hurt you, and you were defending yourself. Nothing that happened was your fault."

"I could've fought harder."

You'd known, even while in the deepest recesses of Orochimaru's tricks, that what you were being told wasn't true. You knew that some part of you had always been skeptical, even if it had been buried somewhere you couldn't see.

"You did what you did to save Sakura. If anyone should've fought harder, it's me. I was the one who thought she was safe, and I was wrong. I should've fought harder for you."

You shook your head, but stilled when Kakashi's head fell against your shoulder. He deflated, sinking into your arms as if all of the energy had drained from him in a single moment. His hands fell from your face and wrapped around your waist, pulling you in so close that your legs had no where to go but on either side of him. You blinked, one hand lifting to tangle in his hair and the other falling to his waist like it was the most natural thing in the world.

The hands around your waist were trembling just slightly. Kakashi's head was pressed against your neck, and you could feel his eyelashes brushing again your skin.

"Kakashi..."

"Don't leave again," he whispered, breath heating your skin. You felt his lips brush against your neck as he spoke, and your grip tightened on his waist, "please."

Your breath halted at the word, and you could feel your heart racing as you thought back to what you'd done just moments before.

Beg, you'd said. You hadn't even hesitated.

You were just like Orochimaru. Kakashi hadn't seen your cruelty towards him. Hadn't seen how bloodthirsty you were in his final moments. Would he still be saying this if he knew what you'd done?

"Breath."

Kakashi was running a hand up and down your spine, as if coaxing the air from your lungs. You did your best to do as he asked, taking in a trembling breath and closing your eyes so that you couldn't see the gruesome scene surrounding you.

"They're going to kill me, Kakashi," you whispered, panic finally finding its home back in your chest. There was no world in which the Akatsuki let you live after everything that had happened.

Kakashi sat up at your words, his hands leaving behind a captivating warmth on your back.

"Who–"

The creaking of the door cut him off, and you looked over Kakashi's shoulder and met the eyes of a woman standing in the entrance. Kakashi lifted his head at the noise, tense and preparing to jump from where he sat to confront the intruder, but to your surprise, he relaxed at the sight her. Her eyes shifted from you and Kakashi to the body on the ground, then back again.

"Tsunade," Kakashi said, voice hoarse. "Buy us a few minutes. Please."

You watched, wide eyed, as Kakashi addressed the director of SHIELD like they were old friends. The woman standing in front of you was someone you'd been taught to despise your whole life, and Kakashi was still holding onto you like she was simply a passing stranger whose opinion held no weight.

Tsunade was silent. She watched you with a calculation that almost reminded you of Orochimaru. You shivered, still doing everything in your power to block his body from your view. Finally, Tsunade sighed and stepped out of the room.

"Ten minutes," she instructed coolly. "All clear! Start searching the next corridor!"

When the door slammed shut behind her, you looked back at Kakashi with wide, panicked eyes.

"Why is SHIELD here?"

The better question was: why isn't HYDRA?

"I'll explain everything," he swallowed, "I promise. I just...I need to hear you say that you'll stay."

That was not a simple request for him to make.

"Kakashi...it's not that easy. HYDRA will still–"

"I don't care."

You looked up, shocked by the intensity of his gaze. He looked angry and determined and desperate. He looked so, so sad.

"I'll fight for you," he said lowly, framing your face between his palms once again, "you've done nothing but think of others since the moment we met. Let me return the favor."

You felt warm. Warmer than you had in so long. Like the chill in the air left by the Akatsuki had been washed away by Kakashi's presence. You wanted to hold onto it for as long as possible.

Could you really go back after everything you'd done?

"I..."

You wanted too much. It felt selfish, but you were suddenly filled with desires that you hadn't dared to fully consider with Orochimaru's threats looming over you. With his mere existence making you fear any form of attachment.

You wanted to be with Sakura. You wanted to help Kakashi train and protect his students. You wanted to be able to feel this intoxicating warmth everyday.

"Please," he said again, and this time is felt less like a curse and more like a promise, "I need you to stay."

What about SHIELD? you wanted to ask, What about HYDRA? The Akatsuki? The kids?

But instead:

"Ok."

Just this once, in this moment, you would be selfish.

But as Kakashi deflated, sinking back into your arms and letting out a shaking breath, it didn't feel like selfishness at all.

It felt like freedom.

MEMORANDUM FOR

FROM: Agent Danzo Shimura

TO: Director Tsunade Senju

SUBJECT: Operation MASQUE

MISSION REPORT

On September 22, Agent DANZO SHIMURA received a tip from [REDACTED] regarding Agent KAKASHI HATAKE's contact with active HYDRA personnel. On September 23, Agent Shimura deployed a reconnaissance team to SHIELD COMPOUND 18 for confirmation. The reconnaissance team consisted of Agent GENMA SHIRANUI, Agent ASUMA SARUTOBI, and Agent KURENAI YŪHI. Agent Shiranui reports TARGET A (Y/N Y/L/N, Alias: BLACK WIDOW) being restrained in the medical wing, likely due to hostile behavior.

On September 27, Agent Shimura organization OPERATION MASQUE to infiltrate and detain the targets and escort Agent Hatake as well as trainees SAKURA HARUNO, NATURO UZUMAKI, and SASUKE UCHIHA for questioning. At 18:00, the Recon Team began the operation. Anticipating hostile behavior, Agent Sarutobi released an incapacitating toxin into the outpost's ventilation system and waited until all suspects had been effected. Agent Sarutobi entered the building at 18:15 and observed TARGET A and TARGET B (INO YAMANAKA, Alias: BLACK WIDOW) speaking in the left wing of the compound. Both targets then began carrying all of the buildings occupants (including trainee SHIKAMARU NARA, who has been cleared of suspicion) into Agent Hatake's bedroom. Agents Sarutobi, Shiranui, and Yūhi converged on the targets' location and forced entry into the room. All occupants had been incapacitated and were prepared for transport back to SHIELD Headquarters.

At 20:00, SHIELD's transport vehicle was forcefully stopped and raided by Red Room operatives. The unidentified individuals removed Targets A and B from SHIELD's vehicle and transferred them into an unregistered black van. Agents Yūhi and Shiranui continued to SHIELD headquarters to bring Agent Hatake and his trainees to safety, while Agent Sarutobi pursued the suspects to an inactive HYDRA base.

Following Agent Sarutobi's report on the targets' location, Director TSUNADE SENJU took over the operation and successfully detained Target A in the HYDRA base (see separate report for details). No suspicious HYDRA affiliates were found within the base. As of September 28, Target B is missing.

CONCLUSION

I, Agent Danzo Shimura, recommend an indefinite suspension of Agent Kakashi Hatake from duty and the immediate detention of Y/N Y/L/N, as well as the reassignment of Sakura Haruno, Naruto Uzumaki, and Sasuke Uchiha.

END MEMORANDUM

(previous chapter) | (next chapter - coming soon) | (series masterlist)

Author's note | thank you for reading! i promise y'all when i started this series i did not intend for the burn to be this slow. i PROMISE we're getting somewhere in that regard, and even though we're nearing the end of this series, i have so many ideas that i'm so excited about for more fics involving these characters so it will continue to burn (or just like,,,be on fire ig). i'll be taking a short break before i start writing again, but the sequel series will not take long to get going after i finish this one, so stay tuned!

i hope the amount of unanswered questions left from this part is exciting and makes you want to read more to see what's going on. if you find it takes away from the reading experience (or makes it better), please leave some thoughts! also, as always, any thoughts and feedback are more than welcome

i'd once again like to say thank you to everyone who has left me such wonderful comments and feedback. you guys are truly the reason i have continued writing this series (fun fact about me: this is the first series i've ever actually finished and have been excited about for this long). alongside the sequel series i have planned, i'd also like the write some one-shots that are more fluffy and light-hearted, so please send any requests for scenarios you want to see these characters in to my tumblr (linked below).

thank you to everyone who is still following this series. your patience astounds me. i feel like the time between each chapter has been getting longer, but i really want to be putting out quality storytelling and writing for you, and i don't have a beta so i get a bit perfectionistic about editing and stuff (even though i know it's not perfect).

anyways, that's all from me! i'll see you guys in the final chapter (although i know myself and the next chap might end up being so long-winded that i just split it into two, so we'll see). if you've read this far into the a/n you are my hero and i love you. please leave me some love if you enjoyed!

title is from "Bite the Hand" from boygenius

#kakashi #kakashi x reader #kakashi x you #kakashi imagine #kakashi hatake #kakashi hatake x reader #kakashi hatake x you #kakashi hatake x y/n #kakashi hatake imagine #naruto #trr #emwrites

25 notes · View notes

greatideas-badwriter · 5 months

Text

SasuSaku: Sacrificed To The Banished Prince Ch. 25-Mature Content Warning!

Sakura couldn’t sleep. Just a few hours ago, she and Sasuke almost took a very important step in their relationship. If Akuma hadn’t begun to take over the prince’s body, they definitely would’ve gone through with it. It was the way the Uchiha man had been more honest because of his slight fever that gave her the courage to face her fear. Now that his curse had successfully gained control, that charming sincerity was easy to forget. As a result, the anxiety had returned.

Akuma suddenly turned onto his side to cuddle the pinkette, running a hand up her back and into her hair, where he gently massaged her scalp. His deep voice hinted that he was acutely aware of her current state, “Flowers need rest or they’re susceptible to wilting.”

She closed her eyes and took a calming breath while enjoying the sensation, “Akuma….”

They were both quiet for a moment before the curse ceased his massage and grunted. He slid his arms around the princess and pulled her close so her back was pressed to his front. His face was buried in her hair as he grumbled almost begrudgingly, “You’re afraid of the prince.”

“No!” Sakura said quickly. “Sasuke would never hurt me. I know that. It’s just….”

Another long pause occurred. Eventually, Akuma broke it, “You’re concerned you won’t be able to withstand it.”

Tears welled in the woman’s eyes as she sniffled, pulling her husband’s hand from her stomach up to her face to study it in the dark room, “I want to make him happy, but I’m worried I won’t be able to overcome my memories.”

“A scarred goddess you may be, but a goddess you are, nonetheless.” Sakura closed her eyes when his large hand gently cupped her jaw, her lips pressing to his palm. Akuma whispered uncharacteristically comfortingly, his thumb brushing against her cheek, “A great demon such as myself needs no magic to confirm that idiot prince has unending patience for this princess.”

The pinkette allowed his words and gestures to calm her a bit. A bittersweet emotion flooded her heart as she realized the situation they were in. She nuzzled her face into his palm with a frown, earning a sound of approval from the demon. “I-I’m sorry, Akuma. This must be difficult for you.”

“You insult me, Pet,” he replied half-amusedly, “As if comforting a weeping damsel would burden something of my strength.”

Sakura had to remind herself then that Sasuke was able to hear and see all that occurred while Akuma was in control. She gritted her teeth and said nothing for a long time. Eventually, her overwhelmed mind had her lips moving again, “Of all the things I’ve attempted in my life, this is one thing I cannot fail. Sasuke deserves better than someone like me.”

The hand against her lips swiftly moved down to clasp firmly around her neck, not tight enough to cut off air flow but enough to shock her. “You will not utter such nonsense, understood?” She couldn’t respond because she was too surprised. The hand loosened when Akuma appeared to realize that, “The affections, much less the embrace, of something so pure is something of which I consider no being worthy.”

Warmth met Sakura’s face, her brow furrowing as she bashfully forced herself to be sincere, “A-Akuma…. Please give me advice. I’m scared.”

Suddenly, she was on her back, the demon glaring down at her with Sasuke’s handsome face, “You dare ask me to instruct you on how to please another man? I may have accepted my fate but don’t mistake that for complete surrender.” Before the woman could even come up with a reply, his expression mysteriously changed to one of realization, then he was changing his response, “Though, who am I to deny an ill-fated princess pleasure in her final days?”

‘What is going through his mind? Why did he change his mind so quickly?’

Confused, Sakura nodded.

Akuma lifted her chin to claim her gaze firmly, his tone low and sensual as though he was barely controlling himself, “Weaker demons would take advantage of this situation to claim you for themselves.” The blush on Sakura’s face heated further. She was too stunned to react. “If I offer physical instruction, you’ll endanger yourself, so words will have to suffice.”

“Okay….”

Awkwardly, the woman waited for him to begin giving her advice, only for him to smile and lay down at her side. She turns to face him, unsure of what was happening.

“There is no advice that pertains to every man and woman other than doing what feels pleasurable. Tell that idiot prince when you like or dislike something, and he’ll do the rest, I’m sure.”

‘He keeps getting upset and then calming down so quickly tonight. Is he alright?’

The air had obviously tensed, so the princess hesitantly asked, “Are you angry?”

Akuma’s eyes closed as he placed his hands behind his head, “Does the fact that I’m not the one with the privilege of exploring every inch of your skin leave me unsettled?” He needn’t answer such a question because the truth was evident.

Feeling guilty, somehow, Sakura turned onto her back, too, and tried to fall asleep once more. She wasn’t sure if she felt more reassured after that conversation or not. All she knew was that she was determined to be brave for her husband’s sake.

In the morning, Sakura awoke to a surprising sight. Sasuke was still asleep at her side. She was half-cuddled into his side, so she studied his relaxed face while she had the chance. Akuma almost always discarded the prince’s shirt, so his warm skin was bare. The softest hint of morning light slid through the curtains to provide vision enough to admire Sasuke’s beautiful body. The woman had never been comfortable with physical touch with anyone, much less men, but that was a fading fact the closer she became with the prince. He didn’t like it even more than her most of the time, but he’d never once pushed her away, even when it was obvious he wanted to.

‘He’s so considerate of me,’ she thought, eyes drifting down to his neck and shoulders.

Warmth and affection fluttered in the pit of her stomach. She appreciated everything he’d done for her since their meeting. Reminiscing in their time together reminded her of why she was willing to lay her life on the line for his happiness. Sasuke Uchiha was a wonderful person. He deserved the freedom he’d unfairly been denied all these years.

He suddenly groaned, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. His brow furrowed. With the hand not connected to the arm around Sakura, he reached up to rub his eyes. The fingers at the small of her back twitched as the man seemed to notice her presence. Then, he froze, slowly moving his fingers from his eyes to glance at her with tired eyes.

She nervously averted her gaze, lowering her head and tightening her hold around his waist while waiting for him to say something. ‘Will he be angry at me for asking Akuma for advice, or that I cuddled with him?’

Another groan left him moments later, and his hand ran up her back to hold her more firmly, “I’m not upset.”

Sakura cautiously lifted her head to meet his gaze. He seemed as awkward as usual, but he didn’t appear irritated in any way. His lips remained in a tense frown as he searched her face. “But….”

“Though it might not always be under my control, this body is still your husband’s. So long as certain lines aren’t crossed, I won’t blame you for needing attention.”

Sakura blushed, ‘I never thought I’d be someone who required affection, but he’s right. If Akuma wasn’t there to comfort me last night, I wouldn’t have gotten any sleep and might’ve even had a panic attack in my anxiety.’

She sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she mumbled nervously, “Just as you’ve corrected me, I can’t accept having rights to your body simply because we’re wed. If you’re uncomfortable, please don’t hesitate to tell me. I want to properly respect you.”

As though he responded on autopilot, barely a second could pass before the prince spoke, also sitting up so that the blanket fell to his hips and left his bare torso open to the cold air, “You’re not just my wife but my lover. The Demon’s advice wasn’t incorrect.” He rolled his neck, with a grimace before rubbing his shoulder almost shyly, avoiding Sakura’s wide-eyed gaze, “If there’s something you want or need, if it’s within my abilities, you’ll have it.”

‘I never expected him to be so direct!’ She also averted her gaze bashfully, “Likewise. If there’s anything I can do for you, please tell me.”

Things were a bit tense between the couple as they took turns bathing and freshening up before Sakura prepared a late breakfast. Then, after the meal, both appeared unsure of what to say or do.

The pinkette glanced between her husband’s rigid frame as he stoked the fireplace, the doorway to the bedroom, and the door to the cabin itself while trying to figure out how to ease the situation. She noticed the massive horse eating some hay in the stable outside and an idea popped into her head, “Um, Sasuke?”

He made an acknowledging sound without turning to look her way. “Shall we go for a ride to get some fresh air?”

That seemed to garner his full attention because he looked over his shoulder with a guarded expression. After searching her face for a moment, he nodded curtly, “Dress warmly.”

So, a while later, the duo was out in the stables. Sakura was still wary of the large beast and remained a step behind her husband as they approached it. When it noticed them, it didn’t hesitate to walk up to Sasuke, who smoothly ran a hand up its face to its neck, where he patted it almost affectionately. Sakura watched in awe as the man’s eyes softened while speaking quietly to the horse.

‘He likes horses, doesn’t he?’ Seeing him being gentle with an animal made her heart flutter. She studied the warmth in his expression, ‘Will he ever look at me like that? I think I’d melt if he did.’

“Don’t be afraid. Come here.”

The woman jumped in surprise, blushing at having been caught staring as she accepted Sasuke’s outreached hand and allowed him to guide her closer. Her fingers trembled as she cautiously touched the animal’s mane.

“His name is Shadow.”

A smile tugged at the pinkette’s lips as she gradually became more comfortable since Shadow seemed to enjoy her caresses, “...He seems so powerful.” To Sakura’s surprise, a chuckle met her ears. She looked at Sasuke’s face in confusion, blushing brightly when she saw he had a hand to his mouth to muffle the sound.

He shook his head moments later and forced his face to become passive again, “He’s essentially a big dog.” She was confused until he picked up some hay and offered it to the beast, who eagerly took it with a chuffing sound. “He’ll obey just about anyone who feeds him something tasty.”

The pair accidentally met gazes before looking away.

“Let’s get going, then,” the prince said without delay.

Sakura nodded, watching him expertly mount the horse. He then reached down to offer her a hand, caution evident in his dark eyes. Recalling how he’d kept her safe during their travels on the way to this cabin, she gave him her trust and allowed him to pull her up with stunning ease. The air left her lungs when her back brushed against his front. She tensed as the horse began walking out of the stable and into the snow-covered path leading into the woods surrounding the cabin.

At first, she struggled to remember how to relax her hips into the horse’s movements. That changed when a snow rabbit suddenly darted across the path they were galloping along on, causing Shadow to suddenly rear up onto his hind legs, neighing in surprise.

Sakura yelped, only for a strong arm to wrap around her middle, holding her firmly to her husband so that she wouldn’t fall off while the beast came back down and began trotting along again. Little puffs of clouds left both her and Sasuke’s mouths as they breathed heavily. The heat from his body was bleeding into her skin from between their clothes because of how close they were.

‘...He hasn’t let go.’ Indeed, his arm was around her middle, his hand gripping her opposite waist tightly as though he was concerned she’d faint if he moved an inch.

The only sound other than Shadow’s hoofs hitting the ground was their breathing. She prayed she wouldn’t make a fool of herself or panic as she recalled Akuma’s advice. ‘I’m scared, but it’s not the fear I’m used to. Do I…? Yes, I think I might like it when he holds me like this.’ Shivering with anxiety and cold, Sakura bravely forced her body to relax against Sasuke’s, a hand cupping his on her waist. His breath noticeably hitched, but neither said a word as the ride continued.

Sakura’s heart was pounding so loudly she was sure her husband could hear it. She felt small against his larger frame. It was as though she was a child compared to his muscular body. The fact was intimidating, but it also stirred something inside her she’d never felt. It was an almost anxious feeling but not so uncomfortable. She didn’t know how to identify it, but her body sure wanted her to do something about it. She just wasn’t sure what that was. A shiver ran down her spine as she realized she could feel every breath Sasuke made against her.

He evidently took that as her becoming too cold because he guided Shadow to turn around, “Let’s go back.”

A tiny sound of confirmation left her lips, but she couldn’t possibly form words in her bewildered state.

The entire ride back to the stables was silent. By the time they arrived, Sakura was nearly sweating. Sasuke climbed off the horse first, then turned to offer her a hand. She took it, unable to meet his gaze. Something, she didn’t know what, would happen if she did.

‘I should excuse myself to freshen up once we’re inside so I can calm down and catch my breath.’

That was the woman’s plan, but her legs nearly gave out when she tried to take a step toward the stable’s exit. An increasingly familiar, strong arm wrapped around her waist, turning her naturally toward its owner so her hands pressed against Sasuke’s chest. Their eyes met and the duo froze. The heat in Sakura’s entire body rose, only to flush down into the pit of her stomach. Without realizing what she was doing, the woman gently tugged on her husband’s shirt so he’d come closer. Then, the newlyweds were kissing.

It was soft, cautious, at first. Her eyes had closed on instinct, but they crept open when Sasuke pulled away a bit. The man searched her face with a serious expression as though waiting for her to reject him. When it didn’t happen, his eyes danced down to her lips and back up before he kissed her again, more deeply this time. Sasuke’s lips were soft and warm until Sakura felt a wet heat slip past her teeth.

‘Is that….Is that his tongue?!’

It was her first time kissing someone so deeply, but she didn’t outwardly panic and hesitantly allowed him to take the lead. A tiny squeak escaped from between them as the woman’s back hit the stable wall, Sasuke’s hand coming to cup her cheek as he angled his head to deepen the kiss even further. Her fingers clutched his shirt like her life depended on it as she did her best to reciprocate what he was doing. It was…hot, his tongue. The sensation of it swirling intimately with her own, not to mention the taste of his saliva, made Sakura’s knees weak once more.

Sasuke pulled back after a few moments, his lips moving against hers as they stared at one another through half-lidded eyes, “Are you alright?”

She kissed him with a flushed face, unable to get enough of his affection, “Mhm.”

A strange expression she didn’t recognize met his handsome features, and then he was picking her up like a princess and carrying her toward the cabin. She was startled, looking between his focused face and the nearing doorway. Her blood was rushing with anticipation.

Before she knew it, she was laying on her back amidst pillows and blankets spread out in front of the burning fireplace, Sasuke kissing her just as eagerly as he had outside. Her fingers trembled as she nervously released his shirt to flatten her palms to his chest. Sasuke was everywhere, everything. His heat chased away every bit of the cold along with the warmth of the fireplace. If it wasn’t his lips and tongue possessively moving amidst hers, it was the way his calloused fingers would brush against her cheek, her neck, her hands.

Never, not once, did he move swiftly or become too rough. Though it was only in the back of Sakura’s mind in her extremely preoccupied mind, she didn’t take for granted how concerned he was with scaring her. The prince was going at an extremely slow pace for her sake. He was giving her the constant ability to stop him.

Minutes of passionate kissing passed before the woman had to come up for air. Sasuke picked up on it and naturally dipped down to press slow, sensual kisses into her neck. He spoke between presses of his lips to her damp skin, “Go ahead.”

‘Is he able to read my mind or has he come to understand me so easily after all the time we’ve spent together?’

Sakura wasn’t sure about that, but she deemed it a question for later. Instead, she unbuttoned her husband’s shirt with fumbling fingers. Once it was entirely undone, he made short work of sliding it off his arms and tossing it aside before coming back down to reclaim her lips.

The heat in the pit of the woman’s stomach was gradually moving even lower, and she was clueless on what to do about that. Her legs squeezed together instinctually, a soft moan becoming lost between their mouths. Sasuke was usually a bit awkward, having to often ask for clarity on matters others might deem simple. Today, though, he seemed more confident than usual. The hand on her cheek left to grab hers and press it to his bare chest. He carefully slowed their kiss. Sakura’s eyes opened again as he slid his tongue from hers.

Both were breathing more heavily than usual. They said nothing as he put his weight on his knees so he could free his other hand. With the movement, the princess’s hand slid to his abdomen, her pulse skyrocketing further as she felt the muscles beneath his pale skin.

“I’ll undress you.”

Her eyes heatedly met his and she nodded, watching silently as Sasuke took his time unbuttoning her dress’s front. Though her confidence faltered, Sakura didn’t stop him and even aided him in slipping the garment off over her head. His eyes didn’t leave hers when he then unzipped her skirts and slid them down her legs. The unbearable heat in the woman’s loins faltered.

‘My scars! I forgot he’ll see them! Will he find me ugly because of them?’

To her confusion, the man didn’t even look at her body as he dipped down to give her a chaste kiss. He held himself up with one hand and used the other to guide her back into an arch so he could unhook her brassiere.

She bashfully averted her gaze with her hands on his shoulder. ‘I don’t want to see the disappointment on his face when he realizes how plain and unsightly my body is. It might just break my heart.’

The prince said nothing, but dipped down to press gentle kisses to her neck, her shoulder, down her chest, to her stomach where he reached up to cup one of her breasts. Sakura’s breath hitched and she looked down to see the prince’s heated gaze studying her slim figure. Now, the inexperienced woman had never willingly been in such a situation, but somehow she just knew what that expression meant. She blushed, bashfully reaching down to run her fingers through his hair. She shivered excitedly when his calloused hand gently squeezed her breast.

Soon, Sasuke sat back on his knees again, this time studying his wife’s face as he removed the remainder of her undergarments, parted her legs, and angled them around his hips. When he unbuttoned his own pants, the woman covered her face, “I-I’m afraid….”

The man stopped what he was doing. After a brief pause, he ran a hand up her hip to hold her waist. His voice was gentle in a way she’d only heard a few times before, “You’re safe. I promise.”

Tears welled in her eyes as she squeezed them closed. Her voice wavered, “Can I… Can I keep my eyes open? If I can’t see you, I can’t help but remember-” “Look at me.”

Sakura peeked between her fingers, to see him watching her patiently. He was entirely unclothed, but she didn’t dare look below his torso. She was much too intimidated by the situation. When she couldn’t bring herself to move, Sasuke carefully took her hands in his and moved them from her face before coming down to kiss her. He spoke between presses of his lips to hers, “Keep your eyes on me.”

Sakura’s terror melted with her husband’s kisses and small, reassuring remarks until he felt it was time to try continuing where they’d left off. While the Uchiha prince’s tongue flirted with the idea of slipping into her mouth again, he slid his hand from her waist downward, between her legs. A great shiver ran down her spine when she felt him hesitantly massage her most sensitive area. Dark eyes remained locked on hers the entire time.

He spoke against her lips as he began feeling about for a sweet spot, “This is also my first time willingly, so we’ll learn together, alright?”

The woman hadn’t known that. She nodded quickly, her back arching as a strange sensation arose from where he was touching. He pulled back a bit, glancing between them. Gently, he repeated what he’d done, making Sakura’s breath hitch and drawing his attention back to her reddening face.

A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. Some of the tension in his shoulders appeared to ease as his fingers moved more confidently, “Does that feel good?”

“I-I think so, yes,” Sakura mumbled, too scared to move or look away from his face.

“You’re wet,” he whispered into her skin, dipping down to kiss her chest.

The pinkette bit back some kind of sound that tried to escape her as the prince began focusing all his motions on that one spot that sent odd, exciting sensations up her body, “Is that bad?” She was embarrassed.

Sasuke made a negative sound, glancing up warmly, “It means that your body likes my body.” He continued what he was doing while gradually decreasing his hesitance. His low voice rumbled against Sakura’s skin as he explained, “If you aren’t wet, it hurts when you have sex.”

Without thinking, the woman began to ask, “Is that why it-!” She clamped her mouth shut, and the man ceased his actions. Her brow furrowed as she immediately began apologizing, “I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to-” “It’s fine.”

He kissed her with a serious frown, “As much as I wish this was your first experience, I can’t change history.” He kissed her again, “I’ll replace those memories with new ones, alright?”

Sakura nodded, cupping his cheek with watery eyes. He returned to what he was doing before until the mood had returned to how it was before her slip-up. Soon, he was pressed against her with studious eyes searching for any sign of trouble.

“I’ll try putting it in,” the prince said. One of his hands was on his wife’s lower abdomen while the other was between her legs so he could guide himself.

She still couldn’t bring herself to look away from his face and became tense with fear when she felt a terrifyingly familiar pressure against her entrance. Tears flooded her vision immediately, her teeth gritting. The prince stopped, causing her pulse to quicken in panic. She shook her head while blinking to clear her vision, “N-No, don’t stop.”

It took a moment for Sasuke to respond. When he did, he pressed inside only slightly more before coming down to wipe at his wife’s falling tears, “You don’t have to if you’re not ready.” Sakura leaned into one of his hands’ touch, “I want you to have my body. Please keep going.”

A warm sound rumbled from Sasuke’s chest. He took a deep breath, “Then open your eyes.” When he began pressing further into Sakura, his voice became forced, but he didn’t acknowledge it. Instead, he made the woman’s heart flutter by saying, “When you feel scared, say my name to remind yourself that it’s me, not him. As many times as you need.”

Feeling unsure, Sakura shakily asked, “Will you say my name back?”

‘When he talks, I feel a little calmer.’

The man kissed her with an affirming sound.

So, after taking a moment to gather themselves, Sasuke pulled back to slide himself the rest of the way inside. Sakura winced when she felt him press against her walls, ‘He’s bigger than Hihara was. It stings a little….’

The prince’s name left her lips as she reached for his shoulders again. Like an echo, Sasuke whispered hers right back. He intertwined their fingers on one hand, kissed the tip of her nose, and then began moving. His jaw flexed as he did.

For a bit, neither made much noise as they figured out how things worked and what felt good. It surprised Sakura, but the small ache faded rather quickly. What she thought she’d never enjoy after her terrible first encounter soon began to feel not-uncomfortable.

Her breath hitched when a cramped feeling met the small of her back. Sasuke released her hand to run his fingers down her chest to her waist, where he gripped. His gaze was warm and lustful, as was his voice as he breathed the words, “Relax you hips. Like when we’re riding Shadow.”

“Okay…!” She gasped while following his advice.

Then she lost control of her eyes. They traveled down her husband’s torso to his lower abdomen. Her stomach flipped as she watched his muscles flex as his hips ground into hers at a steady pace. She could feel him watching her and shyly met his gaze again.

‘I’m okay. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to do this, but I can, so long as it’s Sasuke.’

His jaw flexed, a small, attractive sound rumbling his chest. A rasp met his tone that was new, “Don’t squeeze like that if you want me to last.” Sakura gasped as she felt him twitch inside her, his tempo stuttering.

She blushed, “Sorry.”

He shook his head with a tiny smirk, coming down to kiss her over and over.

It wasn’t long before something unfamiliar began to happen to Sakura’s body. A tight, electric feeling began to coil in her lower regions. It’d flare with each thrust of Sasuke’s hips. By this point, both had a thin sheen of sweat coating their hot skin. Though her body clearly wanted to continue toward this new sensation, Sakura became unsure because it was something she’d never experienced before. Honestly, she wasn’t sure what it was. Her sexual knowledge was still very much lacking.

A tiny moan escaped her when Sasuke hit something inside her for the first time. Her back arched and her hands fumbled to grab onto whatever part of him she could, “S-Sasuke, that-!”

Sasuke allowed her to cling to him, looking between them with his forehead against her shoulder, “Stay relaxed, Sakura. Don’t tense up.” He breathed heavily when the woman naturally squeezed him again, “God, you’re close. I can feel it.”

The tightness heightened at the sound of his breathy voice, causing a louder moan to leave the woman. She released him, instead reaching up to hold handfuls of pillows. The Uchiha man’s eyes widened as he watched her back arch and her head fall back in pleasure. She whined in an unexpectedly sexual voice, her brow furrowed and eyes heavy-lidded, “Close? Close to what?”

‘He knows what’s about to happen? That means it’s okay, right? He wouldn’t keep going if it was a bad thing.’

A low moan left the prince’s lips. He held Sakura’s waist with both hands, pressed his hips more firmly against hers so her legs would part further, and settled into a better tempo with a face that said he was in for the long haul if need be.

Sakura had no idea what had come over her. Her body wasn’t obeying her, and sounds she’d never made were leaving her lips. One moment, she realized whatever was going to happen was seconds away, and then she was enveloped entirely with a heavenly pleasure she never imagined she’d feel. Hell, she wasn’t sure how the body could comprehend such a thing.

Sasuke let out a relieved sound, pressing into her fully and breathing heavily while bending over to study her face, “There you go. It feels good, doesn’t it?” He twitched and pulsed within her, but he didn’t stop trying to comfort her, “You’re okay. We did it.”

An odd, heated sensation pooled within her on the tail end of whatever brilliant thing was happening to her body. Finally, she was able to breathe again and panted for air, tears slowly rolling down the sides of her face to drip into her hair, “Sasu…ke….”

The tiniest hint of a smile met the prince’s lips and then he was kissing her again.

‘We actually did it.’

The reality of the situation suddenly hit Sakura and a sob got caught in her throat. Sasuke acted unsurprised and freed her lips to kiss her forehead, brushing sweaty strands of pink hair from his wife’s face. All she could do was hug him and repeat the words “Thank you,” over and over.

#naruto #naruto fanfiction #narutofanfiction #sakura #narutofanfic #sakura uchiha #haruno sakura #naruto shippuden #sakura haruno #naruto shippuden fanfiction #sasusaku fic #sasusaku fanfiction #uchiha sasuke #sasuke #sasusaku #sasuke uchiha #sasuke x sakura

15 notes · View notes

abby-the-druid · 2 months

Text

Fatherhood

For ssmonth2024, day one, 'Start of everything'

“Do you want to hold her?”

Sasuke swallowed, mismatched eyes wider than she had ever seen them, and fear was plainly splashed across his face. He shook his head; it was the only movement he had given since the labor started eighteen hours ago.

Sakura’s pink brows furrowed, still sticky from the sweat of her labor. Sarada, pink and damp, lay against Sakura’s chest, black eyes blurry and dark hair still wet.

“Sasuke-kun?” Sakura whispered softly, biting down on her lip. She was bone tired, exhausted to her very core, in pain even with the healing Karin provided and her own. “Do…” her seafoam green eyes shifted to the infant in her arms. She tried to hold back the sob that shuddered through her. “Do you not want this?”

do you not want me?

did you change your mind?

have you decided we are not worth it?

that I am not worth it?

In an instant, Sakura felt, maybe for the first time in her entire life, that loving Sasuke was a mistake. The way he was looking at her, obviously terrified, made Sakura wish he had plunged his Chidori laced hand through her heart all those years ago.

Maybe it would have been easier that way.

She watched as the baby in her arms gurgled, the smallest most perfect hands she had ever seen gripped unknowingly at her skin.

He didn’t speak, and Sakura felt her heart -which had swelled so large and proudly at the birth of her daughter, their daughter only minutes ago- shattered in her ribcage, shrapnel impaling into the soft tissue of her lungs.

“You don’t have to stay, Sasuke-kun.” She squeezed her eyes closed, willed tears not to run down her cheeks, and held Sarada as closely as she could. “I didn't – I’m sorry – I thought –”

“Sakura,” she hadn’t realized the tears had escaped the confines of her lashes until a warm, gentle hand brushed them away from her cheek. She opened her eyes to see that Sasuke had knelt down, elbow resting on the side of the makeshift bed, so that he was eye level with her. “You misunderstand me.”

He brushed damp pink hair away from her face, hand coming to rest on the back of her neck, and pulled her closer until their foreheads were touching and she couldn’t look anywhere except into his eyes.

“I’m…” he inhaled, mouth contorting into a pseudo frown. “I’m so fucking happy.” It was gossamer thin and for the first time in eighteen hours, Sakura was glad that they were wrapped in the quiet silence of Orochimaru’s base instead of the noisy hospital she presided over.

Sakura’s breath caught in her chest and a lump jumped to her throat.

“I-I never – I thought I was going to die after facing Itatchi. I had accepted that.” He swallowed thickly, and Sakura was surprised to see water gathering on his lash line. “I didn’t think I could have this. I don't deserve to have this after everything I’ve done.”

He looked down at Sarada, and the water in his eyes dripped onto his pale skin. “She’s so fucking perfect, and you’re so fucking perfect. I-I can’t hold her because if I do, I’ll ruin her.”

“Sasuke-kun, you-”

“You spent so long making her and dealt with the pain and sickness… what if I hurt her? What if I drop her? What if-”

She cupped his cheek, thumbed a tear from his face, and gave him a tentative smile. “Take off your shirt.”

He flinched at the comment, pulling his forehead away from hers as his dark brows knit together. “Wh-”

“Hush,” Sakura admonished gently, and then repeated. “Take off your shirt.”

He looked at her skeptically but obeyed, removing the article of clothing, and then stood there awkwardly.

“Come here,” she gently shifted in the bed, mindful of both Sarada and her pain. “Lean back.” he was leaning against the scratchy pillows, and ever so tenderly, Sakura scooped Sarada up, and placed her on her father’s chest. Instinctively, Sasuke’s arm cradled the infant to anchor her to him.

“Sak-”

“Hush,” she hummed at him, he was clearly still terrified, skin incredibly pale save for the dusting of pink on his cheeks, eyes wide. “Skin to skin contact is good for the baby and the parent.”

She watched him as he watched Sarada, and the shattered pieces of her heart instantly mended.

“She’s so warm,” he whispered and so, so softly nuzzled the tip of his nose into Sarada’s hair. At his touch the infant mewled contentedly, small hands gently tightening and releasing against his skin. And then, he was crying again. “Sakura,” mismatched eyes sought her out. “She’s so fucking perfect.”

All she could do, repaired heart bursting with so much love, was nod at him with a watery smile.

#naruto #sakura haruno #sasuke uchiha #sarada uchiha #sasuke x sakura #sasusaku #otp #my boy #my beloved #fanfic #my art #fanfiction #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ssmonth24 #day one #start of everything

15 notes · View notes

eiloveir · 3 months

Text

characters: uchiha brothers, haruno sakura

warnings: this is poorly done (it was rushed) and includes mentions of death, illness, and similar topics.

a/n: as mentioned, this was hastily completed and lacks emotional depth. it’s also a modern au. I was inspired while listening to music and intend to compile a masterlist using song prompts I’ve come across.

The lights’ sharp glare peaked through the eerie silence, intensifying the almost oppressive atmosphere in the hospital room. A faint buzzing from healthcare devices became an ominous signal of the volatile state in which life exists and at some point ends. Sasuke battled the omnipresent fear that threatened to consume him, standing motionless in front of the door with his hand shaking violently.

Sakura’s heart broke to see her husband struggling, and watched him with a worried expression on her face. She was aware that Sasuke’s emotion-filled stoicism was collapsing beneath it, and she hoped she could take on some of his suffering.

“Sasuke, do you-”

Sakura couldn’t say anything when Sasuke suddenly shoved open the door. His face was unreadable and austere—scarcely masking what he was fighting inside. He, then, met his brother’s eyes which had once been lively and alive but had since darkened due to disease and the thought of death’s nearness.

The truth of their situation was beginning to consume Sasuke’s being, and he could no longer stand to stare at him any longer. He stood there, struggling with the pain churning in the pit of his stomach, and the room felt smaller, more repressive.

Despite the despair, Sakura forced a modest smile and idly expressed her support by holding onto her husband’s arm. She had taken care of Itachi as a patient and directly seeing the effects of his condition. She was very sad for the man who had only become her brother-in-law. A beloved member of their family that was disappearing right before their eyes.

With his poise slipping in the face of reality, Sasuke made his way to sit next to his brother’s bed. “Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Sasuke’s words were tinted with left out distress, and his voice was raspy. “We could have done something. Anything…”

Itachi listened quietly, comprehension could be seen in his eyes. He knew all too well that even if he said anything, his illness would still take its toll. His eyes softened as he expressed gratitude. “Sasuke... Sakura, I am content with the future and didn’t want to burden you with this.”

Sakura gave him a tearful frown. She felt exactly the same as Sasuke did—after all, he was her patient and brother-in-law. She wept alongside her husband as she watched him go to pieces. She was frightened of losing Itachi as well. She was aware that he wouldn’t last much longer because of the telltale indicators, which included his frailty, weariness, and need for sleep. All indicators indicate lung cancer in its late stage. Hope was completely lost.

“It wouldn’t have ended up like this,” Sasuke’s voice trembled, tears welling in his eyes as he reached out to grasp Itachi’s hand. “Aren’t you afraid?”

With a soft laugh that rang throughout the room, Itachi was able to chuckle somewhat. Speaking in a scarcely audible voice, he reassured Sasuke, “I’m not... afraid.” For a minute, in the midst of the storm, he closed his eyes and felt calm. “However, tell me, was I a good brother to you?”

“More than words can say.” Sasuke’s breath froze in his throat as memories of their brotherhood rushed through his mind.

“That makes me feel better about leaving this world then...” Itachi whispered, causing Sasuke to sob and clutch his hand hard before placing his head on the side of his death bed. “It pains me deeply to witness you like this as I am on the verge of leaving.” Itachi said. His brother’s outbursts made him sincerely miserable. But what is he capable of doing? He felt so weak that he couldn’t say a word without hurting his throat.

“The one thing I will regret is not being able to see my niece.” Itachi sighed, stealing a glance at the married couple.

Tears streamed down Sakura’s face as she turned her gaze away from the scene. An agony she could hardly stand throbbed in her heart. She thought back to the time she had told Itachi that she was pregnant with his brother’s child.

“I’m pleased Sakura informed me,” Itachi muttered. “I was very happy to hear it. I thought I could finally fulfill my dream of becoming an uncle. But I guess, it wasn’t destined to happen.”

“You will make it home.” Sasuke said with an assured tone and he glanced at his wife to get her approval. Sakura met his mournful gaze with a sidelong glance that made his heartbreak even more intense.

“I’ve come to terms with it,” Itachi said, letting out a quick exhale and closing his eyes. With his last strength weighing on every syllable, he added, “There’s something I’d like to ask,” his voice was above a whisper. Sasuke and Sakura drew closer to listen intently to everything he had to say.

“Your child,” he said, his gaze moving between them, “I believe... she will be a girl.” His voice trembled, a hope running through his words. Itachi’s eyes softened as he spoke about a future he knew he would not be a part of.

Sasuke looked at Sakura, and she nodded.

“In that case,” Itachi said, his voice practically a whisper, “may I... name her?”

The couple glanced at him, and in response, Sakura tapped his husband’s shoulder to signal her approval of his brother’s request. “Yes, Itachi. You can name her.”

“Sarada... That name.” Itachi managed to mumble, his voice strained and barely audible over the beeping of the medical devices.

Following with the response, Itachi’s body shook from the strain of speaking, his power growing less by the second. Deep lines of pain carved his face, his features twisted in silent suffering as he struggled to free himself from the crippling hold of his disease.

With tears running down his face, Sasuke feels like his heart has been squeezed as he held Itachi’s waning hand. “Itachi,” his voice cracking with grief. “Hold on, please...”

His brother’s strength fluctuated as his body trembled—he let out a strained breath. His face, pale and drawn with pain, his eyelids drifting closed. Itachi mustered his final strength in that moment as he whispered, “We’ll meet again.”

It felt as though the entire room had stopped breathing at that time. The cardiac monitor’s consistent beeping, which is opposed to the sudden drone that shattered the silence—the noise rippled throughout the room, pulling Sasuke and Sakura out of their slumber. It was a very unsettling goodbye note, an ugly reminder of how short life is and that Itachi’s soul would eventually pass on to the hereafter.

#itachi uchiha #uchiha #sasuke uchiha #uchiha itachi #uchiha sasuke #uchiha sarada #sarada #uchiha sakura #haruno sakura #naruto #Spotify

7 notes · View notes

rolesplay · 4 months

Text

・┆✦GHOST STORIES — a haruno sakura/uchiha sasuke fanfic.

Her name was written in the memorial, her body laid to rest in the ground. Yet still she wouldn't leave. Couldn't leave.

It was a scene that should have happened years ago, at the hospital roof when they were younger. But their sensei, Kakashi Hatake, was there and stopped it just in time. The circumstances was different now, however.

They've grown up. All of them. Naruto had matured, earned more friends as years passed. Sasuke got stronger, and along it his hatred too. She too. No longer was she that young, lovesick twelve-year old little girl who lacks self-confidence.

And they weren't even in the hospital roof.

Sasuke had killed Danzou through one of his teammates and injured her much (was this really the boy who jumped in front of Naruto to save him from inevitable attacks or got very, very mad because he saw Sakura hurt badly?). Sakura decided to heal her, as Naruto fought the stubborn, revenge-obsessed boy while trying to reason with him.

She cried. She cried as she healed the redheaded girl that was now Sasuke's teammate. And when the girl was fully healed, she stood up, and went back where Sasuke and Naruto was fighting.

She saw it: chidori and rasengan. She thought: someone would definitely die.

She screamed. And ran. Ran and jumped between them.

The two saw, but the impact was something inevitable. They were running. The horrified look at Naruto's face, and the flicker of unsure in Sasuke's. It was all too fast.

A chidori through her chest, and a rasengan to her back.

And she smiled.

She stopped them. She had managed to do so.

"SAKURA-CHAN!"

She'll even bet that they'll stop fighting, even for awhile.

Sasuke slowly, slowly, pulled his hand away. Blood. There was blood.

"Sakura..."

How funny, this was her last thoughts before she actually died, that the boy who turned her down every time she gave him her heart, again and again, would be the one to literally pierce her beating heart. That the boy so close to her heart would be the reason for the gaping, painful hole in her back. That the boys—her boys, the ones who would protect her no matter what when they were younger—would be the reason for her death.

She smiled.

I love you.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

She didn't know how or what happened exactly. First she died, and then light and then she spent sometime on a road, and as she walked on realized her memories were being reenacted. And she wished, she hoped very, very hard to not stay here. She didn't want to see her life again. If she's moving on, she can't have second thoughts on wanting to stay. Another blinding light.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

When she opened her eyes, she was in his room at the prison cells. He was reading a scroll.

Her wish was ungranted, it seemed. That stupid light just threw her back to the world of the living.

She snorted as she crossed her arms in front of her, walking behind him and looking at the scroll. "Training, even here? Whatever am I gonna do with you?"

She saw him flinch, and her eyes widened a bit.

"S-Sasuke-kun? Can you hear me?"

He shifted in his position, making it seem like he was pouring more attention to what he was reading.

She sighed. "Of course you don't. I'm betting you can't see me either."

His back was too straight, his body too stiff.

She wanted so badly to touch him reassuringly.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

Sometimes she's there, sometimes she's not. It was rather disorienting.

But when he was finally released, still under probation, she went with him to his new apartment (it was the Council who picked it—good God, those people).

She noticed he paused and left the door open, and she mused that maybe it's to let her in. She's dead, and pretty much invisible, so musing about such couldn't hurt anyone, could it? (Except her, but that's fine, wasn't it? She's a ghost.)

"Well, the size is pretty much like Naruto's, huh?" she mumbled as she stepped inside.

When she was already safely inside, he had just managed to take off his sandals. He turned around, made a sound of annoyance because he noticed the door ajar, closed the door, and quickly strode across the room to another nearby door.

She looked on at the door he disappeared to sadly.

She decided she hated doors. They always knew—always remembered—how to close.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

There were times, when he visited the Uchiha clan house, and he would train at the backyard.

She would be there.

She would talk, about what happened when he was gone, about how she trained and hoped and waited, about the chūnin exams she retook, about Naruto leaving with Jiraiya.

She pretended he listened, somehow, that in some weird, weird way he could hear her.

"It's funny, isn't it? We all got trained under them Legendary Sannins. You under Orochimaru, Naruto under Jiraiya and me with shishuo."

She looked at him as he took a shuriken and threw it away, bending its path phenomenally.

"Team Seven, trained by the Copy-nin Kakashi Hatake. And then under the Legendary Sannins."

He threw a whole bunch of kunai this time, hitting all the targets at almost the same time.

"Do you think, we could've become legends too? I mean, it wouldn't be bad, would it?"

He stopped on his training, and stared down at the sword in his hand.

"Legends, huh," he mumbled rather audibly.

It was all Sakura could do not to gasp. She closed her eyes, scared to open them again because she's scared that he'd see her and then what would she do?

She only opened them again when the sound of pierced wood started again.

He never looked at her.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

Sometimes, she would go with him when he goes around the town, ANBU nimbly following them—well, him—and people looking on in fear.

At those times he would usually end up on the bridge—the meeting place of Team Seven. He would just stand there, as if waiting for something that never comes.

It was when he would hold on to the wooden rails of the bridge and stare in the water or the sun that she would find herself beside him. She's only a few centimeters—millimeters, even—away, almostbut not touching.

She just can't bear the thought of her hand, her figure, her all, slipping through him.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

Once, when she was in that world, he met a young man who looked a lot like Sasuke.

"You're dead," she blurted out.

Itachi merely inclined his head. "I thought you already knew that. After all, you are the Hokage's apprentice, aren't you?"

Sakura sighed. "I knew, I just... Why are you here? In this..." She gestured around. She wanted to call it her own personal hell but then what if it wasn't? "...purgatory...?"

An eyebrow rose. "You think this is purgatory?"

"I'm obviously not in the afterlife yet."

He chuckled. "You are right. Smart," he nodded in approval. "Just like a kunoichi should be."

"Not anymore..."

"But once a kunoichi, always one, right?"

She shrugged.

She should be angry with him—what he did to Sasuke and the rest of their clan was not nice. But what's the use of being angry with a person who's dead? Especially if the other party was also dead?

"I'm here to tell you what happened."

Her head snapped up, and she stared blankly at him.

She listened as the former ANBU relayed the tragic, tragic story of what was once an amazing clan which brought about its own destruction. The story of the boy who grew up too fast, the boy who gave up everything for his brother and village.

Sakura cried. For him and for his family and for his brother and for his—their—village.

When she recovered, he told her that she should stop him if his brother tried anything foolish.

"He listens to you," he said.

She replied, "he never does. Did. Whatever."

"Then why did he hesitate?" he asked, before leaving her alone again.

The image of Sasuke, taking his time to tell her thank you before he left when he could just walk away and leave her popped in on her mind.

Of his eyes before she died.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

It is during nighttime that she feels useless.

He would thrash about sometimes, shouting, calling his Mom, Dad, his brother. Sometimes, even her name. Why...? It would always be what he asked.

She would call his name listlessly.

It is during this time he would open his eyes and stare at her directly, and she would be at loss on what to do.

Sometimes he would even reach for her.

It takes all her willpower not to reach back.

Instead, when he's calmed down, she would lie down beside him and tell him the stories of the dead people she's met so far.

Stories of his ANBU brother ("He really, really loved you, you know?"), of Naruto's mom ("She's really close to your mom too. Kushina-sama actually considered Mikoto-san as a close friend.") of Dan-san ("You know when they say, 'Til death do us part'? I don't think Dan-san... well, he's still there, somehow. Watching over her.") and of Akasuna no Sasori ("I still can't believe I met him again. His sense of humor sucked big time, and he was a killer; but I'm glad all the same. I'm happy he found peace.").

She wondered when her fifth person would come.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

She doesn't remember ever feeling this mad.

"I didn't die just so you could leave again!" she screamed. She felt frustrated and mad.

She was about to punch him, punch some sense into him, when he caught it.

He caught it.

Sasuke caught it.

Sasuke caught her fist, her hand.

For awhile she just stared at him.

She could feel him. It didn't make any sense.

"You... You see me."

She was flabbergasted. Shocked. Surprised.

"I always do," he replied as he slowly put down her hands. He didn't let go though.

"But I'm... But you... How..."

She took a deep breath, tried to make a coherent thought. She stared at him. "Why didn't you tell me though?" She asked softly. "You could've spoken to me."

She heard him mumble something in reply, but it was only the word hurt that she caught.

"I'm strong, you know," she smiled even when her heart was breaking (again) and tears were falling down her eyes (mentally, her medic side was wondering how it was possible, but then again she had been crying since she met different people in that limbo). "I would've coped."

He stared at her calculatingly, as if sizing up what she said. And then slowly, carefully: "I meant me. I... I killed you, Sakura."

Her eyes softened at his confession, and it was only then she realized she was bracing for another goodbye, not an apology or a confession.

He looked around, as if searching for anyone who might see them, and looked at her. "I can't stay here." He gulped. "I'd always... I'd always thought I would, you know."

She blinked.

"I always thought I'd come back..."

"Sasuke-kun..."

"And then my brother... And I swore I'd never come back. I was so angry, Sakura. But when I killed you, when I killed you..."

I love you.

"I couldn't believe you'd..."

"You couldn't believe?" She glared at him. "What? You think that confession I gave you years ago at this very same place was a joke?"

"We were twelve."

"Yes and I'm dead now and I'm still in love with you!"

Her confession both made them stand stock still, and all they could do is stare at each other. Somewhere in her befuddled mind, she thought: Everything comes full circle. Because here they are, at the gates of Konoha again, with him trying to leave and her pleading him to stay with a love confession thrown in with it.

"I hate this," she was crying loudly this time. "I want to hate you so bad but I love you still. And I hate that! I hate that! I hate that when I cry, it's always got to do with you! That I worry even though you wanted to kill me! That every time I look into a new moon, all I could think of is that night and you! It's always you!"

"Sakura..."

"I'm sorry... Sasuke-kun, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"I cared, you know."

She stared wide eyed at him. The tears still fell, there was no helping it.

"The first time... That first time I saw you cry during our mission at Wave... I didn't know what to do. I was alone for so long I didn't know what it was like for someone to cry for me. And Kakashi was so adamant in teamwork that you grew on me. Every time I saw you cry over me..."

"Sasuke-kun."

"You were precious to me, Sakura. One of the few people I cared for. When I went berserk because of the mark, it wasn't just because of it. I was angry too. You were my teammate, and I cared for you. And yet, when I saw you cry then, my anger dissipated... Your tears... Your tears always make me hesitate. You always make me hesitate. And I think, had I stayed, I'd have stayed with you."

"Sas—"

"Sakura," he said rather forcefully, probably to tell her to listen. "I... I wasn't very good at it. But I... I did love you. I still do."

A moment of silence passed, and she just went on staring at him.

He blinked, trying perhaps to shake the uneasiness he felt. "I want you to come with me this time, Sakura."

And then she felt it: the small tingles beginning from her toes and the edges of her fingers. She realized then, that he was her fifth person. She couldn't let go because of him.

She smiled. "I'm sorry Sasuke-kun. But I can't."

"What? But—"

She leaned up, hands on both sides of his face. He fidgeted, clearly not used to such contact.

"I'm a ghost, Sasuke-kun. Just an echo of who I once was. I can't go with you," she pursed her lips, trying to tell him everything she can—her time was running short. "But I love you too, Sasuke-kun. I think you know that already though. I'd love you in this life—and the next." She pressed a kiss on his lips, and as she moved away from him gave him a gentle poke on the forehead with her pointer and middle fingers. "See you next time, but don't hurry on getting on that next time, you still have a clan to rebuild."

And she was gone, just like that.

#2017 #sasusaku #uchiha sasuke #haruno sakura #naruto #fanfic

7 notes · View notes

dianapana · 1 year

Text

SH Day 1 – Waiting for you – Right person wrong time

Hellos, I am once again back from the dead. I wrote this day a bit in advance, but for the rest of them I may be a bit slow. I'll still try my best! Have a wonderful SH month Everyone!

~Love Dia.

TW: Unfulfiled love

“Was it a bad day?”

Hinata’s hand extended to tuck some of his bangs behind his ear. His face is red and sweaty, hair sticking to it. He’s beyond drunk. The owner of the bar contacted her asking for someone to come retrieve the buzzed gentleman.

But Sasuke does not wish to leave yet.

So here she is, an unsuspected Wednesday night having a drink with him too.

“You could say so”

Muttering, his head barely held up by his hand on his cheek. Eyes closed.

“Work related?”

Sasuke is a private detective. So even when he does have bad workdays, he can never truly vent to her. He has way too many signed NDAs for that. A simple nod from the man tells her that there will be no further questions from her.

Moving her stool a bit closer to his. Caressing his back softly, guiding his head onto her shoulder. She can’t give him more comfort that this. Letting him know she’s there. That’s who they are, who they’ve always been since university when they met through some common friends.

Friends, best friends, the closest of friends.

“Come. Let’s go. I’ll take you to my place.”

Probably he does not want to be alone for today.

Sasuke stumbling to sit up. “Won’t that be an issue?”

A genuine and reasonable question. Her boyfriend has made a few comments about her friendship with Sasuke, shown jealousy. Tiny frown on her lips.

“It’s alright. He won’t” shaking her head vehemently. She’s unsure but won’t think about it now.

It hurts that now there are such questions that need to be asked when they used to simply show up at each other’s place without a second guess. She could take him to his place, knows his pin code, has a key to it. But…

Hinata is preparing breakfast for both of them, Sasuke probably still asleep in the bed, or if he is awake he’s dealing with a huge hangover. She did leave some ibuprofen and water on the nightstand for him.

As she pours the egg mixture in the pan to make some scrambled eggs, she can hear the shower running. So, he’s awake.

“How are you feeling? You were quite drunk yesterday.”

He’s putting a white t-shirt on, already has on sweatpants. Yes, he has multiple clothing items at her place.

“I feel oddly fine.” His head is killing him, Hinata looks at him with a knowing gaze. She remembers how badly he reacts to alcohol the next day, have seen it all in university. He too knows how she acts when drunk.

They’ve both seen each other at their highest, were there holding the other’s hand when they got their dream job, got the scholarship money they needed and so on. But they were there just the same when they were at their low, failed grades, evictions from dorm rooms due to some fights with roommates.

But most importantly, they were there at each other’s lowest. When Neji was killed in an accident by a drunk driver, when Sasuke’s father almost lost his life on duty as a police officer.

No matter how many partners either of them went through, Hinata is still his emergency contact, she’s the one his phone calls automatically when pressing the unlock button three times.

“Here; have some food. It may help”

Hinata is a high school English and art teacher, thankfully her university roommate Sakura also works at the school as the nurse so they always eat lunch together.

Today Sakura seems to be flinching and acting odd, she opens up her mouth multiple times but does not say anything. Hinata observes and lets it go for a while, but even her patience does not last forever.

“What’s wrong?”

Green uncertain eyes looking at her.

“I’m not supposed to tell you this.”

???? “Umm…ok?” confused, but if Sakura can’t tell her, who is she to insist.

“But I feel like I should!” Frustrated hand through pink hair.

“I’ll tell you. But you can’t blame me for ruining the surprise, ok? I just…I just feel like you should know…”

“Umm…ok” Same answer as before. Hinata’s anxiety raising too. What could Sakura know that is tormenting her so?

“Ok.” Multiple nods. “Here it goes.

…

Kiba is going to ask you to marry him.” Whisper-scream from the woman and then she covers her mouth, as if she cannot believe herself the words she just let out, somewhat regretting having told Hinata.

Her own heart beating at a rate that is truly scary. She’s happy, of course she is. She loves him, why else would she be dating him? But…but there’s still a tiny part of her that feels…sad.

“That’s amazing” Finally answering the secret. Putting her sadness away. She’ll deal with it at another time.

Hand over her heart. “That’s amazing”

Sakura’s shoulders relax. “It is! I just- I know that…”

But she doesn’t say anything after. There’s no need for her to. Hinata knows what she means. They talk about it more. Hinata asks her how she knew, Sakura tells her how Kiba ask her to take Hinata to get her nails done by the end of the month, and that she knows what that means. That she told him congratulation and he blushed shyly but proudly.

Home at the end of her day, eyes closed as she lays in bed. The room still smells of booze a bit, but mostly it smells of Sasuke.

She can’t help but think of their university days. Their last year, when she finally became aware of her feelings for him. When she’d look at him for seconds too long, think of him even when he was not there.

How one time when it was just them, when her head was resting on his shoulder she almost reached over to hold his hand. But fear is a much stronger feeling for her than love ever was. She feared rejection, feared ruining their 4 year long friendship.

They’ve also each dated multiple people throughout their friendship, how there was almost never a time period in which both of them were single. That each time she almost got the courage to do something she’d cower in fear. So, she just waited. Waiting for him to give her a signal, waiting for him to make a move. And it just never happened.

She was still waiting until 2 years ago when she met Kiba, when she started dating him casually, but now…now he’s the one she calls first after a hard day. He’s the one she thinks about the most.

Hands covering her face. Fading unfulfilled love is not what she thought her and Sasuke would turn into.

Hinata is melancholic and thinks about all of their interactions for the following few days. So when Sasuke calls her, asking her to come over she still has all those thoughts into her mind.

Arms around him the moment the door opens. Sasuke taken aback, chuckling. Asking ‘Did you miss me that much’ jokingly. But when she doesn’t reply his heart rate spikes up, pushing her slightly to look at her face, a few unshed tears into her eyes.

“Hinata? What’s wrong?” Cubbing her cheek, wiping her tear away with his thumb.

Her eyes closed, heart heavy and confused. Fear makes her fingertips numb, but she cannot back down now, she needs to know, it’s important. She cannot answer Kiba’s question with a truthful and enthusiastic ‘yes’ unless they talk about this, unless they move on.

“I loved you” Her words echoing into the hallway. A moment of silence that urges her to open her eyes and look up at him, he has a sad smile on his lips.

“I know. I loved you too”

Her whole body is tingling, shocked. “What?”

Sasuke caresses her hair and pulls her into a hug.

“I didn’t know all along. I suspected at times, but then you’d turn around and do things that made me believe I was a narcissist for thinking you might feel the same. I was waiting for you to say or do something, tell me I wasn’t wrong.

But time went on and…well…”

Her mouth wide open, fist clenched, and she hit his shoulder. “I was waiting for YOU!”

More frustrated with both of them than anything else.

“By the time I realized that perhaps my feelings were indeed reciprocated, so many things happened, so much time passed and it felt like a shame…to change”

Looking at him somewhat in disbelief.

“Kiba asked me to marry him” He didn’t yet but that’s just details. “I said yes” she didn’t yet but she will.

Sasuke’s smile dims a bit, but he hugs and congratulates her nevertheless.

They remain in a hug for a long time before she breaks the silence.

“We both said loved. In the past”

“I still love you, but it is different now…”

Small nod. She agrees. She feels the same. The feelings faded in time, no longer having a romantic aspect to them.

They both waited for each other, but the wait was just too long

@sasuhinamonth

#hinata #sasuke #sasuhinamonth #sasuhina #sasuhinafanfic #sh #shmonth #shmonth2023 #sasuhinamonth2023 #fanfic #day1 #waiting for you #unfulfilledlove #oneshot #sasuke uchiha #hinata hyuuha

21 notes · View notes

sneezemonster15 · 2 years

Note

Hi! What do you think about this?

Is it true? Or ss shippers spread lies as always?

Hi.

It is legit. And he isn't wrong. However, Sakura is not really the heroine in this story, Sasuke is. One of the anime's directors also said this btw, lol. It's very hard to not see it. But Kishi obviously cannot say that in his interviews. He can't openly talk about the gay love story that he wrote in shounen. Sakura is a girl in the same age bracket and in the same team and she is used as a plot device to develop Sasuke and Naruto's dynamic. So she is given the epithet of heroine when the truth is that Sasuke gets all the tropes and visual imagery that a heroine gets in a love story. Naruto and Shippuden are love stories. And that's just a fact.

Kishimoto also said that he wrote team seven as a love triangle. SS think that Sakura is the centre of this love triangle when the very evident truth is that it's actually Sasuke. Lol. But they just conveniently skip anything that does not act in their favor, they are cute like that. They twist everything in the manga to suit their insane theories and when that doesn't work, they use novels.

Anyway, the excerpt of the interview you shared doesn't really speak in favor of SS. All Kishi is saying is that he felt embarrassed writing that scene. Honestly, Sakura WAS very cringe in that scene. She is obviously a fangirl, always was. She rebukes Sasuke because he doesn't share a single word with her, doesn't tell her anything. I find it very funny when people hype up team seven dynamic when one of the members doesn't even willingly talk with the other but is always ears for the third one ie Naruto. I don't know what makes SS feel so proud because the truth is Sasuke doesn't show a willingness to talk to Sakura at all. It's Always Sakura who tries to get his attention or get in close physical proximity with him.

Regardless, at first Sakura does seem like she is handling it maturely, without trying to manipulate him.

She is right when she says revenge in itself won't bring Sasuke happiness. Sasuke also understands this, and it thaws him a little towards Sakura. Which is why he relents and explains in more words than he has ever said to her, that his goals are central to his existence and he must do everything to make them materialize.

Kishimoto deliberately makes it cringe after this though. Sakura keeps talking about Sasuke as if they were a couple. Sakura says - "Revenge won't bring anyone happiness, neither you Sasuke, nor me."

Lol. How exactly does she figure what she feels is important to Sasuke when he doesn't even talk with her? Lol. Why and where does she think she fits in this whole equation? Sasuke is right, him wanting to avenge his clan has nothing to do with Sakura. Or Naruto. Or Kakashi. So why does she think it would matter to Sasuke how she feels about it? And so he tries to explain it to her because he is a kind boy and doesn't deliberately want to hurt her feelings for no reason.

But she really makes it worse after this, by making it all about herself.

She compares her loneliness, she who has parents, friends, and teachers to care for her, with Sasuke's loneliness. Who has no family. And none of the people in Konoha understand what he has been through, no one was there to care for him when he went through hell, all alone as an eight year old. Being with Naruto starts to heal him, like Oro notices very keenly, but then Itachi's visit happens and everything is unraveled.

She compares her apples with his oranges. Seriously, she has no sense of proportion, does she? What an insensitive thing to say to an orphan. And then, when Sasuke is not affected at all, she confesses to him. So. Much. Cringe. First time I saw this scene, I was like, haven't you embarrassed yourself enough? I was just trying to reconcile to the fact that you mocked Naruto for his orphan status, and then you say this to Sasuke?

I am sure everyone here knows people like her who make everything about themselves. It's quite exhausting to talk to them. But Sakura reminds me of this character, hardship one upper. Lol.

Kishi is such a sensitive writer when it comes to writing emotions, he writes the emotional scenes, especially with Sasuke, with such nuance and delicacy. And then here's Sakura, just crowding up the station with her freight train like confession that morphs from caring about Sasuke's feelings to caring about her own.

It started with - Sasuke you won't be happy even if you got revenge.

To - I won't be either.

To - I won't be happy if you left because I would be as lonely as YOU if you did. (And no, it's not the same as when Naruto tries to stop him from leaving, because for one thing, their love is mutual.)

To - Because I love you. So stay in the village for MY sake.

To - Or take ME with you.

Which is really sad. Because the reason why Sasuke mocked Sakura and called her annoying in chapter three in the first place was because she compared her predicament with Naruto's. She really has no sense of proportion, does she? What does she even know how it feels to be in Naruto's or Sasuke's shoes?

Which is exactly why Sasuke mocks her back. Which she remembers and even reminds Sasuke about it.

This is so ironic. It's her core memory about Sasuke and yet she really learnt nothing from it. Nothing. Sasuke schools her about the difference between her predicament and Naruto's back then.

And he schools her even in this scene.

Sasuke realizes that Sakura has not changed at all. She does the same thing here that she does in chapter three. She fails at understanding both Naruto's and Sasuke's feelings. And makes it about herself both times. Well, she is consistently portrayed as a self absorbed, narcissistic and entitled girl, who must acquire whatever she wants, even Sasuke, who doesn't want her back. Because blimp sized ego. She was trying to manipulate Sasuke so he would stay, for Her sake. She constantly overestimates her importance to both Naruto and Sasuke and fails every single time. Lol. Like when she fake confessed to Naruto thinking Naruto would jump at the chance to get it on with her and quit Sasuke and then she gets rejected lol after which Naruto confesses to Sasuke on the bridge and pledges to die with him. She again attempts to confess to Sasuke at the end of war arc and she again makes it all about herself. Because Sasuke's wish to get justice and reform the world is equal to her wish to have him stay with her because she can't help loving him. Lol. She is such an embarrassment man.

Finally Sasuke has had enough, this was a very satisfying panel btw. Idc if people take offense. But it's not a coincidence that every single time Sasuke gets triggered and calls Sakura annoying, it's always in response to her saying something very selfish, insensitive and disproportionate.

SS can give however many ridiculous (non) reasons, painfully twisted beyond recognition, but lol, they are just trying to cope.

Sasuke is a very perceptive person, deeply attuned to how different people think. He knows Sakura's true nature. He knows how shallow and self centred she is and that her treatment of people is full of artifice. That is why Naruto stands apart and one of the major reasons Sasuke likes Naruto is because there's no artifice in him. What you see is what you get, warts and all, his closetedness is also a part of his personality. Naruto is honest, raw, unrefined and gritty. He doesn't mix words, he is not really very skillful with them. And he doesn't care. Because what matters to him is his emotions, he wears his heart on his sleeve proudly, and Sasuke is in awe of his emotional generosity, just as Naruto is in awe of his intensity and resolve.

Coming back to the interview, Kishi is talking about how fans could perceive it (and SS have) as if they were lovers because Sakura gets so weepy and mawkish, announcing her confession in such a cloying manner. And this scene uses the common trope of the aspirational male character leaving the village to accomplish something and the heroine trying to stop him from leaving, punctuated by heavy emotional beats. But that's just the surface level reading of this scene isn't it? Kishi loves his parallels and his foreshadowing. He is very careful about the way he develops his characters and he won't write them to deviate from their characterization without a reason. Sakura has given Sasuke no reason to actually like her, in fact, she only underscores her inherently shallow and self absorbed personality with everything she says, which has undergone no change whatsoever till date.

Kishi painstakingly keeps her character consistently unchanged even in Boruto. She is the same manipulative, emotionally violent, self centred and egotistical person in Boruto, Gaiden at least, who treats her own daughter so badly when she asks Sakura uncomfortable questions about Sasuke.

Anyway, concluding this winding answer, this scene is quite cringey and Kishi is right in saying that it was embarrassing, because Sakura makes it so. Every. Single. Time.

It's so funny to me that fans simply ignore the fact that the emotional core of this story is based on the concept of truly understanding each other and empathizing. Sasuke doesn't give up till the end and only relents after Naruto lets him know of his feelings that finally resonates with Sasuke. Which finally makes him realize that he is not alone, and it makes him cross over to Naruto's side. Naruto makes a fine profession out of it for heaven's sake, his talk no jutsu being the tool of his trade.

Sakura never understood Sasuke. She never even attempted, she always kept on about her own needs regardless of how Sasuke felt about her or even generally. No one understood him, not Sakura, not Itachi, not Kakashi, no one. Until Naruto. That's why the story ended with their reconciliation. And not the war arc. Because the story is about them.

#ask #naruto #haruno sakura #anti sakura #anti ss #sns #sasuke #uchiha sasuke

106 notes · View notes

tranquil-turbulence · 1 year

Text

SS Month ‘23 - Day 25

Day 24 | Day 25 | Day 26

Prompt: Conference

WARNING(S): Mentions of injury, bullying

“Thank you for coming in, Mr. Uchiha, Mrs. Uchiha.” The principal tapped his fingers against the desk, an exhausted note to his aged face.

“You said Sarada was facing suspension,” Sasuke began, eyes narrowing as the child on the other side of him squirmed in her chair at the reminder. “What happened?”

“My daughter’s never been a troublemaker in her life! I don’t know how it happened, but this is not how we raised her.” Sakura added with a glance of concern to the little girl.

“Ah, yes. Well.” Clearing his throat, the older man pulled a sheet of paper out from the little stack on his desk and turned it so they could read. “Today at recess, she got into an altercation with a boy from another class. There are several witnesses as well as the recess monitor herself, who can verify if needed.”

“Yes, but what happened?” Sasuke pressed, leaning closer to the desk. “That can’t be all. Sarada doesn’t pick fights unless provoked.”

Here, the man paused. He glanced towards Sarada, who up to this point had been quiet. “Sarada? Would you mind telling your parents what happened?”

All eyes on the dark-haired girl, her face flushed with embarrassment and a twinge of upset. “He called Chocho fat, Mama. I had to hit him.”

Sakura’s brow furrowed. “Your friend, Chocho? Chouji and Karui's girl?”

“Yes.” Sarada folded her arms across her chest. “He’s a bully. He always picks on her and I’m tired of nobody doing anything about it.”

“... So you hit him.” Her father deadpanned, his face unreadable.

She pouted. “I didn’t hit him hard…”

“Sarada, I get that you were upset for your friend, but you have to understand that hitting others is wrong.” The principal persuaded, a frown wrinkling his face. “You needed to tell Miss Kuroi--”

“Miss Kuroi knows he’s been bullying Chocho and she doesn’t do anything about it!” The little girl exclaimed.

“Hold on. Wait.” Sakura held up a hand, a stern look directed towards her daughter. “You’ve tried telling an adult.”

“Yes.”

“You told your friends.”

“They saw everything.”

“And your friends told the adult.”

“She just told him to ‘play nice’.” Sarada’s stare was almost as searing as her mother’s as she air-quoted it.

Slowly, she turned her burning stare on the principal. A bead of sweat trickled down his face. “Why are you allowing your staff to overlook obvious signs of bullying? This is ridiculous. We pay you a good sum of money for a good education for our daughter and this is what you call ‘teaching’?”

“U- um, well, Mrs. Uchiha, Miss Kuroi is new here, and isn’t quite used to our code of conduct…”

“So instead of taking the time to teach your staff how to deal with this, you would rather be content to wait until someone gets hurt - like my daughter punching a bully because he’s hurting her friend - to reap the consequences?” She scoffed, folding her arms, brow pinched. “I am a licensed children’s psychologist, Mr. Hamada. I’ve seen firsthand how abusive behavior between children will lead to emotional and mental issues later in life. I've been that bully before. I know how damaging that can be to a young mind.”

“This is unacceptable,” Sasuke agreed, irritation in his voice. “What about the boy? Has he gotten consequences for what he did?”

“Not for being punched, he hasn’t!” The principal balked. “My staff has had to discipline him once or twice for bad behavior, but he’s done nothing to be suspended over.”

“According to the student handbook, repeated abusive behavior is liable for suspension, regardless if it’s a student or staff member. So you would rather let him bully other students and cause them harm than admit you messed up somewhere?” Sakura’s voice was very close to raising, but a hand on her shoulder from her husband made her take a steadying breath. “Mr. Hamada, I will not be accepting my daughter’s suspension. In fact, if you do suspend her for fighting, we will personally take her out of this school and find somewhere else for her education. I will not allow adults to be bad influences for my daughter in a place preparing her for the adult world.”

“Bad influences? Mrs. Haruno, surely--”

“You will reverse the suspension.” The mother’s voice was a deadly quiet.

“I- I can’t just veto a decision that my staff and I have come together to make,” he protested weakly, shrinking under the father’s glare. “The best I can do is reconvene and-- and have a parent-teacher conference with the Akimichis as well…?”

“And the boy’s parents,” she firmly added.

“And the Garous,” the principal said quietly.

“Make a date, then we’ll talk about suspensions.” The pink-haired woman grabbed her purse and her husband’s arm, rising from her chair. “We’ll be taking Sarada for the rest of the day.”

“Of course, ma’am.” Mr. Hamada nodded rapidly, dabbing at his forehead with a handkerchief from his pocket. “You, uh, you have a wonderful day now.”

“We’ll certainly try,” Sasuke flatly answered, taking Sarada’s hand and leading her out of the room behind his wife.

As soon as the door was shut behind them, Sarada looked up, worried. “Am I in trouble?” She asked quietly.

Almost immediately, Sakura’s fierce expression melted into something soft, and she knelt before her. “No, Sara. In fact, I’m very proud of you. You did the right thing.”

“But… but I got in trouble for punching him.”

"Well, yes, but you did everything I told you to do in that situation: you notified an adult, you got witnesses to tell an adult, and you tried to de-escalate. You only used force as a last resort, not a first."

“You showed restraint.” Sasuke chimed in, making her look up at him. There was a strange sort of amusement in his face. “Had it been your mother, the kid definitely would’ve kept a wide berth after that. You really would've gotten suspended.”

“Anata,” Sakura groaned, cheeks burning red. "I'm not that hotheaded anymore..."

"No," he agreed with a chuckle in his voice. "You're fierce."

Sarada giggled at her mother’s embarrassment, stepping closer for a hug. Her perfume tickled her senses pleasantly, as did her soft pink hair against her cheek.

“C’mon,” the dark-haired man gestured towards the door. “Let’s get some ice cream.”

The joy in his daughter’s face brought a smile to his own as he walked with his good hand pressed gently against Sakura’s back, the little girl’s arms wrapped around her mother’s.

#sasusaku month 2023 #parent-teacher conferences #bullying #bamf sakura haruno #bamf sasuke uchiha #modern au #sasusaku

12 notes · View notes

fashionchik91 · 11 months

Text

Spiritual Connection

“Mama…” Sarada hurried down the hall towards her mother, hoping to learn the truth.

“Sarada, what’s wrong!” Sakura asked as she entered her chamber in the palace. She has been doing research so she could help Sasuke from afar. He was traveling through the realms in searching for clues of the threats of Otsutsuki that still lingered after fighting them years before.

“Does papa, love us?”

“Of course, he does, he is just doing important work for the emperor. Our feelings are connected no matter what realm we are in. We always find out way back to each other.” Sakura kneeled in front of her daughter. “You don’t need to worry, your father…Sasuke.” She rose to her feet when she saw her husband behind her daughter, clenching a wound on his side. His blood dripping onto the palace floor.

“Sakura, get the…” Sakura hurried forwards and caught Sasuke before he collapsed. His blood staining her pink dress.

“Papa!” Sarada cried, not expecting to see her father in such a state. He was strong, unbreakable, not someone who would injure easily. What could have happened?

“Sarada, please go find Naruto and inform him of your fathers return. Tell him I brought him to the infirmary.” Sakura placed a hand on Sasuke’s cheek, he was running a high fever, hoping she would be able to save him in time.

Sarada raced down the hall, towards the throne room, in search of the emperor, tears streaming down her face. She came to a stop when she spotted Mitsuki holding Boruto back.

“Why can’t I see my stupid old man!” Boruto yelled.

“He is in an important meeting and…” Shikamaru eyes darted to Sarada who stood behind the two boys, tears in her eyes. He knew something must have happened for Sarada to be in such a distressed state. “What is it?”

Boruto and Mitsuki turned and saw Sarada standing there, wondering what has happened.

“Papa, he is back, but…”

The doors to the throne room suddenly opened, Naruto emerged, ignoring the elders scolding him from ending their meeting so abruptly. He raised an eyebrow when he saw the crowd outside, wondering what had happened. Was this because of Sasuke? He had sensed his magic not too long ago, it was weak, almost like it was dying out.

“Uncl…” Sarada spot herself from calling the emperor Uncle. She was in the presence of many important people and could not show her close relationship to the king. The Arcane High Council disappointed when they learned of the union between the Magician and the Priestess, they returned from traveling the realms with a child, but not any child, theirs. That it was frowned upon that two powerful beings would have a forbidden affair. Not asking the High Council if they could marry. The Arcane’s were protectors of the realms. Their jobs extremely important to make sure their world remains in balance.

“Sarada, is everything alright?” Naruto asked.

“Papa, he came back hurt…” Sarada looked at Uncle Naruto. “He…”

“Don’t worry I am sure Sakura-chan will heal him up.” Naruto smiled brightly, “Why don’t you run along with Boruto and Mitsuki.” Naruto looked at the kids, he knew that visiting Sakura and Sasuke too soon would not be wise. They have not seen each other in months, knowing how they are, they will not be able to keep their hands off each other.

“But…”

“No, buts, run along you three.”

“How long should we wait?” Shikamaru asked as he looked at Naruto with his arms crossed.

“Give them a half hour.”

— 🔞content under the more…

Sasuke looked at his wife as he watched her heal his injuries. The green glow of her magic brought him comfort as he sat on the bed, stripped of his robes, his chest bare. “Sakura…”

“You idiot, how can you be so careless.”

“I was caught off guard, I am sorry, Tsuma.” Sasuke took Sakura’s hand in his, intertwining their hands. “Tsuma…” Sasuke frowned knowing she was upset with him; she would not look him in the eyes. He hated when Sakura avoided his gaze. Sasuke yanked on her arm pulling her into his lap. “What must I do to make it up to you?”

A blush formed on Sakura’s face when she thought of their time exploring the realms, searching for the great threat that made their world unbalanced. How Sarada was conceived in the middle of the Dark Forest, not being able to keep their hands to themselves.

“Hn, so that is it.” A smirk formed on his lips.

Sakura felt Sasuke’s hot breath against her neck. She could feel the erection growing in his pants, it has been months since they have engaged in such activities. “Tell me Sakura, tell me what you want.” He began to bunch up the fabric of her dress, his hand roaming up her thigh as his licked up her collarbone, nibbling on her ear.

Sakura whispered at his touch, not sure how much longer she could last before the engaged into forbidden territory once again. They may be married, but the Arcane High Council still did not see their marriage as legitimate, not like they cared. Their feels were connected. Sarada existed because of their love.

“You, inside me.” Sakura yanked on his waistband, releasing his swollen erection.

“Ahh..” Sasuke watched his wife straddle his waist, allowing her to take control, he was still far to tired to dominate her, to compel her to do what he wants.

Sakura pushed the fabric of her cloth core aside, positioning Sasuke’s hard cock at her entrance, slowly lowering herself on his long hard length, allowing him to fill her up. She rocked herself against Sasuke dick, grinding against his hips. A wave of ecstasy overtook her, shot through her body as he trusted upwards. She felt Sasuke’s arms wrap around her waist, pressing her against his muscular chest, his lips capturing hers.

Sakura lifted her hips off Sasuke’s, slowly lowering herself on his length once again, she began to increase her speed, pounding progressively faster and harder on Sasuke’s dick, she knew she would not be able to last much longer, her orgasm came quickly, sending her to cloud nine as she reached her climate, her body oozing with warmth as he filled her up with his seeds.

Sasuke pressed his forehead against Sakura, “I have missed you Tsuma.”

“I have missed you to Anata, we should make ourselves decent before our loud-mouthed friend burst through those doors.” Sakura was about to pull away, but Sasuke’s grip tightens around her waist, his cock still inside her, twitching, hoping for more. “Sasuke, we can have our fun later, I promise, I will let you compel me, to use those eyes on me to make me yours.”

“Hn.” Sasuke loosens his grip around Sakura, allowing his wife to be presentable when Naruto arrives. He tucks his dick back into his pants, leaning back on the headboard of the hospital bed. “How is Sarada?’

“Happy now here Papa is home.” Sakura smiled as the door to the infirmary opened, Naruto and Shikamaru entered the room.

“Teme, I hear you have information for me.” Naruto asked as he watched Sasuke reached into his pack on the ground.

“I found ruminates of the Otsutsuki, in the ice dimension where Ōtsutsuki Castle is located. I am unable to read the content of the scroll with my Rinnegan, the information is encrypted and needs to be deciphered.”

“I see, we will send this to the Cipher team.” Naruto pocketed the scroll and looked between Sakura and Sasuke, her noticed a bruise forming on Sakura’s neck, “You should rest and enjoy some time with your family.”

“I will, it is nice to be home, even if it is for a little while.” Sasuke knew once the information was decoded, he would have to embark on a journey through the realms once more.

#sasusaku #sakura and sasuke #pro sasusaku #sarada uchiha

12 notes · View notes

sasukesun · 1 year

Note

What are your thoughts on what if about Sasuke asking Naruto about leaving Konoha together in VOTE 1? I know that some sns shippers think that Sasuke would have been more permissive or accepted if Naruto asked him to join him. However, I don't think this type of scenario would have been a possibility, Sasuke's revenge on his brother had always been a personal issue, something that Sasuke wanted and needed to take care by himself, he wasn't looking for company, even team taka were just guards to avoid interruptions, I don't think Sasuke would have asked Naruto to accompany him. On the other hand, Naruto would never have asked to accompany him, something that differentiates Sakura and Naruto, is that Sakura is selfish, she says that she only wants Sasuke's good but at the end of the day her request is only for her, for her feeling lonely if he leaves, in her saying that she could replace his pain and do everything to make him happy and when fails she begs him to let her go with him. Naruto would never have done this, Naruto was concerned for Sasuke's good and didn't want Orochimaru to take over his body, throughout their fight the problem isn't that Sasuke is leaving but that he was leaving with Orochimaru and more knowing that Sasuke was at a vulnerable moment and had admitted that he would let Orochimaru take his body if it meant fulfilling his goal. Naruto would never have asked him to join because Sasuke's well-being would continue to be in danger since they would still go with Orochimaru and that was the big problem, for Naruto the good of Sasuke is first, he doesn't seek to tell him that it will hurt him if he leaves, he doesn't make promises or begs, he's determined to prevent Sasuke from putting himself in danger.

gotta love when people ask me “what do you think about…” and then write a whole rant saying exactly what i think about what they’ve just asked. i’m not complaining btw i’m just- what am i supposed to answer besides “i agree with everything!”? i feel bad to only reply that when someone writes me that much, but it’s really just me saying more of the same, sometimes adding small details here and there. yes, sasuke’s revenge is personal to him and something he has to deal himself, taka was never involved with it besides keeping other people away, but they are not in the scene. especially when you consider that sasuke planned to use kirin, a very lethal jutsu… it’s important to keep people away so no one gets hurt too. also, another crucial point about sasuke leaving, and idk how that easily slips from people’s minds, is the fact that he had to separate himself from naruto because naruto makes him feel at ease and his revenge do not allow such feelings of warmth. orochimaru states that, sasuke states that saying that he thought he was weak. sasuke’s entire mindset thanks to itachi is that he has to be angry and have enough hatred, how bringing naruto with him would help him in that? it doesn’t add up. people love to wrongly claim that sasuke has a deep bond with team taka but besides the obvious that is the fact that they are just coworkers, taka don’t have an influence over sasuke’s heart, no conflict about feeling warmth when you have to have hatred on your mind. makes sense of having people working for you that aren’t close to you. and yes, it wouldn’t make sense of naruto to ask to go with sasuke either because naruto is worried about sasuke’s wellbeing, which was totally threatened by orochimaru. and sakura obviously doesn’t care about that as long as she can have sasuke-kun.

#ask #anonymous

16 notes · View notes

anyon-else · 1 year

Text

Will You Remember Me As I Am Now? (The Red Room pt.10) | For the first time in your life, you understand what true happiness feels like, and it's both exciting and terrifying. You know now that you have to hold onto it before it's ripped away. (Marvel AU) – spotify playlist | read on ao3

Pairings | Kakashi Hatake x Black Widow!Reader + Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, Orochimaru, Kabuto Yakushi

Warnings | female!reader, fluff, hurt/comfort, angst, abuse, violence, guns, manipulation, nightmares

Word count | 9.3k

(previous chapter) | (next chapter) | (series masterlist)

"A burnt child loves the fire."

Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

Life was pleasant.

You hadn't realized that a feeling like this existed. For as long as you could remember, your existence was contained within a small echo-chamber where you learned only about the world's cruelties. On a good day, you didn't add another scar to your seemingly never-ending collection. On a bad day, someone died at your hands. The bad days were often more frequent than the good ones.

But now, it seemed that the Red Room and all of the pain associated with it was just a distant memory. Even your nightmares had slowly faded away, only reappearing between long periods of restful nights.

The dizzying change wasn't necessarily hard to accept. Especially when you were becoming so attached to what your life had become.

Tonight, you'd been invited to Sakura's first movie night since she'd gotten back.

Kakashi was on your right side, tired eyes straining to focus on the movie. Naruto sat at his feet, leaning back on his legs and nodding off every few minutes. Sakura was pressed against your left side, leaning in your shoulder with a small, content smile. Sasuke was on the floor next to her, leaning just slightly on her legs and watching the screen with interest.

According to Sakura, movie night was a fairly normal activity for the four of them. Before she was taken, they'd had one at least once a week. However, when Kakashi had asked you to join them, he told you that this was their first time continuing the tradition since Sakura was taken. He could never bring himself to suggest it without Sakura being there, and Naruto and Sasuke never brought it up either.

So, while Sakura probably saw this as her reintegration of a continuous and simple tradition, you noticed the way that Kakashi glanced over the three kids fondly. Every now and then, you'd catch him looking at each of them as if taking a head count, just to make sure he had all of them there.

You couldn't remember what the name of the movie they'd chosen was. In all honestly, you were barely paying attention. From the moment Kakashi had sat down at your side, close enough that his arm was pressed against yours, you'd felt your heartbeat spike. Frustratingly, it refused to lower despite your best efforts to focus on the movie instead of the proximity.

This had been happening more and more recently. It frustrated you that you had little control over the way you reacted to his presence, and even more infuriating was that you didn't know why.

And you couldn't ask him. The thought alone made you want to crawl into a hole. But it was also becoming troublesome; it was getting harder and harder to sleep in the same bed as him when your heart was beating out of your chest. Some nights you worried he'd hear it, but he seemed perfectly normal.

So normal that it aggravated you.

Why were you so effected by his presence, yet he seemed perfectly fine? He slept peacefully. He rarely got flustered. He was acting the same as always, and while you were grateful that he wasn't confronting you about any odd behavior, it didn't seem fair that this mysterious nervousness was only effecting you.

However, now wasn't the time to ponder on the reasons. It was all you could do to keep your heart from racing. It was unfamiliar and unpleasant enough that you wished your body would just calm itself down without your intervention.

You were disappointed in yourself. Could you really not control anything about your body, from your actions to your feelings?

Sakura glanced at you when you shifted, trying to adjust and put as much space between you and Kakashi that you could. If it was the physical contact that made you so nervous, you knew that you should've just told him that you didn't want him touching you, but this felt different from the unpleasantness that you generally associated with touch. You were so confused, and it infuriated you.

Sakura was giving you continuous and frustratingly obvious glances whenever Kakashi shifted. You knew that she felt your heart-rate pick up, and this new tangle of emotions was not made any less frustrating by her knowing looks.

At one point during the movie—which you'd discovered through short intervals of attention was about a friendship between a fox and a dog—you noticed Sasuke's subtle nudge against Sakura's leg. It would've been easily mistakable as a shift in position, but the small glance that he shot her was painfully obvious to your well-trained eyes.

For a moment, neither Sasuke nor Sakura moved, and you felt it acceptable to let your guard down and shift your attention back to the movie. However, the moment you lifted your head, Sakura leaned closer to you and pressed herself into your side. She sighed happily as she pushed much more than her full weight on you, and while it wasn't necessarily strange that Sakura clung to you like this, her movements ended up crowding you against Kakashi's side. You were practically hip-to-hip now, though Kakashi didn't look anywhere near as startled as you felt by the change. In fact, he smoothly and nonchalantly pulled his arm from between your hips and laid it over the back of the couch behind your head. Your eyes widened, and your heartbeat picked up again despite his arm being a few inches from your neck. Sakura looked at the new position, and you wanted to shove her off the couch when a smug smile spread across her lips.

Kakashi, much to your chagrin, didn't look the least bit phased. He and Naruto were completely engrossed in the movie, oblivious to the silent war that you'd decided to start against Sakura and Sasuke.

"Psst," Sakura whispered, loud enough to pull Kakashi's attention away from the screen, "you're heart's beating pretty fast. Are you feeling okay?"

You heard the false concern in her voice, and you met her forced frown with a glare, pointedly facing her rather than Kakashi when he raised a brow at you and Sakura.

"I'm fine," you grit, closing your eyes when Kakashi's hand fell to your back to feel your racing heart for himself. He you'd become far more comfortable with his touch over the past few weeks, but now it was beginning to have the opposite effect that you wanted. You thought your heart might burst from your chest if this went on any longer.

"It is beating fast," Kakashi muttered, misguided concern in his voice. He probably thought you were having a panic attack, "you don't have to stay. Do you want to go back to our room?"

Our room. Damn him. Sakura covered her mouth to hide a snicker and Sasuke was grinning like a cheshire cat. Damn them too. Damn it all.

"Yeah," you said hoarsely, clearing your throat and stepping away from his touch, "that'd be good, I think."

You left the room quickly, steps echoing in the vast space of the lounge. The movie continued playing, and you released a heavy sigh when you entered Kakashi's room.

This was a fairly recent phenomenon. Your nervousness hadn't been this bad last week, and the week before you'd been perfectly content in Kakashi's presence. You'd still been able to sleep somewhat soundly, though you'd recently started facing away from him at night. It was hard to tell whether that was a result of growing trust or increased nervousness.

God, you were losing it. You were a spy. A former Black Widow. You were better than childish crushes, though you were really doing your best to convince yourself that there was something else going on. Unfortunately, that was the only explanation that you could come up with.

You couldn't really be blamed for it, though. Not when you got to see his face night after night, mask discarded like he was completely comfortable being so vulnerable around you.

It made you overthink to an infuriating extent.

You sat on the bed, thinking hard enough on this revelation that you'd slowly come to over the past week that you barely heard the door opening behind you. The fleeting hope that it was Sakura coming to check on you vanished when Kakashi's familiar weight sank into the bed.

"Sakura said I should come check on you," he said, and you closed your eyes. She really had it all planned out.

"I'm fine," you told him, careful not to let any emotion into your voice. What that translated as was a cold and closed-off response, which was likely not going to make him feel reassured by your answer.

"It's okay if you're not, you know."

Everything was becoming irritating. Kakashi. His unending patience. His warmth. How secure you felt around him. It was too good—too...safe. It was completely different from anything you'd ever experienced.

"I am," you sighed, deflating at his gentle tone. He nodded, leaning back on his hands and looking up at the ceiling.

A few months ago, the idea of adjusting to a place like this would've made you laugh. It hadn't been safety that you wanted, it had been routine. Order. Even if it was enforced by pain. In fact, that was something you were so used to that you would've welcomed it with open arms.

But even though the person you'd become was a far cry from who you were, you found yourself becoming more and more comfortable with yourself as each day passed. Each time Sakura laughed at your joked, or Sasuke asked to spar with you, or Naruto asked if you wanted to have ramen with him, you wondered what you had done to make them willing to spend time with you.

You wondered what you had done to make Kakashi feel safe in your presence. You wondered and wondered, but even when no answers came, you felt content.

You woke later that night frozen on your side of Kakashi's bed, gripping the sheets and trying to force yourself to breath. Tears rolled silently down your cheeks and dampened the pillow below you, but you were paralyzed, unable to move to wipe them away.

Kakashi hadn't stirred. It gave you the chance to collect your thoughts, though that was easier said than done. It had been a few weeks since your last nightmare, but your reaction to them kept increasing in intensity. You had grown too used to a pleasant night's sleep. Now your nightmares seemed even more daunting than before, and the idea of sleeping without Kakashi was equally as terrifying.

It took a few minutes to get your stiff limbs to begin moving. Eventually, you stood from the bed and shuffled towards the door to Kakashi's small balcony. The air was crisp, and you took in a deep breath once you'd closed the door behind you.

Your gut was churning.

Things had been quiet at the compound since you and Kakashi finished the mission. Your wounds had fully healed, and with less prominent marks than many of your other scars thanks to Kakashi and Sakura's superior medical care.

Everything was fine. Nothing was out of the ordinary, and HYDRA didn't seem to be a threat to you now. Your previous suspicious that Sakura was still in danger despite Kakashi's reassurances were disappearing with each day that passed, as was the fear that you were losing your mind. Adjusting was becoming easier and easier, and it seemed that way for Sasuke and Naruto as well. You were fitting into their little family with more ease than before.

But looking out at the calm, clear night sky, you felt a familiar, unpleasant feeling in your stomach. It was probably the Widow whispering in your ear, convincing you that all of this was too good to be true, but you felt that there was something else. Something that was giving you this gut feeling.

"Maa," Kakashi muttered behind you. You listened to each of his footsteps as he walked to your side; now, with your lingering sense of dread, it was harder to focus on your nervousness. You studied the surrounding area carefully, looking for a threat that had likely never been there in the first place, "aren't you cold?"

Right. It was the middle of winter, and the middle of the night, but you'd neglected to wear a jacket. In all honestly, you'd barely noticed your poor clothing choice, too caught up in your panic to think of anything but the endearing pull of fresh air.

"A bit," you shrugged, "I just wanted to come out for a second. I'll come back in soon."

Kakashi shrugged, but before you could stop him, he had disappeared inside and returned with a jacket. You'd seen him wearing it when he left the compound for missions, and he generally kept it hung over his desk chair. You felt your nervousness returning when he draped it over your shoulders.

His hands brushed against your arms as they pulled away, and you closed your eyes to try and stop yourself from visibly shivering. Every time he did that, you wanted to grab his hand and keep him close, just to stay in his peaceful presence a little bit longer. The foreign urge made you want to scream; a few months ago, you would have scoffed at the idea of feelings like this. They made people weak and soft.

But now you understood the appeal to a frustrating extent. You still heard Orochimaru's voice like a devil on your shoulder whispering in your ear, telling you that this was why so many Widows died before their time. Their feelings—their humanity—were their downfall. And you'd always looked down on them, just like all the others.

How had you become your own worst fear in so little time?

Was this the person you'd hoped to become? Had you ever hoped to become anything?

You stood with him in silence, listening to the wind rustle the trees and scanning between the trunks, triple checking that there was nothing lurking just out of view.

"What's bothering you?"

It was only logical to tell him about this foreboding feelings, but you also didn't want to raise any alarms if you were just getting worked up over a gut feeling. You had no desire to send Kakashi on another goose chase—not now that things had actually calmed down enough for him to relax.

"Nothing."

He accepted your answer with a nod and further silence. It sent a rush of gratitude through you, and you turned to face him before you could think better of it. You ignored the Widow's voice and Orochimaru's reprimands in your head telling you that acting on childish feelings would only create weakened resolve and depleted strength.

But you felt powerful when you were with Kakashi. Orochimaru's teachings had far too many holes for them to have the same grasp on you as they did before. Especially now that you understood more accurately what humanity entailed.

It felt like freedom.

Kakashi met your gaze, elbows still resting on the railing, but he shot up when you lunged at him. He was frozen in place as you wrapped your arms around his waist, keeping him locked in a tight hug. You were unsure of yourself, and you worried when he didn't respond to your gesture that you'd done something wrong—were hugs meant to be this tight? Should you have given him some sort of warning? Sakura had never minded hugs like this, but that was different. Hugging Sakura never made you feel like your heart was going to burst from your chest, or that your stomach was turning itself over again and again.

It took Kakashi a few seconds to recover, and you thought that he'd stopped breathing in that time, but when he regained his senses he was quick to reciprocate. You let out a sigh when he wrapped an arm around your waist and brought the other to the back of your head, pressing it firmly into his chest and letting out a deep, relieved breath. You felt it against your cheek, a comforting warmth in the cold night air.

You weren't sure what possessed you to do this; it was both brave and, from what Kakashi had seen, completely out of character. But it was something you were desperate for. Just one touch that provided comfort—one reassurance that you were allowed to be someone new. That you were allowed to choose who you wanted to become, and feel these new emotions that had always been forbidden before.

I'll teach you how to be human.

Kakashi's words echoed in your mind, and you thought about how much he had already done. About the progress you'd made in so little time. You were proud of yourself. For the first time in your life, you felt that you'd accomplished something for your own sake rather than someone else's.

Kakashi pressed a kiss to the top of your head, hands still pressed against your back to keep you close.

Maybe, just for this moment, it was okay to ignore your worry. Things were so good, and if this forboding feeling would go away you'd be able to relax. Maybe this kind of gesture wouldn't feel so significant. Maybe, after enough time, it would become normal to hug Kakashi. To hug Sakura, and even Sasuke and Naruto. To be part of a family. To have a home.

"Is this okay?" you croaked, swallowing against your dry throat. "Can I do this?"

"Yes," he whispered back.

You'd never been held before. Not like this.

Everything about your life now was so precious. You were becoming more and more desperate to keep it safe.

You also noticed through the contented haze of your thoughts that Kakashi's heart was beating just as fast as your own.

The next morning, you woke up alone.

Muffled voices slipped under the door, and you could make out Kakashi's voice directing the three kids as they cooked breakfast. You could smell something sweet all the way in the closed bedroom, and it lured you from the warmth of Kakashi's blankets. You trudged into the kitchen groggily, following the sounds of Naruto's shout of surprise and Sasuke's angry groan.

The kitchen was a disaster. The flour that Naruto had supposedly just spilled was spread over the counter and the floor, and some of it had somehow ended up on Sasuke and Kakashi. Sakura had sidestepped the mess and spotted you before the others.

"Ah!" she smacked Kakashi's shoulder, eyes wide in surprise, "Good morning! You're up early, huh?"

"I always get up early," you grumbled, narrowing your eyes at the frozen group, "what's going on?"

"Uh..." Naruto looked around, dusting flour off of the counter and running his hands over it frantically until he found a small, cylindrical object, "happy birthday!"

Confetti shot out of the small tube, and you watched it flutter to the ground to reveal a still-grinning Naruto. You blinked at him, completely bewildered. Birthday? Whose birthday was it?

"What's all this?" you asked, approaching the mess on the counter. From the looks of it, they were in the middle of making pancakes. There was a stack of them on a plate and a mixture of ingredients in a bowl in Sasuke's hands for more batter, which was presumably where the flour mishap had happened.

"Duh. I just told you! It's for your birthday!"

"It's...not my birthday."

"Huh?" Naruto turned towards Kakashi, "but you said...Kakashi-sensei! Did you get the day wrong?"

How would Kakashi know your birthday? You didn't even know your birthday. The concept of birthdays was practically nonexistent in the Red Room; you'd never really given a second thought to yours. When you discovered that people celebrated theirs every year, you thought it was a useless, time-wasting tradition.

"I saw it in your file at the bunker," Kakashi explained when he saw your puzzled expression. You looked at him, but you had to quickly avert your eyes from his soft smile, showing itself in his eyes above his mask.

Oh. So he...remembered your birthday? And went to all this trouble just for a day that was fairly insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

Huh.

You felt your heart skip a beat as you stared at the man, eyes wide and mouth agape. You probably looked comical, and the grin on Sakura's face told you that you weren't being very subtle about your conflicted feelings.

"We made you breakfast!" Naruto said happily. He slid the full plate of pancakes across the table at you, then gave you a wide assortment of syrups and fruits. You approached the table carefully, still reeling from the fact that today was your birthday, and that the others had decided to do something for you to celebrate.

"Eat," Sakura smiled, softer than her previous one. She seemed to understand your confusion, even though she hadn't experienced it herself. Being in the Red Room since birth creates a detachment from one's identity that was hard for you to reconcile now that you were out, independent of Orochimaru's will, "we made it for you."

"Thank you," you muttered, chest warming as you looked at the small buffet that they'd created. Naruto kept pulling toppings out of the fridge—first whipped cream, then chocolate syrup, then strawberries.

"Eat! We're making more, so don't worry about leaving any for us."

It was the first time you'd ever tried pancakes, a fact that you informed the four of as you ate your fill. Naruto looked horrified, mouth open wide before he began shouting about how sad it must've been for you. You didn't attempt to remind him that you'd never exactly been worried about the lack of pancakes in your life.

"Try this one!" Sakura grinned as she pushed a large, spotted pancake towards you, "it's chocolate chip and it's amazing."

"Is not," Sasuke grumbled, ducking away from Sakura's attempt to shove him to the side. "What? They're too sweet."

"Mm," you hummed around your first bite, smiling at the two, "'s good."

"Tch. You all have bad taste."

Sakura glared at Sasuke and caught sight of his plate despite his best efforts to hide it.

"Ew, are you putting raisins in yours, weirdo?"

Kakashi reached over Sakura for the spatula that she was waving at Sasuke and flipped the remaining pancakes on the griddle. When he'd finished, he slid it back into her hand and watched her smack Sasuke's with it.

"Don't insult our pancakes when yours looks like they came out of a retirement home."

Naruto giggled, and you smiled to yourself as they bickered. Kakashi continued making the pancakes with each of the kids' chosen toppings, unfazed by the escalating argument that Naruto had become involved in after an insult to his own topping choice.

"Shut up, Naruto! You add an ungodly amount of chocolate to yours, so you have no room to talk!"

"You shut up! Chocolate is the best topping, believe it!"

Kakashi shook his head at their bickering, and you could see his eyes scrunching as he smiled behind his mask. You were glad that Sakura was enthralled with her argument, too distracted to see your cheeks turning red as you watched Kakashi's emotions through his eyes.

You pictured his face under the mask, smile small but still so full of joy. He really was beautiful.

You choked as the thought crossed your mind. Kakashi glanced up when you practically inhaled the bit of pancake you'd been chewing hit your chest to try and dislodge it from your windpipe.

Beautiful? You had never really been interested in those kinds of observations before. Sure, you could acknowledge things that were beautiful versus not, and you knew what features people generally found attractive, but this was an entirely new feeling.

Every day you added to the list of things that were new about your life. It was exhausting.

But it was also exciting. That was another new feeling. You constantly felt excited about this new life you'd been given.

"Don't choke," Kakashi griped after you'd finished coughing.

"Helpful," you grumbled, avoiding his curious gaze and looking instead at where the kids were still arguing. Sakura had Sasuke in a chokehold, grinning at him as she held him up by the throat. The boy looked like he was starting to go blue in the face; he was tapping Sakura's arm in an attempt to alleviate the pressure, but she just tightened her hold. Naruto had gone silent, argument forgotten as he grabbed Sakura's shoulder with a nervous smile.

"Uh, Sakura? I think he's had enough..."

Sakura looked up, and you finally got a clear look at the smile on her face. Rather than the playful, slightly guilty one that you'd expected, it was a familiar smirk that greeted you.

"Kakashi," you barked, but the man had already realized what was going on and taken action. He jumped at Sakura and freed Sasuke from her hold. You heard the boy coughing and taking in gasps of air before you lunged for Sakura, ignoring the part of your mind that was begging for this to be a dream, focusing instead on the problem right in front of you.

Save her, a part of you screamed. It was the part that she had helped you unlock. It was the one that had been growing since you escaped. It was one that you wanted to hold on to.

Stop her, another voice said, old and familiar like a long-forgotten friend. It was the Widow's voice, reaching out to you again after her long silence. Her phantom hands pressed against your back and pushed you towards Sakura—towards the threat—before she could reach Naruto. The boy had taken a defensive position, but he looked considerably more hesitant to engage with his friend than you felt. Before Sakura had a chance to lunge at him, you wrapped your arms around her waist and threw yourself back so that she landed on top of you.

"Sakura!" you shouted at her, wrapping your legs around her waist at the same time that Naruto and Kakashi grabbed each of her arms and pinned them to the ground. You could still hear Sasuke catching his breath a few feet away, and you tried not to focus on how pained his breathing sounded or how hard Sakura must have tried to kill him.

Not Sakura, you reminded yourself, Orochimaru.

"Sakura, you're stronger than he is," you grunted. Sakura growled, the sound almost animalistic, and Kakashi grabbed the back of her head before she could launch it back into your nose. She snarled again, baring her teeth at him and continuing her vicious fight against the three of you, "Sakura, please! If you can hear me, then fight!"

Her struggle continued, and you tightened your hold on her when her movements became more sporadic.

"Orochimaru," Kakashi said over Sakura, voice carrying across the room and leaving an echo in its wake. Sakura had gone silent in an instant, full attention on Kakashi, "interesting. So you can hear us and see us through her eyes?"

Sakura's eyes were blank, as if her body had been left vacant for a split second. Then she was blinking, and though her body had gone still in your arms, her lips split into a smirk.

"Sakura–" you croaked, tears burning in your eyes as the girl craned her neck as best she could to look at you. When she saw your broken expression, her smirk split into a grin and she let out a laugh.

"My Widow," Sakura whispered, studying your scar as if to confirm your identity, "I hope you enjoyed this phase of rebellion, but I've come to collect what you owe me."

"She doesn't owe you anything!"

"Quiet," Sakura hissed, whipping her head towards Naruto and silencing him with a single, scathing glare, "she owes me everything. She owes me her life. And that is what I've come to collect."

You could feel yourself beginning to shut down. These words were so familiar, and it had been far too long since you'd been reminded of your place. It was a shock to be thrown back into the mind of the Widow, but Orochimaru's were enough of a catalyst. Your head was spinning, and you fought to regain control over your senses despite feeling waves of nausea crashing into you.

"I want to kill you more than anything," Orochimaru said, and the words felt like daggers coming from Sakura's mouth.

This feeling of complete and utter helplessness was what you'd been battling against all this time. It was what you thought you'd overcome, but you were the same as before. You hadn't changed at all, and this was proof. One word from Orochimaru, and you were falling back into your bad habits like they were old friends welcoming you home.

It was as comforting as it was painful.

"It's an ironic kind of punishment for both of us that you're what I need to go back."

"You're more delusional than I expected."

Sakura turned towards Kakashi this time, blank expression focused on him. She studied him carefully, looking between his eyes for any hint of emotion other than forced indifference. He didn't blink.

"Hatake," she finally said with another grin.

"It's good to finally meet you, snake," Kakashi said patiently, still holding Sakura's arm despite her lack of struggle, "I hope you know that this is technically trespassing on SHIELD property."

"You stole something from me," Sakura shot back, "and I've come to collect it."

"You haven't come to collect anything," Kakashi shook his head, leaning closer to Sakura and looking into her eyes. Into the eyes that Orochimaru was watching him through, "you're nothing more than a coward. Not even brave enough to confront me face-to-face."

"You?" Sakura cackled. It sounded wrong coming from her, "I have no interest in you, or any confrontation. What I want is very simple. And I'm willing to offer a trade."

"We don't want anything from you–"

"Freedom," Sakura interrupted Naruto sharply, glaring at him intensely. Naruto flinched at the unfamiliar expression on Sakura's face and turned away, "for Sakura. That is what I'm offering. All I'm asking in return is for my Widow back."

That's it?

It seemed like an easy trade-off. Sakura's freedom? You were willing to give anything for that. Giving yourself up was always an option you'd considered, and now you had the opportunity to save her. She could finally live without fear, and without Orochimaru's control looming over her like puppet strings.

Freedom was the only thing you wanted for her. It was never something you expected for yourself, even if you'd momentarily deluded yourself into thinking it was a possibility.

Trying to be human had proven too difficult for you. Orochimaru was calling you, and you would answer with a promise of loyalty. For Sakura, you would give yourself back to him in a heartbeat.

"No."

You froze, limbs seizing at Kakashi's declaration. You stared wide-eyed at the ground, hearing only your quiet breaths as they began to quicken.

Then, like a switch flipping within you, anger crashed into you in waves.

"It'll only be a matter of time until we figure out how you're controlling her," Kakashi was saying, though you could barely hear him through the ringing in your ears and the heaviness of your breathing, "and then you'll have no power over us anymore."

A hypocrite. That's all Kakashi was. For all his talk about not wanting to be Orochimaru and about giving you back control of your own life, he was standing in front of you—not even looking at you—and deciding with no hesitation that you couldn't save Sakura.

No, that new, happier voice said. She could barely be heard over the Widow's ferocious anger, but she clawed her way to the surface and fought desperately to speak, don't do this. That's Orochimaru's voice in your head. That is exactly what he wants you to believe.

The Widow fought against this new voice, but she dug her fingers into your mind and refused to let go.

If you tell yourself that Kakashi is the enemy, you'll alienate yourself from the only people who have ever seen you as an individual. That's exactly what Orochimaru wants. Kakashi is just trying to–

"Wha...what's going on?"

Sakura's voice had changed again. It sounded terrified, and you realized that you were still immobilizing her in a vice-like grip. Despite your previous anger, you glanced at Kakashi almost involuntarily for confirmation that Orochimaru had let go of his hold on her.

"M-my head," she whispered, pressing her palms against her forehead and letting out a panicked, broken sob, "it hurts. Ah–Kakashi-sensei, it...it feels like I'm dying."

"Sakura," Kakashi yelled when the girl began to fall to the side, slumping into Kakashi arms and letting out sporadic, wheezing exhales, "Sakura, does anything else hurt?"

"I'm dying," Sakura choked, curling into herself on Kakashi lap and holding the back of her head against her chest, "it hurts so bad. I think...am I going to die?"

"No, Sakura, you're–"

"I don't wanna die. I can't...I just came back. I just came home. Please, just don't let me die."

"Orochimaru is still controlling her," you muttered, kneeling next to Sakura and placing a hand against her forehead. Her temperature was normal, "he's making her feel like this. He wants us to see it so we'll break."

And it was working.

Kakashi's indifferent mask had broken into something pained and terrified. Naruto was rambling to Sakura, telling her that everything was going to be okay. Sasuke was standing behind Kakashi, throat bruised with her handprint and fists clenched tight at his sides. He stared at Sakura with a pain in his eyes that you had never seen before.

You could stop this. It was such an easy problem to solve that it was almost laughable.

"Stop," you muttered, pulling Sakura's shoulder so that she was facing you. Your throat tightened at the sight of her face, streaked with tears and twisted in pain, "stop this. You can have me, so stop hurting her."

It took a moment, but you saw the shift that took place on Sakura's face. The pain fell away, and then that emptiness was back. You almost preferred the pain to this—she looked like a corpse.

"Think this through," Kakashi said next to you, voice shaky as he stared down at Sakura's limp body, "we can figure something else out."

"There is no other option, Kakashi," you muttered, anger forgotten. You were too tired for anger. You had already made up your mind. "You have your family. They can all be safe again."

Kakashi stared at you, eyebrows pinched together and still just as pained as they were before. You wanted to run a hand over his forehead and smooth out the frustrated wrinkles in his skin. You wanted to tell him that this was okay with you. That this was what you wanted. To protect Sakura. To protect him and Naruto and Sasuke. To give them back their lives.

They had a chance to be a safe. You weren't going to let them give that up.

Sakura began to move slowly. Her movements were robotic enough that Kakashi and Naruto allowed her to stand, though they stayed close to her side and followed her to the kitchen. She picked up a spare napkin from breakfast and swiped away your empty plate with little regard to it shattering on the floor.

"Pen."

It wasn't Orochimaru's voice, but it wasn't Sakura's voice either. It was like an empty void had taken hold of her, expending only the energy necessary to complete its task.

Sasuke placed a blunt marker into her waiting hand, though she didn't seem bothered by the divergence from her instructions. Instead, she scribbled something on the napkin, then handed it to you with empty eyes. She was looking right through you, recognizing you only as the recipient of the note that she'd written. On it was an address.

"This is your house," you muttered, glancing at Kakashi with wide eyes.

"Meet there," Sakura commanded monotonously. Then, with no warning, she crumpled to the ground.

For as long as you had known her, Sakura had been fascinated by mythology.

She would tell you stories when the darkness of a cell became suffocating for both of you. She would whisper the words with so much excitement, wanting to share the stories that you'd never had the opportunity to hear. She'd tell you about Helen and Artemis and the magnificent creatures that lurked in forests and within caves. She transported you into a world wholly different from your own, where you could imagine yourself sailing the Aegean Sea in the open air, part of an equal collective of heroes whose responsibilities matched your own. Where you could swim with mermaids and face Charybdis' crashing waves and the monstrous form of Scylla. Where pain was simply a part of adventure rather than a means of control.

When you were free, she gave you the book of Greek myths that Kakashi had read to her as a child. She said that you always seemed interested in what you had to say, and you kept it by your bedside in Kakashi's room and reread the stories that Sakura had once told you. You told her every time she asked what you thought that you preferred the way she told them.

You remembered reading about the HYDRA. That was one story that Sakura never told when you were both in the Red Room. You had stared at the detailed painting of its long, snaking heads and the sharp points of its teeth and wondered if this was how Orochimaru saw himself. As one of those terrifying creatures, looming over the world like a god and multiplying each time he raised a girl to become a killer.

The Hydra had poisonous blood so virulent that even its scent was deadly. The Hydra possessed many heads and had regenerative power: for every head chopped off, the Hydra would regrow two in its place.

Orochimaru had left Kakashi's door hanging open in invitation. Kakashi's hands were wrapped tight around the steering wheel, though you were doing your best not to look at him. You almost couldn't stand the tension in the car or the silence that had persisted since Sakura passed out. She was sitting in between Naruto and Sasuke in the back seat, slumped on Sasuke's shoulder and supported by Naruto's arms around her waist, holding her steady. She hadn't stirred since she collapsed.

Kabuto was waiting for you in the doorway. You felt a chill race down your spine at the sight of him, and you could already feel yourself beginning to shut down. You could practically feel the intensity of his gaze, and you wondered if the slight ache in your cheek was a phantom pain that originated from your many memories of his fists hitting you again and again, insisting that pain was the only way to make you stronger.

You had become so weak. You hadn't realized it before, but you'd been too relaxed while you were with Kakashi and the others. You'd let your guard down for too long, and now you were paying for it.

Kakashi didn't move when you opened the car door. You glanced back at Naruto and Sasuke with a silent but firm order: do not come out of the car.

Kabuto didn't move when you began approaching him. His face remained expressionless, though you could see the tension in his body. His hands were balled into fists, and when you finally stopped a few feet away from him, his eyes narrowed just slightly.

Kakashi opened his door at the same time that Kabuto took a single step forward and slapped you across the cheek. The strength of it left your face stinging, and you felt your lip beginning to bleed where a ring had caught on the skin. It was far too familiar to be surprising.

"You have no idea how much you've destroyed," Kabuto said, and you only began to understand just how angry he was when you heard his voice. It was low and dangerous; the man was usually more composed than anyone you'd ever met. This level of anger from him was new territory. "If we didn't need you, I'd kill you where you stand."

You kept your lips sealed shut, ignoring Kakashi standing at your back. You saw Kabuto's eyes shift to meet his and waited with shallow breaths for one of them to move. You certainly wouldn't be the first.

"I see you've found another master," Kabuto sneered, glaring at you once again when he'd finished studying the indifferent expression on Kakashi's face. Kabuto grabbed your shirt and jerked you forward, his movements sudden and sporadic. You reached back and caught Kakashi's arm just as he began to move it. This wasn't the time to hinder Kabuto or Orochimaru from doing what they wanted. Not with Sakura's life on the line.

Kakashi's arm was tense in your grip. You tightened your fingers around his wrist just slightly, hoping that your silent reassurance would be conveyed in the gesture.

You knew it would only do so much. Time and time again, Sakura was being ripped away from him. He had to be sick of seeing her in pain.

And one cause of that pain was standing right in front of him.

Kabuto pulled you close enough that his lips were next to your ear. You felt warm breath on your skin and closed your eyes, fighting not to shrink away.

"You're nothing," he hissed. "Don't forget that just because you're needed."

You knew what you were. You had always known—you had just forgotten. For the briefest moment, you'd deluded yourself into thinking that you could mean something. That you could become someone.

A pipe dream. That was all it would ever be.

The creature was so poisonous that it killed men with its breath, and if anyone passed by when it was sleeping, they breathed its tracks and died in the greatest torment. Even the smallest contact with the Hydra’s blood could be fatal.

Orochimaru was waiting for you on Kakashi's couch. He didn't seem bothered by Kakashi's presence at your side; he must've been confident in the threat that he was holding over you both. He knew after Kakashi's many attempts to get Sakura back that he wouldn't risk her. Not for you.

Kabuto had said it himself. You were nothing.

When you saw Orochimaru for the first time after so long, it felt like you'd never left his side. You mind went blank, and you froze where you stood. You barely noticed Kakashi's pack scattered around the room, all motionless but still visibly breathing.

You were at attention, though you made sure that you weren't looking directly at Orochimaru. He didn't tolerate eye contact with his Widows. He claimed that it made them seem too human—too emotional. He wanted complete detachment from any kind of personal connection with you. To the Widows, Orochimaru wanted to be a god—untouchable and all-powerful.

You couldn't move. Your body wasn't responding to any of your brain's commands. You just stood, waiting for your fate like a deer waiting patiently for headlights to meet it. Orochimaru stood from the couch in silence, calm and collected and appearing as if he was in complete control of his emotions.

You tried to embody that same control, but found that panic mounted within you each time he took a step in your direction. By the time he had stopped in front of you, you'd stopped breathing altogether in an effort to hide your fear. To hide how terrified you were at the idea of going back to him. Any residual longing you'd felt for the familiarity of the Red Room disappeared as you stared at the wall next to him, eyes and lungs burning. With Orochimaru so close for the first time in months, you wondered how you had ever wanted to be near someone who's entire being screamed danger.

Orochimaru didn't move for a long moment. When he did, you felt the pressure of his cold fingers gripping your chin. He moved your face until you were forced to meet his gaze.

Terror seized your body when you finally looked into Orochimaru's cold, snake-like eyes. He was looking at you like he could see into the very depths of your soul, and you finally exhaled in a choked, broken whimper. There was the slightest upward twitch of Orochimaru's lips.

"You've made things very difficult for me," he said, the words slithering from his mouth like a snake escaping a cage. You felt them coiling around your throat with the familiar intent to kill. Despite how calm he may have looked, you had been studying him for signs of anger your whole life. His fury was practically dripping from the corners of his mouth as his lips shifted up into a smirk, "but even so, I've decided that you still have a place as a Widow."

Orochimaru's fingers had tightened on your chin, and his smile had widened into something crazed.

"You want that, don't you?"

Speaking seemed like an impossible task, but you forced your lips to part and felt the expected answer forming in your throat.

"Yes," you croaked, though it was hardly convincing. Orochimaru laughed and turned you around to face Kakashi and Kabuto where they stood in the doorway. Orochimaru's fingers fell to the back of your neck, and you recognized the warning in his tight grip.

"Then why don't you tell that to Hatake before he does something he'll regret."

You took a moment to clear the fog from your mind and look at Kakashi. The indifferent mask had fallen from his face, and Orochimaru seemed to see how desperate he was to stop the scene that was unfolding in front of him. Kabuto was keeping him far enough from you that he wouldn't interfere, but his shoulders were rising and falling too quickly to be from anything but panic. He looked ready to lunge towards you the second he found an opening.

His eyes met yours immediately when you turned around, searching for anything other than the desperate terror and resigned acceptance that he saw.

You wished you felt brave enough to speak. To reassure him and stop him from panicking when he didn't need to.

Don't move. Don't let him hurt her. It's okay. This was always going to happen.

"Tell him," Orochimaru ordered, "where it is that you belong."

His hand on the back of your neck felt like a shock to your system, waking you to the reality of what was happening. You were back in Orochimaru's cruel hands, waiting with bated breath for his next move. But through your hazy panic, one thought fought through and left your lips before you could even consider stopping it.

"Not until you fix her."

Kabuto froze at your words. He knew that as well as you did that ignoring Orochimaru's orders almost always ended in death.

"You offered a trade," you croaked. You voice sounded weak, and you almost felt ashamed that Kakashi was seeing you at such a low point, "so hold up your end of the bargain."

"Look at you," Orochimaru said with another laugh, condescension dripping from the words, "I almost want to be proud, but you and I both know that you weren't raised to speak out against me."

You wished you had never left. You wished you had just given Sakura to Kakashi the day that he came for her and gone back inside. You wished that he had left you there.

"You forgot your place, and now you've made it my job to remind you," Orochimaru hissed in your ear. "Now tell him where you belong."

"No," you whispered, the word so faint that you weren't even sure if you'd said it. But the tightening of Orochimaru's fingers around your neck was evidence enough that he'd heard you. Kakashi took a step forward, but froze when Kabuto raised a gun and pointed it at his chest. His wide eyes were still studying you, watching every minute reaction to Orochimaru's torment.

The man that he'd been itching to get his hands on was right here in front of him. He was close enough that he could take one leap forward and close his hands around the man's throat. He could fix this. He could stop you from giving yourself back to him.

"Kakashi-sensei!"

Naruto's voice was high and panicked on the opposite side of the door. He was keeping his distance, and it was clear that he didn't see you or Orochimaru standing in the center of the room, but Orochimaru still held tight to your neck to keep you from moving towards the boy. You closed your eyes and fought against the urge to follow Naruto's distressed cry.

Kakashi's reaction was instantaneous. He had turned around in a heartbeat, ignoring Kabuto's weapon and taking a step out of the house to face Naruto.

"Sakura's seizing!"

Kakashi's body went taut at the same time that all of the fight drained from your body. This was it. This was Orochimaru's trump card; the one thing that he could hold over your head that would make you do anything he asked.

He could kill Sakura. He didn't even have to be in the same room as her to make her heart stop.

"That's enough," you croaked, attempting to face Orochimaru but stopping when he thumb pressed deep into the junction of your neck, "I understand. I belong in the Red Room. I-I belong to you."

You heaved against the panic that still swirled in your stomach. Nausea was crashing in waves inside of you, and you thought you would've collapsed had it not been for Orochimaru holding you up by your throat.

"She stopped!" Sasuke shouted, voice farther from the house than Naruto's. Kakashi visibly relaxed and ordered Naruto to go back to the car and watch over Sakura. Naruto didn't protest.

Kabuto looked satisfied by your compliance, but Orochimaru was still tight. There was a long pause after your words, and you wondered if it was too late to give him the answer he wanted. Maybe you'd already dug your grave deep enough to lay in.

I belong to you.

You tried to change. You tried to escape. You tried to become human.

It just wasn't what fate had in store for you.

"Good."

Orochimaru's grip slackened, and he let you fall past his fingers until your knees hit the floor with a hard thump. You stared down at the wood with wide eyes, wondering how everything had changed so fast. Just this morning you'd discovered that today was your birthday, and Kakashi was making you pancakes with the kids. And not even two hours had passed.

Kakashi knelt in front of you with little concern about Kabuto or Orochimaru. You couldn't bare to look at him—not after he'd seen what Orochimaru could do to you. At how quickly you'd let him erase months of progress.

You felt hesitant, careful fingers brushing against your cheeks, and when you didn't react to the touch, Kakashi pressed his hands on either side of your face and lifted it so that you were forced to meet his eyes. It was a much gentler way of meeting your eyes, and you felt a deep sense of longing for it.

"I'm sorry," you croaked, "I tried."

He shook his head, brushing his thumb under your eye to keep a tear from falling. He was close enough that you knew Kabuto and Orochimaru wouldn't be able to see the movement, but neither were paying attention to the scene. Kabuto was waiting impatiently for Orochimaru to become bored with the emotional display, but Orochimaru was silently standing a few steps from you, barely paying attention to what the scene.

"Don't do this," Kakashi whispered. You wondered if you could trap the sound of his voice in your mind and hold on to it while you rotted away in the depths of the Red Room, "we can protect her."

"I know we can," you said back with a slight smile. You pressed a hand against his and closed your eyes, wondering why you hadn't accepted this kindness from him earlier. Maybe you would've gotten more of it before it was ripped away. Enough that it would take longer to forget the feeling of how warm his hand felt against your skin. But you knew that the feeling would slip away before you were ready to let it go, "just make sure she doesn't blame herself for this."

"I can protect you both," he pleaded. Your breath hitched, though it sounded more like a broken sob. Kakashi's face fell even further.

No one had ever protected you. No one had ever been given the chance. And no matter how much you wished it, Kakashi wouldn't be able to either.

"Take care of them."

Some ancient writers tried to come up with a rational explanation for the myth of the Hydra. Heraclitus, for example, suggested that the Hydra really had only one head, but was accompanied by its numerous brood—that is, the Hydra was really many snakes rather than a single many-headed snake.

"One of your doctors is a Widow," Orochimaru told Kakashi from the doorway, "her name is Shizune. She's the reason that Sakura's examinations weren't conclusive. You'll be able to get answers from her after six months have passed. In those six months, I won't have any use for Sakura, so unless you come looking for me or my Widows, she won't be in danger."

"Absolutely not. That's not what we agreed–"

"You have no bargaining power," Orochimaru snapped, looking down on Kakashi like the man was an ant that he wanted to crush. You shrunk away from him and back towards Orochimaru to avoid any further retaliation against either of you. Kakashi's hands fell from your face as you leaned away, and you tried not to feel like you were ripping yourself away from the only chance you'd ever had at happiness.

"Forget the Red Room and any connection you and Sakura have to it, and you won't ever have to see it again."

You were hesitant to look at Kakashi again, but the fury on his face when you did left you paralyzed.

Was that anger for Sakura?

Was it for you?

"Understand one thing," Kakashi said lowly, eyes alight with an unfamiliar rage, "I'll never forget this. And one way or another, I'll see you again."

"If that days comes," Orochimaru said with a dark smile, lips split like an open wound, "it'll be your last moments alive."

A sharp sting in your neck finally made you look away from Kakashi. His eyes widened when your body went slack and you fell to the side. He reached forward and caught your head before it could hit the floor, but his hand quickly disappeared when you were lifted into less gentle arms. You recognized the grip as Kabuto's, and despite your best efforts to stay conscious enough to be aware of your surroundings, darkness quickly swallowed your vision.

The Hydra's one immortal head was cut off with a golden sword given to Heracles by Athena. Heracles placed the head—still alive and writhing—under a great rock on the sacred way between Lerna and Elaius, and dipped his arrows in the Hydra's poisonous blood.

The last thing you saw was Kakashi, out of focus and still kneeling on the ground with his hands resting on the floor in front of him. Darkness prevailed, and freedom slipped through your fingers.

(previous chapter) | (next chapter) | (series masterlist)

Author's note | i'm sorry this chapter took me so long. i rewrote the end after i had it basically finished because i didn't love how it turned out, but i think i'm happy with how it ended up. it also ended up being very long oops. please let me know what you think!

also if you're interested please check out the spotify playlist linked with the summary. i'm lowkey obsessed with it.

title is from "Timefighter" by Lucy Dacus

#kakashi #kakashi x reader #kakashi x you #kakashi x y/n #kakashi imagine #kakashi hatake #kakashi hatake x reader #kakashi hatake x you #kakashi hatake x y/n #kakashi hatake imagine #naruto #trr #emwrites

70 notes · View notes