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All seven Sinbads’ djinn equips. They are fabulous *__*

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SH Month 2023 - Day 5 - Lips Against FIngertips

The Sacrifice – Part 2

TW:Gore(?)

Part 1

Sasuke POV

He does remember her. Pretty and shy, and his.

The girl’s tears are running down her cheeks, wetting his fingers. Her eyes are glossy and scared and he feels…the tiniest bit of remorse, for having scared her, for having held her face so roughly. He just forgot. It’s been a long time since he’s last seen her. It happens, immortal creatures cannot remember everything.

She looks the same as last time, perhaps younger than he had ever seen her before.

He runs his other hand through silky long midnight hair. She flinches despite the gentle touch. He does it again, staring at each individual hair strand as it falls.

A frown appears on his face the longer he looks at her. The more he remembers her.

She’s small and fragile and mortal and he has seen her die once and that is one too many times.

Letting go of her face, he shouldn’t have dragged her here. Hinata’s whole body is shaking in fear. She’ll have no power in her legs, she won’t be able to leave the mention on her own. Sasuke will have to take him outside himself. But he can’t.

“You can leave”

Nodding to himself. Yes. He did good. That’s all he can do.

Walking slowly back to his rock. Legs crossed, hands on his knees. Eyes closed. And he’s not here anymore. Yet he is here. In another time.

A time when thunder is roaring, cold rain is hitting him in the face, but he doesn’t mind it because he doesn’t care enough about himself to mind.

But his Hinata does. Her eyes widen and she runs to pull him away from the rock and the tree. And she’s looking at him with worry and love, telling him he’ll catch a cold. Which he cannot. But it’s too difficult to explain to her that so he nods and follows her inside.

The estate is bustling with people. It’s not in ruin. It’s homey. They live in one of the wings, together. Away from the peering eyes.

Sasuke stops in the doorway. And he watches as an image of himself, from the time when he hid his true form, from when he looked human, follow her in the warm room. He watches as she dries his hair with a towel and gives him a kiss.

And it’s all unfair. This all happened so long ago he can barely recall the year, he made it a point to forget. Because soon enough she’ll be gray and old and he’ll look the same. She’ll smile at him and hold his hand in small fragile old hands. She’ll take his hand and kiss his fingertips, and her lips against his skin are no longer soft as they were barely moments ago.

Hinata made him realize how ephemeral human life is. She was bright and beautiful, she loved him and for a moment he thought he could lover her too. But that is all it was a moment. He blinked, he took a short walk around the yard and she was too old to even eat.

She was a candle in the wind and he took his eyes off of her for a second only to find her snuffed out.

That’s when it happened. The night Hinata kisses his fingertips and told him she was sorry. Something happened that night something was wrong with him. His chest hurt and there was water leaking form his eyes.

And he was angry at all the others. At the laughter outside his window.

So he snuffed them out. He needed silence.

The present Sasuke, meditating, is transported to that moment. And he watches his past self rip the individuals limb by limb. He watches him weep and scream in agony, not even knowing what all of those are.

He watches him stop. Take a step back to see what he had done. Sees his eyes widen as he runs away from the bloody hallways, to their room. Where his Hinata is, pretty grey hair, eyes closed. And he holds her in his bloody arms for what feels like a moment.

But his eyes open and she no longer looks…human.

More water leaks from his eyes. And he has to let her go. Has to let them all go. Bodies buried in this very yard. And he slowly falling into a slumber, only awoken each time someone dares to disturb him.

So when present Sasuke opens his eyes to see a young Hinata still on the floor, shaking. Staring at him. He knows he cannot do it again. She’ll die too soon too.

Hinata POV

Fear and panic paralyzes Hinata still, even as the…creature walks away from her. Her eyes won’t move from him, she cannot help it.

He appears to be…in pain. And for some unknown reasons her chest hurts and she has the impulse to go to him. Thankfully she cannot move.  

His eyes open once more, cold and unfeeling, but a single tear falls down his cheek.

“Leave”

The word holds much authority, but it is also a plea.

As if finally awoken from a dream, her body listens to her. She is up and running away from the house. But there is part of her that forces her to look back, at the dragon, to see him with his eyes closed again, fingertips against his lips.

Her eyes stay on his hand that then extends towards her, almost as if he’s sending the kiss her way.

A chill runs down her spine and she trips and falls. But he does not open his eyes. Trembling hands on the wall, she pulls herself back up and finally leaves the estate.

~

@sasuhinamonth

[dianapana]

SH Month 2023 Day 4 – First Touch

The Sacrifice – Part 1

Hinata POV

She never enjoys going out to meet with the ladies from the other families. Always prefers spending time by herself, locked in her room reading and getting lost in the world of a good novel.

But her father sends her at the ladies’ meetings either way. ‘Do not let the other clans think less of us because of your absence’ but what he doesn’t know is that they already do. They think less of her, bully her, and she never stands up for herself.

At the start it was hurtful, by now it is routine. It’s easier to just let them laugh and push her around than it would be to try and do something only to annoy them more.

However…the ladies too are getting bored of her lack of reply. So, their tactics changed lately, they pull her hair, trip her, one of them even ‘mistakenly’ ripped her kimono. He disheveled appearance is starting to raise suspicions.

Deciding that she finally had enough and adding the fact that the bullying intensified anyway, she is no ready to stand up for herself!

And she did, last meeting she chewed them all a new one. When one of them tried to trip her she kicked her foot, making that lady fall. They gasped and Hinata panicked for a second internally. But she stood her ground still.

So she expected things to be better this time, they saw how tough she is actually!

…But…

“She’s from the bravest clan. I’m sure the old tales don’t scare her.”

“Yes! Go Hinata, when we were playing with the temari ball it rolled all the way into the yard. Go retrieve it. You’re the toughest of us all”

They’re walking, or more like she is being pushed, towards the old haunted house.

Centuries ago, the mightiest clan all fell one night, the village mourned and placed flowers at the gate of the mansion, but during the night someone painted each white lily red with the blood of the fallen.

People say that a demon did it, that it was the one to kill them all. Nobody dared enter, all the bodies were left there to rot. One brave boy among the crowd said he doesn’t fear the demon, that the bodies need to be properly buried and ventured into the house.

But he came back empty handed. He said there’s no body to be found in the estate.

Even now the tale is sill very much alive, the house has not been lived in since. Some people have went inside only to tell horrific tales of red eyes watching them from the shadow of a tree, eyes that pull them in, eyes that have bloody intent.

“The temari ball was a gift from my father. It’s so so important”

“We would go but we’re scared. But you’re really brave, aren’t you?”

Neji would laugh at them, at the teasing of 16 year old ladies. He would laugh at her for not being able to say no and leave.

They push her further, one of the girls has her hand on the door, she’s shaking. Two other girls push her in and they close the door behind her.

She’s scared. Turning around, trying to open the door but it won’t budge. The ladies on the other side are laughing.  

Sasuke POV

He felt it, the moment the door opened. Eyes opening. Legs uncrossed from under him. He was perfectly still like a statue sitting atop a rock under a big cherry tree.

Bare feet paddling on the cold and dusty wooden floors, dragging sounds come from behind.

There’s a soft and familiar fragrance in the air the closer he gets to the front door.

Frowning at his own unfamiliar feelings. His heart beating a bit faster.

How many years have passed since he last saw a human? He doesn’t know. Time is not a concept he can grasp.

The house appears to be in worse shape than last time he opened his eyes.

The floors creak.

Coming to a halt the moment his eyes fall upon a small figure. Crouched to the floor, crying, breathing heavily, hands over her head, head buried in her knees.

Taking one step closer, the floor creaking. Lilac eyes looking up at him through tears. Her mouth open, perhaps to scream but fear paralyses her. She cannot scream.  

She looks familiar, but he’s still not fully awake, and his eyes are blurry.

Walking closer to the girl, he can hear laughing on the other side of the door.

He bangs on it loud and hard. “SILENCE”

The other mortal girls scream, they run away. Leaving this one behind for him. An offer? A sacrifice from the village to appease him? It was about time.

Arm extended, hand gripping the neckline of the girl’s kimono, dragging her into the yard where the moonlight shines so he can see her better.

There’s this voice in the back of his head telling him that he knows her.

The girl is now shaking and violently crying.

Her face hidden away, looking the floor.

Crouching, annoyed, his hand gripping the girls’ face. It’s his first time touching a human in centuries, he forgot how…soft and meek they are.

Girl flinching slightly at the touch, her cheeks will have fingerprint-like bruises.

Pretty face illuminated by the moon.

He does remember her.

“Hinata”

Hinata POV

Her fear rendered her unmoving, she isn’t even crying anymore. Eyes opening up, looking into the red eyes of the…creature.

He looks human enough, but he has black horns that turn red at the tips, his ears are pointy, there are black and red scales on his neck, a big and heavy tail behind him.

…

A d-dragon?

~

Autor Note: For a somewhat depiction of what I mean about Sasuke’s form in this story look up ‘Imbibitor Lunae’ from Honkai Star Rail, aka the 5 star version of Dan Heng. That’s where I kinda took inspiration from. Pretty dragon boy.  

~

@sasuhinamonth

[dianapana]

SH Month 2023 Day 3 - A Glance that reveals everything

Day 3 - A glance that reveals everything

Hinata POV

Everyone walking around in a frenzy. The other clan heads are meant to arrive soon enough.

Yet another clan gathering she must attend. Yet another clan gathering in which she will be simply treated as a pretty girl that the old man can ask for drinks despite being the heir of her clan.

Her grandfather, father and cousin are all discussing important clan information while she is in the room over, having her hair brushed, her lips dusted with red and her kimono arranged properly.

It’s infuriating. The way in which she’s not treated fairly.

Often she has good ideas, helpful ideas she wishes to share but the moment she opens her mouth someone cuts her off.

Too scared to talk to her father. Too scared to ask to be treated at least equally with Neji. She isn’t even given the proper education as future head.

“Hinata-sama, you look stunning”

It’s always the same. They praise Neji for his mind and abilities, while they praise her beauty and silence. As a child she basked in any sort of praise, but the older she got the more it bothered her.

“One last detail and you are ready”

They’re placing a beautiful pin into her hair.

“This belonged to your late mother”

The servants start gushing around her, one talking after the other.

“She wore it at her engagement with your father”

“She was just as beautiful as you are today”

“She would have loved to see you my lady”

…What? Alerts going off in her head. Why are they talking this way? What’s going on?

Heart pounding suddenly. But she can’t ask the servants because the door opens and her Father tells her it’s time. That she should come join them.

Her mouth is dry. Something’s wrong. She can feel it now. Their gazes are all weird.

No, no. She’s imagining it. It’s all the same. It’s all the same.

Standing up on unsteady legs. Her father reaches out for her. He never does that. He never holds her hand.

Looking at the extended hand. Why?

“It’s time to go Hinata”

Eyes up onto him. He looks…kinder. He never looks kind. He never interacts with her that way.

Letting out a shaky breath. Her eyes feel teary.

“Daddy?” Trembling voice. She hasn’t called him that since she was 6.

“It’s time to go” he repeats himself.

They’re stuck. In the door. She’s not moving. Not breathing.

There is noise coming from the front door. They’re here.

“Daddy?”

Asking again. Begging him to tell her what’s happening. To say anything.

Sasuke POV

His father is a bit…annoyed. The Hyuuga Elder and Neji have been trying to act like this is how things were meant to go. But the Head isn’t present so that’s an obvious lie. The future bride is not there so that’s an obvious lie once again.

He found out about the engagement 2 weeks ago. But it really doesn’t have much to do with him. It is his brother’s wedding after all.

Itachi smiles politely and is the one keeping the conversation light from the Uchiha side.

“The Wedding should take place at the Uchiha estate. Hinata will after all be welcomed within our clan. So, it just makes sense to do it there.”

There’s a silent fight going on between his father and the Hyuuga elder after that statement. He’s bored. Yawning, not even bothering to hide it.

Looking outside, it’s rainy and gloomy. Very fitting for this meeting too.

Finally, the door opens. The Hyuuga head enters. Alone.

Sasuke takes this opportunity to sit up as well, asking a servant in the room about a bathroom. Asking loud enough for others to hear so they know why he got up, but quiet enough so he appears to be discreet; as if he doesn’t mean to disturb the meeting.

Walking down the halls ‘looking’ for the bathroom. He can hear soft murmurs from one of the rooms. Steps coming closer and closer to the door.

Hinata Hyuuga opening it, glossy eyes. Ruined lipstick, her pretty kimono has a red stain on her sleeves.

Their eyes meet for a second and he can see it. The unwillingness. This is no happy future bride.

The eye contact is cut short by the girl turning away from him, running towards the back door. Holding onto the kimono so she doesn’t trip over it.

Unsure why he follows closely behind her. Watches the girl step barefoot outside in the muddy rain, ruining the expensive fabric even further. He doesn’t know what the girl is trying to achieve. A ruined kimono won’t stop the wedding.

The servants come from the room, a bit too late. They all gasp at the sight of Hinata.

Sasuke follows her still. He did stop to put shoes on, unlike her.

The rain is pouring and it only makes things more difficult for her, the already heavy fabric gets wet and she can barely move. He sees it happening in slow motion, as she trips and falls face first onto the ground.

Almost on instinct he runs to catch her, hand extended gripping the liliac kimono, but it’s wet and it slips through his fingers, Hinata falls with a big splash.

Cringing internally at the thought of having mud all over his face. He crouches next to her and helps her up, wiping her face.

“You ok?”

She can’t be. But still…

Her eyes are closed and he thinks for a second she has mud in them, but they open and they’re just…so defeated.

It feels wrong to see her this way, it’s so intimate and totally not his place.

She clears her throat and lets out a tiny ‘thank you’

He looks away from her face. She’s just so expressive, everything she feels is so easily deduced. For him at least.

Her hands are gripping fist-fulls of mud.

“Maybe we should…go back to the estate?”

But eh feels that was a mistake the moment her breath hitches and her shoulders shake.

Looking up at him. “Is it you?”

He doesn’t understand.

“Is it you? The one he sold me to?”

…

He feels…oddly shaken by her question. By her tone. By the use of the word ‘sold’.

Unsure what possessed him, he nods.

Finally, his brain catches up with what he did. “I mean to my family. Not me, me”

Clearing his throat too, he reaches for her hand, trying to be unbothered by the mud. He’ll wash his hands. It’s fine.

“Let’s go back. Before they see you”

It seems the girl’s flight left her, she simply nods and follows behind. He’s holding the muddy hand of Itachi’s future wife. The rain helps clear away some of it at least…

He walks Hinata back to her room and he leaves the Hyuuga estate to go home. He can hardly sit into the meeting drenched and muddy.

Hinata’s eyes haunt him for days to follow. His father bad mouths the Hyuugas. Itachi tries to calm him down. He’s going on and on about how they can’t appreciate the favour he is doing them letting one of theirs be the wide of the future Uchiha head.

…

“Maybe I should marry her”

He says one random day, over a week since the incident. His father, mother and Itachi all staring at him in shock.

He shrugs.

“Or not…

I’m her age. Maybe she would find that…more comfortable.”

~

@sasuhinamonth

[dianapana]

very sexy indeed

[dianapana]

SH Month 2023 Day 2 - Home is where you are

Hinata POV

Hands in her lap, fidgeting, she’s crumpling and creasing her pretty and formal shirt, but the nerves are too much for her and she needs to let them out in some way or another.

Raising her hand to her mouth, another nervous tick, biting around her nails (not the nails while she has a pretty design on them) but she then realizes her hands are probably filled with germs from the plane and the luggage and everything, so she puts them back down.

“First time flying?”

The kind old lady sitting next to her asks.

“Oh, no, no it’s not.”

Smiling shily at her. The lady justifies her question by saying she looks awfully nervous.

“Ah yes. It’s my first time flying without my husband. He was supposed to come too, but his work got in the way so now I’m going alone and he’ll join me in a few days and it’s all just…very scary”

She talked really fast, somewhere in the middle she became aware of it but couldn’t really stop so she just went on and on.

“We’re moving. Because of my work and he kinda gave his 2 month notice and now they’re freaking out at his office and making him stay overtime and we’re going to look at places to move into and we have a few showings even before he’ll arrive so I’ll have to go all alone and decide if that’s a good fit for us in the long run and-”

The Lady laughs at her and pats her shoulder.

“I am sure whatever home you and your husband choose will be wonderful.”

Very polite way of ending the conversation. Hinata nods a bit awkwardly.

Getting her phone out, should she call Sasuke? Now before the flight starts and they won’t be allowed to anymore. But he may be in a meeting.

Deciding to send him a short text instead.

‘We are leaving in a few moments. I’ll turn my phone off. I love you’

Sasuke POV

He’s quite annoyed.

This? This is why he couldn’t go with Hinata to Berlin? This???

It’s a stupid meeting that could have been an e-mail. It’s a stupid meeting about a project that will start AFTER he leaves.

Checking his phone for the time. He couldn’t even wait with her in the airport because it was just sooo important that he is present here.

He has a text from Hinata. From 28 minutes ago. Her flight must have left already. So they won’t be able to talk for the next 8 hours.

The meeting finally concludes. What was discussed? He has no idea because he paid no mind to anything. Had the CEO not been a really important family friend he would have just left. Quit on the spot. He’s regretting not having done that.

Hinata POV

They’re facetiming. She’s walking him through the first apartment.

“It feels a bit small. Especially compared to our current place”

But they live at a house now so it feels a bit unfair to compare the two.

“I do like that it’s so close to my work though. And it’s on the last floor. So nosy neighbours above. But yea I just feel like something’s missing”

Sasuke hums. “If you don’t like it then it’s a no go”

“It’s not that I don’t like it…The bathroom is very beautiful and big. Here let me show it to you again”

The realtor is waiting on the hall, she was here with Hianta explaining everything 10 minutes ago but then she called Sasuke and they started speaking Japanese so she slowly exited and gave them privacy.

They talk for a bit more. But nothing remains. Sasuke says that she shouldn’t worry too much, that this is the first place she sees.

“Make a list. Of the pros and cons. We’ll do the save for all of them and see in the end what’s best”

“I will…I just…I wish you were here”

“I do too love…”

*

The second place is a bit more her style. It’s big and pretty. It’s a house. But it’s outside Berlin and it would take her over 50 minutes to commute to work every day.

“Yea…that is a bit of an issue. Especially since my new job is also in a different part of the city. We’ll need two cars…”

“Are you still looking at what other things are around my office?”

Sasuke has a job lined up. From his company but the Germany branch. He’s not totally sold on it because of how far away he and Hinata would work. They were used to having lunch dates daily. So he’s looking for things that may be closer to her.

“I saw an offer from your company actually. I applied there. It would nice if we were to work in the same place”

“It really really would”

The conversation turns to the house again and she’s complaining about the lack of any supermarket or convenience store within walking distance.

“I can’t wait for you to get here. Did you pack yet?”

“I did. I’m just now eating the last things in the fridge that may go bad in the 2 weeks we’ll be gone”

Sasuke POV

He told her it’s not necessary for her to wake up at the crack of dawn (4 a.m.) to come greet him at the airport. But when he walks through the entrance an sees her there he’s not surprised at all.

Her smile is so wide when she finally sees him too and she’s running. Gosh he missed her too. And they were away for only 4 days.

“Hello baby” caressing her hair softly and placing a sweet kiss onto pretty lips. “I missed you”

She’s hugging him very close. “I did too. Come, let’s go sleep I’m sure you’re tired from the flight”

He really is.

*

“So…do we have a tour today? Where’s this house located?”

They end up seeing another 3 houses and 5 more apartments and none of them are perfect. And the more they see and the more complaints they have the more upset Hinata gets.

“It’s my fault that we have to uproot from home and come here and and-

We can’t even find a good home…”

She’s sitting on his lap, face buried in his shoulder. She’s not crying but probably frustration tears aren’t far behind.

“I think we’re getting hunged up on the small details. At the end of the day…it’s just a house we’re viewing and it’s out job to make it a home.

At the end of the day, we’ve been in this tiny hotel room for almost 2 weeks, but doesn’t it feel like home by now?”

He’s hugging her closer, pressing soft kisses on the top of her head. Fingers going up and down her back.

“I’m sure whichever house we go for it’ll all turn out well. They were all pretty. And they’re even better when I think that I’ll spend all my time there with you. So, cheer up…I don’t like seeing you upset over such things Hina”

Raising her head, pretty lavender eyes looking into black ones, her lips pouting. He can’t help giving them a quick peck.

“Maybe you’re right…home is wherever you are…”

~

@sasuhinamonth

[dianapana]

SH Day 1 – Waiting for you – Right person wrong time

Hellos, I am once again back from the dead. I wrote this day a bit in advance, but for the rest of them I may be a bit slow. I'll still try my best! Have a wonderful SH month Everyone!

~Love Dia.

TW: Unfulfiled love

~

“Was it a bad day?”

Hinata’s hand extended to tuck some of his bangs behind his ear. His face is red and sweaty, hair sticking to it. He’s beyond drunk. The owner of the bar contacted her asking for someone to come retrieve the buzzed gentleman.

But Sasuke does not wish to leave yet.

So here she is, an unsuspected Wednesday night having a drink with him too.

“You could say so”

Muttering, his head barely held up by his hand on his cheek. Eyes closed.

“Work related?”

Sasuke is a private detective. So even when he does have bad workdays, he can never truly vent to her. He has way too many signed NDAs for that. A simple nod from the man tells her that there will be no further questions from her.

Moving her stool a bit closer to his. Caressing his back softly, guiding his head onto her shoulder. She can’t give him more comfort that this. Letting him know she’s there. That’s who they are, who they’ve always been since university when they met through some common friends.

Friends, best friends, the closest of friends.

“Come. Let’s go. I’ll take you to my place.”

Probably he does not want to be alone for today.

Sasuke stumbling to sit up. “Won’t that be an issue?”

A genuine and reasonable question. Her boyfriend has made a few comments about her friendship with Sasuke, shown jealousy. Tiny frown on her lips.

“It’s alright. He won’t” shaking her head vehemently. She’s unsure but won’t think about it now.

It hurts that now there are such questions that need to be asked when they used to simply show up at each other’s place without a second guess. She could take him to his place, knows his pin code, has a key to it. But…

*

Hinata is preparing breakfast for both of them, Sasuke probably still asleep in the bed, or if he is awake he’s dealing with a huge hangover. She did leave some ibuprofen and water on the nightstand for him.

As she pours the egg mixture in the pan to make some scrambled eggs, she can hear the shower running. So, he’s awake.

“How are you feeling? You were quite drunk yesterday.”

He’s putting a white t-shirt on, already has on sweatpants. Yes, he has multiple clothing items at her place.

“I feel oddly fine.” His head is killing him, Hinata looks at him with a knowing gaze. She remembers how badly he reacts to alcohol the next day, have seen it all in university. He too knows how she acts when drunk.

They’ve both seen each other at their highest, were there holding the other’s hand when they got their dream job, got the scholarship money they needed and so on. But they were there just the same when they were at their low, failed grades, evictions from dorm rooms due to some fights with roommates.

But most importantly, they were there at each other’s lowest. When Neji was killed in an accident by a drunk driver, when Sasuke’s father almost lost his life on duty as a police officer.

No matter how many partners either of them went through, Hinata is still his emergency contact, she’s the one his phone calls automatically when pressing the unlock button three times.

“Here; have some food. It may help”

*

Hinata is a high school English and art teacher, thankfully her university roommate Sakura also works at the school as the nurse so they always eat lunch together.

Today Sakura seems to be flinching and acting odd, she opens up her mouth multiple times but does not say anything. Hinata observes and lets it go for a while, but even her patience does not last forever.

“What’s wrong?”

Green uncertain eyes looking at her.

“I’m not supposed to tell you this.”

???? “Umm…ok?” confused, but if Sakura can’t tell her, who is she to insist.

“But I feel like I should!” Frustrated hand through pink hair.

“I’ll tell you. But you can’t blame me for ruining the surprise, ok? I just…I just feel like you should know…”

“Umm…ok” Same answer as before. Hinata’s anxiety raising too. What could Sakura know that is tormenting her so?

“Ok.” Multiple nods. “Here it goes.

…

Kiba is going to ask you to marry him.” Whisper-scream from the woman and then she covers her mouth, as if she cannot believe herself the words she just let out, somewhat regretting having told Hinata.

Her own heart beating at a rate that is truly scary. She’s happy, of course she is. She loves him, why else would she be dating him? But…but there’s still a tiny part of her that feels…sad.

“That’s amazing” Finally answering the secret. Putting her sadness away. She’ll deal with it at another time.

Hand over her heart. “That’s amazing”

Sakura’s shoulders relax. “It is! I just- I know that…”

But she doesn’t say anything after. There’s no need for her to. Hinata knows what she means. They talk about it more. Hinata asks her how she knew, Sakura tells her how Kiba ask her to take Hinata to get her nails done by the end of the month, and that she knows what that means. That she told him congratulation and he blushed shyly but proudly.

*

Home at the end of her day, eyes closed as she lays in bed. The room still smells of booze a bit, but mostly it smells of Sasuke.

She can’t help but think of their university days. Their last year, when she finally became aware of her feelings for him. When she’d look at him for seconds too long, think of him even when he was not there.

How one time when it was just them, when her head was resting on his shoulder she almost reached over to hold his hand. But fear is a much stronger feeling for her than love ever was. She feared rejection, feared ruining their 4 year long friendship.

They’ve also each dated multiple people throughout their friendship, how there was almost never a time period in which both of them were single. That each time she almost got the courage to do something she’d cower in fear. So, she just waited. Waiting for him to give her a signal, waiting for him to make a move. And it just never happened.

She was still waiting until 2 years ago when she met Kiba, when she started dating him casually, but now…now he’s the one she calls first after a hard day. He’s the one she thinks about the most.

Hands covering her face. Fading unfulfilled love is not what she thought her and Sasuke would turn into.

*

Hinata is melancholic and thinks about all of their interactions for the following few days. So when Sasuke calls her, asking her to come over she still has all those thoughts into her mind.

Arms around him the moment the door opens. Sasuke taken aback, chuckling. Asking ‘Did you miss me that much’ jokingly. But when she doesn’t reply his heart rate spikes up, pushing her slightly to look at her face, a few unshed tears into her eyes.

“Hinata? What’s wrong?” Cubbing her cheek, wiping her tear away with his thumb.

Her eyes closed, heart heavy and confused. Fear makes her fingertips numb, but she cannot back down now, she needs to know, it’s important. She cannot answer Kiba’s question with a truthful and enthusiastic ‘yes’ unless they talk about this, unless they move on.

“I loved you” Her words echoing into the hallway. A moment of silence that urges her to open her eyes and look up at him, he has a sad smile on his lips.

“I know. I loved you too”

Her whole body is tingling, shocked. “What?”

Sasuke caresses her hair and pulls her into a hug.

“I didn’t know all along. I suspected at times, but then you’d turn around and do things that made me believe I was a narcissist for thinking you might feel the same. I was waiting for you to say or do something, tell me I wasn’t wrong.

But time went on and…well…”

Her mouth wide open, fist clenched, and she hit his shoulder. “I was waiting for YOU!”

More frustrated with both of them than anything else.

“By the time I realized that perhaps my feelings were indeed reciprocated, so many things happened, so much time passed and it felt like a shame…to change”

Looking at him somewhat in disbelief.

“Kiba asked me to marry him” He didn’t yet but that’s just details. “I said yes” she didn’t yet but she will.

Sasuke’s smile dims a bit, but he hugs and congratulates her nevertheless.

They remain in a hug for a long time before she breaks the silence.

“We both said loved. In the past”

“I still love you, but it is different now…”

Small nod. She agrees. She feels the same. The feelings faded in time, no longer having a romantic aspect to them.

They both waited for each other, but the wait was just too long

~

@sasuhinamonth

[dianapana]

SasuHina Month 2022 - Day 4

Dor (Romanian)

“The emptiness and agony experienced upon missing someone or something.”

This particular prompt has a special meaning to me. I’m not sure if you are aware, but I am Romanina and the idea of ‘dor’ is something I grew up with, hearing it used in folk songs often, in poetry. I felt compelled to write for this, for it felt wrong not to. ‘Dor’ has many layers, to the point that it is understood as actual physical pain created by being apart from someone/ something/ somewhere that holds immense importance for you.

“Dearest Sasuke, I hope the battlefield is not as ruthless as the women here make it out to be. I can’t stand to listen to them talking about weapons, injuries, the horrors that you may be facing. How can they bare to talk about such topics during the șezătoare*? I always make excuses and leave when the discussion turns to this sour topic.

Nevertheless, I have taken up new hobbies to fill my time. While at șezătoare I started waving a blanket for you, a gift upon your return. I shall try to embryoid it too for you. The older women showed me and a few others the process for a few days, but now I am able to do it by myself.

I doubt I will go to șezătoare as often now, i prefer to work in our home, for it feels like you are still here with me.

I dearly await your return. A part of me hopes that you shall come back, long before I can finish the blanket”

“My dearest Sasuke, I was speaking to some of the other women, and they mentioned losing track of how many days since the departure and I felt alienated from them. How could that be true? I am painfully aware of each second. I felt every minute of every hour of all 62 days since you left.

The house feels empty, and I can’t help but cry daily lately. Your bed sheets have lost their smell. I keep cooking enough food for two people. You full plate hurts me each meal.

Please return home soon. I need to hold you in my arms, the world seems to be in chaos without you.

I finished waving the blanket and I have started the embroidery process; my fingers have been picked endlessly. They shall not heal till you are here to kiss the injury away, so for my sake alone, please return.”

“It has been 19 days since I last received a letter from you my dear. People look at me differently now, with pity and sadness in their eyes. They don’t dare utter the words, but I know what they think. But not I, for they are wrong. Their gazes shall not change my mind.

It has been 81 days since I last laid my eyes on you, since I watched you pack your bags and go to war. A war they started. A war you have fight in. Each day is harder to bear. But I am trying my best Sasuke…I am, for I know you too are doing your best.

You are busy and I understand the lack of reply. I will wait for it. For your letter will come, not only that; but, you shall deliver it yourself. I know that’s why there’s no reply. You wish to surprise me, you are on the way back home and I am waiting my love.”

“I threw away the calendar. How dare it move forward so many days in your absence? Summer is here and I despise it. You left at the beginning of the year. How could time be so cruel and continue as if my world did not pause?

I can no longer eat in your absence my love. The food turns to sand in my mouth, and it tries to kill me. It makes choke on its dryness, it tries to poison me, it wants to break my teeth. But it can’t do that if I do not eat it.

The other women tried to visit me last week, but I locked the door. They want to take your things, I know. They are thieves, they will take everything I have. They want to bury your belongings, those witches, to curse you so you do not return. But I shall not allow them to, I will protect you.”

“I fear I have fallen sick. The doctor says nothing is wrong, but he can’t possibly know better than I do. I can feel my heart failing me for it yearns of something that has been absent far too long.

I am in constant physical pain, as if someone continuedly twists a dagger in my heart. A turn of the dagger each moment, of each day, of each week and month. The agonizing pain does not allow me to sleep.

Even if it did, I wouldn’t sleep, for they are watching me. Waiting for me to close my eyes so they can take you from me. The witches, they come by often.

My love…I fear I can’t hold on much longer. I wish you would write back. I wish you would return. I wish the war would stop. I wish I were there, for the battlefield with all its horrors is more appealing to me than being here without you.

The walls of our house mock me. They laugh at my pain. I can hear them daily. I no longer am able to lay in our bed, I have taken refuge in the closet, surrounded by your clothes. I am scared to take them out of the enclosed space, they will lose your scent.

I have woven and embroidered you shirts and vests. And my dearest creation, the blanket, oh how cold you must be now that winter is approaching. Come so, your blanket can keep you warm my love. The pattern I worked is you, us. I look at it daily wishing for the face on the blanket to come alive.

You must return my dear, for I am fading away, and what disaster would it be, if you were to come home and I would be a ghost.”

“They said you have died my dear. What liars. What witches. It all a ploy. They want to make us believe we are weak. The enemy is here in this village, and they are spewing lies.

You must return Sasuke. You must protect me from their words, for each one is a stone and I am bruised and beaten already.

The enemy came in my sleep to our house my love and they tore it down and built another. This is not our home anymore, so I must leave. I shall wait for you in the snow at the village gate. I have taken your blanket with me so we can both be warm when you arrive.

Come quickly my love for it cold out here,

Love Hinata.”

A lot of the folk songs I mentioned are from the war period depicting how the women left behind grieved waiting for their lovers to return. I hope I managed to depict the depth of ‘dor’ it is often translated as ‘missing someone’ but it goes beyond that.

Also, to explain the little * aka ‘șezătoare’ in English i guess it would be translated as ‘seat/sitting’ but it's an archaic word seldom used. It was a common happening in older times. Everyone from the village would gather in a destinated place and they would talk, gossip even make important decisions as a village (so it served a social and political purpose) Most of the discussions happen while women wove blankets and men would practice woodworking.

@sasuhinamonth

[dianapana]

SasuHina Month 2022 - Day 3

Commuovere (Italian)

“To stir emotion, to move to tears.”

Sasuke POV

It was a simple on the spot decision, I simply decided to return to my dorm room following another path. An insignificant change to a well-established 3-year routine that led me to pass by the music department at just the right time and day to hear it. A lonesome and agonizing tune played by a violin.

It started softly, sad but in a muted sort of manner. Witch each step I took the melody picked up, growing in intensity to the point that it conveyed the same emotion as a panic attack. My heart beat in tune with the sound matching it’s constant ascend. And then…it ended. Suddenly. All that was left was the fast ‘thump thump thump’ sound f my heart as it started to grow heavier.

I stopped in the middle of the hallways, unable to move, blink or even breathe. A few moments after the sound ended the door suddenly opened and our eyes met. You were crying, and upon seeing me you gasped and closed the door back robbing me of the view of your face.

I moved my eyes to the floor and noticed three droplets of water on the black flooring. Touching my cheek confirmed that I too had started crying at one point. The realization hurt my heart further. I clenched my jaw, trying to compose myself.

Hinata POV

            Nobody ever passed by there at that hour. I had been playing there almost daily for months and not even once had I seen another soul. Until one fateful day when I opened the door and was met with beautiful shining black eyes filled with tears. I couldn’t help but close back the door. I was embarrassed. ‘How much did he hear? Did he see I was crying too?’ Such thoughts entered my mind and made me wish to disappear.

            Nobody had ever heard my play. No...it was just a hobby, nothing that others should witness. As I was trying to make myself feel better ‘A stranger, we shall never meet again. He left I’m sure’ the door was opened suddenly.

            My eyes found yours as you were hurrying towards me. I felt like the pray, unable to move despite the imminent danger of the hunter. I could feel my hands shaking from the adrenaline.

‘What piece was that?’

Your voice did not match the intensity of your stare, it did not fit the frightening image I had of you. It was much too soft, to many emotions hid behind it.

‘It’s not…it’s not something at all…’

‘You wrote it?’

‘I did’ I felt slightly ashamed to admit it was something my mind came up with in the heath of the moment one summer day. A way to express the agony of losing an older brother. My way of letting the emotions free so they would not consume me.

‘Could you…play it again?’

Your request surprised me. I frowned and looked at you, wondering if this was a way for you to make fun of me. But desperation was the only thing I could see in your eyes.

I never performed in front of someone, not knowingly. How could I now? But my heart told me I have to. I walked back to where the instruments laid waiting to be used and started playing the very same tune again. Trying to forget that there was another heart beating int his room, that there was a pair of ears besides my own that could hear, a pair of eyes that watched me.

I got lost into the music and only opened my eyes at the end. Your eyes were down casted. Your shoulders shaking ever so slightly. I closed my eyes again and started the piece from the start. Again and again.

We were stuck there, in that room disconnected from the world, from reality. A room filled with the rawest sorrow from a sad song, and the tears of two people.

Didn't really know what to write for this day, so I opened Pinterest. saw a picture of someone playing the violin and was like 'yep. that's it'

@sasuhinamonth

[dianapana]

SasuHina Month 2022 - Day 2

Amaranthine (English)

“Everlasting and unfading; an eternal beauty.”

            “Hello, my name is Hisa Uchiha, and for today’s project I chose to bring and present my great great grandmother Hinata’s portrait” The small girl reads off of her sheet the speech her and her mother prepared last night.             “The portrait was commissioned by her husband, Sasuke. The portrait was painted by the very same artists that painted the Hogake’s portraits at the time!” Hisa stops and looks up at the other kids, all of them staring at the old, yet intact portrait.

*flashback*

Sasuke told her to dress in her favorite clothes. He told her to come wearing the tiara he got her for their wedding. Upon seeing her exit their chambers he smirked and walked over to her.

‘Lovely’ he said, cupped her face with his hands, leaned down slowly to kiss her lips. ‘Perfect’ he muttered as their lips touched. He continued to plaster her with compliments and soft kissed on her cheeks, forehead, even eyelids.

She giggled and looked up at him adoringly. ‘Where are we going?’ She couldn’t hide her excitement. He took her by the hand and led her through the city, deep into the forest, until they reached a place out of a fairytale. Beautiful, lush trees, all adored with colorful flowers in full bloom. A small stool was set in front of this scenery, and in front of said stool was a large canvas, larger than she could ever picture a canvas to be. As they got closer to the beauty of the view, a familiar face appeared behind the canvas.

‘Sai?’ she asked and turned to her newly husband. Sasuke squeezed her hand before explaining. ‘I asked him to paint you. I want a painting that will last forever.’

Hinata frowned not fully grasping what Sasuke meant. He smiled genuinely at her and brushed her bangs to the side. ‘The world needs to see your beauty. Oh, how tragic would it be if people in the future would not be aware of the fact that the sole perfect being existed. This painting, it will serve as proof that the Gods exist, that they have achieved perfection’

Witch each word, Hinata felt more shy, even more so due to the fact that Sai was witness to all of that. But Sasuke’s eyes were glittering, oh how excited he was, how could he deny him? She smiled, nodded and walked to the stool to strike a pose that shall be immortalized forever.

*end of flashback*

Hisa was shaking when she started the speech but now, she’s just excited to share all of the legends her mother told her countless times. Hisa lowers the sheet, not needing to read anymore. She knows every story by heart.

“The portrait has been passed down from generation to generation in my family. Over the years a number of legends explaining the reason why the portrait is as beautiful today as it was then started to emarge.

They say Hinata’s spirit was captured in the portrait, that her beauty and pureness cannot diminish over the years because her soul is eternal. Each year on the same day the portrait was painted, it’s said that Hinata escapes from the canvas and wanders the house, blessing everyone that sees her with eternal beauty and kindness.

The people that saw her in the past were enchanted by her laugh, by the way her white dress flows into the summer night breeze, the way she elegantly moves around the room, eyes closed, almost as if she was dancing.

Another reason for the painting not deteriorating over the years is that each night Sasuke’s spirit comes to marvel at the beauty of his wife. He is the one that maintains the painting, keeping it perfect even now. It’s said that this was the reason he commissioned the portrait in the first place, so he could come and look at it everyday for eternity, long after both he and his wife passed away, long after the world as he knew changed. Even when humanity as a whole will disappear, the portrait will remain the same”

Ended up writing another short thingy tonight. I am aware that these aren't really active stories, they are quite passive and static, even have a sadness attached to them but uk...a sad song will put u in this mood. Either way, I hope you enjoyed! Dia~

@sasuhinamonth

[dianapana]

SasuHinaMonth 2022 - Day 1

Aienkien (Japanese)

“A mysterious attraction that unites two people."

Our first encounter was the cliché type, the one you see in movies, and you roll your eyes because nothing like that happens in real life. But it did, to us. Our eyes met for a moment before proceeding to move on to the next thing, however the moment my brain caught up to what my eyes saw, I couldn’t help but turn around. And so did you.

No, I wouldn’t say so. It went deeper than that. It went against my disposition. I felt as If I had to go to you, as if all of this time I was unknowingly searching for you and now that you were finally there all was right in the world.

Almost as if pushed by the universe itself I took a step towards you, two steps, three. Eyes pinned on you as you stood still. Confusion was written all over your face. Did you feel the same way I did? Were you just as perplexed by the feeling?

My body continued to move on its own until I finally stood in front of you. Up close you were much smaller than expected, much lovelier. A sudden urge to crush you overcame me, the same feeling one gets when faced with a cute small animal that is just too adorable.

“Hello” I managed to get out, despite the dryness of my throat. You smiled and tilted your head to the side.

“Hello…?” “I’m sorry to bother you.” Mind blank. Now that I stood there, now that we were speaking…what could I say. What was it I wanted? “I- umm…my name is Sasuke” I reached my hand out to shake yours.

You rewarded me with a small giggle, mouth covered by your hand momentarily before reaching the very same one out to shake mine. “Hinata”

Before I could say anything else, from inside the shop a person called out to you. An older man, your father certainly. I had yet to let go of your hand and his eyes fell to where our skin met.

“Let’s go” Stern. One could not argue with such a statement, such an attitude. You softly shook off my hand and smiled before turning towards him.

The ease with which you were leaving me behind made me question this attraction I was feeling. Was it one sided? Was I imagining it? Had I bothered you? Created issues?

My mind was still in the idle of a complex process of self-analyzation when you turned around, flushed cheeks, a shy smile on your lips as you pulled out a business card from your pocket and handed over to me.

“It was lovely to meet you, Sasuke”

My name spoken by you felt divine. All my worries were washed away as I was met with your phone number on the piece of paper.

Even now, years later, as I look at you reading bed night stories to our children, as you joke with my brother, as we play board games with your friends, I feel the same force of the universe pushing me towards you. Willing my body to go join you on the armchair as we tuck in our babies. Coercing me to move closer to you, hold your hand while others are present.   Hello friends, sorry for the late and short contribution to this lovely event. If I’m being honest I did not think I would write anything at all this year sadly. I haven’t been in a writing/reading mood for months now but listening to a sad song on repeat made me think ‘might as well do something' I’m not gonna promise to write more, but I may try to continue writing now and see if anything else comes to me. I’m sending everyone love ad good vibes. I hope you all have a wonderful SH Month!

@sasuhinamonth

[dianapana]

Dude when i saw "Dor" there i got shivers. Idk its just something so special to find something from ur culture/language in an unexpected place. In a safe space.

SHMonth2022 Official Prompt List

Hello, SasuHina fans!

August is still months away, however, we’re proud to present this year's SHMonth Prompt List! It's been released early this year to allow fans to work on their projects at their leisure!

We appreciate your patience and your enthusiasm for everything SasuHina. The MOD Team hopes you enjoy this year's list! Each DAY contains two (2) prompt options. This avoids limiting our fans to a single thing on the daily. If they decide to use both prompts simultaneously, that’s also a choice. <3

(PLEASE DO NOT REPOST TO OTHER SITES.)

☾✩☽ SHMonth 2022 Prompt List ☾✩☽

Day 1

Aienkien (Japanese)

“A mysterious attraction that unites two people."

Amae (Japanese)

“To fall into the arms of your loved one.”

Day 2

Amaranthine (English)

“Everlasting and unfading; an eternal beauty.”

Basorexia (English)

“An unbearable urge to kiss.”

Day 3

Commuovere (Italian)

“To stir emotion, to move to tears.”

Depaysement (French)

“Intense homesickness; the sense of not belonging.”

Day 4

Desenrascanço (Portuguese)

“To find an unexpected and unusual way to solve a problem.”

Dor (Romanian)

“The emptiness and agony experienced upon missing someone or something.”

Day 5

Duende (Spanish)

“Profound awe at the beauty of stirring art, music, or performance.”

Duyen (Vietnamese)

“A predestined affinity that binds two people in the future.”

Day 6

Fernweh (German)

“Homesick for a place you’ve never been.”

Firgun (Hebrew)

“The genuine, unselfish delight or pride in someone else’s accomplishment.”

Day 7

Flâner (French)

“To stroll down the streets of Paris, implying no goal or destination, but purely the simple pleasure of soaking up the city’s beauty.”

Forelsket (Norwegian)

“The indescribable euphoria experienced as you begin to fall in love.”

Day 8

Fuubutsushi (Japanese)

“The memories of the season.”

Geborgenheit (German)

“The sensation of complete safety.”

Day 9

Goya (Urdu)

“The transporting suspension of disbelief that happens when fantasy is so realistic that it temporarily becomes reality.”

Hyggelig (Danish)

“The warm pleasure taken from gentle and comfortable things or activities.”

Day 10

Iktsuarpok (Inuit)

“The feeling of anticipation while waiting for someone to arrive, often leading to intermittently going outside to check on them.”

Jijivisha (Hindu)

“The strong, eternal desire to live and continue living.”

Day 11

Kachou fuugetsu (Japanese)

“Flower, bird, wind, moon.”

“Discovering yourself while experiencing the beauties of nature.”

 Kilig (Tagalog)

“The delightful sensation felt when something romantic takes place.”

Day 12

 Koi no Yokan (Japanese)

“A premonition sensed by two people that they will one day fall in love.”

Komorebi (Japanese)

“The light that filters through the tree leaves.”

Day 13

 Kyoka suigetsu (Japanese)

“Subtle and profound beauty that cannot be described in words.”

 Mamihlapinatapei (Yagan)

“The wordless, meaningful look shared by two people who both desire to initiate something, but are both reluctant to do so.”

Day 14

Merak (Serbian)

“The feeling of bliss and complete oneness with the universe, often due to the simple pleasures.”

Meraki (Greek)

“To put a little of your heart and soul in the things you do.”

Day 15

Metanoia (Greek)

“A journey that changes the heart, the mind, the self, or the way of life.”

 Mono no aware (Japanese)

“The pathos of things; the gentle wistfulness at the transience of things, and the awareness of the sadness of existence.”

Day 16

Mångata (Swedish)

“The road-like reflection of the moon on water.”

Nefelibata (Portuguese)

“A daydreamer that doesn’t obey the conventions of society.”

Day 17

Noroke (Japanese)

“Speaking with fondness about your loved one.”

Nunchi (Korean)

“The subtle and often unnoticed art of listening and gauging another person’s mood.”

Day 18

Nyctophilia (English)

“A love of the darkness.”

“A love of the night.”

Sareureuk (Korean)

“Melting snowflakes under morning sunshine.”

Day 19

Saudade (Portuguese)

“Deep yearning for someone you love but that is gone and may never return.”

“A nostalgic longing.”

 Sehnsucht (German)

“Painful desire for that which can and will never be.”

“A pained desire for the unattainable.”

Day 20

Setsunai (Japanese)

“The harrowing sensation between bittersweet, pain, and sadness.”

 Shinobi naku (Japanese)

“Silent tears.”

Day 21

 Sillage (French)

“The wake of someone’s perfume; the trail of someone’s scent in a room they used before you.”

Sisu (Finnish)

“To preserve with dignity.”

Day 22

Sobremesa (Spanish)

“The Spanish tradition of spending time after lunch or dinner socializing with the people you shared a meal with.” 

Sprezzatura (Italian)

“To master something with ease, nonchalance, genius.”

Day 23

Särbo (Swedish)

“A person who is romantically committed but is unmarried and living apart.”

Takane no Hana (Japanese)

“The unattainable flower.”

Day 24

 Toska (Russian)

“A sensation of great anguish, often without a specific cause.”

“An anguished longing for something unknown.”

Trasnochar (Spanish)

“To stay up all night long.”

Day 25

Tsukimi (Japanese)

“To view the moon.”

Tsundoku (Japanese)

“To purchase books, let them pile up, and not read them.”

Day 26 

Ubuntu (Ndebele)

“I find my worth in you. You find your worth in me.”

Vedriti (Slovenian)

“Taking shelter from the rain/storm.”

Day 27

Wabi-Sabi (Japanese)

“Finding beauty in imperfections. Peace within the natural cycle of growth and decay.”

Waldeinsamkeit (German)

“The feeling of solitude in the woods.”

Day 28

 Werifesteria (Old English)

“To wander longingly through the forest in search of mystery.”

Ya’aburnee (Arabic)

“A declaration in which you’d rather die first than to live without the one you love.”

Day 29 

Yeobi (Korean)

“The coexistence of rain and sunshine.” “A sunshower.”

Yoko Meshi (Japanese)

“The stress experienced when speaking a foreign language.”

Day 30

Yuánfèn (Mandarin)

“The fate between two people.” “The destiny that brings two people together.”

Zweisamkeit (German)

“Harmony/Resonance between two individuals.”

“Intimate affection between two individuals.”

Day 31

Free Day 

MOD: @fher43

@narutoevents

[dianapana]

SH Day 13- Dating Apps AU

Something a bit shorter today, ngl i'm very tired, today was a long rough day, but I still don't really wanna miss a day if I can help it. I'm unsure however if i'll be able to post tomorrow and Sunday due to family stuff, but we shall see. ~Love, Dia

Rated T, Modern AU, OOC

@sasuhinamonth

She’s the kind of person that brings her laptop to my bar for free wi-fi while wearing sweat pants despite it being the weekend and super crowded. The kind of person that brings her own sandwich and hot tea, rather than order them from me. I’ve never seen her with her hair down or any make-up on unless she had a date, and no matter what she brought her dates to my bar because I was her safety net. All she had to do was order a rum and coke and I’d make the date disappear.

Hinata appeared out of thin air one day a few months ago. In the beginning, I just thought she was another pretty face in the crowd. I took a liking to her early on and figured she’d be another girl in whose pants I’ll get when I’m bored, maybe something with a bit more duration like a friends-with-benefits sort of situation. But that never happened, because even when we were talking there was always a wall between us, her eyes were most of the time glued to her laptop. It used to annoy me but I’ve grown used to it.

I wouldn’t have minded had she been a workaholic, but she uses her laptop for dating sites, always looking for someone. Her dates never go well no matter how hard she looked. More often than not the guys look nothing like their pictures, or most of their pictures were groups and it was ini mini miny moe between which of the dudes she was actually talking to. Other times they look like the picture but act nothing like they did online, in text they were nice and considerate and in reality, they are rude and close-minded.

“Why is it so hard to find a decent guy?”

She always whines to me, while sipping tea from her pink mug, I’ve moved past explaining to her that this was a café, that she should order her drinks and food here rather than bring them. I think about her question and wonder if I enter her category of ‘decent guys’ I wouldn’t be surprised if I didn’t really make the cut, just like I’ve seen her billion dates she too was there to witness a few hook-ups, a few girls slapping me, and even me dumping girls whose names I had forgotten.

“Maybe you’re not looking in the right place”

“Right…What online dating site do you use Sasuke?”

We help eye contact for a moment and then both of us rolled our eyes. I knew she was joking; I have never used a dating app or site or anything and in my opinion, maybe she’d be a little luckier if she looked around herself in real life, of course when I say this, I mean myself. I’d be lying if I said her constant rejection didn’t intrigue me, but that’s not the only thing that somehow pulls me towards her. I find her day-to-day attire charming, her endless search for love a little idealistic. I got so used to seeing her every day that whenever it is past 1 p.m. and she isn’t here in her pj pants sitting on one of the stools I worry. Hinata actually lives in the building right next door so I often go and check on her. I also found the reason why she comes to the café, her apartment building has no wifi, according to her and most young people that’s a crime, but the price is only half of what she’d pay anywhere else in Konoha so, some sacrifices need to be made.

“Do you think I should stop looking for a while?”

She asks that after each disastrous date. If I’m being honest the more time passes the less I enjoy seeing her waltz around looking all dolled up, holding onto the arm of some random guy that by the end of the night turns out to be a creep. Usually, I answer her question by quoting some random rom-coms that she watches whenever she’s not updating her profiles on dating sites. But today something’s different, her laptop is absent, and her hair is down, but the mug and pj pants were present as usual. It’s a strange combination of both versions of her that I know. The lack of laptop tells me she has made up her mind to take a break, which I am happy about, but she needs some validation that her choice is correct so I say. “Maybe”

Hinata replies with a nod. She looks oddly out of place without typing and staring at the screen. It seems like she doesn’t know what to do with her hands or where to let her eye wander. I know I might regret my net words but I say them nonetheless.

“Maybe it’s time you rise your head from that screen and actually look around, maybe you’ll find someone to your liking” I of course secretly hope that person will be me. Her eyes move and she looks straight at my face for what feels like the first time. I know that’s not a fact but something in her gaze looks different today so I offer her one of my famous smirks. My eyes almost pop out of my head when she slightly blushes, I want to poke fun at her ask her if she finally came around to the idea of me, but that would ruin things. I need to be more than a date.

[dianapana]

SH Day 12- ANBU Black Ops

@sasuhinamonth

たえる Part 2 (taeru=to endure)

Part 1

Rated M, Ninja Universe that underwent some changes (you’ll see that I use major events in the canon world but there is a lot of history that’s altered), OOC (major OOC for Hinata especially)

Warning: self-harm, mental health, sexual harassment, trauma

Hello, dears, I play quite a bit with chronology in this chapter, I hope it's all easy to understand. I made moth things be during summer so around the time of the girl SH month which is why in all the cases you'll see Sasuke is 1year older than Hina, since his bday is in July and hers in December. I hope you enjoy, ~Love Dia

Sasuke, age 23

I think it’s fair for me to say that I’ve been through a lot, not many things shake me anymore and all the things that have made me worried in the past years have had something in common, they were all somehow related to Hinata. I remember when I woke up after the war, I was chained to a hospital bed, placed under a jutsu that blocked my chakra, I was missing a limb and I was on the verge of insanity once more. The only thing that calmed me down was her image. Even without my chakra I searched for hers. She too was in the hospital; I found her signature light purple chakra but it was so faint and small I almost missed it. Seeing her like that made me crazy with worry, once everyone left my room, I broke all the chains and dragged myself to her room despite the pain. I hadn’t thought of her as fragile since our reunion when she was 15. I could barely stand to see her that way, and even if I wanted to stay and watch over her for longer, I could feel Naruto’s chakra getting closer, which meant I had to leave. For the following weeks I could only go and see her late at night, for there was always someone in her room, Naruto, her father, her sister, some sort of nurse or medic. I recovered under a month, yet I stayed until she woke up.

I was the only one in the room when her eyes opened, she looked confused and for a moment I was sure she had amnesia and would not remember me, us. But for the briefest moment her eyes rested upon my figure and recognition was there, relief was there, gratitude, affection and many other nuances that I can never seem to read or fully comprehend reflected in her eyes. I took her hand and kissed the back of it, allowing myself a small selfish gesture before leaving the room to inform the medics she woke up. Sakura gave me a strange, questioning look when I told her Hinata had woken up, but I didn’t care about subtlety at that second, I just wanted them to check her for any issues, I wanted her to be physically fine.

She didn’t have many memories of the war when she was first questioned, but they came back in waves and waves. I could tell that the questions overwhelmed her, much like the people that littered around, there were over 10 visitors in her tiny hospital room, from her father to Naruto, Kiba and many others. I just watched the whole situation from outside her window. I noticed her looking around, searching for someone that wasn’t there. No, it wasn’t me, she knew I wouldn’t be there when other people were, I knew exactly who she was searching for, that’s why I wanted to be close by. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, I knew things would take a turn for the worse soon enough. I saw it, the exact moment the fog raised off of her memories, the moment in which reality hit her, the moment in which the remaining light in her eyes died.

She asked for Neji, Naruto cringed, her father was the one to inform her of his passing. She asked when the funeral was going to be and silence fell onto the room. Sakura tried to slowly explain that the war ended two months ago and all the dead were already long buried. Hinata cried, she cried for her fallen cousin, she cried for missing his funeral, she cried for herself. They all gave her hugs and condolences, they reassured her that none of that was her fault. They all expected her to mourn and soon enough bounce back to the façade she always kept around the people in the village. They were unaware of the emotional depth her sadness could reach. I knew their expectations would never be met, I could tell that the headspace she was in was similar to the night I found her on the forest floor, she had the same look in her eyes as when she constantly begged me to let her die. Knowing all of that, I expected her to make certain choices, yet, despite knowing what was to come, I was unable to help, there wasn’t a single moment in which she was alone for a week to come. And when it all happened, I panicked at the notion of her death and responded wrongly to her actions.

I wasn’t watching her when she attempted to kill herself, I was with Tsunade who kept insisting that I accept their fake arm. I was in the midst of refusing once more, when I could feel a commotion in her room, I left without a word and ran there. The image that was in front of me wasn’t surprising but it was just as heart-breaking. Hinata’s bed was covered in blood, her left wrist was being treated by Sakura but you could still see the long and slim-cut along her wrist, Naruto was holding her other arm trying to put pressure on her wrist to stop the bleeding. It scared me, the amount of blood on herself and the bed, her light-headedness and indifference indicated that she had been bleeding for a long time. She waited for a moment in which I wasn’t there either, she wanted to escape me too. Had Naruto and Sakura been late they might have found her corpse instead. I left the room to calm myself down, I couldn’t cause a commotion. I tried my best to come up with kind and comforting words to tell her later when I would return to her room, but when I did, the image that greeted me, her arms strapped to the bed, made me lose my composure. I screamed at her, I can’t even recall what I said but I know it was very inappropriate, she laughed, she cried. Trying to comfort her with only one arm was difficult, that was the very first moment when I even considered accepting Tsunade’s offer, but in the end I didn’t. I spent every night that followed with her, after the initial shock I was able to recall the words I meant to give her, I knew they weren’t going to miraculously fix everything but I felt that she needed them nonetheless.

She apologized for considering that path and acting on her thoughts. I undid her chains and pulled her to my lap as she talked. “The moment my eyes moved past Naruto’s shoulders and I saw you in the door frame I regretted my choice, I wished I could undo it if only to never have to see that look on your face” I placed my face into her hair and just breathed her in. “I think I understand a little better now…what you felt when Itachi died, when you found out the truth. Our situations aren’t the same but I remember how…” she stopped, searching for the perfect word.

“Crazy? Unhinged? Mad?” I provided, but she frowned and shook her head.

“No, no, none of those…how anguished, sorrowful, wretched you were at the time. You come to me in a very agitated state, I was scared and concerned but couldn’t grasp that feeling. Now I do” If I’m honest I don’t remember how felt at the time, I don’t remember many things about that period of my life, all I know is that I wanted to give up, I thought I had made only wrong choices in my life, but I saw her and I remembered that even I could save someone.

After a few more nights she assured me that she was now mentally stable, her sadness was still very much present, but she had not had any self-harming thoughts. The decision to leave the village was very difficult at the time, but Hinata assured me that she enjoyed our routine and wished to continue it. I left but our correspondence was much more frequent than before the war, I would write her every other day and she’d reply as soon as my messages reached her. It took a bit over 3 months for her to resume her work as an ANBU, and a bit over 8 months in total to convince Kakashi to promote her to ANBU Black Ops. Her missions became more difficult and longer, she even had a mission in Amegakure that lasted half a year. When she first sent me the message informing me of the location of her mission it reminded me of our first encounter after I left the village. Our encounter that summer isn’t a memory I think of fondly, I was cruel, I was insane, I abused my knowledge of her trauma. Whenever I remember my actions, I want to go back and rewind the time, I want to apologize to 15-year-old Hinata, she was meek and fragile and I broke a part of her. She was doing her best to survive and to keep going and I was a huge obstacle in her recovery. When my feelings for her started changing I was always self-conscious whether they were genuine or not, wasn’t I using her? Wasn’t I just feeling guilty?

Hinata, age 15

I am nervous as I pack my bag for this mission, it is my first solo mission ever. 6 months after I became a Jonin and Tsunade finally trusts me enough to allow me to go alone in a mission. The destination is Amegakure and the mission is supposed to last for about to 3 weeks. The difficulty level of the mission is only B which I’d be pretty annoyed at, but the distance factor and the solo factor make up for it so, I am equally nervous and excited. When I told Neji about the mission he was concerned but didn’t show it much for my sake. Instead, he congratulated me and we had a small picnic in the outer skirt of the Hyuuga estate as celebration.

Now I am looking through my dresser for appropriate clothes for the rain to pack, I have to look for another set of kunais just in case and prepare myself a couple of bentos to have on hand. Slowly, the closer the night before my departure gets the less anxious I am, excitement seems to be the winning sentiment.

The morning of, I wake up at 4:30 a.m. and am unable to sleep longer. By the time I am fully dressed and ready to go it’s only 5:00 a.m. and the sun is barely raising, but I decide that it is light enough outside for me to leave. As always whenever I pass through the forest there’s a chill going through my veins and my enthusiasm is a bit dampened, I actively try and avoid that specific place even if it means it will add to the journey time. On the schedule, Tsunade gave me I’m meant to spend 8 days on the road to the village, approximately 4 or 5 days into the village and 8 more days back.

The mission itself isn’t supposed to be that difficult all I need to do is meet with different people in the village give them the scrolls Tsunade gave me and wait for their replies. All in all, there should be no fighting, I’m mostly a messenger but the large amount of people that need contacting made it impossible for a summon raven to deliver the scrolls. My adrenaline rush of being on my own, experiencing what freedom feels like made me speed up during the journey, I took less stops and didn’t even spend the night in one of the Inns I was supposed to. Thus, not only did I depart earlier than planned but I arrived into the village almost a day and a half ahead of the schedule. Since it’s still barely past noon I decide to start the mission a day early and I am able to cover a fifth of the task on the first day.

People usually when talking about Amegakure call it gloomy and depressing, but I enjoy walking around in the rain, the temperature isn’t too high despite it being the middle of a heatwave everywhere else, the smell and sounds of rain also add to its charm. The Inn I’m supposed to stay at for the duration of my mission is on the outside of the village, it is away from the noise of the centre, but not far out enough to say it isn’t part of the village at all. Walking into my room I sit down and finally grasp that I am days away from Konoha, I am alone. The realization makes me emotional; I hadn’t realized how much I needed to be on my own, how good it would feel to put distance between me and everything that Konoha entailed.

Sitting alone in the dark, only with the occasional lightning brightening up my room, I make a decision, I promise myself to only ever come on solo missions. I’ve endured years of discomfort so I deserved to feel this way, if only during missions. I take a shower and go to bed, I’m not as physically tired as I thought I would be after the journey and that worries me. I don’t want the nightmare to come and ruin my mood, but I close my eyes nonetheless.

It feels like barely a second passed when I open my eyes and see the cool light coming from outside. The sun is hidden behind the clouds of rain, but its light still pushes through to an extent. I had no dreams, no nightmares. I rested well and I feel better than I did in many years. I walk barefoot onto the cold wooden floor and I open the window, not caring that the rain is getting both me and the floor wet. I close my eyes and feel immensely liberated, the heavy chains that dragged me down at all times disappeared. Nobody here knows me and I don’t know them, I am but a face in the crowd, this anonymity offers me the independence I never knew before.

I complete the mission in under 3 days. I feel faster, stronger, happier here. It feels like I can do anything and everything. I have about 3 days I can waste in the village, under normal circumstances I’d return immediately to Konoha to get another mission and the cycle would repeat. But I decide to stay here for a while longer, I want to enjoy this feeling to the best of my ability. The day right after completing the mission I simply stay inside and sleep almost the whole day. I’m recharging my batteries which have been on low for 3 years now. I forgot what being well-rested felt like.

The following day I decide to wander around some more. The mission had me walk all over the village’s centre so, I decide to check out its outskirt more. I go and eat delicious food at a small booth owned by an older couple. Due to its relatively small scale Amegakure’s buildings are much much higher than those from Konoha so I climb on top of one that I deem to be among the highest and sit there, in the rain just watching the busy streets, looking over all the sky-high buildings and enjoying the feeling of being unrestrained by people’s gazes and expectations. For the smallest second, I feel someone’s gaze on me but I discard it as being the locals looking at the strange outsider that’s standing in the rain. I refuse to let my mood be dampened, not when I am just as high as this building is.

I return to the Inn and decide to take a shower, tomorrow is going to be my last day here and I feel like time is moving far too fast. I’m rinsing my hair when I get the same feeling as before, like someone is watching me. Before I can dismiss it again, I hear steps behind me, my mind goes blank. I’m suddenly turned around by a powerful hand, before closing my eyes I see a pair of black dead, unfeeling, cold, cruel, scary, scary, scary, scary eyes. I close my eyes and clench my jaw; I can feel tears trailing down my face. I’m hyperventilating, I can’t move, I’m weak, I’m small. I whimper when I feel his hand touching the scar right above my pelvis. The touch transports me back to when I’m 12 and on the ground, my legs no longer support me, the only reason why I’m still standing is because the man is holding my arm in an iron grip. The moment passes and his hand is gone allowing me to fall to my knees and then onto my butt. I have no idea how long I stay there in a trance. When I’m finally able to regain strength in my limbs to feel and make small movements I notice the shower water is freezing cold despite it being set to warm. I turn it off and walk into the room, there’s no trace of the man anymore, he didn’t do anything beyond touching my arm and my scar. Maybe he was simply created by my brain, yea no one was here, how could they be, why would they be.

I can feel myself slipping into hysteria as laughter bubbles up into my throat. I look around the room again searching for proof again and I sigh in relief when I find none. I’m finally calm enough to get dressed but I make the mistake of looking in the mirror. There’s a handprint on my arm where he gripped me. The print is red and turning a weird purple colour in places and yellow in others. He was here. He was real. I take small breaths in order to calm myself, I am fine, I am here, I can’t even picture the face of the man that was here, I try to force myself to forget the handprint, it was just a dream, another nightmare.

I pack my things and leave that very night despite being tired physically, mentally and emotionally. I don’t want to return to Konoha, and I can’t stay here, I don’t know where to go. The freedom I felt before gave me an amazing sense of accomplishment, but now it is a source of unease. I feel lost and like I do not belong anywhere. I feel insignificant. I feel lonely. I close my eyes and just sit on the floor outside of the village, waiting for something or someone to come get me. But nothing happens and the weather is turning cold despite the summer so I pick myself up and start walking wherever the road will take me.

I don’t remember the journey back home, I can’t even tell in how many days I completed it, I didn’t stop at all, I just ran. I ran from the man, the past, I ran from my weak self. I thought myself to be strong now that I am a Jonin, but I froze and was unable to do anything all the same. I need to be more than I am, I need to be stronger, braver, untouchable, more perceptive.

I hate myself for hesitating to enter the Konoha, I hate myself for hesitating to take on a new mission when Tsunade offers it. I hate myself when I have to walk through the halls of the Hyuuga compound, I hate myself when I hide from Neji. I hate myself when I walk into my room and burst into tears. I hate myself for getting my hope that high in Ame only to have them all crash and burn. I hate that I feel more broken today than I did 3 weeks ago.

Sasuke, age 16

I’ve been in a weird mood since a week ago when I saw Hyuuga in the Village Hidden in Rain. I hadn’t heard or seen anything related to Konoha since I left during the Chunnin exam. She was my first contact with it. Hinata Hyuuga, I remember her name clearly, she holds a special meaning to me, she is a life I saved. I saved her back before I was caught up in any business with Orochimaru, when I still thought following Kakashi was the right path to take, back when I was stupid and naïve. I hadn’t thought of her since that moment, but when my eyes fell onto her, I felt proud that she survived, but I also felt the need, the urge to utterly crush her beneath my feet. Her life belongs to me; I saved her so, I have every right to destroy her.

I could tell she was uncomfortable with me there, I felt her flinch as I traced the scar above her pelvis, I heard her whimper when I turned around, and I saw from the corner of my eye, as her legs have in and she fell to the floor. She looked small and pathetic and I felt strong in comparison.

However, now, days later I feel…guilt. I feel as if I used something against her that I shouldn’t have. At the time her image was blurry and not something I paid attention to, but I can clearly see it now whenever I close my eyes. He white skin had almost no imperfections besides the three scars, her eyes were shut tight, her face was red and wet, at the time I gloated at the thought that the water droplets were tears, now I’m hoping they were from the shower. Her long dark hair was wet and clinging to her body. She did her best to hide from me with her hands, with her position slightly bent. She was helpless, she didn’t even try to stop me, she didn’t scream or fight back, she froze in place and allowed me to do whatever I wanted. At the time that too made me feel powerful, I deluded myself into thinking that my presence as Sasuke Uchiha made her cower in fear. Now that I am analysing things once more, I realize it was her trauma that rendered her powerless, it was my presence that caused her fear, but she wasn’t scared of me, Sasuke, but rather of me, a male; she didn’t see me as an individual but as the image of the man that hurt her in the past.

Realizing that in her mind I was equal to that disgusting piece of trash makes me livid. I clench my jaw, pick up the first thing I see, a jar of whatever substance from one of Orochimaru’s labs and I throw it to the wall. The green liquid escapes its container and slowly eats away at the wall and ground, the sizzling noise and putrid smell don’t even bother me. I’m angry at her, I want to find her and scream in her face that I’m not that man. I wanna shake her until she understands. I am mad at her, at myself. Kabuto comes in and curses, he drags me out and talks under his breath, his presence adds to my anger.

“What do you want?” I ask him, I’m looking down at him. I grew taller these past few weeks, taller than him. I want him to pick a fight, I want a reason to smash his face in. The image of his bloody face as he lays unconscious on the ground would bring me the satisfaction I need. He looks mockingly at me, that’s enough to start a fight.

Less than 20 minutes later the fight is over, he’s not unconscious, he’s still standing, more precisely, walking away. But he is bleeding and so am I. The fight didn’t help. I still feel angry, but my anger is slowly being overshadowed by guilt.

The sudden urge to find her and apologize overcomes me, but I dismiss it. She’s long gone…I checked. The two of us won’t meet anytime soon and even if we do, I’ll never apologize, not to her, not to someone that…weak…

Hinata age 22

After sleeping in until 11 after all, I wake up to Sasuke’s face next to mine, I feel at ease, I feel happy. I cup his face and place a kiss over his closed eyelids. I feel his change in breath when he wakes up but his eyes remain closed. His arm comes around my waist and pulls me closer to him, slowly he opens his eyes and offers me a lazy smirk. For a while I forget that we’re in Konoha, I forget everything about people trying to control me. All my worries just disappear with his presence.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks and brushes my bangs out of my eyes. ‘You’ I want to say, but I decide to be selfish instead. I sit up and he does too, I move towards him and place myself on his lap, we are chest to chest, face-to-face. “I am unsure how long they’ll make me stay here. This... sensei job…they could stretch it for months, who knows.” I hate that that’s true, I hate that they’re trying to cage me into the village. “it’s difficult being here for an indefinite period of time, especially since I don’t have out missions to look forward to. So…” I stop talking, rethinking what I’m about to ask, wondering if it’s worth it, but he looks at me with no judgement, he’s waiting patiently. “So…I was thinking. Maybe being here in Konoha would be better…if you were here as well” Part of me initially regrets the words and wants to take them back.

“You want me to stay here until you can go back to your normal missions” he didn’t formulate it as a question so I didn’t reply, mostly because I didn’t trust myself not to say no, to act like it was a joke, so I stay silent. “Ok, I will” his hand is on my wrist and it’s slowly moving up under my tank top. “You should already know that anything you ask of me, I’ll do Hinata” I do know that, but this was something that I had been afraid to ask for a while. Would staying in Konoha be better with him here? It must be.

We talk some more about his stay in Konoha and then proceed to eat a late breakfast. “I passed by the cottage outside of Amegakure on my way to Konoha” that cottage will forever represent my safe space, all my memories in it are out-of-this-world happy. The cottage itself is pretty much outside every territory of every village, it belongs to nobody, yet that’s the place I feel I belong in. I stayed there for my thirst or fourth mission as an ANBU, as usual Sasuke met up with me and we live together there for months. Sasuke and I worked together for most of my missions, we completed them faster than it was estimated they would take and we spent the remaining of the time just being together outside of all the rules of everyone. That was the place in which after much deliberation and inner-fights I decided to put my trust in him. By then we had already expressed our feelings verbally and with actions such as kisses and hugs, but I wanted to move past that because I craved that closeness with someone, I wanted a stronger bond between us, but also out of spite, I wanted to prove that I was able to enjoy sex. I wanted to prove that what had happened no longer affected me. Out first time was a bit awkward, we were both virgins, Sasuke was overly conscious of making me feel comfortable and I just wanted it to be done with so our desired speed didn’t match, but it happened and it was fine. The second and third time around it was much better and now we reached a point in which intimacy with him doesn’t scare me in the least, I love it and it makes me feel amazing. I am aware that I’m not fully over the incident, the close proximity of strange men that I don’t know still bothers me at times, however, I am much stronger and able to protect myself, I am just...wary.

I end my train of thoughts by going back to the memory of our first time and it makes me giggle a little. Sasuke asks me with his eyes what I’m laughing about and my reply is only a smirk, I see the wheels spinning in his brain and the connections being made. I love that after so many years we’re able to just understand each other in this manner. He gets up from his chair and walks around the table to place his hand on the nape of my neck. “I can show you how much I’ve improved since than” he whispers and bends down to kiss me. I smile against his lips and loop my arms around his neck allowing him to pick me up.

I must have fallen asleep again because I am woken up this time by Naruto loudly knocking on my door. He left me alone yesterday because Sasuke was around but I guess even his long-lost best friend can’t keep his attention off of me for more than 24 hours. I look next to me and my heart hurts because Sasuke isn’t there. I tell myself it’s because he felt Naruto so he left, but I still don’t like that.

Naruto keep knocking on the door and I’m sure he’s about to tear it down if I don’t open it soon so I walk to it in my pjs with my hair a mess. When I open the door, he stops in his tracks. “Oh…” his eyes linger onto the scar on my shoulder, he has an obsession with it I’ve noticed. Does he believe that’s my biggest scar…if only he knew. “I didn’t know you were sleeping, I’m sorry”

“After yesterday’s mission the kids have the day off so I wanted to rest” I don’t assure him that it is ok even though I know that’s the polite thing to do. I am bitter and annoyed that Sasuke isn’t there. For a split moment when I woke up, I thought I had imagined his presence.

“I just wanted to bring these to you.” He says and presents me with a pile of papers. “I know you were given them before when Kakashi assigned you as their sensei” hah, like it was Kakashi’s idea. Hokage-sama wouldn’t have pushed me into being a sensei from a Black Ops and we all know that. I know Naruto pulled all of the strings to get me here, however, Kakashi-san is also to blame for allowing all of this to happen “but I think you should really read them well, you said you have a free day today. I can stay here with you and read them together”

I look at him and his easy-going smile. On normal days I’d try and be nice, but all I want to do today is spend my time in peace. “I heard Uchiha-san is back. Are you sure you want to spend the day with me reading about some kids rather than catch up with him?” I feel sorry for guiding Naruto towards Sasuke, but I know Sasuke and if he’s one thing, he’s good at not being found.

Upon hearing Sasuke’s name Naruto’s smile brightened to the extent that it actually hurt my eyes. “I already saw and talked to him today” He left before Naruto came here, was it before we ate? After? When did they meet? “We talked and agreed to go on a mission together this week” He’s leaving after I asked him to stay “We went to Kakashi and already got all the info, so I’ll spend a lot of time together with him and find out all about what he’s been up to in these years and I ---” Naruto keeps talking but I feel suffocated.

[dianapana]

SH Day 11- Forest of Death

@sasuhinamonth

たえる Part 1 (taeru=to endure)

Rated M, Ninja Universe that underwent some changes (you’ll see that I use major events in the canon world but there is a lot of history that’s altered), OOC (major OOC for Hinata especially)

Warning: mental health, rape, violence, all, in all a gloomy mood

Hello lovely people, so this story as you can see from the warnings is going to be quite a complex and difficult one, both to write and read. I’ve had this AU in my head for the past 5 years or so, but never truly got around to writing it. However, upon looking at the prompts I could see that some consecutive days worked well for this story so, I took it as a sign. For those that followed my SH Month contribution last year aka 2020, what I wrote for day 12 was an alternative ending to this story, I will of course change the way the story ends this year (I had 2 endings for this story and the one from last year was the tragic one, and it also wasn’t as developed as this story will be this year) so there’s no spoiler in reading that one. This story I’m pretty much writing for myself, I want to see how I feel once it’s finally all on paper/screen, since it’s been with me for such a long time. It’s the first time that I go into writing something and knowing everything about the story, all it’s important moments. Of course, there is still lots I’ll have to discover as I write, especially details and the manner in which I express what I have in my mind. All in all, my plan is to have this as a mini-series that will be composed of the following days: 11, 12, 14, 15, 16, 17. There is the possibility that I won’t need that many parts since I intend to make each chapter pretty long but that I can only figure that out once I finish writing it so, I am just as clueless as you all. Anyway, enough talking, I hope you all enjoy, ~Love, Dia.

Hinata, age 22

“Fall back, don’t attack” I shouldn’t have to shout these instructions at them, had this been a real situation one of them would have been decapitated while another cut on his shoulder, the girl was the only one safe, and that’s just because she was far too scared to attack. The girl’s hands are trembling, and she is almost hyperventilating, one of the boys is cursing and making a fuss about how his ‘plan’ should have worked, said plan was to go head-first into the fight without an actual plan; the other boy is just standing still, massaging the shoulder that would have been cut. The symmetry with my old team didn’t amuse me in the beginning and it’s not amusing now either. After one mission that had gone wrong, their sensei was out in a comma and I was commended to look after the trio. I didn’t even realize my fists were clenched until my nails broke the skin in my palms, sending a small stinging sensation up my arms. I was supposed to be on a single mission now, but since I got caught in this situation someone else had gone. They could have assigned someone else to the kids, someone that didn’t have other missions to attend. I sent a raven informing my…other party about the fact that it would not be me in the mission, but no reply had reached my ears yet, saying that I am concerned, is an understatement. I can picture the fiasco that could come out of this and I want no part in it.

“H-Hinata-sensei…w-what should we do next?”

The reckless boy is jumping from one foot to the other eager to move, run, fight, train; the girl is looking at me with wide eyes and a smile, way too kind for this world she is entering; the last boy is still deep in thought about his supposed-to-be-injured shoulder, not paying me any attention. I’m about to tell them they are dismissed for the day, but a cheerful voice from somewhere to the left interrupts me.

“Working hard I see”

“Naruto-san!”

All three cheer in unison and gather around the older male but he’s looking at me, smiling at me. I try to do my best to return the smile but the outcome is an absolute failure, the blonde’s smile slowly turns into a frown and I can’t bear to see that, so I avert my eyes and turn to look to the sky. It’s turning purpleish, the moon can be seen, but the sun’s still the dominant heavenly orb.

“I think it’s enough for one day, you’re dismissed” I say softly, still not looking at the kids or at Naruto.

I can see the girl bow from my peripheral vision, the boy whines and the other one is already walking away. I continue looking at the sky, the sun is surrounded by clouds that in the light appear a crimson colour, making the image a little more morbid than it should have been.

“You seem in deep thought”

If I weren’t as trained as I am, I might have flinched, you couldn’t hear him move closer, but I saw him, even with my eyes looking somewhere else, I can see his chakra network. I see his arm reaching over to touch my chin and turn it towards him.

“Don’t be like this Hina. It’s only temporary, we all thought…”

They all thought that by making me a temporary sensei I’d find joy in it and decide to follow that path, that I’d drop my mask on the Hokage’s desk and pick up one of the green vests to lead 3 children in missions, but they were all mistaken. I haven’t felt quite this sad and low in a while and considering everything, that’s a very scary thought. It frightened me how much this sudden change in my routine affected my mood.

“We’re all just worried. I’m worried”

Despite the fact that he had turned my chin towards him, my eyes were still on the sun, it still shines brightly making it look white at that moment, with red clouds, like a bleeding eye watching everything from the skies. The image that pops into my mind is enough to make me cringe. I see Neji. I see him looking at me and crying like that night, I see him looking at me and bleeding like that night.

I know he’s following my line of thoughts because Naruto squeezes my hand trying to distract me from the sky. He’s pulling me along by the hand, had this happened when I was 11, I’d squeal in pleasure and faint after blushing like a tomato. I feel sorry for my old self, the one that was just like the shy girl in this team, the one that had high hopes, the one that had the world at her feet. Sometimes I realize with almost horror that I’ve become the person I used to be afraid of when I was small. ANBUs always scared me, how could someone be so insensitive, what did one go through for their feelings to be stripped from them and buried deep inside. It’s strange looking at Naruto and not seeing what I used to see before. In my memories, he was a god with flowing gold instead of hair, the ocean as eyes, and every drop of kindness in the world resided in his smile and words. Even after the incident in my youth, he was still so special, but since I have woken up after the war, he was just a blonde and blue-eyed boy with dreams just as many others.

“We’re all meeting tonight for a BBQ. It’s been a long time since we’ve all been in the village at the same time”

The only thing that’s just as I remember is his enthusiasm, it could rub onto everyone and anyone, but somehow, I’ve become immune to it for a moment, it almost even irritates me now. It might be due to my sudden mood drop since being made a temporary sensei, or it might be that I am tired of his constant presence. I can feel my annoyance bubble up.

“Not everyone in the rookie 9 is here, Naruto”

As soon as I say this, I wish to take it back, he squeezes my hand a little harder and has to clear his throat. I never truly meant to hurt him, I’m exhausted and irascible, but I feel bad, so I place my other hand on his shoulder. We stop walking in the middle of the street with people all around. He looks hurt, but his eyes are lighting up by the second, he takes my hand from his shoulder and intertwined our fingers and smiles at me again, that’s what he’s been doing all the time lately, he constantly smiles at me. I can tell that despite being hurt; he appreciates the fact that I regret saying that. It makes me feel even worse because I could end most of his sorrow. I could take this job as a sensei, smile and act happy, I could stop being an ANBU, I could also tell him how to find the one person he really wishes to find. But I don’t do any of these. I don’t pretend to be ok; I don’t ignore my wished to do what others want me to do, and I surely don’t break a promise just to see Naruto happy. I can’t put him before anyone and everyone else anymore, I’ve done that a number of times and it never ended well for me.

People are staring as we walk hand in hand, I hear the whispers, I see them nod. Suddenly all of this makes me feel tired, instead of walking a half step behind him I walk a bit faster to get next to him and lean my head on his shoulder. It has been over 3 years and 8 months since I woke up and 3 years and 10 months since the war ended. I’m getting tired of icing everyone out, especially Naruto, since he’s making it so hard for me to do so. He looks for me every day, he talks to me about everything and anything, he makes sure that whenever we’re together he keeps physical contact, shoulder touching, holding hands anything, just to make sure I am real and there.

I know I scared everyone when they walked in on me trying to end myself after finding out that every nightmare I had when I was in a coma was indeed true. Naruto never stopped watching over me, he feels guilty and I understand, for a while there I actually blamed him too.

“You can always do this, you know, lean on me”

I know I can, just as he knows I won’t. Reaching the BBQ place, he lets my hand go and allows me to enter first, laughter can be heard from inside and it almost makes me smile.

“Hinata! Naruto! Over here!”

Sakura stands up from her seat and is waving us over, it’s clear she has just returned from a mission, her hair’s oily, and she had bandages on her left leg, her arm has a few scratches here and there, but her smile is just as big as Naruto’s. For a moment I am jealous of how carefree she appears to be, but the feeling passes soon, because everybody in that room is a little less themselves than they were before the war. We entered the war to make the world better, but I’m wondering if we didn’t make it worse, sure there’s peace, but only because everyone is broken due to their losses that fighting isn’t even on their mind.

“Hina, come here we saved you a spot between us. Team 8, huh?”

Kiba yells from his sport and pats the seat next to him, I haven’t seen the brunette in over 3 weeks and no matter how sad I feel, he and Shino are still my team, hearing his words makes me smile, I have a soft spot for them in my heart. I feel like everyone turns to look at me and falls quiet like they are scared to spook me, but I pretend not to notice and go to sit next to my former teammates. Shino’s shoulder is touching mine and Kiba has his hand on my knee the whole time. Naruto’s sitting across the table and under it he keeps bumping my foot with his.

I have to admit, the outing did me good, I liked being out with everyone, well…almost everyone. The only person missing is the other male from team 7. Sasuke returned to the village after the war for two months and a few days, he was there when I woke up and when I tried to kill myself, but after that he was gone, telling anyone that asked that he’d travel and return from time to time. He hasn’t kept his promise yet.

“How is it being in charge of 3 kids?”

Kiba insisted on walking me home, and of course, Naruto joined.

“I don’t really enjoy it. I prefer my normal missions”

The boys look at each other in a subtle way but I notice it anyway, I just don’t acknowledge it. After waking up my eyes seem to work better, I see small things that others might not, small things that I wasn’t able to before; even without my Byakugan on I can see faintly the chakra channel of people, I haven’t told anyone about that yet. If I try, I can even pinpoint people in the village by their chakra, the more used to their presence and chakra I am the easier it is for me to find them even at a great distance.

“I still don’t like that you moved out of the Hyuuga compound” I’ve been hearing the same tune over and over for the past 3 years. 8 months after I woke up after the war, I became a Black Ops and moved out of the Hyuuga compound, not many people agreed, but they didn’t stop me either.

“Father doesn’t like it either. But he didn’t see fit to argue at the time”

No one saw fit to argue with me, they just allowed me to do whatever I pleased after I woke up. This happened before too when I was 12. Right after the first three tests of Chunnin exam. The incident that changed me, the incident that changed everyone around me for the worst, only Neji for the better.

When everyone found out about what I intended to do, they treated me like glass, like this breakable thing they all thought I was. And I didn’t really blame them, only the Uchiha male had it in him to argue with me about my attempt. He was there when Naruto and Sakura discovered me but didn’t react, rather he returned that night to scream at me and tell me that I had “lost my fucking mind”. I was so surprised, I started laughing which soon turned to sobs, which made Sasuke abandon his stoic face and offer me comfort through an awkward semi-hug. Imagine my surprise when I woke up and he had just one arm, we didn’t talk about the loss of the other limb or why he refused a new one. He allowed me to cry and mourn, to vent in his arm and I took full advantage of his presence.

“Tomorrow Kakashi said he’ll give you a C mission with your team”

Kiba left a long time ago, but the blonde is still sitting on my sofa like he couldn’t be more at home if he tried. He’s watching me over his shoulder as I move around the kitchen making tea.

“I see…”

I hadn’t gone on a C mission in years. I retook the Chunnin exam at 14, became a Jounin at 15 and an Anbu by 16. Kakashi hesitated when I asked to be transferred to the Black Ops only 6 months after I woke up after the war, thus it took me a few more months of persuasion until he obliged. He probably gave in, in hopes the I would detest it and change my mind. The hopes fell short when I started doing missions alone and I absolutely adored everything.

“I think this mission will do you good” Naruto got up from the sofa and was behind me, his hand on my shoulder, rubbing with his thumb the spot right above my collarbone, I had a scar there. “I think the kids will do you good, from what I saw they seem lovely” When I first met the kids I wondered if the failed mission and their sensei being hurt was all lies, what were the chances of a team that perfectly mirrored my own being entrusted to me after an ‘accident’.

I put the fire off before the water starts to boil and turn around towards the blond. “I think I’m a bit tired” It’s not a lie, I am tired, but I’ve been tired for a while now, it’s not the type of tired you can fix with a good night’s sleep. “Tomorrow I have an important mission after all” I know I’m using his weaknesses to manipulate him, but I can’t feel bad when he’s doing the same thing to me. He’s twisting my life to his liking hoping I’d somehow fit back into the ‘Hinata mold’ he remembers, but that mold was never true, it’s just a variation of me he created in his own mind, a version of me I will never be.

He looks tired too, I can imagine it must be exhausting to deal with me as well, but nonetheless, he obliges. He wishes me good night and for a moment I’m frightened he’ll lean in to give me a hug; he doesn’t. I watch as he leaves my apartment and the moment, he is gone the air feels lighter. I almost feel fine; but I remember that I was supposed to be somewhere else tonight, I remember that tomorrow is another day of babysitting and my mood dampens again. My mind is running in circles but I decide to go to bed, after all, I know I’ll have nightmares I always do unless I am dead on my feet physically exhausted. Maybe that’s why I like being an ANBU, it’s challenging and after every mission, I sleep peacefully without any dreams at all. But now, as a sensei…it’s a game of Russian roulette, which nightmare will it be tonight? I’ve heard people say that they are afraid of their nightmares, I am too, even though my nightmares aren’t fiction, they’re memories.

I do my night routine and lay down, I can already tell which nightmare it is before it truly starts, because each nightmare has a set beginning, this one always starts with me laying on the wet and muddy ground. The most distinctive characteristic of this nightmare is the smell of blood, rain, mud and semen mixed together. The amount of pain I am in stops me from reacting or acting disgusted. Despite knowing the course of the nightmare and everything that is about to transpire, I still feel the same anxiety, the same dread and hopelessness.

One could argue and say that I am lucky, because the nightmare always starts after the act itself ended, I don’t have to relive being raped (which took me years to even think the r word without throwing up, and took me even longer to admit it happened to me without going in hysteria). But that’s not how it ended, it’s not delimited to that hour or however long it took, the act lingered into my life and changed everything. For me at last, the worst part was the constant feeling I had after it all ended, I felt being tainted, impure, it affected how I viewed and treated myself, how I expected others to treat me.

This nightmare relieves the incident of my youth, after the first three trials of the Chunin exam, I was eliminated for I lost to Neji. My health at the time was in shambles, but more so was my life home. Father was livid that I lost to a branch member, being home was not an option so I found myself wandering around, I loved sitting at the base of a tree in the forest outside Konoha. One day I wandered too far for too long and had a coughing attack which led to me fainting. It wasn’t uncommon, it happened before, but I was always with someone when it happened, this time I was all alone. I woke up hours later, it must have rained, I could smell it in the air, but my clothes weren’t sticking to me, that’s when I felt it, heart it, smelt it. There was someone above me, moving heavily, their breath was in my ear, the smell of their seat was surrounding me and my lower half was in so much pain, I thought I was splitting open. I was confused and scared. I am uncertain if I blacked out again, or if the memories are too traumatic and my brain actively blocked them, but all I remember after is the crude words of the man, thanking me for being a good girl, describing how good it felt for him, and apologizing for having to do what he was about to do. His words were quickly followed by a series of three stabs, one in my shoulder, stomach and one right above my pelvis where it already hurt.

I laid there, unmoving for what felt like an eternity, I kept wishing to bleed to death because living after that felt impossible, I wanted to be gone, nobody was going to miss me anyway. The sky was cleared of all the rain clouds and I could look up at the stars, they looked beautiful but their beauty could not touch me. There was no sound other than my beating heart which I kept asking to stop, until I hear leaves moving in the wind, the movement is far too fast to be caused by the night breeze. ‘Someone must be here’ I thought to myself, and at that exact moment I see a dark figure jump from one tree to another high, high, high above me, they look like the stars, beautiful and far. I pray that they will continue going on their way, I don’t want to be seen, I don’t want to be saved. I’m relieved when they pass, but I don’t even have the time to close my eyes when they return and jump down to me.

I see a faint image of a face that I am familiar with, the fact that I recognize him tells me he recognizes me too, I feel utter shame. Sasuke looks down at me, his lips are moving but I can’t hear a thing anymore, not even my heart. He’s moving around a lot, for a second, I think he left but I feel a foreign cloth covering my body. I am suddenly off the ground and in his arms, I thought the pain I felt before was bad, but the moment he moves me every inch of my body flares up in pain, I scream and cry, I want to push him away because every step he takes stirs my body and the pain doubles. I beg him over and over and over again ‘leave me here, let me die, no one will ever know, leave, leave, leave, leave, leave’. But it’s all in vain, for I either was unable to actually form the words, or he chose to ignore my wishes.

The road was painful, I was feeling lightheaded from the loss of blood probably, but I either blacked out, or Sasuke was extremely fast for we reached the hospital before any other coherent thoughts could form in my brain. Sasuke gently places me onto one of the hospital beds and a flood of doctors come my way. I watch as Sasuke’s face fades into the distance and once he is gone, I close my eyes and the next time I open them there are birds chirping outside my window. According to the doctor I was in an induced coma for over 3 weeks, in that time I underwent 4 surgeries all of which were successful, I only need to complete a two-week rehab and ‘You’re good to go’. The doctor talks and talks about all they did to fix my body, but that’s all they could do, they are unable to fix me, for I am forever altered.

Father and Neji come to find me, they assure me this incident was dealt with in secrecy and nobody but the doctors knew I had been…abused. I am informed of many other facts, how the village was attacked during the last art of the exam, how many were injured, how Sasuke left the village. This last piece of information piques my interest, was he running away the night he found me? Was he just taking a walk like myself? Why was he there that night?

The rest of the nightmare continues with the manner in which people in my family that knew about the incident started treating me differently, Neji was nice, Father was more lenient but somehow even more uninterested, the elders looked at me with pity but also as a failure and a used good. I no longer held any value in their eyes…or my own. I felt a complex set of emotions; which to this day I cannot distinguish, were they anger, depression, guilt or maybe a combination of them all; and the only way to escape from them was through training. I soon found that if I was physically exhausted my mind too would stop wondering, I started training until I dropped, I only fell asleep if I blacked out due to exhaustion.

I wake up hating myself for sleeping with a busy mind. I hate how much the nightmares still affects me. I hate how I allow that incident to rule parts of my exitance, whenever I walk through that damned forest, I get chills. After I became an ANBU I often found myself going to the approximate spot it all happened. To me that’s the forest of death, my soul died there for the first time. I get up and look across the room at the full mirror, I see the mess that my hair is, I must have tossed and turned a lot in my sleep, my skin is covered in a thin layer of sweat and I look tired, more tired than I did when I went to bed. The image alone makes me want to burst into tears for some reason. But I don’t have time for that, instead, I go to take a shower and prepare for my first C mission since I was 14 or so.

I hate how after this particular nightmare I always am more self-aware of the scars the stabs left behind, the one on my shoulder faded beautifully and it’s barely a thin line, the other two are much bigger and…uglier to look at. On normal days I’m mildly bothered by them, but today I try not to look or touch them because I can tell I will lose it soon. My shower is short and brief and I hurry to get dressed not caring that there are still water droplets onto my skin. I run a quick brush through my hair and leave the apartment. I’ll be there early but I know so will the kids, I remember how excited I was everything we had a mission as a fresh Genin, I still get excited about the missions but mostly because they led me to weeks or months away from the village.

When I near the Hokage building my suspicions are confirmed, the team is there. I simply nod at them and the four of us enter Kakashi’s office to listen to the details about the mission. It feels awkward knocking at the door and entering that way. As an ANBU we usually enter through the window and we do so without asking for permission. Kakashi nods at me and starts reading off of his piece of paper.

“The mission is to escort Lady Shimizu around the village for the day, make sure nothing happens to her”

I start counting in my head as Kakashi starts talking, I reach 11 when the thing I waited for happens.

“We’re bodyguards for some lady? Really? That is so lame, I thought this was a C mission”

The boy wines, the girl tries to calm him down and apologize and the other boy doesn’t say anything. Kakashi’s looking at me and I look right back at him, I have no intention of controlling them, they aren’t my problem, he dumped them on me and I make no move to aid him in this situation, let him see what hell he put me in. Shikamaru, who is to the Hokage’s right sighs, I would feel bad, but they deserve this.

After a bit more whining, and Shikamaru explaining twice how important the mission truly is, we leave and soon enough reach the gates where we have to wait for the lady to appear. The boy keeps cursing under his breath, the other boy tells him once more to shut up and the girl tries to calm both of them down…again. I lean on one of the pillars and try to empty my head of thoughts when a sudden chill goes through my every nerve, it makes me stand straighter almost like an impulse.

“Got stuck babysitting?”

The 3 children look up to the voice, part surprised, part excited and part terrified. I half-smile at him when he drops from one of the tree branches next to me. I have the sudden urge to touch him but I don’t.

“I did. That’s why I couldn’t go in that mission”

“I got your raven”

I look him up and down in search of any new major injuries but nothing stands out, finally, my eyes settled onto his, Sasuke gives me a nod and a smirk. I look to the children and they are watching the interaction between us with wide-opened eyes. Sasuke takes a step closer to me and our shoulders brush.

“I’ll see you later Hyuuga” he whispers before disappearing further in the village.

“Hinata-sensei I didn’t know you knew Uchiha-san so well! That’s amazing, I never saw him so close before”

“Y-yea he’s not t-that scary”

Their voices blend into one and are taken away on the wind, my only response is a half nod, they keep talking about whatever kids these days talk about. Now more than ever I wish the day to be over, I wish to be at my apartment. I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a moment and I ignore the talking kids beside me, I faintly see many chakras throughout the village, but I’m looking for a specific one, no, I’m not looking for any sign that the lady is getting closer. I’m looking for a chakra that I know all too well and I can easily distinguish from all the others, I get a flicker of a deep blue-purple chakra near my apartment and that makes me smile, I release a small amount of chakra as well to let him know I understood his message. I open my eyes and the moment is broken, the kids are looking up at me and my apathy towards them grows.

After spending over 10 hours walking around a lady, who turned out to be 12, I couldn’t run fast enough to get home. I open my door and walk straight to the bathroom to take a long and warm bath, all of my worries from this morning erased from my memory. I don’t need to be tired beyond return today, I have something better to keep the nightmares at bay. I get out of the bath, put on a towel and walk into my room. The lights are on in my bedroom, but I knew they would be, I felt it when I came in. Sitting on my bed reading a scroll is Sasuke, he doesn’t look up or turn around when my towel drops nor when I look through my dressers to put my sleeping attire.

“I still can’t believe they put you in charge of children” his voice is deep and low.

I sigh but ignore the Uchiha. I climb in bed and turn off the lamp on my part of the bed. I hear him put the scroll away and turn off the other lamp, he lowers himself over me and runs his hand up and down my spine.

“I haven’t seen you in a few weeks and you ignore me?”

With a big sigh, I turn around to look at him. Last time he annoyed me and I promised myself not to let him do as he pleases unless he apologized, but I already know that won’t be the case, I can already feel myself cracking under the pressure of his gaze. His eyes turn red and purple in the dark, illuminating his face, his smug smirk makes me roll my eyes because he knows he won.

I run both hands through his hair, I’m tired mentally, more so than usual, dealing with four children is not something I want to go through again. Sasuke seems to understand that, he simply turns onto his back and pulls me half across him. One of my arms is across his torso and his hand is softly stroking my hair. We have time tomorrow to play around. As usual, he masks his chakra whenever he’s here, in my apartment in Konoha, in any Inn room or wherever I was staying during my missions. One could never be careful enough, and one could never be sure who was watching. I hate all the sneaking around, but I’m also painfully aware that we can’t expose our relationship. I chase away all bad thoughts and immerse myself into the moment, for the first time in weeks my mind is clear, my heart is light and I can breathe. I look at Sasuke’s face one last time before falling into a deep and dreamless slumber.

“Is the dobe still glued to your side?”

Sasuke is a very matinal kind of person, there are times when I’m not even sure if he slept at all. On the other side, I can spend hours in bed with him falling in and out of consciousness, I have this theory that whenever he’s there I try to get in a years’ worth of peaceful sleep, for I know the moment he leaves the nightmares will return. That’s why I never like it when he wakes me up out of the blue like he did now. I open one eye to look at the black-eyed male and he’s also staring at me, with a big sigh I make a big show of sitting up, glaring at him and sitting back down on my other side. The clock on the wall shows that it’s barely 5 in the morning. I’m painfully aware that I won’t go back to sleep, especially not when he’s looking at me the way he does, not when his hand is slowly rubbing up and down my spine. He lowers his face until his mouth is on the back of my neck. “Hinata” he murmurs against my skin and I can feel my body heath raising.

I turn back around to face him and pat his head, years ago he would have rolled his eyes and stopped my hand but now he leans into it, placing his head onto my chest and allowing me to run my hands through his hair. “He is” I reply to his earlier question and receive back a hn. Silence falls over the room and I close my eyes back, maybe I can fall back asleep after all.

Part 2

[dianapana]

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