#i apologize for the bad pic quality also it is not my fault

[kaleidoskuls]

the struggle is real

[shinymooncolor]

Hi lovelies.

Hockey is back. ❤️

And so here is another sweater weather chat. It’s split in two. So stay tuned 😘

All the love in the world for @lumosinlove and each and everyone of you! This fandom is truly a remarkable place 💖

Sweater weather chat #12 part 1

Dumo loses a bet. Sunny has a lot of stories. Sergei once had blue hair. He also fought a German suit. Snuck a few of my nhl heroes in here. See if you can spot them. Nado is dying from anticipation. Blizzard wants pictures. Olli is trying to stay on topic. Alice has questions. Sirius has no comments. We jinx the cup a tiny bit. I took some liberties with rosters and timelines for international hockey. No people were harmed in the making of this chat. Danes really are pesky meatball thieves. I love germans (just needed a bad guy).

Friday 7.22 pm

Prongstar: hey dumo. Not backing down from the bet?

Dumodad: no. I honor my word. You guys won. What do you want? Suicides, my car, my wife’s cooking?

Talkiewalkie: damn dumo. Pimping out Celeste

Dumodad: like the lot of you aren’t half in love with her or Anya. You’re not subtle

Krisvolley: I’d marry both with no hesitation. Between Anya’s piroggi and Celeste’s brownies, I’d be set for life.

Nadotheman:fuck you’d have to fight me and Kuny both for that krissy.

Russiangod: I already son of Anya. I take sergei’s place

Sergei_81: am not even 40 yet. Also you all boys. Can’t handle women. They need men.

Logantremblayzzz: it’s weird guys. Don’t crush on your team mates wives 😳 also Sergei you are 40....

Sergei_81: 🤬

Blizzard: don’t make sexy eyes at your goalie when he’s stretching. 🤪

Timmyforrealz: burnnnnnn hahahahahaha

Prongstar: potential adultery, sergei’s age and Logan’s inappropriate staring aside. Dumo lost our bet. And I’ve made a decision. Drumroll please 🙈🙈🙈🙈

Kuny: drdrdrdrdrrrrrrrrrrrr

Prongstar: thanks Kuny babe 😘

Prongstar: dumo! I want the truth about Prague. In this chat. In writing. You have 1 hr.

Dumodad: no.

Sergei_81: no

Sunnysideup: YES

Sunnysideup: I’ll tell them if you don’t 😜

Dumodad: it’s all your fault. Stupid Swede.

Sunnysideup: no one made you bet me. We won, fair and square!

Sunnysideup: the year was 2006. Turin, Italy. Winter Olympics. A brash Russian and a confident Canadian decided to make a bet with a lovely, young and innocent Swede.

Bradygunzz: innocent? 😂😂😂😂

Walkietalkie: wait weren’t you in Sweden then? Or am I missing something? How’d you even know these guys?

Kaneyoudigit: I thought this story was about Prague?

DumoDad: it is. It just started 9 years earlier.

Sunnysideup: some of my national teammates played with Sergei in the khl during the nhl ‘05 lockout. Dumo was signed to do some press stuff with us at olympics. Something about cross team friendships.

Logantremblayzzz: Wow you guys are ancient

DumoDAD: we were top 3 seeded teams and they picked the Russian with good English, a Swede who’s not scary and me. It was fun. And it turned into a bit of drinking after Sergei and sunny started arguing about the quality of vodka.

Krisvolley: you shouldn’t drink at the Olympics 😂

Sunnysideup: anyways. We bet and of course all three were convinced our respective teams would win. Of course, we all know who emerged victorious 😜

Sergei_81: you had Swedish murder twins not fair. Baby sedin slash me on purpose

DumoDad: he didn’t. That was a legit hit you big baby. Also we did better than the US.

Sergei_81: was not clean.

Sunnysideup: we’re not having this discussion again. You both lost. It was a clean hit. Also, the fun part was the bet itself.

Nadotheman: just fucking tell us. The suspense is killing me.😳

Siriusly: whAt did you do??????? Dumo!!!!

Sunnysideup: well. they got kitted out in lovely blue and yellow team colors. Hank’s idea - some fans gave him loads of body paint. Hahahaha also Sergei was sporting a very impressive buzz cut then. It was a thing. So we’ve got these two idiots painted in blue and yellow including sergei’s head. Unfortunately the dye wasn’t meant for hair. So he had blue hair for two weeks after. Anya is still mad at me about that one 😜

Nadotheman: so you just painted them blue and yellow? That’s like so anti climactic.

Logantremblayzzz: oh he’s not done 😂

CarbO’Hara: Logan tell usssss

Siriusly: how come you told him and not me? I feel betrayed.

DumoDad: I didn’t. Celeste did. Traitor.

Logantremblayzzz: I was sad and homesick and she wanted to cheer me up. 😍

Ollibear: I feel like we’re getting off topic

Logantremblayzzz: wait didn’t you then make them steal the Olympic flags from the hotel you were celebrating at and exchange them with Swedish ones?

Sunnysideup: indeed, Logan, and that went smoothly. So it turned into a thing that every time we compete all three in an international thing. We make the losers swap flags. It’s cute.

Prongstar: what about Prague then? That wasn’t until 2015? Was it?

DumoDad: and we all remember who won.

RussianGod: is also where butt slap come from then? Pre game one?

Sergei_81: not our fault. U had Crosby make heart eyes at zhenya. And no Kuny, not from there...

DumoDad: you’re never letting that one go? Hahaha poor Sergei.

Dumodad: also. the butt slap is an Old tradition. We had a playoff round ages back and I slapped him. We won. We’ve done it since. Works doesn’t it?

Sergei_81: you said “let’s go get them”. Still do. It works. All magic slap. I thought you say “ let’s go eat them” Still works hehe

Ollibear: again, we’re veering off topic, dumo.

Sunnysideup: well. Prague. I know Canada won. Golden boy got golden goal. Blah blah blah. But for some reason we had another bet 😜. Dumo cooked up a revenge for me and Sergei. But it was before the final. We were just heading into the second round and somehow ended up in another vodka related discussion (we all know Swedish vodka is superior).

RussianGod: Swedish vodka is water. Russia best.

Sergei_81: was stupid idea. But vodka make us brave.

DumoDad: I never told you to start climbing that flag pole. You decided that on your own. I just told you to get me the flag.

Sunnysideup: he did climb that pole like a fireman though.

Timmyforrealz: hold up a sec. you’re telling me sergei “i never smile and my looks can literally make opponents wet themselves” Ivanov climbed a flag pole while drunk and it looked good?

Sunnysideup: he was wearing a “I love Canada” onesie and crocs. Which was about 6 sizes too little. We both were.

Newt-leo: we’re going to need pics of this.

Sunnysideup: well. The onesies were one thing. Still not sure how we got corralled into it. But anyways as I remember Sergei did successfully steal the flag from the hotel and started on the cars outside. We just didn’t know it was some group of fancy politicians also in town to watch hockey.

Dumodad: you Europeans and your weird politicians. Apparently the little politic guy didn’t like Russians. So his body guard tackled Sergei down. Sergei fought back. And somehow I ended up in the tangle of suits and Canada onesies.

Sergei_81: he blame Russia for stupid shit I might get mad. Police came and put us in little jail in hotel. Sunny no where

Sunnysideup: I went to get help. I didn’t know you were going to fight the bodyguards of the German minister of trade now did I?

Dumodad: was it German? I thought it was Spain. The flag was yellow and red.

Krisvolley: wait so. In the middle of an Olympic tournament, the three of you (all dads and husbands by 2015) gets shitfaced on vodka, go on a flag stealing rampage through Prague and get tackled by German secret services? 😫

Sergei_81: not Prague just one hotel. And car park. And house opposite.

Siriusly: how did you get out?

Sunnysideup: I bailed them out. Or. I managed to explain that they’re big hockey stars and got backstrom and oveckin to come and support me.. Ovi just giggled. Backy just stared until they agreed. He’s scary. Sergei was cursing a lot. Dumo was crying at one point... hehehehe he . I think dumo was nearly benched no after?

DumoDad: somehow the team found out and little mr captain was not happy?. Also at this point sergei was mostly naked as the onesie gave up halfway through wrestling Germans. We got a big fine, had to formally issue an apology to the German delegates and the hotel. And Sergei had to pay another fine for embarrassing Russia 😂

Sergei_81: they happy I hit German but I couldn’t say hehe. Also lost a croc never found it. Walk home in one shoe 👟

Siriusly: I can’t believe you almost caused an international incident because you were arguing about vodka.

Sunnysideup: you should see us scandies when it comes to the origins of meatballs. Pesky Danes trying to steal credit. 🤬

Blizzard: and you’re all still talking about me and the fountain. Also. We were on the lions team then? How come you’ve managed to keep this quiet? Also. Where are the pictures of this? I have so many questions.

DumoDad: Sunny has pictures. And so does the Czech police. And maybe the hotel. And it stays that way.

Blizzard: sunny. I want pictures.

Sunnysideup: lord Stanley will decide ❤️ also pretty sure both ovi and backy has some. For revenge purposes.

Siriusly: DONT jinx.

Prongstar: you broke cap.

—-

Tuesday 2.54 pm

Alice: Sirius.

Alice: Sirius pick up your phone.

Alice: Sirius Orion Black. Please tell me that a picture of you and Remus in a closet in Ikea’s kids department is fake.

Sirius: I was in hiding. Re helped me. We didn’t do anything

Alice: your shirt is on backwards.

Sirius: it’s a fashion statement.

Alice: and the shark?

Sirius: no comment

——

Part two is coming up.

——

[coco-because-its-loco]

Get ready for a long post. Sorry about the scrolling. I just feel the need to analyze this scene. I’ve said it before but it is one of my FAVORITE Coco scenes and is what inspired me to pursue animating.

I found an awesome site that has LOADS of screenshots of Coco in very nice quality. Which I got from another amazing Coco blogger @twilit-violet-one so special thanks for that!

Alright onto the scene dissection!

Imelda, “I want nothing to do with you! Not in life, not in death.”

Interesting about this one. You’d think she’d be angry but this face looks more hurt and sad then frustrated or angry. I like to think it’s because deep down she hates that she is saying this. Obviously she wants to say it and she means it. But we all know Hector is the love of her life. I think it pains her to think that Hector abandoned her. She loved him with all her heart and wanted him to stay and never leave. But when he did leave and never came back, it broke her heart, not out of anger necessarily but because it hurts her to think someone she loved so deeply could cause her that much pain.

I will be putting some bonus Hector screenshots in here too cuz OH MY FREAKING GOODNESS LOOK AT HOW SAD HE IS!!!! He is so dadgum sorry for what happened! He hates seeing her in so much pain ugh guys this is one of the frames that really gets me. If I stare too long I might just cry. But we can’t move on yet. You might be wondering Why doesn’t Imelda notice how sorry he is?! She says in this scene “How many times must I turn you away?” Which would imply that he had tried making contact with her since she died. She’s turned him away many times and I’m sure he was just as sorrowful looking before. She probably assumes that he is “cowaring” because of her yelling and not because he is actually sorry. We all know Imelda can be quite intimidating. She’s probably used to giving people these reactions 🤣 Ok sorry yes moving on.

Miguel, “He was trying to get me home. I didn’t wanna listen. But he was right. Nothing is more important than family.”

This is her face RIGHT after Miguel says “Nothing is more important than family.” The entire rest of his line before hand she still looks furious. I mean think about it. Miguel said “He was right” Imelda probably thought that Miguel was about to go on a long explanation as to why music is the most important thing. As soon as he says “Nothing is more important than family” she is SHOCKED. Like that is the last thing she expected Miguel to learn from Hector, the man she believed has put music before everything for nearly a century. She’s just properly confused. It doesn’t make any sense to her.

Miguel, “He’s part of our family.”

Imelda, “He left this family!”

At this point she still has no reason to believe that he would ever put family first. As she said, he left his family. Hence the anger rising again.

Miguel, “He tried to go home to you and Coco. But de la Cruz murdered him.”

She actually listens here! You can see in her face she’s truly listening and never suspected what had actually happened. She’s shocked and sad... again. Why is this shocking? If she has turned Hector away so many times in the past few decades, why hasn’t Hector told her that he died trying to come home? Even though Hector didn’t know he was murdered by Ernesto, he still thought he died by a bad chorizo. The thing is... Imelda is quite a force to be reckoned with. I highly doubt any interaction between the two of them in the land of the dead prior to this movie consisted of much conversationing. It probably mainly involved her yelling and throwing shoes at him. I don’t think she ever gave Hector the chance to explain himself. But NOW Imelda is hearing it from her great great grandson who just claimed Hector is putting family first. I think she’s a bit more curious and definitely more open to listening to Miguel rather than Hector himself.

No pictures for this next part but I still wanted to comment on the dialogue here.

Imelda, “And so what if it’s true?! You leave me alone with a child to raise and I’m just supposed to forgive you?”

This I think is one of the main lines people think she is being too harsh. But let’s just step in her Rivera shoes for a second here. She literally JUST found out that he was murdered... she doesn’t know when, how? or anything else. For all she knows he could’ve been gone on the road for 5 years before wanting to come home. Now of course we all know that wasn’t the case but my point is, this is all new information for her and for the past 100 years she has been angry that he left them for music. Just because he was murdered doesn’t change the fact that he still left and she still raised Coco on her own. Also I imagine it’s difficult to let go of a century of anger after hearing 1 sentence. I mean I’ve never been angry at someone for 100 years straight but I’d imagine it’s hard to get over.

Imelda, “You leave me alone with a child to raise and I’m just supposed to forgive you?”

Hector, “Imelda, I-“

(Imelda gasps)

That first pic man. That hurts. I feel that. Her empathy! Sadness! Surprise! Regret! How many emotions is this woman feeling in this ONE SHOT! I got to really break it down now.

Sadness- She is genuinely sad to see him this way. It looks like she’d cry to see him in that much pain. Her sadness proves that she DOES care for him. If she truly wanted him forgotten, seeing him fade wouldn’t be this emotional.

Surprise- It’s as if she has never even thought about him facing the final death. I mean surely she must’ve known ripping his photo, banning music, and never talking about him would lead to him being forgotten? The mind is a curious thing. While she wanted to forget him and wanted her family to forget him, she never truly wanted to harm the person she loved! She wanted to forget the hurtful actions, not her love. But the only way to forget the pain was to snuff him out too. I think she’s surprised because she never wanted to face the truth that by banning his stories, she was killing the love of her life.

Regret- This goes with the surprise in a way. She didn’t want to ever imagine Hector facing the final death. She is now regretting all of her own actions that is leading him to be forgotten.

Also Hector again DADGUM GOODNESS YOUR EYES ARE TEARING THROUGH MY SOUL! HE LOOKS SO BROKEN!

Right, sorry, moving on.

Imelda, “I wanted to forget you. I wanted Coco to forget you too.”

I’d like to point out her shoulder blades here. First of all it’s pretty cool cuz usually you wouldn’t be able to notice them on a living person but since you can see through her ribs it’s easy to spot... that sentence though 🤣

The first pic where she’s “slouching” (lower shoulder blades) you can tell she’s “defeated” and feels awful about what happened and how she handled everything. I can’t even put it to words, you can see she is almost like shameful! And then the second pic she tightens her shoulders when she admits that she wanted to forget him! Like it’s painful for her to admit it and she doesn’t want to show it.

Hector, “This is my fault. Not yours. I’m sorry, Imelda.”

Wow k. So many things where do I start.

Picture one. I’d like to note here that Hector cut her off. She was going to keep talking after “I wanted Coco to forget you too.” but he interjected. She actually stopped talking and let HIM speak. This entire time has been Imelda and Miguel going back and forth and she finally let him speak! You know how huge that is? Like I said earlier, I doubt she has ever let him explain himself since he could have very well said “I tried coming home but I died because of food poisoning!” If she hasn’t let him say that, I doubt she has let him speak to her at all. He just interjected her and she is allowing him to talk. That first pic just screams regret and shame to me. She isn’t even looking him in the eye and it’s as if she’s pondering all that had truly happened and trying to process. Right there she can feel the blame and the fault of the situation. Why do you think Hector just said “This is my fault.” He can see she is blaming herself and taking the guilt. He said that to relieve HER pain.

Now a lot of people don’t like that Hector blames himself. and I get it. It’s not his fault that his best friend murdered him. But he was the one who left. He still walked out the door for music. And there was no way for Imelda to know that he died. What was she supposed to think? And even if after she died she found out that he died trying to return, there’d be no way to communicate with the land of the living. Imelda can’t just contact her living family like, ‘Hey Elena! It was all a big misunderstanding! You can play music and tell Hector’s stories now!” Imelda couldn’t physically have prevented Hector being forgotten. But it also isn’t Hector’s fault either. Yes, he left, but he tried fixing his mistake. We all know Ernesto is to blame here, you know he is the murderer and everything but it’s obvious Hector feels guilty for leaving in the first place and he doesn’t want Imelda taking the blame for any of it. {Which is so dadgum cute oh my goodness}

Picture two. This may very well be the first time Hector said he was sorry. Whether it was his fault or not, whether he thinks it’s his fault or not, he is sorry that Imelda was left alone. Judging by her surprised expression, I don’t think Hector has ever apologized to her before. She had always believed it was his fault but now she’s unsure. She’s blaming herself and still processing. This is a lot to take in. And still, his fault or not, she truly hears his apology. I don’t even know how to explain it but it’s almost like she is feeling the words.

And the third pic. She is sorry too. And still surprised and completely touched that he is apologizing. I mean the way he apologized too! You can see in HIS face and hear through HIS words how sorry he is and I think that Imelda feels bad for how sorry he feels. Otherwise I don’t think she’d look so sad.

Imelda, “I can’t forgive you.”

LOOK AT HOW FREAKING SAD SHE IS!!! It's as if she wants to forgive him but she can't and again, I can't stress enough, OVER NINETY YEARS she believed he intentionally abandoned her and their daughter. Anger that long doesn't just go away after a single minute and I think she feels sad about that. Real quick though, can you honestly imagine her jumping back into his arms right this second? We all know she does end up literally jumping into his arms after La Llorona but right now in this scene can you really picture her just being like "Oooooooh ok l get it now. Nah, it's cool, I forgive you. Clean slate! You can just forget that I was angry for almost a century. We're good."

I've already made an ENTIRE post just about her "But I will help you." Line but I am out of open slots for pictures and have probably effectively wrote your eyes out. But I hope you enjoyed it, if not at least found something interesting.

I would like to say one more thing! The amount of time and heart that was poured into this scene to give these characters such incredible emotion just stuns me. Truly, the people who worked on this scene need an oscar themselves and if I ever got the chance to meet them I would be incredibly awe struck because this scene took some serious skill. Thank you for being an inspiration!

[artistic-arborealist]

Chatlog between artistic-arborealist and bloodiedwater

[Takes place sometime shortly after this post.

IC private, posted under the cut.]

bloodiedwater

hey

I-

I kind of

appreciate?

your optimism and spirit-upness?

and that's nice or something I guess.

I just thought maybe I could talk to you some more since you

Whatever

Never mind it's not very important

Um but. Thank you for your responses to me? I know I can sometimes be brusque and I'm sorry or whatever?

Are you ignoring me.

Um.

Oh my god this was such a bad idea.

Anyway whatever it's not very important to me.

artistic-arborealist

Well, I'm glad I could ~help a little~, then!

Even if it doesn't address the ~root of the problem~.

And I can definitely talk!

It was a ~good idea~!

Sorry, I just got out of work!

(Spring-pet pic offer is still open, if you want! And I'm ~right by the lab~!)

bloodiedwater

a. spring pet. pic.

what is. a spring pet. pic

Is it where you take a picture of your pet, that you got for spring.

I don't like pets. I thought I mentioned that earlier.

artistic-arborealist

Oh, sorry! So I work in pharmaceutical engineering! Basically we make pets better satisfy spring-instincts!

So I work with a large amount of ~large-eyed puppies and kittens~!

bloodiedwater

wow that's nice huh

artistic-arborealist

But you definitely don't have to look at them!

bloodiedwater

stop being so----!!!

aaaaa!

if you want to show me them--!

I don;t even like animals that much

Um

Oh my god I can't believe I freaked out about this

Sorry

I am making such a mess out of this!

Are you mad at me?

artistic-arborealist

You're fine! And I am ~not mad~!

bloodiedwater

This is so stupid. I'm sorry for being so weird about stupid animal pictures

Of course you are oh my god oh my god oh my god

WHY DO YOU HATE ME

...okay forget about all that

bloodiedwater

sorry

I am not very good at, stopping to think before i send messages

I bet I sent you too many. and now I'm sending you more.

this is why I don't message people very much. oh my god

ARE YOU MAD AT ME?

artistic-arborealist

It sounds like you're having a really hard day.

And no, I'm ~really not mad~!

You really don't have to like animals! They're just my go-to for sad people in the spring, because I am ~not actually that great at being comforting~!

bloodiedwater

I'm not even having that bad--! a day!

I just! am bad at interacting with people okay???

artistic-arborealist

Well, I suck at being comforting, so ~we're even~!

~So there~!

bloodiedwater

If you WANT to send me some PICTURES OF SPRING ANIMALS THEN YOU CAN, OKAY?

You didn't win! I won!

^witness: me making a joke

I was playing along with your joke

at least I think it was a joke.

maybe it wasn't?

artistic-arborealist

It was ~joking~, yes!

"Oh gee, your sad, and that's ~bad~!" (It's me, I'm the ~bad at comforting person~.)

bloodiedwater

huh?

in my language you can't possess sadness

Well, you can, just not like how you phrased it...

usually we'd put a copula there?

inflected for the second person?

artistic-arborealist

Oh my gosh, I left off the verb, sorry! That ~should be~ "you are sad" not "you sad"!

But wait, it's being translated as ~possessive~???

~Translation project~, why!!!

bloodiedwater

oh

dang

sorry

do you want me to not correct you

I can do that

I guess

sorry

artistic-arborealist

It's ~not your fault~!

bloodiedwater

I'm not really sorry but I'm apologizing anyway.

Well that's true. It's totally your fault,

so I shouldn't apologize for it,

I'm glad we're square on that.

artistic-arborealist

I blame the translation project!

My country's translation project is a ~moldy potato~!

bloodiedwater

Oh. Okay.

Is that why you're so weird.

Always with the tildes.

Do you mean to sound. So optimistic. And enthusiastic.

Since.

That is a main quality of the you who inhabits a minuscule portion of my mind.

And it would be too bad, if it was just, you know.

The translation project

Since they aren't bad qualities. At all.

I mean in some cases they would be bad.

Really bad.

artistic-arborealist

I am using, "I'm happy to be having a conversation with you" punctuation!

bloodiedwater

But in the cases you are in now they are not, in whole, bad traits

What kind of punctuation am I using.

artistic-arborealist

And I do my best to be ~optimistic~!

So, most people in other languages seem to be using ~neutral punctuation~! It makes everyone sound like they're writing for an academic essay, a little!

bloodiedwater

oh.

does it hurt you?

to try so hard to be optimistic?

are you upset?

artistic-arborealist

["Does it hurt," wonders Arbor.]

[They would have completely denied it, before...]

I don't think it ~hurts me to try~?

But I feel bad for failing, sometimes? Since I've been a ~bit of a downer lately~.

bloodiedwater

Oh.

It's okay to be sad.

:(

You seem kind of down.

It's okay to be sad around other people

even if they feel sadder afterwards.

because.

Yeah.

artistic-arborealist

I

~Thank you~

I've been moping, and lots of people keep telling me that they're totally fine, and I'm not ~bringing them down at all~.

And I can tell they're lying to make me feel better.

Everyone else has moved on, but it still hurts for me.

And I don't want to remind them of it again, because it had ~hurt them too~.

bloodiedwater

Oh

Wow

That sucks.

Um. How do you know they are lying to you.

Um. Also. Fuck them

Not really

But

Fuck them

Like

Mope when you want to mope

It's okay

When other people mope it's okay

Even if it makes you sadder, it is ok when other people mope

Instead of being freaking beams of sunshine. That you suspect. Are breaking down inside.

artistic-arborealist

So it's possible I'm just reading too much into normal topic changes, since I feel bad?

So that is actually ~really validating~ coming from you.

I mean, I've had the "It's ~alright to cry~," talk from my family

But they're my family, they're obliged tell me that.

bloodiedwater

no they aren't

they are just... saying nice things to you because.

they think it's okay. for you to cry.

but. it is nice that you find talking to me pleasant. for some. reason.

>So it's possible I'm just reading too much into normal topic changes, since I feel bad? huh?

artistic-arborealist

So, I know that ~intellectually~ but it still helps to hear it from a non-family person!

(And why wouldn't I find talking to you pleasant?)

Oh, that was in reply to "~how do [I] know they're lying~".

bloodiedwater

Oh

Ok

Um

Lots of people don't

Or so I hear

Like talking

To me

I mean

Since I talk

Sort of funny

And

Maybe not about

Very interesting

Things

Yeah

Sorry

also since I get

Really insecure about things

like this actually

I get really worried that people are mad at me even when they're not mad at me!

And I don't worry enough that people are mad at me when they are mad at me and everything blows up in my face and it is so awful!!!

Oh my god

I'm really nervous about talking to you actually

Or, I was

I mean

I am not

Great at talking to new people

Yeah

But

Yeah

I am really glad

That you seem to

That you've said that you enjoy talking to me?

And I guess I'll take you on your word?

and because you haven't blocked me?

Anyway. You were saying. Something.

About

How you were mourning or something

Oh god I am so bad this

Whole

Reciprocal

Conversation

Thing

["why aren't they responding," thinks bida frantically. "why aren't they responding. did I text them to much. are they mad at me. did they get hit by a locomotive vehicle."]

["what if texting me made them get run over by a locomotive vehicle?"]

artistic-arborealist

I think you talk fine and also about interesting things?

~Math is very interesting~!

[Meanwhile, Arbor is reading downward, and oblivious to the internal conflict occurring elsewhere.]

bloodiedwater

that is

a very nice

thing to say

i

appreciate

that

you said

it

though I don't

know if you really

mean it

or are just being

reassuring

in some generic way

because i do

talk funny

and that's just. the truth.

I need to

go to my job. which I have.

would it be okay if we talked again later?

I hope you're not mad at me?

I don't understand why you leave such long absences in between your messages!!

artistic-arborealist

I think you talk in a way that's understandable, and straightforward, and conveys information, which is ~generally what talking is for~?

But it is definitely okay to talk later!

bloodiedwater

Oh

I am

Really surprised

I don't

think most people

Understand

When I talk

I think

They think

It is funny

But thank

you.

And. ok

good bye

<3 ?

artistic-arborealist

~You're welcome~!

And I hope your ~day at work goes well~!

(And that one day the world stops being ~stupid~ and you get to go do math work, too!)

[rankpersonal242]

Dating Sites For Short Guys

Online Profile Examples For Men

Dating Site For Short Guys

Dating Sites For Short Men

There is this weird prejudice in our society implying that a man has to be taller than his girlfriend – anything other than that is seen as “weird” or “unorthodox”. This often leads to many shorter men feeling insecure and anxious when it comes to dating taller women.

Dinky One, a new matchmaking website, aims to combat penis-size pressure by helping those with smaller phalluses find love. “Dinky One was created to help guys who are smaller than average,”. Short Friends Date is a Completely FREE Short Dating Site which connects Short Single Men & Women with fellow Short people. Meet Single Short Personals in your local area at ShortFriendsDate.com. Our Short Friends Date have diffferent categories of people, i.e Short & Cute Singles Meetup, Short Friends Club, Short Friends Dating Buddies, Short.

Actress Lizz Adams recently shared a picture of herself and her shorter husband

Image credits: Lizz

Image credits: Lizz

Image credits: Lizz

“The reaction was much bigger than I’d anticipated, to be honest! It blew up after a couple of big accounts retweeted it, and I think it hit a nerve with a lot of people who misunderstood the intention behind it,” said Lizz in an interview with Bored Panda.

Image credits: Lizz

Image credits: Lizz

The woman is a comedian as well and says she speaks in hyperbole a lot which is probably why many people thought she was speaking badly about tall people. This was not her intention, however. “I am taller than my husband, who I love very much, but was just pointing out how arbitrary height requirements are, and that discounting a potential partner based on their height could prevent you from meeting someone really special,” said Lizz.

Lizz’s post inspired many other women who date shorter men to share their own adorable couple pics

Image credits: aiviloangel

Image credits: PorcelainAngelx

“I imagine it’s because of the reaction people have when they see a taller woman with a shorter man,” said the woman when asked why some men feel insecure being shorter than women. “I don’t think the stigma applies as much to non-hetero couples, but there’s this perception that women should be with men that are larger than them and that sort of toxic masculinity makes men feel like they have to be huge and strong to be manly, but being a good man has nothing to do with how you look.”

Image credits: whitalynn_xo

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Image credits: monetmignon

Lizz’s advice to girls interested in dating shorter guys and guys interested in taller girls is to shoot their shot. “Get to know the person you’re interested in, establish a connection and go for it!” says the actress. “If they’re not interested, that’s ok, they’re not the person for you, move on to someone who appreciates you for you, not just your optics!”

Image credits: tory_scribbles

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Image credits: EmmaleeAlese

Image credits: NMC2010

Image credits: jessielim_nyc

“I just wanted to add that the only thing I regret about my original tweet is making light of a very real disease that affects a lot of people. I didn’t mean to shade alcoholics, or imply that all tall people abuse alcohol, it was a flippant tweet I sent off without thinking, and I appreciate the people who brought that to my attention and apologize for any offense in that regard!” added Lizz.

People loved Lizz’s message

Image credits: SimianJimmy

Online Profile Examples For Men

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Dating Site For Short Guys

From The Desk Of: Scot McKay Subject: Attract the women you want..regardless of your height.

If you're like me, you've felt underestimated or even flat-out dismissed your entire life because you're shorter than average.

I'm sure you've also heard there's nothing you can do, so you might as well 'get over it'..especially when it comes to attracting women.

After all, overweight guys can lose weight. Bald guys can use Rogaine.

But shorter guys can't become taller.

To top it all off, chances are you've been discouraged by the astounding lack of resources available to help you counter that kind of bad information. Obviously, none of this is your fault..which is why feeling helpless--and hopeless--hurts so much.

But listen..I firmly believe you don't have to feel that way ever again.

My name is Scot McKay and I'm living proof that you can totally eliminate the 'height issue' so that it's no longer a disadvantage.

What's more, I have proven evidence that many women can be powerfully compelled to prefer you as a man of short stature over a taller guy..if you know the simple steps to making it happen.

Best of all, these breakthough secrets can be easily learned and understood today by any man, resulting in immediate and explosive effects.

Accomplishing this radical transformation in your life involves no deception or trickery whatsoever.

It’s all about harnessing the truth..making reality work for you instead of against you.

If you're skeptical, it's because you have been programmed by the opinions of others.

I know what you've heard and what you've been through. I've been there myself.

And given what the media leads us to believe about ourselves, far too many men of shorter stature struggle when it comes to women.

Let me confirm what you already suspect: You've been lied to.

When you open your eyes to the reality that surrounds you, you'll see there are shorter men everywhere who are getting fantastic women. No compromises. And absolutely NO 'settling'.

It's time you became one of those guys. And you can..much more quickly and easily than you ever thought possible.

I'm about to reveal how you can put years or even decades of frustration and humiliation in the rear-view mirror..forever.

Online Dating Profile Professionals Since 2005, ProfileHelper has grown to be the leading online dating profile writing service in the United States, Canada, Europe, Australia, and throughout the world. ProfileHelper.com’s dating coaches have personally helped more. Professional dating profile photos.

I've spent countless hours organizing the field-tested strategies that have led me (and many friends my size and even shorter) to unequivocally conclude that shorter men can utterly obliterate any perceived disadvantage based on shorter stature--while magnetically inspiring hot, sexy women to favor us over taller men.

Be honest. If that kind of knowledge fell into your hands, how dramatically would your life change for the better overnight?

You could finally cast aside any limiting belief that only taller guys get the hottest women..once and for all.

But since there has never been a proven system like this ever before, you may not be ready to simply take my word for it.

So let me introduce the first five of many previously untold secrets I have in store for you:

How to PROTECT a woman and make her feel SAFE more effectively than the vast majority of men on the planet can..REGARDLESS of your height. (and no, you don't have to learn martial arts or anything!)

Wealthy dating app. Luxy is the best luxury millionaire matchmaker, dating App for wealthy, rich, elite, successful, beautiful and high-quality singles who like all things Luxury. Match, chat & date with local. Luxy has been developed with an emphasis on financial prosperity. It is the best dating site for those interested in meeting wealthy singles who are living a luxurious lifestyle. If you’re someone who is already reaping the benefits of a successful career, then rich dating is where you belong. EHarmony is one of the best dating apps for wealthy singles because you can find a partner who is compatible with your personality and values. If you are worried about connecting with singles who want to use you, eHarmony is a great option for finding love without your money being a factor. Start a Free Trial Account Now!

Why most of the failure short guys experience is completely REVERSIBLE. Learn simple, actionable ways to STAY OUT of the trap.

Learn the natural ADVANTAGES (YES..I said ADVANTAGES) that short men have, and how to capitalize on all fo them to drive women WILD with attraction.

Get inside a woman's mind to discover the irresistibly attractive trait that a shorter man is actually MORE LIKELY to possess..but which most of us would NEVER guess is so powerful. (Hint: Chances are you've been trying to KILL this trait your entire life.)

Powerful, PROVEN strategies that magically cause people to drop any negative thoughts and judgment regarding your height. Apply these mind-blowing principles in social situations, in the business world AND when meeting women..and watch the breathtaking transformation that occurs.

Does all of this sound too good to be true? If so, I can respect that, mostly because I've been where you are.

But I've seen the reality of what I'm talking about manifest itself in my life--so powerfully, in fact, that now I've got a special gift for you.

On the next page I am going to reveal for you a real secret..right here, right now.

You're about to discover one simple action, followed by one specific 'done for you' phrase, that will cause a certain type of woman to immediately forget about your height 'disadvantage' forever.

You'll immediately realize that it makes perfect sense, yet virtually zero shorter guys naturally figure it out..ever.

But with just this one, foolproof step you'll likely even get women to favor you over taller men.

So why am I giving such valuable information away?

The answer is simple, really.

Once you know for sure (like so many others do already) that I am on to something here, I'm confident you'll want to know every other secret I have.

And sharing such unique and powerful concepts to my fellow brethren who aren’t so tall has already become one of the most meaningful missions I have ever embarked upon.

So take the first simple step and discover this powerful secret. I want you to know the truth and start enjoying the rich success with women you deserve (plus, you'll get a free subscription to my famous X & Y Communications Newsletter):

Dating Sites For Short Men

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[daleisgreat]

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Season Six

-I am indefinitely grateful for your patience awaiting my semi-annual Star Trek: The Next Generation season recaps. Today I bestow upon you all my thoughts for the penultimate sixth season (trailer) of TNG. It is already a little jarring to realize I am down to one season left on this series I have gradually-yet-steadily been picking away at the past three years. Once again, all the screens here are courtesy of me pointing my outdated Samsung Galaxy S7 phone at the TV screen so you have my apologies for the questionable fidelity of the pics! -For notable cast changes, there are several I want to make sure to address. Transporter Chief O’Brien (Colm Meaney) departs midway through this season to be a regular cast member on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine which started in January of 1993. I knew of Colm’s switching shows during this season for a while now and was anticipating some big episode or climactic scene explaining his departure from TNG. While there was a crossover episode introducing some of the new Deep Space Nine characters right before its debut, there was never a scene this addressing O’Brien leaving the Enterprise….unless it was a quick passing line of dialogue that went right over my head! Another notable change is halfway through the season Counselor Troi (Marina Sirtis) gets chastised by a new interim commander for her unorthodox uniform and makes her fall in line wearing matching Enterprise uniforms with the rest of the crew. In the bonus interviews on the BluRay, Marina states how she had to fight for a matching uniform for many years and it was one of the few things the higher ups finally granted her.

-I am glad TNG compensated for the lack of a Q (John de Lancie) episode last season and had him in two episodes in season six. The first episode is a middling affair where he steals a Starfleet prospect who discovers she is a long lost member of the Q Continuum. The second Q episode fares much better where Q helps a stuck-in-purgatory-Picard (Patrick Stewart) after Doctor Crusher (Gates McFadden) has a return of poor doctoring and loses Picard on the operating table. The two travel back to pivotal moments in Picard’s younger days to see if he would change the past in order to get a second chance at the future in an investing episode. Speaking of Crusher’s poor doctoring, there is another episode this season where it feels like the writers are in on the joke and have an episode where Crusher is disbarred after some major bad doctoring again on her part….but of course Crusher manages to change that by the episode’s end. If my notes are accurate (no promises!), than I believe this is the first season with no appearance from Troi’s mother, Lwaxana (Majel Barrett)! I would not be surprised if she has two episode next season. Season six also does not feature an appearance from Wesley Crusher (Wil Wheaton), but I understand he will return in time for the series finale in season seven. A recurring character who does return is everyone’s favorite engineer, Reginald Barclay (Dwight Schultz), who is in a couple episodes this season, with him playing a key part in a holodeck episode with another long overdue returning character I will touch on soon.

Not only does Worf has some killer episodes this season, he also demonstrates his prowess at Yoga this season....while Crusher continues to demonstrate her prowess at poor doctoring. -There are a pair of excellent holodeck episodes this season. The first one is easily the best named episode of the entire series in “Fistful of Datas.” It sees Troi, Data (Brent Spiner), Worf (Michael Dorn) and his son, Alexander go on a wild west adventure where problems with the holodeck causes Data to take over nearly all the AI personas in the simulation. Swashbuckling hilarity ensues! The other holodeck episode sees the return of Professor Moriarty (Daniel Davis). This was long anticipated since Moriarty’s last appearance in season two as the Sherlock Holmes antagonist who became self-aware and whose consciousness became trapped in the holodeck in the following four years. In “Ship in a Bottle,” Moriarty attempts a master plan to connive his way out of the holodeck as a program and as an actual living being. The twists and turns that lead up to the gratifying resolution for everyone was a memorable ride and sadly Davis’s last guest appearance on the show. Daniel Davis and Patrick Stewart have a natural chemistry with each other that shines whenever those two share the screen, so I highly recommend tracking down and viewing both of his episodes!

-The flute that Picard was gifted in the previous season once again returns for a couple of memorable scenes when Picard starts courting another crew member who plays keyboard. Naturally this leads to the two having an emotional duet together that starts off kind of hokey, but by the end the pair had me reeled in all the way! Just click or press here to see for yourself. -Worf has a few notable dedicated episodes this season. A two episode arc sees him track down a long lost colony of Klingons imprisoned by Romulans that has Worf encouraging them to relearn and embrace Klingon customs. Another episode has Worf dealing with the fallout of seeing the return of the Klingon god, Kahless, and the fascinating drama that unravels with another satisfying conclusion for all conflicting parties involved.

-Even though by season six nearly the entire cast and writing team was firing away on all cylinders, I would be lying if there were not a couple clunker episodes. Riker (Jonathon Frakes) portrays a mental patient in a play he is rehearsing for, but the play starts going to his head and he starts losing it for real, but the way the plot unfolds is a mess and a half to follow along with. The other dud is TNG’s homage to The Thing which sounds promising on paper, but instead features lousy CG of its “Thing” and a groan-inducing twist that was not entertaining whatsoever. -As much as I enjoyed Leonard Nimoy returning to play Spock last season, I was delighted even more with The Original Series star James Doohan dusting off his communicator to portray Scotty. Watching him overcome his differences and exchange engineer expertise with Geordi (LeVar Burton) was a treat. The scene with Scotty and Picard sharing a drink on a holodeck reimagining of the original Enterprise gave me nostalgic goosebumps throughout.

-Season six started off with the conclusion to “Time’s Arrow” that saw the TNG crew time travelling back to the 1890s where they first encountered Guinan (Whoopi Goldberg) and were forced to alter the timeline to rescue Data, and win over an aggressive Mark Twain. While not on the level of the “Best of Both Worlds” two-parter season finale, it was still a highly entertaining two-parter in its own right, and as I alluded to earlier, I am all for seeing the TNG crew in an old west setting. Season six ends with another cliffhanger that sees the Enterprise encounter the Borg again, and they manage to convince Data to flee the Enterprise to seemingly join the Borg as their new leader. Suffice it to say, I am intrigued to see how this pays off in season seven! -I referenced a few times before here how I was keeping up with podcast reviews of every TNG episode with the show, Star Trek: The Next Conversation. It looks like I have finally caught up with where hosts Andrew Secunda and Matt Mira have recorded their latest shows just a couple episodes before the end of season six. It looks like they took a few extended breaks this season, and I cannot fault them for that at all when dealing with everything the pandemic has wreaked upon us all this past year. I still enjoyed their takes as usual, and plan on going back and listening to whenever they post new episodes to catch up with their remaining casts covering TNG. I understand they have a Patreon companion with exclusive podcasts dedicated with them marching through both Deep Space Nine and Voyager now, so who knows, I may have to start working my way through those series down the line.

-You know the drill by now, this BluRay is loaded with carried over DVD extra features and all new ones for the BluRay. Not including three commentary tracks for this season, there are just over three hours of behind-the-scenes interviews and documentaries. Almost all of them are informative, but I will only recommend a few of the must-see ones here. Mission Overview: Year Six has introspective reflections from Whoopi on “Time’s Arrow” and James Doohan on “Relics.” Bold New Directions has some fond insights on “Fistful of Datas” and fascinating memories from Stewart and Burton from getting their shot at directing episodes this season. Beyond Five Year Mission – Evolution of Star Trek: The Next Generation is the headlining all-new bonus feature. It is an hour and a half, and split into three parts. Part one has plenty of love for being the cast and crew’s personal favorite season of the show, debuting Deep Space Nine concurrently during this season and trying their best to work within Gene Roddenberry’s “no conflict” framework of the series. Part two is themed around TNG being more serious when compared to TOS, and highlighting how several episodes were scored. Part three stands out the most with an awesome story from Whoopi on what lead to her becoming involved on the show, Sirtis dealing with a lot of pushback from studio executives and Spiner’s love/hate relationship with the cat that played Spot.

There may be many hours of bonus interviews to sift through, but most of it is worth it for endearing moments above like Burton and Frakes sharing a laugh, and Spiner sharing his disdain for a certain feline. -Season six is a step up from the minor-yet-noticeable dip in quality from season five, and brings it back to the high bar established with seasons three and four of TNG. The highs were remarkably prominent this season with some standout holodeck episodes, memorable two-parters, and a scintillating season finale that has me anticipating the kickoff to the season seven. I cannot believe it, after a few years of starting this, I am finally down to just one season left of this legendary show. Please join me one last time here in a few months for my thoughts on the final season of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Past TV/Web Series Blogs 2013-14 TV Season Recap 2014-15 TV Season Recap 2015-16 TV Season Recap 2016-17 TV Season Recap 2017-18 TV Season Recap 2018-19 TV Season Recap 2019-20 TV Season Recap Adventures of Briscoe County Jr: The Complete Series Baseball: A Ken Burns series Angry Videogame Nerd Home Video Collections Cobra Kai – Seasons 1-2 Mortal Kombat: Legacy - Season 1 | Season 2 OJ: Made in America: 30 for 30 RedvsBlue - Seasons 1-13 Roseanne – Seasons 1-9 Seinfeld - Final Season Star Trek: Next Generation – Seasons 1-7 Superheroes: A Never-Ending Battle Superheroes: Pioneers of Television The Vietnam War: A Ken Burns series X-Men – The Animated Series: Volumes 4-5

[grumpycollegetips]

How coping with anxiety and depression in college helped me forge strong friendships

This essay -- pretty much a love letter to my undergrad college experience -- had been 5 years in the making. Today, on World Mental Health Day, I’m sharing the obstacles I faced 5 years ago as a 17-year old college freshman who suffered from anxiety and depression.

While running this blog, several people reached out with general mental health questions and asked for advice on how to get away with not drinking in college, so I’m back with a hopefully uplifting story as someone who’s grown exponentially through battling anxiety and depression. If you’re on your own mental health journey, at any stage in your life, this story is for you.

TL;DR, College was the best thing to happen to my mental health.

When I rolled up to campus on college move-in day in an SUV full of dorm necessities five years ago, I didn’t think I was asking for much from my college experience. All I wanted was to stop being so afraid of everything.

At 17 years old, I felt anything from wary to terrified of what I imagined a typical college student looks forward to in their first year. Independence, new people and social events were the last things my anxiety disorder wanted to experience, even after almost a year of talk therapy and medication. I'd spent the months leading up to my first semester of college embarking on painstakingly planned dorm shopping trips — the routes I'd drive, in what order I'd visit stores, what I'd buy from each — and spending hours late at night preparing for dorm life by watching endless amounts of YouTube. I needed to know exactly what to expect from my college experience so I could be in complete control of it.

In the first year following my diagnosis of depression stemming from generalized anxiety disorder, I’d made minimal progress, enough that I wasn’t crying every other therapy session.

But I knew that I could do better. Somehow, I was sure there would be a day for me when I didn’t feel burdened with my invasive, obsessive and oppressive thoughts. I knew that someday I wouldn't spend most of my waking moments fearing a panic attack.

That ideal life, I decided, was going to start with me living in a dorm full of strangers at a college campus a safe 30 miles from home. 

(Above: Look, I did things! It took hours of mental planning to prepare for a social event, and I left early.)

At first, being in a shared living situation with a mental illness wasn’t too conducive to starting friendships on the right foot. Depression for me didn’t look like the girl who lived at the end of our hall and never said a word to any of us all year — an image most people would associate with such a mental illness. I was friendly, I got along with my hallmates, and I did normal things like going on Target runs and sunbathing on the lawn.

(Aforementioned Target run. Let’s not talk about the quality of either the pic or my choice in food.)

But while my new friends saw me as amiable, I later learned they also thought I was closed-off because I’d often turn down invitations to anything from seeing a movie to going to the dining hall across campus. My anxious, irrational thoughts told me I’d have a panic attack during “The Fault in Our Stars” and an asthma attack while walking across campus. I knew I shouldn’t, but I listened to that voice. I believed it.

So I overcompensated for being held back with anxiety by suggesting we do things within my comfort zone; I bought Bananagrams, Jenga and Apples to Apples; shared a 50-pack of chocolate chip cookies with the entire floor every week; started a collection of film classics for movie nights in our 11-by-14 double room; and invested in an iPhone 4S so I could participate in iMessage group chats with new friends.

(Above: The infamous 50-set cookies.)

Establishing myself as the “game night girl” and “’She’s the Man’ girl” —  and, I’ll admit, “Twilight” girl —  helped bridge the gap between me and my potential friends. We did lots of things together, so I hoped they wouldn’t think too much of it when I bailed on other plans.

Things were going well until, a few weeks in, I came face-to-face with a trigger that threatened to set off a panic attack.

On a particularly quiet weekend, my randomly paired roommate pestered me to go to the beach with her. Despite my protests — the secret reason being that I wasn’t familiar with the place we were going and I was afraid of long walks — and my barely concealed discomfort, she coerced me into going off campus, thinking I was just being lazy.

As we drove alongside the beach, I convinced myself that it wouldn’t be as bad as I thought: We’d sit on the sand, watch the waves and head back to campus. But soon we were passing bonfires blowing plumes of smoke, and my thoughts raced with ways to convince my roommate to change her plans. If we were to go down to the beach, the smoke would aggravate my asthma, I'd have an asthma attack and I'd have to call the paramedics (again) —  or so I told myself.

My roommate, excited to explore her new city, didn’t notice at first when I didn’t get out of her car. When she confusedly looked in through the window, I knew I was cornered. If I didn’t tell her my irrational fears, I wouldn’t get out of the plan.

With the faint smell of smoke triggering my fight-or-flight instincts, I got out and asked desperately if we could stay by the car as a compromise. But when she insisted that we go by the water to enjoy the beach, I couldn’t hold back anymore. As I cried in front of her for the first time, I admitted that I really didn’t want to be there and didn’t think my asthma would survive the bonfires by the beach.

I expected an awkward, confused apology and an equally awkward and confused silence as I cried on the short drive back to campus. But the woman who would, within a year, become my best friend instead surprised me with a sincere apology and a compromise.

That afternoon, she drove us less than a mile down to a park with an ocean view, and we spent an hour lying on the grass and watching airplanes take off right over us. I decided crying in front of my roommate crushed a barrier between us, so I shared my worries that people thought I was weird and unsociable. She admitted that she’d wondered why I was concerned with things like leaving for class 35 minutes early for a 15-minute walk or the fact that she kept our window open at night.

I was stunned that she’d noticed and wondered about my quirks that I thought had mostly flown under the radar. So I decided it was time to be more honest with my mental struggles; if I wanted a salve for my anxiety, establishing trust and friendship was a good start.

I told her that three years prior, I’d experienced a near-fatal exercise-induced asthma attack, and that prevented me from walking distances. Running or hiking were absolutely off limits. Though I had no experience with alcohol, its effects terrified me, whether it was me or someone else consuming it. Loud noises put me on edge. If I wasn’t the one to plan something, I couldn’t partake in the plans that (I thought) I had no control over.

My thoughts were irrational, but that's not what my roommate told me. Instead, she promised to be more aware that I had struggles that she never realized someone could have. “This can be our park now,” I remember her saying as we folded up our blankets to head back to campus. For the first time since moving to college, I was comforted with the knowledge that someone actually understood me.

(”Our” picnic park, pictured 1.5 years after the ~asthma incident~)

Our core friend group naturally grew to our circle of floormates, and our plans evolved from Banagrams on the hall floor and movie nights in my dorm room to hikes around the city, concerts and house parties. I expertly waved off parties with excuses of late shifts at the library and avoided hiking trips with my own on-campus plans. Though leaving campus made me anxious, my friends — who, through my roommate, vaguely understood that there were things I couldn’t do — still extended invitations on the off-chance that I’d join.

With the passing weeks, I grew self-conscious about my efforts to push my mental limits at my own pace. Surely, no one would want to be friends with someone who wasn’t “down” for everything.

(Above: A DIY wall quote that definitely helped me on those nights I spent alone in the dorm room. Plus, you know this pic was taken in 2012 by the horrific editing job.)

I picked and chose what I was comfortable doing, usually plans that didn’t involve walking distances, and somehow was able to socialize enough to maintain friendships. Sometimes we had to drive when we could walk, and sometimes I’d go quiet during our excursions to talk myself out of my anxious thoughts, but my new friends accepted that was how I was and encouraged me to push myself to go on more local adventures without knowing why some things could be so hard for me. And I started trusting them.

We didn’t get to that point with just dorm ice breakers and RA-organized events. When someone would ask what medication they saw me taking every night, I’d reveal I was on a low dose of an anti-depressant to stabilize my anxiety. If asked what my Friday plans were some weeks, I shared that I was seeing my therapist. I put a pause on my “fake it ‘til you make it” attitude to let my closest friends know that I was struggling with a mental illness.

And in return, my friends were open about their own struggles — with homesickness, with stress, with their own anxiety. We hadn’t known each other a year, yet we trusted each other during the biggest transitional period of our lives.

By my second year of college, I was able to embark on my first college road trip. With the help of my friends, I pushed my asthmatic self up the hills of San Francisco’s Chinatown and explored new places without the fear of not being in charge of planning.

For once, my excitement to be doing things that I considered normal for college students was louder than my anxiety.

(Those two hands belong to two women who remain some of my best friends.)

The rest of undergrad flew by as I kept surprising myself and my friends with the things I was able to push myself to do. And, even better, my best friends pointed out when I'd do things that my freshman self never would have considered. I started going to the beach for fun sophomore year, and I tried going to a house party junior year (I didn't last long). By senior year, I was going on short hikes and felt comfortable in bar and club environments.

I was only able to overcome these anxieties because of the difficult moments I faced in college, which I shared with my closest friends. At one point or another over four years, I had to ask each of them to talk me through an anxious episode or sit with me as I battled my own thoughts. But not once did they seem uncomfortable with such a request; later, they’d admit that those experiences helped them understand my condition. They were even happy to see the strong trust we’d built.

By the end of college, after trying to be as open as possible about how anxiety affected my daily life, I’d become a go-to support system for friends who found themselves struggling with mental health.

When a friend confided in me about her signs of depression, I tried to destigmatize and demystify seeking professional help by sharing my experiences from four years of therapy. During my junior year, I talked and comforted another friend through a panic attack —  and didn’t allow it to trigger my own. When my best friend shared that she was experiencing anxious feelings for the first time, we talked about what anxiety felt like and brainstormed calming methods.

A few years after I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, through medication, therapy, strong friendships and gradual confidence building, I was in a mental state where I was able to counsel the same friends who had supported me through my own battles. And it was in these moments of feeling like I was giving back to my ever-supportive group of friends that I felt happier and stronger than ever.

I’m proud to have not suffered a single panic attack during college. But I’m even prouder of the fact that, as I'm enjoying a life where I can travel and jog on a treadmill, I’m still surrounded by the same friends who would help me through whatever obstacle comes my way.