Tumgik
#i can barely hear myself think
Text
Tumblr media
38 notes · View notes
Text
I can’t believe I forgot to blog for like two weeks jesus christ I need to get back in the game well washington wasn’t anything special anyways i got to learn about history and all that but I already knew that stuff anyways in other news today is my trip to the youth fair its like a carnival apparently george and harold are quite excited i…still have mixed feelings
2 notes · View notes
captain-hen · 7 months
Text
oh this is just fantastic, the ganesha procession has started 🙄
1 note · View note
uncharismatic-fauna · 5 months
Text
Uncharismatic Fact of the Day
December is often highly anticipated (or dreaded) for its associated long list of Christmas Carols- but there's another holiday sound that those in Australia dread even more: the double drummer. The largest species of cicada in the country, Thopha saccata is also reportedly the loudest insect in the world. Its name comes from the large pockets that the adult male has on each side of its abdomen which he uses to amplify his mating calls. Even small groups of adults can produce a sound in excess of 120 decibels!
Tumblr media
(Image: A double drummer cicada () resting on someone's hand by Dave Britton)
If you like what I do, consider leaving a tip or buying me a kofi!
178 notes · View notes
felizusnavidad · 2 months
Text
so tired, so sleepy
12 notes · View notes
undead-potatoes · 4 months
Text
I must not join a fandom server. Fandom servers are the joy killers.
10 notes · View notes
mejomonster · 3 months
Text
I would like. To be in mutual love
#rant#yeah...#...........................................................................................................................................#look its like this. im chronically ill. i know its not totally up to me i cant go out 1-3 times a week trying ro meet ppl. i know i#cant even eat some days my tummy too upset. cant work some days cant even sit up. can barely keep up witj friends i already have#and i know the being drained wont get better. i might be this sick forever. and i know im prioritizing my own art over#meetjng strangers. thats a choice. i know its my own fault im lonely. i also just. i wanna build a relationship#that long term where u meet and become friends then best friends then fall in love and hey if ur lucky marry ur best friend#and i know that wont come from forcing myself on dates w ppl i dont like. i know no ones ever liked me before#i know i havent felt attraction in years anyway. i miss having a crush. but i suppose itd be sad anyway. to crush and not be liked back#to feel ill need to wait another 5 years for another rare crush. i dont believe in fate i dont think. so i might not ever#kiss someoje i like. i might not get lucky and hold a crushs hand. spend months or years with someone like that#i just. i hate so much romance isnt like skills. i cant just date 1x a week until i run into love#i cant even find 1 person a month to crush on let alone ask out. cause the feelings are luck too#luck of who u run into even if u go tl events. even wuen i had 10k tinder matches the only date#the only person who respjded. was someone with a gf who didnt have much in common with me and me not mucj w them and it#was just not enough click to even make a friend#god it makes me sad. id like to kiss someone special. hold their hand. hear em talk hours#i have friends and love em but i dont wanna kiss a friend. i just dont feel romancy very much.
6 notes · View notes
gay-edwardian · 3 months
Text
Why do the panic-inducing thoughts of death always come when one is trying to sleep? This isn’t helpful.
5 notes · View notes
aria0fgold · 3 months
Text
Out here just giving myself a headache by looping the same song in two different languages for several hours.
5 notes · View notes
daz4i · 10 months
Text
local man sets his lyrics to music (idk this is what morfix said the right english term is) at 5 am instead of sleeping. more at 11
8 notes · View notes
mumintroll · 11 months
Text
ik ive made this exact post one million billion times but it just makes me so sad thati was born with this horrible social anxiety like i really think im pretty and sweet and interesting and i cld have really good friends and an interesting love life if i didnt have this wall blocking me from everything
12 notes · View notes
catastrxblues · 4 months
Text
good morning it is now 4 am and i have just finished watching atonement good night
#atonement#next tags are just going to be personal rants ignore that#i couldn’t sleep at all so i tried reading s&b and then fanfics and then the bell jar but it just didn’t hit#so then i tried writing but i just kept crying so i thought i’d watch a romance movie because yes#should’ve gone for four weddings and a funeral or pride and prejudice because what the hell is this#i didn’t know anything about this movie i just remember having it on my watchlist and saw ONE clip so i picked that help#and yes i ended up crying and the tears are still here but i’m also starting to think that that’s not entirely because of the movie at all#i stripped my bed off its sheets because the bright color annoyed me and it was already peeling off anyway and i was too lazy to put it rig#and when i pulled back from the screen after the movie finished and just look at how bare my bed is and how i’m in the middle of them#i just started crying again#and my legs are aching and i hate myself and i think i want to take a shower but maybe i’ll wait later on#i don’t think i’ll sleep at all honestly i’m not sleepy anymore#besides i’m thinking of going outside today just at the park i don’t know doing something#i always sleep really really late lately because my parents are out of country right now and no one is keeping me checked and i apparently#still can’t take care of myself. cried about that too it was something. why am the eldest daughter i’m so not fit for it#and then i always wake up at like 9 am and it’s already too late by then that i just never do anything productive#and it’s like i’ve been living in a simulation and i’m kinda going crazy and insane but it’s okay because today is going to be better#i hope because i’m not getting any sleep and i can finally go outside at 7 in the morning instead when it’s already way too hot#damn this is supposed to be one of the best years of my life??????? fuck off#also i can hear the azan subuh from the mosque by the neighborhood and i miss praying honestly#it’s so funny because i was happy to get my period because that meant i wouldn’t have to wake up so very early on in the morning#but i miss it now#hopefully my period will end soon#nadirants
4 notes · View notes
psalmsofpsychosis · 6 months
Text
one thing about me is, i'll always always always value creativity and experimental ideas and stories and new structure-breaking narratives above established "commonly valued" creations, even if the creative idea's execution is less than ideal, even if the established story is "perfect and spotless". Like, i literally dont care, unconventional and paculiar and unexpected works of art are infinitely more valuable to me whether in subpar execution state or in perfect structure. If you did it differently and did it your way your creation will always be more important to me than any predictable and "proper" narrative made in complete and utter obedience of well reinforced explicit and implicit rules. "this is very well made in all the technicalities look at all these clean details—" catch me give a fuck. It's cliche, repetitive, it's boring, i dont care. We live in a time where obedience of known metrics seemingly ranks higher than any form of outside-the-box creativity and i'm done with it. Say something new, say something personal, say something earnest and paculiar and weird or i'm out of this theater.
#in semi continuous of the same notes; if you look up in the dictionary the definition of madness is me asking for feedback on my writing#from people who are knee deep in traditional structures and have not tried a single new imagery in their entire life#like babygirl they wont love you!!!! by definition they're looking at you from a place of dismay because you're going#against their ingrained value; you're undermining the predictable known forms they love so dearly!!!!#there's no way someone like that can offer any kind of coherent and geniune feedback on your work because –hear me out–#THEY DONT FUCKING VALUE WHAT YOU DO#like their baseline attitude is ''i couldn't care less if what you created didn't exist it's irrelevant to me'' THAT'S NOT A PERSON#WHO'S GONNA HELP YOU HONE YOUR CRAFT THEY DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR CRAFT#''i dont like poetry but–'' ''i dont write in this style but–'' ''i dont read these kinda stuff but–'' the conversation is over.#there's no buts. by the principle of being outside the framework you do not have the level of appreciation expertise and nuance it takes#to offer valuable and applicable feedback and your take may be fun but it's irrelevant ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#also another form of the barely disguised disdain is ''your creation will only be valuable if it's executed to utter perfection'' and no.#everyday i wake up and see mediocre people#celebrating utterly bland and boring mediocre writing like it's the last day of their fucking lives.#i'll not be held to standards of ''perfect performance'' just because you dont have the balls#to say that you dont enjoy and have no appreciation for creativity and experimental efforts#''it needs to be better'' is just a polite way of saying#''i dont love this but i feel bad about it so i'll trick you and myself into thinking i'll love it if it's done faultless''#there's no stage in which an effort in creativity will be faultless to you because the fault#to you#IS the creativity and deviation from the norms.#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#anyway good morning in this house we have absolutely zero value for bland cliche stereotypical generic things 🌸✨️#on art#on writing
4 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months
Text
...
#hmm its been an interesting week i suppose#very busy in a good way. but that is always how it starts. i make myself so busy and it feels good and then i wobble and fall out of my body#so im feeling wary. also bc ive been under sleeping more than ususal but im not really tired but im also not boiling out of my skin with#energy. i just feel ok. so thats good. but also a demon in the back of my head is always like: then stay up all night. lets see how far we#can push this. which is not good. and in fact ive been proscribed like basically emergency mood stablizers to knock me out if i start like#losing my mind and not sleeping lol. bc i dont wanna b getting ready for something big and like completely unavailable to control my#ability to think. and ive also been proscribed birth control to get a handke on my fucked up hormones. so we'll see if that makes things#less all over the place. hopefully it works bc im so busy i kinda dont have time to like freak thr fuck out#but i am a lil apprehensive bc like i can count on my hormones to make me feel things when a lot of the time i dont have much emotional#range. so its like fuck finally i can cry abt this. or like fuck this is so beautiful. but then i also cant function sometimes#so i guess i just gotta see what happens. sigh. also the typical frustrating in having to read so much. like ppl hear im dyslexic and r like#oh do u want accommodation? like literally wtf r u gonna do to help me as a grad student? it just takes an agonizing amount of time to#understand thing. i have my computer read to me and i suffer. theres literally nothing else to b done abt it. and fucking next week i have#to teach a fucking lab abt reading scientific papers. they have to read a paper in class. fuck off. those r the types of exercises that make#me feel so fucking stupid. like do this thing right now. read it right here and answer questions abt it. and i fucking read it and retain#fucking nothing. im fucking 26 and literally in my grant writing class i have to apologize to every person before i give them feedback like#lol sorry i can barely fucking read. i fucking cant understand language. its fine but it sucks. theres nothing to do abt it. it just makes#me mad i have to teach a class that would have made me cry as an undergrad. so ill prob hold their hands thru it more than the other TAs#will. bc fuck u im not making them read a whole fucking paper in class. fuck u#plus the frustration of not being able to express myself well in thr moments. like theres a delay in my brain so i feel so dumb when im#trying to convey myself off the top of my head. like give me time and ill write it all out for u i just cant actually process wtf ur saying#to me. also i probably spaced out for a sec so i missed part of the convo lol. frustrating but at this point its just how it is. it makes me#more empathetic when i have to teach i guess. like listen ive got all kinds of fucking learning probs i just wanna help u learn something#how can i help? fucking dyslexia. god. i dont wanna prep for class this weekend. ive gotta show up like yea i kno reading papers is hard at#first but it gets easier! fuck u. its worth the suffering if i enjoy to topic but its always suffering. but thats what i get for going into#academia. thr dr who proscribed me stuff was like well sounds like u have a stress trigger and ur a phd student where life is stress... u#gotta figure out whats gonna work for u. sometimes thats a career change. not in like a pushy way just like: if what u do makes u suffer#then wtf r u doing? and hes got a point. but in contrast to what i was doing this is a massive improvement#well see if its manageable. ugh. i just wanna draw#unrelated
3 notes · View notes
szczylpierdolony · 11 months
Text
regretting getting festival ticket. but i know i would also regret not getting it
3 notes · View notes
vvanessaives · 2 years
Text
smth i never talked about is how fenix and johnny literally despise each other like, nix can't even see or hear the man but he wants to kill him a second time and johnny looks at him, says a mean ass thing, vesper laughs at it and nix dramatically shouts "what the fuck did he say now"
9 notes · View notes