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syncopein3d · 4 months

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Left Alone Part 10: Silencers 2

Big weekend update, so I split it up!

Tropes/content warnings: M for mature themes overall. vampire whumpee/caretaker, male whumpee/caretaker, non-binary whumpee/caretaker, general morbidity, and in this chapter, mind control and death by vampire bite. The person who is killed is a woman, if that's something you need to know for trigger reasons, but it's in a fairly straighforward combat way.

There will be a lot of play with, and discussion of, the concept of consent in this series, as it applies to many topics. There will be angst. Vampire biting can be painful, platonic, or NSFW and I'm not sure what direction that will take, but Tolly will definitely continue to fantasize about subtextually or literally sex-murdering Arden, as vampires often do.

If you would like to be added to, or removed from, the tag list of this series, please let me know!

Part 9: Silencers 1

“So, no kids this time,” Liam said. He drove the electric Sprinter that night, because it was his turn to drive and Chase's turn to ride shotgun. Both of them were dressed in black tac gear, black Kevlar vests, helmets buckled on their heads decaled with the name of an armored car company. It was a different armored car company each time, matching the temporaries on the outside of the van. This time it was Merrywether Armored Transport. A green pine-shaped air freshener dangled prosaically from the rearview mirror. Armored cars were generally diesel, not electric, but diesels were noisy. The fully electric Mercedes Sprinter could glide up to a place in near-total silence.

Liam wasn't his real name. Chase wasn't his partner's real name, either, nor Madison and Michael in the back. None of the party of four Silencers knew the real names of any of the others. No one could be cursed except by the name they most believed to be their true one. As a consequence, they rotated sobriquets every few months. If you used a false name for too long, you might start to believe it was your true one. They rotated call signs, too.

“Naw,” Chase said. “No kids. The mark's 28, if that makes you feel any better.” He and Liam weren't that different-looking from one another: both brown-haired, brown-eyed guys in their mid-twenties, just under six feet tall, excellent physical shape. Both were veterans of overseas infantry operations. Both tended to look very closely at sudden noises.

Both had steel amulets under their black tee shirts to keep the voices out.

Liam knew that they had almost nothing in common besides this, that he was an FPS gamer in his off-time and Chase was more of a watch football and grill kind of guy, but to know that you'd have to get to know them both. And you didn't get to know people on the Silencer teams unless you were on one yourself.

“Don't use that tone, man,” Liam said. “You didn't like that, either. You know you didn't.”

“Course I didn't,” Chase said. He continued to look from front window to side window mirror and back almost mechanically, shifting to keep his sidearm from stabbing him in the hip. “But we got it done. That's all that matters. You can't hold onto that shit, or it'll eat you alive. Pray to the Crone for mercy, isn't that what you do?”

“The Mother,” Liam said. “The Crone has no mercy. I'm impressed you remembered that much, though. I didn't think you were listening, you being a Secular and all.”

Chase shrugged. He also had a scar running along his right cheekbone, and while he was steady as a rock, it turned pinker when he was excited. And he did get excited on mission in a way Liam didn't.

“I don't need a word for it,” Chase said. “You were raised Catholic, that's your real problem.” He glanced at Liam and away again, fingers shifting on the grip of the razored shortsword on his hip. The stalk of bamboo sat further back, recently cut to a sharp point and still alive. They didn't expect to need them today, but it was standard issue and they would never be without razored steel for Hunters and living wood for the Undead.

Madison was busy checking and rechecking the contents of her cleanup bag, rolling the bags tighter, making sure all the bottles of disinfectant were full. Her lips were pursed tightly when Liam spared a glance for the mirror. She had hands like a stevedore and she was built like a coat rack. Madison never said much, but from the way she handled firearms he was pretty sure she was some kind of vet, too. He knew she and her wife socialized with Chase sometimes, so maybe she was a Marine, like he was.

“I don't like it when there's kids,” said Michael from behind them. “And I'm Secular, too.” Michael sat on the opposite bench with his ankles crossed, arms folded. He was the only current member of Silencer Team NW-4 who was black now, because a corpse had gotten Jaden last month and a fifth hadn’t been assigned yet.

“Yeah, but were you raised Catholic?” Chase asked.

“Jehovah’s Witness.”

“I never knew that,” Liam said. “Are you still?”

“Nah. I have a different family now.”

“In silence,” Chase said, leaning forward with uplifted fist. Michael leaned in to smack the bones of his forearm across Chase’s in an X.

“In night,” said Michael.

“What about you, Mads? How you doing back there?” Liam asked.

“Fine,” Madison said. “It's going to be the same shit either way. It's a job needs doing. We do it.” Her icy tone thawed slightly as the pale grey eyes glanced up at him and back at what she was doing. “Pilot car who gave the okay said it's for sure just Arden Telep, remember. Immediate family are all mundane, and he’s still on witchbane, thinks he’s undiagnosed schizophrenic. The house is out in bumfuck nowhere. It'll be quick. Easy. So don't worry, Liam.”

“That name sounds familiar,” Liam said.

“Cause of Nicholas Telep,” Michael said. All three of them looked at him, Liam more briefly and in the mirror. “What? He was a big damn deal around here when I was a kid. Arden’s got to be some relation. Way I heard it, Nicholas Telep was Silenced. Maybe it was for fucking with the Hunters. That would explain,” he waved a hand. “This whole thing.”

“Above our pay grade,” Chase said.

Michael shrugged. “You're not wrong."

"There's the turn," Liam said, and took them down the narrow road, the headlights lighting up a traveling oval of the dense green walls of the evergreen forest. It was mostly pine out here, closer to the ground, clearcut sometime in the last fifty years and not yet replaced with the taller Douglas firs. You could get cut up like you'd run through a car wash full of nails if you tried to walk through these woods, between the sharp-needled pines and the wild blackberry vines that choked the roadside and the thickets. There were probably dynasties of rabbits out here that had been around since the pioneers.

After about a half-mile, the dirt drive opened up and became a paved driveway leading up to an elegant loop in front of the battered-looking house. There was a row of lamps along the drive, but most of them were out, leaving irregular patches of darkness and light. It didn't look like much, a rambling old pile with chipped blue paint, but he felt it when they crossed a certain threshold. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up, and his ears rang like he'd just come off an airplane. He hit the brakes immediately. Without the steel amulet he knew he’d be bleeding from every orifice in his head.

"Wards of Alarm," he said. "If he’s sensitive at all, he'll know we're coming."

"It won't matter," Chase said.

"It never does," said Liam.

Inside the house, Tolly reached for Arden’s shoulder. “Arden. What is it?”

Their eyes snapped to his. “I don’t know! It felt like – I can’t describe it. Like getting cold water thrown on you but like someone’s standing behind you, too!”

“I don’t underst - ”

Someone was opening the front door and the back door, not the one by the kitchen, but the one on the other side of the laundry. Tolly could hear the faintest clicks and clacks of the lock being tinkered with.

“Someone’s here,” he said. “Arden, go downstairs.”

“Tolly - ”

“Downstairs,” Tolly said in an urgent whisper, switching his grip to Arden’s upper arm. “Now, Arden. I’ll come and get you when it’s safe.”

He let go as Arden turned, and he heard running footsteps in the hallway, then the basement door closing more quietly than usual. The front door was open now, and he could hear a heart beating: high enough from the ground to be a very tall woman or a slightly tall man, steady, barely elevated. He was not nervous about what he was doing, or he’d done it many times, or both. Then the back door opened, too: shorter person, even less concerned than this one.

Tolly went that way first, pushing his sneakers off to make less sound on the hardwood floor of the downstairs. He glided into the shadow of the stairs, peering into the back hallway: whoever was back there had not yet left the laundry room. He slid into the doorway of what proved to be a large dining room and flattened himself against the wall. Scents wafted to his nostrils in the faint breeze from the laundry room door opening: Adult female, healthy, wearing some kind of dense artificial material with a strong smell. Boot rubber and leather. Gun oil. Metal. Fresh bamboo.

Bamboo was a frequent choice as a melee weapon against vampires, because it grew fast and stayed alive for hours after it was cut. That didn’t tell him whether it was a team of Witches or Hunters. The former might be able to throw fire at him; the latter might have senses approaching the keenness of his own.

Who would know he was here? He couldn’t imagine Nicholas would tell anyone, and Arden definitely hadn’t. Someone must have already been watching Arden on their trips to town. But that was speculation. He needed hard facts. And Arden wasn’t here to see anything he did…

As he was contemplating this, the barrel of some sort of long gun with a bulky silencing attachment glided past the open door beside him. Tolly grabbed and yanked, pulling her off balance and into the dining room. The woman in the black tactical gear had extremely good reflexes, but they were mortal reflexes. He dodged a blow that struck wood chips from the doorpost as he snatched her shoulder radio away and tossed it onto the long table behind him. She snapped a kick at his shin that could have shattered the bone. He slipped it easily as he slid behind her, yanked the bamboo from her belt, and tossed that, too. She couldn’t turn fast enough to follow him even in his current state, and then he snatched at the fastener of her helmet and flicked it away. He was ducking to set it on the floor so it wouldn’t clatter when the razor sword whistled over his head, long microseconds too late. Her shirt under her heavy vest had a high, stiff collar. It shredded like paper under his talons as he grabbed at it.

Scraping a bloody welt into her throat was not part of his plan. He needed someone to interrogate. But his talon scratched her as the collar came away, and then the scent of fresh blood hit his nostrils and the world went red. Black Tolly slammed her into the wall with the full weight of his body, hip turned against the attempt to knee him in the groin, and it was only accident that his hand found her wrist before she stabbed him. She dropped the weapon as bones cracked under his grip, hissing in anger as much as in pain.

He yanked her head to the side with his other hand, completely ignoring her repeated blows to his ribs, and sank his teeth in around the big artery in the side of her throat. His lips sealed against the skin just in time. Blood shot down his throat so fast it would have drowned him if he’d inhaled. Overwhelming ecstasy blotted out every conscious thought for what felt like forever, time pulling out like taffy until a second was an hour. He felt himself changing, felt his true strength returning, and he gloried in it.

He felt the soldier’s struggle weaken almost immediately, arms dropping as her weight sagged against him, and then only the pressure of his weight and the wall held her up. He held on even as the flow started to drop off, even as her heart gave out and her body stopped twitching. He did not regain even the slightest capacity for conscious thought until he could get nothing more. But finally, even suction could get him not one more drop, and he took his mouth away with a rough lick. Now that he was fully himself again, his saliva made the little wounds shrink and close. That would only work in a living victim or one very newly dead, so it was important to do it at once.

Witches and Hunters would know what an exsanguinated body with no visible marks meant, of course. But their organizations might not be the ones to find the body first, and secrecy must be maintained.

Tolly lowered the body quietly to the floor, trying to remember through the fog whether either of them had made enough noise to be heard from the front vestibule. He’d hit her against the wall hard. Whether through stoicism or an attempt to avoid alerting Arden, she had died without crying out. He heard footsteps, but they were investigating the kitchen right now.

“Mads?” whispered the radio on the table. Tolly rifled the body quickly and found the amulet around her neck. It was plain steel, in the shape of a crescent moon crossed with a longsword. Witches. She had not tried to use any kind of spell. Maybe she couldn’t use them in combat, and that was what had made her expendable to this sort of mission in the first place. He had no idea how any of it worked. Nicholas had not been stupid enough to give him details.

She had died too fast to suffer. Still, he had learned almost nothing. Black Tolly pocketed the amulet and turned to stalk back out into the hallway, toward the sound of shod feet on the kitchen tiles.

Part 11: Silencers 3

@fleur-a-whump, @bitchaknso, @valravnthefrenchie, @thewhumpcaretaker

#whump #whumpblr #syncopein3d future reference #vampire whumpee #vampire whumper #female whumpee #tw death #tw brief violence #death #Black Tolly #Arden #Trifold Balance Universe

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wildissylupus · 1 year

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Idk if anyone has asked or not. Or if you even want to answer this question. Which fair enough if you dont. But:

Whats you opinion on Illari's lore? On that more darker side of Overwatch lore? Personally is something I would love to see more of. Not a complete torture fest but right in the middle (mostly because it would then amplify the good moments and the victories i believe). But considering how well (this is sarcasm) they handled Code of Violence - which is at the very best, just edgy, and thats from someone who likes reaper/gabriel reyes as a character - i dont know how well that would go. But anyways. Your opinions.

Illari's lore is very smartly written in my opinion, though I do wish they would bring in more pre-established characters. Illari's story is written in a way that though she is isolated, she is still a character you can see playing a part in the story, not only that but the similarities drawn between her and Mei gives for an interesting character arc for both of them. I am enjoying that the writers are going further into what other places around the world are doing and I can't be all that mad because I big part of Overwatch character creation is giving representation the places that don't often get recognised, it's why Baptiste is from Haiti. Anyway, writing wise I do still think they should have introduced a pre established character but I'm not complaining since Illari is an interesting character to look at.

As for the darker side of Overwatch I do think it's something that the writers are touching on. Though we haven't seen much of it in the Story Missions since it's only in the set up part of the story. It's important to note that Code of Violence, though terribly written, does bring up a lot of interesting points, like how Talon is very individualistic compared to Overwatch. Not only that but Code of Violence is literally the only time I can think of when the darker aspects of Overwatch's universe was explored in a bad way (I blame it on the author being a marvel comics writer, I like marvel but I do believe the tones of both universes are very different), in Alive, the first time we see the darker side of OW, we see it illustrated beautifully. In Ramattra's short story we see that Omnic trafficing is a thing that happens in the OW universe, with characters like Cassidy and Sombra we see how society failed to care for the youth after the omnic crisis.

The writing team is one of the better parts of Overwatch, we see how much care and passion goes into the story they are trying to create and it's telling to me that the author of Code of Violence only has one Overwatch credit to his name, hell I'm pretty sure he worked on other Blizzard titles more than he did with Overwatch. Overwatch has a darker story to tell and you can see that with just the concept of Ramattra hunting Omnics down with subjugators and stripping them of their free will.

Honestly when I first saw that I was scared shitless, it went from and fps game to a horror game really quickly for me-

#overwatch #overwatch 2 #overwatch lore #overwatch headcanons #analysis

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bandofchimeras · 10 months

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one nice bpd thing is when you've been thru the idealization and devaluation swing with a new FP and held awareness w yourself and....cooled off? without doing anything nutso like declaring undying Love or trying to banish them from your life.

then you get to hang out with them. and see how they actually are as a person outside your Brain Games. and they're just, cute or nice, or kinda dorky and flawed in some charming way. and it's like OOOOOHHH the idea I had of you in my head is no match, good or bad, for the reality of your humanness in the room with me.

(long post under the read more)

in earlier stages of recovery this settling into equilibrium always gave me the ick. bc my shame was so intense for my own humanness. being human is so stinky and sticky and crusty and mundane and broken sometimes. no wonder our minds make people into gods or demons when sitting with our very vulnerable human selves is so difficult. especially if you have never fully experienced unconditionally accepting love. ideas taste better than reality.

I begin to think that my BPD is rooted in a real fear and real experiences of being abandoned for being imperfect, or not fitting someone's preconceived expectations, or disappointing them in some way. it was hard to accept this bc I have done it to people too. and it is so painful.

but now the next step is finding a new framework for how to say "no" and have boundaries and prioritize people. BESIDES "oh you aren't what I thought you were."

which is a challenge specifically along the ADHD axis of low impulse control, memory issues and generally not understanding how much work is involved in tasks or relationships.... leading to either avoidance of them, or taking on too many.

this is a genuine disability that leads to poor energy management that impacts people I my life. and if people can love me, and they do, then what's between love and us is real barriers of communication and follow through, that can hopefully be addressed.

I really can't keep going through the swing of impulsive relationships that end with abandonment or never end in a tortured half alive state of limbo. it feels impossible to fully let go of anybody or be fully with anybody and that's where the pain comes from.

I think the image instability is related to ADHD object impermanence. I have to practice manually making my brain remember people exist when we aren't in same room, or I am not hyperfixated on them. if someone isn't in the Focus Zone I can still love them but they don't get attention. which....hmm maybe I conflate with love. because of that being such a big need for me.

i wonder if anyone without this disorder overthinks their relationships to this extent, and if they don't how they manage their energy to avoid so many painful patterns???

i do wish relationships took up less space in my life too and I had more ability to lean into hobby time. The unresolved emotions & cycles around interpersonal relationships feel like big heavy magnets that take my energy away from efforts in areas that would be more meaningful. They keep me looping around in specific thought patterns and stories unable to stay in physical reality long enough to complete anything.

I wonder what genuinely falling in love would be like with a person. instead of intense attachment feelings, developing a fondness and sense of compatibility with someone over time as you also become able to trust them. They would have to really love me and have a lot of patience to stick out these mood swings and thought distortions.

But hey that has to be possible because I am a person, and I am developing the patience to love myself!

What still hurts is the question: is there someone out there who will see me and go, he's worth it!. He's worth the trouble! Someone who I also felt love for, that would chose me not based on an idea of who I am but my actual reality. So I don't have to play a role or an image for them.

it's a painful question. but I have to believe maybe it's possible, and even if not, along the way there is plenty of love from animals and trees and community, and friends that will recognize my inherent worth as I learn to.

the borderline asks to be chosen, to be special. Without qualification. But the beauty of love is that everyone always has a choice to love. It's never permanent or guaranteed.

now, how to make peace with that!!!?

this has been a post on the intersection of ADHD, OCD and BPD from my experience.

#recovery #bpd #ocd #musings #adhd #whew #long post

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nathank77 · 5 months

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4/15/24

2:17 a.m Edited/Added to 2:56 a.m

I really have to get a HDCP bypasser so I can at least enjoy playing silent hill. I really want to record it.

It motivates me to play... and I hallucinate less bc I'm talking to a camera pretending a viewer is currently watching...

Every HDCP bypasser I buy doesn't bypass HDCP and I have to return it.

I have to wait until the end of the month. Considering glasses, CBD, Kohls bc I want more than 6 pairs of socks and 12 pairs of boxers, those shoes that stole my heart and a HDCP splitter so my passion for gaming doesn't completely die...

All my campaign FPS are so methodical and the same thing over and over again... and my ocd and then the hallucination ruins everything.... what little joy I would get if my ocd isn't active gets ruined by the hallucination...

And I can't do bo4 other than for two events at this point. Hardcore Barebones Moshpit and Hardcore Nuketown. Regular TDM hardcore is all the same people and there are virtually no lobbies and my internet sucks so i just can't compete... and worse part is if I could do well in bo4 my passion would be entirely restored I'd play constantly.... but barebones moshpit is another 4 weeks from now for approximately 1 week and then it's another 4 weeks later before Nuketown for 1 week and then it's another 10 weeks before barebones moshpit....

I wish I didn't always have to worry about money to the point that I can't buy the stuff I need. A hdcp bypasser is 20$ and I would go ham playing silent hill and recording it. Otherwise it's not worth the hallucination as if I am recoding I pretend I'm talking to a viewer... it makes me hallucinate less...

I hate that glasses might as well be like a buying something for, "fun," thing. When they are like food or water.

I hate that I can't just swipe my card on glasses, on kohls and on those shoes, spend 20$ on a hdcp bypasser and just buy the cbd and not be like wait until the end of the month and see whats left so we aren't frivolous.

Not all of them are needs.. but yea. The needs are expensive. So expensive I can't buy anything else. And cbd is a need to help with my trauma... glasses really shouldn't be so fucking expensive. I need more socks. I need more boxers. I don't need shoes but I really fucking want them and I kinda do need more than 2 pairs of shoes without holes in them..

A hdcp bypasser would really help restore my passion in gaming but it isn't a need...

I hope I can make my disability appt and get that back pay. I'll still do the control arms and the sealant on my teeth but I'll have money left over for glasses.

I'll also have food stamps and the same insurance I believe I'm under the minimum still. I got to make that appt but thinking about it just stresses me out bc of my circadian rhythm and their inability to give me a later appt than 1:30...... making it a chronic issue that may be unsolvable bc I mean I may only get 3 hours of sleep and then I'll hallucinate way more bc of a lack of sleep and it makes being alive intolerable.

Everyday towards the end of the night the last say 8 hours I get so exhausted from hallucinating it makes me just want to quit. When i don't get 7 hours of sleep it just makes the whole day feel like that last 7 hours.

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nanyoky · 7 years

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HAD ONE ON AN EMPTY STOMACH AND NOW TIME FOR THE BIG SHOW

OH god it’s a CHRISTMAS EPISODE. our core four pairs have broken up, fp is about to die and it’s a CHRISTMAS EPISODE

mary booked a singles cruise so i guess they couldn’t get molly ringwald for more eps this season

yay my girl polly’s back for a presumably horrifying dream sequence

That Kubrick-esque centered shot of Hood!santa climbing over the couch back????? *kisses fingers like cartoon italian chef*

Cheryl still EXPECTS her mother to put out jason’s stocking and demands to know what such a tiny candycane is doing in their home because she is still GRIEVING but still SO MUCH . this is what the death of a twin looks like take fuckin note marvel

Also nana rose didn’t die in the fire? so that’s nice.

“86,000″ “what- dollars?” like the hospital in smalltown usa might charge people in pesos or forint- godbless you archie

“Kevin’s secret santa has a 20$ limit” “Kevin needs to chill” no, v, YOU need to chill. or rather don’t. because we love you so much.

“Havent you heard? we’re still friends!” “oh yeah. isnl’t everyone?” i love these girls almost as much as the lund and byerly’s checkout lady who never judges my wednesday night sale sushi runs

fp looks so thin without his jacket and warm vestiges i’m worried about him is he taking his vitamins eating his spinach if he has been surviving on hot pockets and beer since he got out i will be so cross with him

“BOY.” i’m DISTRAUGHT. fp and jughead are living together again and we’re finally getting to see what that looks like and it’s exactly as heartbreaking as we knew it would be

also fp wears his wallet with a stylish chain that goes from his pocket to his beltloop because it’s apparently 2008 in that trailer

“Couples massage.... thanks” “You can go with betty!” audience: YES PLEASE.

also who the fuck would do a couples massage with their highschool boyfriend- veronica lodge that’s who, but who ELSE.

archie didn’t spend any money on his gift and it is obviously the ebst one int he exchange and we love him

MOOSE AND MIDGE ARE HERE TO MAKE THINGS WEIRD FOR KEVIN (HOPEFULLY)

REGGIE *SPRINTS* TO HUG MOOSE AND THE SHIP I DIDN’T KNOW I NEEDED EMERGES

oh dear. mr. svenson. of course i love that betty and co. know the janitor at their school’s name. is that normal? i went to an enormous highschool- i barely knew my teacher’s names half the time. but i imagine it’s very sweet and very betty of her.

oh god jughead came to riverdale high for the gift exchange because he’s a good dude. a good dude.

his little SMILE when he feels how heavy it is is the most boyish he’s looked since the scene where we find out fp is his dad in the drive in episode and I’M NOT OKAY

veronica giving archie an expensive engraved watch is CLASS COMMENTARY and it is very good of archie to try to explain that to her calmly and without accusation or bitterness i don’t know if i would handle it that well cuz fun fact i once accused a guy of making me into Pygmalion because he tried to take me to a restaurant with multiple spoons

jughead wants to help but now sweetpea has replaced joaquin as the unreasonably beautiful surrogate son fp feels more comfortable putting in danger than his own kid help

what is the point of showing cheryl is interested in buying a tree? other than maybe she’s going to spend more than her mom can afford now??? or that she’s back at archie now that josie is weirded out by her possessive obsessive tendencies? not sure what the point of that was

nice reverse zoom/dolly into a dutch angle on this modest janitor house

the parole officer calls him “jughead” that is all

hermione and hiram being deliberately flirty in front of veronica after she and hermione had that talk about loving one’s partner

“Since when are you a communist *deliberate eyeroll at hiram*” i still can’t tell whether season 1!hermione or season 2!hermione is the act and i’m still RIVETED

okay it was to show she’s just spending a bunch of money to piss off penelope who coincidentally, is wearing a WINNER of an outfit rn damn son i have that but like- not as good cuz my black lace sheath is from target

not to take credit away from cheryl’s high quality cherry sweater

“you should have drowned them at birth like a basket of kittens” NANA ROSE. NANA FUCKIN ROSE. COMIN IN HOT FOR THE HOLIDAYS.

i honestly don’t know if it’s ever stated if nana rose is penelope’s mom or clifford’s but judging purely on penelope’s eyeroll and non-verbal expression of “UGG. MOTHERRRRR” i’mma say her’s.

betty pulls her sweater over her hands when approaching her mother because how often did alice tug roughly at young!betty’s clothes to make sure she was PICTURE PERFECT at all times

we all knew that it was going to be a finger right we all knew

and of course she only tells archie because this is betty cooper we’re talking about

“would the sisters talk to us?” “pft- they better” betty’s gunna beat up a nun

also my first assumption is that the janitor’s sin is pointing out the wrong guy to the lynch mob??? could be wrong but it seems kinda odd that archie isn’t bringing up that part of the story

the lodges have the same “christmas classics” cd as my mom because of course they do

the fact that veronica finds the deed to pop’s and doesn’t react in shock or anger but sits back in her dad’s leather office chair and crosses her legs to think things over is CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

jughead knows fp too well to apologize for thinking badly of him and the duffles and IT HURTS SO GOOD

“maybe this isn’t gunna work- us living together” FP ISN’T A DAD HE’S A BIG BROTHER AND I KEEP SAYING IT BUT IT KEEPS HURTING EVERY TIME IT’S PROVEN TRUE

oh god jughead is calling on the next gen serpents for help this isn’t going to end well, son

“take out penny” take out? TAKE OUT???? TAKE OUT?!?!?! JUGGIE. take a nap.

sweet pea and fangs are either the bestest of bros or engaged to be wedded i can’t decipher their eye communication exactly

the serpents are FACTIONING and this CANNOT end well

“it was a group of men... and one woman” FOUNDING FAMILIES FOUNDING FAMILIES FOUNDING FAMILIES

next gen serpents are going to fuck everything up and i can’t take jughead trying to do an intimidating under the brows stare seriously

we all think that nun is the drug dealer lady in the wheelchair right?

“white with a cherry red stripe” THAT’S MY GIRL. THAT’S MY NANA ROSE. BACK WITH PLOT AND BACKSTORY. BATTING FOR THE TEAM. NANA ROSE BLOSSOM.

“the truth” THE LODGE TRUTH. HOOO BOY. *pours another drink*

OH MY GOD IS HE CUTTING IT OFF JUGHEAD. JUGHEAD. BETTY HAS BEEN A BAD INFLUENCE ON YOU.

i just pictured fp’s face if he saw this and did the most ridiculous puppy whine

“oh noooo. no girls allowed” NANA ROSE BLOSSOM. MY MAIN GIRL.

founding families. what did i say.

hefty sigh at barchie kiss. like- i’d be more into this if they actually built it and didn’t keep breaking up and putting everyone back together back and forth

oh cheryl saw- THAT i’m interested in

they’re not going to tell us the lodge truth because they’re bastards

penny didn’t show up for your pickup, did she?” “no.... no she didn’t.” JUGHEAD IS THE PARENT AND FP IS THE KID AND IT IS HORRIBLE AND PERVERSE AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH

“this life you tried to protect me from? i’m proud of it!” *WHALE NOISES* FP’S FACE. FP’S *FACE*. THIS IS THE LOOSE HENRIAD CRIME FAMILY AU I’VE BEEN HURTING FOR.

oh god there’s one black guy in the picture please don’t tell me our sweet angel pop was involved in this how old is pop he’s not old enough right tell me he had no part in this

*DISTRESS SCREEEEE*

UNMASK HIM BETTY UNMASK HIM ARCHIE IS FINE HE’S A BIG STRONG BOY WHO CAN TAKE A LITTLE DIRT IN HIS FACE

oh god oh god oh god did sheriff keller shoot bh so he can’t talk oh god oh god oh god

this is too easy and we all know it i’m still pulling my multiple killers theory and i haven’t given up on shady!keller yet

weird sound editing trying to give studio quality to josie and kevin just jammin acapella outside a diner

WHO THE FUCK IS PENELOPE SNOGGIN ON XMAS MORN?!?!?!

YASSS JUGHEAD GETS HER A SIGNED FIRST EDITION OF BELOVED WHICH I HAVE BASICALLY BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE BETTY SAID SHE LOVES TONI MORRISON IN EPISODE ONE. well- not exactly this. but that IS one of my alltime favorite books and a huge influence on my own gothic writing so to see it referenced on this show is just GRAND

we all know it’s not over juggie, we all know.

Episode Scorecard:

Number of sick beat drop rhythmic editing moments: none

Episode hair MVP: Nana rose’s stripe was featured as a plot point and is always of the highest quality

Do I still miss Joaquin: yes

Episode outfit MVP: Penelope’s black lace sheath

Cast/Crew shoutout: There were some really solid cinematography moments, but I would have liked to see better editing? pacing was a bit rough.

#Riverdale spoilers #riverdale season 2 #nell liveblogs #nell drinks #unsubtle highschool suburban gothic of my dreams #i can't believe fp is still alive?#a whole episode after quoting the most famous eulogy poem in the english language???#i'm in shock honestly

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