#i can't listen to it much anymore because the noise gives me a headache

[willgaham]

i was tagged by @gayfail, thanks love <333

name: vic (vici or vica (or any other nickname tbh, i love nicknames) is fine too tho!!)

pronouns: she/her

where do you call home: as in, where do i live? if so, germany, but i've never felt home anywhere lol

favourite animals: cats, sea otters, other smallish predators and owls (i could've basically copied & pasted your list damien agshdhjs)

cereal of choice: uhhh idk, i hardly ever eat cereals but every once in a while i crave nougat pillows because i loved those as a kid sooooooo much

are you a visual, auditory or kinesthetic learner: definitely preferably (and most quickly) kinesthetic, but visual is usually fine too. what NEVER works though is solely auditory, my brain can't hold that information for shit

first pet: a white persian cat named sissi (who was gifted to me by my aunt when i was a little baby), but i hardly remember anything about her

favourite scent: anything citrusy, rain, fire and so much more but i can't stand overly sweet or intense smells (like vanilla perfume), they give me headaches :/

do you believe in astrology: not really, no

how many playlists do you have: okay so i make a new playlist for every new month (i just put all the songs i listen to that month in there) and i've had spotify for a while now so... if i count all those i have over 50 playlists BUT if i don't count the monthly ones it's only like 14

sharpies or highlighters: highlighters, i LOVE highlighting stuff

songs that make you cry: dead sea by the lumineers, crashing by ryan pulford (and tons of others, i cry really easily when listening to music with lyrics that i resonate with tbh)

songs that make you happy: to noise making by hozier (!!!), sing by my chemical romance (!!!!!!)

do you write/draw/create: i'm a writer at heart but i haven't written in years because i somehow just can't anymore... i sure miss it though :)

no pressure tags: @michaelsheens @antiquesroadkill @theroysiblings @distortedlightbeam @burnhamandtilly @igbeh and whoever else sees this and wants to do this!!

[kazewhara]

keep talking. (2)

part one here.

# — pairing: kazuha x gn!reader

# — characters: gender neutral reader, kazuha, other genshin characters mentioned in passing

# — summary: you don't have to hear him through a phone anymore.

# — warnings: n/a

# — tags: fluff galore with a touch of angst. that's literally it.

# — notes: @chichikoi i gave myself cavities because of you LMAO. as always, reblogs and reactions are greatly appreciated, and i hope you enjoy!

wanna join the tag list?

✧ — 🍁 — ✧

a week, kazuha said. only one more week and then he'd be home. but a week comes and goes, and he's still not home.

"there's--" kazuha's sentence is halted by the boom of thunder overhead. you hear him inhale sharply. "i'm so sorry, my love. i know i promised i'd be home, but a terrible storm blew in; the forecast says it will be here for at least another week, and--"

you interrupt him with a soft noise. "kazuha, you can't control the weather." you can hear the apology in his voice. he's probably beating himself up for not being able to keep his promise to you. "you're safe, aren't you?"

kazuha sighs softly. "yes, but... i was really looking forward to coming home today." you can almost feel the dejection through the phone. it makes tears sting your eyes. "i miss you so much, love."

"i miss you too. so much." your voice trembles. you swallow back the lump that suddenly forms in your throat. "but your safety comes first. you better come home to me in one piece, you hear me?"

you're really glad you can't see his face right now. he chuckles, and you hear some shifting and another pop of thunder in the background. "i hear you loud and clear." there was a brief silence before he says: "i wish you were beside me."

you curse silently. he isn't making this any easier for you. you know how he gets when thunderstorms hit; his hearing is too sensitive and it gives him headaches. whenever it gets bad, kazuha would press his ear on your chest and you would cover the other with your hand, allowing him to focus on your heartbeat. the steady beating would sometimes lull him to sleep.

you laugh wetly into the receiver. "that's not fair. you're gonna make me cry at this rate."

"that's not my intention at all." kazuha sounds frantic for a split second, troubled by the thought of you shedding tears for him again. "i'm sorry; will you forgive me? don't cry, dove." he sounds so wounded. "anything but that."

you swipe a few tears away from your eyes and take a steadying breath. it's a good thing he can't see you. "i won't, kazu'," you reassure him. you're sure he can hear the thinness of your voice, but he doesn't comment on it. you two stay quiet for a little while, leaving you to listen to the way the rain beats against the window over the phone.

thunder crashes again. it's so loud that it makes you wince. "kazuha, are you--"

"petal," he says at the same time, "would you please talk to me for a little while longer? please," he almost begs you, "it's... a bit loud here."

'a bit', he says. your heart wrenches; you want nothing more than to cover his ears for him, to completely take his mind off of the storm. but with so much distance between you, you know that's not going to be possible. you absolutely hate it, but the best you can do for him now is talk until he's satisfied -- or at least until the weather calms down enough.

you make yourself a little more comfortable. "want me to tell you about my week, then?"

kazuha's reply is immediate. "please." then, "can i see you?"

you have half a mind to say no in fear of the tears that have yet to go away, but you think twice. your desire to see his face outweighs everything else. you agree and prop your phone up on a pillow across from you as you wait for his camera to turn on.

when it does, you see that kazuha's in a similar position as you: he's lying on his hotel bed with an arm tucked underneath his head. his scarlet eyes gleam in the lamplight, and a quiet smile overtakes his face. "hi." his smile only grows further.

you giggle. "hey."

again, there's a comfortable silence between you. with the way you two are positioned, you would think he's lying across from you. you wish you could reach out and touch his hair, but if you did that right now, all you'd feel is your phone screen. something dims in kazuha's expression and you wonder if he's thinking the same thing you are.

lightning suddenly flashes on his end and the entire screen goes white for half a second. when you see kazuha's face again, he's frowning with his eyes closed. almost immediately after, there's a loud crash of thunder; somehow it seems louder than before. kazuha doesn't speak right away. he presses his lips together and you try to think of something to say.

"the kittens near the convenience store," he finally says. your eyebrows twitch up when you understand what he's talking about. "how are they? did their mother return?"

you shake your head. "no, unfortunately." this wasn't how you wanted the conversation to start, but now that it's started, it's easy for you to come up with some more things. "xiao and i had to take them to the shelter where he kept one."

kazuha cracks an eye open. "it wasn't the cream-colored one, was it?"

you snort. you know how much kazuha loved that one. "no, he didn't. he took the fluffy black one. he named it heise. oh, and that reminds me, yoimiya stopped by for looking for you the other day..."

once you've got the ball rolling, you chatter away, telling kazuha what's been going on in the week leading up to his delayed arrival date. he nods along and chimes in every once in a while, and slowly, you start to notice him reacting less and less to the storm raging outside. eventually, you see him cover up a yawn with his hand.

"i'm sorry," he apologizes again. "i don't mean to seem disinterested. please keep going."

you tease him a little bit. "i can't believe my own boyfriend thinks i'm boring."

kazuha must be too tired to play along, because he actually looks a little disheartened by your words. "that's not it, love, i promise."

"kazuha, i know." you hush him. "it's okay if you're tired. do you want me to hang up?"

"no." he doesn't waste a second. "your voice is... almost like a lullaby to me. keep talking, please. where were you, anyhow?" he muffles another yawn. "you were saying something about klee making you and the others play hide-and-seek?"

even when drowsy, kazuha was still paying attention. your face warms when he calls your voice a lullaby. you continue for his sake. "it was one hell of an afternoon, really..." you start.

not long after that, kazuha's breathing evens out on the other side, his shoulders rising and falling steadily as he sleeps. the storm hasn't gotten any quieter outside, but he's resting peacefully, not a twitch or wince to be seen.

your little routine of talking until kazuha falls asleep continues for the entire time the storm torments the town kazuha's in. when he wakes up one morning with the news that it's finally safe to return, you nearly fall over yourself with excitement. thanks to how far away he was, his flight was over 18 hours long, meaning that he wasn't going to be in until some ungodly hour of the morning, but you don't care. come hell or high water, you were going to be there.

and so you find yourself dozing off on some chairs at the gate at 2:30 am, waiting for kazuha's flight to come in. you haven't heard from him since he boarded sometime yesterday, making this the longest you've gone without speaking to him since he left.

you wonder for a moment if you're too excited. you've been at the airport for a little over three hours now; you timed the flight wrong and were too lazy to turn back. you were up for hours preparing for this day. you even wore one of kazuha's favorite sweaters (which he was kind enough to leave behind) just to surprise him, but unfortunately, that meant you were on the brink of falling asleep.

you pull out your phone and glance at the time. "it wouldn't hurt to take a short nap, would it?" you yawn aloud to yourself. you pull up the hood over your head and tug on the drawstrings, sinking down in your seat to make yourself more comfortable. you had about 30 more minutes before the plane landed; you'd be up by then. you look at the door at the gate and crack a small smile. in thirty minutes, kazuha was going to be home. you feel giddy, like a child anticipating a field trip. sleeping would definitely make time go faster. your eyes slip closed and you finally doze off, your head resting on your own shoulder.

the first thing you realize when you wake up is that you are most definitely not in the same position you fell asleep in.

your head is resting on something warm. you mistake it for the cushioning of the nearby chairs for a moment, but as soon as you realize that you're laying on someone's legs, you shoot upright, too mortified to acknowledge the sudden vertigo. you throw the hood off your head and immediately start spewing apologies one after another.

"i am so sorry," you bow your head, too ashamed to look the stranger in the eyes, "i was so sure i was alone here and i must have moved when i fell asleep, i--" you're interrupted by the sound of a quiet snicker. your cheeks flush and you hazard a glance at the sorry soul you forced to watch you nap.

looking back at you is not a stranger, but kazuha, his kind scarlet eyes glinting with mirth. evidently, he's trying very hard not to laugh. when you gape at him, your mouth suddenly dry, he taps the underside of your chin twice, making you aware that you'd stopped speaking mid-sentence. you close your mouth with a silent click.

neither of you say a word as you try your best to process the fact that you're seeing kazuha. you were laying on his lap and he just touched your face. there's no mistaking that he's real and that he's finally in front of you, but a part of you is struggling to comprehend it. kazuha looks more than amused by your mental battle -- it must show on your face. how comical you must look to him right now. kazuha takes the initiative when he realizes that you're too stunned for words.

"hello, my star." his voice is like honey coating your ears. "i'm home."

he's home. kazuha's really, really home.

you all but throw yourself at him, hugging him as tightly as you can and burying your face in his shoulder. he grunts softly with the force but hugs you all the same, squeezing you just as tight -- if not tighter -- than you are squeezing him. kazuha ducks his head and burrows his face into the fabric of your (his) hoodie and takes a slow, shaky breath. the two of you drink each other in, hoping to make up for almost two months and few extra weeks of lost time. he smells the same as he always has, like sandalwood and cedar. you inhale as deeply as you can in as you try to drown in all that is kazuha. neither of you move for what feels like an eternity, and then he speaks again, his voice muffled by your clothes.

"you've been using my shampoo, haven't you?"

you bark out a laugh and squirm in an attempt to push him away, but he doesn't move an inch. not that you mind. "i-is that so wrong of me?" you ask. your voice holds none of the bite you hoped it would. you're pretty sure you're crying, but you can't really tell with your face pressed into his shirt like this. "you were gone for so long."

kazuha's answering laugh is low and content. you can feel it and it nearly makes your heart stop. "i know." he says. "but i'm home now." you didn't think it possible, but his arms tighten around you some more. "i'm home."

you feel like the air is being squeezed out of your lungs. not because kazuha is threatening to pop you like a balloon, but because you have to see his face again. something desperate claws at you -- the need to see him properly is so strong that you make a small noise. thinking that he's done something wrong, kazuha releases you, but his hands don't leave your waist. they rest on your hips as he searches your eyes for any sign of distress.

you can practically hear his thoughts. it's a lot less worrying than it usually is -- you would've given anything to be able to read him with just a look for the past two months since it's been difficult with the distance. you rest your hands on his face and swipe your thumbs over his cheeks.

kazuha's eyes widen for a split second and then soften when it dawns on him that nothing is wrong. he brings a hand up to hold your wrist and turns his head to kiss your palm. you shiver and he laughs softly.

"i've missed your voice all this time." he says, a slight lilt in his tone. "will you say something for me, songbird? preferably not an apology this time."

your face burns hot at the new nickname. any and all confidence you may have had suddenly leaves you. "you should have just woken me up." you bite back.

kazuha kisses your hand again. "you looked so peaceful," he reasons, "i couldn't bring myself to do so and startle you with my own excitement."

"i wouldn't have been mad at you. i could never be mad at you." you feel the lump in your throat return when you finally register the warmth in your hands. you're holding kazuha and he is holding you; this is all you've wanted for two months. you feel like laughing at yourself -- someone would think he was gone for two years with how relieved you feel now that he's back. "besides," you breathe, "i dunno what else to say besides i missed you."

kazuha, the cheeky bastard, hums. "i believe i could think of a few places you could start."

you raise a brow at him. "oh really? and where might that be?"

your lover kisses the inside of your wrist, relishing in the way you shiver for him. "i personally love it when you welcome me back after long trips." he chuckles when you fluster; you didn't realize you hadn't said it yet. "there's no rush, of course, but i--"

"welcome home, kazuha." saying those words make you feel like a shaken bottle finally freed of all the pressure that had been built up. your insides unwind and you feel like you can breathe easier.

even though he asked for you to say it, kazuha looks delightfully taken aback. "one more time, songbird. please."

you indulge him. "welcome home."

kazuha leans in close and lightly bumps his nose against yours. he's a breath away -- you can count every one of his platinum lashes from this close. you sigh, contented, and he pushes face slightly closer, his lips brushing your own. "i love you." he whispers. every time he says those words, he says it like a prayer, his tongue cradling each word so gently, like they were fragile things. "i love you, petal. you'll never understand how badly i wanted to say that to your face again."

you almost don't reply. you feel like no amount of 'i love you's will ever capture what you feel for kazuha. your reply comes in the form of a kiss, one kazuha returns with as much love as you pour into it. you drink in the sound he makes greedily. only when you pull away do you feel the words come to you.

"i love you, too." your words are a prayer of your own, one kazuha accepts with fervor.

just outside the window, the sun begins to rise. day breaks, and kazuha is in your arms again; late, but present.

✧ i need a breather tbh. this was so wholesome, i think my brain is going to melt. my heart skipped so many beats while i was writing this -- i don't think i should be alive rn actually.

[strangerquinns]

Matt Murdock x female reader with these prompts. You can make it up, make sure to have lots of angst, *a sprinkle of fluff*.

Matt Murdock x Reader | theme: angst, sorry I'm in a mood and forgot the fluff.

"I tried to give up, once before, but the universe just didn't let me." You spoke, dropping your head into your hands as tears streamed down your cheeks. Your head was pounding with the headache from the screaming the two of you have done the last two hours. The argument was the same as it always.

Matt being the Devil of Hell's Kitchen.

Each day that passed by with him gaining more bruises and cuts - you felt like your heart was squeezed tighter with panic. And the worst part was, Matt knew it. He knew it but couldn't bring himself to stop. It was like a pull he couldn't break when it came to protecting Hell's Kitchen. That pull only grew stronger each night and he didn't want to stop.

"You knew this was how I was..."Matt spoke, his voice even and calm. A stark contrast from only moments before. "...why all of a sudden does that change now?"

"Because you got shot..." You whispered, but Matt was able to hear you. "Two millimeters over and you could've been dead on that rooftop when Foggy found you. And what would we have to do then...huh? Move on? Act like I didn't just lose a part of me?"

"No," Matt breathed, slowly moving towards you. His unfocused eyes closed for a moment as he stopped to stand in front of you.

You stared up towards him as his hand moved down and caressed over your face. His touch was hesitant, almost like he was afraid you wouldn't want his touch. But instead it just made you lean into the calloused hand. Matt opened his eyes as his thumb wiped the tears from your cheek.

"You know I'm as careful as I can be." Matt moved to kneel down in front of you, his brown eyes unfocused as he spoke. "But I'm not gonna stop, not when every night a new threat falls upon this city. This...Punisher is going to kill innocent people...how can I stand by and allow that?"

"You're a good man, Matt. As much as you like to argue that fact but...and I love you..."

Matt could hear the steady beat of your heart, but as the silence fell between you with a silent "but" hanging in the air - your heart rate began to pick up.

Matt tried to swallow the lump in his throat while his hands gripped tightly at your thighs.

"Please...please don't do this..." His voice cracked.

A small noise came from you as you fought to hold back another sob.

"...I just want to be done. I'm tired, Matty. I'm so, so fucking tired."

"I love you," Matt spoke, "I love you so fucking much, doesn't that mean anything?"

"Loving me isn't enough any more. Not when I'm no longer the first priority in your life." You cried. "You don't love me enough for that, Matt."

Matt let out a whimpered noise knowing that your words were right. He felt your hands moved up along his hands before caressing along his cheek. Matt closed his eyes and relaxed into your touch, memorizing how it felt to have your skin against his.

"You have to let me go, we can't keep doing this." You spoke, pressing your forehead against his.

The two of you sat there for a moment before you moved to gently get out of his reach. Matt listened as you moved around his apartment, gathering the things that were yours, removing you from his life. Matt's fists sat tightly on the tops of his thighs as he sat there and listened. He wanted to get up and beg for you to stay. But he knew that he would only hurt you further. Matt couldn't do that. He couldn't be selfish with you anymore.

You walked towards the door and grabbed your keys from your purse, slowly removing the key for his apartment from your loop. You placed it at the table right beside his door.

"I love you, Matt." You spoke, before walking out the door. Leaving him to sit in the silence.

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

OFF WITH YOUR HEAD

PART 2 OF HEADS WILL ROLL

SYNOPSIS: Whenever school is in session, Eren will just keep finding new places to corner you.

PAIRING: BULLY! EREN x FEM! READER

DEDICATED TO: you guys, always you guys.

WARNINGS: unedited, slight dubcon, groping, degradation, bullying,

WORD COUNT: 2.4K

Gooooood Morning Paradis Birds! Remember to give a big round of applause to the football team for clutching the victory against reigning champion Marley High! We stay undefeated thanks to our excellent and hardworking team. Special shoutout to Captain Eren Yeager for guiding the team to another flawless victory-

You're half-heartedly paying attention to class, sleepily listening to the school announcements over the speaker until the mention of his name douses you like a shock of ice-cold water.

You can't catch the rest of the announcement because your class erupts into cheer, enthusiastically clapping their hands for the boy of the hour.

The only one not joining is you.

Eren's smile is brighter than 100 kilowatts. In the back of your mind, you wonder where he learned to smile like that. When his emotions became so practiced.

Mr.Berner tries to calm the kids down, especially Sasha who bangs on her desks and howls, creating even more hype and ruckus. The class, now in a chattier mode, excitedly breaks into little conversations.

"Man, thank god. That school is so pretentious, I'm glad we finally have something over them."

"Jeez, I know our team was good, but it's this good-?"

"-Bro, year of XXXX is stacked as fuck. It's literally never been this stacked before. We have a whole team of prodigies, it's insane-especially Eren. "

"Yepp. My dad went to Paradis too and he said shit like this never happened during his time. The academic comps were one thing, but these footballs wins? We're being put on the fucking map."

The announcements are still going on, but it's hard to hear over the noise. You're only able to catch the tail end, a useless tidbit about the word of the day.

pre·mo·ni·tion a strong feeling that something is about to happen, especially something unpleasant. Here is an example: "She had a premonition of imminent disaster" Have a good day folks, hope it's free of any premonitions!

Overhearing the unceasing praise of the boy who pinched your thighs until they bruise blue and purple was a little painful-but you were used to it. After all, he's putting Paradis on the map. Whatever the fuck that means.

While you didn't love sharing this class with him, he was seated far across the room and surrounded by a gaggle of friends. You might as well have been invisible, the way he did not acknowledge you. Maybe you should treat it as a small mercy.

Unwittingly, your eyelids grow heavy. You're sitting in the back of the class, no one would notice if you took a little nap right? Assured by the fact no one will notice, you lower your head into your folded arms and let your thoughts float.

You dream of vaguely nothing but shadows of smiles, tufts of dark hair, and the smell of the wind at sea until a noise confined to the shape of your name breaks the harmony.

"[y/n?]"

"[y/n?]"

You startle awake with pairs of eyes piercing their gazes at you. Swallowing thickly, you apologize to Mr.Berner who looks worried. He's a good teacher, and one of your favorites.

"I'm sorry Mr.Berner. I had a migraine so I laid my head down." You lie smoothly, with more grace than you knew you were capable of. Course, you could have just said you were taking an unprompted nap, but that would disappoint your lovely teacher.

He sighs, "Guess that can't be helped then. Go to the nurse ok?"

Bingo. The nurse was an understanding lady, she'd let you sleep the rest of the period off. You nod, and start to gather your materials, relieved the class' attention on you was beginning to dwindle.

"Wait, Mr.Berner, let me take her. What if she gets disoriented and falls in the hall?"

Fuuuuck. You should have known. You should have expected this because attached to the request dripping with faux concern was none other than the precious jewel of the kingdom. Eren's intrusion makes your peers perk up again at the scene unfolding in front of them.

You smile, lips tightly pressed, "I'll be fine. I don't want to distract anyone from the lesson and it's a short walk-

"It's still potentially dangerous.", Your teacher interrupts, pinching the bridge of the nose, "And while I'm completely surprised by Eren's sudden streak of altruism, he's right. Something could happen. He'll take you there safely."

A very convenient streak of altruism, all right. You think it over in your head, yeah the nurses' office is right down the hall, and once you're there, he'll leave. Sure, he'll taunt you but you can handle a few minutes worth of cruelty.

It's awkward getting up, and walking in front of the class while Eren props the door open like a gentleman. You know what a sharp contrast it must look like, you and him, you cowering into yourself, not meeting any eyes while he stands tall and confident.

"Do you have everything?" His tone is one of reassurance, and for the barest of the moments, feels too familiar. You know he's not being genuine right now, and for the first time, you question if he was genuine back then.

"You can hold onto my arm if you're too dizzy to walk." He says as you guys slip out of the classroom, purposefully a little too loudly. You hear coos from girls and a stray "She's so lucky!"

He must have heard it too, because he lowers his head to whisper into your ear, "Yeah, very lucky, aren't you?" Wisps of dark hair tickle your cheeks. You see the glint of tiny silver hoops and wonder when he had gotten his ears pierced. The illusion breaks and the performative charming prince's reassuring smile is replaced by a sneer.

"Didn't know you could lie like that, by the way. Some good girl you are if you're trying to ditch class like this." Fingers dig deep into your waist as he drags you along the empty hallway that seems to stretch on for miles.

Your breath gets stuck in your throat, "How did you know I was lying?"

Viridian eyes narrow, "I've seen you get migraines before." There's a knock on your heart. As if realizing he was talking about something far away ago, a vindictive edge laces into words pouring out of his mouth, "I bet you wanted this to happen, didn't you? Wanted to get us all alone."

He's trying to get a rise out of you, that much is obvious. So you ignore him to the best of your ability.

...which quickly proved to be futile, as you suddenly find your arm pinned to your back, and your front facing the nearest walls.

"I asked you a fucking question bitch." He's practically growling, "Fucking answer me."

If there was a world record for the shortest temper, best believe Eren Yeager will have collected that accolade too. He's getting too worked up, and you could definitely feel his harness poking the back on your ass, as he grinds into you.

You manage to crane your neck, wanting to have your face shoved into the wall, and then venomously spit out, "You're not looking for answers. You just want me to repeat whatever you think is true."

This position brings back flashbacks to the library when he caged you in against the bookshelves, and like then, he spins you around to face him quite abruptly.

His smile is full of sharp teeth, "No. I know I'm right."

You don't respond. He moves in closer, his breath fanning on your earlobes. Your body can't help but let an involuntary shudder, and you close your eyes, not wanting to see his pleased grin or the way the fluorescent light makes his hoops gleam like silver bullets.

One calloused finger flicks your nipple, "Do you want to know why I'm right?"

At your lack of response, the dark-haired boy rolls your nipple in between his fingers before pinching it painfully, eliciting a small whimper out of your fuckable lips. "N-no", you answer finally. You're wearing your thinnest bra because of the seasonal heat, and you can't help but regret that decision right now. The fact he's only paying attention to one of your nipples is driving you insane. Not that you want it, but you're so fucking sensitive right now. You struggle in his hold, causing him to hold you tighter, and by now his nails were probably embedded into your skin.

He chuckles at your honesty, rewarding you with a thick stripe of his tongue over the collared shirt of your uniform making you gasp. Did he just-, over your shirt too-, you look down and see a very visible wet spot.

Taking advantage of your distracted state, a eager hand snakes under your skirt until it settles in the middle of your panties. He licks your earlobe before speaking, his voice like ice under your heels.

"You were so fucking wet that day in the library while saying you hated me the entire time," he pauses as his fingers scissor you through your panties, as if to drive the message home, "About as wet as you are right now."

There's a wet spot there too, also caused by him. You crush your eyes shut, "Eren...please just take me to the nurse." You're not even struggling anymore, holding onto him out of your own accord, worried that if you don't hold onto anything-you'd fall on your knees.

The very headache you lied about having seemed not so non-existent after all.

Eren hooks his arms under the plush of your thighs, "Yeah. Of course, that's what I came to do, right?"

*

You had hoped you'd be granted a reprieve in the nurses' office but you'd forgotten that luck was never really in your favor. Because while you guys had entered the squeaky-clean office, the nurse was nowhere in sight.

Instead, a note sat on her desk in unassuming frilly cursive that Eren read with glee.

Sorry students! Minor emergency to take care of, and I'll be back by the middle of the next period. If you're badly hurt, see Mr.Ackerman in room 203. If not, just sit tight! Feel free to take up the beds.

Thank you,

Ms.Ral

Eren had turned to you with shining green eyes, "Since no one's here, I guess I'll have to keep you company. Don't want you to hurt yourself."

There was something claustrophobic about how Eren stood in front of the door as if to signify to get out of here, you had to get through him.

"Maybe I can get Mr.Ackerman..."

Eren's sudden bout of laughter makes you wince and retreat inside of yourself, "For what? A fake headache? You really wanna inconvenience him like that? Mr.Ackerman?"

You take slow steps backward until the back of your knees hit the school bed, making you stumble as you clumsily take a seat. Eren's been marching forward with every retreating step you took, and it's no surprise when he pushes you down the bed, strong hands on the side of your head, while his muscular legs force your thighs apart so he can settle himself in between.

"We have some time to kill, you know." Strands of dark hair fall into his eyes, and without thinking, you reach upwards to brush them aside.

He grips your wrist before you make it that far, nearly gritting out a "What are you doing?"

You just stare, not really knowing why that was your impulse either. Finally, you mouth out, "I want you to leave Eren."

The grip on your wrist is tighter than ever, and you very well know that you're going to have new finger-shaped bruises before the old ones even finish healing.

"And I want to stay." He punctuates each word slowly, and all you can think is how being pinned to a bed is much less painful than having the hard surface of wood digging onto your back.

You're fully aware of the heat in your core, and having Eren on top of you doesn't make this it any easier because fuck, he is attractive. Maddeningly so. And maybe you want him to go away so bad because you're afraid that if his fingers are caught inside of you, you'll thank him for it.

As if reading your mind, he lets go of your wrist (making a mental note of your sluggish movements and slipping resistance) and massages your warm hole from your panties.

"Eren please" You grit out. He merely chuckles, "What are you asking for, whore?"

You could feel tears threatening to fall. This was so embarrassing. Did you want this? Yes, yes. yes, yes. You were so wet right now and had enough of the teasing.

He alternated his kneading from slow and soft to fast and rough, and you couldn't help but let out the prettiest little moans Eren's ever heard. Since you lose all pretenses of resistance, his other hand roughly brushes against your hardened nipples, straining against the fabric of your shirt.

Okay, he decided. He's going to make you beg.

"Beg." It's announced like a command, and while you hear it, you don't really register it because your hips are busy chasing the heat, and it's all too much of an utter disappointment when his long thin fingers leave.

"I said beg slut."

"Eren, please, please. I need you so bad." You're blubbering and you don't care. You just want his pretty fingers to shove aside your panties and rub against your folds. You think back to the library, how wet you were, how the stupid fucking phone call from his coach interrupted him pumping his fingers inside of you. And you didn't know if you were happy or mad he left. But now, all you crave is the blissful wave of pleasure- the very pleasure he's been denying you.

Eren looks down at you, green eyes scrutinizing. After a long while of what it seems to be him just staring, he wipes his fingers on your skirt, brushes back his hair with a wayward hand.

"Looks like I should head back to class. See you later."

Too numb to say anything, you watch him leave with a smirk on his face. When you're sure he's walked away, you curl into yourself and cry.

[bookishofalder]

Rainy Days

Spencer x Reader

Request: @starwithoutdarkness - Hey! I heard you were looking for requests! Maybe Spencer Reid x reader fake dating fluff? Combined with Request: @paulaern  - Hello!  What about Spencer Reid x reader when they realizes they love each other? Like reader makes something for Spencer and he thinks like "I can't deny anymore, I'm completely and hopeless in love with her" or something like that  (G!neutral if you want)

A/N: Thank you so much for sending in requests! Hope this makes you smile!

Warnings: Swearing, moderate BAU violence, creepy men, fluffiest fluff, intense headache description. Set randomly post prison Reid but Hotch is still there because he should have been! WC-2,488

Spencer was staring at the geo-profile he had been working on all day, very glad to be inside. The weather in Seattle had stayed consistently rainy for the two days the BAU team had been in town assisting in catching a killer, who had been committing serial robberies/murders with no apparent rhyme or reason. And while Spencer didn’t mind the rain, he did mind loud, busy cities. Combined, they usually led to a headache that would take a day or two to recover.

The door to the conference room he was working alone in burst open and slammed shut so suddenly he nearly jumped out of his skin, turning to see-

You.

Spencer hated it when you appeared without warning, catching him entirely off guard and presenting the risk that you would notice the visible effort it took for him to compose himself around you.

While he’d noticed how beautiful and hilarious and empathetic you were the moment you joined the team, he’d fallen in love with you when you had your first case with them. Spencer had begun to ramble about the specifics of casinos, and how ‘beating the house’ was nearly impossible, when the rest of the team had tuned out. A temporary member, Agent Seaver, had sneered ‘I’m sorry I asked.” Effectively shutting him up. But then you had turned in your seat next to him and, after shooting Seaver a look had asked him to continue. And though he didn’t have that much more to say, and it wasn’t all that interesting, you listened to every single word and thanked him.

It had been years since that had happened, your friendship had blossomed into best friends, something Spencer cherished immensely. This was partly why he shoved his feelings down. The relationship did not need to change for Spencer to remain happy; as long as he got to spend time with you at work, or watch movies and make tent forts in his living room. And visit his mom (who adored you and always gave you book recommendations that you would be sure to read the moment you could), or go to comic conventions and museums...yes, as long as he could always do those things with you, he was happy.

No need to risk changing a perfect thing.

Now though, you were shutting the door and giving him your most panicked look, wide-eyed, with your hair damp from the rain you no doubt had run through to get inside, accounting for your breathlessness. If it weren’t for the worry that had sprung up inside of him upon seeing your expression, he would have fixated on how beautiful you looked at that moment.

“Spencer, you’re my boyfriend.” You whisper yelled at him, quickly stepping closer and setting your bag down on the conference table.

“Wha-“ He began, but you cut him off frantically.

“I’ll explain-just, oh fuck-“

Spencer stood frozen to the spot as the door reopened and one of the senior detectives sauntered in, a friendly smile somewhat overshadowed by the almost predatorial glint in his eyes. You awkwardly stepped closer to Spencer, raising a hand in hello.

“Agent (Y/L/N), great to see you’re back, I was hoping to catch you before the end of the day!” He said merrily, placing two hands on the back of the nearest chair. Something about the way his hands gripped the chair made Spencer feel...on edge.

You gave the fakest little giggle Spencer had ever heard from you, “Oh, nice to see you too Detective! Just had to catch up with Agent Reid here...”

When his eyes moved from you to assess Spencer briefly, he felt a protective force rear up, instincts entirely at alert. Without hesitating, he casually draped an arm over your shoulder, brushing some hair back as he did, and replied, “And you promised we could get some coffee from the Starbucks down the road, hon.”

He enjoyed the way your cheeks flushed and noticed the pulse in your neck pick up. You glanced up at him, trying to look coy but he knew you too well and could see you were partly surprised, and also trying not to laugh.

“Um, of course, I nearly forgot, babe, let’s go in about 5-unless, did you need something specific, Detective?” She broke off to glance back at the now scowling man, who gave an annoyed jerk of his head before stomping back out of the room.

Once the door banged closed behind him, you let out the biggest sigh of relief, raising a hand to your face in dismay.

Spencer hadn’t removed his arm yet, “I’m assuming I just helped you avoid being asked out, but why-?”

“Uhg, Spencer, I’ve already turned him down TWICE since we’ve arrived! He’s literally the kind of dude who doesn’t take no for an answer unless another man has some fucking misogynistic claim over the woman!” You exclaimed, before moving to stand right in front of Spencer and lean just your head to his chest, staring down at the floor, “I hate everything.”

Spencer laughed, patting your back softly, but internally making note that he wouldn’t be letting you go anywhere alone for the rest of this case-that detective gave him the creeps. And while you were beyond capable of protecting yourself, he just knew he wouldn’t be able to focus on anything if he thought you could be hurt.

“Well, just so we’re clear I would never want to be called ‘babe’ in a relationship.” He joked and the desired effect was his immediate reward when you lifted your head and giggled-your genuine, beautiful little giggle-and then grinned.

“Spencer, you called me ‘hon’ like we were 70.”

Spencer considered a moment, “We could be, you’ll be Gladys and I’ll be-“

“Winston!” You supplied eagerly, and he frowned at you, trying not to laugh.

“Winston?”

“It’s really very dignified, the kind of name where people call you ‘sir’.” You replied cheekily, and while Spencer grinned, a part of him felt a swoop of pleasure when your lips formed the word ‘sir’.

He decided very quickly that he liked the idea of you calling him that. And then, just as swiftly dismissed that train of thought and chastised himself.

As you both stood together and laughed, the door swung open and Hotch and the team followed him in, all in various stages of the results of exposure to the rain, looking equally grim. Spencer and you abruptly stopped when you saw their expressions and launched back into work mode seamlessly.

———

Two days later, the team was closing in on the unsub and everyone was on high alert. Taking the profile and applying it to the geo-profile he had been working on, Spencer had narrowed down this grubby old apartment that sat above a nightclub as the most likely spot the unsub was staying at. Of course, they were arriving at night which meant the club was busy and loud, people lined up out the doors waiting for their chance to enter, pay too much for a drink and grind their bodies against strangers.

Spencer’s headache from the unforgiving rain was thrumming now with the music that seemed entirely unencumbered by the walls of the stairwell, the team slowly climbing. It was bad enough that his eyes narrowed somewhat, but he didn’t lose focus.

You were behind him, watching his six as Hotch and Morgan approached the door ahead and prepared to breach. Spencer slipped a hand behind his back and, on cue, you’re pinky wrapped with his. A brief promise to each other, ‘I’ve got you.’.

They had anticipated violence and heavy arms, so when their announcement was met with silence and the door was kicked open, the tactical response was to secure positions and carefully proceed. Agents and SWAT members lined the building and were, at that moment, securing the club below to ensure the unsub couldn’t flee into a room full of potential hostages.

Spencer and you were the third pair to enter, quickly moving ahead of the others to secure more rooms, eyes peeled for movement. The floor was covered in litter and random spots of dirt and dried substances. It smelled like body odour and axe body spray-which immediately went to Spencer’s headache and caused it to throb in protest.

“Freeze!”

You had shouted right as Spencer noticed the movement from a back room down the hall, as the unsub leaned out and, not abiding by the command, opened fire. Spencer grabbed you and swung you both behind the wall of the kitchen, out of the line of fire while he shouted the unsubs location.

You recovered quickly, dropping to the ground and leaning out to return fire as Hotch and Morgan ran across to the living room to join the battle. It only took a few moments after that before Morgan managed to get a shot to the suspect's shoulder and he fell with a cry of anguish.

You popped up from the ground, watching as Prentiss and Rossi moved forward to secure the man, and barked into your radio for medics to come in.

Spencer, meanwhile, was reeling. When the shots in the room had all joined together in a cacophony, sound and noise piercing his skull, it had converted to pain and panic in his skull, overwhelming him. He had used his own body to shield yours when he pulled you with him into the wall, and the caution he took with you meant he hadn’t caught himself carefully enough, his head bouncing lightly off of the stone wall.

Which, on a normal day would have simply been annoying. But today, with a headache so severe he was beginning to get spots in his vision, it was detrimental. The scene was secure, so he allowed his eyes to shut, a meagre reprieve but at least it was something, at least he didn’t have to see the beams from the flashlights or the pulsing of the neon signs outside of the windows...

“Winston, take my hand.” Your voice was so, so soft. Spencer let his mouth open slightly, a small rush of air all he managed, trying to say ‘I can’t-it hurts, make it stop’ but you grasped his hand tightly and pulled and he followed, his other hand reaching and grabbing that back of your vest, he let you lead him.

He knew from the reduced foot traffic of agents and crime scene workers that you were taking the rear exit, a stairwell that was narrower than the main. He peeked through his lashes to take the stairs, and then suddenly, the cool night air hit him and the door was closing behind you both.

You kept walking with purpose, leading Spencer further away from the loud building. The rain spattered his face but with each step the noise reduced and after a short walk it became relatively quiet.

“Sit.” You murmured, halting. Spencer opened his eyes and saw that you had led him to the farthest spot in the parking lot from the building, where trees lined the lot along a community park that was probably utilized by vagrants and drug dealers more than families. But there was a bench, and you were waiting for him to take a seat. You had pulled out a compact, expandable emergency rain shield from one of the pockets on your FBI utility belt and tossed it on the bench, protecting you both from soaking your underwear.

Spencer sat, setting his elbows on his legs and leaning forward with his hands pressed to his face. He took deep, steadying breaths as you joined him, your hand on the back of his neck. At first, he thought you were just resting it there because his FBI vest would have prevented him from feeling your hand on his back, however, a moment later it was joined by your other hand and a very cold object.

Resisting the urge to pull away, he gasped at the contact, “What-?”

“On-the-go cold compress, Doctor.” You explained, leaving it in place and then rummaging again. Spencer wanted to look but the compress, combined with the quiet, was already doing wonders. He continued to take deep breaths.

“When you’re ready, try this.” You said softly, pressing something to his hand. Opening his eyes, he saw a mini flask that had his name written on the side.

He turned his head slowly so as not to move the compress and met your eyes, which were assessing him with concern. “(Y/N), when did we start drinking on the job?”

You giggled quietly, “It’s just water mixed with this like, vitamin powder that’s supposed to be good for rehydrating you quickly. I did some research on how to help headaches like yours on the go, just in case, and I made this ‘Spencer’ care bag.” You rambled a little when he didn’t reply.

Spencer looked back at the flask and opened it, quickly downing the contents. It tasted pretty fruity and he realized he was thirsty, this taking the edge off.

“Is it okay?” You asked. Spencer raised his head and met your eyes, searching them.

He was overwhelmed, the headache already fading, in its place an intensely warm feeling building inside of him as he considered the time and effort you had taken to care for him. He hadn’t asked you, or hinted, you had just taken it on to find a way to help him and you were right there when he needed you the most.

You had always been there when he needed you. When he had been shot protecting Blake, when he struggled to care for his mother, when he had gone to prison, when he was freed, you were there.

The words tumbled out, unable to be contained a second longer.

“I am hopelessly in love with you.”

Your mouth opened and closed in surprise, taken entirely off guard. Though he worried what you would say, he couldn’t deny the relief he felt having finally said it out loud. He watched patiently as your mind processed his confession, holding his breath.

“I-Spencer,” And then suddenly your lips were pressing into his and the pain from his headache ceased entirely. Spencer was consumed by the feel of you against him, of your hands holding his face and the hum of content you gave when he returned your passion, dropping his flask and sliding his hands up your neck, gripping tenderly.

After what could have been hours, weeks, or years, you both broke apart, pulling back just enough to make eye contact without your eyes crossing. Neither of you let go, your breath puffing out in wisps in the cold night air.

“I love you too,” You breathed, “I could grow old with you, Winston.”

Spencer laughed, relief and happiness swooping through him at your words, “Gladys, I couldn’t imagine anything more perfect.”

Did you enjoy this story? Please consider reblogging or commenting to ease my inner turmoil as a writer. Likes are basically just a bookmark!

You grinned back at Spencer, and then he kissed you again.

[haechanokeh]

I'm Right For You [pt 7]

pairing: popular college! mark x average! reader

genre: romance, smut, angst, series.

warning (general): corruption, oral sex (both receiving and giving), cream pie, rough sex, mention of religion, rough sex, self-esteem, public sex, sub! reader, sex toys. possessive mark two-faced mark

[teaser] [ Chapter 1 ] [ Chapter 2 ] [ Chapter 3 ] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6]

you are shoving your face on the table because of embarrassment. when you're back to your senses you realize the mess you made in the lee's carpet and dining table. if they knew what happened they would probably not going to use this table.

mark was just laughing at you and watching you mumbling to yourself about how humiliating you are and naming yourself dumb or idiot. you already finished your food and took your paracetamol though the orgasm did relieve your headache but you should still drink paracetamol just in case.

"okay stop that, i'll walk you home." you heard a dragging noise of a chair against the carpet. you look up and mark was carrying your bag already. "okay..." you whispered and stood up too. he chuckled and put his hands behind you.

"don't over think. they will not notice it, i already cleaned it but..." he moved his lips closer to you ear. "but the scent of sex is hard to cover. " he was just teasing you and you totally fell for it.

your jaw dropped and your heart began to beat in a fast face because of panic. "What should we do? what should we do?"

"don't think too much about it. right now, let's get you home, hmm?" he gave you an assuring smile though you're still worrying about the smell you just let him drag you out.

both of you were walking talking about what you did these past few days, and giving him your recommended netflix series and movies. he's nodding, listening, and giving you reactions. mark was just cherishing the moment with you and you enjoy his company. you were being talkative because you really missed him and enjoy his company. mark on the other hand, cherishes every moment with you and he liked your talkativeness.

when you reached the front of your house, you were kind of disappointed and it was written all over your face.

"lock your doors." mark told you, he's worried about your safety after learning that your mom is away. he secretly jog every night to midnight to check your house in the days were chose to ignore you. of course he doesn't want to tell you that.

"is he going?" you don't want him to go yet.

"what?" his brows furrowed.

"what?" you confusingly asked back.

"what, you want me to stay?" he pointed at himself with his index.

you bit your lower lip and squeezed your eyes. your mouth doesn't cooperate well to you brain and will get you in trouble someday. your mouth literally didn't receive some signals that there are things meant to be kept in mind.

"no, no. don't mind me, your parents will comeback, shoo shoo they are looking for you." you said with your hands shooing.

"i mean i can stay if you want. they will just think i am sleeping and if they catch me going home late they will just think that i went for a jog." he stepped forward.

your eyes lock with mark's and you stay still. he lower his gaze to your lips. your chest feeling some weights. mark was finally leaning forward, hand at the back of your head and pulled you gently towards him. lips parted at first and when you felt his soft lips intertwined with you, you couldn't help but to feel the bliss.

this is what mark can make you feel.

you were sharing a slow kiss at first. mark pulled you closer wanting more. he locked your lips, sucking yours that made you moan and grab his shoulder. he slid his tongue inside you, moving in and out and massaging your tongue. you squeezed your thigh in arousal. the blood rushing inside your body, experiencing heat and excitement.

he slowly pulled away his lips and gripped your hips pulling you towards him. you felt mark's bulge under his pants.

"i need you so badly." mark murmured.

"let's get inside." you pulled him.

once you closed the door when you entered the house, it turned into havoc. you're now against the wall, naked. mark sucking your nipples, his left hand squeezing your other breast and this right rubbing your centerfolds that are still wet from your orgasm before the dinner. your leg is clinging around his waist, hands playing his hair and mouth parted producing breathy moans.

mark capture your lips again. your hand reached for his hardness and rubbed him against his pants. he groaned and tugged at your lips. you met his eyes and you saw his dark side again.

you pulled mark's dick out of his pants and pumped it and your thumb pressing the tip of its head. you felt proud when he moaned louder in your lips.

"fvck y/n, i want you so much. pull my pants down, now." he said in a needy voice. you quickly obliged, you were on your knees and ready to take him through your mouth... which you expect but surprisingly he pulled you up. "i don't need that right now, i want to fuck you up so bad."

he grabbed your legs and put it around his hips. your sexes were touching each other. you couldn't help but to move because just like him, you want him inside. he kicked the small table and it hit your favorite long sofa, connecting it. he put you at your small living room table. he lightly slapped your cheek.

"on your fours." mark commanded. your eyes widen.

"right here?" referring to the coffee table.

"yes." he replied. though you were hesitating you followed him. on your knees and hands on the sofa. he showed you his palm. "spit on it, baby."

of course, you're the submissive here, you spit on it. he used it to lubricate around his dick. he caressed your ass.

"do you want me to continue?" making sure that this is mutual.

"yes, please." you're growing impatient now. he snickered.

mark put his knee on the coffee table and slowly inserted his length on your. both of you groaned because of your tightness.

"baby, you're tight for me." he told you. even though you couldn't see him because he's behind you, his image of being frustrated is hella hot and it made you pussy clench. "ah, shit y/n." he cursed in pleasure.

mark slowly thrusted his hip and gripped your hips with light hands. after a few slow thrusts he leaned forward, he began to fasten the pace and kissed your shoulder and arm wrapped around your waist while rubbing your clit fast and hard. his other hand is on your hip and sometimes smacking your behind leaving a pink print but you're not complaining.

"gawd, mark!" he eyes twitched when you felt his roughness.

"yes, baby?" he grunted. your arms lost its strength causing you to shove your cheek on the sofa, your mouth opened.

"ohhh mark, right there! right there!" your eyes flickered and mouth drooling. your toes curled and ass lifted up more in pleasure.

you screamed on top of your lungs. reached your orgasm. however, mark hasn't reached his release.

he leaned forward to whisper in your ears.

"can you do one more for me, y/n?" he kissed the behind of your ear. you nodded weakly. "good girl."

mark felt your cunt clenched. he smiled. "my y/n want to be called a good girl?" the inner dom appeared

you didn't answer still in your euphoria. he turned your body, your back lying on the sofa. he lifted your back to carry you and switched the position. he's now sitting on the sofa, legs spread on the table. you're sitting his pelvis and chest against his chest while face on the crevice on his neck.

"do you still want to be called a good girl?" he asked but didn't answer. he grabbed your jaws and pushed it away to see your face. "answer me." his voice was deep and full of authority. he squished your cheeks.

"yes." you replied in fear mix with excitement. he removed his hands away from your face and put it on the sides of your face.

"put my dick in." he ordered. you use your remaining strength to lift yourself. you hold the base of his dick and guide it to penetrate you. you sighed and purred as you felt your still sensitive pussy.

"move." he slapped your ass and squeezed it.

mark looking up to you with eager face and stare at your erotic face, moaning as you move. you're gripping his shoulders as your support.

"look at me, love, don't close your eyes." he hissed. with your doe eyes, you stare at him. "fucking beautiful." mark admires every single feature of your pleasured face.

you are bouncing using all your remaining strength but you swear, you have nothing left and it made you burst into tears because of frustration. you want to make him and you to cum but you're losing your strength.

"mark, mmhh i can't anymore." you cried-moan, tears rolling on your cheeks. mark bit his lip at how sexy your fucked up look. you said those words but still trying to move, you don't want to break the momentum.

"tell me what to do, y/n. what does my good girl want?" he wanted to be a little playful to you. you put your forehead against his and locked eyes with him.

"please fuck me mark, hard and rough." you told him. mark didn't expect you to be this bold but gawd he liked it. he pecked your lips.

"got it." he said. he held your waist and once he lifted his pelvis, there's no stopping.

every time he thrust up, mark makes sure that his full length is inside you but never decreases the speed. it sends your senses to another universe, you're chanting mark's name through your drooling mouth, eyes rolling and trying not to break eye contact with mark through your fluttering lashes.

you are bouncing effortlessly because of his powerful thrusts and every time he hits you, your legs twitched and tears coming out from your eyes. you are losing your grip in his shoulder, even the tips of your fingers have no energy, it was as if mark sucked everything.

"mark..." you whimpered.

"why are you crying? do you like it this much?" he whispered between his moans. half of his brain doesn't want you to cry, he hate it but learning that you cry because of pleasure, he badly wants to make you cry more.

"i want to cum." you mewled. he snickered.

"greedy, you already cummed twice today." mark pecked the tip of your nose. why is he soft and rough at the same time? "but for you love, i will give everything you ask."

he became rougher, harder, and faster, mark unleashed the beast he's been hiding. air started to knock out of your lungs and jaw dropped, eyes flickering, and you became a moaning mess.

"i missed you so much, it was a torture every time i see you at school but not able to touch you." mark growled and nails digging in your flesh . "i love you so much, i fucking love you and accept it y/n, because if you don't... i will force you. you can't run from me, do you understand." you saw a glimpse of the spine-chilling face he's wearing.

he settled you in his pelvic, dick still inside you. he stopped thrusting and he earned a whining protest from you for stopping.

"answer me or i will stop this." he warned you.

"yes! yes, please mark don't stop!" you can't think straight, you were having a hard time understanding him but whatever it is you're sure that he's professing his love for you again.

mark moved his hips again. your skins slapping, though you couldn't moan, mark is quite loud. your body started to switch, you want to tell him you're cumming already but you became voiceless.

"i'm cumming, fuck." mark said through his gritting teeth. he pushed your down and deep, he hit your spot. both of you reached your climax. you can feel his fluid fully occupied your hole.

both of you stayed still, your face shoved in his neck. mark showered the side of your face with soft kisses.

"sleepy?" he hummed. you nodded. "you did well, baby."

mark effortlessly carried you and bring you to your bed. he laid on the bed beside you. you rolled to face him.

"i love you." he said, not expecting anything from you because typically you don't reply when he says that.

but because you're full of surprises and once again your mouth didn't cooperate with your brain. you unconsciously whispered words that made mark startle.

"i love you too." and everything became blank.

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Tag List: @cloudykeiji @jjikyuu @sunshinedhyuck @wassup-haeyadwae @erisxczenie @mrklyy @resceluwu @jenotation @wanlore

[cocobutnochanel]

A Dream Too

Genre: angst, drama, romance, flashbacks, exboyfriend!Baekhyun

Main Characters: Byun Baekhyun x Reader (oc: female)

Warnings: profanity, mature themes

Summary: Love or career, people always ask. When your ‘successful’ self crosses paths with the love of your life again, you’ll see another woman live your ‘dream’. 

Word Count: 2.5k+ words

'How do you truly move on?'

You ask yourself for the nth time today while waiting for the 20 minutes to pass you by so you can finally go home. Back to that thought, it was really confusing for you. You had no idea if you had moved on or just forgot. Or maybe, those wounds were just buried and no longer to be seen but nonetheless, still there.

"How do you move on?" You ask Dr. Kim who just entered your office, his tiny head peeping from the door's tiny crack. "Before you drift to your throughts again, you have a patient waiting. Your shift ain't over yet." Minseok, your friend since college and now colleague, calls the patient inside.

You sit straighter and clear your throat. A woman your age walks in with a three year old girl in hand.

You smile brightly at the child and her mom. "Hi, doc." The familiar little girl in pigtails waves shyly at you. "Hi, babe." She blushes at your usual nickname for her. This was the third time you have her over and you find her so adorable. She's so shy.

The woman your age hands you the file for them that was forwarded by the nurse. "Sorry to disturb you, doc. Areum is here to see you again." She laughs nervously as her child only bows in shyness. You put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. "Don't worry about it, ma'am. She's my favorite." You smile at the shy mother too. Probably where the little girl inherited it from.

Scanning the file, the child is said to have fevers. You remember too that three weeks ago, Areum came because of a fever. You take a thermometer to measure the child's temperature. "Kindly face the side, sweetie." You coo at her and she obliges in a second.

You sanitize the tympanic thermometer before putting it in her ear. While it hasn't come back with results, you ask her mother about how the child is. This happens so naturally. It was basically a routine. This was your dream.

"So since when did she have this fever?" You ask Areum's mom who was rubbing her child's back while you hold the thermometer in her ear. "Two days ago. Her immune system is really weak." She sighs sadly, looking at her kid with pitiful eyes.

You take out the beeping thermometer. Your eyes skim over Areum's temp, 39.2°. "How are you feeling then, Reummie?" You ask her while sanitizing the thermometer before putting it back.

You pick up the stethoscope around your neck. "Come here, babe." You say softly to Areum who willingly follows. You listen to her heartbeat and everything was pretty normal. The fever was the only thing bothering the child.

“Is there anything bothering you right now?” You frown a little at the little girl’s tiny grimace. 

"Headaches." She mutters under her breath. You nod at the kid's answer. "Do you have cough? Some other sickness?" You ask her again, a pen in hand to take note of what the child's answer could be.

She shakes her head at your question. "Just fever." Areum's mom smiled sadly when she answered.

"Since you've been getting on and off fevers ever since, we will just assume for now it's because of the weather. It’s been snowing hard, Areum needs to put more clothes on." You advice while jotting down the prescription for Areum after checking her heartbeat.

"Just take what I usually recommend. Also, her vitamins and diet should be more monitored, ma'am. Her water intake too." You say that without looking at her mom but you know she's nodding and listening.

Areum’s mom was exceptionally beautiful. She was an exact opposite of her but you admired her tremendously. You admired her strength and courage. It wasn’t easy to be a housewife and a very hands-on mom like her. God knows you would never do that for someone. 

Speaking of that, you never truly did. Your passion for medicine and science was always greater. Well, you thought so.

Snapping out of your thoughts, you sign at the bottom and hand the paper to Areum's mother. "If she still has fever until the end of the week, bring her back so we can run some tests on her." You say as she nods at everything you say. You hand her the prescription and she happily takes it.

"Thank you so much, doc." She smiles at you gratefully as she stands up. "Let me walk you out." You stand up yourself too and pick up your belongings that were prepared beforehand.

You hold Areum's hand as you three walk out of your office. Passing by the nurses' table, you log yourself out of your shift and finally proceed walking with Areum to the parking lot.

You see her reserved demeanor even grow when people and patients were around. She was an exact opposite of you, you think again. You were independent, confident and hungry for your career ambitions while she bowed a little too low. Women could be insanely different but still, her choice astounded you. It takes a lot of strength to be gentle, you ponder.

"Where are you going after, doc?" Areum's mom inquired when you entered the elevator for the basement parking, stopping you from getting lost further in your thoughts. "Just home." You press Basement 1 with your free hand as Areum held the other.

"There's a boyfriend waiting then?" She asks you with a shy smile, trying to make conversation. "I don't even have time for sleep. I can't imagine having one." You laugh at her question.

Wildly, you wonder back to your earlier thought. Maybe if I didn't become a doctor, I'd be a mother like her too. But I chose my dream.

You snap out of your thoughts and ask her back. "How about you, ma'am?" The elevator pinged and opened. "My husband's just picking us up to go home." She smiles with content as if her husband was everything. You kind of wished you had that too.

Well actually, you had it. But you lost it too.

Before you could part ways with the shy kid and her even shyer mother, a black sedan pulls up in front of you.

A familiar man in a suit gets out, a face you know too well. "Appa!" You smile at Areum who was now running to the dapper man. Despite being sick, Areum was still excited to see her dad. Areum's mom walks over to the driver too and you finally look up.

You lost your breath the moment you recognized his face. It was him. The reason why you had asked such questions to Minseok. His face alone brought you the memory.

(flashback)

You wanted to bang your head against the desk as you skim over the Macleod's Clinical Examination for the nth time today. Nothing was going your way today. Med school was stressing you out, giving you a maximum of 9-hour sleep a week.

You hear some noise from your living room. You decide to take a study break and finally head out of your study. You haven't seen your boyfriend for a week despite living in the same apartment.

Despite his schedule being loose as a freelancer, your med studies were enough to stop the two of you from seeing one another.

You turn the doorknob and see a surprising scene in front of you. "W-What is this?" Your voice broke at the sight of Baekhyun and his luggage. His eyes were red and framed with dark circles. He looked sad and tired.

"I'm moving out." He states the obvious, sitting down on the sofa with a troubled face. "Why?" Your voice cracked again as it sounded so much like desperation and shock.

"You don't even have time for me." He mutters softly, obviously trying to stay calm. You were shocked at what he said. He loved you the most, he supported you the most. How could he not understand that this was your dream? How could he not understand that this isn’t forever? How could he demand so fucking much?

You fall to your knees weakly as tears in your eyes threatened to spill. "It's not your fault. I'm not even forcing you to choose me, Y/N. B-But, I can't live like this. Not anymore." He huffs out as if it was a burden he had carried ever since.

"I know it's not my fault, Baek! Hell, you're making me feel bad for chasing my dream!" You cry in hopelessness. "I'm sorry." He whispers, meters away from you.

Tears have finally made way to your face as internal pain enveloped your being. "It's just that- I can't be with someone who doesn't have time." He tries to say it again as if it's gonna make things better.

"Is it really going to be worth it? Us breaking up over this?" You didn't want to beg but God knows you've spent half your life with this man, dreaming of spending the rest of it with him. Was he really not for you? 7 years just going down the drain because you didn't have enough time?

"Am I not enough, Baekhyun?" You ask once again when he falls silent, his face in his hands. "Am I not a reason enough for you to stay?" You were disgusted at how you were on your knees, begging a man to stay.

His face was filled with sorrow as his eyes avoid meeting yours. You suddenly remember that he was the same boy who loved you unconditionally with endless patience seven years ago.

"Byun Baekhyun, I have loved you ever since I saw you that day when you laughed out loud in front of the class while introducing yourself in fifth grade." You recall an image of the boy you have loved ever since. "Tell me, don't I love you enough?" Your lips were trembling.

"I'm sorry." Baek mutters again, making you cringe at his words. "Stop apologizing, for fuck's sake, Baekhyun! I’m asking you! Am I not fucking enough?" You explode in anger, tears and pain.

"Seven years..." You whisper to the air. It felt like it was just yesterday when you two were in high-school and in love. How did it end like this? How did it end just because of time. How could he not understand? "Don't you want me to reach my dreams?" You ask him again, tears streaming down your face.

He closes his eyes shut as tears started racing down his face too. It was at that moment you realized that you weren't the only one in pain. He was too.

Like how you are breaking right now, he had suffered in silence too. He saw how consumed you were, thinking he was no longer important in your life. He saw how this relationship made it hard for you to concentrate too. He saw how he slowly faded in your ‘dream’.

But still, it broke you knowing that you hurt him this bad. It broke you knowing that the pain was too much, he had to disappear.

Your world crumbled in front of you as he stood there in pain, determined to leave. He was your first love. He was your everything. How could something so beautiful end like this?

"I'm not forcing you to choose me, Y/N." He says painstakingly, sorrow and loneliness in his voice. The aching pain in his heart was now double as he sees you on your knees.

"Will you be happy?" You ask the love of your life as he held his things in his arms. He only nodded with gritted teeth, knowing it’d be hard for him too.

That was it. The sign you needed. You were gonna let him go. You loved him too much, you couldn't imagine letting him suffer even more. You would always wish for his happiness. So you take a deep breath and nod back at him too.

For the last time, he speaks to you. "I'm not forcing you to choose me because I'm holding you back. So reach your dreams, Y/N. Reach it without me, doc." He stands up and finally departing for good, leaving you broken and your questions unanswered.

Today's Byun Baekhyun looked no day older than he did the moment he left the apartment you two shared. The supposed life you two were going to have.

"This is Dr. Y/L/N, she's Areum's doctor." Areum's mom happily links his arm with Baekhyun, snapping you out of your momentary flashback. A soft 'oh' falls from his lips as a lump forms in your throat in silence.

You couldn't breathe. Your world stops like it just did six years ago while you were on your knees and on the floor of the same shared apartment. You weren't over him at all. Moving on meant completely being fine. But despite six years flying out the window since he left, he still had that effect on you. He still left you breathless like he did in fifth grade with his hearty laugh.

"You made it, doc." He gives you the same smile he had way back when he confessed that he had a crush on you in seventh grade. Your lungs constrict at the nickname and you couldn't say a word.

His eyes shone with adoration and love that was once for you. "Yeobo, do you know her? She's a very good doctor." Areum's mother cheered, her daughter nodding in agreement too.

You see him pick Areum up in his arms. Now, the little kid resembled him a lot. It made sense, you know. He was now with a girl who could only see him in the future. He was with a woman who loved him enough to give up on her career. How could you not notice?

"Appa, I'm hungry." Areum murmured against her father's shoulders. Baekhyun rubs his daughter’s back as Areum’s mom places a chaste kiss on her husband’s lips. Tears pooled in your eyes as a familiar pain spreads in your chest. 

"I-I better get going." You stammered, feeling abandoned all over again. You knew you were going to cry if you stayed one more second with them.

He had moved on. He had a family. While you, on the other hand, are still stuck over something that happened years ago.

"Do you know her? Is she okay?" You can hear Areum's mother pry to her husband once again. Husband, your heart ached at that thought.

Before you were out of earshot, you hear Baekhyun's answer to his wife's question that makes you want to run back home and cry. Everything finally made sense. You weren't happy despite reaching your dream. It wasn’t complete. You still pondered over moving on. You still wondered how he was. But right in this moment, you realize it.

"Just an old friend, yeobo." No, Baekhyun, you were my dream too.

[thefirsthogokage]

Not that I want to watch new copaganda (I tolerate Law and Order Organized Crime for Elliot Stabler, as a character from my youth), but I got bored and needed something to watch, so I've put on the Turner and Hooch reboot show staring Josh Peck. (OH WAIT THIS ISNT A REBOOT THIS IS A CONTINUATION OF THE MOVIE! I could believe Josh Peck as Tom Hanks's son. Now I get why they hired Peck.)

I hate it.

Like, I'm sure they won't touch on any big issues and what not, but they are still gonna cop wrong.

So, Turner is apparently a US Marshall and they have this witness they need to protect. Well, the witness got shot and apparently the best place they thought to have him was...

Out in the fucking open with NO COVER.

Like, please think you guys, this is cop show 101. This is one of the reasons Disney shouldn't make a cop show (besides all the other reasons to not make a cop show).

Oh, and they had him crash through a homeless man's cart full of cans for laughs, I guess? Lots of just other really annoying things about that car chase too.

And of course no one took the time to teach Josh Peck how to hold a gun:

BEND YOUR ARM DUDE!

If you are going to make a cop show, please hire actual former law enforcement TO MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR TALENT HOLDING WEAPONS CORRECTLY AND WRITING CORRECT TACTICAL RESPONSES! I DONT FUCKING CARE IF ITS A DAMN DIANEY SHOW, DO YOUR FUCKING RESEARCH AND HIRE EXPERTS AND LISTEN TO THEM!

I honestly don't understand the target audience for this show. It seems light it's supposed to be a light hearted show for adults, I guess? But if that's the case THEN THEY DEFINITELY NEED TO DO THEIR JOB!

Having a dog in the building is not a health code violation pal, you're a lawyer, you should know that.

The only acting I don't like on this show is by Josh Peck. I until this moment I think he had dead eyes.

Ok, his acting got better.

Seriously, who is the target audience of this show, like, it's dumb. There's so much dumb here. It can't be fore kids too much because someone was shown with a bloody shoulder after an attempted hit. It can't be fore adults because how how back the cop (functional-wise) and how bad the writing is. Who is this for?

Omg, no way an FBI agent pulling an inside job would be dumb enough to actually be part of the team who went to got kill someone. No way.

WHO IS THIS DUMB SHOW FOR?!

At least they are giving their all in the acting department on the show. Well, most of them most of the time for sure.

Why TF did they make a noise somewhere and then go in almost immediately to a room with no less bad guys? Oh yeah, they don't know what they're doing! Such a dumb scene.

"What kind of idiots are you?!" One mind, this character and I have. Except that's me at their production crew, and writers, and director.

The only character that's made any sense on this show is the guy who got shot in the earlier picture that I had up there.

Like, I get that it's tv, "suspension of disbelief" and all that, but, like, some of this is easily clockable dumb.

WHO IS THIS SHOW FOR?! IT'S SO DUMB BUT IT CANT BE FOR KIDS! I DONT GET IT!

The bad guy. Was just. Standing outside.

WHAT THE FUCK.

Uh...

Whoever CGI'd these paws didn't do great job. Like, the fur is definitely too long, the motion or the paws isn't right, they are the wrong color, and not the right size either.

No sure how they did these shots:

But if they were CG too, - which I'm not convinced they aren't, - why are they so much better than the paws? Wait, they might be real. The guy's shirt is crumpled.

Oh god, they are putting an ARC in this show? WHY?! They don't need that. This isn't some serious show, just make it episodic, damnit! We need more episodic shows in this world! Why won't people make those anymore?

McG...wait...(goes to IMDb)HE WAS AN EXECUTIVE PRODUCER ON SUPERNATURAL FROM 2005 TO 2013?! Hunh. Oh and on Nikita. Explains why Lyndsy Fonseca is in this. I like her. He's done some other stuff I've seen too. Interesting.

I MIGHT watch this just to give myself something to do. But I think watching this gave me a headache.

[sungwanns]

oh wow your fashion sense is like hyuna's?? dude that is so cool! speaking as someone who still dresses like a very lazy emo kid from 2014 so i don't think i can borrow han's clothes even though i'd probably fit them HAHA, that sounds amazing! HAHAHA YES THO pls let us see seungmin in outfits like that! i'm imagining him with all the skin exposure, crazy hair color, and maybe some dangerous-looking boots...i think we'd all lose our minds

HAH true - they need felix for the good stuff! i'd love to taste his cookies/brownies too, and i think i found the recipes for them online but...i can't bake (;・∀・) do you enjoy cooking/baking? ahh and good idea limiting your main merch purchases to just two groups - i can't imagine having...16+ (yes i counted everything you listed) seasons greetings. i like how the groups you like have a ton of variety - do you listen to/follow other artists outside of kpop?

aww you must be too tired to dream of them ( ;∀;) i feel like i have chan's insomnia problems - no matter how tired i am, i never fall asleep quickly i should just move into 3RACHA and hyunjin's dorm since we're all up at 4 AM anyway

ahh thank you - i'm not entirely sure what having libra as my rising sign says about me (besides what the site mentioned) but i'm glad it's good! ♥ okay that's very impressive that you know their moon signs, and that's adorable you and han share the same one! ooh now i'm curious what chan's birth time implies about his personality (≧▽≦)

oh don't worry about replying late - i'm guilty of this as well (case in point, this reply LOL). ahh amigurumi tho!! that's so cute! what animals/creatures have you already made skzoo maybe?? ah, and the hat i made for myself is red (i think i made it for a cosplay? i don't remember anymore). i made it years ago and it's miraculously still alive/i still use it (*´з`) i can't really make stuff like cardigans so hats (heh) off to you! and same - i need youtube as my background when i do anything. when i make graphics, i tend to put a long documentary for background noise or i listen to the same song over and over again. what do you usually listen to when you draw, or do you not listen to anything?

...okay i feel attacked. i'm the same way about my dramas HAHAHA i still haven't watched the last ep of hotel del luna and when i do finish something, i tend to repeat episodes just because i can't let go yet - i did it with hana yori dango/boys over flowers and itazura na kiss/mischevious kiss (you can tell i love my cheesy dramas hahaha). can i just say that you watching one piece just because it's the longest anime ever is kind of amazing? i hope you have time to catch up watching during your winter break!

YES WE NEED A SKZPLAYER COMPILATION as if we haven't given enough money to JYPE yet HAHALKjsdfljk man hyunjuly (proof our birth month is the best HAHAHA) seems so long ago...i almost gave myself a headache yesterday just because i couldn't believe kingdom was just this year. too much has happened! what's your favorite kingdom stage, btw?

oohh the color you picked for the color i give off is really pretty - thank you! i like how it would go great with green (my favorite color), though thinking about it now, that'd make an eggplant (≧▽≦)

ah artist problems. since you use an easel, does that mean you paint too? or you just use that for drawing? also i hope you get a stool or something - standing in the same spot for 3 hours already sucks if you do it for just one day. ooohh zoro changbin tho...okay i'll hunt this down in your blog! now i want to see skz as all the straw hats why am i thinking of hyunjin or minho as nami so i'm manifesting that you get more free time to draw for yourself/for fun more!

HAH okay i find it kinda cool that our favorite albums are really close to each other in release, then we both have noeasy in common !(^^)! you're right tho - their comebacks just keep getting better and better! i'm happy that they're finally getting recognition for them too with all the awards and music show wins. also i'm still amused that christmas evel got a win despite no promotions

awww YESSS their outfits were on point for MAMA! 3RACHA killed it as usual and then there's seungmin's rockstar moment smashing that guitar (≧▽≦) i feel like i need to ask this to everyone i talk about MAMA to, but what did you think of the collaboration intro stage?

- your secret santa ^^

Oh thank you!! I like wearing things that other people don’t haha i think having to wear a uniform for schools from kindergarten through high school gave me an individuality complex LMAO but i know your fashion is great too!! oh my gosh that would be amazing!! Let’s switch styles for a day Min…

Omg so would i!!! I bet he puts so much love and effort into them that you can just taste the love <<3 But i do enjoy baking!! I spent all yesterday making christmas cookies it was a lot of fun!! but my phone is still all dirty from it haha i need to wipe it off!! But thank you haha!! I like all kinds of music and i swear im always getting into a new group😭 xdinary heroes im looking at you but yes i do!! let’s see i really like 5sos, conan gray, i listened to taylor swift growing up so she’s really nostalgic for me ik there’s a mixed consensus on her, one ok rock! i like american girls, start again, & wasted nights by them!!, i like simple plan too haha i’m sure there’s more i cant think of at the moment!!

maybe that’s it im always tired haha ah!! but im sorry to hear that :( but yes totally you could have some of the best conversations with 3racha at 3am im sure of it haha

well libra is ruled by venus so libra risings are known for nice symmetrical faces and well really just being pretty HAHA oh and thank you!! haha what can i say i like to learn about my boys! but knowing chan’s birth time makes him a gemini rising if i remember correctly!!

Oh you didn’t take long at all to respond haha!! ive been so busy finishing up presents and making cookies i just keep losing track of time!! Oh but ive made a bunch of stuff from like a huge jellyfish to a tiny little luffy!! I haven’t made any skzoo but ive been planning on it!! I really wanna make one of those pillows where it’s just the skzoo character’s head but i keep putting it off bc i can’t decide which one i want to start with!!😭 Oh i bet your hat is so cute!! but when im drawing i usually just listen to some music or a podcast!! I really like “This paranormal life” I love paranormal stuff but the hosts crack me up and it’s definitely more comedy based than anything!!

I do the same thing HAHA my brother always makes fun of me for rewatching shows but i just can’t let them go especially when they were already really long ones that i finished… cough supernatural cough… cheesy dramas are great though!! And please youre so sweet??? MWAH MWAH

Right HAHA like we’ve given them sm money but i would give them sm more for the skz players!! And omg it does!! It was so iconic but it feels so long ago and im so rusty with kingdom content 😭 i would probably have to rewatch some of them to get a refresher!!

Yay!! I’m glad you liked it!!! Oh i love green too it’s such a pretty color!! do you have a favorite shade of green? Or like light greens vs dark greens?

I only took drawing classes so i only used the easels for drawing!! they offer painting classes but i didn’t take any!! I’ve tried painting a little bit but i can tend to be a little impatient haha it’s hard for me to wait for the layers to dry!! omg glances at nami figure on my shelf Nami and Usopp are like my favs theyre so funny together!! minho would make an amazing nami!! they have that same sass and like fear element to them seungmin could work too when he’s roasting the other skz members LMAO and hyunjin is also great bc her and usopp are so dramatic when they get scared!! Nami’s birthday is also in july we really are the best!😌

They really do keep getting better! like every comeback im like this is it!! it can’t get better than this!! and then it does!! but i feel the same way!! Like im so glad they’re getting so much love now they deserve it for all their hard work!! omg me too!! like i remember when they got their first win and now they get them for non promoted songs i’m so proud of them :((

Stray kids’ stylist is always doing so well like thank you for constantly serving fits!! yes and seungmin!! And i love how he like jumped into those back up dancers like he was crowd surfing too!! Oh and i loved the intro!! my multi heart loves any collab stages like that!! I would’ve died if they had danced more with each other but i totally get it and i’ll take what i can get!!

Also!! I think your manifestations are working bc i pulled jisung in my christmas evel album!! I was so excited i never really pull him so thank you for your help haha!! :DD

[kokotaro]

Hello there! May I request a scenario for Todoroki Shouto? Him having a sister (which is the reader) and hating her since she resembles Endeavor but she admires him? Later finding out she ran away because she can't stand it anymore? How would Todoroki react? Thanks in advance!!

oho something a little angsty, i like it. this will be from the sister’s pov, both are adults, and shouto is a pro hero!

“Bubby, Bubby!” I called looking up to Shouto. “Guess what!” He didn’t reply. He only gave me a look that, at the time, I didn’t understand. It confused me until he shoved me over and walked away. Tears welled up in my eyes, blurring the image of my older brother casting me away without hesitation. 

“B..Bubby?” 

I woke up with a start, cold sweat running down my forehead as I jolted up in bed. The same feeling resided in my chest just as it did when I was a child. That unwelcoming thing that seeped in and routed itself there only to grow more and more as I grew older. It all came from him.

 All I ever did was admire him, idolize him, and I had voiced it often. At first he used to smile at me and pretend to be the absolute best hero as we’d play pretend. Then our father took him away from me and the rest of my siblings to train him to be better than any other hero. I missed him when that happened and I would try to sneak away from the others to see him. After a while, however, my older brother, my idol, the very person I admired so much and held so dearly to my heart had begun to hate me. I never realized it though. Shouto has always been such a subtle and aloof person that I just assumed something else had been bothering him. Growing up together didn’t necessarily aid the situation either, especially after mom was put in the hospital.

Thinking about my childhood again made the same hot tears begin to form in my eyes. I stared angrily down at my hands that clutched the sheets. These weren’t tears of sadness or regret or even because of the hint of nostalgia that touched my memory-like dream. No. None of that affected me anymore. They were tears of anger, and self hatred, and even confusion. I hadn’t thought about my brother for years. Well, at least I tried not to think about him but with him being on the news every 2.5 seconds it was a little hard to manage. Whenever I did think of him I would always wind up just as I am now. A sniveling, enraged mess.

Looking over to the clock I noticed that my alarm was about to sound. I quickly wiped my face of any pesky tears, reached over, and turned it off before any noise happened. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself down. Emotions were never easy to deal with but at least I coped better than Shouto did. I threw the blankets off of myself to go to the bathroom and when I flicked on the light, I swore I saw a flash of my own father in myself in the mirror. So I stood there staring at my own reflection for an indefinite amount of time. I didn’t just resemble the old man. I looked exactly like him down to every annoying detail. We have the same auburn red hair, bright blue eyes, height (I stand at 5′9), muscular figure. I got his damn quirk too. Stupid Hellflame. I even have most of his personality. I’m stubborn, violent tempered, prideful, and full of resentment. But I don’t hate the fact I’m the Number 2 Hero. I could give less a shit about being a pro hero. I hate the fact that I was pushed away by my own family for years. 

Although, just because I’m mad at Shouto and my dad doesn’t mean I don’t stay in contact with the other siblings. They cared for me when dad was so focused on my brother and my brother pushed me away because of my appearance. They encouraged me to do whatever I wanted to do, to be undeniably me, and to not let the fact that Shouto hates me bother me. I’ve done two of the three things I’ve been told. I’m currently in college working towards getting a degree in biomedical engineering, have a part-time job at a local cafe, happily committed to my significant other, etc. etc. I remind myself daily to just be me no matter what I look like too. 

Sometimes, like today, the feeling that was planted in me so long ago returns and starts to manifest within all over again. I feel it beginning to burn itself into my being. It lurks up to my mind and tells me that I’m just only a product of a man who wanted nothing to do with me. That I’ll never be good enough for anyone else. That my looks are the only thing that define me. And it makes me want to scream into nothing, pull at my auburn red hair, burn things to a crisp, and punch a hole into the damn wall to make it go away. 

My breathing becomes more rugged the more I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself. It turns into the only sound in the room. I bring myself back from the haunting memories and sunken feeling beginning to take over in time to hear my phone. It’s only the notification tone but when I go back to my bed to check it, there’s four more messages attached to the one I heard. Good thing I realized what happened to me before it was too late. I take another deep breath and sit myself down on my messy bed. 

Unknown Number:

Hey.

It’s me. 

Oh. I have come to realize that you must not have my number saved in your phone. 

It’s not surprising though.

It’s Shouto.

I have to read the messages over and over again to understand that this is actually happening. I still haven’t come to terms with the way he treated me and I’m sure as hell I wasn’t even close. He knows this. I know he does. I put a hand to my forehead as I feel a headache coming on and groan softly. So much stress has suddenly put on me from this because he wouldn’t just text me out of the blue to catch up. That isn’t what Shouto does. And I knew that ever since we were little. He’s the type of person that either wants to be around you or he doesn’t. There isn’t any gaps in between seeing him then meeting up again after you haven’t seen him in a while. That’s not who he is. As I sit there and scan over the messages yet again, another one pops up.

Unknown Number:

Please reply. 

Anger begins to bubble up in me all over again and I clutch my phone. If I hadn’t been holding sitting on my bed, holding my phone, in a highly flammable room I would have been covered with infuriated flames by now. Who the fuck does he think he is!? He treats me like shit for more than half of my life and suddenly he wants to talk to me!? I feel hotter by the second and hastily pull my hair up into the worlds worst bun before typing my reply.

Me:

What the fuck do you want?

An immediate response came back. Might as well save the contact while I can then because it doesn’t seem he wants to leave me alone any time soon.

Shouto:

I wanted to say that I’m sorry.

It has been a long time since we last saw each other. And there have been people that came into my life who made me realize certain things.

Like the way I only swore to use my right side.

I didn’t give him a chance to finish and I replied before he could finish typing.

Me:

Why the hell should I care that you’ve figured out you can be better with your left side? A half assed apology and a stupid sob story isn’t going to get anything from me.

I don’t idolize you anymore, Shouto. I don’t care about what you have to say now. You’ve done your damage.

With that I refuse to look at anything else he sends me and toss my phone onto my bed. To keep myself from doing anything stupid, I look out the window and see the sun barely peeking up above the horizon. There are soft looking clouds slowly rolling by above and the sight soothes me almost immediately. 

“Shit.. I’m going to be late if I sit here and stall any longer.” I grumbled to myself before getting up and rushing into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. Good thing my roommate takes night classes and doesn’t come back until the time I have to leave. 

I quickly shower, brush then style my hair, brush my teeth, and wash my face. It feels like a mini reset button because once I step out of the steamy bathroom I begin to feel much better. My hair is put up today which isn’t a normal occasion but I felt like I saw it on my face or in my peripheral vision then I would get pissed off all over again. It’s cute enough though. I throw on the outfit I chose yesterday, grab my bag, keys, and phone then leave. I don’t bother checking my phone until I’m already halfway to class. 

Shouto:

I know that..

And I also know that you aren’t dad.

I’ve come to.. I suppose accept is the right word, what he’s put me through. I still hate him but we’ve talked a lot recently. Now that I’m a hero it seems I’ve grown enough popularity to fulfill his selfish desires, he acts more rationally. He’s told me he even regrets pushing us and abusing mom because he was clouded by greed.

I have to stop reading because it’s hard to believe. Very hard. But some part of me knows that Shouto wouldn’t lie to me despite not having the largest liking to me. A small voice in the back of my mind tells me that I should at least listen. No chances can be given yet but hearing him all the way through wouldn’t be the end of the world. I decide to find somewhere to stop during my walk to class and sit down on a nearby bench to finish reading these messages.

Shouto:

Plus.. He’s not doing well. I won’t go into detail unless you want me to. He’s made me think about how horrible I was to you and the thought won’t leave me alone. I feel so guilty.

I’m so sorry for doing the things I did and making you run away.. That’s never what I wanted for you.

I have to look away from my phone again because so many emotions begin to swirl around in my mind and I chew on my lower lip a bit anxiously. There’s only one message left to read but I hold off for a bit, thinking about dad. If Shouto thinks he isn’t doing well then there must be something really wrong with the old man and I can’t help but begin to feel worried. He was definitely worse than my brother but I guess family is still family and I’ll always have some sort of care for them whether I like them or not. I look back to finish reading.

Shouto:

We’re planning to have a picnic soon, just a day for family and family only. Mom is even allowed out of the hospital for it. Please come, Nemo.

My breath hitches at the last fragment of words and I feel even more emotion come over me. I have to blink away a few tears. There’s no way in hell I’m crying for a third time in one day. I read the nickname again. He hasn’t called me that since I was.. I don’t even know, four? maybe five years old? I can’t believe he even remembered it. I can’t believe that I remember it either. A flash of memories come back and I’m reminded of how I earned that nickname in the first place. There isn’t much to think about though since I was so young but I do know that when being introduced to new people I always grew terribly shy. I shake my head from these memories and make myself reply.

Coming up with a response was harder than I thought and I pursed my lips.

Me:

Oh.

Good job. That’s totally how you should react to this very intense, emotional, and serious situation.

Me:

I can’t say this makes me exactly happy to hear. I kinda still can’t stand you.

Okay now I’m just being mean. Think of something else to say dammit! 

Me:

But I’ll go to the picnic. For mom, for dad, and you guys. I haven’t had much contact since I ran away..

My chest tightens at my last message and I can already see him typing something.

Shouto:

I wasn’t expecting you to reply let alone agree.

This is great.

Then he sends something I didn’t think he’d ever say so quickly.

Shouto:

Are you busy? Can we meet up? I’d like some one-on-one time before the picnic.

I feel my fingertips begin to shake lightly. What am I supposed to do? Here I was, seething with rage not even an hour ago and now I’m already frantically typing out a yes to the very person I thought I hated. I hit send without even knowing it and I almost threw my phone to the ground as if it were on fire. I try to swallow the lump in my throat and recollect myself.

Why did I even say yes? I filled myself with more confusion that Shouto only fueled. Well, looks like I’m skipping class today. Whoops..?

Shouto and I decided to meet up at a bookstore oddly enough. Turns out we both still have a passion for reading just as we did when we were children. I guess I’m the first one of us to show up because after a little scouting through books and the store itself, there’s no sign of him. Then again I may have missed him. He is a hero after all so strolling around in casual clothes may cause too much attention gained. He must be wearing some sort of disguise. I send him a slightly reluctant text telling him where I was and he read it but never replied. Typical. I decided to go to the mystery section to browse for a new book or two. Might as well buy one while I’m here right? Right. I nod to myself as I walk through the silent aisles of books. 

I nearly jump out of my damn skin when someone puts their hand on my shoulder and I have to use every ounce of will in my not to shriek nor burst into flames. The hand retracts abruptly when they feel how tense my body became within an instant and I whirl around, ready to give this shit a piece of my mind but suddenly I’m left with nothing to say. 

The person in front of me is definitely taller than me by three or four inches and even though his hair is covered by a black baseball cap, I can still tell who it is. His eyes are somewhat wide with surprise at my reaction and I even see a soft glimmer. I can’t tell if it’s from the light spilling through the windows or his own reaction to seeing me. He almost looks like he’s about to cry. Those two toned eyes searched my face then moved down my body in an instant. He was analyzing me. I felt my hands clench into fists and his eyes followed quickly. U.A really helped him grow, that much I can tell. My grip tightened on itself. I felt proud for seeing him all grown up and mature (even though I’m younger) but I also felt mad I didn’t get to see the process.

“Don’t do that to me Shouto! I almost set you on fire.” I scolded quietly. He seemed taken aback. 

“Oh.. Sorry. I thought it would have been better than calling out to you.” He replied with an awkward glance to the side, avoiding my scowl.

“It’s.. It’s fine. I don’t care.” My words were more rushed than I intended. “So.. Are we going to talk or just be together as siblings or?” I raised a brow at him. He never specified why he wanted to meet. 

“Both..?” He seemed to not know what he wanted either. “Let’s go.” He stated and grabbed my hand. My first reaction was to pull away and in the middle of doing so, he looked at me. Our eyes locked. He looked like he didn’t understand why I wouldn’t want to be this close at first and I saw the gears turning in his head. Before he could make the connection I swallowed my pride and gripped his hand back. 

“Lead the way, Shouto.” I had no idea where he wanted to go and I was a bit worried to find out but, I trusted him for one reason or another.

In the end, we had an almost childish day together. Both of our childhoods had been heavily suppressed by our father so I paid no mind to the fact that we got ice cream (both double scoops on a cone), got excited about new video games, raced, got into meaningless competitions with our Quirks, and somehow landed at the park. We were sitting on the swings and it was just the two of us. Everyone else had gone home due to the time. The sun was setting and we sat there silently, watching the clouds disappearing while different hues of orange, red, and even pink painted the sky. There was a soft purple towards the end of the sunset too. I turned to Shouto and chewed on my lip momentarily. He was still staring at the sky and I couldn’t bring myself to disturb him. As I turned back he sighed. 

“So..” He muttered.

“So.” I mimicked. “Is this the part where we get serious?” I asked. He nodded. “Alright.” 

“I know that it was just as hard on you as it was on me when we were growing up.” He pulled off his hat. A breeze blew passed us and his two toned hair moved with it, as did my auburn red hair. “I said it once but I don’t think no matter how many times I apologize it won’t change the past. It won’t change the way I disregarded you completely because you took so much after the old man too well.” He spoke gently. It sounded like if he talked too loudly then his voice would shake. This is harder on him admitting than I thought it would be. Guilt crept up on me for doubting his genuineness. “But even so.. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He put a hand to his face. “I love all of you so much. I wanted to protect you all from him the most. I didn’t care about becoming a hero at all. I just.. I wanted you all to be spared from what he always put me through.” His voice cracked. 

I had no words to say. I wanted to forgive him from the sheer sincerity but the grudge I had wouldn’t let up so easily. I looked back to him again and the sight broke my heart within an instant. I never thought I would see Shouto in such a state of.. I wouldn’t even know how to describe what I saw. It looked like regret, guilt, frustration, unhappiness, and anything in between. A tear ran down his cheek and glinted in the light the sun still gave off. His jaw tensed as his free hand gripped the chain of the swing. He started to apologize over and over.

I jumped off the swing and crouched in front of him before I even knew what I was doing. My body had just moved on its own. I brushed this aside and focused on him. I reached and grabbed both of his hands. He seemed surprised by this. I was too but I didn’t let it show. My right thumb stroked the back of his hand. 

“I didn’t think you felt this way.” I said softly. He froze. “I.. Spent a long time building up this grudge against you when I really shouldn’t have. Right now it’s not necessarily easy to forget what happened when we were younger..” He looked hurt. “But.” His eyebrows rose slowly. “Today has proven to me I can start a process to forgive you.” I gave him a sweet smile. “And hearing how sincere you are not only about me, but about all of us, makes me think you’ve really changed.” I gave his hands a squeeze. He squeezed mine back right after. “I’m happy we can be siblings again, Bubby.”

This seemed to push Shouto over the edge because even more tears tumbled down his cheeks and I could tell I struck a chord in him with the use of his old nickname, just as he had done to me earlier that day. He hopped off the swing to get down on his knees and right when I opened my mouth to ask what he was doing, his arms were embracing me. My eyes widened as I stared at the now dark sky behind him. Slowly, my arms moved to be wrapped around him too. 

“I love you, Bubby.”

“I love you too, Nemo.”