#i cannot bring myself to post this anywhere but here

[messiahzzz]

You’re one of the most annoying people on this site. And that really says A LOT because WOW! Shut the Fuck up about Gale wanting to be a father or not. He never says that he doesn’t want to be one. You projecting things onto him doesn’t make it Canon.

on a serious note: i’m certainly not the one that continuously brings up this topic unprompted. i personally really don’t understand the entire controversy around the topic or why fandom feels the need to rehash this conversation almost weekly. i truly believe that there’s nothing more of value to learn from it, to address, or add to it… yet fandom won’t let it rest.

to once again clarify: what i mean by “gale wanting to be a father isn’t canon” is that there is no evidence/neither hints anywhere in any of the dialogue that support the contrary. characters like h*lsin, w*ll and la*’zel have entire adoption subplots. all of them mention their children explicitly during the epilogue:

narrator: *your soul warms thinking of lily aurora ravengard, your adopted daughter. a treasure of a girl, found at the entrance of the open hand temple - one grey eye, one brown.* w*ll: ah, the girl could melt the staunchest heart. she might even have brought a smile to old withers' face! w*ll: but tonight is for us - and lily's only four months of age, besides. i promise, the temple will keep her in good care.

player: and our little hatchling? is he safe? la*'zel: of course. i have complete trust in our newest allies. xan is in fine hands tonight. la*'zel: what a wonder he is. he will be a fine warrior, if he chooses. or a poet, or an explorer, or a scholar.

h*lsin: being away from it... i cannot help but worry how they will fare in our absence. player: we'll be back before they know it. h*lsin: i hope so. the children shall miss their bedtime tale tonight - though perhaps i can glean a few new stories from our friends here, to make up for it.

even shad*wh*art has a line where she briefly mentions that children might be a possibility for her in the future.

shad*wh*art: and i get to see my parents almost every day - i need to make every moment with them count, after so much was stolen from us. but they're doing well, [...] shad*wh*art: who knows? perhaps they'll have grandchildren before long.

gale in comparison? he has none of that. he remains childfree during the entirety of the game + epilogue. in fact, his line in the epilogue that addresses the topic of grandkids is this one:

tara: this is why mrs. dekarios and i will be waiting an eternity more for grandchildren. nodecontext: self-pitying gale: psst! shoo, tara. nodecontext: shooing away tara like one would a naughty cat.

i already wrote a post about this entire discourse here [x] but to repeat myself once more: all of the dialogue that vaguely addresses the topic of children in any way in regards to gale are these snippets

player: gale… how would you feel about having another person in our relationship? gale: what, like a child? i’m not quite sure i’d consider myself father material, plus our current lifestyle isn’t exactly what i’d call settled…

gale, upon spotting oliver during their game of hide and seek: ah, i have you! just a shame i don’t want you.

gale treating the children the group comes across with respect isn’t an indicator either. this is a courtesy gale extends to everyone he meets. he’s a character that approves of a protagonist who systematically commits good deeds. whether it’s sparing animals, helping without compensation in mind, or aiding children. wanting children to be cared for… and you know… for them not to die is common etiquette that every adult should extend to a child in need. those are not “dad goals!!!” it’s quite literally just basic human decency. gale is genuinely kind and caring to everyone he meets, there is no reason why this also wouldn’t apply to children.

i often see fandom mention his encounter with mol at last light and how excited he is to talk to her. which i think greatly misinterprets the context of the scenario since he didn’t have much of a reaction to mol before either — gale is ecstatic about lanceboard. again evident by his reaction to the party finding the life-sized board during the wyrmway trials, and how he immediately offers to give tav pointers. explaining different approaches to them in enthusiastic detail if they allow him to. the man just really likes lanceboard… as well as being the smartest person in the room.

gale: ah, lanceboard! why, this might just be the highlight of our misadventures to date.

gale: lanceboard happens to be a game with which i have more than a passing familiarity. might i offer a suggestion? nodecontext: gale's a badass lanceboard player, anticipating showing off

if you want to headcanon your tav and gale raising a big family together that is more than fine and no one is stopping you. whatever you want to happen to these two after the storyline of the game is up to your respective fantasies. no one is policing you on what you should do with your own character. go wild and create whatever fan content you wish, no justification required.

yet once again, as there is no mention in canon anywhere — neither in the main game nor the epilogue — that this is something gale would ever want (whether that may mean immediately or somewhere down the line) gale wanting to be a father remains a headcanon. while gale being childfree is explicitly shown in the game, in strict comparison to other companions that either have children by the end of the game or voice the desire to (eventually) have them.

my personal preferences are of no relevance here whatsoever. i care about accurate and correct characterization and will point out inconsistencies/false information no matter the topic. i, for one, want to appreciate these characters in the way they're written, not how i ideally want them to be.

[bubblyartisticart]

i thought maybe tumblr might like this.... uhm... i have no excuse

[sgiandubh]

On leadership

This is a personal comment on @luhafraser's last post, where she wrote, in plain English:

'But I can't help but notice that since I joined this fandom, what we have in all the groups in this fandom are "leaders", they come and go, new ones appear, or reinvent themselves. There are people that stand out and lead others to follow their ideas and statements. It is these people that receive information, have sources, receive pics, and are fed by "anonymous" (Sorry, but a lot of things that have already appeared could only have come from someone "inside"). I know we are all adults, but there are those who know how to influence or who are led to be influencers, there are those who understand that and there are those who don't.'

Dear @luhafraser,

You wrote a couple of things with great confidence, as you usually do, and I feel I have to say something,

I have invited you already to name names, not allude to persons in your posts, as you so transparently seem to be doing right now. So yes, I felt looked upon and judged. By you (and not only you). Since Day 1. You thought I was never going to respond, well - you were wrong. The day has come and the day is now.

Dear @luhafraser, while I do immensely appreciate your real qualities (intelligence, humor, sleuthing, etc.), I am less a fan of this kind of little games, both in public and behind the scenes. My sudden apparition seems to have bothered you, with Anons asking you (June 20, 2023) if I was really a new person joining in and you denying it without taking the time to talk to me:

This is simply not done, my dear. I have openly and transparently engaged with people since Day 1 and never lied about my own circumstances. Your answer started a flurry of speculation that kept people interested all summer long and forced me to dox myself. So kindly prove me and all the others I am not a newbie (something completely impossible to do), do it in public and own the things you post in here.

I am not a leader of anything, @luhafraser , and I have no wish to be regarded as such. Ever. I have learned, in 20 years of my high-level public service career, that being the boss corrupts and exposes. But yes, I did want to be a disruptively positive voice in what I felt to be an intimidated community. I wanted to bring more clarity and all those research skills to all of you. I wanted honesty. And I, above anything else, wanted to help. And I am sorry that people agreeing or liking what I post seems to bother you. It is not something I can help you with. It is what it is. There is a place for all our voices to be heard in here. Every single one of them.

I have no inside information on SC and never did. I have not betrayed anything that was shared with me in DMs and only posted things when adamantly asked to do so, after careful vetting and only from people I knew. However I am a hell of a bloodhound when I am set to find something and I am rather good at what I do, also in real life. I also know when to stop and will never share things that would be legally questionable. It would expose us and it is a risk simply not worth taking.

I am not here for clicks and likes. My block list is three or four times bigger than my dash. I do not care for fame, but I do care for a couple of trusted people that became real friends. It is for them and for them only that I am not giving you satisfaction and quit.

I keep my promises. I will not go anywhere. If you do not like what I write, please unfollow and block immediately - this goes for anyone that feels bothered about me being here, in any way. I have no wish to start a war with any of you - that would make Mordor glee with joy for months. But please do me and yourself a favor: if in doubt, go now. I cannot stand duplicity, never could.

I hope that sets the record straight. Believe it or not, I have no hostility towards you. Not a single ounce.

I am not expecting an answer.

[Later edit;] I am glad I doxed myself. Very glad. But that is another story.

[mysticficti0n]

All my Attention part 3

warnings- swearing, mentions of a dildo, sexual tension, kissing, quite fluffy

words- 3.1k

If you'd like to read the previous parts → All my attention series

a/n- so if you're new here I am British and cannot speak any German, I speak a little French, Spanish and Italian but German- no. I also do not trust Google translate so this is gonna be like an avatar thing (if you've seen the newest one Jake says that their language just became normal or something along those lines) so in reality this is all in German, you as a reader know German but, its wrote in English... make sense? no... well, sorry this part has taken a while- I'm on holiday atm so I probably wont be posting till I'm home BUT I didn't want you to be without, also fucking thank you all so much for the response to the first and second part! I can't believe the response to it, I could've cried because im a baby , love you all 🤍

(also to the people who've sent requests they will be coming soon!)

┍━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━┑

backstory- you are the 5th member of Tokio Hotel and you always thought the love was equally platonic between you and a certain guitarist... but what if that all changed?

"exactly what I said- we can't keep doing the same thing at every show" Georg spoke shovelling eggs into his mouth, the band and our runners, managers, directors, and everyone else who I didn't know exactly what they did for us... were all sat on tables eating breakfast before rehearsal "because I'm sorry if we go on tour I wont wanna blow my brain out because i'm playing by your side for the millionth time"

"yeah but there's a thing called a set list, we have to stick with it otherwise" Bill leaned closer into the table facing all of us "otherwise we'd get shit and we all know how Felix will react- we all remember last time" he had a point, Felix as nice as he can act is a massive cock, once in a performance we decided to all go to the front of that stage to say goodnight- but Felix didn't like that and he ended up cancelling our next 3 shows to 'teach us a lesson'

"even so" the bassist grumbled, the conversation fell short as we all continued to eat, I had a bowl of granola, greek yogurt, raspberries and strawberries, soon the scrapping of a chair pulled me from eating my breakfast, I looked up to see Tom in a huge black shirt and basketball shorts "hungry?" Georg joked seeing the pile of food on his friends plate

"a bit" Tom laughed grabbing part of a waffle "whats that?" he spoke looking at me, that was the first time he spoke to me since what happened only an hour before, I think we were both in a shock state still, but I also couldn't deny how good it felt

"granola, yogurt and fruit" I spoke back digging my spoon into the mix and pulling it back so he could have a taste, he bent forward taking the food and hummed

"Tha actuwally gwood" he spoke mouth still full

"ew Thomas swallow for fucks sake!" I spat seeing him nearly choke the food back up "Tom!" I called pushing myself away from the table "whats wrong with you" I laughed I look to see the rest of the boys laughing as well at his stupidity

"we can't go anywhere nice with you two" Bill commented throwing a napkin to his brother who wiped his mouth and finished his laugh

"sorry- I don't know why that was so funny to hear you say" he snorted, I finally sat back in my place next to Gustav who was eating his food with a smile

"all I said was swallow your food" I argued back looking at the guitarist

"normally me saying that to girls-" I rolled my eyes at his words but everyone else chuckled along, after another half an hour (mostly so Tom could finish his monstrous plate) we were bringing our bags down from the hotel room to put in the bus, we all got in the lift which I don't think was made for 5 people, and 2 of those 5 being over six foot tall

"can you move over I can't fucking breath" I spoke shoving Bill back bit

"now I can't breath you cunt!" Bill called back pushing me back laughing, soon the intercom spoke and the doors opened and I made my way out but was soon tackled by the black haired singer

"BILL WHAT THE FUCK" I shouted with a laugh, I crawled from his grip and began running away seeing him get up to and following my movement "AHHH!" I screamed turning a corner and then slipping past a cleaner cart

"Y/N COME HERE!" I herd Tom voice shout as I sprinted to him with his twin hot on my tail, I watched him open his hotel room and I ran as quick as I could into it and slammed the door spitting out a chuckle hearing the boy hit the door

"BITCH!" Bill sang followed by his own laugh and steps faded away from the door, I sat on Tom's bed and lay my head back into the sheets catching my breath hearing the door open again

"you good now?" He asked smiling at me "I didn't realise you were that fast- I swear you weren't when we were kids"

"excuse me! people change" I answered kicking him slightly, he grabbed my ankle stopping me from moving anymore- I melted at his touch which wasn't a usual thing

"mhm, you changed in a good way babe don't worry about it" he flirted looking down at me the smile changing into a smirk

"you're in a very odd mood today mr Kaulitz" I spoke sitting myself as he let go of my ankle

"only for you-" he leant down, pressing his head on mine "and if I remember properly, who moaned when we kissed earlier? hum?" his hand was now resting on the base of my neck "who was it Y/n?"

"I don't know Tom" I answered seeing him bite his lip at my words "maybe you imagined it?" we always played around, flirting but this was different... very different

"I have a fucking good imagination then don't I?" Tom pulled away slightly, his his fingers brushed my skin as he let go and he held my chin, lifting my face to look up to him "....I prefer looking at you like this" I blushed at his words, they made me feel soft

"bet you say that to all the girls" he seethed rolling his eyes

"only the special ones...and you're really special!"

"way to ruin a mood" I huffed

"I'm joking Y/n/n, you just look hot below me ts'all" his hand held me tighter and he bent to reach my lips, he pressed hard humming into the feeling and sucked my bottom lip causing me to have to hold back any noise I threatened to make as I didn't want a repeat of earlier "I better get packing" he spoke pulling back creasing my cheek with his thumb leaving me with a unfulfilled feeling

"yeah.." I pouted, he looked back down at me and grinned

"god don't look at me like that... fuck- stop now, I've gotta pack" I stood with him as he turned to grab a tossed shirt from the floor, his hand glided down my thigh leaving a trail of goosebumps- he knew what he was doing, making me blush and shudder as his hand left me "oopsie"

┍━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━┑

we all sat backstage kicking our heals as the crowd arrived, but we also knew the crowd was special- our families were watching us tonight, I decided I'd wear a more appropriate outfit (not like my family hadn't seen pictures of me in mini-skirts and tube tops saying 'pouty') I looked alot like Tom, my baggy jeans hanging around my hips with a matching tank top to him "5 minuets!" a runner called making us all rise from our places

"excited?" Georg smiled shoving me lightly

"I can't wait" I spoke pinning around to the music that began, Bill looked back at me with a smile followed by a wink

"3...2...1" Felix called and Tom, Bill entered the stage erring a eruption from the crowd "go!" Georg and I walked on and smiled seeing the sea of fans watching us with grins plastering their faces and finally Gustav entered

"GOOD EVENING TRIER" Bill called holding the mic close "ARE YOU EXCITED!" though the lights were blinding I could make out the shapes of bodies from my place "ugh we have a show n' a half for you all tonight, and this show is very special to us- one, this is our last show here in the lovely Trier and- most importantly our biggest fans are here tonight" the lights moved to the box above the crowd and for the first time in weeks I saw them: mom, dad, Stella, the Kaulitz, Listing and Schäfer family, I nearly cried waving to them and blowing them kisses "so tonight is going to be the best show we've ever done guys! ARE YOU READY" I watched as my family cheered and little Stella clapped her hands. Tom's guitar began the start of Scream followed by Gustav and Bill ran back to main stage, the crowd danced and jumped along "SCREAM" they called back to us at every chorus making me laugh.

The night carried on and everything was going amazingly, and it came time for me to take centre stage, I brought my mic and herd people call my name "so- this is our newest piece of music, I originally wrote when I was in a very bad place, and as you all know I'm back up singer so usually I don't perform up here- so close to everyone so I'm a little nervous but.. but it means a lot to me so.. this is 'please don't jump'" claps filled the room and Tom joined me giving me a nod as he plucked away followed by Gustav and Georg, Bill was in the corner sipping a water watching me like a proud dad

I let my self get lost in the music, stomping my feet and twirling around "don't let memories go! of me and you" I sang watching my family stare in awe, I began up stage onto the platform where I stood teetering on the edge, all lights went off besides the one on me "PLEASE DON'T JUMP! DON'T JUMP, AND IF ALL THAT CAN'T HOLD YOU BACK, THEN I'LL JUMP FOR YOU" I finished bowing to the crowd who burst out with claps, screams and calls making me jump at the sudden noise

"Y/N Y/N Y/N!" people began to chant making me well up, Gustav ran up the platform steps holding my hand gently so I could get down the steps as it was tricky in platforms, hand in hand we met with Tom who smiled widely mouthing 'they're proud' I looked to see my mom whistling, soon the five of us stood at the tip of that walkway, people reached for us, calling us all over

"THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT!" we all shouted bowing once more as the light darkened, we all walked off and back to our room where there were drinks set out and towel "shit Im so thirsty" Georg spoke grabbing the bottle and cracking it open as we all took our first proper breath and relaxed

"erm- sorry I know you got off stage but someones hear" Gayle, my runner spoke holding the door open a little more

"BABA!" a small voice called, I looked down to see Stella dressed in a Tokio Hotel shirt and orange leggings running toward me, her blonde hair tied into piggy tails

"STELLA!" I cried falling to my knees pulling her into my arms "oh my god I missed you so much" I whispered into her neck, her bright eyes looked into mine and I couldn't let go of her, I pressed kisses to her chubby cheeks

"Oh my- Y/n dear! another voice came in and I snapped my head to see my mother, tear stained face reaching for me, I watched as Stella ran onto Gustav who picked her up hugging her tightly and I ran to my mom who was closely followed by the rest of our families "sunshine I missed you!"

"I missed you too mom" I cried as she stroked my hair away from my face, she let go and I turned to see my dad who had Tom in a bro-hug

"aww hello Poppy!" he spoke, I nearly fell apart hearing my nickname again, and he grabbed me into the hug "aw that was amazing kids" he spoke letting go of us, I stood speaking with them until I herd the voice of my sister

"Tommy!" she laughed and everyones faces snapped to her

"SHE SAID MY NAME!" The dreadheaded boy called lifting her into his arms and tickling her "ME BEFORE BILL!" he danced seeing her smile

"Hey! Stella I thought you liked me more!" Bill huffed squishing the cheeks of her face

"am I the better twin?...yeah! I know" Tom scoffed bouncing her on his hip, our families laughed and all began hugging each other

"darlings that show was fantastic and the crowd! I couldn't believe it" Simone, the twins mom smiled "I couldn't be more proud"

"thanks mom" Bill hugged pressing a kiss to her cheek "wait..erm hold on!" we all watched as the singer ran out calling for something, I turned to see Stella smiling and reaching for all the boys, Tom, Georg and Gustav were sat on the floor singing songs and twirling her around, the song finished and Stella did a bow making the boys laugh at her antics

"Baba!" the little blonde called reaching for me, Tom realised and quickly scooped her up so she was lying on her tummy with her arms out she began airplane sounds (but kept interrupting herself with her chuckles) "Brrrrrrrrr!" she grinned showing her two small teeth

"aww my baby airplane" I spoke reaching for her as Tom got closer, the two reached me and I took my sister from his arms spinning her while pressing a kiss to her cheek again "you're a very cute plane Stella"

"Plane!" she repeated getting a 'yeah a plane' from the guitarist who couldn't stop smiling

"Okay... everyone come stand over here were getting a photo!" Bill came back in grabbing his family, the line up was the Kaulitz' far left, then my family the Y/l/n's, then the Schäfer's and finally Listing's "We want a few!" Bill called to the person holding the camera

"1...2....3" everyone did a wide smile, even Stella knew what was going on "perfect, do you want another one of these then we can do different stuff like.. the point?" its like a lightbulb went off it the taller twins head

"okay yes... then the point, then serious faces, then one with us 5 a bit more infront of our families, then on chairs" he rambles while setting us all back out for the next 3000 photo's we'd be taking

I don't think I've ever herd the numbers 1,2 and 3 said so much in my life but after half an hour the pictures were finally done and in fairness they looked great "well we best get going" Christine, Georg's mom spoke grabbing her bag

"oh.." we began before Simone whispered something to her husband

"why don't you all come stay round ours? we can have a family night, drinks, games, food" me and the band cheered, quickly grabbing our stuff and getting ready to walk out- we knew that today being a day show, fans would be waiting for us- we decided the safest option was to give our families over to security along with our bags and walk out on our own

"okay Stella we'll see you in a little while okay?" I hugged her once more before giving her over to dad who was carrying her out, we waited till we knew they were in their cars and I came the time we'd be walking out, with one last check of the room we began outside, screams filled our ears, people threw flowers to us, cards, papers and... thongs- but we picked the flowers up. a few people grabbed at my clothing but besides that it was a safe 3 minuet walk from the building to the bus

"they were loud" Gustav spoke getting into his favourite seat, at the very back on the left "Georg come sit!" he called to the bassist who jumped through the seats, leaving Bill who liked sitting in the front then me and Tom sat in the middle two seats

"god I fucking loved that show" I spoke belting myself in, Tom did the same and our hands brushed- its not something that many would really worry about, it was an accident.. but I could help go hot at the feeling

"it was so good, I feel like we'll be in Felix's good books" the dreaded boy spoke getting a nod from the band, we finally began the drive home, it would only take around an hour and a half so I got myself comfy which meant me resting my legs over Tom- this was a normal thing as usually sometime around the trip we'd switch and I can accidentally put my cold drink on his legs while he's asleep definitely not making him yelp- no not at all...

"can you take my shoes off, you're closer" I spoke tapping his shoulder and with a huff he began unlacing the platforms, I sighed at the feeling of my feet going light and not having to lug those shoes around any more "thanks bab" I called leaning my head back, Tom got comfy to, scooting deeper into the seat and his hands lay on my legs drawing small shapes and humming a long to whatever song was on the radio

"wanna know something crazy?" He asked looking over at me to which I nodded "I haven't fucked a girl since Tuesday, and its Friday now" I pretend to be shocked, slapping my hands to my face

"holy shit! that is crazy!" he rolled his eyes "I can't even remember when I last fucked someone- probably around my birthday" I sighed slightly annoyed, not that I'm some sex freak who needs to be constantly fucked to live but... my birthday is in February and its now July

"damn... how do you go that long?" Georg spoke uncrossing his arms, being genuinely interested

"Notta clue... I-"

"Y/n I know whats in the back draw in your room" Bill turned showing a sinister smile

"Bill!" I called knowing exactly what he was on about

"ooo" the boys cooed making me go red, Bill laughed even harder pointing at my face "aww! she's embarrassed about her dil-"

"BILL SHUT IT!" I shouted flinging my empty water bottle at him making him cackle throwing his pillow at me

"IT'S BLACK!" He called and the 4 boys Burt out laughing again spluttering words and coughing at how much they were laughing

"oh my god you are all dicks!" I groaned trying to push myself as far back into my seat as I could, I even took my legs down from Tom who I could realised but I was way to embarrassed to give him a 'look'

┍━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━┑

"he traffic isn't moving so were going to be a little later to the Kaulitz" Gregory our driver spoke facing us

"ugh" we all collectively sighed, its been over 30 minuets of just stand-still traffic, cars horns went off but nothing was moving and being a warm day in a quite packed van it was getting hot

we'd moved past the dildo conversation thanks to Tom who made a fool of himself by spilling water all down his shirt- I did wonder though, was it on purpose? to take away the attention from me... but anyways whatever it was, or even just it was an accident- my legs were back on his and he continued to draw little shapes

"I'm going to sleep" Bill spoke looking back to which we gave a nod, by we I mean me and Tom as the other two fell asleep a few minuets back, the van sound turned quiet as the radio was turned off

"wanna play a game?" Tom spoke quietly

"sure, which game?" I asked seeing a little grin appear to his face

"erm... eye spy?"

[lestappenforever]

Unpopular opinion here but we should all just chill. It is not good to post that question but the level of panic and accusation is out of proportion imo.

AO3 has been around more than a decade (and probably be older than some of us). RPS is so huge that literally any celebrities have been shipped. It was hardly the first time AO3 was mentioned to a celebrity.

Honestly I dont think straight guys care about fandom. Even if someone tells them at their faces about AO3, they may find it weird and forget about it five minutes later. They are more interested in checking out hot chicks’ instagram or making dirty jokes with their mates, than searching fan fic featuring him with another guy.

And more importantly, those F1 admins are well aware of fandom and highly likely have tumblr/AO3 account (come on how many times they mentioned lestappen?) It is not new information to them that AO3 exists. If they have not mentioned fan fic to the drivers before, I dont see any reason they would mention it just because of that one comment.

Do I think fandom should keep among ourselves and not bring it in front of the real persons? Yes

Do i think we should all be in panic mode and police other people? Not really

Hi anon! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. ❤️

I personally don't agree that we "should all just chill" at all, and the reason for this is that I have personally - as have so many other people - seen this go wrong so many times in the past with different fandoms. If certain (loud) people in the fandom are unable or unwilling to respect the boundaries between real people and the fandom, then this can cause serious issues for the fandom in general, and the real people involved.

Not only that, not shoving these parts of fandom down the throats of the real people involved is simply just a matter of respect. These guys, straight or not, probably have no interest whatsoever in reading about or seeing things that involve them doing weird shit to their friends or colleagues. And therefore, nobody should try to make them get involved with these types of things. If they are interested in or curious about these things, they'll go looking for things themselves, without needing the involvement of fans.

Imagine you had someone try to force you to watch or read porn involving yourself and someone else you definitely have no romantic or sexual feelings for whatsoever. Or somebody trying to force you into engaging with a kink that you have serious issues with and makes you incredibly uncomfortable just to think about. Now, I'm a pretty easygoing person and would personally find it hilarious if somebody wrote explicit fanfictions about myself and one of my friends. But I'm also very much aware of the fact that that's just me. But then on the other hand, I also get seriously uncomfortable with certain tropes or kinks for different reasons, and if somebody pestered me about those things? I would fucking hate it.

We have no idea about these drivers' sexualities, what their boundaries are, or what they can or cannot stand, and therefore, we should all respect the boundaries between fandom and the real people involved, and do what we can to keep these things separate.

Although I definitely agree with you about not thinking the drivers caring about those parts of fandom now, if the people who are unable or unwilling to understand the importance of boundaries keep being insufferable and loud about it, which too many people are being on social media already, then there is a serious risk that not only are they going to start caring, but they're going to start feeling uncomfortable with it all and let it impact the way they're acting around other drivers. Despite the fact that I don't think we're anywhere near that point yet, if people don't stop doing what they're doing and stop trying to shove those parts of fandom into the real people's faces, then there is a serious risk that we will end up reaching that point. And it's not going to be fun for anyone.

It's happened before, several times, and it can definitely happen again. And it always starts with what we're seeing in the F1 fandom right now.

It's not about "policing other people" at all, it's about trying to get those people in the fandom to understand why what they're doing is a bad idea, and why it's disrespecting boundaries that should be respected at all times. The majority of these fans are likely quite young and new to fandom in general, and I do believe it's a good idea that they get told, in no uncertain terms, that what they're doing can potentially cause some serious issues and personally impact the people they're fans of in a negative way, and why they shouldn't be doing it. Honestly, it's the only way they're going to learn. Hell, it's the only way any of us learned.

We've all been new to fandom at some point, and doing and saying things without thinking about the potential future impact in the beginning is definitely not an uncommon thing.

So I think the response we've seen to these comments on RBR's recent Tiktok video is absolutely justified, because there are so many of us who have seen it go so very, very wrong in the past, and we don't want to see it go this wrong again.

[punemy-spotted]

A Worthy Grave - Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - The Dead Become the Emperors of Memory

Pairing: Federal Agent!Ari Levinson x Witch!Reader

Masterlist; Chapter 1; Chapter 2

Pairing: Federal Agent!Ari Levinson x Witch!Reader

Warnings: THIS IS STILL A HORROR FIC; A Whole Lot of Body Horror; Blood and Gore; Harm to an Animal; Gruesome Murder; Religious Iconography; Straight up Heresy; Christ Imagery; Gruesome Descriptions of Organs; Ghosts; Ghouls; Violence Against Women; Discussion of Grief; Witchcraft; Blood; I Cannot Articulate Enough That This is a HORROR Fic; Dead Dove: Do Not Eat; Seriously so so dead, HEED THE WARNINGS

PLEASE REMEMBER THAT YOUR CONSUMPTION OF MEDIA IS YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITY AND IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE CONTENT THAT IS BEING PRESENTED, PLEASE DO NOT READ

Chapter Summary: Death was not supposed to visit you in the one place you spent your day speakin’ for it, carvin’ answers out of flesh and bone.

Notes: So yes it took me 84 years to update and I'm SORRY. Please take this update as an apology. (also yes this was on Ao3 ages ago… depression’s a bitch, y’all.)

I cannot emphasize enough that this is a horror fic so things are going to get gory going forward. PLEASE read at your own discretion, I'm begging you.

As always, I crave feedback so please let me know your thoughts! Have questions about the lore? Let me know about those too! As a reminder, reblogging fics supports authors so please let me know you want more by liking AND reblogging!

All of my work is 18+ Only, Minors DO NOT INTERACT. I do not consent to my work being posted anywhere besides Tumblr or Ao3 and I post my work there myself. Do not copy, translate, or repost any of my content.

The next morning comes with lab results and Ari Levinson bringing you coffee, bright and early.

Good coffee, too, which you note with amusement the moment you take a sip, You convince Janice to upgrade the beans?

Pretty sure she’d tell me asking wasn’t even on the budget. I went to Jed’s.

You go to his restaurant or his house?

You’re teasing him — which you’ll admit is new for you, especially with Ari fuckin’ Levinson standin’ in front of you, sipping coffee and enjoying one of Jed’s famous breakfast sandwhiches — but considerin’ your couch an’ the fact that he slept on it night before last, it’s not like you’re unjustified, is it? A fact which he, to his credit, takes in stride, taking a smug sip of coffee — if such a thing were possible, it would be Levinson to pull it off — and shrugging, Showin’ up unannounced at the ass-crack of dawn’s a privilege I reserve for you, Doc.

You roll your eyes, hide your smile behind the lip of your coffee cup, Just cuz you spent the night on my couch don’t mean I’m gonna be any nicer to you, Levinson.

Shit, Doc, you start bein’ nice to me and I might swoon here and now.

You’d refuse to admit it if he or anyone else asked you to, but that makes you laugh, hidden behind a huff that could be annoyance or amusement, Hope you ain’t expectin’ me to catch you, Levinson.

I learned my lesson last time the Chief tried makin’ us do trust exercises.

Not my fault you didn’t warn me.

He shrugs, you roll your eyes, turning back to the computer as it dings with a message for you to review, You better have ordered me a sandwich too, or I’m bannin’ you from my biscuits for the foreseeable future.

That’s for you to find out in the lunchroom, Doc.

Where the hell’s your apple butter?

In a twist of fate you will not be thankin’ anyone for — least of all Ari Levinson — there is a sandwich waiting for you in the breakroom fridge, labeled and everythin’. You pop it into the toaster oven like you always do with Jed’s takeaway, pouring yourself a glass of sweet tea and taking the time you deserve for yourself an’ your lunch break, having taken great care to make sure there’s not an ounce of paperwork or results to review while you sip tea an’ enjoy a meal to the sound of blessed silence.

Most of the office would be done with their lunches by now, or eatin’ at their desks to avoid traffic in the break room. ‘Course, with your lab, the idea of eatin’ a meal with a frozen corpse in the next room waitin’ for you to finish rummagin’ around in its guts did not whet the appetite.

Least the break room don’t smell like formaldehyde all the time.

So you take your vigil here, disappearing into your thoughts and the quiet joy of pastrami on rye.

Until Ari Levinson, like a bloodhound sensin’ the exact moment you find silence in your life and choosin’ to hunt it down, comes strollin’ in, See you found the sandwich, Doc.

You might’ve been grateful you’d already finished your meal, just sippin’ tea by the time he came by, but you’re already missin’ silence and there’s a good fifteen minutes left before you need to clock back in an’ pretend you’re comfortable ‘round grieving parents, so you’d thank him to forgive you for lookin’ like he made you swallow a lemon. Whole. You bribin’ me with a sandwich to keep talkin’ to you, Levinson?

Is it working?

You open your mouth, poised to continue the time-honored tradition of tradin’ barbs with him, sarcastic quip ready to fly from your tongue, when you see her. Standin’ there in all her spectral glory, mouth open wide in a static scream of horror an’ fury, a livid necklace of purple bruises blooming around her throat, hollow eyes trained on you.

And Ari Levinson, goddamn him and his goddamn training, notices. Notices. Watches you. Makes silent note of how your mouth snaps shut, how your lips fold into a grim line and follows the trajectory of your gaze with a turn of his head, watchin’ the hallway behind him.

Hey Doc, he calls back to you, voice as level as he can probably manage it.

Yeah? You make a valiant effort at doing the same, refusin’ to take your eyes off the specter once known as Jane Doe #117.

I’m assuming you see her?

Sure do, Levinson.

There’s a pause, a moment, Ari’s hands slowly reaching for the gun at his holster and you slowly reaching a hand out to stop him, ears ringing as you try to make sense of the radio static pouring from that endless scream, your daddy’s lessons servin’ you well. Run.

A beat.

Then—Levinson, I need you to get security over to the lab.

The look he fires back at you is pure confusion, hand still poised over his gun and you know in your bones the only reason Jane Doe #117 hasn’t moved is cuz you’ve got eyes on her right now.

Bad deaths. The humanity is rotting out of her by the second, an’ no amount of cornbread offerings an’ promises to do our best are gonna keep her from lashin’ out at the humanity she’s lost, not ‘til the person who took it from her is found and named. Named for her to haunt until they too, turn to rot.

But you don’t got time to think about that right now, not when Ari’s already arguing with you ‘bout leavin’ you alone with an eyeless, bloodless, ghost. Or haint, you ain’t sure what he’ll call it—Doc, I know—

I know I didn’t stutter, Levinson. Security. Lab. Now.

It’s already too late.

Jon Doe #43 is less pleasant lookin’ than the girl whose ID he had hidden inside his flayed jaw — the girl whose radio static warning is still ringing in your ears as you take in the sight of him now, lookin’ leagues worse than he did the first time he showed up on your doorstep… two nights ago.

How quickly things move.

Ari swears low under his breath behind you, both of you frozen in place and trying to make sense of the tableau before you, the sight of a dead man strung up against the wall, arms outstretched and a crown of broken scalpels forced into the exposed bone of his scalp, head hanging low as if looking down at the figure kneeling at his bloody, skinless feet.

Is that…?

It is.

Something sick rises in your gut as you take a look at the blood-bathed figure kneelin’ before the corpse you know she’d been busy trynna put back together into somethin’ buryable, her gloved hands bound into some bastardization of penitent prayer by a line of what you’re pretty sure is John Doe #47’s own large intestine, havin’ been cleaned out after another one of your techs “recovered” it from the tupperware container it’d been found in when the whole mess’d been discovered.

You can’t see her face — part cuz she’s turned away from you, lookin’ up at that flayed Christ, an’ part cuz of the horned thing resting on her shoulders, a shape you wish you didn’t recognize as you take in the sight of cream-white fur stained with drippin’ viscera — but you suspect you know exactly what kinda expression she’s wearin’ underneath that “mask” forced over her.

Blood for blood.

You made a life of it, death. Cornbread offerin’s like your momma taught you the first time you met one of the wailin’ spirits of the woods ‘round your home, let ‘em gorge themselves on the vitality of food the same way a livin’ bein’ might fuel themselves with the actual thing. Tried to make sense of the static the way your daddy would when he stepped off the pulpit and into the graveyard behind your family home, always hissing warnings to the bein’s beyond to keep away from his family.

You made a life of it.

But just like the mountains, the ones meant to keep you safe if you kept ‘em safe, death was supposed to stay way the hell away from you, was supposed to keep its scythe off you an’ yours until they were good an’ ready to travel through that big black door. That was the promise written all over that big ol’ family Bible you spent  your childhood copyin’ so you’d be ready for the world outside your homemade Eden, the one you wielded like shield an’ sword against any manner of haint unwillin’ to recognize the darkness in your own blood.

Death was not supposed to visit you in the one place you spent your day speakin’ for it, carvin’ answers out of flesh and bone, woe to you who rend the flesh.

Your lab is now an active crime scene, casting you out to make your calls to next of kin — you know them, you’ve met her husband ‘bout a half-dozen times this past month alone, bringin’ her lunch when her scatterbrain forgot it, got used  to seein’ him lingerin’ sheepishly in the doorway and then hollerin’ for her to come out front an’ give her beau a kiss — and try to get used to sayin’ her name in conjunction with, There’s been… an incident.

You’re no grief counselor.

There’s no training for this, but it ain’t right. It ain’t right for someone who ain’t family to call hers, someone who don’t remember laughin’ at her gettin’ giddy over stomach contents. Someone who don’t understand what it’s like to miss the sound of her hummin’ some pop song you ain’t even heard of—

You holdin’ up alright, Doc?

Ari Levinson makes you jump for the second time in as many days, office phone clatterin’ from your hand as you spin ‘round and try not to let your heart beat out your chest, still too busy overthinkin’ to manage a glare, I’ll be fine. You get the security footage from the lab?

Yeah. Got a couple computer guys on it now, trying to figure out what happened.

Well, you sigh, rubbin’ the bridge of your nose as you lean against a metal countertop, We better hope we find out soon enough, cuz I’m ‘bout three seconds from shakin’ this whole goddamn buildin’ apart lookin’ for someone to pin this shit on.

Ari nods, mouth pressed into a thin line as the silence ‘tween you stretches out, eyes wanderin’ over to the closed-off lab, sanctuary swarmin’ with corpse beetles mournin’ the loss of one of their own as they try an’ find out whodunnit.

You know they won’t, ‘course, but it’s enough to let ‘em try.

You’d never admit it, of course — an’ maybe you’d almost forgotten it by now, those childhood truths givin’ way to the kinda truths you needed to keep your callin’ here in these mountains — but it used to terrify you. An’ why wouldn’t it, all ‘em screamin’ mouths an’ radio-static pleas beggin’ you to make sense of the injustices of the world they’d been cut right out of?

Too much, too much pain, too much horror, too much for a girl of tender years to tolerate hearin’, much less repeatin’ to those still grieving.

Problem with the dead is, well, they’re selfish. Don’t care if you’re barely old enough to understand the meaning of death, still meant to be shielded from those things that should long have left this plane of existence an’ passed through that big black door.

Ari Levinson don’t know none of that terror though, don’t know much more’n what you jammed into his head after blowin’ away another one of your ghosts, but he means well. Stands a little to close behind you like he could just peer ‘round an’ see the way your lips twitch as you swallow down blood an’ bile, holdin’ back the shadows of your daddy’s own temper.

You gonna be alright, Doc?

Ah shit.

You’d rather chew glass than tell him you prolly won’t be, tell him you just lost a girl you loved like your own blood, tell him you got cocky and now the very community you called your home was in danger cuz of it.

But there he is, standing in front of you like a fuckin’ sentinel while he waits for you to give him something back. Assurance, more likely, but as much as you’re used to tellin’ lies an’ keepin’ secrets, there are some falsehoods even yoou can’t keep.

Sure, you finally answer, trying to sound convincing and feeling the hollowness bitter itself on your tongue, I’ll live. Gimme a few hours an’ I’ll have somethin’ to say for her.

[vo-kopen]

So in case any of y’all were interested in Zippo’s origin from my other post (seen here) here it is. I appreciate that his first appearance has a diagram of his tech, and while his spandex is a bit generic, his harness and wheels make him stand out. It is a bit weird that this PI just randomly has invented a harness, but a future story could explore why a PI is a skilled mechanic and inventor. Maybe he wanted to be an inventor but his tech was too niche or impossible to mass produce, so he was forced to use his eye for detail as a PI. There is potential for future stories here. And as a reminder, Zippo is in the public domain, so he is free to use for anyone for anything.

It’s also interesting that while Zippo is faster than any human, he’s not anywhere near the speed of a proper speedster. The Flash and Quicksilver both are so far out of his weight class it’s hilarious. But that’s not a bad thing, its an unique idea to have a speedster using 1940’s machinery to move fast, I can’t recall any other speedsters like that. The tech also stands out against his uniform; it is far from streamline. There is a sense that it is not the optimal way to move fast, but it still enough to let him foil a villain or two. Almost like a street level speedster. If a writer using him has a more typical speedster in their cast, Zippo could be used to show the limits of technology.

I also appreciate that while Zippo is violent, he did not kill his enemies. This is the Golden Age and before the comic code authority, and as you can see the Pirate is not only willing to kill but I believe he is cleaning blood off his cutlass. Zippo sparing him therefore seems like a point of contrast, the Pirate is willing to even kill his own henchmen, but Zippo does not. You could explore a code of ethics here. And from a practical point of view, this theoretically means the Pirate could show up in future stories.

The story is jingoist, what with the focus on war plants and the USO thing at the end, but this story did come out in 1943. War industry is bad, but at least they are fighting the Nazis. (Though I cannot bring myself to read issue two yet because it’s the forties and while I do not know the plot, if Imperial Japan comes up in a story I expect to be horrified. Captain America comics in the forties were very racist. Zippo seems more based in the states than Cap so it might never come up, but spies and saboteurs are still a possibility, so my anxiety fears)

Other notes, his secretary barely appears but her last name is Smith, so if a writer uses him they could incorporate that name as a play on words. Like, maybe she helps him maintain or build his gear. (again, I have not read issue two yet, she might not stick around or their dynamic might differ. Though there is no reason a retelling would have to treat the original comics as a strict bible) Either way, she is in a position that could easily be a recurring role if not a major supporting character. Shame she is such a blank slate in issue one.

As for Joe’s profession, my gut shouts ACAB, especially his use of threatening violence to get enemies to confess. That said, he is approached by Anderson because he is not a part of the system and they don’t want to cause a panic, so there is potential there for him to be written as outside and contrasted against law enforcement. Is he subtler than the law? Is he less important in the eyes of the public so they would not care as much? Would any of that plus Zippo’s smashing success cause resentment among the cops? These ideas are clearly not in the text, but it could be explored by a modern writer. And I will admit, being a PI gives him a reason to be approached by civilians to help them with their troubles, as well as an excuse to investigate in his civies. Reporter is the classic occupation to justify superhero snooping, but this is not the worst job for a superhero to have. That’s billionaire.

Anyway, tagging @thefingerfuckingfemalefury @akirakan @espanolbot2 @filipfatalattractionrblog @nitpickrider @bear-of-mirrors @geekgirl101 @renaroo @docgold13 @paulsebert @majingojira @strixobscuro and any other comic fan who might be interested in reading a quick little comic about a public domain “speedster.”

[kaladinkholins]

i think fandoms can be soooo ridiculous a lot of the time (see: all the nonsensical fan wars, discourse, etc) but i cannot understate how much i actually love fandoms.

like yeah it may be super nerdy and even cringe and outsiders look at it like "why tf do you care about these fictional characters so much?"

but 1) my field is literally..... literary studies..... in which all i do is study fiction and analyse it like an insane person, and 2) even if that WASN'T my field, thinking about the stories we consume is important even for any person to do, because thinking about stories exercises our brain to think critically!! why do you think our ancestors used stories as a medium to share knowledge, to propagate moral values and lessons? stories—telling them, thinking about what they're saying, and caring about the characters within them—are all inherent to the human experience!!!

so that brings me to fandom. because we are literally just making these little communities with each other based on our shared love for a particular story, and for a particular character or theme within them that resonated with us, or whatever. we're all here because we loved a thing so much that we built connections from it!!!

like yeah my irl friends laugh at me when i tell them i write fanfic, cuz ha ha what a nerd what a loser etc, but dude. i made genuine real friendships from fandom alone. from just obsessing over two characters we thought were cute together, we've gone to sending each other gifts and postcards and having voice calls and confiding in each other and sharing parts of us and our personal lives and our cultures (cuz we're all from different countries) with each other! like now i don't even share a fandom with most of my old fandom friends anymore but we still stick by each other and that's amazing???

also like, i cannot emphasise enough how amazing and encouraging it is to share your craft (art/writing/etc) with others in fandom. because for example if i make my own personal art or write my own original work, i'd have no one to share it to, no one interested to see it, and thus no one will be there to provide feedback or encouragement.

but if i post a piece of fan art or fanfic, people actually do see the work i post and care about the craft and the content it's depicting and even share their thoughts on it and that ??? is so motivating and lovely ??? because even though i make art for myself, art is still meant to be shared and seen at the end of the day—even if only with one person. so to be given the means of sharing our art in such a way, to have such a community that fosters so much creativity, it's amazing. i don't really get that anywhere else.

and especially to have this in like, a casual setting, you know, where you can just be yourself and do things according to your own time and energy without the pretenses of professionalism and a perfectly curated resume or portfolio, and all the confines of a rigid work schedule, which would all make the process of creation less fun and less genuine, and instead just more taxing and chore-like.

because fandom is essentially meant to be about doing what's fun for you! it's about sharing your creations and enjoying what others share with you. you make friends and you go ham with it.

and also it's why it's more frustrating when people take things too seriously and legitimately get upset over assumptions of other people's beliefs and hold the most minor grievances that could only be felt if you're like, chronically online.

but on that note, there are definitely still honest-to-god bad people in fandom spaces too (see: racists, TERFS, homophobes, groomers, harassers, etc). but that's the case with all communities, because bad people are always going to exist, and thus statistically speaking, the bigger a group or community is, higher chances are there's gonna be some awful people in there. but honestly that is its own can of worms and also that's not what this post is about, but i felt it necessary to address because i don't want to paint fandom as like, the best thing ever in the world, because fandom spaces are incredibly flawed, as everything is.

but i've always been one to appreciate things despite its flaws. and though this may be very personal to me, when i love things so much, i am still willing to stick around and try to change the culture around it in the ways that i can (like promoting internet safety measures, creating safe spaces for thoughtful and polite discussion, raising awareness on harmful stereotypes and fandom depictions or opinions, etc).

so regardless of the bullshit that online fandom spaces tend to perpetuate, i do very much still love the way that fandom allows me to connect with folks over something as silly as our little blorbos, and from there end up making life-long friends, or at the very least new acquaintances. insert reinforcement of my thesis statement about stories fostering human connection here. the end. send post.

[dreamnants-mis]

unnamed

A story about a nameless man who cannot die and a name that became his own. Spoilers for up to Chapter 124! Word Count: 2,252

This was the fic that originally sparked the analysis I did on Andy's name, but it wasn't completed and published until this year, as part of trying to distract myself until the 21st. Decided to post this fic on here too for the heck of it. You can find it on here too.

"What's your name?"

"Don't remember. Undead's good enough, right?" "Not at all! Guess I'll have to name you then!" ... He didn't have a name for the longest time.

Granted, he didn't have anything when he emerged from the shallow grave, aside from the clothes on his back and the lingering taste of dry dirt in his mouth.

He probably could have thought of one for himself to stick with, but for some reason, it never occurred to him that he could. Whenever he tried, something about whatever he came up with just didn't seem right. As if the lingering traces of the past were telling him that it wasn't his name, but nothing could quite feel like his name either.

Instead, he'd let the people around him refer to him by whatever they wanted. Josh, Sanders, and Red had called him Captain, as did Camus and Ash. Even as time went on, Camus and Ash never stopped calling him that and he never bothered to indicate anything to stop them otherwise. It'd simply felt too natural after knowing them for too long to change. He was still nameless otherwise though.

After both of them passed away, he went back to being a drifter with no attachments and no clear name or even a nickname to go by. Maybe another reason he didn't go by any definite name was because as he realized a decade or so afterwards, he would probably had to change it at some point to avoid drawing attention to himself as being undead.

At some point around the 1950s, he'd given up on trying to find his identity as perhaps anyone that knew him from the past was long gone. Hence why he was fine with being called Undead, even if it came with the stark reminder of what he was and the curse that came with it. Being named created attachments. Attachments, for someone who couldn't die, were simply painful. 

When he was captured by the Union in 1970 and spent the next decade in confinement and countless tests with death, Gina gave him the name "Deady Dearest". He didn't care too much for the name personally, but the gesture behind it was from a kinder place and made him not say anything when she did. It definitely felt less like a name more as a cheesy nickname, but it was a step more personal than being called Undead.

When it came clear to him that he truly couldn't die, he'd escaped and spent the next 50 years as he had in the years before wandering with the Union still trailing him without a clear purpose as a ghost.

He happened to remember how Josh had wanted to learn swordplay from Japan long ago after he'd taught her Japanese, leading to him becoming Yusai's student for a year to learn iajitsu.  Yusai had tried to propose to him after he'd mastered the last technique in late August, but he'd simply told him he'd only accept if she could outlive him and left knowing what he said was an impossible task.

A part of him couldn't bring himself to return to Japan for decades after that. He only returned over thirty years later to see Tokyo on a whim out of curiosity. Since Tokyo wasn't anywhere near where Yusai lived, he figured there were slim chances of running into her.

He hadn't thought visiting Japan would be any different than his usual country wanderings. He'd finally taken the plunge to try that boba thing that was apparently becoming popular in Asian countries, finding it far too sweet and the texture strange to wonder why people liked it so much. 

At least until he passed by Shinjuku Station and overheard some brat saying it was time to end herself and claiming anyone who touched her would contract a deadly disease and die. Certainly the most interesting suicide he'd seen in a while. And he'd seen many of them, more than one would ever want to count.

It was indeed the case since just seconds after touching her face, he'd fallen right onto an incoming train and left just a head. The rush knowing it was because of him touching her made him rush to confront her about her so called "Unluck".

She'd called him Zombie at first, something that he didn't care for anymore than Undead since zombies had to die first for the term to be accurate. Which he couldn't do in the first place. Still, that incident with the train only made him more curious about her and seeing if her Unluck could end his life.

The meteorite from her kiss on the cheek had sold him on the idea she was his key to permanent death.

In the aftermath, when she asked for his name, he'd just said she could call him Undead. Unlike the other times he'd been asked that however, she didn't accept that and decided to insist on giving him a name instead.

Andy, from "ahn-dead".

A bit on the nose. He frankly hated it just as much as being called Undead. But he'd just scoffed and accepted it as a price for the brat allowing him to be around her until she could bring him a fatal stroke of Unluck by falling in love with him.

It sounded simple enough, seeing as said brat was a pushover in love with shoujo manga.

Of course, in hindsight, it wasn't as simple as it seemed at the time.

Weirdly, in the span of a month, the name started to stick. Maybe it was how she'd often said in a way that felt natural, like it was his name, without a doubt. Maybe it was how others also started to refer to him as "Andy" instead of "Undead". At least he'd thought the name was better than his initial impressions.

The mess with him removing the card and letting Victor go had brought forth those questions about his identity he hadn't thought about in over a century and then uprooted them with a truth he wasn't mentally prepared for. 

Victor was probably the original him, but he also wasn't him. The name Victor felt wrong to him.

It wasn't a pleasant reality in the slightest on top of the fact he couldn't die. Weirdly, the only thing that kept him from completely receding into the depths of the mind as Victor resumed full control of the body was hearing Victor in his mind was planning to kill the brat for giving him false hope of death.

To his surprise, he started to resist, only barely delaying Victor from using a Parts Bullet to her head.

But what shocked him more was the brat kept calling for him to come back despite having Victor about to shoot her dead point blank that she still wanted to experience more of the world with him.

She knew better than anyone why he protected her in the first place was for his own reasons. He made that especially clear to her the day they met. Really, she should have just tried to run even if it were futile.

Yet she continued to catch him off guard with what she did next. She clung to Victor with the intent to bring him back to the surface. She even blew a hole in Victor's head with a high-caliber gun, stuck her own fingers in the bullet hole to bring him back to the surface, and allow him to kiss her to summon a meteorite shower that left Victor a charred husk.  Then she rushed into the crater to stab the card back in his head despite the water of Lake Honeycomb about to swallow everything up.

Fuuko that day proved to be far more than the brat he'd made her out to be initially. 

But perhaps what made it evident to him Andy was becoming his name the first time was when he needed to sign a name for the delivery service to the hotel in Brazil and without hesitation, he'd put the name "Andy" down. It was a small thing that he hadn't thought much about in the moment.

Yet later than evening when they were getting ready for the auction, the gesture of the action suddenly hit him, on top of Fuuko telling him she'd use her Unluck to save him from Victor as many times as needed earlier. He had acknowledged the name beyond something Fuuko called him and others just happened to use. 

Over the next three months leading up to December, more and more people called him Andy aside from Fuuko. But for some reason, he found how Fuuko called him Andy to be the most natural to him. He wasn't sure if it was something about how she pronounced Andy or something else he couldn't name.

To be honest, he'd been feeling more alive in the span of a few months than he had in his nearly two centuries worth of living ever since that August day he decided to intervene on a suicide attempt on a whim. Yet it wasn't until Fuuko made herself a hostage to Under how often he was around her and just how much her presence made him feel at ease. Hell, how reliant was he on her for his own mental well-being despite having called her a pushover so often?

His anxiety over not hearing from her didn't go unnoticed by the others. Said anxiety had quickly melted the moment he heard her call his name through Clothy being a Union emblem to the point it surprised even himself.

But somehow in the middle of that conversation, something just made him uneasy enough to grab at anything to divert attention away from Fuuko noticing how much her lack of presence around him threw him off. That something just so happened to be the mention of Yusai.

It really was a joke, seeing as it was more him rejecting her proposal. Of course, the communication cut off before he could clarify that being the case.

(He did deserve getting trampled by Tatiana and Mico for that ex-girlfriend comment and maybe also that callous rejection he gave Yusai decades ago.)

Hearing her voice was a relief, but only a temporary one when it became clear he wouldn't have a chance to retrieve her until December 24th.

He'd managed to put his efforts into training the Union, especially Top and Chikara, to battle Under to distract himself, but when the others were sleeping and he couldn't focus on redirecting that energy to mounting a group effort, he'd found himself still fretting. Fuuko would be fine physically since Unluck was so valuable and key to defeating Spring, but that did little to soothe the anxiety that formed the moment the portal Fuuko stepped through vanished.

When he'd said he'd loved her preparing a Parts Bullet to rescue her, it'd been something he'd expected Fuuko to not have noticed him saying, considering the thick glass between them. Maybe it was more trying to articulate what exactly she brought him. But Fuuko turning out to be more observant than he expected made him try to play it off as her getting prettier, which she knew he was lying about.

The Spring battle took up his energy and focus afterwards, but the aftermath was enough for him to accept Fuuko's inability to kill him wasn't from her lack of love but rather him not being able to fully return her feelings because he was scared of accepting them.

Especially when the splatter of her blood on his face as that bastard ran her through her heart brought the day he "died" for the first time in a flurry of bullets that killed Josh, Sanders, and Red back in full force on why he'd been afraid to care in the first place.

Because to love also meant the potential pain of loss as well.

Yet unlike back then, he wasn't alone. The Union and even Billy jumped into action to keep Fuuko in limbo, even if that rotten bastard had convinced Ghost to hold Fuuko's soul hostage. As long as Fuuko's soul was alive, he could still save her.

Though at the same time, it was also the Union that allowed for him to hope for the better against the coming apocalypse, sealed with Juiz skewering him with Kurikara through the chest as he drove away on DB yelling that they would wait for him to come back with Fuuko's soul with two open seats.

Odd how it was like the day he met Fuuko and he was chasing after her in hopes of tasting her biggest stroke of Unluck. He was chasing after Fuuko again, but this time, it wasn't about her Unluck more as it was also to reach and hold her again, the person that had become the beacon of his hope and Fuuko was waiting for him to catch her.

And damn, he planned to catch her.

...

"Who are you?" The little girl he rescued from a Junior asked him as he pried its jaw open to prepare for a Dead Road.

"You asked who I am? Right, let's see...I'm Undead," he'd answered at first on reflex. But unlike how it was when he'd told Fuuko to call him that since it was good enough, now it was Undead that felt odd and foreign to his ears. 

So after a moment to properly face the kid, Andy corrected himself.

"Nah, nix that. I'm Andy."

[will-o-wips]

It is 4 am. I'm staring at the ceiling of my bedroom, coincidentally having my phone right in my line of sight, and write this with the exasperation and intense focus that I probably won't ever have again. I'm about to attempt to make any sort of sense of the latest Hayao Miyazaki movie, The Boy and the Heron (or rather, How do you live? in Japanese), that I watched for the first time in theatres a day ago.

I cannot claim to be right, or to know everything about this movie. Actually acclaimed critics and people with obviously more braincells than me have probably better takes than I do. But I must speak, lest the insanity truly take over my brain, lest I really end up combusting because of how much I want to talk about this.

Prepare yourselves for the most incoherent train of thought and line of consciousness you will ever experience.

FILLED WITH SPOILERS READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. YOU WILL NOT UNDERSTAND UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE.

Before I start with my actual thoughts, however, I'll state my personal feelings about the movie, because I feel that matters too, and this is my post anyway so! But I personally left the cinema feeling somewhat mellow. I was not insane about it yet. It was,,, "meh". The impression of the ride was great; I was giggling along with the funny and even sometimes not purposefully funny moments, I enjoyed the animation to the point I would genuinely flap my hands in excitement at how good it was, I understood the story in great lines by noticing small details and going "oh so does this mean x?". But I did not cry. Not a single tear during or after or before the movie. I did not waver with my opinion on it as I rambled about it to my friends online and irl, much to their annoyance. I did not hesitate when I put it in my silly little Studio Ghibli movie tierlist maker that I update whenever I watch another one of these films together with my friends, categorized (in)discreetly under "all vibes no plot but there's a witch/wizard". I still don't, in fact.

So, given all of this, you'd probably say that I disliked the movie. That I would not have so much to say about it, after doing my mandatory ramble and update. Wrong. I still have more to say, somehow.

Despite that, I didn't rewatch the movie itself. I read an entirety of one (1) review of it, together with one (1) random video essay of 8 or so minutes, covering the basics of it. I reblogged one (1) post about its protagonist on tumblr and otherwise kinda read through the rest of the posts on here. I did not re-experience or re-examine this movie again. I cannot (again) accurately reference anything besides that what I vaguely remember from watching it a day or two ago. It's not playing anywhere near me anymore/not out anywhere else yet, so really, I don't even know what possessed me to write about this, or even say anything. The most fascinating thing (to probably all of us here) is; what made me change my mind about it?

It might've been the review on IndieWire. David Ehrlich and his well-written review, bringing things into much needed context as to why this movie was created. It could've been the fact that I've actively processed the movie better, now a little bit of time has passed. [Honestly it deserves a second watch/view for something more concrete, but I'm repeating myself with this, you get it.]

But I don't even really understand it myself. I felt and still feel so detached from this movie in a sense. I appreciate the artistry that went into it, and I adore the way it simply tells the story and leaves it up to interpretation. It references every single film Hayao Miyazaki has ever made before, and elements of other Ghibli films can probably be found in there too, if you looked hard enough. The vibes were similar to those of Spirited Away, and Howl's Moving Castle, given how inexplicably fantastical the world was. It just existed and breathed, and we as the audience jumped straight into it. We never got more exposition than what was needed; honestly I have a feeling that the second half of the movie was the vaguest piece of media I have ever consumed in my life. But it also had this perfect balance of the more drama-focused Ghibli films. The Boy and the Heron, in my opinion, is like the golden middle between reality and fantasy, both in terms of its narrative as well as comparison between other Ghibli movies.

This might also be the reason why I felt confused. The lines between reality and fantasy were so effortlessly blurred, that you could only process a singular picture. And when things are vague to me, I constantly need to pick them apart and analyse them, simply to satisfy my own curiosity.

The moment before I stepped into the movie theatre, my friend who watched along with me told me they heard it was a film about grief. I nodded along and said "yeah, okay, that just means it's another one of many Hayao Miyazaki and Ghibli films. Most of them are about some kind of loss, and dealing with it, either way." I sat down together with them; row 9, chairs 17 and 18, with my two bottles of water (one carbonated, one stilled) and the bag of terribly sour packaged chocolate pretzels I bought at the theatre itself. Horribly overpriced for the quality, I must say. My friend held onto the popcorn, and we sat through the ads, talking and laughing, anticipating something that was supposed to blow us away.

I cannot speak for my friend, but I think they really liked the movie regardless. They didn't cry at it either, even though we both know of each other that we always cry at such things. Somehow this movie evoked a certain stillness in us both; a stalemate between emotions and confusion. Maybe delayed processing. Maybe something else entirely. We both, or at least I, hid it until later.

It was midnight, and right before we stepped on our train home, I was excitedly going on about the references and animation, the things I did appreciate. I bragged a bit about how I recognized Kenshi Yonezu's voice in the final credit song that we didn't get to listen to entirely, because it was so late and we had to rush to get home. They laughed at me and told me to take some time to actively formulate any coherent thoughts on it. I disagreed (lovingly and jokingly of course), and we left it at that.

In the train itself, the same high dimmed into a simmer, the excitement replaced with contemplation, and I kept talking.

I told them: "I believe that this truly is his last film. This felt like a goodbye." And in return, they replied: "It's crazy how this is the last time we'll ever get to live in such a moment. The release of the final Ghibli movie in theatres.

"I'm glad we got to go."

I was too.

I got home, rambled about the intrinsic way The Boy and the Heron referenced other Ghibli movies to my online friends who had yet to see it. Followed by a heated tangent about how When Marnie Was There truly could have had better direction in regards to the narrative, as well as how Only Yesterday was the most boring out of all Ghibli movies. It was a nice night. I didn't think about the movie again.

The following morning, I contacted other friends, who told me about how Robert Pattison voiced the Heron in the English dub, which I hadn't seen or heard at all. He did a great job, judging by the trailer. This led me to another opinion, namely the video essay (I will try to find it and put it in the notes later if you are curious), which claimed something similar to this (of course, paraphrased):

"This is a farewell. The one true movie to tie such an expansive career. It is another movie where you are allowed to explore the magical together with the main character, while sticking close to the processing of it all."

The review I read said it was a swan-song, that it was the question and title of the movie in Japanese, posed at us, after The Wind Rises left it open to interpretation at the end of its run. That this was a story about the legacy that Miyazaki is leaving behind, how reality and fantasy coexist together, possibly influencing each other (not explicitly said but what I interpreted that review saying, so no this is also not completely like this).

Other tumblr posts I've seen on here say it was a film most likely dedicated to his son, Goro Miyazaki. That it was a gentle "I'm sorry, the shadow I leave behind is huge. I know that you will try and fail to fill it. It's okay; you don't have to. You can leave it behind. It's alright if this legacy dies with me."

Some other sources I've seen compare the main protagonist to Miyazaki himself, trying to grapple with the ending.

Yet somehow, all of these interpretations seem to fail to explain the entirety of this movie. The bigger picture if you will. These themes and moments and interpretations are not wrong, but to me, they're not satisfying enough.

Because maybe I am the only one who actually was insane about this moment, but I will never forget the delivery room scene between Mahito and Natsuko. How Himi addresses the magic stone, pleading to let the two go, saying "Natsuko and the boy who is to be her son". (Again, paraphrased, I cannot remember the exact line.) Maybe I am the only one who witnessed the whimsical fire witch and the going back in time plots and the fact that a younger Kiriko and Himi were there, already part of an ecosystem. How we already know from the other grannies in the house that Mahito's mother disappeared once for a whole year into the tower, and then came back the same as before. How the pelicans were BROUGHT there, that they did not belong there, and yet were forgetting how to fly. How they ate the Warawara, these creatures that were rising above to be born in the upper world. How the Heron's weakness was his 7th tail feather (or something along those lines), and how the fish and the frogs chanted for Mahito to join them in the tower. That the great-great-uncle was hoping for Mahito to succeed him and build a new tower, yet the king of the parakeets butted in and haphazardly did the job, resulting in it immediately toppling over, as well as the stones getting cut.

I think about the final scene where the Heron says "It's best to forget. Do you have any keepsakes?" And Mahito shows not only older Kiriko's figure, but also a piece of the stone paths they walked upon in order to get to the centre, the beating heart, the magic stone and his great-great-uncle.

How this is taking place during a war, that the timeline goes from his mothers death that Mahito cannot get over, to the welcoming of his stepmother and his new younger sibling. Them moving back to Tokyo. The way the tower completely collapsed. Completely and utterly collapsed and perished; not even a trace of it left behind. The way that older Kiriko keeps yelling it is a trap to Mahito in the beginning, but that both he and the Heron know. That it is inevitable to tread this specific path. That he must see for himself, whether his mother is truly alive. The way she both was and wasn't; first a mirage of her older self disappearing into a puddle of water, and second a firey spirit of her younger self coming to help Mahito. The way that he reads and cries at the book she left him, the way he hits himself with a rock after his big fight with his classmates; the way Mahito in general drowns consistently in the beginning of the film. He drowns in the fire that he lost his mother in. He drowns in the mud and the dust when he tries to enter the tower at first. He drowns in his dreams, in his tears, drowns right into his quest to find Natsuko (straight through the floor, by behest of his great-great-uncle), drowns in pelicans trying to eat him, nearly drowns in the actual sea until younger Kiriko fishes him out.

Now these things may seem like me just randomly naming shit that happens in the movie. Hopefully in a slightly poetic way, possibly. I could go on and on about the imagery, truly. But my point is, this movie may have been Miyazaki's last movie, his way of closure, his way of speaking to his son about his legacy, his way of describing the grief of losing his mother (idk if this is autobiographical or not. It very well may have been), yet...

Even so, it doesn't really fit the entire picture. It feels incomplete. The analyses always focus on the true meaning behind this movie, what happens behind the scenes, this one key climactic moment between Mahito and his great-great-uncle. But that's as if you would ignore the rest of the movie in general. As if the fantastical aspects weren't there to abstractly tell a story besides just being a symbol of closure for the person that directed it.

Personally, this is a tale of rebirth. Of losing yourself, and then rediscovering yourself in a way. I associate it with my own personal loss of my grandfather; the family member I felt closest to out of everyone.

The way you look back at such a traumatic stage in your life, something that irrevocably changed you for good, something that you probably don't ever want to relive again, but also mustn't forget. The way you instinctively are afraid to learn about who the person you love and grieve was, before you were in their life.

To this day, I still cannot speak to my mother about whether my grandfather had a favourite song before me forcing him to sing along with my favourites. A favourite book before he read out bedtime stories to me tirelessly. Who the boy in him was, and what wisdom and life lessons he carried on, into his grave, into the hearts of his children.

This movie depicts so much more than just grief, it's so much more than just legacy, even. It directly reflects the way I know I would have felt had I dared to actually see things for myself. If I actually dared to go through my grandfather's old things; the books he wrote and dedicated to me, the books he read when he was young. This movie depicts not how to live, but how to live on.

And the only way to live on is to move forward. To look at the foundations upon which it was built, to evaluate whether you truly want to have this be your burden to carry for the rest of your life. Mahito's abstract grief in regards to his mother, and the solace he finds in the fact that he at least knew who she was; that he at least had her in his life as both his mother and the girl that his stepmother knew, that at the very least he knows his mother would do it all over again, if she could. That despite everything, she did not regret a thing, and that she was not afraid. That somewhere, in the past, she lives on, happily marching toward this fate, because she knows that Mahito will be there to meet her again in the future.

And Natsuko, god, she worries relentlessly about whether Mahito will accept her. She worries to the point she yells at him, telling him that she hates him and his existence, because he rejects her so coldly and yet still bothers to show up in front of her during her most vulnerable moments. That he only takes and takes and takes; he steals her cigarettes in order to learn how to sharpen a knife from one of the servants. He uses those techniques to create a bow and arrow, a weapon. He gets into fights at school, he gets gravely injured on the side of his head, leaving a lasting scar.

If I were in her shoes, I would be furious at him too. Especially if he walked straight into the delivery room, trying to drag me out of bed while I was doing my damn best to keep the other child in my belly alive.

That scene, that sheer rage, and the way it ALL FUCKING SUBSIDES the MOMENT Mahito accepts her and calls her mother. The moment Mahito understands that through the literal whirlwind of plasters, things used to tend to wounds, none of those pleasantries/guards will truly allow him to reach her. The way he tries to nurse his own wounds, as well as try to nurse hers, over the loss of their shared connection (Natsuko's older sister, Mahito's biological mother), will NEVER allow him to make a connection with her. By being careful, by being polite, he will never get to be her son.

And he realizes, in that moment, that he wants to.

The magic stone tries to stop this. The magic stone dislikes disruption; dislikes things changing, dislikes breaking traditions (the taboo of entering the delivery room). The parakeets in the tower flourish because they follow the magic stone's whims more or less. They agree to follow its rules, even if it means they are prone to its abuse, because it gives them an advantage, a place to stay. The pelicans have to eat the Warawara, because there is no other food available to them.

The way younger Kiriko says "you reek of death", and how they establish this place is mostly made up of death and dead people. Dead people, or dying people, creatures that are begging to survive another day. Creatures that are begging to be reborn. That want to change, that wish to fly once more.

My mother once gave me a poem dearest to her heart. We have always been a family filled with literature and stories, but my mother was always the best at both writing them and reciting them. She used to read them out to me, back when I was in a particularly bad spot mentally, to the point I could not get out of bed for weeks on end, to try and reach me. She read with the sincerest passion in her voice, a small plea to get me back to the girl I was before.

I cannot explain or remember the poem by heart, but once I was at my true rock bottom, she told me to look it up. A Serbian poem, written by Miroslav Antić (I will add the name of it later), that was about growing up and growing into your own person. It made me weep, for it had a phrase I think I can only translate to this:

"Run and don't look back."

Somehow, whenever I look at all of these birds and creatures in this fantasy world, trying to fly desperately, trying to get to the skies, trying to get to even live, and think about the fact that the only way they can is by leaving this place. That the only way they can fly and survive as themselves is by leaving this tower, this stone, this foundation. By leaving and being born, by leaving and being reborn.

And, after all of this. Somehow I'm not even done yet. I haven't talked about the great-great-uncle in depth, nor the king of the parakeets, nor the heron whatsoever. I have not yet even touched upon what I might think the magic stone is, and the sheer amount of like symbolism I picked apart in my brain because of my insanity.

I'm probably not the only one who noticed these things. But so far I haven't seen anyone actively share these things, so, I will do my best to continue and genuinely wrap it up as best as I can. So that this can also bring the same amount of closure as the movie does.

The magic stone is like a shooting star that came onto the earth. It realizes dreams and worlds of whoever dares to walk into it and claim to own it; like how Mahito's great-great-uncle got obsessed and built a tower around it, caging it, taming it. And yet he still had to play to its whims, consistently making sure his own tower of blocks did not fall, that all of his work did not amount to nothing. Personally, I do believe the great-great-uncle could represent Miyazaki himself. That Miyazaki is trying to express how he built Ghibli and that now it has been going on for so long, and it has become unmanageable to continue upholding it. That it is time to retire.

A thing I find interesting and remember pretty well is the conversation between the parakeet king and the great-great-uncle. How they talked about Mahito's transgression, breaking into the delivery room (side note: he broke in and broke through to Natsuko with his mother's spirit. Mahito became Natsuko's son with the blessing of his mother; with the sheer love she had for him being carried on and through), and how the great-great-uncle says something akin to this:

"It is why I wish for him [Mahito] to succeed me."

"I cannot overlook such a transgression."

I feel this is important. It is key to how the great-great-uncle views Mahito in this. Because Mahito was not sent out on this quest to find Natsuko out of pure selfishness. Sure, his uncle would have wanted him to succeed him, but the entire reason WHY he believed in Mahito to begin with, is the fact that this boy was able to break the foundation and the traditions in the first place. Mahito inherently disobeys from the chosen path. Mahito inherently does not believe the Heron when he says that all herons lie. Mahito doesn't waver when the heron flies straight at him, he doesn't sway when the frogs or the pelicans overwhelm him. Mahito stands firm in who he is, even if he is trying to deal with new circumstances. Mahito inherently goes to places he should not be in (his curiosity for the tower). Mahito has enough power on his own to create a new tower, but only by rebuilding it from scratch.

This ready acceptance that the great-great-uncle has towards Mahito's decision NOT to inherit his legacy, is what makes me believe this is what this movie is supposed to represent. Break away from the old, off into the new. Closure. Moving on.

This is also reflected in the sentiment that Mahito truly DOES move on. He goes back to his family, his father, school, he goes back with Natsuko as his mother and a new younger sibling to Tokyo. He returns there where he came from, but he is not the same anymore. He is reborn into a new Mahito.

And god I feel like I'm repeating myself to death here; I really should have thought about the structure of this, but give me some slack okay. It's like 6:30 am already and I'm still not done, despite continuously writing and labouring at this.

So, the tower that immediately falls apart by someone who always follows the whims of a dream (the parakeet king and the stone respectively). God it is just such a momentTM. Because in the end even this shows that the parakeets, too, even though they by far had it the best in that goddamn tower, had to leave. For they could not build something on their own without learning who they were outside of the already established. Outside of just following the rules and all.

They had to leave, my GODDDDD.

As I'm getting progressively more unhinged, we shall move onto the most unhinged character in this entire fucking movie. The Heron himself. God there's too much to unpack here, really, but the truth is, the Heron was supposed to be the guide to Mahito. The Heron was supposed to be Mahito's biggest, most aggressive enemy, the direct antagonist to Mahito's protagonist. The Heron doesn't want change. The Heron tries to bribe Mahito with the fact that his mother is still alive, that he need only enter the tower, and lose himself to illusions and dreams. That fantasizing about his mother being alive won't only drown him more, that it won't just let Mahito sink into the deepest pits of his despair and anguish about such a death, that losing yourself to the belief that something is there when it is not wouldn't only be counterproductive. The Heron masks himself consistently; he says that all herons lie. He says that he only has one weakness, his own feather, that allows the arrow to automatically target him. In essence, the Heron shot himself in the foot beak. He himself slipped up in his mirage world, and came out to be who he truly was, this weird little man with a huge nose and a conniving demeanour. He adamantly cannot disobey the dream, for then his true nature comes peaking out (a small detail I absolutely love is the fact that the Heron's feathers also disappear out of Mahito's hands when Mahito is called back to reality by the grannies. The grannies protect him in the dream world too, by being his tether and support system while he gets over himself and starts trusting Natsuko). The Heron doesn't WANT to be a guide, for in order to be a guide, you must tell the truth. You'd need to know some facts about the world around you and share this information with the ones seeking guidance. This is how I believe Mahito understood the Heron before we did.

It's not that all herons lie; it's just that this particular one does not want to face the truth/reality.

Another interesting detail: the whole reason why only Mahito was able to cover up the hole in the Heron's beak was reminiscent about how only those that called you out can really patch up your old image. Only those that have poked holes in your false narrative are able to fill them back up again, and even then it is not the same, and even then it will not always be comfortable/reliable.

Either way, the Heron, after this wings partially turn into hands, his true nature, is unable to fly all that well for a while. He relies on Mahito's corkscrew thing in order to relish in his comfort zone of lies again. But throughout the movie, the Heron slowly starts to ignore the corkscrew completely; simply opting to stay in his (frankly, freakish) half gremlin man half heron costume form. The Heron changes because Mahito inspired him to change. Even though his image used to be spotless before, and he tried to deceive Mahito, after a while, he stopped doing that. The mutual trust both Mahito and the Heron had grew. The Heron became a person, although his heron-ness would never go away.

The Heron thus warns Mahito that he should want to forget. That he will forget, either way. That this struggle of his to grapple with the reality of his situation, and the fantasy that he was delving into, will become a far-off memory that Mahito should not revisit. The Heron, I believe, is genuinely trying to look out for Mahito.

"Don't dwell in what you have already overcome. Don't revisit the things you have already outgrown."

And this is where the movie more or less ends. Mahito still keeps that stone, and his mother's book, and he goes back to Tokyo; the only crucial difference is that he has overcome his own grief.

Now, I've said this like a billion times now, but this is the rebirth. This is what I think this movie stands for. What it means, at its core. This is what it means to live; to move on and to cut ties with that what has no place in your life anymore. Miyazaki, I think, is trying to give us closure, a final farewell to Ghibli altogether.

Now I don't know about any speculation that he might come back again, and personally, I don't think it really matters. If he does come back, good for him. I just don't know enough to say anything for sure, so I'll just say I cannot say.

Either way, I think, even though Miyazaki conveyed the need for a new start/a rebirth, he didn't really end on the complete abolishment of all that used to be. You are allowed to keep mementos of it; even though the Heron advises not to. Mahito is allowed to reflect upon this experience, to see it as another stone in his foundation/formation, to say that, yes, the spirit of this change will always stay with me, although it has passed.

Just like how Mahito's mom was someone who returned to the past without regrets. She never came back. She was a spirit that pushed Mahito forward, and he will always remember her, but it's better that she stay a memory than become a fantasy.

This is why I'm so impressed by this movie in general. I'm so thankful that I was able to witness this with a friend of mine. I'm glad that I was able to see this, even though my insanity knows no bounds, and the fact that I didn't even think about any of this until I really sat down to look through the options of interpretations.

I'm so glad I got to go. Now it's time to run towards the future, and never look back.

[buttercupjosh]

Opinion/Rant: To start, I’m bringing up something that occurred back in 2020 but myself and some others didn’t see the actual video until 2021. This post is a bit long but please bear with me. Anyways, I’m bringing this up now because I’ve noticed throughout 2023 and throughout part of 2024, there’s been a big resurgence of Vince content on here (yeah, I already know he’s cute and a talented player, I used to hold space for him on my blog and post about him in the past) but a part of me feels like people have either forgotten about what he did or they just don’t know what occurred so this post serves as an educational post for those who may not know (or a reminder for those who may have forgotten) and is not intended by any means to cause any drama. I also do share some of my opinion on what happened in this post as well.

For those who don’t know or remember, back in 2020, Vince used to do live streams of him playing video games on Twitch during COVID lockdown and during these streams, he would play music while he played games. On one of these game streams (I don’t know which specific one it was from), Vince was singing along to some song and the n-word came out of his mouth (the video of the incident is at the very end of this post). Yeah, I know he listens to a lot of rap and R&B and I’ve seen some people say that he was drunk when it happened and that the song was choppy but that doesn’t excuse him saying it. According to others who watched the stream when it was fully available, Vince allegedly didn’t apologize for using the word and when he was called out for it in the stream chat, he allegedly got a bunch of people to harass the person who called him out.

As someone who’s Black, it hurt me a lot to hear Vince say the n-word, even if it was for a second. For those of y’all who defend him and act like what he did wasn’t wrong or trying to come up with excuses for him, you don’t fully understand how painful and harmful his actions were. Just because I’m Black (I personally choose not to use it) and other Black people say it freely, that does not mean the word is okay for just anyone, regardless of race, to use in any context. Just because Vince didn’t say it to me or anyone directly, that doesn’t mean what he did is acceptable. To me, hearing a non-black person use the N-word any capacity is extremely personal because it’s been used towards me in a negative way by non-black people throughout my life. It also bothered me that Vince allegedly didn’t have the decency to even say “whoops, sorry I said/did that” when he was called out for it on the game stream and allegedly resorted to downplaying the situation and having people harass the person who called him out. I am not trying to play the victim but I am trying to educate y’all on his actions and to also let y’all know why some people don’t like him.

Another thing I’m going to note is that you cannot always automatically assume that someone you don’t know personally has put in the work privately over something they were exposed for publicly if they haven’t shown any public sort of proof of some growth. That means you can’t come to me and say “he may have learned from using that word” when there’s no public evidence anywhere that he has. If you choose to believe he has, then that’s your opinion. To me, Vince could have publicly shown some sort of growth by doing something as small as posting a blackout Tuesday post during the height of Black Lives Matter movement in June 2020 or liking a tweet of support from that time or maybe even participating in some of the Kraken’s Black history related stuff (like how Grubauer and Blackwell talked about Black hockey history with J.T. Brown and Everett Fitzhugh) (I know February is right around the corner with Black History Month and if Vince does something then, maybe my viewpoint on him may shift a bit). Yes, I did see a video of Vince talking about his thoughts on BLM and he did make valid points about how not everyone has to be posting online to protest injustice. However, Vince didn’t clearly say anything that showed he did something about it offline besides using an example of how if a rapper goes to a protest, everyone knows who the rapper is and if he were to go, no one would know who Vince is and also saying “who’s to say I’m not going to protests or donating to certain charities”, without saying he actually did those things. (A good example of a player being called out/exposed for something but fixing what they did is when Quinn Hughes didn’t use Pride tape once but later on, he used the tape and even made inclusive comments during the NHL pride tape controversy last season).

I AM NOT SAYING OR IMPLYING VINCE SHOULD BE CANCELED OR THAT HE IS A RACIST OR A HORRIBLE PERSON BUT HE SHOULD BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE BY HOCKEY FANS. Holding him accountable means that if you want to, you can still like him for the benefit that he has on your team or recognizing his talent or some of his community work but you can also remember what he did in the back of your mind. (Think about/keep that in mind when you post about him too).

I know that it’s not always easy to hold someone that’s on a team you like or someone you liked beforehand accountable (there are several players on teams that I like who help my team succeed and players that I’ve admired before but I don’t like or agree with certain, questionable things that they’ve done) but if accountability looks like no longer holding space for them on your blog through posts or putting them up on such a high pedestal in your life or to stop thinking they can no wrong, that’s fine too. Holding a player accountable looks different for everyone and there’s no set formula/guidelines for that.

If you still want to support him after seeing this post and watching the video below, then that’s on you. If you choose to not support him anymore or at all, that’s on you. However you choose to feel about it is valid and I respect that (even if I see it differently). I know that he’s never going to address or acknowledge this and I understand that it happened back in 2020 but his silence on the matter nor should the amount of time that has passed shouldn’t stop fans at all from holding him accountable.

(Again, this post is me sharing my opinion on something Vince did, educating those who may not have known about it and also reminding those who may have forgotten this happened. Again, I’m not saying or implying that he is a racist or should be canceled. All I’m trying to say is that he should be/start to be held accountable by hockey fans. We all hold our own bias when it comes to things and I’m not using this post to try to push anyone towards a certain side either. Again, I’m also not saying he’s a horrible person either. Interpret all of this information however you want/choose to.

Also, if you’re even thinking about sending me a hate anon for this, go touch grass or get better hobbies. Better yet, if you send me a hate anon, just know it’ll go into the trash with your garbage words.

Lastly, I am also going to say that I do not tolerate nor support/agree with anyone going after anyone who still chooses to support Vince or chooses not to support him and if you do that to someone, you’re a very scummy person. Also, I am not going to send anyone anything about this either because I got all of my thoughts out here and respect others’ opinions so if you somehow get a hate anon about it, it’s not from me because I dislike the feeling of getting one and wouldn’t want to put someone else through that).

Video Info:

Twitter/X Link to Video

Actual Video from Twitter/X for those who don’t use Twitter/X

[tdmtdmtd]

Holy shit

HOLY SHIT

COOLMATH GAMES ARG

Part 3 - I was fucking right > last post

Another new post was uploaded to the CMG Instagram AS WELL AS a new game to the CMG website AND a message from the CMG Team

Let's start with the Instagram post.

It's nothing too extraordinary, just a photo of the prototype on the homepage. But where the crack was is now a message from the team.

Which takes you to a blog with the URL "burn-after-reading", the title of the page is "The Secret Has Been Uncovered". And the name of the upload is "Read This Before They Take It Down!"

It's Maddie. Talking about everything that happened and that they found. But as I read through it, other than a summary of what we already know, there's also things that we didn't know but are interesting to take note. Like how, since day 2 of the post, they felt like there was some sort of monster lurking the office. Or on Day 6 when they tried to get the game running themselves, the last line was to sleep with one eye open. But Day 8, today, they upload the game, the post, and end the message with "Use the clues found on this blog, look for the words that stand out. This is the key to the whole thing! Seek the truth and you shall find it."

If you don't want me to spoil the game and go try it yourself, here's a link to the game and on to the post.

For those who don't care about spoilers, get ready.

In the blog there are quite a few words bolded and italicized, this list includes: Search, Monster, Found, Myself, Escape, and Darkness. Starting the game, there's something broken down in the bottom right.

The story is that the player was in the middle of the forest with some other people, left for a minute, and when you came back they were gone. Going straight forward, you see the Hangman Monster and then get eaten by him. The choice before there is a hat that looks like yours.

"Huh, this hat looks a lot like mine. I don't remember anyone in the group having a hat like mine..."

Right before that, there were some popped balloons. Going left or right anywhere, there are two things you can click, the main object, and a bug after you solve the main thing. Both give you balloons, but the bugs give you glitchy balloons. Getting all the balloons, glitchy and not, you get a choice of path

Going left, you see the monster, not just the face, the entire Hangman Monster. It has something to say.

This strange forest is something I once called my home. Yet when I descend further, I see things are not as they seem. This forest is like no other; we cannot stay. There is no other solution. Do not fear me, I want to become your friend. Perhaps we can escape together.

The monster's balloons lift him from the forest, and so do yours and after a few more words, the monster says join me and the screen fades to black. You do in fact have to refresh the page to do anything again.

Going right, the balloons make you float away like normal... like if you didn't get all the glitchy balloons. You are then given a hint to look deeper. A very... subtle... hint

You actually see the color change as it's being written, or, typed, I guess. The next button text changes to "Find Me?" and then you restart after clicking it. One last thing to note is the instructions of the game.

I have nothing to say about them, but anyway, I thought I'd bring it up anyway. Also, I feel like the name is some kind of code, but I'm not too sure what code if it is.

So there you go, the entire prototype, if there's another Instagram update or anything like that I'll make another post but this is it for now. For those who don't want to spend the time trying to solve the bugs I'll list them here: (sights, descend, other, appear, become, together)

[alfredo-swauce]

Wax Artist and the Fandom

Alright so I have a LOT to unpack right now with Wax Artist as well as the fandom and how they go about treating wax artist mains and the character as a whole. I would like to say before I start that I am black. However I main Wax Artist. I ended up spending like $300 to get his S tier skin, and then everyone found about about the whole Physiognomy bullshit. As someone who doesn't typically have that kind of money anymore, Its tragic HAHAHA like genuinely it sucks. Had I known perhaps I wouldn't have tried to get it. But I digress.

So what's the whole issue here other than Philippe being a racist? Well. I want to bring up a few points in this post about why I think half the shit the fandom says about him is stupid AND why I think attacking his players (who have no control over his story) is ridiculous and childish.

No one is taking an effort to reach out to devs about the psysiognomy. Like how are you gonna tell myself and other wax artist mains to kill ourselves or call us racist for playing a character that we LITERALLY cannot control. I've had like 3 people (including an old friend who said it as a "joke") call me a disgrace to black people for maining him. Yknow how bad that hurts? As someone who's of mixed race and doesn't feel like they fit in anywhere, that shit absolutely sucks.

People are asking for NE to remove Wax Artist from the game as a whole. Now this one, I can understand to an extent. However, many people do not want this. His backstory (MINUS PHYSIOGNOMY) is interesting, certain headcanons make his character so much more fun; like him just being a silly man who makes wax sculptures, etc. His character design is interesting and very pleasing, It really shows his mental and physical decline as well. All characters have some importance in the story, Wax Artists importance is unknown but I bet he plays a bigger part and will somewhere down the line.

Most white characters are likely racist depending on the time period. It's obvious that not everyone who's white in the game is racist, like historically not everyone was. However given the time period of some of these characters, there's a good chance they could potentially be racist. Now of course this doesn't excuse the fact that Wax Artist is problematic, but I feel like in a realistic sense people tend not to think about where these characters are from AND when they were/are alive. Do I want ANY of the characters to be racist? Absolutely not, but I do strongly believe that given the time periods, it wouldn't surprise me if more white characters had some sort of racist ideology that just wasn't brought up yet.

A lot of people aren't even aware of the racist undertone in Wax Artist's story. I have been playing Wax artist for over a year now and the amount of people I've met who don't even know Wax Artist's story is problematic is insane. Like I'll say he's racist and people are like "wait deadass??" It's nuts. I get these sort of encounters nearly everytime I talk to a player. It's important people know about this issue so we can push for change. I haven't seen a single person try to change his backstory and that fucking sucks. I've seen what we can do when we all come together, and this change could be made so quickly if we work together.

Perhaps there are other things that could've been said but these are the main ones that I think about. I GENUINELY believe we could make the change to Wax Artist's story if the fanbase just listens. I've tried countless time to spread the word on Twitter, but that proved to be a fruitless task. I'm hoping that here I could spread the word a bit more in asking that you email NE and ask them to remove physiognomy from his story as a whole, because believe me I 100% believe his story doesn't need this element at all. He could just be a criminologist who makes wax figures. Easy. So please PLEASE help me out here, I've been practically begging for months now and it's getting exhausting.

NE emails:

gameidentityv@global.netease.com

id5.bd@global.netease.com

or preferably you can comment on identity V's posts asking for the removal of physiognomy from his story. From here on out I'm just gonna keep asking for it every chance I get because otherwise they won't listen. My voice alone will not be enough, so please help out!

thank you so much for reading and I hope you consider helping out. This is very important to me and other wax artist enthusiasts.

[rosefrancaise8]

This is our last night in Sifnos and we have been talking about our time here.

We will miss the Geronificas Hotel that has been our spacious and generous home for the last 7 days. Maybe because we have outlasted a good number of other patrons or because it is obvious how much we love the place, we are now receiving free drinks, including a glass today of the Island’s herbal tasting liqueur on ice. We were collected from Kamares the night we arrived, completely unaware of how far the hotel was from the port - and have been assisted in many other ways since then to make our way around. We have never felt so at home in a hotel and have grown fond of everyone who works here for making us feel that way.

We will miss the people of Sifnos. We finally did visit the pottery workshop at nearby Narlis Farm today and the potter told us among other things that he had worked off the island when he was younger and had gone to a pottery festival in Crete but now cannot imagine living and working anywhere else. Working the sideways pottery wheel (as they all are in Greece) requires calmness and he can only find that here. His 12 month old daughter only lasted a week in Athens before pining for the chickens and goats of home. His grandfather never left the island, never even felt the urge to jump aboard a ferry at Kamares for another Cycladean Island. On a different theme, he also told us a very touching story about the 82 year old friend of his grandfather’s who taught him his craft as an apprentice when he was a young man for the price of an occasional home cooked meal and a glass of Ouzo. Our potter’s father and his grandfather before him were farmers - he took a different path, providing Sifnos with one of its 14 remaining pottery workshops (at one point there were 50). What David heard in that story was the natural and unselfconscious transmission of the craft.

Our taxi driver who now lives in Heronissos goes to Athens for one week once a year to have his car serviced and then high tails it for home. When asked if he ever visits any of the other islands he waves his hand dismissively as if to say, why would I need to do that? He has a point.

We will miss our afternoons by the pool alternately reading, writing and watching for movement in sea and sky, driven inside only when the evening’s cool breeze starts whipping our ankles and it is time for dinner.

We will miss the look of it - the hard-worked rocky hills; the evening lights coming on in the village of Kastro below us; the islands of Paros and Antiparos way off in the distance, sometimes looking like a smudge on the horizon and sometimes looking so close you could spit; and the numerous little churches that we now know are used mostly to celebrate feast days and which are looked after by different local families each year as the baton is passed. We will miss the white and the blue.

We will miss the food. We have had some terrific meals, many of them here at the hotel. I have never had better scrambled eggs and David would say the same about the omelette. Everything we have eaten here (and we have now sampled everything on a pretty extensive menu) has been cooked with such delicacy and care. Unlike some other patrons, we have not been enticed out to other villages for dinner - we have stayed steadfastly loyal. Lunch has been another matter - we enjoyed traditional and modern meals in Kastro (a carpaccio of octopus being an absolute stand out) and have eaten our body weight in Saganaki.

This is my last post as tomorrow we head back to Athens and then catch a bus to the airport. This 8th blog has been my longest. I didn’t intend for it to be. I thought that I would just carve out a section of the trip to write about but couldn’t bring myself to draw that line. I have had so much fun writing it and as with all my other blogs we will inevitably come to rely on it in time to fill in the memory blanks. Thanks very much for reading it.

[crystalelemental]

“books-are-my-life-stuff: I haven't even read Alola VA part 2! But it's hard to bring myself to read it. Hoenn VA gave Zinnia an important role and established her dynamic with Steven post Delta Episode, so that's at least good. Unova I think is still kinda cool too for focusing on Hugh and N's friendship. But I agree, I feel like Johto VA is the last objectively good VA story-wise. The rest of the VAs are either good to okay to "don't care", at least for me.

Unova was the last VA that I read immediately after release, starting from Kalos I just don't care. Maybe because of my general indifference towards the region, but even when I do read it, it doesn't do much to make me like it. I'll give Alola VA a credit for making Hau got his moments and approval from his grandpa, but other than that...yeah, I'm finding difficulties in bringing myself to read it.”

I think in my case, the issue is the later we go, the most the antagonists skew to lost potential rather than good or bad.  Like, Maxie and Archie I can look at and just go, these two are morons, do not take anything seriously.  Cyrus and Ghetsis I can look at and go these were really cool I hope they keep that up.  And they can, because they just continue to do what they’ve been doing, kinda.  Cyrus is toned down and Ghetsis basically defanged once everyone knows his deal, but they’re still something.  But as soon as you hit Lysandre, it’s suddenly man, I hope they do something different.  But they can’t.  They’re constrained by what the series is going to push.  And for Lusamine, that’s extremely devastating, because USUM Lusamine does not do it for me in her current iteration where they refuse to let her be interesting as a former antagonist.  So I can even say I know what I truly expected here, because what would’ve satisfied me was impossible, and it’s kinda the same for Rose, who I cannot image being adjusted to actually matter and have an interesting view.  So I’m kinda just over the VA and ready for the next thing, which hopefully will happen shortly after fourth anniversary.  Galar should be set for August just before. 

“I did say that Alola characters are great as a group, but not great individually, and this problem really shows, especially now that only some of them got alts and are separated from their group that they usually hang out with, they have to do something individually, and it...doesn't do much. I tried, but I can't. At least Hau is still great because he's one of the rivals, but the trial captains aren't.”

Yeah, I can’t even say they did anything as a group in the main games that hooked me, so seeing them here on their own hasn’t exactly been that exciting.  Like, at one point, I did kinda like Acerola as like the weird ghost girl.  And I find myself actively losing interest in her when she’s not like...playing off Nanu.  She’s a lot more bland without that dynamic.

“I doubt this will change even after I read part 2 of Alola VA, but my VA rankings so far: Johto > Kanto >> Unova > Hoenn >> Kalos > Sinnoh >> Alola.  I'm not holding out hope for Galar. Better keep my expectation on the ground or I'll be disappointed.”

I think for me, it’s probably Johto, Kanto, Kalos, Unova, Sinnoh, Hoenn, Alola.  Kalos ranks high because they let Lysandre ice those dudes.  Unova is fine but doesn’t really captivate me, and had what I consider the worst spread of new alts.  Sinnoh outranks Hoenn and Alola for me, because Hoenn and Alola were the most nothing events.  Borderline nothing was accomplished.  I’ll put Hoenn above Alola because it had some stuff with Zinnia and Steven’s dynamic, and because of how bad Alola was, but I think the real issue is I specifically should not be putting Kanto anywhere near the top.  But so long as Giovanni is the focus for the whole region, it gets to be good, because the story is focused.  It knows what it’s doing and it gets it done, because there’s nothing extraneous they’re trying to tie in, like other non-Kanto characters.  And that really sucks, because it’s just self-fulfilling prophecy at that point.  Oh, everyone likes Giovanni so much now?  Probably because he’s the only antagonist you let goddamned do anything.  If literally anyone else actually got spotlight to be the villain, he’d lose, because Giovanni is inherently boring an uninteresting, being just some mob boss guy interested in power and money compared to the absolute lunatics in the rest of the teams.

[indigo-villin]

I saw the fnaf movie.

I absolutely LOVED ITTT

There will be NO HATE for it on my account.

I loved the pillow fort part, they're KIDS in the suits makes sense, and if you say it isn't realistic with them being murderers, just assume it was to lure Abby to them for later. Literally EVERYTHING they did was understandable and funny/scary when it needed to be.

Foxy's dumdum doom song was suuper spooky to hear and seeing him attacking was also terrifying. Seeing Bonnie in the closet with that one guy was GREAT and absolutely terrifying. (Carl) Cupcake was terrifying and entertaining as a tiny chihuahua villain (you cannot convince me he isn't Susie's dog). The bite scene with Freddy shook me and was cool (even if it was only in silhouette, but meh pg 13 rating and all). It was cool seeing golden freddy too, seeing the kid and everything. Seeing vids of people hugging chica and her reaction to getting her cupcake messed with me for the movie kinda, like she was so sweet, even in the movie, until she was bringing Abby into the scooper type thing, like she legit scared me by that point. XD

Mike was cool, his story was interesting enough, I felt bad for him. Abby was a interesting with her dynamic with Mike and how she generally was as a proper character, the actress was very good. Honestly all of the kid actors did well I'm happy and proud of them for taking their roles as seriously as they needed to. Mathew Lillard did amazing as "Steve" my sis didn't go into the movie knowing anything about it past it being a fnaf movie and the twist with him got her. XD I knew the twist, but whatever, it was still a fun time seeing him. Vanessa was...well honestly I'm mixed on her.

Vanessa looked like she just had trauma with the place, I thought she was gonna be a sister to one of the kids, hence her hanging around and watching out for the guards. It was definitely a twist having her be Will's daughter, but given the theories people made about game Vanessa I kinda see where it would come in to play... The ONLY criticism with the movie I have is that her actions made no sense, even with knowing she's the daughter. One minute she's telling Mike as much as she can to attempt to get him to research for himself, then she's getting all huffy about him doing anything. I'm not gonna be having any other posts about how much she seemed to think ass backwards so here are ALL of my complaints on Vanessa:

Her choice to get mad at him for "not locking the place up" makes less and less sense when you consider WHAT door the thugs came through. Mike only had access to the MAIN door, the thugs came in through a garage door or something with a CROWBAR/other weapon, which she would've seen, not like the animatronics could've dealt with their vehicle. Her choice to demand an explanation for why Mike had sleeping pills at his work? Not a good look, she's not his employer so he has no legal reason to tell her shit. "Oh I have to write you up on letting some people come in and wreck the place" the place has SECURITY CAMS, and he was OFF DUTY last I checked if the security isn't there it isn't THEIR fault. IF ANYTHING it would be hers, she's the cop that patrols the place daily. Also THROWING MIKE'S PILLS INTO THE LAKE??? I'm sorry but as a chronically ill person myself, NO, anyone even touches my pills without asking I'm gonna rip em a new one. I don't know what med he had or the price for those kinda meds, but the guy is OBVIOUSLY BROKE, and just cause he said he used them for his dream theory stuff doesn't mean he didn't still need them for normal sleep at home. No instead she threw them in the lake and he had to spend anywhere from $120 USD to like $800 USD (I'm guessing but I'm still probably off since we don't know if he had insurance or not) later on in the movie. Also her getting upset with him having Abby, I get it she got hurt, but until that point (and hey if she had SAID don't touch the guitar NOTHING WOULD'VE HAPPENED) the animatronics were fine with her, they were having fun and enjoying themselves. Also telling Mike "I'll shoot you if you bring here again" did she really think he brought there for no reason? She's a kid, the animatronics are OBVIOUSLY dangerous, and even before that he knew the place had been WRECKED meaning he had to make the conscious choice to bring her into an old ass building that was destroyed to some degree, and she thought he took that choice LIGHTLY????? LIKE NO his usual babysitter got killed THANKS (not that he knew that). He was out his ONLY babysitter who the kid didn't despise with her whole being.

Alright Vanessa rant over, still a good movie I absolutely loved it, just slight irritations with Vanessa. ALSO bb scares were funny and I got spooked with the first one, had an internal spook reaction to the second, and the third I knew was going to happen kinda (knew a scare was coming, didn't expect it to be bb). My partner pretty much jumped at all three bb scares. XD

And finally, the spring lock scene, I wasn't sure it would actually be in the movie. I thought it being pg 13 (yes technically pg 15 in non-american theaters) we'd get a silhouette like the bite scene, but I was pleasantly surprised with it being a longer drawn out death. I say drawn out, but I just mean it was allowed to happen as slowly as it needed to be, it didn't take roughly two seconds for him to die. It took as long as it should've given what he did and how the characters felt about it. The kids got their revenge and it was long and painful for Willy, just as it should've been.

Also at the very end of the credits we get the voice that says letters and it spelled "COME FIND ME" which was cool to hear. Apparently there was a shadow freddy easter egg thing, so it was probably him saying it, but I don't know for sure.