#i cannot give you any advice if you're having a roommate

[schoenht]

Thank you so much man! Move in day is already on the 9th and I have to leave my job soon. I feel really bad because we’re short staffed and with me leaving until holidays it’ll be worse. ~ 🍩

OH WOW that's so close !!! idk if you're rooming or wtv but i'm so excited for you !!! mannnn that sucks like the guilt for that :( but i'm sure they're gonna be so excited when you return i'm sure you're a rlly good worker !!!

[knaveofmogadore]

Kfkdks

[andypantsx3]

hi!! i've been wanting to get into fic writing, and ur one of my top fav writers on this app so i just wanted to ask for ur opinion hshshhs specifically on finding the confidence to put ur writing out there; i've always been very sensitive of showing people my works, and this'll be my first time writing fics EVER so yeahhh

also what are your thoughts on getting interactions/growing your blog? or finding moots! i don't really spend /that/ much time on here but i really wanna start writing fics and this is the platform i'm most comfy with!!

hope ur having a great day andie!! 💖💖

Omg first of all hellll yeah!!!! I'm so excited for you to share your work, this community is generally a very lovely place filled with very lovely people, and there's no better place for you to share your work imho.

I don't have super solid advice as I have kind of fallen into a lot of this by mistake, rather than worked concretely towards anything (except growing my writing style--that I have worked hard on). But I will try to answer as best I can!! I hope these answers are helpful!!

1. Getting confidence to share your work

In terms of dredging up the confidence to share, my own personal drive was the isolation during the beginning of the pandemic, where I was dying for a connection other than my roommates lol. I wanted to connect with people who loved the stuff I loved, and I wanted to have fun messing around with a little escapist fantasy in hopes that other people needed it too.

While the pandemic has died down a little, I think the same motivation might work for you too. The reward of connecting with the people who love the same things you love, and who might like to read the same stories you love to write--that's powerful. Think of all the friendships, advice, and just pure and simple community connection you would be missing out on by not sharing!! You deserve all the love and the friendships that I know will come your way after publishing, you just have to open the door.

And I would also say, try making things as comfortable as possible for yourself before sharing, to make it easier. Since you say you're a little sensitive about sharing your work, I'd edit your blog and your ao3 fic notes to tell people you're not yet ready for constructive criticism. I can say from experience asking for concrit that most of it is actually not that constructive (or is at least misinformed about what concrit is) and it can definitely mess with your motivation to finish a story. So give yourself a buffer and let your first experiences publishing online be kind and gentle ones!!

2. Getting interactions/growing your blog

This is probably easy for me to say because I already have so much of the connection I originally desired, but the best advice I can give is try to find a motivational balance between wanting to share your writing, and wanting validation. I cannot emphasize enough how much it's going to suck if you premise your online writing career around other people's validation in terms of numbers of likes, reblogs, kudos, etc.

That is not to say there is anything wrong with wanting validation. I think it's completely natural to want those things, but I definitely recommend really asking yourself how that squares with the other aspects of writing; namely, how much you love writing and sharing that writing, regardless of other people's opinions. I've had to take 2 multiple-month-long hiatuses already when I started to crave numeric validation beyond anything--it seriously sucks all the fun out of fandom and absolutely destroys your mental health--and I don't want you to ever have to experience the same thing.

That disclaimer being said, there are a couple major things that I think fic writers do to maximize engagement/exposure.

Posting time is the biggest one--depending on where you are from and what audience you are targeting, you can research the ao3/tumblr posting times that will net you the most eyes on your post. I don't have any resources on hand but I can say from experience that posting during daytime weekend hours in the US, I usually get more initial reaction from people than if I post at night or during the middle of the week.

A lot of writers join zines, challenges, big bangs etc to meet other writers/artists, and to get their work in front of more people. I don't have good advice for joining zines or anything since I was just asked randomly one time, but I'm pretty sure there is a bnha zine bulletin tumblr that will let you know if there are zines opening admissions for new writers and stuff like that!! I would recommend digging around for something like that to see if there is anything that looks interesting to you.

3. Finding moots

This one is another one I don't have amazing advice for because I think almost every single moot I have found me. I never want to bother people so I usually don't initiate interactions unless I am EXTREMELY interested in what a person is posting, or unless it's clear that they actually do wanna talk to me.

But what my moots have done is literally just talked to me. Consistently and kindly, navigating the twisting rapids of my online awkwardness. Eventually, I have seen them enough on my posts or in my inbox to realize that they wanna be friends and they do want to interact regularly. So I would recommend doing just that. If there's someone you admire or want to be friends with, interact with them first! Ask them questions and try to get to know them, and make it clear that you're not just being nice--you do wanna be friends.

I think a bunch of people also run discord servers and stuff like that that you can join where you can chat more intimately with people and get to know them as friends rather than just blogs. I would dig around on peoples' pages to see if they're in any kind of server you would be interested in too.

And usually with friends comes their friends, too, which is how I have moots I am not super close with but like and respect and know peripherally. So keep your heart open to them too, and soon you will have yourself a lovely circle of moots!!

Anyway this was a lot. I hope at least some of these answers are helpful!! I'm wishing you tons of luck and sending you my best vibes, and I'd be super happy to read your fic if/when you're ready to share!

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

I'm just looking for advice or just to get this all off my chest

Tws: sucidial ideation? Major depression

My depression has gotten so much worse recently. I've turned 18, I'm almost 19 and I'm moved out of my parents house living with two roommates. I've been diagnosed with depression since I was in about 6th grade but lately it's been so much worse. Being an adult is a lot more depressing than I ever thought it would be and I've been questioning the point of life a lot and no matter what I do I just can't seem to enjoy the things I used to and I don't want to do anything.

I want to make it clear that I don't have any plans to kill myself, but life feels so pointless to me. I'm working two jobs so I don't have much time for anything else and I can't just take a few days off because I need the money, it feels like all I do is work and sleep and that's not a life I want to live. I live in America and the economy seems so bad that I wonder if I'll ever be able to afford a house or to go to college or not work so much or even just be able to rent my own place without a need for roommates. I have antidepressants but I've been off of them since about last May because I need a refill but I've been jumping through hoops trying to get a refill and I still haven't.

-E

Hi E,

I'm sorry to hear that your depression is worsening. You're right that there are many hopeless aspects of adulthood, and you have very reasonable concerns about housing, the economy, and affordable education. It's difficult to realize the state of the world without it making you depressed. Especially when you have little free time, it's easy to feel like you're slaving away and not living to the fullest. It may be useful to consider that, unfortunately, privileges such as free time, education, and housing cannot be fully appreciated without knowing what it is like not to have these.

Part of maintaining your mental health as an adult can mean trying to focus on the positive as much as possible. There is a lot in this world that is broken, and our human brains are not built to fully comprehend what is going on right now. But there is a lot in this world that is wonderful, and a lot in this world that is improving, and you have the opportunity to be a part of that force, or to at least hold out hope that things can continue to improve.

I know you mentioned you are prescribed antidepressants, and I'm not sure if you were prescribed by a PCP or psychiatrist. If possible, I strongly recommend reaching out to a mental health professional such as a therapist of psychiatrist about these thoughts, as they can give you much more personalized and consistent care.

-Bun

[s0urk]

I'm probably gonna have each fic update parallel to one another but considering "IJMWY/it's rewrite because what the fuck was I thinking when I wrote that)" takes place a bit further in the time line it'll get less frequent updates compared to "Drills And Knives" and "I Know That You're Sick" which uhh I can't even like give a proper update schedule :,)

But now that I don't have summer classes (at least for now) I can write since I have literally nothing else to distract me except for the 3 games I got because steam summer sale is fucking witchcraft.

Anywhooo I might cut the first chapter for the rewrite off here and if not it'll be around its normal 4k words or something

I'm still gonna leave the og version up but just not have it listed as part of the LoveSick Au series. It was my first try at smut and even though I hate it I'm not gonna get rid of it cause memories lol

As for Drill and Knives chapter 2...

This has also happened with a one shot I'm working on and I'm able to still open the file if I make a copy of it but it's still a bit annoying and nerve wracking to see that.

Anyways

I've been mentioning one shots (watch half of these turn into just regular multichapter stories.) a lot so imma just clue you in on what I have in store because I am physically unable to resist talking about any project I'm writing-

An alien fleeing from a first contact gone wrong and a human who now has a alien roommate; it will be pretty fluffy so do not fret! I can't say the same about some of the others here tho lol...

A tired hero and an energetic villain who have a weird and slightly concerning relationship.

Guy sleeping over at his best friend's house and his friend's cool older brother that he wants to ask for advice on girls, kissing and love in general.

A boy on his way to his grandmother's encounters a wolf in the forest who seems to take a liking to him. YES it is little red riding good inspired, these dynamics have a fucking choke hold (in a kinky way of course) on me.

An half orc fumbling through pining over a very cute elf

A fic about two characters from an rp I'm in because I cannot resist

And if you think any of these will be finished soon YOURE WRONG!! (maybe the third one idk but still-)

That should mark the end of my plans and recent activities I probably forgot something since I have the memory of a pet rock.

I must stop drawing the characters and actually fucking write their stories.

Anyways I'm gonna go write now lol

[pompadourpink]

Hi! I turned 18 a few months ago. Before my 18th birthday I was a “kid”. They treated me like a one. As soon as I turned 18, I became an “adult”. All of a sudden I was treated like a one. Yesterday no one would listen to me, today they want me to give voice to my words. For them, sometimes I'm a kid, sometimes I'm an adult. For them, sometimes I'm wet behind the ears, sometimes I have to deal with things all by myself. I'm so confused. They have never let me be an adult before. They never prepared me for adulthood. What am I supposed to do? Is what I am saying important or it isn't important because I don't know anything about life yet?

Hello,

Good news: you are absolutely not alone.

Many people here fail their first year of university (myself included) because they go from having to ask permission to go to the bathroom to living by themselves, getting to choose when they wake up and go to bed, being expected to pay rent, bills, deal with roommates, in full charge of their chores, food, laundry, having to save, buy couches, get into relationships, find friends, etc. in two months and all that freedom is so overwhelming that they overheat and have a breakdown. Imposter syndrome is a common consequence of this type of education and I remember feeling like a crook when I got my first jobs after somehow nailing interviews, laughing hysterically after buying my first car, or being dumbfounded when my dad asked me if I thought he should retire or continue working, a few years ago.

Because I didn't feel worthy of any of it.

Everything you feel and think is important - whether people take it seriously or not is another problem. Sometimes you will genuinely not be able to provide a mature answer because there are things you haven't experienced yet, some other times it will just be a case of you being considered too young to use your brain by boomers. And if you are a minority, you'll pay the price too.

Here's some advice:

Don't be afraid to communicate when you're upset, but don't burn bridges. Stay calm even when people don't deserve it. Anger, envy, frustration, bitterness, will not serve you, they'll make you constantly miserable, can ruin your reputation (which cannot be undone) and might have long-term consequences. If someone is attacking you, depending on the situation, ask them very softly what the problem is and how you two can fix it together, or ignore them and walk away if it's a possibility. Bullies get bored when victims don't engage.

Learn how to cook. 100% the most useful skill you can learn.

Read the posts I linked below and spend some time on Youtube, Wikihow, Reddit, etc. to learn about 1/ finances, 2/ nutrition/health, 3/ anything domestic you might need (sewing, grooming, cleaning, meal prepping, etc).

Living with roommates for at least a year or two, while annoying, is a very teaching experience that I would recommend. You need to personally witness how other people live, and treat their interior, bodies, finances, etc.

Start working out regularly so you can die old and healthy.

If someone you know personally makes you feel disrespected, set boundaries immediately. They can't get away with it. Discuss it right away, explain why you think it's unfair, and ask for an apology. If you can't get one or are getting ridiculed, it's evidence that this person is around you for the wrong reasons. When people tell or show you who they really are, believe them the first time.

*

Other posts:

Adulting: stuff you need to buy, I don't know what to do with my life, advice for teenagers, starting over alone, Murphy's law: be proactive or burn, things to start doing when you turn 18, money education 101, invest in yourself, feed yourself well, stop procrastinating, put yourself first, it doesn't only happen to others, grooming 101, pick your battles, the truth about discipline, advice for young women, one day,

Self-dev: becoming an eloquent speaker, making yourself happy, you do you, about priorities, you're better than you think, labels aren't a good idea, overcoming obstacles and fear, confidence over appearance, advice to my 15-year-old self, getting your sense of self back, battling insecurity, dealing with hatred, the importance of gratitude, battling frustration, battling bitterness/entitlement,

Health: battling depression, wanting kids when sick/disabled, why you shouldn't give up, don't be your own bully, coping mechanisms, help I'm overwhelmed, living with mental illness, dealing with anger, dealing with a horrible job, social media isn't real,

Business: moving abroad, career picking, work/life balance, creating a study schedule, you're not their parent, your boss isn't your friend, happiness vs capitalism, careers are messy, language studying, facing injustice, you are not a robot, fear of public speaking, reaching your goals, about teaching, being your own boss,

Relationships: you're not his maid, finding a good partner, making friends, healthy relationships, surviving a breakup, dealing with family, codependency, green and red flags in relationships, healthy boundaries, about age gaps, craving for love, my partner or my dreams?, making friends online, you do look amazing, beauty is meaningless, no need to rush, relationships are everything, surviving being ghosted, dating 101,

More: art isn't meant to be useful, becoming a runner, how to adult 101 (phone calls, job searching, prepping for interviews, to-do lists, etc.), adopting a senior cat.

Love,

Mum

[loquaciousquark]

I hope you're doing well! I know you posted about a stressful situation last month, and I hope it's resolved itself. Sending good wishes you you and Hamlet!

Thank you so very much for checking in on me! I really do appreciate it. An update to that post under the cut.

Carol, who moved in with me on May 28, is still here. Right now, we have set a tentative move-out goal of the first or second week of August, but this is pending an apartment application that she hopes to finalize on Monday and a job situation that is a complete mess.

Basically, according to my limited understanding, Carol is licensed to teach in Florida. Alabama has a reciprocity clause with Florida, but it must be applied for. Carol has recently begun this process, but her teaching license(s?) is (are?) set to expire in December unless she passes certain exams. She’s already passed one for...general middle and high school teaching, I think, but failed a math exam. She has an art history exam Monday afternoon and expects to pass. I hope so, because she’s been doing nothing but watching Netflix and shopping for houses for the last few days in her new 2017 Jeep Cherokee.

I remain unspeakably grateful to my parents for teaching me financial literacy, because until I witnessed Carol’s decision-making, I had no idea how hard it was for some people to not spend money unwisely. 

As a reminder, Carol is dead broke. She has $153,000 in debt across student loans, medical bills, Czech and US taxes, and some personal loans she would like to repay to friends for helping her. She is unemployed and has no support from her family and has relied on couch surfing at friends’ and acquaintances’ homes since last summer for housing. Since moving in with me, she has been trying to find somewhere to live that would accept her with all her debt and her nonexistent US employment history for the last ten years. Based on what she’s said, I think she has about $9k in the bank--or did, until last week.

In short, she needs a car, a job, and a home, and as far as I can tell she doesn’t care which order they come in.

Two weeks ago, she was offered a position in a rural town about 30 minutes from where I live. It’s a small, very country town which desperately needs a special education teacher, something I think Carol really does have a passion for. However, because she hasn’t finished the reciprocity licensure application yet, they’re having a lot of roadblocks with her paperwork, compounded by the fact that when she left Prague last year, she left all her important documentation behind: things like her birth certificate, her social security card, and her letters of recommendation, which for some reason she did not have electronic backups of. The principal has been trying to get what she needs from Carol for two weeks. Carol is constantly saying that things are “in process” but has nothing to show for it.

As far as we can tell, the job is still hers, but the school year starts August 13th and she still hasn’t been approved by the Board of Education because the paperwork is still not finished on her end. She did not attempt to replace her birth certificate or social security card until they needed it for the application. (Her friend in Prague--and I am beginning to realize she uses the word “friend” for anyone she’s met longer than sixty seconds), who frantically packed up all her belongings when she realized she would not be able to go back to the city, cannot ship her belongings or go through them for the important paperwork until next summer, as she and her husband are currently vacationing in Rome for a year.

Carol decided last night she is also going to apply for some online Department of Defense position--I didn’t understand the details and don’t really want to know, except that it’s also teaching and some administration. We’ll see how it works out. She is growing increasingly annoyed at the principal’s requests for paperwork completion, which baffles me.

So, job: shrug? Maybe?

Car next, then, but this whole mess also goes back to the financial literacy thing. My parents have always been extremely frugal (pennywise, as my dad would say), and from childhood they made it very clear to us to not buy things you couldn’t afford. They’ve never had a car payment in my memory, and they paid off their house about ten years ago. This means they drove a lot of junkers for a very long time, and for a very long time we had very few vacations, but now they’re fully financially stable and debt-free and my mom has a car that she drove off the lot brand new that they paid cash in hand for. 

If I had been in Carol’s situation, I would have found a cheap, mostly reliable used car that probably wasn’t going to explode on me and drive that as long as I could while saving up for housing. I did in fact drive her to look at several used cars, most of which would have been even outside my expected budget (hers, as it happens, is larger even than that, because one of her overseas friends was willing to contribute $5000 to the cost of a vehicle). (I paid $6500 for my current car, a 2004, in college in 2012 with 70,000 miles on it at the time, and have driven it ever since.)

She rejected all of them because they did not have good “energy” and “feelings.” One she was willing to buy at $3700, but told the seller to go pay for his own inspection (once I explained to her what mechanical inspections were as a concept), so they ghosted her. She also is extremely afraid of head gasket failure--I don’t know why, since she knows nothing about cars--and has assumed all vehicles she has driven are on the verge of it, so after the first week she refused to even look at a vehicle without a warranty.

This means she exclusively limited herself to used dealership options, which I’m just going to come right out and say was monumentally stupid. I don’t know if any car dealers follow me, so I’m sorry if I am misperceiving this, but in my experience almost every dealer I’ve gone to has been aggressive, manipulative, and extremely predatory in their interest rates. I cannot think of a riskier course of action in abject debt than to try to cut a deal with a car dealer for the sake of a warranty I doubt will cover that much truly expensive failure in the long run anyway.

On Thursday, Carol bought a $20,000 2017 Jeep Cherokee from a dealership down the road. I don’t know what she put down. I do know she did not use her friend’s money (why not??) and I know her interest rate on the car loan is 4%, which she is extremely proud of and which horrifies me. She also “persuaded” them into a limited warranty that will cover the vehicle up to 100,000 miles (currently at 42k, and they ~only offer it for cars under 40,000 miles~). I can’t tell you how bad an idea I think all this is.

Thursday night, as she was regaling me with stories of her negotiating prowess, she also tells me she has decided to buy a house. She’s sick of renting, and somehow, someone somewhere managed to get her approved for up to $120,000 in a home loan. She already has $150k in debt, another $20k from the car, and now wants to buy a house. She was delighted that she could make the minimum 7% down payment, even though it would wipe out every cent she has left and leave her less than $500 to her name for moving expenses, utilities, food, title registration, etc. afterwards.

She doesn’t even have a secure job yet.

However, this plan seems to have fallen through. She went out with a realtor several times this weekend and came home the last time in great, heaving sobs, because she can’t find the 3bed 2bath she wanted in her price range. (For reference, most homes in this area go between 200k - 250k right now for 2-3bed 2ba, and the closer you get to the city--I have about a 20 minute commute--the higher it gets. My next door neighbor sold her 3bed 2.5ba for >300k three months ago, and Carol knew this.) She was absolutely devastated that the only things in her range were “tiny little ugly flipped houses” and “the ghetto.” The realtor basically said she wasn’t going to waste any more of her time. Carol repeatedly told me how grateful I should be that I got in at the price point I did a few years back, because no “normal people” could ever afford to break into the market again.

I tried to tell her that it was because I lived in with a roommate in very cheap housing and then a cell of a 1bed 1ba apartment for eight years while I saved money, but if nothing else, I’ve learned I’m not allowed to compare our situations or histories or offer advice of any kind except “go ahead and buy what you want,” because that only makes her cry harder. In the end, she has decided to give up on the house for now and settle for the absolute last thing in the world she wanted, an apartment with a lease.

To be honest, until she has a signed contract in hand, I half-expect this lease to fall through as well. I have tried to offer what I think is sensible advice and been ignored or rebuffed. I have tried to offer a sympathetic ear and ended up with her sobbing uncontrollably on me--heaving, body-wracking sobs--over and over again with me trapped in my own home, providing endless emotional support for a girl I don’t even like. I have tried to encourage her to do the things she wants to do, since she’s going to do them anyway, and when she gets “negative energy” after the purchases (buyer’s remorse, I think, that one little inkling of sense saying maybe it wasn’t a great idea to buy a $20,000 car or an $1100 brand new iPhone without a job), she blames it on the exact thing I said I thought might be good and makes me feel like I have now directly contributed to a negative outcome after poor decision-making.

For the record, when she says these things to me she is not saying, and has never said, them directly at me. She has never blamed me in any way for a negative outcome. She is not consciously trying to manipulate me or abuse me or take advantage of my help. She has never once asked me for money or job connections or for me to use any of my stability to unfairly or unethically get her something she needs. She is just completely absorbed in her own (rightfully absorbing) mess of a situation, and I think just completely unaware of how much of an emotional black hole she has become. There are no problems except her problems. There are no needs except her needs, and everyone around her has to understand how hard she has it at all times. 

So, we’ll see. I am praying that the apartment works out next week. The owner seems to want to work with her, which is a hopeful sign. Good thoughts would be appreciated.

--

Aside from all of this, work has gotten extremely complicated. I’m not going to go into all of it now, but one of my jobs is to create an extremely detailed schedule for students in clinic. This is used to schedule patients in each service--if we have this many students, we can have this many patient slots per half-day, etc. Last week, two students were out unexpectedly, one who broke her arm the day before she was supposed to begin, and one who had a terrible anxiety attack and thought the symptoms were actually COVID. That student was tested and cleared negative, but Student Health requires a two-week quarantine anyway, so she was not allowed to return.

This meant that we now had multiple patients per day with no one to see them. We tried to reschedule as many as we could, but we still ended up with multiple overbooks. This is extremely stressful for me as both a provider, an instructor, and a human being who hates having other people wait on her in a professional capacity. We got through the week, but not without several painful bumps, and it’s looking like there will be more soon.

I also woke up to an email this morning that one of my favorite students (yes, I have favorites, I’m sorry), had a completely unexpected death in the immediate family and had to rush home. This is a very, very sweet, very smart girl who has worked unbelievably hard over the past year to do well in this program and in my courses, and I am just devastated for her. One of her friends is willing to cover her clinic, so the impact will be minimal on that side, but to have this happen during this country’s hellhole handling of this pandemic...I can’t even imagine it.

All of this isn’t even touching COVID. The President’s side has won in that sense--I don’t even register the numbers anymore--but as of last week our dean sent out messaging that implied that with our state’s failure to contain the spread, new discussions were going to be happening soon regarding our August start. We already had committed to full hybrid scheduling: all lectures online, in-person labs only where absolutely necessary to continue advancement in the program, and those labs limited to two per room with full PPE, but if they decide even that can’t happen, I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do. I cannot make competent doctors over Zoom. I can’t. At some point they have to touch other people and look at other people’s eyes. They have to be able to check real, in-person blood pressure. They have to look at genuine eye movements and ocular surfaces in person and I cannot and will not let them enter clinic until they have the practice and the time and the practicals behind them. I fucking refuse to endanger the public for sixty years because someone in an office somewhere decided a timetable is more important than a patient keeping their ability to see, and I’m ready to fight administration on this if they try to push it.

But if I win the fight, what next? They just...don’t enter clinic next year. They don’t enter my program. I don’t know what they do in the meantime, as this lab meets four mornings a week and the lecture twice. The course is delayed until next year or whenever we have the virus under control again, and suddenly my fall semester sure looks like I’ll be being paid to stay at home and count carpet fibers. I don’t think they’ll fire me--no one else wants to teach my course anyway--but if I win this fight I might put myself right into furlough in the process.

I could be borrowing trouble, I know. They could come back and say that after review, our system and safety protocols (all extremely conservative) are indeed safe enough and we can proceed as we want. They could say that our limited in-person option for lectures (we have several gigantic lecture halls that could easily socially distance) is the only thing that needs to go. They could say that we just need to have smaller lab groups--hellish on me, but doable.

But it’s one more element of stress in my life that I just can’t handle worrying about right now, which is why I’ve been bouncing back and forth between random fics and oneshots (that mermaid one was feverishly written on a single evening Carol spent at her mom’s house) and pouring an ungodly amount of hours into Animal Crossing. At least there I have some control over what happens next.

Sorry, guys. I know this is not the happy update I was hoping for. I’ll try to check in again next month and we’ll see where things end up.

[jaybeartodd]

Hey!! i loved your Colleagues story! I'm starting out as a new writer and would appreciate if you had any tips for writing? Also how you started out as well! I understand if you're not comfortable about this, feel free to not answer. Thanks!

Oh my goodness thank you so much! So this is my second attempt at writing this response because Tumblr decided to delete my first one haha yeah not fun. Anyways, I am not sure I am 100% qualified to give advice but I will surely try! Thank you so much for trusting me! It means a whole lot! 

So I will begin with how I started writing. I wasn’t sure if you meant on here or if you meant in general so I thought I would do both?? (Sorry if I am completely missing the point). I began writing when I was pretty young for a funny reason actually. I have always loved to read but I get super frustrated because I read so fast that I am just barreling through books. One day I was like oh wait why don’t I just write my own?? And BAM! I did and I realized I loved it! Now I got started on here because I was having a rough time with school and friends and sunk pretty low. I was sitting in class, not feeling great, when I started to jot down why I was upset and I slowly began feeling better. I hadn’t written anything in awhile because of so many other responsibilities so I decided to dive back in it and created this blog. This blog has kinda been a reward for getting through the day or getting that assignment done or what have you. And I am so so so glad I decided to create it because I have met so many awesome people like you! And I am back to my home of writing and I will probably never let it go again.Now for stuff I have learned through the years 

1. Write for yourself

This is the first time I have ever showed anyone any of my writings so I have always written for my own amusement and wasn’t too concerned with notes. As time went on, however, I became increasingly more concerned and actually made myself upset over it. I decided to reread through my stuff to find problems but instead became engrossed in my own story all over again. I realized I didn’t want to change a damn thing because I am enjoying it. For me, it is key to remember I was given this story to tell so I know it better than anyone else. That does not mean in anyway that I shouldn’t take criticisms, they are key to writing, but I don’t want anyone to ever jeopardize the integrity of my story. I want to continue to look back at it and be proud. 

2. Jot down ideas

I am pretty sure my roommate hates me now for getting up in the middle of the night and typing obscure notes into my phone. I started doing this, though, because I kept having all of these ideas and I would let them disappear into the abyss that should be my memory. There is actually an ending to Colleagues that the world, including me, will never know because I was too lazy to write it down. My margins in all of my notebooks are filled with random writings such as quotes, dialogue, character ideas, plot ideas, poems, etc. It helps a lot when I get stuck in a story to go through all of my musings and draw inspiration from them.

3. Read through works similar to your own

I often browse through other fics and find their strengths. Then, when I am writing my own stuff I am like well this story had a good — does mine? It helps me work on skills that I am not particularly sharp on but other people are so I let them lead by example. Also, there are great posts on here dedicated to helping writers so sometimes I look up writing references or writing advice and these can be super helpful. One of the greatest parts of writing is that you will continue to grow alongside other writers.

4.It is okay to delete scenes but copy and paste them somewhere else

Sometimes a scene just did not fit the particular context I was writing in but I would write it out anyways and store it somewhere else. More often than not, I return to it and, with some editing, fit it neatly into another story. Everything you write is important even if at a particular moment it doesn’t feel like it.

5. Have fun and do not let anything hinder your imagination

I am literally the biggest fan of the imagination and I will defend it until the day I die. It stretches to places impossible for us to physically go and that is so damn cool. It can see the workings of the world when the human eye can’t and some of us are just lucky enough to be able to write it down. So keep writing and have confidence and I cannot wait for you to flourish! I hope this was a little helpful and it is by no means finite, you do what you are comfortable doing. Please feel free to message me with any further questions!

P.S. Sorry this was so long omg

[norafmoore]

A Port in a Storm

If you are at all interested, I have posted Chapter 1 of a longer fic. The link to the AO3 piece is at the bottom. Arames stared at the canvas ceiling to his tent, trying to make sense of his life. Or the past several weeks, at least. Leaving his family and clan. Traveling across the Waking Sea. Hiding in a seemingly endless rotation of stolen mercenary gear or servant's garb. He could have passed for a Circle mage if it had not been for the vallaslin on his face, so faint one could barely see it. Though few Circle mages, if any, would have been with a clan long enough to obtain their vallaslin and then be sent to a Circle. But anything was possible. The world had changed. A Grey Warden abomination had blown up the Kirkwall Chantry. The Circles had been dissolved and Templars had abandoned the Chantry. And he was simultaneously a prisoner and the savior of Thedas. A part of him was glad he had undergone only the first markings for his vallaslin. It would be easier to blend in. Creators, he had already been mistaken for a servant several times at Haven. One unsuspecting fellow made the mistake of calling him a knife ear within earshot of Cullen. The Commander could be quite formidable when angered. Arames found him distracting. The travel and tents were nothing new. Though he did miss the familiar rumble of the Aravalls and the gentle bleats of the grazing Halla. But that was were the familiarity stopped. He knew nothing of the world of men nor their Chantry. Before the Conclave, his contact with humans had been limited. He had never met a dwarf or Qunari before encountering Varric and Iron Bull. They were at least open to Arames' endless questions. He had been less successful talking with Solas or Sera. The former viewed the Dalish as children making up stories, while the latter steered clear of anything “too elfy.” Whatever that meant. Sometimes he could pretend that he was still with his clan. That his hand did not glow or ache with a newfound magic he could barely contain. He could pretend his sister’s magic had not manifested, leaving their clan with four mages. But it was harder with his current roommate. Bull snored loudly next to him and muttered in an unfamiliar language. Qunlat, probably. The large Qunari's presence reminded Arames that it did not matter. He was here now. He would have left his clan no matter what. Better the Herald of Andraste than a mercenary or worse. He wondered if he would have resorted to selling his body, as so many Dalish had done before. Based on the offers from the more unsavory merchants their clan ran across, he'd fetch a good price. Didn't matter now. Whether or not he believed in a Maker, he was tied to this organization for the rest of his days. And now time magic and a Magister in Redcliffe. Creators, what was next? A Tevinter ally, for one. Arames played they day over and over again, trying to remember what he noticed first. Everything, it seemed. From the man's impressive display of magic, to his crooked smile, to the mischievous glint in his eyes, Dorian was occupying more than a fair amount of space in Arames' mind. Arames rubbed his eyes. He heard a soft rumble next to him. He glanced over, Bull was awake and grinning over at him. “That ‘Vint on your mind?” “How did you—?” Bull chuckled. “He seems your type.” “Is it that obvious?” Arames sighed. “No, Boss, it isn't. Ben-Hassrath, remember? But enough of the serving girls have been falling over you the last few weeks and the only more oblivious person in Haven might be Cullen. And he's got his own reasons.” “Fair enough. It doesn't bother you, does it?” “Me? Nah. None of my business. Frankly, Boss, it's no one's business. Anyone gives you a hard time let me know and I'll set ‘em straight. Sort to speak.” Arames let a few moments of silence before speaking up again. “What are your thoughts on Dorian?” Bull grunted. “He is pretty. But so are most dangerous things.” “That's what Blackwall said about Vivienne. How the poisonous snakes are always more colorful.” “There’s truth in that. I wouldn't cross Viv.” Arames sat up and looked Bull in the eyes, or eye, as it were. “I do not always make the best decisions…” He stammered. “Aww, sure you do. Look you're just a kid, Boss. You're—how old again?” “Twenty, barely.” “Yeah. When I was your age they were sending me out to Seheron. It's hard to have this kind of power or authority when you don't feel like you earned it. But you've got good instincts. The important thing is to listen to those around you. Don't just decide you know best. A good leader takes advice and suggestions and makes adjustments. Just keep doing that.” “Thanks, Bull.” “No problem, Boss.” The Qunari yawned and stretched. He took up most of the tent. Arames found it comforting. A few minutes passed when Bull startled Arames. “Don't worry, Boss. You'll see him again.” Arames bit his lip. "Creators protect me, I hope so." Bull was right. Dorian burst through the doors in the back of the Chantry with more flair and swagger than Arames could have imagined. His confidence was awe inspiring. And seductive. Cullen wanted none of it. It was not strategic to risk the one means of closing rifts in a futile attempt to get mages to close the Breach. Arames felt reckless. His life had been forfeit since he awoke with the mark on his left hand. Wasn't it only a matter of time? And while he had grown used to the quiet ache in his hand, the jaw pain was irritating. But Dorian had promised a means to get Leliana's people inside. Which meant a chance at actually getting the mages to join the Inquisition. Arames recalled his time in Redcliffe only a few days prior. Many of the free mages were elderly, infirm, or children. One small girl reminded him of his sister. And then the tranquil. Sera had picked the lock on a whim, hoping to find something worth selling when she stumbled upon a room filled with skulls, gemstones jammed into the eye sockets. Ocularum, Solas had called them. Made from the skulls of tranquil and mounted on to wooden stakes all over Thedas. Arames had run out of the room to vomit. Sera soon joined him. Bull rubbed his back. “Watch the boots, Boss.” Arames nodded and heaved. “I thought they were with the rebel mages,” Cassandra muttered as she left the cabin. She shook her head and looked over at Bull. “I should have looked harder.” Arames wiped his mouth and spat on the ground. He took a swig from Varric’s water skin to rinse out his mouth. “We cannot let Alexius keep the mages.” Cassandra nodded. He repeated it in the War Room. There were too many lives in the balance. Cassandra and Leliana agreed. Cullen acquiesced. So Arames had given the orders and now Dorian was sitting across from him at the Seagull as they went over their plans one last time. “I will accompany the assassins through the hidden entrance and disable any of Alexius’ wards or other security measures.” Arames nodded. “While Cassandra, Bull and I go through the main entrance and provide enough of a distraction to allow you safe passage. Meanwhile, Varric and Sera,” Arames pointed at the dwarf and young elven archer, “will wait at the Inn. If we don't come out after…how long was it?” “Two hours,” Sera said. “We agreed on three,” Varric corrected her. “Should be two,” she grumbled. “Creepy mages…” “After three hours, if there is no news, they send word however they can to Haven. By any means necessary.” They nodded in affirmation. “I do not like putting you at risk,” Cassandra fretted. “None of us do,” Bull countered, “but it's a necessary risk. Provided you do your job.” Bull leveled his gaze on Dorian. For just a moment Arames saw uncertainty in the handsome Tevinter man’s face. But then it was gone. “Of course I can.” His eyes traveled and lingered on Arames, as if seeing him for the first time. Arames smiled. Dorian smiled back, his eyes studying the Herald of Andraste. Arames was used to people staring. They had done so his whole life. His eyes were often the first feature people would comment on. Icy green, the color of elfroot in a frost, with flecks of blue. They seemed to simply reflect light wherever he was. Like a cat. If it was not his eyes, then it would be his hair. Arames was grateful he had cut his hair when he came to Ferelden. He had started growing it when he had been named Keeper Deshana’s apprentice. He got less attention with his hair cropped close to his scalp. He thought of it as simply brown, but thanks to a particularly persistent young server in the Haven tavern he had learned it was a rich chestnut, with streaks of auburn and gold. His skin was tanned from the sun, and soft freckles adorned his nose, which offset his full lips, high cheekbones, and square jaw. He felt heat creep up his neck as he felt the intensity of Dorian’s gaze. Bull had described Dorian as pretty. And he was. He was tall, with broad shoulders and was strong, especially for a Mage. Mostly because Dorian used his staff as a physical weapon, not just a means to concentrate his magic, chiseling the man’s upper body. Bull would likely have some competition with the pretty young girls in Haven. Bull slung an arm over Arames’ shoulder. “Boss,” he whispered gently. Arames looked up at the giant next to him and then back at Dorian. The mage was suddenly studying his hands intently. Cassandra was scowling and Varric and Sera were sharing a bemused expression. “Oh, Creators,” Arames muttered. “It wasn't that long.” Bull whispered, smiling. “But there was that thing you wanted to do.” Arames cleared his throat. “Sera.” “Yes, all-touched Herald?” She had a wicked grin. “I have something I need you to do. It's important.” Her smile faded and she scowled. “What is it?” He pulled an envelope from his tunic and handed it to her. “Should I…should I not return, I need you to make sure that this gets to my clan. To my sister.” “All right…” She said. She studied the letter suspiciously. “You have a sister?” Cassandra did not try to hide her surprise. Arames nodded. “Two, actually. Both younger. But Izzy, she's only twelve. She's…fragile. She should know what became of me. And that she should run.” “Why'd you leave then, if she's so fragile?” “Keeper Deshana will take care of her. It is better that I am not there.” It was the first time he had mentioned his clan or any family to other members of the Inquisition. For the first time since he awoke in shackles he felt like crying. “Please, Sera. It is import to me. If anything happened to her.” His voice cracked. Bull squeezed his shoulder. “Yes, fine.” She stuffed the letter somewhere. “Thank you.” They sat in silence. Finally Arames cleared his throat and stood up. “Well, shall we head up to the castle?” http://archiveofourown.org/works/8757226/chapters/20073634