#i cant do this anymore i fear | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seung-mong · 4 months

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chan in france!! and awhh look its the eiffel tower AGGRESSIVE WINK

#seung mong!#skz #skz smut #someone hold me down #i cant do this anymore i fear #binchan

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eternalchemy · 16 days

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sometimes i think about when jordan called declan dauntless in the dreamer trilogy and then i think about both aurora and mor calling declan dauntless and i need to lie face down on the floor for five hours until i feel normal again

#oh declan the boy without fear the boy who would risk everything the boy who is not just dauntless but reckless #declan who shoulders all of nialls legacy by himself because he can't let it endanger his brothers #his brothers who dont even know of the legacy at all and declan #dauntless declan who fears nothing he cant let them find out because if they do his efforts of shielding them from it will have been in vain #and then they do find out and what does it do it gets them killed and isnt that the exact thing declan gave up everything to prevent #so declan who fears nothing and has nothing left to protect because his brothers are gone #his brothers are gone and so he truly does not fear anything anymore because what does he have to be afraid of when everything that matters #has been taken already #dauntless declan reckless boy walking into a building full of people intent on getting him as well but his mother was right he is daring and #brave and dauntless and so he goes in and he does what he knows best he has no fear #declan lynch #trc #td3 #i think about him such a normal amount #jordeclan #jordan hennessy

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ganondoodle · 1 year

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been able to keep both my fear and hype about totk in check by watching nothing but elden ring videos for weeks but now i read something on accident and my anxiety is going through the roof again

#ganondoodles talks #pls nintendy #dont do this #it was only a sentence with no clear spoilers or anything #but by god its put fear in my heart again #pls let totk be its own game #id even be willing to spoil myself on some stuff just to know my fear isnt based on truth #i hate that i feel like this #even if im better able to stop panic attacks before they happen #i still feel so silly for feeling so strongly about a game and its lore #but no matter what i try i cant help it #its been my thing of comfort for so long i wouldnt know what else i would focus on if i were to lose it #and it would be so much work - years of work- basically wasted #plus i would feel so bad having made people be interested only to abandon it before its even really started #the only thing giving me comfort if this was the case is knowing id just post all lore -concept art -drafts and scripts #as a sort of -this is what i had been working on for all these years- so at least the people who cared could get an idea of it #and in the unlikely case that it would be liked by alot of people #i would keep working on it despite it making no sense anymore #im rambling on trying to calm myself down #sorry #gotta be exhausting reading my anxious ass tags over and over #;__;

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soldier-poet-king · 5 months

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Need more stories abt middle aged and old people finding love & patnerships. Tbh. Like obvs there is so much more to life and it's not important in the grand scheme of things and like most days I am thinking of bigger and better things but also I love romance and if I am not properly kissed at least once in my life like. What.

#the duality of fran #DONT LOOK AT ME I'M CRINGE #oh mitski we're really in it now #not really. we interrupt my exsitential rambles about the human soul (good)#to briefly pine and be selfish (bad)#i will return to the good shortly #i would just. be so good at love. at specifically that kind ofkf love and devotion #i am. so devoted. so all consuming in my heart. so loyal and intense and wonderful #yeah i have. a lot of problems and fears and insecurities. maybe so #and i crave touch the same way i fear it. like a kicked dog. my family is not affectionate #and YET #ugh disgusting. yknow that richard siken line. u know the one #anyway. back to things that matter. have to dig out my crochet hooks tonight #i swear im gonna get this mfing beanie done over the holidays #since i cant knit anymore bc rsi #i need to do SMTHN good #i cant just embroider even if its pretty #i need to create For Others #bread and roses. but lately ive been just roses #marry me. qpr me. smthn. idc just SMTHN #blegh. dont look at me

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frecklystars · 8 months

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#vent art #first time drawing starscream in uhhh. hot. hot fucking minute there #i was shaky the entire time but drawing plankton helped a lot. plankton is safe #theyre both my number one main f/os. and idk i feel like... if you're starscream and if ur wife looks at u #and her ptsd is suddenly triggered. well. now she cant look at u anymore. that cant feel good can it #who else knows her and loves her like you do? some loud human-ish lifeform with a long ponytail #he sees you hurting. he sits in that grass with you. and you let him. bc he knows what it's like to miss her too #she doesn't fear him. but she doesn't see him as often. and he misses her terribly just like you do.#just as much as you miss her. even if it's a different kind of yearning. and he's hurting now too on her behalf #and you bond with this. this. pathetic lifeform. and youve become this. this. this... pathetic. pathetic! broken thing!#you know she'll come back you know she'll come back you KNOW IT #because doesn't she find you in every universe? and didn't you make promises? and doesn't she always keep them?#but maybe this universe is too broken and maybe she's too broken. maybe she *can't* come back #she's trying. you know she's trying. you FEEL it. what are you supposed to do in the meantime #you're starscream. you're lord starscream and you're lonely and your starflower can't fucking look at you #to no fault of hers and to no fault of yours. it's just what happened. you're in shock. and you're hurting.#this love still isn't temporary. and you still can't imagine your life without her.#and you wish you could obliterate whoever made her feel so fucking scared of you #fuck the person who dared to hurt that one good thing you ever had #you arent a religious mech but you pray and beg to primus your starflower comes back #because you dont know what youll do if she never does #and frankly. she doesn't either. you were her favorite weren't you? and suddenly you're something feared #you've always wanted to be feared but NEVER by her. she is the last person you'd ever want to be feared by #doesn't she miss your voice? haven't you told her with your own vocalizer how much you love and miss her? why doesn't she hear you anymore?#you don't know it but she is terrified of losing you. but she isn't here to tell you that. is she.#it's just you and this stupid nicely dressed copepod who wants to dominate the fast food industry #while your little starflower is laying in a pink bed in a pink land with pink people. and she's crying over you #throwing herself at universes with brooding men with soft voices. but none of them are ever going to feel as good as you made her feel #she misses you but you don't know it because she. can't. even. fucking. look. at. you.#what do you do. what do you do. do you come back? please come back. this ache in your chest is too fucking much. come. back.

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bunnihearted · 1 month

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#it went!!! idk lately my pain treshhold has been so low bc im in pain all the time #so i just dont wnna be in pain anymore... he said that now it'll still hurt for a few days T-T #but he wasnt exactly sure what it was but i had.. a cavity??#im not rlly sure abt the english terms for all of this but the tooth is dying lol #but instead of immediately killing it nd getting a root fill he said that we should give the tooth a chance #so he fixed what he could fix #i hate dentist treatments bc of all the air nd water nd my anxiety i need to swallow constantly #but this time i actually told them abt it nd he was very helpful sksks #he even said 'ok now take a break nd swallow' so i didnt need to be so anxious #nd it was a relief bc he wasnt bad at all. he was actually rlly nice nd easy to talk to phewww #it cost abt $80 so i can manage to be without that until next week!!!!#so yeah it went much better than i had anticipated so im happy abt that #but yeah the problem still isnt 100% fixed yet so im still not relieved #he said i had a cavity in my other tooth as well but that we needed to check that at another time #im so frustrated bc i brush my teeth 2/day i use mouthwash i floss....#and for the last 7 months i havent even had any sugar!!!!! like why did this still happen.. o.o #oh nd he also said that i probably clench my teeth nd yeah i do that a lot more than i've realized #your teeth arent supposed to be touching!! never!! only when u eat #my teeth.... are touching pretty much all day omg. bc im so tense nd anxious #he said that he couldnt be sure bc he didnt have enough info to go on but that could have contributed to this #well well... i did it nd went even if i didnt want to #hopefully my tooth will be better now. nd i have another appt in may to see what i could get done further #if financial aid for it gets approved tho it might not #but yeah.. god dental pain nd issues is my no. 1 fear bc im poor nd i cant afford it

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neo-shitty · 8 months

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finally catching up with bsd after one hell of a month (+ midterms) 🫠

#bsd spoilers #updates for ep 2 :3 #right off the bat all i can just say is fukuchi is such a well-written villain; while i can’t completely emphathize with his plan yet #i have to applaud him (uh and asagiri too) bc that’s quite a villain to fear—he’s already in a position of power that puts him in a major #advantage compared to the ada; it’s like he masterminded this whole thing to lead up to this but WHY (idk if i just forgot)#point and case: i hate him and im always terrified of his next move but damn he’s such a well-written antagonist i can’t even 🤐#ATSUSHI GET OFF THAT FUCKING BOAT RN WHY DID IT HAPPEN SO EARLY INTO THE SEASON IM CRY WAIT NO #fukuchi pointing out that ranpo is just jealous that he and fukuzawa way back is just so adorable made me forget what happens next haha #how come i dont remember these cute moments from the manga 😩#god im stalling so much :(( i hate it i hate it i hate it #the reveal was so… he should’ve deducted this shit sooner (objectively the build up was so nice hsjdhdj)#MY JAW DROPPED THEN AND IT STILL HAPPENED NOW :)))))#ok fukuchi in his complete villain mode is kinda 😗#watching this after being detached to bsd in general is so much better bc i can now appreciate the whole thing as is without much bias???#THE WAY HE JUST TURNED COLD ALL OF A SUDDEN AND I OOP— 😗😗😗😗😗#oh both canon and beast atsushi and their paralyzing fears :(( my heart actually hurts #ATSUSHI THINKING HE’S ALONE ANDDDDDD #OH MY GOD I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE MY SSKK #I CANT WATCH THE NEXT EPISODE #toff.txt

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bunkernine · 1 year

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society if hoo had them at uni age and the lost trio went to chb and chiron is like "how tf are ANY of u alive and unclaimed". wilderness was just community college.

#on a serious note this changes a lot actually. annabeth and percy would not be in chb anymore so when percy goes missing #its like. a genuine possibility and fear because demigods don't make it that old. there is also some added time between tlo and tlh as well #further adding to jasons isolation as being even WEIRDER than everyone else. he also would've been praetor for longer so maybe the romans #wouldve cared more. this also does away with the plot hole of ppl not giving a shit that jason piper and leo (and dylan) straight up #dipped. introducing piper especially to a summer camp makes chb less appealing because they're too old for that and thus makes their #departure from chb make more sense in toa. yet also it opens up the possibility of new rome uni.... which i cannot see any reason as to why #leo would not go there!!!!! outside of being banned cuz he bombed new rome lol. but pipers sexuality arc works for college too!!! ur never #too old to find urself. but also this is the question of if you are able to relatively function in society (this is more for piper leo fran #and i guess percy) then why would you even fight this prophecy??? anyway lol them being college aged is perfect cuz percy is literally #going to a new place and having a new transition with new ppl... like u do in college LOL. now the question is would hazel still be 13. nic #is a lot older at this point and perhaps has the same age gap as bianca and him did 🤔 cant remember. but also don't know why hazel was 13 #in the first place lol. idk. in my college hoo she is just a senior in hs about to graduate from spqr and thinking about staying there or #possibly going to newru after seeing frank make the decision the previous year! SAD!#anyway in hoo. percy and annabeth are sophomores. frank and the lost trio are freshman.#but then in toa. percy annie frank and the lost trio are all graduating cuz percy got held back and Annabeth failed after tartarus fr.#but then also know that piper never went to newru and is adamant about going to mortal uni. and leo kills in newru but is bored. nvm i #forgot he died 🧍‍♂️ ummmmmm ok. ignore leo. and jason actually. so um. ok that really threw me off but are u getting it. that's when apollo #is like 'heeyyyyy i need help pwease 🥺' and they're all like 'dude.'#OK!#but also i ackowedge that this is a children's book and i am not its demographic so god be with you.

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subarashiihibi · 1 year

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logging onto tumblr and seeing blatant ableism was not something i was expecting but Alright

#izaya is the official number 1 cluster b pd ambassador #me personally ive always been a firm believer in bpd izaya but after doing more research on aspd #i get it like it really does make sense esp a lot of little things here and there #just a horrible take in general i fear. rethink your life choices if yr being ableist over a hc #and shoutout to whoever brought the aspd izaya hc to life 💞💞#i dont usually talk abt 'drama' or whatever but it's so disheartening to see #rly it shouldnt matter that much for someone to make a whole damn post fussing over it #regardless of whether or not izaya has aspd he is beautiful and it shouldnt be that huge of a deal that is my honest opinion #as in if yr that hung up over 'nooo izaya cant have aspd he has empathy!!!!🥺🥺'#1) just go to hell and 2) this should not affect how you regard him that much and if it does you are not worthy of liking him #er thats just me being petty but rly i mean it! it's all unconditional love for izaya here.#actually one more thing i do want to say i really do appreciate the creator of this hc i said it earlier but like #i love analyzing izaya as a character but i am admittedly SO BAD at forming meaningful explanations and stuff #so smth to not only do that but also explain how he fits the aspd diagnostic criteria and how it all lines up... it's really cool #ok sowrry i wont ramble anymore. im writing a damn essay in these tags 😭

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chokkito · 6 months

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Playing funger while streaming it in a VC with a friend, when i see Enki i start crying and going "aorieifiefirif" and my friend just says "stop being a gayass" 💔

#🤡 rambles #🤡 fear and hunger #no one understands me everybody is so mean to me i cant do this anymore

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eternalchemy · 7 months

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now hear me out.

#i can actually go into heavy detail #the scarecrow craving a brain to be able to be smart and thoughtful #but then the whole journey being the one who keeps coming up with solutions and strategies to overcome their obstacles #and the tin man who yearns for a heart and thinks he cant love anymore because hes missing the heart #but who says i wont kill anything and i will protect these tiny mice from any dangerous predators nd do whats in my power to help my friends #and the cowardly lion who keeps saying hes afraid of everything #but on every occasion that they face danger he offers to fight for his companions and face the monsters he fears to the point of sacrifice #im reading the wizard of oz rn but the raven cycle brain rot never stops #so you get this #the raven cycle #trc #gangsey

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hella1975 · 9 months

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tbf i really deserved to lose that poll im stupid af

#i need to come off the pill it’s not funny anymore 😂🙏🏼#like it was already hard getting myself motivated for a degree i hate and then there’s the adhd shit on top of that #which is literally the productivity killer but now the pill on top of all that has just taken any fear factor i might have had #like i don’t feel anything I’m not nervous there’s no concept of repurcussions in my mind #and it’s meant I’ve basically hardly fucking studied and it’s entirely my fault and im GOING to fail #like you cannot walk into a uni exam with the barebones knowledge i have and still pass you just can’t #like i spent all of yesterday trying to study and i didn’t get anything fucking done until 11pm #when I did like. a solid hour. that’s it #and it’s so frustrating bc it’s like well why didn’t you just study #and im like i CANT it’s like an actual physical block stopping me #and ik thats the adhd but I could handle it before I knew if I left it last minute the panic would set in and I’d be suddenly productive #but now? nothing #i just don’t feel anything ever and haven’t since literally march #and even that the only reason i remember it as march so vividly is bc i had a fucking depressive episode #physically the pill has done bits but it’s shredded the little mental stability i had and now we’re here and I’m failing my stupid degree #even now it’s like. why am I on tumblr. the exam is in 1.5 hours. i have so much to do bc i did nothing yesterday #and instead of me feeling panic or guilty or ANYTHING?#nothing. just absolutely nothing it’s like im not even here #hella goes to uni

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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year

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My anxiety and depression feel like the ocean. Even when I'm not drowning in it, I'm having to fight to swim and it's exhausting. Even when I'm not swimming in it, it's still there, waves greedily lapping at my feet. It's always there.

I don't talk about it because there isn't much to say. Everyone already knows the ocean exists, yknow? Telling them it does just seems redundant.

Even when I'm sitting safely on the shore I can't stop thinking about it, staring at it, swaying where I stand because I've forgotten what it feels like to stand without the waves. Just waiting for the tide to rise again because I know it has to. Waiting for the ocean to disappear even though I know it never could.