#i cant go through another of their divorces

[littletealights]

yall i just read the summary and cw for ep 40. please tell me they dont get divorced again. after literally everything that’s happened in nyc, i dont think my heart could take it.

[skyburger]

very funny to me that kaz is the one to say "they played us like a damn fiddle" considering the plot of every metal gear game is the protagonist getting played like a damn fiddle way more than little old kaz EVER did

[suenitos]

kissu hates me so fucking bad i should die

is nunkiss over ??????? 😿

[shotmrmiller]

another thing i had in mind for ex husband simon was that this time you're more resistant. no touching, no nicknames that make you weak-kneed, nothing. divorce means divorce, and the wedge that split the two of you up would probably still be there.

fine by simon, he follows the rules to a T. hands to himself, polite greetings and only talks about the children. maybe for a birthday for the boys, he takes the family shopping for gifts since it's a tuesday and there won't be any party or whatever and when y'all come back home, the lights are on.

they'd been off when y'all left. simon quickly opens the middle console and pulls out his weapon and tells you to get in the drivers seat. should anything come running out, pedal to the metal.

a little bit of time passes, you're about to be driven crazy with anxiety but simon finally comes out, except he's empty handed.

comes to the side and opens the driver door. "whoever was in there is gone. probably hopped the back fence. i've already called the guys."

you're a sobbing mess because how dare someone come into your home? your sanctuary? what if-

and you come to a startling realization. what if you and the boys had been here? alone?

simon's looking down at his phone, and furrows his brows. "i gotta go get-" but you don't let him finish, trembling fingers grabbing the front of his shirt. "you cant leave us here. don't leave me alone. don't- just please. stay."

you're too upset to resist his embrace or correct him when he calls you sweetheart. the guys get there eventually, price and gaz waste no time in sweeping the area and you, accompanied by simon, tuck the kids to bed.

price calls it later, that the place seems to be clear. nothing really taken nor left behind. they all leave, johnny and kyle deciding to stay overnight across the street their car and simon also turns to bid you goodnight, except you don't let him.

you practically beg him to stay, that you won't feel safe without him here. the couch won't do because he's too far away, what if whoever that was comes in through the bedroom windows.

you seek comfort in him and in the dead of night, he whispers promises into your ear as he slides home. promises to keep you safe, to keep the kids safe. that he'd let nothing ever happened to you, not while he still lived and breathed.

when you're finally dozing, with his spend drying in between your legs, he grabs his phone and texts johnny that it's done, they can go home now.

johnny responds in seconds, telling him that he tore his very nice jeans jumping that rough hewn fence of theirs and that simon owes him a new pair.

[convoloutedinjoke]

This is maybe a bit of projection that is telling in all the least flattering ways but fuck it w/e, I think a breakthrough moment in postcanon Kim/Harry relationship functionality would be Harry having an epiphany like "ohhhhh. I don't HAVE to strategically manipulate him into accommodating my needs I can just TALK to him." after spending a couple months jumping through hoops and lying up a storm in order to like. not mention that some kinds of sex are scary and his joints start to hurt if they cuddle in the wrong position for too long. lol lmao etc.

[chrolloluvr]

Can you please do Stolas,Alastor,Lucifer,and Adam with a insomniac reader Hcs

Alastor, Stolas, Lucifer, Adam x Insomniac!Reader

note: ty for requesting bookie bear! also i do not have insomnia, so if its a bit inacurate, sorry!! I am going purely based off of the definition! Also this is not proofread.

GenderNeutral!Reader:

warnings: use of pet names, thats all!

Alastor:

A couple months after your relationship started, he would sleep next to you (by sleep, he would lay with his eyes wide open, sprawled across your chest.) And would notice you rarely slept.

He would wake you up with a nice coffee, and say,

"My dear, whats with the long face?"

You would look at him deadpan, your eyes barely opening, and he would keep telling you to just rest your pretty little head, as he ruffled your hair.

When you try to explain to him that you are an insomniac, he wouldn't understand. Why cant you just sleep normally? (this rule does not apply to him)

He would try his best to help you, by giving you warm blankets, or even letting you rub and scratch his ears to help you sleep if you are lucky.

Would stay awake with you and read to you a story ranging from fairytales, to stories about when he was still alive.

Stolas:

Stolas is very attentive because he genuinely loves and cares for you.

He catches on very quickly to this sleepless habit of yours, and becomes very doting. Constantly saying,

"My little owlette, you need your beauty sleep! Do you need a massage?"

When you tell him that you rarely sleep, and that it's hard for you, he understands completely. He is a Goetia, he is going through a divorce, and he has to take care of his daughter. He knows how tired you must be.

He will let you lay on his chest and ruffle his feathers, and will sing you a lullaby (similar to the one he sang Octavia)

Adam:

Oh boy. If he sees sees you having trouble sleeping, he will most likely make fun of you.

"Cmon babe, why cant you just sleep, its really not that hard..."

He earned a slap to the face after he said that...

Once you explain that you have insomnia, he doesn't fully get it, but he loves you, so he tries his best

He ends up not understand shit, so he grabs Lute to come and help you.

The most he can do to help you is let you play with his hair with his mask off, or will try and get you to laugh.

Will stay awake with you most likely, and you guys will probably watch a movie and cozy up on his couch.

Lucifer

Also another one that understands. This man has gone through ALOT.

"Sweetie, why don't you come to bed, yeah?"

When you explain to him your issues, he feels bad for you, and offers to give you a back massage, or to play with his rubber ducks a bit.

Will try his best to at-least ease your mind

He will let you play with his wings and run your fingers through them, or even let you brush his platinum blonde hair.

He likes to remind you that he is always there, and that he will stay awake with you if you need it.

Will ask Charlie for help, and maybe get some advice from her

Will bring KeKe to play with you and keep you company.

[jyoongim]

This is more of an idea (feel free to not respond btw)

But what if married reader gets knocked up with Alastors fawn and the husband divorced her once he realizes the baby isn’t his? You can bet your ass that the deer daddy is already trying to ensnare the reader in his grasp lol

Hehehe i have never written a Part 2 so fast !

Part 1

————————————————————————

“Oh my Satan dear! Look at you! Ya look like you’re bout to pop!” Rosie exclaimed when you walked in her shop.

’Pop’ was an understatement.

You were very near the end of your pregnancy and it had not been kind to you.

You never told your husband about the incident with Alastor.

Would he had even believed you?

Alastor was A LOT of things, but the two of you were friends…your husband would think call you insane….

Your eyes widened seeing the very cause of your discomfort.

Alastor.

You wanted to dash out the door, run back home and hide.

The red Overlord turned around, hearing Rosie’s voice, you froze seeing his eyes look you over, you instinctively placed a hand over your stomach when his lips stretched into a smile.

You heard Rosie excuse herself to go get some appetizers but you were too focused to acknowledge her.

You were alone.

With him.

You took a shaky breath as memories from several months ago flashed across your mind, but you shook your head lightly to discard those thoughts.

”My my look at you” he purred approaching until he towered over you, beaming like a Cheshire cat “You really do make a fine mother” his large hand caressed the swell of your belly, smile softening when he felt movement.

”j-just leave me be please” you whispered, wincing when he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest.

Alastor chuckled ”leave you be? Oh ma cherie no can do!” 

He bent his head, his lips grazing the shell of your ear, voice dropping to a whisper “especially since you’re about to give birth to my baby?”

You pushed him away, putting distance between the two of you. Your face was flushed, eyes narrowed “I am NOT having your baby! I am having my husband’s baby!” You defended.

But there was a sliver of doubt you always felt when it came to the little soul nestled within you.

Alastor’s smile never wavered “Hmm you sure? Because i remember vividly filling your cunt with my seed until it dripped down your legs” 

You froze.

”You took me so well I was positive you would be pregnant”

He took small steps towards you

”Did you tell your husband?” 

Your snarl fell at his words and he knew he had you.

”T-there’s n-nothing to tell” you said turning around, ready to leave. 

You didnt have to take this.

He hummed coming up behind you. “Nothing to tell?” He chuckled darkly as his lanky arms wrapped around you, cradling your swollen belly. He leaned his head on top of yours.

”Oooh darlin I’m hurt! You didnt tell your loving husband how you milked my cock? How I tasted the cunt that belonged to him? How I claimed you for myself? That I sent you home filled with my cum?”

You were shaking.

”How unfaithful you were? Could the poor man tell another man’s cum was inside you while he fucked you?”

He kissed your neck

”I can’t wait to meet our little fawn”

Your baby kicked causing him to smile.

————————————————————————-

Pain.

Thats all you felt as you tried to breath through your contraction.

”You got this honey! You’re doing great” your husband soothed as you wailed.

”One more push maam the baby’s almost here” the nurse reassured you.

Almost? It felt like you been pushing forever

”I cant” you panted.

Everything burned.

Your husband dabbed at your sweaty forehead, pressing a kiss to it “You got this baby. C’mon just one more push and then it’ll all be over”

Your eyes clenched and with a scream you pushed.

”Aaahh!”

Relief and then the shrill cry of a baby.

The nurses cooed “Ooh a healthy boy!”

she cleaned up the baby and you sighed as you slumped against the bed.

Finally.

”Ok mama” you felt a small weight on your chest.

Soft noises had you look down and you felt your heart break and bloom.

Red tufts of hair curled on the babe’s head and he looked at you with big red eyes.

He looked like you; round cheeks and a cute nose.

He looked nothing like your husband.

And every bit like…

”what the fuck” you heard your husband say. You turned to him, eyes wide.

He was staring at the baby.

”I-Its n-not what you think dear j-just let me-”

”You fucked Alastor” he was frowning, standing up from the bed.

You shook your head, tears swelling

”N-no that’s…I didnt i swear”

”I am looking at his exact copy. The damn brat looks nothing like me!”

You couldnt move “Honey p-please”

The man backed away. He was angry.

The baby began to cry, you tried to rock the poor soul, but your attention was on your husband

”Honey-”

”I should have known” he hissed lowly, pacing.

”I should have known by the way he acted. How you flirted with each other! The fucking radio demon!? Tsk!”

He turned to look at you.

”I dont want some bitch who takes me for a fool. Hope it was worth it you fucking slut” he turned to walk out.

tears ran down your face, your heart was racing “W-What? Honey no it wasn’t like that..it-it was never-”

”I want a divorce. You are dead to me”

and like that he was gone.

You sat there stunned.

Your husband just…left.

He left you and he didn’t even let you explain, tell him how or why all this was happening.

The baby cooed and you looked down at him.

You wanted to be angry, you had every right to be, but looking at this sweet soul…he didnt deserve your anger.

You were a mother now. You would do your best to love your child.

Even if you had to do it alone.

————————————————————————————-

“What a fine mother you make indeed my dear”

He smiled watching the little fawn latch to your chest and stare back at him with vermillion eyes.

You hissed at him, earning a quirked brow “haven’t you done enough?”

Soft static buzzed through the air as the Overlord approached you. You took a step back, as he extended a hand to the babe and rubbed his chubby cheek.

Alastor ignored your question ”How are you feeling love?” He asked as the baby nuzzled into your neck.

How were you feeling?

You were divorced, a single mother, and living with Rosie.

Shunned.

All because of him.

”Like hell but I know you’re not here to ask about my well being”

Alastor ignored your jab.

”I do care for you darlin and its only right that I provide for you and our fawn”

You went to growl, threaten him to die, but your baby reached out to the red demon.

Alastor’s face light up and he grabbed the fawn, cooing and tickling the baby.

Your son squealed and giggled, trying to grab at his claws.

”Let’s make a deal dearest”

You straightened at his words. A deal with Alastor was dangerous.

But you were at rock bottom.

”What kind of deal?” You asked cautiously.

”Marry me. Marry me and you’ll have nothing to be worried about. You’ll be protected, cared for, and have anything you desire.”

The baby was gumming at his collar.

”Be mine”

You bit your lip. What did you have to loose?

You sighed, taking your son.

You looked at the tall demon, green magic swirling around him.

”Do we have a deal?” he extend his hand.

You looked at your baby and then back at Alastor.

”I hate you” you said taking his hand,

You winced as your hand burned and watched a gold ring appear on your finger.

Radio static buzzed and then a soft humming. Alastor purred, smiling, fixing his jacket.

“Oh my dear” His arm looped around your waist, bringing you close to him as he chuckled “Such a good girl”

“Now! I think I have the perfect place for us to raise our fawn”

—————————————————————————————

“Uggghh Al you got a little something…” Charlie said nervously as she watch Alastor sip his coffee.

The little red fawn was hanging on his antlers, happily gnawing at the appendages. Alastor looked up, smiling “Oh he’s fine”

”Alastor have you seen…” your voice floated into his ears as you entered the lobby, stopping when you saw your son among his father’s antlers.

Alastor let out a grunt as the baby pulled at his ears “Hes right here dear”

Your baby babbled as you approached, squealing when you plucked him from his father.

You scowled the Overlord, placing the baby on your hip.

”How many times have I told you not to just let him hang-”

”da-”

You froze.

“Da…da” your son babbled, squirming in your arms.

Charlie cooed and Alastor smirked as the fawn’s eyes welled with tears as he reached for his father. Alastor walked towards you, scooping the baby from you.

You pouted as the baby happily chirped, nuzzling in his father’s neck.

Alastor sneaked a soft kiss to your lips 

“See he’s fine”

You sighed, rolling your eyes, arms crossing.

”Oh smile my dear. Maybe the next one will say mama first” he laughed, eyes settling on your round belly.

”After all you’re a great mother”

[redbleedingrose]

will you write exhusband!rhys? 🥹🥹

Cant promise it will be any good bookie, but for you?? Why not?

Ex Husband!Rhysand x Reader

Okay so, basically, the only reason why Rhysand agreed to a divorce in the first place is cuz he thought you were being a silly goofy girly pop, this is just a phase right?

Everyone goes through marriage issues. He knows that. So he signs the papers. Because they are just papers and you are still his wife.

He still wears his wedding rings at all times, and he feels a spark in his heart every time he sees you still wearing yours. He is as in love with you as he has ever been, and continues to fall deeper and deeper in love with you every day.

Your time apart from each other under the mountain did little to deter his feelings for you. Whether you like it or not, the night courts high lord is here to stay for you. You are his high lady of course.

So when you ask him to separate your belongings so you can move into a little cottage by the Sidra, he huffs a little sigh with an eye roll, but lets his silly little wife do as she pleases. Because he adores you, and wants to indulge you in your little game.

You won't know that he is buying the house you will live in and is already making renovations to it already to make it more comfortable for you. Renovations including your own private library and a water fountain garden with water that sparkles as the sun sets.

And you certainly won't know that he is getting the little cabin just down the way from your new house so that he can watch over you and anyone else who comes by.

Anyway, his wooing of you never stops. Not even through this silly little divorce game you are playing. He is constantly bringing you flowers, your favorite kind, fresh and in beautifully designed bouquets. Your entire new home is tittering with these flowers, and all the old ones are drying because honestly, you cant bare to part with something your ex husband who you still so dearly love brought for you.

And don't get me started on the other gifts he brings you, brand new clothes from your favorite boutique, specially designed and fitted just for you. He cannot wait to see you wearing them when you take your daily walk together through Velaris that he has convinced you to go on. Just to ensure the citizens that you are still a stable court. Yes, that is the only reason. Simply and only that. And also new jewelry that he spent hours designing with your favorite jeweler, with specifically picked gems from the deep mountain mines buried in the depths of the court that only his keen eye can pick out.

Oh and if your silly little game starts to get more dramatic with you going out on another date with some other male or female??? Well, Rhysand knows how to play games. And he will beat you at this one little darling.

Your moves from now will end up with your ass spanked a bright red with his imprints left behind making it difficult for you to sit down for a solid week after you reconcile with him :(((

And that male you went out with last weekend?

You never see or hear from him again.

And it's weird because you thought you guys had a good time together. He was even discussing going out with you again later next week. Oh well :// ??

Your Rhysie is back at it again coaxing you into going out with him. It's not working but damn are you feeling tempted after the way he fucked you the day after your date. I mean how could he help it? And how could you help yourself?

With the way he was looming at your entryway when your date dropped you off... with the way the darkness of night was rolling from his taut shoulders, with the way his tunic was nearly bursting at the seams with his arms crossed over his broad chest... with the way his churning glare pierced your soul, nearly killed the poor male who had leaned in to press a soft kiss to your cheek but quickly snatched himself away, murmuring a hurried goodbye before running off.

He barely had you inside the doorway before you were caged into the wall with heated, fierce kisses and roaming hands squeezing and groping at your soft edges. Those violet eyes forced eye contact as he had you cumming on his fingers and tongue 4 times before he graced you with his cock. You did not get ANY rest that night.

But yeah no, it doesn't make any sense as to where that male had gone. But Rhysand just tells you not to worry your pretty mind about it, that your husband is going to take care of all your needs darling, "you don't need any other male to be touching your stunning body, only me love, only your husband." Chuckling darkly when you whine at him, "Ex husband Rhys, you're forgetting the ex part" and weakly pull at his wandering fingers, squirming in his tight hold as his front presses directly against your behind, nearly falling to your knees when you feel the softest pecks along the length of your neck.

And well…. how can you help yourself? Rhys is just too good at making you feel good.

It's not your fault he has you nearly trained to cum on command. It's not your fault he is quietly slipping into your mind, feeding it dirty thoughts and images on how he used to take you. How he used to bend you over every piece of furniture or how he could have you cumming in 30 seconds just by his middle finger and thumb alone or how his thigh felt so so good rutting against your cunt when he edged you or how he just gets so deep in you, cock nudging and sliding against spots you didn't even know existed in you.

You're just a silly little wife who was a bit jealous of some girl named whose name Rhysie can't even remember, something bout her saving Prythian from Amarantha??

Rhys really couldn't care less though, the only female he knows and thinks of is you.

And don't you worry darling. The minute you finally agree to try again with Rhys, he flys you to nearest temple, the marriage "reinstatement" ceremony was only for your little mind to be put at ease.

Besides, he never let your divorce papers go past that one horrid priestess who had actually agreed to notarize it. In fact, the priestess was… well….

Let's just say he took great care in ensuring that no one else would ever even suggest on agreeing to such a mistake again. The bone carver was quite pleased with his new… assortment of skeletal remains the high lord of night gifted him in exchange for a future favor. Such innocent and pure bones from an old priestess are hard to come by these days!!!

And the weaver enjoyed some eyeball soup from Rhys. And don't you worry, Az and Cass helped dismember that old ratty priestess with their brother. They supported Rhys heavily and would not stop at one... or maybe two souls being taken.

Anyway!!! We love a delulu Rhys 🩷💋😍🥰

Rhysand Masterlist

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

Is “willingly unloved” canon to the roomates au?

yes, unless it is excplicitly stated all comics/ drawings under the hashtag r canon!

it was also a bit of a character study of ethan, i wanted to draw what i think he would act like after going through something as traumatizing as re8 and re7. a lot of the times ethan getting horribly hurt (arms/legs cut off) is either passed off as a joke of "haha he lost another arm" or passed off as him being a idiot being stupid. i wanted to explore how those things would affect him and how all his past relationships did as well. both mia and chris, two people he cared for and trusted broke his trust, mia on two different occasions. (pls dont turn this into a anti mia post lol, its just straight canon im just acknowledging what she literally did. what she did affects the people in her life, and this post is about ethan. it doesnt nesscarily matter what her intentions were since the execution was still horrible so pls dont get upset at me)

in re7 he suffers the consequences of someones lie, and it repeats in re8. i feel like he would be far more reserved after re8. he cant trust anyone and he now lives with the knowledge that he and his daughter r bioweapons and there organizations out there to get him. in this AU chris is helping by trying to return ethan to a normal life but after re8 ethan would not trust chris imo. not in a way where he thinks chris will turn him into the BSAA or whatever but more like hes worried that chris is possibly hiding something important or planning something he doesnt know.

he would have major trust issues and probably would have huge difficulty with opening himself up to another connection, especially since leon is friends with chris. ethan would probably be wary due to association.

after re8 he is left with nothing. his wife lied to him again, and the man who was suppose to protect him did a horrible job at it LOL. he has rosemary and thats it. and at any moment someone could take her for being a bioweapon. he would live a life of paranoia and stress trying to give rosemary and normal life while trying to keep her safe at the same time. i feel like getting divorced with mia would be the best option for ethan. as much as they loved each other it wasnt healthy. mia wanted to forget and move on while ethan knew nothing and wanted to understand more. its unfortunate i know. in re8 ethan has a book about weapons and says, "its not paranoia if theyre really out to get you."

its honestly so tragic 😭

in a more realistic way to canon, ethan was doomed to die in that village. a life after it all, after surviving re8 would be horrible. the BSAA is corrupt so hes stuck with chris trying to hide and live a normal life. theres no where for him to go.

BUUTTTTTT... in a cutesy AU where leon and ethan r roomates he gets to heal so yayy. ethan would definetly be very hesitant to open up to leon and would probably not trust him for a long time

for now its just him and rose

[aothotties]

Rachel and I are experiencing MAJOR Suguru brainrot so here's what we came up with. Part 2 is NSFW. Enjoy and please leave feedback or send us a message!

Warnings: Suguru is madly in love and a lil obsessive, mentions his dick like twice,

Suguru as your ex-husband

Ex-Husband Suguru Geto

Ex-Husband!Suguru who still calls you his wife to strangers, because he refuses to believe that y’all aren’t together.

Ex-Husband!Suguru who still wears his wedding ring and hasn’t taken it off since the day you two got married.

Ex-Husband!Suguru still texts you on your wedding anniversary, it’s been three years since the divorce and he still sends you flowers every Sunday.

Ex-Husband!Suguru always makes sure that you have everything you need without having to ask. He’ll send you money for groceries, makes sure you have gas in your tank. You tried declining in the past, but he would just have Satoru bring you groceries so you decided to accept the money instead. 

Ex-Husband!Suguru has breakfast delivered to your door every morning before you go to work

Ex-Husband!Suguru comes to all your family holiday events because your parents still love him even though you're not together anymore

Ex-Husband!Suguru still buys you the most expensive gifts for your birthday/Christmas/etc.

Ex-Husband!Suguru frequently stalks your socials to see if you're seeing someone new

Ex-Husband!Suguru bought the house right across the street from yours to see you everyday

Ex-Husband!Suguru rubs his dick through his pants when he sees you walk to the mailbox in those tiny shorts he used to love 

Ex-Husband!Suguru has a pair of your panties that he kept after you split stashed in his bedside drawer next to the sexy polaroid pics he took of you on your honeymoon  

Ex-Husband!Suguru feels jealous when he sees you run out the door and directly to the all black hellcat parked in front of your house.

Ex-Husband!Suguru cant deny the bulge forming in his pants when he sees the skimpy black dress you're wearing as you climb into the passenger seat

Ex-Husband!Suguru who can't stand to see you with another man so he decides to drown his thoughts in liquor 

Ex-Husband!Suguru who ends up texting you that he misses you while you’re on your date. 

Ex-Husband!Suguru jumps up quickly and runs straight to the door when he sees your “hey can you come pick me up? This guy is a complete asshole and I'm hiding in the bathroom” text. Once you send the location he speeds off, not wanting to make you suffer any longer than you already have 

Ex-Husband!Suguru gets to the restaurant in less than 15 minutes and rolls his eyes in disbelief that this man would really take you to AppleBee’s on your first date. A waste of that bomb ass outfit you had on 

Ex-Husband!Suguru drives you back home and has to hide how excited he is that this is the closest you two have been since you the divorce.

Ex-Husband!Suguru who decides to be a gentleman and walks you to your front door. “Just wanna make sure you get in safely” is the excuse he uses.

Ex-Husband!Suguru who eagerly accepts your offer to step inside for a cup of tea as a small thank you for tonight, trying his absolute best to hide the excitement on his face.

- Ari & Rachel

[gay-as-fucking-hell]

Thinking about a Modern AU for Path to Nowhere and I've got prompts! :D

Office romance with Eirene. She's the cold hearted CEO of Quinn Corporations who has never been in a relationship before and you're the overworked employee that has only ever been in toxic relationships.

Eirene interrupts a yelling your boss was giving you and that interaction soon leads to many more between the two of you. Through you, she finds out about the toxic work environment and mistreatment within her company. This leads to Eirene ordering an overhaul of each department with a multitude of firings of shitty employees occurring and a reworking of many systems.

The both of you grow closer to one another and soon feelings start to bloom. But there's a problem, Eirene's doesn't know a thing about romance and is to prideful to outright ask you out, and you're as dense as a rock and in denial with the possibility of her liking you.

Mafia romance with Zoya. She's the leader of the infamous gang The Legion and you're a forced stripper trying to work off the debt your parents accumulated from a different gang by working at their club.

Zoya was visiting the club to discuss gang matters with the owner when you come over to entertain her whilst she waited for them. She found herself enamoured by you. You looked so out of place, like you didn't belong in your current position and this peeked Zoya's interest. She starts coming to the club regularly, booking you for a few hours in a VIP lounge and eventually conversations start between the two of you.

You both become friends somewhat and you start looking forward to her visits. Zoya starts to get bold, becoming touchy with you and asking more personal questions. You do the same, wanting to know more about her and encouraging her touches whilst initiating your own. Soon the sexual tension becomes too thick to bare and you have sex with her. Afterwards, your boss tries to stop future appointments with Zoya but she doesn't plan on letting that happen.

Amnesia and Small Town romance with Adela. She's a well-known local of the area with a famous salon and you're a new resident who's settling into the area.

You end up moving into town after a nasty divorce with your ex-husband, just wanting to be away from him and to start fresh somewhere. As you're settling in, you start going out for things and talking to the locals. You are told about many things within the town along with a salon and its highly praised owner.

You soon decide to visit the salon for a haircut and now you cant shake the feeling of familiarity during or after your visit. Soon you start getting odd dreams and visions of a life within this small town with the most prominent ones being a fight with your father, a car accident, a mysterious lady, and a feminine voice with a britsh accent.

Anyone is free to use these prompts, but please tag me. I want credit and I want to read the fics!

I hope you enjoyed my brain rot!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for not wanting to homeschool?

i(15ftm) have been getting pressured by my family, and especially my mom, to homeschool. my older brother and 3 younger siblings all agreed to homeschool this year, my brother especially being very enthusiastic. my mom(36f) has been watching a lot of news and tiktoks that have made her certain we need to run away to Tennessee (we live in California ) within the next year or two, and she desperately wants me to homeschool.

i have a lot of trouble focusing on schoolwork specially when im at home, to the point that when we were quarantined i failed all but one class. i also have a hard time making and keeping friends, as i am incredibly socially anxious. this last year and now, ive been making close friends, but its hard to keep in touch or hang out when we arent in school.

ive tried to explain that i would be incredibly depressed (moreso than right now lol) and i would probably lose any chances on making it to anything except community college if i home schooled, but my mom wont hear it. she has always written me a letter to read when i get to school on the first day, and they are always very nice. this year she wrote an incredibly passive-agressive note about how she wishes i would homeschool. she is convinced that i will get convinced to talk to my counselor at school and get sent to a group home and then kidnapped for sex-slavery and such, based off of a law that doesnt exist yet ane won't until i am a senior. ignoring that, i would never and have never talked to the school counselor outside of signing up for classes.

anyways, my mom has been bringing this up in every conversation, and shes also still frustrated that i told my friends i was trans before her, and is convinced the entire school and all teachers know as well. i have tried to tell her otherwise, but she wont listen. i only waited to come out to her in the first place, because when i came out as pan, she took my phone and went through it for a week and thought i was saying that i was attracted to pedophiles, and then she immediately outed me to my brother(16m) and dad(42m), who i was waiting to come out to for another month or so, as i wanted to make sure it wouldnt be unsafe to come out. (she didnt tell me she outed me either, i found out from my dad. my parents are divorced and have been since i was 3.) she has since outed me as trans to my dad as well.

however, disregarding that, she has genuine reason to want me to homeschool. it would be less money since we would have to pay for bus rides, extra food, and school supplies for me, and it would mean i get to spend more time with my family, which is a big plus for her. i also wouldnt have to deal with annoying teachers, as it would all be through online courses. for me though, it wouldnt be worth it at all, and i would lose access to my electives, game design and costume design (i go to an art school).

so, am i the asshole? she is genuinely worried about things right now, but i cant see myself being happy doing homeschooling.

What are these acronyms?

[friendodo]

noooo u cant just mention LBH and not elaborate!!!!!!!!!! pls tell us about him in papa!SJ AU 🥺👉👈

this is a verrrrry late reply but i made some sketches back then and never really finished them so might as well post them now:

I think LBH and SY meet a few years later than the main period this AU focuses on (when SY is less than 10yo).

Basically LBHs parents are divorced partly due to a misunderstanding and partly due to tlj's involvement in some shady stuff she doesn't want her son messing around with. To SJ, TLJ is his extremely laidback neighbour that just moved in recently, who is occasionally seen with an incredibly shy little boy that he hears through gossip from the old ladies downstairs is his son with his divorced wife. Overall, SJ is very unimpressed with TLJ's attitude and therefore he doesn't really want anything to do with him.

SY who is a little older now, has a flourishing love of animals (constantly begging SJ for a pet) so when he sees LBH's adorable little puppy he goes batshit insane about it and quickly becomes shy little LBH's first friend.

(more pics below)

A reluctant SJ ends up having to host sleepovers for LBH and SY quite a few times and SXY (who still doesn't trust TLJ to look after a child and keeps a very close eye on him) manages to be the one picking up LBH one day and SJ and SXY hit it off right away. They form a solid friendship: two independent career-minded single parents with enormous mutual respect between the two of them. And you know what, they like each other so much that they go on a beach holiday together (no, TLJ does not get to come).

Eventually SXY moves away somewhere much more affluent and far away with LBH in tow so SY doesn't see him for a long time until they are a lot older. TLJ and SYX eventually sort their shit out.... probably. i have a few more doodles on this part of the au so lmk if you enjoyed and i'll make another post :D

[shaunamilfman]

It’s been so long since I’ve sent an ask in, i fear the kids will think we’re in a divorce. So today I came to offer up a situation I believe in 1000%.

Jackie Taylor in college not knowing how to flirt with women, so whenever she meets you for the first time she doesn’t know how to talk to you. She ends up buying those stupid men’s pickup artist CDs, the like late 2000s type. She believes it completely and thinks that this is how you get girls and buys like the whole box set. It comes with douche clothes, a small notebook of pickup lines and a huge textbook along with like 10 CDs. Literally any normal person would know these lines and tactics would absolutely not work, but she’s convinced herself. So she tries approaching you in a bar and when you don’t follow the script that the pickup artist said you’d respond with, she gets nervous. She pulls out and skims through the pages of a huge book that in VERY bold letters on the front reads, ‘HOW TO GET WOMEN’

She eventually gives up on the textbook after she sees the weird look you gave her upon seeing it. Just ends up taking a bar napkin and writing “Do you like me?” With 2 options below that read “Yes” and “YES”. She’s looking at you like she’s so proud of herself that you cant help but circle the option in all caps. (She thinks that means you’re dating, immediately)

excellent ask as always bro. feels like we haven't spoken in soooo long. waiting by the window for my husband to come home from war. checking the post office every day for one mere letter from the front lines 😔

the way that little book is the only thing jackie's taking notes on before she got to college. she bombed her first exam and is like "omg how do you study in college???" and then looked at her 10 pages of notes from "chicks 101" and a lightbulb lit up

jackie has the best pickup lines written down and her phone and keeps checking the notes app as shes walking towards you (walks into a pole). forgets them immediately the second she starts talking to you (you talked first and she forgot what she crammed) but refuses to admit it and tries it anyways. completely flips the line around. like "you're the only ten i see, are you from tennessee?" and immediately winces.

screams into her pillow atleast once a week. did not realize that flirting with girls would be so fucking hard. no one tells you this thing. she almost misses when she thought she was straight. the shit was soooo easy. she's so good at flirting with boys that she's still pulling them without even trying.

also jackie for fucking sure memorizes how she wants conversations to go in general when she's nervous about something i feel and the second someone goes off script she's like "hold on now". has to schedule a doctors appointment for the first time and they ask her a question she didn't have written down and she hangs up (they needed her middle name. she makes shauna call them from rhode island lmaoo.).

peering over jackie's shoulder and she's got 20 tabs open all along the lines of "how to kiss", "how to tell her i like her", "how to flirt with women when you look straight", "how to be her friend in a gay way", "lesbian. girl pretty. help"

jackie does NOT believe in situationships. what do you mean you're not in love with her??? you went on three dates?? she secretly sprayed her perfume on your pillow when you were in the bathroom and everything. yahoo answers swore it would make you fall in love with her

side note jackie immediately hard launches you after one date. queen. writing mrs jackie taylor in all her notebooks for sure. calling shauna up like "i found the one" and shaunas like "...where is she from?". "unimportant. anyways so on our date..."

you see a no faintly written under a shit ton of eraser marks before she changed her mind and wrote another yes. (was nervous about giving you the option lmaooo)

[onepiece-polls]

One Piece Shipping War - Round 3 Side D

Propaganda under the cut.

Propaganda for Doflamingo x Crocodile:

they had one interaction in the entire manga/show but it gave such Divorced vibes. they just kept staring and glaring at each other like,,, ok. they definitely have a History. doflamingo (depending on the translation) kept saying allusive things like “Let’s hook up!” and “You’re teaming up with Whitebeard? Don’t make me jealous!” like he has it down baddd for crocodile. also don’t get me started on when Oda drew a “What if they teamed up?” scenario where doflamingo has his arm around him, while crocodile wears both a flamingo and a crocodile wearing crowns on his jacket.

I just like awful dilfs in love 😔

two fuckin freaks lmfao

I like the potential for very toxic dynamics also the comedy of their clashing personalities

Honestly, I just think they’re really funny. Weirdass middle aged men, twice divorced, in spite of never being married in the first place. The drama and darkness of it all is great too; but mostly they’re funny.

Most divorced

I really feel like doflamingo flirting at marinford.

Propaganda for Nami x Vivi:

Yes, Nami has a new girlfriend on every island, but her heart belongs to Vivi. Vivi in turn refuses to marry, because her heart belongs with a pirate ❤

THEY’RE LESBIANS! IN LOVE! another point: my friends who are watching OP for the first time came to me and asked “so Nami and Vivi… they’re gay right?” So it’s pretty apparent to even newcomers

I just think they’re neat! And in love. Nami gave up money for Vivi that’s True Love

Anyone who saw them can just tell they’re gay. Like Nami gave up money for her

They're one of the rare lesbian ships in op, they care for each other so much !!

Lesbians

Lesbians

They were so gay that Luffy offered to share food to cheer Nami up when they were separated.

i dare you to read Baroque Works through Alabasta without shipping them. the way Vivi and Nami are so affectionate with each other, and Vivi putting saving her nation on hold to get Nami healthy again ???

Lesbians

Let’s go lesbians!!!!! Ok but actually, I think Nami saw a lot of herself in Vivi (ha) especially when Igaram “died” and then throughout their journey together Nami really encouraged her to open up to the crew. Nami showed Vivi it was ok to ask for help just like Luffy showed her.

Vivi was Nami's gay awakening and you cant change my mind. Nami was in love with Vivi and Vivi def had some kind of feeling for Nami. They were so close and they were more then just 'gal pals'

Lesbian Pirate Supremacy! they clearly care a lot about each other and considering when nami meets vivi she is probably one of the first close female friends she gets to have.

[sitp-recs]

hi liv! i was wondering if you have any drarry meet-cute recs? i thought i saw a list of it once but cant seem to find it now :(

Hi anon! Sure thing, here are some fun recs with this trope. JulietsEmoPhase writes a lot of meet-cute AUs, I’d definitely check their AO3!

go to it laughing by oflights (T, 1k)

Harry is a marine biologist and Draco is a beluga whale Animagus; they meet on the St. Lawrence River.

Another Side by flightinflame (T, 2k)

Harry loves teaching at Pigdots Nursery. He knows a child named Scorpius is probably magical, but something about the name feels familiar.

He Whose Hand and Eye Are Gentle by khalulu (G, 5k)

Draco reads poems and sometimes writes them. Harry receives poems and sometimes reads them. Rutherford delivers poems via the scenic route. Wombat snores. Eventually, all comes together, with help from the foxes in red bibs and the sumo referee.

Play Dates by bixgirl1 (E, 8k)

Harry never thought seeing Malfoy as a dad would affect him this way.

And a Malfoy in a Pear Tree by lauren3210 (E, 8k)

Draco works in a coffee shop. Harry drops by every day to get his fix. Of coffee, Ron.

The Interest Here by disapparater (T, 9k)

Draco has his own morning show on the wireless, which he loves; an ambitious assistant, whom he needs; and days in The Tea Shop, where he relaxes. He also has a new caller on the show, whom he finds bloody annoying.

Once Upon An East End by JulietsEmoPhase (M, 9k)

Bistro owner Harry is closing up for the night when a young man stumbles through his door in need of help. The night takes them in a direction neither had expected.

coffee & communication: a (slow) romance by softlystarstruck (E, 11k)

Nearly a decade after the war, Draco has made a life for himself in Muggle London, writing romance novels and hanging out with his cat. But when he spills iced coffee all over a gorgeous man who turns out to be Harry Potter, has he tumbled into the start of his own romance without realizing it? And how difficult can it be to talk about desire, anyways? He writes smut for a living.

My True Love Gave to Me (Six Jars of Chutney) by goldentruth813 (M, 12k)

On his first post-divorce Christmas Eve without his children, Harry goes to Marks & Spencer hoping to find a bit of his past; what he finds instead is a future.

honey milk tea by softlystarstruck (T, 14k)

When Draco runs into Harry at his favorite boba tea shop and gets so flustered he orders the exact same thing, he has no idea how quickly his life is going to change.

Espresso Patronum by tasteofshapes (T, 15k)

When Draco reappears five years after the war and opens a wildly popular coffee shop, Harry’s pretty sure that Draco’s Up to Something. He just has to prove it.

An Improbable Bout of Summer Madness by acari (E, 16k)

Draco had planned a quiet, peaceful summer holiday with his son. The last thing he expected was to find Potter here, in Draco's little Cornish retreat. Making fudge in a shop? The idea was too ludicrous for words.

A Hyperactive Fruit, a Nasty Neighbour and a Love Story by synonym4life (E, 20k)

Potter’s pet Niffler is wreaking havoc in Godric’s Hollow and Draco, the Assistant Head to the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, is the one who has to deal with it. Repeatedly. The fact that Potter keeps coming to Draco’s office in grey jogging bottoms - repeatedly - does in no way help the matter.

Black Coffee on a Lonely Night by Femme (M, 21k)

Draco owns a café in the city. Harry's a MP who comes in every morning, newspapers in one hand, BlackBerry in the other, and orders a triple espresso macchiato.

Unexpected Turn by Oakstone730 (E, 27k)

English real estate developer Draco Malfoy is in America to find his long lost cousin and escape a scandal. When his car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, his trip takes an unexpected turn.