#i cant make him feel loved and i cant make him happy

[97linelover]

Better off without me - Kim Mingyu

18+ / mdi

summary: nearly 10 years.. that´s the time you´ve been with Kim Mingyu. But what if his plans about the future are not the same as yours?

What if the guy you love the most breaks your heart within seconds?

content: Idol Mingyu x non Idol reader, fight,angst, happy end,fluff, smut

wc: 3.8 k

a/n: I really love reading your guys opinion about my stories.

They say that after 10 years, you will be together forever.

After 10 years, you'll know each other's biggest flaws.

But what if 10 years meant nothing in the end?

You met him when you were 13; you just changed schools; he was the first one to talk to you. He was your first friend.

Your first friend took you out at night.

Your first real friend.

Your first kiss.

It was your first time having sex.

This is your first real relationship.

Your first apartment together.

This is your first time saying I love you.

Your first love.

And also your first heartbreak.

Kim Mingyu was the man who pushed you away, fast and painfully.

And the worst part? You did not notice.

It has been 9 years; next week it would've been 10 years. 10 years of you two together in a relationship.

Mingyu currently spends a lot of time in the studio; they had a comeback prepared. 4 months from now on until their comeback would be there.

You had been with him for every comeback until now; you were always at the front, supporting them. Your second family.

Seungkwan always went out with you for brunch; Joshua went shopping with you; and Wonwoo just talked to you for hours.

You were sure about Mingyu being your future.

When Joshua took you out to get a manicure and pedicure, you thought of nothing; when Jeonghan took you to buy yourself a pretty dress and some heels, you felt all giddy.

When you were styled perfectly, your hair falling perfectly over your shoulder, and your make-up done, you knew tonight was the night.

And when you were sitting in front of the man you loved deeply, you carried the entire world in your eyes.

The eyes Mingyu loved so deeply.

As you were giggling along to his jokes as you sipped on your wine, your perfect manicure was present as always.

Mingyu treated you like a princess.

He treated you like he always said, „You're the one that always supported me, baby; in the end, I'll spoil you like a queen.".

Mingyu made sure you were always taken care of; even if you did not need any of it, it was his priority.

„Baby," he whispered, taking your hand in his. The music was playing softly—your favorite song. The tears were prickling in your eyes. „You can probably imagine why we are here tonight," he smiled softly. He felt something tuck inside his chest.

The velvet box in his hand was making you beam with joy, but he suddenly let his hand down. „I can't do it," he whispered, swallowing the biggest lump he ever had in his throat.

He let go of your hand, and you felt all the air leaving your lungs. "Gyu," you whispered, confused. „What do you mean?"

Mingyu got up. „I can't marry you; I can't," he whispered, placing a couple of bills on the table. „Gyu, what the fuck are you talking about?" You got up, and the red wine got knocked over. You followed him outside. „Baby, please talk to me," you pleaded, and he walked to the car.

"You can't marry me, but why this? Why the ring? Are those years not enough?" you sobbed.

„I thought they were; I'm not sure about this anymore," he was shaking.

„What do you mean by this?" You pulled his arm so that he would look at you.

„Fuck Y/N, I CANT MARRY YOU BECAUSE I FUCKING FEEL UNDER PERMANENT PRESSURE WITH YOU," he screamed at you, so that you flinched at his words.

You could not utter a word: "You... what?" Your voice was barely a whisper.

"You're better off without me. I have tried to break it off a few times now. Wonwoo told me to try it, that the engagement will light up another spark," he rubbed over his face. „I thought I'd never tell you; I thought I could pull this off," he whispered, and he avoided your gaze at all costs.

„You're joking, right?" You said with a quivering voice, „Please tell me that this is not true." You felt your knees buckle. „We don't need to get married; you don't need to lie," you basically pleaded.

„I'll pack my things; I'll be gone by tonight," he said, opening the door of his car. „You can't do this to me, Gyu; you're the love of my life." You felt the tears running down your face by now.

„We grew apart by now, Y/N," he shrugged, getting inside the car. „I'm sorry for doing it like that."

„What do you mean? What is happening? I don't understand where this is coming from; we were happy, we were perfect for each other; you really want to leave me here." You held on to the car handle.

„Please let go," he whispered.

„So you really broke me while trying to propose," you gasped, taking a step back. „You really did that," you whispered while turning around, falling to your knees and sobbing. „Please get up; don't make a scene, please," he said, and you looked up at him. „Get the fuck away from me," you spat.

How could he be this cold after all those years?

Mingyu felt his heart break, but you did not see his emotions on the inside. How could you?

Seeing you like this is the worst scenario.

„I'll let Wonwoo Hyung know to get you," he said while driving off. He parked the car somewhere he could see you getting picked up by Wonwoo. He watched how he lifted you up—your fragile, sobbing body. How he buckled you up and drove away.

He did not see how you entered the apartment or how Wonwoo followed you, making you tea.

How have you tried to call him a thousand times?

How you packed your bags and how you called your parents to tell them that your trip to Germany with Mingyu would be cancelled because he did not feel so well.

How they told you that you could come alone, and how you agreed.

How you spent the entire night crying over a man you spent all your life with, how you threw away the dress, and how you slammed all the picture frames against the wall.

When he opened the door to the apartment the next day to grab some things, he found you gone. He saw the missing suitcase, and he found a letter on his nightstand.

„Gyu,

or Mingyu, I don't even know if I can call you any pet names anymore. I really don't know what has just happened; I can't get my head around this situation. I try to find the problem; I try to think about all the possibilities of what could've happened.

We were so happy—at least I was.

You, Kim Mingyu, were the reason for my happiness and for all the beautiful moments.

You helped me become the woman I am today, and I'm thankful for that.

My mom always taught me that things happen for a reason.

I don't know what the reason is now, but I'll try to live my life.

But I hope you understand that we will never have any kind of relationship—neither friends nor lovers. You broke my heart; you had now shame and no mercy. You did not care about me in the slightest. After nearly 10 years, you dumped me like a fucking trash bag.

Kim Mingyu I want you to be happy. I want seventeen to reach all the goals you've dreamed of; you guys are amazing.

With us being separated, I need to distance myself from my second family. Because how am I supposed to hang out with your best friends? You took it all away from me, but that's okay.

I'll survive.

Please stay healthy and happy.

I love you, Mingyu, with all my heart.

Your Y/N

"P.S. tell Jihoon that he can use all the audio snippets I recorded for him."

When Mingyu finished the letter, he felt the wetness on his cheek. He was sobbing.

He had lost the only person he had ever loved.

And now you were gone; he knew you were visiting your parents. He looked at the velvet box and choked on his sob.

Maybe in another time you both will get your deserved happy ending.

But as for now, you both needed to fix your broken souls.

-

Six months have passed since you last visited Seoul.

It's been six months since you've last worked inside the office.

It's been six months since you've seen him.

SVT invited you to their release party, and you were pretty sure you would not go, but as time passed, you wanted to be there.

You missed them so badly, and you thought maybe you wouldn't even see him.

Well, you were a fool.

The first thing you saw when you entered the building was the large frame of your ex-lover. He was standing next to Chan and Jihoon.

Nice, exactly the two people you wanted to see.

But before they could see you, you walked toward the bar.

You were happy that the location was crowded and people were not paying attention. With your cocktail in your hand, you walked around looking at the different album promotion pictures.

There was this one picture you could not stop looking at; it was Mingyu in the studio. It looked normal, but as you looked closer, you could see the ring he was wearing. The one you got him as a promise ring.

„He's not doing well." A voice startled you. „Nonu," you gasped, and he chuckled. „He's miserable, Y/N. Ever since you left, he has done the bare minimum."

You sighed, "Well, he wanted that, Nonu; he was the one that pushed me away. I was sure that he would be the one I'd marry, but suddenly he did not care about a thing." You tried to end this conversation.

„It's not how it seems, Y/N; there are some parts of the story you don't know; you should talk to him," he pecked your head. „I'm really happy you're here," and with that, he walked towards some other guests.

You tried not to think about his words, but it was harder than you thought.

As you made your way through the venue, you spotted some of the boys. „Y/N!!!!" Seungkwan yelled and ran towards you. „Hi kwannie," you giggled as he hugged you tight.

Cheol and the others also greeted you, but when Mingyu was standing in front of you, his brown eyes basically pleading for forgiveness, you felt like crying.

You were quick to avoid his gaze, but you felt it on you the entire time. „Excuse me," you said to Jeonghan, „I need to get a refill." You smiled, escaping the situation. The heels made it a lot harder to walk away with fast steps. You felt Mingyus presence behind you, „Y/N," he said while stopping you.

„What do you want?" You asked with a stable voice, and he gulped down at your tone. „I want to talk," he whispered as you ordered another drink, gulping it down.

"Now you want to talk?" You scoffed, "You ditched me after nearly ten years; you treated me like a random girl. After everything I did for you," you walked past him, "I will not talk to you tonight.".

Well, now that the night had changed, you were sitting on top of Mingyu, throwing your head back while riding him like you loved to. How he guided your hips with his long, slender fingers digging into your flesh.

The familiarity of your bodies made it so easy to feel good.

"Oh god, your pussy is so good," he groaned while you moved even faster. "Oh fuck," you said, feeling yourself getting close to the end, and you were a moaning mess.

When you both reached your highs, Mingyu tossed the condom away, and you suddenly felt sober. You gathered your clothes while Mingyu cleaned himself up. "What are you doing?" he asked, confused, and you walked past him. "Hey," he said, grabbing your arm. "Let go of me," you said, ashamed of yourself.

"Please stay," he whispered, but you could only choke out a sob. "This should not have happened, Gyu," you whispered, and he felt his heart clench at your words. "You don't mean that, baby; we were so good," he pleaded, holding on to you.

feeling that if he lets you go now, you're gone forever.

"You broke me, Mingyu; I spent the last six months trying to fix what you destroyed." You pulled your arm away and said, "So no, Mingyu, I won't stay just because you decided you still wanted me." You walked away.

"I always wanted you; I could just not tell you the truth." He whispered, but you did not hear it. 

You tried your best to ignore this feeling of missing him, but you couldn't; your heart yearned for him. Kim Mingyu was the man your heart belonged to. 

With each passing day, you realize that you need to talk to him, that you need to know what happened, and that he pushed you away. 

When you heard your phone vibrating, you rushed to your desk, where it was lying. 

You saw Wonwoo's name on there: "Nonu? Is everything alright?" you asked when you answered the call. 

"I'm fine, but can you do me a favor?" You raised your eyebrows, confused. "What is it, Nonu?" 

"Come to the recording studios, please," he breathed. "What is happening there, Nonu?" You were getting nervous, and he chuckled slightly and said, "Be there by 7 p.m., please." With that, he ended the call. 

You were pretty sure this was about Mingyu, and you were ready to find out. 

So you got ready, put on some comfy pants and a hoodie, slipped on your sneakers, and rushed to the bus. 

After a 30-minute journey, you were in front of the building you once visited regularly. "Y/N, oh my, it's been a long time," Juna said with open arms, pulling you into a hug. "Yes, sorry, I was so busy." You lied, and she looked at you. "We all know what happened, love, and I can totally understand that you wanted to have some distance." She smiled softly at you.

"So, have you seen Wonwoo?" You giggled, and she nodded. "He was here; he gave me this envelope for you and told me to guide you inside." You nodded, following her. 

You sat down, opening the envelope. 

You took a deep breath when you realized it was Mingyu's handwriting.

"My beloved Y/N,  I never thought the day would come that I would need to write those words to you and that I would push you away.   The only person that I ever loved.  Y/N, there are so many things I did not tell you; I couldn't.   I did everything I could so that I could act like this did not affect me, but in the end, I suffered in silence.   The members talked to me, and they told me I'm just the corpse of myself.  And they are right; I'm barely eating and barely active; actually, I'm working out even more because it takes my mind off, even if it's just for a few minutes.  I want to tell you why I did it and why everything escalated.  It all started with our comeback. We got a new manager, a woman whose name was Heejin.  She was not nice at all; she told us dating was a no-go, and we told her that some of us were happily taken.  She just laughed at that.  After a while, she began to manipulate us; she told us that we were not good enough, and every day she told us that no one could love an idol.  I began to believe her; we all did. I wanted to bury myself in a hole; I felt like a burden. Believe me when I tell you, I wanted to propose. When I looked into your sparkling eyes that night, I felt my heart bursting with love, but then the words of Heejin came back to my mind, and I could not do it anymore.  I wanted you to be happier.  I thought I could not give you this happiness.   But god damn, baby, believe me when I tell you that you are my happiness; you're all I ever wanted.  I can't live without you; I miss you, and I need you...  Hopefully someday you can look me in the eyes again and realize how much I adore you.  I love you. 

Your  Mingyu" 

You looked up, letting the tears roll down your cheeks. You never realized how he felt, and you could scream at yourself for that. 

The TV turned on inside the small room. "And today we have Seventeens Mingyu here, covering one of the saddest heartbreak songs at the moment." 

When the melody began to play, you felt the goosebumps rising. 

He was singing Kim Feel's Someday, the Boy, your favorite song. 

- 

You were lying on the couch, your heating pad on your tummy, while Mingyu was making you a fresh peppermint tea.  It was this time of the month that every woman hated.  You were currently watching a new drama called Itaewon Class, and you could not stop the tears. "Baby, what's wrong?" Mingyu hurried over to you, but you could only sob. "Oh, baby, you're too nice; you're always crying over movies," he chuckled while pulling you closer.  "Can you someday cover this song?" You whispered, "This would be the perfect song to fix my broken heart." You looked up at him, and he softly kissed you.  "Hopefully, I never need to fix your broken heart," he said, kissing your head.

-

When you heard his deep voice singing the words of the song, you tried your best to stay strong. 

"The sad memories in my heart

I can't erase it with the tears I shed. Where should I start deleting it? Only empty laughter"

You could see the teary eyes, and you were sobbing once again. His knuckles were white from how tight he grabbed the microphone. 

"A long time in the future, that person back then

Do you have everything you dreamed of?"

He finished the song with one tear running down his cheek, and then the TV got dark. People cheered after he finished, and you could not believe it. 

You jumped up, hurrying through the corridor. "He's in there," Juna said, pointing towards the dressing rooms. In this exact moment, you knew that Mingyu was your forever, and you wanted it. 

You rushed into the room, and he looked up. "Y/N," he said breathlessly. "I read it, I watched it, and now I am a mess," you whispered, your mind completely occupied by him. 

"But I realized that I just can't move on; you are what I want." His dark brown eyes watched you carefully. "You are more than enough for me, Gyu; you are enough." You walked towards him, and he watched every move you made. 

"How can you be so understanding when I messed up our entire relationship?" He had tears in his eyes, but you only pulled him close. "Because I promised you, Mingyu, we both are the endgame," you said, wiping the tears away. "I love you," you whispered, and you kissed him softly. 

He did not hesitate one second and pulled you close while his one hand was softly in your neck. This kiss was full of desperation and love. 

You walked with him until he landed on the couch with you on top, straddling him. 

The way you undressed each other was skilled; you knew each other's bodies blindly; your whimpers were like the best song he has ever heard; and the way his tongue twirled around your hardened nipples made you crazy. 

The way you were bouncing on his dick made him lose his mind; he felt like he would go insane with every passing minute. The way you whispered in his ear how much you missed this made his eyes roll to the back of his head. 

"I'm going to cum, baby," he groaned, and you nodded. "Fill me up, please. Wanna feel it?" You moaned, and you brought him over the edge.  He held you so close that you clawed your nails into his back until you both just calmed down against each other. 

And when you both lay in his bed with only some white sheets covering your bodies, he opened his nightstand. "Marry me," he whispered into your ear, and your eyes widened, letting out a gasp. "Gyu," you said, feeling the tears in your eyes. 

"I´m so sure, like I´ve never been before; you´re all I want, and I can't wait to spend my forever with you, so Y/N, please marry me." He opened the velvet box, and you nodded. "Yes," you squealed while kissing him.

"I love you so much, baby; you make me so happy," he said while putting the ring on your finger. "Us forever, Gyu," you kissed him softly. 

[januaryrabbit]

Request: how svt would deal with their crush being in a relationship already (their crush is their bff)

hello! thank you for requesting, im sorry its so late!! :) this scenario is kinda angsty so i hope you dont mind!!

seventeen when their crush (who happens to be their best friend) is in a relationship!!!

pairing: svt x gn!reader

word count: 2.3k

warnings: angst, Simping, Yearning

other disclaimers/notes: lowercase intended; barely proofread because it's 4am!!!, i’ve been watching wayyyyy too many coming of age films lately lmao!!!

✩‧₊˚Cope (trying to be normal)

vernon: vernon rolls with the punches in most any circumstance, and this is no exception. like Yeah….this shit sucks….but you guys are best friends, so he has to deal with it. i don’t think this would affect him too much tbh,,,like i think the fact that he’s in love with you is something he rarely even admits to himself. i feel like he always has it in the back of his mind, but nothing more than that. i think he’d be able to ignore his feelings the most successfully out of all the members because vernon’s realistic with himself and he knows there’s no point in being hurt over something that’s out of his control. none of this stops him from loving you, but that’s something for him to know and you to never find out lol. seungkwan knows about vernon’s feelings btw. he (vernon) figures that if he had to tell anyone…it would be him, and for whatever reason, he felt compelled to tell at least one person about all of this. vernon doesn’t know why, but it feels better knowing that someone knows his true feelings, even if that someone isn’t, and probably can never be, you.

s.coups: you know that face he makes after the girl rejects him in mansae??? Yeah. Yeah that’s him at all times lmao. he cant say hes mad at anyone in this situation, except maybe the universe lmao. i think he just regards this whole situation has his life’s hugest bruh moment LOL. he’s gotten okay at pretending like everything’s fine when he’s around you, because in his mind, there’s nothing else he can do. there was no way he was going to end his friendship with you, but there was also no way he could confess his feelings to you. in private, he’s talked to some of the boys about it in private - mostly jeonghan and joshua, but sometimes when he’s feeling particularly frustrated with the situation, he goes to woozi, who is able to ground him every time he feels like he can’t take it anymore. seungcheol knows that to others, being friends with you while still being in love with you doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense; but if it meant you were still in his life to some capacity, that was all that mattered to him.

joshua: the definition of smiling thru the pain…like he’s literally katy perry They ask you how you sre and you just have to say that youre fine even though youre not fine like. i think more than anything, he’s not too torn up over this situation than he is irritated. the mention of your partner makes his eye twitch LMFAO. like when you come back from going on a trip with them, you start telling joshua about everything you did together and he’s like THAT’S SO COOL Y/N . I’M SO GLAD YOU GUYS HAD FUN. *eye twitch* LOL. tries his best not to go overboard with it or make it obvious that he’s being sarcastic - he’s aware enough to know that your happiness is important and that unless there’s a legit reason one day, he doesnt have any grounds for disliking your s/o too LOL. i think he’s probably overly cautious if you ever tell him that you and your s/o were having problems as well. like he would be try really hard to be neutral if you ever asked him for his opinion on a situation that happened between you and your partner. i think he would feel guilty about being your confidant while having these feelings for you,,as much as he wants to tell you to break up with them and be with him instead, he knows how terribly selfish of him it would be to put you in that situation. so, he endures it everyday.

dk: dude……HE IS ALSO SMILING THROUGH THE PAIN…..but like HES ALSO CRYING….SO BAD….like. he tries REALLY hard to keep everything lighthearted around you - any time the conversation gets even close to being serious, he always pivots to a different topic. some of the other boys can tell something’s the matter when he’s around you, but they can’t quite place what’s different about him. when he’s around you, he just seems ever-so-slightly…off. his smile is less bright, his jokes are a little less frequent, and he’s actually kind of quiet when people are around you two. it’s a weird sight to see, and dk knows this; he knows that others have noticed, but he’s trying as hard as he can to behave as naturally as he can around you. i think he’s one of the members that would be pretty broken up about the situation, similar to mingyu. i don;t see him being able to deal with something like this well. i think he definitely goes to the other boys for comfort about this, to the point where his feelings for you are kind of an open secret amongst them lmao. (except dino because seungkwan begged everyone not to tell him because he thinks dino would make it obvious that dk likes you so they leave him in the dark!!!) 

seungkwan: bruh seungkwan tries so hard to be normal around you but then he’ll text vernon “im third wheeling y/n again please kill me” in the same breath. sometimes when he’s falling asleep at night he’s just like god how did i end UP in this situation!!!!!  he’s more of the kind of person who’s pouty about it instead of sad about it. he just finds the situation annoying more than anything, and he wishes that you would just REALIZE HE’S IN LOVE WITH YOU ALREADY!! but he’s alright with waiting it out. i think he’s one of the members who would be not very fond of your partner LMAO. every time they greet seungkwan he’s just like “oh hey -___- how are you -___-” and your partner is like babe how do i get seungkwan to like me and you’re like HAHA he’s just like that, he needs to warm up to you!! (seungkwan knows this is not the case with this specific person.) but yeah, i think seungkwan also holds out hope that one day the two of you will end up together. i don’t think he would go as far as to ruin your relationship or influence you to break up with your partner, but i think he would definitely confess if you ever became single again LOL. i think it would be a teary confession too, because he’s been bottling up all these feelings for a while.

✩‧₊˚depression.

chan: oh my lee chan…i think he would fucking die in this situation!!! it would just, Destroy him. and you could tell there was something seriously wrong…he just wasn’t his usual excited self anymore, and he was suddenly beginning to avoid you out of nowhere. dino doesn’t want to do this; he doesn't want to be anywhere but by your side, but that place isn’t for him anymore and he knows that all too well. i think he would be one of the only people who would actually confess his feelings at some point, regardless if you were in a relationship or not. i think one day he would reach his breaking point and ust blurt it out because he just can’t take it anymore. i think part of him, although he feels guilty for it, knows that telling you about it is the first step he needs to take for him personally to move on. the only thing that hurts him more than not being able to be your person is keeping a secret this huge from you.

jun: dude this is the cat version of a kicked puppy. like. jun is NOT ok…..and he’s not very good at hiding it i think. i think you’d be able to tell that something was wrong, but jun is terrified about talking about this with you, so you never really find out what’s bothering him. i dont think he’s one who would ever end up telling you about his feelings. in fact, he might be one of the only ones who lets your friendship naturally drift apart because of his feelings for you. it’s not that he doesnt want to be in your life, but he also wants to get over you more than anything. but i think it would be incredibly difficult for him to see you as just a friend tbh, so for as long as you’re dating your partner, i think he’d keep his distance sadly.

hoshi: the light in this man’s eyes have unironically left. like. the thought of hoshi being sad over you……..I CAN’T BEAR IT!!! yeah i think he would take this all pretty hard. though unlike jun, i don;t think hoshi would be able to stay away from you and keep his distance. you’re too precious of a person in his life, and not to say that you aren’t in other scenarios with other members, but i just see hoshi being firm about still being in your life. in fact, he’s one of the few guys that i think is secretly hopeful that one day down the road you’ll end up together. he doesn’t ever voice these feelings to anyone; he knows it’s ridiculous to feel this way about someone who’s already taken, and he feels that if he voices it to someone that he’s going to get bad karma, LMAO. should you ever become single again though is a different story though….

mingyu: for some reason have this vibe that being in this situation would literally destroy him and eat him alive…i just feel like he’s someone who truly loves really, really hard, and adding in the fact that you’re his best friend magnifies the pain by hundreds. what do you fucking do when the person you love most in this world doesn’t return your feelings? he would be really torn up about this because on one hand, he’s never felt this way about someone before, and he wants nothing more than to be with you; but what he wants more than that is for you to be happy, and if that isn’t with him, he has to accept that. sadly, i feel like at some point this would be too much for him,,,like to the point where he keeps his distance from you a bit. he feels awful, but it’s just too hard for him to hear about you and your partner and act like nothing’s wrong when you’re around :(

✩‧₊˚avoidant

woozi: i feel like he might be a little hot and cold about it. he is Not happy in this situation, and it frustrates him that he cant really do anything about it except deal. he doesn't really like talking about your s/o and he tries his best to hide it, but you can kinda tell that there's something wrong. but when you ask him about it, he says he's totally fine! i don't think woozi would dare to ever let his feelings for you come to light, and as unhappy as it makes him to not be honest with you, he just doesn't feel comfortable with telling someone he has feelings for them when said person is in a relationship. as little of a fan he is of your s/o, woozi knows that if he was in their shoes, he wouldn't be happy if someone confessed to you while the two of you were dating. i think he would need some distance to get over you, and i think the only way that it would happen is by throwing himself into his work and begrudgingly spending a LOT of his time with hoshi LMAO!!

minghao: would distance himself by making a bunch of life changes to keep him busy so he can eventually get over you. minghao values you too much, so he figures the best solution is to take time to himself so he can get over you in a healthy way with space from you. he isn’t happy about seeing you less, but he knows that it’s what needs to be done in order for him to heal from this situation. would definitely have a vague excuse ready if you ever asked him why he was distant from you; i cannot see any universe where minghao would ever admit he used to have feelings for you, even if it had been years past. he’s keeping this one in the vault LMAO, not even jun knows!!

wonwoo: bruh…..he’s. he’s in pain. but he’s keeping it all inside. i think he’d feel really selfish for harboring these feelings toward you while you’re dating someone else. your partner was perfectly friendly to wonwoo,,,like it makes him feel WORSE that he’s in love with you. he tries to forget his feelings, even getting into relationships once in a while, but everything always comes back to you. i feel like this is a secret he’s told absolutely NO ONE at all because of how much it weighs on his heart. the only soul who does know to some extent is mingyu, because he caught wonwoo crying one day when he came home early from work. wonwoo didn’t really get into the details, but he did admit that it he had unrequited feelings for someone. mingyu didn’t pry, and he still never has. 

jeonghan: there is Pain behind his eyes lol but he is keeping this secret in the Vault fr. Maybe, M a y b e s.coups MIGHT know, but that’s about it. jeonghan is one of the only people i can imagine is completely normal around you and no one can tell that there’s anything wrong. the only reason that seungcheol knows anything is because he knows jeonghan the best, and he could tell by the way that he hung onto your every word that he had feelings for you. but yeah, i think jeonghan would have the easiest time living with this secret from you. sometimes he does feel a little guilty, and honestly sometimes he does flirt with you lightly, but nothing to arouse any serious suspicion. mostly he’ll just say he likes your outfit or something when you’re hanging out, which is harmless in his mind. it does bother him that the person he’s in love with is dating someone else, but i think jeonghan would just be like “what else can i do at this point??” and continue with his life. not much changes between the two of you, besides jeonghan being a little more quiet when the topic of your relationship or partner comes up, but it’s not something you notice anyway. and such is life, whether jeonghan is truly okay with it or not.

[poppy-metal]

hi hello yes can I hear about what tashi's training sessions for art look like. I think if I don't hear more about this I shall explode

hehe - the thing is, arts kind of a natural at it. he just had the wrong view on bdsm as a whole - as most people who dont partake in it do - thinking it was all whips and chains and the more severe side of things and, and, art cant see himself wanting to hit you with things like a whip - or wanting to chain you up. but tashi is more than happy to teach him its much more than that.

"bdsm is mostly about mutual trust and consent." she states more or less plainly. and art kinda blinks because he hadn't thought about it that way. he likes the idea of trust and consent. its kinda his whole thing. "the sub has the power." that makes his eyebrows draw together.

"but. they're getting dominanted - isn't. doesn't that mean giving up power... to the dom?"

tashi shakes her head. he's so naivě. "its about the submissive giving that control over willingly. and having the power to retract that submission back at any point they desire. its a gift. they're trusting their dom to give them what they need. bdsm should always be about the subs pleasure. sometimes that pleasure looks different for different couples. a sub could find pleasure in being hit, sure, but they could also find pleasure in servicing their dom. in following rules. in simply being told to sit and look pretty. the doms pleasure should come from fulfilling that. a good dom, anyway."

when she puts it like that - its easier for art to hop on board. he hadn't thought of it that way, but he thinks about it now. about you trusting him, trusting him with what turns you on, gifting him your submission and trusting him to give you what you need. he likes that alot.

"you can practice on patrick and me." tashi tells him and he chokes.

its news to him to learn both patrick and tashi are switches. well, both of them lean more dominant, but sometimes they like the feeling of giving that power up. though she explains they both have more of a tendency to be a brat.

"i have a feeling you'll like brat taming. especially when it comes to your wife - she doesn't know it yet, i think. but she's definitely in need of discipline. its why she wants to be spanked."

and though art was initially against the idea of laying his hand on you, on anyone - tashi again explains it to him in a way that makes perfect sense somehow. like all the pieces of a puzzle sliding into place, fitting perfectly.

"brats usually just want one thing - attention. being brought to heel after acting out is your way of showing them you hear them. you care about them enough to correct their behavior and set them on the right path."

she also adds, "it's also a really high endorphin rush - challenging someone and having that challenge met. that's what i like about it. with giving and receiving. i like being challenged and coming out on top, and i like doing the challenging and meeting my match."

and suddenly he thinks he understands you better than he ever has before. he'd thought you cruel. spiteful and he'd wondered if you even loved him anymore countless times. through this lense though - a new narrative comes to light. one where you just want his attention. where you just want him to show you he cares. he thinks he's neglected you terribly in that aspect. he's always one to back down and concede. he didn't want to overstep your boundaries, but maybe you'd simply been issuing a challenge this whole time and he'd refused to strike back. he feels stupid for not realizing it sooner.

tashi sees him realize it, and puts her hand over his. "would you like to try? i know i said the submissive is the one with the power - but a doms feelings are just as important. you should both want it."

he does want to try.

its a different dynamic than he's used to with tashi. when together, she usually takes the lead. there hasn't been any..... bdsm elements to their sex, but he definitely follows her direction. in a way - its not that different. he's listening to what she tells him. and she's not shy about what she likes.

she doesn't like to be smacked hard - quick swats on her ass are what she likes best. alternating between cheeks so the burn isn't delegated to just one area.

she spreads herself over his lap in her little black panties and wiggles her butt. she smirks at him over her shoulder - "its okay to get into it." she tells him. "a brat wants to piss you off. they want a reaction. its no fun if you're being a pussy about it -"

art swings his hand down then - because a little spark of irritation does go through him - he hates being called names. tashi gasps and rocks back into it. art feels himself harden. bites his lips as he palms her ass.

"green?" because he'd learned the color system just about an hour ago.

tashi arches back against him - "green." she reassures him and he spanks her again. the moan she lets out is encouragement enough to keep going.

he's suprised by how much he likes it. he likes smoothing his palm over her ass after a smack, soothing her into a false sense of security before he's at her again. he feels the heat from her skin from each smack. feels the damp of her cunt against his thigh and he imagines you like this. spread out over his lap, but you're squirming, squirming away from the pain but you're still saying green everytime he asks.

you're not tashi though - so he reigns in the urge he has to suddenly hit harder. focuses in on tashi again.

but she smiles at him like she knows where his mind went anyway.

"i bet she'd like it harder." tashi goads. she's rubbing her pussy against his thigh. "knowing her - yeah, she'd want you to beat her black and blue. until she was crying. then she'd want you to kiss it better. coddle her like the baby she is."

his cock throbs in his sweats. he palms her ass. "tashi." he warns.

"c'mon you've had to imagine it. I know i have." she huffs and continues to rock back and forth against him. getting herself off. "god, she'd look so hot with her little ass turned red. you could probably slide right inside her after - she'd be so fucking wet - ah!"

art spanks her again. than again. again and again until tashi is panting and he's sliding a hand under her body to slip his fingers inside her cunt where shes hot and wanting

"yes, that's it." she gasps. "god you're so good at this -"

he takes the praise in stride, pumps his fingers aggressively into her until shes creaming around him. shuddering in his lap.

he runs a palm down her slick back. gentle. thinks about you again, and how soft and limp you'd be after he was done with you. how he'd get to just hold you after and pour his love into you and you'd be too fucked out to do anything but accept it.

tashi sits up. she palms his hard cock and art groans.

"now i want you to think of her." she tells him as she slides her hand into his sweats and grips him in her fist. "fuck my hand like its her mouth. show me how you'd make her take it -"

art thinks this'll be the end of him. he loses himself in the thought. its like tashi isn't even there. there's just the heat of her palm around his dick and he's punching his hips up into the tight circle of it - thinking of the wet tight heat of your throat. he thinks of all the harsh words you'd spewn his way recently - thinks of punishing you for them - for being a lying little brat - why couldn't you just tell him this is what you wanted - he would have learned sooner - he would have done anything you wanted - but you're so fucking stubborn. such a stubborn girl. more so than he is, because at least now hes trying. hes changing for you.

he'll come get you. and then he'll have a few things to show you - things will be different. you'll see.

[puck-bunny-for-all]

my lil teddy bear - N.H

@regan.rose : adventure time🤖

tagged : @nicohischier

location : a cliff

jackhughes : are you ever not hugging each other

↪ regan.rose : are you upset that nico loves someone other than you now?

↪ jackhughes : HE LOVES ME STILL YOU BITCHH

↪ lhughes_06 : could you just not argue for once in your short lives !?!?

dawson1417 : can I come next time !???!!!?!!?

↪ regan.rose : no , no you cannot

pally_18 : who tf was your photographer!?

↪ regan.rose : that's classified . but it might have been someone with the same last name as my boyfriend , again not at liberty to say sorry.

john.marino97 : the sun makes it look like you have one eyebrow in the second slide lol

jesperbratt : WOW NICO , TAKING HER TO OUR SPOT SMH

tmeier96 : this is unacceptable ... im his real love

bssmith2 : happy fam 💖💖

ehaula : y'all are gonna have cute ass kids one day

tofff73 : this makes me want to push you both off the cliff.... 🫸🏻🫸🏻🫸🏻

nicohischier : my favorite camping partner , I love you !🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

curtislazar95 : too bad he brought you back home with him lol

akiraschmid93 : I SPY A NATURE LOVING COUPLE

↪ holtz_10 : what an amazing observation

siegenthaler34 : how are y'all so close to each other in that tent it has to be HOT ASF

↪ regan.rose : wellllllll.... when nico is in the tent it gets steamy

dougieham : my favorite captain and co

naterbastian : fancy fancy

jesperboqvist : WHO WAS THE PHOTOGRAPHER AND WHY WERE THEY ALLOWED!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

↪ regan.rose : BECAUSE I LIKE MY PHOTOGRAPHER

jobernier45 : beep

kevinbahl88 : boop

ninahischier : had a blast !! cant wait to do it again!

A.N :

HIiiii, I just got back from the beach, doing my requests even though I feel like Im not doing great rn . I hope you likeee :D

taggs : @noahkahansorangejuice @skylershines @quinnylouhughesx43

[smoshyourheadin]

reader and spencer meet in college and can we get a college!spencer i’d imagine he’s so sweet and cute and nerdy goofy 🤭

college spencer agnew headcannons

a/n: may i just say u guys EAT with ur requests?? ugh i love y’all!!! baby spencer my beloved!!! also i made these hcs applicable to friend or boyfriend spencer so interpret it however u want <33!

-takes a film production course

- ur on the same course (NERD!!)

- ur professor asks you guys to hold a study group together as part of ur grade and thats how you bonded

- u make cookies and when u give him one he almost cries bc he feels so loved by u!!

- will bring his switch to lectures so u guys can play mariokart

- he runs a indie music and film society

- i feel like he volunteers as a tutor for underclassmen bc he loves sharing his passions w ppl

- i can 100% imagine you guys bumping into eachother in the halls rom-com style where ur papers fall on the floor and he helps u pick them up

- he sometimes sits alone in the cafeteria, so when u sit with him it makes him feel so happy :,)

- u guys both do a random film elective and your live talking to him about movies bc he just understands ur views on movies!!

- he deffo loves studying w u bc u motivate him to be his best self!!

- brings u redbulls

- if he lives in the dorm room next to the yours, so he brings u food he orders

- sometimes if u go to his dorm you’ll walk in on him absolutely KILLING some just dance, like fully breakdancing

- so you drag him to a bar and you guys TEAR UP the dancefloor

- if u work on campus he always comes to visit u with stickers that say ‘good job!’ or ‘you smashed it!’ bc he appricates what you do but is js so unserious ab it LMAOOO

- if u sleep in his dorm room you guys stay up talking together and listening to his cd player he brought from home

- 100% in a d&d club

- you guys have a bookstore on campus that you go to and you spend hours making him carry ur books

- if theres any bars around school he signs up for open night and makes you watch him (tntl stand up ily)

- on the rare occasion he goes to a football game he brings facepaint in your school colours so he can draw dicks on all his friends faces

- actually really smart

- at graduation you’re sat next to eachother, so you make matching grad caps that say ‘i’m with stupid’ and you have the arrows that point to eachother

- lets u wear his scool merch bc its oversized on u and ur like ‘no spencie pleeeease let me have this sweater!!’ and he cant say no bc otherwise you’d stop giving him cookies

- had a lizard for a year or so before releasing it bc he felt bad about it being in his dorm all the time

- honestly makes school survivable for u (king!!)

[wannabelife]

hoshi + 22 + angst + friends to lovers?

(ok i won’t send in amy more lol. thank you for any that you do answer! i love your games. they’re so fun and cute and you do such a good job)

awww thank u so so much, i keep doing them because you guys like it, and im always so happy that you join them!! im grateful <33!!!

you have a problem... you thought it was just some drunk state thought, but it wasn't. It's been a week, and you can stop looking at your friend differently. you accidentally read some sexting he was sending that in your defense, he let it open for anyone to see, and that just ended up being you. and now you can't help but look at him and remember it, and fuck, he's hot.

you let the liquid courage run through you and go up to him "hey, do you wanna dance?"

he looks at you like you grew two heads, and you almost spit something like "wrong person" or "nevermind" but he answers you before you make it worse "alright" he says.

his hands meet yours, and he's pushing you to the dance floor. firstly, it's almost akward as you dance not nearly close to each other. he laughs, the back of his hand making contact with his nose as he tries to mascara it.

"what?" you scream above the music, suddenly feeling annoyed.

"nothing... it's just.... funny?" he sounds unsure, and you get closer to him thinking you heard it wrong, whats so funny? "you asked me to dance and are meters away from me" he adds

"oh.." its all that you say and he laughs again, and you just want to slap him and scream him to stop laughing, you feel embarrassed as fuck.

he gets closer, extending his hand to you "can i?" he says, and you take it. he pulls you to him kinda harshly as you yelp. you both starting to move again, now closer. you feel your insides boiling in excitement and your body burns.

your bodies meet enough, he directing your hand to the nap of his neck as his go to your waist, leading you to follow his moves. his palm spreading on your lower back as you keep getting closer. you make eye contact and suddenly you're out of breath. he presses you to him and you whimper but gladly he cant hear because of the music. your face hiding on his neck as you stay like this for awhile.

"look up" his hot breath hits your ears, and you feel your core clenching. when you do what he said, in one motion, he's turning you around, your ass crashing to his clothed center as you can feel the outline of his cock. you whimper again, fuck, you're gone.

you keep dancing, and you can't help but move your ass on him. his grip gets tighter, noticing what you're doing. he softly pulls your hair to the side, getting close to your ear again "be careful" he whispers, a silent warn to you.

"for what?" you play dumb.

"dont start what you can't finish" he states and you're the one laughing this time.

"i never start something i can't finish"

he stays silent after that, not knowing if he's taking it right or wrong, but there's no other way to take it.

"wanna get out of here?" he finally says the magic words, and you can finally agree.

[lovecrazedpup]

trying to be strong and think reasonably vs my unwavering belief that im an awful person and hes going to leave me

[tubbytarchia]

I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional

[luck-of-the-drawings]

smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

[iangallagherisadeadman]

post-s11 Tami definitely gets tired of Lip and leaves him.

yes, I do like them as a couple, I think it is an interesting dynamic and that Tami is good for him honestly, even though they lived completely different lives and crash so many times because of it throughout the last seasons.

fact is Lip won't ever change and will keep making the same kind of mistakes and she will get fed up with it eventually. they'll go different ways, maybe keep a somewhat friendly relationship, and she will get a new partner and Lip will have a Sean kind of relationship with Fred: that kid is the most important thing in his whole life and he's constantly hunted by the fear of drinking again and hurting Fred.

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

[cradle-of-darkness]

COOKIES OF DARKNESS NATION WE ARE OFFICIALLY BACK 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

(long rambling in tags if u care)

[scariddler]

it’s so unlikely at this point but if we get a single mention of bpd dennis in dtamtd i’ll lose my mind. she border on my line until i personality on her disorder. duuuuude. nobody understands what bpd dennis means to me. he’s just like me (a guy who feels things immensely until he truly doesn’t feel them at all). when he lets his rage consume him utterly because it’s the only way he can express things without breaking down. having a grandiose self-image and a need to appear perfect in every way but it’s all just a front because otherwise his insecurities would literally eat him alive. truly believing that he is the epitome of health and excellence even though his body is actively falling apart. his unwavering codependency but sometimes outright hatred towards mac perfectly depicts what it’s like to have a favorite person. loving someone so much but all you’ve ever known is people leaving you so you don’t know how to express gentleness. loving someone more than anything so you must dig your claws into them to keep them by your side. or catfish them with anal beads. whatever

[anxiously-sidequesting]

So I don't know if it was ever revealed how Duncan felt when we killed Malistaire all three times but I'm wondering if maybe some part of him could hate us for that too. Like you hear that and you go "but why. Malistaire was terrible and even Duncan knew that(?). Why would he hate you for getting rid of him."

But like I think it's so....... interesting in a very, very, very sad way how Duncan so easily latches onto anyone who directly feeds into his delusions of grandeur. And that's no fault of his own that he was manipulated by the nasty Schism but when you think about how desperately clung to the idea that Malistaire, easily one of the greatest necromancers any of us had ever heard of (at that time), somehow actually recognized Duncan's talents (even when canon supports that Duncan wasn't all that talented, at least no more than the next necromancer) and then praised him for it so often that Duncan believed that he would be the next Death Professor is. I mean ☹️

So like with that mindset I unfortunately feel like it would be quite easy to twist even Malistaire's death as something that's horrible and awful and all our fault. ESPECIALLY if the Schism was feeding into Duncan's already broken mind and shattered ego and was constantly telling him that everything bad that ever happened to him ever in his life was Our Fault. That's like a realistic conclusion that someone like Duncan could come to

And like, at this point in time, are Malistaire's crimes even a factor in how he thinks????? Was Duncan ever able to separate Malistaire's talent and skills and prowess from the terrible and awful things he did? If Duncan wasn't able to consciously tell that distinction in the first place I can't imagine it would be any better during the years he was being manipulated and isolated and lied to

Like in Duncan's mind it probably isn't, "maybe I shouldn't idolize a national criminal, or idolize anyone at all for that matter, and aspire to be like someone so harmful when I can recognize my own talent and build from there" it's probably more like, "you (the wizard) permanently got rid of a brilliant mind, an innocent person who just made a few mistakes, and someone who believed in me no matter what just so that you could be the better than me and loved by everyone else" and that's! very sad actually!

[horrorsummerromance]

“If you run now, I’m alright with that. I’ve got nothing left. I don’t want to be your burden.” KinnPorsche (2022).

[straawberries]

hi happy halloween im out of food again

please commission me or donate

ive pretty much given up on being able to afford moving out so just being able to afford to live until i get kicked out would be nice

c*sh*pp (does this actually need to be censored?) is delilahswagga, p*yp*l is @delilahkill

not asking for a lot here even a few people donating a few dolalrs or getting 2 dollar commissions would help me a lot