#im trying hard to think normally and be normal but everything just leads back to ‘im the issue i should die hes going to leave me’

[rinhaler]

I have had the WORST separation anxiety since my friendship breakup I’m genuinely in a lot of distress most of the time and I’m clinging to my bf so much it’s actually a bit pathetic

[lovecrazedpup]

trying to be strong and think reasonably vs my unwavering belief that im an awful person and hes going to leave me

[dumbslvtforethan]

∿ DEVOTED TO YOU ethan landry

— summary: ethan helps you relieve some tension

warnings smut, fingering, pet names, dom!ethan, sub!reader, innocent reader, implications of murder, lmk if i missed anything 1,215 words

navigation

𐙚 mdni!! ↓↓ 𐙚༘⋆ೀೀ

YOU’VE BEEN GRUMPY ALL DAY unsure of the reason but pondering the rush that filled your blood whenever you kissed your boyfriend, ethan, puzzled by this new different sort of heat that you've been feeling lately, your panties have been a little wetter than normal when you'd come home, you thought it was some kind of illness.

ethan on the other hand was far from innocent, he knew exactly what you were feeling. he liked having you as his little pet, after all, he looked huge beside you, making his desire of being inside you way more intense. you had very serious attachment issues, having to be close to him at all times to be fully fulfilled and happy. although he tried to use that as an advantage, you were not very fond to touch him sexually, whenever he'd take a step further in you would just push his hand away or make up an excuse, maybe it had to do with what you've been through, which, you never told ethan. it also didn't help that he looked giant beside you, he could easily crush you whole with his hand if he really wanted to.

although you were both happy with the relationship, ethan wanted to take a step further, he wanted to feel you, your body, but he never did, afraid it would crush your fragile melancholy. what you didn't know at the time was that his big hands would help cure your little "illness".

"alright, lets go home" he said taking you by the waist after you've given a bit of an attitude to mindy that was not very usual of you. "why" you whined in his arms not pulling him away just questioning his movements "baby come on" you gave in, following him to the door of mindy's apartment. the walk home was rather unusual. when a girl gave you a disgusted glance at you snapped "you look like a whore in that outfit" you yelled, the girl looked even more disgusted and a bit confused "yeah and your boobs look awfu- " your phrase got cut short when your boyfriend picked you up and put you over his shoulders, a thing that happened more often than you would think. "what is up with your attitude recently?" he questioned his sweet and fragile girlfriend that had recently developed a strange habit of taking back.

you were now sitting on ethan's lap reflecting about what just happened. he would never admit it but your usual straddle of his lap would always leave him rock hard, at first he would just try to hide it but after seeing that you were rather naive he never really hid it anymore. "are you going to tell me what's wrong?" he questioned after a long minute of silence "its just embarrassing" "why would it be embarrassing baby you can tell me everything" you sighed "its just, i've been feeling hot lately, specially when i see you or when you kiss me and when i get home and go to the bathroom im all wet down there" you started to sob in ethan's shoulder convinced that you were sick. ethan on the other hand had a huge smirk on his face, who would've thought that his ego would go up so fast in less than 5 minutes?

"where does it hurt baby?" "here?" he asked putting a hand on your stomach "lower" he lowered his hand playing with the waistband of your shorts "can i take this off?" you nod. that action reveals the sight of your glistening pussy, something he had never seen before but certainly fantasized about it. you unexpectedly take his hand and place it right on top of your clit, you throw your head back and moan at the slight touch. it was at that moment that ethan realized you had never been touched that that was probably the reason why you've always rejected him, rejected his touch. "lets go to my room" he said taking your hand and leading you to your room. he closed the door "do you wanna learn how to relieve this feeling baby? i can teach you" your legs trembled as you eagerly nodded you both sat in front of your mirror you infront of him. "open your legs baby" he whispered in your ear sending you shivers "theres a lot of ways to feel good, you can do it like this" he rubbed your clit fastly. you throwed your head back once again, "you can do this too" he put two fingers in, pumping them up and down "ugh" you moaned already cumming on his fingers releasing a week worth of a horny feeling. "do you want to learn more?" you nod eagerly.

and there you were watching him layed down on the bed with his glistening cock sprung out. "it wont fit ethan" you said concernedly examining his length "come on you havent even tried, you'll feel much better baby" he gestured you to come, you crawled on top of him and aligned his dick with your wet entrance. "just sit on it" and so you did. "e-etha-nn" you moaned the most pornographic sound you've ever heard "its too big, i cant do it" you only had his tip in, but you already felt so full "thats just the tip baby you're not even halfway" you sighed sinking down completely “there you go” he smiled “my pretty girl took all my cock huh?” you nodded. it was a burning pain at first, after all, practically half of your body was full of his dick. you layed down on his chest hugging him of exhaustion “you gotta move baby” he whispered in your ear.

you started to bounce up and down his dick, loud moans escaping from your mouth each time you made a movement, even the slightest one. you came on his dick in less than 5 minutes and ethan was loving it. he was loving the sight of you cockdrunk milking his dick, gushing out your pussy juices uncontrollably. he quickly switched positions, him being on top of you, he started to move his hips fastly “ethan!” you moaned loudly cumming for the second time of the night, only this time you didn’t stop, still gushing out cum. “im gonna cum baby” he said pulling out and releasing himself on your tits. he layed down beside you breathing heavily and hugged you “so how was it?” he was out of breath “amazing, can we do it again soon?” “of course” he got up and dressed “i love you okay but i gotta go, ill see you tomorrow” he gave you a kiss on the cheek and left

and now you were alone and missing your boyfriend, so you called him “babe?” you said “whats up baby?” he was breathing heavily “i miss you” your eyes started tearing up “remember that teddy bear i gave you? hold on to it, i just gotta do some important stuff here but once im finished i’ll come see you, i love you, see you soon” and with that he finished the call, sure you heard some screaming in the back and he was breathing heavily but ethan couldn’t even hurt a fly, he could never be a killer, right?

- @dumbslvtforethan on tumblr

a/n: heres the request for this one

[chaosisalwayscrying]

HEELS

⇥ synopsis : you and matt go on a nice date, but after your feet start to hurt

⇥ warnings : none! pure fluff

⇥ extra : lim not the biggest fan of this, i think i did too much plot building but i hope you guys like it !! please send in requests also, theyll be worked on after my scheduled fics come out! 🫶🏻

⇥ masterlist !

⇥ taglist !

   it was just past three pm when matt sauntered into the living room and told you to get ready for a date. at first you were skeptical, normally matt was spontaneous and just took you out in every day clothes, so telling you to get ready was new.

   "get ready?" you questioned, raising an eyebrow at him from your spot on the couch.

   "yeah, we're going to a fancy dinner, i wanted to surprise you with it." he said, starting to mess with the rings on his fingers, an obvious anxiety tell.

   "how fancy? like slightly more put together fancy or nice dress and heels fancy?" you ask, already beginning to mull over what outfit you'll wear.

   "nice dress and heels fancy, the reservation is at seven so you have plenty of time to get ready” he said, a bright smile now on his face.

you stood from the couch, immediately going to matt and pressing a kiss on his lips. “thanks for this matty, im gonna go shower. i love you” you said, pressing another kiss to his cheek as you practically ran to the bathroom.

matt stood there, a deep blush on face. he never really got embarrassed, but your excitement and words towards him made him want to giggle like a little girl.

—————

matt was banned from his and your shared room while you got ready, since you wanted to surprise him. you even went as far as to make chris come get matts clothes you picked out and lock him in chris’ room.

after you buckled the straps on your heels, you stood and went out of matts room to the floor length mirror in the living room, scanning over your outfit and hair to make sure everything was perfect before letting chris know to bring matt up.

you turned once you heard a door open and quick footsteps coming up the stairs. as matt turned the corner, his eyes immediately locked on you. you made your way over to him, his awestruck expression making you smile.

“hi” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck and his hands immediately landing on your waist. “hi” he said back, eyes trailing over your face and outfit, a slight blush creeping up his neck.

you placed a kiss on his lips before stepping back and doing a small spin, letting matt take in your whole outfit. a silk dress that hugged your waist and hips just right but the skirt flowed just a little, and nice stiletto heels.

“you look beautiful, baby” matt mumbled, still staring at you wide-eyed. “are you sure those heels will be comfortable?” he asked, eyebrows furrowing. he knew you hated wearing high heels because they hurt your feet, and he didnt want you to be in pain just because of his date idea.

“thank you, and yes im sure, i’ll be fine for just dinner” you reassured, stepping forward again to place another kiss on his lips. “now come on, we have a date to go on” you smiled, grabbing his hand to lead back down the stairs to chris’ room to go to the garage.

—————

in your opinion, the date was beyond amazing, but you hadn’t expected to be walking around a little park after. now that you’d been walking for so long, your feet were beginning to ache, making it hard to keep pace with matt.

“ow.. fuck” you mumbled, wincing as you stepped forward, trying to catch up to matt. matt, ever the attentive boyfriend, heard you and immediately stopped and turned around to you. he caught the wince on your face before you could hide it, causing his concern to grow.

“whats wrong? are you hurt?” he asked, taking a step to where you were standing and ushering you towards a bench a couple feet away. you immediately sat down and took off your heels, sighing in relief as the ache faded slightly. matt also began taking off his shoes, refusing to let you walk around in heels that hurt you or barefoot.

you werent paying matt any attention until he slipped his shoes on your feet, tightening the laces so they didn’t slide too much.

“matt-” you began, getting cut off before you could even finish saying his name.

“no, it’s ok. i dont want you to walk around in heels that hurt you, or barefoot, you could step on something sharp.” he said, finishing tying the laces and pressing a kiss to your parted lips.

“now c’mon, we can go back to the car” he said, taking your heels from your hands and helping you stand.

your smile stayed on the rest of the night, even as matt helped you into the car, even as he carried you upstairs after you (dramatically) claimed you were too tired to walk, even as he helped you out of your dress and into comfy clothes, even as he took off your makeup and jewelry, and especially as he held you as you drifted off to sleep.

[mikewheeleranti]

hogwarts legacy characters as tropes

includes: sebastian sallow, ominis gaunt, garreth weasley, amit thakkar

a/n: to the sebastian sallow stans, i'm gonna SPARE you. in this, anne is fine and he doesn't get into the dark arts.

sebastian sallow:

found family/friends to lovers

when you came to hogwarts, you came lonely. when you looked around after getting sorted into your house, everyone was sitting with somebody they knew, chatting away. planning to walk out, you're stopped short when a girl with short brown hair leaves her table to comes up to you. "hi, i'm anne! i couldn't help but notice you didn't have somewhere to sit, come by me and my brother, if you want to."

oh pls after that it was history, anne wasn't letting you go

ever since that dinner with anne and her twin, sebastian, in first year you were done for. sebastian's freckles and the way he blushed lightly in embarrassment when his sister would tease him for something made you swoon. ominis and anne taunted you about this endlessly, making you hide your face every time without fail.

anne definitely set you two up

anne told you many times that he did, in fact, like you back but it was hard to believe. he treated you like a normal friend, and those times you caught him staring at you he was just zoning out. so, pushing your feelings aside, you got ready to go to hogsmeade with anne, ominis, and sebastian. it took you and sebastian 15 minutes at honeydukes to realize the other 2 weren't coming. at the end of the day, you had confessed after you spilled butterbeer on his white shirt. "shit, im sorry! merlin, this is embarrassing. spilling a drink on the guy you like.." yea if u think you've seen him red you hadn't until that day.

you alr know those friendsgivings HIT

thanksgiving at hogwarts always made you a bit homesick, that feeling didn't come in 7th year with your "family." coming back to the slytherin common room after dinner, you stayed up all night talking with sebastian, who coincidentally got plastered with anne that night. " 'm gonna marry you one day" as he rested his head on your chest and dozed off, leaving your heart racing.

ominis gaunt:

forbidden romance

ominis' family would not approve of you, that is something he knew for a fact. his family was cold, distant, and in his eyes, evil. when he was younger, he would fantasize about escaping with his aunt, noctua gaunt, and moving somewhere far way. that wasn't possible anymore, but he still had you. you were his safe space, his place of hiding, and you meant everything to him. which is exactly why he had to hide you from anyone who could report your relationship to his family. many people warned you about being so close with a gaunt, but you both knew better.

many late nights sneaking around the castle and secret touches

you and ominis were once again sneaking around the castle, desperately trying to avoid peeves. his wand was leading both of you in the direction of the undercroft, linked arm in arm. when you two had gotten to the spot you made years ago, you would spend hours basking in each others presence. in the late hours of the night, ominis would make up for his lack of vision through sight and memorize everything about you. gentle touches along your face, kisses along your cheeks, forehead, eyelids, even. this man wants nothing more than to absolutely worship you, he thinks of you as his saving grace.

expect fear of his family

to put it lightly, ominis is terrified at the idea of his family ever finding you. he will do anything in his power to protect you. when the new fifth year tells him they need his help with sebastian, you are not coming, and that's final. he doesn't know what dangers may lie there. going back to the undercroft, he promises you many things, promises he will hold to his heart forever. "i will always protect you, my love" with a kiss as light as a feather below your ear. "you are so perfect" with your foreheads leaned against each other, and his hand rubbing your back.

garreth weasley:

good girl x bad boy (even if you aren't a girl)

you were never one to break rules in any way, always trying to keep up with your academics. you weren't at the top of your class, but you were up there and you had good relationships with your professors. which is why it was a little surprising that garreth weasley, the schools infamous "troublemaker" was talking to you right now. it was almost more surprising he knew your name. "y/n, help me out. please." "weasley, i am not stealing a dumb feather for you, please go back to making your wiggenweld potion."

lowkey cringed having to write troublemaker

also a bit of enemies to lovers

you were already annoyed enough that day, and the last thing you needed was weasley dragging you into his antics. though, fate was not on your side when you were walking out of the library and got dragged into a row of bookcases. "what the hell? let go of-" you were quickly cut off when garreth wrapped his hand around your mouth and kept you against a bookcase until you heard an angry professor sharp storm past. now whispering, you ask "what the hell is wrong with you?" just for him to cup the side of your face and kiss your cheek before smirking and walking away. "thank you, darling!"

it's definitely unexpected when you start dating, but not unwelcome.

his rebellious nature started to grow on you, not that you would do some of the stuff that he does around the castle. truth be told, he does find it adorable when you come up to him and proudly told him you skipped one class period. your professors and classmates alike are definitely shocked when they see you two laughing quietly together in the back of the class, but you convince him to study more and the improvement in his grades does not go unnoticed by your professors.

loves embarrassing you in public

he would never push your limits too far, but he loves teasing you in public whenever he can. he was always convinced he wouldn't be into pda, but then he met you. how could he resist from it if you were going to squirm away like that? if you told him you were uncomfortable with this he wouldn't, of course. but if you let him he would have the time of his life very obviously pulling you into an empty room when you were on your way to class.

amit thakkar:

academic rivals

amit frustrated you. you were at the top of your class for a while now, until he got out of second place and replaced you. this grabbed your attention on him, constantly glaring at him in class and in the hallways, which made you fall behind more. what was even more infuriating is that he didn't do anything more than give you a small smile in class. in fact, he admired you and your wit, and your dedication to staying at the number one spot drew him into you.

since he's the sweet man he is, he'd probably lead to your friendship

after you finally got your spot back, you didn't stop studying. there was no way anyone was going to take your spot again. astronomy was almost over, and the rest of the class was given to spend freely while professor shah handed back the most recent test. "good job, y/n." smirking, you looked at the red 98 on the parchment, turning over to amit to ask what he got. "95, what about you?" your smile could have lit the sky in replacement to the stars, he thinks. "98, maybe i should tutor you sometime." when you walk out of the room, he puts the parchment in his bag, glancing at the bold "100" on it.

people were definitely confused when you went from glaring at him to holding his hand

you were joking when you said you would tutor him, but he held your word to it. it was the week before exams and he actually had to help you grasp the fact that aries is not just a straight line. you could've gotten this long ago, but you noticed yourself becoming entranced with him. how was he so patient with you, and so kind? when you finally got the idea, you went into the exam ready. when you got one point higher than him on the exam, he congratulated you with a tight hug, and when you separated, you weren't very separated. leaning in, before your lips connected you said one last thing to him before summer. "don't think i'll go easy on you next year, you better write to me."

[reiluvr]

Suguru's Morning Routine

hello! this is a new account, just cause i wanted to start somewhere new! requests are open and im still working on everything so...

i'll eventually make a masterlist, once i've posted at least 5 works or so.

this is pretty much 100% fluff even though i'm a hardcore angst girl. just starting off easy. uhhh there's suggestive words but no smut.

just suguru being head over heels for you and toru <3

It's the way Suguru has his alarms set for at least half an hour before the other two ring. He's so used to this routine that he doesn't even really need the alarm, his eyes already open and hands reaching for his phone to turn the alarm off in case it wakes you two up. He turns his body, a smile subconsciously falling onto his face as he observes the mess of your hair. He gently brushes a few strands away from your mouth, fingers tracing your features as he grins.

Once his ten minutes of admiring you are up, his body shifts, neck craning to admire Satoru on your other end. His heart flutters as he watches the constant rise and fall of Satoru's chest, finding solace in watching the "honored one" look so mundane. His smile only widens further as his eyes trail down to observe how your legs entangle with Satoru's, Suguru being the only somewhat normal sleeper. In the quiet of the room, a small giggle escapes him as he thinks back to the beginning of the relationship, how hard it had been to get a good amount of sleep between Satoru's limbs stretching across the entire bed and you're constant mumbling. Now it's only one of his countless favorite things about his two partners.

He alternates between both of you, waiting until the sun has fully risen to quietly get out of bed, humming a soft tune as he turns on the coffee maker, already pulling out countless items from the refrigerator. It was honestly a blessing that Satoru was loaded, because not only did he eat for a family of ten, all three people in the house had very different tastes, leading to grocery weekends being quite hectic. He places three cups on the counter, practically adding only a few drops off coffee to the first one as he drowns it in creamer and sugar cubes. He moves to the second, not even trying to fight the smile as he notices the small paw prints on the side of the mug. He had gotten accustomed to finding cat themed items all around the house once you had moved in. It had been a nightmare listening to Satoru whine constantly about how "those stupid cats mean more than we do, right?" He adds two sugar cubes to the cat themed cup, pouring the coffee and topping it off with whatever nut based milk they had bought that week. By the time he turns to the last cup, Satoru's poptarts have popped out the toaster, so he quickly places them on a plate while he heats up a pan to prepare his own eggs. He quickly pours coffee in his own cup, not bothering with sugar or cream as he takes a few sips, mixing granola into some strawberry yogurt. By the time breakfast is ready, he can already hear Satoru's soft whines from the bedroom, the man already having found something to complain about. He places the poptarts on one end of the desk, placing the granola in the middle, and the eggs on the other end. No one spoke about it, but everyone knew they had an assigned seat.

He takes his coffee with him, leaning against the door frame of their bedroom as he watches. Satoru seems to be clawing at the bedsheets, one hand digging into the bed as the other is wrapped tightly around the bedframe. You stand there, hair a mess and clothes all ruffled, clearly just having gotten up, with one of Satoru's ankle in you hands, desperately trying to pull him out of bed. Suguru rolls his eyes, you'd think after years of living together, they'd be over this dramatic scene every morning. He sighs, placing his cup on the dresser as he shuffles behind you, hands wrapping around your waist as you drop Satoru's leg in surprise.

"For once, could you two just wake up normally?"

He has to suppress his smile as he hears your own frustrated complaints, already talking his ear off first thing in the morning.

"I woke up and he was literally laying on me! So I push him off and he start whining and crying, you know how he is, he's all like "you don't love me" and "I'll just go die, I guess". And then! Suguru, you're not gonna believe this, actually, you will, cause Satoru still acts like he's 16. He pulls me back with him as he's like, "Hey ma". MA? WHY IS HE TRYING TO HAVE SEX FIRST THING IN THE MORNING??-"

Suguru does the only thing that he knows will shut you up, pressing his lips against your own as he silences you, Satoru cackling in the back as you push Suguru away, already on another rant about how you're living with two men who are horny 24/7. Of course, you're just kidding, already back in Suguru's hold a few minutes later, both of you just swaying in place while waiting for Satoru to finish washing his face. (He has a 24 step skin care routine.)

The three of you finally settle into your places, both you and Satoru digging into the prepared breakfast in front of you. Suguru sighs happily, watching as a bit of yogurt sticks to your nose, Satoru pointing it out. He watches as Satoru throws his head back in laughter as you try to wipe it off, only smudging it more. He holds back to urge to tell Satoru not to speak with his mouth full. He watches as you rub your nose red, somehow still missing the smudge. He watches as Satoru finally reaches over, using the edge of his sweater's sleeve, it's Suguru's sweater but he's already accepted he's never getting it back, to gently rub your face, getting rid of the mark. By the time he takes a bite of his own eggs, they're cold. He just smiles and continues eating, a cold breakfast being a small price to pay for enjoying his morning with his favorite people.

[tiffsturniolo]

K.

m.s oneshot

a/n: i wrote this is ten minutes cause i havent wrote in ages! i love this song and i think this is kinda my interpretation of it

warnings: MATTS POV, use of y/n, simple sex, fwb ish, unprotected sex (just assume your on the pill), super short cause the songs short ✌️

⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚🖤 ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚🍽️ ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚🖤 ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚🍽️ ⋆.˚𖦹⋆✮⋆.˚

“fuck fuck fuck fuck! matt dont stop” you scream out as i pound into you from behind.

i groan at your whines and goes faster “i wasn’t planning on it” i mumble

right. how did i get here?

it started off as a simple, normal day; hanging out with my best friend y/n. we were both horny. lets just say that and one thing lead to another.. blah blah blah, we fucked. no strings attached of course, it was just two pals helping each other out. thats what friends are for right? except im madly in love with her.

i grip my hands around your waist, not too hard, and throw my head back in pleasure. everything’s perfect. im having sex with the most beautiful, heavenly, girl of my dreams. i really hope this isn’t a dream. if so, i never wanna wake up.

your walls squeeze around my cock, finishing with a loud moan

your sensual moan was enough to make me finish inside you.

i gently pull out of you as if scared to break you and flop down next to you. we both take a moment to catch our breath and let our minds process what just happened

after several minutes of deafening silence, i can see you inspecting me out of my peripheral vision. your eyes are glued onto my face, a slight smile on your face.

i suddenly become very aware of what i look like, wiping the beads of sweats off my forehead and attempting to fix my hair.

that look on your face wasn’t a very subtle one. the way your ocean blue eyes were staring intently into mine and that your lips were glued up in a smirk. you liked me back.

you exhale, shaking your head like you were ashamed of yourself. “dinner then?” you say sitting up and getting out of my bed and retrieving your clothes that had previously been thrown across my floor

i had almost completely forgot we had plans for dinner this evening. i just nod, grabbing my clothes and walking into the bathroom.

we have just finished eating and are waiting for the cheque. the whole time we were eating, we didn’t speak much. i convinced myself maybe its cause we’re eating y’know? dont wanna eat with our mouths open. but even when i tried to start a conversation you would just reply with a “mhm” or nod.

we pay and exit the restaurant. i start walking to my car but turn around to notice your not following me

“i think im gonna walk home” you say, pointing the opposite way

i stare at you blankly for a second. i dont wanna be rude and make you walk home all by yourself but, the car ride would be pretty awkward anyway “oh- yeah, yeah thats fine” i nod

you walk towards me, a look on your face which i cant really read, but hopefully a good one cause of the smile on your face

“that was really fun” you smile, pulling me into a tight hug

im shocked for a second but waste no time in reciprocating the hug, taking a whiff of your sweet hair

“goodbye”

little did i know that would be our last goodbye

y/n

2 months ago

wanna come round mine tomorrow?

chris and nick found a really good movie they wanna watch with you

6 weeks ago

you okay y/n?

4 weeks ago

im sorry if i made things awkward

we can just pretend nothing happened i swear

we can go back to normal i dont care

2 weeks ago

y/n come on

please we all miss you

i miss you

come back

i miss her. too much.

nothings the same without her, her laugh, her smile, her presence, her touch.

everyday i think about how she felt inside me but with each day that goes by, i slowly forget.

chris and nick have been trying to get in touch with her, no luck. they still remain oblivious of why shes cut us off and the guilt eats me alive.

she didn’t have to leave. if she found it awkward, we could just pretend it didn’t happen. if she likes me back, god little does she know im obsessed with her. everything’s ruined now, our friendship, our chances of getting together, my life.

y/n come right back

[collapsedglasshouses]

HEAVEN KNOWS I AIN'T GETTING OVER YOU || Joakim Karlsson x fem!Reader

picture found on pinterest

PAIRING: ex-husband!Jolly x fem!reader

SUMMARY: When Jolly visits you unannounced on a Tuesday night, you have no idea what it leads to.

WARNINGS: SMUT [oral sex, female receiving; unprotected p in v], possessive!jolly, ANGST, jolly and reader have a daughter together (y/d/n), MDNI, 18+

TAGLIST: @measuredingold @cncohshit @circle-with-me @jilliemiw86 @justeli6 (If you wanna be added to my taglist in general, leave a comment or message me privately!)

A/N: i wrote this in one sitting and i'm so proud of it that i can't hide it for one second longer. i hope you like it! also this isn't proofread, im very sorry ._.

MASTERLIST

[y/d/n = your daughter’s name]

You thought the hardest thing you had ever done in your entire life was the process of deciding to file for divorce from your ex-husband Jolly, but he had proven you wrong. It was that he had signed the papers without an argument or fight. He had just done it.

It had stung, how he came back from a long tour, saw the papers laying on the kitchen counter and just signed them. It hurt but you also knew it was for the best. That he didn’t fight with you was hard, but it also made it in some ironic way easier.

Since you had a daughter together, he came over only on the weekends when he was home from touring and normally, he’d only pick up your daughter and leave again; not really much conversation going on between you except the necessary small talk. He was a good father and human after all, and you were glad for that.

After some time, routine came back and somewhat everything began to feel normal again. You began to date again, and Jolly seemed to live his life to the fullest. You were happy for him.

That changed when your doorbell rang on a Tuesday evening. You were sitting on the couch watching TV when you heard the sound and for the first couple of seconds you thought about not opening the door. After all, it was almost 8 PM and you were kind of scared there would be someone trying to break in or hurt you, but when it rang again you became curious.

“Joakim?” You asked surprised when you saw him standing there.

“Is it true?” He just asked and looked you dead in the eye.

“What?” You answered him confused. He looked like he hadn’t slept properly since he brought back your daughter two days ago.

“On the weekend, y/d/n said you were seeing someone.” He asked, his tone careful, yet you could sense some sort of hurt in his voice.

“Do you maybe wanna come in before you confront me about stuff that hasn’t got anything to do with you?” You grumbled at him in a sarcastic tone, which he ignored while stepping into the place you once called home together.

He walked into the living room, followed by you. There he crossed his arms in front of your chest and looked at you, disappointed.

“What do you want to here, Joakim? I don’t remember that we agreed to be abstinent for the rest of our lives.” You snarled at him and mirrored is gesture.

“Don’t you think it still hurts that I hear that from our daughter instead of you?” He responded in the same tone.

“I don’t know why you suddenly seemed to care.” You grumbled. “Since you didn’t show any interest in me for… how long is it now? One and a half years?”

“You didn’t even let me explain myself and threw the divorce papers at me. How do you think I feel?” He angrily expressed.

“I don’t even need to tell you this, but there is no other guy. I went on two dates. TWO dates, Jolly.” You answered him while ignoring how his statement stung. You knew it had been egoistic of you, but the months before the divorce, he either wasn’t at home or when he was, he didn’t even look at you. You felt unimportant, unloved, neglected. And now he was throwing around these statements. You wished he had done it earlier. You wished he would have opened up to you. The fact that he only did it because he saw the potential danger of another person in your life, hurt you so much.

Jolly took a deep breath. “I feel like we never even talked about this whole separation.”

“You were the one who didn’t ask when I handed you the papers, Joakim.” You said, your tone a lot calmer than it had been before but you still were angry. You were glad that your daughter was having a sleepover at a friend's house that night, otherwise she would have already been downstairs.

When Jolly didn’t say anything for another solid minute, you sighed.

“Don’t you think it is a bit too late to talk now?” You mumbled defeated and ran a hand through your hair. “I hope you know that I didn’t do that to hurt you. We both know it would have ended way uglier if we dragged it out longer than it already had been.”

You saw how Jolly swallowed hard.

“You know I still love you?” He almost whispered and let his hands fall to his sides. When you looked at him like that, he almost looked broken… defeated. For the first time since what felt like ages, you felt like he let his guard down. Like he wasn’t trying to hide his feelings away.

“I know, Jolly.” You answered him. “And I also know that a part of me still loves you and always will, but we both know that this isn’t going to work. At least not like this.”

He slowly took a step towards you, carefully watching your reaction. When you didn’t look reluctant or took a step back, he reached for your hand and grabbed it.

“I am so sorry that all of this happened. I thought about everything that had happened. Long before the divorce. I know how cruel I was to leave you in the dark. To not talk to you when I needed nothing but your comfort. I thought that I would get through everything by myself.” He told you with honesty in his voice.

“You didn’t have to go through everything alone. That is what a marriage is for, Jolly. I would have been more than happy to help you. I still am if you need me.” You whispered out and looked into the eyes of the man you had and still loved so dearly, and you felt how your heart hurt.

“I always need you, y/n. I need you so bad.” Jolly responded and you saw how his eyes became glossy. Without even thinking you wrapped your arms around his torso and hugged him tightly. You felt how tears started to form in your eyes and it broke your heart when you heard him sniffle for a second.

When you leaned back to look at him, there was this foolish hope in your heart. The hope that you would be able to find back to each other. But your brain knew, even if you did eventually manage to do that, now was not the right time for it.

“Can I kiss you?” Jolly asked and you felt warmth form in your stomach. You knew you should have said no. You knew you should have been strong, but you still nodded.

Your lips met with a ferocity born from years of unspoken words and yearning. The taste of his mouth a bittersweet reminder of everything you had lost.

It felt like you kissed for an eternity and still, when you pulled away, it felt like it wasn’t long enough. You missed him. You missed everything about him, from his small jokes to the way it felt when you fell asleep next to him. He was what made this house a home.

“We shouldn’t.” You whispered against his lips, and he nodded. Before he could even think about letting you go, you pressed your lips against his for a second kiss. This one being much more eager than the previous one.

Slowly but surely, you stumbled towards the couch and soon you were laying under him, lips still connected as if life depended on it. His tongue slipped into your mouth, and you couldn’t help but sigh into the kiss.

It didn’t take long until his fingers curled into the waistband of your shorts and panties. For a second, he leaned back to look for consent in your eyes. When you eagerly nodded, he tugged them down your legs.

He kissed you deeply before lowering himself down your body. You shivered when you felt his breath against your core and not even a second later you felt his warm tongue sliding through your folds. He drew skillful circles around your clit. A wave of warmth washed over you as you moaned out his name and it felt so wrong and so right at the same time. You had missed him so much.

Your hand reached for his and he was quick to intertwine your fingers. Your nails pressed into the skin on his hand as your back arched in pleasure.

“Tell me you’re mine.” He pleaded as he raised his head for a second to look at you through his lashed and you felt like you could come on the spot.

“I’m yours, Joakim. I always will be.” You whimpered out and it was all he needed to hear as his head lowered again.

It didn’t take long for you to feel the waves of your orgasm washing over you, as you screamed out his name. Your vision blurred for a second as you came on his tongue. He kissed the inside of your thighs until you slowly came down from your high, before he came up to look at you again.

You grabbed his face and kissed him with such force, he feared to collapsed right on the spot. You could taste yourself on his tongue and the feeling of the fabric of his jeans against your naked cunt made you shiver in overstimulation.

In a swift motion, he turned you on your stomach and you heard how he unzipped his pants. The next thing you felt was hot kisses pressed to the back of your neck and you sighed in need. You needed to feel him, even if it was the last time.

“Do you have a condom?” He groaned into your ear.

“You don’t need one, Joakim. I’m clean and on the pill.” – “Got it.”

You clenched your fists into the fabric of the couch as you felt him enter you. A delicate burn formed inside of you as he stretched your walls. He was gentle but still you let out a small yelp as he bottomed out in one stroke. The small groan that escaped from Jolly’s lips, let you clench around him for a moment.

“God.” He moaned. “I wish I could stay inside of you forever.”

You moaned as a response.

“I’ll make you mine, even if it’s the last time.” He groaned as he slung an arm around your torso, making you slightly sit on him as he thrusted into you.

“I’ll be yours.” You whimpered and reached behind you to grab onto his hair. You moved in a rhythm as you felt the knot tighten in your stomach for a second time. One of Jolly’s hands travelled between your thighs and began to rub small circles on your wet clit.

“God, Jolly. I’m gonna come.” You almost screamed out.

“I’ve got you.” He breathed out as you felt the intense sensation of your second orgasm rolling over you. You felt how your body slowly lost strength, but you held yourself together for him.

You fell forward, leaning on your elbows as his hands grabbed your hips. Shortly after that you felt how he was twitching inside of you and he let out a loud groan as he finished inside of you, his cum filling you up until it began to drip. He grabbed the armrest of the couch in front of you to not let his weight drop on you as he mumbled out small love confessions.

For a couple of moments, neither of you dared to move. He peppered your shoulder with small kisses while you both tried to tame your breaths. Even though, you both didn’t want to, he eventually pulled out of you and got up, as you slowly laid down on your back.

After a minute or so he reappeared with a washcloth and gently cleaned you up, before helping you up from the couch and to the bathroom to go to the toilet.

After you finished and came back to the living room, he handed you your clothes and you both got fully dressed again, before looking at each other in awkward silence.

You knew what he was going to say, before he could even finish.

“Maybe, I should-…” – “Stay.”

He blinked a couple of times as his eyes lit up.

“Y/d/n isn’t coming back until tomorrow after school. You can stay.” You almost whispered and hoped he wouldn’t leave you in that state. “I want you to stay.”

“Okay.” He muttered and nodded slightly. “I will.”

As the two of you sat down on the couch, a wave of guilt washed over you. This was a forbidden taste of the past that only solidified the painful truth. You were bound by a love that could never be, at least not now…

dividers by @saradika-graphics

[centralperkspoison]

I Can See You - G. Way

PAIRING: Gerard Way x Fem!Reader

WARNINGS: sexual references, a little fluffy.

SUMMARY: You and Gerard have known each other for years. When you finally confess to him, everything works out! But how do you keep it as a secret? (Based loosely on I Can See You by Taylor Swift)

WORD COUNT: 1.3k

OTHERS: me posting? whattttt?! this was highly inspired by the song I Can See You by Taylor Swift, so I recommend listening to that while you read. Also, I haven't posted a fic in like a year this is crazy. also!!! not my usual work, not that much fluff just more back story. idk i have wrote in a while so im sorry!

---

YOU KEPT EVERYTHING PROFESSIONAL. You and him only showed your true emotions behind closed doors. You'd brush past each other in the hallways most of the time ensuring to not let anyone catch on.

Of course, you and Gerard were friends to the public eye. You and him were the two lead singers of My Chemical Romance, but what happened behind closed doors stayed there.

You'd moved next door to the Way family when you were fairly young, quickly becoming friends with the two brothers despite the slight age differences; Mikey was three years older than you and Gerard was six years older, which is why in the beginning everything had to be quiet. But of course, you had kept your feelings for the nerdy older brother hidden since you were six, so that wouldn't be too hard.

When the band began recording for Bullets you had just turned eighteen and Gerard was almost twenty-five, which is when it first started.

-

"Why don't I understand basic song structure," You groaned. "You clearly have it down."

Gerard scoffed, "I do not have it down whatsoever, I just actually ask for input unlike someone who's stubborn as hell." He laughed. 

It was only the two of you on the bus, the rest of the guys were inside a restaurant buying breakfast while before you traveled four hours to only record half the album for Bullets.

"Here, bring it over so I can look at it." He said, sitting up on the couch on the bus. You slowly walked towards him, hoping he wouldn't realize who it was about. You silently hoped he couldn't tell, then sat next to him and handed him the lyrics you had written so far. He began analyzing them and handed them back to you.

"It's good, but the bridge should have more meaning. You've described this person in such a beautiful light, then the bridge is just happily ever after? Include some of the struggle in the relationship." You nod, beginning to write. He watches you closely from over your shoulder causing you to face the other way and lay down on him so he could get a better view. This was nothing unusual for you two, it was normal for you to lay on him or anyone else in the band.

You took his words into consideration, then started writing lyrics along the lines of 'If only he knew,' and 'I could see you being my addiction, you could see me as a secret mission.' along with some more context.

"Hey, (Y/N)?" He called, you could feel his heart speed up from your spot on his chest. "Yes, Gee?" You say, looking up at him. "Who is this about?" He asked quietly, playing with your long hair. You dropped your pencil and sat up, facing him. "Is that really important right now?" "I mean not really, I'm just a bit curious." He says with a slight smirk across his face. You just shrug and walk to where you were sitting previously to the whole song structure conversation. Once you sit down, he began speaking again.

"I mean of course the description sounds a little similar, short black hair, hazel eyes, crooked smile," He says, walking behind your chair and gripping it and looking down at you from over the back of the tall chair. "I would say Frank, but his hair doesn't exactly fall under that category anymore, and when you think about it, I'm the only one with short black hair now." He smirks. He already knew, but he was just trying to play around and have a little fun before he had to make his own scary confession.

"God, okay Gerard, the song is about you." You roll your eyes trying to make it come out as if you're not afraid to say it. "Wait, you're actually admitting it?" "Yes, I have a big fat crush on you, now can you please just turn me down already so I can get over it sooner." You sigh, and he walks around your chair so you two are facing each other now. 

"(Y/N), I'm not rejecting you," He smiles. "C'mere." He says, opening his arms for a hug, and you quickly throw yourself in his arms. You two linger in the hug for a while before you take a step back and look up at him. You two were so close your noses were touching. 

"May I?" He asks, moving his hand up so he's cupping your jaw. You lean into his touch and nod.

-

After you two established your feelings, your situationship turned into a relationship that ranged from sweet moments to insanely sexual ones, not that you had a problem with that, of course. It was just difficult keeping it from your best friends.

Eventually, fans began sniffing the two of you out. How you would always sit next to each other in interviews, when you were on stage you would always seem as if you were singing to him and he was singing to you, when they watched Life On The Murder Scene every time there was a video on the bus you'd have your legs sprawled out on top of his or you'd be laying on him, and even away from the bus he'd always send you looks.

You started seeing the fans reactions on Twitter in the two of your comment sections.

(Y/N)(Y/L/N): Day off with my boys! &lt;3

mcrlover616: OMG R U AND GERARD DATING

frerard4li4e: Gerard belongs to Frank, girl. Back off.

bugmomma24356: You and Gerard are so cute ug! &lt;3

After trying to cover up everything to the best of your abilities, nothing made them believe you, even your own band mates started thinking the two of you were together, so you two had to act more distant. 

No more laying on him, no more lingering hugs, and definitely no more making out on stage just to "make the crowd go wild". 

-

The two of you had to be entirely secret for almost a year now, and it was the first night of your new tour, Rise Against the Black Parade. 

Gerard brushes his shoulder against yours in the hallway while you two walk into the dressing room, shooting you a look. "Oh sorry, (Y/N)." He says quietly and slides his arm across your back before sitting two seats away from you in the dressing room. 

Makeup took a while, but you and Gerard were the last to finish. Once your artists left the room he sprung up to lock the door, and quickly met you in the middle of the room. 

He rested his hands on your hips and you hand your arms on the back of his neck, while he pressed his lips to yours aggressively. You parted from him for a moment, "Now don't go messing up our makeup," You smirked. "We can fix it ourselves." He grunts, picking you up and placing you on the counter.

The two of you were in there for a total of five minutes before someone started knocking on the dressing room door, causing you to jump like two teenagers caught by parents. "Hello? Who's in there, we need to change!" You hear Frank say from the other side of the door. The two of you quickly check your makeup to make sure it wasn't messed up, then you walked to the door to unlock it before turning to Gerard.

"You know, if stopped hiding... it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world." You said and he began to shake his head. "The age difference, (Y/N)." "It's six years, Gee. At least it's not like twenty or thirty like some other couples." You say, causing him to shrug. "I guess it's not the worst thing in the world." 

You walk over and unlock the door allowing Frank to come in with the costume cart. Once he realized it was the two of you he gasped. "You?" He said pointing to Gerard, "And you?" He said pointing to you. You turn to Gerard and tilt your head. "Yeah yeah, big deal." He said walking over to wrap an arm around your waist.  That night was one of your best shows yet. You two started showing affection on stage once again, you put your emotion back into your lyrics, and you even got a chance to preform the song you wrote for Gerard that started the whole relationship.

[camryntheking]

Ok! My thoughts on 7x05!

First, i just wanna say that the whole Hen and Karen storyline is awesome! I love that the show is giving queer people so much screen time, especially a Black lesbian couple! And i think its super sweet that they really want to try for Mara! I hope it works out!

Next, i think that has been my favorite cold open so far. The “ITS MEEE” gets me every time (i have already watched it loads of times). I dont have much to comment on it other than it was funny as fuck

Ok. The date scene. I was hoping to see more of Eddie watching them (especially after the stills), but oh well. The second-hand embarrassment i got was… a lot. But i dont think its necessarily a bad thing. It showed how out of his comfort zone Buck was and how he was trying to navigate a terrifying situation. And Tommy? I might have to retract my earlier retraction. Cos wtf?? Literally had just finished talking about how its hard to accept yourself in a “macho” field, then makes a dig at Buck when he fumbles? Not cool. Then not communicating what was happening until he was getting in the Uber? You dont just abandon someone at a restaurant like that. I understand the “you’re not ready” thing, but that was a dick move.

Also, Buck, baby. Sweetheart. Darling. “I look at hot guys’ asses.” Sweetie. Like Maddie said. You are more than an ally lmao. I also just love how Maddie showed interest in getting to know who Buck was talking about and treating the convo after like a normal convo. Because it is! And i love it! But she also emphasized talking to Eddie, because she knew that Eddie would not react poorly. I feel like that just shows how everyone knows how close Buck and Eddie are. TLDR, Maddie is an awesome sister and Buck is lucky to have her ❤️

Next point, the scene where Buck and Tommy talk over coffee. I do think that the hand holding at the end is very sweet and shows how Buck is really trying to be more open, but Tommy is just really starting to rub me the wrong way. Pretty much everything he said contradicts what happened in the date scene. I feel like him being at the wedding is really gonna spark some Jealous Eddie, tho, so i am excited to see that lmao

And Eddie and Marisol? I feel like the show is going in a direction that leads them to breaking up. Like yes, it is showing growth for Eddie and allowed him to acknowledge that he has Catholic guilt, but theres just. No chemistry. It feels awkward. I feel like her being an ex-nun is gonna bring up some issues with Buck and Eddie will not stand for that. I also wanted to point out that i got even more vibes that Eddie could be demisexual, cos he didnt straight up say that he loved Shannon, just that he loved being married to her. And he knows that he is moving too fast and needs to step back a bit

Finally, Buck coming out to Eddie. I do find it funny that Eddie seemed more shocked that Tommy wasnt straight than figuring out Buck isnt straight. But its awesome that Eddie showed interest and genuinely wanted to help Buck through the issue. And the hug? Finally! Give me men not being afraid to hug each other! I feel like this is allowing Buck and Eddie to become even closer (i do hope for Buddie eventually)

Overall, i feel like this episode was great for setting up the development of Buck and Eddie’s relationship (whether it ends up being platonic or romantic). And i am all for Buck exploring his sexuality with someone that isnt Eddie. While Tommy isnt my favorite right now, i do think that he is great for the progression of Buck’s story. I do hope to see more of Dad!Bobby in the coming episodes and how Buck’s parents might react to Tommy. I dont wanna wait three weeks for the next episode 😢. Im ready for the chaos of the Madney wedding

If i think of anything else ill add on, but i think thats all i have for now. Feel free to share your thoughts!

[d3ard3ughter]

Alex survives the fight with tim but due to the fact, the severity of the injures (medical special interest at play here) he can no longer speak, Alex internalizes deserving it

Like he can live with the disability it’s not what bothers him even if it takes adjusting its the guilt

Maybe alex gets back the traveling flannel to do communication

Before he starts learning to sign

Tim feels real guilty for it and alex is also drowning in his own guilt and tim is trying ro help

Alex is pushing him away too

They’ll cuddle but alex doesn’t wanna talk

Tim will bring him paper

He’ll sign to him because hes learning too but alex is unresponsive to it for a while

And alexs just kinda in a stupor

Because whats the point of being spared after all hes done even if its for the right thing

Hes not going out of his way ro do anything to himself he doesn’t have tbe energy but he sure as fuck isn’t going out his way ro do what he needs ro as well

Tim sees bit of his younger self in alex tbere i think

It’s passive sucidial ideation and alex won’t stop any situations if they happen

Tims scared with that for a bit too

Because he’s experienced both sides of actively and not actively and he knows alex won’t actively do something but maybe even a simple task will lead to something

Hes just trying to get him to eat too

Do things

He washes his hair for him and stuff

Plus the semi-dating relationship too they have iys so hard ro explain and then alex will cry id they explain

Trying to celebrate alexs birthday

Jess comes by too

And alex has been dreading being face to face with jess and she doesn’t seem mad

Hes just scared how shes gonna look at him and why she’d wanna come by

Tim ans jess make the cake and all

They try talking

Talk about things and jay comes up and jess tries to circle bacj

And alex stops responding + amy finding tbe camera on Alex’s birthday so…No judgment with it either

Basic reminders too

“Sit up in the tub”

“Drink some water”

Tims trying his hardest

It’s never quite defined but they basically are dating despite everything

I’ve thought about that too

Its such a somber time probably

And + jess reminds him of amy and jay

Specifically disregarding all memories in general

They bring presents and all and alex just wants to curl up

Hes not made to do anything but jess’ presence just has him not having it

+her behaving so gently ro him because thats not how jess behaves and he knows its not because od the disability is just because of that fragile mental state Tim knows alex is smart too so he knows alex is liable to just let something happen

So sit up

Hes gotta sit up

Alex calls her on it and jess is also like “im still piecing stuff together and i don’t know if you’re okay with how i normally behave” But also tim knows the thought process

Tims just making sure

He sees the scarring on alexs neck when they’re cuddling too maybe he traces it and such

Alex lets him

Going out the way he make his favorite food and stuff to try and give motivation when he’s trying to get him to eat

Alex makes it a little easier because he feels bad about making tim so much when he doesn’t have to and he shouldn’t and so he doesn’t stay on his leg too long

Maybe jess tries behaving a bit (this is hc they wrre all friends as kids propaganda

normal to see how it goes but she’s treading carefully and alex just asks her why she would even wanna see him Jess also sticking with “we’re all we have left, we stick together. You aren’t just leaving me like that.”

And alex says shw shoukdnt Tim has Alex’s gun for obvious reasons

Alex still has the picture of amy under his pillow

He has a little wall of old pictures

But he refuses to touch any photo books ars film of back then

Also tim probably was the one who went out of his way to get alex ro thw hospital and alex says he should’ve left him because he wouldn’t feel like this

And why him and not jay but he doesn’t say that because he knows itd be hurtful and he doesn’t have to worry abt something slipping because he has to do it to say stuff he thinks its a blessing his mouth cant fuck shit uo anymore

And he knows it’d probably be selfish for jay to live and suffer too and to let tim know he thought that

Alex thinks he should’ve just choked on his blood and laid there

Cold like sarah

Maybe he could’ve not stabbed her stopped it or gotten her help but he let her bleed and he didn’t have to shoot jay he could’ve not

His hands were on amys neck he had control he could’ve not he couldve let go

He couldve kept seth alive

And brian wouldn’t of fallen in succession ro everything And alex wants to cry but it’s all he’s done about this and about everything in his life

But it’s his stress response and he hates it but another fic I have planned

[221bluescarf]

Hello there!

When you have the spoons, could you give me a beginners guide to bipolar and what the differences are between types 1 & 2? Dont worry, Im not holding you to some scientific or doctorate level of information. More like... what are things you wish you knew or understood about the diagnoses sooner?

Hi! Ok I hope it's ok if this will be long...

For context I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder 7 times by different psychiatrists/hospitals, the most recent one changing it to schizoaffective bipolar. What I'll say is my own experience (an experience that is also shared by others I know)

I don't know what I would say as a beginners guide... I guess it's important to start by knowing bipolar isn't being sad sometimes and happy sometimes. Bipolar is a pattern of alternating between 2 mood states: depression and mania (or hypomania) each state encapsulating a host of symptoms.

As far as type 1 vs type 2... The difference between the two lies in the mania. Bipolar 2 has hypomania and Bipolar 1 has mania. Both have depression. the depression in both types can be severe and the severity of the depression does not indicate type 1 or 2.

Hypomania is a less impairing version of mania, but it still has a specific set of symptoms and criteria that make it different from just a "good mood". Both hypomania and mania are abnormal states.

Mania is going to be disruptive, impairs functioning, usually causes damage, and can often lead to hospitalization. It's not uncommon for mania to have psychosis with it.

They can both have increased energy and restlessness, racing thoughts, distractibility, pressured speech, grandiosity, feeling overly energetic despite a couple hours or no sleep, irritability, and aggression.

But the easiest way for me to explain is to re-create the scenario.

Hypomania: Getting 1 hour of sleep and still feeling energized, wanting to be active at all hours. Going on a $300 shopping trip I can't really afford. Feeling like everything is brighter, music is alive, and I'm the best artist. Getting kinda snippy. Cleaning the whole house and volunteering to clean other people's houses.

Mania: zero sleep for 48 or 72 hours at a time, not being able to stop moving, feeling on fire and as if I might explode if I ever stop. Spending thousands a.k.a. my entire savings on odd things like duplicates of the same items. Scratching myself bloody because my skin hurts, crying and laughing at the same time. I start tasks and abandon them as soon as I start, leaving a mess. Music becomes an obsession, the lyrics are speaking to me and telling me to do things. Everyone is mocking me. Anger outbursts, violent at times, including road rage incidents.

Both of these end abruptly and plummet into severe depression.

I don't know what I wish I knew... I guess I wish I knew how hard it would be to manage it. Having to keep everything in my life stable in order to keep myself stable. I thought if I just had the right pill I'd go back to "normal".

I also wish I'd known if you have mania you can't "pump the brakes". I kept trying to trigger hypomania in myself thinking I could accomplish so much. But in reality I would hit mania and accomplish nothing. I just spin my wheels, become a volcano, and everything falls apart. I still fall for it sometimes though.

I hope that's somewhat helpful.

[enid-rhees]

hi ! i was wondering if you could write something for maggie? maybe helping her take care of hershel when she’s busy leading hilltop🫶 im sorry if this is vague i just love your writing</3

hi anon !! don’t apologize and thank you so much :] !! i hope you enjoy !! i wasn’t sure if you wanted reader and Maggie to be in a relationship or not so i hope this is okay!

warnings: none except there’s like one paragraph that mentions Glenn’s death, other than that there are none!

A/N: hope you all enjoy this new story! if you’d like to request, all info is in pinned :) i have another request i am currently working on so that should be done either late tonight or tomorrow ! (Dead City is tomorrow !!!!)

it was busy today. with Maggie officially leading Hilltop, everyone was hard at work doing everything she asked. the community was great though, it was clear everyone preferred Maggie over Gregory.

she was doing an amazing job. you admired her from afar, watching her talk to everyone with a smile on her face.

you never doubted Maggie and her abilities. this was something that was made for her to do. you knew Hilltop was going to be great as long as she was in charge.

when she spotted you, a smile made its way to her face as she walked towards you, Hershel in her arms.

“hey, pretty.” she greeted. “hey,” you smiled back. “would you be able to take Hershel inside for a bit and keep him company? it’s getting busy out here, and i don’t want him in this heat for much longer.”

you took Hershel out of her arms, “of course. just in your office?” she nodded, “yeah. all his toys are in there.”

before you walked off, she stopped you. “thank you for doing this. really. it’s been really amazing having your help around here.” she told you.

you put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly. “you’re doing incredible work around here, Maggie. everything is coming into place. i’m happy to help in any way.”

she pressed a kiss to your head before you took off back into the building. you laid a blanket on the ground and set Hershel down on it.

you got down on the floor with him, picking up a little rattle toy. he giggled when you shook it, reaching for it. you smiled at how his face lit up.

he grabbed onto it, shaking it hard. “you like that toy?” you hummed, you received a noise in response. he then reached both his hands out to you again and whined. “oh, i see. you just wanna be held.”

you picked him up and placed him on your lap as he continued to play with the toy. “definitely got that from your mother.” you joked.

he continued to play with the toys surrounding him as you slowly rocked him side to side. after a while, he began to quietly cry.

you coo’d, “ah, i think it’s time for you to eat, little guy.” on Maggie’s desk sat a bottle. you stood up with him in your arms and grabbed the bottle.

as you brought it down he grabbed onto it and started to eat. you slowly walked around the room while he eat, reading the spines of books on shelves as you passed by them.

after a few minutes, you noticed Hershel had gone silent, you looked down, he was still holding the bottle, but he was now fast asleep.

you chuckled, carefully taking the bottle out of his hands to try not to wake him and setting it back down on the desk. he looked so peaceful in your arms.

Hershel had grown to be comfortable with you, ever since you and Maggie started to see each more often and you offering to stay with her in Hilltop. you were the one who took him anytime Maggie needed a small break.

you weren’t regretful of your decision either. leaving Alexandria might’ve been a huge change, but it was better for both Maggie and Hershel. you wanted everything to be close to perfect for them.

after Glenn’s death, you tried everything to be there for Maggie. driving her back and forth between Alexandria and Hilltop for ultrasound scans and just normal checkups, being the first person she would see in the morning asking if she needed anything.

you sat on the couch, closing your eyes as well as Hershel napped on your chest. before you could fully fall asleep, the door opened. Maggie walked in, making you smile.

she aww’d at the sight, moving to sit next to you. “he wore you out?” she asked with a laugh. “not really. the second he fell asleep i started getting tired too. he has like a special power with that.”

Maggie laughed again, admiring the sight of you two. “thank you again for helping out today.” she said softly. “it’s no problem, really. i’ll always be here to help.”

she planted a kiss to your cheek, laying her head on your shoulder. you looked down at her, “y’know if you want, all three of us could totally take a nap upstairs right now.”

she laughed again, “yeah. that sounds nice.”

[spruzu]

What i love about this specific moment in sonic prime s3 epi4 is that it shows sonic really does know what hes done and is fully aware that half of the things that have happened are HIS fault. In this part he thinks that this is also his fault all because he couldnt run fast enough to save them and this leads to him thinking about everything hes done for all of this to happen.

Then Knucks tries to change his mind, knucks knows full well that sonic has done somethings that caused all of this to happen but he wants sonic to be ok, to be able to fight. But he also wants sonic to believe that just because he couldnt run fast enough doesnt meant that its his fault tails and mangey are 'dead' and thats something he believes himself.

Then sonic goes on to disagree with knucks. He knows that knucks and rebel think that all of this was his fault but he also genuinely thinks that tails and mangey being gone is all his fault, no matter what someone says even if they have a good point. He doesnt see that knucks and rebel believe that tails and mangey is his fault because in the moment all he can think about his everything he's done to get himself and everybody else in this situation.

And then this part he knows that if he had NEVER touched the prism in the first place knucks, rebel, nine and everybody else wouldnt even be alive. He knows it's his fault they had such horrible lives and he's the fault of that and it really does hit him hard. Sonic's normally the kind of guy (well hedgehog) to shrug this kind of stuff of but all of the things that have happened in the past few days for him must have been sitting on top of him like a pile of boulders and must have finally squashed him.

But when Dr. Deep comes in he doesnt even care about the condition Sonic's in. All he wants to do is fight Nine and the reason for that is because he wants what i guess you could call revenge on Nine because it's 'All Sonic's fault'. He wants to fight because of Sonic and he wants Sonic to know that. Pretty much, Dr. Deep isn't a good comforter despite his yoga and blah blah blah. (I had more to say here but i cant put it into words)

AND HERE, IT BREAKS MY HEART. Sonics face SHOWS the realisation of everything hitting him at once. The prism fight in the cave at the start, his first experience with New Yoke and remembering what happened when he was about to touch the shard but then completely pushing it down as he went into Boscage Maze. He goes onto himself and flicks through everything that has happened and fully realises that even if he had help fix the problems, they all started because of HIM. And the three arguing in the back but then Sonic blocking them out also shows that he really is thinking about everything and that it really affects his mood in a negative way.

Then it all comes crashing down on his even more as he tries not to cry and wipes away the tears, not wanting to seem weak and just wanting to show that he's strong. Sonic wants everyone to think that he's this big strong hedgehog and that he doesn't cry or get overwhelmed by the things that happen in his life and this shows that. He cracks but he doesn't want the other to see. As he stands up after wiping away his tears he goes to immediate masking and trying to show that he's 'angry' and has an idea to defeat Nine. The others never saw sonics sadness and breaking so they never know that this really hits him hard but this really does show his character development and how we all actually thought he was this strong character that didn't get affected by anything but he clearly does here and in most of all of season 3.

Also if u read all of this thank you <3 im a rambler and i probably kept repeating myself but i wanted to post all of this because i was re-watching sonic prime and it came across me so yeah. imma stop yapping now :)

[dynamic-k]

hi im back home

after a 12 hour flight

in which my dad threw up

and i have 20 mosquito bites

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Anyways, this has lead me to think:

Do they have planes in Stick City? (That is what the place is called, right?) Do any of the Becker siblings get car sick/plane sick/motion sick???

Wait are there other cities outside of Stick City? And if Stick City is named that because there are Sticks living in it does that mean other cities have other species???

Hold up- IMAGINE A HOLLOWHEAD CITY!!! It could be like- a Swap!AU of Super Sticks!! Like- hollowheads weren't the recessive gene and the Becker's are actually sticks?? EEEK

Also, is Stick City in the Outernet?? And if they have different worlds, would they have planets? Or areas of the web that are connected to each other with portals and stuff that count as different worlds?

Yeah I think you can tell I'm trying to make the Super Sticks and Spark AUs actually fit together.

WORLD-BUILDING IS SO HARD WHYY

i have some more questions but i think i should wait considering you've gone 2 camp or smth like that

It's funny, the moment I get back home you leave yours xd

aoshrflaouhdfpiuhdasfihsa jet lag lol

Have a nice day!!! :D And enjoy your camp!!

-R

ps if anything here is factually wrong and I've been rambling on about nothing actually true its cos i didn't bother to fact check it im lazy

Finally I have some time to answer this before the ask gets moldy-

:D Hi! Missed you! New ask yay!

-

Planes in Stick City? I never once thought about this, so here I am now thinking about it-

See this is why your asks are so helpful!! I get to world build by answering questions I hadn't thought about until right this moment- :3

-

I have decided that motion sickness is a thing that exists! Do with that what thou will. I think the hollowhead Beckers beloveds would be immune to normal motion sickness.

Red was already canonically prone to dizziness and motion sickness, hence the suppressants he'll get ahold of later in the plot when it comes up there's a minor issue with his teleporting armor. :>

[/proud-of-myself-for-casually-spoonfeeding-future-lore-to-everyone]

-

Stick City was just the fanon-wide accepted name for the Outernet city we see from time to time in canon, and when I was starting Arc One, it was the name on my brain so therefore, was used.

I suppose, it does make sense for there to be implications of a Lizard City or something-

I think Stick City is the capital of the Outernet. For the world of Super Sticks, I mean.

(Not for canon, because then that would be a really bad capital to have- You see how shabby everything seems, and how indifferent the sticks are and how small it appears, aside from the mass that is Rocket Corp-?! That's a city, but it ain't no capital-) (...Is this just how I see the canon city? Does- Does anyone else think this too-? ..Is it just me here-)

In SuperSticks, I would absolutely say Stick City is the capital, hence the name that focuses on the species known as sticks that take up 98% of the entire Outernet. And also my SuperSticks version of Stick City is a lot more industrialized and expanded, truly worthy of being considered a capital city. THE CAPITALLLLLL-

And any other neighboring cities of sticks would have different names, like, uh.. Circuit Town and.. maybe, uh... Conduction, by itself as a landmark something.

I want to spend hours of my time coming up with map accurate expansions and hyperspecfic names down to the restaurants of my imaginary Super Sticks Outernet world now-

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There aren't planets, since the Outernet is virtual. There's basically world barriers at the edges, as I mentioned in a previous ask.

Also humans literally cannot travel to the Outernet, since it's virtual. Every stick figure is just tiny pieces of code to a human!

Can't canonically smash the very Human AU: The Spark, with the very code-structured heavy binary related stick figure society of Super Sticks, together. I need to author plot magic a portal and make a skit/non-canonical crossover.

XD

-

Now, portals that can go to different areas of the web? THAT could happen. :3

I think I'm wracking up Arc Three and Arc Four ideas, help-

[My brain works too fast, I literally just received a vague-ish idea of an extremely extensive webwide adventure in 4 to 8 seconds.]

....

HEHE Seconds-

-

:D

Thank you so much for the ask!!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for not telling my friend i don’t like him back?

so i, (f) just transferred to a new school, and the first friends i made were Joshua (m) and Riley (f) (both fake names). i don’t have any classes with either of them, we met outside of the school and i transferred there soon after (not because of them, it’s complicated). anyway, we’re a little close, we walk home together, and we started a DnD campaign as well just the three of us.

Joshua has told us multiple times he has— or used to have, but he’s working on it— a problem where he just represses everything and he’s been doing it most of his life and it makes it hard for him to tell platonic and romantic feelings a lot, plus he’s demisexual (and bi, and i’m bi too, and Riley is a lesbian).

a week or two ago, Joshua texted me and said he doesn’t know if he has a crush on me or he just likes having friends. and he didn’t want anything to be weird, he just needed to get it off his chest, so i said it’s totally fine and i promised not to be awkward about it

this week, during lunch, he came up to me and said something like “i have a crush on you” and then walked away normally. i think he might’ve said Riley encouraged him to say it, but that’s not really important. he didn’t say it to get anything out of it, probably just to clear the air, and it wasnt climactic or confrontational or anything. yesterday he texted me again and said he was going to stop being physically affectionate with me and apologized again and repeated that he really didn’t want anything to be awkward. i’ve been trying to act normal about it, because i don’t like him back (i have a crush on another friend but that’s a whole other AITA), but i ghosted him after that message and said we’re cool the next day when he asked.

here’s where i may be TA. i told my friend (f) about what he told me, and what i should say back, (i didn’t end up texting back because i just told him we were okay) and she said i should tell him i don’t like him back. im pretty sure he’s just telling me to get it all off his chest, and also i think he knows i don’t like him back, plus i worry it’ll make things more awkward if i tell him. but i don’t want to get his hopes up or him to think im leading him on. (also we don’t spend too much time together)

so, AITA for not telling him i don’t like him back?

What are these acronyms?