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#i chose this quote specifically
elllteo · 5 months
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forever thinking about how marcille and laios have such a richly weird and funny friendship dynamic that people I see tend to write off as "god she hates his ass" but in reality it's the frustration of one neurodivergent weirdgirl to another neurodivergent weirdboy who has no concept of masking, has never had to mask, and simply doesn't know how to mask making their entire group come across as "the weirdo freaks" despite her best efforts to not be labelled as "weird" probably her entire life
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laminecuisine · 4 months
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Happy Pride Month 🩷💜💙
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thecrowsart · 6 months
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👁️🦎🎯
(crops under cut)
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#natsume yuujinchou#matoba seiji#natori shuuichi#horrible exorcists#sorry i couldnt think of a caption i literally sat here for like 2 minutes lol#usually i use a quote from the scene or a lyric from a song but in this scene they're just Looking#anyway FUCK architecture#really though this is csp's perspective ruler's fault. i shoulda just done this by hand#but i made it work. since it wasnt super super complicated lol#ummm i feel like natori looks like a baby ceo but that is what he was wearing at least in the anime version of this scene#and midorikawa's kind of vague about clothes so i made it easy on myself#but why are you rolling up to the exorcist meeting in a navy blazer and tan chinos?#his uniform color is tan so ig the pants could be from that but the blazer......#tryna represent the natori clan in front of the other exorcists ig idk#meanwhile matobas just in his gakuran lol#hes not the clan head yet so he can just be there as a kid#he even gets told off by takuma and called seiji-kun.....could you imagine like.#it's weird for him to not be matoba#anyway. um i completely kind of fudged the architecture because its hard to tell where exactly in the building this scene is and#i had a specific composition in mind#i only realized i messed up how the windows work like 3/4 of the way into lineart soooo#but thats the kind of thing only i would notice probably#btw i was originally drawing a different scene of them but i was faced with the reality of foliage.#and i remembered this romeo and juliet ass scene existed so#i chose architecture LOL#okay last thing. i feel like natoris haircut is too polished and nice but fr wtf is his canon hair#im doing my best LOL.........but boy#OKAY im done
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hollowsart · 4 months
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I think Guy would crack sometimes. drop that facade of cocky overconfidence and ego. become a reclusive mess holing himself up in his room or going back to earth to become a hermit for a bit. being unable to really handle all the stuff that's been happening up to that point when it gets to be too much. too much for him or for anyone.
he needs some time away to process and to de-stress himself. No matter how much crap he eats out on the field of battle in space or on earth, he'll always need to take some time off for himself to wallow and recover for awhile.
He'll keep the ring on the dresser across from his bed for a few days.. staring at it as he sits on the edge. eventually grabbing it and shoving it angrily into one of the drawers so he doesn't have to see it anymore.
as the days pass and he slowly starts to recover from whatever it was he experienced.. he'll begin considering the ring again. digging it out. gripping it, but not yet putting it on. Eventually, though, he will. Slipping it on and having his uniform return back to him as he takes a brave breath and heads back out to return to his duties.
During his time off.. he's reminded time and time again who he is. what kind of person he is. Helping some old lady cross the street safely as he chews out a reckless driver in a manner that makes her seem more troubled by him than almost getting hit. Helping out some kids in need, only to be told off by their parents or something for seeming suspicious despite the fact the parents should have been watching them in the first place.
"Bein' a hero's a thankless job, much like livin'.
..but everyone's gotta do it. Even the scum of the earth's gotta live and fight for it. Fightin' tooth an' nail for their lives.
I can't keep sittin' down here.. doin' nothin'.. 'Specially when there's always someone out there that needs the helpin' hand that I never had." -- Guy Gardner
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pauls1967moustache · 1 year
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hey babe! if you’re still doing this can we get a perspective flip for one and one and one is three? x
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I see none of you fell for my clever ruse of not including a real Paul reaction because I didn’t know how to write it…
Yoko slides away, leaving Paul bent beneath John and only John.
Paul finds himself disappointed she’s gone. Without Yoko’s steady weight holding him down, he’s too aware of his body, folded over and aching. Impaled with John inside him, holding Paul’s composure open like a doorstop. Paul can’t get a handle on himself. He feels like if he tries to move he’s going to dissolve into a puddle of mushed, clammy organs. There’s sweat cooling at his temples, and John’s skin feels hot like a branding iron against Paul’s belly. The clashing sensations make him tremble. Lost to the thick of it, Paul has nothing to hold on to but John’s mouth against lips.
He tries to breathe, grasping at John like a life raft, but John floats away from him, and suddenly, Paul is sinking.
Just like that, it’s all so empty. Paul watches John lean over Yoko, grinning wildly as she whines for him, and he feels so far away he may as well be watching from underwater. He feels the weight of an ocean pressing, and pressing, and pressing on his heart, and all he can think is he’ll never reach John again.
He turns away. Stares at the emerald lampshade covering the bulb handing down from John and Yoko’s ceiling. Listens to their ragged moans, and panting breaths, until John grunts—guttural—and oppressive silence falls over them.
John rolls off Yoko, bumping Paul’s shoulder. Paul finds, strangely and distantly, that he can’t really breathe until John’s no longer touching him.
The unexpected stillness of the moment makes Paul feel woozy. Nauseous. There’s not enough air in the room. His heart’s going like it intends to crap out. He’s trapped there in some horrible paroxysm, feeling everything too much to really process it as anything. It’s just sensations. Just claustrophobic discomfort.
He feels a touch, feather-light against his wrist, and he knows at once that something terrible is going to happen if he doesn’t get out, now.
“I should get back, you know. Linda,” he blurts out—his own voice echoing in his ears like it’s coming from somewhere else.
He thinks John might’ve said something to that, but he doesn’t hear it. His mind only able to focus on one thing at a time: stand up, pick up clothes, walk, walk, walk, shut the door. And then he’s standing alone in John and Yoko’s guest bathroom.
He stands there for a moment staring at the tidy, impersonal sink, and the clean toilet, and the small, square window—pitch black behind the obscure glass. Where before he was feeling everything, he feels nothing now. Only base instincts.
Step furthers into space, set the pile of clothes on the floor, pull pants up, zip, (hands are shaking, hands are shaking, hands are shaking). Close the toilet, sit, roll sock right side out again, pull it on.
And it’s only when his foot’s down, and he’s staring at his clothes, lying rumpled on the soft, peach rug on the bathroom floor, that he registers that something deep, deep inside his ribcage hurts.
And then, Paul bursts out crying.
“Fuck,” he hisses to himself, pressing the heels of his hands tight into his eyes, as if he could put a stop to it. As if anyone’s here to see. He’s alone. John didn’t follow him. He knows—though he wasn’t aware that he knew—John’s gone for good. Paul can’t reach him. He’s drifted too far.
He feels the wet slide of tears escape past his hands, tickling down his face, trailing into his beard. He feels ridiculous. His right foot is cold from the still missing sock, and he’s sitting on a toilet lid, and he can’t stop gasping for breath as he weeps, and in his eyes all he sees is them, pressed together, moaning together, kissing—fuck. Fuck!
Paul hears a horrible whimpering sound, and knows it’s coming from himself. He feels mortification curdling in his belly. He’s caught between his own humiliation and the deeper thing; the thing gripping his chest and pushing behind his eyes. He hiccups out desperate breaths, and wipes at his wet cheeks so roughly his skin burns, but it doesn’t make it any less absurd, and it doesn’t stop his heart from wringing it all out of him. He’s left pleading with himself: “Stop. Stop. Fucking stop!”
He doesn’t know what’s wrong with him. It’s not like he didn’t know. He’s well aware that John’s in love with her. He did this because he knew that. Because a little bit of John is better than no John. But christ, he doesn’t think he can fucking do it all again for the rest of this fucking album—sit there and watch John choose her again.
He chokes out another sob, and swallows it down like swallowing razorblades.
He knew this. He knew. He doesn’t need to cry about it, when he already knew.
He folds in on himself, curling into his knees, and feels a dull muscle ache down his back, because this is how John had him earlier, and well. He didn’t know about all that.
He tastes something bitter in the back of his throat, because if he’d known. If John had only—
Well, why did he ask now? Years they’ve been teetering on the edge of something, and if this is something John knew he wanted then why did he never say it, before? Why now, with her, when Paul would’ve—
Well, maybe not would’ve, but he could’ve—
Stop, Paul thinks,because what he does know is he’s on the precipice of something too heavy to bear.
His body goes chasing it without him. He can feel the echoes: John’s gentle touch; the kind, softness in his voice. John had looked at him like—
And maybe Paul didn’t know know, but he knew that he and John—that the way he felt about John—
“Stop,” Paul says out loud. His voice comes out hoarse but firm.
He blinks his eyes open and stares at his clothes for a very long time, and doesn’t think about anything at all except for how there’s a loose thread on the rug tickling the arch of his foot.
Eventually, his breath evens out. The skin of his face feels weird. Conspicuously dry, and awkward when he moves a bit, like his tears left a crisp shell of grief over his skin. Paul takes a deep breath and swallows. He pokes through the pile of clothes for his other sock.
He dresses slowly, going through the motions like when he’d come in here, but present in himself now that the anxiety’s been rinsed out of him. He feels lighter, though not necessarily better. Mostly he just feels tired. He wants a drink, and Linda’s arms wrapped around him. He wants to be somewhere someone’s still got a use for him.
By the time he’s dressed, and looking at himself in the mirror, any redness from the crying is gone. He’s left with his own pale reflect, blinking listlessly back at him. That’ll do, he supposes. That sort of looks like a person.
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mbbookblr · 1 year
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"We traveled so far and your friendship meant everything. It was very difficult, but there were moments of beauty. Everything ends. I am not afraid."
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saintlesbian · 1 year
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hiiiii i just had a really good job interview this morning so i am in a GREAT mood 2day ^_^ and now im really in the mood to draw so. I’m thinking i might stream l8r
also i wanted to do a 48 hour zine challenge so. im makin a lil sprina fanzine 4 fun lol... here’s a sketch i did 4 tha cover so far
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BF: How stupid do you think I am?! Psychic: You really want an honest answer to that?
Psychic: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve. Hex: I think you mean cards. Dearest: He did not. Psychic, pulling out knives: I did not.
Void: It kind of feels like you’re prioritizing work over our friendship. Psychic: Because I barely know you? Void: Fine, message received.
Psychic: I’m terrible at expressing myself. Kou: Don’t worry, actions speak louder than words! Psychic: Yes, but my actions are also bad.
Myth: You saved me! Why? Psychic: People would think I murdered you if I didn't.
BF: *in a jail cell* What about my Miranda rights!? You’re supposed to say I have ‘the right to remain silent’”! NOBODY SAID I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT! Psychic: *in the cell next to him* You have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity.
Void: You need a hobby. Psychic: I have a hobby! Void: Fawning over Dearest isn’t a hobby.
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septembersghost · 2 years
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reducing Marilyn to a sex object when they're saying the whole point is criticizing the atmosphere that reduced her to a sex object 🤦🏻‍♀️
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she definitely had some confliction about the parameters and views of sexuality and how it was presented at the time, and the language wasn't there yet for her to explore it more fully, but she never liked or wanted to be reduced to being a "thing." (the last sentence and the symbols/cymbals pun...her humor is so underrated)
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musical-chick-13 · 2 years
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🌹?
Here, have a snippet (more than one sentence I'm sorry, but it's needed for Context™) of the current bane of my existence, and also the last two months' bane of my existence.
“What do you want?”
Oh, she can’t answer that.
How do you tell someone that you want to live in the grooves of their grey matter? That you want to wrap yourself around every single one of their braincells, until the only thing they ever think about is you. That you know that's impossible and utterly insane and deeply, deeply unhealthy, but you don’t care, you want it anyway.
How the fuck do you even begin to tell someone that, she’s surprised she can even tell it to herself.
for every "🌹" received in my inbox i'll post one random sentence of a random WIP i'm currently writing
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pceexistsinthevoid · 2 years
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"instances where garfield became suicidal, which was two"
"the New York Times had to change how it's trade bestseller list was categorized after 7 of it's 10 slots were garfield"
"slightly too many irish stereotype garfield"
"garfield *is* despair"
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dutybcrne · 1 year
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@typewriterings​​ said : 🎶 {For Kaeya} & 🎵 {For Dain}         『 Meme || Accepting 』
Anti-Hero // Taylor Swift
"I should not be left to my own devices They come with prices and vices I end up in crisis (tale as old as time) I wake up screaming from dreaming One day I'll watch as you're leaving 'Cause you got tired of my scheming (For the last time)”
Perfect // Hedley
"When you're caught in a lie, and you've got nothing to hide When you've got nowhere to run, and you've got nothing inside It tears right through me, you thought that you knew me You thought that you knew”
Skin // Rag'n'Bone Man
"We bleed ourselves in vain How tragic is this game? Turn around, I'm holding on to someone But the love is gone Carrying the load, with wings that feel like stone Knowing that we nearly fell so far now It's hard to tell”
Never Stay Down // UNSECRET and Sam Tinnesz
"My faith's unraveling Tight rope walking over the flames Skin and bones start rattling But right now I gotta push through the pain Surviving 'cause I never quit No white flag waving in the end This beating heart won't rest So I'm not done yet”
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grntaire · 1 year
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fun musical bit about this scene!:
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the piece that the car is playing (the "classical music that stays classical music") is a tone poem, saint-saëns' danse macabre. it's a super famous piece that you've probably heard before and is associated with all things spooky. but it's not just spooky bc it sounds spooky: it's spooky bc it tells a story! a tone poem is a piece of music evokes a poem, short story, landscape, etc. in short, it's a piece of music that's describing or outlining something.
danse macabre tells the story of death, who every year on the stroke of midnight on halloween plays his fiddle to raise the dead. the dead dance for him until the following dawn, where they return to their graves until the next year. (musically it does a lot of cool things to reflect this: there's 12 notes at the beginning representing the 12 strokes of midnight, and the frequent use of a specific musical interval called the tritone. in the medieval period the tritone was also called diabolus in musica, literally meaning "the devil in music" bc of how dissonant it sounded to listeners at the time. it also quotes the dies irae chant as well!)
so the fact that it's what the car chose to play is SUPER cute. bc it's classical (technically it's from the romantic period, but w/e), like aziraphale wants, but it's also reminiscent of crowley. bc i bet the car knows just how much aziraphale loves crowley, too. it's a really subtle nudge that the car knows both of them and it's like the car is finding a musical middle for them both, almost.
it's also a subtly brilliant choice bc in the flashback prior, aziraphale said that crowley asked to meet aziraphale in the graveyard at midnight. just like death met the dead on halloween.
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fangirl-dot-com · 9 months
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Incorrect Quotes
all of these were from Pinterest - cause I'm not this funny (I also couldn't wait for the next chapter to come out so here :D)
Like always comments, questions, concerns, reblogs, and likes are appreciated <3
TAG LIST IS OPEN! - 26 spots still open! (please send me a direct message to be added!)
Y/n: I’m cool Oscar  Y/n: I’m THEE coolest  Y/n: In fact, I was once arrested for being too cool *puts on sunglasses*  Oscar: The charges were dropped because there was no supporting evidence. Also, your glasses are upside down. 
Y/n: I have a very specific type  Max: Oh yeah? Like what?  Y/n: Y’know…polite, handsome, athletic…that sort of thing  Arthur (on his fourth energy drink of the day) tripping over camera wires and holding his mic upside down: you little shit eating, damned pathetic piece of shit – now you listen here  Y/n: *heart eyes* that one. I want that one.  Max: *flabbergasted* 
Lando: bet you’re standing in the corner because you’re scared that you’ll get turned down if you talk to anyone  Y/n: please, I could fluster near everyone at this party if I chose to  Oscar: oh yeah? Prove it. Go for someone borderline impossible and I’ll believe you Y/n, approaching Arthur: hey dumbass, hoodie looks kind of cute on you, wanna get out of here?  Arthur: WH- I MEAN- UHHHH YEAH SURE  Y/n: perfect  Oscar and Lando: 
Y/n: I brought a red bull  Max: I don’t want a red bull Y/n: I didn’t bring this for you. This is my red bull. Max: then why are you telling me?  Y/n: It’s a conversation starter.  Max: That’s a lousy conversation starter  Y/n: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate *sips red bull* 
Y/n: *gently taps table*  Logan: *taps back*  Alex: what are they doing?  George: morse code Y/n: *aggressively taps table*  Logan: *slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK- 
Lewis: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated  Y/n: Killed without hesitation  Lewis: nO!
Y/n: Is stabbing someone immoral?  Mitch: Not if they consent to it.  Max: Depends on who you’re stabbing.  Christian: YES?! 
Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.  Y/n: Shit  Logan: Wait, three?  Cop: yeah? Lando: OH MY GOSH OSCAR FELL OFF!! 
Max: Time for plan G.  Liam: Don’t you mean plan B?  Daniel: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.  Y/n: What about plan D?  Daniel: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.  Max: What about plan E?  Liam: I’m hoping not to use it. I die in plan E  Yuki: I like plan E. 
Christian: Did none of you think this was a bad idea?  *Y/n, Max, Charles, and Arthur covered in navy and red paint*  Y/n: Oh no, we all did. We just decided to do it anyway. 
George: (in sunglasses and newest Tommy Hilfiger jumpsuit) *in the most posh accent* I’m too good for revenge  Logan: (covered in bug spray, cowboy hat and overalls on, pumped full of Bang energy drink and high on freedom) *cocks shotgun* Well, I’m not. Give me the name. 
Arthur: So what’s your type?  Y/n: Kinda long blond hair, green eyes, dumb, dimples, funny, really thin waist  Arthur: Huh, that kind of sounds like me! Too bad its not me! Y/n: did I mention dumb?  Arthur: yeah, why?  Y/n: just making sure 
*Over Text* 
Y/n: Hey pretty boy, what’re you up to? :) Arthur: Eating cereal in bed  Y/n: And what would you be doing if I was in bed with you?  Arthur:…I would still be eating my cereal? 
Waitress: And what would you like to eat?  Y/n: I wish to devour the unborn  Fernando: Eggs, she would like eggs 
Y/n: Do you think that when sheep go to sleep they count themselves?  Lando: Or do they count humans?  Y/n: Ooo, that’s a good question  Oscar: GO TO SLEEP 
Y/n to Max: because I am a mature adult  *turns to see Mitch, Christian, and Vito shake their heads*  *turns back to Max*  Y/n: I am an adult 
*Dinner with Max, Y/n, Charles, and Arthur* 
Y/n: The food is too cute, I can’t eat it!  Max:  Charles:  Arthur: You’re cute, but I’d still eat y- Max: ONE DINNER  Charles: *sighs* here we go again  Max: ONE NORMAL DINNER IS ALL I ASK  Y/n: Charles, this pasta is also crunchy, I truly can’t eat this 
Ollie: Good night everyone  Arthur: Good night  Lando: Good night  Oscar: Good night  Y/n: good night. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite. Tonight, imma fight until we see the sunlight. Tik tok on the clock, but the party don’t stop  Oscar: I’M DONE
George (t-posing in the doorway): Greetings, parental figures and sister figure  *Y/n, Lewis, and Toto walking past*  Toto (not looking up from his coffee): Good morning, problem child 
Christian: You see, Fernando, Y/n is at the age where she only has one thing on her mind  Fernando (noticeably excited): Oh! Oh! Oh! Boys?  Max (looking over at the dead tired rookie with revenge in her eyes as she looks at Esteban): No. Murder. 
Y/n: Hey Liam, want some of this food?  Liam: Sure, thanks!  Yuki (storming in with the anger of the gods): WHO TF ATE MY LEFTOVERS THAT CLEARLY HAD MY NAME ON IT  Y/n: WE did  Liam: You surprisingly smart little mf
Y/n: Never have I ever…Been grounded by my parents!  Arthur (exasperated): Every time. She makes disownment jokes every time and she always wins  Max: Good one Kid. I always go for the ‘never had a dad who supported me.’ Charles: *stands up and walks away* 
Y/n: I’ve only said I love you to four people. Christian, Vito, Arthur, and Max when I thought he died after he wouldn’t respond after a DNF. I only regret one of those  Lando: Which one?  Y/n: Max. He was just pressing the wrong button and walked out a few minutes later. He made me look like an idiot.  Max: I let you win next race   Y/n: still
(Y/n, Logan, Lando, and George trying to sneak into RB for more energy drinks after being banned from drinking more) 
Logan: So what do you think Y/n will do as a distraction? Lando: She’ll probably, like, make a noise  George: Or throw a rock. That’s what I would do  *The door flings open and smoke follows. Screams of mechanics fill the air as they try to extinguish a small fire*  Logan:…Or she could do that. 
Y/n: When I die, donate my entire body to science  Y/n: Except my middle finger, give that to Esteban 
(max and y/n in a horror movie) 
Max: QUICK YOU’RE LOSING A LOT OF BLOOD. WHAT’S YOUR TYPE?  Y/n (bleeding out): tall, male, brown hair, dimples, caring, supportive, Monegasque Max: BLOOD TYPE DUMBASS  Y/n: oh  Y/n: (looks down at wound)  Y/n: red 
Lando: I wish we could block people in real life.  Oscar: Restraining order  Y/n: Murder 
Christian: Y/n, we need to talk about your professionalism for media days  Y/n (and a lot of media personelle she rounded up, all standing on chairs): those are some mighty brave words for someone standing in lava 
Y/n (to Max while hiding behind some tires – regretting everything): and then I called him dad  Christian (to Geri – trying not to cry while cameras are everywhere): and then she called me dad 
Max: Christian, look what Y/n got me for father’s day *holds up generic #1 dad mug*  Christian (glaring silently while sipping from his own #1 dad mug)  Max: that lying rookie Vito (holding a worn down #1 dad mug): you guys are late to the party suckers 
Criminals: We have your daughter and son  Toto: I don’t have a daughter and Jack is right here Criminals: then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwiches?  Christian: dear God, you have Y/n and George
 
Mitch: So Christian, you and Geri want to be a parents again someday?  Christian: Someday? We’re parents right now.  Mitch: Y/n is your employee Geri: She is our BLOOD 
Christian: Max is late again  Kelly: I woke him up at 8 and pretended it was 11 Y/n: I wrote a fake schedule saying we were starting at 9 instead of 12 Lando: I changed his clock from AM to PM  Christian: I think you may have overdone it  Max (bursting into the garage): WHAT YEAR IS IT? 
Y/n: If I blended Red Bull, five hour energy, monster, coffee, and hot Cheetos into an energy smoothie...would it kill me? Logan: *shrugs* only if you die Y/n (getting out the blender): you're so smart Logan Max (running into the room): y/N STOP!
Lance: I got Netflix like you asked! Y/n: OH that's amazing! I've been mooching off Max's and Arthur's accounts for a while. This will be nice! Lance: Wait, what do you mean accounts? Y/n: Their Netflix accounts? Lance: Y/n: Like their profiles? I wanted one of my own, they're like $12 Lance: Lance:....Oh....You meant the account on the service... Y/n: Yeah, what did you think I meant? Wait...What did you buy? Lance: Lance:....Netflix...
TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @glitterquadricorn @laura-naruto-fan1998 @treehouse-mouse @sam-is-lost @kagatinkita @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @myxticmoon @angsthology @cmleitora @agent-curt-mega @graciewrote @ashy-kit @slutofmultifandom @aexitizen @sugarvibez @vellicora @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @cashtons-wife @hoetel-manager @xcharlottemikaelsonx @jayda12
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catgirl-kaiju · 7 months
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something worth pointing out in the case of Tumblr CEO @photomatt 's statement regarding predstrogen is the very clear side stepping of the conversation being had. the ask he chose to respond to as part of his statement was asking about tumblr's transmisogyny problem, and what he is commenting on is tumblr's transphobia problem.
transmisogyny is certainly related to transphobia, but the two are not the same. i've seen plenty of trans folks who are guilty of transmisogyny and have even been harassed by such individuals on this very website. he repeatedly refers to transphobia and accusations of tumblr staff being transphobes throughout the statement, but never once brings up transmisogyny. perhaps he is unfamiliar with the term, but he could look it up and read up on it before responding to a question directly asking about it. he is very clearly not doing his due diligence in addressing these concerns.
he mentions tumblr having "LGBT+ including trans people on staff," but this is not especially helpful in assessing tumblr's transmisogyny problem. based on this we don't know how many trans people, whether or not there any transfem or TMA folks (who might understand the nature of transmisogyny better than TME people) on staff, what positions these queer people hold in the company, or whether or not any of tumblr's queer employees are on the moderation team. and it's understandable why some of these specifics are left out; you don't want to put any staff members in danger of being doxxed or harassed, especially if they're vulnerable marginalized people. however, it seems to me a gross oversight to not mention if there are any trans folks working on the moderation team.
i think it's also a huge misstep to focus on predstrogen so singularly when the conversation about her account being nuked is part of a larger conversation about transmisogyny. what this reveals, too, is transmisogyny playing an active role in the decision to ban her for life. one of the aspects of transmisogyny is viewing transfem folks as especially and uniquely dangerous. i'd like @photomatt to ask himself if he would have taken "threats" like the one cited as seriously if they came from a cis person or a TME trans person. really reflect on that, Matt. i also put "threat" in scare quotes here because, frankly, it's pretty clear that said comment is a cartoonish and outlandish example of violence used to demonstrate that the intent to harm is not literal. i do this all the time both on here and in real life. telling a friend i'm going to "maul them to death" over a minor annoyance is a comedic way of expressing frustration in a way that communicates it's not actually a big deal. saying something like "i want them to explode after falling down the stairs when trying to evade a falling piano full of knives" about a public figure or someone who is negatively affecting your life works as a way of demonstrating the intensity of your feelings while not veering into territory where it sounds like you're literally planning an assassination attempt. if you're reading this, Matt, i hope you can begin to understand the difference between something like:
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and a real actual harassment, like:
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y'know, all actual comments and posts i've received on this website, and reported with detailed explanations for why i'm reporting them but never heard back from the moderation team about the situation. i have no idea if anything was ever done about any of these people sending me bigoted violent messages because no one ever does follow-up. the only time i've ever received follow-up on a report was when i reported an account for promoting self-harm in the form of anorexia. that's it. one time in the over a decade i've been on this website.
how does all of this sit with you, Matt?
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ghosts-and-glory · 8 months
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Some Narinder character analysis for y’all.
This is a slightly re-edited excerpt from a much longer post of mine where I was specifically trying to provide a rebuttal to someone else. I’m kinda proud of some of my takes here and the write up took me hours so I’m gonna repost it here on its own.
I’m going into specifically into Narinder’s
Speech patterns and way of expressing emotions.
Implications of his post defeat dialogue
Relationship with Aym and Baal
Feelings on Ratau’s death
And a little extra on why do we “babygirl” Narinder
Full analysis under the cut.
The way Narinder expresses his positive feelings
First I gotta establish Narinder’s voice. Narinder seems almost incapable of giving a genuine compliment especially without turning it into something about himself.
Here’s three examples of him giving a complement to The Lamb. Taken from after defeating Amdusias and Shamura. He also complements The Lamb when you sacrifice Ratau but I’ll come back around to that.
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I wanted to grab the entire quotes so it didn’t look like I was nitpicking.
"Very good, my vessel. It seems I chose well when I kept you from Death.”
First example, “very good,” is the complement, but immediately after he takes credit for this by calling you “my vessel” thereby claiming ownership over you. His vessel did well. And again “I chose well” doubled down and complemented himself.
“I admit, you have worn it (the red crown) almost as well as I could have myself.”
Again we see the complement layered in ego. “Almost as well as I” in other words you did well, but don’t forget I’m better. Also important to draw attention to is “I admit” this is a very explicit statement of his refusal to acknowledge the success of others.
"Your appetite for death is something I can admire, Vessel. But the Crown is mine, and none - NONE - are worthy. None other than I.”
Here he almost lays down a complement. “Your appetite for death is something I can admire” straight up, states his admiration. He seems to almost realize what he’s done and quickly pulls back into his ego, “But the crown is mine” “-none are worthy- None other than I.”
These are the three of the four ONLY times that Narinder ever says anything explicitly positive about someone else when he is a god. Thus establishing that the head ass cannot give out a compliment to save his life. The one time he gives you full credit for your actions he immediately pulls right back into his ego.
I cannot stress this enough. Someone who is characterized as cold and emotionally closed off as Narinder is WILL NOT suddenly undo this characteristic when they try and express a positive feeling.
Okay with that established we can look at his follower dialogue. Specifically these two examples from when you resurrect a follower and allow him to go on a mission.
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“I cannot begrudge supplantation by one such as yourself.”
Literally saying I don’t resent you for taking my place. It’s not an explicit statement that he respects you but this is he weird fucked up little way of saying it. Of course he still lays it out in a way that’s self centred but we know from the way he has spoken that this is about as much verbal praise he is capable of giving.
The other one is a less explicit statement but I think it’s a interesting reflection of the final place of his character.
“…my thanks, Lamb.”
Being his last bit of unique dialogue, it’s an incredible ending to a character. He thanks you. That’s all he needed to say.
Narinder’s reaction to his defeat that he would rather die.
Let’s go over his dialogue in some depth.
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"You weak, snivelling, foul thing. You - wait! Waaaiiiiiit!"
I’m starting with this line as it compels me the most. I find that there are two separate readings of this and I can’t really point to one above the other. On my play through I had assumed his wailing was more in reference to being denied death. It could also be read as him not wanting to be reduced to a follower and realizing what your mercy really means for his future.
“-are you to be a vengeful false idol, or a merciful coward? No longer can you blame your vile acts on me."
Okay, looking at the way he presents your two options he seems to push more for the murder action. “-vengeful false idol,” is how he refers to murder. It’s not exactly a glowing review but his use of the word vengeful is important. We know that one of Narinder’s main goals in the game is revenge, we he already acts with revenge I can’t say that he’s using this word as an insult. The false idol part of this statement seems like he’s attempted to separate himself from you, again for is ego.
Then he presents the spare option by calling you a “merciful coward.” The flow of this full sentence puts more pressure on this option. He presents it as the “or” the second option. This is the bad option, the option of a coward.
“So. vou are no different to me after all. You have become as I am."
I know this is a deranged order to go over these quotes but last we got murder. Compared to his spare dialogue this is incredibly sombre. We know from already establishing how big his ego is that saying you are the same as him is almost a compliment. I do find this dialogue incredibly interesting tho, I can’t exactly explain why but I can’t help but read this as damning as well. It’s like he means it in both ways, the ultimate fuck you. You are just as I am, for better and worse.
But from what we know about Narinder his edgy ass cannot express emotion. He wraps his statements in layers of irony and selfishness. Unless it supports the persona he puts on or inflates his ego he WILL NOT right out state his feelings or needs, especially when he was a chained god.
Relationship with Aym and Baal
Aym and Baal are incredibly hard to characterize. They don’t have much dialogue to work off of and only three characters every speak on them, Shamura, Narinder and Forneus. The context of the game does present them as more Narinder’s first (and second) hand, less followers more apprentices, almost, but where’s the fun in assuming.
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"Intended as keepers, perhaps, but they were young and in need of guidance. Must I be blamed for my influence?"
I wanna draw attention to the specific wording of keepers. Again, based on the way Narinder speaks its safe to assume he means the formal meaning of a keeper, meaning a caretaker. It is unclear if Narinder was told they where his keepers or if he assumed so, but either way he still speaks on them as such.
For the sake of argument (and I don’t wanna rewrite this bit entirely) I’m gonna put the idea that Narinder brainwashed Aym and Baal against my presented idea of them being his keepers or apprentices.
The proposed idea of the brainwashing angle can be developed based on Narinder saying that “they where young and in need of guidance, must I be blamed for my influence.” This implies that, as much as Aym and Baal may have been sent as keepers, they where still young and Narinder could not help but be an influence on them. I am gonna come back around to this thread so hold onto this for a moment. Moving on.
“Two kits I did have, true love found! And yet one lackadaisy summer day, my beautiful children were taken away... a gift, they said, for the one they loved most, the one that waits...”
“Ooh, kits... I remember, I remember... two kits in my claws... a gift.."
It is unclear and morally dubious how Aym and Baal came to Narinder. First we’re not 100% where Narinder is chained. The wiki lists it as the afterlife and in dialogue Narinder refers to it as “at the gates between this life and the next, trapped at the nexus of what was and what wasn't.” (When he asks you to send him on a mission.) We can travel there both by dying and being summoned there by him.
Either way the assumption is that Aym and Baal had to die. (As an aside I have my own speculation on the conditions required for a person to be presented to Narinder or to be resurrected but that’s off topic.) The horrific implications being that either Shamura themself killed the kits or that they where already dying. However you cannot blame the reaper for ushering the dead away from life.
I’m going to work off of the cult specific definition and characteristics of brainwashing. It’s hard to characterize where Aym and Baal sit here as, again they have little dialogue and due to the nature of brainwashing it’s hard to spot. First I wanna grab my brainwashing resources.
I’m using Encyclopedia Britannica’s page on brainwashing, cults, indoctrination, manipulation as my primary resourse.
Again I kinda wanna apply a layer of irony to how literally I apply real life tragedy to this game that obviously uses cults in a comedic manner. I wanna focus in on the characteristics displayed by victims of brainwashing and the techniques used in brainwashing by an abuser.
Looking at the elements used in brainwashing the only one I can say off the bat that is present is isolation, obviously. But with that let’s grab all of Aym and Baal’s dialogue.
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What is clear from their dialogue is their obedience to Narinder. They call him master while his keepers and still when you meet them later when adventuring. And physically we do see them by Narinder’s side the entire main game and they fight the Lamb first. But if we add some nuance and look at their role as keepers or my own theory of being apprentices both actions of obedience make sense still for those roles. On the same note they also don’t display traits you would expect for someone fully under Narinder’s control. They speak to the Lamb out of turn and attack without prompting from Narinder.
Other characteristics are hard to imply. With torture I do want to pass it off an unlikely as based on the way Narinder tries to manipulate the Lamb it’s only verbal and he cannot attack while chained and I don’t see that changing with the keepers. Traits like sleep, water and food deprivation can’t be applied for various reasons (mostly the being dead one) and we don’t know anything about Narinder and the keeper’s interactions in the past so I’ll have to disregard other traits like suggestion.
Baal: "It's you. Usurper of the Red Crown. The one who freed us."
Aym: "Ha! You are nothing compared to our Master. We have not been in this world long, but already I can tell you are weak. You lack discipline. Our Master wielded Death with precision and control. You allow chaos to reign."
Baal: "What my brother means to say is thank you."
Moving onto groupthink I can pretty comfortably say that this is not a present characteristic of Aym and Baal. In their limited dialogue we can easily characterize Aym as more outwardly defensive of Narinder but Baal is more reserved and even contradicts Aym and is able to speak freely of Narinder.
Looping back around to the way Narinder speaks on his influence on Aym and Baal. Again we know how Narinder speaks, he cannot give honest compliments and dodges affection like it’s a professional sport. With the way he will outright tell the Lamb to manipulate followers and then uses the words “guidance” and “influence” about Aym and Baal, he has to be avoiding admitting affection to the keepers. He does follow that up with “Do what you wish, scornful God. I care not for them.” But again does Forneus not also allow her kits to do as they wish?
My own reading of Narinder’s relation to Aym and Baal is that of mentorship but it could also be read as parental. But saying brainwashed is a big stretch.
His feelings on the death of Ratau
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This is like another example of like, yeah, wow, an evil character does evil? Who could’ve possibly foreseen this? Sarcasm aside I do see his comments on this being a lesser evil.
First I do have to ask why, if Narinder held strong sense of unrest against his former vessel, did he not have him struck down? The main reason I can see is that Ratau is still devoted to the red crown, most clearly seen by the statue at the lonely shack which generates devotion.
Second, Ratau’s death isn’t on his hands, it’s on yours. I find his pride here is from The Lamb’s actions not the death of Ratau. You killed your mentor, he describes your actions as “treacherous opportunism” and says “A great Vessel takes their master's will as their own.” Based on his later dialogue this is likely more foreshadowing the Lamb becoming as Narinder is. Narinder tried to kill his siblings, and you did kill your mentor. “You have become as I am."
I’m gonna tangent quickly cause there’s a line here that is incredibly interesting.
"He renounced his position after striking a bargain that resulted in the sacrifice of a Follower. He was weak."
Incredibly interesting the way he condemns Ratau’s sacrifice of a follower. Narinder directly contradicts himself. It is implied that the follower was lost to another being that did not benefit Narinder, but the Lamb also sacrifices followers to the Fox and Midas. Just something to chew on.
Why do we “babygirl” Narinder and other evil characters?
This is kinda the last bit I’m gonna get into before I cap this off. It is incredibly funny for me to say “I babygirl Narinder” only to get a reply that’s like “I don’t think you babygirl him on purpose.” But I wanna talk about why this happens and why it happened to specifically Narinder.
When people complain about the fandom interpretation of Narinder I think they forget the tone of cult of the lamb. The closest thing I could think to call it would be a dark comedy kinda energy.
The game has very dark themes going on. Mentions of real horrible things like genocide, cults and religious abuse. But also just like look at the game, it’s visual style is so cute and non threatening, the bird characters have two mouths to commit to the bit. If you look at the way it depicts cults it’s very surface level, it’s more focused on being a satire on the common satanic media kinda look of a cult. Visually it bathes in its aesthetics, taking names from books like The Lessee Key of Solomon, uses villainous depictions of symbols like the pentagram or old Hebrew script, disregarding its nuanced origins.
And then they go onto do the funniest thing ever. The other bishop’s? Gross little freaks, based on commonly disliked animals, worm, frog, squid and spider. And then- and then they make the god of death, who they characterize and manipulative and evil, they make him a catboy. You cannot tell me they did not know what they where doing.
Why have I shot Narinder with the babygirl beam? CAUSE THE GAME DID IT FIRST!
I’m gonna call the god of death my little meow meow and point out his status as a Tumblr sexy man cause he’s a little guy and I wanna give him head scritches. But I’m also gonna call him a layered, fucked up and an incredibly interesting character in the same breath.
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