#i continue to have So Many thoughts abt this au

[yersina]

Mmmm... When i learned that their are Riding Skills in TSCTIR, my mind just went to your recent fic with Yoojin with a Beast Tamer Skill. then i played FGO then its like a bulb lightup in my mind. Yoojin with a Skill that basically a Beast Tamer and Beast Riding skill, with riding skill working on all type of monsters. the description is like "Able to Tame and Ride Beast Rank S and Below"

[part 1]

(if the ending of this looks familiar, it's bc i posted part of it here!)

~

In the months and years after dungeons first started appearing in the world, what the media always, always chooses to gloss over is how much none of them have any idea what they’re doing. It’s always a ‘heroic struggle’ or ‘fierce battle’ or ‘close call’ and never ‘Lee Kijeong learned right then and there that his skill could do that thing’. 

See, it seems easy on the surface. Once the statistics are assessed and demographic data released, it’s revealed that the vast majority of people who Awakened are in their twenties to thirties. Young enough to know about the once-fictional concept of virtual reality gaming. Young enough to have read the fantasy stories and manhwa and recognize the Awakened interface for its game design. Young enough to want to play it like a game.

Yoojin knows plenty of other Hunters who do treat it like a game, shouting out their attacks like they’re in an anime. It’s hard not to. He gets it. There’s just something easier about accepting that you can create giant pillars of ice while shouting the skill name than fully assimilating it as a part of reality. 

But the thing is: it’s not a game. It’s their actual, real lives, and real life is never as simple as that. 

Yoojin whistles and learns that he can control the creatures that burst out from dungeon gates.

He talks and learns that he can order them to do what he wants.

He’s summoned to a dungeon break near the edge of the Han River and learns that none of this is fail-proof.

A sharp whistle and a desperate yell of “Stop!” manages to bring everything within a ten meter radius to a standstill, but it’s still not enough. Ten meters is hardly a blip on the scale of a dungeon break. But he does his job, herding a shaking family and several unlucky business people towards the evacuation route and ordering the pale, icy lion-creatures under his control to protect them on their way. The Hunters assisting with evacuation eye his tamed creatures with distrust, but begrudgingly accept their help. Hopefully it ends up speeding things along.

“Hunter Han Yoojin!” Yoojin doesn’t pause and immediately heads in the direction of the shout. 

When he jogs a block over, he skids to a stop before he’s even really registering what’s in front of him. “Wh—”

Gongryongie, the pterosaur from his first dungeon break that he could never quite let go, is grappling with a huge white mass of fur. ‘Grappling’ is generous—it’s more like Gongryongie is clinging on for dear life while the mass of fur—is that a tiger?—tries to shake it off like an annoying bug. 

The tiger is massive. It’s hunched in on itself and is still almost the height of a single story.

“Gongryongie,” he croaks, and feels the knot of worry in his chest unwind a little when his pterosaur obediently lets go and flies higher to perch on the roof of a building instead. “What—” He bites off the end of his question and turns to the hunter who called him over, who’s currently doing his best to hide behind a fragment of crumbled wall. He’s technically ranked higher in stats than Yoojin, if he remembers correctly, but doesn’t have the personality or temperament for this job. Hardly older than Yoohyun, probably, Yoojin thinks with a pang when he sees the other hunter’s white-knuckled grip on a piece of concrete. 

“I think that’s the boss of the dungeon,” the hunter answers tremulously, eyes glued to where the possible dungeon boss is still crouched in a lethal coil on the street.

“Where’s everyone else?”

“Doing their jobs in a place that’s not here.” Both of them know that there’s no one to blame here. Just everyone and everything being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Yoojin has never tried taming anything higher than B-Rank. This creature looks to be A-Rank at the very least. 

Well, there’s no time like the present.

“If things look like they’re going south, run away,” Yoojin advises, and doesn’t bother to listen to the panicked sputtering before letting out an ear-splitting whistle. “Stop!”

The tiger-creature immediately swings bright blue eyes in his direction, pinning him under the gaze of a predator. Oh fuck, Yoojin thinks fervently. He takes a hesitant step closer and is somehow not instantly killed for it. He badly wants to check his skill menu and see if it’s been updated, but he’s unwaveringly certain that if he takes his eyes off the tiger, he’s going to die.

“Hi there,” he murmurs, going for the low, gentle tone that’s better for wild, wary animals. The tiger, encouragingly, growls like it would love nothing better than to tear Yoojin to pieces. “I’m going to walk closer, okay?”

He keeps inching closer, keeps getting growled at, and impossibly, keeps staying alive. “Hey,” he says to the other hunter once he’s closed about half of the distance, still keeping his eyes on the tiger. “Hey,” he tries again when he doesn’t receive a response. “You. Hunter.”

“M-me?”

“I have this under control.” Or, at least, he prays that he does. “Go.”

“Hunter Han Yoojin—”

“Go. You’re needed elsewhere.” And then, thankfully, footsteps receding into the distance. “Hey, Gongryongie.” To his right, the click of a beak. In front of him, the tiger’s eyes are very, very blue. “Make sure he gets somewhere safe for me?” Gongryongie’s chitter is decidedly scolding. “Please.” 

And then they’re alone.

“Will you listen to me?” he muses, shuffling another step closer. The growl had trailed off to a mumble while he was directing the other hunter and Gongryongie, but now it starts up again. The longer this stretches, the more convinced Yoojin is that the only thing keeping him alive right now is his previous order to stop. “Back up,” he says curiously. 

The tiger’s growl increases to a hair-raising volume, but it takes a step back. Yoojin smiles wryly. “Don’t like that, huh?” 

He’s not so reckless as to approach it and lay a hand on its fur, but he does take a seat on the ground just slightly out of swiping reach. He stays there, quietly watching the tiger, until it finally seems to grow tired of waiting and tries to lunge. “Stop,” he says again, heart in his throat, and is rewarded with a deafening snarl. 

They repeat this cycle until a gust of air against his sweaty forehead warns him of Gongryongie’s approach. It sizes up the tiger with a look that Yoojin might call disdain if he saw it on a human, and snaps its beak when the tiger roars at it. “Don’t be stupid,” Yoojin says tiredly, mustering up a smile for his loyal pterosaur. “It could kill you with half a thought.”

Gongryongie ruffles its wings in discontent and settles into a gangly pile of limbs next to Yoojin. “Hey, what if there are people out there still?” Yoojin protests. “At least one of us needs to be doing work.” Gongryongie doesn’t budge. He tries to word it as a command instead. “If there are people who need it, go save them.” When Gongryongie still doesn’t move, he gives it up as a lost cause. Hopefully the other hunters can handle everything without him. 

They stay like that, Yoojin renewing his order to ‘stop’ every few minutes, until he’s found hours later once everything else has been cleaned up. Towards the end, he can almost trick himself into thinking that the tiger’s not fighting the control as much anymore.

He’s warned of a person approaching even before he hears shoes crunching on gravel because the tiger deigns to snap its gaze to a point over Yoojin’s shoulder for once. Yoojin doesn’t think for a second this means that its attention has really wavered from him. “Hunter Han Yoojin,” comes the young hunter’s voice. “Um. How are things going?”

“Well, I’m not dead.”

“R-right.” The footsteps stop at the entrance of the street. “I’ve been told to inform you that we probably don’t have anyone ranked high enough to defeat the boss.”

Just Yoojin’s luck. It means that the responsibility falls to Yoojin, as tenuous as his control is. “That means you’ll be joining me on my farm,” Yoojin says to the tiger. ‘Farm’ is a generous term for the unplowed plot of land and tiny building that the Association oh-so-generously purchased on his behalf for Gongryongie to live on. The tiger, predictably, growls at him. “And the other creatures that I tamed?”

“They were, uh, killed after the evacuation was completed.”

Yoojin sighs. He knows that that was an inevitable conclusion. He knows. Because as much as those creatures are his now, he has no room to keep all of them. And if he can’t keep them, then they must die.

Knowing that doesn’t stop the pang of regret.

“I’ll call you Baekho, I think,” he tells the tiger, and braces himself for the combined headache of getting Baekho to the farm and explaining to the Association why he needs to do so. “You’re about to cause me so much paperwork.”

-

Baekho does not like obeying him. There’s no other way that Yoojin can put it. The tiger finds some kind of sadistic joy in following Yoojin’s orders to the letter and only to the letter.

“Come here,” he’ll say, and Baekho takes three steps before stopping.

“Sit,” he’ll say, and Baekho will wander halfway across the field before sitting down. 

He knows Baekho is tamed—his menu proudly declares King Ice Tiger [A-Rank] when he checks it—but if it weren’t for his continued survival, he wouldn’t have been able to tell. That only highlights his problem, though: he doesn’t know what ‘tamed’ means. Apparently he’d lucked out with Gongryongie’s temperament, because it certainly doesn’t mean unconditional obedience. 

“You’re giving me such a headache,” he tells it, and Baekho licks one paw daintily.

-

They settle into an uneasy truce, where Baekho ignores Yoojin for the most part and Yoojin puts up with it. He’s wary of bringing Baekho out with him on assignments because of this, but he’s not sure there’s any safer option for either Baekho or the general public. It’s not as if Yoojin can leave it completely unsupervised while he’s out helping with a dungeon break or forced into clearing a dungeon.

However, Yoojin isn’t sure his current situation is any better.

He doesn’t know where the rest of the dungeoning team went—somewhere between the first wave of Lava Lizards and the giant Fire Tusked Black Bear that went trampling through the middle of their party, he got separated from the rest of them. Now, after defeating the boss, it’s just him and his two companions, more than shaken by the Herculean effort of fighting back to the dungeon gate on their own. 

“Gongryongie, can you fly?” he murmurs to his dinosaur, who gives a mournful cry. It’s a moot question, really. He can see plain as day the gash in Gongryongie’s wing, and even if it could wing its way out of here, there’s no way it could support the weight of Yoojin’s badly sprained ankle and probable concussion and ribs that may or may not be bruised. 

Still, it nudges its head under Yoojin’s elbow and tugs on his sleeve whenever his feet start dragging. At one point, it even tries to grasp an arm and take off with him, but it goes down in a tangle of feathers before Yoojin can even begin to be tugged in a certain direction.

“Stop, stop,” he pleads, running a hand over Gongryongie’s head feathers. “It doesn’t help either of us to over-exert yourself. Just focus on keeping yourself safe, okay?”

Gongryongie gives him a reassuring chirp, running its beak through his hair fondly, and the next beat of Yoojin’s heart hurts for it. “I’m supposed to be the one comforting you,” he murmurs in protest, but Gongryongie has already shifted its attention, snapping irritably at Baekho. 

Yoojin sighs, following its gaze. The tiger is lingering a short distance away, slinking alongside them as they make their way back to the dungeon gate. Every now and then, Yoojin can see it shake its pelt vigorously like a dog, clouds of dark ash rising from its white fur. Baekho wasn’t meant for the heat, he thinks, and even without participating in the battle like Yoojin and Gongryongie did, it’s still probably close to overheating. Still, it’s certainly the least injured of the three of them, and as much as he doesn’t want to, he understands where Gongryongie’s frustration is coming from. 

Part of him wants to order Baekho to come over and help him walk out of the dungeon. If he could figure out a way to clamber onto its back, that’d be even better, but at this point he’ll settle for just having something solid to lean against for support. 

But Baekho still watches him with wary eyes, even when surrounded by a hostile environment and even more hostile enemies, and Yoojin can’t bring himself to force it as an order. “C’mon,” he mutters, straightening up and wincing at the way his back pops and his ankle twinges. “The sooner we get out of this place, the better.”

Walking on a sprained ankle is slow. It’s slow and painful, and not even ten minutes later, Yoojin is on the verge of being frustrated to tears by his lack of progress. “Okay, change of plans,” he decides, because if he has to force himself to do this for the length of the rest of the dungeon, he might just go insane. “Gongryongie, you can still fly, right? You and Baekho should leave the dungeon and find someone who can help me.” He’s terrified that someone will see his creatures and immediately declare a dungeon break, but he’s a registered participant in the dungeon, and the color of the gate should still be fine, and—he’s not going to overthink this. He’s not. “I’ll wait here. It’ll be faster.”

Gongryongie shakes its head, a habit that it's picked up since being tamed. No.

“Gongryongie—” He cuts himself off with a growl of frustration. The way his head is spinning is starting to make him nauseous, and he’s not sure how much longer he can hold on. “Fine. Baekho—”

He turns to find his tiger, to see if he can properly order Baekho to find its way out of here and seek help, and instead feels horror flooding his body as he spots a Lava Lizard—if he sees Changhoon again after this, he’s going to punch that guy in the face, clearing the Lava Lizards was his job—poised mid-air to pounce on the tiger.

He doesn’t think about regret in that moment. He doesn’t think about what he could’ve-should’ve-would’ve done differently if only he had more time to think. He screams, “Get out of the way,” at Baekho and realizes in the next second that the tiger was standing between him and the lizard, and now, as the lizard arcs downwards, he’s the sitting duck in its way. 

He almost wants to laugh at his luck.

He still doesn’t regret it, even when the claws catch on his armor (‘experimental’, made from the hide of a creature in a dungeon that had been cleared two weeks ago), even when he falls backwards and darkness blooms across his vision when he hits his head. Even when he doesn’t blink back into awareness until the sound of a roar is shaking the very ground he’s lying on and a blue status window is hovering in front of him, words swimming in and out of focus.

Hunter Han Yoojin has reached Level 10, he thinks it says, which is funny because he’s only ever gotten experience when he or Gongryongie defeats a creature, and Gongryongie is in no shape to fight right now. 

“Good job, Baekho,” he wheezes, staring up at a collection of ashy stalactites. He can feel a wet patch growing on his chest, which probably doesn’t bode well. “Never would’ve thought you’d bother.”

The last thing he sees before he blacks out is a pair of bright blue eyes. 

-

When Yoojin wakes up, woozy and in pain and wishing that he were anywhere other than the hard, gravely ground that he currently feels underneath him, the first thing he sees is white striped fur. 

“Baekho…?” he mutters, confused, and reaches out until his fingers can tangle in the fur. He doesn’t know why he does it, he fully expects Baekho to shake it off like it always does, but instead it crowds back against Yoojin—protectively? His brain still refuses to understand—and lets out a growl.

“Hyung!”

Yoojin blinks, instantly more awake at the sound of Yoohyun’s voice. “Yoohyun?”

“Hyung!” For a moment, he spots Yoohyun’s face between Baekho’s legs, craned almost upside down in the only space that they can see each other, but in the next moment, Baekho shifts to block his view. “Hyung, you need to call off your monst—creature. Pet. I’ve got a medic here, but it won’t let us pass to reach you.”

The longer Yoojin is awake, the more confused he gets. Baekho wouldn’t do that for him. Gongryongie, he might expect, but not Baekho. His grip on Baekho’s fur tightens when he’s reminded of his dinosaur’s absence, but he smooths it into a pet and gentle push. “Baekho, I need you to move,” he says as calmly as possible. Baekho growls, but begrudgingly shifts to the side when Yoojin pushes at it more insistently. 

Not even a second later, Yoohyun is at his side, hands fluttering in the air around him like he isn’t sure where or if he can touch. “Hyung, you…”

“It looks worse than it is.” Yoojin hopes that that isn’t actually true. It already hurts a lot—he can’t imagine it looking worse.

Between Yoohyun and the medic he’d dragged over, they manage to get Yoojin out of the corner where the dungeon gate had appeared and into an ambulance so he can be taken to the nearest hospital. 

“Baekho.” Yoojin struggles against two medics as he’s packaged into the back of the ambulance. His tiger rumbles threateningly, hackles beginning to rise up. “No, no,” he says, wondering what could possibly have gotten into Baekho between him falling unconscious in the dungeon and waking up outside. “Can you get home? Can you make sure it gets back okay?” he asks one of the Hunters milling around.

“Uh,” is what he gets in response, along with wide eyes. Yoojin gives him up as a lost cause.

“Go home,” he tells Baekho. Hopefully ‘home’ will have Gongryongie, nursing its wounds. And soon, hopefully, Yoojin nursing his own wounds as well. 

Before he can check to see if Baekho follows his orders, Yoohyun drags him into the back of the ambulance and closes the doors. “Rest,” he snaps, pushing Yoojin onto the stretcher, and watches impassively as the EMTs start to hook him up to various machines.

“What happened?” Yoojin asks as something gets attached to his finger, trying to ignore how bereft he feels without Gongryongie or Baekho by his side. “How did I get out of the dungeon?”

Yoohyun furrows his brow. “You don’t remember?”

“I remember the end of the dungeon,” Yoojin offers. At that point, though, he was mostly trying his best to ignore the pain. “Gongryongie was injured, so it couldn’t carry me.” He remembers trying to convince his pterosaur—who could barely support its own weight—that it shouldn’t be trying so hard to drag Yoojin as well as itself. “I was trying to make it to the gate. I don’t remember how I actually got out.”

“I didn’t actually see you until I was called to deal with your tiger.” Yoohyun crosses his arms, tapping a finger in agitation. “Your bird-dinosaur thing flew off before anyone could get to it.” Yoojin breathes a quiet sigh of relief. At least it was strong enough to do that. “Someone mentioned that your tiger carried you out on its back.”

“Baekho did?” Yoojin frowns. “Are you sure?”

“I didn’t see it myself.”

Baekho—would never. 

“You’re sure you didn’t order it to bring you out before you lost consciousness inside?” Yoohyun asks, taking in Yoojin’s confusion. “You can do that, right?”

He can, but he didn’t, and that doesn’t explain why Baekho would stand guard over him after. “I can, but that’s not in its personality,” he explains helplessly. “Baekho isn’t the same as Gongryongie.”

Out of habit, he checks his status window, skimming over most of the information. He vaguely remembers seeing an alert pop up as he was finishing the dungeon, but most of the details were lost on him as he was trying to reach the gate. Most of it is largely the same, with a few stat increases—from leveling up, he’s assuming—but his eyes catch on a particular detail halfway down the window.

[Awakened Han Yoojin has reached Level 10.

Monster Tamer (S) Title Upgrade

Additional Skills

Tame Monster (S): Use of keyword will tame any dungeon creature of S-Rank or lower.

Ride Monster (S): Any tamed creatures can be ridden regardless of creature type.]

Oh. Oh.

“Hey, Yoohyun,” he says weakly, still staring at the change to his title. “Have you reached level ten yet?”

“I’m probably close, but no. You’re in the field more than I am, hyung.” The knot between Yoohyun’s eyebrows tells Yoojin what he thinks of that, but Yoojin can hardly spare a thought beyond the implications of his status window at the moment.

This is a game, he thinks half-hysterically. He’s received a power up at level ten. Is Baekho more obedient because his title got upgraded to S-Rank? Is he going to get another one of these at level twenty? Will the title become SS-Rank?

Yoojin lies back against the stretcher and finally lets his mind go blank, utterly overwhelmed.

What the fuck is happening? 

[brother-emperors]

@garland-on-thy-brow #get romancedramad romeboys.

(metal gear solid voice) on it boss 🫡

the first and last ones are scene re draws, in order: the live action adaption of sci mystery, the heirs lmao

[hanlimz]

[midnight thoughts: jungwon + the sublime]

synopsis: after an arduous battle, jungwon isn't sure if he's going to make it, but he has to say something before he goes. pairing: yang jungwon x gn!reader genre/warnings: spiderwon!au, angst with happy ending / mentions of blood, discussions of death, overall angsty themes but no one actually dies!, lots of confessions of love, and weird inclusion of "the sublime" bc we talked abt it in my eng class, also NOT proofread :,) wc: ~2.4k (haha OOPS) a/n: heyyyy how yall doin :))))) this has been sitting in my drafts forEVER ... and i finished it at 1am b4 my first day of school so be warned for inconsistencies / i liked the first half of this drabble but the second half is not my fave ,, so sorry that i couldn't do you justice spiderwon

yang jungwon never believed in the concept of the sublime. that uncanny mixture of overwhelming fear and unsettling fascination never managed to make an impression on him. especially in his line of work, jungwon is firm in his notion of death: when the time comes, a vast blackness will consume him; the void will leech away his life, and he will cease to exist. there will be no theatrics, no white light, no booming voice or angel song—only a comforting emptiness welcoming him into the dark.

now, however, jungwon lies alone in a familiar back alley; the tips of his fingers are numb from the amount of blood he's lost, and he can hardly lift his head up from the brick wall it's resting on. the palms of his hands are stained a deep crimson as he attempts to stop the river of red spilling from his thigh. jungwon admires the eerily beautiful way in which the body lets go; glinting in the dim street lights, his wounds glitter like rubies in a summer sunset. at this point, succumbing to his injuries seems inevitable, and jungwon thinks there may be some truth to be found in sublimity.

but, he's not ready to die. not yet—not with so many things left undone, so many things left unsaid.

with the little strength he has left, jungwon reaches for his backpack hidden in the nook behind the dumpster. he pulls out his phone and dials a number number he knows by heart; his cold fingers fumble over the screen, and he curses his current lack of dexterity. eventually, though, the machine begins to ring. the sound grates on his ears as he waits with bated breath for you to pick up.

"hello?" you croak, your question laden with sleep, "who is it?"

a breathy chuckle escapes jungwon's lips. he had forgotten how late it was, how you mentioned earlier that you had a calulus exam tomorrow, and just how gorgeous you sounded when you were tired. "sorry, [y/n] ... didn't mean to wake you," jungwon sighs, "just wanted to hear your voice."

"won, seriously?" you scoff, "this couldn't have waited 'til tomorrow? i mean, it's—it's two in the morning ... i was literally just dreaming about acing that calc test."

a dopey grin fastens itself to jungwon's lips as he wills his eyes to stay open. if he falls asleep, he knows there's a possibility that he won't get back up; so, he indulges for a bit, listening to your fatigued grumbling and smiling like an idiot. "honestly, m'not sure if tomorrow's in my cards, [y/n]," he admits, trying to hide how labored his breaths are becoming, "'nd i jus' wanted to hear you one last time."

"yang jungwon, what the hell are you—" jungwon knows exactly when you realize he's in trouble. he knows exactly when you realize he's not messing with you. the abrupt pause, the hitch in your breath, the way you inhale through your teeth—it's almost too obvious. "oh fuck," you continue, "oh shit ... won, where are you? are you hurt? what can i do to help?"

jungwon coughs out a laugh, "'m in the alley off jackson ave, 'nd i think i've bled on every piece of old furniture back here, if that says anything."

your breathing is frantic. jungwon listens to the sound of rustling clothes and the occasional thud of your foot as it hits your bed frame. you're cursing and mumbling and unravelling at the seams, searching for whatever you can that might help you help jungwon. out loud, you go through a list: gauze, neosporin, saline.

"am i missing anything?" you ask, not expecting a response.

"bandages?" jungwon replies.

"bandages!" you exclaim, "i almost forgot the fucking bandages?" there's more noise on the other side of the phone, and jungwon doesn't let himself relax until he hears your window crack open. metal clangs as you rush down the fire escape; he wills the beating of his heart to match the tempo of your feet against the steps. jungwon wills himself to stay alive. and, it's almost as though you can read his mind through the phone. "don't you dare fall asleep, yang jungwon. talk to me about something—anything—just don't fall asleep."

he racks his brain for a topic of conversation; the nerves building in his stomach as he anticipates next week's orgo exam, the cat he rescued from a tree in queensbridge park earlier today, the new thai restaurant that opened up near his apartment building. options race through his mind, but all of jungwon's thoughts lead back to you.

"i love you," jungwon says, abrupt yet resolute.

"oh god." you suck in an incredulous gasp, "you're delirious. this is—"

"i'm not delirious," he interrupts, voice hauntingly clear. "i know what i'm saying. and, i'm saying that i love you, [y/n] [l/n]."

for a moment, the line crackles with a thick, viscous silence that seeps through the grainy static; it's heavy, almost too real, and jungwon listens to the sound of your shoes slamming against the pavement until you speak again. "okay," you sigh, something unreadable swimming behind your words, "keep talking to me, jungwon."

jungwon takes in a deep breath before speaking again. his whole body is cold now, and if it weren't for the weakness spreading throughout his veins, he's positive his teeth would be chattering. inhaling the concoction of gasoline fumes, freshly dumped trash, and frigid, autumn air, jungwon feels the chill of the reaper creeping up the length of his spine. its spindly fingers beckon him into that same darkness he was once so sure of, once so okay with. but, jungwon can't let himself give in to its temptation. after all, he has someone waiting for him.

"you give me this feeling," jungwon declares in an inexplicable moment of lucidity, "'nd i dunno how to explain it. it's—it's like ... i look at you, and you pull me in. an invisible string, maybe? fate? true love? i'm—i have no idea what to call it. you always make me want to know more, even though i've known you forever. since we were kids, [y/n]—i've felt like this for years. and, i'm sorry. i'm sorry for not telling you earlier, for not telling you when i told you about the whole spiderman thing.

"i'm such an idiot for making you worry. someone who loves you shouldn't do that to you, i shouldn't do that to you. and, god [y/n]—i love you so much. you're this force of nature, you know? drawing me in, even though it's dangerous. and, even though i'm terrified of what the consequences might be, i love you so much that i'm afraid to die without saying it at least once.

"i'm—i'm so sorry for being so stupid, because—" jungwon whispers with a shaky voice, teetering on the edge of consciousness, "i love you, [y/n]. i love you."

jungwon's hearing is fading in and out, and his vision is growing blurry; but, the sounds of your footsteps accompanied by the incessant drone of his phone keeps him from slipping into that overwhelming darkness. you take in a sharp breath, and his head lolls in your direction. jungwon's lips are molded into a mindless, faraway smile; his eyes are misted over, foggy with both pain and fatigue. he's not all there, but he still manages to be cheerful. it astounds you.

rushing over to begin applying all the first aid supplies you managed to stuff into your backpack. wound-wash, gauze, bandage, wound-wash, gauze, bandage, wound-wash gauze bandage, wound-washgauzebandage. the sheer amount of blood that has been leeched from his body makes you dizzy; your head is spinning as you try to calculate just how many pints would be equal to what you've just sopped up. glancing up at your best friend (crush? lover?) you see that his eyes have drooped shut. his skin is pallid, his lips are pale, his neck is craned at an awkward angle as it rests on his shoulder. and, your heart stops because you didn't get to say it back.

"no. no, no, no ... won—jungwon, wake up!" a storm brews in your stomach. it starts as a mellow rain pattering against the lining of your intestines, then becomes a raging tempest as it bubbles up and out of your throat. "please, please, please! i got here in time, i swear—i never cared about the stupid, fucking calc test! i cared about you, i care about you! and, i'm here now, so you can't leave. you can't leave me."

an inhuman shriek claws through your lips, ricocheting against the brick walls that seem to be caving in around you; the weight of the world crashes into your frail shoulders, threatening to crush you. as you inch even closer to jungwon's shrouded figure, your pants are soaked through with a crude mixture of blood and rainwater. you reach out for him and cup his cheek with a trembling hand, and part of you swears his skin is still warm to the touch.

but, hope has no place here.

instead, you cradle his head and heave his body to rest against yours. he is astonishingly heavy; you can feel his muscles ripple beneath the tips of your fingers, but you're already convinced. your best friend is dead. slowly, the cement will absorb his heat, and he will grow cold. as the morning draws nigh, you will be forced to put his mask back on and leave him for someone else to find. then, the news articles will pour in, and the city will have stolen not only his life, but his death as well. tears are wetting his scalp as you bury your nose into his sweat-caked hair. you're gripping at his suit so hard you think the threads might snap, and the throbbing in your head is nothing compared to the agony in your heart.

the wailing doesn't stop until, in your peripherals, you see his finger twitch. sucking a staggering breath through his nose, jungwon cracks open a tired eye to gaze up at you. "i would—" he coughs out with a wince, "i would never leave you."

in your stupor, his voice doesn't register first. his mouth moves, but no sound escapes him; then, the words play over again in your mind while his lips remain closed. seconds melt into minutes, and you float away from your body. a numbness overtakes you as you stare at the scene before you from about five feet away; your fingers are still clutching at the suit fibers, the pajamas you chose earlier tonight are now saturated with blood, and jungwon is breathing. jungwon is breathing. jungwon is breathing.

snapping back into yourself, you place a weak hand on his chest. steadily, certainly—it rises and falls; the beating of his heart, though shallow and slow, thrums beneath your palm. shifting your stare to his face, you are greeted once again by a familiar, wry smile. jungwon is alive. despite all odds, the boy you love is alive; and, try as you might, you can't really help yourself.

"[y/n]?" he croaks, quirking the eyebrow above his less swollen eye, "can you hear—"

"i love you, too."

the utterance dangles precariously in the frigid midnight air. jungwon's lack of response causes your stomach to churn until he relexes further into your frame, huffing out a pained laugh. he lets himself rest for a moment, relishing in the warmth he manages to leech from your skin. "it wasn't ... wasn't supp—supposed to happen like this, you know?" jungwon protests, voice catching on his fatigue and discomfort. "i ... had everything planned—planned out."

"won, you don't—"

baring his teeth, he lifts a hand to hold the one you kept on his chest and barrels through your objection. "i was gonna take you to the met ... gonna take you for a pic—a picnic in central park." jungwon sputters, pressing his forehead against your upper arm, "then, we would swing ... back to your apartment. 'nd, i was gonna tell—tell you. tell you about how i feel."

still supporting his neck with your arm, you move to take his face in your palm once more. jungwon's gaze is sharper than it was just minutes ago—more focused, more alert. the emotions swirling in those deep pools of raw umber are more multitudinous than the stars they reflect. gratitude, torment, joy, defeat, love. bridging the gap that had separated the two of you for so long, you stop just shy of his lips. a dynamic heat emanates from them; jungwon is practically vibrating under your touch, living and breathing.

"are you okay?" you ask, "is this okay?"

jungwon answers by pushing himself up—closing the distance, sharing your breath, connecting your souls. salt and iron dance on his tongue as your tears mingle with his blood. it's a hypnotizing concoction—one that threatens to send him reeling, one that threatens to have him spinning out with no hope of return. fireworks explode behind his eyelids, a myriad of bright reds and vibrant oranges blinds him, and jungwon uses what is left of his strength to grip your wrist; he grounds himself and allows his lungs to burn as he breathes you in.

after a while, however, your parting is instinctual as the lack of oxygen forces you apart—two bodies trying to preserve themselves long enough to meet again. with a labored sigh, jungwon slumps backwards and tucks his chin to catch your gaze. in that moment, he finds himself frozen; his essence is suspended motionless, positively bewitched by you. in the silence, where all he can sense is you, jungwon embraces the ever-present warmth that has flourished within him. it floods his being with a terrifyingly powerful adoration for you. it is nothing like he has ever felt before, and though he is brave enough to confess, this extent of his love for you—it scares him.

however, as your skin glows in the light of the moon and your eyes pool with the desire for a future with him, jungwon digs his feet in and roots your love deep within his heart. he refuses to let this fear grow in its place; instead, he vows to nurture it, to care for it, to protect it. as he lies in your arms, jungwon rejects the sublime once more and chooses for himself.

"i love you, [y/n]," he whispers into your palm.

the world seems to go quiet as it listens for your response.

"i love you, too, jungwon."

[seungxstar]

! // ➶┊Jealousy

Bada x fem reader (headcanons!!)

a/n : it's like 4am rn and i just finished writing this whole thing and tbh i would so write a fic abt this

(also if you see this I would love love love it if you could leave me some opinions on this LOL)

How I think Bada would be if she was jealous… (which would be quite often because I just see her as like a jealous lover but maybe that's just me)

- bada is SO the type to bring you around her events to show you off like a trophy, but also gets jealous the moment another person living being just looks in your general direction.

- to be fair, she should be used to the attention already, i mean, pretty dancer and pretty gf, rightttttt…?

- Wrong!

- she would get so jealous so fast just from you politely greeting a guest at the event who greeted you.

- not even a greeting is needed, gosh you could just bow slightly at the said guest and she would be SEETHING in jealousy.

- now if you were to do this on purpose, ha ha funny now you're on actual thin ice.

- she would totally ignore you on the drive home, probably with nothing but whatever that happened (a hello) in her mind.

- she's incredibly possessive as a gf lol

- but I think we all know that, don't we?

- she wants whatever that's hers to be close to her and only her

- and you're hers

- so obviously she wouldn't want you around other people

- bonus points if you're a social butterfly

- overly friendly x possessive looking real cute rn

- she doesn't get why you think making her jealous is fun, but to be fair, jealousy is an extremely attractive trait of hers.

- it's just the way that you can feel her stare even if you're not looking at her

- the way you could be dancing with a stranger and when you turn around to look at her, and you just see her staring dead into your soul

- and maybe if you thought it was funny and continued dancing with the said stranger

- when you turn around again, you just see her poking the inside of her cheek with her tongue

- uh oh

- now that's how you know she's hit the limit of jealousy she can endure with you and strangers

- if you're not coming to her within the next few seconds,

- she's coming to you instead.

- she totally would just drag you out of the club by the wrist

- probably kept a counter on who and how many times you interacted with other people

- what was she going to do with that information?

- no idea.

- don't really wanna know too tbh

- (she could kill em) *mafia au

- but let's not go down that path!

- i mean, she's aware and clear that you only have feelings for her and that she's the one you fall asleep with

- but then she would also stake her claim (you) in public, be it wrapping her arm around your waist or just full on making out with you in public

- but hey

- let the jealous woman be jealous and act on it ig

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

pov ur nervous abt ur new job but feel a little better when u think ur coworkers will be nice and friendly but then they aren’t and it sends u on a downward spiral bc ur just quirky like that

A retelling of ‘oh my god. You hated me. You’ve hated me this whole time.’, taken in a DIFFERENT mental-illnesses-go-brrr direction! Continued below the cut,

Haha yikessss! That’s cringy! I’m surprised you’ve scrolled down this far! Mostly I’ve been hoping people would see the first bit of this post and go ‘oh hell nah’ and pretend like it didn’t just plague their innocent mind with the knowledge that self insert cringe of this level still exists! So congrats! I’ve committed many crimes and you’re here to witness them

To answer some question you might have:

Who is that???: SURPRISE IT’S NOT VANNY!!! that is Babbit! Or Rabbit, or Bones, whichever you prefer. It’s a self insert of me!

Why are they a rabbit one second then a person the next?? Are those even supposed to be the same character??: Yes, they are the same person, just drawn in different ways! Why they change is a little more difficult to explain bc it,, depends, honestly sjdhdjd. A lot of the time, the rabbit is like,, an inner version, the more honest and vulnerable version of Rabbit, the ‘you’ that YOU see in your own mind. The regular human version is, normally, what the world sees, the actual, physical person that is Rabbit.

But why tho: Idk I just like weird stupid metaphors and weird wonky character designs!

What’s happening??: Rabbit has a job at the daycare! Rabbit is an anxious, stressed out and socially inept person who worries a lot about what other people think! Sun and Moon dislike them, bc this was inspired by some of those AUs where Sun and Moon are just mean for no good reason LMAO. Rabbit is crushed by this bc they thought Sun and Moon, who are PROGRAMMED and DESIGNED to be likeable and friendly and caring, would HAVE to like them!! It’s their job! It’s what they’re supposed to do! It’s what they’re built for: to like people and to be liked by people! To be disliked by them means there is something so fundamentally and ineffably wrong with them that it breaks the laws of physics- at least in Rabbit’s mind. Before they could disregard everyone who disliked them as people being people and them just having a disliked personality! But to be disliked by something designed to like people? Holy mothballs, bat man, you must be REAL KINDS of fucked up!

They think there is something so wrong with them that even the ones who like everyone do not like them, and it is THEIR FAULT that they are disliked, not anyone else’s- not even Sun and Moon’s. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. And it hurts more when Sun and Moon fake being kind and friendly under a heavy layer of passive aggression. So, at the end of their rope and believing there is nothing that can be done to help them or fix their situation, they start to loathe Sun and Moon and start to lash out at them whenever feeling especially slighted. Is this reasonable? No! Does it make them feel better? Absolutely not!!! Do Sun and Moon deserve it??? No not really!!! And the farther it goes the more Rabbit let’s themselves sink into being as bitter and hurtful as they always tried so hard not to be. And it’s not anyone’s job to fix them but theirselves. But right now, for the first time in a long time, they really don’t want to.

Does Rabbit actually just need a hug and a warm blanket???? Idk probably!!!!

This is a self insert????: Yup!

So this is based off you??: Unfortunately!

Does that mean-: haha!!!!!!!!! Don’t worry about it!!!!!! :) Next question!

Most people’s fantasies are about their faves liking them, yknow: Haha yeah!

Why did you even make this: I’m going to pretend like I’m not just completely nuts and say, it helps me process my feelings and also ✨catharsis✨

Do you want to talk: HAHA no definitely not this is embarrassing enough as is!!!!!!

U good?: Yes actually! Just weird! Sorry sjdgdjshdnvdndbdhd

Why are you sharing this: idk tbh maybe validation on some weird fucked up level lmao

Anyway thank u for ur time and I apologize for the death of so many of ur brain cells. Idk why ur still here but holy shit man idk if I should be proud of u or scared of u. I’m mentally giving u a gold ribbon tho congrats on,, reading this abomination of a post ig

[mapletine]

silly celeb au concept sketches (wing photocard next week <3)

+ i have so many thoughts abt this au guys i need to be sedated (don’t open the cut unless u rly want more info bc. there's. A LOT. it will be a wall of incoherent rambling text im sorry)

ok first disclaimers: i know very little abt idols and even less abt modeling so!! if anything is horrifically inaccurate forgive me im stupid!! and also this will literally be stream of consciousness unedited so if it makes zero sense im very sorry

now we begin the madness

some background info: kite was scouted off the street (as he was walking off from pickpocketing someone LMAO) for his height and build, currently very sought after to model for many brands because he’s literally the same as the sketch models on paper so the designers don’t have to compromise on their clothing designs to fit the model, bc he just. looks exactly like the paper sketch. also the white hair is very distinctive!! and his prep/management team is his research team <3 he’s currently the face of several brands, including the zoldyck brand (i see the zoldycks as a very influential family in the fashion/modeling industry, kikyo was a former model until an accident, now she’s focusing on designing, all the kids are involved in the industry somehow, illumi is within the same agency (?is that how modeling works) as kite). he’s in his mid-twenties ish and hes 6'3" - 6'4" (190 - 193 cm)

wing and his idol group debuted a couple years ago (haven’t thought too much about the members, but im thinkin feitan maybe? kurapika?? shalnark?? idk guys maybe he’s a solo act) and they’ve skyrocketed to fame. uhh in terms of content they produce, thinkin something similar to wayv/bts type music (stuff that crowds just eat up LOL like love talk by wayv, luna by oneus that kind of music) and im thinking that wing’s debut look was REALLY BAD (they made the poor man blond) but when they put him back to his normal hair color he got rly popular. he’s had some bad eras where the stylists made him look a little goofy but… he’s good now (his best era was the mullet era). also he was trained by bisky who was a former idol who has retired and she's a legend in the industry… and wing is currently guiding an idol trainee (zushi lol). wing’s in his early-mid-twenties i think and he's 5'9" - 5'10" (175 - 178 cm)

ok and the main 4 fit into this uhh... i think gon is also an idol trainee along w zushi. and killua is currently modeling for a popular teen's clothing brand. i think i mentioned kurapika as being a part of wing's idol group but lowk i think maybe he's an actor instead. leorio is also. an actor. yeah ok there we go

uhhhh ok general thoughts:

i see them meeting at like.. the met gala or its equivalent and they meet when wing trips over kite’s clothes (he’s wearing something with a ridiculously long train and wing isn’t looking where he’s going), and at first wing thinks kite is super standoffish/rude bc he doesn’t apologize or offer a hand when wing trips… he just.. sorta stares at him on the floor for a second then clacks off in his very pointy shoes (he was flustered abt the very pretty stranger who just fell for over him. also he was STRESSED asf) (also the perspective that wing had probably didn't help bc bro was on the floor and kite was staring down at him from a height of like 6'9 with the heels)

afterwards there’s a bunch of pictures and edits of wing falling over all over the internet bc it was kind of funny… and ppl are telling him like “oh my god you tripped over yorknew’s top model the LITERAL FACE of fashion right now” and wing is like “damn i didn’t know also he’s a jerk”… and to kite ppl r telling him “oh my god the country’s MOST POPULAR IDOL tripped on you” and kite’s like “uhhh.. who?” (he doesn’t keep up with the entertainment industry despite being a part of it) and they both search each other up and they both have a moment like “oh my god i fucked up (also he's really hot)”

anyways they continue randomly (not at all random very much orchestrated by the people around them) meeting at things,,, there’s a very awkward apology from kite where he explains (sortof) why he didn’t help wing up… uhh stuff happens they fall in love and start dating LOL (i didnt think abt this part that hard) and for a hot minute there r paparazzi photos circulating of them together and the media is losing their collective shit

fast forward a little bit and they r like “yea we r together LOL” and then u start seeing kite at wing’s concerts in a spectator box staring very lovingly at wing on the stage and wing (and sometimes his whole idol group) starts showing up to fashion shows and wing looks like shellshocked every time kite steps onto the catwalk hes got kind of an awed stare on his face

ok future thoughts:

after abt two? ish years dating (engaged for 6 months out of those 2 yrs) they have an extremely private wedding with only close friends invited, and when ppl start noticing theyre wearing wedding bands (takes a while bc wing usually wears a lot of rings anyways, and kite wears his on a necklace and not on his hand) the media has a collective meltdown. again. (i am the media in this i think. i have meltdowns bc of them.)

um and eventually (around when him and kite get married) wing's idol group splits apart as they all go to pursue individual passions/careers, so now he's workin on his own music/vision. i think his personal music is much more peaceful and vibey than what his old group produced, more gentle love songs and poetic music and whatnot.

and kite steps out of the spotlight and is focusing on nature conservation philanthropy type stuff,, so he'll still step out and model for charity/fundraiser type stuff and he's the face of a large conservation foundation. (also bc sometimes he'll join like.. ocean cleanup initiatives or similar things and like. imagine ur volunteering to pick up garbage on the beach and u literally see like. anya taylor joy and her husband also out there picking up garbage or smthn. that's how the other ppl feel.) hes also a big advocate for no kill shelters and donates a shitload to them i like to think.

so yeah ok if u made it this far bless u!!! i dont really have any coherent storyline thoughts just this aggregation of random world building thoughts ok bye (btw if u have thoughts on this feel free to dm me abt them or tell me what u think in the replies or tags im brain rotting abt this stupid au so hard rn)

anyways im no writer (if u couldnt alr tell from this word vomit) so no fic but i may continue churning out thought fragments like this

[hartmannyoukaigirl]

i cant stop thinking abt the official aot highschool au.. usually i am So disinterested in irl and school aus but in this case it is a bit fun because isyama himself came up w it and he made it so stereotypically 2000s american highschool movie themed in a somehow not annoying or bad way

( unhinged rambling ensues )

i literally. do not even like those types of movies. but to imagine the very tragic aot cast in such a light hearted setting is fun and interesting

especially because the characters are every so slightly different and ngl i still want isayama to kill himself bc of the ending but he cooked with that AU

Eren in that au is soooo painfully average but has a bit of edge to him. it is Still Small but its There and i so badly want to draw him going through character development and amping up that edge to 999

And. Also. Itll be a ship comic IF i make it but i dont want to bc i don't rlly like drawing ships

it'll be ao cringy though, and not my usual kind of cringe it is actually in the normie twitter/facebook direction which is why im hesitant and kinda ashamed i even want to draw such a normie thing. my elitism has gotten the better of me

I talked b4 abt how eren and historia are kinda not a bad ship!! and in that au they actually had peak interactions and its. like. its fun to imagine the ( not ) average ( not ) lame nobody of the school eren end up with THE queen bee historie in that au. Their dynamic would be a bit cool although SO STEREOTYPICAL. BUT THATS PRECISELY THE POINT

to explain

in that au historia hates being popular and having a dedicated simp circle ( which she does ) but she's also a bit stuck up. just. a bit. but she doesn't enjoy it

and my girl. has been lowkey fixating on eren anyways because he was kinda the lame loser of the school and when he ended up with geniune friends she GOT JEALOUS and

a whole dramatic arc ensues that ends with her crying bc of bullying and chad eren saves her by lying and taking the blame so she blushes n goes kyaaaa eren ?!?!!!? ( written by the man who ruined the story for eren x m*kasa btw. ) and it ENDS THERE

So. That made me think of me continuing the story aa a fanfic ( drawn doujin ) where eren !! eren :3 :) pays a bit more attention to her because it made me sad how he fr moved on while she still has her dedicated fake simp circle

IN CANON. she loses her beloved gf and gets depressed and it is eren who cheers her up and says she doesnt have to act bubbly or cute or a good girl that he likes her better as her true self :) this cheers her up and makes her gain confidence and. then. eren discovers he kinda chomped his dad and gets depressed and it is historia who says fuck his dad useless bastard anyways & it is better to be selfish and move on for one's own sake. and says theyre the enemies of Humanities and despite the many crimes their families did it doesn't matter and theyll be different ( THEN EREN BECOMES 1000X WORSE LMAO LETS GOO 80% GENOCIDE 💯💯 ) this cheers eren up and makes him Stop being suicidal and actually move forward ( based historia i wish she went on with the 100% seflish personality before isayama ruined her )

OK SO MY POINT IN THE HIGHSCHOOL AU. ITD BE FUNNY IF THEY WENT THROUGH A SIMIALR DEVELOPMENT BUT WITHOUT THE STAKES AND DRAMA AND TRAGEDY OF CANON

where

it is a simple development where eren tells her she doesnt have to be the perfect cute bubbly feminine girl of the school and can just be herself. similar to what he told her in canon. hiatoria goes ?!?!?!??! :"O :") and also >///< and a bit 👉👈 and yknow how it is

Eren also starts noticing her a bit more & hanging out with her and becomes her first real actual friend !! yayayya :3 u could say eren also starts liking her after she shows more of her true personality and stops being stuck up also. yknow. lets go of her super popular fame

but thats just my thoughts. i had the story for a fake dating au ( 💀💀💀💀 I AM ACTUALLY REGRESSING ) bc thats kinda similar to what happened in the canon au !! except yknow as fake dating aus go it stops being fake ( UR KIDDING I WOULDVE NEVER NOTICED ) & they get together 👏👏

MY POINT IN ALL OF THIS

I WANT TO DESIGN THEM BOTH IN PUNK CLOTHINF. THANK U AND GN

[felikatze]

most ancient dream loop actually isn't what i have planned in my au but I need you to know that ever since i read your tags Ive been rotating it in my head. IT'S SO FASCINATING. because in the end it's still all their fault. it's still just them being so, so lonely and loving too much. Im insane Im insane Im not normal. Im insane. Im crazy. IM CRAZY. in this hypothetical would it not be siffrin who tries to kill OD, but OD who tries to kill siffrin. would siffrin look nothing but human, and loop the monster... but loop is the one who looks at siffrin, and hisses, "monster." It's just so isejis jeoejrkvmo33iu394i#&[$*$[2[3[=*#×(@,@**$

IT'S NOT YOUR PLAN??? it felt the obvious choice with kdj siffrin. though. upon consideration. bihyung loop would be funny as hell also.

BUT LIKE. A. YEAH. it came to mind bcuz of the homocide dynamic also. AND. WAIT. I JUST HAD A BRAINWAVE. ANCIENT DREAM IS THE FIRST ITERATION OF KDJ. LIKE. LOOP. and the whole of wos & orv exists to save MAD. the same way that Loop needed Siffrin to see how to keep on living. The same way Loop watches Siffrin over and over again, the way Loop has reduced their friends and family and themself to characaters that all ends when these characters reach through the page to hold them.

(Thinks abt MAD and the 999th gang in this context. Sobs)

it IS an interesting reversal that Loop sees Sif as a monster out of their own jealousy, whereas KDJ is disgusted by MAD bcuz MAD represents his lowest point and deepest insecurities he wishes gone. It's deeply similar I think in that Loop also sees Siffrin as their naive stupid past self and perceiving their own vulnerabilities through Siffrin registers as a threat to them.

In a Loop as MAD scenario it is also vry easy to spin Loop attacking Sif instead bcuz thru wos kdj continuously distances himself from what a "person" is often to focus on pragmatism that leads to the emotional hurt of his friends and also as a vehicle of his repressed suicidality. And seeing Sif so distanced from a "person" through the loops as well when Sif nonetheless got everything Loop ever wanted as Loop clung desparately to the last remnants of themself that Siffrin willingly let go, they would be mad, I imagine.

(ofc you said your AU isn't 1:1 so like, no scenarios probably. Actually do you keep scenarios and constellations or does Mirabelle just timeloop bcuz she keeps dying to the King ICAC-style?)

tldr: many thoughts. your mind is an enigma to me if it is not MAD Loop to KDJ Siffrin.

if it is actually bihyung Loop though I will laugh so fucking hard I'm making myself giggle over it

[whalesforhands]

i want to say so many things abt stsg & mc in dyf au so bad omg. i feel like their characters aren’t getting across and i don’t feel like talking in fic writing language i just want to vomit everything out

and also bcs nobody talks to me in asks :(

dyf IS an alternative universe where gojo and geto get together late first year/early second year if you haven’t already noticed.

i headcanon it would be around christmas when it’s so called ‘official’

it’s just?? kind of decided unanimously one day that they get together since they get each other so well? unsaid lovers kinda thing

dyf!mc actually assumed they were already dating during the start of the first year. its definitely love at first sight when they butt heads as often as they do right? she swears that ppl with that type of relationship either end up in a grave or in bed together

i’ve said this before but stsg’s relationship is something i view as far more than friendship or just a romance. there is this… unsaid understanding between them despite their differences. i imagine them as mirror images of the other, two halves of a whole, soulmates ykwim

everyone thinks gojo is the horny one, but it’s geto x190%

when do all 3 get together? officially, not yet. third year aus are typically them teetering ON romantic relationship, but definitely holds no water yet. but there is an increase in skinship that dyf mc had settled comfortably into and thinks it’s perfectly normal.

i mean, she does that with shoko right?? what’s the diff if she does it with these 2 that she loves just as much (and may or may not have a crush on)

anyway, back to dyf mc

i don’t know if it’s super obvious to everyone yet, but dyf mc definitely has some degree of social anxiety and depression, explaining the way she pulls back and gets lost in her thoughts instead to feel safe

she understands what she feels, but it’s very very overwhelming u get?

mc is also shown to be sensitive to cursed energy if u also didn’t notice loll,,,, to the point she can pinpoint the 3. or is it just because she has trained herself to feel for their specific auras hmmm??

anyway. since stsg are ‘dating’, she does try very hard to suppress anything romantic she tends to feel, and WILL convince herself that lITERALLY anything they try on her is STRICTLY PLATONIC bcs she just can’t believe these 2 will ever like her in THAT manner yk

and shoko? shoko is single. shoko is pretty. shoko is flirting with her. but since stsg treat her LIKE THAT, she thinks this is what happens when you’re getting close to others right?

she likes it a lot. she hopes they continue to stay close to her. (LMAO DENSE ASF)

tbh i didn’t intend for shoko to be so involved with mc. i wrote it that way bcs i had an equally huge crush on her and it just integrated itself naturally into my writing LOL

also, the smut threesome fics were all practice fics lolllll. i’ve never written threesomes in my life and they were my first cracks at it

something special for getting all the way here bcs im just rambling haha. i’m trying to get ppl to interact with me i’m so sad and lonely writing all by myself

in the bully! satosugu au

gojo and mc were actually childhood friends! imagine that. growing up in the neighbourhood with that spoilt, but kind little white-haired brat but him moving away soon after

only to see him again when you’re way, way older!and that other black-haired guy that he seems to be super close with. you’re gonna be friends again, right?

and he’s never been so excited to see you! he’s so much taller now and his arms are so strong, so different from the weak chubby flab of the child him that you thought was adorable, so you’d always ask your mom for extra snacks to eat together!

but now he’s literally picking you up, your feet barely touching the ground as he holds you so so so tightly, as if afraid you’d disappear

it’s nice catching up with him, sitting with him and a close friend of his, geto suguru at lunch, following them to the convenience store after school to get a quick snack

only for him to ignore you the next week when you bound up to him smiling, greeting him with excited cheer. he quirks a brow at you, shoving you out of the way before walking away…

what… did you do wrong? what’s wrong with him?

[disruptivevoib]

I am very silly about the Eleutheromania and Lacuna AUs, I don't really have any specific questions but feel free to rant about either of those AUs :3

Eleutheromania is my so very beloved AU.

And I could say so much but. I have this ramble about Eleuthero!Whole, aka Clio. And loosely also Calliope, Eleuthero!Soul.

-- So thats under the cut!

So, I do often think abt trying to add more distinction between Clio in co-existence and Clio in fully formed Whole. Which are both things as of yet to be seen in the fanfic writing. But it will be seen, and thusly needs to be considered.

I know Clio in co-existence was very very apathetic.

He, universally, maintains that he is a loathsome person and pretends to accept this with a boastful ego but. He does absolutely hate himself.

So, I think that co-existence Clio is the more raw or realistic one.

When the self-aware loathing of Soul, the overwhelming seeping and creeping of emotion of Heart, and the harsh brutalist truth or moral/societal pressures of logic are all stripped away you ARE just indeed left with this thing writhing in misery because it cannot even really stand the idea of being where it is, being itself.

So, co-existing Clio accepts everything /he/ essentially does to himself because its what he believes he deserves. And on the vice-versa end, a fully formed Clio perpetuates the cycle because he also still believes its what /he/ deserves just.. backwards.

Where Callie has never inherently believed he deserved the treatment Whole gave him, Clio has only ever thought it was just that at least some part of himself be tyrannical over the other. Even in switching up because he was fully formed once more.

The distinction there is that he HAS all that loathing and self vitriol in him again alongside the misery of it.

On both ends he still puts up this face, and he still accepts the deserving nature of it all, but flips it into.. sort of.

"If I deserve it, and I am me, and they are me, they deserve it too."

A nonsensical and delusional mentality that at the end of the day, no matter where he is, he deserves to be, in some form, whether deeply subconsciously or right there at the surface level of basic thought, miserable.

Which likely stems from just. Who Clio is or became as a person. I do not think he has that many friends, and the ones he did have, obviously didn't notice he changed when Soul took over because by the time Calliope did so, he was already just *that* similar to Whole if only different in that he did not accept their sameness and delusionally denied the fact that he had become "himself" in a way by perpetuating the narrative that Mind and Heart are not people and that Whole is deserving of all the horrible things. Though he saw it as just because Whole did it first, regardless, they were both harming themselves.

I do think Clio likely did make songs still, and he threw himself into them for a time but idk if he ever actually did post them.

The inital concept was that, he did and such but.. ah. The evolution of the character and the disconnection I feel between him, or all of them as characters from source material or CJ as the artist, ahh blah blah. He never posts music he writes, or continues it.

He does enjoy creating, he just struggles to find a footing in believing anything he does is worthwhile- or even furthermore, that if he deserves to be miserable and self-sabotages so much... why would he ever properly pursue something that could make him happy when he is undeserving of that.

Which also side-ish note is yeah! Eleuthero aside from base root concept to me is pretty disjointed from the canon of CCCC. The AU is highly self indulgent and more an exploration of someone who struggles to even attach personhood to themself in a solid way, etc etc.

[ghoooooooooooooooost]

my review of death mark 2 after playing it again in english this time: kinda weird that michiho never says anything n that the last fight is just an hour long sex scene between yashiki, mashita n daimon huh. pretty solid horror game tho 👍

(real thoughts under readmore; spoilers mentioned)

jokes aside i still stand by calling the game 'the roughest' bc it really is imo

i've seen a few ppl go to bat for the plot but me n a lot of my friends agree that it just wasn't as strong. everything abt michiho n hime's writing + the writing surrounding them in general pissed me tf off which didn't help. teacher-student situations are back but unlike in the first game, it's students aggressively pursuing teachers... uncomfortable! the scissors chapter did handle it a bit better than i expected (esp since the teacher turned her down) so i did get emotional at the end of it but circling back to michiho's behavior after that is so UUUUUUUGH. n the writers never let yashiki firmly tell them to stop it sucks so much. don't get me started abt the fanservice cgs i'll blow everything up. why'd they make it woooorse

the girls should've just been silly rude teenagers. i don't think they should've been the departed at all *points at my au*

however! the writing for returning characters is super good. they're what makes the game worth it in all honesty, it's so nice to see all these comrades yashiki made in the first game trying to help n protect him. plus the fun stuff where they're cutting each other's hair n front of a ghost n meowing at rocks n shit. it kinda makes me wish death mark 2 was just.... death mark..... the sequel.... as in a direct continuation of dm1's plot w mary?

art wise i like the ghosts but they're not as unnerving as the prev games. also yashiki doesn't look as old n tired booo - he's beautiful to me either way but still

i notice some people have a hard time figuring out if they're doing the right thing or not n it makes them frustrated. the fact that there's so many unavoidable casualties this time definitely adds to that

side note: it's cool that the first thing you see when you start a new game is a flash of the bad end cg. scary

final verdict: personally i think it's mid. this will not stop me from drawing a bunch of fanart where i completely make things up xoxo

[taizi]

i’ve reread “gently in a cold dark earth” like dozens of times now… it’s so good i love it so much. i’ve been following your writing since Natsume (2017 ? 18?) and seeing you get into SVSSS (hyper fixation of the last two years) is AMAZING. i love your writing style and this feels like the universe giving me a gift, i am cradling this fic to my chest and rereading it every other day. thank you so much for this. i love shixiong Shen Yuan AUs and would love to see this continued but also just know that you have an eager audience for all SVSSS work you put out… thank you so much… thank you…

🤝 hyperfixation of the last six months and going strong

i’m so happy to hear you enjoyed my first little foray into scum villain nation, it’s always a little nerve wracking writing for a new fandom but i have SO many thoughts and feelings abt svsss in general and bingqiu in particular, you have definitely not seen the last of me ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ

thank you so much ❣️❣️

[danphantom]

oh hey i wanna talk abt smth thats been on my mind both lately and on and off for a while in general. sorry this ended up being a hella long post lol. but i have a lot to say

so...for context, ive been in the phandom for 10 years--since 2014--though it has admittedly been on and off in terms of engagement from me. in 2017 i got into dragon ball and all but dropped danny phantom completely with a few small drawings here and there. it was only like..within the past week that i actually got back into the phandom legitimately again, actively making art and posts about it and engaging with the source material and etc

anyway, i was obsessed with dp from 2014-late 2017 (until i got into dbz). i made lots and lots of fanart, played the gba games like all the damn time (i got to where i could speedrun tue lol), rewatched the show regularly...i was even one of those fans that bought obscure merch and learned useless trivia that ive since forgotten. in 2015 a lot of you may remember that i made @doppelgangercomic, a comic about an au i had where dan got a redemption arc (albeit a bumpy one) and future vlad was there and stuff happened (go read the comic LOL). it got a LOT of love and traction! it made me really happy to see all the positivity around my work like that :) i actually got a lot of positive responses towards my work in general. i had a really great time in the phandom back then

then i changed fandoms and kinda fell out of the phandom space. after being on a hiatus from the phandom until literally a week ago, i honestly have to say ive felt like i kind of...faded into obscurity in the phandom's eyes? basically i feel like old news. people dont generally know what doppelganger is now. they may have seen my art in passing here and there but they dont know who i am anymore. i think the only place people actively still find my old danny phantom art from when i was heavily active is...deviantart lol. i get notifications from favorites literally every day there. but uh anyway--im not saying this to garner pity or tell a sob story or anything! im just expressing some thoughts and feelings ive had for a long time lol.

the reason i bring this ^ up though, is because like...i know its not true? logically, i know that i DID make an impact in the fandom i loved/love so so much. i left my mark on both the fandom in an artistic sense, and also the people in the fandom, and sometimes i forget that because i get significantly less engagement on my posts than i used to. but i know that doesnt mean that people dont like my stuff anymore, or that ive been forgotten.

i actually got a message from someone today--a friend i made kinda recently who approached me bc they liked doppelganger actually. they told me that basically its surreal to them that theyre talking to me as a friend because they remember reading doppelganger when they were younger and looking up to me because of it. and it really reminded me of what i said previously--ive not been forgotten, and people still do appreciate and love what ive put out into the world (specifically about danny phantom in this case). ive made an impact on people's lives even when i dont realize it or see it physically. the message and sentiment made me feel really really good and nice and happy and honestly relieved, because the phandom and danny phantom as a media has been an extremely important and impactful part of my life ever since i got into it ten years ago. i literally changed my name to dan because of it lol. it was the reason i found stephen silver's work and went down that path of my art journey. its the reason i found so many amazing people and friends and artists and continue to do that even now. i owe a lot to danny phantom and the phandom as a whole, and i try to give back in the only ways i know how--mainly thru showing my passion through my art and posts.

anyway erm. yeah. all of this to say i wanted to thank yall--the phandom--for supporting me all this time, whether youve been with me from the beginning or if youre just joining me recently. youve been an absolute delight in my life and i know youll continue to be for a long time. :)

[ajkesiah]

• high five? •

Five Hargreeves x fem!reader

[Soulmate au]

This is a soulmate au so five is the same age as reader, they're both 18. Also, this is a modern au so five was never in the apocalypse or involved in the Umbrella Academy. This story is prob gonna be rlly cringe 😭 and out of character five, but wtv. "Y/f/n" means y/n's friends name, "f/f" means favorite food, italicized words are the characters thoughts, italic words with quotation marks around them are the writing on the wrist yk, the soulmate thing. "s/n" means soulmates name bc idk what name to choose lol. btw I didn't edit all this so there might be some mistakes scattered around in the story.

Y/n's pov:

The school bell rang as everyone stormed out of their classes into the hallways to go home. Y/f/n's, my friend and I were talking while walking out of school, "anyway, have you heard from your soulmate yet?" they asked. "Umm no, sadly. I don't even think I have one bc they've never tried talking to me," I said disappointedly. "Aww man, that sucks but hopefully you hear from them soon! My soulmate and I had a conversation during class!!" "Wow that's nice what'd he say?" I asked. "He said hi and we talked abt ourselves, his name is s/n and he lives near me!" "Woah, he does?!" "Yeah!!"

We continued talking abt other stuff and I tried to act happy and it worked, but on the inside I was so jealous. I've tried over and over again to talk to my soulmate but no answer. I kinda gave up on it since there's no point if my soulmate ignores me. Or they're dead.... Anyway, I hope they're not but idk, I'll see in the future.

[Timeskip]

Y/f/n and I parted ways and I walked to my house and opened the door. "Mom, I'm home!" I yelled as I opened the door and took off my shoes. "Hey y/n, how was school? Oh by the way, your sister is at her friend's house." "Oh okay, but school was good, whatcha making?" I said as I walked up to her cooking. "F/f! " "Nice, I'm gonna go to my room" I hugged my mom and walked to my room and plopped down on my bed with a heavy sigh. When am I ever gonna meet my soulmate?

I looked as my wrist and.. WHA-

WTF I SAW SOMETHING ON MY WRIST

It says the word five, huh.....

wtf does that mean? WHAT DO I SAY???

I quickly ran over to my desk to grab a pen and replied back "hey!! what does five mean??" I wrote it as fast as I could. "My name is five." my soulmate responded back, ohhh, that's his name I'm so embarrassing 😭 "ohh okay, well hi!! I'm y/n and I'm 18, what about you?" "I'm 18 too actually" "You are?! Great!"

We introduced ourselves and talked a bunch but was interrupted since dinner is ready.

"Y/n!! Dinners ready!" My mom yelled from the kitchen. "Okay, I'll be there in a sec!" I yelled back and wrote to five, "hold on, I gotta go eat dinner so I'll be right back" "okay, see you" "cya later! :D" I added a smiley face. I walked down to the dinner table to my parents. "Hey y/n! How was school?" My dad asked bc he got home from work later. "Hey dad! It was good" "Great, did you meet your soulmate yet?" My dad asked. I told my parents that my soulmate hasn't said anything at all yet a bunch of times in the past. "Actually, my soulmate and I were just talking after I got home!" "Wow, you were? What's his name?" My mom asked me. "His name is five, but I think it's cool" "Do you know where he lives and how old he is?" My parents asked, "he's the same age as me but we didn't get into that topic yet"

After bombarding me with questions we changed the topic to something else while eating dinner. When dinner was done I went back to my room to talk to five, I grabbed my pen and sat down on my bed and got comfortable. "hi five! I'm back" I wrote. "hey y/n, how was dinner?" "It was good! We had f/f, have you ever tried it?" "I've tried that a couple times, it's good" "I know right! What were you up to while I was gone?" "I was just talking to my siblings" what are they talking abt? Me?? I mean, I know I'm amazing but- "ohh how many sibling do you have?" I wrote down,"I have 6 siblings.." "really?? 6?! Wow I only have 1 sister."...

[Timeskip]

It's 1 am now and we're still talking... wow BUT WAIT I HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW well today but IT STARTS IN 7 HOURS (or whatever time your school starts) " waitt I'm so sorry but I have to go to bed now because I have school in the morning :(" "yeah me too, we'll talk later?" "Of course! well goodnight now <3" I added a heart with my sentence. "Goodnight aswell"

I put my pen down on my bedside table and did my night routine and got comfy in my bed. OMG Y/N WHY DID YOU PUT A HEART THERE THAT'S SO EMBARRASSINGGG HE DIDNT EVEN SEND ONE BACK OR ANYTHING I sighed and turned to my side and stared at my wrist for awhile. I zoned out so I cleared my vision and looked at my wrist again til I saw a heart from five. I smiled to myself. I buried my head in my pillow and kicked my feet back and forth.

I woke up to my alarm and turned it off. I walked to the bathroom and took a quick shower. I got out and took some nice clothes from my drawer to wear.

(either one of these or it can be a different outfit that you want)

I brushed my hair and packed my bag. I went downstairs to eat breakfast. "Hey hun, how did you sleep?" my mom asked. "I slept fine" I said while eating blueberry pancakes, "these are good, mom" "thanks, anyway it's almost time for you to leave, you brushed your teeth yet? "No, I will though." After stuffing my mouth with pancakes I brushed my teeth and added some jewelry. I rushed downstairs and grabbed my water bottle from my mom. "Okay bye mom, love you" "love you too, have a good day at school y/n"

As I was walking to school I plugged my headphones in and went on Spotify and played some music. The whole walk to school is about 10 minutes or so, after 5 minutes I saw my best friend, y/f/n so took out my headphones and tiptoed behind them to try and scare them "Boo!!" I yelled as I shook their shoulders. "You didn't scare me but hey!" Y/f/n turned around and walked beside me. "Mhm you flinching says otherwise" I said. "I did not flinch!" They playfully smacked my arm. "You sure did".

After talking we arived at school and we both went to our lockers which were near each others. "Oh right, y/n, did you hear that there's gonna be a new student in our grade?" Y/f/n told me, "No, what's his name?" "I heard some people saying his name is five or something? Idk though," y/f/n said.

WHAT..

.....

...

"wait his name is five??" I asked as we were putting our stuff in our lockers and walking to our classes. "yeah, do you know him or something?" "YES HES MY SOULMATE.." I whisper-yelled. "WHAT??? NO WAYYY, he is?!?!" Y/f/n whisper-yelled back. I nodded my head, "wow well good luck!! I gotta go byee" "uh-huh... see ya later!" Y/f/n had to go since they had different classes, and we only have 2 classes together :( but I mean at least we have classes together instead of none. I walked into my 1st hour and sat at my seat. There were only some people here, I guess im early. Soon later the class was filled with everyone except there was an empty seat next to me, someone must be absent. I didn't really care though, The teacher walked to the front of the classroom, "Okay everyone please take your seats. We have a new student coming into class today, please come in." The whole class started whispering about him, "do you think they're a boy?", "is he cute?", "Are they a boy or a girl??"... WAIT A MINUTE... IS IT FIVE?? The teacher motioned to the mysterious person standing outside the door to come in. The boy walked in front of the classroom near the teacher. He wore a school boy outfit, like at those private schools, he is cute though. "Please introduce yourself to the class." The teacher asked. "Hey, My name is five and I'm 18." Five said. WAIT WTF THAT'S HIM?!?! MY SOULMATE FIVE?? okay wait wait wait calm down he COULD be a different person that's named five but it's not common to be named five??- "Okay, your seat is next to y/n, y/n please raise your hand." The teacher and five looked at me as I raised my hand. Five's eyes widened for a second then went back to normal. IS HE REALLY MY SOULMATE OMG???- "Oh wait y/n, could you show five around the school?" "Sure" I said while nodding my head and stood up from my seat and walked towards five. "Follow me" I told five as we both walked out of the classroom. And let me tell you, it was so awkward.. 😭

Fives pov:

I sighed as walked into this schools office to get my stuff for my classes. My siblings dared me that if my soulmate and I ever talked then I would have to go to school to try and find them if I could. And well here I am at this boring old school. My teacher for my 1st hour walked up to me and told me to follow them for my class. The teacher told me to wait outside the classroom before coming in. "Okay everyone please take your seats. We have a new student coming into class today, please come in." The teacher motioned me to come in. I walked up to the front of the classroom as looked at everyone in the class and heard whispering about me. "Please introduce yourself to the class." "Hey, My name is five and I'm 18." I didnt wanna say anything about myself to these people, I didn't wanna be here. "Okay, your seat is next to y/n, y/n please raise your hand." wait y/n? like my soulmate y/n?... Y/n raised her hand and I was about to walk over to her until the teacher said something, "Oh wait y/n, could you show five around the school?" "Sure" y/n nodded her head as she stood up from her seat and walked towards me, "Follow me" she said. Wow..

Back to y/n's pov:

As we walked out of the classroom we were walking to the cafeteria. "So five huh?" I said to the boy. "mhm?" GREAT IDK WHAT TO SAY "you're my soulmate?" I asked, "i guess, show me your wrist" five said. I rolled up my sleeve and showed him the heart on my arm. He looked at my wrist and smiled "Yep" said as he looked back up at me. OMG HIS DIMPLES okay y/n stop.. As I was about to put my arm away he grabbed my hand and DAYUMMM HIS HANDS WERE SOFT ASF- "So where are we going to first?" He asked while looking around then at me. OH MY GOD "umm- let's go to the cafeteria"

[Time skip]

After showing five around the whole school and talking, school was almost over so we decided to go to the bleachers and sit underneath them.

"So what made you come to this school?" I asked as I twirled a flower around my fingers. "My siblings and I were talking and they dared me that if I ever talked to my soulmate I would have to go to school and try and find them." Five said. Ohh maybe that was what him and his siblings were talking about yesterday. "Oh okayy, well you found me" I chuckled," "mhm.." He looked at me then my lips, UMM- "your blushing" he laughed. "I am not!.." I looked away from him, "You so are" He gingerly grabbed my chin and moved my head to look at him, his face leaning closer and closer to mine as I admired his face features, his dark green eyes looked like stars to me as they looked into mine. Oh god my face is probably a million times redder then earlierrr "Your face is really really red" He chuckled as he pulled away from me. "Hey don't tease me!" I playfully smacked his shoulder, and crossed my arms. "Fine," he said as he grabbed the sides of my face and I felt a pair of lips on mine. MY EYES WENT WIDE OPEN, WIDER THAN THIS PU- (sorry) He pulled his hands away and set them on my waiste as I wrapped my arms around his neck. After awhile the bell rang which interrupted our kiss. We both pulled away and were out of breath. We looked into eachothers eyes, "damn" I accidentally said out loud "damn what?" He asked, "oh wait- uh-" FUCK I MEANT TO SAY THAT IN MY HEAD he smirked as he kissed me again. After making out 😘✌️ I gave him a quick kiss before pulling away and standing up. "umm well school is over we should go" "yeah" he replied while I pulled my hand out for him to grab which he grabbed back. (old ass man) He both walked into school and to our lockers hand in hand and grabbed our stuff out and walked out of school. "Well we didn't have to do any work!" I exclaimed. "Mhm" he smiled. "By the way, which neighborhood do you live in?" I asked, "I think I live in yours, I actually saw you walking to school in the morning" "OH MY GOD REALLY??!?!?" "Yep, I guess it's fate." he smirked, "yeah it really is.."

We arived in our neighborhood and surprisingly his house was just a couple blocks away from mine. We stopped outside his house, "bye five!" I said. "Bye y/n, see you tomorrow" "high five?" I said as I raised my hand for a high five. "Oh my god," five rolled his eyes. "I'm kidding" we both laughed, "well bye see you tomorrow!" I said as I hugged him and kissed his cheek. "bye y/n" five hugged back, as we were hugging I slid a piece of paper that had my number on it into his pocket. I ran backwards while yelling "bye!!" I waved at him while he waved back as he was walking into his house.

I walked over to mine and got out my keys to unlock the door as I opened it. I walked into my house as I set my bag down on the floor and took of my shoes. "Mom, I'm home!" I yelled for my mom. "hey hun, you're home a little late" oh... "yeah im gonna go to my room, love you" "love you too.." I quickly rushed to my room. WTF WAS THAT Y/N SHE KNOWS SOMETHING'S UP SHE WASNT BORN YESTERDAY I took a quick shower and changed into my pajamas with a shirtwrapped around my hair.

I grabbed my computer and my homework and my pencil case. I was grabbing a pencil out of my pencil case buttt I put the pencil back and grabbed a pen instead and decided to write to five. "hey five! Whatcha doin??" I wrote down. A minute passed so I decided to do some work while waiting. *Knock knock* "come in!" I spoke, the door opened as my dad told me, "hey y/n, your mom and I are going to a party right now, we'll probably be back late or spend the night." "Oh okay dad, see you later" "see ya hun, love you" "love you too, dad" I replied while my dad walked out and closed the door. After a couple minutes, I looked down at my wrist again and saw a new set words written in ink on my arm. "hey y/n, I was just making some food for myself, you?" he replied back, "I was doing my homework, what food are you eating??" I asked, "bread with peanut butter and marshmallows" "marshmallows? Is it good?" I asked. Never heard of that combination before.. "Yeah it is, it tastes better than it sounds though" "hmm I wanna try it now!" "You should" "okay I will, I'll let you know if I like it after," "okay" five replied back.

I set my stuff aside and opened my door and walked to the kitchen. I got out some bread, a plate, and peanut butter along with the marshmallows. I opened the drawer and got out a butter knife, then I opened up the peanut butter jar and spread it out on the bread and put the marshmallows on it. I walked over to the dinner table and sat down as I took a bite out of the sandwich. I swallowed the odd sandwich and surprisingly it was pretty good, although I'm not a huge fan of peanut butter it was still good.

(sorry if you do like peanut butter)

After gobbling down the food, I washed the plate and put them in the dishwasher then dried my hands with a towel. I waddled back to my room and lay down on my bed then grabbed my pen and and wrote to five. "Wow" I wrote down."Is it good?" Five asked. "Yeah!! that was actually super good!!" "I'm glad you like it :)" Five wrote down with a smiley face.

After chatting for awhile it was getting late so I told five I'll be doing my night routine. After doing all that, I got everything off my bed and got comfy under my blankets and grabbed my pen."okay five I'm back!" I wrote to five. "Welcome back y/n, by the way, you know you have my number so you can just text me on there" he said, "oh rightttt I totally forgot, sorry." I face palmed myself. "You're good, no need to worry" "oh okay well I'll check my phone right now." "okay, take your time" He wrote back as I got my phone out and went to my contacts and added him back. I changed his contact name to "high five 😋"

high five 😋:

hey y/n

Y/n:

hi five!! (get it, high five?)

high five 😋:

oh my god y/n stop

Y/n:

fine fine, I'll stop, but just

this once 😘

high five 😋:

well since it's Saturday tomorrow, wanna go out somewhere?

Y/n:

Sure! Where to?

high five 😋:

it's a secret ;) but I'll pick you up at 5:30, that okay?

Y/n:

Aww okay, but yeah

of course that's okay!

high five 😋:

well, it's getting late now, goodnight y/n <3

Y/n:

Yeah it is, goodnight now five, I'm looking forward to seeing you tomorrow <3

high five 😘:

mhm, me too, see you later y/n

Y/n:

cya later five, goodnight :)

I set my phone down and turned to my side and drifted off to sleep...

PART 2?!?! I'll try to make much more parts to this if I can. I'll figure it out somehow. This took my so long to write 😭 like a week? Wow. But lmk if you guys want any more parts.

[bottombatch]

Fanfic Writer Questions

thanks for the tag @optiwashere!

If you're reading this, consider yourself tagged! But here is one more for the road: @collegeoflore

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Apparently I have 20? That's news to me lol. I would have guessed like 10 to 12. I've used this AO3 account for a while, I guess.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

62,119 words, according to the statistics.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently, only Baldur's Gate 3. Before that I was writing lightcanon for League of Legends.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. And They Were Roommates

2. To Muzzle a Gith

3. Misfit and Nomad

4. I Thought About You

5. Workouts in a Winter Hellscape

Damn. Some of these are callbacks.. Not too surprised, though. These either have popular ships or popular fandoms. LoL lightcanon in 1, 3, and 4 make sense to me, even if I'm embarrassed by the writing in them. Continually shocked by To Muzzle a Gith. I guess Shadowzel is that popular? I don't know. I have so little desire to write for them again and the writing in it makes me cringe, tbh. Same with #5 LMAO. You couldn't pay me enough to reread the fics I wrote in highschool.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, always! Well. If someone comments on something really old I might not? But only because im scared they'll ask me to update it lmao. But in general, yes! I love talking and hearing what people liked!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

If I'm including the 20 QOTD Challenge fic (and i am because this is my post), I'd have to give it to Nerves, ch19 of that challenge. I mean, its a flashback scene about killing a childhood friend (and maybe lover) for a crumb of an uncaring goddess' attention.

It's pretty much the only piece of angst I've written that doesn't have some overtone of hope to it. I'm hoping to work it into my act 1 rewrite because I like it so much.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

To me, its Savoring Seconds from the challenge. It's bittersweet but after everything those two have been through... It's the happiest I can envision them ever being. Maybe that's just my bias tho :P

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No? Do most people get hate on fics? I haven't had anything of the sort. Hard to imagine what that would even be like..

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, I do. Outside of To Muzzle a Gith, I think I write pretty tame stuff? More emotional than anything.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

A Common Song was really the only crossover, but even then.. it was really just a League of Legends fic with a cyberpunk2077 au. It had some good ideas tho.. maybe I'll return to it some day.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I've noticed?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really. I've helped with brainstorming before but that's really all.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

This.. is tough. I change fandoms too often for something like this 😭 If I had to pick a bg3 ship... Laz/Karlach. Is it cheating to say my OC ship? Probably. But fuck you, its MY post. I've cried multiple times on the bus just thinking about these two, no one else had quite the strangle hold on me. (I was thinking abt Karlach's funeral btw).

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

A Common Song. I was cooking on some of those ideas but I was FAR too ambitious lmao

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm... Not totally sure, to be honest. Its hard to read your own stuff and see what's uniquely strong. If you have any thoughts, please let me know!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I don't think my writing has much rhythm to it. I'd like to work on that. Also my grammar is shoddy at best. English classes were always my lowest grades :,)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

For fantasy languages I think it's fun! It can add a lot of depth and creates a lot of insight to a characters culture. Dabbling with Drowic for example was a lot of fun.

But like, a real language? Naw. I don't know any other languages so unless it was a phrase I knew a character said in canon.. I wouldn't want to risk a shoddy google translate.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Uh. It was either Invader Zim, Mass Effect, or SAO? I'm not totally sure. This would have predated AO3, when I was in middle school or something. I've tried to find those fics but I think they're genuinely lost.

Probably for the best lol.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Currently, it is Snowfall. Once I post it, I think it'll be the act 1 rewrite.

[kazemiya]

Hi! I love your writing so so much hehe🥰🥰🥰

Can I request for a mermaid!Nagisa and fisher!reader? I had this huge brain rot during lunch abt Nagisa as a mermaid and my mind won’t stop thinking about it🫠

P.S. can I be known as 🌈 anon hehehe

★彡 mermaid!Nagisa and fisher!reader

a/n: OMG UR REQUEST it’s so creative!! Thanks for saying u like my writing! Also I feel like this was so bad after reading this like this is my first au (?) fic so i have no idea how good this will turn out but this request is rlly rlly cool. Also ofc u can be 🌈 anon!

Nagisa rests his arms and head on the rock facing the bustling village. Observing the many merchants carry large boxes of produce to sell. However, the main reason why he was there was to see a certain human, more specifically a fisher, he was ever curious to know more about them.

Today was special, he was going to finally get to know more about this fisher. So, at the crack of dawn, Nagisa swam to the shallow waters near the shore.

Upon your arrival, he stuck his head slightly out of the water, mumbling a little hello.

“HUH??” you shriek, taking a double take. A man in the water? Looking closer, you saw the shimmering tail that flapped slowly in the water. So a merman…

Noticing your alarm, he raised one of his arms and attempted to explain himself. “You see, I recently came to the surface of the water to observe human behaviours. And you seem approachable (and rlly pretty)”.

Slightly calming down after hearing his explanation, you asked “what’s your name? What do you want to know, I’ll try my best to answer” sitting down on one of rocks along the shoreline.

Nagisa thought hard for a conversation topic, playing with the ends of his long, silvery hair. Finally, he answered “my name is Nagisa Ran, and you can start by telling me… what do humans do at that village over there?” He was pointing at the crowds of people amongst the many stalls.

“Oh! That’s the wet market, many people go there to buy food and today is Sunday, so it’s especially busy today!” Trying your best to explain. Now you were curious, who was this merman, you didn’t even know they existed until today!

You asked him about himself and he replied “oh there isn’t much to know, in fact its quite boring down there in the ocean. The only thing interesting is hearing the silly squabbles between my friends.”

Giggling, you continued to ask more questions and vice versa. The conversation continued on, nevermind that it wasn’t on the topic of mermaids or humans, until you heard the incoming footsteps from the village. Other fishers were coming!

You quickly ended the conversation and whispered in his ear “until tomorrow, I’ll meet you here, same timing”.

He nodded and swiftly ducked down back under the surface of the water. On the way down deeper into the sea, he anticipated the next meeting, not even noticing the light dust of pink on his cheeks. Who knows why he left the surface knowing more about you than humans in general.

Everyday, he returns with small little trinkets. Usually a little sea shell, shimmering with it magnificent colours or a rock that he found at the bottom of the ocean.

You bring him little snacks from the wet market! ��So you’re telling me that this packet of seaweed biscuits is the same as this slimy, wet thing?” “Yup!”

He talks about his friends a lot. U practically know everything about them, without having to meet them. About the a green haired, bright and social Hiyori, the ever polite Jun and the incredibly sly Ibara. Little do you know, he talks a lot about you to them too!

Please get this man a comb. The first time you wanted to comb his hair, he gave you a literal fork that was thrown into the ocean. Or if you prefer you could just use your fingers?

Soon the questions that he asks you start to morph into “do you think my tail looks good today?” “Do you like anyone from the village?” It’s quite obvious he caught a crush.

“ would you be opposed to loving someone? Like romantically?” He asks out of the blue. You shake your head at his question.

Hesitating slightly, “how about me?” To be honest, you were stumped when he asked that question. You both knew a long time ago, that this need to have a daily talk could no longer hide under the guise of “curiosity to know about human behaviours”.

Plastering a kiss on his wet forehead, you muttered, “I’m not opposed to it. But for now, I’ll come daily to see you and I hope you will too!”