#i could break down that one quote for a good half hour

[drieddpetals]

i've already yelled about this once on this site but i genuinely love wylan's line of "maybe you should pray to Ghezen for understanding, father" at the end of soc so much like. i don't think y'all understand. the sass wylan gives him is very important to his character and development but also just so hilarious to me. idk if it's bc i can relate to the religious sarcasm or what but i genuinely think about it a lot and for some reason feel the need to point it out again

[flysafepapi]

the sin factor 11/?

masterlist

Warnings: None for this one, I don’t think. Maybe a bit of past abuse towards the end, but it’s not graphic or really expanded on.

Summary: It’s in the eyes, too, the same ambition and clawing desperation to be more, get more, hidden behind a carefully blank stare. He also knows that Duke has something Tommy never had although it’s more likely that it’s the other way around, because Tommy has lines that he won’t cross for reasons that are his own. Duke has no such reservations.

tagging: @zablife​​​​ @the-makingsofgreatness​​​​ @peakyrogers​​​​ @hb-writes​​​ @caelys​ (let me know if you want to be added on or taken off)

He forgets, sometimes, that Duke can hide the darker parts of himself as if they never existed. Maybe it’s because he rarely needs to when it’s just the two of them, and it’s been just the two of them for the past two weeks while he recovered from the sickness that got him after the cold water they should have stayed away from. If Isiah didn’t know better he might’ve thought this man was the real one. The one who smiled at his father and handed over a bottle of stolen wine even though Isiah is going to be the only one that drinks any of it and walked into the old house like he didn’t spend the drive over almost sick with nerves. 

“Come in, sit down. The chicken will be done soon. I hope that’s alright, I’m afraid I don’t know how to cook much else. One of the few things Louise ever managed to teach me before she passed, I could’ve burned water if she hadn’t taken pity on me.”

Duke nods, still smiling, and files the information away to think about later. Isiah has never talked much about his mother, though he can’t really fault him for that. He doesn’t like talking about his mother either so he hasn’t pushed for any details. There’s a part of him that feels a sting of envy, just for a second. Even when his mother was alive, they weren’t close, and he never had anything even approaching the easy affection he sees between them. Once, he would’ve given anything to have a father that actually gave a fuck about him, but the time had passed and gone years ago. 

“You want anything to drink?”

“I’ll have the wine.”

“Just water for me, thank you.”

The smile becomes a little more real when he sees the look Jeremiah gives Isiah, teasing more than anything, as he says “About time you found a friend that had their head on right, might teach you not to drink so much. Maybe he can teach you some manners while he’s at it.”

Isiah leans over to him once his father leaves the room, taps him on the wrist twice, silently telling him to relax. “You look like you’re being sent to your death.”

“If he doesn’t like me, I just might be.”

“What?”

Mercifully, the door opening again saves him from having to explain, even though he knows he’s going to have to explain that later. The look Isiah gives him says as much but, for now, he lets it go. 

“Haven’t seen you around at the church. Something better you had to do?”

The question isn’t directed at him, and he looks over at Isiah to watch him try to lie his way out of the question. It shouldn’t surprise him, but it does, when Isiah shrugs and tells the truth, that he’s had things to do and hasn’t gotten around to it. What is it like, to know you can tell the truth to family and have them still stick around? Duke wouldn’t know but he wants to, the sudden want sharp and hot inside his chest. It’s been a long time since he’s let himself think about it, even longer since he did anything to act on it. For years, before his own mother passed, he’d asked her all the questions about his father that he could think of. Where he came from, where they met, what he looked like, what his name was. Back then, he had done everything he could to find the man, but everything he tried ended in nothing, and so he’d stopped trying. It’s irrational to feel envious of Isiah, he knows that. It doesn’t soothe the sting or make it go away. Fortunately, he’s gotten good at hiding everything he doesn’t want anyone to know. 

“I can’t imagine you at a church. Sure you wouldn’t burst into flames as soon as you walked through the door?”

“I’ll have you know I was the perfect altar boy as a kid, thank you. Never even stole the communion wine once.”

“Liar. Pastor caught him once, dragged him all the way home by his ear,” Jeremiah says, looking at Duke from across the table, smiling at the memory, “Would’ve gotten away with it, only he tripped and smashed the bottle all over the middle of the aisle between the pews.”

“You didn’t.”

Isiah sniffs, looking away from the both of them. “The carpet had a wrinkle in it, it wasn’t my fault.”

It feels good to laugh, to sit back and slowly clear the plate in front of him as he listens to them talk. It’s nothing like the few dinners he’s had with his own father, those have been awkward and borderline painful. Although he doesn’t contribute much to the conversation, aside from quick little answers and nods and smiles in the right places, he’s content enough to sit and listen. At least for the short time it lasts until Jeremiah asks him if he’s ever been religious.

“Not really, no. My mother took me to church a few times, but I don’t really believe. She didn’t like that much. I tried to impress her, once, by reading the bible back to back, until I could recite most of it from memory, but I could’ve told her I was the second coming of Jesus himself and it still wouldn’t have been enough for her.”

“I tried the same thing, but it was mostly because I was grounded after the wine incident and it was the only book I was allowed to read. Had a whole list of favourites and everything but I’m pretty sure that’s a result of some weird Stockholm Syndrome.”

“Do you have any favourites? From when you were younger, I mean.”

He shouldn’t’ve said it. In the few seconds before the words left his mouth, he knew it wasn’t going to go over well. Isiah would laugh, he knows, but it’d make whatever progress he’d made with Jeremiah disappear completely. Too late, he can’t take the words back.

“Revelations 6:17.”

~~~

“I think that went well.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a dinner end so fast. He hates me.”

They have to talk in whispers, because for some reason he doesn’t understand, Isiah had taken his father up on the offer to stay the night, and the walls are thin. He’d rather shoot himself than let anyone else hear about his doubts. It had been awkward enough helping to clear the table after he’d ruined the night.

“He doesn’t hate you. Trust me, you’d know if he did. He just needs a while to come around.”

Isiah watches Duke angrily changing into the clothes Isiah hands him, turning away so his back is turned, and bites down on his tongue to keep himself from saying anything about it. The scars are rough, raised enough that the dim light catches on them and throws shadows up and down his back, crossed over each other like they were deliberately made. He wants to reach out and touch them, but he knows that’ll lead to him getting another black eye. They’ve never talked about what Duke did before Tommy brought him here, not in any detail, but if the marks on his back are any indication, it wasn’t pleasant or fast. 

“Just wait, you’ll see. Give it a week, he’ll go around telling everyone about his brand new son.”

“Can we just go to sleep?”

The bed isn’t big enough for the two of them, still the same narrow thing that he’d grown up with, but they manage well enough after some shuffling around. He’s not going to complain about the lack of space, when it means he gets to wrap an arm over Duke’s middle and pull him back away from the edge until there’s no space left between them.

“Why did you stop going?”

“What?”

“If you wanted to please your mother, you would’ve just kept going to church with her even if you didn’t believe a word they were saying. You stopped going. What happened?”

It feels like he’s holding a plank of wood, for how stiff Duke goes when he asks.

“Nothing.”

“Was it bad?”

“I said it was nothing. Leave it alone.”

For a few minutes, he does, and the two of them lay in the dark without speaking, listening to the floors outside the room creak as his father finishes cleaning up and goes into his own bedroom at the end of the hall.

“You should have said 6:8. That one reminds me of you.”

“What?”

“The bible verse. ‘And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death. And Hell followed with him.’”

[morlao]

Sisterly advice

▪︎Luke Castellan x fem!reader

▪︎daughter of Aphrodite

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

You and Luke have always been close. So close, in fact, that newcomers automatically assumed that you were dating. The surprised look on their faces when the older campers told them you weren´t, was according to your siblings hilarious.

It's evening and you're sitting on your bed, your legs crossed, while Silena is braiding your hair.

Of all your half-siblings she is your favourite one. Loving, gentle and kind. She is the perfect definition of a daughter of Aphrodite, as she embodies everything that comes to your mind when you think about love - and you want others to feel the same way. They should also think of her and not your other siblings with their childish plays and cruel rituals of breaking others hearts. Maybe they themselves don´t understand what it means being the child of love.

Silena´s fingers run gently through your hair, parting it and intertwining the individual strands together.

“So… what about Charlie?”

You don't have to see her face to know that a smile flashes across her lips at his name. “What about him?”

“Did he finally ask you out?”

She laughs, trying to pretend that she finds the idea absurd. “We are just friends.”

You turn around and give her a look that expresses your opinion about it all too clearly. Don´t try to fool me, darling. I see what´s going on between the two of you!

Again, Silena laughs, gently turning your head forward again to finish the braid. “Okay, other topic. What about you and Luke?”

You copy her laugh. “What about us? We´re just friends.”

You could feel her rising her eyebrows. “Let me give you some sisterly advice: Just friends don´t look at each other like that.”

“Who did you quote? That sentence is so cliché!”

She laughs, taking a hair tie from your bedside table and wrapping it around your braid. “Well… maybe it is but it totally fits you and Luke.”

You turn around, giving her a skeptical look.

Silena shrugs and sits down beside you. “I mean… have you seen his smile when he looks at you? Also he constantly finds excuses to touch you. He improves your posture in archery, even though you are at least as good at it as he is. And – “ she looks at you triumphantly, “He gives you a kiss on the cheek every time he greets you or says goodbye.”

You feel your cheeks flush and cross your arms, trying to think of a counter argument. “A lot of people do that.”

“Yeah, but you´re the only one where Luke does that. Haven´t you noticed?”

To be honest: no, you haven´t. But now as you think about it in detail... it is true. When Luke greets one of the other girls, he just smiles at them.

“In addition, he immediately drops everything when he sees you”, Silena adds, “Yesterday he left in the middle of training because he saw you walking by and wanted to talk to you. Or on Friday, he was in the middle of a conversation with Chris and you waved at him. And what did he do? Exactly, he immediately jogged over. Also last week…”

“Enough!” You laugh, trying to make her shut up by covering her mouth.

Silena dodges you, laughing as you reach into the void. "He let you draw hearts on his sneakers! He watches the sunset with you! He bought you a bracelet for your birthday! You know, I could go on with this for hours." She steps closer, cupping your cheeks with her hands. “Believe me, sis: He´s in love with you!” Her voice is melodic, angel like even. Loving, gentle and kind.

You feel the heat rising to your cheeks and embarrassed you pulls away and cover your face with your hands. “I´m pretty sure he isn´t! You´re overinterpreting!”

“Nope, I´m a daughter of Aphrodite, I can feel it!”

“So am I! And I don't feel anything!”

Silena grabs her cherry lipstick. “Your reaction makes me think that you like him too!”

Did you like him? You weren´t sure. Of course he meant the world to you, but did you like him more as than a friend? Wouldn´t that be weird kissing him since you know him for so long?

"I'm not sure", you finally manage to say, rolling off your bed and taking a look at the clock. Fortunately, you can at least put the topic off for today. "Oh, damn! Come on, we are already late!”

Silena grabs your hand and leads you outside of cabin 10. It´s already dark and in the distance you can see the flickering flames of the campfire. Most of the campers seem to have already gathered there, their drink in their hands and a smile on their lips as they talk to their siblings and friends.

“Finally!”, one of the Apollo girls greets you.

Chris Rodriguez grins. “Why are the Aphrodite girls always late?”

That is definitely not true! You're not always late. Just most of the times. God, you hate being a cliché.

Luke lifts his head as he hears his brother say “Aphrodite girls”. He spots you and his face lights up like a Christmas tree. Immediately he walks up to you and hugs you, his lips placing a soft kiss on your cheek.

From the corner of your eye you can see Silena rising an eyebrow, as if to say "Well, what did I say?"

“You look amazing”, Luke whispers in your ear, before breaking away from the hug and greeting Silena with a smile. “Charlie is already waiting for you!”, he grins, nodding towards said boy.

Silena giggles, before walking over to him. Gods, it was so obvious that she was head over heels for him.

Luke takes your hand and leads you over to his place next to Chris, where he had already a blanket spread out for the two of you. “Mylady” He pretends to bow.

You can feel your cheeks blush as you sit down. “Thank you so much, Mister!”

Gods, somehow Luke always manages to put a smile on your face. You sit down and stretch out your legs, feeling the comforting heat of the fire.

As Luke takes a seat next to you, you can feel him slide closer, his arm touching yours. Feeling him beside you was comforting, the closest feeling you had to "home".

Luke Castellan. You tilt your head back and look up at the stars as if you expect to see his name engraved up there. You have always liked his name. Luke Castellan. It feels like a secret incantation on your lips.

You can feel his eyes on you. The flickering flames make his face look almost golden. Golden boy. Why didn´t you notice before how handsome he is?

The next song starts and immediately everyone joins in. They lie in each other's arms and rock back and forth, bawling Country roads.

Well, maybe it was just because Silena had told you, but Luke really seems to find exuses for touching you. He leans against you, his arm around your shoulders - even after the song has already ended. You enjoy feeling him so close next to you. The heat he radiates. His soft skin against yours. The realization hits you straight in the face. You had fallen in love with your best friend.

He looks at you and you can't help but smile. Fascinating how beautiful an evening with a campfire could be. For a moment it feels like gods and monsters didn't exist. For a moment everything seems peaceful.

 “Can I talk to you for a second?” You can feel Luke´s warm breath on your neck as he whispers in your ear.

Your heart skips a beat. Did he notice the way you looked at him? Did he suspect something? Was Silena wrong? “Sure!”

Your voice sounds more enthusiastic than you feel.

Luke takes your hand and leads you away from the campfire, away from the singing and the laughter of the others.

You look at him, smiling nervously. “Sooo… what is it? Or did you just want to escape singing Knocking on heavens door.”

He shakes his head, laughing. “No, why would I want to miss Drew´s wonderful voice?”

You cringe at the thought of your sister singing louder than everyone else – and on top of that terribly wrong. She doesn't hit a single note.

“No, actually… Y/N…” He runs a hand through his hair, trying to find the right words. “Gods, you´re so beautiful.”

It´s not the first time that somebody told you that. In fact, being a daughter of Aphrodite, you had heard it thousands of times already.

Still his words felt special to you. Special because he wasn´t just anybody. Ä

He was Luke. Your best friend Luke. Luke who was always there for you, who comforted you when you had trouble with your family, who managed to make you laugh when you lay in your bed crying your eyes out over something your stepmother had said. Luke who you trusted with all your heart.

“I wanted to ask you if you'd like to go on a picnic tomorrow?” He avoids looking at you.

Why is he so shy about going on a picnic? That's quite strange since you´d done this a few times before. You had even found your very own spot with a fantastic view over the sea. There was nothing more beautiful than watching sunsets while drinking juice and eating biscuits. So why does he seem so insecure?

Luke seems to notice your confusion. “I meant as a date”, he clarifies.

You raise your eyebrow, your heart racing. “Are you asking me out?”

“Yeah.”

For a moment you stood there, perplexed. Why was it so obvious to the others while you had no idea?

"So... what do you say?" Luke looks at you, biting his lip nervously. He seems to assume that you aren't answering because you're looking for a way to reject him as gently as possible.

Quickly you step forward, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. "Yes, I'd love to go on a date with you."

"Really?" Immediately he blushes deeply. That must have slipped out.

"Sure, why wouldn't I?" You giggle, taking his hand. "I've known you for years now. You're kind and brave and one of the most caring people I know."

A laugh escapes his lips. "Wow, if I had known that, I would have asked you way earlier." His hand slowly reaches for your cheek.

You hold your breath as he leans forward and places a soft kiss on your lips. It didn't feel weird at all. The opposite, actually. Seems like sometimes best friends can turn into lovers.

You wrap your arms around him, pulling him closer. Soft kisses become more passionate. His hands run through your hair, slowly brushing loose strands out of your face.

When he pulls away a huge smile creeps across his lips. "I love you, Y/N"

You return his smile, taking his hand and intertwining your fingers. "I love you, too."

As you walk back to the campfire holding hands, Silena beams at you. "I told you, Y/N, friends don't look at each other like that."

You shake your head, laughing. "Your advice really is the best."

[vad-hander]

YOU KNOW WE'RE NOT COMPATIBLE, RIGHT?

pairing: Haechan x reader

others: Mark, Jaemin, Jeno as Haechan's friends.

genre: smut | angst | fluff | college AU | fuck buddies AU to lovers | series

warnings: reader is mean and degrading towards Haechan throughout the fic (but nothing serious), mentions of drugs and alcohol, mentions of stealing, Haechan gets injured (breaks his leg, no graphic descriptions), explicit description of sexual interactions between Haechan and reader, unrequited love, reader has issues with showing her feelings, scared of other people's opinion, slowburn, romance

words: 13,7k

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3

“Hey.”

“Hey.” your head lifted at the sound of your roommate. 

“He's left already?” you felt your lips form a smile unconsciously. 

“Yeah, I literally cannot look into my computer a minute longer.” you sighed dramatically, shutting down the laptop on your knees after you got notified all the work was finally saved and dropped against the back rest. 

It was your 8th working session in the past two weeks with Haechan. You’ve never seen Lee Haechan so often, never had to sit right next to him in pure quietness for hours and try to have some sort of thinking process. 

It was difficult any way you looked at it and you were glad he was finally gone. At least, for the evening. 

Apparently, Jeno needed his help immediately and Haechan could never say no to a friend in need, which is a quote. 

Talking of needs, you wondered what happened to this man’s needs since having him as a working partner seemed to somehow kill his hormones. Even when you very much intentionally set a couple of your meetings in his house the boy didn’t lay a single finger on you. 

Figuratively speaking, because in fact the only thing he laid on you in those past 2 weeks were his palms. On your shoulder, or leg but it didn’t go past a teasing touch and you were confused beyond and above. 

“I can imagine studying with Lee Haechan be tiring.” she cackled, placing her body on the armrest next to you. Her hand going under her head for support, making the girl take a half laying position on an armrest close to you, almost pressing her body to yours. 

You probably reeked Haechan since the boy was practically attached to you at your hip for the past 5 hours, you were afraid she’d be able to pinpoint the scent of him, or more honestly you didn’t want her to ruin that scent with her fresh meadow scented deodorant. 

“He’s actually doing a good job.” you smiled awkwardly, noticing the eyes of your friend. A cunning fox type of stare wasn’t a good thing coming from Eunsoo, you could not wonder immediately if she saw how handsy Haechan was before he left and was testing the waters before jumping onto you with questions? Did she hear him asking if you’re free tomorrow night? Or worse, did she see him rub his face against your neck, saying he needed a break to distract his thoughts for a later on better thinking process? 

In all honesty, Haechan rubbed his face against you too many times during your sessions to go unnoticed by people around and the amount of times you were in fact ready to help him distract his brain and he never proceeded with the action made you tired, upset and even slightly annoyed. 

“What, what is this smile?” you laughed it off awkwardly, very awkwardly,  to be completely honest. You looked away to hide your eye twitch. 

“Surprised you’re not ripping hair off your head after every working session with him.” she laughed, and… it felt lie she maybe testet the water...? Did she try to tap on the fact you didn’t really hate spending time next to him?

“I-, he-, it’s funny to say, he’s good with academic studies, apparently, and if he’s not just typing gibberish into the laptop I think we might even be one of the top students.” you chuckled. “Oh, by the way, we left some food in the fridge, if you’re hungry.”

“We?” she teased with a smirk.

“My God, Eunsoo.” your eyes rolled backwards.

“No, it’s a good thing, I guess.”

“What is a good thing?”

“We’re not hating on Haechan anymore, right?” 

“I don’t think anybody actually really hated him in our friend group... except for Sua?" your thoughts trailed off before you got back "Why are you asking, anyway?”

“Ugh-agh.” she swallowed and fixed the hair on her head. 

“You’ve got something you wanted to say, don't you?” 

“Me? No? I was just testing the waters.“ your heart missed a beat because you were totally right. You cleared your throat in an attempt to unnoticeably calm your heart down.   

“Testing the waters, huh?“ still, you couldn’t keep yourself from shuffling, having to stand up and actually move around the room to not seem suspicious to your friend that acted way too suspicious herself. 

“Since you two are seem to be more friendly than before, not to jump far too ahead, but we all can be… friends… now?” she questioned, shaking her head a little as if the thought alone was still a little bewildering to her. It did seem bewildering to you too, every one of you being close to each other, being friends. “I thought I could ask you once again if you’d like to go on the boat trip that happens to be next weekend?“

“I don’t know.“ You shook your head with no answer. 

Maybe you should come, for your friends, for Eunsoo, not mind Haechan, his presence and presence of all his friends. At the end of the day, you don’t even have to look at each other, but on the other hand avoiding him could give him the wrong idea, the idea that your feelings for him have changed?

“Ya, look.” Eunsoo clapped, as her voice went a little louder, making you come back to reality “’I don’t know is much more of a better answer than a straight up no. Haechan must’ve shaken your ground, huh?“ her brows went up and down playfully. 

“Yeah, sure. He’s such a charming, lovely and smart guy I suddenly couldn’t imagine us part ways for the weekend, now that we’re all BFFs.“ Eunsoo laughed.

“Oh please don’t go in detail about your newly found passion in Haechan, I still have food to digest.“ She gagged jokingly. “Anyway, I’ma bout to shake your ground even more.“

“I’m all ears.“ You wiggled your brows playfully.

“The boat trip is free.“ you gasped, squinting your eyes in confusion.

“How come? How’d you make Jeno agree to that? What did you promise him?“ You jumped up to your friend, hand on your heart in concern.

“Nothing, I didn’t need to-“

“Jeno himself suggested I’m coming for free?“ you stared at her wide-eyed, trying to get a secret out of her that she obviously wasn’t keeping too well. 

“Ugh, not really-“ Eunsoo tried to get an answer out of her mouth but her brain was definitely not cooperating and you didn’t want to stop asking questions at the kinda exciting news. You took a moment in your brain to question yourself. Why exactly did the thought excite you so much? Jeno was practically a stranger to you. “So did you ask him to? Soo-yah, I’m starting to think he might have a crush… on me…? Of all people?!“ you couldn’t hold back a giggle. 

“I don’t-“ The girl paused calmly.

“He wants me to come no matter what? If he’s saying it’s free suddenly? I’m sure Sua and Aeri transferred him money last week.“ 

“Ugh… you sorta got it right.“ She sighed.

“Wh-“ you started confused “No, what?“ You spoke louder. “What did he say? What did he say?“ You pulled onto Eunsoo’s hand for more info, like an excited puppy.

“He just asked if you decided on coming… I said no, you’re not going to be there so he just said I can take you with me…” she paused and then suddenly continued “Said you have to be there no matter what so I’m here asking you if you’d come if it was free?“

“Should I?“ You chuckled.

“If you want to?“ She spoke awkwardly, you had to take a step back and recollect yourself. 

“Hey, I… actually, I thought Jeno had a thing for you and you two were slowly drifting in that direction? What happened with that? Thats very out of the blue…? Him wanting to see me there. When we’re there I should tell him I’m not interested, you d-.“

“No, no!“ Eunsoo jumped up. “Don’t tell him anything.“

“Why?“

“I-ugh, he’s going to be pissed I told you, just don’t mention anything, it’s better you act the usual.“

“Are you sure?“

“Yeah, yeah, don’t go out of your way just to refuse him.“

“I-oh, okay. But are you okay with that?“ 

“Yeah, yeah. So you’re going then, right?“

“Guess I’m going, then.“ you chuckled.

“Fantastic.“ Eunsoo clapped her hands relieved, the conversation seemed too awkward for her, it could not not gut you. “I’ll go eat leftovers of your fancy lunch with your new best friend.“ 

-

From: Haechan

Great news, cupcake.

To: Haechan

What news?

From: Haechan 

You’re coming to Jeno’s little party

To: Haechan

So it’s great news now

Didn’t you say that I’ll shit your party?

From: Haechan

Aw, baby, you’re keeping everything I say close to your heart, I’m honoured

Don’t worry tho, I changed my opinion and I’m going to make the best of your presence

To: Haechan

Awww poor baby, You must’ve gotten a little too comfortable and forgot we’re not friends

it’s fine though, I’ll say hi back to you once I see you on that boat

From: Haechan

I hope you’re not getting sea sick and stuff

I’ve never done you on water, won’t forgive you for ruining my chance

And then sure, lets not talk

To: Haechan

NO

and, I’m sure you’re overestimating Jeno’s abilities, isn’t it going to be more of a catamaran type boat? lol

From: Haechan

why the caps lock you want to make sure I know you’re not getting sea sick?

To: Haechan

F u 

Go finish the project on your own 

From:Haechan

You’re not much of a help anyway

To: Haechan

And finish yourself off on your own too <3

Excuse me, I’m not much of a help?!?

Your life’s about to end

From: Haechan

If you’re considering staring at me while I actually work on our paper help, I’ve got bad news for you cupcake

You gasped scandalised and threw your phone away. Annoying Haechan and his annoyingly good eyesight, you thought, he deserves to be left on read.

From: Haechan

whoopsie, was I supposed to keep my mouth closed?

You never were supposed to text me in the first place, you mumbled under your breath, suddenly being too worked up by him. His senseless messages made your heart wake up and burn, not with love and passion, with embarrassment and that long forgotten, almost dead feeling of wishing to end his cocky smile and witty brain. 

From: Haechan

come on, don’t act like you’re surprised 

I thought you were this obvious on purpose

weren’t you?

You stared at the phone blankly, considering your options. 

from: Haechan

hey

hey!!

you 

to: Haechan

I’ll block you if you won’t stop

from: Haechan 

why?

to: Haechan 

hey

Hey

You 

You 

Hey

You

Fuck 

You

like it?

from: Haechan

okay baby go back to what you were doing, bye 

to: Haechan 

thanks

-

You reached out for the bedside table in pure darkness, blindly finding your phone. When the gadget was finally in your hands you lit up the screen. 

“Fuck”, you mumbled under your breath as the screen burned your eyes. 2 AM, the clock marking an hour and 30 minutes of tossing and turning in bed because everything turned out to be more than you were able to handle. All your thoughts and feelings suddenly were much more than what you could process and you were sincerely dreading the new day that would bring more concerns and more importantly more Haechan. 

You needed more random things to flood your mind so they’d be able to overlap the Haechan ones you had because thinking of Haechan in the middle of the night was giving you a headache. Did he think of you too…? Sometimes, maybe, at least at all, ever? How did you end up getting here? You’d chuckle if someone else asked you that question. 

Middle of the night, palms sweaty from overthinking too much, heart trembling a little because the boy you used to just have sex with smashed the lock on the door to your feelings with no mercy. 

Was he intentionally invading your inner peace? Did he want to stir your feelings as part of his stupid ego stroking, did you imagine things, come up with all that in your head? You needed Lee Haechan to take responsibility for his actions, he overstepped the boundary way too many times, now he flirts with you as an addition to everything else. Baby? Seriously, baby, cupcake was much of a better nickname, at least you knew it was meaningless and not personal. It felt like he wasn’t bothered too much to remember what your actual name was and stuck to something that made your relationship feel like a transaction. Baby is definitely giving a feeling to you, a little too intimate for your liking, it’s like he was claiming he liked you, like he claimed you his something and you were in some sort of relationship. 

What if his silly brain already spilled things to his group of friends about you and him? Your heartbeat fastened even more. Oh how you hated yourself for laying in that bed and still thinking of Haechan’s message when it’s been an ungodly amount of hours since he sent it. 

Maybe, it’s just you going crazy since that day he took you out. 

What if…? You had to toss onto the other side of the bed at the thought. What if he does all of this to play with you? Since the day you told him to not kiss you Haechan seemed to change his game, he just plays to try make you brake the rule of no kissing first. He’s that type of person to do things only to satisfy his own needs and satisfy his ego. Oh god, you had to sigh again. 

Were you going through all stages of grief or something like that? Now you’re on the demonising the person of your concerns stage? Sigh, sigh, sigh. 

You couldn’t  sigh any louder or you'll literally wake up Eunsoo. 

Maybe, at this point, you’d really let him do anything to fulfil whatever plan he had. You’d  gladly accept defeat if only he’d let you smash your lips against his right this moment, it doesn’t even have to be literally right this moment. If you’d get reassurance you’d be able to do it in the morning you’ll do anything in your power to conquer your feelings and finally fall asleep to hold on till the new day. 

-

“Just to clarify, I was staring at you because I couldn’t stop wondering, if you had brain in that head of yours all along, why did you act like you didn’t, not because of whatever you thought.” you slapped your palm against Haechan’s chest for no particular reason, it seemed to you it’ll give more effect, persuade him more you were telling the truth. A very puzzled expression on the boys face turned into even more confused one as your palm stayed on him for a few seconds. 

“Okay?”

“Good.” you nodded, and took a step back. 

“I didn’t ask. What are you even on about?” your eyes suddenly glued to his. He still was confused, that’s for sure. Well, who wouldn’t, in all honesty. You popped out of the blue on his way to the campus, first thing in the morning like a psychopath. You weren’t even sure you didn’t look like one. 

“Ugh… huh?” your brain processed his question. “What do you mean what I’m on about?”

“When were you staring? I just got here.” 

“Your message on Friday.”

“Oh, that.” he smirked immediately. “I was just shitting you, but it seems like I hit the spot right?”

“You- fuck you.” 

“Come on, don’t act like you’re not enjoying me texting you.”

“I don’t. You’re always interrupting.”

“Yeah? What exactly did I interrupt on Friday?”

“I-, I was doing something. It’s none of your business.” 

“Okay, I’ll stay out of it then.” the slight nod and completely lost interest in his eyes kind of pinched you. 

You maybe wanted him to pick on you, push and tease so he’d get straight to whatever he was interrupting but he just didn’t. Did he lose all his interest in you? Or was this just a tiresome Monday morning and he wasn’t in for the game?

You weren’t that much of a talkative friend when it came to him. You weren’t about to giggle and ask him why he's so stiff this morning. You were about to start sweating that’s for sure, your palms were feeling too warm because you maybe wanted to tell him something but maybe talking to him suddenly felt like imposing. Were you about to go insane over Lee Haechan? Over him and the fact he didn’t have a thing to say to you. Since when? 

“Okay.” you nodded too and wanted to walk straight past him, but it felt like you made it hard for yourself to breathe. “The presentation of the project is this Wednesday. I’m almost done with the slides but we need to go through the text, who’s saying what, who’s presenting which part and all that stuff.” you didn’t want to look at him anymore while talking. Why did you not want to look at him? You couldn’t understand yourself at all. Your wishful thinking brought you here in front of him early in the morning after almost a sleepless night. Somehow you thought he’d tease you and smile at you and set another date for seeing each other wether it’d be for sex or food or school. At this point you caught yourself not caring at all as long as it’s something to do with him. You could understand the change in your demeanour, but what was up with him? You really wanted to clap in front of his eyes and ask him what’s up. 

The change in you obviously scared you. It made you sincerely concerned for your self. You probably needed to talk this out with someone but the more you went through with that first sentence you’d start the conversation with the more you felt self-conscious to bring it up even as a thought that might’ve popped up in your head once or twice. 

The more you thought of it the more you brought up heaviness on your shoulders. Were you imagining or did Haechan change? His behaviour seemed colder than before? Did he change his demeanour because he felt you actually fall for his flirting and the pure intentions of his flirting were not to make you fall for him… it was to watch you be uncomfortable? 

Were you actually beating around the bush and not admitting to yourself truthfully the four letter word you were feeling towards him. No, not the big four letter word, the smaller one, but very much dear to your heart, very fragile as it still felt like early stages of processing the feeling. And even though your body might’ve not been new to it, since your brain was only able to work it out recently, your body was sent signals to act like the feeling was very new to it too, and it obeyed perfectly. 

You actually had to stop yourself, because you were starting to feel even more hot, getting the fact you might’ve looked insane by now, even. You took a quick glance at Haechan’s face, crossing with his stare only to go blank and look away quickly. Was he sensing the inner battle you had and was disgusted? Didn’t want to be part of it? If the two of you stood there a little longer you were sure you’d make yourself cry right there. Overthinking was definitely your specialty. 

“We’re super short on time, if you don’t mind splitting the presentation on your own and sending to me my parts-.”

“Yes, I can very much do that.” 

“Great, see you around, then.” 

“Yes.” you gave him a nod, you’re sure tho it wasn’t seen. Great, now Haechan didn’t even want to prepare the presentation with you in person. 

-

The clock on the wall was barely audible now that the classroom was practically packed with students. Still, the only thing your hearing was focused on were the seconds that turned into minutes. Your eyes were trained on the door and your fingers would stop fidgeting the pen every time someone walked past the entrance but would get back to work every time because every person that walked through the door wasn’t Lee Haechan. Where the hell was he? You closed your eyes for a 5 second breather. 

Finally, the clock reached 10 AM, one minute later the professor walked into the auditorium and closed the door right behind him. 

“Glad to see you all so cheerful. Bet each and every one of you is thrilled to present your work and get the passing grades?” the young man smiled and cleared his throat, making the whole room quiet. 

Again, the quiet room brought the ticking sound upon you. Tic-tac-tic-tac. 

to: Haechan

Where are you? We’re 5th to present. Professor's about to start the class. 

Your eyes raised at the door once again as one of the students ran in apologising for being late. 

“I think I’ll just go sit in the back and let the first group prepare for the presentation?”  professors eyes moved over the classroom to see the first ones to stand up. “Oh, Ms. Moon and Ms. Ong, great.” he gave Sua and her partner a nod and non-verbally invited them to the front to set up their presentation. 

to: Haechan

Why the hell are you not reading my message?

Your only excuse is you’re running your legs off to get here in time for our turn. 

Please?

You had to add when the message was still unread. Did he die by any chance? Overslept because he was memorising his parts till very late at night? You dialled the number - pure silence was what you were met with besides the monotonous rings on the other side of the line. 

You had to breathe because not only were you starting to feel overwhelmed by the end of the third groups presentation, you were realising you had almost no time left to run through the parts Haechan was meant to present and prepare yourself at least a little. 

“Hey, pst!“ your head snapped in direction of the whisper. “Where’s that little freak?“ Sua leaned over the students in front of her to hear your answer properly, but you had no words for her, you shrugged and turned away to not start bawling your eyes out in panic. 

“Mr. Lee and -“ professor announced running his eyes to scan the faces of present students. “I don’t think I see Mr. Lee in here.“ His eyes landed on you, as he called out your surname. “What happened to Mr. Lee? Is he running late? Will you be okay to present on your own?” 

”I think- I guess he’s running here so he’s not responding. Could we please listen to the next presentation and return to us later? Please?” The man looked at you for a good minute, probably debating if he should give you time or force you to do it now by yourself. Your teary eyes must have swayed him towards the first option and he gave you a nod, reading off the paper the next project couple. 

”Okay, you’re the last one to present tonight.”

”Thank you. Thank you so much.” you trained your eyes on the papers in front of you to memorise whatever Haechan was meant to talk about on those slides. You were agonising, if only you actually put in work to put everything together instead of letting Haechan take care of everything. It felt like you gave in to the devil and now had to pay the price for giving in. Your eyes ran through words but all your brain processed was either ‘fuck you Haechan’ and ‘you better show up before the end of that class’. Actually if he showed up after all the stress you went through right now, you’d choke him right at the entrance. 

Currently you were in the state where you barely remembered your own part and what was the topic of the paper at all. 

He didn't come. Not when it was 20 minutes before the end of the class, not even when you had 10 minutes left and got up in front of everyone to present. 

This very moment you were in the cafeteria with your head hanging low while Aeris hand soothed your back and Sua sat right next to you blabbering non-stop. 

"No, I literally knew being paired up with that annoying leech would end up terrible for you. Like I had a gut feeling he's going to find a way to fuck this all up."

"Haechan literally worked his butt off for that paper, I don't think he'd just fleet like that. Must be something serious." Eunsoo pointed and you almost did agree with her, it didn't seem like Haechan wanted to dodge this class on purpose but at the same time you could never know what actually happened in that little shits head and predict his thinking was like punching air - useless. 

"Yes, serious, like he has to be literally dead now for it to be serious enough excuse to dodge a presentation class like that. Did he read your texts?" Aeri patted your back for attention. You pulled out your phone to still unread messages and shook your head a no. You were slowly calming down and wished he'd pop up before you as soon as possible so you'd still have fume in you to fight.  

"Hey, it wasn't that bad. You literally got an A- and presented perfectly."

"I stuttered like an idiot every 2 words." you spoke for the first time in 15 minutes making everyone relieved. 

"If it was actually as bad as it seems to you you would've never gotten an A-"

"I still don't understand why you told that freak took great part in that paper with you. You had a perfect chance to pay him back but instead he gets an A while probably sleeping in his bed comfortably or some shit." Sua shook her head dissaprovingly. 

"Should've made him pay for real." Aeri agreed. 

"I want to dodge the next class, honestly, I wasn't prepared for that much stress in one morning."

"I can cover for you." Eunsoo suggested. 

"And I can dodge the class with you." Sua cackled and Aeri suggested the same. 

"I, ugh, I think I'm just gonna go home and stare at the wall and meditate." you excused yourself from the girls company and stood up. 

"If you want to you can have the piece of cake in the fridge." 

"That's a real sacrifice, Eunsoo, God." you chuckled and pulled yourself together. "Okay, I guess, see ya tomorrow."

"Bye, bye!"

"Don't think about that loser too much!"

- 

As soon as your feet walked up to the disagnated floor you didnt just walk, you stormed to the needed door. Even before your feet stopped at their place, your finger was already pressing into the doorbell. 

Of course, you weren't about to go back home, stare at the wall and not think that the stupid boy that stirred your insides for the past couple of weeks suddenly faded like he was never there. He was very much there and he was very much invested in getting a good grade. You heard some shuffling behind the door and as it opened you stared at the boy that never stopped you wondering how can you hate someone even more than you hated them the day before. 

"Jesus fucking christ." He exclaimed and pulled your hand off the door bell. "Why the hell you're ringing the bell like that. I'm no Sonic." he let go of your wrist to walk back in, expecting you to do the same. 

"So you're not dead, after all." you snorted to yourself and walked in. 

"Were there any signs?"

"Are you going to pretend like you didn't miss 100s of my calls and messages and didn't skip the very important class we had to present at?"

"Oh? That was scheduled for today?" he opened his mouth in shock, closing it with his palm afterwards. He was obviously sarcastic. 

"You're a psycho." You crossed arms on your chest, not planning to walk in any further into his place. 

"Why?"

"You skipped our presentation without a notice."

"Maybe I just really wanted you to realise how much you need me." Haechan pressed his shoulder against the wall and smiled at you with that sweet-sweet smile he could only muster when he wanted to be out of this world annoying. 

"You're fucking vicious."

"Why?" he batted his eyelashes. 

"I-." you swallowed. You really wanted to scream at him, get into a fight or maybe just be mean and rude and then leave but on your way here that bubbling rage inside of you cooled down a little and you just wanted to know what the fuck was wrong with him to act this way. "Why did I even think for a split second that I can rely on you or that we finally are understanding each other a little bit? You're just out of this world psychotic and I will never ever again agree on doing anything with you. Like even that thing we had going on - it's over. I don't want you lay a single finger on me after that stress you put me through." You wanted to say more but he was quiete and almost dead with the face expression so you decided on turning around and walking away. "oh, by the way, I got you an A so don't you worry bout your grades baby boy." you let him know before walking out and smashing the door after. 

- 

When you smashed that door you hoped whole heartedly he'd pull you back in by the wrist and explain himself like all those male leads in romcoms do. And you would fotgive him and he'd pull you into a hug and give you that very much wanted kiss you've been thinking of for the past few weeks. You were in fact ready to forgive him when you walked up to his place if only he put in effort to explain, you were to be honest already partially relieved when you saw him alive and well. 

But he didn't make a single sound from behind that door and before you walked back down those stairs you decided you'd act out on your pathetic thoughts and slow down with those steps. What if he was putting on some clothes before chasing you down? Or tying his shoe laces before he could walk out. You waited a little bit longer, before it turned way beyond the limits of pathetic behaviour you set. You had to leave and actually get back home. 

Act like you weren't  affected by his behavior, change of his mood and the mixed signals that were coming from him. You had to act in front of Eunsoo like Haechan didn't affect you deeply and all your thoughts were centered around him. 

You couldn't possibly stop yourself thinking if he took your words seriously or he'd figure you were angry and didn't actually mean you didn't want a single finger of his on you, because if he'd reach out first you knew you would not ignore him. 

"You're actually lucky you dipped." Eunsoo walked into your room, arms pulling off the hoodie she wore outside. "Can I sit?" the girl asked pointing at your bed. 

You nodded, scooping your books to one side of the bed. You decided that studying would be helpful for your brain to stop pacing from one thing to the other but you were proven wrong about an hour ago but still stared into those books like they were about to give in. 

"Haechan didn't show up for the rest of the day. Were you successful in finding out what the hell happened with him?"

"No." you shrugged nonchalantly. "I couldn't care less for his reasons. It's for sure the very last time we're working on something together. I mean, worked."

"It's just weird, maybe I'm overthinking." Eunsoo sighed and rested her head on her palm. 

"It is indeed weird." you were trying to understand the girl that was sitting on your bed. Was she just talking to you, did she want you to talk out all the shit you had on your mind about Haechan or she knew something and wanted to dig in further out of pure curiosity. "I'm maybe glad I didn't see him at my peak rage cause I'm sure he would've walked away injured." Eunsoo giggled with her mouth hidden behind her other palm. 

"I hope you'll completely let go of this ridiculous situation by Friday and will enjoy the party like the queen of unbotherness that you are." 

"What party?" you furrowed your eyebrows for a second before your heart dropped down to your feet. "That catamaran thing Jeno's arranging?" That Haechan is totally attending and totally is not going to reach out to you at as he promised before he would. 

"He actually sent me the pics. It's a little better than a catamaran." Eunsoo commented after a chuckle, reaching out for her phone to show you the pics. "Jeno said there's a big outside area."

"Very suitable for the season." You smirked. 

"Well, it's still pretty warm, I think a lot of padding will save us. And a big enough inside area for dancing, food and other fun things."

"Fun things like what?" 

"Games, I don't know, quiz, whatever comes into his mind. Jeno actually isn't that good with stuff like that so I'm wondering a little what all of this going to look like." she showed you a picture of a massive looking tourist boat, yacht, ship? You couldn't really work out what was the right name for that. "Okay, it's not really a catamaran like. I'll take my words back." You smiled honestly impressed. "Wait, how many people are coming? This feels like an expensive thing to rent."

"Jeno's dad is a best friend to the owner of the company that owns those boats. He's paying almost nothing, so we're lucky for a friend like Jeno." she beamed. 

"We-, sure." You couldn't hold back a laugh. You weren't sure you ever had even a simple conversation with Jeno before. 

"What?" Eunsoo chewed on her cheek probably finally realising she was smiling all the time she was tlaking about Jeno. Not sus at all, you swallowed. 

"You do realise I most likely know none of those people invited except for you and Sua and Aeri."

"You know Haechan."

"I'm definitely far from knowing him." you rolled both your eyes at her words. Even if you thought before you did, it's all gone now. 

"Well, you two were off to a good start, before... today, you know." She scratched her brow, suddenly getting off your bed. "Ugh, I'm gonna heat up some rice and fry an egg. You want some?"

"Yes please, thank you." You smiled, watching Eunsoo fade behind the door. 

Off to a good start, you thought to yourself and almost pulled the hair from your head. 

-

You had a feeling you should not go. You could name a whole damn list of reasons you should just not attend the party stay at home and watch a movie, read a book, listen to a podcast - the list literally goes on, but there were 2 reasons that were strong enough to influence you to come:

1. You would not allow Haechan to think you skipped the party because you were mad at him;

2. It turned out you were pretty weak when it came to resisting Haechan, you couldn't allow yourself to be in bed for the evening, thinking and wondering if Haechan was there, what was he wearing, what did he smell like today and if he would see you would he let the two of you fall back to complete strangers or make a move? 

That's why currently you were standing next to Eunsoo in an elevator that was taking you downstairs. A maxi dress with fitted silhouette in mesh with long sleeves, gathered waist, mock neck and all over pattern in dark dusty blue color hugged your body. You didn't really want to dress all out but the dress was giving warm and secured so you just put it on, getting approving nods from the girl next to you. 

"I am not letting you come back home without securing Jeno, like I'm being completely serious right now. I don't understand why he's acting like he's blind. If he's not going to drool over you tonight I'm going to punch some sence into him." you giggled "I'm so tired of watching you two beating around the bush." 

"We're not!" Eunsoo protested on her way out of the elevator. 

"I'm sure he wanted me there so I'd be your wingman." 

"Shut up, for real." Eunsoo rolled her eyes at you. 

You quickly got into the taxi that awaited the two of you in front of the building. Soon enough you were on the little ladder that connected pier and the boat. A man helped everyone get safely inside of the boat, you guessed it was the captain. As soon as you entered, violet neon light cut your eyes a little as the blackness of the outside contrasted with lighting much. Jeno stood right at the entrance beaming a smile at everyone that entered. 

"Welcome to the Jeno boat, we're about to take you on the best ride in your life." Jeno's eyes immediately glued to Eunsoo, not giving a single glance to you.

"I hope the best boat ride in my life will not end up the way your last party ended." You had to swallow to prevent yourself from laughing. Spotting a bar and Sua right next to it, you didn't even need to excuse yourself, you walked away unnoticed by the two, booing Sua as she reached for the drink placed in front of her by the bartender. 

"Boo!" you exclaimed, placing your palm on the girls waist.

"Damn!" She exclaimed first annoyed as her drink almost spilled, turning around to probably swear at you, before she processed it was you, her friend. Sua's eyes ran all over your outfit, her tone completely changing. "Damn girl!" She giggled, placing the drink back at the bar table, reaching out for your palm to twirl you in front of her. You twirled like she wanted you to and made a cute pose as a killing point. "What a pretty dress and what a pretty girl. Want to hook up?" Sua shouted to be louder than the music playing with her brows as she leaned into you, with a voice that she probably considered flirtatious but was just giving away it wasn't her first drink of the night. 

"What you're having?" you peeked at the drink behind the girl.

"A Pina colada. This one's actually one of the best ones on the menu. I've tried a few other cocktails."

"Off to a great start." You giggled, ordering the same drink. 

"Oh." Sua made a sound staring at the entrance and you almost asked her what was up but you heard the loudest scream and giggles after and by all those noises it was impossible for you to not acknowledge Haechan's presence. You considered turning around and checking out his appearance but you weren't still done proseccing his total black outfit from weeks ago and seeing whatever he was wearing now would probably make you weak in the knees. 

The bartender handed you your Pina colada, you taking a sip of the drink immediately. 

"It does taste good." You gasped at Sua that was finishing off her glass by now. 

"See, I told you it's good. Like, really good, I'm impressed." She giggled and took a look at the bartender "Two more, please." The girl probably caught your shocked stare "for you and me." She added. 

"Thank you. Want to take a walk outside?" You smiled, you didn't want to turn around and find Haechan somewhere behind you. You wanted to exit the same area he was in and prepare yourself to actually face him. In addition, you did come there to hang out with your friends and specifically give the boy zero attention. You were trying to keep things as they were planned. You had a little bit of an anxious break down because you had a gut feeling once you turn around you'll get caught by him and he'll tease you till your very last day on earth.  

"Yeah, sure. More people coming in. I think, everyone by now must be here." Sua stated, making you turn around quickly, seeing no one in a span of a second. Still you spotted there was indeed more people than before. "Oh, I spotted Aeri." She jumped in place excited, waving at the girl that most definitely couldn't see her yet. "Wait here and get our drinks. I'm going to bring Aeri here." You gave Sua a nod as she took off. 

The bartender placed both full glasses in front of you in a minute and as more people were gathering around the bar it was harder to stay there and keep your drinks safe. You could feel the boat start moving in a bit and  to confirm your assumption you heard a wild noise coming from Jeno. A very loud 'let's go' that was perfectly heard by you even through the music. You had to turn around because it was too much of a temptation to see what mess he was up to. Well, for now, the mess weren't really there, he scooped his closest friends around him, taking all of them at once to the bar. You had to be blind to not see Haechan under Jeno's right arm. He had to bent his back a little to fit in. As he was smiling widely, showing off his perfectly white teeth, eyes disappearing in pure joy. His hair seemed a little messy, like he didn't style it at all, got out of the shower and let them dry naturally. You had a feeling if you'd touch his hair you'd be able to tell if he blow dried them or not. Haechan wore a graphic t-shirt with a zip up black hoodie and a leather jacket. Skinny black jeans that he wore showed off his skinny built, finishing off the look with his casual white trainers. You had to force yourself to blink to not look crazy. 

The boys were chatting and as the tone of their voices got seemingly lower you couldn't even guess what they were saying. Haechan freed himself of Jeno's hold, reaching for the menu on the other side of the bar. You turned away, watching Sua and Aeri approach you. 

"Hey." Aeri reached out to hug you. "I see that freaky company is already starting their madness." she rolled her eyes. 

"If Jeno's here, where's Eunsoo?" you asked, sincerely curios. You weren't able to see Eunsoo from where you were standing. 

"She's at the entrance with a girl that took economics with her. Apparently they've got some serious business discussion." Aeri pointed with her hands where you guessed she last saw your mutual friend. 

"Okay." you gave her a nod, trying really hard to not stare to the side all the noise was coming from. The whole place was pretty chill, Jeno's friends or most likely acquaintances filled up the improvised dance floor. There was maybe 50 people, probably even more. You couldn't imagine Jeno knowing all of them. You never saw like 90% of these people before, you wondered if every friend brought a friend and a long chain of people showed up here without knowing who people surrounding them were. 

You wondered if Haechan brought anyone too to fill up the cost of the trip or what if he really did bring someone because they were his friend, because they were close and he wanted to see them here? You were jealous because you obviously weren't one of the people he wanted to see here. 

When Aeri finally got her drink from the bartender that was finally freed from Jeno's besties order, Sua, Aeri and you walked outside, greeted by the breezy wind. Thankfully, lots of blankets were piled up on one of the stools, the three of you immediately covering yourself in multiple layers of those. 

"There's even comfortable outside seating." You exclaimed, quickly moving your limbs over to the leather couch with multiple pillows. "I wonder if those pillows were ever at risk of being thrown away into the sea." you chuckled, making yourself comfortable and making room for your friends. 

"I bet these are sewed onto this." Sua dropped herself next to you, pulling onto the pillow. 

"Wow they are indeed sewed into this couch." You giggled like it was insanely funny to you. It really wasn't, just the 2nd Pina colada on an empty stomach was making your head spin a little. 

"It's making me sick a little." Aeri stared into the water that foamed from under the motor. "If you look for too long its kinda starting to make you sick."  

"Don't look." Sua laughed, pulling onto Aeris hand. 

"Fine." the girl turned to look at the two of you hidden under the blankets, fingers peeking from under them to hold onto Pina coladas. "Were you able to take a glance at all the guests? Any interesting faces?"

"I couldn't see anyone besides Jeno that greeted Eunsoo and I. More like he greeted her and then he got tunnel vision and I ran away to Sua. That's it. I know nobody here except for Jeno's circle. "

"I heard Jeno's bestie Jaemin brought his girlfriend for the first time to meet his boys." Sua cleared her throat before speaking. 

"Sweet." Aeri cooed in unison with you. 

"People are saying Jeno threw the party so his friend could confess feelings to someone."

"Who? Jaemin to that girl?" 

"I guess." Aeri shrugged. 

"Look! The moon!" Sua pointed at the sky, making you jump in your sit with the unexpected loudness. 

"It looks like a full moon." Aeri commented. 

"It's not. It's waning moon, full moon was yesterday."

"Hi Mr.Moon." you giggled, stretching out a hand from the blanket to wave at the sky. 

"Hi." Both Aeri and Sua sang. 

"Are you three talking to the moon?" Eunsoo forced the three of you turn around to the entrance door. "How many drinks each of you had?" She laughed, walking up to you. 

"Not that many." Aeri protested, more on her behalf than yours and definitely not Sua's. 

"You three should come back inside, it's warmer there and they're about to play your favorite song, Aeri."

"What?" Aeri exclaimed like she was cut deeply. "And I'm here staring at the water bubbles battling my wish to throw up?" The girl laughed and stood up immediately. "Sua?" the girl suggested. 

"I'm kinda having fun right here." Sua smiled like a Cheshire cat. 

"Come on, I thought you two would be right in the center of that dancing pit setting the whole party up." Eunsoo pulled onto Sua's hand making the girl stand up too. Sua placed her half empty glass on something plasticy that seemed like a great storing surface at first. Aeri linked her arm with Sua's, taking the girl back inside in pure silence

"I'm kinda offended." You giggled, looking at Eunsoo that took Sua's place. "Did you not expect me to pump up the party?" 

"I did!" Your friend protested weakly. "I actually wanted to tell you something."

"Does this have to do anything with Jeno?" You perked up your ears, gossip was one of the things that made you dead excited. You sipped onto the Pina colada that you tried really hard to not finish off. 

"Yeah, kinda." Eunsoo smiled shyly. "Wait, I didn't even have a single drink yet, I'll go get myself one before we talk." 

"Sure." you giggled " i'll be right here." Eunsoo nodded with a giggle. "get me one too, please." you shouted as the girl was reaching the door, making sure she did actually hear you. 

You closed your eyes for a second, focusing your hearing on the loud music blasting inside. It was really loud and tempting, you did want to come back there and have fun with your friends as soon as Eunsoo spills her secrets. It took her a little longer than you expected to return to you and by the time it felt like it was maybe 10 minutes since she left you started to doubt if she'd even return to you at all. It kinda felt nice, the more you drank the less you were worried about Haechan, so you downed the drink in your hand to take the one Sua left behind.

Finally, you heard the door open once again and the lonely steps signalled that it must be Eunsoo. You opened your eyes only when by your calculations she was about to stand right next to you, ready to reach out your hand for the drink when your smile faded completely as your vision worked out the person in front of you. 

Haechan was still smiling at you despite your face dropping completely. There wasn't a chance he couldn't read the room, not  understand that you didn't want him here or you dreaded breathing the same air as him. That's the main reason you were spending your time here, outside. 

"Can I sit?"

"No." you replied firmly, looking away. Your eyes focused on the inside of your glass as you took a sip. 

"Please?" 

"No." you stated once again, challenging him with a stare. 

"I-ugh, I'm sorry, I'm going to disobey." Haechan scrunched his nose, taking a little glance around and sitting down. 

"I'm waiting for my friends!" you protested, moving your body into the farthest corner from where Harchan seated himself. 

"Okay, I'm just going to sit here wait for your friends with you."

"I don't want your company." 

"I know." Haechan reached out his hand to you palm up. You didn't understand if he expected you to hold it or what was the intention of the gesture, but you ignored it. "You look very pretty tonight, if you don't mind me saying. I wish you didn't have to hide here because of me." your head snapped in his direction. You were so exasperated it took you a good second to start talking. 

"I'm not hiding here. Not from you or because of you, of all people." you tried really hard to sound scandalised, to not sound like you were exposed and hurt and very much curios why did he come here and where he wanted to take this. 

 "Good, because it kinda felt like it-"

"It's not." You didn't let him finish his nonsense. 

"Okay. I know you're mad at me, it's obvious. I did screw you up skipping our presentation day." Your eyes glued to Haechan's side while his attention was glued to his own fingers. "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry." Haechan moved his eyes to your face, catching you off guard. 

"Okay." you gulped before replying. 

"I'm really thankful you got me an A even though I made you all stressed out like that." Haechan lowered his voice, teasing his lower lip between his teeth. 

"Okay." you nodded quietly not being able to tell him how careless he was and all the things you were practicing because you most definitely was one step away from voicing to him your desires and smashing your lips against his, with the way his teeth were teasing that lower lip. 

"Come on, talk to me." The hand that reached out for you before now was gripping carefully onto your knee for attention "If I'm not seeing things that aren't there..." he paused probably picking out words to say, your heart went on pause too. "I probably made you hella confused, I'm so sorry. Whatever I made you think is right." you couldn't find words to talk back so Hyuck continued after a pause "See? I'm trying hard to get over my pride and say I'm sorry. Can't you do the same for me?" Haechan's fingers flexed on your knee. 

"I don't have to be sorry for anything." you pressed "If you wanted to say that I was right when I felt like you couldn't care less about me and I wasn't one bit someone worth at least noticing of your plans in advance then thank you for confirmation, I guessed that by now without your help." You tried to shake away his hand off your body. You were feeling a little too warm under his touch. 

"I didnt mean that you need to say sorry to me, only the pride part. You really don't want to make it easier for me, aren't you?" 

"I don't know what you're talking about." You moved your body more against the back rest, crossing your arms over your chest, your drink close to your mouth. The pineapple smell made you thirsty, you took a sip. If Eunsoo ever planned on coming back it's better she returned with a whole damn tray of drinks with the time it took her, you thought. 

Haechans finger still rested over your knee like they were meant to be there. It made you mad a little, that you didn't force him to put it away immediately and now the Haechan fever was spreading over your body. 

You reached out a hand, peeling each of his fingers off your knee. Haechan's fingers were freezing, if you weren't mad you would've suggested him a blanket. As soon as he gave in and allowed you to take his hand in yours you reached to take it back to his lap. You wanted to let go as soon as you reached his lap and hide behind the blanket but instead you were caught in claws formed by Hyucks fingers. He forced your palm to rest against his lower stomach, not letting you to win the battle the two of you suddenly had. 

"Let go." You tried to sound threatening. 

"Not until you're forgiving me."

"Then you'll have to freeze to death and I'll watch you drown in the ocean, Jack." you smarted.

"It's a river, Rose." he cackled, always being ready for a comeback. 

"Shut up, I know." You tried to pull your hand out of his hold as it felt like he loosened his grip, but as soon as he could feel you move his hand pressed yours back against his stomach. 

Your other hand still held onto the glass and you downed whatever was in there to free your hand. 

"I know you know." Haechan smiled warmly at you. You looked at him a little confused, was it the Pina colada or the way his fingers were gripping onto yours? "Are you done with your drink?" the boys finger pointed at the empty glass in your hand. "I'll take it, okay?" Reaching out the next moment to take the glass from you. 

You watched Haechan place the glass back to where Sua stored it before. He moved slowly, like he had all the time in the world. You wondered if anyone will eventually walk out that door to have a smoke break or if Jeno will look for Haechan to set you free. Or Sua, or Aeri, or literally anyone. You still had a little hope Eunsoo will remember she wanted to share her news with you and return. 

You were buzzing a little inside if you were honest to yourself. Haechan did find you himself, he did say he's sorry, he did hold your hand like he wanted for you two to be closer. Still, he didn't really say anything besides he was sorry. It wasn't enough for you to get your guard down, to let him play you like he wanted to. 

"You can let go of my hand, it's not like I'm going to run away from here anyway." you said calmly. You had that warm aura under the blanket, it was pitch black outside but the lights from the inside were making the dim light come through to where the two of you were sitted. Same for the music, you could still hear pretty clearly the muffled sound coming from the inside. It made you reminisce a little about that time Haechan took you out. You moved your eyes onto his face features. Haechan's face softened too as he saw you relax more. You wondered if he thought of that time too, how he rested his head on your lap and made you run your fingers through his hair. If he'd ask you to do that now, you wouldn't mind agreeing. 

"Promise?" You gave him a slight nod. "I want us to go back what we had." 

"I-" your face dropped a little as the words left his mouth, he clearly felt that as his face expression mirrored yours. He was putting effort for you to allow him the sex he talked about. "I'm not going to sleep with you." you pulled your hand out of his grip, finally. 

"I mean to what we had for the last couple of weeks. When we were partners in the project and friends." Your head snapped back in Haechan's direction. "I mean it. I want to be your friend." you blinked at him wordlessly. You felt a little too warm under all those blankets while Haechans ears were seemingly turning pink from the cold outside. You reached out to him with no sound at all, lifting up his palm the moment he realised you were reaching out to him. You ignored the gesture once again, moving up to feel the temperature of his nose and ears with the back of your hand. 

"You're freezing. You'll get sick." you half whispered, taking all those blankets off your body. As you sat straight and gathered all the blankets left behind by girls you had to get on your knees on the couch as the dress you were wearing was way too narrow on the legs and didn't allow you to move however you wanted to. "I can share a blanket with a friend." you added quitly, bitting onto your lips afterwards as you busied yourself with covering Haechan who you could tell with your side vision bit into his cheek, staring at you intently. 

"Honestly..." Haechan brought your attention to his lips, while your hands reached to his chest with a blanket "You look very pretty tonight..." You pressed your palms against Haechan's chest when you felt his palm very up your thigh, you could feel his fingers tight on your bum. Your heart hitched,  you needed immediate medical help but all you got is Haechan’s tightened grip as he felt your body lose balance and give in to him a little "Like, saying this as a friend, very pretty." he added, moving his hand up onto your waist to prove to you it was a friendly gesture indeed. Like he was just trying to help you keep your balance.

"Thank you." you gulped, reaching out to put one more blanket over the boys body, when you felt a little like giving in. It didn't really have to be all the way him, you felt like you had to give him something too. You couldn't really process your own thoughts let alone processing whatever was happening between you two. You sat back down onto your knees next to Haechan, smoothing out the blanket like a caring person over a sick someone. Haechan watched you intently, it almost felt like he could see the thought process inside you, not moving and giving you all the time you needed. You leaned in to him slowly, Haechan's hand sliding up your back the closer you got to him. Your eyes ran over his features, he was as attractive as you could remember him being that day you felt for the first time that he can be attractive. You thought back for a second and wondered if that day even was the first time you thought about him in that way. 

You moved one of the hands that supported you from Haechan's chest onto his cheek. You really wanted to caress his cheek like that since that time he rested his head on your lap. You ran the fingers up the skin and it felt even softer than what you imagined. Haechan smiled under your touch, sincerely, you could feel that because you just witnessed him being sincerely happy with his friends. You were feeling overwhelmed with the fact he was right under you, open to anything you would suggest and do. He never felt more real and sincere than now even though he wasn't saying anything at all. You could feel your ears burn with everything you felt for Lee Haechan. His hand that now rested at the back of your neck didn't give you any pressure at all. It felt like it was there just in case you were about to dissappear and he'd catch you. 

You pecked the corner of his lips quicker than he would be able to process it, quicker than you were able to process it yourself. Haechan's head moved in your direction as you were pulling away, he tried to catch your lips with his but you paced away and he let you move as far as you wanted to. 

"I want more." He whined, moving his other hand onto your waist.

"As a friend?" you mused, feeling his hand crawl from the back of your neck to grip onto your face. 

"Yeah, as a friend." he smiled even more, his palm now pulling you closer to him. You gave in kissing the other corner of Haechan's mouth. His eyes closed, letting you know he liked it. You smiled to yourself, you've seen Haechan at the peak of pleasure numerous times but somehow the face expression he made now made you the happiest. You pecked his jaw, peppering more confident kisses all the way down his neck, Haechan's fingers still holding onto your face in the process. 

"Straddle me." he groaned, as you raised your head to wet your lips.

"My dress's too tight, I can't." your pointing finger touched his neck softly where the lipstick stain was visible, Haechan's skin reacted to the touch, sending chills to the back of his neck.  

"Why'd you wear something like that..." Haechan looked you in the eyes. "Always trying to make things harder for me, even with the clothes you wear. Right, baby?" you held back a gasp the very last moment before it escaped your throat. It must've looked terrifying from Haechan's perspective, your face expression, like you were about to pass out just at the sudden pet name once again. You froze a little because it was hard for you to process the next steps. Haechan on the other hand moved under you, freeing his body of all those blankets you carefully placed on his body not that long ago. His legs spread more and you sat back on your heels to not get in his way and watched what he was up to. He pulled himself more against the backrest, trying to pull the pillow behind him to the side and making you giggle. 

"These are sewed on this."

"Shit." Haechan swallowed a laugh, suddenly grabbing onto your thighs to guide you next to him on the other side of his body. His hand guarded your neck from the uncomfortable pillow-less side of the couch, comfortably wrapping around your body. His other hand guided your legs over his thigh and covered the both of you with the blankets. You kept your body a little distanced from Haechan, at least it's upper part. It only felt comfortable to rest your head on his chest, so you did that, making the both of you closer than before. Haechan slid his hand down to hug your waist and both your hands locked round his neck. It felt a bit surreal if you were to think about it, you were volunteerely snuggling with Lee Haechan of all people, at a party. 

Haechan was finally done with piling back onto you all those blankets, creeping up a hand onto your cheek. It quite literally felt like a fever dream. Feeling Haechan's fingers on your freezing skin, while staring into your eyes so sweetly and deeply. Your heart skipped a bit when he licked his lips suddenly, making it feel like he'd lean in and kiss you now. He didn't, though, and it really felt like a teasing contest and despite both contestants very clearly dying to touch each other's lips and get lost in each other, they held back with the very last strings of sanity and didn't want to lose that competition. Haechan's fingers ran through your cheek consistently, you would've purred if he'd kiss you in reward. 

"I feel dizzy." Haechan commented, breaking the silence between you two. Dear lord, if only the boy knew how dizzy you felt from keeping yourself composed. 

"Are you sea sick? Did you have too many drinks?" you blabbered. It was a little too clear he didn't feel actually sick. 

"No I'm dizzy because of you." He voiced out what you were feeling, you were so overwhelmed with his presence and his warmth and the fact he smelled so good and so... dear to your heart, your fingers pulled his neck more against your face. Haechan moved more, getting his lips against your cheek. 

"I need you to know, I like you so much." his lips pressed against your cheek as he said it, making his nose press against you aswell. You felt like he entirely pushed you more against his body. You needed medical help, immediately. Your heart wasn't used to this sort of emotions. 

"Shut up." you shot back immediately to hide the gasp that exceeded you, instead of a thought thrugh answer. You didn't expect him to be so blatant after all the pining you've put yourself through, you would've never guessed he'd say something like that. But then again, you were constantly proven you can never know what will be Haechan's next move. 

"I'm serious." he pressed and forced your eyes to find his. 

"How much did you have to drink?" you tried to back out. It was so terribly difficult for you to jump over the metaphorical wall so suddenly, let him know verbally that everything he felt was mutual. Surprisingly you turned out to be more stubborn in that sence than Haechan himself. 

"I didn't have a single drink, which I know is not in any way relatable to you. Still, I'm not able to get your guard completely down and have your heart open for me." Your eyes ran down his neck and chest. 

"It is, open." you mumbled. "I... you can clearly tell everything is the same for me? Don't make me struggle." Your fingers played with the fabric of his shirt on the shoulder, while your brain fought back and didn't let you say you liked Haechan even more than he could've imagined. 

"Look me in the eyes, at least." He whispered and your eyes moved back to his face but were unable to focus on them. Haechan moved his head towards you at the same time and the second you caught up with his actions you felt his lips on yours. 

Something between a moan and a cry exceeded your mouth. Your hands gripped immediately onto his neck with force, even if Haechan intended on keeping the kiss sweet and slow he quickly scratched those intentions when he could feel how badly you needed him. 

He felt just like that last kiss that lingered on your lips for weeks. You loved his lips like that, warm, plump and all yours. He clearly was more than ready to speed up the pace and once it was clear the two of you were on the same page, Haechan deepend the kiss. He sucked on your lower lip, slowly turning you onto your back. He clearly forgot about your dress situation, trying to place himself between your legs. 

Haechan's hand carefully held the back of your head to not hurt you from the solid armrests of the couch. Your tongues started a battle that was impossible to win. Haechan's other hand firmly gripped onto your waist, while his leg finally was able to get between yours. You almost found it in you to worry about the dress getting ruined and stretched out but you felt Haechan's mouth leave yours and the sudden breath of fresh air made yourself even more dizzy than before. You lost all the thoughts in your brain. 

Your fingers ran through the boys hair, brushing the strands back and making a whole mess in place of his hairstyle. Haechan leaned back to peck your lips, then lowering his lips to your neck. You tightened your fingers in his locks, forcing a purr from his throat, that happend to land on your neck. Your hips moved against his thigh unconsciously, making yourself heated in a whole different way. 

"Haechan." you half moaned. His tongue played with the skin of your neck, drawing tiny lines and sucking it in with his lips. As his chin moved the fabric of the dress lower down your skin, Haechan's licks and sucks became more aggressive, in addition with little bites you could feel him suck in a hickey at the base of your neck.

Your center rubbed against his thigh unconsciously, while you were shivering under his touch, creating friction for Haechan as well.

"This is just a little reminder in case you're black out drunk and won't remember what boundaries we overstepped." he pecked the skin that must've been red and moved his face back in front of yours.

"I am not." you smiled at him and let go of his hair to hold his cheeks between your hands. They felt so soft, so velvety, and the way you squeezed them between your palms made him look like the softest person ever. 

"Then it's for me to know it wasn't just a fever dream." You smiled at him even wider, pulling his head closer and pecking his lips. Haechan kissed you back slowly, rubbing his body against yours in a very lazy manner. His mouth left yours, hiding his face against your neck, closer to your ear and nibbling on the skin there. It felt so good to have his body weight pressing you down that outside couch. You couldn't care less if someone was about to come outside, even if they did you wouldn't be able to move yourself an inch away from Haechan's body. Your only regret was that neither of you had magical powers so you'd be able to move to your bedroom this very moment and be able to have each other for the rest of the night. 

"Kiss me more." you whispered needy. Even you were dreading the clothing choice by now, you needed his touch, you needed the feeling of his skin on yours, anything that would make you a little more closer to him would do.

You were starting to get greedy, only recently you thought you'd die just from the kissing and now you needed more and more.  

Haechan raised his head and smashed his lips against yours, smirking for a slight second beforehand. 

"So needy for my kisses and just a week ago you acted like you never wanted to kiss me." he mumbled into your mouth. 

Haechan's body grinded against yours with full force now and you couldn't possibly ignore him getting hard on top of you. You definitely weren't about to have sex on the outside terrace of the boat and you hoped  he didn't think of that either. You had to find power in you to stop before it got painful for him. 

"Haechan-ah." you moved your head back only to be followed and caught with his lips once again. "Baby?" you placed your palms on his chest, pushing the boy away. You tried the pet name to get his attention and it clearly worked. Your own heart did a flip, you couldn't imagine what he felt, you definitely smashed a few layers of bricks on your metaphorical wall with a cannonball "Don't you think we need to slow down?" you asked softly, directing your eyes between your bodies. You felt like Haechan's cock twitched in his pants. 

"Right." he cleared his throat and pushed his weight off your body, extending his arms to keep the distance. He stared at you for a good second, leaning back to peck you quickly. "I do need to cool down a little." you gave him a nod and watched him get up with a smile. You sat back on the couch, Haechan making himself comfortable right next to you. His pants did look terribly uncomfortable on him now, you noticed and you were hoping the cool wind would help him calm down quickly because it wasn't like you wanted to give him a blowjob in the middle of a party. Or more like maybe you did, but not right here in a public setting and besides that you wouldn't let him know even that you had the thought, he'd get even more excited than before. 

"I'm sorry, I should've pulled you off me the moment I felt you." You moved closer and rested your chin on his shoulder. "Do you need a blanket?" you asked, Haechan's head turning in response and getting too close to you to resist to kiss him. Before he could answer you closed that centimetre between you and pecked his lips quickly. 

"No, I need the calm down, don't kiss me." he grunted in a cute way. 

"It's just a peck." you tried to hold back a smile. 

"It's your needy stare and your lips on mine and everything else and I don't think I'm going to calm down while you're here."

"So you're excited just by presence?" you teased. 

"Very much." He replied coolly. 

"I'm never eating sugar again."

"Why?" he furrowed his eyebrows confused. 

"Sugar combined with the new side of your personality will probably give me diabetes." you smiled at him expectantly, Haechan giggled, hiding his face in his palms. 

"You're so stupid." he shook his head in his hands. "You're very lucky I'm blinded by love otherwise I would've booed you."

"It was a good joke." you mumbled, trying really hard to act nonchalantly at his words. Blinded by love, was he about to say he loved you right on that couch too? You were feeling sick to your stomach. 

It got quiet between you two once again, you wondered what he thought of to calm himself down. You were just enjoying the comfortable silence right next to the boy you liked. 

You sneaked your hand in the space between his arm and his thigh, facing it upward and extending your arm further, for Haechan to properly see it in his lap and be able to interact with it. You rested your cheek against his shoulder once again. 

You were very much thankful for the cool breeze outside because your palm was currently sweating and the nerversness was crawling up your throat. You hoped the gesture was clear enough for him to act on it, but you closed your eyes in case of failure. Haechan shuffled under you and you opened your eyes to see what he was doing, and he was looking at you, bending his neck given your current position. 

Once he saw you look back at him his head turned back to look down his lap, where your hand was. You couldn't feel how you started to bite your lip in nervousness but you could very clearly feel Haechan's freezing cold palm land on yours. You opened your fingers and as he did the same, you interwind your palms. His grip was tight around your fingers and you did the same, letting him know you were serious about it. Haechan forced your hands up and to his lips, kissing the back of your palm. You wrinkled your face in relieve, even though it seemed more like you were in pain, and kissed his shoulder. 

He then proceeded to fall back against the backrest and you did the same, hands still in each other's hold. You sat hand in hand for a little while, feeling so good next to him without any excessive intimacy. You couldn't remember when or how both of you started kissing again. The kiss wasn't as passionate as before, the both of you filled that longing and now both your brains knew it ain't going to be the same as before, you won't have to hold back your feelings. You kissed steadily, Haechan's thumb slowly caressing your palm in his hold. 

"We should go back." you mumbled through the kiss. "Your friends and my friends must be looking for us."

"They clearly aren't." he giggled. You smiled and couldn't agree more. You probably spent outside at least two hours, in which there was no signs of Eunsoo, the girl that promised to get you a drink. 

"What if someone walks in on us being too explicit?" 

"No one will, besides, i don't think we're in any way explicit by now."

"How'd you know? The doors are open. You're just lying to me, right?" 

"No, Jeno keeps everyone occupied."

"You're lying?"

"I'm being serious, I'm not going to lie to you anymore."

"So you'll tell me why you skipped our presentation?" you voiced out the question you wanted to ask him for a while now. 

"I-" he sighed like he was suddenly tired "Can I not?" he asked softly. 

"No, you really hurt me. If we want to go further, I want to know why." 

"It was the trial day for that stupid case. I totally forgot about it because I was with you all the time but Jeno texted me if I'm going to be on time the next day and I was so confused." Haechan trailed off, looking into the water, like he didn't want to tell you the bad news and you blinked multiple times to not get yourself worked up. 

"What were you sentenced to?" You asked concerned but moreover scared. You were so scared it'd be something bad it'll break your heart.

"My case was closed for lack of evidence." You sighed loudly, not even trying to hide from him you were relieved. "I didn’t steal anything and I was clean because I was with you when they were doing shit..." Haechan looked you in the eyes again, squeezing your palm. "Its thanks to you I am here today with no probation period or some other shit. They made me come as a witness, but I don't really know anything and even if I did I would've never said a thing." 

"I'm so glad you're fine." you let him know. 

"I know. I should really stay next to you to stay out of trouble." you smirked and then giggled and hid your face in the crook of his neck next. Haechan stared at you teasingly and you couldn't resist running away from those eyes. 

"Okay, maybe we should come back inside." you gave him a nod against his skin. "Can we stay close to each other for the rest of the night?" 

"I have to see my friends too tho." you rose your head up to see him.

"And tell them all about me?" he smirked and you couldn't stop thinking how attractive he looked that very moment. 

"No, Sua doesn't really like you. I have to prepare her before saying anything" You came up with the mildest version you could at the spot. You didn't want to make him upset and tell him neither of them seemed to like the idea of Haechan right next to you and you weren't in the mental state yet to explain to them everything. Or explain anything to him, it felt perfectly enough for you to just have this little secret between you two. 

"But you do?" Haechan let go of your hand to enjoy your reply. 

"Shut up." you teased, forcing yourself to unglue from the boy and stend up. It's needless to say it was a difficult task to finish. 

Now that you could feel how breezy it was outside you wanted to just fall back into the warmth Haechan shared with you. You turned around checking out the boy that still sat on the couch, giving you a blank stare. 

"You're staying here?" 

"I'll follow behind." he smiled and watched you take a step away. 

"Okay." you gave him a nod and walked away further, turning away to properly walk inside. You were getting cold with how long it was taking you to walk back in. As your feet almost brought you inside you turned around with the door half opened. Watching Haechan get up and walk around the couch towards you. His eyes were set on his phone and he probably thought you were already inside, when you ran back to him, catching him off guard mid-way. 

"I need you to know too, that I like you a lot." you said in one breath, holding on to his waist. Haechan beamed a smile and you couldn't resist smiling back. His fingers quickly found your cheeks to hold you in place for a quick kiss before you finally turned around and walked back in, scanning the room for Sua, Eunsoo and Aeri. 

[silassinclair]

Hi!

Can I request Maddox with a darling who lives to read, maybe he catches her reading some old romance books in an abandoned house they shack up in or something like that

Btw I live your writing ♥️

As someone who loves to read I am obligated to write for this req 😤🫡 Thanks for the request tho!! Hope you like it :-)

Yandere Wild West Outlaw x Bookworm Reader

CW// Maddox is annoying, Reader being a little perv Masterlist Here!!

The new house Maddox found was lovely. It had decently okay furniture and a vast collection of old books on the shelf. It's small with only two bedrooms and one bathroom but it was charming. But what caught your interest was the big oak wood bookshelf. You couldn't even remember the last time you picked up a book. Being on the run with Maddox made time fly.

"Who would leave all these books behind? They're all in great condition." You mutter to yourself as you take a blue and purple book with gold trim off the shelf. Tracing your fingers down the spine of the hardcover novel you appreciate the craftsmanship. It was clearly expensive, something you could no longer afford. Your Dad bought you many books like these but now you were pretty much broke. You only had Maddox to rely on now.

Speaking of Maddox you had no clue where he was. Which you didn't really care, he always disturbed your peace. Cracking open the book you sit down on the loveseat and start reading. It was a romance book about a huntsman who fell in love with a duchess. The story was beautiful as it was exhilarating.

"Oh wow, you into that kinda stuff?"

You snap the book shut instantly, a mini cloud of dust poofs from the pages. Maddox chuckles huskily behind you, leaning down and resting his chin on the back of the loveseat.

"Oh don't be embarrassed princess, it was getting to the good part. What did it say again? Oh! Ahem-"

Maddox coughs into his hand and smirks. Deepening his voice he quotes the passage in a deep, British-like accent,

"He caresses the duchess' milky thighs, her womb felt of silk wrapped around his ma-"

"OH HUSH!" You whip around and smack the outlaw's head, his hat nearly flying off. But he only laughs at your flustered state.

"You're filthy." You groan and put the book back on the shelf where it was. But Maddox follows behind you and takes the book into his own hands and opens it up. Skimming through the pages he smirks.

"I'm filthy? Sweetheart you're the one readin' this junk." Maddox shuts the book and puts it back. Putting his hand up on the shelf he leans against it while looking down at your shorter self.

"Well it is a romance book." Rolling your eyes you choose a different book. This time you pick a title you're familiar with, Pride and Prejudice.

"Now leave me alone you brute. I'd like to relax for once." With that you walk away and go outside. Finding a nice tree you sit beneath it and read the book. Reading reminded you of home, the home that was ripped from you. In a way it was escapism which is unhealthy but a girl can dream right?

Hours pass and the sun begins to set, casting an orange glow across the cloudy sky. The words on the page become harder to read as the sun sinks lower and the moon rises. You didn't want it to end. You know you could read inside but that damn outlaw was inside. You just wanted to stay out here forever with the natural ambience of wind and birds.

Footsteps approach you and you already know who it is. Looking up you see him. Black denim jeans, a burgundy vest, twin revolvers around his waist, and a dark brown cowboy hat on his head. And of course that bandana covering the bottom half of his face. Anytime you asked him about his face he got ticked off so you avoided the subject. But you couldn't help but be curious.

"You're starin' sweetheart." His husky voice breaks the silence. There’s a hint of a Spanish accent mixed in with his Southern drawl. You can't help but think about what it would be like if you and him met under different circumstances. Would he save you from bandits? Offer to buy you a drink at the saloon?

Would you two have a storybook romance just like in the books you adore?

"Hey."

He's right in front of you now, crouched to your height. His gloved hand pets your hair and you're frozen. He has you in a trance that you make no effort to free yourself from. His dark amber eyes are crinkled in slight concern over your unusual silence.

"What..?" You say softly.

"It's gettin' dark. Unless you wanna be dinner for the coyotes then I suggest comin' back in. I'll cook up some beans so hurry your little bum up."

Well there goes the moment. You groan and get up off the grass, your back cracking as you stretch. Your eyes watch as Maddox walks back into the house. His hips sway as he walks, you never really payed attention to that before. His ass looks pretty round in those pants to-

"Ugh, what is wrong with me.." Groaning, you follow after him.

[chrollohearttags]

idk if u have anymore locked and loaded away but can we get some more musician!eren hcs/traits…just a crumb even. im on the side of the road shaking my cup🙏🏾

oh babes, I got more than I know what to do with. Gather round and I’ll share with you all my never ending lore for the loml. 🤍

EJ is a clown. His favorite pastime outside of music is being an S tier menace. He loves picking at everybody 😭 (y/n), Jean, Mika, his own MAMA..nobody is off limits when he gets started. He is an asshole and proud of it. (he once told Mika she was jealous of him because she was bald headed and he wasn’t. Sis tried to break his nose but then remembered she needed him for a performance that night 😩)

he can play over 10 different instruments and proficiently at that! His main is guitar and drums but he’s naturally gifted so any instrument he puts his hands on, he can learn fairly quickly.

he won’t attend awards shows unless his whole crew is invited too. Don’t matter if it’s the Grammys, BET, VMA’s..if his whole team isn’t there, he’s not going. And they definitely forget it if (y/n) isn’t on the list.

he HAS to have at least an hour before shows to be completely alone and decompress, otherwise, he’ll be messing up all night. He has severe anxiety so it makes it hard for him to concentrate if too much is going on before hand. He’ll spend the time meditating or listening to music and smoking.

his ultimate goal is to one day start his own label. He wants to work with more female artists because he feels there are “a lot of dudes using women for clout but never wanting to put them on.”

also adding to that, Eren swears he is not a dancer but decided to let (y/n) do choreography for his latest song and he ended up liking it so much, that he incorporated it into his latest performance.

(haven’t quite delved into this yet so not giving away too much!) but there is one person who eren credits his musical career to and for pushing him to go for it. His exact quote: “there’s so many people who’ve helped me throughout my journey. That I have to thank for getting me this far but as for who really made this possible? Well..she’s no longer here and I wish she was. I wish she could see how far I’ve come and I only hope that she’s smiling down on me. I hope I made her proud.”

he lovessss sitting in on (y/n)’s practice sessions! Not even on some sexual shit, it truly fascinated him seeing his girl do all of these intricate pole tricks without falling or missing a beat. He realizes how much work goes into learning it and respects your talent. He even posts vids to his Instagram story, showing you off.

during the time of the [p word that shall not be named] he and Armin put their DJ’ing skills to good use and entertained their fans. They started a little thing on Instagram live called “Club Passion” where they would dress up in these cheesy ass fits, pretend they were hosting events and have people join in the live. They’d play music, be drinking and even host twerk contests where they’d CashApp the winner a prize. (A very unserious duo 😭)

for the more devious of the traits, he’s a demon and a half when he drinks. He has zero limits or shame. Including in the bedroom. RIP to (y/n)’s cervix cause he has no control.

he is a habitual bed/headboard breaker 😩🥴 do with that what you will.

he doesn’t believe in cheating or open relationships, but he’ll gladly let you share him with your girls and vice versa. (Niesha’s definitely his favorite but he won’t tell his best friend that 🤭) And if he’s feeling extra deviant, he’ll let you pick a fan of his to do some thangs with. “As long as she doesn’t go running her mouth, I’m with whatever y’all wanna do.” He definitely has a few videos of you guys’ escapades saved in his phone. (the NDA’s stay ready!)

[charlithepuppeteer]

school bus graveyard incorrect quotes pt. 1

Ashlynn: What's two plus two?

Aiden: Math.

Ashlynn: ...I will accept that answer.

_______________________________________________

Logan: I started school with straight A’s. Now I’m not even straight.

_______________________________________________

Logan: *talking about Aiden’s funeral* You do know we’re burying a great person today!

Tyler, shocked: Did someone else die?

_______________________________________________

Ashlynn: Nothing feels better than winning Monopoly. Not love, not sex, not free pizza, nothing!

Tyler: I’m sorry, have you tried pizza?

Ashlynn: Yes, and it doesn’t compare to owning half the board and watching the light die from your friend’s eyes as you take their money and feel your friendship slowly deteriorate.

Aiden: I like you.

_______________________________________________

Logan: *working in a flower shop and minding their own business*

Tyler, storming into the store and slapping $20 on the counter: HOW DO I PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVELY SAY “FUCK YOU” IN FLOWER???

_______________________________________________

Taylor: Why are you two always out during rainstorms?

Ben, typing: It’s so peaceful and refreshing. I love the smell of rain.

Aiden: Tyler bet me I couldn’t get struck by lighting, but they’re WRONG.

_______________________________________________

Aiden: Am I going to far?

Taylor: No, no, no. You went too far about 7 hours ago. Now you’re going to prison.

_______________________________________________

Aiden: Comparing Taylor and phantoms is like comparing apples and oranges.

Taylor: We’re both unique in our own ways?

Aiden: Apples are superior in every way and all oranges should be eliminated.

phantoms: Which one of us is the orange?

(I think we all know the answer to that)

_______________________________________________

Aiden: The shadow realm? No, I’m sending you to Ohio!

_______________________________________________

Aiden: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!

Ashlynn: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.

Aiden: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?

Ashlynn: Somehow that's worse.

_______________________________________________

*While planning to break in somewhere*

Aiden: Hey, let's do "Get Help!"

Ashlynn: What?

Aiden: "Get Help."

Ashlynn: No.

Aiden: C'mon, you love it!

Ashlynn: I hate it.

Aiden: It's great! It works every time!

Ashlynn: It's humiliating.

Aiden: Do you have a better plan?

Ashlynn: No.

Aiden: We're doing it!

Ashlynn: We are not doing "Get Help!"

*A Minute Later*

Aiden, carrying Ashlynn: Get help! Please! They're dying! Help Them! *throws Ashlynn at guards, knocking them out*

Aiden: Ahh, classic!

Ashlynn: *gets up* I still hate it. It's humiliating.

Aiden, laughing: Not for me, it's not.

(aww~. couple banter)

_______________________________________________

Aiden: I hate when people ask me, 'What did you do today?' Buddy listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don't KNOW!

_______________________________________________

Aiden: School sucks.

Ashlynn: I know, but you have to do it so you can get a job.

Aiden: What are jobs like?

Ashlynn: They suck.

_______________________________________________

Aiden: If a demon possessed me, I’d just be like, “Okay, take it from here, good luck man.”

_______________________________________________

Aiden: *slams books down in front of Aiden*

Aiden: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It’s gonna be a long night.

Ashlynn: You could of said literally anything else.

Aiden: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble.

Ashlynn: I’m going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won’t win. I realize this now.

[b0nten]

HEY, MONA LISA, COME HOME

[SYNOPSIS] ˚⁀➷｡ you know you can’t roam without caesar. hanma reacting to you drawing him.

[NOTES] ˚⁀➷｡ this is so cute. not a kanye fan but i couldn’t help quoting flashing lights. hope this is to your liking anon <3

“whaddup, baby?” hanma waltzes into the living room, casually, as always. he greets you with a smile, but it dissipates once you don’t answer. he stands there eyeing you, and he can’t help but wonder what it is that you’re so concentrated on.

your eyes scan the weasel, and you let a big sigh out. your hands find their way to your temples and start massaging small circles. you close your eyes and sigh again. when the ritual is complete, you get up to go into the kitchen, but when your view expands, you’re scared of how and when hanma got into your apartment in the first place.

“what the fuck!” you scream and take a step back, almost falling, “shuji! when did you get here?!” you question and he just bursts out laughing.

“i’ve been here for… like ten minutes?” he says sarcastically, mimicking looking at a watch, but it’s just his bare wrist.

“oh.. i’m so sorry i didn’t see you..” you apologize and get closer to him, falling into his embrace.

“what’s bothering you, shortcake?” he asks, eyes softening on you figure.

“oh, nothing, that damn weasel just isn’t holding the paint correctly. thought i should spare some money, got this piece of crap instead of my regular ones. now i gotta suffer.” you half-laugh, and so does he.

“well, i’m assuming you’d like to have a break, right?” he says, lifting the white nylon bag he’s been holding all this time in his hand. “guess what i got.”

“ice cream is just what i needed, thank you, shuji.” you kiss him to on the cheek and snatch away the bag, running into the kitchen.

“hey! leave some for me!” he shouts from behind, following you.

you eat your ice cream and chat a bit. it’s refreshing, and when you finally sit back down to confront the painting, you actually feel optimistic. picking up a brush and an enormous tube of white paint, you bring the canvas back to square one. ready to start anew.

“i’m just gonna sit here and read… this, that okay with you?” hanma asks and randomly picks up a book.

“are you sure you want to read ulysses? that shit’s tough.” you smile while asking. he flips the book around in his hand and shrugs.

“i’ll manage, i’m a big boy.”

you nod and continue brainstorming for ideas. you scan the room, close your eyes, sing a song in your head, but seemingly nothing seems to spark up any ideas. your glance drifts off to hanma, peacefully reading the book you had warned him about.

then, something in your head lights up and you grab the paints and start it.

half an hour, an hour, two, it had been just three when the valhalla leader decided he had enough of that bullshit. the words were too many and reading all pf that book was tiresome. he got up and started stretching. once he turned to you, he couldn’t not notice how deeply invested you were in that painting.

slowly creeping behind you as not to bother or disturb your work, he wondered what it could be that your were painting so passionately. once he saw it, his heart dropped, albeit in a good way.

there he was, sitting on your emerald sofa, manspreading, with the book in his hand. everything was down to a t, the kitchen behind you, the lights, even the colors of his clothes, not to mention his hair or facial expressions. you were working on what he thought was shading when he finally spoke up.

“you’d like to design a tattoo for me?”

you jump up, paintbrush flying into his face.

“shuji, babe, i’m so sorry!” you quickly snatch a wet wipe and clean his face, while continuing to apologize.

after maybe the tenth apology he takes your hand in his, chastely kissing it.

“i’m sorry for scaring you, baby.” he says, “but the offer’s serious. you’re crazy good, i look even hotter made out of oil paint.”

[sweetkpopmusings]

stray kids soulmate aus | h. hyunjin <3

a/n: eeeeeee my favorite kind of aus: soulmate aus!!! i was going to put all of the boys' pieces in the same post, but i could not resist writing more than a short blurb for them, so they are each getting their own post :,-) i'll add links to each of their names as i post these ! i'm not doing them in any particular order, but it felt right to start with the love of my life, hyunjin <33 pics not mine~

content: fluff, soulmate au | wc: 1.3k | warnings: none! | pairing: soulmate!hyunjin x gn!reader | requests: open

♡ chan | minho | changbin | hyunjin | jisung | felix | seungmin | jeongin ♡

each soulmate has half a quote that is important to their relationship tattooed on their body.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

hyunjin rubbed his fingers over that one spot on his collarbone. i remember we broke into. i remember we broke into. i remember we broke into. those words, the half of a whole, were the only tie he had to you. touching that engraving on his flesh was the closest he could come to being held by you, and he craved that comfort the most when his heart raced like this. 

today was the kind of day hyunjin wished would wrap up sooner than later. he knew it wouldn’t, not when the sun had only recently risen and his day had started hours ago. days like this, full of schedules, full of practice, full of work, full of stress–these were the days that went on forever. adrenaline and caffeine buzzed through his body. hyunjin was ready to race through the day, fully aware that his limbs would ache at the finish line, leaving him with nothing to do but collapse into rest as soon as it was over. 

i remember we broke into. i remember we broke into. i remember we broke into. 

hyunjin had missed chan calling his name five times, forcing his eyes to turn in the general direction of chan’s whereabouts when he finally replied, “yeah?”

“we are going to the convenience store. want to come with?”

chan’s question came out as more of a suggestion, and hyunjin did not need much convincing to get a change of scenery. he caught up with his members, walking quickly at the back of the group, his feet falling on the ground in a steady beat of i remember we broke into. maybe the stress had his mind too jumbled to be down on earth. maybe he was lost in questions of what in the world the other half of that quote could be. maybe he was annoyed that he forgot to bring his good sunglasses on a day the sun was shining brightly. maybe he simply yearned for his bed and a break. regardless of the reason, something preoccupied hyunjin, which caused him to bump his shoulder against someone else’s body. 

“ah!” hyunjin grabbed his shoulder.

“i’m sorry! are you okay?”

one of your hands clasped the shoulder with which you had hit hyunjin. in your other hand, you held something that captured all of hyunjin’s attention: a banana man plushie, fitted with a deadpan expression and a bright yellow hoodie. hyunjin, without registering much else of the situation, burst out laughing. you were surprised by this, to say the least. however, once you followed his gaze and saw that he couldn’t take his eyes off your friend’s birthday gift in your hand, you burst into laughter yourself. that banana man, in that moment, was the funniest thing in the world. you and hyunjin knew that for a fact when you felt your stomachs cramp and ache from the laughter. the way that you two were giggling and fighting for air was nothing short of contagious, so all the people walking around you started to believe that the plushie was top-tier entertainment. not that either of you noticed, when all of your attention was focused on something special between you.

hyunjin took a gasp of air he desperately needed. while the banana man was captivating, he looked toward the source of the laughter that mixed so sweetly with his own, and he found you.   for the first time that day, his eyes completely focused on the world in front of him. hyunjin couldn’t look away, and, heart fluttering with a joy and excitement he didn’t quite understand, he smiled and savored the sound of your final chuckles. after you caught your breath, you absentmindedly massaged the point of contact on your shoulder, and you waited for hyunjin to answer your previous question. he stared at you, confusion furrowing his brow slightly, until he felt a small pang in his shoulder and remembered you two had just crashed into each other. 

“yeah, yeah, i–i am. sorry, are you..are you okay?”

you nodded, endeared by his light laughs lingering in the air, the way he stumbled over words as he caught his breath, and his brown eyes. there was a pause, so you moved your hand away from your shoulder to grab your bag, though you had absolutely no intention to leave. something held you there; this moment between you and the beautiful boy in front of you wasn’t meant to end yet (or, at least, you weren’t ready for it to). unbeknownst to you, that simple movement of your hand revealed a tattoo just like hyunjin’s. the words were different, but the script, placement, size, and even the slant of it beneath your collarbone was a mirror image of the words hyunjin carried on his body.

laughter when we saw each other.

hyunjin’s heart raced.

laughter when we saw each other. 

his pulse found a new rhythm, one his mind fell perfectly into step with, as his eyes danced across each letter on your skin.

laughter when we saw each other. laughter when we saw each other. laughter when we saw each other.

hyunjin’s jaw dropped. you looked back at the wide-eyed man, unsure as to why you telling him that you were okay after your collision was shocking news.

“i remember we broke into laughter when we saw each other,” hyunjin said softly.

you heard him perfectly clear, though you weren’t entirely sure what he meant by that, so you teased him, “we did just see each other, so i hope you’d remember that.”

he smiled, another quick laugh falling from his lips as he moved his shirt collar to reveal the words on his collarbone, “i remember we broke into laughter when we saw each other.”

now your jaw dropped, “oh my god.”

a flurry of butterflies unleashed in hyunjin’s stomach because he couldn’t believe how cute you looked when shock and wonder filled your expression, but he managed to ask, “do you know what it’s from?”

“no, i–”

your answer was interrupted by chan calling out hyunjin’s name. hyunjin whipped his head toward him, signaled with a wave of his hand that he’d be there shortly, and returned his attention to you. you stared at his collarbone, seeing the tattooed words clearly, despite the fabric of his shirt covering them. he giggled as he reached his hand out to you, a new contact page opened on his phone.

without having to think, you accepted the phone and typed in your number, “i don’t think i’ve heard that before.”

“well, i have to go back to work, but would you be able to look it up and send me what you find?”

“of course,” your fingertips brushed against his when you handed the phone back, and you smiled brightly in response to the soft electricity.

“i’m hyunjin.”

“i’m y/n.”

he inhaled as though he were smelling freshly baked bread, and serenity washed over him, “i’ll see you soon, y/n.”

“i sure hope so, with us being soulmates and all.”

he laughed as he waved goodbye, and you laughed as you watched him walk away. i remember we broke into laughter when we saw each other.

unable to resist the temptation, you stepped out of the flow of pedestrians and typed those words into the search bar. Ada Limón’s “What I Didn’t Know Before” popped up immediately. reading the last four lines over and over again, you felt butterflies swarm your stomach and certainty rush through your heart.

“I remember we broke into laughter / when we saw each other. What was between / us wasn't a fragile thing to be coddled, cooed / over. It came out fully formed, ready to run."

this poem was, without a doubt in your mind, the correct solution to the question you had been asking your whole life. you also knew, without a doubt in your mind, hyunjin was the right person to hold your heart, after it had been calling out to someone from its first beat. you sent hyunjin a link to the poem, holding on tightly to the banana man plushie as you walked toward your next destination.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[readingwiththereids]

yanda! speaks: hello my pretties! as promised, here is chapter 2! again, minimal carm so i’m sorry but we do get to see camila interact with the rest of the gang <3 hope you like it, don’t forget to like and reblog! lots of love and light 🤎

masterlist

night rain ; chapter 2

2022

Emilia was hyper and extremely difficult to tire out. Even after a two-hour trip to the park filled with nonstop monkey bars and swings, the young girl still always had another activity in mind for her and her mother to do. And that was why Camila was currently trying to stop Emilia from jumping from couch to chair and cracking her head open as they played “pirates”.

“Emmy, I swear to God if you jump, I won’t make you pudding for a week.” Camila yelled as she eyed her daughter sternly.

As the toddler huffed and sat down on the arm of the couch, a muffled ringtone sounded from under the pile of toys on the living room floor prompting Cam to rush to answer. It was Tina.

“Mami? ¿Qué pasó?” [What happened?]

“Why would you assume something happened, Camila? What if I just wanted to hear your voice?”

“Because when I tried to call you during the day last week you told me to, and I quote, ‘hop off your dick’.”

“Okay but that was different, I actually want something from you now.”

“So you do need something.” Camila chuckled into the speaker.

“Yes. Yes, whatever, God you’re just as bad as the new girl.”

“Who?” 

“No one. Could you please be my darling daughter and bring me one of my extra clean aprons? Your boyfriend won’t stop yelling at me about it.”

Ignoring the way her mother referred to Carmy, Camila replied watching Emilia start to yawn on the couch, “Are you aware that your darling daughter is also the mother to a two-year-old?” 

“Isn’t it nap time? Just bring her with, she can sleep in the car.”

A pause.

“Will you take care of her on Friday during the gala?” 

^^^^^^^^^

“I’ll be right back.” Camila whispered as she exited and locked her child in the car.

5 minutes. Just 5.

The woman thought as she hesitantly walked through the door of The Beef before being met with almost half a dozen bodies hovering around what seemed to be sandwiches.

“Cam?” 

Marcus spotted her first, immediately walking around the group to engulf her in a huge bear hug. Suddenly everyone was surrounding her. She couldn’t even count how many hugs, kisses on the cheek and pats on the back she received from her chosen family. The commotion obviously summoned the king of noise and ruckus himself, Richie and an unknown girl with multi-coloured braids trailing behind him. 

“As I live and breathe!” Richie’s voice boomed through the front of house.

“Hey, Cousin.” Camila laughed as he picked her up and spun her around.

“Feel like I haven’t seen you in ages, Mini.”

“Likewise,” she said before turning to the girl she had yet to be introduced to. “Camila, nice to meet you.” she smiled.

“Hi! My name’s Sydney, I’m staging today.”

“Awesome, I hope everyone’s made you feel welcome.” 

Angel stepped in, clearing up the confusion on Sydney’s side. “Cam is Tina’s daughter.” 

“And Carmen’s ex-girlfriend.” Ebra loudly whispered.

“Ebraheim, you know you can’t whisper.” Tina rolled her eyes, slapping his arm.

Breaking the awkwardness, Sweeps walked up to Camila with a sandwich in his hand. “Yo, you gotta try this.”

“Holy shit, this is fu-”

“Fucking fire, we know!” Richie groaned. “I don’t know why you all act like Cousin shits out a golden egg every time he makes something, nothing is that good!”

“Well, have you tried it, Richard?” Camila asked.

The scruffy man paused before shaking his head as if that was one of the most absurd questions anyone had ever dared to utter in his presence.

“Exactly,” Cam continued. “Also, I’ve seen you eat a slice of pizza off the floor in the middle of Millennium Park, so I’m not entirely sure if your standards are up to code, Rich.”

That statement resulted in many exclaims and expressions of disgust, amusement and pure shock which were all interrupted when the kitchen door slammed open.

“Alright! Everyone stop standing around, we only have an hour left till-”

When Camen looked up from his phone and saw the very reason his employees refused to get back to work, he froze. Believe it or not, this was the first time in three years that he had seen Camila’s face. After she left, she never told him where she went, removed him from all her social media, left some money for him to pay off their apartment and basically disappeared off of the face of the earth. It hit him hard at first but he soon realised that he had to just keep going, keep himself busy, which his career did a fine job at. 

However, it still felt weird seeing her again. Not exactly like reopening an old wound but rather reminding him of one that never really healed, that he’d just forgotten was still hurting.

Due to his train of thought, Carmy failed to notice that the room had almost entirely cleared out, leaving just him and the woman he’d been in love with once (and honestly was still in love with).

“Hi.” he eventually croaked out.

“Hi.” she smiled sadly.

yanda! speaks (again): cam in her bad mom era tbh. like girl why are you leaving your child in the car in the middle of river north?? 🤨

🏷️ list: @rexorangecouny @louderfortheback

[dm me to get on the tag list :b]

[princeanon]

I made a modern adaptation of some R&J scenes (2.4 and 3.1) for a film project, and just had to share some of my favorite moments, in no particular order

“Queen Mab get to you again?”

- Benvolio, to Mercutio

The film was called Queen Mab, and it’s centered around Mercutio, with an emphasis on his dreams and hints to a time loop situation?

There was SO MUCH DOMESTIC BENCUTIO YOU HAVE NO IDEa

Like, Ben wakes Mercutio up and calls him sUnShiNe before handing him water

Also, he calls Mercutio “Merc” a few times throughout the film

All of the characters names are shortened in the script purely because I didn’t want to type them every time (Tybalt=Ty, Benvolio=Ben, Mercutio=Merc, Romeo=Ro, and Juliet was just Juliet)

Ben is CONSTANTLY checking his phone for texts from Romeo like he’s so worried poor guy

Meanwhile Merc is tormenting him

“I can see it now:

Here lies Romeo. Died from being left on read.”

- Mercutio, about Romeo’s crush on Rosaline

Ben extends an arm to Merc as they leave, and he takes it before grabbing his dagger

When they go to find Romeo, Ben brings a notebook with him that disappears once the Merc and Tybalt fight starts

Ben is wearing a shirt that says “MERCUTIO IS MY HOMEBOY”

a necklace with a purple gem (👀)

a cute blue and green jacket

and a beanie that does not fit properly at all

Meanwhile Merc is wearing a purple MIT shirt

When Ben and Merc spot Romeo, they hide behind a tree like those classic cartoons where you can only see their upper half sticking out of the tree

Our Romeo & Juliet were in a production of Sound of Music together as Maria and Von Trapp respectively so when I told them to act in love in the distance, they just started doing the Laendler choreography

Ben shows Tybalt’s “challenge” for Romeo to Merc via his phone, which implies that Tybalt texted Benvolio and was like “hey man can you let your cousin know I wanna fight him?”

We needed a shot of our Tybalt appearing behind Ben & Merc, and Ty was insistent that he climb a nearby tree and jump out of it

That shot took 15+ takes before we even got to his part, so he spent the better part of half an hour sitting in a tree waiting for his queue.

He jumped down too early during one take and had to re-climb the tree

Merc boops Ben several times throughout the film, and we had a few very flirtatious takes that didn’t make the Final Cut because we kept breaking character

“Careful, Good Benvolio, your irrefutable temper is showing”

- Merc to Ben when he complains about Romeo’s terrible decision-making skills

He calls him “Benny boy”

During one take, he accidentally said “bunny boy” and I told him he could definitely do that purposely if he wanted

Tybalt had recently done a production of R&J, so he asked to add the “peace be with you” line into the script, which I 100% supported, we spent a while during the shoot just quoting R&J back and forth, and he noticed all of my references in the script

Romeo was instructed to enter the Tybalt scene after a specific line, so he hid around the corner and FULLY RAN into the scene yelling “GUYS GUYS YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT I—“

Romeo is taller than both Ben and Merc, and he almost tackles both during his entrance

Oh my gosh Romeo and Tybalt have some kind of bromance going on IRL which is so fun but it was so difficult to get the two of them to pay attention because they were just hanging out with each other

Romeo had a line that goes “woah, Tybalt, calm down” and instead he said “Yoooo, Tybalt, chill out man” which made all of us break

When Tybalt confronts Romeo, you can hear a bird in the background, that stops the second Ty pulls out his dagger, which was accidental but iconic

I choreographed a sword fight, but Merc and Ty mostly improvised, they had a lot of fun

Our Juliet filmed the whole scene by the way, along with most of the other scenes

Also, in the script she had one line, in which she was supposed to say something with the word Capulet, and she kept joking to everyone that she was already off book

I ended up cutting the line for convenience and plot purposes, sorry Jules 😭

“Capulet”

- Not Juliet, since the line got cut

Romeo & Juliet joked about going to marriage counseling after they were struggling to film one of the scenes (J on camera, R with the boom mic)

They traded jobs after J accidentally filmed R for the entire take

In between shots, Ty and Merc were stabbing mushrooms with their daggers, Romeo was throwing rocks at a spider, and Juliet and I were just like, watching all of it happen

We had fake blood for Merc to put on his hand, and it ended up staining his hand so he spent like 10 minutes washing it off afterwards

When Merc dies, Ben holds his hand and rests his face against Merc’s head (also, he fully dies in Ben’s lap)

Then we went back and filmed the first scene and lemme tell you Mercutio is iconic but he was so so so bad at waking up

He kept asking me “how am I supposed to wake up???? How does one wake up scared???” And I was like “I don’t know man!!!!!”

Some lines taken directly from the play include “Romeo, my cousin Romeo!” (2.1) “A challenge, on my life” (2.4) “Come sir, your passado” (3.1) and of course, “Peace be with you” (3.1)

Also, Merc still calls Ty a ratcatcher, and Ty calls out to Ben and Merc by saying gentlemen

Yeah, it was a lot of fun. Took 4 hours of filming for a 4 minute long film, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I played Benvolio by the way. Probably should have mentioned that sooner.

[noramoons]

feels like we only go backwards

pairing: seo changbin x fem reader (afab)

genre: college au, frat boy!changbin

includes: angst, smut, (slight) fluff

rating: mature/18+ (minors DNI.)

warnings: mentions of drinking, food, language, explicit sexual content, friends with benefits, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it), a relationship that starts out toxic (please communicate with your romantic/sexual partners :D)

word count: 8.5k

summary: it’s been three years since you’ve seen changbin. you’ve gotten over your crush on him.

haven’t you?

This is, without a doubt, the worst frat party you've ever been to.

In all fairness, it's also the only frat party you've ever been to. You've spent almost the entirety of your college career away from this crowd; your goal has always been to get in and get out of university, nothing more, and nothing less, and you've done it in record time—just over three years, with your next semester also being your last. You're proud of yourself for how hard you've worked—how you've put your nose to the metaphorical grindstone and done nothing but work for three years, turning down all the party invitations, the weekend getaways, the spring break trips—all of it, so you could be done with school and get started on the part of your life that actually matters.

Well—you turned down most of them.

Your roommate, Saori, had begged you to go out with her this weekend—you’ve been such a stick in the mud (a direct quote!) for the past three years. She’s known you for years, your whole life, practically, and she says she misses who you used to be be. Back when you used to be fun. And it’s almost the end of the fall semester—there won’t be that many parties after this, after all.

So you agreed to go, albeit begrudgingly. Those goddamned emotions were finally getting to you again, of all things.

But now you're here. Saori had left you for the dance floor hours ago, leaving you with your back against the wall at the back of the room with a half-full red Solo cup in one hand. How revoltingly cliché.

You scan the room in front of you again. These kinds of parties have to only be fun if you're drunk—you can't understand the appeal otherwise. The dance floor across from you is full of nothing but senseless swaying and grinding, half of it not even on beat with the music booming in the speakers, reverberating in your chest and pounding against your ears.

It's on this final scan that you see a familiar face, though, and you nearly drop the plastic cup in your hand.

You almost laugh, but you don't.

Instead, you stare at the side profile of the man you think you'd recognize anywhere until he finally turns to make eye contact with you, and he looks just as surprised as you.

Seo Changbin.

"Y/N?"

You throw up your free hand in feigned defeat, plastering a fake smile on your lips instantly as he strolls over. You have an instant of mental panic thinking he's going to go in for a hug, but he saves you from your thoughts when he delivers a light punch to your shoulder.

"What are you doing here? I didn't know you even went to this school."

You let out a short laugh at that. "Yeah, I didn't know you did either. Kinda defeats the whole purpose of going to college this far away."

He cocks one eyebrow at you. "You came all this way just to avoid me?"

You make a face. "N-no, I meant people from high school. In general."

Changbin's grin widens. You could smack him. "Right."

You change the subject. "So...you're in this frat?"

He nods. "Sure am. Thought it would be a good way to meet people, get involved."

Right. "How's it been?" The small talk is killing you, you think, eating you away from the inside out—but you suppose it's better than the alternative. Besides, the two of you have always been good at this—practically lying to each other's faces to keep from actually having a serious conversation.

"It's been great, I've had an awesome time so far. I'm surprised I've never seen you before though—did you transfer?"

As if. "Oh, no—I came with my roommate. This, uh, isn't really my thing."

Changbin smirks at that. He lifts his index finger from being curled around the drink in his hand to point at the cup in yours. "That your first drink?"

You nod.

"I'll grab you another one. These are no fun if you're sober."

Funny—you'd just been thinking that. "Oh, Changbin, you don't have to, I—"

But he's already waving your words away as he walks towards the drink counter on the other side of the room.

He'd been your lab partner in chemistry senior year. God, you'd hated chemistry—but he hadn't. Rather, he'd taken to the subject like a duck to water, much to your chagrin—at least, until you realized he couldn't write an essay to save his life. A bargain was struck: he'd help you in chemistry, you'd help him in writing composition. Simple.

Simple. Which was exactly what it was supposed to be. And, in your defense, it had been, at first: his house wasn't even that far from yours. You'd walk over after school, or he'd knock on your door an hour or so after you got home. You'd exchange tips on your respective homework, and you'd return to your respective houses.

Before long, you're both doing well enough in your classes to stay afloat—but you still find yourself over at each other's houses several days of the week anyway. Half the time you don't even talk about school—you catch up on a show you're both becoming obsessed with, or he shows you a new song from some group you've never heard of, or you tell him about how crazy your parents are driving you this week, and he tells you about his ex-girlfriend being passive-aggressive towards him in the cafeteria, and it all still feels simple. Easy. Meant to be.

It still feels that way the day he kisses you on the couch in the middle of your movie marathon. You're glad you'd seen that movie before, because you don't end up getting to watch the end of it—or any of the sequels afterward. It's nothing more than background noise with Changbin's lips on your neck and his deft fingers unbuttoning the front of your jeans.

You barely make it in the front door the next time you come over before his hands are on you, and the time after that is the same way—all hurried, hushed words and soft kisses and clothes in a pile on his bedroom floor—and God, you've never known anything like this. You've fooled around before, maybe, but it almost scares you how fast you fall for Changbin. You had admired him long before you became lab partners in your shared chemistry class—you'd secretly been so glad when those classroom assignments had been announced, and you had been happy to just be friends at the beginning. This—whatever the two of you are now is more than you could have ever hoped for. It feels like all the pieces are falling into place.

That's why it's such a surprise when he doesn't ask you to come over the day before your next chemistry exam. You'd been planning a big study session for both of you—flashcards, color-coded notes, the works. And maybe you'd put on that pink set of lingerie he liked so much underneath your clothes that morning just in case anything else happened. Again.

Instead, he sends you a message, asking you to meet him in the parking lot after school. You'd felt that uneasy pit of nerves forming in the bottom of your stomach at the text, something you've never felt around him, and you hope you're just overthinking things.

You aren't.

Those last words of his to you stick in the front of your brain for weeks, like gum you can't get off the bottom of your shoe.

"I just don't think I can do anything like this right now. You know it hasn't been that long since Suran and I broke up, and I just think I might have moved too quickly on this."

You'd nodded quickly—too quickly, swallowing back tears as you did so. "Y-yeah, no, I get that. It's okay."

Changbin had given you a sad little smile. "You know, you can keep my jacket. If you want."

Asshole.

He'd said he didn't think he could do anything—so why had he done anything in the first place?

You're distracted from your thoughts when he returns with another red cup, holding it out towards you. "How're classes going?"

You almost miss the smirk that flashes across his face for a brief instant as he watches you down the rest of your drink in one gulp, taking the new cup from his outstretched hand. "Alright, I guess. How about you?"

Changbin shrugs. "Same here. What's your major again?"

'Again—' as if he'd asked before. "Communications."

"Oh, nice!" he says, nodding. "I'm in music production."

You almost let out a laugh. "Music production, huh? What, are you on SoundCloud, too?"

His grin only widens. "Want me to send you my link? Or you could come over and listen to it, sometime," he adds with a wink.

You laugh, despite yourself—and maybe it's the alcohol in your system loosening the tension in your chest, and maybe it isn't—but you feel suddenly stricken with the reminder that the two of you were friends, once. And he'd been easy to get along with, easier than any other guy you'd ever hung around.

Those first few weeks after you'd broken up (could you even say you'd broken up, really, if you'd never actually been together?) had been weird, to say the least. You'd done horrible on the exam the following day, something you would spend the entire rest of the semester making up for, and neither of you said a word to each other for weeks, about the class or otherwise. It wasn't until the next test rolled around that you reluctantly suggested comparing notes again—after school, of course, and in the coffee shop downtown. You weren't letting him in your house again, and you certainly weren't going over to his.

It had struck you in that moment, too, how well the two of you got along—sure, it had been awkward at first, pulling out your notes and talking about chemical titrations again like nothing had happened—but maybe it was better this way. You both work better as friends, clearly, so maybe that's all you should ever aim to be. At least you have this.

You think about that as your gaze flickers back up to his. You should say no, you think. You should yell at him for being such a pretentious dick, for not even bringing up how you'd left things senior year—but you don't. Instead, a half-smile crawls its way up the side of your mouth before you can stop it. "Sure."

~~~

It had scared you, those years ago, how quickly you'd fallen for him. Now, it scares you how easy you're able to fall into a routine again with him—as if nothing at all had happened. As if you're simply picking up from the last day of your shared chemistry class.

You still have an infuriating amount of things in common—you may even have more of the same interests now than you did in high school. You still watch the same shows, listen to the same music—and you'd be lying if you said he wasn't talented in that department, too. He invites you over one night while he works on an assignment with a few other students from the music department, and they're all good. Unbelievably so.

You fit in well with his friends, too—they're all just as funny and quick-witted as Changbin. Seeing him laugh again—especially when you're the cause of it, making him laugh that hearty, musical chuckle with something you said or did feels better than you remember.

You're all laughing together one night, playing a stupid drinking game at your apartment, and the alcohol in your system isn't the only thing making you feel so light headed. Changbin keeps grabbing hold of your shoulder when he laughs, throwing his head back and holding on to you for support, and you're suddenly having a hard time remembering why you'd been so stressed to see him nearly a month ago at that party.

The oldest of Changbin's friends—Chan, the grad student, points at you as he tries to stifle his laughter. "You lost!" he says, a little too gleefully. "Again!"

"Okay, okay! I get it, I'm going!" you shout over the noise of the music playing in the background, shooting him a fake grimace as you throw back another shot of vodka as punishment for not knowing the drummer for some obscure band you've never heard of.

They all cheer when you slam the empty shot glass back on the counter, and now you're the one giggling as you hold onto Changbin for support. He shoves your shoulder lightly when he notices, but he doesn't push you off of him.

"Alright, alright," Chan starts again once the commotion starts to quiet down again. "Changbin's turn. Truth or dare?"

Changbin shrugs. "Truth."

"Okay. What was the first thing I asked you last year in Professor Jang’s class?"

Changbin tilts his head to the side, but he only has to think for a few moments. "'Do you have a pencil I could borrow?'"

There's an immediate chorus of laughter around the circle, Jisung's laugh heard almost above everyone else's from your left. "He's too good at these, man. Changbin's no fun with these games."

Chan waves his words away. "Quit complaining already, it's your turn. You lost last round, so you get to ask."

Jisung scans the circle. "Alright...Hyunjin. Truth or dare?"

Hyunjin takes a moment to decide. "Dare."

Jisung, however, doesn't take long to choose a dare. "You should kiss Y/N."

You feel like everything slows down immediately, as if you're suddenly completely sober. All four pairs of eyes are on you, looking you up and down—including Hyunjin's.

You meet his gaze right back.

"You don't have to, you know," Chan reminds Hyunjin (and the rest of the group). "You can always take the shot instead."

Hyunjin's eyes haven't left yours. "I know."

You think you'd probably be panicking internally if you were sober—this is only the second time you've seen Hyunjin, and you were decidedly much less tipsy the first time you'd met. Not to mention the fact that he's practically Adonis reincarnated—you'd have to be blind to not notice the sharp cut of his jawline or the fullness of his lips.

But you aren't sober now—and that's probably what gives you the courage to take a step closer to him. The rest of the group practically melts away when he cups a hand under your jaw, tilting your head up to press his lips to yours in a brief kiss—hardly more than a peck, really, but you're brought back to Earth by the cacophony of cheers from the men around you, taking a step back as Hyunjin lets go of your jaw, both of you grinning sheepishly.

Your eyes flicker past Hyunjin, to the man right behind him, and your blood practically runs cold when you see the look in Changbin's eyes—the quiet kind of anger you've only ever seen on him a handful of times.

You suddenly feel a twinge of guilt—why? There's no reason for you to be thinking about him. There's no reason for you to feel guilty about doing anything without his permission, for Christ's sake—you couldn't be less involved if you tried. And yet, you think about that inexplicable emotion in his eyes, that clench of his jaw with his hands in his pockets, for long after the party ends.

~~~

This is stupid, you think.

Changbin's ignoring you. There's not a doubt in your mind.

You'd been meeting Changbin at least once a week for food or studying before that party—he'd text you or you'd text him. It's been three weeks since that now-infamous party, since your barely-there-kiss with Hyunjin, and there's been nothing from Changbin. Complete radio silence.

You tell yourself you don't care. You've gotten by for three whole years since high school with scarcely a thought about the man. Surely you can carry on now without seeing him every now and then.

You don't care. You don't.

Which is definitely why you practically jump out of your seat when his name pops up at the top of your notifications.

s.c

> you going to jisung's tonight?

y/n

< hadn't planned to lol. is something happening?

s.c

> we're doing a movie night

> i told him to text you like a week ago lmao

You could've told me, you think. You're reminded of the feeling you'd had at that first frat party where you'd seen Changbin, almost three months ago now—you knew as well as you knew your own name then that you should have said no when he asked you to come over.

s.c.

> you coming? it's at 8

You should say no this time.

y/n

< yeah, i'll see you there

~~~

Changbin's friends are, to put it nicely, absolutely terrible chefs.

Chan and Jisung had meant to make pizza rolls for the group, using the oven they were so happy to have in the apartment to feed their friends with. Once everyone comes over, however, the rolls are all but forgotten in the commotion of six people talking in the apartment all at once—at least, until Hyunjin suddenly smells something in the kitchen, he says. Something really bad.

Both Chan and Jisung let out an anguished yell at the same time—"the pizza rolls!—" but it's far too late for the blackened, melted orbs in the oven that were once frozen rolls. 

There's only a few other things the boys keep in the pantry that you could even consider edible—which is how you find yourself on the couch a few hours later, a bowl of stale popcorn on your lap and a half-empty bottle of water in the other.

Half the men had fallen asleep in the middle of the first movie, and the rest had dozen off somewhere in the second. You're the only person awake to catch the end of the trilogy, but you find that you don't really mind, even if it's a movie you've seen once or twice before. There's something impossibly and almost beautifully serene in the moment—five other men around you, who have been some of the loudest people you've ever met, all perfectly quiet and asleep, empty bags of chips and candies strewn around them on the other couches and armchairs. It's an unusual scene, but it's one that you find yourself comfortably content in anyway.

Once the movie's over, you tell yourself you're going to go home, letting the TV go on autoplay as it selects another random movie to begin as you slowly rise up from the couch, trying your utmost not to disturb any of the sleeping men in the room.

At least, you'd thought they'd all been asleep.

A hand clasps at your wrist as you move to stand.

You look down. "Changbin?" you whisper, sitting back down as slowly as you can. "I thought you were asleep."

He shakes his head, moving to sit up beside you on the couch. "I've been awake for a bit. That movie bored me half to death."

You laugh quietly. "I didn't think it was that bad. Not like that stupid space series you used to be so fond of, though."

Changbin gasps, clutching his chest in mock offense. "I can't believe this, Y/N. We're too different these days," he says, laughing. "We used to be so similar."

There's a pang in your heart at those words. You had been so similar, once. There was a time, albeit a brief one, where you did everything together, and it had felt so right. Like you'd been meant to do so.

He grins, continuing. "I'm glad we're friends again."

A soft smile flies to your lips before you're even aware of it. "I'm glad we are, too."

You sit in that moment of contentment with him for just a moment too long, or maybe not long enough, before you feel it shift. You're suddenly aware of his hand on your knee—when did it get there?—but his eyes are still locked on yours. You find that you aren't entirely surprised at all when his free hand comes up to cup your chin and his lips press to yours, softly. Hesitantly. And when he pulls back again, waiting to see if you shove him off of you, to stand up and walk away like you know you should, but you don't, you aren't surprised when he kisses you again, deeper this time, because this feels right, too. Like you'd known he was going to do this all along.

You curl your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck as you kiss him back, and the soft sound of a groan into your mouth at your actions makes you feel far prouder than you probably should. In return, he squeezes at your knee, sliding his hand up your thigh to rest at your waist as you maneuver against him, practically sitting in his lap at this point.

The kisses turn more intense quickly, neither of you stopping until you're both left gasping against each other's lips, Changbin kneading at the skin of your waist reassuringly. But you don't miss the way his eyes flicker down to the waistband of your jeans, slowly moving a hand to gently rest over the button. "Is this okay?" he whispers, his warm breath cascading over your lips and making you shiver all the way from the top of your spine down. You know what he's asking.

But you know you shouldn't. For fuck's sake—there are four other men in the room, fast asleep on different couches and the floor, and you don't think you could ever look any of them in the eye again if they woke up to Changbin fucking you at what was supposed to be a movie night with friends. "Changbin," you start. "I don't know if we're—"

He guesses how the end of your sentence was going to go. "Hey," he reassures you. "If you want to, this doesn't have to be anything. No strings," he says, mimicking a pair of scissors cutting with the hand not currently resting on your stomach.

That hadn’t been what you’d meant, but you wish he'd said something like that when you'd known him back in high school. You should've known back then that Seo Changbin has never wanted an actual relationship with you—not in the way that you want. Used to want.

No, your mind corrects. Look at how quickly he's wrapped you around his finger again. You absolutely still want him, regardless of what had happened in the past—there's no point in lying to yourself anymore. Maybe it'll be different this time.

You know that's a mistake to think. It has to be. But the way you feel is the truth—a part of you has hoped, since that fateful moment in the parking lot nearly four years ago, now, that you'd end up in this exact situation, with Changbin wanting you again. You've tried to lie to yourself for years. But you still know this isn't healthy.

You kiss him as an answer anyway.

~~~

You'd thought it had been easy to fall into a friendly routine with Changbin before, fitting into each other's schedules to study or watch movies like you'd made your schedules for each other. Falling into a friends-with-benefits routine is almost easier—he eats you out before class, or you suck him off after an exam he'd been particularly worried about, or the two of you fuck in between note-taking sessions. It works surprisingly well, and you think again that this is the only way you and Changbin seem to be able to work. And you're happy with that, even if you can't stop that ping in your heart every time he leaves almost immediately after cleaning the two of you up.

Your roommate catches him walking out one day as she returns to your apartment from class, and you wince at the thought of having to explain whatever the hell you and Changbin are—you hope she'll find it slightly awkward and just avoid the subject altogether.

You have no such luck.

Saori raises an eyebrow before gesturing to the door behind her. "Who was that?"

"Changbin," you say plainly, as if that explains anything. "He's a friend from high school."

She stares at you for a beat too long. "Just a friend?"

You take a moment too long to answer, and she immediately crosses the room to plop on the couch next to you. "Spill. Now."

And you do—you think you may have needed to tell someone about all of this a long time ago, because it seems like once you start, you can't stop, seemingly talking for hours.

The only time Saori interrupts you is at the end—she can tell you just need to vent. "So...why do you like this guy, again?"

You almost laugh, but you think the fact that it takes you a moment to think of an answer is telling in and of itself. "I...I always looked up to him in high school. I still do now—he's so talented, and smart, and funny, and it feels like a miracle that he wants to keep someone like me around."

She frowns at that. "Someone like you?' Y/N, you're one of the most talented, smartest, and funniest people I know. You've got everything this guy has and then some. Why are you so convinced he's out of your league?"

That is something you don't have an answer for. "I think I'm just happy to have him around at all, whatever that means."

Her eyes widen with concern. "Y/N...there's no way you don't hear how that sounds." She lets out a shallow laugh. "He's funny and cool, maybe, but he's still just a guy. Come on. You deserve better than someone who just gets to pick and choose when you get to do anything. Having a friend with benefits is one thing, if it's truly 'no strings attached,' but it's not, is it?" she asks softly. "I don't think it's ever been."

You wish you had an answer for you why'd become so fixated on Changbin—why you were willing to let him treat you this way, why you were so willing to let him be oblivious to your feelings. But you don't have one. Your heart had picked him a long time ago, and it's refused to let go ever since. Affection apparently does ridiculous things to people, after all. "So...should I tell him? How I feel?"

Saori licks her lips nervously. "I think so. I think you should cut off the friends-with-benefits for sure—it's not fair to either of you since you're obviously on different pages about it. And you deserve someone better who won't just look past how you obviously feel."

You know she's right. You know what it is that you have to do.

You just don't know if you can do it.

~~~

Changbin texts you the next day that's he's coming over to work on homework. Of course, you know what that's code for (sitting between his legs while he reworks the same song for the seemingly thousandth time), but you're convinced you can tell him what you need to tell him, that it's time to end this weird, vicious cycle you've wrapped yourselves in because of your own feelings. At least, you hope you can.

But you can tell something is different from the moment he walks in the door to your apartment—there's a strangeness in the way he's carrying himself, in the set of his shoulders that you know you've never seen from him before.

You try to discard the observation, attributing it to your own nerves about the situation as he sets his backpack down beside the coffee table and pulls out his laptop, offering you a brief smile before getting to work.

You let him work in silence for a bit, going through your own pages of notes to summarize what you need to for the essay that's due next week, but you can't focus on any of it in the slightest, the words on the pages all swirling around in your mind and combining into one massive mess at the forefront of your thoughts.

You set down your notes, clearing your throat to speak just as Changbin takes his headphones off and sets them aside on the couch. "Y/N," he starts, shifting in his seat. "Do you mind if we talk for a minute?"

You nod, maybe too quickly. "Yeah, I—I actually wanted to talk to you today, too."

He nods. "Okay—great. I, um—there's no easy way to say this, is there?"

You feel a lump forming in your throat. No way.

"I...I'm not sure if we should do...this," he says, gesturing with one hand at the space in between the two of you, "anymore. It's completely my fault—I think I've made it to be something in my head that it's not. If you're okay with going back to being friends, that's fine, but if you're not, I'd totally understand, too."

You don't know what to say. You're in shock, frankly, and you feel like your mouth may even be comically hanging open.

He's breaking off the friends-with-benefits. He wouldn't even let you have the moment of getting to decide it for yourself.

The haze that you've felt over your mind about Changbin for the past several months finally, finally evaporates—you see your emotions clearly for the first time. You feel like a shaken-up bottle of soda, and his words are the catalyst that finally flick the cap off.

You speak, finally. "I'm sorry—you're breaking it off? You think this is unhealthy?" You scoff. "You've got to be fucking joking."

Changbin frowns. It's obviously not the response he thought he was going to get from you. "Y/N, I—"

You don't let him finish. "Changbin, I...I've been practically head over heels for you since high school. I let you treat me however you wanted because for whatever reason, my stupid brain picked you, of all people, to fixate on. I was fine with just being friends. I was fine with being your occasional fling, all because I just wanted to be around you—and you're the one who thinks this is unhealthy?" You let out a short laugh. "You're right. It is. And I should've seen that a long, long time ago. So if anyone's calling this thing off, it's me."

Changbin stares at you for a long, long time—you almost keep going with what you've said before, just to break the uncomfortable silence you've created, before he opens his mouth to speak again. "You...you've liked me? Since high school?"

You throw your hands in the air in exasperation. "Yes!" you say. "I thought that was obvious."

He slowly shakes his head from side to side. "Y/N....I thought you'd hated me, after how fucking immature I was senior year."

You let out a sigh. "I wanted to. Believe me, I really, really wanted to—but I didn't. I was mad at you for a while, sure, but I've never hated you."

Changbin's eyes still haven't left yours. "I...Y/N, the reason I wanted to call this off is because I like you. I didn't say anything because I didn't dare think you could ever feel the same way after how stupid I was in high school, just treating you as a rebound when you deserve so much better than that. I was surprised that you were okay being friends with benefits, but I never let myself think you'd ever want anything more than that."

It takes you a long time to process everything he's just said. "...What?" you whisper. You think about how long you've wanted him to say something like that—you wonder if this is all a dream. Is it something you really still want to hear from him? "Changbin, I was going to call off the friends-with-benefits today because I'm tired of liking you and not doing anything about it. I...I never would have ever guessed that you felt the same way." You let out a nervous laugh as you shake your head in disbelief. "Why are we so fucking bad at being honest with each other?"

Changbin lets out an uneasy laugh too. "I don't know. I just didn't want to fuck this up—I like you too much for that. I didn't ever want to push you past what you were comfortable with, but I...I guess I still did. Y/N—I'm so, so sorry."

You can't believe this. You really can't—but this is real. Changbin's sitting in front of you, right now, and he's saying something you never thought you'd hear him say in your entire lifetime. "What about back in high school?" you ask, trying to keep the sudden nervousness out of your voice. "When you told me you didn't think this would work, that you'd moved on from your ex too quickly...dammit, Changbin, why did you do anything to begin with?"

He winces. "Y/N—I should have apologized for that a long time ago. I pushed you away from me back then because I was scared. I was eighteen, and an idiot, and I'd just gotten out a relationship that had lasted way too long and...and I was falling for you. Really fast. And that scared me, so the only thing I could think to do was push you away where I couldn't hurt you."

You take in his words for a moment. You think about how you would have done anything for him to say something like that three years ago—but maybe that was immature, too. Is he different now? Are you? Certainly—but clearly neither of you are any better at communicating how you feel, too afraid to step on the other's toes.

You let out another sigh, your breath still shaky. "This is...insane, honestly. I wish we could just start over, somehow—undo whatever the hell this is that we've gotten ourselves into."

He nods. "I...I think we can do that. If that's something you want—I'd be more than willing to try."

You laugh. "Changbin, I really—"

But you look down to see Changbin's outstretched arm pointing towards you before you can say anything else. "Hi," he says. "My name's Changbin. I like you."

You stare at his hand in utter disbelief—disbelief that he's doing this, disbelief that the two of you have gotten to this point that you never thought you'd get to—for only a moment before you clasp his hand in yours. "I'm Y/N," you say, decidedly. "I like you too."

It seems stupidly comical for the situation you've found yourselves in—but you both dissolve into laughter within an instant, mostly out of relief. "God, Y/N," Changbin says, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. If you can forgive me for being so stupid, I...I'll be amazed, honestly, but—I promise I'll be better. I'll do everything I can to be better."

You take a deep breath. "I need to be better, too," you say honestly. "I should've been upfront about how I felt so we didn't get into this mess of trying not to make the other person uncomfortable, even if we both felt the same way. If...if you want to try again, I'll do everything I can to be better, too."

Changbin nods. "I...I think you deserve better than me," he says, swallowing uneasily.

He's probably right. "I know," you say, and his expression doesn't change. "But for whatever reason, I don't want better than you. I still just want you."

The relief in his eyes is palpable as he lets a small, soft smile appear on his lips at your words. "Y/N...I know we just met," he says, his smile growing slightly wider at his own joke, "but—can I kiss you?"

You smile at him, too. "So forward," you tease, biting back a smile. "But yes, man I just met—you can kiss me."

That grin widens ever so slightly before he cups your cheek with his palm, leaning in to press his lips to yours. He kisses you, but it doesn't feel at all like that kiss you'd shared in Jisung's living room—rather, the soft touch of his lips to yours feels like that first kiss you'd ever had with him, on the couch of your childhood home, where you'd been so hopeful of what the future with him held.

You know that was foolish, now—but that was then. Now, that you're both older, better, smarter (maybe), determined to make a change and actually tell each other the things you feel when you feel them—you feel a new kind of hope for what you could have with Changbin.

Regardless of that, you still can't believe that you'd psyched yourself up last night to break your friends-with-benefits situation off with him, and now you're kissing him softly on your couch. "This doesn't feel real," you admit to him.

He grins at you. "It's real."

You shake your head, biting back a grin. "I don't believe you."

Changbin laughs at that. "You don't believe me? Damn. I guess I'll have to do something to make you believe this is real, then," he says, crashing his lips against yours again, gently winding his fingers through your hair and pulling you close to him, and he doesn't pull back away until both of you are gasping for breath.

"Well?" he asks, and you'd almost forgotten about what you'd started. "Did that feel real?"

You smile coyly, shaking your head. "No," you whisper. "I think I'm going to need a little more convincing than that."

You practically see the switch flip in his head when he finally, finally catches your meaning. "Hmm," he says, pretending to mull it over. "Let me see what I can do about that." Before you can blink, he's slid one hand under your knees and the other around your shoulders, lifting you into his arms with ease before he makes his way into your bedroom, tossing you haphazardly onto your bed before he crawls beside you, meeting your lips once more.

This is already decidedly different, and it warms your heart instantly—he’s only been in your room once or twice before, anyway. Your hookups before have almost always been in less-than traditional places, somewhere the two of you could get off quickly and hide the evidence quicker—a couch, his desk, that one time against the wall—but this is different. It's a small, minute difference, but it's practically night and day to you. It's a sign that this might be different.

So you kiss him back again, holding tighter to his arms above you as his hands slide down your body to tug at your hips. You feel him laugh softly when you shiver at the feeling of his hands on you, but his hands hover at the hem of your shirt—an unspoken question, but you know what he's asking. You take hold of his wrists and guide his hands under your shirt, and both of you let out a moan that feels positively electric as his hands skim your bare skin, running their way up to your chest and gently cupping, circling your nipples with his thumb before you tilts your head back against the pillow behind you, sighing into his mouth.

Changbin moves one of his hands out from under your shirt, feeling your breath on his fingers when he cups your chin with two fingers and brings your gaze back to his. "You're so beautiful, Y/N," he says.

He’s said this before, but you’ve never looked at each other this way, or for this long. There’s meaning behind what you feel now, not just unspoken hopes behind empty words, and that’s why your face flushes pink at his words, enough to bring a wider smile to his face at the reaction.

You lean your head to the side enough to kiss the inside of his wrist before he pulls his arm away. “You’re beautiful too, you know,” you say, and he grins back at you as his hands trail back down to the hem of your shirt, playing with the fabric gently. When he tugs it over your head, you let him, and you yank at the collar of his own shirt before he’s laughing, pulling his own shirt off to join yours on the floor beside your bed, just like how both of your pants and underwear follow until you’re both bare before each other—which, again, shouldn’t be anything new for either of you. It isn’t, frankly, but there is something new in the atmosphere, and you know he feels it too. There’s none of your usual hurriedness to disrobe each other, to get everything started as soon as possible so it can be over as soon possible, too—instead, his hands on yours are unbearably tender, rubbing over the skin of your arms, legs, and stomach softly like it’s the first time he’s ever touched you. You’re vulnerable underneath him in a way you’ve never been before—he knows your heart, now, and you know his.

He doesn’t stop the tender touches, squeezing reassuringly at your hips while he gives soft bites to the skin of your thighs, smoothing over the skin with his tongue before moving to where he knows you want him—where you need him. You shiver just at the feeling of his breath between your legs, and you know he can feel it when he smirks up at you. “You okay?” he asks teasingly.

You roll your eyes. “I should be, unless you keep taking your sweet time down—ah!” You cut yourself off inadvertently when he lays the flat of his tongue against you, licking one long stripe up your slit.

You feel him laugh quietly against you, the vibrations of his voice against your cunt enough to make you squeeze your thighs together, but he’s wrapping both arms around both your legs and pushing them further apart before you can even protest.

You cry out when he moves ever so slightly further upward, sucking hard at your clit that doesn’t take him any time at all to find, now—he knows your body so well, even if his hands on your skin are as gentle as if it’s your first time. It’s not long before he lets go of one of your thighs, moving a hand down so he can slip a finger, then two beside his tongue, pushing and curling in and out at an achingly slow pace to get you to beg for him—and you do.

“Ngh—Changbin,” you pant, grasping the ends of his hair in your hand. “Please.”

He increases the speed of his fingers ever so slowly as he pulls his mouth away from you, breath ghosting over your pussy. “You want me to make you come, sweet girl?”

You shake your head. You’ve never said no to him before, that’s for sure, but you can’t wait any longer. You need him inside of you—now. “Want you,” you manage to get out. “Need you inside of me.”

Changbin lets out a deep exhale. “Fuck, Y/N,” he groans as he pulls himself above you. “You really always know what to say.”

You very nearly laugh at that before you see him stroking himself once, twice, taking his bottom lip in his teeth with a hiss at the sight of you before lining his member up with your entrance. It’s a stretch you’ve grown accustomed to, certainly, but it still burns slightly as he pushes into you, watching your face when he finally bottoms out, hips against yours while he waits for you to tell him he can move.

You nod, wordlessly, and he leans down to land a quick kiss to your nose before he finally, finally starts to move inside of you. He starts at that same teasing pace as before, obviously enjoying the look of frustration on your face as you grasp at his shoulders. “What is it, Y/N?” he asks sweetly, grinning at you while he slowly fucks into you.

“‘Bin,” you gasp out when he just barely misses that spot inside of you that usually makes you see stars—and you know he’s doing it on purpose, too. Bastard. “Fuck me. Please.”

You see his grin drop almost immediately, clenching his jaw at your words and the nickname that you know drives him wild. “Baby,” he starts, grabbing a hold of the sheets on either side of your head as he starts fucking into you faster, rolling his hips into you the way he knows you like. “If you ask like that, I’ll never say no.”

Just the sight of him like this has you near the edge—none of that usual hurried nature, his eyebrows knit together as he tries to focus on being quiet enough so the two of you can make it last as long as possible—no, now he’s looking at you like you’re the only person in the world, like you hung the stars in the sky, the same stars that you see in his adoring eyes now.

You can only take so much of his beautifully intense gaze, though, paired with the bruising pace he starts to keep up between your legs, and you turn your head to the side in an attempt to muffle your moans against the pillow beside you.

Changbin, of course, will have absolutely none of that. He lets go of the sheets on one side to grab your chin again, tilting your head back towards his face, keeping you you from looking away. “Nuh-uh,” he chides, tightening his grip on your chin ever so slightly. “Let me see your pretty face like this, while you’re being so good for me.”

You let out another moan at his words, especially when he moves his other hand down to draw tight, slick circles on your clit. “Fuck,” you gasp, digging your fingers into his shoulders, pulling him as close to you as you can manage. “Feels so good—Changbin—”

He’s heard that warning tone in your voice enough to know what it means. “Feels so good for me too, baby—shit. I can’t believe I get to have you like this,” he groans as you tighten around him. “All mine.”

You are his—have been for probably longer than either of you knows. So you nod. “I’m yours,” you repeat, and you think his eyes nearly darken immediately at the admission. He swallows, nodding too.

“Mine.”

The sound of his skin slapping against yours fills the room, as crude as ever, but you can’t find it in yourself to care, no, not as his deft fingers speed up their ministrations against your clit while he continues to fuck you as hard as he can, coiling that pleasure below your stomach into a tight knot until you finally feel it snap with a cry of his name, shuddering as you arch your back against him—and Changbin isn’t far behind you, grabbing one side of your waist hard enough that you know you’ll have marks tomorrow as he thrusts back into you three, four more times before he reaches his own climax, stilling inside of you.

For a brief instant, you halfway expect him to pull out, clean the two of you up quickly, and leave for his own apartment the way he has before—but he doesn’t. Changbin lies there, on top of you with his forehead pressed lightly to yours, him softening inside of you for a few beautiful, quiet moments—at least, until you think you might stop breathing if he doesn’t get off of you. You shove at him lightly, but he gets the message, grinning against you before he rolls over to one side, keeping an arm slung around you while he gazes at the ceiling, the both of you slowly catching your breath in gradual exhales.

Now this, certainly, is different. You’d never let yourself lay in the afterglow with him like this, too afraid of the conclusions your hopeless romantic brain would draw if you let him hold you as you both came down from your highs, but he never stayed around very long afterwards, either. Now you know it may have very well been for the same reason.

He kisses the crown of your hair before pulling back to meet your gaze once more. “What are you doing tomorrow night?”

You almost feel like you’ve gotten whiplash from the question, seemingly coming out of nowhere. “What?”

Changbin’s grin widens slightly. “Can I take you out? On a real date? If you…you know, still want to try this.”

Oh. You laugh softly, feeling every worry you’ve had dissipate like a puddle under the warm sun. “Yes, Changbin. I’ll go out with you.”

He makes a show of wiping imaginary sweat from his brow. “Thank goodness.”

You continue to lay there, gazing at each other in an unbelievably loving way for longer than you could have ever anticipated Changbin to have the patience for—but you don’t feel uncomfortable under that gaze at all, occasionally moving a hand to comb through his hair as he strokes a thumb over your cheek.

You suppose you have no real way of knowing if this will be better than how your relationship with Changbin has been before—he’s said he’ll be better. You’ve said you’ll be better. What else can you go off of? All you can do, you think, is hope that you—the both of you—are better. That you’ll both do better for each other. It’s what you both deserve.

And as you feel his heartbeat slow down against you, his hands gently stroking the small of your back while he holds you as close to his chest as he can, you feel more optimistic about your chances of this—this beginning, the ending of the old chapter and the start line of a decidedly new one—occurring than you have in a long, long time.

taglist: @petrichor-han @kangroo-chan @ot7lonelylover @lilacdreams-00 @mainexiii @awkwardnesshabitat @lotus-dly @elizabeth11moreno @nerdysl-t @quinnsmindpalace​

©️ noramoons 2021-2022. do not translate or reupload my writing.

[jeanniebug623]

🕸️🕷️ Weaving the Web 🕷️🕸️

Chapter 3: News To Me

Quaritch was fuming as he stormed back to the command center. Ja’s words stabbed at his mind, reopening the still fresh wound from learning that the boy was subjected to excessive interrogation without his knowledge. 

You’d have to not be protected by them.  

Those were the words his trusted medic said when explaining how a sixteen-year-old human kid had their brain put through four progressively worsening modes of a blender. 

Restrictions Omitted.  

Who in their goddamn mind approved lifting protective restrictions when it was common knowledge that most prisoners were left with life-depreciating conditions? No more than invalids who couldn’t hold a spoon or their own piss half the time? Some prisons on Earth were no more than adult daycare. 

“General Ardmore.” Quaritch said louder than intended, not even announcing his presence before ducking into her office. Calm down. He repeated these words in his head constantly as the woman looked up from her computer screen but did not stop typing. Nothing threw the general off her game it seemed. 

“Colonel.” Ardmore acknowledged in response, “Two personal visits in one day. I’m flattered you have so much time to fit into your increasingly busy schedule.” 

“The boy.” Quaritch said lowly, unable to stop his ears from pinning back, “Miles Socorro.” 

“How is Mr. Socorro?” she asked casually. As if the boy didn’t have the physical manifestation of a psychotic break put him in the infirmary only hours prior. 

“I haven’t spoken with him yet. It seems his extensive interrogations before heading out into the wild may be responsible for his condition.” Quaritch growled. Keep calm and mind the attitude. These repeating mantras weren’t doing a good job at staving off the desire to flip the general’s desk clear across the room and enact his own interrogation on what the hell she was thinking. 

“Interesting.” Ardmore said as she stopped typing and stood up. She tented her fingers and leaned forward on her desk, leering up at the recom with no fear in her eyes. “He seemed like he recovered so well.” 

“He would be recovered if he wasn’t subjected to twice the legal limit of sessions in the neuroscanner.” Quaritch snapped and Ardmore went quiet for a moment. He thought maybe her silence was in response to him having found out about the ‘secret’ interrogation sessions. Maybe he’d caught her in the act of something she wanted to hide from him. 

But Ardmore was as difficult to disturb as she was to read. Cold, domineering, and unshakeable. Her next words certainly supported her reputation. 

“Twice the legal limit for Earth citizens, colonel.” Ardmore corrected coolly. 

“Spider is human.” Quaritch said quickly. The boy was born from human soldiers putting their lives on the line for the rest of humanity. And yet the son of Miles Quaritch and Paz Socorro wasn't considered a human worth protecting? 

“But not technically an Earth citizen.” Ardmore said with narrowing eyes. 

“Why would the humans born on Pandora be treated different than those born on Earth?” Quaritch asked, shaking his head and holding up his hands to pause the conversation. He could smell the political bullshit a mile away. Before Ardmore could answer, he continued, “What’s the point of colonizing this moon for the sake of humanity’s survival if we plan to punish future generations, the generations to carry on mankind, for where they’re born?” 

“Pandora isn’t exactly colonized yet, is it?” Ardmore asked with a dangerous tone, “The politics of Earth don’t extend to our prospering little colony yet. I seem to recall your genetic predecessor enacting martial law under his authority against RDA orders that resulted in his death. But you’re not that man. Right, Colonel Quaritch?” 

Quaritch had never felt such a mix of restraint and frustration like this before. Nor this primal desire to tear someone’s head off. Ardmore had quoted what he said to Spider in the cell. Of course she’d watched it. She was probably observing their interaction in real time when it happened. So, what? It was the Miles Quaritch’s fault his son was treated like a native and not a human being? The politics were bullshit and they both knew it. It was just a loophole to let them fully expend Spider’s usefulness when he fought so hard to say nothing. 

“No, ma’am.” Quaritch said through gritted teeth., “Should I assume it was under your authority this was approved?” 

Ardmore appraised Quaritch carefully before answering with specific terminology, “With medical guidance. Until Pandora and its inhabitants are pacified, we aren’t responsible for their welfare. Mankind’s future, colonel, is priority.” 

Everything was dripping red in Quaritch’s vision and how he wished it was Ardmore’s blood off his hands. He mentally sucker punched himself. Where was this unbridled rage coming from? Why didn’t he feel this same amount of drive to take out this anger on the Na’vi? If his genetic predecessor had been successful, none of this would have happened. Including Spider’s upbringing and current horrendous condition. That logic made it seem like it was his fault somehow...

“Colonel.” Ardmore said for a second time if he had to guess by her sterner tone, “You’re needed in the med bay.” 

The general’s eyes had dropped down to her computer screen somewhere in the time the colonel had frozen in his thoughts. Med bay? Shit...it had to be the kid. Quaritch managed to salute respectfully before leaving Ardmore’s office when he’d rather have left with a different hand signal.

“Talk to me, Lyle.” Quaritch said as he pressed his fingers to his throat comm and sped his way back towards the infirmary. 

“It’s not good, boss.” Wainfleet said back into Quaritch’s earpiece. 

Quaritch didn’t need any more motivation to pick up the pace and turn a ten-minute walk into less than five. He burst back into the infirmary’s waiting area and didn't even ask before Ja pointed him towards a hall with the sign “ICU RECOVERY”. His medic had a disturbed look on his face and followed his commanding officer without a word. Outside a room at the end of the row of doors, Quaritch saw Wainfleet pacing. 

“Wainfleet.” Quaritch said firmly. Wainfleet quickly strode forward to meet them, holding up his hands to stop the colonel from busting into the room. “Stand down, corporal.” 

“Sir, before you go in, something’s still off with that kid...” Wainfleet warned in the most cautious way possible. 

“Spider’s awake?” Quaritch inquired, a bit of relief coming to him that the boy woke up of his own accord. 

“Yea...and when they called him that, he went fucking crazy.” the corporal sighed. There was no way to avoid the truth. Spider was just as violent and unpredictable as he was before he passed out in the forest. “He attacked the orderly who said it and I had to pry him off the guy.” 

“Jesus Christ...” Quaritch said, tightly pinching the bridge of his nose. He knew if Spider was violent, he would be locked away for good. Or put down. He couldn't protect him if he was a threat.

“He’s in a four-point restraint at the moment.” Wainfleet informed quietly. He and Ja had to do most of the wrangling.  The second-in-command already felt guilty for the bruises he'd left on the kid just by holding him down. The colonel’s ears went back and pulled his hand down to reveal an exasperated expression. “Seems to be holding. He’s, uh, a strong kid. They wanted to sedate him, but I said to wait for your order on that, sir.” 

Quaritch scrubbed a hand down his face and nodded. He had to pull it together. He was still seething from his conversation with Ardmore, which was not finished by any means, but had to be composed if he was to face...whoever it was from the forest. 

“Appreciated, Lyle.” Quaritch said quietly. 

“You want me to go in too?” Wainfleet asked, ready to support his friend in this obviously confusing situation. 

“Nah...” he replied with a shake of his head. He appreciated the loyalty of his oldest friend from two lifetimes but whatever was going on with Spider had to be handled slowly. Quaritch had the personality traits of his predecessor; he had to see just how violent the boy could be when left unopposed. Maybe his recom self would still be sleeping while the human Quaritch was still in charge if he’d faced some opposition. 

Quaritch squared himself up and entered the recovery room. It was...a disaster. His eyes automatically faced the floor when he ducked under the door frame. As his eyes roved up, he saw blankets and pillows thrown on the floor and a broken chair against the wall. The smell of iron and bleach assaulted the recom’s already sensitive senses. IVs and monitor leads were scattered around and splatters of blood decorated on the white linoleum floor. He didn’t know whose blood it was yet... 

A low, eerily guttural chuckle drew Quaritch’s eyes up to the bed. There was Spider, bound to the bed by his wrists and ankles. It looked like the staff may have tried to put cross body restraints across him but based on the blood surrounding his mouth, someone may have been on the receiving end of gnashing teeth. 

The boy was terrifying to look at. Quaritch had seen how he acted when he was first taken into custody by the RDA. Snarling and cursing. Hissing and switching between languages. Honestly, it didn’t bother him. At least not like this. The way he acted in the cell was no different than the mannerisms he was used to from the Na’vi. It was more disappointing than anything. 

But the boy...this version of the boy was something else. He had a grin on his face that couldn’t be described as anything less than maniacal and furrowed his brows like a madman as he glared at the person who dared enter his room. Spider’s inner right elbow was bleeding from where an IV was ripped out, slow drops to the floor accompanied the annoying alarm coming from the heart monitor. He chuckled again, licking the blood off his upper teeth. 

Quaritch steeled himself, despite the difficulty of even finding his voice, before asking clearly, “Miles?” 

Spider smirked as his tilted his head and raised a single eyebrow, “...were you expecting someone else?” 

[withacapitalp]

“So….let me get this straight. It’s your little sister’s birthday, she gets home from tumbling in a half hour, and you both forgot that you promised you had the quote unquote perfect present for her,” 

Mike shot Robin a low level glare, crossing his arms and hunching his shoulders in tight. 

“We didn’t mean to forget! We’re busy, you know?” 

“Yes, so busy you forgot your sister even existed,” Robin shot back, having too much fun with their misery. 

Nancy had an excuse. She didn’t know what Mike was wasting his time on but she had been busy. Holly’s birthday was January 29th, which was right after Winter Break, and college letters would be coming soon. Nancy had to keep her GPA perfect, she had the newspaper to run, and she also was working on a potential internship for the summer in Indianapolis. It was logical she would forget about Holly’s birthday in all of that. Understandable. 

Wasn’t it? 

She was making up for it now at least. Holly would never know the difference. She was six, she would be happy with just about anything. 

Seven. She’s turning seven today. 

“We’re gonna watch her favorite movie with her and tell her that her present is a shopping day on Saturday. That’s a good gift, right?” Nancy said, a hint of desperation in her tone. Judging by the look Robin gave her, it wasn’t, but they were running out of options.

“Fine,” Robin sighed, rolling her eyes and pulling up to the computer, “What’s the movie?”

Silence. Awkward, terrible, uncomfortable, silence. 

“Seriously? Nothing?” Robin asked with an incredulous laugh. 

“It’s some stupid kid flick! She makes us watch it all the time. It has an -ie at the end right?” Mike asked, turning to Nancy who threw her hands up. She had absolutely zero clue and they had at most ten minutes to come home before their mother grounded them for the rest of their lives. 

Not to mention Holly was probably going to cry for at least two weeks straight. 

“ The Goonies . It has to be The Goonies. It has an -ie at the end, and she likes to rent that one, right?” Nancy said on an impulse, giving Robin a hopeful look. 

“Nancy, she’s not my sister. How could I possibly know what she likes?” 

“Gee thanks Robin, that’s so helpful,” Mike snarked, and Robin’s face twisted into a look that spelled all kinds of trouble. Things really couldn’t get worse. 

“What are you all doing?” 

It could get worse. Steve was coming out from the back, and now he was going to get to witness her complete and utter humiliation. 

“Oh you know, the usual,” Nancy groaned, covering her face with her hands. She was officially giving up, “We’re busy being the worst siblings in the world.”

“They forgot Holly’s birthday and now they don’t have a gift for her,” Robin said, sounding far too smug. Nancy wanted to curse her out, just a little bit. Stupid only children with their stupid self satisfaction. They never had to deal with bratty six year olds who cried at the drop of a hat and made everything about them. 

Seven. Seven years old. Holly was seven today.

“Oh,” Steve said, kneeling down and bringing up a rectangular box wrapped up in the Sunday morning funnies. He held it out to Nancy with a tiny smile,  “Here, you guys can just take this one. I was going to drop it off after work,” 

“You have a gift for Holly? You?” Mike asked dubiously, Nancy staring at the present like it was radioactive. 

“It’s her birthday,” Steve said simply, like that explained everything, “It’s nothing big, just a doll she had mentioned wanting a couple weeks back. She was in here with your mom renting Annie , and she said that the doll looked just like the little girl in her favorite movie.”

Robin smirked, slowly deleting The Goonies off of the computer and walking around to go look for Annie, leaving the Wheelers to try and put themselves together

“Steve- I-we-” Nancy sputtered, uncharacteristically lost for words. Her ex huffed out a laugh and began to punch something into the computer, taking the VHS holder from Robin when she skipped over, movie in hand. 

“Tell Holly I said Happy Birthday,” Steve said, putting the movie and the present in a paper bag and putting it on the counter, “Robs, I’m taking the last two minutes of my break to smoke,” 

He was walking out the back door before Nancy could wrap her mind around the words ‘Thank you’. 

[give-seconds]

A Husband and His (Ex) Best Friend

Paring: Johnny x female reader, past Jaehyun x reader

Summary: With all the planning for your wedding coming up, everything feels like it is going right. Soon, you and Johnny will be happily married and all that is left to do is to wait. But what happens when Jaehyun shows up out of the blue?

Warnings: mentions of cheating, none others that I can think of but let me know

Word count (part one): a little under 6K

Thanks to @pastelsicheng for reading the first quarter of this a billion years ago. Other than that quarter this is not proofread so let me know about any errors!!

“I like you and all, but I don’t know if I want you that close to me.”

“Where else am I supposed to sit if not next to you?”

“I don’t know. Not my problem.”

“Well, you better get used to me sitting close to you because I plan to stick around for a while.”

Johnny sighs, leaning back against the sofa. “Why do we have to do this again? Why can’t we just let them all fight for their seats?”

You laugh, turning your head dramatically to look at him. “Maybe because we decided this wedding was going to be ‘the fanciest wedding any of those suckers have ever been to.’”

“I don’t know who said that, but you really shouldn’t listen to whatever advice you hear. You can’t live your life so codependent all the time.”

You smack his arm, earning a side glare in response. “Okay, first of all, I’m not the one who bought all those cards and spent a good hour writing everyone’s name in a fancy font. Second, I was quoting you, and you know it. Don’t try and play dumb with me, Suh.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, l/n.”

“Good.” You place your elbow on the table, resting your head on top of your hand as you pick the pen back up. “Now, where do you want Mark to sit?”

“At the kids’ table.”

“You’re useless,” you sigh, dropping your arm and turning your head to smile at him.

“Good thing I’m leaving to go get Yoonoh from the airport.”

“You jerk, you planned this, didn’t you? Because now I’m stuck here, trying to figure out where to put people so a fight doesn’t break out.”

He scoffs, pushing himself up. “Who is going to fight at our wedding?”

“You’re letting Mark bring Donghyuck. Intentional or not, I feel it in my bones that Hyuck will start a fight with someone.”

“Well, you have the bones of a seventy-year-old man, so excuse me for not trusting what your bones say,” he jokes, walking into the kitchen.

You laugh, leaning your head against your hand, staring at the paper with little drawn tables. “At least I’m not a six-foot giant.”

He laughs, opening the front door. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

---

“Hey, y/n, I’m sorry to do this to you, but I have to drop Yoonoh off at the house and then run over to help Mark with something.”

“Oh, that’s okay.” You set the pen down, putting your phone on speaker so you could stretch back over the couch. “Did you get the guest room set up?”

“Ah, you see, about that...”

“Johnny,” you laugh, bringing your body forward. You can imagine the smile on his face. “You were supposed to do that this morning.”

“And I was, but then I got a bit… distracted.”

“Is ‘distracted’ when you ordered a Dairy Queen cake at nine in the morning to prove to Deven that you could eat half an eight-inch by yourself?”

“Mayhaps.”

You laugh, pushing yourself up. The look on your brother’s face as he watched Johnny eat the last slice of cake that would mark half and stammering about how he didn’t understand how someone so fit could eat that much is something you’ll remember for a long time. “Don’t worry about it. How far out are you?”

“If my calculations are correct, he should be knocking on the door any minute now.”

“You jerk! You couldn’t have given me more of a heads up?”

“Oh, you’re fine. Make him help you. He’s always one to help a damsel in distress.”  

You shake your head, walking to the front door to wait for Yoonoh's knock. “Are you trying to send your fiancée into the arms of another man?”

He chuckles, the sound making you smile. Four years of dating, and you still feel a sense of pride when you make him laugh.

“Oh, you know I am. I can finally be free.”

You gasp, and before you can respond, you hear a knock at the door. “Looks like it’s your lucky day. He’s here.”

“Go get ‘em, tiger.”

You laugh, softly saying a ‘bye’ before hanging up.

You open the door, a wide smile spread across your face, ready to meet Johnny’s best friend from Korea.

However, when you process the person in front of you, your smile drops.

“Oh, um,” he stammers nervously, blinking at you. He doesn’t say anything more he just looks at you. Breaking eye contact, he says, "I must have the wrong apartment. Do you happen to know where John Suh lives?"

You take a deep breath, opening the door wider to invite him in. “No, this is the right place.”

He doesn’t immediately walk in, again choosing to stare at you.

You sigh, dropping your hand from the door. “Close the door when you come in—I’m going to go make the guest bed.”

Not wanting to be around him anymore you quickly walk to the bathroom. Trying to push him out of your mind, you focus on putting yourself on autopilot as you grab two towels before heading to the guest room. Setting the towels on the bedside table, you grab the sheets from the closet.

“I can do this, y/n. You don’t need to worry about it.”

When did he come in? I didn’t even hear the door.

Keeping your back to him, you continue spreading the sheets over the bed. “You’re my guest, Jaehyun. Of course, I have to do it.”

Jaehyun. You haven’t thought about him in a while, but of course, the universe has other plans than for you to get married easily. Only, instead of a freak accident happening to your wedding cake, it comes in the shape of Jung Jaehyun.

Or Jung Yoonoh.

You hear him roll his suitcase to the far end of the room, dropping his backpack next to it. Without saying anything more, he helps you straighten the sheets.

After what feels like forever making his bed, you heave a sigh of relief.

“I’ll be in my room.” You had planned on adding the comment: “if you need anything, feel free to ask,” but frankly, the offer doesn’t apply to people like him.

Not wanting to hear his response, you turn and quickly walk towards the door, hoping to leave without any more conversation.

“Y/n,” he calls, stopping you before you can leave. “What do you want me to do? Do you want me to leave? I’ll make something up to tell Johnny.”

You sigh, turning around to face him. “Yes, Jaehyun, I want you to leave. But you’re one of his best friends. And I don’t know what kind of sick joke this is, but I’m not going to let my feelings toward you ruin his relationship with you.”

You don’t know how well you’ll be able to follow through with that, but you’ll sure as hell try. It isn’t just your wedding, after all; Johnny is allowed to invite anyone he wants.

Even the man who broke your heart.

“Is that all you wanted to say? If so, I’m going to go take a shower.”

“Um yeah, go ahead. Just, I’m sorry to put you in this situation. I am.”

You turn around, nodding your head once before quickly rushing out the door.

Sitting on your bed, you feel your heart pound in your chest. Out of everyone Johnny could have befriended, he just had to go and pick my ex-boyfriend?

Falling back onto your bed, you sigh for what feels like the millionth time in the past twenty minutes.

You spent weeks crying over that man, hoping you’d never have to see him again. The embarrassment and pain of the situation caused you to hate not only him, but also yourself for months. Sure, you’re over him completely. By this time next weekend, you’ll be Mrs. y/n Suh. Nothing else could make you happier, but that didn’t mean seeing him doesn’t hurt; because it does— a lot.

Taking a deep breath, you push yourself up off the bed. Rushing out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, you stare at yourself in the mirror.

I can’t do this. I can’t lie to him. You prop your elbows on the counter, resting your head in your hands. I also can’t go and tell him his best friend is the “goose face of a man” I told him about.

The memory of Johnny calling Jaehyun a goose face after hearing about what he did to you stills the emotions bouncing around your head. It makes everything calmer. Nodding your head once at yourself in the mirror, you push yourself off the counter and go to turn on the water.

Johnny is worth it, you’ve decided; he’s worth the pain.

---  

When you hear the front door open you feel a pang of fear. You have to look your fiancé in the eyes and pretend his best friend doesn’t make you uncomfortable. What a great way to spend the few days before my wedding.

“Yoonoh, what are you doing?” you hear Johnny ask as you open the bedroom door, quietly walking down the hall to the kitchen.

“Oh,” you hear Jaehyun reply. “I thought I’d make dinner for you guys since you’re letting me stay here. My mom’s famous japchae.”

You stand in the doorway, watching the two talk in front of the stove, backs to you.

Johnny snorts, leaning his elbow on the counter. “Your mom isn’t the best cook, no offense to her, so you definitely pulled that off the Internet. Don’t try me, Jung Yoonoh. And also, doesn’t that sauce have honey in it? Y/n’s allergic to honey.”

Jaehyun flicks his eyes over to you, finally seeing you standing in the doorway. “She saw me taking out all the ingredients and told me about the honey.”

You shift uncomfortably on your feet, looking away from the pair. You don’t know why Jaehyun remembers your allergy, but the reminder that he used to be one of the most important people in your life is unwelcome.

Pushing the unsettling feeling away, you put on a brave smile and walk over to your fiancé. “So, what did Mark want?”

He smiles down at you. “Oh, nothing. The weirdo broke the coffee machine and needed help fixing it before dad found out. I can only imagine the complaints he would make if he received a bill from the hotel about a broken coffee maker.”

You scrunch your nose, ignoring the feeling of Jaehyun’s eyes on you. “He doesn’t even like coffee. How did he break it?”

Johnny shrugs. “It’s Mark, can’t say I’m surprised.”

“Sorry to interrupt,” Jarhyun mumbles, motioning to the stove. “But the noodles are done.”

You look at the noodles, realizing that he needs you to move to get to the sink behind you.

“You know what,” you say, stepping out of the way. “I’m going to go grade some papers. You guys stay here and catch up. Tell me when dinner’s done?”

“Oh, okay, are you sure? He actually lived in Connecticut for a few years. You both could reminisce about the good old days.”

Johnny’s smile is dazzling, and your heart melts at the innocent intention behind his words. He always makes an effort to include you in his conversations, even if it is just little hints like this.

You fight a cringe at the statement as your eyes look over to Jaehyun. You catch his eyes as he sets the pot in the sink, holding a strainer full of hot glass noodles. For a second, you find yourself wanting to scream at him. Yell about how unfair it was for him to leave without saying anything to you after three years of being together, how unfair it was that his then-best-friend had to shyly tell you he had been cheating on you for the past few months with some girl at his work. Mostly, though, you want to yell about how unfair it is for him to put you in this situation. That if he had just been a decent person in the first place, he wouldn’t be making a liar out of you.

Instead, you break your eye contact and smile as un-forcefully as you can. “It may not be a very big state, but it’s still a state, dear. I’m sure Yoonoh and I never went to the same places or anything.”

“I don’t know. I feel like the universe would have a hard time keeping two beautiful people away from each other.”

You snort, rolling your eyes. “Whatever you say. But really, I do have papers to grade. So I’ll see you both at dinner. Thank you again, Yoonoh.”  

“What? Oh, yeah, no problem,” he replies awkwardly. Breaking whatever trance he was in and pouring the noodles into a mixing bowl.

With a final salute to Johnny, you turn and walk back to your bedroom.

Once safely behind closed doors, you shut your eyes and take a deep breath.

This is going to be hard.

---

“So, y/n, I assume you’re a teacher?”

“Yeah, I teach fifth grade,” you respond, forcing yourself to briefly smile at him before returning your gaze to the plate below you.

It feels like you are losing by talking to him, especially telling him about something he knew was a dream.

The image of him picking you up after your shift at the daycare on Fridays before taking you to dinner at his house or a restaurant flashes through your mind, and you suppress a bitter chuckle.

“I don’t know how she does it,” Johnny comments, unaware of your inner battle. “I could never be a teacher. I have this vivid memory of my mom telling me to never be a teacher.”

You chuckle, bringing your eyes away from the food to look at him. “Probably because of that one time you yelled at Mark for not knowing the days of the week.”

“For one, I was like eight, and he was five. How was I supposed to know he could mix up the days of the week and not look stupid? Second, you need to stop having those lunches with my mom.” He turns to look at Jaehyun. “She used to have these lunches with my mom without me, and they would talk about me. Can you believe it?”

Jaehyun chuckles, eyes flicking to you before looking back to his best friend. The news doesn’t surprise him; his mom always loved you.

“Sorry man, sucks to be you.”

“You’re both useless,” he says dejectedly, dramatically stuffing some noodles into his mouth.

You shake your head, smiling at his childish actions.  

“Oh hey,” Johnny starts, abandoning the previous topic. “You don’t have work tomorrow, right?”

“Seeing as it’s a weekend, you are correct.”

“Then would you mind taking Yoonoh around tomorrow? I bought tickets for us to go see the Statue of Liberty, but something came up at work.”

Frowning, you ignore the instinct that tells you to immediately disagree. “Are they overworking you? Do you need me to go in there and yell at some people?”

He tilts his head, smiling sweetly. “Not yet, but be ready when I call.”

Crossing your arms, you lean back in your chair, attempting to appear tough. “Don’t worry, babe. I got you.”

He scrunches his face as the word ‘babe’ leaves your mouth, chuckling. You smile at him, relaxing from your tough act to laugh with him.

“Am I missing something?” Jaehyun asks, smiling at Johnny.

“Oh, so for our first date, we went to a winery-“

“It took more than an hour to get there, by the way,” you interject, smiling as the story plays out in your head.

“Yeah, I had prepared different topics we could talk about in case we ran out of things to talk about. But anyway, we went on a winery tour, right? And this one couple-”

He cuts himself off, giggles erupting from the both of you.

He takes a deep breath, trying to suppress his laughter. “And this one couple was, like, fighting? They were walking behind us the entire time and would say stuff like: ‘babe, you don’t understand how hard it’s been cleaning the apartment all by myself’ or ‘babe, you never care about me and what I want to do.’”

“The response to which was: ‘if I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have bought you your favorite brand of peanut butter.’”

Johnny’s laugh rings through your ears, and you hear Jaehyun quietly laugh across from you.

“Oh my gosh, I forgot about that,” Johnny wheezes, turning to face Jaehyun. “After that, they were silent for about three minutes before the complaints about something else in their relationship started back up. Anyways, skip to when we’re doing the wine tasting, and it turns out, y/n here doesn’t drink.”

Jaehyun laughs, turning his attention to you. “Really? You went to a winery for your first date?”

You smile, too caught up in the story to realize who you are talking to. “He was so excited! I couldn’t say no.”

“I already bought the tickets, and I knew she was too nice to say no, so it was a full-proof plan for at least one date.”

“Okay, okay, enough of that. Get to the good part,” you say, waving your hand to tell Johnny to continue.

“Oh, right, so they’re handing out the wine, and y/n has to say: ‘oh no, I don’t drink.’ And the guy pouring the wine is confused because, you know, who would come to a winery tour if you don’t drink? Anyway, once he poured my glass and moved on, I’m like: ‘why didn’t you tell me you don’t drink? We didn’t have to come.’ And y/n, being the kind person she is, said it didn’t matter and that it was still a fun time. But of course, me not knowing this fact didn’t go unnoticed by the couple, and the girl turns to the guy and says: ‘Babe, I’m so glad you know me and what I like; I don’t know what I would do without you.’”

A loud laugh escapes your mouth, and you quickly cover your mouth in surprise. “You should’ve seen Johnny’s face. He felt so bad.”

“I thought I blew it with you! Of course, I was sad,” he laughs. “And all you did was laugh in my face.”

“I couldn’t help it!” you exclaim. “There you were, a six-foot man, looking sadly down at his wine because of a comment from the ‘babe couple.’ In my prior year of knowing you, I had never seen that look on your face.”

“But on the bright side, we didn’t have to worry about driving drunk.”

You hadn’t thought about that day or why you both use “babe” jokingly in a while. It had just been a thing you both laugh at with no explanation. It’s nice to relive your first date and the warm feeling you've felt for the man since.

“So, yeah,” you say, turning towards Jaehyun. You try to meet his eyes, but as soon as he meets yours, you find yourself looking anywhere but at him. “That’s why we only jokingly call each other ‘babe.’ It might not be as funny as we make it out to be, one of those you-had-to-be-there-moments.”

Jaehyun shakes his head, a small smile gracing his face. “No, I think it’s sweet. You have an inside joke with a fun story. It was nice to hear.”

You hate the sincerity in his voice, and when you look up, you see what you can only describe as love.

You know it isn’t love for you. Jaehyun has undoubtedly moved on; it’s love for his friend. That’s one thing you always admired about Jaehyun, how much he loves his friends.  

You see that same quality in Johnny.

—

“You don’t have to take me,” Jaehyun says as you two walk toward the subway station.

“I told Johnny I would, so I am.”

Jaehyun nods his head, shifting his gaze away from you.

You were mad when Jaehyun left, and, unknown to you, that anger reappeared when you tried to have another relationship. Johnny helped you get over that anger. Now that he’s back, all that anger is coming back, and Johnny can’t help you. With Jaehyun sleeping in the room next to you, you have never felt so uncomfortable in your own home.

You had spent all night thinking about your situation. You love your fiancé—there is no doubt in your mind that he is the man you want to marry. Jaehyun just wasn’t supposed to come back, not when everything was going good.

“Where do I go to buy a ticket?” He asks, breaking you from your thoughts.

“Oh, I’ll swipe my card twice.” At the mention of a card you reach into your bag to grab your wallet.

Jaehyun laughs softly. “I just noticed. You’re carrying a purse now?”

You look down at the small purse hanging over your shoulder. “Yeah, I started doing it after I lost my card at the store. Johnny watched me stress for about ten minutes as I checked his car before the store gave me a call. After which, I made him drive me to the closest department store and bought this.”

He doesn’t respond, watching as you scan your card before moving out of the way for him to walk through first. You quickly scan your card again, immediately putting it back into your wallet as you walk through.

Like your allergy to honey, it bugs you that he remembers your unwillingness towards carrying a purse back in high school. Everyone around you, Jaehyun included, warned you that you would lose something one day. Now that you think of it, it had been one of Jaehyun’s favorite things to tease you about.

“You two make a good couple,” he says quietly, pulling you from your thoughts. “I’m glad you’re happy.”

You scoff at his words, seeing them as nothing but laughable. “Thanks, he’s an honest man.”

---

“We have five minutes before the ferry leaves. Do you want to stay here and look, or should we go wait at the doc?” You ask after having walked around the statue and answering all his questions.

“We can wait at the doc,” he responds, already turning to walk back. “If I’m being honest, I don’t get the excitement of tourist attractions.”

You nod your head in agreement, and as if to prove your point, a man accidentally bumps into you. “I worked here for a year, so the appeal is more than lost on me.”

“You worked here?”

You nod your head, standing on the tips of your toes to see if you can find a clear spot. Once you find one with fewer people, you lead him that way. “As you know, my mom is a German teacher, so I grew up speaking German. I took a job here as a tour guide. I met Johnny here.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, some of his relatives were visiting from Korea before going to his parents in Chicago. So, of course, they came here, and I was leading one of the tours around. But this boy from the Korean tour before me got separated from his parents. I obviously don’t know Korean, and he didn’t know very much English. So in came Johnny, the best translator, and he helped calm the boy down until his family could come back. Then we met again on the island that has the museum. I was sitting on a bench waiting for my group to come back from the self-exploring time or whatever you want to call it, and he sat next to me and said: ‘long day, huh?’ Next thing you know, we find out we go to the same university.”

Jaehyun smiles, eyes darting behind you. “Is that the ferry that takes us to the museum?”

You turn around, seeing a ferry slowly pull into the doc. Simply nodding in response, you walk closer to where the ferry pulls in. The rest of the time waiting for the ferry is thankfully silent. Your time with him hasn’t been as horrible as you thought it would be, but on a list of the things you could be doing on your day off, talking with your ex does not even make the list.

After boarding the ferry and watching the water pass by with Jaehyun by your side, a strong sense of déjà vu hits you. Before dating, you and Jaehyun took an old steamboat on the Connecticut River. You had been sitting much like you are now, minus the awkward air between you two. Except at some point after he got back from getting you both some water, his leg rested against yours. The warmth from the simple action had made you so happy. It’s still the moment you think of when you picture the beginning of your relationship. It’s the day things between the two of you shifted from friends to something more.

Now, when his leg briefly touches yours, you quickly pull your leg away. Instead of bringing happiness, the warmth brings a sick feeling to your stomach.

“When are you leaving?”

You can feel Jaehyun looking at you, but you refuse to meet his eyes. “I leave four days after the wedding.”

You nod your head, not taking your eyes away from the water.

The rest of the ride is silent.

---

“Thank you for spending yesterday with him,” Johnny says, and you can hear the smile in his voice. “I really appreciate you doing that for me and taking my position as best friend tour guide.”

You nod your head, shifting into a more comfortable position on the couch, pulling his arm closer around you. You truly value these moments. Moments where he would let you snuggle close against him, his arm around your shoulder, holding you close.

You normally aren’t a very touchy person, but it was times like this when you feel so lonely that you want to feel loved. Johnny figured this out only five months after you started dating.

Every time, he never pushed you into saying something you weren’t ready to share. He just listened and said sweet things.

“You-you still want to get married, right?” You pause for a second, searching for the right words. “I know that might be a stupid question. I’ve been thinking lately, and I just- I don’t know.”

He doesn’t answer immediately, instead choosing to rub your arm comfortingly.

“I don’t know what happened, and like always, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. But that is the silliest question I’ve heard all week – no – in all my life. I’ve never met someone outside of my family who means more to me than you do. The day I proposed to you was the scariest day of my life. Logically, you were going to say yes. But I was so scared you would say no, and I would lose the person who has made my life the best it’s ever been.”

“Thank you, Johnny, that means a lot to me. I’m happy I haven’t chased you away yet.”

He gives you a gentle squeeze. “Believe me, if anyone is doing the chasing away around here, it’s Mark.”

“I don’t know. I think out of the two of you, he has more charm.”

He snorts. “Fair point. But back on topic, do you want to tell me what has you second-guessing things?”

“I’m not second-guessing anything on my part,” you clarify. The last thing you want him to believe is that you’re second-guessing your relationship. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my past relationship, the one where I was cheated on. I didn’t feel what I feel for you with him, but there must have been a reason he cheated on me. I’m worried you’re going to find out what that thing is and then leave me.”

“Well, I can tell you right now that you don’t have to worry about that. Seeing as I’m not a goose face, I’m not about able to see the same things as a crazy person.”

“I don’t know; your face is kind of goose-like.”

“How dare you. You take that back right now, or I’ll make you.”

As hard as you try, you can’t ignore the guilt creeping into your stomach. Here you are, talking about Jaehyun to one of his best friends while he’s asleep in the other room. You weren’t even the one in the relationship who did something “bad,” so you don’t know what guilt you owe him.

Overpowering the guilt you feel towards Jaehyun is the guilt you feel towards Johnny.

“You deserve better than me,” you whisper.

“No, I deserve you.”

---

“I am going to kill someone.”

“Calm down it isn’t that bad.”

“Isn’t that bad?” you repeat, looking over at Johnny in a mix of shock and horror. “I don’t think I can ever come back here. That is how bad this is.”

“Am I missing something?” Jaehyun asks from his spot next to Johnny.

The three of you are currently standing in front of the ice cream section in your supermarket. Johnny had noticed you were stressed over some of the last-minute planning for the wedding and decided it was time you took a break.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Her favorite ice cream just isn’t here right now,” Johnny answers.

“And you don’t see how that is a big deal? You’re the one who said I needed to take a break, and now you’re saying the disappearance of the one thing that is necessary for an authentic break isn’t a big deal?”

“Okay, take a chill pill. They got your second favorite.”

“Where? I don’t see it. Are you stalling for time before I kick your shins?”

“No, I see it right here,” Jaehyun leans forward to tap the glass in front of the container.

As you watch him tap lightly on the glass, you freeze. Is he trying to make Johnny suspicious? What the hell is he thinking? Pointing out something he should have no idea about. I didn’t know he was this stupid.

“Dude, how’d you know?” Johnny asks, looking at Jaehyun with what you can only imagine is a confused-shocked expression.

“Oh, well, for one, it’s brownie batter. I mean, who doesn’t like brownie batter? And when you were in Korea, you saw the flavor and mentioned something about how this was your girlfriend’s second favorite flavor. After cookies and cream, right?”

“Huh,” Johnny opens the door to grab the ice cream. “I don’t remember that at all.”

You like to think you’re a different person than when you and he dated. But being reminded of these things makes you think differently. It feels as if you've been taken back all those years to high school when you depended too heavily on him and weren't as sure of yourself as you'd like to think you were at the time. It makes you feel small and helpless.

“You know what,” you say quietly, and you hope Johnny doesn’t notice the distant tone in your voice. “I think I’m going to try something new. I’ve always wanted to try cherry garcia ice cream, so why not now?”

“Oh, okay,” Johnny says, letting you take the ice cream from his hand and replace it with the new flavor.  

You glance one more time at Jaehyun, hoping he can feel your unhappiness at his remembrance, before turning to walk to the checkout. You hear Jaehyun ask your fiancé something in Korean, and you tune out the rest of the conversation as you mindlessly follow the directions on the screen. As if planning a wedding isn’t stressful enough, now I have to deal with Jaehyun almost ruining our ... whatever this is.

As you leave the store, Johnny stops you by lightly grabbing your elbow. “Oh hey, can you guys walk back by yourselves? I have to go pick something up for my mom.”

You look up at him, tilting your head to the side. You don’t want to be left alone with Jaehyun. “Are you sure you don’t want to walk back with us and take the car? It’s a long walk to your parents’ hotel.”

He waves his hand dismissively. “My mom said she’ll pick me up. She’s out and about doing something and said she’d pick me up on her way home. But since she doesn’t know the city that well, she wanted me to get the thing, and she’d come pick me up. Sounds crazy, I know, but that’s how she works. Also, I know this is a really weird thing, but can I borrow your ring? I want to give it to my mom; so she can look at it closely—you know, with me buying it without her knowing my plans and all—and then you’ll never have to take it off again.”

“I don’t need to tell you to be careful, do I?” you ask, slowly twisting the ring off.

He chuckles. “No, of course not. I am the one who paid for it, after all.”

“Okay,” you lightly place the ring in his hand. “Do you know when you’ll be back?”

“Well, it’s 3:40 now, so maybe around 5? I’ll definitely be back for dinner. I was thinking we could go out. My treat?”

You nod your head, giving him a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes. Along with not wanting to be alone with his best friend, you feel like your fiancé has been gone a lot. You’re starting to miss him.

“Great,” he leans down, kissing the top of your head. “I’ll see you guys later for dinner, okay?”

Jaehyun nods his head, waving goodbye.

“You can’t do that,” you say as soon as you round the corner.

“Do what?”

“Talk about things you would only know from being in a relationship. You did it with the honey allergy, and now with the ice cream. And yeah, you came up with some good excuses, but how long until you can’t think of one? What then?”  

“Look, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

The sarcastic tone in his voice makes you stop in your tracks, grabbing his arm so he’ll face you.  

“Excuse me? Who are you to talk to me like that?”

He sighs. “Okay, I know you’re being—I don’t know what the right word is—nice? You know what I mean. You’re being nice by letting me stay in your house. But do you have to talk to me like you’re all high and mighty?”

You laugh in shock, not believing what you just heard. “I don’t know where this is coming from, but I do not appreciate it. You know what you did, so you should consider yourself lucky you’re allowed in my house-”

“It isn’t just your house. Johnny wouldn’t let me sleep in a hotel when he has a-”

“You cheated on me!” you yell, interrupting him. Taking a deep breath, you look around to see if anyone is staring. “You cheated on me, and I told Johnny about it. And you know what? He agrees with me that you were a jerk and that I shouldn’t have to ever see you again. And I’ll be honest. I don’t know if he would want to see you again. But I do know he would be uncomfortable around you. Because guess what? He loves me. And he will take my side, and he will never hurt me like you did. So yes, I am being nice by letting you sleep in our house. Because one word from me, and you’re out.”

You didn’t know you had that in you. Judging by the look in his eyes, Jaehyun wasn’t expecting it either.  

“I’m sorry—”

“Nope.

---

Thank you all for reading! Part two should be out sometime next week. Have a great day/night <3

Masterlist | part two

[cgi-heart-eyes]

dndads incorrect quotes

long post ahead

the teens:

Scary: I hate you sometimes.  Normal: Well according to this picture Link drew of us holding hands that's not true.  Scary: Normal, you drew that.  Normal: It doesn't matter

Scary: I just watched Normal jump off of a spinning chair. Luckily, they weren't hurt that badly. But the whole time, Link was screaming for help, which caused Taylor to run in to help Normal. Just note that all of this happened in the span of six minutes.

Scary: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.  Normal: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!  Link: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!  Taylor: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.  Scary: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

Scary: I think Taylor was right.  Normal: I'm surprised they haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'  Link: They wouldn't do that.  Taylor: You're right, Link. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.  Taylor: *turns around, the shirt they're wearing says 'Taylor Told You So' on the back*

Scary: Normal, I'm sad. Normal: *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay. Link: Taylor, I'm sad. Taylor, nodding: mood.

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.  Scary: Shit.  Normal: Wait, three?  Cop: Yeah?  Link: OH MY GOD TAYLOR FELL OFF!!

Scary: Why are your tongues purple? Link: We had slushies. I had a blue one. Taylor: I had a red one. Scary: oh Scary: Scary: OH Normal: Normal: You drank each other's slushies?

Scary: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.  Normal:  Link:  Taylor:  Everyone Else At Scary’s Surprise Birthday Party:  Normal: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

dads:

Ron: Why are Henry and Darryl sitting with their backs to each other? Glenn: They had a fight. Ron: Then why are they holding hands? Glenn: They get sad when they fight.

Henry: How did none of you hear what I just said?  Darryl: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.  Ron: I got distracted about halfway through.  Glenn: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Henry: Everyone, synchronize your watches.  Darryl: I don’t know how to do that.  Ron: I don’t wear a watch.  Glenn: Time is a construct.

Henry: So my therapist was talking to me and she said that I really just need to break down my walls and let people in.  Henry: So I’ve decided to break the fourth wall.  Henry: *looks at camera* Hi there. I use humor as a coping mechanism.

Henry: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird, but emotionally? Imagine the toll!

Henry: I’m this close to falling in love with Darryl. Glenn: Your fingertips are touching. Henry: Exactly.

Glenn: Bad news—Ron locked themself outside of their own house. Glenn: Good news—we didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith. Glenn: Bad news—Darryl finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory(TM). I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned it was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute guys/girls/enbies. Glenn: Good news—a cute guy/girl/enby saw me do it. Glenn: Bad news—it was Henry, and since they’ve already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, they’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. They know.

Glenn, explaining why they are not allowed to cook: I put the noodles in the pot and put the pot on the stove and turned the burner on high. Turns out you don't put noodles in marijuana and I almost burnt the whole house down.

kiddads:

Lark, to Grant: I mean, I get complimented all the time- Sparrow: starts cackling Lark: I do! Sparrow: laughs harder

Grant: Yesterday, I overheard Lark saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Sparrow replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

Terry: Why don’t you go talk to them? Grant, sarcastically: Oh. Yeah, sure. Terry: What? So you go tell them they’re cute, what’s the worst that could happen? Grant: They could hear me.

Nicky: Sweet dog you got there. Police: Yes, this is our new drug sniffing dog. Nicky: Still training huh? Police: What do you mean? Nicky: Nicky: Never mind.

Nicky: "What are you into?" is such a broad question, like do I reply with a TV series or choking?

Grant: I am going to cry. I’m going to cry until I can no longer physically cry anymore because all the water in my body is gone and I die from dehydration. Terry: Are you okay? Lark: Did you actually just ask them that? Like, you need that to be answered otherwise you won’t know?

Lark: You've got to act tough, Sparrow! Show 'em you can't be pushed around! Show 'em they can't mess with you! Sparrow: Right. Yes. Tough. Got it. Sparrow, standing up on their stool and slamming their hands down on the bar: I'LL TAKE A CHOCOLATE MILK.

Terry: Watcha got there..? Sparrow: petting a ostrich A smoothie.

i’ll probably add more at some point, this was really fun to make!