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#i could try traditional art. but it might be shit i fear.
sardonic-the-writer · 4 months
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hey you should make art of Quinn. no reason :)
-a completely innocent mutual who would never spam reblog anything ever
two problems: i don't have a drawing tablet anymore (i've been using my school issued ipad, but it's gone for summer vacation now, and before that i gave my old one to a friend for their birthday) and two. i can not draw
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dalesramblingsblog · 14 days
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(Put into its own post because I have a chronic fear of hijacking things with reblog chains. Some Tumblr user I turned out to be... Anyway credit obv to @gen-is-gone)
But yeah this is pretty much where I come down on the matter as well. In writing about the books featuring Sam, and occasionally being critical of how her character has been handled, I have tried to be very careful not to frame it as some kind of objection to the character on a fundamental level, but rather to some egregiously poor decisions made by certain authors.
There are two reasons for this, the first of which is that I am, as critics go, a bit of a quietly staunch anti-Watsonian who has never once invested too much in the idea that art needs to be treated as, to use a possibly apocryphal Gayatri Spivak quotation, "gossip about imaginary people." Sam Jones doesn't need to be real to be meaningful.
But more importantly, as you say, I do want to be mindful of the long and not-so-distinguished tradition of male fans constantly putting Sam down because "unrelatable" or "unlikable" or "too politically correct" or whatever. Dale's Ramblings has always been kind of tacitly influenced by my growing up as a terminally online young autistic white boy of the sort who, if we're being perfectly frank, could have very easily spiralled down exactly that sort of right-wing echo chamber if things had turned out slightly differently.
So again, I do try to be mindful of the optics of my reviews, which I don't say to big myself up because I do think that it really is the bare minimum in a situation like mine. But y'know, point is, whatever my issues with how the overwhelmingly male crop of writers that defined Wilderness Years Doctor Who incorporated Sam into their novels, I never want to take anything away from the people for whom the character really resonated.
Because at a certain point in shitting on a book for having "poorly written female characters" or whatever as a man you're just going to end up in the same position as those male nerds who got huffy when ComicCon did a Twilight panel, where the boundaries between "OK you're making legitimate critiques of an author's decisions" and "Bro you might just hate women a little bit (read: a lot), it's OK we can wean you off of watching Nerdrotic, I know a great rehab program" start to blur and outright dissolve.
Or y'know, again, to quote myself in a TL;DR because sometimes I do actually write things that are halfway decent:
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(Oh and also yeah I look forward to Seeing I immensely, if only because it's the only thing keeping me going through the looming spectre of Longest Day and Legacy of the Daleks, god the 1998 crop of EDAs is... not the most promising, with one or two notable exceptions. Of which Seeing I is one.)
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cheeriecherry · 4 years
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hi!! how are you? can you write for baku, deku, & todo where they meet their s/o family for the first time & they’re super scary? they’re all super tall, buff, full of tattoos, loud, aggressive, mean & the fam is super overprotective over s/o & the 3 are just freaking out bc s/o is the opposite? s/o is super sweet, calm, bubbly & short so the last thing they were expecting was this & they’re just freaking out & trying to get on their s/o’s family good side? sorry if that sounds complicated 😭
The more specific the ask, the better! I’ll see what my brain can come up with, I’ve just had couch medicine so
Requests are temporarily closed so I can catch up on them!
BAKUGOU KATSUKI
-Loud boi isn’t gonna let anyone know that he’s intimidated.
-He’s already a little nervous to meet your family for the first time, though he’d never admit it. You were so hesitant to ask him to come over, and at first he thought it was because he was the loud and aggressive one.
-But that Saturday afternoon when he walks up to your house and your dad answers the door, he’s like ‘oh’ and it all clicks into place.
-He loves you a lot, so he wants to make a good impression, but he also never backs down from a challenge. So he and your dad have a stare down in the doorway, until you stroll around the corner and see them.
-You scold your dad and tell him to stop being rude to your boyfriend. Your dad doesn’t say anything, but he sighs and lets Bakugou in.
-The fun doesn’t stop there, though. You tug Bakugou around the house from room to room introducing him to your family, and every single one of them gives him the same cold, mildly threatening stare.
-Ngl your uncle who lives in the basement apartment kinda scares him, but he doesn’t say anything and tries to play it cool. The guy is built like a brick house and covered head to toe in intricate tattoos.
-He doesn’t mention it, but you can tell that your boyfriend is wondering about potential ties you have to the mafia, with a guy like that living in your house. But you assure him it’s just your uncle’s quirk that gives him the art on his skin, and that he’s actually pretty shy about it and doesn’t like going out.
-The last person he meets is your mom. With everyone being so much taller and physically stronger than you, he assumes that your mom is gonna be the person you got your tiny genes from.
-Lol no
-She’s at least six feet tall, and without a doubt the most intimidating person in the house. She’s got the face of an angel and the grace of a butterfly, but behind her smile Bakugou can see the willingness to kill anyone who hurts her baby (you).
-Lunch with the fam is a little awkward at first, until your younger cousin goads Bakugou into a spice eating contest. Then the shouting at the table begins, everyone placing their bets on who they think will win. You’re the only one who bets on your boyfriend, and you get like a hundred collective bucks out of your family members when he wins.
-He’s earned the respect of your cousin, who’s like eight maybe and now deems Bakugou a respectable opponent. Bakugou is torn between yelling and patting the kid on the head, so he probably does both and shouts at the kid to keep practicing so they can try and beat him one day.
-At the end of the visit, your boyfriend is surprisingly calm. You’re walking him home, arm in arm, not really saying much. Though you do tell him that he’s taking your living situation pretty well.
-He’s like wdym? And you explain to him that most of your friends and potential partners are scared of your family and refuse to come over because of them.
-Bakugou just scoffs and is like ‘of course they are, because they’re chicken shits. As if I’d be scared of a bunch of-’ and he pauses because you start laughing, not at him, just about the situation.
-Your family actually really likes him and find him a suitable boyfriend for you. They know you’re strong, but they want someone who can protect you and who’s loyal to you, and they see that in Bakugou. They probably invite him to the next family gathering.
MIDORIYA IZUKU
-A nervous boi
-He wants so badly to make a good impression on your family, to get their approval of your relationship. He knows you’re close with them, so he doesn’t want their potential opinions of him to sway your desire to be with him.
-He dresses casually but tidy, and while he waits at the door he fiddles with his shirt a bit.
-Almost has a heart attack when your sister opens the door and glares down at him with the rage of 1000 suns.
-He does his best to introduce himself formally and be polite, but your sister is making it awfully hard for him to stay focused. She doesn’t say anything to him, so he just continues chattering until he’s off on a tangent and saying way too much.
-And you’re like ‘I feel my boyfriend danger senses tingling’ so you go downstairs and lo and behold. 
-Ofc he’s not in any actual danger, just the danger of making a fool of himself. You set a hand on your sister’s arm, and the moment you do it’s like all the anger in her body dissipates and she turns into a sweet, smiling bean. Then she skips away to go do her homework.
-You pull Midoriya inside and give him a once-over anyways, just to make sure your sister didn’t burn holes in him with her glares. But he assures you he’s alright, and he’s a lot more relaxed now that you’re around.
-Probably says something like ‘I can see why you were so nervous about bringing me to your house, your older sister seems really protective of you’
-and you’re like ‘um,,,,actually she’s my younger sister’ and he’s like ‘wot’ and you’re like ‘also she’s the least scary of everyone’ and he’s like ‘wOT’
-You waste no time parading him from room to room to show him off, all while his soul slowly escapes his body.
-Your parents actually scare him the least, like, of course they’re protective of you, but they have the common courtesy not to exaggerate their scary qualities. They still tower over both you and Midoriya, but they’re mostly civil in terms of interactions.
-Your older brothers scare him a little bit more. They share the basement suite, so you drag your boyfriend downstairs to introduce them all to each other...and interrupt their poker game with their friends.
-All of them have some kind of tattoo visible, nothing Midoriya recognizes as any gang symbol, but he’s still wary. However, he manages to say hello and all the pleasantries, and actually gets a smile out of one of your brothers, who tries to rope him into a game of cards.
-Thankfully you save him with the excuse that you still have more family to show him off to, but he’s left with the promise of ‘later, then’.
-Lastly is your sister, who he’s technically already met. She’s arguably the scariest of everyone. She’s easily almost six feet tall and looks like she could bench press the two of you with ease. You promise him that she’s a literal sweet pea, but when the two of you walk up to her room, Midoriya isn’t so sure.
-She glares at him hard, like she’s judging him about everything and if he doesn’t pass she’ll snap him in half. He has to swallow the lump in his throat, and quickly looks around the room for some kind of thing to ask about that might get her to open up.
-And he sees it. One of the rarer All Might figures from an old merch line, one that he also has, so he’s like ‘do you like All Might’ and it’s like a switch is flipped.
-You breathe a sigh of relief as the two of them start nerding out about their favourite hero, sprouting facts and recalling films and old news videos. When he mentions that All Might teaches at his school, your sister honest to god squeals, and starts asking all kinds of questions about what kind of teacher he is, what he’s learned, what it’s like to be a protogee of such a great hero. He answers everything with glee, all his former fears forgotten.
-When it comes time for dinner, your sister insists that your boyfriend sit next to her, which is apparently a very high honor because one of your brothers sulks off to the other end of the table. (You assure your brother later that it’s just temporary and that your sister just really likes your boyfriend).
-But seeing the two of them interact warms your heart, it’s usually hard for your sister to make friends because she’s so intimidating, so you’re glad they’re getting along. And so does the rest of your family! They see Midoriya’s kindness and hardworking attitude, and they warm up to him pretty quickly.
-It ends up being a really enjoyable night, despite the rocky start. Though sadly yes your boyfriend does eventually get roped into a game of poker, and yes your brother’s cheat, but you cheat too, and you’re all betting in chocolate coins. You share your hoard with him.
TODOROKI SHOUTO
-He goes into it being not nervous, and ends up being Quite nervous once he meets your family.
-When he arrives, you’re thankfully the one to answer the door, so he doesn’t get hassled, so everything seems pretty normal right off the bat. Until your cousin walks through the room and is like ‘???? who’s this pipsqueak???’ and Todoroki is torn between being his usual snarky self and being polite.
-He wats to throw shade right back, but for your sake he wants to make a good impression. You’re used to his manners (or lack thereof) but he doesn’t want your family to think he’s not worthy of you. He really loves you a lot and wants to stay with you.
-So he goes for a formal introduction, even going in for a handshake. It’s kind of funny, because your cousin is like ‘lol what are manners’ but your glare forces him to return the gesture. His hand completely dwarfs your boyfriend’s, and you have to hide a snicker.
-And then the guy awkwardly wanders out of the room.
-You and Todoroki kind of just stand there for a second, and then he’s like ‘is this what you meant when you said your family was intimidating’ and you’re like ‘:3′
-You give him a tour of the house, a nice modest place with traditional aspects. It’s nowhere near as big as his, but he like it that way, it makes the place more homey and warm.
-You introduce him to family members as you come across them; your younger twin nuisances cousins, who are more mischievous than dangerous, your aunt and her wife, who look like they could get away with murder, your brother and his friends, who mostly only glare at Todoroki to try and make him uncomfortable.
-Thankfully he’s used to the stoic and slightly scary expressions, thanks to his dad. He wonders momentarily if you’re safe here, but then he realizes that everyone in the house is especially kind to you, and very affectionate when they think he’s not looking. He doesn’t even bother asking the question.
-Lastly are your parents, who are in the kitchen preparing dinner. They’re a little perturbed that you’re both in the kitchen when they’re working, but they seem to be less purposefully intimidating than everyone else. They’re still a little scary though.
-Then he notices that your parents are making soba. From scratch. Which is particularly difficult to master, so he figures they must be pretty well practiced if they’re so good at it.
-Without thinking, he asks if they’ve made soba before, and soon your parents are sprouting off about their culinary careers and the restaurant they run. You were supposed to take over one day, but you ultimately chose a different path in life, even after they taught you so much.
-Todoroki didn’t even realize you could cook, but now he wants more than anything to try your meals someday, or learn a few things from you and make dinners together.
-It startles him a little that he’s thinking so far ahead in your lives, but honestly if you’ve managed to get him as a boyfriend then you’re likely to have him for your whole life, if you want him.
-He talks a little more with your parents about the food, expressing in his way that he’s looking forward to a dinner that’s had so much hard work go into it. And you can see the little light go on in your parents’ heads, the light that signals they approve of your choice in boyfriend and have started making room in their hearts for him.
-Dinner is nice, pretty peaceful aside from your twin cousins causing their usual trouble, but he’s nonplussed by it. he still wonders how you managed to come out so small in comparison to everyone else, but it doesn’t bother him too much. He can see that you’re loved and well cared for, and a little piece of him hopes that one day he’ll be able to get to know your family even better.
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2lim3rz · 3 years
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THE HATE OF LORGAR [40k FANFIC] [LORGAR X READER]
This has been sitting in my head since April, so it's about time I wrote it!
Lorgar really didn't deserve some of the shit he got tbh, he just needed a better life. Anyways..
WARNINGS: Self-flagellation/harm , Lorgar's moods are pretty flip-floppy
You were a Remembrancer aboard the ship that held the Primarch of the Word Bearer's themselves, Lorgar Aurelian. You didn't know much of the other Primarchs, just that not many of them were... least to say, much fans of your job title.
But it was your job. You had been selected by thousands who were desperate for the position you were in. You had worked your literal and proverbial ass off. On the ship, you lost some of your flow at the complete master-crafters of the various historical arts. You felt incompetent, a mere toddling child amongst some of them.
Did you back down? No. You were close to it once, but some other Remembrancers and even a couple of the Astartes helped your courage. Even though you couldn't fathom why, as one the Astartes clearly held some form of disdain for baseline humans and had a sickly sweet charming voice. Most of the Word Bearers were very charming with their words, but his always had an undertone you never liked; yet given his rank, you couldn't do anything about it.
Of course, his help was the entire reason of why you were Lorgar's personal Remembrancer. Or.. that's how it began. Your meetings getting more frequent despite both of your myriad of duties to attend. You both found excuses. You both grew to know each other. Maybe that's why you paced in worry in the massive in-between hall of his grand room. Two doors on either side, one leading to the ship and one to his room. Maybe that's why you paced, the tip of your thumb in your mouth as you gently gnawed.
You felt his hate. You felt his grief. In fact, you felt all of their grief and hate. Even the most terrifying of the Word Bearers aboard the ship almost seemed to shake. Lorgar, and in turn the Word Bearers, felt as though they were an extended family.. so when you heard the news.. Monarchia was attacked. What was the galaxy turning to if the Ultramarines was turning against them? You took a shuddering breath. You wished you could have gone, but you just couldn't keep up with the Astartes, that was fact and he convinced you of that. So you were here, waiting for Lorgar to come and share his feelings and whatever else happened in the day. For your tradition.
Thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom. You heard his steps. Your head lifted, thumb drifting away as you wiped your hand on your clothes. He was coming, that was clear from the weight of the steps. Your instincts screamed at you, however, at how quick they were. At the clash of something hitting the metal wall. In the distance, a low sort of howl from a grieving beast. Oh, how lucky you were that you pressed yourself against the wall due to the sheer force the doors slammed open. One giving a horrible groan as if it cried out.
You felt your heart drop. His once shining armor was covered in grizzly ash. From his ear was caked blood. The man's eyes was wide and terrifyingly feral, tears had carved rivers in the ash smeared on his face. The already perpetually overwhelming feeling of being near a Primarch grew tenfold at how terrifyingly heavy his breathing was.
"Lor..Lorgar?" you hesitated, feeling as if you couldn't breath. Like a predator, his head snapped towards you. All before he fell to his knees, a sob causing a roaring racket in the silence. Stumbling one step forward, followed by another, you rushed towards him and fell to your own knees, clinging to his hand. "Lorgar! Lorgar, are you- What happened?"
He wasn't looking at you. It was as though you could have disappeared and he wouldn't have noticed one bit. His once beautifully clear eyes were almost glazed in a trance. Tears still falling steadily, his face slack. It was a grimly pretty sight, in the same way one would admire a sad painting. You knew you could not get to his mind when he was so emotional, recalling how he got when you not-so-politely stated how Kor Phaeron didn't deserve his rewards for what was clearly abuse to the Primarch you adored out of all the rest (despite not really meeting any others quite yet).
So it was silence you both dwelled in. Silence that shattered as Lorgar lunged. A roar bellowed from his lips as he tore forth one of the massive doors off its hinged and slammed it against one of your favorite murals on the wall. One of the many dedicated to the Emperor of Mankind, your favorite because it was Lorgar's masterful work. You wisely screamed in fear, stumbling back from the crumbling debris.
"He murdered them all." you thought his eyes were wild once. You thought once that you had seen a feral light in his eyes when he was angry. You thought you would see grief. Sad, sad grief in those eyes. Instead, there was only anger. A roiling blaze in this tear-filled orbs. His ash covered face torn asunder in a snarl. "He killed them because I was right! I was right and he murders millions for it!" your ears hurt. Oh, stars they hurt so bad at the force of his screaming. Letting go of his hand and covering your head, your back slid against the wall as he slammed his fist against the crumbling facade of the Emperor.
"All this sacrifice! All of humanity's blood spilled, all of my blood spilled! And this is what we get?! The moment I tell him the truth, I am spat upon and treated as a mutt!" the Primarch screamed to the air before snapping towards you. Your vision blurred as your own terrified tears emerged. It was as though he had to remember you were there.
"You write the truth, and nothing but the truth, right," never before had your name felt so terrifying. The way he snarled it in his question. You knew he wasn't angry at you and yet you felt so scared. Hiccuping, you frantically nodded, not trusting your words. "Write this. Let the galaxy know He forced the Word Bearers to kneel. He forced me to kneel. He allowed Gulliman to murder entire cities of innocents. All because the Emperor wishes to live a lie."
Just as soon as he spoke those seering words, his eyes staring so deeply in your eyes you swore he could melt you from within, he whipped away. Stomping heavily towards his room. Instincts within screamed at you to turn away. To run when Lorgar was so volatile. He was always emotional and you adored the fiery passion he showed for things.. but sometimes it was too overwhelming, like now. Perhaps some inane part of you figured you could still offer comfort.
So you followed him. Watching from the doors that closed behind you as he took off his armor. If it was any other day, perhaps you two would have traded jokes. If by traded jokes, meant you joked about as he sheepishly stammered his way through it. An unseen side of the Primarch, really, was that he always seemed to stumble his words around you. But not now. Not now as he barely bothered to don a robe before going low onto his knees again, hanging his head low.
You jolted, surprised as he spoke a low order and a man emerged with a large bowl that he seemed to struggle holding. Dark powder emerging in the air as he quickly sat it upon the ground and skittered away. It was as though you were invisible in your terror as he withdrew a long glittering object that was clearly barbed. A whip of sorts.
"Lorgar....?" your whispered voice almost echoed as he splayed his hands across the ground. His tears were back again as he silently dragged one large hand into the bowl of black powder.. no, it was ash. The ashes of Monarchia. The other hand lifted the whip and you covered your mouth with a shriek at the horrid crack it made. How Lorgar hardly winced.
"LORGAR!"
You were shocked, you knew this. But you couldn't move. You could barely breath as you watched Lorgar perform the wretched flagellation. Somehow, you broke your grim reverie to stumble forward, nearly knocking the bowl of ashes away as you threw your arms around his neck with him finally being low enough for you to do that.
The whip was so close to hitting you, but that didn't matter as he stopped. You could feel the hot blood and sweat making your sleeves and skin sticky. You were sobbing into his neck, clinging tighter. "Stop! Stop, please! Just stop!" you pleaded. You had no right to order a Primarch, but you couldn't stand to watch whatever wretched ritual was happening. He was hurting in his grief for Monarchia, but there was no right for him to hurt himself for whatever wrongs the Guilliman and the Emperor did.
Silence passed between you, Lorgar feeling limp in your arms as his own breath hitched twice before a sob broke forth. You heard the rattling clank as he let go of the torturous whip and clung to you as though you were a lifeline. "He forced them to kneel..." the Urizen whispered in another whimper "He looked at m..me with such hatred. At my sons as though they were not worth the dirt beneath his foot, the spit in his mouth."
You opened your own mouth to speak, but he continued. One large and bloody hand stroking yours as you felt a tremble wrack his body. The power of it shook you and it took all your might not to go into blubbering sobs of your own. "I hit Malcador. I hit Guilliman, my own boot-licking brother." a low snarl began to enter his wavering cry "I hit him. And.." he murmured your name, pulling you back so he could look you in the eye.
This was not your Lorgar. Your Lorgar was smiles and stammers. Your Lorgar had a serene focus about him as well as an intensity when he spoke. This man torn asunder with grief and anger was not yours. "It felt satisfying." it seemed to hurt him as he said this "It did not give me joy but I was satisfied at the Sigilite's pain." you trembled at the whispered words.
"Ven...vengeance is not worth the effort, Lorgar.. you.. you've said this-" "This is no longer vengeance, this.." for once he was lost for words, trying to grasp for one before a hiccup tore through his throat with the faint repetition of how the Emperor forced him to kneel. "Just.. please, Lorgar.. Look at me.. Look at me.." you murmured gently, pulling your hands away from his neck to cradle his face. You knew you would cringe later at the sight of the blood and ashes covering you, but for now you were here.
"He does not see the truth.. all I have spoken is the truth.." it was then you saw what was wrong. He was growing lost. If there was the one and only thing you appreciated of Kor Phaeron and the rest of the Word Bearers, it was they they helped Lorgar stay on track. They were more of his family than anyone could have been.. Kor Phaeron more literally even if he was the worst parental figure you could think of.
"It's.. it's not okay what he did, Lorgar.. but please, get cleaned. This isn't healthy." you stroked his ashy skin as he leaned his head against your hand. Closing his eyes and taking a deep shuddering breath. "You are right. There's much to do and.. and my Legion needs their Primarch." that wasn't what you meant. Everyone needed a break sometime or another, Lorgar especially right now. "Y..yes.. they do.." you mumbled after him. If he wanted to work, you would let him work. Anything to stop him from his self abuse. Anything to help comfort him, you would do.
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Allright. Elliott thread that nobody asked for. Part 4
The words you read seem to be some alien gibberish? Try these first:
Part 1   |    Part 2     |   Part 3      
Don’t worry guys. It will be over soon, I promise.
Bevore we start: This happened yesterday.
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And I basically turned into that iCarly gif, where she’s on the Computer, sippin’ her drink and goes: interesting.
Because look who we have here. Our future husband acting all self-aware? Right after I assumed in my last post that he never talks about the possibility of his failure...
Elliott, do you know that I talk shit about you on Tumblr?
Please stop breaking the 4th wall...
To safe at least some of my ‘credibility’, he followed this up with something along the lines of:
“No, no...I am not fishing for compliments. Which does not mean I don't appreciate them ;) “.
Sure. Whatever.
In comparison to that:
A few in-game days previously, I had a cut-scene with Leah, where the player can suggest that she should organise an art show. And there, Leah openly communicated her fears of ppl not liking her art. I was surprised about how open she was, given that it was probably her 2nd heart event or something (?). It's interesting, how Leah (who I perceived to be more reserved than Elliott), was so willing to let us know about her insecurities. Meanwhile, Elliot seems to brush these thoughts aside rather quickly and returns to his nonchalant, graceful self.
I always thought that from the two of them, it might be Elliott who is more vocal about his emotions. But now, Elliott doesn't seem to wear his heart on his sleeves as much as I thought he would. Which changed the way I think about him quite a bit. Maybe he is more likely to hide behind platitudes and a self-assuring smile, after all.
And what can we take from this, when we would want to write, let’s say a scene with Leah/Elliott friendship dynamic?
What do you guys think?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyways, before I was so disgracefully exposed, I was roasting Elliott’s life choices. To which I now gladly return to.
You see, the "issue" I see with Elliott is, that he plays into a trope:
The brooding hermitic author, who turned his back onto society in favour of finding inspiration in nature.
While this might sound thrilling and "romantic", we know that Elliott is not the best candidate to conform to this lifestyle. Just compare, how we as the player, manage to form quite strong relationships with everyone in Pelikan Town just by talking to them regularly.
We see Elliott outside the beach-area quite often. But aside from Leah, he does not seem to interact with anyone much. I don't know if there are statements about Elliott made by other characters, to have some inkling on how they feel about him. But its quite remarkable, how all other friendships outside to his connection with Leah, are not explicitly known as canon (?).
After a whole year living in this town, previous to our arrival, I would suggest, that Elliott might still be very much an outsider. He even remarks how, with our arrival, it will be nice, to no longer be "the new guy" in town.
But the problem with that might have been Elliott's reservedness, to begin with. Polite, but yet, maybe, quite impersonal. All pleasantries and platitudes as mentioned above. It all plays into Elliott's refusal to experience the comforts of a normal lifestyle in favour of pursuing his art.
And I love how Elliott just brushes that aside as if its nothing. I'd really love to know: what would have been his plan b, if his debut failed?
Worst case cenario: What would he'd done, if he ended up stranded in Pelikan Town, penniless and unsuccessful?
Where would he go? Is there a place he can return to? A previous home, previous friends?
I don't think so.
But, dedicated, impuslive, sweet, dumb Elliott just thought to himself:
“I can do that. How bad can it be???, it will be fi~ne.It will be marvellous!
Authentic, truly!
It will be superb pictouresque and that is all I need to write my novel....”
Thanks Yoba. You’ll keep doing that please.
And then we also have interactions of the likes of:
“People have scaped a living off the sea for thousands of years....
I just go to the grocery store.”
A different thought I had on Elliott kind of plays into what I already said previously. But I will adress it as its own topic.
The downside of Elliott’s ego.
As much as we explored the rather whacky / chaotic elements of his character and how he does stupid shit for prestige itself, it is interesting to see what happens when the player challenges his self-dramatisation.
I keep re-thinking if and to what degree Elliott can laugh about himself.
He is not one for self-deprecating humour, I think.
I can imagine that to be more Shane’s thing.
We see different scenarios, in which Elliott reacts differently to things not going his way. One of the positives is the whole “A tiny crab made a home inside his coat pocket”- story. I have seen two interpretations of this scene. And both are dependent on the tone, in which you read his dialogue. One group thinks he is just complaining yet again.
On the other hand, you could read it more like:
“My, look what we have here. Can you believe that [y/name]?!“.
I think that Elliott does not appear to be angry or annoyed at all in that scenario, too. He could have vented to the player, how he needs a new coat, now.  But he simply leaves it at that. And you know what?
But, there are other times, where Elliott reacts negatively to the player not doing what he wants you to do. Meaning:  your reaction to him or your behaviour in a specific situation. Let's look at his 2nd (?) heart event at the Stardrop Saloon. He comes up to the bar, finds himself in the mood for company, and orders wine for you and ale for himself. 
New Headcanon:
That little crab still lives there! It will probably live there long after you two get married. And he will feed it scraps from the dinner table even though you ask him not to.
Whatever...Sounds Cute. 
My first reaction to that was: “aw, wHaT a GeNtLemAn!!!”. My second reaction was my inner feminist having a temper tantrum because: “how dare a man, to assume what I want to drink!” 
New Headcanon on Elliott and gender roles, anyone? Or is it given, that with him being a good old fashioned lover boy, his expectation on any relationship dynamic might be more traditional?
As much as I find Elliott charming and all, this could be a great red flag and, again, beautiful material for character-conflict. Maybe Elliott needs to learn to not take everything at face value. Maybe he needs to learn, how to take a joke. Especially those made at his expense.
However, when the question arises, what the two of you should drink on, he will not laugh if you say “your doom”.
This is not something he sees as sarcasm or as a joke. In fact, you lose 50 friendship points! Like holy shit. That in itself is not much, but its a game-penalty. He is actively reacting negatively toward you. This is one of the few times, where your decision actively has an impact on the friendship-metre. Of course, that statement could be delivered in a non-joking matter. Which then justifies his reaction.... sure.
But even the fact that Elliott chooses, to not downplay or gloss-over your comment, leaves me with the following interpretation:
He hoped for a charming, flirtatious interaction. All you had to do, was to play along. But you ruined it.
Just imagine a situation with a little bit of miss-communication and a version of Elliott that is a little too proud for his own good and *chef's kiss* we have drama.
Me to Elliott and Farmer-OC: fight! fight! fight! fight! :D
All of you reading right now:
omg can't you just chill??? We are here for the fluff :(((
Also: depending on how it's written, that could be one of Elliott's major character flaws. The one that is not cute at all!
__________________________
I wanted to take some jabs at Elliott's likes and dislikes. But as it turned out: Yes, you can turn Duck feathers into quills. I had this funny headcanon that Elliott wanted to be extra special by choosing duck feathers as his preferred writing instrument. And I was all like: “use a pen!!”.
But then I found out about the Unobtainable Weapons-List and Elliott’s pen is one of them. Okay, whatever. 
And then I asked google how to make quills. And while duck feathers are not the preferred or most popular option, there is also nothing that would speak against it, as long as the feather’s shaft is durable enough. So that theory has flown out of the window pretty quickly as well.
The only thing that comes to my mind instead is, how Elliott would still need a digital manuscript for publishing. But me screaming: “Where is your Laptop Elliott??? You need a computer! Its the 21 century!!!” is not half that funny anymore.
I guess I’ll end it here.
I hope you enjoyed this completely useless stream of consciousness.
I will now continue playing Stardew Valley and indulge in all my other quarantine-born obsessions.
I wish you a wonderful day and happy farming.
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roguestarsailor · 4 years
Text
You know what since we’re still in quarantine and i have nothing else better to do, i need to obsess over ACOTAR. I don't like a court of frost and starlight. For the longest time I couldn't figure out why I didn't like it. I aggressively read the book in maybe a day and I closed it feeling frustrated and annoyed. My version had A Court of Silver Flames preview so that definitely contributed to my annoyance greatly.
It's because it felt too perfect. Everything that had happened -- after the entire war was fought and won, they just go back to their normal lives? Yes there were hiccups and yes there were still aspects that made every IC character feel like their problems aren’t solved yet...but it didnt feel right. yes i enjoyed the snowball fight between the bat boys, feyre + rhys sexy time, and those little comfort moments too, the slice of life type things and seeing feyre accomplishing her goals and how hopeful the future seems BUT its too fast. the good parts of the book did not offset the bad parts of it.
Feyre literally accomplished pretty much every single goal she made back in ACOMAF just like that?? within a span of what a few months? a year?? She really came back from an entire war -- probably the first war of many since she's immortal and just like that, after her 21st birthday: she gets a whole entire estate, wants to start poppin babies, opens her art studio and starts teaching kids and then acting like she can rule an entire court?? the timeline is sooo short esp since its been brought up over and over again how everyone is literally 500 years old and have a super “messy” history and their changes seems to come super dupe slowly. but feyre, who has only lived 0.000000002% of her fae life, is out here thriving just fine???
the war devastated thousands of illyrian soldiers where its changing the politics of the illyrains and the faes, all of whom feyre has responsibilities over too as high lady. the mortal queens are still at large who left the humans on prythian to die which is why feyre was willing to go to war in the first place! what about the rest of hybern and their land and residents?? they wanted to enslave humans for social and economical reasons! then what about integrating humans w deep hatred and fear with deeply prejudice fae??? there’s also spring and summer court who are literally in ruins. thats literally so much. so idk how feyre is just chillin???? she gonna let rhys do all the hard work???
like feyre sit down. u should not be having a baby. esp since it took u literally a 700 pages to heal from those 3 months UTM. ur telling me shes gonna whole heartedly bring in a newborn in a war devastated world, with civil unrest (illyrains, other courts), with the messiness of human and fae integration, with trauma u and rhys will have to continue to overcome esp after THIS war??? even helping ur sisters w their traumas??
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this is a personal opinion on this subject (and maybe my thoughts will change on this later on; opened to other thoughts) but when i read the part about how that weaver/seamstress artist who made that dark quilt that feyre loved talked about how her mate of 300 years didn’t come back from the war and her biggest regret was that she didnt have a kid to remember him by i just thought ur kid isn’t some sort of memorabilia. don’t have a kid to keep the memory of ur mate alive; have a kid cuz u want a kid purely for the sake of having a kid. ur memories and photos and shit will keep their memory alive but its not having a kid. some primitive need to keep the genes alive maybe?? but the way it was phrased and then in turn how feyre was like oh i need  a baby pronto cuz rhys might die in the next war and regret not having a kid with him didn’t sit right with me. also the other couple were together for +300 years and have a rich life together, while shes been with rhys for literally two years THATS NOTHING IN FAE YEARS. thats still the honeymoon phase and also ur problems arent even close to being over!!!
everyone was shitty to nesta. in ACOMAF, we saw how much the IC went through and still did all they could to help feyre. what made them not think nesta deserve the same welcome? nesta is mean as a defense but did no one try to figure out what would help (amren got close but shes so under developed)??? feyre knows nesta feels too much and yet she continued to be shitty. continued to flaunt her wealth, her status, her familiarity/borderline know-it-all attitude about fae/night court, her ~estate~. forcing nest to the solstice party when nesta was literally like i dont belong, im looking at everyone through a window type of thing; the fire cracking triggering her, etc. what kind of power play was that when she made nesta come to her estate, where nesta could SEE how ~homey~ and how suscessful feyre is and fully see all the lovely paintings of everyone feyre loves that explicitly exclude her to tell her to fuck off to a war camp?? bro???? cas was a dick too and elaine was rude. i think a lot of his actions were meant to make her angry since anger keeps u fighting (as was the method of rhys for feyre in ACOMAF) but what he said was stupidly shitty and i demand that he apologize properly. elaine could have done more to help her sister but whatever. mor was definitely an ass too (and im upset for how little her character growth is). 
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Lucein. that man can’t catch a break tbh. im happy that hes w the band of exiles cuz he is whole heartedly accepted there. feyre was definitely an asshole to him even tho he helped as much as he could throughout the books. he tries so hard w elaine as well and it did hit my heart a bit when she was like gloves to work in my garden?? no ?? i use my bare hands see oNly aZiReL sEeS mE fOr WhO i Am. and at the same feyre is like flaunting her mate status to lucein which is mean as shit. its like this man can’t find love in prythain. then tamlin sending him his box of his things??? thats for sure brutral. tam was literally his partner through it all; savior of sorts even. no love from IC, no love from elaine, no love from feyre, no love from tamlin, no love from autumn court rejected everywhere! also HIS TRUE FATHER?? HEllo??? 
then on tamlin. i pity the guy! was i suppose to feel that way??? it felt like he is allowed to get a redemption arc and maybe i’ll even root for a redemption arc??? i was absolutely excited for freysand in ACOMAF but after ACOFAS, im like tamlin is....not completely bad??? his relationship w feyre was bad and the controlling parts were very much a no-no. i dont truly understand the dynamics of an abusive relationship but i can understand that it can be insidious and its the little things that hurt the victim. and i felt  feyre through ACOMAF and rooted for her to escape her abuser! but then it felt like i dont think he was doing any of those things out of malice. ill say tamlin is a bad leader and doesn’t know how to run a court outside of what he sees his father do. his understanding on everything is based on the traditions of the past which i think fueled most of the things he did i.e. not telling feyre she was in danger since maybe his mom didn’t do those war planning things. ACOTAR showed how he truly cared/loved and took good care of feyre and her family. he even talked about how he didn’t believe in the enslavement of humans! i think that tam wanted to preserve what he thought was the good (aka feyre + her love of painting) and get back a sense of control that he and his entire court lost while chained to amarantha. but at the same time, i think he truly thought feyre wasn’t safe. he knows rhys can crush minds and knows feyre can’t read/write so when he got that letter telling him shes safe of course hes gonna flip shit and made a deal w the devil (although those temper outbursts were DEFINITIVELY not ok!!!). he also didn’t listen and has sense of he knows best when feyre was not the type of person. but feyre destroyed his entire court. he lost all his sentries who literally went out to die for him during amarantha’s reign. he lost lucien too; his trusted right hand man. his people were cursed for 50 years and then continued to suffer UTM and was in the process of rebuilding too!  but just seeing spring court, WHO BORDERS THE HUMANS, be in ruins where his subjects left him, his people left him and hes all alone in the manson?? that was sooo sad. so im like why does what feyre did not feel satisfactory????? im mad that it didn’t feel right??? maybe there wasn’t a point where feyre talked to tamlin -- like really talked to him esp w her new found voice and power, etc. anyways, i dont hate tamlin and was like oh shit i think feyre fucked up a bit there.
rhys is a dick to nesta. which made me think, if feyre wasn’t his mate would he extend the same love and care to her???  i loved how he tried so hard to make sure feyre was ok. made sure she wasn’t breaking! all of it! but for nesta, he had the audacity to use his high lord voice and be an ass overall. even tho he can see how cas is fucken in love??? even just how he talks to cass feels off too. 
i’ll even go as far as to say because of how terrible ACOFAS was, it created this intense divide within the fandom. i remember reading the first three books and was absolutely 1) rooting for freysand  2) curious about the sister relationship and how it will be mended 3) i definitely didn’t hate nesta nor did i hate elaine either -- but i was adament about them talking it out with feyre for those tough times 4) saw a more realistic and charming healing arc 5) was rooting for feyre to be a stronger voice and grow into herself 6) love the dynamic of the inner circle + feyre
but after ACOFAS, I have this intense need to defend nesta and was super mad at how she was treated after the war and in turn a deep dislike for elaine for both her lack of agency, lack of grit that made all the other characters interesting, and lack of care for her sisters (who showed how much they would risk for her). i dont hate rhys but i was extremely not happy with him and his attitude and behavior. feyre became more arrogant and was acting like how asshole rhysand would act. like her life is perfect now and i was not rooting for her anymore. freysand didn’t feel like they have complimenting qualities that made them interesting in the first place but rather they are merging to become the same person but in a bad way. that mind reading thing was cute in the beginning but it became insufferable since all thoughts were shared so seamlessly it made reading feel weird. 
anyways those are my thoughts on ACOFAS. it was a 1/5 stars for me and im mad those events transpired. reading the other books made me excited to know what was gonna happen and i was truly ready to accept the characters as flawed and nuanced as they are. im not mad about character not liking each other but i am mad that everything felt off. ACOFAS just felt regressive in some parts and forced in other parts. i know not everything ends in a nice tied up bow but this book single handily ruined what i thought about these characters in the worse way possible. this book wasn’t suppose to wrap up all the problems that exists in the other books but it didn’t feel hopeful like i thought it would. it didn’t feel wrapped up and didn’t feel like i should be excited about the next books. theres so many missing pieces i feel that i think need explaining and at the same time, i think it introduced too many problems at once which made it feel like its jumping around everywhere. although im still excited for ACOSF because i love nesta, and nesta deserves so much better and i want to have hope that this bad ending will either make sense later on or it was just a blimp.
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lovelyirony · 4 years
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Title: I wish i could forget you
Tony Stark was not supposed to be in the car when Howard and Maria Stark attended a Christmas holiday party for another company. In fact, Hydra had wanted him to stay home. 
Unfortunately, Tony had ticked off Howard a bit too much, and so here he was in a tuxedo that was a bit too big, uncomfortably shiny shoes, and a temper that was close to blowing. 
Thank god they were almost home. 
When a car crashes, one almost can’t believe it. Tony can see the outside blurring, and he can hear glass crunching, and he hears things that he really doesn’t want to hear. He is fairly sure that Maria screamed. 
A metal arm. 
Huh. 
Well, not the most typical. He also doesn’t think that the man knows he’s here. 
Howard and Maria Stark are killed. Tony feels like shit because he couldn’t do anything. His forehead is bleeding and he didn’t want to move out of fear for himself, which seems selfish, but also maybe a survival instinct? 
God, his bow-tie is still constricting air flow. 
Once the man turns, Tony realizes that he wasn’t the target. They probably had no idea he was in the car, whoever “they” were. 
He gets out of the car. The car door creaks, and the man whips around. 
His eyes widen. 
“You--what?” 
The voice is surprisingly American. 
Surprisingly? He’s not sure why it’s surprising, it’s not like an American can’t kill just look at history, but still, Kind of surprising. 
"What, wasn’t supposed to be here?” Tony rasps out. He realizes now that he’s basically sent himself a death sentence as the man surges forward. 
“What are you doing here?” 
His eyes are piercing. Also very, very familiar with some photographs that Peggy has on her mantle and her desk. 
James “Bucky” Barnes. Son of a bitch. 
“What are you doing alive?” Tony asks. “I thought you were lost in a ravine in Europe somewhere.” 
“What--huh?” 
“Ravine. In Europe. You know who you are, right? Is this some kind of sick...what did they do to you?” 
“I do not know what you are talking about.” 
His eyes get cold again. 
“Who are you?” 
“I am the Asset.” 
It is now that Tony realizes that every single shitty sci-fi book is probably right, and his disdain of “wacky science” and “magic” have all been for nothing, because here is Bucky Barnes, who apparently has no idea who he is. 
Then Tony gets knocked on his ass. His body slams against the icy road, and Barnes is rushing towards a motorcycle. 
And he’s alone. He can’t breathe, all the wind knocked out of his chest. He thinks he broke a couple of ribs. 
No one believes him. At all. SHIELD brushes it aside. 
“There’s no way Barnes could be alive. You were probably just seeing things,” they tell him. “Would you like us to find you a therapist?” 
“No,” Tony says, and they ask why. He laughs, sipping on his water. “SHIELD has so much loyalty to itself, I’m afraid I’d be compromised.” 
“Therapists aren’t supposed to divulge any information,” Nick Fury adds carefully. “And we’re a secret-keeping bunch. Nothing goes out that comes in.” 
“Unless, of course, it’s necessary,” Tony drawls, staring at Fury. God, the leather outfit...that’s weird. “Then I’m out in the open, Nicky. And what fun is that unless I get to show off an outfit in full-coverage?” 
“...I’ll have an agent escort you home. We’ll have guards overnight.” 
“Don’t bother.” 
“And why is that? Think you can handle it by yourself?” 
“Fury, my family has made a career out of thinking a lot of things. You’re not being as detrimental as you think.” 
He finger-waves, grinning and winking at agents on the way out. 
Now comes paranoia. This is welcome, actually, because it’s allowing him to work up new security measures and hack into various security cameras around the world to see if he can find Barnes. 
It’s like he’s a ghost. And fuck, maybe Fury was right. Tony doesn’t like that, but that may be it. 
Merry fucking Christmas. 
Years go by, and Tony keeps a tiny ear to any news about mysterious deaths that can’t be explained. A man that glows in lamp-light, has no identity. He’s not sure if it could be Barnes. God knows he’s no longer seventeen, and Barnes--it if it was Barnes--would be way older. He should’ve been an old man in 1991, but he wasn’t. 
It kind of reminds him of the conspiracy theory that Walt Disney was kept cryogenically frozen, which is just ridiculous, because as far as he’s concerned, you’d need a bit more to you than just regular skin and bones. 
And this is where it hits him. 
Barnes was experimented on when he was captured by Hydra. Peggy told him that Rogers told her that he was repeating his dog tag number over and over, as if someone was trying to take him over. 
Yeah, you’d need a bit more. 
Like a fucking super soldier serum. 
This then delves into Tony realizing that if Barnes is flash-frozen, then...well, could Rogers have survived? He always thought his dad was crazy, but a broken clock is right twice a week or however the hell that saying goes. He never used it, he wasn’t a broken clock. 
(He was broken, but he’s not going to compare himself to a clock. Perhaps  Model-T.) 
They find Rogers. Tony realizes Howard did his math completely wrong for years, and probably never let anyone look at it because he was a World Super Genius. And a Colossal Dick. 
Steve Rogers is one tough cookie to crack. Tony chips off some of the ice and puts it in a glass of scotch. 
“Do you really think that’s the most appropriate thing to do?” Phil Coulson asks. 
He’s shocked, but mainly because Tony has seen his Cap collection, and that man has so many limited edition cards and lunchboxes that it’s a bit crazy. But at least he knows how to decorate with it and not have it look like an absolute nutjob swept into his house and did it all in red-white-and-blue. 
“Phil, my darling, when have I ever done anything the appropriate way?” Tony asks. He stares at the face that’s emerging out of the ice. “Besides, what else are you going to do with this ice, hm? Besides melt it all off?” 
Steve is a miracle. Every scientist on earth wants to poke and prod at him. 
Tony breaks him out of SHIELD in a week, because he swears to shit if one more scientist asks to take blood samples “to see how going under Arctic temperatures affects the bloodstream” (and also take DNA for cloning) he’s going to lose it. 
Fury yells at him for two hours. 
Steve flips Fury off from the couch, where he’s been channel-surfing for the better part of three hours. 
“You’ve already corrupted him,” Fury scowls. “Rogers, we need to talk--” 
“He’s retired,” Tony says. 
(Steve is not, technically. Hasn’t said anything. But Tony is putting him on mandatory retirement for at least a year.) 
“What’s...what the ever-loving fuck is that?” Steve asks. 
An infomercial. For an automated chair. Mostly used for old people. 
Tony grins. 
“You wanna see how fast I can launch you out of one?” 
“I’m going to say yes. Professionally.” 
Ten miles an hour, and Steve goes flying across the room into a pile of pillows. 
It’s not the end-all solution. God knows Steve calls him “Howard” and asks where a lot of nasty food is, and sometimes can’t tell the difference between what his brain is seeing and what is actually there. 
But Tony gets him help. And Steve goes to art school. 
It’s all very funny, actually. Steve rants about “modern art” and how “if he could kill any concept it would be abstract expressionism, what the fuck.” 
Tony buys and then donates a Rothko in his honor. 
Steve fumes, but finds it hilarious. 
Then, there’s the attack on New York. 
Norse god of mischief decides to end New York, blah blah blah. 
Captain America reappears, everyone loses their shit, and Tony almost dies. 
Then he gets four other roomies besides Steve, and he has to make a chore chart. Ugh. 
Barnes reappears in France. Tony gets a fairly good image, and Natasha stills. 
“You know about Winter Soldier?” 
“Barnes? Yeah.” 
“You know who he is?” 
“James Barnes. At least, I think. He tried to kill me, wasn’t very successful at it.” 
Steve overhears. 
This leads to a chain of events that ends in Steve not coming to family dinner because he’d rather sit in his room and listen to Green Day or Glenn Miller or whatever the hell gets him even more upset. 
“Listen, Steve, I’m sorry. But up until this picture? I was only about sixty percent sure I wasn’t full of beans.” 
“Why is that the phrase you use?” 
“What, full of beans? Bruce says I have to work on my cursing. Apparently, children are impressionable. Who knew?” 
It’s not a total success. Steve still doesn’t like that Tony didn’t outright tell him, but Tony isn’t going to tell Steve that he has the mental stability of a single cashew. 
So begins the hunt for Barnes. Which actually isn’t too bad. 
He’s in DC. Not for any political clean-up, unfortunately. He’s trying to kill Fury. Tony doesn’t know why, at least until he looks up Pierce, who’s technically, mostly retired from SHIELD. 
And yet still uses most resources that technically? He needs more than one authorization from multiple people. 
God, people are getting bad at covering their tracks. Used to be harder to catch and see if someone was doing dirty deals. 
(Okay, not like he can talk because Obie was...well, no use in discussing that now. He needs to focus.) 
Nat and Steve are bad at lying. This kind of surprises him, because Steve is usually a successful liar. He’s convinced Clint that it’s not him who keeps eating his peanut-butter-fudge ice cream, but Thor. 
And Natasha used to be Natalie Rushman. Then again, Tony was poisoned during that one, so that might just be on him. 
-
Helicarriers go in the water. 
Tony’s working on making sure most of the information doesn’t reach the general public, although he can’t stop it all. 
Barnes falls off the face of the earth, and Steve wants to go on another treasure hunt. 
“Let him come to us, or figure himself out.” 
“This isn’t a college kid going backpacking in Europe for a year,” Nat snaps. “He’s...you know who he is, who he was, and what he can do.” 
“Counterpoint: we don’t know if he secretly really wanted to see traditional decoration of Ukrainian Easter eggs,” Tony says. “God knows that I want to learn more about that.” 
“Is everything a joke to you?” 
"Only on federally mandated holidays,” Tony says with a shrug. “But let him be. Steve, it’s one thing that he didn’t kill you. It’s another thing that he hauled you up from the Potomac. I’m not sure I would’ve done that because who goes up alone to a helicarrier?” 
“Historically nobody,” Natasha says. “Most people don’t have any helicarriers.” 
“God, this situation sucks,” Tony says. “What if. We potentially. Ignore all of it and have spinach and artichoke dip? Hm?” 
“With toasted bread?” 
“I’m not an animal, Steve.” 
“Your penchant for four a.m. coffee while you don’t realize you’re singing songs from the seventies says otherwise,” he responds. 
“Well well well, if it isn’t the punishment of you getting the aux taken away for a week,” Tony taunts. 
“Oh, come on!” Steve whines. 
“Nope, just you having to listen to more of Bruce’s questionable tastes.” 
“Fuck.” 
Barnes comes stateside. The only reason Tony knows this is because Jarvis says that he may have spotted Barnes, but he’s not sure. 
“J, you’re the most advanced system in the world, not to mention my son, and you like to hack into the Pentagon for funsies.” 
“All of that could not have prepared me for this.” 
Barnes is wearing a neon green tank top that is advertising Coco Beach in Florida. 
“Can I laugh? Or is that sad?” 
“Multitask, Sir.” 
“Oh, true.” 
Barnes is not in New York. Tony has to near-about put an electric fence around the whole state so that Steve doesn’t go on a road trip. 
Hell, Tony doesn’t even trust him to go to coffee alone, but that’s a bit much. 
“We have to wait,” Tony says. 
Sam Wilson is a godsend. Also the funniest man Tony knows. 
He is also emotionally healthy and very perceptive, so he has been noticing that Tony is nervous. 
Because how do you face the man who killed your parents? Technically? 
“Are you talking to your therapist?” Sam asks. “Just thinking you should.” 
“Sam, we’re working on my issues from 2007. Believe it or not, it will be taking a full year.” 
“I don’t like that I can never tell if you’re serious.” 
“I know you remember the tabloids from 2007, I wrote a mesh vest. Clearly, I need so much help.” 
Sam snorts. 
“Maybe. Hey, I’ll catch you later. Clint and I are gonna go try and find some questionable shirts to crop.” 
“Did his little protege convince you? Bishop, right?” 
“Kate, yeah. She’s convinced our public image will go viral or something. Good luck with helping Steve and Nat with your super-soldier hunt.” 
“Thanks. Let me know if you find a shirt with my face on it. I want it.” 
Sam snorts. 
“Will do.” 
Bucky Barnes comes to New York in early May. The springtime is slowly but surely fading off, sun approaching more and more. Tony is enjoying coffee on a veranda, and then suddenly his waiter is nowhere to be found and he’s not entirely sure if his visitor takes credit or debit. 
“Can I help you?” 
“Maybe. Depends on if you’re gonna kill me or not.” 
“I think Steve would be a bit broken up about it.” 
“Do you care what he thinks?” 
“On this situation? Yes. When it comes to culinary choices? No.” 
There’s a ghost of a smile on his face. Tony’s trying extremely hard not to remember shattered glass and a motorcycle on ice. 
“Can we, uh, table this conversation? For later. Espresso and all that, plus the added bonus of our shared history, so...” 
“Shared history?” 
“You don’t remember?” Tony asks. Bucky shakes his head. “Ah. Then this is truly a comedy of errors. Maybe. Um. Listen, I, uh...I gotta go. You need to talk to Nat or Steve or hell, maybe even Thor. Is Thor a good option?” 
“I’m sorry, what?” 
“Barnes, I can’t exactly face you right now.” 
And then he jumps off a balcony. 
A fucking balcony. 
Jesus H. Christ, his therapist is gonna be so excited for their next session. 
The suit wraps itself around him, and he can finally breathe, and he’s thinking about calling Pepper and see if she would like to schedule him a vacation for maybe anywhere but New York and Iowa. 
“Why not Iowa?” Pepper asks. “They have good antique stores. I’ve gotten quite a few good finds for clothes.” 
“I can do shopping retail literally anywhere else, absolutely not.” 
“Spoilsport. Steve know you’re leaving?” 
“I didn’t even really tell Steve what happened with my parents.” 
“Oh, your therapist called. She sounded concerned, but also intrigued.” 
“It’s because Sally almost became an employee of NASA and still has a soft spot for aerodynamics.” 
“What exactly did you do when faced with Barnes?” 
“Check the front tabloid page tomorrow, just tell everyone I’m out of town.” 
“Got it. And Tony?” 
Her voice is soft. 
“Yes, dear?” 
He can feel her rolling her eyes. Affectionately, of course, but rolling all the same. 
“Be safe, and come back. You know Rhodey and I miss you.” 
“I miss you too.” 
A week is spent in Malibu. He really is thinking about selling this place. But for now, it suffices. 
Steve texts him. 
bucky’s back. holy shit 
be back in a week. radio silence. 
got it. no more messages from me. thor tells me to tell you that he broke the sink 
:(((( 
And that’s it. He’s sitting in the house for a week, has already called Sally once and explained how his suit works, and then listened to her talk about how “his reliance on the suit to help him escape unfavorable situations is not exactly the healthiest but also none of my clients have had to face someone who is of weird standing.” 
It’s no secret that Tony doesn’t like Howard Stark. Who would’ve liked that sorry excuse for a father, a man who was so cold-hearted the Arctic looked like a tropical paradise? 
Maria was...Maria was different. 
She wasn’t a good mother. No, she was never a good mother. But she tried, and she didn’t deserve her fate. 
And then there was the question of Bucky Barnes. Who wasn’t Bucky when he was there, but still so damn recognizable. 
It’s kind of like when there’s a movie about a famous person, and another person plays them. Like Tom Hanks, essentially. Bucky played whoever the fuck they get Tom Hanks to play and it’s similar: you see the resemblance, but it’s not it. 
So yeah. 
There’s also the little tidbit that things get complicated when you involve personal feelings and rationality, and really? Tony misses New York. A lot. And he’s not going to let someone else overtake his life just because he’s uncomfortable. 
So he flies back to New York. 
He’s in a bad way, Barnes is. 
“He remembered you,” Steve says. “What he did.” 
“Ah, there’s that.” 
“He doesn’t have to be here,” Natasha says. “I have a couple of SHIELD safe houses to choose from.” 
“None would be adequate to house something like me,” comes the response. 
Barnes looks remarkably shitty, as if he hasn’t slept in eighty years. And maybe he hasn’t. 
“Jail would be more fitting.” 
Tony rolls his eyes. 
“You are literally the most dramatic person ever, and Bruce threatened to take over the government because Thor ate the last croissant. Put those on the grocery list, Steve
“We’re not gonna throw you in jail,” he continues on. “Not because you happened to be used as a goddamned Swiss army knife. I have issues, sure, but I’m not going to be going all Hannibal Lecter or whatever.” 
“Who the hell is that?” 
“Cannibal. I realized that that’s a terrible comparison, please forgive me.” 
“Why a cannibal?” 
“Couldn’t think of anything else but Anthony Hopkins, the actor. My mistake. Point is, we’re gonna have to go through some channels, and I’m introducing you to BARF, as well as a new person who’s gonna rock your world.” 
“I’m pretty much well-acquainted with vomit.” 
“No, not that,” Tony says. “Although we can cover that through my 2005 edition of partying if we really wanna dig up some old magazine interviews. No, I’m introducing you to something that’s going to change your life.” 
-
After that, Tony doesn’t have much to do with Bucky’s life. 
He serves as a permanent guilt trip, nothing says “well, shit” much like being a permanent guilt trip. 
Sally tells him that they should talk it out. Do all that “and how do you feel?” questioning that makes his skin crawl and his eyes ascend to the ceiling. 
I mean yeah, they share a living space. Tony has seen Bucky laugh and smile with Sam, talk with Bruce about a really interesting article about regeneration of plant cells or whatever, and Bucky enjoys videochatting with Wakandan royalty. 
(It also helps that Shuri is blunt as ever, but so blisteringly smart. He’s reading her paper on regeneration of nanotechnology, and it just...it’s the Pieta of research, that paper.) 
But he never speaks to Bucky. Well, he does. But it’s more along the lines of “hey Barnes” and “how are you?” which aren’t exactly the Most Thought Provoking Statements Ever Made. 
Summer comes swiftly, and about near with a vengeance. Tony’s dealing with a heat wave and trying to figure out if going outside is even worth it, and then he and Bucky are alone in the kitchen. 
Tony was debating getting a couple of popsicles from the freezer. Bucky is considering sabotaging Clint’s smoothie that was supposed to be special for tonight, but that he’ll most likely forget. 
“Hey,” Bucky says. “Um, can we talk?” 
Shit. 
He’s been avoiding this, officially, for a month. Potentially more if you’re going to count a few choice events that have been brought up by his psyche. 
“Sure thing, buttercup. What are we talking about. Economy, world crises, the great debate on financial advice?” 
“Isn’t the third thing just the economy?” 
“We can break it down over coffee.” 
“Mm, maybe another time. No, I’m talking about us. About how I--I kind of ruined your life.” 
Tony blinks. 
“You didn’t ruin my life. If my life was ruined you’d be hit with so many lawsuits that I could make the rest of your life look like the third circle of Hell, or wherever it is that people go nowadays in Dante’s eyes. No, you didn’t ruin my life.” 
“I still killed your parents.” 
“If you hadn’t, someone else would’ve. Believe me, there were about fifteen others in line. Sometimes, myself included.” 
“You can’t not take me seriously,” Bucky stresses. “I still did a terrible thing. I just want to make sure you know that you’re being too kind.” 
“I most certainly am not,” Tony says. “Being too kind would have me feeding you grapes.” 
Bucky’s face blanks. 
“Don’t. I...I don’t wanna take advantage of your hospitality. I don’t want to remind you of what happened.” 
“You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t wanted,” Tony says. “Believe me. And if you want to leave, you’re free to leave. I don’t want to make you feel like you need to stay here.” 
“I...I want to make it up to you.” 
“Then use BARF and review it,” Tony says. “I’m serious. I need user feedback, and you’re the best candidate for it. Also, please try to convince Steve to wear neon yellow. I just want to see if he’ll do it.” 
Steve wears neon yellow. Tony laughs so hard he cries. 
Bucky smiles. 
It’s a nice smile, really. It’s wide and happy and wow. That’s all worth it. 
And then BARF. Bucky just gives user feedback, nothing else. Tony doesn’t want to know anything else, but they start talking more. 
Tony finds out that Bucky’s been doing crosswords to catch up on current events, and he’s bought taped recordings of World Series games. 
He loves antique stores. He visits them and brings home little trinkets that he remembers in his own house, or what he remembered. He watched old commercials from the fifties and sixties, laughed as he remembered the Sears catalogs that would come in the mail. 
“Me an’ my sisters would beg my mom for new clothes from the catalog, and she never would. Always sewed our pants and skirts so damn well, I probably could’ve used them for the next ten years.”  
Tony laughs. 
“Well, I can’t promise I can sew. But I could give you some armor that could last you twenty years, if you want. Steve told me you’re thinking about doing some distance missions.” 
“Just observation, no armor required.” 
“Sometimes it’s the simple missions that get the worst hits,” Tony says. “Believe me, I know how it goes. So, do you want some armor?” 
Bucky smiles. 
“Sure.” 
“I’ll need feedback.” 
“I’ll give it all I’ve got.” 
Bucky is a goddamned dream to design for. He knows exactly what he needs, what areas are most likely to be pierced, and also has a flair for the dramatic: he requests an Iron Man helmet be embroidered on the back. 
“You’re really just trying to be sweet on me, aren’t you?” Tony teases. 
“My master plan to gain your fortune,” Bucky teases right back. “I’ll waste it all on champagne pools and the worst-looking but most expensive shoes I can find.” 
Tony laughs. 
“Sugar, that’d be incredible if you could spend all of my money on that. I’d commend you.” 
Bucky smiles, and it shouldn’t be as nice of a smile as it is, but here Tony is with his opinions and his concerning thought that maybe he wants to see more of Bucky. 
In the morning, there begins a routine. Tony is always up at eight o’clock. It’s a rare lull in Avenger-morning-routines: Nat, Steve, and Bruce are all done, and Thor and Clint won’t be in until ten o’clock at the earliest. 
(What can he say? Thor’s a god and Clint...well. He needs a lot of beauty sleep.) 
Tony makes coffee, and Bucky makes them both breakfast. Says that officially, it’s to test and make sure that his prosthetic is still performing under optimal conditions. 
(They both know that’s not it.) 
Tony always says he pours too much water, makes enough for two cups. 
Steve calls them out on it. 
“You two are being weird,” he says. “And not like Thor and Bruce trying to reenact that one show about ghosts and unsolved things.” 
“That’s their form of courtship, don’t be fucking rude,” Clint remarks. Natasha snorts. 
“What, us being weird?” Tony asks, pouring a bit more coffee into Bucky’s mug. He always uses too much creamer and then won’t finish his coffee unless there’s more. “Why do you say that?” 
“It’s because you both do couple shit,” Bruce says, breezing into the kitchen. “Also, Steve, lovely to see that you have volunteered to be the next guest on Avengers: Unsolved. We’re planning on using you as a guilt-trip in order to access files about aliens.” 
“Truth will be found!” Thor adds. “But also, yes. Bucky, I thought you were taking him on a date to the art museum on Saturday.” 
Bucky turns red. So does Tony. It really is quite inconvenient. 
“I mean, we could go on a date there,” Tony says. “If you’re okay with that.” 
“You’re doing this in public?” Natasha asks, eyebrows raised. “Hm. Would not have called that.” 
“You owe me fifteen dollars,” Bucky says. “Not you Tony, quit looking at me like that. Yes, it will be a date on Saturday, I’ll wear a nice shirt. Nat said that I couldn’t do anything that surprised her.” 
“Technically, Tony surprised me.” 
“I thought dates were mutual events, hm? Fifteen dollars. I’ll use it to buy the best bouquet in New York.” 
“The best bouquet costs over a thousand dollars,” Thor answers. 
“Not questioning how you know that, but I’m scared of you,” Bucky says. “Then I will get the best fifteen-dollar-bouquet in New York.” 
Tony snorts, smiling. 
“I guess I’ll spray a bit of my perfume on my pillow then, soldier.” 
“I’ll pick you up at noon sharp,” Bucky says, grinning. He finishes his coffee. “We’ll make fun of Steve’s art exhibit together.” 
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heresathreebee · 3 years
Text
A Real Date
[Ava Starr x Female!Reader] 
Summary: You and Ava trying a dinner date that goes very wrong (just kidding it's actually fine). 
Previous Masterlist Next
Word count: 1.8k words
Warning(s): 13+ | no-snap au, post-Ant Man and the Wasp, swearing, internalized homophobia(?), I think I’m working through something here this might be a little personal (sorry in advance), past relationship angst, presumed past of dating multiple genders but there is no definitive sexuality established for reader in the present, this was going to be something else but the story took over and I had to roll with it. 
Author's note: no-snap au, post-Ant Man and the Wasp. I’m sorry I do not edit anymore, it only serves to stand in my way. This is part 3 of Ava Starr series beginning with Strawberry Soda. Art by Artmilla on DeviantArt (correct me if I’m wrong please)
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It's important to note that not everything you see in media is the hegemonic truth. Take sapphic dating rituals for example: in media it’s a constant joke about how fast people move in together and own pets and plants like they were soulmates and always meant to be together. Which is nice to see– it’s not meant to be a cruel joke– but it does paint a picture of perfection. It doesn’t explicitly state whether your future wife is your first or fiftieth girlfriend but it sure as shit might lead you to believe every girl might be your last. 
Real people don’t work that way. Real people have different interests, different lives, different traumas, different styles and needs. Every relationship is new and it has to be done deliberately and with care for what you and your partner want. So when you think about your relationship with Ava you can’t help but feel a little guilty. 
Ava seems to like to take things slow. Your relationship prioritizes quality time over physical touch which you're fine with, but you can’t help it if you compare the details to other people you’ve dated. You’ve known each other for three months and in every other relationship by this time, you and your previous partners had hit a ton of milestones that you and Ava had just… not. So when you bring up the prospect of a ‘real date’ to Ava one night while cooking pasta in your kitchen, Ava chuckles. 
“And what exactly constitutes as a ‘real date?’” 
The television is playing some daytime television game show and the volume’s on low. You pass her the salt and take a swig from your beer with a shrug. Already you feel silly for bringing it up. 
“Dinner. A movie. Sometimes both, I guess,” you say, flustered. 
Ava raises an eyebrow at the softening bowtie noodles in the pot. “We’re having dinner right now…? Name one time we haven’t come back to your place to watch a movie.” 
“The time the power went out and we played jenga by candlelight. But I– I mean like a date outside of the house.”
“We go to out to parks, the antique mall, lunch, the arcade–” 
“Well, yeah I guess you’re right I just don’t know I still feel like–”  
“Again, how is any of it different from a ‘real date?’” 
“I don’t know! Just… just forget it.” you’re trying not to be bitter about it but you don’t even know what you mean so how could you explain it? 
Ava calls your name softly and you already feel hot shame lick up your neck when you see her face. “I didn’t mean it like that, I– I just don’t think I understand what you mean and I want to! Honestly…” 
You sigh and lean closer to her, careful not to touch but you want her to know you’re not mad. “No, I’m sorry. I just… I’ve been stuck on it for a week but I can’t seem to figure out why. Everything you’re saying I agree with but there’s still this nagging voice in my head telling me it’s not fair or I’m doing it wrong but I don’t know what it even is and I–” 
You collapse onto the kitchen floor breathless. What the fuck were you even saying? Why was this bothering you so much? What ‘s different about this relationship than any other relationship you’ve already had? Your eyes are darting back and forth and your head is a million miles away. You keep talking as if saying it out loud will make your impulsive and intrusive thoughts and motivations clearer to you. 
“It’s out of order. No, it’s not but it’s… with Jordan and Becky and Hal, I went on three dates before it felt normal. We did the traditional getting to know you stuff. Damien and Palavi were straight physical– not traditional at all but that still felt good enough somehow. And– and it’s not that I don’t believe what we have isn’t real, I just–
“Fuck, I don’t know! It feels a little like my relationship with Kat.” You can’t believe it but then the words were out there. You had never told anybody about Kat– Ava was still learning about the rest of them– but the instant those words left your mouth you regretted them. Ava was not Kat. 
For instance, Ava slipped down to sit beside you on the floor– Kat would never lower herself to meet your eye. Ava looked at you and she saw you– Kat chose to ignore your feelings whenever it became more convenient to do so. Kat made you feel special and yet not special enough– OK maybe they shared a little bit of that. A tiny, micro piece of that. 
“What was Kat like?” She said the words softly and without an ounce of jealousy. 
You gather your mind with a deep breath. “Dating Kat was like being strapped to a rocket. It was like being a part of something bigger and stronger than me. Being with her made me feel inconsequential and sometimes I liked that, but then… then I realized I was just a dirty little secret. Kat liked me because I was convenient to her, not because she actually cared about me. 
“When we talked or hung out, it had to be on her terms. No public, no friends or family, no social media. No one was allowed to know. She passed it off as just wanting me for herself but after she dumped me for something better I realized she never saw me as her equal. And it just… I was already in a dark place and that place just kind of got a whole lot darker after that. I felt especially not special.” 
You lean back and rest your head on the cabinet under the sink. “I know that’s not you. Maybe I’m just tired of feeling like I have to hide a part of myself. I did a lot of stupid things in the public eye with Palavi, maybe part of that was because I was proud of who I am and I wanted everyone to know it?” 
“I think I care too much about what other people think of me,” you said closing your eyes. 
You didn’t expect to feel Ava lean her head against your shoulder but you don’t pull away. God, you could never pull away even as you worry she may be causing herself harm just to comfort you and your rambling. Her hair tickles a bit and smells like strawberries and lavender. 
Ava lifted her head after a moment. “Let’s go on a real date then.” 
~
Why the fuck were you so nervous? This was your idea! You had trouble picking a restaurant and picking a day and picking your clothes out and picking where to sit. So many choices with so much meaning or none at all. You just need this to be perfect because you hoped maybe this is what you need to stop that nagging in your head. 
You made the call to meet each other there. You made the suggestion that it had to be somewhere nice– as in get dressed up nice. And darling, sweet, patient Ava let you have the control you so desperately needed. She offered suggestions here and there, and it helped you narrow everything down to a science. You feel a little self conscious sitting by yourself in your get up but you knew she'd be there on time. 
It's just a matter of whether or not you could sit still for five more minutes. 
You hold the cloth napkin in your palms to try and soak up the sweat. Forcing yourself to sit unnaturally still and you haven't touched your wine because you just know you'll get it everywhere somehow. Your eyes trace over the table to stop yourself from meeting the eyes of other patrons. Do nothing, wait it out. 
Ava is stunning and you don't know she's there until the wait staff places the dinner menus in front of you. So much for pulling out her chair like you wanted to– but she's here and you break out into a big smile. 
"You look amazing," you tell her. 
Ava smiles and takes a sip of the rosé you ordered. The dim lighting in the room seems to soften the contours of her face but never the sharpness of her bright eyes. Something blossoms inside you and you feel it– that thing that's been bothering you like a knot in your stomach turns into a seed and its flowering now. This is your girlfriend. Not your friend who is a girl– your significant other. She's important to you and she has decided that she feels the same way about you. 
You feel your body unwind, reaching across the table like you might touch her hand then stop an inch from her empty plate. She watches you curiously but without fear. After a beat, it's Ava who finishes the contact. She slips her hand into yours and you are delighted to discover she's not a corporeal being you've convinced yourself is real. Her skin is a little dry around the palm and she has calluses you never knew were there and she's real and this is happening. 
You resist the urge to squeeze her fingers. Let her lead. Trust her to move away if she experiences any pain. She looks away from you with a flustered face you've never seen her wear and takes another draft of her wine. 
"This is nice," she says softly. 
You eat off each others' plates and you laugh together, and if anyone's watching you wouldn't know because for once you couldn't give a rat's ass what anyone thinks. You're with your person, for now or forever doesn't matter because she's letting you hold her hand and talk about a play you want to take her to on Saturday. Your heart flutters in your chest the whole way home and it’s not until you’re standing at your front door does her hand finally slip from yours. The feeling lingers though and your face hurts from smiling. 
“This everything you wanted,” she asked. 
“Yes,” you reply, “yes it was. Thank you for indulging me, it’s exactly what I needed.” 
“I enjoyed it too.” She steps closer, seemingly reluctant to leave just yet. “We’re still going to see Rocky Horror Picture Show, right?” 
“Absolutely,” you beam, “trust me, you’re gonna love it, it’s wild.” You blow her a kiss to send her on her way and spend the next hour giggling to yourself until you finally pass out from exhaustion.
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faejilly · 4 years
Text
Until the time...
Inspired by Nile listening to Frank Ocean, and the idea of where they might be their first Christmas, as a family that’s still a bit more broken pieces than one entire unit. (Implied Kaysanova & Andromaquynh.) For @morallygreywaren as part of @theoldguardevents 2020 Gift Exchange, with thanks to @glorious-spoon​ & @shadoedseptmbr​ for extra eyes when I wasn’t sure it made sense. ❤
also on AO3
Andy doesn't listen to music.
Not on purpose, or not as far as Nile can tell, at least. She doesn't engage when someone else flicks on the stereo in the kitchen, the radio in the car, never hums or sings along. Nile's not sure she even hears the words, not really.
But sometimes Nile will hear something on a breeze, faint and whispery, music like the memory of a ghost, and she'll look at Andy and realize that the stance of her hips has changed, that the pace of her stride has shifted.
Andy is always in step with the rhythm of the world around her, even when she thinks she's entirely separate.
(Nile thinks she's getting better, starting to see, starting to realize all the ways she's connected.
Now that she's dying.)
Joe, unsurprisingly, tends to listen to classy music. Old jazz, older classics, instrumentals and orchestras that hold just as much emotion between their notes as the poetry and art he clearly also appreciates.
Nicky plays disco on blast when it's his turn to cook and for a while Nile's not sure if he actually likes it, or if it's just because it makes Joe laugh to hear it, the sound half-despair and half-delight.
She thinks he likes it, Nicky doesn't indulge in things that don't serve a purpose, or bring Joe comfort, but that laugh would probably be enough for him. It's almost enough for her, makes her smile every time.
(She knows he likes it, the afternoon they're stuck in a small hotel in the middle of nowhere, rain pouring down, loud on the roof and windows, and they curl up on one of the double beds and watch Mamma Mia! and Nicky sings along to every damn word. Joe sighs, but he puts down his book and joins them, laughing when he stumbles over the lyrics and Nicky grins at him. Even Andy smiles, her head resting on Joe's shoulder, her eyes blinking slowly near the end of the movie. Nile thinks she doesn't even have any nightmares that night.)
Nile finds herself wondering what sort of music Booker likes, what he used to listen to, what he listens to now, if it soothes him in his exile, or if he finds things to help him wallow in his misery.
She fears it's the latter, sad white-boy emo shit, but she hopes...
She hopes he's healing.
Like Andy is, slow but sure, at last.
She has to hope, for Joe, for Nicky, for Andy. (For herself, and the future that stretches so far before her.) She has to hope—for Booker himself. She remembers how he made Andy laugh in the mine, when Nile had barely ever seen her smile, and she wants to meet that Booker, the one from before and around all the despair and grief, the one who wasn't entirely lost, not yet.
Maybe she will, some day.
She has a lot of days to make it happen.
She doesn't have to worry about the how, not yet.
A hundred years...
Until the night she dreams of him, and she realizes it's going to be a lot less than that.
At first she thinks it's just another nightmare; she has her share of them, even as young as she is in comparison to her new friends, new family. Booker's shoulders are hunched, she can see that tension in his face she'd hoped he'd finally let go...
Only she isn't seeing the Booker she knows, not really, she's seeing him how someone else does, more rage and less regret.
She sees her own hands, not her hands, familiar hands, smooth and soft looking instead of bloody, the air, there's air, warm against her skin.
There's music playing, spilling out an open window, some old lesser-known Spice Girls song Nile can't quite remember the title of, the familiar lilt of that cheeky sense of humor that made them so popular for so long.
She hates it, hates where they came from, hates how blind and selfish they are, how stupid, how little they know about what the world is really like...
Nile wakes, a gasp and a jerk that's familiar, and entirely different than ever before.
She blinks in the darkness, ignores the familiar shift of Andy walking around in the other room, following the path of the fairy lights they'd run along the ceiling and windows, pretending she doesn't know that Nile is having nightmares again.
Nile blinks again.
Quynh hates British pop.
Quynh is free...
Quynh is free and isn't trying to come home, isn't trying to find Andy.
(She might not have been drowning, not anymore, but Nile could still feel it in her thoughts, could still feel the weight of the water, the cold of the iron, the pain and the blood and the endless endless screaming...)
Nile closes her eyes, and considers, for just a moment, not saying anything.
Maybe not ever.
Maybe just not until after Christmas? Not that the holiday means much to the rest of them, but they're going through the motions for Nile, helping her adjust to her new world with this tradition lingering from her old one...
But no.
That way lies madness. The same sort that took out Booker, that may be doing the same to Quynh.
Nile lies back down, blinks at the faint glow of warm white between the top of her door and the edge of the frame; the light from the decorations she'd put up. She could let Joe and Nicky sleep for a little longer, at least, let Andy have one last quiet night.
She'll tell them over breakfast, and then they'll decide what to do next, to rescue their friend, their family, the woman they'd never forgotten, not in five-hundred years.
They'll save her, Nile is sure of it.
Together.
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thiswasinevitableid · 4 years
Text
Treasure (Indruck)
Prompt for the 9th was: Knight Terrors
Knights are generally well-prepared, the way those in charge of the kingdom's wellbeing ought to be. Prepared for monsters bursting from the woods or dropping from the sky, prepared to protect citizens from harm, prepared to guide royalty through all manner of perils. 
What Duck Newton, knight of the realm of Kepler, was not prepared for was being carried off by a fucking dragon.
He didn’t even know there were dragons in this part of the world.
Worse the dragon doesn’t seem to know his haul contained an unwilling extra item, and so he’s dumped Duck into some sort of sorting room, rather than a central horde or other spot where he might be able to see the cave entrance and get out. 
Beacon is somewhere in this mess, but he’s coiled and so can't talk. It figures, the one time that obnoxious sword’s even more obnoxious voice would be helpful is the time Duck remembered to silence him. 
He’s never been do freaked out in his life. Fuck, he can’t even tell where the door is. 
That problem is resolved and immediately replaced with a much worse one when a stone panel swings open and a large, black-scaled dragon appears.
“Huh. I was half convinced there was something wrong with my foresight, But no, there is indeed a human in my storage room. How on earth did you even get here?” He takes in Ducks clothes, the insignia on his chest, his armor. Red eyes narrow, “did you follow me, oh brave knight, hoping to slay me in my sleep?”
“No, I was in the goddamn carriage when you just lifted the whole fuckin thing up and flew off.”
“And what were you doing in a carriage meant for treasure alone?” The dragon cocks his head. 
“Guardin’ it.”
“And what, exactly, were you to do to an attacker?” The dragon drops to all fours, thoroughly blocking the exit.
“Uhhhhhhh, um, to, uh, to not, fuck, to do not slayin? Fuck. Look,their directions weren’t real clear. They just told me I was headed for a royal guest.”
The glowing red eyes widen with understanding Duck does not share. “So that’s what they told you? A pity” The dragon steps closer, and Duck refuses to flinch when hot breath ruffles his hair, “I was hoping they had been truthful with mine.”
“With your what?” Duck looks down just as a black clawed hand is held out to him.
“I will explain in a moment. This is one of the colder parts of my lair, and I would rather have this discussion somewhere warm. Come.” He flattens his palm and Duck, energized by the thought of being somewhere with more escape routes or weapons, sits down in it. The dragon carries him out; it’s smaller than he assumed, maybe twenty feet at most from his head to the tip of his tail. But it’s terrifically strong, given that it picked up the carriage he was in as if it weighed no more than a sugar cube. 
“What is your name?” One eye regards him with a glint of...something. It looks pleased whenever it scans over his body. 
“Sir Duck Newton. It’s a nickname.”
“It is nice to meet you, Duck Newton. I am Indrid Cold.” His voice is remarkably lilting, not at all the deep rumble Duck expected.
“This is the parlor.” The dragon sets him down near an immense fireplace, embers glowing warmly nd reclines against a large pile of furs and pillows, “my room and horde is just through there. You may see it later, if you like, I am rather proud of it. 
“Uh, no thanks, I’ll need to be headin back to take my licks for losin the thing I was guardin.” His hope is that if he acts as if the dragon has no reason to keep him around, it will just let him go.
“Ah yes, about that.” He taps a  claw on the stone floor, “you see, this is terribly awkward. That carriage was meant for me. As were you. I knew you would be arriving soon, but not when, and I was preoccupied using my visions to watch for danger, and thus did not realize you were in it until after we returned.” 
“Why do you keep sayin that I’m yours, what do you need a human for? Oh fuck, am I fuckin dinner or something?” 
“Nono, nothing of the kind. In many ways you are the opposite. You see, it has long been a tradition for kingdoms along the Draco Mountain Range to send a knight to act as an assistant to each dragon. When there were more dragonborns and fewer standard dragons, there was another, ah component as well.”
“But you ain’t a dragonborn, so we don’t gotta worry about that second part?” He crosses his fingers in hope.
A sigh, “Technically I am dragonborn; long story painfully short, I was blamed for something I did not do and was cursed to remain like this for eternity. But no one outside of a few trusted friends knows that. So your kingdom assumed I could still take my more human form. Which means they chose you for the, ah, the second purpose as well as the first. You are meant to be my consort.”
It takes a moment for the words to sink in, and then Duck is standing, looking for something to put between himself and the dragon, “nope, nope, no fuckin way, this ain’t happen, this can’t be happenin.”
“Oh dear, you are frightened.” The dragon furrows his brow
“I’m fucking terrified! Who wouldn’t be?!”
Indrid starts to move towards him and then thinks better of it, “I promise, you have nothing to fear. Is it not clear that the arrangement means I will not eat or otherwise harm you?” Indrid blinks at him, seeming perplexed. 
“And the part where I’m supposed to be the start of some fuckin dragon harem or some shit is supposed to calm me down?” Duck’s voice echoes off the walls. 
“You did not let me finish my explanation. While that is the misconception your kingdom is under, I will under no circumstances expect you to fulfill it. Your duties here will be as if I was born this way, so you will primarily do small household tasks, assist with security, and aid me in things where having small hands is helpful.” Indrid is frustratingly calm, as if Duck is the one being ridiculous for being afraid of this whole situation and the implications of his initial explanation.
“Great, just fuckin great, so I’m your servant now.” Duck rubs his forehead, as if that might make this all stop.
“Nothing of the sort. You may do tasks, but I must do the same. We are sharing this home, so we must each participate in its maintenance. So no, you are not my servant. Although you are part of my horde.”
“I’m not a fuckin necklace or somethin you dipshit!”
“You are not an object, if that is what you fear, and I do not see you as one. I, ah, my horde is made up of that which I value or find pleasing. You can be both those things as a human. You are a treasure and I will treat you as one. I will bring you the finest silks, jewels, works of art, whatever your heart desires, for everything that is mine is now yours. Indeed, you may be that which I treasure most; just looking at you makes me happy, and I dearly wish to curl around you and keep you safe.”
Chills run along Duck’s skin, and he notices the embers have gone out, meaning the only light is the red glow of Indrid’s eyes, pinning Duck in place. Vibrations move cross the stone.
“Hold the fuck on, are you, uh, purrin from thinkin about takin care of me?”
Indrid blinks several times, shakes his head, “Yes, it seems I was. I, ah, I apologize for all I just said it, it sort of came up unbidden. I wonder if that is why they chose you, if someone knew that you would be the most appealing human I ever laid eyes on.”
Duck tries not to be flattered, tries to focus on figuring out what the fuck he’s supposed to do now, but it’s hard with the way Indrid is looking at him with affectionate curiosity.
“Look, Indrid, I don’t mean no offense, but this is all super fuckin weird and I just...I don’t fuckin understand why they sent me and not, I dunno, a princess? Ain’t that traditional?”
Indrid cocks his head, “Why would they send princesses? Most of them are trained to run the kingdom, and thus are rather important. Knights as far more expendable.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“You asked me for their reasoning. I did not say that I agree. Did no one ever suggest you might be trained for a specific role?”
He freezes, thinking back on ll the times he was encouraged to pursue knighthood for the sake of a supposed destiny. Then so much anger hits him at once he has to sit down on the cold floor, even as the dragon nudges a human sized chair his way. 
“That’s why they were so fuckin determined to get me to accept my destiny. Fuck, they made it seem like I was trainin’ to do somethin great, to protect people, and all the while they knew they were just gonna ship me off without warnin! ‘Oh, sorry Duck, you don’t get to have a life of your own, we gotta train you up so you can go be a fuckin dragon toy!”
“That was rather uncalled for.”
“Well what the fuck else am I gonna call it? You talk about dressin me up, sleepin with me, you seem to think I ain’t no more than something you get to look at it.”
“I think no such thing” the narrow tip of his tail thrashes, “I am trying to be hospitable. I have not had a human visit me for more than a few hours before, forgive me for a few missteps. And I am not the one who misled you about your destiny, so kindly direct that anger elsewhere.” The last few words come out in a growl. 
Duck’s so pissed he growls right back
“Fine. I’m gonna walk my ass back to Kepler and give ‘em all a piece of my mind.” He spins on his heel, only for Indrid to zip in front of him. 
“No, do not do that. It is considered a literal declaration of war.”
“......are you fuckin kiddin me?”
“No. Now please move away from the door.” Indrid tries to scoot him backwards with his tail. Duck slaps the scales, causing Indrid to yelp.
“You only did that in one future.”
“I can move my own damn self. And I plan on movin it somewhere I can get some privacy.”
Indrid points down the center most tunnel, “The third door on the right is yours.”
“That feels like a trap.”
“It is a study. Equipped for humans, including a bedroom and washroom”
Well, that’s better than sleeping on top of a dragon. 
He turns without another word, and as the room disappears from view he hears the slow slide of scales on stone, heading the other direction.
----------------------------------------------
Indrid reaches his bedroom and proceeds to clonk his head into the door.
There was no way around that confrontation. The moment Duck Newton asked for an explanation, there was no future where he was not upset by what Indrid told him. Indrid does not blame him at all, and he’s quite angry with whoever in Kepler misled him for so long. 
None of that changes how excited he was when he was informed he’d soon be getting a human companion. He has visitors and friends of all kinds, but he’s lived alone ever since the disaster that led to his transformation. He was so looking forward to having someone to talk with, to get to know, to be gentle and kind to, something a dragon his size is not given many chances to do. 
There’s a much smaller horde in the corner, full of items he thought a human might enjoy. Dragonborns still hold the custom of giving those they wish to charm (in platonic or romantic ways) finery as a show of goodwill. His eyes keep drifting back to the red cloak woven with gold and the green shirt made to accentuate muscles. Duck would no doubt look remarkable in them. 
But the human wants to be alone, wants nothing to do with Indrid. If Indrid is to make him feel at home here, he must abide by that desire. He sighs, curling around his horde. The way forward may become clear after some rest. 
Later that night, he sets several items of clothing,the finest he can find that are still simple, as Duck seems to prefer that style, next to a plate of fish from the nearby stream. He charred them on the hearth so they’d be warm, though this resulted in one being burnt to a crisp. 
He ate that one as penance for frightening the human. 
The next morning the plate is clean but the clothes are there. Indrid leaves them be until mid-morning and then replaces the plate with a bowl of blackberries and more fish. Since there are books in the study, he leaves the human tools for embroidery, in case that is a hobby he prefers. 
This process repeats for the next three days, with Duck never taking anything besides the food. 
On the fourth morning, Indrid leaves one of his favorite items he collected for the human; a kit with seedlings and a stone that mimics the sun, allowing one to grow the plants even in the dark of the cave.
When he comes back that afternoon, the space in front of Duck’s door is empty. This both pleases him and gives him an idea. He knocks on the door, then steps back, opting after a moment to go on all fours so as not to tower too much over the human. 
“Yeah?” The drawl sounds tired more than hostile.
“I was wondering if you would like to see the gardens. You, ah, that is, I can lead you to them and then leave you be, you do not need to be around me if you do not wish to.”
The door creaks open, and Duck peers out.
“How can you garden in a cave?”
“Let me show you?” 
The walk is silent and awkward, but when they arrive Duck’s entire face lights up. Indrid preens a bit, answers the question he sees coming. 
“I believe when the mountains formed, something caused this area to not come together. Hence the lack of a cave roof.”
“Are all these yours?” Duck kneels down, radiant in the sunlight, examining a pumpkin plant.
“Indeed. I grow some for medicine and spell purposes, and some for food. Larger plants tend to work best for food, in that I can harvest them more easily. which is why there are many squash and melons. But, you will notice there are many unplanted patches. If you wish to garden, I can procure whatever you need.”
Duck grins, “Hell yeah. Wonder if I could get a tree or two to take. I’ll have to study the soil and the sun a bit before I know what I need.” 
“Take as long as you desire. You can find your way back?”
The human turns fully to him, glances down at the dirt, “You can, uh, stay if you want. Wouldn't mind the company.”
Indrid dips his head, and settles into his favorite sunny spot, body curving around the bushes. 
“Y’know, you’re a real different shape from what I expected.”
“My friend Barclay once said I looked as if I was a noodle that sprouted legs and wings.”
Duck giggles, “Yeah, that’s about right.”
Indrid flicks his wings, “I will have you know I am a very dignified noodle.” 
Duck laughs harder at his prim tone, then his face turns serious, “Indrid I, uh, I wanna apologize for how I acted. I know you don’t mean no harm. It was just a lot to take in, and then realizin everyone had been lyin to me, rather than lettin me make a real choice about my destiny.”
“I understand, and I do not hold it against you. I want this to be a welcoming home for you, Duck. I have no intention of keeping you from other things you love or have trained for. And I foresee us being rather good friends and, hmm, I suppose collaborators is the right word. If you need more space, I will give it, but I would also like the chance for us to get better acquainted.”
Duck picks up a handful of earth, rubbing it between his fingers, and when he smiles this time it’s meant for Indrid, “Think I’d like that too.”
------------------------------------------
“Damn, this is real soft.” Duck rubs the sleeve of the deep blue bathrobe.
“Oh good, it is yours.” 
“You sure, it was in your pile-”
“-as I have said, my horde is yours to use.” The dragon smiles, goes back to sorting paintings. A summer storm has ruined their plans to sit by the river, Indrid fishing or sunning himself while Duck swam or went for a walk. So they’ve opted to pare down Indrid’s horde, finding things Duck wants or can use as well as things the dragon no longer likes or needs, Duck using his knowledge of Kepler to figure out where in town could benefit from a sudden influx of precious metal. 
“How about this? Wait, damn, though it was suspenders.” Duck grapples with the leather and silver straps. Indrid trills a laugh, only for his cheeks to turn golden.
“That is meant to be worn over a bare torso.”
“Oh, uh, did you used to wear it?”
“Oh no, I do not like the texture, but I know some humans who wore it beneath their clothes. Orcs also wear them in the summertime. My second cousin married into an orc family.” He adds when Duck raises an eyebrow. 
“While I must admit the idea of you in it as intended is...intriguing” Indrid holds out a claw, at the end of which dangles a pair of suspenders. 
“Thanks, ‘Drid.”  It’s a double thanks. The suspenders are nice, but Duck appreciates the dragon trying to reign in his enthusiasm for Duck’s looks. It’s not that he doesn’t like feeling attractive, but the idea of a royal dragonborn stuck in his dragon form feeling that way about his squishy, farm-born body is too much. Just...too much. But Indrid has, on Duck’s request, scaled back the comments about his attractiveness and him being Indrid’s treasure. The more he's done so, the easier it’s been for Duck to accept his attempts to fuss over him. 
The dragon is true to his offer to give Duck whatever he desires; the finest oils for his baths, soft linens on the bed, any food he wants (that first week, he walked into the kitchen to find the dragon trying valiantly to make a human sized french onion soup). While he cannot breathe fire, he does all manner of spells to make Duck’s life easier, and last week he even took Duck on a low flight over the forest.
What Duck is enjoying even more are the evenings stargazing with his back against Indrid’s side, the way they trade information about their respective corners of the natural world. He enjoys not eating his meals alone. 
(He’s been dressing nicer for dinner lately, wasn’t even aware he was doing it two nights ago, when Indrid arrived with jeweled dust on his wings and Duck spent several minutes trying to work out why the dragon felt he had to dress up). 
There’s a wistful sigh, and he turns to find Indrid perched on a cushion (in truth, the dragon's nest is far more pillows, fabric, and cushions than it is gold or gems), holding a framed drawing in his hands. 
“I do so miss drawing. To do it in this form is such a rigmarole, I have not done more than  rudimentary sketch in a long time.”
“There ain’t a spell for it?” Duck climbs to where sitting puts him eye to eye with Indrid. 
“None that can replicate the feeling of being so consumed by creativity, the tactile sensations and the working and reworking until you have something you are proud of.” He looks at Duck, eyes, and voice far away, “so many things I would do, were my hands not immense and clawed.”
“Bet you’re real clever with ‘em.”
The double meaning only registers when the gold blush once again blooms on Indrid’s cheeks. 
“I, uh, I’m gonna run that one sack of stuff over to Aubrey and Dani. You want to wait on dinner until I get back?”
Indrid smiles, “Yes, I can wait.”
-------------------------------
 Fall comes early this high in the mountains, and with it comes the chill. Duck wakes up shivering, and none of the blankets are enough to chase the cold from his bones. Maybe Indrid has something he can use. 
He only means to be in the room an instant, but as soon as he enters warmth floods him. Indrid explained he ran warm, as all dragons do, but got cold easily. In the summer, the heat radiating from him disappeared beneath the warmth in the air. Now it’s noticeable in the cold cave. Noticeable and tempting. 
He offered once to curl around Duck as he slept, which--to his goosebumped skin--sounds like a good plan.
No, he’ll just find more blankets somewhere else. 
His heel knocks over something that clanks, and Indrid opens an eye.
“Duck? Is everything alright?”
“Uh, yeah, just got colder than I thought. I was, uh, was wonderin…”
Even in the near-darkness, Indird’s scales glint, and his eyes glow gently as he waits for Duck to finish. 
“...I was wondering if I could, uh, take you up on that offer to sleep next to you. I’m thinkin on top might be safest. I mean, uh, if that's still alright?”
Indrid holds out his hand, helping Duck onto his back and handing him a pillow and three blankets.
“Are you comfortable?” The dragon nestles back down into his bed.
“Yeah, this is real nice. Thanks, Drid.”
“You are welcome, Duck.”
Duck has kissed before, has fucked plenty, has lain in bed next to someone. Yet the rise and fall of Indrid beneath him, the steady sound of his heart when Duck lays his head down, the soft purr that leaves him when Duck rubs his cheek on his scales, are unfamiliar in their intimacy and thus twice as captivating. 
Which is why, when he awakens, their absence is instantly obvious. As is their replacement with a much smaller chest beneath his head. 
“Well, I must say this is a surprise”
It’s Indrid’s voice, and when Duck sits up, startled, it’s somehow unmistakably Indrid’s face staring up at him. The ruby eyes are the same, as is the smile and the color of his horns and the scales peeking out in patches on his skin. 
“My mother was only half dragonborn.” He says to the question Duck almost asks.
“Fuckin stunnin.” Duck breathes out. 
Indrid reaches up, cupping Duck’s cheek with a slender, slightly scaled but very human hand. 
“I fear it will not last. My foresight tells me I will revert to my dragon form in a few moments. But this is a singularly interesting development.”
“No kiddin. Guess we know there is way to get you back.”
“Agreed. Ah, before I revert, will you permit to do something?”
“Anythin.”
Indrid sits up, and places a gentle, cool kiss on Duck’s cheek.
“Oh yes” He sighs, resting their foreheads together as his body begins shimmering “just as lovely as I thought.”
And then Duck is once again atop a large dragon. 
“Whelp, no we really gotta break the curse.”
“Oh?”
“Because I wanna kiss you back, properly. And soon.”
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braincoins · 4 years
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for DA Shallura
I’ve been doing a series of posts about basic Dragon Age canon for my DA fic series, Dragon Age: Schism. HOWEVER, my Dragon Age AU for Shallura has slightly different background (it takes place before DA:O, and thus before any of DA:S) and I include headcanons and whatnot for DA:S in those info posts. 
So I thought I’d make One post with all the info that @tybalt-tisk​ or anyone else could need to make sense of what’s going on in that fic specifically. Some of this will be copy-pasted from what I’ve already done for DA:S because c’mon why write it twice? But everything here should give the necessary bgd for that fic. If you want/need to ask me other questions, feel free!
With credit, as always, to @yslanam​ who started this by first suggesting a DA AU for Shallura. And if you make it to the end, there’s pretty Mitz art! (Or you could skip to it, I know, but... be good, hm?)
Our story takes place in the country of Ferelden on the continent Thedas. Ferelden is basically Fantasy England (though not an island and not shaped that way), and is about the same size and climate (though it’s south of the equator, not north of it).
Shiro was born Takashi Shirogane in a small village where everyone knew everyone else and he liked it there. Loved it there, really. He signed on to be in his bann’s (the noble who ruled the land and its village) army, as did another young man from his town (whose name Shiro rarely speaks now). They served honorably and well and fell in love. 
And then they were called to battle. Shiro survived: plus a scar and some new white hair, but minus his right arm, which was too badly injured and had to be amputated. Shiro’s lover didn’t make it, though. Shiro was discharged with pay and a small bonus, but that money would run out eventually. He’s not sure what to do with himself, and he overhears people talking about what a shame it is, such a young man now destined to just wither away because, well, he’s basically worthless now. Can’t work a farm, can’t fight in wars. It hits him hard. He wants to prove himself worthy of... of something, anything, just to prove them wrong.
That’s what brings him to the Grey Wardens. 
Allura is a city elf. Elves are second-class citizens - at best - amongst humans, and the city elves live in ghettos called “alienages.” Her father was the Elder of the Highever (a city in Ferelden) Alienage: the man in charge, basically. That didn’t mean Allura behaved though; even as a child, she would rant about how elves were people just like humans and they deserved better treatment. This didn’t win her a lot of friends; most city elves learn quick that yelling about the truth just draws a whole lot of unwelcome - and often armed - attention.
But then it was discovered that Allura had magic, and she was taken off to the Tower of the Circle of Magi to be trained... and supervised. If there’s anything worse than being an elf in Ferelden, it’s being a mage. Mages, if they aren’t careful, can basically be possessed by demons and then they kill a bunch of people and it’s a bad scene. Therefore most people fear mages, and the Chantry - the main religious organization on the continent and damn near the only one in Ferelden - has created Templars to watch over the mages of the Circle. 
The Templars are also known as “mage-hunters” because that’s one of their main duties: running down mages who try to flee their gilded cage. They also kill any mage suspected of being demon-possessed. And they’re posted all throughout the Tower, watching... always watching...
Allura liked learning magic but hated that this is how it’s done. She’s just been moved from one cage to another, and she wasn’t silent about that either. Things came to a head after she became an official mage; she saw a Templar about to force himself on a fellow mage, who was terrified of the man. She got angry and killed the man, straight out. She should have been killed, made Tranquil (basically magical lobotomy) or sent to Aeonar, the mage prison, but Duncan, the Warden-Commander, was there visiting and recruited her away, instead. 
That’s what brings her to the Grey Wardens.
And that’s where she meets Shiro.
So, really now, what is a Grey Warden? Well, that depends on who you ask. To most people outside the order, the Grey Wardens are a glorious order of noble heroes! And why is that? Well, they’re immune to the darkspawn taint (which usually kills people) and so they can safely slay darkspawn! They’re also the only ones who can stop Blights!! …though this last bit of information is often forgotten, given that Blights happen once every few centuries.
If you ask me, the Grey Wardens are the biggest dick move in Thedas, which is actually part of why I love them. Here’s all the downsides to joining this “glorious order”:
First of all, the Right of Conscription. Ferelden has it; not sure if other nations in Thedas do? Anyway, it means that Grey Wardens can recruit anyone at any time. In practice, they have to be careful how they wield this tool (especially in Ferelden), but the RoC has been used to save people from hangings or other deadly fates… on the condition that they become a Warden Recruit. So… didn’t want to be Warden Recruit? TOO BAD, YOU ARE NOW. And no, you don’t get a say in the RoC. (Allura was RoC’d, to keep the commander of the Templars from killing her.)
Second of all, there’s the Joining. It turns out that, in order to become a Grey Warden, you have to drink darkspawn blood. And a bunch of other stuff in there, but really now, DRINKING DARKSPAWN BLOOD. You might recognize this as a stupidly dangerous thing to do, given that darkspawn blood KILLS THINGS. But your options are drink it or die, because the Grey Wardens present at the Joining will kill you if you try to back out after learning about this. If you drink from the Joining chalice, you also might die, but your name will be remembered as a Grey Warden at least? Even though you’re dead. And hey, if you live, you… become “immune” to the darkspawn taint, which is to say you’re already fucking tainted so it’s not like it can get worse. Want to know why the Grey Wardens don’t tell people they’re gonna make them drink darkspawn blood? Well, if they did that, people wouldn’t want to join, and we need Grey Wardens.
Supposing you survive the Joining, there’s the shortened lifespan (10-30 years depending on your sources) and the nightmares (that maybe you can learn to tune out). Again, they don’t tell you this until afterwards. Why? Because then people might not want to become Grey Wardens… yadda yadda. (Shiro might not speak Adam’s name anymore but he sure does yell it some nights, jolting out of a night terror and back to reality.)
Oh, and forget about having kids! It’s very difficult if not impossible to have children as a Grey Warden! (Not like they let mages have kids in the Circle. And Shiro’d been in love with a man, so he was okay with not having biological children anyway.)
At some point, even if you were able to tune the nightmares out, they’ll come back and there’ll be nothing you can do about it. That’s the first sign of The Calling. Because it turns out that the Joining is really just turning you into a ghoul, except very, very slowly. You’re getting close to Ghoul-dom now. Most Grey Wardens choose to die in battle against the darkspawn rather than waiting to be turned. It’s tradition.
And if there’s a Blight going on? Oh, well, it turns out that the only way to kill an Archdemon is to sacrifice a Grey Warden. Why didn’t they tell you? DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO ASK NOW?!
The motto of the Grey Wardens is “In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice.”
So what I’m saying is that Grey Wardens are SUPER TRAGIC BADASSES. They also wind up pretty cut off from their former lives, so the Wardens become their family. So, basically, SUPER TRAGIC BADASS FOUND FAMILY. 
Shiro and Allura get close because it turns out they work well together as a fighting pair: he as a warrior, she as a mage. Even with only one arm, Shiro can at least protect Allura as she takes shit out. They’re quickly a unit, just the two of them, always sent out together. It’s no wonder it starts to blossom into love.
But Allura sees that Shiro wants to do more than just protect and shield bash, so she starts trying to figure out how to make him a prosthetic: one worthy of a Grey Warden. One... worthy of him. 
There are different schools of magic: Creation is the healing branch, and it seems natural to try to work with that some, but in the end, Allura has to also dip into a forbidden school: Blood Magic. Blood Magic has the reputation of being evil because you’re using people’s blood - people’s life forces - to power your spells. After growing up in the Tower, she’s understandably nervous about using it.
But she talks about it with Shiro, and although he might otherwise be scared of Blood Magic, she tells him she doesn’t need a lot of it, it won’t kill him, and... well, it’s her. He trusts her. And she works hard to be worthy of that trust, she goes over this spell she’s created several times. It should work to attach the arm - made of silverite, a very powerful and durable metal - to him so he can use it.
She just forgot about the darkspawn taint coursing through him. His blood is not normal. And there are some... side effects from messing with it.
I do recommend reading this post (it’s kinda 1/2 meta, 1/2 fic) but if you don’t want to, the short version is that Shiro has trouble controlling his arm at first and so he pushes Allura away because he’s afraid of hurting her. She takes that as a well-deserved rebuke because she did this to him. 
Eventually they scream it all out at each other: he loves her, he was afraid for her, she feels guilty and is so afraid he’ll leave her, etc. They settle down and start working together on figuring out how Shiro can better control this thing. At the beginning of this fic, he’s gotten the hang of it now.
I’ll put up pictures of their uniforms when I can, and other than that, you should be good to go! I know this was long, sorry. Here, have some pretty @mitzoco​ art:
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mythicamagic · 5 years
Text
Young Love - Oneshot crossover
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Zutara & Sesskag
Summary: Deciding he needs to do something about his long time crush on Katara, Zuko enlists the help of self-proclaimed relationship expert and matchmaker, Kagome. With the help of her bodyguard, the busybody will stop at nothing to ensure the couple's success. AU, highschool. Tropes! Why have one otp when you can have two?
AN: This is a writing commission for the lovely @prationality​ ^^ Highschool AU has demons integrated into it. Yes it makes no sense. Just suspend your disbelief, buds.
Young Love
For the better part of a year it had been a thorn in his side. The niggling, aching, irritating feeling of complete and utter warmth flooding his chest whenever a certain person entered the room.
Zuko trudged moodily through the hallway, gaze fixed ahead. He needed to do something about Katara. Having a crush on one of your best friends was not ideal, and worse still, he couldn't talk to anyone about it.
Sokka was out. He would either immediately tattle to his sister or get protective. Aang was possibly the worst one to ask, as he'd harboured puppy love for her since kindergarten, though Katara remained willfully ignorant. Suki would tell Sokka. Toph had been a serious candidate as a confidant but he'd decided against it when she'd blabbed last week about his secret tradition of watching Love Amongst the Dragons every year at the theatre.
He'd never be able to live that down.
I could tell Uncle, Zuko briefly thought, soon shaking that idea away. He'd rather not have a lengthy anecdote about turtle ducks swimming in the pond of unrequited love.
This left confiding in an outsider. However, he couldn't tell just anyone or it would become the gossip of the whole school.
Knocking on a classroom door, he waited.
"Come in!" Came a hearty chirp.
Wincing, Zuko pushed the door open and stepped inside, closing it behind him. The empty pottery classroom felt perfect for a secret meeting since the department had suffered cutbacks. Including the teacher. And the pottery classes themselves.
A young woman leaned against a desk, dark hair cascading around her shoulders. Glittering blue eyes danced with mild amusement, causing Zuko to become instantly wary. Maybe this had been a mistake.
"Glad you could make it!" Kagome Higurashi grinned, gesturing to a seat. "Come sit down, silly. I don't bite."
Stuffing his hands deep into his pockets, Zuko leaned against a desk as well. "I'll stand, thanks."
She let out a huff, shrugging and relenting. "So, let's cut to the chase; as you know, I'm the best matchmaker in this school."
Zuko was pretty sure she was the only matchmaker in the school.
"Anything you say will be kept totally confidential. I can't guarantee you'll get the partner you want but my track record speaks for itself," Kagome beamed.
"I'm going to stop you right there," Zuko sighed. "I don't...want to trick her into anything. I just-"
"It wouldn't be tricking," she looked affronted. "You seriously think Kouga and Ayame or Sokka and Suki would last if the foundation of their relationships had been built on lies? No, no. I'm just going to help you put your best foot forward."
Dragging a hand down the scarred side of his face, the teen grunted. "Maybe I just want to talk about it."
Kagome blinked, spreading her arms wide. "Well go ahead. No one's stopping you, Zuko."
Gritting his teeth and fighting the urge to sigh again, his lips pressed into a thin line, suddenly reluctant.
Tilting her head, the busybody took him by surprise. "This is about Katara, isn't it?"
He jolted violently. "H-how did you know?" He croaked. Shit. Did Katara know? Was it that obvious?
Kagome smiled while flipping dark hair dramatically over one shoulder, idly brushing down her green skirt. "Hey give me a little credit. I did say I was pretty good at this gig."
A quiet noise, like a snort, sounded out behind Zuko to his left. He turned sharply, startled to find another student leaning against the wall. If Zuko remembered right, the imposing young man was an upperclassman. "The hell- I thought we were alone."
"Don't mind Sesshoumaru. I hired him a long while ago to watch over these types of meetings," Kagome waved it off. "I've had clients get pissy before."
Sesshoumaru stared at him, unblinking. Pale white hair was tied back into a low pony tail, features fairly delicate and regal, clashing with the heavy energy rolling off him in waves.
Zuko felt a shiver run down his spine and faced forward. If she needed a demon bodyguard of such high calibre within a school with relatively low level onis, he wondered what kind of clients she'd dealt with in the past.
"So, Katara?" The matchmaker prompted.
"Yeah well...I like her," he said lamely. "I mean I...she's…"
The young woman peered at him curiously, causing Zuko to grit his teeth. "I don't know! Gn...maybe this was a mistake."
Kagome pushed off the desk to approach and gently touched his arm. Her expression no longer looked amused or playful, now very earnest. "Hey, it's okay. These kinds of feelings can be really complicated, especially when they're for a friend. It makes you worry that you'll cause a fissure in your friendship group."
Golden brown eyes widened a touch, throat becoming dry with mild fear. He could only nod mutely. Perhaps she did have somewhat of a talent for reading people.
She gave a smile, "look I completely understand if you want to keep your silence around her and just vent to me. That's fine, buddy. But I really, really think you should go for it and let me help you guys get together."
"Aang and Sokka-"
"Don't rule Katara's love life," Kagome cut in, voice firm. "Besides, if she does go out with you, Sokka will probably just give the protective brother speech and threaten to harvest your organs if you hurt his sister-"
"That's fair, I'd deserve it if I hurt her," Zuko mumbled soberly.
Kagome winced and patted his shoulder. "As for Aang, he'll come around. From what I've seen he might get upset but Toph will straighten him out. What do you say?"
The moody teenager stared down at his calloused hands. Exhaling hard through his nostrils, Zuko clenched his jaw. "Do you think I have a good shot?" He grumbled, glancing at her.
Kagome grinned, nodding enthusiastically. "With me by your side, you've got the best shot."
---
Overlooking the martial arts group as a type of mole for Kagome felt incredibly easy, considering Sesshoumaru was well versed in many of them.
At the moment, Katara stood a little ways away on a tatami mat, practising her Tai Chi form. He'd never had much cause to speak with the girl beyond small talk. Still, Kagome had nudged at him to try and glean more of her personality.
Walking over and stretching his arms, Sesshoumaru grunted. "Your right heel kick should be higher."
Her gaze flattened, becoming defensive. "Did that old goat Pakku tell you to say that?"
"No, this one is telling you."
Katara hummed, going back a form and trying again, kicking higher so that her leg pointed out straight. Sesshoumaru nodded, chancing more conversation. "You are a female."
"Astute observation. Where are you going with this?" She raised a brow, smoothly moving her body into another form.
"This one seeks advice. Be grateful you are the one I have chosen for council."
Katara released a long breath, straightening out of her form and minding her long braid aside. "Arrogance isn't a good method if you're wanting my help but go ahead. I'm used to the tough guy act from pre-Suki Sokka."
Sesshoumaru did not need her permission but spoke. "How does one secure the attentions of a human female?"
"Are you asking me dating advice?"
"Hn."
Katara eyed the demon, raising her arms and turning on one heel to move into another stance. "I can't speak for most girls because my family has its own traditions to follow, but a necklace wouldn't hurt."
"A necklace?"
She nodded, holding her posture. "Something personal, though. I'm sure you demons have traditions to follow too, don't you? Maybe include one."
Sesshoumaru mulled this over, inclining his head, expression wiped of emotion as per usual. Kagome didn't need to know what exactly he'd asked Katara, that was his business. "Hn, you were mildly useful."
Huffing, she kicked her left foot up near his enigmatic face. "You're welcome. Was that form good enough?"
"You wobbled on your right heel. Again."
Katara grumbled under her breath.
---
Sitting quite contentedly in a cafe a few days later, Sesshoumaru sipped some tea. The atmosphere around him lulled into contentment. Despite the hustle and bustle of the patrons, he didn't feel particularly uncomfortable or annoyed. This sense of peace was abruptly broken as the scent of citrus and summer brushed into his nose.
"Hi!"
Kagome set her bags down in the opposite seat, sliding into the booth beside him and accidentally bumping his shoulder. The tea sloshed in his cup. "Okay, so their class had a project to complete and were separated into partners. Katara was originally paired with Haru, but!" She grinned, holding up a finger. "I pulled some strings and managed to switch him with Zuko. Isn't that perfect?"
Sesshoumaru blinked slowly. "How is it perfect?" He uttered, though she'd tell him anyway even if he didn't ask.
"Well this way, they get to spend quality time together totally alone!" Kagome gushed, opening a menu. "They'll be here any second. I reserved a booth for them just over there. You picked the perfect spot for spying."
"I did not know you would be here," he said flatly.
Tugging up her bag and rifling through it, Kagome produced a wig. Tying her hair back, she put a hairnet on, smoothing the blonde wig atop her head. Sesshoumaru felt used to her antics by now, watching while she took out a headset with a microphone and earpiece.
Kagome remained immensely serious about her unofficial job. Near everyone knew who she was in school, therefore a disguise became necessary when snooping. If Katara noticed her, she'd get suspicious about her presence.
"Is it still alright for me to babysit Rin later?" She asked casually.
He hummed, sipping the cooling tea. That was their exchange. Sesshoumaru remained a bodyguard of sorts while Kagome repaid him for his time by looking after his adopted sister when he needed to work after school.
They'd entered into their strange agreement six months ago. He could still hear the raised voices coming from the classroom. The abrupt slam of a desk hitting a wall and scent of salt in the air. How Kagome's wide, terrified eyes swung to him once he entered the room, her struggling form pinned beneath an incensed human student. An unhappy customer who hadn't taken too kindly to her failure.
In contrast to this grim memory, Kagome happily fussed with her equipment, stilling when a pale hand reached out to touch a dark strand of hair that escaped her wig. Lithe fingers tucked it back into hiding, sharp nails lightly skimming her cheek.
Kagome glanced up at him, blushing slightly. "Uh...thanks," she murmured.
Sesshoumaru stared, voice a soft rumble. "Hn."
Noticing something out of the corner of her eye, she gasped and shook his shoulder. "They're here!"
---
Sitting down across from Katara, Zuko took a breath, glancing around. It didn't take long to locate Sesshoumaru. Next to him sat a smaller blonde woman who gave a cheerful thumbs up. Zuko's gaze flattened. This was going to be a disaster, he could tell.
"Are you alright? You seem troubled about something."
Zuko jumped, looking at Katara as she set up her laptop and took out a binder. She was incredibly organised already despite the project just starting. It was just a little thing, but he liked it about her. She'd even arranged the papers by subject matter alphabetically.
"I'm fine," he said in a dusty voice.
Katara frowned slightly, the waitress interrupting them to ask what drinks they wanted to order.
Swallowing stifling nerves, Zuko did what he always did and ploughed on through uncertainty. Opening the envelope Kagome had given him, he slipped the earpiece in while Katara was mulling over the orders.
"Hey~ can you hear me?" Came Kagome's amiable voice. "Just nod if yes."
Zuko nodded. Katara ordered a Darjeeling tea, while he stiffly asked for a coffee.
"Okay, just talk about the project with her for now."
Katara was already a few steps ahead, talking while the waitress left. "I think we should start with the community centre."
"Huh?"
She tilted her head, hair loopies brushing the sides of her face, brunette hair falling in waves down her back.
Zuko's throat became dry, clasping shaking hands and resting them on the table. "Right. The project. Yeah, the community centre could definitely use some improvements."
Blue eyes blinked, the light from the window beside them bathing her dark skin in a soft glow. "How do you know that?"
An automatic sneer graced his features, glaring hard at the napkins. "My father poured money into building it just to secure a business deal by looking like a humanitarian. However, the second he got what he wanted he pulled the funding for resources."
A gentle touch startled him out of that particular tangent.
Katara gave an encouraging smile, "that's fine. Because you know what?"
Her smile was infectious and he gave a reluctant one in return. "What?" He grumbled.
"We're going to get the funding for even better resources and more involved staff, all without his input. You're going to do that. And it'll be great, Zuko."
Zuko swallowed, skin pricking with the sensation of her hand on his. She knew. She knew everything about his history with his tyrant of a father. How he'd given up the position that would've allowed him to succeed his father. Now he lived in a humble apartment with his Uncle.
Ozai had been responsible for evicting a large portion of Katara's neighbourhood from their houses through some legal jargon many years ago. After some arguments and fights in school, the two old enemies now sat in amiable silence. She could look at him with such soft eyes. Her forgiveness had soothed so much hurt between them.
The waitress returned, breaking the spell between them. Letting out a heavy breath, Zuko stiffened when a young man stepped around the waitress to address his friend.
"You're miss Katara, correct?"
She straightened, raising a brow questioningly. "Yes. Can I help you?"
The young man produced a bouquet of radiant flowers from behind his back. Fire lilies. Katara's mouth promptly fell open, the orange flowers placed in her frozen hands.
"Looks as though you have an admirer," the stranger winked, turning away.
Katara rose from her seat slightly, blushing. "Wait! Who are these from?"
"No idea, miss," he said over his shoulder, glancing at Kagome and smiling slightly. She gave a quick wave, grinning as Miroku left.
Zuko remained frozen in place. Fire lilies were almost too obvious! They were a type of flower well known in the city as one his family had produced. Hell, they were part of the logo on their company. He winced a little, thinking they might cause offence-
"They're beautiful," Katara inhaled the scent, blushing slightly. "They smell kind of like cinnamon," she mused, glancing up. "Do you...know who they might be from?"
"No idea," he mumbled, hearing Kagome's groan through his earpiece.
"Damn it, Zuko. Wait for me to give you some guidance. You could've said something much smoother!"
He touched his ear and turned his head slightly into his collar. "I'm not smooth! She'd know I was being weird if I fed her a line!" He hissed.
"Are you talking to yourself?" Katara bit her lip, fighting a smile.
From across the room, Kagome hit her forehead. She could only afford so much tech and had given him an earpiece. She couldn't hear his ramblings personally, it was only because of Sesshoumaru's excellent hearing and relaying of information that she knew what was going on. Zuko was right, he wasn't smooth at all.
Flustered, Zuko turned back to Katara a little too quick- knocking over the coffee cup with his arm and making a noise when the contents spilt onto the table.
Katara gasped and scrambled to place the lilies down, lifting her laptop away. The spillage headed towards her pristine, organised notes that had been set out to discuss. Zuko yanked his red jacket off his shoulders and pressed it down onto the table. The material quickly soaked up the coffee greedily.
Katara stared.
Kagome gawked, grasping Sesshoumaru's arm and shaking it slightly. "Wow. I didn't think things would escalate so quickly! This is perfect."
"Hn."
Lifting his gaze awkwardly, Zuko met smiling blue eyes. "You didn't have to do that," Katara said quietly, minding the papers away. "Thanks, Zuko. Would take forever if I had to print those out all over again."
Ah, of course she'd have backup copies. Duh. "Y-yeah, no problem. What are friends for?"
The sound of a hand smacking a forehead graced his hearing once more through the earpiece. "Honey, you're trying to leave the friend zone, not dig deeper into it."
Zuko glared at nothing in particular.
"Try saying: I know how much your notes mean to you, and anything that's important to you is important to me too."
Sighing, he ran a hand through dark shaggy hair, parroting Kagome's words out loud.
The girl sitting across from him took hold of his jacket, looking thoughtful. "I can wash this for you," she mumbled, glancing up at him. "And about...us being friends. I uh…" she blushed slightly. "I was wondering if-"
"Are you Katara?"
They looked up with twin scowls on their faces. This time a group of young men stood around their table. Zuko's face coloured red the second they opened their mouths and started singing. Every head within the cafe turned to watch.
Belting out some romantic ballad that hurt their ears and made Zuko want to shrink in his seat, he watched as they serenaded Katara. She looked mortified.
From across the room, Kagome gave another thumbs up. Something within him snapped.
"FORGET IT!" He burst, getting to his feet and shimmying out of the booth to storm out of the cafe. Katara called out somewhere behind him but the sound of his heart pumped deafeningly loud and fast in his ears. He couldn't continue, he realised. Embarrassing Katara wasn't something he'd set out to do. She didn't deserve that.
Cool outside air fanning over flushed skin felt like a welcome respite compared with the confusion and unease within the cafe. He marched through the parking lot, hands balled into fists.
"Zuko-" he yanked the earpiece out and stuffed it in his pocket. And yet, the calling of his name continued.
His heel dragged, Zuko stopping with mild surprise when he noticed Katara jogging after him. She'd left her things behind, laptop included. Taking a breath, she brushed one of her hair loopies away from her eyes.
"What's going on with you?"
Air rushed out of his lungs. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Zuko let the words quietly escape. "I...hired Kagome Higurashi."
"The matchmaker?" Katara's brow furrowed. "Why would you need to-" it clicked, and she glanced back into the windows of the cafe where the fire lilies had been abandoned. "Oh. Were...those from you?" She said slowly.
Zuko stared hard at the cement beneath his feet as though willing the ground to swallow him up. "Sort of."
She huffed, drawing closer and planting her hands on her hips. "There's no 'sort of,' Zuko. Are you interested in me or not?"
His eyes widened and slid up. Katara looked obstinate for information and oddly unoffended. He'd half expected anger or immediate dismissal. But maybe...maybe he hadn't been giving her enough credit.
Squeezing calloused hands into fists, he nodded. "Yeah, I am."
Katara's eyes widened slightly and the shock slid her hands free from her hips.
He ran a hand through his hair for the umpteenth time, minding the bangs from his eyes. "I like you," he muttered. "I've liked you for a long time. It's just that I didn't say anything because I didn't want to be greedy. You don't have to like me back or anything. Just don't break up the group because of me, Katara. This doesn't have to make things awkward. You all… mean a lot to me, ever since you accepted me into your group. So I don't think… I could take not seeing you," the words kept coming until Katara stepped forward, touching his hand.
"You never think things through, do you?" She murmured.
Zuko bristled. "Are you making fun of me? I'm pouring my heart out here-"
Katara giggled and suddenly grabbed him close, hugging him tightly. Zuko froze, stiffening within her arms. His breath fanned over her ear, hands settling at the perfect height on her waist, drawing her closer and revelling in the feel of her. The sensation of fingers brushing through the hair at the nape of his neck felt heavenly. "You wouldn't be kicked out of the group no matter what happened between us. You're not buying time or there by accident. Everyone wants you with us. So cut that out. As for the other thing…"
She surprised him by tilting her chin up, blue eyes connecting with golden brown. Zuko stilled, gaze flitting over her face, before giving in to the impulse to press his lips to hers.
They yielded easier than anticipated. He inhaled her scent, traitorous hands sliding up to touch the fall of soft hair. It was then that his mind caught up with his actions and Zuko broke away from her. "Ah- sorry, that was stupid. I didn't think-"
Katara made a frustrated noise before pulling him down again, cupping his face in both hands. He wondered what the scar felt like to her. Katara kissed him again, turning his brain into mush by parting her mouth and sliding a wet tongue against his lips. He granted her access, making a slight groan in the back of his throat. When her thumb brushed his ear Zuko near melted in her hands, fingers curling tight in her clothes, the material straining.
She then broke away with treacle immediacy, face flushed. She boldly took his hand, smiling. "Let's get our stuff and go for a walk together," she seemed to decide for them, a sparkle in her gaze. "There's a lot to talk about."
Zuko opened his mouth, croaking out a few nonsensical noises, before nodding astutely. "Okay."
If someone ever asked them how they'd gotten together, he honestly had no idea what to say.
----
Kagome hadn't moved an inch after watching Zuko run off. In fact, she'd seemed quite pleased with herself instead of concerned. Sesshoumaru hadn't understood why until Zuko and Katara reentered the cafe with a contented air about them, their gazes finding each other every few moments. They grabbed their bags, the flowers and the ruined jacket, leaving together without a backwards glance.
Kagome stood and removed the wig and headset, putting them away.
"You knew," he uttered.
"Hm?"
"You planned for this to happen, did you not?"
Sliding her bag over one shoulder, she shrugged. "After reviewing their profiles, I understood that Zuko has a temper and could get overwhelmed. Katara has one too and is fiercely stubborn as an ox about looking after people. I just prodded him a little and knew she'd follow him if he lost his nerve. Then there'd likely be a culmination of feelings," she turned. "My work here is done. Thanks for sharing your booth with me, I'll leave you to it," Kagome smiled and waved, walking out of the cafe with a spring in her step.
Sesshoumaru set some money down and smoothly rose, following with a blur of colour.
"Kagome," he said quietly once the doors slid shut behind him.
She blinked and looked up at him as he joined her side in the parking lot.
"This one does not need a culmination of feelings to understand what emotion I experience around you."
"What's that, irritation?" She teased.
Sesshoumaru frowned and reached into his pocket, pulling out a necklace with fangs as the charms. "We should engage in courtship," he said gravely.
Kagome's eyes widened, gaze flitting from the grim necklace and then back to his face, searching as though trying to discern his sincerity. His lips thinned, until a small smile tugged at her mouth, morphing into a gentle one.
Taking the necklace, she blushed slightly. "Is it customary for dog demons to give a tooth necklace when you want to date someone?"
"Hn, those are mine."
"YOURS?"
"They will be most useful when it is time for us to have children."
"C-children!?" Kagome looked a little unsteady. "Sesshoumaru!"
"Hn," a hand slid around her waist. "Though I'd like to have you all to myself for many years first."
"I should hope so, buster! We're in high school and I didn't even say yes yet," she huffed.
He lifted a large hand, palm up. "Then I will take the necklace back-"
"No, it's mine, no take backsies!" Kagome held it away from his grasp, soon grinning and leaning up to kiss the underside of his jaw. Sesshoumaru stilled at the action, gaze flitting down to her. "I accept, silly," the young woman murmured, hand curling around his own. "Though you could've wooed me a little first. Have my clients taught you nothing?" She teased.
Sesshoumaru's lips curved, gaze becoming half-lidded. "We may go to a restaurant tomorrow evening if you wish."
"I do wish," she hummed, putting the necklace on and wincing a little at how weird it was. Still, they didn't exactly make a normal couple themselves. "Let's bring Rin, though. She hasn't been able to spend much time with you lately."
Sesshoumaru gathered her closer then, causing her heels to lift from the floor. A deep well of warmth and pride spread through his chest right down to his toes. The matchmaker was truly a perfect choice for a mate.
"Hn," Sesshoumaru rumbled, pressing smiling lips to hers.
End
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stonerbughead · 4 years
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Maria watches friday night lights (#36)
5x13, the series finale i have heard nothing but good things about - I made it y’all! *wipes tear* this is a show i will definitely rewatch! It definitely feels like the kind of show that’s so layered that every time you go back you’ll pick up something new. I love shows like that.
i haven’t been on tumblr on my computer in a long time but im gonna go through and add “read more”s to all of these recaps! 
(thanks to anyone who read these nonsense recaps! if you enjoyed these...in addition to my currently-on-hiatus riverdale podcast @bodysuitsforbughead, I have another teen drama-centered podcast in the works, follow @LeftyTeenDrama on Twitter and @leftistteendrama on Instagram to get updates when it launches! I’m taking a break on working on it till i move but it’s gonna be a big part of my 2021 projects. I’ve already recorded one episode with two of my favorite people in the world and it’s gonna be amazing. It will be about a variety of teen dramas, but FNL will definitely be included.)
and without further ado, my final FNL ramblings under the cut:
And we open with one last montage of shots around Dillon from a car, with a “Christmas in Texas” song playing. Amazing. 
Oh wow, I love the “FIVE DAYS TILL THE CHAMPIONSHIP” vibe. The build-up is already here. A shot of Julie in the stands watching practice! 
It’s super uncomfortable that people are talking to Vince about his “future teammates” on the Panthers before the post-season is even over.  “I don’t really wanan talk about that. I want to talk about how the East Dillon Lions are gonna win State.” “Is that a promise?” These Texas sports journalists are WILD. this is a teenage boy whose school’s funding just got cut right before the biggest game of his life! Can we have some sympathy?!
“I hear they’re taking the cream of the crop for the Superteam so I’m gonna be honest with you, what are you gonna do?” EXCUSE ME SIR? I repeat, TEENAGE BOY. Tinker’s response of “you’re an asshole” and storming away was more than appropriate!!!
“No comment”ing his way out of there like a champ.
Ah, the age-old tradition of decorating a Christmas tree while arguing about a five-year football coach contract in Dillon or a dean of admissions job offer at a prestigious Philadelphia college. Julie’s just sitting there with Gracie like ooooh boy 
“Here is where we put our tree, not Philadelphia! It’s a Texas tree.” OMG STOP IT. Lol Julie putting her hands over her ears.
YAY MATT SARACEN IS AT THE DOOOOORRRRR im so excited
Wow I did not expect this proposal to come that quickly into the episode! Like i knew it was coming in this episode but aw. They’re so soft! Just like, oh i’ve been thinking about you nonstop since our perfect Chicago tryst and oh look here’s grandma’s ring let me casually get down on one knee in the town where we fell in love. And after she was just talking about how much she misses Matt to Tyra the episode before? That “yes” she gave feels so certain because of it. Aw.
The grandma’s ring really fucks me up because you know how close Julie and Grandma Saracen have gotten over the years. My heart!
“Oh my God, your dad must’ve flipped.” “...What do you mean?” OH NO Eric Taylor is totally the type to care. “...When you asked him to marry me.” Oh I knew this proposal was too early in the episode, im dying!
“You need to go man to man.” Ugh Julie i liked Matt’s plan of just going and telling them much better. His look of fear when he repeats “man to man.” dead. 
Wow no theme song??? That’s how you know it’s gonna be a long series finale!
Andddd here we are, a bickering Riggins “I may or may not be going to Alaska.” “Is it because you raw dogged Tyra last night?” i literally gasped.
LMAO Mindy trying to say Tim and Tyra are incest now that Mindy and Billy are married and then Tim and Billy immediately being like “nope, no blood lines, that’s not how incest works.” Someone should send that memo to all those anti bughead stans about bughead and falice
“What do you think about me taking Stevie for the day?” “I’m fine with that. There’s no going back, I’m going to get the bag.” LOL Mindy spoken like a true parent also YES to Tim and Stevie spending time together.
Poor Jess not realizing that asking Eric if she can follow him to the Panthers is a much bigger question than she thinks se’s asking.
AWW Tim and Stevie at Grandma Collette’s. How cute. 
“Seven’s back in town?” “Yeah, he and Julie got engaged!” 
Tim/Tyra and Matt/Julie double date?? Aw I love that Tyra knows that Matt and Julie got engaged. I really love Tyra and Julie’s friendship. 
I’m laughing really hard at Matt’s speech to Eric trying to ask permission. This is so funny. 
Eric’s like, “is this kid serious rn?” 
Not to be that northern bitch but don’t kids get married at 18/19 all the fucking time in Texas?? I feel like it’s more common in even more rural parts of like...any state.
“The answer to your question is gonna be no today, it’s gonna be no tomorrow, and it’s gonna be no until the sun burns out.” LMAO wow i didn’t see this coming
“This was really just a courtesy, we were hoping for your blessing.” YES MATT.
OH BOY Eric did not just try to speak FOR his daughter, im not about it. “My daughter’s answer to you is ‘no.’” That’s some patriarchal shit right there.
“We’ll never know if we’re East Coast people if we don’t try it!” “We have a MUCH BIGGER problem.” Dude, it’s Matt Saracen, the softest boy who has loved your daughter for years, i actually think the fundamental decision of where you and Tami continue your future might be slightly more pressing. 
“I don’t know why you’re yelling at me! I think we agree on this!” IM SCREAMINGGGG 
Aw, Tami getting teary-eyed at Grandma Saracen’s ring. “It’s just, y’all are so young.” I know but this is a TV show universe so we let teen marriage slide for the right couples, ok. 
Tami and Eric wanna take Matt and Julie to A CONVERSATION DINNER??? This is gonna be so funny. 
Aw, Vince got his dad a ticket to state? “I want you to be there.” if this fucker doesn’t just come and shut his mouth
Oh wow Becky’s mom is finally coming back? And yay Becky’s finally over her Tim crush. “So friends?” “I say family.” AWWW MY HEART.
“You guys were our age when you got married.” ARE YOU SERIOUS? “It was a different time.” Y’all have no leg to stand on here.
“Marriage requires maturity.” Says the man who won’t let his wife take a huge job offer. What, who said that? (Okay the way Tami’s watching Eric give this speech about compromise, thinking she’s thinking the same thing.)
“You guys got married when you were my age, and how many times did you move? How many different things you’ve gone through and look how you’ve made it work. You guys are my inspiration.” AW. I wish my parents had a stable enough marriage to be able to say that LOL but nope.
OH NO poor Tami getting up from the table because she’s emotional! Because she’s clearly always thought of her marriage that way too but maybe not lately AH
Eric, babe, that’s your cue to follow. 
Oh shit, Jess’s family is moving to Dallas? Well, damn.
Eric saw Vince not take a ticket for his dad and came to his watering hole to hand deliver it? “Young man gets a chance like that maybe once in a lifetime.” and mic drop, walk away.
Luke casuaklly meeting Becky’s mom for the first time while coming by to try to win Becky back. “I love you. I’m so sorry.” AWWW. growth!
YES cheers to Matt and Julie! “Here’s to Mr. and Mrs. Saracen.”
“Always thought you’d be the first person to say that.” AW
Yes halfway through college, go Tyra!
Awwww, Matt being like “let’s dance” and pulling Julie up. So cute. Yes, Tim asking Tyra to dance. 
“I got plans.” “I don’t.” OMG is Tim saying he’ll just follow Tyra? Damn.
Why tf is Buddy calling Eric first thing in the morning to tell him about Buddy Jr.’s cast and “staying here el permanente” and GETTING HIM TO SIGN A CONTRACT BEFORE THE GAME? Y’all are shady as fuck!
I love that seeing the Braemore papers made him stop, tell Buddy off, and not make a decision in that moment. What’s gonna happen???
“I won’t be a part of your Superteam after all.” Hopefully Eric won’t be either! Aw Jess thanking him “for the greatest experience of his life.” “I think it’s been mine too.” AW.
Eric’s gonna give a coach in Dallas a good word for Jess? So beautiful. Yesss!
AW Julie and Matt decorating the Saracen Christmas tree, and Grandma trying to get Julie to wear her old wedding dress!
Emotional at this hug between Julie and Mrs. Saracen. “I love you.” “I love you too.���
Awww Vince finally being glad that Jess is part of the team...at the moment when it’s about to end.
Yess Tyra and Tim picnicking on the land? 
And YES to Tyra going into politics, I could see it! “Along the lines of Mrs. T. Except bigger.” YES GURL.
“I’ve been in love with you since I was five years old.” AWWW that is so precious. 
“I’m gonna build a house exactly where we’re sitting. I’m gonna get a job. And I’m never gonna do anything illegal for the rest of my life.” Oh, Tim. my heart!!!
“Maybe one day, our dreams can merge together.” THAT’S SO BEAUTIFUL. What more does one really want? Oh, these beautiful life-filled shots of them drinking beer on the land where Tim wants to build a house. Art!
Oh shit, Eric’s racing to get to Santa in time to be there with Tami and Gracie?! “You scared me half to death. What’s going on?” 
“I turned the contract down. It’s your turn. I want to go to Philadelphia. Will you take me to Philadelphia with you, please?” YESSSSSSSSSSSSS what they deserve! What Tami deserves!!!! My heart!!!!
Ugh, the imagery as they get to State is amazing. The boys taking in the field, the players suited up praying and getting in the zone beforehand. The screaming in the stands waiting for them.
“You may never know how proud I am of you.” “You changed my life, coach.” AW.
Eric’s pre-game prayer overlaying the image of the Lions bursting out onto the field! Yes yes yes!
The way they slowed everything down with just music, and focused in on the faces of so many characters - Vince’s dad showing up, Eric and Tami saluting one another from stand to sideline, Becky cheering in the stands excitedly for Luke, Matt and Julie holding each other, Buddy on the sidelines screaming, Vince’s mom jumping up and down - just absolute perfection. 
And we’re back in, with actual in-scene sound at 26-21 with 3 seconds left on the clock??? Jesus!
AH and every single character watching the football fly in the air, WOW the DRAMA.
Holy shit, they fast-forwarded to one of Eric’s players in Philly catching a football eight months later in Philly??? THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD. WOW.
Tami looks like such a badass strutting around campus!
YES Tinker is on the Panthers! Take that, bullying reporter! 
Aw, the East Dillon Lions sign coming down. :( feels.
Nooo Luke don’t go to the military! Noooo I hate that. Poor Becky. They’re the exact type of couple who gets caught up in that really sad cycle - too poor to really have many other options, so the whole “free college when i get out!” thing starts to look really attractive. smh.
But i love how they used the championship ring he gave Becky as a way to signal that the East Dillon Lions did, indeed, win the state championship eight months earlier...and that Jess is wearing the ring on the sidelines of a new field where she’s working with the coaches! amazing!
Yay Matt and Julie live in Matt’s beautiful Chicago apartment? Perfection. They really look so good in that city together. 
New beginnings in a new city together for both Tami and Eric AND Matt and Julie? I’m living! It’s what they deserve!
Tim and Billy building Tim’s house and drinking beers! “Texas forever.” “Texas forever.” MY HEART.
“Clear eyes, full hearts.” SILENCE. “Ah, we’ll deal with that later.” LOL
Yesss Tami coming out to meet Eric on the field!!!
“Ready to go home?” “Yeah, let’s go.”
And the lights go off on the field. End show. AMAZING. Truly, an epic series finale! An epic show! I will definitely rewatch and i am so glad i finally did! Thanks to anyone who gave a shit about my ramblings.
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themulberrytree · 4 years
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character sheet.
full name: Shallan Davar pronunciation: Sha-Lahn Dah-var (fuck IPA i am not doing that shit again)
nicknames: strong one (by hoid), love, dear (by adolin), storming woman (mostly by kaladin)
height: 5′6″ age: 19/20 (rosharan years) / 21-22 (earth years)   zodiac: gemini (donut ask me when her bday is i donut have a date yet) languages: (spoken/written): veden (native), alethi, azish, selay (moderate skill in speaking only) thaylen (reading/writing only).
PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.
hair colour: rich, deep red, only red. eye colour: bright blue skin tone: shallan is very fair, though she spends as much time in the sun as she can, so her face is dusted with freckles. body type: slim and slender. unlike the curvaceous body type often seen on alethi women, shallan is much smaller both in figure and stature. she could be mistaken for delicate, at first glance. as she spends more time training with her blade, her body becomes much more defined and muscular, but she will never achieve any kind of bulky muscles, she simply does not have the body type.
accent: her natural veder accent would be considered low, given shallan’s isolation out in the countryside. she can speak in a more posh (re: acceptable) accent, but she has little reason to do so. dominant hand: right posture: shallan has the posture of a perfect vorin lady, back straight and shoulders back at all times. when sitting, her freehand always covers her safehand, placed delicately in her lap unless she is sketching. when walking, her hands are clasped in front of her. she is rarely animated in her posture when speaking, and depending on her company, she works hard to blend in. when alone, shallan may slouch when studying, or do her work in a very unlady like fashion on her bed. if she trusts her present company, they may witness this lapse in acceptable posture, but only if she trusts them.
CHILDHOOD.
place of birth: jah kaved hometown: some hick town in the middle of the countryside. birth weight / height: 6 pounds, 3 ounces. 18 inches. manner of birth: natural first words: pa siblings: (all elder, all brothers) helaran, balat, twins: wikim and jushu parents: lin davar, and an unnamed mother, malise davar (step mother), all deceased. parental involvement: shallan remembers a somewhat happy childhood (although the likelihood of that being the case is up for debate). her mother taught her how to draw, and was in charge of shallan’s education in the early years. much of her early years have been forgotten due to the trauma of shallan’s witnessing (see: committing) her mother’s murder. she did not speak at all for half a year afterwards. from that point on, her father became overbearing, and with each year he was less of the man shallan had first known. he was violent towards two of her brothers and the servants, often scaring away tutors, so shallan’s education in those critical years was sporadic at best. her father demanded complete obedience, and any deviation on her part meant that a servant got beaten in her place. in order to spare them and placate her father, shallan worked hard to draw little attention to herself and obey. it was her father who also chose her devotary (purity) rather than her having the opportunity to choose for herself.
ADULT LIFE
occupation: she is the ward of jasnah kholin, having managed to convince the woman she was worthy of wardship at seventeen. after being taken in, shallan begins her education in scholarship, fine tuning her skills in making logic based arguments, study, and critical thinking.
on the shattered plains, she secures work with highprince sebarial as a clerk while maintaining the work in finding urithiru that she started with jasnah, and working to infiltrate the secret group known as the ghostbloods.
she latter assumes a more public role as a knight radiant, the first of the order of lightweavers in centuries. while her status as a radiant is known, she works very hard to keep her work covert. she deals in spywork and information, and uses her lightweaving to form disguises for herself and associates. she has also used her abilities to battle unmade, work oathgates, and help run reconnaissance in kholinar.
as highprincess, her duties would include helping manage affairs of the realm and detecting intrigue to better aid her husband.
close friends: lmafo what are those????? jk, her brothers, later adolin, renarin, kaladin, jasnah (sort of, more teacher/student) wit/hoid (when he’s around). relationship status: verse dependent, married to adolin kholin in canon financial status: her family is destitute, and shallan herself has little experience in personally handling money. that being said, she knows how to balance finances and plan expenses. when working for sebarial, she manages to secure a comfortable pay from him, her later marriage secures her financial security, though her status as a radiant could’ve done that too. driver’s license: she could probably drive, but would be terrible at it due to the fact that she’d keep lookin out the window. she has little experience on horseback, but can manage. criminal record: technically none yet, having managed to get away with murder twice. she had also stolen successfully from jasnah kholin.  
SEX & ROMANCE.
sexual orientation: bisexual romantic orientation: biromantic, could be polyromantic preferred emotional role: submissive (someone pls force her to accept comfort i am beggin) | dominant |  switch  |  unsure preferred sexual role: submissive |  dominant  |  switch  |  sex repulsed | libido: she’s basically DTF anytime and anywhere, and yes, i wish i were kidding, but she���s just horny on main. turn ons: she’s into more traditional kinds of attractiveness, people who look put together. but she really enjoys some kind of hint at wildness, hair that won’t quite stay, a kind of subtle ruggedness. post-battle disheveledness  is HOT. allow her to talk about her studies, things she’s working on or wanting to start, she’ll love that. don’t be afraid to talk about your own interests, she goes off on her own a lot, so she’ll want someone with their own hobbies too. be kind, be willing to grow and change and share. be there if she asks. laugh at her absolutely fucking awful jokes. on the more physical side, not being afraid to show affection in public. that spot on the neck below the ear? yeah, kiss it. leave a mark. kiss the inside of her wrist. do not be afraid to be rough with her, she’s not easily hurt and she doesn’t always like being treated like a china doll. go to town. BUT you must also be good at taking your time. tenderness is a good trait to have in every day life, but if you can translate that into the intimacy of the bedroom, give her a slow buildup, ur golden. turn offs: unnecessary rudeness, lack of independence. anyone who treats her like she needs protecting, or thinks she needs to confine herself in some way, for any amount of time. never laughing at her terrible jokes, or indulging her seemingly random curiosities. being a skybreaker. love language: physical touch is primary, but quality time and words of affirmation are also great. relationship tendencies: shallan has a tendency to fall fast. even when she’s telling herself to be careful and take things slow, it’s easy to pull her in and have her grow an attachment on a superficial level fairly early. she’s good about letting the other person lean on her for support, but she’s not so great when it comes to sharing anything deep about herself. she has a habit of trying to mold herself into what she thinks the other person would like, and clinging to that. if confused she might play around with feelings, though she’s not fully aware she’s doing it. she’s big on positive reinforcement, she’ll let you know if she enjoys your company, and when she’s invested in the relationship, she’ll look for fun ways to spend time with that person. she might attempt to appear more serious and mature than she is, but her silliness will slip out. when she loves though, she loves completely, and a distracted heart is settled once she makes a decision about what she wants.
MISCELLANEOUS.
character’s theme song: flowers, from ha.des.town iris, goo goo dolls moth’s wings, passion pit: this is more a general vibe. i picture it when shallan is in a creative spurt. sun, sleeping at last: for the same creation aesthetic. fire drills, dessa (for when she finally Snaps. and also some lines just really Hit)
hobbies to pass the time: drawing is the big one. she’s always got her sketchbook and something to draw with on hand. it’s an art she’s perfected and uses it both for her lightweaving, and to relax. she enjoys scholarship, exploring history is of a special interest, but taking a closer look at the local flora and fauna is just as fun. she’s naturally curious, so if something grabs her attention, she will want to take a look. she also enjoys discussing what she’s working on with other people, sometimes just so she can use them as a sounding board, but also because they might have insights she doesn’t. it’s very fun for her to explore ideas. she likes going on walks, exploring the area around her. just spending quality time with people she enjoys too. mental illnesses: Dissociative Personality Disorder is the big one. ADHD, PTSD, some depression. physical illnesses: None. left or right brained: right fears: CONFINEMENT. she fears vulnerability and relying others, but she also craves it quite a bit. she fears being understood completely because she’s certain there isn’t anything left to love if someone were to see everything. she fears what she can’t understand, and losing the people she loves, more than she already has. self confidence level: extremely low. she projects an air of self confidence, but frequently downplays her talents. she finds it completely astounding that adolin might actually find her attractive in any sense, let alone be interested in her as a person. her trauma and what she precieves as crimes has left her feeling hollowed out, because she is so terrified of someone really Seeing her, she works hard to hide those corners of herself from others and often feels like she’s failing at even that. vulnerabilities: shallan keeps secrets. too many of them. and she can often dig herself into a pit and struggle to get herself out, and even when she’s in that deep, she has difficulty asking for help. she doesn’t always think things through. her dpd can leave her particularly vulnerable depending on which personality is in control (veil in particular has trouble seeing the Big Picture). it’s easy to goad her into a fight (of the verbal variety) and she will stop at nothing to have the last word. if you have members of her family to hold over her, that’s a good tool. and shallan cannot resist a good mystery, that is a surefire way to pull her in.
tagged by: @luck-crowned tagging: @marblecarved (for mary, emma, or horace!), @melnchly (meg or ros), @minastiriiths, @arturiusrex, @gxtenoughnxrve, @ambiidexter, and @arborvitas
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geist-fledermaus · 4 years
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Get To Know Me!
Since I’ve received quite a few followers here and there, I might as well do this!
What is your full name?: Beryl (Sorry, I don’t like my whole name)
What does your name mean?: It’s a gemstone. 
Are you named after anyone?: My großmütter, Beryl Rae Jensen
Does your name make any interesting anagrams?: Not really?
If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?: Fuck if I know. Probably something basic so I’m less easy to find. 
Where are you from?: North Pole, AK (I shit you not)
Where were you born?: North Pole, AK
Where did you grow up?: North Pole, AK
Who did you look up to growing up?: My father.
What are your best characteristics?: I can draw. 
What are your favorite things about yourself?: I can draw. 
Which of your parents are you closest to?: My dad.
Which of your parents are you more like?: My daaaad.
What relative was important to you growing up & why?: Tbh My dad was my super hero, he took care of me and my sister, worked 3 jobs, and took care of mom while she went through cancer. He’s the most important lmfao.
What is one thing that you’ve never revealed to your parents?: I’m Pagan.
What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?: Bert Raymond... 
What is your best physical feature?: Eyes or chest. :/ 
What is your biggest accomplishment?: Being locally recognized as an artist, especially on local TV. 
What is your biggest fear?: Being forgotten, being alone. 
What is your biggest regret?: Not pushing myself even more with art. 
What is your eye color?: Various blues with inner green circles. 
What inspires you?: Other artists. 
What is the most important thing in your life?: My fiance! @boywasgirl
What has required the most courage of you in your life so far?: To not give up. To not quit college and drop everything I’ve worked hard for. 
What is your favorite flower?: Sunflowers!
What is your favorite weather?: Rainy weather and thunder/lightning storms!
Who is your favorite actor?: I have a few, but I love Johnny Depp and Jason Momoa. 
Who is your favorite actress?: F u c k. I adore Emma Stone, Emma Watson.. uhh.. Emilia Clarke! That’s just to name a few. 
Who is your favorite celebrity?: Oh fuck. Idk. 
Who is your favorite musician?: They’re a band but I love Bring Me The Horizon, Oliver Syke’s voice and lyrics hit me hard. 
Who’s your favorite person in the world?: @boywasgirl
Who are your best friends?: @armageddonne @darkdragoonxiii @vixenchildxd69-blog and my bff Alisha! 
What is your favorite childhood memory?: My sister breaking the fucking garage door like a dumbshit. 
What is your favorite color?: Black or seafoam green~ I also love other greens and blues! It’s so damn hard to choose. 
What is your favorite cultural activity?: Uh. Axe throwing? Idk what counts as a cultural activity when it comes to me and my family haha. 
What is your favorite drink?: For waking up, Monster or pomegranate and orange redbull kickers, I love mountain dew, anything with peaches and mango as well. 
What is your favorite fairytale?: HAHA. I looove reading about the Tales of Grimm. I can’t just pick one. 
What is your favorite food?: Pizza or Taco Bell.
What is your favorite holiday destination?: Anywhere but Alaska. I love to explore. I REALLY want to travel to Germany, Norway, Ireland, England, and most of Western Europe. 
What is your favorite ice-cream flavor?: Strawberry Cheesecake or Mint Chocolate
What is your favorite music genre?: Fuck. I have so many. I love a lot of metal subgenres, alternative rock, punk, old 2000′s emo bands, EDM, rap, I don’t even know how to label all of my favorites but there’s a lot to unpack there. If you’re curious just shoot me a question ahaha! 
What is your favorite physical activity?: Swimming!! 
What is your favorite quote?: “Keep listening to music because it gets you through everything, I promise.” - Mitch Lucker, former vocalist of Suicide Silence. 
What is your favorite snack?: Peach Rings, Brightside Skittles.. Uhh. MY MOM’S CLAM DIP AND RUFFLES CHIPS? 
What is your favorite song?: Throne - BMTH or Mis//Understanding - We Came As Romans.
What is your favorite sport?: Swimming, Hockey, Volleyball and Fencing. 
What is your favorite time of the day?: Early afternoons or late nights. 
What is your favorite type of clothing?: Goth/Alt fashion. 
What is your favorite way to pass time?: Gaming or drawing. 
What is the name of your favorite restaurant?: Family Diner (It’s in my town. It’s really chill and laid back.)
What is your all-time favorite town or city? Why?: I really enjoyed Denver, CO. It was filled with really colorful, intriguing personalities. There was so much to explore, everyone was so open and sweet. 
What is your height?: ... 5′2″
What time period would you love to live in?: Viking Era. 
What did you do for fun as a child?: Drawing. 
Who was a role model in your life?: My dad! 
Did you have any childhood pets?: I grew up with 5 cats and 4 dogs! 
When you were young, what did you want to be?: A mortician. 
What family traditions were important to you?: I can’t even remember many.. I loved during gatherings how we’d play Spoons, wrestle, and be reckless though. 
What was your favorite childhood memory?: Ahah! Shenanigans with my “Twin” Kyle. 
What was your favorite childhood possession?: My Gameboy Color! 
What challenges did you experience when you were young?: Almost losing my mother, trying to speak English, being bullied heavily. 
What is a defining moment from your childhood?: My mother coming home from the hospital finally. 
What do you do for fun?: Play video games and draw. I’m pretty boring. 
What are your hobbies?: Drawing, Painting, Digital Art, Gaming, Dancing, Singing.
What is something that you’re really passionate about?: My art.
What is something you could spend hours doing?: Drawing
What is something you wish you did more often?: Draw. 
If you had to watch a documentary, what would you want it to be about?: Anything WW1/WW2 related or Forensics/Serial Killer related. 
What do you always have on in the background?: Lofi Hiphop or random videos on youtube that catch my eye. 
How do you feel about travel?: Fuck yeah, where are we going and for how long? 
What is a guilty pleasure you enjoy?: Fuckin’ watching Serial Killer documentaries. 
How have your interests changed over the years?: Nah, I’m still the same. I’m pretty bland. 
Which sibling are you closest to?: My sister, Erika! 
How close are you with your parents?: Close but not too close.
How has your relationship with your parents changed over the years?: For the worse.
What is one of the most important lessons that you learned from your family?: You cannot trust anyone. Not even your own family. 
When does your family cause you to stress?: All the damn time. All they need to do is send me a text and I immediately begin to dread. 
What does the word family mean to you?: Something that I never got to fully have but I experienced. It’s also something I can create on my own accord. 
When you envision your ideal family, what do you see?: Honestly me with my partner/partners, kids, animals, and friends. 
How vulnerable is your family with each other?: Everyone is always on guard and they’ll be mean if you even show some form of sensitivity. 
What is a family trait that isn’t necessarily the healthiest?: Being a snitch, gaslighting, gatekeeping, misogyny, yelling if you even show an inkling of emotion. I could go on. 
What relatives had the biggest impact on you growing up?: In a negative way, almost all of my family. The only two I really loved growing up were my dad and sister, Erika. 
What do you watch on television?: If it’s cable I go to MTV, Forensic Files, or Adult Swim/Anything with cartoons. 
What is one of your favorite movies?: To Hell And Back, Howl’s Moving Castle, Princess Mononoke, Dracula Untold (For some reason I just really like it, don’t judge). 
If you could have free tickets to any event, what would it be?: A BMTH concert PLEASE. Or anything that’s a EDM/Rave environment. ;_;
What is your favorite form of media?: Youtube tbh. 
What role does music play in your life?: A huge role, BMTH got me through a lot of hard times. 
What is one of your favorite books?: Corey Taylor’s Seven Deadly Sins. It’s a riot of a read and makes me laugh. 
How often do you watch sporting events?: Here and there, especially at bars if they have Hockey going. 
What would your ideal weekend getaway look like?: Road trip to Anchorage and staying at my mom’s cousin’s estate in the mountains. I only got to go there a few times and the view is absolutely captivating. You can see the waters, the city, all the lights.. fuck I’d love to draw that. 
Who are popular figures that you love to learn from?: Fuck if I know LOL. 
What celebrity/musician would you love to meet in real life?: Oliver Sykes and Maria Brink tbh.
If you wrote a memoir about your life, what would it be called?: “Well, That Happened.” A memoir of a dumb bitch LOL. 
What fictional world would you want to travel to for a day?: FUCK. I’d love to just be in a simulation like the girl in Porter Robinson’s music video of Shelter. Just being in a drawing simulation where I can run around and create anything and everything around me. But if we’re talking actual worlds.. I’d probably love to be in Avatar The Last Airbender’s world. I love that series so much. 
What room in your house most represents who you are as a person?: The Office. It’s got art supplies, our gaming PC, all of my schoolwork/homework, the drawing tablets.. 
How clean a person are you?: Tbh I am pretty clean, it’s just cleaning huge messes/unpacking that I hate. 
What is a pet peeve that you have?: STOP CHEWING WITH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH OPEN. 
What behavior do you do that is most likely a pet peeve to others?: Uhh. Idk. Nail biting? Loud laughter? forgetting to turn off lights? Idk. 
What phrase or word do you overuse when you talk?: “I’m so sorry” “I m a g i n e” 
If you could only eat at one restaurant for the rest of your life, what would it be?: Fuck. Hahaaaaa. I’d probably love to just sit and eat at the Family Diner. I love their Reubens. 
What is something about your personality that you like? Don’t like?: I like that people feel comfortable running to me when they need a friend. I don’t like a lot about me, though.
What would your friends be surprised to learn about you?: I am ambidextrous and I know German/Englisch and some French! I want to learn Norwegian even more and Gaelic! 
Where do you see yourself in a few years?: West coast where it’s rainy with those that I love, pursuing my career finally after all these years of hard work. 
Thanks for reading this if you finally made it to the end! If there’s other questions you want to ask, don’t hesitate! ^^ Hopefully you learned something about me! 
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Ninjago/Avatar au Pt 4
Basically just Book 1 (and I agonize over ships. Help)
(Also I finally finished watching A:TLA)
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 5)
Recap time:
So, we’ve got Maya, Garm, Lloyd, Kai, and Nya flying on Ultra and trying to get to the North Pole. Morro and Wu are pursuing them, as is Clouse, (who will be taking Zhao’s place) and, y’know, the entire Fire Nation. Koko has been abroad for about three years, looking for any information on the Avatar she can. Ray went off to fight with the other men from the Southern Water Tribe.
They have a lot of similar adventures to cannon: they go to the Southern Air Temple to see if that can jog any memories from Lloyds past lives. It doesn’t work, Lloyd just gets ahold of a glider (there are a lot of shenanigans with him learning how to use that) and adopts a Flying Lemur (give Lloyd all of the pets pls) who is just as mischievous as Lloyd. They take a detour to Kyoshi Island, and get a letter that Koko had left for them, saying that she was going to look for a mysterious library (wink). They also befriend one of the prominent members of the village, Cyrus Borg, and his daughter Pixal (she’s human), the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors (I know Cyrus would make a great Mechanist, but the idea of Kyoshi Warrior Pixal was too good and I fell in love with it. Also Samuraishipping is fantastic.)
They fight pirates, there are Spirit World shenanigans (btw the last fully realized Avatar before Lloyd, and his spirit guide is a human version of Firstborn.) and there might be a Jet stand-in if I can figure out a good character for that role. There’s a running gag of people automatically assuming that Maya and Garm are married, to their combined amusement and annoyance, until one of the kids will call one of them their parent, and the other one aunt or uncle (they’re family in this au. Fight me). Eventually they just start automatically answering anything that implies they’re a couple with ‘We’re siblings’.
Wu and Morro have been chasing them the whole way. Wu has been conflicted this whole time; he just found out that his brother is actually alive, and has been hiding for years, with the Avatar no less. And now he’s having to hunt both of them down (as well as his brothers wife and kids? Maybe?) when all he wants to do is, like, talk? Have a cup of tea and catch up maybe? Meanwhile Garm is thinking that Wu is completely on their father’s side, and that he won’t show them any mercy if he catches them.
Eventually they make it to the Northern Water Tribe. The chief is the former elemental master of ice. I shall call him Ice, bc I dont think he has an actual name. He’s a waterbender. And now we finally meet Zane, the white haired (human) wonder! (Heh, you all can probably guess where I’m going with this. Pls don’t kill me.) His unnamed mother died giving birth to his younger brother, Echo, when Zane was about two, and their father died a few years after that, and they were taken in by Ice, who was a close friend of their parent.
I don’t think I’ll make Zane a bender bc of the whole ‘moon spirit saved my life as a baby’ thing, but Echo is (purely for angst reasons. You’ll see what I mean in a bit). But this is the part where we get some sweet sweet Oppositeshipping! Zane isn’t betrothed to anyone, but even though he likes Kai, he’s constantly worried about his tribes safety and worried about what will happen when the Fire Nation shows up (he’s smart enough to know that they will show up eventually) and he’s scared of letting everyone down, and there are just a lot of issues there holding him back from being in a relationship with Kai.
Now, even though everyone knows that Lloyds the Avatar, they’ve kept it secret that Kai and Garm are firebenders (and Garms whole backstory) for obvious reasons. But you guys know that date that Zuko went on in Ba Sing Se? Pretend that they have that lantern thing in the Northern Water Tribe. Kai and Zane have that cute date and Kai lights the lanterns and its adorable.
But I bet you’re wondering who takes the place of krusty old Pakku? Krux of course! Who better to be the traditionalist old jerk waterbender teacher than the traditionalist old jerk boomer? (Acronix is there too. He’s not a bender. If I could find a way to work Futureshipping into this au, I totally would. I am still trying to figure out how to organically work it in) So Lloyd, Nya, and Maya are ready to learn some traditional waterbending (bc even though Maya is a really good waterbender, she literally just made up her own style. It would be like someone trained in acrobatics and dance, turning it into a form of combat, and entering a mixed martial arts tournament. She’s always wanted to learn some traditional waterbending) but Krux does the whole ‘boys do combat, girls do healing’ speech.
None of them like it much, but they go along with it and try to pull the whole ‘I’ll just show you what he showed me!’ thing and get caught. Krux demands an apology, and Maya is trying to keep Lloyd and Nya from blowing up at Krux, and she’s also trying to keep from blowing up herself (I hc that Kai gets his temper from Maya). Krux says something about how even if he wanted to teach them, clearly Maya, and Nya especially, don’t have what it takes to be real waterbenders, and Maya fucking snaps. She goes off on Krux, says some things about how she’s spent her whole life living in fear, and how she worked her ass off to hone her bending, and then she challenges him to go outside and she’ll show him what a ‘real’ waterbender can do.
Lloyd, Kai, and Nya are all a little shocked. It’s the first time they’ve seen Maya get so mad. Garm, who has known Maya for years, had been trying to subtly tell Krux to shut up (even though Krux was really pissing him off too, but someone needed to be the adult). Since Maya isn’t about to let Krux get away without a fight, Garm is just thinking ‘hoo boy, here we go’.
Krux tries to walk away from Maya, and then promptly gets his ass handed to him on a silver platter. He begrudgingly admits that, while Maya’s bending is chaotic and wild and sloppy, it is very powerful. But just bc she was able to beat him in one fight doesn’t mean that he has to teach any of them any waterbending. Maya says ‘fine! We just thought it would be a good idea for the damn Avatar to learn traditional waterbending, but I guess I’ll just go ahead and teach him more of my ‘wild, chaotic, sloppy’ waterbending style! And, I’ll teach anyone in this tribe who wants to learn from me, no matter who they are! And besides, it’s not like you can stop me.’
And so she did! Maya spends the next little while teaching not only Lloyd and Nya everything she’s come up with, but a bunch of the young waterbenders in the tribe learn from her too, as well as some older benders. Krux is less than pleased, but he isn’t looking for Round 2, so he keeps his mouth shut. Garm has been trying to lay low through all this. As low as possible for the father of the Avatar at least.
Meanwhile, Wu and Morro have been tracking them down diligently. At least, Morro is being diligent. Wu has been a little shit and trying to slow them down on purpose, and anytime they have to fight team Avatar, he keeps trying to use that to get his brother alone and get him to talk shit out dammit brother, where have you been and who are these people do I have niblings? cause you do and he’s a good kid even though hes trying to kill you right now explain that he is really, truly glad that he’s alive and well, and that no, he doesn’t actually want to catch him.
There wasn’t any type of assassination attempt on Morros life like there was Zuko, he either faked an injury so he could go on his secret ‘capture the Avatar’ mission during the siege on the Northern Water Tribe, or he wasn’t allowed to go and snuck away (with a little help from Wu either way). He does the same thing Zuko did with the underwater tunnel, but Morro doesn’t have firebending to break the ice. He has airbending (bet no-one saw that coming). I debated with myself for a long, long time if I should make Morro an airbender (they were nomads, and bending is inherited. It’s not that hard to believe that a few airbenders survived that way. I also love the airbender Ty Lee theory)
Wu figured it out when Morro was pretty young, and did everything in his power to both teach Morro, and keep his bending a secret. This played a big part in contributing to Morro’s need to be seen as worthy and deserving.
So anyways, the siege. It’s happening. Kai is being a bit of a grumpy angst lord (bc he wants to hold hands with a pretty boy) but gets assigned by Ice to guard Zane and Echo. Lloyd enters the Spirit World, Morro fights Nya and only wins bc he pulled out his secret airbending when she had her back turned. Meanwhile, Maya and Garm are helping fight of the Fire Nation (Maya with her waterbending, Garm with hand-to-hand combat) when Garm see’s Clouse going off to kill the Moon Spirit and follows him. Wu also follows them and gives Clouse the whole ‘we need the moon too’ speech.
Garm watches from the shadows as that confrontation takes place, but jumps in to fight the Fire Nation soldiers who came with Clouse at the same time that Wu does when he kills the Moon Spirit, and not only does he all-out firebend for the first time in a while (once he and Ray became more trusted by the Southern Water Tribe the blanket ban on their firebending was lifted, but it’s kind of a bad idea to excessively play with fire in a village that’s made almost entirely of ice and snow) he reveals his identity to everyone. He’s actually a little surprised that Clouse is surprised that he’s alive. He figured that Wu would have told everyone about his death being greatly exaggurated.
Clouse books it, Lloyd fuses with the Ocean Spirit to go wreck the Fire Nation, things are a teensy bit more awkward in the spirit-cave-pond-area-place with Garm and Wu being there together, but its overall just a somber moment.
And then, Zane becomes the new Moon Spirit. But not only do we have a sad Oppositeshipping good-bye kiss, we have a sad last hug ever between Zane and Echo. I made Echo a waterbender solely so it could be a terribly sad thing where anytime Echo bends he can feel his brother with him. It’s sad. There are tears (including from myself as I type this). Kai is comforted by Garm, which is basically confirms Wu’s incorrect suspicions that Kai and Nya and Maya are Garms kids and wife, and that they’re helping the Avatar (look, this gag is just too funny to me and I will keep it going as long as I can.)
When they leave the spirit pond, Wu tries to pull Garm aside to talk to him, but Garm still has no idea if he can trust Wu, and that means that the kids are super wary of him (they know that Wu and Garm are brothers) so all that really accomplishes is getting Kai to firebend at Wu’s face (btw, Kai firebending is a big deal. When he was a fairly little kid he accidentally firebended [firebent?] and Maya got burned. For Kai, firebending is the last thing he uses, not the first) and then grabbing Garm and Nya (whos giving an inconsolable Echo a piggy-back ride as he is still sobbing) and booking it. But not before Wu was able to slip a letter into Garm’s parka.
While all this is going down, Morro and Clouse had their little scuffle, but Morro has to airbend at one point to save his own skin, and not only does Clouse see, but quite a few mid-retreat Fire Nation soldiers see as well. Then Clouse gets killed by the Ocean Spirit.
Morro and Wu steal a raft and book it, since now one of them is a traitor and the other was just outed as an airbender. Krux and a group of people, both benders and non-benders, head to the South Pole to help them out. Echo is a part of this group; it’s what he knows Zane would have wanted to do. Team Avatar head out to find Lloyd an earthbending teacher, and Garm finds the letter from Wu. He’s scared to open it, and doesn’t for a while.
And now, it’s time to introduce a new character! See, back in the Fire Nation, the Firelord had been growing displeased with his son. Despite Wu’s best efforts, dear old dad had caught on to how much Wu disliked the war, and he figured it would only be a matter of time before something tipped Wu over the edge and he turned full traitor. That would leave him as a ruler with no heirs, and that wouldn’t do. So he secretly was searching for a good candidate to take the throne, preferably an orphan, who showed proficiency in firebending and could be moulded into a cut-throat living weapon.
He found what he was looking for in a young girl named Harumi. A firebending prodigy whose parents had both died in the war. And now that the Firelord learned that, not only did his younger son turn traitor in the North Pole and run off with his airbender adopted son, but his disgraced fool of an older son is alive and actively helping the Avatar, well, it’s high time the world saw just what his hand-picked heir can do.
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