#i did have some fun ideas for tour stories tho soooo | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kindahoping4forever · 2 years

Text

You Feel Like A Holiday // Ashton Irwin

Of course the cabin would find its way into the Stage!Ash universe at some point! I was so excited when I came up with the concept for this Christmas fic last year, I actually paused writing the Halloween fic to start on this one lol. Thank you to @cal-puddies for enduring endless drafts of this and to everyone who requested the return of Stage!Ash over the past year, I always knew I'd get around to finishing these "lost" fics but I don't know that I'd have the confidence to post them so belatedly if it wasn't for the support and affection for this series.

This is somewhat of an ending to this series - I'd say it's enough of a conclusion to the emotional thread that if I never wrote this couple again, we'd all be satisfied but it's still open-ended enough for me to continue if it felt necessary. I'd love to know your thoughts on this!

Warnings: Boyfriend!Ash, Stage!Ash: Christmas Getaway Edition. So much soft, romantic shit it's actually embarrassing, like I was clearly going through something. Brief mention of weed use, 69 (simultaneous oral sex), needy sex by the fireplace, cockwarming. Seriously, though, this fic will absolutely call you single. I'm the person who wrote it and it hurt MY feelings.

Word Count: 12k

Encore: A Stage!Ash Series Masterlist

Masterlist // Ko-Fi linked above

Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated!

You rub your tired eyes and roll over to face the chuckling man laying in your bed beside you. “Wait… what? Are you serious?”

Ashton answers with a soft smile as he reaches over to run a hand gently down your back. “Baby, you’ve been dealing with a lot of stress already before this back-and-forth game you have going on with your parents. ‘Can’t wait for you to come home for Christmas… no, actually don’t, it’s not safe… OK, come home but don’t bring guests… and since you’ll already be here, might as well all quarantine through New Year’s and spend that together’,” he recaps the past couple weeks of messages you’ve relayed to him.

“I guess it has been a lot,” you admit.

“Soooo, would you want to go up to the cabin, turn our phones off and spend Christmas just the two of us?” He repeats his suggestion.

You frown, thinking. “I dunno, Ash… didn’t you say Mike was having a thing at his place? Since you can’t go home, you should still be with family.”

“I would be,” he says simply.

As if his offer wasn’t enough to floor you, the casual way he notes how close you’ve become leaves you speechless. You stare in dreamy disbelief at your boyfriend; even after dating for half a year, you’re still not sure how to respond when his earnestness catches you off guard like this.

Ashton is unfazed by your silence, leaning over your pillow to press a kiss to your forehead. “You deserve a break and you know your parents will be thrilled to see you no matter what date the calendar says.”

He starts to lay back down but you stop him by taking his face in your hands and kissing him. The look in his eyes when he pulls away tells you he understands how much this conversation has meant to you. “I have been wondering when I’d get my invitation up there,” you tease.

“Well, this is obviously a pity invite,” Ash giggles, unable to keep a straight face. “Plus, it’s way too cold for Calum this time of year.”

You land a few playful jabs to his side before he scoops you up to lay on his chest and the two of you discuss logistics until you fall asleep.

You decide to head out a few days before Christmas since there’s a storm making its way up the coast and you want to be settled before any rain or snow starts up. Telling your family about your change of plans goes much smoother than you expected and by the time you’re sitting in Ash’s passenger seat, tucking into a hot coffee and breakfast sandwich, you’re feeling relaxed already.

“It’s an easy trip up, just a couple hours,” he explains as he climbs in the car, waiting all of 8 seconds before planting his hand on your thigh. He queues up the playlist he put together for the ride and mentions, “There’s a market just down the road from my place, figure we can make a quick grocery and firewood stop on the way.”

You raise his hand to your lips, kissing it before placing it back on your leg where it belongs. “Sounds like a plan,” you chirp enthusiastically.

As promised, the drive flies by - it’s always easy to lose track of time when you and Ash get to talking. At the store, you stroll the aisles together, breezing through the necessities list you made on the ride there. As you’re tossing the last of your items onto the checkout counter, Ashton casually announces he forgot something, hands you his car key and credit card and vows to meet you outside. Your curiosity outweighs your suspicion and you play along, paying the bill and pushing the cart out to the parking lot.

Midway through putting the bags in the trunk, you laugh to yourself as you realize you’d recognize the sound of his keys jangling on his belt loop anywhere. You turn around to see a grinning Ash headed towards you with a boxed artificial Christmas tree hoisted over his shoulder and two bags containing ornaments and lights hanging off his arms.

“Ash,” you sigh. “You didn’t have to do this.”

He cheerfully brushes off your comment and carefully fits the box in the car. “Well, what’s Christmas without a tree?”

“We’re literally going to a forest,” you reply playfully.

He giggles as he pokes your side, unwilling to let you deflect from how touched you are by his gesture. “You’re welcome, baby.” He pulls you in, kissing your temple.

It only takes a few more songs on the playlist to arrive at Ashton’s cabin and it's as peaceful and cozy as you’d hoped it would be. The pictures you'd seen and stories you'd heard definitely made it seem like an idyllic getaway but as you follow Ash into the charming avocado green house, you’re still surprised by how instantly at home and welcome you feel.

“Lemme get this fire going and then I’ll give you the grand tour,” he promises, quickly unpacking the supplies from the market.

You nod agreeably, watching as he shrugs off his coat and starts working to set up the fireplace. The way his large frame contrasts the small living room, how he so easily hauls the wood around, how carefully his hands work to arrange everything - it all makes you want to curl up into him and let yourself drown in his warmth. You know there’ll be plenty of time for that later so for now, you just admire from afar.

With the fire now warming the cabin, Ashton shows you around, beaming as he points out which features are his favorites and what he thinks you’ll love. It’s not a large property by any means but it takes a while to move through the space since of course he has an anecdote for just about every piece of art or furniture he selected.

“I hope it isn’t too cold to hang out back here. At night we’ve got heat lamps and the fire pit and in the mornings, the sun hits everything so perfectly,” he comments as you follow him onto the large deck. “Having the forest right there, almost like it’s my backyard… I could stay out here for hours. Writing, smoking, just thinking… it’s perfect for just about everything. There’s nothing like this view.”

“I’ll say,” you flirt, sliding your arms around his waist and snuggling into his side.

He laughs, giving you a squeeze. “That’s so cheesy!”

You shake your head. “It’s true! I love watching how you get when you’re passionate about something.”

“Well in that case,” he says, smoothly bringing you into a slow kiss.

You giggle as you pull away, “That was cheesy.”

The two of you work together to unload the car and get your belongings somewhat organized. The weather stays agreeable enough for Ash to fire up the barbecue and grill some burgers for an early dinner. The evening is devoted to moving the furniture around so there’s room to assemble and decorate the Christmas tree you both now apparently own.

“You realize we’re going to all this trouble just so we can undo it all in a couple days and lug everything all the way home?” You tease as you grab the popcorn out of the microwave, emptying it into a bowl to cool before you string it.

“Nah,” Ashton jovially shrugs off your remark, stepping back to admire the lights he’s just finished wrapping around the tree’s branches. “It’s fake so we can just leave it up and deal with it next time we visit… stick the box in the spare room and it’ll be here waiting for us next Christmas.”

There it is again: the way your heart skips a beat, that familiar warmth that floods your veins whenever he talks about the future. You’ve been together a matter of months and yet he so easily references being with you in a year’s time, like it’s a given - not that he takes your presence for granted but that it’s only logical you’d be spending another holiday season together. You’ve found each other and you belong with him now, your plans are his and his yours.

As your mind processes these thoughts, you cross the room and do what you’ve become accustomed to doing when you’re feeling overwhelmed: you slip your arms around your boyfriend and bury your face in his back. The knitted sweater he’s wearing is scratchy against your face but you don’t care, you press yourself harder against him, inhaling deeply, letting both his scent and his body heat ground you.

You can tell Ashton’s not exactly sure why you’re feeling the way you are but he knows enough to let you take what you need from him in this moment. He separates your clasped hands from around his torso and takes one in each of his hands, holding them tightly as he crosses his own arms around himself, essentially helping you hug him.

He sways with you for a moment before gently breaking the silence because it’s in his nature to. “Popcorn smells good.”

You smile into his back, pressing a kiss to the center before loosening your hold on his body. “I was thinking about throwing another bag in to snack on while we decorate. We’ve got plenty.”

He turns around and cups your chin to kiss you softly. “Perfect.”

The next morning, you roll over, intending to curl up against Ash but instead are met with the feeling of cold sheets and an unoccupied pillow; your eyes shoot open, lips forming into a pout. The sound of an acoustic guitar strumming in the distance softens your mood instantly and you get out of bed, sliding your feet into a pair of slippers and draping a blanket over the shoulders of the henley you stole from Ash to sleep in, and you follow the music out onto the deck.

You step outside and discover that not only is the weather surprisingly mild for a December morning, it’s apparently warm enough that Ashton is out here, barefoot and in his bathrobe, spread out on the patio couch with his guitar. As you walk over, you note the empty coffee mug, picked over bowl of fruit and half-finished joint in the ashtray sitting on the fire pit ledge - it looks like he’s been out here a while.

“Mornin’, baby!” He greets you cheerfully, moving to a cross-legged position to make room for you on the couch. “Hope the music wasn’t too loud?”

“The music was nice, the bed was just too cold without you,” you explain, giving him a quick kiss before you sit down, murmuring at the combination of coffee, smoke and citrus on his lips.

“Aww, poor baby,” Ash playfully pouts, reaching over to squeeze your knee through your flannel pajama pants. “I wanted to make sure I got some writing time out here before the storm, my creativity is always so different up here. I didn’t think you’d be a fan of the early wakeup call, so I let you be.”

“My hero,” you grin, leaning over to kiss him more thoroughly, happily scratching over the fresh stubble adorning his previously clean-shaven cheeks. “Mmm, can one of my Christmas gifts be you not shaving while we’re here?”

“Didn’t even consider bringing a razor,” he laughs, leaning into your touch.

You settle back and relax on the couch, listening to him skillfully pluck the steel strings of his guitar while you help yourself to the breakfast he abandoned. Ash was right, the morning sun hits just right, warming your skin and casting a luscious glow across the deck. He pauses his playing to scrawl something into a notebook and you study him as you pick up the still burning joint from the ashtray and take a puff. The way the sunlight catches the natural highlights in his hair, that one particular curl hanging over his furrowed brow as he writes, his jaw clenching and unclenching in concentration. You weren’t kidding when you said this was your favorite view.

He reaches over to set the guitar aside and you feel your eyebrows involuntarily raise at how it causes his robe to pull open slightly, exposing even more of his bare chest. His dark chest hair is already a tempting invitation to touch but the gold medallion resting between his pecs somehow makes him look even broader than usual and you find yourself unable to resist any longer.

You take another hit and scoot closer to your boyfriend, brushing the hair out of his eyes as he leans over his writing. “Hi,” you coo innocently, placing the joint between his lips, letting him take a puff before you return it to your own mouth.

“Hi,” he responds, simultaneously suspicious and amused as he watches you reach for the ashtray. “What’s up?”

You bat your eyelashes coyly, running your hand through his curls and down to cradle the base of his neck. “Nothin’... just like watchin’ you.”

He smiles sweetly, clearly basking in your attention. He plants a playful kiss on your lips before pulling away to laugh, “I almost said ‘good thing I like being watched’ but that sounds like a conversation for a different time.”

Surprise and desire light up your eyes as you pull him in by the collar of his colorful robe. “OK, so we’re definitely revisiting this topic,” you giggle naughtily. You don’t mean to kiss him with the full force of the hunger you’re feeling, you meant to play it cool for a little while longer but it’s hard not to get carried away when you’re with him. He meets your energy, tongue playing with yours as his fingers nimbly unfasten the buttons of your shirt, making room for him to slide his hands inside to paw at your breasts; your hands dip inside his robe, rubbing at his defined chest, brushing through the hair you’d been so eager to touch.

Your hands eventually travel further down and you chuckle as it dawns on you that you don’t feel the waistband of his underwear. “Excuse me, sir, are you seriously out here naked under this robe?” You cackle, tugging at the belt until the fit loosens so you can explore more.

Ashton shrugs, proudly declaring, “Just tryin’ to be one with nature.”

“Hey, I thought the cold was supposed to make guys smaller,” you joke as you let your fingers graze his cock.

He replies with a smirk, “Well that clearly doesn’t account for those who have their gorgeous beyond belief girlfriend with them.”

The grin you’ve been wearing is so wide by now, your face almost hurts. “Well played, sir. Well played,” you nod, shifting down the couch to position yourself on your knees, between his legs.

“We should also revisit the topic of you calling me ‘sir’,” he quips, his laugh turning to a groan as you open the robe fully and dip down to roll your tongue over the head of his cock.

He starts, “Baby…” but never finishes the thought, the rest of his words swallowed in the deep breath he takes while he watches you ghost your lips up and down his shaft, the both of you relishing the feeling of him growing harder as you work. He presses back into the pillow resting against the arm of the couch and softly runs a hand through your hair, letting his touch tell you how much he appreciates you.

Your eyes flit up to meet his when your lips close around him and glide down his length. You both keep eye contact as your warm mouth begins moving up and down, until you close your eyes to concentrate on taking more of him but even then, you can feel his gaze steady on you, his attention focused on every bob of your head and swirl of your tongue. You hear him sigh your name as he hits the back of your throat before you sloppily pull back up, letting your spit fall freely, dripping onto his cock, making him shiny and wet for you.

You lock eyes with Ash again as you lift your head, stopping to suck at his tip, making sure to exaggeratedly pout your lips to emphasize how wide you have to open your mouth to accommodate his size. Judging from his glassy-eyed, slack-jawed expression, it’s no surprise to you when his lips move as if he intends to praise you but no sound emerges. Leaving Ashton speechless - especially during sex - is no small feat and you feel both pride and confidence surge through you as you pull off with a loud pop to address him.

“Seems like you’re a fan of watching me too, aren’t you, babe?” You tease, pumping him slowly.

He blinks rapidly, as if the process will reset his weed and lust clouded mind. He finally gives a chuckle of your name as he lolls his head back. “Just look so fuckin’ amazing when you take me,” he purrs dreamily. “Can’t keep my eyes off you. Love watching you be so good to me.”

His compliment immediately stokes the fire in you and you don’t want to waste another second not pleasing him. “Well then, you’ll definitely love seeing this,” you promise. You brace your hands on his thighs as you lower your mouth on his cock again, this time determined to take him into your throat as much as you possibly can.

“Jesus, love,” he whimpers as you sink further and further on him. You flutter your tongue while you work him down and out of the corner of your eye, you see his fist clenching the material of his robe as he fights the urge to thrust into your mouth. “So fucking good, baby…”

You reach your limit and start to come back up, lungs burning as you repress your need to breathe in favor of maintaining a heavy suction on his cock while you pull off. As soon as your lips are off him, Ashton’s hands are on you, holding you as you pant, pulling you up to him.

“C’mere,” he coaxes, thumbs tenderly wiping at the tears on your cheeks and the drool on your chin. His lips peck at your neck as you catch your breath and as he moves in to finally slot his lips with yours, you hear the breathy “good girl” your mind has been craving.

“I’m not done yet,” you quietly protest against his lips.

His teeth tug at your bottom lip as he pulls away. “I know,” he grins. His hands travel down your back, slipping inside your pajama pants to squeeze your ass. “You were just making me feel so good, I was getting impatient to show you my appreciation.”

“Well… that’s fair,” you say with an air of mock arrogance before melting with a half-moan, half-laugh as he nips at your skin.

“Can I take these off?” He asks, hooking his thumbs inside the waistbands of your pants and underwear. You nod and the two of you fumble and giggle trying to undress your bottom half; you’re finally freed of the offending clothes and Ash lets his hands roam your bare ass as he gives you a kiss that’s somehow both calming and frantic in its passion. You gasp into his mouth as he brings his hand between your legs, gently tracing through your wetness. He rasps, “Yeah… I thought so, baby… knew my girl was needing some attention.”

You quietly whine and rock against his hand, wrestling with your desire to finish the blowjob but now also tempted to seek out your own orgasm as soon as possible. “Always need this kind of attention from you,” you admit, sighing as he leans forward to bury his face inside your shirt, mouthing over your tits.

He kisses you, wild with need, before looking up at you with fire in his eyes. “I have an idea if you’re up for trying something?”

You agree with a cautious laugh and then Ashton is helping you to turn around so that you’re straddling him but facing away. About halfway through following his direction, a switch flips inside your brain and you realize what he’s suggesting. You eagerly get yourself into position, propping yourself up on your hands over his crotch while you scoot the rest of your body down until you feel his breath between your legs.

“Good girl,” he praises in a quiet voice, deepening with desire.

“This experiment is gonna be over pretty quick if you keep calling me that,” you crack, reaching for his cock. He laughs, giving a playful slap to your ass. You laugh with him, “Or if you keep doing that.”

He chuckles, using his hands to encourage your body down within range of his face. He tentatively rubs his scruff around your inner thighs while you test your position by pressing chaste kisses to his balls. He checks in, “Comfortable, baby?”

“Except for when I think about the extreme close-up view you're getting of my asshole right now," you joke.

"Another topic we’ll revisit at a later date," he cackles, massaging your cheeks.

“Oh my god,” you laugh at his comment. Before you’re done giggling, he flattens his tongue and gives a long lick up your pussy. You groan out a surprised but relieved, “Oh my god.”

He continues, humming happily as he licks, nips and sucks at you, exploring how to best please you in this angle and position. You admit you were skeptical about this at first but as you subtly roll your hips over his face while you sink your mouth down on his cock, you think to yourself that your boyfriend might be a genius.

You easily find a rhythm with each other, communicating through murmurs and muffled sighs and you quickly get lost in pleasuring each other. Ash’s tongue diligently licks away at you while yours runs along the underside of his cock as you bob up and down. He’s the first to pull away, moaning your name loudly when you pull up and start lapping sloppily around his tip.

“Mmm, baby… that’s… yeah,” he rambles, letting out a long breath as your hand starts lightly working over his balls.

Ashton regains his composure and continues his efforts, teasing your entrance before moving towards your clit with a slow drag of his tongue. He flicks over it a few times before fitting it between his lips and sucking gently. He increases the pressure, buzzing appreciatively and you’re not sure if he’s responding to your taste or the work you’re doing on him but the shiver it sends down your spine has you whining around him.

“Ash…” You sound desperate and slightly unlike yourself but the way he’s eating you feels too good for you to worry with self-consciousness. “God, keep… that… that, like that.”

He follows your jumbled instructions, fingers digging into the skin of your thighs as he struggles to hold your bucking hips still above him. You breathe deep to steady yourself before you take his cock into your mouth again, moving down his length in time with the strokes of his tongue on your clit.

Your head spins as the entire situation threatens to overwhelm your senses: the cool morning air raising goosebumps on your exposed body while the bright sun and constant touch of Ashton’s hands work in tandem to warm your skin. The taste of the precum steadily leaking onto your tongue, the muted groans of praise coming from the man underneath you. The feeling of your body rocking back and forth, grinding against his face while sliding your mouth on his length, your mind on fire from both receiving and giving pleasure.

You pull off to lick up and down the sides of his cock, needing a moment to catch your breath but also needing to keep tasting him, keep pleasing him, keep hearing him fall apart for you. Ash’s tongue picks up speed, fluttering over your clit so rapidly you can’t do anything but bury your face in his thigh and moan.

“I know, I know, love… taste so sweet, baby, I feel like I can’t get enough,” he praises, pecking at your pussy softly. He rubs the small of your back soothingly, watching you try your hardest to keep stroking him despite being so close to the edge yourself. “Your hands always feel so nice on me, baby… make me feel so fucking good.”

You visibly perk back up from his compliments. “Always want you to feel so good, Ash… you deserve it,” you huff against his leg, hand determined to keep working him. “Always make me feel incredible… you should feel that way too… love being the one who gets to do it.”

He kisses your legs sweetly, loving your half-stoned, half-love-drunk ramblings. “No one else could ever make me feel like you do,” he declares. He gives your ass a squeeze before asking, “Think you’re ready to cum with me, baby?”

You let out a weak but agreeable mewl and right yourself, raising your head over him again. Your brain tries to formulate a sexy reply or a flirty joke but all you can think about is how badly you want to feel his tongue on you again, how you can’t wait to taste his cum splashing into your mouth. These thoughts swirl around your head as you lean in to swirl your tongue around the head of Ash’s cock. The whine it earns you from him is so viscerally satisfying to you, you briefly wonder if you might beat him to the finish line right now this second.

Your hands and mouth work over Ash while he resumes worshiping you with his tongue; he tightly grips your ass, pressing you further down onto his face, completely burying himself in your pussy. The wide surface of his tongue lavishes over every sensitive inch of you and as his lips close over your clit, you feel that familiar fire starting to build in your belly. You hollow your cheeks, doubling your efforts on him, determined to push him over the edge first. In an inspired moment, you decide to carefully run your nails over his inner thighs, knowing he might appreciate the surprisingly sharp feeling. You hear his muffled reaction from behind you and when you press down just a little bit harder, you feel his cock jump on your tongue.

The both of you expertly work each other’s bodies, tirelessly sending the other barreling towards their release until finally it’s as if time slows down, allowing you to feel everything happening at once. Your hips jerk over his face and you feel the pleasure start rippling through your core. Ashton groans against you as his cock begins pulsing, flooding your mouth with his cum, the vibrations of his outburst amplifying the sensations of your own climax. Your brain and body feel overloaded with stimulation as you try to concentrate on swallowing all that he’s giving you while still losing yourself in the endless waves of your orgasm.

The intertwined sounds of your combined satisfaction eventually fade into blended gasps and pants and you feel Ash tenderly stroking the backs of your thighs as your upper body suddenly goes slack, your head falling onto the couch, exhausted. He sweetly pecks over your skin for a beat, letting you have a moment before gently tapping your leg, saying, “Come kiss me.”

You smile into the couch cushion at the simplicity of his request; the joy that washes over you in that moment gives you the strength you need to pick your body back up and turn yourself around to lay on his chest.

“There’s my girl,” he coos, gathering the fallen sides of the robe he’s wearing and wrapping them around you, cocooning you to him. You press your lips to his and neither of you comment on how the taste of one another lingers on each other’s tongues but the revelation is so simultaneously filthy and intimate, you feel absolutely intoxicated by the time the kiss is finished.

You look at him, dazed smile on your face. “That was…”

You can’t find the words to describe it but he agrees nonetheless. “Definitely.”

“I forgive you for leaving me alone in a cold bed,” you tease.

He cackles loudly. “Oh? Never would’ve guessed.”

That blend of goofy tenderness becomes the brand of the day. You finally make it off the couch and inside to share a more substantial meal and a hot shower. After checking the forecast, Ashton excitedly shares that the inclement weather isn’t scheduled to hit until late night, so you decide to make a quick trip down to the store for a few things you’d wished you’d bought yesterday.

You’re steering the cart towards the parking lot when, just like your previous trip, Ash tosses you the key, saying he has to go back for something.

“We don’t have room for another Christmas tree, Ash,” you tease.

He mockingly repeats your joke before kissing your cheek and taking off in the opposite direction. There’s only a few bags to load into the trunk this time so you’re all packed up before he makes it back. You lock up and turn to push the basket towards the return aisle at the end of the row when you see Ashton emerge from the store holding a bouquet of roses. You feel your face warm instantly and you stop, holding onto the cart tightly to collect yourself. You realize you’re swooning as you watch him, looking sleek in his long trench coat and boots, bright smile adorning his face as he joyfully brings you fresh flowers for seemingly no reason, and it hits you that you've lost track of how many times he’s made you literally weak in the knees.

You finish putting the cart away and you start towards him, figuring you’ll meet him halfway. He spots you when he makes it onto your row and smoothly moves his hands behind his back to obscure the gift but as you get closer, he reads your expression and accepts defeat.

He laughs and calls out, “You saw already, didn’t you?”

You grin, nodding sheepishly. “Didn’t mean to but you caught my attention… so unlike me, I know,” you giggle, skipping your steps a little to get to him faster.

As soon as he’s within reach, you wrap your arms around his neck and bring him down to your lips, unwilling to wait another second to show him your appreciation. He happily reciprocates your affection and holds you tightly to him with one arm as he pulls away to give you the flowers.

“I don’t know… I saw these on our way out and thought you should have them,” he shrugs, almost blushing and it’s so adorable you’re having a hard time not immediately interrupting him for another kiss. “Think they’d look nice on the nightstand on your side of the bed.”

“They’re perfect,” you gush, gleefully inhaling their sweet scent. “And you’re not so bad either.”

The rest of the afternoon is lazy and comfortable. The two of you head back out to the deck and hang out in blissful silence: Ash occasionally strumming his guitar but mainly writing in his journal, you busy with the holiday needlepoint kit you bought at the market because it seemed like a cabin-y activity to try and you figured you could send the finished product home to your parents.

When it gets a bit too cold to stay outside, you help Ash move and cover the patio furniture for the storm and start discussing dinner. He picks out a record to play and gets the fireplace going while you throw some soup on the stove because it’s easy and sounds cozy on such a chilly night. You eat and talk and when you’re done eating, you sit at the table and talk some more. Since you cooked, he suggests you go relax by the fire and he’ll tackle the clean up; you put on another album, grab your needlepoint and a blanket and stretch out on the couch.

He comes into the living room a while later, carefully carrying two mugs of hot cocoa and the bag of mini marshmallows you bought earlier. “Didn’t know how many you’d want,” he explains, dropping the bag in your lap as he sets the mugs on the coffee table in front of you. You murmur your thanks as you curl your legs under you so he can sit down. After a short but heated debate over the proper amount of marshmallows that belong in a serving of hot chocolate, you sit quietly and enjoy the fire together.

Ashton gets up to throw another log in the fireplace. He looks back at you, snug on the couch with your project and smiles, asking thoughtfully, "Do you think you could ever live like this?”

“Is this a romantic ‘what if’ scenario about the two of us specifically or like a value based, practical conversation?”

He laughs, lifting your legs and setting them in his lap as he sits back down. “Practical.”

You take a sip, thinking. “I don’t know… I love how quiet it is up here, love how remote it is, how removed it feels from everything. Obviously it's gorgeous. But I definitely feel like there are things about ‘city life’ that I'm not sure I'd be able to give up.”

“OK, see, that’s the thing - I feel like I should be embarrassed saying this but… I like the city?" He says, with equal parts passion and incredulity. "I like that anything you want is so readily accessible at any time, I like meeting dozens of new people everyday, I like getting bored at 10pm on a Saturday night and knowing I’ll always be able to find somewhere to go and it’s anybody’s guess if it’s going to be a worthwhile endeavor but goddamn, good or bad, it’s gonna be memorable… No two nights are ever the same in LA and I find that beautiful.”

You rub over his arm, fondly, enjoying his passion. “I feel the same way, if I’m really honest with myself. It’s like the simplicity here is quaint to us now because we're not used to it and we know we’re only going to be here so long. But once the novelty wore off, that monotony would be a tough adjustment for some people."

He plays with the hem of your sweats. “But I think I would like to get to the point where I don't feel like I need those other things. Where I could sustain a life out here, or somewhere like this. Something pure, something free… more natural, I guess.”

“I think you could, you’re very resourceful and adaptable and very at peace with yourself," you muse, nudging him. "I think you’d be able to recreate those 'city' experiences or find something that gives you those same feelings out here on your own.”

“Doesn’t necessarily have to be on my own,” he points out, nudging you back.

You tease, “You really think being in my presence is on the same level of thrills as living in the city?”

“I mean, you’re pretty cool, baby, but I was actually talking about moving Calum out here with me,” he zings, howling as you jab your foot into his side.

You get up to take your mugs to the kitchen and when you come back, he’s still pensively looking at the fire. You sit beside him, spreading your blanket out over the both of you and he resumes the conversation, chuckling, “I was actually meant to spend most of the summer out here. Wanted to give myself kind of a test run, see how long I could make it. Until I met someone who made me rethink the pros of city life." He winks at you, reaching for your hand.

You laugh, squeezing his fingers. “That's sweet, Ash, but let’s not gloss over the fact you were also recording an album with your band that required you to be in the city too.”

He shakes his head vehemently. “Nah, my summer project was gonna be converting the attic into a studio so we could at least lay down demos here,” he shares. “That’s why Cal and I spent that week up here right before we met, we were taking pictures and planning.”

You sit all the way up, staring at him in disbelief. “So you’re saying you fully intended to spend the entire summer in the mountains, renovating your cabin so you could live and work out here and just because you happened to meet some random girl at a party, you scrapped the whole thing and stayed in the city just to hang out?”

He giggles, kissing your temple. “I wouldn’t put it like that - things just kept getting put off because I kept finding other ways to spend my time that interested me more.” Your shocked expression doesn’t waver and the grin he's wearing only seems to grow wider, dimples sinking even deeper into his cheeks.

You shake your head. “Can’t decide if that means you were crazy about me or just plain crazy.”

He shrugs, pulling you closer. “Why not both?”

In the morning you roll over and are pleased to discover your boyfriend still sleeping next to you. While the thought of snuggling into him and drifting back off to sleep is immensely appealing, you decide you have a better idea. You ease out of bed and down to the kitchen where you start preparing eggs, bacon and coffee for the both of you. You hum quietly to yourself as you cook, happy to be able to do something for Ashton since so much of this trip has been about him treating you.

The meal is cooling on the counter and you’re standing at the sink rinsing the last frying pan when you feel the fuzzy fabric of Ash’s robe brush your skin and his arms slink around you. A shiver runs down your body as his scruff tickles your skin as he buries his face in your neck and grumbles, “You’re right, it gets fuckin’ cold in that bed.”

“Sorry, babe,” you sing song, reaching behind you to scratch at his beard, which is filling in nicely. “Wanted breakfast to be a surprise.”

His deep, scratchy morning voice teases, “What if I wanted to eat somethin’ a little sweeter for breakfast?” and he nibbles along your neck while his hands run down your body before tugging at the drawstring on your sweatpants.

A naughty grin spreads across your face and you close your eyes for a beat to enjoy the work Ash’s tongue is doing behind your earlobe. You don’t know if you’ll ever get over the fact that he’s as hungry for you as you are for him. “Play your cards right and you might be able to have dessert for lunch.” You dry your hands with a dish towel and spin around in his hold to face him.

You fling your arms around his neck and he lets out something between a sleepy sigh and a growl when you move in for a kiss. “Love when we compromise,” he jokes against your lips. You communicate silently with your tongues for a moment before he pulls back to coo, “Merry Christmas Eve, baby.”

Breakfast is a bit rushed because Ashton wants to hurry outside to take pictures with you in the fresh snow before the weather gets too crazy. But he’s sure to give your thoughtful gesture its due, exaggeratedly moaning at every bite and offering you multiple hyperbolic compliments during the meal. You stand up to clear the table but he objects, dragging you to the bedroom to get dressed, promising he’ll clean it all himself once you come back inside from seeing the snow.

You know it’s pointless to push back when he’s this determined about something plus it is pretty cute how excited he is, so you humor him, quickly pulling on some leggings. By the time you’re slipping one of his hoodies over your head, he’s already headed out the sliding door to find the best place to set his phone up on the deck railing.

“You want me to grab your coat for you?” You poke your head out the door and ask, puzzled by his choice to go out in just his henley and jeans.

Ash shakes his head. “Nah, we won’t be out here long,” he insists, blissfully unconcerned by the temperature despite his breath instantly forming a frosty cloud in front of him as he speaks.

You skeptically watch him shuffle around the deck for a few more seconds before you pull the door shut behind you. “Babe, you don’t even have your boots tied! We’re not gonna get snowed out in the 30 seconds that’ll take, come on,” you laugh, tugging on his hand.

He lifts your hand to his mouth, pecking it softly, giggling as you yank it away when his cold nose brushes your skin. “I will, baby, I will,” he promises while making a beeline for the stairs leading off the side of the deck. “I just need to check…”

You can only guess what the last part of that sentence is because suddenly he’s disappeared from view with a surprised yelp and you hurry over to the edge of the deck, peering over just in time to see him roll onto his back, laughing hysterically. Judging by the amount of snow shaking out of his beard as he laughs, you make the assumption that he did a full face plant. Stifling your own laughter, you grab his phone off the rail and snap a handful of photos of the spectacle, which only makes him laugh even harder.

“Slippery?” You call down to him with a grin.

Ashton shrugs, laughter still rattling through him. “Slippery, missed a step, should’ve put my shoes on right.”

“Ah, the trifecta,” you tease, making your way down to him.

“Just trying to make this trip as memorable as possible for you,” he jokes. You start making your way down to him and you can’t help but feel soft about the quiet “Careful, baby” he warns you with as he watches you descend the stairs.

You stand over him and he cackles as you click a few more choice pictures. “Come on, baby, help me up,” he requests, casting a hilariously dramatic pout on his face to sell his plight.

“Just one more thing,” you reply before plopping yourself into the snow next to him.

He gasps your name as you settle in next to him, stretching your arms out to take selfies of the two of you in the snow. “Baby, no,” he protests, fussing over the way your sweatshirt has ridden up and exposed your skin to the cold. “We don’t need to both be shaking and wet.”

“Thought you preferred me that way,” you tease, pecking his cheek for one last picture. “Besides, I’m a loyal gal. Stand by your man and all that.”

“Or lay down in the snow by your man?”

“Exactly,” you laugh with him, happily letting him lead you into a sweet kiss.

Although you ostensibly came down to aid his fall, Ash easily gets back on his feet and extends a hand to you, pulling you up alongside him. Even though he’s notably more snow covered than you are, he still instinctively brings you in, rubbing his hands up and down your arms, trying in vain to warm you up.

“You’re basically a popsicle trying to warm up an ice cube, babe,” you laugh, teeth slightly chattering towards the end of your sentence.

He snorts, conceding defeat, and takes your hand, leading you past the deck - presumably to avoid the slippery stairs that led to this predicament - and around the house to the front door.

“Off,” he commands, tugging at your wet clothes as soon as you get inside. He quickly yanks his henley up over his shoulders, steps out of his pants and heads further into the house, moving too fast for you to get a flirty joke out about his advice. You strip down to your underwear and follow him into the living room, where he’s adjusting the fireplace, completely naked.

“I’m gonna selfishly ask you to be careful over there,” you giggle, annoyed that your voice sounds so shaky because of how cold you are.

Your obvious shivering catches his attention and he shifts his gaze over to you. He frowns, gesturing at your bra and panties. “Aww, baby… get those off too and come stand by the fire.” He grabs the flannel blanket off the couch and drapes it over your back, using it to pull your now naked body against his. “I’ll grab us some sweats and something hot to drink in a few, just wanna get us both situated.”

Ashton holds you tight against him, rubbing over your arms just like he did outside, his efforts much more effective with the aid of the roaring fire. Finally warm enough to drop your arms from around yourself, you slide them around his waist, instantly noting how cold and damp his back still is.

“Ash…” You pout, struggling with the blanket around you, fruitlessly trying to pull it to reach more of his body. You offer, “Let’s get another blanket, babe, get you covered too.”

“I’m fine, baby, want you warm first,” he insists, emphasizing his point by rubbing your arms faster.

“Ash, you’re not fine, you’re standing here with your entire ass out.”

“Thought you preferred me that way.”

You can’t help but crack up at both his joke and his stubbornness. You shake your head and sigh, “I love you.”

The words hang in the air and though you said them, you seem to hear them at the same time he does and the two of you freeze and look at each other, wide eyed. You’ve had that thought many times and even considered saying it out loud once or twice but you were never sure if the time was right. You can’t fathom why your brain decided that now, arguing over a blanket while you’re naked and freezing, was the right time for you to blurt it out, but what’s done is done.

It’s only been a moment but the silence feels endless and you’re dying to fill it. You laugh nervously and stammer, mind racing faster than your mouth can speak. “Well. Um. I… uh… I mean…”

Ashton appears to be speechless - an event you’ve only seen happen one or two times since you’ve known him - but he sees the panic on your face and he subtly shakes his head, snapping himself back to reality. He squeezes your hands and brings them to his lips to kiss them sweetly. “Baby… I love you… have for a while,” he says with a soft, reassuring voice and smile to match.

A wave of relief rushes over you, though you’re not quite sure why. You were sure Ash loved you - you feel it every day in the way he smiles at you, the way he cares for you, the way he kisses you - and you were confident your confession wasn’t a surprise to him either. But saying those words and hearing them repeated back still feels monumental. You find yourself overwhelmed and you toss your arms around his neck, pulling him into a passionate kiss. He immediately reciprocates, squeezing you tight to him, humming approvingly.

With your arms around each other, the blanket covering you inevitably falls to the ground but neither of you notice, warmed by the other’s embrace. It’s not until he pulls back to cradle your face that he deduces your trembling is likely due to the temperature instead of emotion.

He sympathetically sighs your name, pecking your lips once more before pulling back to grab more pillows and blankets from the couch, making a quick makeshift bed by the fire. “C’mere, baby,” he coos.

You join him on the ground, crawling under the blanket he’s holding open for you and settling onto your side, snuggling against his chest. He wraps the flannel material and then his arms around you, pressing silly wet smooches around your face before landing one on your lips, which you waste no time in deepening. You kiss lazily for a few moments, still processing everything that just happened but with each kiss, confirming the sentiments that you just expressed to each other.

Ash is the first to finally break away, breathing deep, stroking your hair back as he smiles at you. You smile back, scratching at his beard. “I love you,” you repeat, confidently this time. You laugh, “I’ve stopped myself from saying it so many times, I guess I just couldn’t keep it in anymore.”

He grins, sweetly replying, “I love you too… can’t say this is quite how I imagined telling you but…”

You interject with a giggle, “Oh? And how often would you imagine professing your love for me?”

“Hmm… just about every fucking day the past few months,” he shrugs, with a good natured smile, knowing you’re teasing him but insistent on being sincere. “Probably since you came to that first show and I saw how naturally, how easily you fit in with all the other parts of my life that I love.”

You pout, kissing him because you don’t know how else to respond. You murmur against his lips, “Well. Naked by the fire is pretty romantic. Weird context, but still.”

“Anywhere with you is a dream come true, baby.”

You sigh and bury your face in his chest, suddenly needing to feel engulfed by him. He wraps himself around you, warming you, loving you. He tugs your hair after a moment, raising your head to look at him. He doesn’t say the phrase again but you can see it as clear as the hazel in his eyes. He loves you. You place your hands on either side of his face and deliver a slow but quietly heated kiss to his lips.

Ashton’s touch begins to wander, appreciating the convenience of your already naked body. His hands untangle from your hair and move tantalizingly slow down your back to grip your ass before caressing over your sides to palm your breasts. He pinches and rolls your nipple between his fingers, leaving you moaning into his mouth; you return the favor, rubbing over his chest and he moans similarly. You feel his cock swelling against your stomach and you instantly ache for it.

“Ash,” you breathe, stroking him gently.

He nips at your jaw, groaning. “I know, baby,” he soothes, pulling your leg over his hip. “Need you too.” He runs his hand through your wetness and coats his cock with it, his fingers grazing yours, the both of you working to ready him for you. He grips your waist as you bring his tip to your entrance and gently push him inside.

“Ashton,” you sigh in relief, grabbing onto his shoulder as you continue to take him. He slowly starts rocking against you and you let out a series of low moans in sync with his movements. “Feels so good, babe… so good. I love it.”

“Love you,” he insists, grabbing your ass, trying to get you closer. “Nothing better than being in you, baby. ‘S where I belong.”

Mind and body both overwhelmed, a needy whimper pours from your throat. “Ash… need you like this all the time,” you pant, clinging to him while he picks up the pace. “Never felt like this with anyone. Not just this, I mean… I don’t think I’ve ever felt this much for someone.”

There’s so much more you could say but every thought in your mind has been replaced by a seemingly endless chant of Ashton, Ashton, Ashton. How well he’s filling you, how adoringly he’s looking at you, how desperately he’s rasping your name. His lips on your neck, his thumb on your clit, his fingers gripping your thigh as he raises your leg higher, trying to thrust into you deeper. It’s all too much and your nails drag down his back as your orgasm starts to overtake you.

“Yes, baby, yes,” he encourages, keeping his rhythm steady. “Let me feel it, love. That’s it.” You cry out and he groans alongside you as you squeeze around him. He holds you tight, fucking you through your climax and shortly after, you feel his back muscles tensing underneath your grip; before you have a chance to react, he’s whining your name and his cock is pulsing inside you. He buries his face in your neck as he cums and you soothingly stroke his hair as he relaxes against you. You lay in silence, holding each other in the afterglow, letting your pounding hearts speak to each other, saying all the words you can’t seem to find.

After a hot shower, a cuddly nap and a dinner that the two of you prepare together, you spend the evening drinking cocoa on the couch, the living room illuminated only by the fire and the Christmas tree lights. You trade stories of past holiday memories and share a few dreams for future ones, ones Ashton’s now more confident than ever that you'll be spending together.

The howling wind of the snowstorm wakes you early the next morning; another gust hits, rattling the bedroom’s sliding glass door. Your boyfriend stirs, mumbling something incoherent but clearly concerned.

“Think that’s the sound of a White Christmas, babe,” you chuckle sleepily, reaching over to rub at his bearded cheek.

“Ooh, that’ll be nice,” he mutters. He moves your hand to his lips, smooching it before turning you on your side so he can spoon you.

His warmth - physical and emotional - surrounds you as his arms envelop you and he mumbles sweet nothings against your hair. He shifts closer and the happy hum you’re emitting becomes a suggestive whine as you feel his morning wood nudging your ass. “This a stocking stuffer for me?” You joke, wiggling against him.

“Never too early for a little Christmas cheer,” he giggles, pressing into you more. His voice is heavy with sleep, his joyful laugh octaves lower than it usually is and it makes you feel like you’re on fire.

“Little is definitely not the word I’d use, babe,” you laugh, yawning through it as you turn over. You look at him, eyes tired but hungry. “You wanna?” You grip him through his flannel pajama pants, groaning quietly when you feel how rock hard he is. You love having him in the morning, it quite literally hits different.

“Baby,” he rasps, grabbing your wrist before you add any more pressure. “Always yes but also no, it’s so fuckin’ early… let’s sleep a little more. Soak in the tub together later.”

He leans in and kisses you with a heat that feels contrary to the plan he just laid out. You bite his lip as he pulls away. “Want you now, though,” you murmur, palming him again, just because you love the feeling of him hard, even if it wasn’t your doing.

Ash smiles knowingly. “My girl feeling needy this morning?” You nod with a playful pout that he plants a kiss directly onto. He turns you back onto your side and aligns his erection with your backside again. “Could just slip in while we lay here…”

“Yes,” you cut him off, not needing to hear any more details. He chuckles at your eagerness as he reaches for the bag on the nightstand and you hurriedly pull down your pajamas and underwear. The slick sounds of him spreading lube on his cock riles you up to the point that you look over your shoulder and half-jokingly state, “Babe, if I have to keep listening to that, we’re not gonna need lube anymore.”

He snorts, giving your ass swat before settling in behind you. “Need it that bad, huh?” You nod, proudly owning your desire. His tip nudges between your legs and you bite your lip in anticipation. His fingers dig into your hips as he slides in and the two of you moan together as he moves deeper and deeper until he’s fully inside you. You both adjust and get comfortable and once you stop squirming, he checks in, “How’s that feel, love?”

“Full,” you answer dreamily. He nuzzles the back of your neck, sliding his hands underneath your sweatshirt, one carressing your tummy, the other grabbing your breast. You let your head fall back against him and you close your eyes, focusing on the satisfying but grounding feeling of his cock inside you: thick, rigid, undeniable but undemanding. His warm hands on your body, his lips grazing your skin, how his breath syncs with yours as you relax in the stillness of each other. You’re almost caught up by how much emotion you suddenly feel so you just offer him a quiet, “Love you.”

“Love you, baby,” he answers, soft and slow, smiling as he feels you relax in his arms as you drift back to sleep.

You wake up alone a few hours later but before the disappointment has a chance to sink in, Ash is walking through the door with a steaming hot mug of coffee for you.

“Merry Christmas, love!” He greets you cheerily. He sets the cup on the nightstand next to your flowers and leans down to kiss you. “Didn’t want to wake you until I had the fire going out there, something warm for you to drink.”

“Sweet of you,” you pout, pulling him down for another kiss before you take a sip. “What should we make for breakfast?”

“Started some French toast already, thought I’d wait until you were up and around before I put the bacon on so we could eat it crispy,” he reports, beaming at you. You smile back, hearts surely shooting out of your eyes, he’s so cute when he’s excited.

The excitement continues when you join him in the kitchen a few minutes later, after you’re clothed and caffeinated. The Christmas music pouring from the stereo is easily drowned out by the gleeful sing-song of your name he lets out when he sees you approaching. You head for the cabinet, figuring you’ll set the table but Ashton steps away from the stove as soon as you’re within reach, pulling you into a bear hug and smothering your face with kisses.

“You’re touchy today,” you comment, ruffling his hair as he moves back to attend to the food.

“Says the woman who refused to go back to sleep without the aid of my dick,” he teases, reaching back over to give your ass a light smack.

You watch him carefully plate the food and carry it over to the table, where he’s already set your gifts for each other by your placemats. He comes back to the stove and you press your face into his back, placing a kiss between his shoulders. “This all smells delicious, babe. Everything you’ve done for me this week has been so sweet and special and I wanna make sure you know I appreciate it.”

He turns around and answers simply with a smile. “It’s a special time and I’m glad I get to spend it with you.”

You’re halfway through breakfast when you can tell he starts getting antsy about the gift exchange; you’re not sure if it’s nerves or impatience but to be honest, you’re surprised he held out even this long.

“Maybe three cups of coffee before noon wasn’t the best idea for today,” you crack, stilling his bouncing knee.

“Slow day for me,” he jokes, flashing you a sweet but apologetic smile.

You decide to cut him a break and you scarf down your last few bites so you can take the plates to the sink and quickly wipe the table down, ensuring sure your gifts are safe from any syrupy stickiness.

“Do you want to go first?” You offer, handing him the big box on the table addressed to him.

His eyes light up but he tries to play it cool, responding, “Whatever you’d like, baby.”

You sit back and giggle as he oohs and aahs over the wrapping before he tears into the package. He uncovers a plain brown shipping box and makes a big show of weighing it in his hands, shaking it around to see if he can detect what’s inside. He finally opens it, digging through the tissue paper to pull out a vinyl record with a photo of Los Angeles on the cover. He doesn’t recognize the picture so he turns the album over to investigate the track listing and your heart melts at the way his face softens when he sees the back cover art is a photo collage of your past six months together. Pictures he’s taken of you, you’ve taken of him, pictures of you two together, pictures of places you’ve been. His eyes drift to the track listing and he quickly recognizes the selections are of the same theme, highlighting moments of your time together.

“These songs!” He says in awe, reading it over. “How did you even pick these?”

“It was hard to whittle it down so that it all fit on one record. But there were certain songs I knew had to be on our soundtrack,” you answer with a grin. You get out of your seat and kneel next to his, pointing to some tracks. “These are ones I remember watching you rehearse endlessly in your basement over the summer. And these are from that playlist you were obsessed with the first few times we went out.”

“Oh yeah,” he laughs, remembering. He points to another song. “We slow danced to this while I was waiting to get called to the press line at Global Citizen.”

“Mmm hmm,” you confirm, touched he remembers. You run your finger down three titles. “These are from the records you found at that thrift shop we went to and you insisted I come back to your place to listen and that night was --”

“The first time we had sex,” he finishes the memory, smiling. “This first track… did we talk about that song the night we met?”

You nod happily. “Some other song was playing at the party and we couldn’t decide what it reminded us of. You figured it out and played it for me on your phone.”

“Wow,” Ashton sighs, staring at the song titles, snapshot memories of your relationship flashing in his mind. “This is incredible, baby. It’s so thoughtful… I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t need to say anything, then,” you say softly, sitting up to draw him into a tender kiss. “Music just sounds different… better ever since I met you.”

“Baby,” he breathes, quickly kissing you again. He clears his throat and you detect a slight break in his voice as he offers a soft “Thank you.”

You squeeze his leg and move back to your seat, overjoyed by his reaction. You’re curious to know what’s inside the pretty package with your name on it but you want to give him as much time as he needs to process all that he’s feeling right now, so you sip your coffee and watch as he continues to stare at the custom record.

He finally tears his eyes away from it, announcing, “We're gonna listen to this by the fire.” He scoots your gift closer to you, cooing, “Your turn, my love.”

The gift is so beautifully wrapped, you almost feel bad ripping it open but with Ash’s eager eyes encouraging you, you dive in. You toss the gift wrap aside and lift the lid on the box, finding two thick leather bound journals; as you begin to thumb through the first one, you see Ashton’s handwriting filling about a quarter of the pages and it dawns on you that this is what you’ve seen him writing in all week.

He sees your wheels turning and he begins to explain. “So there’s two parts to this: I wanted to tell you how I felt about some of my favorite memories with you so far. That’s what those pages are.” He leans in and flips to a few pages that are blank, save for some dates scrawled in the corner. “I thought maybe you could write down your thoughts and memories of those same days here. And then if you wanted to, you could share your thoughts about any other days you wanted to remember and give it back to me and I’d write about the days you picked and we could just go back and forth like that.”

“Ash, that’s so sweet,” you start, heart immediately warmed.

“And then,” he continues, picking up the second book. “This one is blank. I have one just like it. I was thinking when I leave for tour, we could write in them a little bit every day and then swap when we get to see each other, so we can kind of catch up.”

“Babe.”

He smiles wistfully. “I know we’ve still got a while. And I know we’ll talk on the phone and I know you’ll visit but… I’m gonna miss being a part of your everyday and you being a part of mine. And maybe this can give us a little of that back. And it’ll be nice to see how different our lives are from day to day but the emotions of missing each other and looking forward to seeing each other, that’s gonna be the same.”

“I think it’s a great idea and I love it and I love you,” you enthuse, setting the box on the table so you can get up and climb into his lap. You wrap your arms around him, hugging him tightly. “I can’t wait to read what you’ve already written.”

He giggles, “Wrapped it last night after you fell asleep but after this morning, I had to crack it back open and add a little more.”

You exaggeratedly drop your jaw in faux shock. “There’s saucy content in my romantic journal?”

He snorts, pinching your ass. “Baby, think about our relationship and tell me how many G-rated memories you think we’ve had.”

“Guess you’re right,” you laugh, stroking your chin, pretending to think. “God, why are you such a slut for me?” He jabs your side as you dramatically try to escape his hold, yelping until he silences your protests with a soft kiss.

Hours later, after the two of you have finally taken successful pictures in the snow, cooked another simple but delicious dinner together and taken that bath he promised you hours ago, you find yourself on the couch once again with a mug of cocoa, watching Ash prod at the fire. He smiles at you before he moves over to the stereo to flip over the record you made him, pulling his cardigan tight around his broad chest.

“It got chilly tonight,” he comments as he shuffles into the kitchen to grab his mug out of the microwave.

You hold your blanket open for him in response and he settles in next to you, tucking the both of you in. You rest your head on his shoulder, watching the fire, listening to the music you fell in love to; though the temperature outside is freezing, you don’t think you’ve ever felt so warm.

The record spins the next song and your mind travels back to Ashton’s car the night of your first kiss. A thought enters your mind and you can’t help but share.

“Do you ever think about what you’d be doing right now if we hadn’t gotten together?”

He strokes your hair tenderly as he considers his response. “I try to go out of my way not to think of scenarios where I’m not with you,” he admits.

“I mean, it’s not my favorite topic either but it crosses my mind sometimes,” you shrug. “I probably would’ve moved back home over the summer. Lockdown was just so hard… I got so lonely and discouraged… felt like I was in freefall. I didn’t really have anything to keep me here, to ground me until I met you.”

He kisses your neck with a tenderness that suggests he believes he can retroactively heal the heartache you felt before he knew you. “I don’t really know where I’d be right now… I’d be trying my best. Like I was before I met you. And my life would have joy, I’d make sure of that. But the kind of peace I feel knowing you, the happiness that comes from my soul being recognized by yours every day that we’re together… I can’t imagine being fulfilled like that without you with me.”

His words hit you like a ton of bricks and you reach for his hand, squeezing it tight as if it’s the only anchor you have to keep you from drowning under the weight of his sentiment. “I wish I could think of a better word to describe it… ‘magical’ seems so trivial. But that’s what it feels like,” you muse. “How many things had to go right and wrong, how many choices we had to make and not make, all for our lives to line up perfectly so that we would meet and end up here? How can that not be magic?”

“I was meant to be on tour this summer,” he says quietly.

“What if I’d moved to LA a year earlier? A year later? Made different friends, friends that didn’t know you?”

“If our album had come out in 2019, like we wanted it to, we probably would’ve been on break when lockdown hit… I might’ve been stuck in Sydney this whole time.”

“Even something as simple as: what if one of us had skipped going to that party? I was still getting used to being social again, I almost didn’t go, I was so nervous.”

“Cal and I had talked about going to the desert that weekend,” he remembers. “At the very last minute, he decided he’d rather wait a week. Weather or something. I was only at that party because I went down my contact list texting around to see who wanted to hang out… I was having a rough time and I didn’t want to be alone, I needed to be out of the house.”

You lift your head to look at him. “You never told me that.”

“Didn’t seem important until now. What if someone else had replied first? What if I’d gotten caught in traffic and got there later? You were on your way out when we introduced ourselves.”

You grin at the memory of that night. “What if you hadn’t been wearing an insane looking pair of pants that made me take notice and stop to ask around about you?”

“What if you hadn’t been the most beautiful human I’d ever seen and I hadn’t decided I needed to know you?”

“Ashton.”

“Listen, I’m just recalling that night from my personal perspective here,” he teases, giving you a peck on the cheek.

You snort, getting back to your point. “Any of those things… if anything had been different, everything could’ve been different.”

“Glad it’s not.”

“Me too.”

Ashton sighs, slinging his arm around you, pulling you into his chest. “Don’t know if we thank the universe or the gods or our own intuition but it seems to me that things happened the way they did because we were meant to have this time together.”

“I agree.”

“All the shit that we had to go through… I’d say it was worth it to get here.”

“I agree.”

“I love you.”

“I agree.”

“Hey!” He protests.

You giggle, snuggling into him closer. “I love you too.”

--------------------------------------

Not entirely sure what my plans are re: continuing to use a taglist (would love to know your thoughts on that as well tbh) so keep your eyes open for future updates on that!

@hoodharlow @mashtonasfuck @pxrxmoore @bxcketbarnes @talkfastromance4 @camelliastreet @itjustkindahappenedreally @saywhatnow07 @mymindwide @suchalonelysunflower @findingliam-o @fedorable-killjoys @trix-arent-for-kids @olivia-foster-irwin @calmsweetcreature @onthecliffside-mgc @feliznavidaddycal @himbohood @maggiesupertramp @karajaynetoday @ashtonangst @sunshineeashton @aladyofalbion @youngblood199456 @calumrose @irwindoll @in-superbloom @2fangirl4u @highstwildflower @bport76 @chamaleonsoul

175 notes · View notes