#i didn't even think that one day i would post something related to my oc

[mint-yooxgi]

{3} - Fight or Flight - Yandere!Redcap!Mingi X Tall!Chubby!Reader

Fae!AU & Yandere!AU - Part of the CoDN Thrill of the Hunt Collab

Genre: Fantasy, Mature, Horror, Angst, Fluff, Smut

Pairing: Mingi X Reader

Words: 9,085

Rating: Mature - 18+ MDNI

Warnings: Please read the warnings carefully, as this is a very heavy story dealing with many dark topics. This is also all of the warnings for this fic as it is one long one shot that I had to split into multiple parts, and I'm too tired right now to individually categorize all of these warnings to their respective parts. 8 ft tall Mingi. Slow burn. Violence: depiction of a massacre, a deer being slaughtered, as well as physical, verbal, sexual, and emotional, both alluded to and not. Blood and gore. Abuse: physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual, both alluded to and implied. Assault: physical, and sexual, both alluded to, implied, and attempted. OC has a really rough past, really this isn't for the faint of heart. Whipping, both alluded to, and done. Mentions of branding. Heavy themes of possession and ownership. Deception. Arson. Really, there's a lot of dark subject matter. Mingi falls hard and fast, thus, he simps a lot for the OC, but it's not a story written by me if Mingi doesn't simp for the OC. The reader is mentioned to be both tall and chubby, but it is not mentioned often, so it shouldn't disrupt the flow of the story when ready if you are not tall and/or chubby. I think that's everything, but if I missed something, please let me know! Smut: Biting/marking, outdoor sex, fingering (fem. rec), oral (fem. rec), hand job (male rec), come eating, overstimulation, Mingi has a dig bick, sex in a spring, really, it's very soft in comparison to the subject matter. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

P.S. If there are any spelling or grammatical errors, please ignore them. I did my best through many rounds of editing, but some are liable to still slip through.

A/n: I am SO sorry this took me LITERALLY forever to complete. I meant to have this out so much earlier, and actually posted on time, but it turned out much, much longer than I ever anticipated it being. I'm really proud of how this story turned out, and I didn't want to split it into multiple parts because I felt it would take away from the story as a whole. I'm super excited for you all to read this one, as I had a tremendous amount of fun writing it, and I really hope you all love Mingi's and OC's journey as much as I do. Huge shoutout and thanks to @anyamaris and @kwanisms for listening to me ramble and rave about this story both before and during the writing process, and for always encouraging me while writing! Also, huge thank you to @sanjoongie for being so patient and understanding with me as I write this all out in full. I hope you all enjoy! As always feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy!~

Summary: Out of one horrible situation and into another, the cycle of abuse never stops. You've lived with monsters your whole life. So, what's one more?

P.P.S. Please don't let this flop guys. If you enjoyed it, please reblog!!!

Mini Masterlist - Part One - Part Two

You were wrong.

Not only is this redcap the most infuriating fae possible, but he has no tact when it comes to handling you. Clearly, he’s never dealt with humans before, and he doesn’t even try to hide it. Every chance he gets, he’s shoving you around, pulling you harshly to your feet and snapping at you to ‘get a move on’ if you’re not moving at a quick enough pace for him.

Gone is the almost surreal atmosphere of peace the morning had brought you. Instead, as evening shifts into night, only irritation seems to fill the silence between the two of you. Whether he’s upset at himself for relating to a human or not is unbeknownst to you. All you do know is that he seems to dislike you more than he did the previous day.

“Are you done yet?” His voice cuts through the gentle sounds of the pond you’re currently bathing in.

Your head turns to stare at his back, noticing he stands a better guard than Windfel ever did. Not once did this fae turn around even to toy with you. Truly, he kept his word about being respectful about this kind of stuff, and for that, you should be grateful. Only, a creeping sense of dread begins to sink into your bones.

Slowly, you begin to make your way out of the pond, not quite feeling as refreshed as you should. The constant pounding of your heart within your chest reminds you that you’re still alive, and as you pull on the new clothes, you cannot keep your hands from shaking.

“Have you finished? I need to wrap your wound.” His arms are crossed over his chest, that much you can tell.

“I can do it myself.” Comes your somewhat sharp reply, looking around for where he put that roll of bandages he scavenged from a nearby town.

“No, you’re going to do it wrong.” He sighs, beginning to tap his foot against the ground. “I don’t want your wound getting infected again and slowing us down even further.”

Your features pull into a scowl. One which you are grateful he cannot see at the moment. You remain silent, tugging the loose shirt over your head once dry enough to do so. Only a grunt is given to acknowledge he can turn to face you, one which he seemingly immediately understands.

“Sit down.” He commands, walking over to you with another leaf filled with fresh paste in his one hand.

You comply, barely holding back your grumble of discontent. “Yes, General.”

The fae lets out a sharp breath through his nose, kneeling beside you on the ground. He says nothing as he begins to apply the paste over your now healing wound.

The cut on your leg is doing tremendously better in such a short amount of time. No longer does it crust at the edges, and the swelling has gone down significantly. There’s a small scab that rests over the deepest part of the cut, but the edges are much fainter than before, almost scar like in appearance. Sure, it still aches, but it’s nowhere near as horrendous or as infected as it once was.

Carefully, he spreads the paste over your cut. You notice his claws have retracted once more, and though he’s focussing intently on what he’s doing, he isn’t all that gentle. At one particular point, he adds a bit too much pressure to his fingers over the worst part of your cut, and you flinch.

A sharp hiss escapes you before you can stop yourself, and he removes his hand.

He says nothing as he discards of the leaf this time, reaching over to grab the roll of bandages. Wordlessly, he slides his one hand beneath your knee, tugging it upwards without warning.

Your initial response is to scold him, but given how close he is to you right now, combined with the fact that he is treating your wound, you don’t want to give him an opportunity to attack you. If he’s this good with treating them, then obviously he’s even better at causing them. Besides, there are ways he could torment you with the worst pain imaginable, all while making sure to still keep you alive.

It’s not like that hasn’t happened before. You would know.

There is no time, nor opportunity for you to be embarrassed right now. True to his word, he barely takes his eyes from your wounded leg the whole time he treats it. No roaming hands. No snide remarks, or suggestive comments about anything.

Whether he takes notice of the other scars lining your legs is unbeknownst to you, for he doesn’t comment on a single one. Instead, his brow is furrowed in concentration, his hands moving roughly around your thigh as he wraps the bandage around your wound. It’s almost as if he’s working subconsciously, letting his muscles repeat the monotonous motion of covering your wound without thinking. Almost as if he’s done this a thousand times before.

In the back of your mind, you begin to wonder about him. What was his past like? How did he learn to treat wounds this well? Is he truly as terrifying as you’ve been led to believe?

You catch yourself, blinking a few time to clear your vision. These are not things you should concern yourself with. You need to worry about yourself, and only yourself right now.

Looking back at the fae, you notice that his eyes are glazed. Still, he stares intently down at your thigh. You can tell he’s not paying attention, for he bandages your thigh too tightly, tying it off without a second thought.

“It’s too tight.” A blunt comment which seems to snap him out of his thoughts.

“No, it’s not.” He clicks his tongue, standing back to his feet. “Quit complaining, and let’s get a move on. I’ve already wasted enough time waiting for you today.”

“Isn’t it dangerous for me to travel at night?” You remark, tugging the fresh pair of pants over your legs as he walks over to the tree line.

“Not with me, it’s not.” Comes his gruff reply as he begins to stalk deeper into the woods. “Keep up. I’m not stopping if you fall behind.”

Without another word, and with a deep sigh, you take off after him. That stem of red spider lilies you still have with you gets hastily tucked back into your pants pocket. Despite the petals wilting every day, you cling onto it. It means too much to you, and the fact that you were able to find a single stem in the wild still makes your head spin.

Your favourite flower, come to bring you home.

Surprisingly, you manage to keep pace with the fae quite well. You can tell he’s not travelling at his top speed, but the trek is still manageable, and your thigh doesn’t throb once.

Your ankle on the other hand…

Sometime over the course of the night, your foot had started going numb. Your limp has become more prominent, and with every step you take, pain shoots up your right ankle. You manage to bear it for quite a bit longer. That is, until you lose your footing, tripping over a sudden root in your path and falling to the ground with a loud thump.

An annoyed sigh greets your ears, followed by even louder stomps heading back in your direction.

“Are you that incompetent-“ A sharp intake of breath. “You’re bleeding.”

“I’m always bleeding.” You push yourself upward, feeling pain shoot through your fingertips.

Oh, yes. You forgot. You cracked your nails.

Sitting yourself on the ground, you let out a sigh of your own. Gently, you go to raise your hands to your face in order to assess the damage. However, before you can get very far, two large hands envelope your own.

“You’re a walking disaster.” He clicks his tongue, studying your fingertips thoroughly.

His touch is not soft, but it’s not as rough as this morning. Still, he turns your hands in his without thought, tugging your arms lightly forward as he brings your fingertips closer to his face.

Your expression hardens, pursing your lips. “So I’ve been told.”

He says nothing, but you do notice his gaze flick upwards to your face. A moment later, and he’s letting out another sigh. “Is there anything else I should be made aware of?”

“Well, since you’re asking,” you reply smartly, pain and irritation ridding you of your normal filter. “I haven’t been able to feel my right foot for over two hours.”

He swears lowly under his breath. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were now my own personal doctor.” You snap.

A low growl greets you in response, and you freeze. With wide eyes, you meet his own.

“I would like to make it back to my home without any further setbacks.” He snarls. “Preferably with you in one piece.”

“Didn’t realize I was so important to you, General,” you tug your hands out from his grip, and surprisingly, you do not feel the sharp sting of fresh cuts adorning your skin from his claws. In fact, it looks as if he retracted them before he even started examining your hands.

A strange, yet welcomed fact which you didn’t bother to notice until now.

“You’re not.” He spits out his reply, standing back to his full height in the next second. “Wait here. I’ll be back in a bit with some supplies.”

Without waiting for a response, he takes off into the night. 

All you can hear are the sounds of the forest around you, and the faint stomping of the fae away from you as you drag yourself to rest against a tree. Finally, you feel as if you can breathe easier. 

There’s a war going on within yourself. You still want to make the general so mad that he kills you in a fit of rage, while another part of you is genuinely regretting that decision. Whether it happens or not, is still yet to be seen. At least you no longer have starvation, dehydration, and infection clouding your mind.

About an hour later, the fae returns to see you having stripped yourself of your pants. The bandage he had tied around your thigh rests to the side as you let the wound breathe, and it looks the best it has in weeks. Whatever that paste is made from has really helped, for now all that remains of the initial cut is a small scar, and a minor scab.

You notice he spares a glance at your thigh. “How’s your leg?”

Your brow quirks, but you school your features into a neutral expression almost as quickly as it comes.

“Well, I’m starting to gain feeling back in my foot.” You say, watching him carefully as he crosses the short distance between the both of you. “I told you the bandages were too tight.”

“Do you ever stop nagging?” His features twist in irritation as he crouches beside you.

Almost instantly, your breath catches, and your expression falls. Your throat bobs as you swallow thickly, averting your gaze to the side. Old memories, ones you had shoved deep down inside of you resurface, and bile rises in your throat.

“I suppose I should feel grateful for having you keep me from dying.”

“Feel whatever you want to, mortal,” he sighs, handing you a canteen of water. “I have no ties to you, and you have none to me.”

“Then, what do you call this?” Pointedly, you spare a glance down at your almost fully healed thigh, making sure to catch his gaze.

“Insurance.” He states bluntly. Not even a second later, his eyes fall shut, and he’s breathing out a long sigh. “Look, I’m getting tired of repeating myself-“

“I know.” You cut him off. “I’m useless if I can’t function properly.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“You didn’t have to.” You turn your head, jaw twitching as tears prick at your eyes.

You’ve heard it all before. Over and over for what feels like your entire life. Friends, family… all those that were supposed to love you, to care for you.

You nearly scoff.

Love. What a useless emotion. You’re not even sure it exists anymore. Though, you’re sure your parents would argue that they did even this for you out of whatever twisted love they claim to have for you.

No. They wouldn’t know love even if it hit them right in their faces. 

No one has ever loved you. No one ever will.

“We’ll rest here until you’re fully healed, and then we’ll continue the journey back to the keep.” His voice, solid and stern, pulls you out of your own thoughts. “That way there’s no excuse as to why we need to make additional stops.”

“Yes, General,” your voice is much weaker than before, barely coming out as more than a hoarse whisper. It’s as if you’ve suddenly lost the will to fight. If you ever even had it in the first place.

A grunt is all you hear from him in response. In fact, that’s all you hear from him for the rest of the morning, and as the sun begins to rise over the horizon, you fall into a deep, restless sleep.

***

It takes two full days for your wound to fully heal. Granted it only took one for the cut to become nothing more than a scar, but it was better to be safe, than sorry.

Despite the setbacks, Mingi actually feels relieved now that he knows you won’t be able to slow him down since your thigh has healed. Looking after you hasn’t been so bad, either. Your company, surprisingly enough, can actually be quite enjoyable.

There are times where you don’t seem to filter yourself as heavily as others. He enjoys those the most. You have an attitude to you that he can appreciate. An attitude which reminds himself of his younger days, before he became the seasoned general that he is now. He honestly wishes he would see it more often from you, but every time you allow yourself to snap back at him, it’s as if you expect him to hit you for it.

Not only that, but the past few times you’ve fallen asleep, you seem to be tormented by terrors unknown to him. He can hear you thrashing against the tree you rest on, whimpering into the stillness of the night as your body attempts to curl in on itself.

It bothers him, and he doesn’t understand why. 

Ever since he saw you attempting to frantically crawl away from him that day after he had slaughtered that deer, something within himself has shifted. 

Mingi has always known he’s a monster. He was born a monster. He was raised a monster. He is a monster, and he’s never for one moment denied that part of himself. Of course, he has his own moral code he lives by, but again, he doesn’t enjoy wasting his time on easy prey. 

If it’s not worth killing over, it’s not worth dying for.

Besides, no one respects him for the minor kills. He wouldn’t have gotten where he is today if he took the easy path. He has a reputation to uphold, and killing people that are not even worth his time only makes people fear him.

Fear isn’t what can drive people to be loyal. Respect can.

No one gains respect by slaughtering countless humans here. At least, in his opinion. It would be the same as targeting children. Who gains honour from tearing apart the weak and defenceless? Certainly not him. He never has, and he never will. 

There’s no valour in that.

Still, there is something about you that irritates him to no end. Every time you call him general, he wants to rip your tongue from your throat. The way he catches you looking at him from time to time makes him want to gouge your eyes from your head. Yet, there’s something about the way you’ve come to rely on him, about being able to actually take care of something in such a way instead of destroying like he’s used to. Something about the way he feels as if he can just live around you, causes his guard to weaken and start to crumble. 

A vulnerability he hasn’t felt in a long time. A vulnerability that, in actuality, he doesn’t think he’s ever felt in his entire life.

Maybe that’s why you irritate him so much.

Stupid human making him feel stupid things he’s never felt before.

The sun sets in the distance, casting a golden hue across the surrounding area. A gentle breeze cools the humid air of the day, giving way for the crisp stillness that night is sure to bring.

Still, you limp along.

Your stamina has improved since your wound has healed, and you seem to be more keenly aware of your surroundings. Enough so, that Mingi can see the familiar shine of recognition behind your eyes as the forest begins to thin up ahead. 

“Shouldn’t there-“ you swallow, panting lightly. “Shouldn’t there be a town up ahead?”

A low hum in confirmation is all you receive in response as Mingi breaks through the tree line. He pauses, waiting for you to catch up. Taking the time now, he scans over the area, no annoying pests in sight. Of course, there are the town’s other inhabitants, but at least the pain in the ass seems to be gone for the moment. If his missing scent is anything to go by, Seonghwa hasn’t been home in quite a few days.

Perhaps those small set backs were more of an advantage than Mingi thought.

“Come on,” Mingi says, leading you towards a tavern across the way. “We’ll stay here for the night. I could use a decent rest in a bed instead of on the ground for a change.”

Eager eyes follow the both of you as you cross the short distance between the woods and the tavern, and Mingi can already hear the whispers floating in the air. He knows that he’s easily recognizable, given the red band tied around his upper arm, but hearing them comment about you sets his skin prickling.

The worst part is, he doesn’t know why.

Stepping inside, the familiar smells of malt ale and other fermented substances greet his nostrils. There’s a distinct stench of body odour, and malcontent lingering in the air that irritate his nose the further into the tavern he goes. The rowdy patrons are all around, laughing and jeering amongst themselves as he steps up to the counter. 

Even though he spares a glance over his shoulder to check, he knows that you’re scurrying after him as fast as you can. You seem to be able to feel the pointed stares sent your way as Mingi discusses lodging arrangements with the owner. 

Out of the corner of his eyes, Mingi watches you shift uncomfortably on your feet, curling in on yourself as loud voices reach the both of your ears.

“Isn’t that that infamous redcap general?” A loud whisper cuts through the noise of the tavern.

“What’s a human doing with him?” Another hisses, and Mingi can feel his one ear twitch.

“You think he’s claimed her?”

“I don’t see a mark.” Such a smug comment causes Mingi’s jaw to tick in irritation. 

What ever happened to minding one’s own business?

“You think we could convince him to let us have some fun with her?”

“Maybe I should give her a mark of my own-“

“Watch your tongue before you lose it.” The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them, his sharp gaze locked onto the fae that had uttered such a repulsive phrase.

A sudden silence encases the entire tavern, and even your eyes go wide. 

The comment from the general is so unexpected, it seems to even surprise him.

Mingi is acutely aware of all eyes on him now. Not even a drop of condensation falls against a single glass as he snatches the ward key from the counter. With his opposite hand, he pushes you along, only causing you to stumble forwards and towards the stairs at the back of the room.

“Don’t concern yourselves with business that is not your own.” Mingi snaps, practically shoving you up the stairs and out of sight from hungry, prying eyes. 

Eyes of which that seem to follow you all the way to the room. A fact which only serves to irritate him more, a scowl tugging at his features as he unlocks the door with the ward key. A moment later, the entrance swings open, and he’s dragging you inside.

“This was a bad idea.” He begins to pace, rubbing a hand over his face.

“I was fine the last time I passed through this town.” Your reply is much softer than he’s used to, and he spares a glance in your direction.

There you stand, still fidgeting in your spot. Your hands tug at the long sleeves of your shirt, shoulders curling in on yourself as you intently stare at the ground. Your eyes have lost that faint shine he’s come to know over the past few days, the brightness having dulled suddenly into a blank nothingness.

He bets you’re thinking about their eyes on you, and how everyone was gazing at you like you were a piece of meat. Even he can still see the way tongues ran over sharp teeth, lips curling back against fangs in malicious grins as the scents of excitement and thrill bombarded his senses.

His own lips draw back in a scowl, and he nearly growls.

“Do you understand what they were implying?” Mingi can barely keep his breathing under control as he turns to look out the window.

Claws dig into wood, fingers nearly snapping the window frame from the pressure of his grip. What only makes this worse is he doesn’t understand why those comments have set him off so much. It’s simply typical fae talk, no different than what his subordinates had said when you first showed up at the edge of their encampment.

Thinking back on it now, the thought nearly makes him snarl.

“It’s nothing I’m not used to with men-“

“They are not men.” Mingi snaps, his chest heaving as he turns to face you.

Immediately, you recoil back, mild shock on your features. That is, until you’re schooling your expression and taking a deep breath in.

“Why should it matter what they say, then?” You keep your voice low, steady. 

“It doesn’t.” His reply is quick. Too quick.

“Aren’t they your kin? Don’t you think the exact same way?” Your voice rises slightly, and the tears he can see shining in your gaze cause his chest to begin to ache.

“I have never- will never think that way.” Mingi shakes his head, fingers tangling in his locks and tugging exasperatedly at the roots. “I may not like your kind, but I don’t agree with treating them however we want to just because we can.”

His head is spinning and throbbing all at once. He feels both freezing cold and burning hot, and he cannot prevent his eyes from shifting from you to the door. His breathing, which he has always been able to master, comes in erratic pants, fangs bared as his claws scratch at his scalp.

“You had no problem with it before when it was your men saying it.”

A silence so deadly settles over the room.

In the blink of an eye, Mingi has you pinned against the wall. His arm rests over your upper chest as he looms over you, teeth bared in a snarl. Raised in the air above his head is his opposite arm, claws glinting beneath the light of the moon as he prepares to strike.

Only, the hitch in your breath pulls him back to reality.

Immediately, he stumbles away from you, staring at his hands in horror. He doesn’t register the single sob that echoes through the silence of the room like a knife, nor does he hear the frantic beating of your heart over his own racing in his ears. What he does catch, however, is the single tear that cuts a path down your cheek, and the way your trembling body collapses to the floor.

The moment you touch ground, you go limp, staring vacantly at the wall across from you.

Mingi’s hands drop to his sides, balling them into fists as he stomps over to the door. 

“I’ll be back.”

The last thing he sees before the door swings shut is you supporting yourself with your hands braced upon the floor. He doesn’t give himself time to think as he storms back downstairs and straight over to the bar, ignoring the pointed stares sent his way.

He needs time to think, to sort out the mess that is his head. Perhaps you could use this time alone, too. Besides, it’s not like you can escape the room you’re in. Only he has the key to get in, and it’s not like you can jump out of the window. The glass is too strong for you to break.

You’re trapped, just like you’ve always been since he caught up to you. Yet, for some reason, that simple thought makes his brow furrow.

He doesn’t want you to feel trapped…

Frowning down into his glass, Mingi downs his ale. A few moments later, and his glass has been refilled. What a perfect way to end the day: by drowning his sorrows in a room full of boisterous fae, drinking until even the most proper of them cannot tell up from down.

About an hour into his drinking, he senses a few other fae saddle up beside him. The scraping of the stools on the ground cuts through the noise of the tavern, and much to Mingi’s annoyance, the fae from earlier that were making comments are the ones that surround him.

“So, what brings you to town, General?” The one with muted butterfly wings on his back asks. He was the one who commented on convincing Mingi to have some fun with you.

Mingi takes another sip of his drink. “Hunt.”

“Oh, so that’s why you’re with that human.” Another hums, small horns protruding from the top of his head. His skin has a slight green hue to it, and Mingi recalls the way he spoke about giving you a mark of his own. “Mustn’t have put up much of a fight, eh?”

A scowl mars Mingi’s brow, but he hides it behind the rim of his glass, downing the rest of its contents in a single shot.

“Surprised she’s not torn to shreds.” Another hums, leaning casually against the edge of the bar. He’s a bit shorter than the other two, but Mingi notes the way he bounces his one hand in the air, almost impatiently. “Or are you saving that for later?”

“Oh, you sly general, you,” the one with the horns nudges Mingi’s shoulder. “Lure the human into a false sense of security, then tear her asunder when she least expects it!”

The three fae share a laugh, fangs glinting beneath the light as their lips curl deviously in mirth.

“I thought I told you to not concern yourself with business that is not your own.” Mingi replies gruffly, slamming his now empty glass back on top of the counter.

“It’s not our fault you brought an unclaimed human into our midst.” The one leaning against the counter titters.

“Really, you should share some of the fun with the rest of us,” the winged one laughs, flicking his eyebrows in a suggestive matter.

“And what would your town’s overseer say if he could hear you now?” Mingi turns his sharp gaze towards the two fae on his right side.

If there’s one thing that Mingi can’t fault the pain in the ass for, it’s that he maintains good control over those that follow him. At least, those that reside in this town.

“Seonghwa’s not here.” The fae with the horns hums. “What he doesn’t know won’t kill him.”

Mingi’s jaw twitches. These fae have clearly done this multiple times with humans before, and gotten away with it despite Seonghwa’s rule not to touch any that enter the village under his watch. Though, with that specificity, Mingi isn’t that surprised.

“Come on, General,” the one with the wings taunts. “Think of how satisfying her shrieks of terror will be.”

A flash of you scrambling away from him in terror flashes through his mind, your desperate cries ringing through his ears.

“Humans are such weak, pathetic creatures, anyways.” The one leaning on the counter rolls his eyes as Mingi stands to his feet. “It’ll probably be the only action she ever sees in her life with how ugly she is. She’ll probably be thanking us by the end of it for make her feel desirable.”

An image, soft and pure, of you tenderly gazing down at that wilting stem of spider lilies flits through his mind, and Mingi tenses. A blink, and the once peaceful scene shifts, blood splattered over your face as tears cut fresh tracks through the dirt and grime smeared over your cheeks.

“Don’t you want to feel the warmth of her blood spilling onto your hands as you bathe yourself in its crimson flow?” The fae with the horns grins maniacally. “Taste its bitter scent as it drips down your tongue?”

Mingi’s hands, which are currently clenched into fists at his sides, begin shaking.

“Come on, General,” the one that’s leaning against the bar continues, pushing himself forwards to lean into the silent redcap’s back. “Let us have our fun. We’ll take her off your hands.”

“Yeah,” The winged one smirks, eyes glinting in the light of the tavern. “Don’t you know human meat is a delicacy around here?”

“Let alone one so young, and fresh,” the horned one snickers, his grin widening as he licks his lips. “Oh, I can’t wait to tear into her-“

Blood splatters across the top of the bar, and every patron turns to see what the sudden commotion is about. Not a sound can be heard for several tense moments as realization settles over the entire room.

The horned fae can do nothing but open and close his jaw, blood spilling from his mouth as he stumbles away from the redcap across from him. Horror paints his features for a brief second before anger is taking over, watching as Mingi drops the now severed muscle in his hand, the horned fae’s tongue thudding against the floor.

“I warned you.”

Without another word, Mingi is storming outside the tavern to get some fresh air. The rest of the fae around him immediately part to let him pass, low whispers following him all the way outside. His hand clenches repeatedly, feeling disgusted by the wet warmth that covers his fingers.

Normally, Mingi would revel in the feeling. He loves the way blood coats his skin when he goes in for the kill, not to mention maiming something that annoys him. Sure, he has his morals, but that doesn’t mean he won’t put in the effort when the time calls for it.

Mingi doesn’t quite exactly know why he reacted the way he did. He put up with his men boasting about wanting to do much worse to you while back in the encampment. Yet, how three unknown fae could rile him up so easily only makes the confusion and anger he’s feeling all the more prominent.

It’s only because you’re still technically on a hunt with him. You’re not home free just yet. At least, that’s what he tells himself. He has to make sure you both make it back unharmed, and that includes not letting other fae take advantage of you.

No other reason. 

None at all.

Taking a deep breath in, Mingi lets the crisp night air fill his lungs. He flicks his wrist, more blood splattering against the ground as he scowls down at his hand. His whole body is tense, and he’s surprised his teeth don’t crack from the force at which he clenches his jaw.

He should probably check on you soon. It’s been a long day, and all he wants to do is rest. No more dealing with this stupid shit for the moment. It’s time for him to turn his brain off.

Besides, he could use the downtime.

Heading back inside after about five more minutes, Mingi flexes his hand. The now dried blood cracks over his skin, and a feeling of unease settles inside his chest. The other three fae are nowhere to be seen, and at the way a few of the other patrons spare looks his way out of the corners of their eyes, he can tell something is off.

It’s quiet.

Too quiet.

***

For half an hour, you do not move from your spot. 

Your ankle throbs as you curl up on the floor, hugging your knees to your chest as best as you can. A familiar position, as you find your tears quickly depleting as your entire being goes numb.

Blankly, you stare at the opposite wall. You were this close to getting him to kill you, and you don’t know if you’re more upset at yourself or him for not seeing it through.

It’s not like you trusted him, nor do you necessarily trust him in general. However, faced with the same scenario you’ve played out so many times before, all you could see was that monster covered in blood, ready to strike you down once more.

There’s a bitterness that builds within your chest, but you don’t know if it’s at yourself, or the fae. You were so close to being done with all of this. Are you that horrible at committing to something, and seeing it through, that not even a fae wants to kill you? Are you that useless that you can’t even do that right?

Taking in a shaky breath, you finally push yourself up into a sitting position. Your whole body groans in protest, muscles aching due to the position you had been laying in on the cold, hard floor. Slowly, you pull yourself to your feet, mindful of the twinge in your right ankle as you hobble over to one of the side doors.

You’re pretty sure you saw a bathroom on the way in.

Time seems to pass languidly, and much too quickly all at once. By the time you pull yourself out of the tub, you have no idea if the redcap has returned or not. You didn’t hear his telltale footsteps stomping through the room, but you’ve learned that he can be quite light on his feet when he wants to be. Who knows how much time you have left to yourself, anyways.

As you’re drying off, you can faintly hear a commotion coming from the direction of the stairs. It seems as if one of the patrons has gotten too rowdy, for all seems to still a moment later.

You shake your head, wrapping the surprisingly fluffy towel around your plush body, and limping back into the main area of the room. The redcap is nowhere in sight, but there seems to be a fresh pile of clothes laid out on the bed. There’s even a clean set of undergarments for you, and as you look closer, you realize that it’s actually your old set. Upon a thorough inspection, they appear as if brand new, washed and dried to perfection.

Such a small gesture, whether through some form of magic, or something else, causes your heart to swell. It’s been a long time since you’ve had anything done for you like this, and to say it means a lot would be a tremendous understatement.

Feeling the material of your undergarments between your fingers, you let out a soft sigh through your nose. Sitting on the edge of the bed, you begin to change, managing to pull everything on quickly. There’s still a faint warmth clinging to the material of the clothes, as if they’ve been left out in the sun for too long, or have rested beside an open fire. It calms you, and breathing starts to become a little bit easier.

Standing from the bed, you can hear muffled voices begin shouting at each other from down the hallway. You figure them to be other patrons staying overnight, so you think nothing of it to walk towards the bathroom to hang your towel upon the back of the door. You’re sure you saw a little hook there before…

Just as you go to reenter the bathroom, the main door to the room swings open. You expect it to be the redcap returning from wherever it is that he went, but instead, what you see, or rather, whom, has you freezing right in your tracks.

Three unfamiliar fae stand before you. One has light green skin and horns, who seems to be bleeding from his mouth. Another has large wings, akin to a butterfly, with a neutral coloured pattern painted over them. The third is very human-like in appearance. He’s shorter than his two companions, with pointed ears, sharp teeth, and claws that adorn his features.

“Well, well, well, look what we have here.” The one with the wings steps forwards, a malicious grin tugging at his lips.

Naturally, you take a step backwards, your heart jumping into your throat. Your eyes dart between the three fae as they creep towards you, matching their pace with each step backwards you take. In the back of your mind, you begin to wonder if it was the redcap that gave them the key to unlock this room.

“Don’t act so coy, Doll,” the human-like fae drawls, his fangs prominent as he smiles wickedly at you. “We’re only here to have some fun. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Please, I don’t want any trouble,” you say weakly, lifting your hands before you slightly in a defensive position.

Boisterous laughter greets your ears as the door to the room swings shut behind them, sealing your fate. There’s no way the other fae is going to come back to save you now. You’re stuck, and this time, you really will die at the hands of three unfamiliar fae who look at you like an object they’re going to enjoy ripping apart.

“You should have thought of that before you waltzed in here without a claim, acting like you own the place,” the one with wings spits, and you can hear the green one gargle out something that sounds like a noise of agreement. Only, more blood escapes his mouth, and he ends up spitting it in your direction and onto the floor at your feet.

“You’re not going to look much different than that pile of blood once we’re done with you,” the human-like one says, a sick, twisted sense of glee lighting up his features.

“Until then, you live to serve us.” The butterfly winged fae adds sharply. “We’ll take all the pleasure we can from this pathetic body of yours, and after each round, you’re going to thank us for even bothering to touch you.”

You swallow the sudden dryness in your throat, skin prickling in disgust as bile builds in your chest. Your stomach drops, and before you can think, you spin on your heel, attempting to make a break out the window.

“Where do you think you’re going?” The human-like fae blocks your path, grabbing your wrists in his hands harshly and holding you in place.

“Let me go!” You begin to thrash around to no avail, tripping over your own feet as you get dragged back and towards the one bed.

“Oh, this one has some fight left in her,” the winged one snickers, leaning casually against the wall as he observes the scene. “Looks like that general was too easy on this one. Guess we’ll have to make up for lost time.”

“You should be thanking us for even looking at a disgusting creature such as yourself.” The one that had dragged you towards the bed throws you upon it, wasting no time in pinning you down upon the mattress.

Your protests and pleas to stop fall on deaf ears. In fact, the more you struggle, the more it seems to delight the three fae closing in around you. Thrashing beneath his harsh hold only earns you a knee to the stomach, and you cry out in pain. 

Tears leak out of the corners of your eyes, blurring your vision as you feel hands groping you all over as the fae above you keeps you captive beneath him. This scene is all to familiar to you, and just as with all those times before, no one is coming to your rescue. 

No matter how loudly you scream, no matter how much you beg, struggle, and cry, no one will care.

The only certainty that now awaits you is death.

“Stop struggling,” the fae above you hisses, his one hand pinning your wrists above your head as he adds more pressure to the knee digging into your stomach. “Shut up, and take it like pathetic human you are.”

The moment you see the fae reach a clawed hand towards your shirt, you stop breathing. 

It feels as if time stops. One moment the fae is above you, pinning you down unforgivingly. The next, he’s gone, the pressure on both your wrists and stomach completely having disappeared.

A sickening crunch echoes throughout the room, followed by an immediate scream of pain.

A blur moves through the room, and suddenly, you see a wing get tossed towards the window, followed shortly by another. The tearing sounds resonate through the room, followed almost immediately by muffled screams and pleas for mercy.

Only one figure remains within view, and as he uncurls himself into a standing position, his full height looms over the entire room. His towering form fills the space around you, and as you lay upon the bed, you feel as if you can breathe again. Never have you been so grateful to see that terrifying redcap standing across from you, but still you cannot prevent your body from shaking.

“All this for a fucking human.” A voice from the ground spits harshly.

Looking down, you see the green fae cowering in the corner, and the one with the once beautiful butterfly wings laying face down on his stomach. His back is completely torn asunder, blood coating the entire area as his wings lie in torn heaps upon the ground.

“You’re going to break code just for a stupid mortal?” The same fae hisses, pure anger on his features as he trembles beneath the redcap’s piercing gaze.

“You can’t kill us.” The one human-like fae by the window laughs. He seems to be holding his hands before himself, fingers severely deformed and sticking out in odd angles. Bones peek through his flesh, and blood coats every inch of his hands, but that does not prevent the way his whole body trembles as the redcap takes a menacing step towards him.

“You’re not dead yet, are you?” The general spits, gaze sharp as he pointedly looks between all three fae cowering around the room.

Frantically, they shake their heads.

“That’s what I thought.” He snaps, lips pulled over his fangs in a snarl. “I doubt any of you want to chance a duel against me given the state you’re all in. Not that’d you’d survive, even at full strength.”

Again, the three fae shake their head. Though this time, scowls adorn their features.

“Now,” the redcap’s eyes flash, a low snarl permeating the air. “Get out of my sight before I rid you all of yours.”

All three fae scramble for the door, the human-like one managing to trip over his own feet and land harshly on his broken hands. A sharp cry escapes him, and the horned fae ends up having to pull the other to his feet, soon supporting both broken fae as they tumble out of the room.

You can hear the redcap muttering under his breath, leaning down to pick something up from the floor. Not even a second later, and he’s crushed what appears to be a second ward key in his hand, tossing it over his shoulder without another thought.

He turns to you.

There you lie, stiff as a board on top of the one mattress. The other bed lays untouched to your side, but all you can do is stare with wide eyes at the redcap before you. Your gaze darts over the blood splattered on his skin, the red dotting his clothing in random patterns.

Your lungs burn, and your eyes sting. Yet, still, you do not move. No words escape you, not trusting your voice for the moment as you wait for him to move.

He takes a cautious step forward, but you fail to see the way his gaze softens as he does.

A whimper escapes you, another tear sliding from the corner of your cheek.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he lifts his hands, palms facing upwards to show you he means you no harm. “Breathe.”

Oh, yeah. You should probably fill your lungs with air. No wonder your chest is burning.

A stuttering gasp escapes you as you heave a large breath into your lungs. However, the second you do, a harsh sob escapes you. Immediately, you’re scrambling back on the bed, a hand clutching over your stomach where that fae dug his knee into you. Your wrists throb, more tears blurring your vision as the redcap takes another step towards you.

“Stay away.” The plea is but a desperate whisper upon your lips, chin trembling as you attempt to curl in on yourself.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” Still, he keeps his hands in the air, palms facing towards you. “You have my word.”

Your gaze catches on the blood staining his clothes, smeared over his skin, and you shake your head.

For a moment, you swear you watch his brow furrow, only for realization to line his features. He straightens, doing his best to move in the least threatening manner possible.

“Stay here.” His voice is low, an edge of worry lining his command.

Before you can even react, the fae disappears into the bathroom. You can hear the sound of water, followed by some frantic scrubbing. Then, more water trickling along with the movement inside the bathroom.

The whole time you sit on the bed, your gaze is locked on the little opening where the main door to the room and the door to the bathroom reside. You can faintly hear things being shuffled around you, and you swear you catch something dart across the room out of the corner of your eye. It’s small, and quick, but when you shift your head to look, all that greets you is empty space.

An empty room devoid of any of the mess you just witnessed stain it.

The blood splatters are gone, along with the tattered remains of the one fae’s wings. There’s even a fresh set of clothing at the end of your bed by your feet, completely identical to the ones you’re currently wearing.

You swallow thickly.

Turning your head, you begin to look around the room once more. Your eyes search for one thing in particular, and you find it resting beside you on the bedside table. It’s almost as if it had been placed delicately beside you after someone had realized the horrifying events that have just taken place.

The red spider lilies are crushed, the stem broken in two. The flower that means so much to you has been tread upon like it’s nothing, reflecting exactly how you feel in this moment. Only a few petals remain, wilted and dead, clinging to the plant for dear life in a final attempts to maintain what once was pure.

Slowly, you reach over and take the dying stem into your trembling grip.

A choked sob escapes you, and you’re quick to slap a hand over your mouth. Your eyes squeeze shut. The hand you have holding the flower also clutches at your throbbing stomach as your whole body shakes with the weight of your situation.

What you’ve been through - what you’re going through - you cannot take it anymore.

The hand that caresses the top of your head is soft, but the unexpected touch still makes you nearly jump out of your skin. Pain lingers in your gaze as you turn to see the redcap staring at you with an unreadable expression on his face.

No, not unreadable. You just cannot accept that someone is actually looking at you in concern, rather than pity for once.

He pulls his hand away, hesitant in the way he leans the slightest bit over the bed that you’re curled up on. His normally looming figure doesn’t seem so intimidating all of a sudden, almost as if his features have softened beneath the faint glow of the moon.

You watch him carefully, observing his every movement with a wary glint to your gaze. He saved you. He protected you, and you don’t know if that scares you more than if he had sent those other three fae after you like you had originally thought. His actions confuse you, and more than anything, you’re tired. 

Exhaustion doesn’t even come close to the immense fatigue you feel. You’re tired of the life you were given. Tired of the life you’ve been forced into. Tired of living.

Honestly, you don’t know what to do anymore. It seems accepting your fate isn’t going exactly as you thought it would, nor is it as easy as it seems.

“Are you hurt?” Though he keeps his voice soft, the sudden timbre cutting through the silence of the room still makes you jump.

You shake your head, hand tightening around that broken flower over your stomach.

His eyes glance the movement, and his expression falls slightly.

“I only wish to make sure you’re okay.” Again, he keeps his voice soft, tone steady as he meets your gaze.

You bite your lower lip, attempting to keep it from wobbling as a single sob wracks your entire body. Then another, and then another, until you’re breaking down before his very eyes.

Tears stream down your face as you continue to muffle your sobs behind your one hand. Your eyes squeeze shut, simply wishing to disappear in this very moment. You wish you had never been born, where nothing but servitude, injustice, and hell rule your life with an iron grip.

From the very first memories you can recall, someone has always been using you. Whether it be your parents, friends, or other family members, you’ve always lived to serve. No one has ever cared for you, and no one has ever fought for you.

It all feels like one big joke. A lie concocted by the monster stalking you through your every waking nightmare, ready to jump out and laugh at you for even thinking anyone could ever care for you.

Yet, despite the darkness swirling within, a light begins to peek through.

Softly, the bed dips as the fae rests a knee on the mattress. His hand strokes gently over your head, tentatively pulling you into his arms as he settles himself against the headboard.

“Shh, it’s okay,” his voice is calm, soothing. “I’ve got you.”

He holds you against his chest, cradling your head in the palm of his hand. He’s hesitant as he comforts you, making sure his arms are loose enough to allow you to pull away if need be. Only, you do not shy from his touch, instead finding it oddly satisfying that he of all creatures chose to comfort you.

Most important of all, you let him.

“I won’t let anything else harm you,” he says softly. “Not while I’m here to protect you.”

His one hand strokes lightly over your back, and though a shiver caresses your spine at the first touch, you find yourself melting into the warmth of his embrace. It’s soothing, and everything you’ve always needed but have never gotten in your entire life. A safety that shouldn’t be as welcoming as it is.

His body is firm and lean against your own. A solid foundation which holds you steady as you cling onto the fabric of his now clean shirt with your one hand. Your sobs are muffled into his chest, your sadness being absorbed into the material adorning his skin as he cradles you to him.

After some time, you feel his one hand shift downwards, placing itself over your own on top of your stomach. The warmth that you can feel radiating from his skin is welcomed, and it helps to ease the ache you feel lingering within. Softly, he begins to hum, his chest vibrating with the gentle sounds as he continues to cradle your head to his chest using his opposite hand.

The steady sound of his heart pulses beneath your ear, and the constant sound soothes you even further. You don’t realize it, but you curl in closer into him, breathing finally evening out as you start to calm down.

“Why did you-“ You swallow the dryness in your throat, sniffling lightly. “Why did you do that?”

Though your voice is barely above a whisper, you know he still hears you loud and clear.

“I… don’t know,” his brow furrows slightly, tongue darting out to wet his lips. “My body just moved.”

You say nothing in response, unsure of how to reply to such an admission. You know that he cannot lie, but that doesn’t mean he cannot stretch the truth. Really, you shouldn’t be letting yourself be coddled by him, it’ll only make it hurt more when he betrays you in the end. At least, that’s what you keep telling yourself.

You are so used to disappointment, of having false hope, that anything you believe to be too good to be true always is. Tomorrow you’ll wake up, and he’ll be back to despising your existence, only finding value in what you can do for him.

The same as it always was. The same as it always will be.

[nostalgink]

Due to some past trauma from previous fandoms, I'm not particularly one to engage in fandom related discourse anymore, but when you not only name-drop me, but continue to perpetuate lies about not only me, but also my friends.... that's when I'd rather "clear my name" than allow for a nasty rumor to circulate when I know it's out there.

I want to go through everything that went down in order as best as possible. Even though I’ve spent so much time on this receipt post, truly this issue was something very small, the root of the issue lies with CookieRuby herself, given she decided to continue to create and perpetuate lies and rumors about myself and others. I know she will most likely continue to make up whatever she wants to have happened to obtain pity from those who do not know the context, but I thought that if she was going to do so regardless, I might as well let everyone know mine and my friends’ side of things. Because sadly I got some very worried and confused messages wondering if the statements were truthful. Hopefully this reassures most that they are in fact not.

I also would like to say while I am deeply upset that someone would lie about me like this and continue to emotionally manipulate, then double down on it all… I still do want to say that if you know people who act as such to please help them get the help they need. The timeline of this basically showcases us interacting at 3 points ever, but its obvious in her own obsessive world she has created, it has been brewing with her much longer. Which all of this is genuinely concerning and I hope she gets help. Despite my anger.

In the beginning

I believe I knew about them prior to them joining the old Darkwing Duck RP server I used to be active in back in 2022. If you know me, I follow practically every artist in the fandom. Especially as the fandom loses traction and there are less and less of us actively creating works. So naturally I followed. I even found her oc interesting. I mean why wouldn’t I? Magentus, while more of an oc now than he was in the past, at the end of the day still is my sona so to speak. I love seeing others put themselves into their own work in their own ways. Unfortunately once I got to know them, their attitude towards others when it came to their oc soured my interest.

In a lot of her posts, she makes claims towards my friends and I (as well as I suppose vague unknown other “harrassers” prior to us. I only put it in air quotes because the amount of lying she does, ironic I know, makes me question the validity of anything she says.) that we actively hated and made fun of her for disliking Drakepad. As you can see in the screenshots provided, that is exactly the oppposite.

I also want to mention the screenshots here are an anonymous friend’s server that I used to be active in. In the screenshots provided by Soy, it refers to their old server. Though I believe there is a point in our screenshots where one is referenced in another. (I am currently not looking at them, so I can recall which is referenced in which.) I wanted to make sure there was no confusion with that. These were provided to me by Drake. I could not find them on my own. This was her asking about playing her oc initally. and some stuff I didn't screenshot previously I think?

On Soy’s Side of things

Initially I had another draft of this whole rant, but because of these screenshots I got so peeved that I spiraled into a mad disorganized rage due to the ridiculousness of all of this. So I thought it would be best to rework my words into a more composed response. Personally I had read the first set of messages after they had happened, but when it comes to the discord screenshots, these were new to me. We were all suspicious of her potentially using an alt account on tumblr to ask as a “friend”. Because while I cannot say the same for my friends, I had online friends when I was young who pulled very similar stunts to continue to emotionally manipulate me into remaining their friend and under their thumb. I do not fuck with that sort of behavior anymore. And to note from Soy they said that they had joined their old dead DWD server and immediately dmed them. The obsessive manner of her continuing whatever game she thinks this is is a genuine concern and big alarm sounding that she needs to talk to someone. She is older than me, but I have already dealt with extremely similar people in my preteens, so it’s sad to see someone being so immature like this. (I hit the 30 post limit so the screenshots will be in the reblogs for anything missing)

responses to tumblr posts

Starting with the post that finally prompted this response, I want to cover my personal opinion of each thing mentioned. Unfortunately as you will see, I do not have proof for my own ponytown run in personally, but if you read all of the messages provided, you can probably tell who’s more truthful considering it’s a 1-0 with me having evidence and her none. You’ll notice she remains vague when she can, which is most of the time.

First we need to all heavily note that this was a supposed dream. She is her character Hannah in her dream, alongside Drake. Soy, an anon, and myself appear as “hooded people” in her dream and do an incantation on her in order to curse her to not be with Drake. I suppose this causes a curse that forces Drakepad to be real in her dream? Then we say quotes she is claiming we said. I will get to that in a moment. This is a summary so that if she deletes the post linked, you still have me explaining it. (I wrote this last night, unfortunately as of right now while I was acquiring links she did in fact delete the post. Likely because of my warning post from the other day. So she is stalking my account still.) Then her own oddly crafted happy ending where the spell is broken and she gets her ending of support.

Now I’ll cover the “quotes”

“Drakepad is the only true ship”

You will here her claim people saying this to her often. In reference to my friends, such claims have been proven false. We supported her opinion despite our own. Even comforting her and letting her know its awful for anyone to try and pressure her over such a simple difference in taste. Also adding the fact we supported her oc x canon even though she could not RP it in the old server.

“Darkwing DENIED YOU” with her claiming it is something I said to her in Ponytown.

I will go more in depth in exactly what I said in ponytown further down, but I never once said this. She insisted that my opinion was that her oc x canon was not valid. I was Negaduck in game, then I specifically swapped to my Magentus pony and stated how hypocritical it would be for me to say such a thing. Then proceeded to let her know, though I was annoyed, that it’s alright for her to not ship something she does not like, but continuing to bring up that you hate a ship to people you know don’t mind it or even ship it themselves is rude. Then she proceeded to do something I can only describe as something I am seasoned to as the son of an emotionally inmature mother. Again I will elaborate in the ponytown section.

“She gaved me PTSD by her DrakePad hate. And with her tumblr post who HURTED my friends saying we “FORCED” Drakepad on our server she lied.” Which was aparently what Soy said.

I cannot speak to how soy feels completely on this, but I know they did not develop post traumatic stress disorder from this. Nor have they said this quote if you could not guess. I believe the friend was the one in the screenshots between them and soy on discord I shared above. Again, I do not trust that these are her actual friends. This is not to say she couldn’t potentially have friends who agree with her, I just don’t trust her truthfulness especially with said discord dms. But you as the reader can make your own opinion on that. From what I was told by Soy, they joined (I believe after they realized they couldn’t do oc x canon with our Darkwing in the old server, which was his choice to make.) and asked if they could do darkwing x hannah. Soy and others kindly let her know that they were working on a drakepad relationship, but saw no problem in doing dw x lp x hannah. She accepted I think? But regardless then returned to our server to both brag about how someone finally let her, but soon ranted about how uncomfortable poly stuff made them. Some of this is word of mouth, but you can see other parts referenced back above.

“You deserve no friends.” by an anon

Again, I question the validity of this claim, but assuming someone actually said this to her this is horrible to say to someone. Back in 2020 I dealt with prosh*ppers in a problematic fandom harrasing me because I outwardly was against their adult x minor ship. Unfortunately if you know what fandom I mean. (keep guesses to yourself, I don’t want to bring it up in public.) You know it’s very popular unfortunately. I was sent death threats and people telling me how unworthy of friends, love, or anything they could throw at me. I would never say this to another nor condone saying this to another. Even if CookieRuby is in the wrong here. Everyone deserves the chance to have friends and flourish as a person. I’m angry but I’d never wish such a thing. And while I’m at it I would like to suggest to you as the reader that if you are considering doing such a thing don’t. Block her, move on. It’s not worth it. I’m only here right now to give context, then I’m done. I do not want anyone going after her. I’m just here to show my receipts, not to harrass her. I’d just prove her point if I did that. I’m not that sort of person.

And I was shown her speaking about her inferiority complex. I do not have one, so I cannot speak to how true this is, but considering this was March 2023...it seems despite her admitting this, she has obviously continued to lie about people. So I don’t know if she has that complex, but she is a chronic liar at the very least so there’s that I guess.

Ponytown run ins

The provided screenshots below are from before what I’ll be describing to you. I had to re-listen to a voice note I sent after this. It’s all I have besides the discord message of me realizing it was her. I do not want to attach it just because I keep my voice to myself most times. I’m shy gang.

Starting off I was just finishing my Magentus pony. For a while they had a color palette I had just chose myself without reference and I was finally giving them their reference colors. I was returning to the darkwing rock circle I was hoping to start a darkwing pony hangout at, when I saw a Darkwing pony approach. Now, I don’t know if this was coincidence of perhaps she knows about the hangout from my story. Considering she has alts, she probably was checking my story, but that is speculation. I immediately am eager to friend them because of their pony. But of course the first words from her are “why do you have me blocked?” my mood immediately changes as it hit me that someone had told me prior she had an account. Likely due to the incident in the other ponytown screenshots. I ask to confirm if it’s her and she says yes.

So I simply put that she cause discomfort to my friends and I and that I use the block liberally. During this I am scrambling to try and block her on ponytown too, but unfortunately my block list is too full because I have been blocking Dream SMP ponies left and right. So I decide maybe here is where I can put my foot down on things. I also mentioned a side thing about how the old server I was in had a policy about posting over people, but she seemed to focus on this more. (I do not recall if this was enforced at the time, but still it was focused on way more than the main issue I was bringing up.) I mentioned how she’d post over others. I told her that it wasn’t my main point and to forget that and move onto the main issue. I explain to her as adult as I can back to her Drakepad issue that “You were being rude to people because you could get your ship. We tried to be nice and I just blocked you because I didn’t want to deal with that [anymore].” and the only thing she got from that was me saying “rude” I suppose so she responded saying “oh so I’m the toxic one?” and boy have I heard this one get pulled on me before. It’s giving emotional manipulation. I calmly reply “That is not what I said.” I said something else that I couldn’t recall, though likely just me restating what happened, then she said “well I guess I’m sorry-” I was on a call at this time with my boyfriend while he was on break as this went down, so I began speaking to him irl. I guess I did not respond to her in time because she continued with the classic backhanded comment of “Since everyone wants me to apologize anyway” or something to that effect. It was in that way that someone who does this wants you to just accept the apology even though it was not a meaningful one. She does not have to apologize, no one is making her, but that was her attitude about it. I thought I’d just end it off there with a joke to myself so I didn’t lose it. I went “I have a mother, I can be emotionally manipulated at home, I don’t need this game from you. Bye.” and logged off. Honestly there is when it actually got personal. Somewhere in the middle she insisted what I had mentioned earlier with us hating oc x canon and drakepad and all that and that statement from earlier still follows.

I even have a later note worrying there would be a post on her tumblr, but I checked once and there was nothing so I thought maybe she had gotten over herself…..we are here now so nope. Also this was 2/2/2024 for timeline’s sake.

I was transcribing from a voice note, so if it seems like there are any holes in that ask me, I’ll try to fill in what I missed.

Misc

Lastly here are things I did not know how to organize into the rant. As well as some people making mention to their experiences with her in reply to my Instagram story. I swore I would get all I could and I meant it.

And anyways thank you to those who actually took the time to read all of this mess. I don’t know how I did drama back in the day this has truly been so exhausting to write, but it was important that I did. Honestly despite my anger this is really dumb to have to make, but I do not like being lied about. I especially don’t like my friends also being lied about. And again just block her and do not engage. I do not condone harassment of any kind. I am going to go sleep as I finish writing this. This was a tiring experience. She’ll probably continue but now I am satisfied knowing we’re all on the same page.

[abibeur]

So. I played Side Order (or rather I finished Side Order, aside from a few completion marks that doesn't offer any spoiler stuff!).

I've been seeing stuff on Tumblr, on Discord servers, on YouTube comments by people who were… Not entirely happy with it. Or rather disappointed. "They could have done more…", "This character was underused…", "I preferred the Octo Expansion…", "Let's re-write it for something better…". And let me tell you, I was (and still am) infuriated when reading these. Not because those comments and posts and messages were unfair, unjust and idiotic or anything (well maybe the re-writing thing was uncalled for), but because I actually loved that DLC. I think that's pretty normal to be angry with seeing a thing you love being shit on, even if I get what all of you meant. But I still wanted to share my own thoughts (because why not, I like saying what I think).

First and foremost, let me just say that I have a pretty different relation with Splatoon than most people. I was in since the release of the first game. I didn't play it due to a lack of Wii U, but I watched a lot of videos. And I liked it! I even had Splatoon OCs, I could be considered a fandom veteran at this point! But after some years, I put it at the back of my head as something I loved. When the Switch came out, I didn't have the money for it and no one would buy me one, so I continued to be a PC gamer. And when I saw the news of a Splatoon 2, I dismissed it like it was something silly, "what can you say more about Splatoon!?" I knew there was some new idols, some stuff about a DLC, Callie being kidnapped, but that's all. I dismissed all of this, and as a result I don't have much of an attachment for it. But in 2021, when I saw the news about a third game, I was ecstatic again. And in 2022, when I finally could afford it, I bought a Switch. Not just any Switch, the Splatoon themed one, and I pre-ordered the game. And when it came out, I spent less than a day to finish the story mode, and it was one of the best day of my life, I played Splatoon for 16 entire hours. Splatoon 3 is now my most played game on the Switch, more than 300 hours (that can seem not that much for some of you, but I'm a casual gamer, I don't play every day, so that's still a lot!). I even bought Splatoon 2 and the Octo Expansion after that. Splatoon 2 story mode was incredible, because that's the game I never got to play but more mastered. Octo Expansion was incredible, because it was… incredible. But I still liked Splatoon 3 story mode better. Is it because I've played it before? Because I hadn't the one year of unskippable Off the Hook news to make me like them before the DLC (to be fair I didn't know much of Deep Cut too!)? Because it clicked more on me? Honestly I don't care. It's not important, because it's still my preferences. But let met tell you, when the news of Splatoon 3 DLC dropped, I was roaring. Every crumbs of news and trailers widened my life expectancy. I was finally sharing the hype that you felt for Octo Expansion. And…

Two days ago, I played it. And I loved it. Why? Why did I love it where so many people seem disappointed? This will not be an analysis, I'm not good at those, just… Here's how I see things. Also there will be huge spoilers so if you haven't censored the tags for whatever reason, I will hide it beneath a read more because I'm nice.

First, the gameplay. When I heard it was going to be a roguelite, I was intrigued, because it seemed interesting. I was wondering how it was going to play out, more like The Binding of Isaac, or like Hades… Okay I only played those two. And it was like Hades. But I think the best thing to come out of this gameplay is… Well, the fact is every mission from all other story modes (including octo expansion) are pretty much the same in that they have an intended way to be beaten. Sure, for OE and S3 you have a choice of weapons, and there's probably unorthodox ways to finish them (including speedruns), but it's still organised around a specific way to deal with the levels. You go at one point and there you're done. And that's why I will never re-play the story modes I already finished. I know the ropes, so… Why? But here… The gameplay itself doesn't change much. It's an amalgamation of most Splatoon gameplay since now, Salmon Run, Ranked Match, Octo Expansion levels… But the way you APPROACH this gameplay is different and that's why every thing changes. Because you are now free to choose. You don't want a stage? Choose another one, the cost of a good chip and membux not being that punishing, you want a specific type of chip? Go for it! There is so much fun combos to do, I have fun at every run! They told us it was going to be replayable. And they haven't failed to give. Because when I want to replay a game, then I know it's good. Aside of multiplayer games and games made to be replayable (TBOI, Dishonored…), some of favourite games are Half-Life 2 (my favourite game in general), Hollow Knight and Mario & Luigi Bowser's Inside Story. Once you've finished exploring it all, well there is nothing else. But I still want to experience it again. And again. I have tens and even hundreds of hours on each of them. So yeah. If a game makes me want to replay it, I like it! And also… The final fight. The "phase 2" of the final fight. It was probably the most satisfying gameplay in all of Splatoon. Every path you took? Every path you didn't take? It was there. And you could experience it all together and finally finish your first run, empowered by it, in-game and outside. This was so good. I really wish we will get updates like more stages, bosses or even chips, because wow.

Secondly, the atmosphere. This point will be much shorter, but holy shit this game was incredible to be immersed into. The cold and sanitised atmosphere of the Spire? Amazing. Obvious Portal and liminal spaces vibes, but hey. And the music… Really the music makes a lot of it. The final fight music is absolutely incredible, one more time, and the credits theme is probably my favourite credits theme of every Splatoon game and DLC (that VIOLIN, that heckin' VIOLIN). I wouldn't be able to say which one of Octo Expansion and Side Order's atmospheres was my favourite. I guess I'm less sensitive to childhood memories and such but hey. Both DLC's atmospheres were incredible good.

Finally… The sore point of everything I guess, the story. I guess we expected more. Even myself, I expected something darker, deeper, more mysterious and esoteric… Have I been disappointed. No. I understand that some people were, but I am not. And frankly, I feel like I don't have to be. Like what do we really wished for? More octoling lore? Marina's past uncovered? Mature themes and dark atmosphere? I am just describing Octo Expansion. We didn't need Octo Expansion 2.0. Every theme that I've seen wished for? Octo Expansion tackled them, greatly even. So did we really need to do the same thing again? I feel like Splatoon 3 was the great conclusion of the other games' story modes, where all marine life finally united against the common enemy: mammals, the past of Earth's life coming back for its great revival. And it was a spectacular conclusion. And Side Order was Octo Expansion's conclusion. But it wasn't that bombastic, it was more of a calm conclusion, an epilogue of some sort. Marina wasn't in great danger or anything (well she was but less than we expected), we didn't need to expand the damsel in distress role for confirming Marina and Pearl's relation (which was pretty much hinted on greatly without it lmao), we already knew that. We didn't need some dramatic story about Marina's departure's effect on the one she was close to, like some people predicted for Acht. I think some fan comics explored this way better and Nintendo telling their own version would have been disappointing either for it or for the fan comics' versions! We didn't need more insights on Eight, because once again Octo Expansion ALREADY did this. Eight seems happy with their new name and identity, so why should we uncover more? They already won a lot with Octo Expansion and their sacrifices would have been dull if there were reveals on "who they really are".

Nah. Side Order, how I see it, is a story about fixing the damage made in the Octo Expansion. It's a story about recovery. About finally confirming your place in the world and accepting that everything will not be like you think it will. Acht is not there to expose Marina's errors, Acht is there to show how this recovery can work. She symbolises every octoling Marina left when she quit the army and ESPECIALLY every octoling she swore to help. And she's also there because it would have been less interesting to see an octoling we've never seen before, especially since she is an octoling we knew got Kamabo Co.'d! Every palette is someone we already know, an anchor to the world of Splatoon, and for Eight, an anchor to their memories, as the locker was their palette. As they know more and more people, they know more and more where their place in the world is. And the end of your first run? The start of the final boss phase 2? Yeah the music is Pearl, Marina and Acht's. But it is Eight's pulse that got everything back together. Their heart beating made the world beating again. They found freedom, now they found their place in the world. They're finally complete. Like you complete your palette with every chips at once. Octo Expansion final fight was their last fight for freedom. But I think this was their last fight for identity.

But outside of that, I think Order/Smollusk is more than that. More and more we advance through completing the palettes, we learn that Smollusk is the result of Marina's wish for order in her life (and her fellow octolings') and especially the other octolings developers dreams. And I think that's really important, because after that, we learn that why Smollusk still fights us is because it's… alone. And Acht seemingly understands that. You know why this is? Why it doesn't understand Marina's intentions by "betraying" it? Because Marina, as opposed to the other developers and Acht, found someone. She found her partner for life, the love of her life you could say, she found someone else that could offer her something great. And I think the other developers didn't find that companionship, so they had other goals with the Memverse, and Acht, left behind by Marina, felt this loneliness too, taking refuge in music, so that's why she understood what Smollusk felt. I think Splatoon story is a lot about isolation, solitude and loneliness. The (Inkadian) octolings were chased from the surface, living in the underground, isolated and forced into military life. When they risked survival, they stole the great zapfish and we sent then back into the dark. So they retaliated by stealing it again and also kidnapping Callie, separating Marie from the person she holds dearest (while Callie thought she could offer them company and finally uniting back the two people). Octo Expansion was also about isolation from the surface, for everyone involved and Tartar… Well the mammal (and adjacent) survivors don't really have it well, huh? Judd was made immortal, a great lonely situation for one of the last mammals, even if the professor give him Lil Judd for that (isolating the latter from self expression, oops!), Tartar wanted finally someone who could understand the knowledge he was bearing, and in his final instants was longing to return to the professor and for Grizz… We saw what happened in the logs! But this is not where it ends. The first final Splatfest was literally choosing between the Squid Sister, separating one from the other. And when the Splatocalypse happened, we thought it would be the same, that both option were going to be negative. A endless world of anomy where nothing makes sense against a cold and dystopic dictatorship. But we saw Chaos rather meant a world of differences where anyone can be what they want to be and still be reunited with people. So now we see what Order meant: reuniting people by putting them on equal terms. And at the end, that's what you and Smollusk agreed on! He'd be a difficult final boss and you'd be a formidable opponent for him! Splatfests weren't meant to be divisive or anything, it's just a fun way to see what do people choose in their life. So to face loneliness and meet new and fun people, what will you choose? Chaos or Order?

I guess I understand if it wasn't the story you wanted to see. But I liked it either way, as I also struggle with loneliness and finding my place in the world. And as I also like roguelites!

[nevernonline]

✧.* grow as we go; svt smau.

entry #04 the fall of the empire.

synopsis: over the past ten years you've fallen in love many times. one day someone happens to stumble across your journal sitting out on your nightstand and started posting your entries online. after all of your secrets are leaked it's clear things would ever be the same again.

𐦍 paring: svt members x afab! reader.

𐦍 feat: non-idol! svt, (g)-idle minnie&soyeon, oc's

𐦍 genre/s: reader is super angsty low-key, fluffy, sexual themes.

𐦍 content: swearing, bullying, crazy ex's, mentions of sexual relations, some drinking& mary jane 🍃

𐦍 word count: 1.9k

masterlist ▸ 003. two robots fell in love. ▸ 04.5 plan b?

Throwing your phone onto your couch, you let out the biggest sigh your body could manage to put out.

How did things manage to get so out of hand so quickly?

First Joshua and now Minnie, maybe karma really had it out for you this time.

In need of a distraction you started cleaning your apartment, scrubbing off any scuffs and dirt that accumulated from your past. It was something you wished you could do in your personal life, just scrub out all of the bad shit and only move forward.

After spending hours cleaning out the grout from the shower and throwing away old memories from your past in fear that they'd come back to haunt you, a knock came on the front door.

You almost pretended to not hear it, just hoping that whoever decided to show their face to you would just save themselves and walk away, but the knocking persisted.

"Look, I don't really feel like- Oh my god, Seokmin."

His puppy dog eyes stared at you as a greeting and his long arms held a basket full of your favorite things, homemade lemonade, popcorn, cherry sour straws, and even a small stuffed animal.

"Sorry, I tried to text you but you hadn't replied and I got worried. I can just drop this off and let you be alone."

"No, please stay. Thank you for coming over, I just didn't feel like answering my phone anymore."

"Have people been talking about the twitter?"

"Yeah, I got about a thousand text messages from everyone, none that I've opened. Joshua, Jeonghan, Mingyu.. I mean it's fucking insane."

"Well, we can both ignore our phones and watch some rom-coms? I even brought a bag full of mini alcohol bottles and stuff to bake brownies."

Seokmin sniffed the air as he removed his coat and sneakers, stepping into your apartment.

"Stress cleaning?"

"Yeah, I just felt like washing away bad energy."

"Don't worry, I showered before I came."

"Shut up."

Seokmin took it upon himself to pre-heat your oven and get started mixing the ingredients for the chocolate mixture. Trying to find a way to ask you about how you felt, but not wanting to pry.

"Look, we can talk about it, Seok. It's okay."

"No, I just feel bad. I mean everything you wrote is private, you're not entitled to have anyone know your dirty secrets and it's just not fair."

"That's exactly what, Minghao texted me. I think I'm over trying to find out who did it, like maybe if I don't add fuel to the fire and act like it doesn't bother me. I can forget about it. It can't get much worse than it already is."

"Don't let Minnie bother you, y/n. She's just upset, it'll blow over."

"I guess."

Passing time with Seokmin felt like exactly what you needed, he was able to take your mind off of anything negative that was going on, part of his basket you didn't see were the set of matching pajamas with both of your favorite Sanrio characters embroidered on the front. He told you he was saving them for a special day, but today was the perfect time to bring them.

Now with warm brownies made and Seokmin's famous lemonade you sit cuddled on your couch, watching the intro to 10 things I hate about you plastered on the big LED screen.

Your phone buzzed on the table, waking you from being zoned out. a name flashed on the screen, one that wasn't a threat to how happy you've felt the past few hours, Minghao.

"Seok, is it okay that I invited someone?"

"Oh, who is it?"

"Well, Minghao texted me and wanted to hangout. I don't feel like I should shut him out just because of what happened."

"Are you going to tell him to call his dogs off?"

"Yeah, I think I will at least for now."

"Minghao's always been nice, he'll understand."

"I hope so."

After another half hour of watching Kat fall in love with Patrick on your screen and singing along with Seokmin to the movie soundtrack a knock came from your front door.

Unwrapping yourself from the warmth of your friend, you crawled off the couch wrapped in a blanket and ran to answer it.

"I thought I told you not to wear something nice?"

Minghao was dressed in a cozy pair of cargo sweats and a big hoodie, carrying a larger than normal leather tote bag.

"Well, I wasn't about to show up in my boxers. I like your pajamas though."

"Thank you, Seokmin brought them for me. We got matching ones, sort of silly I know. You may laugh."

"No, they look cute. I brought you guys some snacks and wine as a sorry for intruding."

Seokmin's loud voice cheered from your couch.

"Wow, Minghao. If someone doesn't snatch you up soon I might have to. Hi, by the way."

Minghao took your previous spot on the couch, next to Seokmin getting him with a cute handshake.

"How is everything guys?"

"Well, good now. Y/N had sort of a rough morning."

"Yeah, I saw the posts. Did something happen?"

"Well, Minnie freaked out on me of course and I told her to move out. So, I had just been cleaning before Seok came and rescued me."

"Oh, wow. I'm sorry."

"It's alright. It happens I guess."

Seokmin forced Minghao to let you sit in between the middle of them after noticing you searching around the room for the best place to sit.

"Come on, loser."

Your butt found its perfect missing piece sitting between two of your friends both new and old.

"Should we watch Twilight? Minghao's never seen them."

"You've never seen Twilight? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Minghao's eyes opened wider than you had ever seen them, probably embarrassed that the two of you made this little moment about him.

"Stop acting like that's the weirdest thing ever? You guys are crazy."

"Oh my god, you're going to love this Hao."

Seokmin queued up the movie, watching the title sequence splash across the screen as you watched Minghao experience the blue toned film for the first time, catching glimpses at him at all of your favorite parts.

After the movie ended Seokmin was sleeping up against your side, cutely snoring. You tried to subtly remove yourself from him without scaring the daylights out of the by, you woke him up, Minghao was already up and next to your side helping you move the sleeping puppy into your bedroom, so he could get a good nights sleep.

"Thank you."

"I should, get going."

"Oh no, stay here. You can either stay on the couch or you can take Minnie's room, I changed the sheets already."

"What about you?"

"Oh, I'll probably stay up for a while, I have some shit to take care of."

"Are you sure, I'm not intruding?"

"No, shut up. It's late and raining stay here."

"Okay, I'll stay wherever. Thank you."

"No please, stay in the extra room. It's more comfy."

"I think you should, the couch is nice and warm anyway. I like the fireplace."

With a nod you grabbed Minghao a few pillows and an extra toothbrush and snuck away to the room that used to belong to Minnie, packing away her stuff as a final gesture to someone you used to call your best friend.

Minghao, walked through the closed doorway to find you sitting on your wooden floor, tears drying up on your cheeks, looking at photos of your friends.

He placed the two glasses of red wine, beside you and bent to sit criss cross adjacent to you.

"Sorry I woke you up."

"No, you didn't actually. I was just reading on my phone, I usually go to bed pretty late."

"Oh, okay. This is pathetic isn't it?"

"What? Being upset? No, it isn't."

"No, just me, crying over this. I mean I made most of this mess in the first place and here I am crying over people I hurt no matter how badly they hurt me before. I mean, seeing Mingyu and Minnie hanging out, Joshua and Mimi, I just like am making myself a victim when I'm also to blame."

"Y/n, you are a victim in this too. It maybe doesn't feel like it, but just because you hurt someone doesn't mean they get to hurt you back."

"I guess."

"Does Minnie and Mingyu being alone together bug you?"

"No, she's right as much as I hate to admit it. It can't bother me they're friends too, I guess I just didn't see that coming.

Minghao pics up a polaroid photo of you and Joshua wearing matching college sweatshirts, dated September 15.

"Was this your first day of classes?"

Your laugh came after a couple of sniffles, admiring the smiling pair in the photos.

"Yeah, our mom's were best friends growing up and naturally so were we. We got accepted into the same university, so our first day they took far too many pictures of us. I wonder why Minnie has it?"

"Maybe, by mistake?"

"Yeah, maybe. I normally keep all my pictures in a box under my bed."

Something in your gut was telling you that Minnie having that picture of you in her room wasn't by mistake, but you chose to shove it down continuing your trip down memory lane with Minghao.

"Oh my god."

Minghao held up a picture of you, you were standing with Minnie at a halloween party outside with drinks in hand, dressed up as sexy bottles of ketchup and mustard.

"No, that's so embarrassing throw it away."

You tried to grab the picture out of Minghao's grip as he was sprawled across the floor giggling over you dressed up with a red cone on your head.

"I didn't think Ketchup could be so sexy, y/n."

"Shut up, that's awful. I don't even remember that. I look so stupid."

"No you look nice, actually very original for the sexy girl costume trope."

"Ha- Ha, very funny."

Minghao handed you your glass of wine, laughter now dying out as you sat in silence surrounded by polaroids of your past.

"Can I tell you something, y/n?"

"Yeah, always."

"Well, I found out where the first tweet was posted from, not me actually, Wonwoo. It came from your wifi network, so whoever posted it was in your apartment that first night."

A pit came to your gut, the same apartment you were in now, the walls suddenly looked darker and you decided on chugging the alcohol in front of you.

"Do you know anything else?"

"No, just that the network assigned was yours."

"Can we maybe, stop sleuthing just for awhile? I don't know what to do anymore. I'm really thankful you guys wanted to help me, I just, I get a feeling there's more to this that I don't know or even want to find out right now."

Minghao just shook his head, holding up the bottle of wine asking you if you needed more, which of course you obliged.

"Want to watch something with me?"

"More twilight?"

"No, not more twilight. Seokmin wouldn't be happy to miss that. Maybe, Princess Diaries?"

"I love that movie."

"Me too, come on."

You crawled into the bed, tapping the covers asking him to sit next to you.

"Turn the light off, come on I don't bite."

"Can I confess something embarrassing? I used to think the brother in this movie was someone from the Beatles."

"Oh my god, me too. And that the mom from the parent trap was Princess Diana."

Minghao laughed, reliving a part of his childhood climbing into the bed next to you, afraid to get too close.

You on the other hand were as comfortable as ever, cuddling under the covers, clutching a pillow in your lap watching Anne Hathaway on screen.

By the time Mia was getting her makeover Minghao and you were sleeping peacefully side by side.

✧.* taglist: @sun-daddy-yoriichi,@hipsdofangirl @kissesfrmwonwoo, @minhui896, @wonwooz1, @porridgesblog, @punkhazardlaw, @jasssy051,

[l3visthighs]

Hey lovely Alyssa ✨

I hope you're doing well!

The Leviana fanarts you post are always amazing & I wondered if you could tell us more about your OC Ilyana? I'm really curious about this cutie!

Smooches 😘

Val, hi! 💕 how’re you doing?

Thank you so much for your question about Ilyana. It makes my heart so happy when people show an interest in her.

I have a little story I’ve been working on for a while for her & Levi. It’s just never seen the light of day because I don’t have a lot of confidence in my writing/storytelling. So it’s been more of a project just for me. :’)

I’ll insert a few paragraphs of it here though just to give a little more insight about her (her background, her personality, etc) <3

Year 843: 

That day had finally come; the day that Ilyana Hoover dreaded every single day since her adopted brother, Bertolt, had told her that he wanted to become a warrior. Today was the day she watched him inherit the Colossal Titan.  She couldn't believe it, she didn't want to. Thirteen years. Thirteen years is all she had left with him. For years she had tried to talk him out of it. But here she is now. Watching him train for his upcoming mission in Paradis with the now Armored Titan and Female Titan. She's going with them on their mission. She had already decided that long ago; she told herself no matter what the outcome was today that she would be there for him. She knows her brother. He's emotional, sometimes weak, and anxious. No matter what role they decide to give her in the mission, she would do it, she would go. If only to protect him. 

"I really don't think you should come along, Ilyana. It's going to be dangerous. We don't know what these island devils are capable of. Stay here and look after mom. She needs you." He pleads with her that evening. 

"You're really lecturing me over it being dangerous? Bert, you're scared of your own shadow most of the time" She sighs. "If I don't go with you and something happens to you, I wouldn't be able to live with that. I already made up my mind. I don't trust Reiner to protect you, either. You and I both know how hot headed and emotional he can be at times. Mom will be just fine. She's got dad here to watch over her. You know he'd never let her roam the streets alone." 

He shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. She's right. He knows she is; and he knows there's no convincing her otherwise. His sister has always been stubborn. A bit hot headed herself at times. He knows she just wants the best for him. She's always been protective of him. But he can't help but wish she'd believe in him, just this one time. He knows he can handle himself. He's been through the training, he knows what to expect; what he's getting himself into. 

Ilyana always knew she was different from the others of her kind. Born a Marleyan but adopted at a young age by an Eldian family; the Hoover family. They’d found her alone on the street one evening and decided to take her in; a few years later came Bertolt. She never knew her real parents, nor what had happened to them. Every Marleyan here was disgusted by the Eldians. She had watched her family be talked down to, pushed around and spit at walking down the streets. But growing up and living in an Eldian family made her feel much differently towards them. She had read the history books, heard all of the rumors; But she refused to believe they were all as bad as the people of Marley had made them out to be. She loved the Hoovers. They had always treated her like their own. The least she could do in return for everything they'd done for her is watch after their son, her brother; blood relation or not. She would protect him with her life. 

————————

TLDR: Ilyana Hoover is a Marleyan; she was adopted by the Hoovers at a young age. She’s extremely protective over her brother, Bertolt. She finds herself feeling super sympathetic towards all Eldians; including the ones on the island. Shes confident, not afraid to hold her own ground/speak up for herself; but can also be extremely hot headed & rash. (Which causes for some bickering with Levi later on in the story) she travels to the island with the Warriors as a spy.

(Also all artwork of them is done by the lovely @/catyypss)

[sattorntempura]

:) i would really appreciate it if you gave my oc a chance. If not, it's okay. *cries*

Hey, peeps. Lately, I've been going through this uuuuugly artblock for my main project. (This is my first post, scary, lol.. really nervous)

So, a few months back, I drew a Devil May Cry OC. The images are under the 'more' tab, but i would really appreciate it if you read this first. With this art block going on and the urge to draw something other than my main/serious project, I decided to make a small comic of my OC's childhood and how he ended up meeting the main/canon characters/crew.

And if you're new to the DMC world, hello, welcome! I hope this little comic will encourage you to check out the official games, it's pretty fun!

Try to guess who I ship him with... Hey, don't look at my pfp! That's cheating!

So yeah, there's going to be some sketches/panels of this ship. Dw, nothing too explicit/graphic. It's fluff, lol. I think that's what they call it? There's going to be more information regarding the dmc - oc comic in a future post.

I know there's a lot of different opinions when shipping an oc with a canon character, so that's why I added this little 'more' tab/bar below so in case you're not interested, you can scroll away :) for those who choose to stay and continue on, thank you.

My oc's name is Ezra. He was created when a cool friend of mine invited me to RP the DMC5 storyline with them. I was kinda nervous at first since it was my first time to ever RP with someone. I got the hang of it, though! And it was fun! (The next/future post will provide more information of that if anybody is interested. Since it's kinda the reason why Ezra exists in the first place.) I am not sure if I will include the RP events in this comic, since like I've mentioned, it took place in the DMC5 storyline, and its quite a lottt. Just like the canon game. So I might draw the day (i mean the in-game time) after the Qliphoth was taken down. Or summarize the DMC5 storyline. There's still a lot of time to think about it since I'm going to start off with the background of this character, then when he becomes an adult, and then when he meets the crew.

☝️ This is how the cover of my oc's DMC comic will look like. The title is blurred out because I am still debating whether I should change it or not. Lol, it's kinda edgy, I might keep it that way.

☝️These right here are adult/present Ezra and a few panels of Vergil. I am still experimenting with the way I draw Vergil since I want to have him look a little closer to the game than the way he looks in manga. (Which is hard since I prefer drawing the exact style of any series official art... Because if I do it in my own version, it never looks like the character. So yes, this is a challenge.)

The drawing with Ezra's full body is supposed to be Ezra holding his scythe over his shoulder, but I gave up on finishing it since I didn't like the way his coat looked. You can even tell from the different coats he has in the other panels/images...

The image with Ezra getting food poisoning was from eating Dante's food. This idea stems from all those memes with Dante creating unidentified matter, whereas other characters like Vergil make decent food.

The first image and 3rd image are actually linked together, hehe. I wonder if any of you know the tilted towers reference? Lol

☝️Another Vergil sketch. He is laid next to Ezra in bed. (You can see the pillow that Ezra is cuddling with peeking in that image, lol). This moment is related to Vergil's nightmares.

☝️ The first image out of the two is one out of the 2 closest friends BEFORE the DMC5 events. I think you will really like them. They've put a huge impact on Ezra's life and are the very reason for the way/who he is today. I still don't have a design for the other friend, that's why it's not provided here.

The second image is just baby Ezra, not having a clue what the adults are talking about. The adults definitely didn't call him that...

☝️Lastly, this is my reaction once I created this DMC OC and decided to ship him with Vergil. I have no clue why Samsung does this to my images once edited, lol.

The same friend mentioned before also had me create an OC for a game that they play, and I failed to not grow attached to this character. (What!? I created them. They're like my own children now!) I might show u guys how he looks like when I finish his design.

If you guys have any questions, feel free to hit that, uh, *checks profile*, Ask me anything button, I will try my best to respond. If I don't respond, it's because I am still a boomer to this app and don't know how to operate it. Another reason is because the answer to your question may be a spoiler.

Like I've mentioned before, information about the comic itself will be explained in the next post. I don't spam post, so don't worry about getting lost in my profile trying to look for more information. I will try to have a pinned(?) post, if this app allows me, where I can add links like the way I've seen other users on here do it.

Haha, I add lazy watermarks (even though my art ain't that worthy) because I've seen small artist get their art clapped by a-hole users without permission. This has also happened to me, but it was yeeeaaarrrsss ago. This is why I don't post much of my art nowadays. Especially with the "art" bot-stealing going around. I need to find a better way to not let it happen to my art ever again.

Thank you for taking the time to view this, I really appreciate it! If you are interested in my OC's journey in the DMC world, feel free to follow me. You might even see my art growth/process between the very start of the comic to the very end of it! I hope it gets better... lol, watch it get worse- they slowly transform into stickmen HAHA

[khunyuki]

"I've lived my life with blade and you always in my mind"

a. You will always have a special place in my heart

Synopsis: Having the infamous Vice-Captain of the Third Division of the Defense Force as your fiance isn't easy especially when the rest of the force expects you to be strong enough to be worthy to be by his side along with your family demanding you to finally get married and give them an heir. The continuous onslaught of expectations and demands from all sides keeps you up at night when you think about how you don't really have a good relationship with him. Or at least that's what you thought... Her: I've loved you ever since I first saw you Him: I've loved you even before I met you

Pairing/s: Soshiro Hoshina x Fiancee!OC

Notes: I am posting this first because I thought it would be better to show their good relationship first than the planned main story. Soshiro is down bad for his fiancee.

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Childhood Sweethearts, School Romance

Masterlist: TOC

One of the happiest days in Uzui Kagami's life was the day, she and Soshiro became engaged as children. During her earliest memories, she absolutely adored her parents' relationship and dreams to have the same once she got older. To her surprise, a visit to some place other than her house changed the trajectory of her life! Why? Because her dream has finally come true! At least half of it did.

From that moment onwards, she would often visit the Hoshina estate to train with them and be with her fiance. Poor Kagami was so shy that despite this being what she wanted, she couldn't even bring herself to come near him, satisfied with just watching him from afar.

Kagami would hide behind a pillar or a wall and watch the Hoshina brothers train, with her eyes on Soshiro and Soshiro only. She would admire his skills, his looks, his growth, and his persistence. Not that she could tell him that, she couldn't even be in the same room as him without clamming up.

For the first few weeks of introduction, she would gaze at him from afar until his older brother could no longer handle it. Soichiro-niisan dragged her out of her hiding spot like a wet kitten and placed her on the sidelines to observe closely. She tried to run away but ultimately failed from his tight grip.

"Kagami-chan, you don't have to peek from afar when you could just watch here"

Soichiro-niisan tried to smile softly in order to calm the girl he just dragged over. But all it did was to make her cower and fidget uncomfortable while looking down.

"Don't bully her, nii-san"

Soshiro, with his two bamboo swords, hit his brother with their swordstyle mercilessly.

"Ouch! Wait! Soshiro! I'm sorry so please stop already!"

Having been caught off guard with no weapons, Soichiro would've accept his hits if it didn't hurt so much. It was rare to see this side of his brother, after all.

Once he stopped, only then did Soshiro turn to look at Kagami. She had long since stopped cowering and was now admiring him. Was he her prince charming or her knight in shining armor? Maybe both, cause him saving her made her like him even more.

"You can just stay here and watch"

He said so coolly with much composure and returned to his training. Kagami could only blush, trying to hide how giddy she was feeling.

.

As a child, Hoshina Soshiro didn't bother to understand what his family were talking about if it wasn't related to training or kaijus. He would attempt, yes, but his young brain still isn't able to comprehend it well.

They said something about an engagement between him and someone he will meet that day. He doesn't mind if it's something his parents decide for him. Arranged marriages are common like his older brother who already has a fiancee too.

It truly dawned on him from the moment his eyes laid on a particular shy girl that just entered the room. She was hiding behind her father but would peek out several times. He could only catch glimpses of her but he could already feel the pounding of his heart.

It was weird. He never experienced such having his heart beating so fast when resting. Was it because she reminds him of a squirrel, so cute and fidgety? He didn't know but when their eyes met, it felt like arrow shot through his heart.

It was love at first sight.

Soshiro was blushing madly for the very first time and his older brother doesn't help at all with all his teasing. Maybe it was the commotion that his brother was making that set their engagement in stone.

Cause when Kagami looked up from her bow, he was already avoiding her eyes. Especially once he saw her hopeful face and sparkly eyes. It struck a critical hit to his heart.

From that moment onwards, he would see her around the estate. She would sometimes be training on the dojo or watch him and his brother train from afar. Whenever she's watching, he couldn't help but take glimpses of her causing him to be distracted and lose cue his older brother's teasing.

As much as he wanted to look cool, he couldn't really do it after losing to his brother, can he? The saving grace for him would be when his brother picked her up and put her down next to him. It annoyed him when he did so cause how could his brother touch his fiancee like that. Soshiro was able to look cool by 'defending' her from his brother.

Be that as it may, it was truly bad for his young heart to have her around him like this. How could he remain calm when she's been staring at him the whole time. If he did talk to her while looking at her face, he can't guarantee not stuttering in front of her.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~AGE 5~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

It didn't take long for the two of them to be close enough to feel comfortable with each other's presence. They could just sit on the porch without talking and they're already content with it. Occasionally, they would spar until it became a bonding moment just for the two of them.

Most of their progress was all thanks to Soichiro-niisan who decided that it was his duty to be as meddlesome as possible in his brother's lovelife. He, not only would egg on his little brother by calling him weak, but also tease him in front of his crush. It contributed to the explosive growth of Soshiro when his task is to keep his older brother's mouth shut tightly from embarrassment.

Soshiro would continue to lose over and over again but demands to have a rematch even if it meant having tantrums in front of Kagami. He knew he was losing face by doing so but he atleast wanted to look cool yet his brother kept denying him of that.

Much to Soichiro-niisan's surprise and pleasure, his taunts did not only work on his little brother but also his little sister-in-law. As clueless she may be, she could tell if the words being said were an insult to her fiancee. Kagami would bring out her meanest look and glare at her big brother-in-law.

During those times, Kagami would scold him for bullying his little brother and say that Soshiro is the best swordsman in the world despite being so young and he could beat him because he's always been working hard and putting in effort more than anyone else. It would only be at the end that she realizes that it was all a bait from the smirk on his face as he leave the two blushing figures alone.

It still took a while for them to be close enough to make eye contact with being a mess. But atleast they got to talk to each other as a result.

To Hoshina Soshiro, it was the beginning of something new.

To Uzui Kagami, it was the start of her dream come true.

It was the age of innocence where seeds have been planted, not knowing what kind of fruit it will bear.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~AGE 7~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Two years after their engagement, they were now a bit more mature yet still childish. They understand that they have duties to perform and live up to expectations of the adults. Such burdens, when introduced to children was a lot of pressure to say the least.

Soshiro acknowledging to himself that he is a reject compared to his perfect brother. Only his persistence to wield the sword was his salvation.

Kagami having to face countless trials not knowing that it might never end in the pursuit of perfection. In hopes of being acknowledged by her family despite her grief.

Just last year, Kagami's mother died along with her unborn baby brother. It was an unfortunate incident where a kaiju appeared near the hospital on the day of her checkup and they got caught in the aftermath. Ever since then, her father became a different person along with her other clan members.

The shift in the atmosphere was so obvious that even Kagami, as dense as she is, could feel it. She was restricted from visiting the Hoshina estate in order to prepare herself as the sole heir to the head of the clan. Many times she wished to run away but she couldn't do so because whenever she got caught, more punishment would just await her.

Her solace was when the Hoshinas would come to visit. They would dress her up and tell her to smile and act like nothing happened to not disgrace her family any further. In which, she does so without question cause just meeting her fiancee was enough for her.

Soshiro felt a pleasant surprise with how Kagami welcomed him to her home with much excitement but maybe that was just him missing her as it has been a long time since they last met each other.

As they were given the time to be alone, he knew that it was an act shown to the people around them. Only with him does she show her real face, as does he. Their comfort is with each other, comrades in their struggles at their young age.

In the place where Hoshina Soshiro believes that he is a reject, to Uzui Kagami he is perfect just the way he is.

In the place where Uzui Kagami has to be perfect in every way, to Hoshina Soshiro her imperfections are part of her charms.

The seeds have been nurtured and sprouted, taking root into the deepest pits of their hearts.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~AGE 13~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Middle school is the place where young teens start to experience such things called hormones. Spring is the moment of encounters but it is also the season of love.

Kagami doesn't think that being in middle school would change anything as it is just a small part of her life. She didn't think it was as important as her life back at home. That's what she try to tell herself because it's been over a year and she never had any friends yet.

It doesn't matter does it, she thought. But in reality, she blames her shy personality and being an introvert for making her lose out on things. Her pessimistic attitude doesn't help as it only makes things worse.

Hormones were the worst thing ever as it developed her body in the most uncomfortable ways like the sudden growth of her chest and the hellish pain of losing blood on a monthly basis. It also messes up her mind by giving her complicated thoughts and the sudden influx of emotions was enough to make her crazy as she has to act like nothing is happening.

There was one thing she believes in though. Love. It was something she already experienced herself and will continue to do so in the future. This age only gives her fantasies of what she wants their relationship to be like if she gets the courage to make a move.

"What are you thinking to make you smile like that?"

Soshiro asked as he long put down his book in order to observe her. Since when? She didn't know but being caught in the act itself was enough to make her feel embarrassed.

"I-It's nothing!"

While she tried to cover her face with the book on her hands, Soshiro pretended to think by placing his thumb and index finger on his chin before he revealed a mischievous grin.

"Were you... Thinking about me? Even though I'm right in front of you?"

Hoshina Soshiro struck a homerun! If only the ground could swallow her whole so that she could hide, but there is no hole to hide inside the library. She had to settle with pressing the book closer to her face as that's the only way she could hide.

"You're so cute~"

Soshiro chuckled with his eyes open as she fidgets around and didn't know what to do. Can a human being possibly melt? Cause she's combusting so much she could melt.

"Please stop teasing me"

She let go of her book and buried her face in her arms on the table to hide her burning face. It was a futile attempt as she was already caught but she still did it anyways. At least let her keep her dignity!

She could hear him getting up from his seat and sitting beside her. His fingers brushing her hair and tucking it behind her burning ears.

"It's true though"

He paused and she couldn't help but take a peek at the rustling beside her. He was in the same position as hers yet peeking at her with his eyes open, showing that soft and sweet smile that is exclusively for her eyes only. Maintaining eye contact to show the seriousness of his words.

"For me, you're the prettiest girl in the entire world"

Uzui Kagami.exe has stopped working.

Hoshina Soshiro.exe has also stopped working.

Thank goodness it was only the two of them in the library at this hour, otherwise, it would be the listeners who dies at second-hand embarrassment from their flirting.

The buds of youth quivers at its desire to bloom.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~AGE 15~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Hoshina Soshiro has made it a habit to tease his fiancee whenever possible. He couldn't help it when her reactions are so cute and amusing. He feels proud to being the only one with the right to see her like that.

He often smirks and act smug in front of his classmates and the other boys in their school, those he clearly knew has a blatant crush on his fiancee. Sometimes he wishes that she knows just how popular she is so she could feel confident in herself but at the same time he's glad she doesn't know.

It was always clear as day that she favors him more than any other, to him and to the people around them. To others, she would grace a polite smile and only answer their questions professionally. With him, she would laugh at his jokes and engage in conversations. Showing off that sweet smile that captivates anyone who sees it, including Soshiro.

Soshiro didn't know how many times he had to control himself from glomping at her and keeping her by his side, somewhere only he can see. The same smile that critically hit his heart on the first day they met continues to do so every single day, each time getting more powerful.

When he reminisces on their first meeting to now, he could see the improvement on their relationship for they had grown closer than before. If in the future, they continue to be together while working and get married then have kids---.

Stop! He's getting ahead of himself when they hadn't even hold hands yet... Wait... They haven't hold hands yet?

"Soshiro? Soshiro! Are you okay? You suddenly slapped yourself"

Asked Kagami with eyes filled with concern at his unexpected actions, not knowing she was the cause of it.

"It was nothing"

"Eh? Are you sure? That looks painful though"

She lifted her arm so her hand could touch the growing bruise on his cheeks. The feeling of her fingers gingerly touching his cheeks like it was something fragile and precious felt like static so he winced.

"It is painful! Come on, let's go to the infirmary to dress it okay?"

She immediately held his hand like it was a natural thing to do and dragged him to the infirmary. Soshiro felt stupid at his earlier thought. Who said they haven't hold hands yet? They were doing it now, weren't they?

Still, he hopes she doesn't turn around to look at him so she wouldn't see just how red his face is.

Since then, Soshiro keeps making excuses to touch her hand. He doesn't need to since she'll gladly let him do so anytime.

You must give it sufficient nutrients in order to bloom.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~AGE 18~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Ever since they were children, they've been training hard to join the defense force as their ultimate goal. To slay kaijus, serve their country, and make their family proud.

<Defense Force Screening Exam Part 2 Venue>

After passing the written exams, Uzui Kagami and Hoshina Soshiro are confident in their abilities to pass the second part of the exams as well.

"Are you nervous?"

Soshiro asked the girl beside him as they stand in front of the venue, squeezing her hand in comfort.

"Just a little bit"

Kagami placed her free hand on her chest, not only was she nervous of the exams but also the thought of encountering new people.

"Me too. But we've been working hard for this for a very long time, haven't we?"

Soshiro despite being nervous himself cheered her up. In doing so, cleared both his and her worries.

"You're right"

Giving one last squeeze on each other's hands, they walked inside and took the test.

.

The two of them settled inside a cafe as they revealed the envelopes that will change their lives.

"Somehow, i'm getting nervous that my hands are shaking"

Kagami said as she attempted to stop her shaking, the tension was making her hands clammy and sweaty.

"Do you want to open it now?"

Soshiro was calm, seeing her this fussy once more felt like his nervousness was transferred to her instead of him. He felt guilty but still thinks she was cute like this.

"No matter the outcome, i'll still be proud of you"

He tried to comfort her with his words though it somehow only deepened her frown.

"I can't have that. We have to pass together"

With deep concentration, she took her envelope in her hands and opened it. Though struck by her resolve, he could only smile and shake his head, copying her actions.

Uzui Kagami/Hoshina Soshiro, as a result of you satisfactory performance, you have PASSED the exam.

A moment of silence before...

"We did it! We passed!"

With a rare outburst of joy, Kagami hurriedly moved out her seat to his and tackled him with a hug. Soshiro was expecting them to both pass but it truly does bring him joy when she expresses her happiness so well.

It was one of the rare instances that he sees of her initiating things. And he was indulging in it.

"Let's celebrate this occasion with some Mont Blanc and coffee"

Kagami called for the waiter and gave their orders. At the same time, she went back to her seat after recovering from her high. It felt like they could hear each other's thoughts as they both bowed to each other.

"Let's continue to work together from now on. Please take care of me"

Rewarding their hard work and efforts, the flower finally bloomed.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~Early 20's~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Kagami and Soshiro joined the same division and stayed there together, having only each other's backs. It wasn't without struggle for them as they both specialize in sword slaying. Kagami was more flexible of the two as her precision and accuracy was better in long distance range so she could easily pick up a gun, but still she prefers to use swords if she could.

On one particular day, she heard her fellow officers making fun of her and her fiancee. It would've been fine if they were insulting her only but they also had to insult him. She was usually calm and quiet, preferring to keep to herself but she would never let anyone who insults Soshiro continue to yap their mouths.

"Please take that back! Soshiro-san has been working hard this entire time and putting in double the effort more than anyone else! If you give him a chance, you will understand that he can shine even brighter when he uses his swordsmanship!"

Hoshina Soshiro wonders why there was a crowd forming just outside the training room, until he heard a familiar voice inside of it. That voice, usually so calm and quiet to the point of whisper, was loud enough to pique the attentions of passersby. It wasn't only her uncharacteristic outburst that was eye-catching but also the words she's saying were. For it was filled with praises for him.

Once Soshiro realized that he was the topic of the conversation, he felt shy but he wanted to stop her even more. He doesn't want her to fight their fellow officers nor does he want her to get scolded by their superiors.

After wrestling his way through the crowd, he finally dragged her away, offering apologies on her behalf. Even if they did deserve the scolding they received from her, and doesn't really want to apologize to them, he had to do so out of courtesy.

Once he got her away to somewhere private, she was still quite upset, eyes glistening with unshed tears. She refused to look at his face and look down.

"I appreciate you defending me, Kagami. However, it's not like you to be that angry"

Soshiro urges her to look at him, to stare at his eyes by placing his hands on her cheeks. Once she look up, he could see the sad expression on her face. She was sad for him.

"They went too far. They don't know how great of a person you are. You're the best when it comes to close combat and slaying small kaijus, you could eliminate more than any of them could yet they still..."

"Thank you"

He wanted her to say more but her current state wouldn't let her. She was a bawling mess in his hands as he wipes away her tears. It was her first time crying in front of him yet he felt happy. All because she was thinking of him, all of it was for his sake and never yours.

The truth is, he was so incredibly touched by his fiancee's actions. It almost moved him to tears himself. Everyone wanted him to stop, his superiors and his family, yet she hopes that he could keep going. She pushes him to do what he loves despite people saying otherwise.

If they weren't at work right now, or if they were somewhere more private than the place he chose, he would've kissed her on the lips. He just settled for the forehead instead then he hugs her while patting her head. He whispered once again.

"Thank you"

The little flower happily showers in the rain filled with love.

[asterefflores]

I saw the post about angst in your story. I want to put a comment but mine might be just too long and this app is just not ready for it xD, so I drop it here.

For me, the angst in ur story tilts towards the darker side. It's not just sad, unhappy stuff. I don't know how to articulate it in human language (istg), but I find it remarkably balanced and just feels right. It feels fitting, somehow.

Each arc in your story unfolds at the perfect moment, revealing itself in due course (what am i talking about). Tbh, your story might be considered heavy. I said this numerous times already (maybe) but I love the world-building in it (even tho my brain needs to restart every time).

The characters' backgrounds and the reasons why they are in their current state are intriguing. Moreover, although you introduce certain angsts, what I admire is that you never dwell on them excessively. They are relatable, logical, and not exaggerated or cringe-worthy. They are in the right amounts.

It's like, the story holds multiple layers of surprises each time you unveil the answers to the readers' questions of "why." Also, the angst within goes beyond than just sadness, contain/hiding various emotions and elements of irony.

I remember how the other readers and I went crazy (for fun) with theories in the comments when it was first revealed that Cale had a connection to the Secret Kingdom. We all anticipated something light and fluffy, but oh my goodness, jahahshfhf it took a darker turn that caught us off guard in the most unexpected moment. I love that aspect, and the transitions between each arc are incredibly smooth.

I also love every one of your original characters, (wait you already knew this ajshfkh) but duh, I've never had this much love or enthusiasm for fanfic before. I have a huge crush on your art and writing. It's therapeutic for me to see and read them. Thank you for the artwork and stories, even your daily shenanigans at your office @Xwitter are entertaining to follow up. Love isn't enough to describe how fascinated I am with your work.

I know, I throwing so many compliments for you on this one. I can't help it. I hope you don't mind🧍🏻‍♀️if you mind, I'd still going to do it. So I hope you still don't mind.

Please have a good day 🍀 (Please rest...)

I like to keep the characters realistic with logical responses in any case according to their traits and their back stories and whatnot, I don't like dwelling on anything too much in the plot, sure the angst part is important but if used too much it'll ruin the story not only for readers but also for me lol, it'll feel like I'm forcing it on the characters when, logically thinking, they wouldn't stay depressed for long or behave in certain dramatic ways, based on the way their brain works and all.

And yeah, well, my fanfic was indeed meant to be simple at first you know, but I naturally turn any plot I write heavy and dark with time, and it gets worse gradually but I try to hold back and be reasonable before I mess up at some point lolol

I didn't know you find my transitions between each arc smooth, I'm really happy and thank you for letting me know, all this time I stare at my stories and ask myself "Are there even arcs? Isn't it all a mess? Does anyone notice the transition? Is there even a transition?" Then laugh at my own writing and say it is what it is and keep writing anyway while confident that I'm doing everything wrong somehow XD

And you know, when I introduced OCs in my fanfic I was very sure no one gonna care or pay attention to their parts (except maybe my close friend lol) so I'm really glad to see some readers come to love them eventually, though I think Tristan is getting most love than the rest but that's expected considering his character and his role with Roksoo and Cale lol, I expected many readers would hate his role as their father but now the majority is cheering for him xDD

About my office shenanigans, you just made me recall how my followers on Instagram used to like and anticipate my stories about my daily life at work lolol I didn't think anyone would find joy in them also on twitter/X but glad you enjoy my comical work life 🤝🏻

Lastly, ofc I don't mind, at all, you don't know how many times I read your message and made me smile the whole time, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me 💕💕💕

And I'm trying to rest, I think I'm resting— ok, the fact I don't even know if I'm resting says enough lol but I'm working on it *cough

Thank you again and take care you too, have a good day 🌸🌸

[occasional-pyrrhon]

I need to know your most unhinged headcanons about Pyrrhon. Idk if you already have a post like this, but I need to know.

YAY YAY YAY OK. OK EVERY THING I'VE EVER THOUGHT ABOUT HTIS GUY LET'S GO. MILLION PAGE LONG POST UNDER THE CUT

OK so what is this thang in the first place right. I think he's an alien. HEAR ME OUT GUYS HEAR ME OUT. So space seems really weird and vaguely eldritch in the worldbuilding right, the Kraken and the Pirates' appearances being robotic along with the Aurum, who apparently just Happened one day. I think he also Happened one day and just crashed landed onto earth meteor style, either coming from the sun itself or being the Aurum's flawed attempt at mimicking a god that got too out of control and developed free will. I mean he has bright green eyes and looks nothing like the other gods. Even HADES wears CLOTHES man. Fitting with space being mostly outside the domain of the gods, this weird little mini sun man was able to claim the Sun God title because no one else was using it, which is why the gods themselves are torn on if he's one of them. He isn't immortal but he does age slower than normal, he's a fairly recent annoyance among all the divine discourse

Him and Arlon are brothers! Sorta. They met as kids without any apparent families and Pyrrhon theorizes that they're connected, which Arlon goes along with. So they kinda *become* brothers in a way with my headcanons? Ja. They start out being kinda frenemies who don't really get along and are just sticking with this theory to figure out their pasts but they end up truly having the brothers relationships and being at eachothers' backs. Everyone else is shocked to learn about this every single time since they're such opposites. Arlon lends stability and Pyrrhon lends freedom and encourages leniency towards the whole "loyalty" thing, which evidently means less to him. 😌

The other popular headcanon I like is that his flame aura is controlled by his emotions. He can make it flare up for dramatic effect or cool it down if he needs to, but it's typically involuntary. It's usually not harmful to people, though he can easily burn things if he isn't paying attention and he's always warm to the touch. If he's calm it simmers down. If he's really, truly upset or hopeless it goes out. If he's excited or angry it burns brighter. If it turns white hot and hurts to the touch, you should probably run. :)

He's trans. "How is he 7ft tall?" Divine HRT will do that to you. "Out of everyone in the cast who would be way more fitting-" I like him. "Wasn't there something in smash about the gods' physical forms-" I do what I want always all the time forever.

OKAY so it's tough sometimes with characters who are intended to be insane with no further context because on the one hand that can be kinda fucked but on the other hand OUHHHHH. crazy guy who loses control to the orb was such a weird adhd awakening for me but baby if it wasn't an awakening. SO putting aside that it's obviously exaggerated and he was probably just intended to be insane with no nuance, I headcanon him as autistic and adhd with probably an array of Other Shit going on that I'm not qualified to pin down without feeling like it may be insulting. my mental illness pilled folks give your takes below or don't if you're uncomfortable with attatching stuff to characters like this because that's very justified I just hyperfixate on and relate to the worst specimens possible o7 you would not believe how many ocs I have that are just "let's do this bitch again and deconstruct all the dehumanization these guys always get while we're at it" follow my main artblog with my ocs plug plug plug plug

I think he would hate Hades as the apex of the irresponsibility and evil of the gods. HOWEVER Pyrrhon x Hades is just inherently super funny to me so its tough I kinda need to reconsile them. MY HEADCANON is that they dated for a bit when Pyrrhon didn't have a vendetta against the gods yet and was going after cred then when Palutena and Medusa yuri-divorced Hades felt the urge to one-up Medusa in some way so he ended things with Pyrrhon by saying he's homophobic. This in turn put Pyrrhon on a brief stint of homophobia that he thankfully recovered from when he started to listen to Limp Bizkit (unironically in every way of course) and decided that Fred Durst is the most beautiful man on the planet. Or will be. Kid Icarus ancient Greece with Nintendo you know how it is.

I'm growling and pacing ominously with a shadow over my eyes all the time over his underdeveloped motivations BUT from what we're given of his respect for Pit and his vendetta against the gods along with the heroic act I feel like he's kinda with Dark Pit on the idea of the gods constantly throwing everything off balance BUT the critical difference that turns him into a villain is that he thinks that if a true hero like HIM were the most powerful god he could fix all of this! See see HIS indulgence in the violence and warring is justified he doesn't WANNA incinerate the angel but it's just for the greater good. Fool tried to end the cycle of violence by becoming part of it!!!!!!! Everyone point and laugh!!!!!!!!

He's smart but he's also a dumbass but he can actually be a genius under the right circumstances but he's so so stupid. Right. He would put together a computer on his own from nothing but Vibes then think YouTube is a platform exclusively for fnaf letsplays because its the first thing he clicked on and he doesn't know how to search. He can determine his location by looking at the stars he also got lost in the department store yesterday. He can tell you about the Aurum for two hours he doesn't remember what he ate for lunch yesterday so he answers with som shit like the essence of heroism in the sandwich of destiny. He's so me he's all of us in a way .

He has mild psychic powers and he is NOT good at them 💔 he taught himself short range telepathy hence why he only really talks to the others in person until he gets his power up. He also tried to learn how to give visions and prophecies recieved upon touching his gem but it kinda just traps you in his adhd mindzone where he tries to keep up the illusion with cardboard cutouts on sticks.

Okay post canon time! Horray!!!!! The shorter more hyperspecific headcanons are after this. Tw for trauma and parallels to abuse until this section is done we're in projecting lane now.

A lot of details of what happens to him post-Aurum vary depending on what I'm drawing/writing at the moment like if he gets out on his own or has to be rescued after the war with Hades resolves, but generally he's trapped with them for a while with wavering control over himself. He develops an intense phobia of space and the Aurum afterwards despite them once being his biggest interests (<- PROJECTING.) His sense of personhood is very disrupted - he wasn't just controlled, he was assimilated and became one in the same with them with only shards of him holding on and resisting. He goes between never wanting to encounter them again to being nothing but a vessel who *must* return to them again no matter what it does to him, and he doesn't remember how to be a person without them controlling him. He completely stops believing he's a god in any way. He often zones out with the instinct that something else will be at the wheel until someone snaps at him and he's like huh wuzzat. Then probably plays it off as being inconsiderate since what people expect of him is easier than the truth.

He has the belief that the Aurum are attempting to take him again, even if they end up destroyed they're too powerful to him now to end that easily. They're *all* and they're *everywhere*. Since a lot of ptsd symptoms can feel like losing control it compounds quickly.

He has a habit of covering his mouth when he's upset. The feeling of those words and that smile stick with him.

I also think he'd have pretty messed up misconceptions towards "redeeming himself". With his broken identity he clings onto the idea of being fearless and acting the same way he used to, otherwise they "won". He would do stuff like accompanying Pit on a space mission and acting like it's no sweat while intermittently sneaking off to hide the breakdown. Why should he be afraid? It was *his* fault after all, and if he can't stop himself from being hurt it's just going to be *his* problem.

He starts wearing clothes to hide the scars he recieved on his chest, back, and limbs. He wants to look like NOTHING has changed, as much as possible. He starts returning to his old Nothingcore fit the more he heals from the events, because he doesn't like the feeling of clothes in the first place. he wears fingerless gloves and leg warmers because he can't stand the alternatives to either.

He also has a cane that's supposed to look enough like a staff to pass as one. His legs have been Pixels for the past couple years ok. Either way he's insecure about it and mostly uses it private, once again passing off his troubles in the department as his typical cringefail self don't worry about it 😁 👍

There's some mechanical alterations inside of him and like. I don't know how to explain my vision here except imagine the junji ito stuff turning into spirals story but with math and geometry and such. You can plug a bluetooth chip into his back scar and he's a literal wifi hotspot now. The quadratic formula is hidden somewhere in his femur as a fun easter egg. A lot of the changes are good for an impromptu living weapon but not for that weapon having an easy time afterwards, but it takes a while for him to reach out for help there, not just because of all previously mentioned but because he *hates* the idea of something going in and making "edits" to him again.

There's some more literal lingering effects from the Aurum - he can understand Morse code and binary and is compelled to read it out and translate it whenever he sees it, and sometimes those are the forms of communication that remain when the others go down, along with general detached computer speak. He *really* doesn't like others seeing this -- I like the idea of Arlon or Palutena teaching him signing to use in moments like this.

He is so touch starved my god. He probably wasn't getting much affection pre-canon in the first place but after being in space for 3+ years in a place where anything organic for miles is destroyed on sight, his body not being his own, and then going on to hide it all? Someone lays a hand on his shoulder and he just *melts*. He already feels like the affectionate back-breaking bear hug type in my mind so it's just. Auougghhhhhhhhhh. Yeah.

Okay back to the less intense headcanons. All the main ones were at the top these are just little ideas or like stupid stuff.

NO ONE IS HANDING HIM THE AUX CORD. EVER. His top artist on Spotify is Smosh. He listens to Lil Dicky and Your Favorite Martian. When it's a date and he needs to put on the more acceptable by society stuff he puts on ABBA and the Niel Ciceriga mashup albums. The ladder is most of his exposure to the wider music world he was BAFFLED when he found out hendrix wasn't actually singing about furries. I also think it would be really fucking funny if his main playlist with 2010 YouTuber Core has like Kid A interspersed in there. Thom York and the party rock guys are on the exact same artistic pedestal to him (you can decide if he's a real one for that)

He would NOT BE A MYSOGINIST. NO ONE GETS MY GUY. He's the most cringefail feminist on earth he was at the women's march tripping over the asphalt and face planting 30 times and when it was over they had to pick him up with a dustpan. HER PRONOUNS ARE THEY/THEM !!!

He figured all the fnaf lore out on his own but none of the gods gave a shit so he used the peak of his power to bestow maddening visions upon Markiplier's 20th removed great Greek ancestor. Hades did the same thing to MatPat's 20th removed great Greek ancestor just to muddy the waters and spite his ex

His favorite animals are snakes, cats, and dragons. When the others find out about him Going Through It post canon, Viridi begrudgingly makes immortal replicas of a snake and cat as gifts to him for emotional support

He would use his divine resilience to go out and hug poisonous creatures and beasts because he can

He would get so upset by like made up cartoon insults like in worlds where everyone's a dragon and they call eachother a pink-tailed coward and that kind of stuff right. If he got teleported into the geronimo stilton book universe and another mouse called him a chedderface he would have to be HOSPITALIZED.

He doesn't curse a lot and only does it under very specific circumstances that tick him off like if you called spongebob annoying he would curse you out

Talks to himself alone in rooms constantly. Has ytp verbal stims.

Has a thumbtack and string board not for like anything in specific its kinda just his replacement for a journal but for a guy who tries to find the connection between the weird waiter he met at girls' night to the Aliens

I have a genre of guys I call Stray Dog Youth who are just people I think would evoke a heroic pity response from him and the urge to take them under his wing and raise them into defenders of justice. Pit. Chicken Little. Fluttershy. Shadow the Hedgehog. Timmy Turner. Gohan. Malcom in the middle maybe I never watched it. But do you see my vision here. He respects this genre of person more than any god ever

STIM LORE 🔥 fist bumps, flying around in circles, saying him catchphrases and doing him poses, playing with fire in his hands and swirling it around. He's a hup and huh and woop and oops and wup kind of guy. Sometimes he yells CHOCOLATE STARFISH!!! to himself in fred durst impression.

He polishes his forehead gem a lot to be as striking and shiny as possible

His hair starts to turn ashy at the tips and hang down when it grows longer

He respects human life more than the average god. Protecting the earth is his ultimate goal but he'll justify many questionable sacrifices to achieve that

Panromantic Asexual 💪 he does not care about flirting or sex there are horrors to quell citizen. I mean even if he wanted to he couldn't so.

Oh yeah he uses citizens generally when talking about humanity and such, but citizen turns into a nickname for Pit in particular as a sign of respect.

He gives Pit exposure therapy training after returning to earth and learning about his pyrophobia. He also has talks with Palutena, one of the first gods he develops some respect towards and one of the first people to accept him back in, since they relate to eachother over the Chaos Kin incident.

He doesn't have a real temple and he's mostly a drifter, but he did set up shop at an abandoned human temple in the middle of nowhere. WORST crib imaginable. courage the cowardly dog style PC setup. Light up gaming in progress sign. Q-bert funko pop displayed like a treasured collectable.

He would be OBSESSED with old low budget sci-fi movies and similar genres of b-movies. He thinks The Amazing Bulk is the best movie ever made ever

He would be really good at games where the rules are just entirely decided by vibes and such he can understand them thoroughly. That one video of the guys using toy phones and xylophones like a card game with gamer rage mannerisms. Calvinball. Etc.

He can go a while without sleep. When he needs to he lays back in the sky and sleeps among the stars. This has led to many flock of owls attacks followed by meteor crash landing into a god's back lawn.

THAT'S ALL I CAN THINK OF FOR NOW but yeah those are the big ones 💞 thank you for opening the gates for me to be insanecrazy about my specialist guy on the planet 😁

[thee-morrigan]

now that I've had a couple of days to go through SEVERAL stages of mental illness about book 3, I have…Some Thoughts. about the book in general and specifically about N's route, as so far that's the only one in which I've gone through most (if not all) of the interaction variations (yes, I have approximately 83253 tabs open rn. I told y'all I'm being very unwell about this). I've played through M's route several times so far too, but there were fewer standout "wait, what?" moments for me in that route tbh 🥴

below the cut: the peer review nobody asked for! (and my sincerest apologies lmao)

I really need Mishka to hire professional copy editors for these books, y'all. There are grammar/syntax errors that just. shouldn't be there. (and I don't even mean the nitpicky ones that I'm super anal about! I mean ones like using 'stationary' when you mean 'stationery'.)

somewhat related to the above bullet, I hope the testing period for book 4 is a lot longer than it was for book 3. there are some inconsistencies in the narrative that I suspect would have been caught if there'd been more time between the beta testing and the book being sent to HG.

for example, if you trigger the sex scene options in N's combat route, there is at least one errant reference to the feel of denim when like. you're both in workout clothes (and there is significant time spent describing both N's and the MC's outfits!). ALSO, when you go back inside for the debriefing with UB, F & M tease N about their jeans being unzipped when, again: there were no jeans or zippers involved. It's a funny scene after the equivalent research options, but it makes no sense post-combat ones without editing for attire differences.

while I'm thinking about the research scene on N's route, the fact that the MC can confess their love and N flat out says NOTHING in response??? just immediately jumps to gettin' busy despite the MC explicitly asking them to say something in response??? what will probably be Holland's canon route is fine, because the combat path has a "scared by own feelings" choice and you know homegirl immediately tried to yeet herself out of that potential conversation bc they've been dating for all of 30 seconds at this point. BUT knowing that that path was fine bc it happened to fit my OC honestly just made me more annoyed for anyone playing with a different/more emotionally mature/open detective. because going through the "i love you" options in the research scene especially were disappointing.

again, related to the above, the narrative inconsistencies (and the bulky plot) made the pacing often feel inconsistent. there were so many moving pieces and story beats that a lot of scenes felt either rushed (without seeming like that pace was tonally/narratively appropriate) or unnecessarily truncated. I also felt like there were a lot of points of abrupt info-dumping that was clearly meant to give background info on UB/other characters/plotpoints but ended up feeling inorganic/unnatural in terms of actual relationship-building. or, alternatively, like it was meant to build to a resolution point later in the book that just never happened.

for example: the whole post-Unit Victor scene where your LI shares some of their past with you. It didn't feel quite as abrupt/odd in my M route playthroughs, but the flow was JARRING for me in N's. And the abrupt end to that scene is never revisited. like, I understand the conversation maybe not coming up again, but for neither of them to even linger on what were presumably heavy emotional topics or think about it again at what could have been relevant points throughout the book seemed to dilute what I assume was meant to be an important scene.

speaking of things that are basically not revisited when they really should be, if N's overprotectiveness is going to continue to be a defining trait and the MC can continue to be explicitly bothered by it, I am begging for book 4 to let them have an uninterrupted, private conversation about it - particularly after the whole "I don't know how this is going to work" scene after the auction. because if this is how it already is and there are 4 more books, their relationship is going to be so (much more) unhealthy.

a more positive note! I did think it was ~interesting to see the juxtaposition of N's constant over-the-top "romantic gestures/sentiments" schtick against the responses you can get when you invite them to dinner but choose either the "you don't have to go if you would be uncomfortable" or "I'll call it off if you're not feeling it" option. with the former, N's response is that relationships are doing things for the other person/doing things they want to do, and they seem genuinely baffled when the detective immediately disagrees. with the latter, they seem equally surprised at the detective's willingness to ditch dinner for them. it's a brief thing, but both of their potential responses give the impression that N's perception of those statements is disproportionate to their actual significance. I mean. it's a dinner party that the detective almost forgot about entirely. clearly they don't give a shit about rescheduling/going alone. moreover, towards the end of the book, N explicitly worries about not "being enough" for the MC. for whatever reason, N clearly seems to think they're like, constantly on the verge of losing the detective in a different way than they worry about losing them to the neverending string of external threats, and I do hope it's meant to be the foreshadowing I think it is.

[stargazer-sims]

You know how you have an idea and your brain just gets stuck on it until you share it or otherwise do something about it? Or are you normal?

Yes, this is about my OCs. In fact, it's probably everything you (n)ever wanted to know about Nikolai Pavlenko.

It's gonna be long. Apologies.

Seriously, you get all the 🍪 and ⭐️ if you make it through this Chaotic Info Post™

Anyway, I was just thinking about how some of my best and/or favourite OCs were only meant to be secondary characters, but somehow became so interesting to me (either on their own or in relation to other characters) that I absolutely had to develop them. Nikolai was one of those, and now, so are his potential love interests, Ginger and Mishka.

I already had skeletal backstories for both Ginger and Mishka (Ginger's was a bit more in-depth, to be fair, but still...) Now, suddenly they're both telling me all kinds of things about themselves to the point where I can't even decide which one of them Nikolai is meant to be with. I mean, let's face it; he's definitely not meant to be with Anya again, and he's too loving and sweet to be alone.

Nikolai can credit all his former coaches and his figure skating friends, and his students to some degree, for shaping who he is as a person. He loves his parents and has a good relationship with them, but his father in particular is not the sort of person to show much emotion or demonstrate affection and his mother is a bold, no-nonsense woman who can come off as brusque and rude to people who don't know her. Nikolai is not like that. He's gentle and patient and he likes to show others how he feels and loves to give and receive affection. It was his coaches, Stanislav and Beth-Anne, who brought out the best in him, and in reality they often parented him just as much or more than his parents did. As an adult, and since becoming a coach himself, he's also learned a lot about how to have good relationships with people and also a lot about himself.

As a teenager, Nikolai's closest friends were all figure skaters, like him. He started skating at the age of five, when his family lived in another town. At his old skating club, he didn't manage to make a lot of friends and would have been desperately lonely if it weren't for his sister Natascha.

He was sixteen when his family moved, and he flourished at his new rink with his new coach, Stan, who taught him just as much about life and love and the challenges of growing up as he did about figure skating. It was there that he met the people who would become his core group of friends; Anya, Ginger, Hunter, Juliet and Christian.

Vivienne "Ginger" Holmes moved to town during the same summer Nikolai did, so they already had that in common when they met. She was only 14 and had come all the way to Canada from the UK specifically to train with Stan. She was living with a host family, but was essentially on her own, according to her. She and Nikolai bonded instantly, not just over being the new kids at school and the rink, but also over their shared love of dance, bike racing, comic books and spicy food. Ginger never acted stereotypically "girly" and Nikolai appreciated that. It was easy to think of her as a buddy and a confidante, without the complication of adolescent infatuation.

Anya, on the other hand, was a totally different story. She was also 14 when Nikolai met her. Like him, she was the child of an immigrant family, but unlike him, she was well-integrated, attractive and popular. Nikolai tried to avoid her at first, thinking that she was probably mean and shallow like most of the other pretty, popular girls he'd met at his old school. It was actually Anya who approached him. She was learning photography from her grandfather, and wanted to take pictures of Nikolai on the ice. He refused at first, but after Anya kept pestering him, he finally agreed one day. After practice that day, he agreed to go with Anya to get food, and they naturally started talking. Slowly but surely, they got to know each other, and he learned to trust her. As they both approached adulthood, he realized that somewhere along the way, he'd fallen in love with her.

Nikolai and Anya married when he was 25 and she was 23. They were both actively competing and were at the peak of their skating careers. The year they got married, Nikolai won his first World Championship gold medal, and Anya came away with bronze, her second World Championship medal in three years.

Unfortunately, their marriage was not meant to last. Neither of them were ready for the responsibility of a marriage. They were juggling their training and competition schedules, their finances, managing their shared home, and dealing with growing pressure from both their families to start a family of their own. Even though they didn't realize it at the time, neither of them had been ready for a marriage. They hadn't been mature or stable enough, and Anya in particular hadn't been ready to settle down.

The final blow to their marriage that they hadn't been able to overcome was the injury that abruptly ended Nikolai's competitive skating career. He was 27, and competing in the Four Continents Cup, when he injured his knee in a spectacularly bad fall. Even before the doctors and physical therapists assessed his injury, he somehow knew that his career was over, and that he'd never be in another competition.

The eventual prognosis was that he would recover enough to be able to walk and run normally, and even to be able to skate again one day if he did everything the medical professionals told him to. But, they said, he would never be able to compete again. His damaged knee would not tolerate the amount and intensity of training required for it.

Nikolai wasn't ready to accept that reality. He couldn't decide if he was more angry or sad about it, and he became increasingly depressed. Anya couldn't handle the burden of taking care of him while he recovered, with his irritability and mood swings and seemingly random bouts of crying or angry outbursts making things even worse. She decided to leave, and packed her things to go move in with her grandfather.

As if Nikolai wasn't already broken enough, Anya's departure absolutely shattered him. He felt like he was losing everything. He actually contemplated taking his own life, and he might very well have done if not for his coach at the time, Beth-Anne.

Beth-Anne received a phone call in the middle of the night, and on the other end of the line was Nikolai, sobbing inconsolably and telling her that he was scared. Beth-Anne didn't ask questions. She told him to go and unlock the door and not to do anything else, and that she'd be there in ten minutes. She threw on some clothes, grabbed her car keys and sped all the way there. When she got there, she found Nikolai sitting on the floor in the entryway, still crying and looking absolutely exhausted. He hadn't even made it back to the sofa or his bed or wherever he'd been when he phoned her. He literally had unlocked the front door and done nothing else until she arrived.

Beth-Anne gathered him up and took him to the ER. She knew he needed help, at least to settle him down. Anything else he needed after that, she could handle herself. She lost patience with the doctors who were going on about anti-depressants and therapy, once they'd heard the full story, and she vetoed the idea of them admitting him for a psychological evaluation. She verbally exploded on the doctor with, "He doesn't need his head examined and he doesn't need fucking drugs! He needs a sense of purpose and someone who actually gives a shit!" That got the tiniest smile out of Nikolai, and Beth-Anne was silently and secretly pleased.

In the end, she and Nikolai did acquiesce to a painkiller for his leg and some medication to help him sleep, and agreed that he should stay in the hospital overnight for observation. Beth-Anne bullied the doctor into letting her stay with Nikolai all night, and she didn't leave his side for more than a few minutes. In the morning, she called Nikolai's parents and informed them that he'd be staying with her for a while, and then with the consent of the doctor, she took a still-drowsy Nikolai home to her place and tucked him into bed in the guest room.

For the first couple of days, Beth-Anne cancelled all her students' practices and stayed home with Nikolai. She made him stay in bed or on the sofa, and practically waited on him. On the third day, however, she bundled him up and took him to the rink with her, telling him that he needed to watch her and observe her students, because she'd be asking him for commentary and critique later. That was his first glimpse into the skating world from the other side of the gate.

As the weeks progressed, Nikolai began to feel better. Every day, he went to the rink with Beth-Anne to be a second set of eyes for her, spotting different things each of the skaters did exceptionally well and things they still needed work on. At home, Beth-Anne helped him work on his physical therapy exercises, taught him how to cook, introduced him to yoga, and happily expounded upon the joys and pains of being a figure skating coach. She answered all his questions about coaching, and encouraged him to join her as an assistant when he was ready.

Eventually he did join her as a coaching assistant. After a few months, he was able to skate again for short periods of time, and then it wasn't long before he'd taken over one of Beth-Anne's beginner groups, teaching his five little skaters mostly on his own, with minimal guidance from Beth-Anne. He was happy to realize she'd been right. The thing he'd needed most was someone who cared about him and something to bring a sense of purpose to his life.

Meanwhile, Anya was deeply regretting her decision to leave Nikolai. She still loved him and wanted to come back, but he wasn't ready for that. He was still hurt, and he didn't think he could put himself through another ride on the emotional roller coaster that had been life with Anya. He filed for divorce, and she didn't contest it.

They were able to repair their friendship, but Nikolai wasn't interested in renewing their romantic relationship at that point. Eventually, he would be, but he needed time. He had to admit that he still loved Anya too, but he realized things would never be good between them until they both changed.

At some point, they settled into a "friends with benefits" arrangement, where they agreed that they weren't going to commit to each other and that they'd be free to see other people.

During that period of time, Nikolai went out with his good friend Ginger several times, but they never once slept together and never liked to say their outings were dates. Nikolai dated other people as well, but nothing ever developed with anyone.

It was on the night that he, Beth-Anne, Ginger, Juliet and Hunter were out at a club, celebrating his thirtieth birthday that he met the person whom he'd have his next serious relationship with, Mikhail Vasiliev (a.k.a. Mishka). Nikolai and Hunter were up at the bar, getting drinks for themselves and the ladies when they noticed a man around their age apparently struggling to explain something to one fo the bartenders. The man was enormous, with bulging muscles clearly visible through his snug-fitting shirt, and Nikolai guessed that if they were standing side-by-side, the top of his head would only come up to the man's shoulder. Despite that, however, the man had an oddly childlike quality about him. His sweet face was crumpled with frustration and he looked like he might cry at any moment if he couldn't make himself understood.

Nikolai's second observation was that he recognized the language the man was speaking in between snatches of halting, broken English.

"He's speaking Russian," Nikolai told Hunter. "I'm going to help him."

As it turned out, Mishka was lost and had come into the club for directions. After not having succeeded in getting help at a convenience store down the street, he'd wandered into the only other establishment that was open at that hour. He explained to Nikolai that he was a professional hockey player, and that he'd been part of a mid-season trade from his old team to the one in Brindleton Bay. He'd only arrived a few days ago, and was staying at a hotel until he found a suitable place to live. This particular evening, he'd had dinner by himself at a restaurant, and then on a whim, decided to take a late evening stroll around town. But then, he'd gotten confused and couldn't find his way back to the hotel.

Nikolai and Hunter invited him to come and join Nikolai's little birthday party, and then Nikolai would take him back to the hotel afterwards. Mishka agreed, mostly because he was a little desperate, but he would later say it was the best choice he'd made in a while.

Nikolai and Mishka spent a lot of time just getting to know each other after that, and soon realized this was not going to be just a friendship. Everyone agreed that Mishka was good for Nikolai, and his family and most of his friends liked him. As for Mishka, he was very happy to find himself surrounded by so many people who cared about him, and to be falling in love with somebody who treated him gently and took care of him the way Nikolai did.

For all his strong, tough appearance, Mishka is a meek and quiet person. The thing he appreciated most about Nikolai is that he recognized Mishka's vulnerability and never judged him for it. He was always there to support him and look after him. For Nikolai, Mishka inspired the same kind of nurturing and protectiveness as his young protégé Eden Seong and all his other students, and the relationship offered him that all-important sense of purpose.

His relationship with Mishka was quiet and steady, with none of the chaos and emotional turbulence that his relationship with Anya had. There were fewer risky adventures, far less wild sex, very little personal drama, and no all-out screaming arguments. They often disagreed, but they rarely fought, and they would always try to make up before going to sleep if they did fight.

To Nikolai, their love was all the sweeter, knowing that they were able to successfully navigate through the aftermath of an argument and still want to curl up together in bed when all was said and done. That always made him feel safe, when they felt satisfied enough with the outcome to finally let themselves go to bed, and he was wrapped in Mishka’s huge, gentle arms. Sometimes Mishka would sing to him; the most unexpectedly angelic voice coming from this massive man who looked like he’d be more at home yelling commands to workers at the dockyard than chanting in a choir.

(Mishka had been in an all-boys choir as a child and young teen)

Mishka is cuddly and affectionate, just like Nikolai, and they both fulfilled each other’s need for physical touch. They also had no qualms about being affectionate in public, and it wasn’t at all a rare sight to see them holding hands while out for a walk or to catch Mishka hugging Nikolai from behind and shyly kissing his cheek while they waited in line for coffee.

Mishka shared Nikolai’s love of cycling, and the two of them liked to go on bike rides together. Their favourite thing to do together was to bike somewhere and go exploring. In the summertime, they’d take several small trips where they’d bike for a while, then hike into to the woods and find a nice spot to put up their tent, and camp in the forest for a night or two. Sometimes they’d find a place to fish, sometimes they’d sit in the sun and read, and sometimes they’d wander around and look at the flowers, mushrooms and trees and simply enjoy the quiet. Mishka often got stressed about getting lost, but Nikolai is good with a compass and so they never did.

Other things they enjoyed together were swimming, dancing, playing video games and of course skating. Sometimes the skating was more about Nikolai showing off while Mishka admired him, but mostly they’d skate laps together until Nikolai’s knee dictated a halt. Then, they’d go home, and Mishka would ice and massage his leg until he felt better.

One of the big challenges in their relationship was Mishka’s travelling. The team was constantly on the go throughout the regular season, and even longer if they made the playoffs. Nikolai didn’t like how often Mishka was away from him, and even though there was a set schedule for the team’s away games and home games, the whole thing still felt unstable and uncertain to him. Psychologically, it was difficult for him, and although he tried not to show how upset and stressed he was every time Mishka had to leave, Mishka always knew. He hated that Nikolai was upset, but there wasn’t much he could do in that situation, which naturally upset him too.

Perhaps the biggest hurdle for them was Anya. Nikolai and Anya’s on-again, off-again friends with benefits situation was in a definite “off again” phase when Nikolai and Mishka decided they were in an official relationship, but that didn’t stop Anya from coming around and trying to make herself at home. She’d show up ostensibly to cook for them, help them with their laundry or bring them something she’d knitted. The whole thing made Mishka feel extremely uncomfortable, and he said so on multiple occasions.

Regardless of the fact that Nikolai told Anya several times he wasn’t interested at all, Anya still tried to flirt with him (and with Mishka, much to Mishka’s distress). Mishka was never worried about Nikolai being unfaithful, but he neither liked nor trusted Anya.

One of the worst things for Nikolai during all this was that he didn’t even have his buddy Ginger around to talk to about it. Not long after Nikolai and Mishka had gotten together, Ginger had returned to the UK to begin her own journey as a figure skating coach and, as it happened, a wife. She and Nikolai did their best to keep in touch, but with their schedules, time zones, and Ginger’s new husband Liam not liking her to talk to other men, it was a challenge.

Inevitably, Nikolai and Mishka reached the conclusion that as much as they loved and cared for each other, this was not the right time or the right circumstances for them to stay together. They mutually decided to part ways and remain friends, and they promised that if their situations ever changed, they'd look each other up and hopefully try again. They did their best to keep in touch after that, but just like his contact with Ginger, Nikolai's contact with Mishka was semi-regular at best and sporadic at worst. He never forgot what they'd promised each other, though, and neither did Mishka.

Fast-forward a few years, and Nikolai receives a message from Ginger, telling him that she and Liam are divorcing, and she's moving to Japan to continue to train her star student, Sebastian Fujikawa, a Japanese citizen who'd previously been training in the UK while he attended school there. The teenager was ready to go home to Japan, though, and he'd practically begged Ginger to come with him. She told Nikolai she was ready for a change, and that she'd gladly agreed.

Meanwhile, Nikolai was busy with Eden, his own young champion in the making, as well as his other students. Eden and Sebastian were the same age, Nikolai discovered, and soon they'd be competing in the senior division, where they — and their coaches — would undoubtedly meet at international competitions. It was easier for Nikolai and Ginger to keep in touch, now that she didn’t have Liam breathing down her neck, and their contact became less sporadic. Nikolai always looked forward to the chances when they'd encounter each other in person at a competition or training camp. Seeing Ginger again always made him happy.

Fast-forward another handful of years, and Nikolai finds himself in the unlikely scenario of being begged to come to Japan by his own student. Eden had decided to follow his brother Charlie to Japan, where Charlie was going to pursue his career as a professional aesthetitian, hoping to become the proverbial beautician of the stars in the J-pop music industry.

Initially, Eden asked Nikolai to come with him, and Nikolai said no. For one thing, he was terrified to uproot himself from his family, students and familiar surroundings. He was never good with instability, and he didn't think he could cope with that drastic a change in his life. His other reason was that he thought Eden might need to assert his own independence a bit. He didn't want Eden to leave, but knew that it'd be wrong to hold him back.

Eden found a new coach to train with, but the whole thing went terribly wrong after only a few months. Coincidentally, he was skating out of the same rink in a small town in Japan where Ginger was coaching her student, Sebastian. Nikolai heard more of the story from Ginger than he did from Eden at first, as Eden didn't want to upset him with all the horrible details, nor did he want Nikolai to think he was trying to guilt him into coming to Japan.

Finally, Eden did confess the whole truth, and Nikolai was heartbroken to realize that he'd made a huge mistake in not going to Japan with Eden in the first place. He'd all but made up his mind to go, and it really took very little extra persuasion on the part of Ginger and Charlie to fully convince him.

He was overjoyed to be reunited with Eden. Three months had felt like forever to him. He's struggling to adapt to life in Japan, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't scared, but having Eden, Charlie and Ginger close by helps him. Anya, a professional sports and entertainment photographer, has been there to visit him, while she was travelling in Asia for work. As much as he wants to deny it, he was glad to see her too and try as he might, he can't deny that he's looking forward to her coming back again.

But, other than training with Eden again, the real highlight has been his reunion with Ginger. It's brought him much more joy than he'd expected, and he's really not certain how to explain his feelings about it. He and Ginger spend as much time together as they can, and it didn't take much for them to slip back into their old friendship. They still don't want to say they're dating, and neither one of them really sees their relationship as a romance, but they're nevertheless very happy together. Nikolai can honestly say he loves Ginger, and he sees nothing wrong with that.

It's all good until he receives a long email from Mishka. Now 35 years old, Mishka has decided that too many injuries and stamina that's fading with age have finally made him uncompetitive as a pro hockey player, and it's time to retire. Nikolai could read the excitement in Mishka's written message, and he easily could picture Mishka's sweet face glowing with a smile at the sentence, "I never forgot you. I'm coming to Japan to find you, my love."

Nikolai is excited too, until he thinks about Ginger. And Anya.

He's still figuring out his feelings for Ginger, who is already right there in town, and Anya will be back soon on another business trip. How's he supposed to handle Mishka too, in the midst of that?

He has a problem, and not the sort of problem most people have. Some people have trouble finding one love interest. Nikolai's problem is that he may have far too many...

[blissfulalchemist]

Which Hozier Song is Your OC

Hello I have come back from the abyss to of course do this uquiz. Thank you @corvosattano for tagging me. I tried to do as many ocs as I could manage (it ended up being 12 so my bad) and then included a lyric that I felt related to the oc(s) so apologies for the length. Sending tags out to @belorage @florbelles @unholymilf @adelaidedrubman @heroofpenamstan @confidentandgood @strafethesesinners @deputyash @leviiackrman @jackiesarch @shallow-gravy @shellibisshe and uh anyone else that wants to!

Anthea (ffxiv/bg3)

Wasteland, Baby! it's the end of the world, but the beginning of something that will outlive us all. you might like my tag #growing through solastalgia on tumblr. just because the world is falling apart doesn't mean we can't find peace.

"And the day that we'll watch the death of the sun/That the cloud and the cold and those jeans you have on/Then you'll gaze unafraid as they sob from the city roofs"

Catlina Rojas, Carly (fc5, bloodlines/ffxiv)

NFWMB oh, it is a privilege to be loved by you. you'd break the world for the person you love. we all want a love like that, i think. we all want such utter devotion. save it for someone who deserves it, though, because not everyone does.

"If I was born as a blackthorn tree/I'd wanna be felled by you/Held by you/Fuel the pyre of your enemies"

Siberite Akagane (ffxiv)

Abstract (Psychopomp) i mean, the world is so broken. and yet it's so beautiful it makes you want to cry. what can you even do with a feeling like this?

"Darling, there's a part of me/I'm afraid will always be/Trapped within an abstract from a moment of my life/The weeds up through the concrete/The traffic picking up speed/All my love and terror/Balanced there between those eyes"

Demos Reyes, Conner Enache (ffxiv, bloodlines/ffxiv)

Would That I morning dew, shifting grass, foxglove growing by an old fence post. woods, thick and old. and then: the joyful spark of a flame. i hope you get to lie down in a dewy field sometime soon.

"True that I saw her hair like the branch of a tree/A willow dancing on air before covering me/Under cotton and calicoes/Over canopy dapple long ago"

Sahar Mahin (m*rvel)

Francesca "i would do it again." honestly this song changed my life. i hope the people you love are worth suffering for.

"Darling, I would do it again, ah, ah/If I could hold you for a minute/Darling, I'd go through it again, ah, ah/I would still be surprised I could find you, darling/In any life"

Stasia (bloodlines/ffxiv)

Eat Your Young you have strong feelings about the state of the world. i like your passion. plus, you know how to boogie to songs that would disturb your grandma if she listened to the lyrics too closely, which is always a plus. is cannibalism a red flag?

"Honey, I'm making sure the table's made/We can celebrate the good that we've done/I won't lie, if there's something still to take/There is ground to break, whatever's still to come"

Azatae (dnd/bg3)

It Will Come Back why is it so hard to stay away? you might have a tendency to get addicted. and it makes sense. if you've always been starving, then any scraps look like a feast. but you really do deserve better than this. i hope you treat yourself with kindness.

"I know who I am when I'm alone/I'm something else when I see you/You don't understand, you should never know/How easy you are to need"

HK (dnd/bg3)

Work Song i wrote a poem about this one once! devotion and the way it crushes you. the way it saves you. sometimes the only thing that can save your life is having someone to live for. and sometimes when you've found that person you would do impossible things to stay by their side. i like the way no grave can hold your body down. it's neat.

"I didn't care much how long I lived/But I swear I thought I dreamed her/She never asked me once about the wrong I did"

Chance Ruicknar (fc5)

From Eden you might like the game slither.io. also, you're a bop. have you seen Good Omens? there's this snake demon you might really enjoy.

"Babe/There's something lonesome about you/Something so wholesome about you/Get closer to me/No tired sighs, no rolling eyes, no irony/No 'who cares', no vacant stares, no time for me"

Lizette Rojas (fc5)

In a Week have you ever thought about the fact that you have to kill other things in order to keep yourself alive? whether plant, animal, bacteria, or fungus, you're always killing things in order to eat. and in return, when you die, they'll get to eat you. the feast has begun.

"I have never known peace/Like the damp grass that yields to me/I have never known hunger/Like these insects that feast on me/A thousand teeth/And yours among them, I know"

[whumperofworlds]

Whumptober Day 1: Fingers

Now on AO3!

Fandom: Fire Emblem: Three Houses

A/N: WHUMPTOBER BEGINS! I'm super excited to share these with y'all!!! It's my first time doing Whumptober so I'm excited to do this! All prompts will be either OC related or fandom related, and they will all be posted on AO3, so stay tuned for more!

I don't own anyone in Fire Emblem: Three Houses.

Content: poisoned, stabbed with an arrow, mentions of emeto, blood.

ENJOY!

_____

@whumptober Day 1: Safety Net | Swooning | "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Hubert didn't think anything was wrong after the battle. Things were going well against the Slitherers—Byleth's plan had gone well, and everyone was alive and safe.

Hubert met up with the rest of the Black Eagle Strike Force, before he started a head count. Lady Edelgard was there, along with her wife, Byleth. So was Bernadetta and Yuri. Even Caspar was here (though Linhardt had something to do with him being here instead of running off).

Everyone was here.

Except for…

"Ferdinand isn't here," Hubert pointed out, his heart nearly stopping as dread hit him. Where was Ferdinand? Was he alive? No. The last time he saw him, he was fighting against Thales. He seemed like he was handling himself well. Unless…

The mere idea of Ferdinand being captured or worse, killed, frightened Hubert more than he would like to admit. They were courting for just a few short months, and both of them promised that they would live for the other's sake before they officially marry. Ferdinand never broke promises he kept.

Edelgard gritted her teeth, glancing towards her wife, who's eyes were filled with concern. Byleth immediately spoke up, "Then we must split up and look for him. He should not have gone far."

Hubert merely nodded, before he teleported away to the last place he saw Ferdinand. Once he arrived, he saw the body of Thales lying on the ground, blood pooling around him… but no Ferdinand in sight.

Where was he?

"Ferdinand?" Hubert called, glancing around. Shambhala was quite a large area, but Hubert knew that Ferdinand didn't go very far, with Thales now dead. He had to be nearby.

"Ferdinand!" Hubert called again, his heart pounding. Did one of the Slitherers get his lover? No. Ferdinand was strong enough to handle them. He wouldn't go down that easily. …Right?

"Ferdie!" Hubert screamed, desperation in his voice now. Surely him calling Ferdinand by his pet name would catch the ginger's attention.

Silence. But he heard a moan from somewhere.

"H-Hubie…?" Ferdinand's voice was weak, scaring the raven haired man more than needed. What happened to Ferdinand?

Hubert glanced around, looking for any sign of his beloved. "Ferdie! Where are you?!" He cried, his heart pounding so hard he swore he would have a heart attack.

Clang

Hubert jumped at the sound from behind him, before he turned. A lance—Ferdinand's lance—laid on the floor, and Hubert could see the bloody fingerprints on the handle.

Hubert rushed up to the lance, glancing over it for a moment before turning his head to the left. In between two buildings was a flash of long orange hair, blood pooling around the body. Sticking out of the body's shoulder was an arrow radiating a purple glow.

Hubert gasped. It was Ferdinand. And he was hit with a poison arrow.

"Ferdie!" Hubert cried, forgetting the lance as he rushed towards his fallen love. He knelt down to Ferdinand when he was close enough, before cradling his broken body in his arms. He was careful not to tousle his wounded shoulder, as he looked over the ginger's pale face.

"H-Hubie…" Ferdinand whispered, his voice cracking due to the sheer pain he was feeling. He breathed heavily, trying to fight to stay awake.

"Ferdie, dammit," Hubert cursed, helping Ferdinand's head so it would lay on the mage's lap. He brushed away orange, sweat stained hair from Ferdinand's face as he tried to keep his own breathing under control. He shouldn't be panicking now. He had to get Ferdinand help, and fast.

He lit up a Fire spell, before he threw it up in the air. The spell exploded once it hit its furthest point, the embers flying everywhere. Surely, one of the Black Eagle Strike Force members would see it and rush to their aid.

"H-Hubie…" Ferdinand gasped, tears now pricking at the corners of his eyes. Hubert gritted his teeth—seeing his beloved in that much pain broke his heart in many pieces.

"Shh," Hubert whispered. "Don't talk, Ferdie. We'll get you help."

Seeing Ferdinand's heavy breathing and his struggle to stay awake made Hubert worry the more time passed. Where was Edelgard? Byleth? With so many members of the Black Eagle Strike Force, someone had to see the signal by now.

"Ferdie," Hubert spoke, his voice firm. He moved slightly so he could hold one hand up for Ferdinand to see. Hubert held up three fingers, before he asked him, "Ferdie, how many fingers am I holding up?"

Ferdinand looked at his hand, squinting at it. Hubert gritted his teeth. Not a good sign at all.

"F-four?" Ferdinand guessed. "I-I cannot tell."

DAMMIT.

Hubert knew that Ferdinand was at the late stages of the poison. He needed to get him help, and soon.

"Hubert!" Hubert recognized the feminine voice of Edelgard a few feet away. "Did you find Ferdinand?!"

Hubert breathed a sigh of relief. Finally. Help had arrived.

"Yes!" Hubert called. "But he's been poisoned! Do you have Linhardt or Manuela with you?!"

"Both of them are here with us," Edelgard answered, her voice closer now. "Hold on! We're coming!"

Hubert merely nodded, taking Ferdinand's hand. He glanced down at his beloved, frowning as he squeezed the ginger's hand slightly.

"H-Hubie…" Ferdinand croaked, tears now falling down his face. "I-it hurts…"

"I know, love," Hubert soothed, "just keep your eyes open for me."

"S-s-so tired…" Ferdinand whimpered, hiccuping as he tried to hold in a sob.

"Ferdie, look at me," Hubert spoke in a firm tone. Ferdinand slowly glanced up at his love to meet his eyes, though Hubert could tell he was struggling. "I need you to stay awake, okay? Linhardt and Manuela are coming."

"I-I-I…" Ferdinand whimpered. "I'm trying…"

His voice was growing soft, and Hubert gulped as his heart pounded in his chest. Ferdinand didn't have much time left—each minute that passed, Ferdinand grew weaker. Where were Linhardt and Manuela? Dammit, where were they?! They should be here by now! How much longer—

"There they are!" Linhardt's voice broke Hubert's panicking thoughts. Hubert could hear footsteps approaching before Manuela and Linhardt appeared. When Linhardt saw how much blood Ferdinand had lost, and how some of it was discolored, he nearly fainted on the spot. Manuela glanced at him, her eyes indicating that Ferdinand needed help now. Linhardt, understanding the look, nodded weakly before he and Manuela rushed forward to the duo. Manuela helped Hubert pick up Ferdinand, carefully pulling out the arrow. Ferdinand hissed as the arrow was fully out of his shoulder, and blood sputtered from the wound. The blood looked more purple than red, which Hubert gritted his teeth in disgust. He had made poisons to kill people, yes, but he had never seen the poison get to this stage.

As soon as the arrow was pulled out, Linhardt took that moment to cast a healing spell to heal the wound. He looked away, nearly gagging at the look of the blood as he did so. Once the wound was nearly closed up, Manuela wrapped a small white cloth around Ferdinand's shoulder, and she could see the blood seeping from the wound. She helped Hubert bring Ferdinand back to the group, who all looked on in worry.

"Ferdinand…" Edelgard gasped, a hand over her mouth.

"He'll be just fine," Manuela reassured, "his body needs to get rid of the poison before he can heal properly. For now, we need to go back to the monastery."

Hubert sighed in relief. Finally, Ferdinand was going to get the help he desperately needed. He looked down at his love, seeing that he was unconscious. But his face was starting to gain a little more color. That was a good sign, at least…

_____

Three days. It was an agonizing three days for Hubert. He knew that Ferdinand would survive the poison, but he couldn't help but worry over him.

He sighed, trying to look over the paperwork he was working on to no avail. Whenever he tried to focus, his thoughts returned to Ferdinand. He knew that Manuela and Linhardt could take care of him, but Hubert's intrusive thoughts kept coming back. What if Ferdinand had complications and died? He couldn't live without his beloved, especially since this whole thing was entirely his fault.

"Promise me you'll stay alive so we can marry, Ferdie."

"As long as you do the same, Hubie."

He remembered that promise oh so clearly. Ferdinand never broke promises; surely he would keep fighting for their sakes… right?

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. He shook his head to get rid of his thoughts before he turned his head to the door.

"Who is it?" He called.

"It's me, Manuela," the feminine voice called. "May I come in, Hubert?"

Manuela. That meant that something had happened to Ferdinand. Hubert gulped down the lump in his throat that kept coming back. Did that mean that Ferdinand was…

"Come in," Hubert spoke, waving a hand at no one in particular.

Manuela entered then, her hair messy and her clothes disheveled—apparently, she was working herself to the bone trying to keep Ferdinand alive. She sighed, wiping off the sweat from her brow before smiling.

"He'll live," she spoke.

Hubert's heart skipped a beat. Ferdinand was going to live? He had never thanked Sothis for miracles, but this time, he quietly did so. Ferdinand was going to live. He would be okay.

"He needs more time to rest," Manuela said, "his body is currently flushing out the poison in his system, but he will be fine."

Hubert merely nodded, a small smile cracking on his face. Oh, thank Sothis.

"...Can I see him?" Hubert asked, his mind begging, hoping, that she would say yes.

She nodded, to which Hubert mentally sighed in relief. "Just note that he's still out of it."

"Thank you," Hubert only said, before he rushed out to the infirmary. He had to see Ferdinand now—paperwork be damned.

_____

Upon seeing Ferdinand's pale face, Hubert's heart nearly stopped. He looked so deathly ill, and yet he was still smiling in his sleep. How in the world can this man deal with such pain and still smile? Hubert had to admit he was quite strong for that.

"Ferdie?" He asked, an intense frown on his face.

Ferdinand startled from his slumber, his head turning to face his lover. He smiled, but Hubert could tell it was strained. His eyes were half-lidded; tired as expected. "Hubie…" Ferdinand whispered. "You came to see me."

Manuela wasn't kidding that he looked out of it…

"Yes, of course," Hubert replied with a nod. "How… are you feeling, Ferdie?"

"Sick," Ferdinand chuckled, but stopped when a coughing fit began. He was even gagging; Hubert guessed that he had been vomiting up the poison, judging by the bucket near his cot. "But Manuela and Linhardt said that I'll be up and about in a few days. So don't worry about me, love."

"Ferdie…" Hubert sighed, guilt hitting him. While he was glad that Ferdinand had survived the entire ordeal, his guilt remained. If only he came with Ferdinand to fight Thales; he would have protected him from the poison arrow. Ferdinand wouldn't have nearly died.

"Don't blame yourself, dear," Ferdinand's voice broke his train of thought.

Hubert shook his head to get rid of his thoughts. "Wh-what?"

"I know what you're thinking," Ferdinand said. "You think it was your fault. It's not, Hubie, I promise."

"Still…" Hubert trailed off for a moment. "I should have come with and protected you. Then you—"

"None of that, Hubert," Ferdinand gently scolded, his voice firm. "If anything, it was Thales and the Slitherers who caused this, not you. They're gone now, so there's no need to worry about them. So no more blaming yourself, okay? I hate to see you beat yourself up over something not under your control."

Hubert sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. Yes… Ferdinand was likely right. "...All right. As long as you're still with us—with me, I'll stop."

"Good!" Ferdinand chuckled, his smile growing wider.

Hubert sat with Ferdinand for a few minutes, occasionally placing a hand on the ginger's forehead while talking nonsensical things.

"Is there something you need, Ferdinand?" Hubert asked.

"You being here is enough for me." Ferdinand replied with the same smile Hubert loved so much.

[namig42]

random OC ask: if your OC inexplicably had access to real-world media, what character would be their favorite? what character would they unreasoningly despise? why?

Alright, I'm gonna speed round their favorites, then I'll come back in another post with the ones they loathe.

Also hello, sorry I took forever to respond, I have been on vacation and also got a pretty ring from my new fiancee (I have been saying that word too much lol)

My OCs Favorite Fictional Characters!

Wyndolyn

Wyn would adore Zarya from Overwatch. She would see the badass buff babe who talks about hugging like Siberian bear and want to be just like her. (This is absolutely not based on real life experience.)

Helena

Mizu from Blue Eye Samurai. Helena would think that she's sooo cool and complex, finding comfort in someone who isolates themselves still managing to find connections in the world. She would also buy a sword and cosplay as her.

Dahlia

Aang from ATLA. She'd love Aang's goofy, playful nature and his whole character arc, from a kid running from his duties to a powerful bender that finds a way to maintain his beliefs, no matter the obstacle.

Dahlia would love the Avatar series, and since she grew up so sheltered, she'd have no idea that it's actually a super popular show that there's a huge community for. She'd definitely bring it up in conversation thinking that she's introducing something cool and new to people, then quickly learn how many people have loved the show for years and be pleasantly surprised that she can just gush with people.

Vero

Vero would be a big fan of musicals and classic films. She strikes me as someone that would resonate and admire Veronica from Heathers a lot, and when she learns about the musical version of Heathers? Forget about it. She's learning all of Veronica's parts in a day.

Sahed

Sahed is definitely a DnD and LotR nerd that has the lore memorized from both franchises. He has all the books and a bunch of art, posters, and figurines of his favorite character Smaug that would clutter up his room. Smaug would also inspire him to become a scaley, just sayin.

Sahed would also love the Fire Emblem series, and his favorite character would probably be someone like Tharja (practices curses on her own daughter) or Arvis (the main antagonist in FE4 who wipes out a whole army with one meteor shower).

Velora

Velora is a cozy gamer for sure. She'd love building her island to perfection in Animal Crossing and marrying every townie in Stardew Valley. Though she'd optimize her gameplay and romance everyone in town, her favorite character in Stardew that she would always come back to would be Shane. She likes being able to help him and earning his affection, since it always seems really genuine during his supports.

Gardon

Gardon would love a conflicted father archetype like Joel from The Last of Us. He would gravitate towards flawed characters who find some redemption in the world, and Joel is the epitome of that.

Lin'rai

Lin would love Marceline from Adventure Time and ship Bubbline so hard. Her dream girl is very similar to PB, and she sees a lot of herself in Marcy. She'd also be a Steven Universe fan who relates a lot to Pearl and simps over Rose Quartz, even though she knows how problematic Rose is. Mystery Girl from the episode "Last One Out of Beach City" would also be high on her crush list.

---

Okay, this took way more thought than I anticipated, but this all tracks pretty well.

My partner saw Vero being into Heathers and went, "really??" He didn't think Vero would be a Veronica/Heathers person, but when I asked what he thought she'd like, he was like, "I don't know, I just didn't get Veronica vibes."

Useless. I can't wait to marry this dingus.

[callmetippytumbles]

WIPs: Choices Edition

So the last time I did this I didn't actually read the rules and then I got really confused when I didn't get a bunch of asks. That's on me. Should have read and followed the rules. @lizzybeth1986 sent me an ask about my Choices WIPs and I was torn between actually following the rules this time or talking about fic in detail which is kinda what the ask was about. In an effort to a) actually respond this century and b) keep it (relatively) short, I split the difference. I talked more about the WIPs I found interesting. I listed the ones I didn't. Actually I listed the ones I found deeper in my Drive because I do not keep my WIPs in a separate folder from my other documents and it's just chaos in there but we don't need to talk about that.

Rules that you totally should follow if you want to play: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Tagging: I have been out of the Choices fandom for a while so I am tagging anyone who wants to play.

Random Fics - The Royal Romance

Bustin’ Out - Paring: Drake/MC (platonic), Liam/MC (romantic)

This was a fic where Halle was pregnant (like 7 months along) but was put on short-term bed rest due to an early labor scare. She has been medically cleared to get out of bed rest, but Liam would prefer that she stays on bed rest. Halle goes stir-crazy so she escapes and drags Drake along with her. I wish I actually finished this one if only for the funny. This is the funniest I have ever written Liam. The blocker here was the ending or the lack thereof. I think if I could wrap up the ending and decide on the Drake/Kiara subplot I could still publish this…regardless of what actually happened in the rest of the Royal Romance series.

Do that Baby’s Hair - Pairing: Liam/MC

This was a fic to actually piggyback a fic I actually did release called Wash Day. In this fic, it sees Liam and Halle in the future with their children and essentially Liam isn't exactly fully keeping up with promises he made in the first fic and Halle seeks to change that. I think I got the first half done but was not done writing the second half.

Not My Children - Pairing: Liam/MC

This is a future fic where Liam and Halle are confronted with the significant level of scrutiny their children will face in the media. Kind of inspired by the discourse that happened with Blue Ivy when people saw her hair looking less than pristine and how harsh and swift the judgement came. Got through the first half then stopped.

Phone Grab - Pairing: Liam/MC

This is a random fic where I guess I was working under the idea of what would happen if Maxwell took Liam's phone and started answering his texts (security breaches aside obviously). Of course Drake gets involved and eventually Hana and even Kiara does as well. Hilarity ensues. I am actually open to brainstorming this one for ideas to see where this one goes.

Hana Persy Drabble - Hana/OC

What it says on the tin. This was supposed to be a drabble featuring Hana and one of my favorite OCs, @lizzybeth1986's Persy. It was meant to be a gift for her at some point but I got blocked on how I wanted to end.

Fic Series

In the Dark: A Bloodbound x TRR Crossover AU

These fics are related to a series I did with Misha where she writes chapters for her TRR MC and I write the chapters for my BloodBound MC. The series starts kind of at the beginning of TRR but about halfway through BloodBound Book 1 (specifically when the BloodBound Gang rescue Adrian from The Baron's prison). Of course things get more complicated when the Cordonian vampires get involved with all of the mess and in-fighting happening between the NYC vampires. It pulls a lot contextually from The Crown and The Flame as well.

Choosing Darkness - Pairing: Olivia/Liam (unrequited)

This fic was a companion fic to a crossover AU fic I did with Misha. It’s the backstory of how Olivia got Turned into a vampire after Liam’s forced Turning. It also was interspersed with background on how Cordonia during the time of Queen Kendra and ‘em dealt with the rampant new vampire problem and why Turnings in Cordonia look they way they do now. The fic was almost a completed draft. I just had to nail down some timelines and flesh out the descriptions.

In the Dark, pt 6: Aminah

This chapter picks up where we left with Aminah after she and Adrian get conditional refuge from the Cordonian Vampires. Adrian needs to pick up the serum back from his company which has been seized after what happened at the Vampire ball thingy...its been a while since I have read BloodBound. Since Adrian cannot get it himself, Drake and Aminah are tasked with retrieving it. Aminah and Drake have verbal exchanges. They get ambushed while at Adrian's office. Jax saves them. I just hadn't worked out the details of the ambushing part. I am pretty sure it would have been fin though.

Liam x Halle Pregnancy/Baby series [The Royal Romance]

This was supposed to be a series of one-shots chronicling Liam and Halle's journey to become parents. It has some twists and turns but ends happily...as Liam and Halle deserve. The first two fics, A Wish and A Life-Changing Moment have already been released. It was the rest of the series that have been in progress. I think what made me want to explore Halle and Liam becoming parents (besides wanting to see them have a baby) is writing them in scenarios where they are not in total alignment whether its them essentially wanting the same thing but feeling very differently what their obstacles and challenges are (like in A Wish) or being in completely different headspaces but despite everything they work through those issues and come back together stronger for it.

Liam x Halle Pregnancy/Baby series

This was the outline for the whole series.

A Devastating Loss

This would have been the next part. As you can guess by the title, this would cover Halle and Liam dealing with a miscarriage.

Call for Help 1 & Call for Help 2

These two fics are not immediately after A Devastating Loss, there is a fic between them (that I am honestly surprised doesn't have a draft that I can find). These fics show Liam and Halle working through the aftermath of the miscarriage in therapy. Part 1 was Halle's session and Part 2 was Liam's session.

Driara Series

This was another series of one shots that was supposed to examine the complicated relationship between Kiara and Drake. I actually started this with Bold. While some of the fics do take place in Drake's point of view, it's all about Kiara. I meant for this series to feature Kiara in a way where she was the primary focus, she was cast in a role where she was a central figure of desire, she wasn't a villain (at least to anyone else but herself), and she was given the space to be messy and complicated. Those were the goals of the series. I wanted to do this series in particular because at the time both in canon and the fandom Kiara gets a lot of disrespect (and this was before her part of keeping Liam and MC away from their baby which takes place in later books--I know after that became a plot point, Kiara would never know piece in and out of canon--let alone the fandom--again). So this was a fix it series where it was all about her. What does she want? Where does she fit in? Who does she choose love? It was about getting to see her navigate those questions as her perspective changes from operating in should to operating in want. Now that I am reading the drafts I am getting all kinds of ideas again...but I haven't finished the rest of the TRR series...Very torn.

Driara Fic Outlines

The outline for the series.

Avoidance

This was supposed to be the next fic after Bold which takes place from Drake's perspective. He is in a rough headspace because as much as he wants to be there for Liam after Liam's father dies he can't stop thinking about Kiara and their kiss in Bold. He wants to dig deeper into that but Kiara keeps avoiding him and eventually drops out of the Unity Tour. He also gets in his own way when given the opportunity...Drake is a mess. This is actually mostly written, it's just the details that have to be fleshed out a bit more.

New Options

There are 2 fics in between this and Avoidance. This takes place during the Lantern Festival and it's told from Kiara's perspective. At this point she has been getting a lot more attention from Rashad. Drake has been trying to get closer too, but in less obvious ways. Drake and Kiara do share a moment when lighting their lanterns together but Rashad interrupts them. I have barely started this fic TBH.

Confused

This fic is also in Kiara's POV and take's place during Halle's Bachelorette Party. Kiara has been connecting with Rashad more but is unsure of what she should do in the face of Drake actively pursuing her in a way that he hasn't before. In the midst of all of this Kiara and Drake are tasked by Madeleine to essentially keep Liam and Halle from getting too wild since Halle barred Madeleine from participating in her bachelorette. This involves drunk shenanigans from both Liam and Halle.

Wedding AU

This was a series that kind of started off as a fill I did for an ask where Liam and Halle meet as guests at Leo's vow renewal and it kind of grew from there.

Wedding AU Outline

This is the outline for the series

Wedding AU: Foolishness

The refined version of the initial fic I wrote for the ask.

Wedding AU: Extending the Fairytale

The morning after the first fic where they spend the day together instead of parting ways. Apparently this also has an ask too...

Wedding AU: A Small Decision

The events of Foolishness from Liam's perspective and him deciding to continue to pursue Halle after returning to Cordonia.

Wedding AU: Splurge

Liam gifts Halle an expensive phone and she doesn't know how she feels about it.

Wedding AU: The First Lie

During Liam's first visit to NY since the vow renewal, when Halle asks him more about his background he lies so that he doesn't have to tell her that he is actually a prince.

Wedding AU: Kept

The outline says this was intended to be about how Halle feels about dating someone with the kind of wealth Liam has and how some aspects of that make her uncomfortable. The actual document is blank.

Other Choices fics

Magic [Perfect Match]

Perfect Match fic series

Testing Lily x MC [BloodBound]

I Do...For Real [The Royal Romance]

Your Real Duty [The Royal Romance]

Safe [The Royal Romance]

Sudden [The Royal Romance]

The Boat [The Royal Romance]

I've Got You [The Royal Romance]

[seahdalune]

Seana's 2023 art highlights

(surprisingly, not a reupload this time!)

January: i drew nothing! we're off to a great start.

February: i drew something! i love Champ even if i haven't drawn anything tf2 related since April. i think it was this piece where i decided to give Champ RED coloring. [link]

also, this is the month i made my second Moldy plush.... i wasn't very happy with this one, though. [link]

March: uhhhh. more of my tf2 ocs but i think those aren't that interesting. just go to my tf2 oc blog @brokenbrainstormbulb if you wanna see them honestly, i have an image limit to keep ffs. that said, this was around the time i got into TC2, so i drew a lot of that kind of stuff... i'm never drawing stuff for it ever again, sorry. [link]

April: look at the cool thing i drew for a fellow tf2 robot fan! now, this is the point in time where i start drawing more because of a certain interest, so look forward to all the art that'll come up here.....

May: wow, this really was my first public piece of Papa Louie art, huh. i was so proud of it when i showed it off on tumblr the first time... i don't like it as much anymore. for one, the office wall color is wrong.... i still can't believe Papa Louie was what got me out of art block, but god, i'm glad it did. i don't think i've drawn this much before, and even though the community's tiny, i'm glad to give back as much as i can. anyways, i said something like "it's so funny that people think they're either super married or divorced as hell" on the same post. i still think that, and it's defos funny as hell, but i've grown a kind of appreciation towards the ship as well. like yeah, you go girls, we love that extra slow burn with so many road bumps on the way! [link]

June: how the hell did i pump this out. this was also like a few days before i had to leave for the airport too... i don't know myself sometimes. i swear i still love Boigashipping! i just... i'm just busy with other ships okkkk [link]

July: i didn't draw anything...? i was in Bali. and i was busy selling adopt designs to draw anything substantial, oopsie! actually, i DID draw the first part of WDB... it's uh, still the only part. i'm sorry!!!! i'm sorry!!!! i swear i have the whole thing outlined!!! can you just give me anons about the story instead so you won't have to wonder what comes next!! [link]

August: TOSI fixation. it had not gone past it's conceptual stage, i must note. i do wish i would do something about it though. [link]

September: the art trade i did with my friend! actually, i was a few weeks late with my part, so it was supposed to be finished by August. oops. i like the textures tbh. my Chuseok drawings.... i need to draw more characters in hanbok, hee hee. [link]

October: (breaths in) ...this is the month i finally gave into the JoGotcha wantings. LOOK. ever since someone put the idea into my brain i couldn't get enough of it, and like,, nobody draws the ship anymore so i had to take matters into my own hands. this is the first ship i'm this obsessed with. i usually leave ship stuff to other people but this time that wasn't enough and i... i had to do SOMETHING, y'know? [link]

Cringetober? who's that? haha;; i stopped feeling like doing the whole list after less than a week. impressive.

November: oh look, Plushy Power League. Quinn didn't win, but i do like the thing i drew as propaganda, so whateves. the first Papa Louie character i ever drew (minus Chuck and Taylor)... did i change how i draw her? uhh. maybe? i'm not too sure. [link]

also look! the keychain drawing... i need to talk about my Gods and Monsters au again at some point. actually, since i last uploaded the image of my keychain, i revised it tons... it's kinda different now, and i defos think it looks better. this is actually the time i finally fixed the stupid display setting thing that was really messing up my coloring! [link 1] [link 2]

December: ...oops! tablet broke. and i got my 3ds back so i just didn't draw that much even after exams were over. didn't stop me from drawing though, and in fact i think i made something pretty neat with my christmas art.... even if it did come one day late. [link]

wow. that's a whole year of stuff... and that's defos a lot! i think i'm really happy with what i drew this year.... i don't know what was in my water the last few years but my art highlights felt really.... miserable? for some reason. i mean, yeah, i didn't do a lot of what i had planned (GOE ANIMATIC IM SORRY) but i can see that i've done just as much with my hands anyways, so like, who cares? plus, i always have next year... that's coming in 3 hours, oh god- so, maybe i won't be too hard on myself for not fulfilling my goals... like, i kinda glossed over it, but i did sell my designs for money, and that's like, really impressive! so many people around me buy and sell their art stuff already, so i guess i didn't really register it as something to be proud of... but doing that shit (making, and marketing) is hard!! so like, it's a wow moment for me!

anyways, i'm tired, i only came back home a few hours ago, and i need to get up again for church in a few hours.... mrphgdjd. lets stop being sentimental, and i'll see you people next year. that's a long way off! hope you don't miss me.