#i didnt wanna be evil for hym. i didnt wanna be bad. but i was.
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I miss hym. I miss those Good memories. I miss it so much right now. God I want to fucking die over it.
#dk speaks#vent#im. so tired#im so fucking afraid im hated#i made so many fucking mistakes i didnt even intend to make and now someone i care about hates me#i dont even know if i Should care. ive been hurt so much but just.#i didnt wanna be evil for hym. i didnt wanna be bad. but i was.#and now i know my social skills are more royally fucked than ever and i left without every conveying how much i Truly cared#i was angry and frustrated and confused and petty and neglected and cheated on#god i. i will never get over being cheated on. its horrible. fucking horrible.#i feel like i shouldnt even miss hym#i mean hy Admitted to fucking my wife behind my back in the past. hy must have hated me singe day 1#of course hy hated me since day 1#hy Had to have. i was lied to every single day. thats the only logical conclusion isnt it? hy hated me so the mistake was so easy to make#hy never loved me. hy just wanted her. that's it.#fuck hy didnt love me.#why couldnt i just be loved#i tried so hard at every turn i could to help and guide and comfort#but it was fucking worthless.#god why am i so worthless. i couldnt get anything right.#I hope hys happy without me#i pray hy gets better in my absence#i haven't cried this hard in so long#i judt wanted to be good#i just needed to be good andb#i Couldnt#why cant i just be normal
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