#i dont even know if i Should care. ive been hurt so much but just.

[3knecrotic]

I miss hym. I miss those Good memories. I miss it so much right now. God I want to fucking die over it.

[lunarr-stuff]

...

[thebigqueer]

Your breakup really really reminds me of my first (and only) wlw relationship/breakup everything you're saying hits home a lot. You will get through it but tbh it's so hard to heal and it still grinds my gears when I think about her and how we broke up. Idk if that helps but I understand what you're going though

YEAH MAN ITS TOUGH OUT HERE FR!!! its not my first queer relationship but like something about this is genuilnely the most world-shattering romantic experience ive had cuz we went into this soooo head over heels for each other like we were literally moving SO fast. and at the time i was like is it ok for us to even be moving this fast (probs tmi but we were literally making out shirtless by like 2nd time we even made out) (probs not a big deal to most people but i experienced a LOT of new things with her that id never experienced befoer & the fact that i was so WILLING to do it so fast was what surprised me the most) but then i was like okk whateverrr i really like how fast we're moving. and i was like 'damn if were moving this fast & if im feeling so good it has to end soon right like theres no way life is going to let me just be happy w this' and then i was like 'no elts not think about it' and then what do you know 5 months later she brekas up w me. and neither of us did anything wrong but it was so random??? like i dont understand how one moment shes telling me how excited she is to spend the entire semester with me and then literally 36 hours later tell me shes not feeling an emotional connection but wont even give us the chance to work it out. i know she also broke it off for personal reasons but its like... this was something we could have TRIED to work out you know!!! maybe it wouldnt have worked in the end but literally nothing felt off to me at all & if id known she was feeling this way i wouldve done my best to make things better. the entire breakup was so sudden and honestly im really not mad at her because i know how nerve-wracking it is to be in your first relationship. i think its just that im really dispapointed she gave up on us so easily you know??? didnt even give us a chance to figure it out

[yongseungkim]

.

[be-good-to-bugs]

maybe i WILL get to move back home

[tabootasaur]

...

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I Fucked Up

[noellefan101]

How do the different yanderes "love" you? (plus some tropes(??) i feel like would fit them)

this was honeslty just practice, and it ended up turning into smt kinda decent, i dont love what ive written but i just needed to get our smt

i blame @fatuismooches for being lovely and having such good harbinger thoughts that they've taken over my mind (fuck you[said with affection])

Yandere! Childe, Scaramouche, Dottore(separate) x gn reader

Childe ("soft and sweet" x unloving and hates touch)

He just spoils you left and right, he feels a little bad when he sees the uncomfortable look in your eyes when he kisses you all over, or when he touches you too much. so he has chosen to spoil you rotten until you finally fall for him, or at least see the way he can take care of you and finally kiss him back.

[He loves you, and that should be known by now, so why do you force his hands to do this, "why cant you just love him like he is", those were the last words you heard before he brought something to your lips and made you drink something unknown]

You are incredibly lucky that the 11th Harbinger is this patient with you, but dont push it too much, he can go to more bloody measures of getting you to fall for him if he sees it's needed. dont worry he wont hurt you too much, he loves you too much to do that, but love is complicated and you cant always control whom you fall in love with, so just love him will you, darling?

after all he knows the aphrodisiac he gave you wont last forever, so it would be better to just fall for him manually, right?

Scaramouche (manipulative, powerful x easily manipulated, weak[...i didnt know what to do here lol])

He might seem like he doesn't love at all, but when you aren't being dragged around to missions and meetings, and all alone with him in your shared chambers, he loves to just hug you, maybe litter kisses on your neck and collarbone. you hated it at first, and you still kind of do, but you've long since gotten used to it all.

He show his love for you when he has his hands all over your body as you dress into the clothes he picked out for you. he cant keep himself off of your lovely body, but would kill if anyone even touch a strand of your hair.

But oh how could you try 'nd leave when this weak little puppet is crying in your arms every night, when he has nightmares about you leaving him, dying when he can't be there to protect you... oh how foolish you are, how stupid you must be to fall for such things, as he has long since abandoned the idea of ever letting go of you.

And he'll make sure you dont let go of him either, because you need him. after all he was the one to save you from danger when you were stupid enough to walk too far into a hilichurl camp. you need protection, and he's rgith here willing to give it for "free".

Dottore (crazy scientist and his crazy lover[aka yandere x yandere but worse])

You lvoe each other in ways normal human minds wouldn't dream of ever understanding. he smiled when you gave him a dead body for experimenting, and the worst part? you had the biggest grin on your face, and a massive amount of blood on your hands and clothes, much to the dismay of many onlookers.

And then there's the fact that neither of you even spare a glance at the amount of blood on the others' clothes, or at least it looks like you don't. but when you are in the privacy of your shared bedroom (though filled with dead onlookers in the closet) you reward each other for getting rid of anyone who dares to interrupt, or archons forbid break, the love you two have.

It has been made a daily occurrence for you both to randomly disappear from the building with a fatui agent, who had taken too much attention from the other, and then come back alone with bloodied hands, and being greeted by a two-minute-long kiss when opening the lap doors again.

just two crazy maniacs in love, awwww (if they arent wanted in at least 6 nations they need to be)

thx for reading whatever this is, luv ya -Masterlist

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts

[doumadono]

hey! i dont know if this counts as an emergency request or not.😭🫶

tw: puke, sickness in general

i have a really horrible flu right now. ive even reached a fever of 104😵‍💫. ive been unable to keep anything down, not even liquids. my left lung hurts to even move, and i have a horrible cough and throat achs. are you able to do a little izuku midoriya x f!reader where f!reader is sick w/ what i described.? love ya!🫶🫶

A/N: it's important to note that in cases of severe illness or medical emergency, it's best to seek immediate assistance from a medical professional. I experienced similar symptoms recently, and it turned out that I had COVID, so perhaps you should consider getting tested

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

When Izuku sees you struggling with the flu symptoms, his heart aches for you. He's deeply concerned about your well-being and is determined to do everything he can to help you feel better.

As you cough and wince from the pain in your chest, Izuku gently rubs your back, trying to provide some comfort. He assures you that he's there for you and that you're not alone in this.

Seeing you unable to keep anything down, Izuku encourages you to try small sips of water and offers to moisten your lips with a damp cloth to help ease your discomfort. Izuku also prepares a simple and nourishing broth, carefully feeding you small spoonfuls, all the while offering encouraging words. "I know it's tough, but you need to keep your strength up. You're doing great."

He notices the feverish flush on your cheeks and immediately gets a cool compress to your forehead to help bring down your temperature, all the while expressing his worry for you.

When you shiver from the fever, Izuku wraps a warm blanket around you and sits close, gently rubbing your arms to help bring you some comfort. "I'll keep you warm, babe."

When you express how much your throat aches, Izuku brews a soothing herbal tea and carefully helps you take small sips, making sure it's not too hot.

Izuku carefully organizes your medication, setting reminders and ensuring you take each dose at the right time. "It's important to stay on top of your medication schedule. I've set up reminders for you, and I'll be here to help you with each dose."

He encourages you to rest, assuring you that he'll handle everything and that your well-being is the top priority. "You just focus on getting better. I'll take care of everything else."

As you struggle to catch your breath after a severe coughing fit, Deku gently takes your hand and rubs its top, whispering, "Just focus on the sound of my voice. You're going to be okay."

He sits beside you, softly talking about anything and everything to distract you from the discomfort, sharing stories about his day at hero work or recalling a funny memory to bring a smile to your face.

Izuku notices you're experiencing chest aches and remembers how you often find comfort using a heating pad during your period. He gently suggests, "I remember how the heating pad helps you during your period. Maybe it could provide some relief for your chest aches too. Would you like me to get it for you?"

As you struggle with the symptoms, Izuku remains by your side, holding your hand and offering words of encouragement, reminding you of your strength and resilience.

Izuku is attentive to your needs, making sure you have blankets, a comfortable pillow, and anything else that might provide relief, all the while expressing his unwavering support and care.

[evansboyfriend]

am i the only person who doesn't see buck as a people pleaser?

i see him as caring and attentive and someone who goes the extra mile to help the people he loves. he's someone you can rely on to be there when you need them.

people pleasing is a very specific trauma response behaviour that essentially means ignoring your own wants and needs, prioritising others over yourself, making yourself smaller, trying to keep the peace, not rock the boat.

that's not the buck who quit his job when he was desked. who sued the LAFD to get his job back. the guy who told the newbie "you're my problem" and ripped off bosko's temporary label from his designated shelf. or how about when his relationship with ali ended because she couldn't handle his risky job, and buck wasn't willing to compromise on it? when he told taylor kelly that they can wipe the slate clean between them but not continue their relationship? when he broke up with natalia because he realised she wasn't really interested in him as an actual person? if he ever displayed this behaviour, might've been with abby, which was a wholly fucked up relationship with buck looking for commitment (maybe for the first time in his life?) with a woman who wasn't looking for anything serious. but even then when he had doubts he talked to bobby about it.

my point is, when buck's upset about something, he doesn't stay quiet about it. he doesn't neglect his own wellbeing and doesn't compromise his peace just to make others happy. he'll go about it in very wrong ways, especially in the earlier seasons when he was still young and hadn't even began unpacking his childhood trauma, and he's matured since then, of course. and I think he had that "people would be better off without me" mentality but i don't think ive seen it since his coma, when he said that being buck is enough. he has grown so much (and i hope he will hold on to his newfound self esteem, i hope nothing will ever make him doubt his own worth).

but even in s7 - when he was bothered and did something about it. again, went about it the wrong ways. but he went to talk to maddie when he hurt eddie, admitted his mistake, made up with him (even though we didnt see it on screen). and then again when he thought he had sabotaged his first date with tommy, he talked to maddie and eddie, and then he reached out to ask for another chance, and invited him to his sister's wedding, insisting tommy should come as his date because he wanted him there (i'm not saying he wouldn't have taken no for an answer, but he knows what he wants and is vocal about it). and - throwing a bachelor party for chimney, who didn't even want one, but buck wanted to do the nice thing for his friend/future BIL and he made a theme around things chimney likes. being there for eddie and christopher but setting his boundaries ("i dont think i can explain this") because he cares about them and wants to help them any way he can.

this doesn't read as people-pleasing behaviour to me. buck is someone who cares so fucking much, no doubt about it, his compassion for others is endless. but he also goes for the things he wants and stands up for himself against things he doesn't tolerate.

[kuni-is-daddy]

I just want Scara to be an asshole giving me mixed signals, he sees us one day talking with Dottore and that’s a big no. He’s going to have to show you that your his (please I’m so down bad for this man) 🛐🛐

OMG AAA THAT MADE ME SAD BCUZ I SPECIFICALLY DONT FW DOTTORE BC OF SCARA. BUT THATS WHY HES SUCH A GOOD VILLAIN 😭

Brat.

DOM!Scaramouche x SUB! Female fatui harbinger reader.

Scara fic list

1.2k WORDS. FILTH.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Dottore trying to convince you to antagonize scaramouche and take advantage of him just so he can get off more experiments. Mentioning how its visible that scaramouche has a 'tolerance to you' unlike the rest of the fatui(except his 'bestie' Childe) Scaramouche would overhear this and only this part of the conversation.

Scaramouche would distance himself from you during dinner and missions for the rest of the week. During a gathering to honor childe and La signora for retrieving the geo archons gnosis you'd stand next to him and begin the conversation.

"Kuni? Love? How is your missions going? You've been busy lately and...we really havent had much time to talk. Do you want to catch up at my place after?" Scara had no intention of talking to you for god knows how long because he was truly hurt after seeing you talk to dottore. He started to believe over the course of the days he's been distant to you that you just didnt care, but after hearing 'you've been busy lately' he just assumed that you really we're oblivious. At the thought of it he smirked and then scoffed you off with a "Ok" while you smiled and gave him a one sided hug.

Scara who would purposely leave the gathering early just to wait for you inside your room in your house, Only with a black shirt and shorts on. "Oh- Kuni..Your already..here..I forgot you had a key. I see you made yourself at home" Youd try to brush it off with a laugh but his cold gaze upon you just gave you shivers. He pinned you against the wall and asked you immeditately. "What we're you doing with dottore?"

Smutt:

'Dottore..how did-' "S-scara We're you spying on me?!" he scoffed "Of fucking course i was? Where the hell we're you?! Ive been looking for you for fucking days and then I catch you with that bastard?! Have you forgotten what HE did to me y/n?" "No! No i havent.. Is that what this is about? because i talked to Dottore 1 time your all frustrated like this?" Scara was even more pissed off. first you talk to his enemy then act like its nothing. He was beyond fed up. "Kuni.. please, It was just for work. I would kill him in a heartbeat if it wasn't for our Excellency." "Yeah I know what fucking work you two we're talking about. Taking advantage of me? Huh? is that what you wanted to do Brat." "What?! no Kuni I'd never hurt-" He slammed his hand around your throat "AGh- Kuni-" "how about I take advantage of you huh? You want that?" You knew you were going to get punished anyway, god you despised your job even more. "Y-yes.. Kuni." "Good, that's what I wanted to fucking hear from you brat. Take off your top."

You nervously strip Infront of your s/o after he releases his grip off of your neck, gasping for air. "Shit look at these tits.." he leaned his head towards your chest, looking up at your expression before licking around your boobs. "Kuni~ stop.." you moaned while placing your hand against his smooth hair. "No. I'm going to mark your fucking body so you know your mine. Take it like a good girl." He caressed both of your breasts with his hands while rubbing your nipples with his finger. "K-Kuni! Be gentle..ah..your going too rough~" "shit.. I love how sensitive you are around your breasts. Makes me so hard. Are you wet for me Y/n?" You panned your face away and pouted. He grabbed hard on one of your boobs "AH~ Y-YES KUNI~" "Your so pathetic y/n, I'm trying to take your punishment slow yet you can't even answer for me. Maybe I should take you right now." He pulled away from your chest and moved his fingers down to your pants. You tried to pull away yet only now realizing you we're still against the wall. "Your so..wet y/n....love hearing your body throb for me..just like that.", He bit into the side of your neck, sucking while rubbing his finger against your clit "Scara..please AH~"

"Mmm mmm brat~ don't fucking beg for me now. I don't care about some shit rank, you need to know your worth. How your mine. How your my cocksleve. We're you showing yourself off to that sick fuck? Could he make you moan out like this?" "N-nO master~ I wouldn't..im' all yours~" Kuni's hard on grew though his pants. "Yeah theirs my good girl. Say master again and I'll let you cum on my fingers." His pace became rapid, scara put 2 inside of you as both of your body's jerked back and forth against the wall as if he was fucking you. It was too much, you could feel your heartbeat fastening in your chest, the lewd moans you let out while scara kept moaning praises in your ear "Yeah..just like that. Cum on masters fingers, be my good girl. Y/n. Cum for me. Cum baby."

"M-MASTER AH~ F-FUCK KUNI~" you gripped onto his back hard as you came along his fingers, legs shaking from the burning orgasm you just had. "God..look at how much you came on my fingers." He licked up your juices. "Ugh...you taste so good y/n. So fucking good. Maybe I shouldn't punish you since you did so well." He began picking up your shirt and bra. Up until you got on your knees, sticking your tongue out while pointing towards your mouth. He turned his head and immediately dropped your clothes. "Mmm look at this. And here I was thinking to let out off the hook" he squatted down to your height. Staring at the newfound desperation in your eyes while grabbing your hair.

"I don't care if the tsaritsa herself or the divine wants you against me. You'll only listen to me. And you'll only be mine, Y/N."

[moonlit-ivy-writes]

VALENTINE

I love the light in your eyes and the dark in your heart
You love our permanent chase and the bite of our bark
We know we're classic together like Egyptian gold
We love us

“I’m sorry baby I’m not going to be there...” Jeans voice was soft through the phone, he always delivers bad news in a whisper…

“What do you mean? You’re not coming up for the week? What-what about Valentine’s Day?” You were in shock that your boyfriend wasn’t going to be able to take a break from work for a holiday with you, he’s been gone for nearly 6 months.

“I know- I know it sucks, but I should be able to get free time the following week, or- uh, no maybe sometime in March. Sweet heart I’m really sorry but I have to go now. I’ll call you when I get home okay? I love you.” He hung up the phone before you could even say it back.

You fell into your bed and screamed your frustration into your pillow.

Bzzbzzbzz

A bunch of texts spamming your phone made you look up for a minute, expecting to see texts from your boyfriend. Instead, they were just a bunch of memes from Eren.

You sent back a frowny emoji, watching him type for a while and the bubble disappeared. Eren decided to FaceTime you instead.

“Wow, what happened to you,” he must of been referring to the black streak marks of mascara smudged down your cheeks. You rub your face, trying to remove the black gunk. “What’s wrong?”

“Jeanie isn’t visiting this week and I was looking forward to spending my first Valentine’s Day with a boyfriend.” You sighed.

Eren rolled his eyes, he never cared for your boyfriend. Always thought he was stuck up, and bragged about his job too much. “Well don’t worry about it YN, If you want we can rent that slasher fic Mikasa recommended and I could possibly get Armin too…”

You sighed dramatically, “I know it’s cliche, but i was looking forward to roses and chocolates.” Even though a night surrounded by your best friends does sound comforting.

“Well, no movie then, I’ll take you out.” You looked to stunned to speak so he reiterated as “just friends” but it cut a bit inside to say that out loud. Eren has always liked you, and has done a pretty good job at hiding his feelings. Although he did kiss you once at a party, the next morning you didn’t even remember. “Cheer up, i dont like it when your sad.” He gave you a cheeky grin and hung up the call.

+++

Fresh out of a hot shower you paced your bedroom in your underwear, what do you wear on a valentines date with your best friend. You looked at the dress you had saved for Jean, no way, you thought. Opting for a typical outfit of yours instead.

“Hey i let myself in if you...what are you wearing.” Eren stood in the door. He was all dressed up.

You turned around from your vanity, your hair still wet. Framing pieces stuck to the side of your face, shit… is he early or are you running late. Eren stepped forward, raising his hand and tucking your hair behind your ear. A small tingle sparked in your stomach, but you were probably just hungry. “What? Is this not nice?” You pouted a bit kinda hurt from the reaction he had.

“I said i was taking you out out, were not going to the library...” He eyed you up and down, before spotting the dress hanging on your closet door behind you. “What’s that?” He pointed.

“Oh, that’s what I was going to wear...”

“Put it on, I’ll wait for you in the living room… oh and hurry Ive got an eventful afternoon planned.” He left your room before you could even fight him on wearing the dress. You stared at it for a few minutes and shrugged to yourself. Someone might as well see you in this. After rushing through getting ready you snapped a pic, contemplating even sending it to Jean, why did you suddenly feel a bit guilty…

+++

Eren waited impatiently outside your bedroom, he had brought flowers for you, and decided to place them in a vase on your kitchen counter. He nervously arranged the roses. Fidgeting with the tiny baby’s breath that accented the bouquet.

“Oh Eren those are beautiful, you didnt have to-“ you startled him a bit and you held back a laugh.

His cheeks heated up once he caught sight of your dress, discreetly, he scanned over your outfit, starting from the black paten leather heals with a cute dainty strap at the ankle. Cautiously gazing up your beautiful bare legs, to mid thigh where this cruel red satin dress ended. Quickly he focused onto your face, hoping you didn’t catch him gawking.

Your make up was subtle, though the red lip was nothing but. He noticed the black choker on your neck, and lost his breath. He looked for words to describe how beautiful, no, gorgeous, no stunning. “You look-“ he starred at you, “wow..” he shook his head, embarrassing himself. You just giggled and stuck your nose into the roses. A little note laid in between some petals.

To my valentine with love.

Eren.

By now all of your dejection about your boyfriend not being here was gone, you were far too excited to see what Eren had in store for you.

Sitting in his passenger seat, you let him take you wherever he had planned. Turns out the plan was the beach. You two strolled down the dock. Other couples were out having fun, playing fair games and sharing funnel cakes. Seeing couples enjoying each other made you remember you weren’t here with Jean… You looked over at Eren who must have just noticed the disappointment on your face. Shoving cotton candy into your mouth as an attempt to keep those pesky boyfriend thoughts from filling your head and ruining his scheme. His true intentions… showing you how you should be treated, and being here for you when that stupid prick wouldn’t even bother to. “Come on YN,” he grabbed your hand and led you to the best date of your life.

+++

Watching the people on the beach at the top of the ferris wheel you held on tightly to the stuffed octopus Eren had won for you earlier in the evening. You leaned your head on his shoulder, and smiled to yourself,“I’m having fun Eren, thank you.” Your hand fell to your side, and softly grazed against his. You two hold hands all of the time, but for some reason, the slightest touch made you get goosebumps. You pulled your hand away and shyly held the plushy up to your face.

“Hey anything for you YN, I love you.” Eren says he loves you from time to time,but this time ….hearing it made your heart jump. “Are you hungry? I’d hate to end your fun but our reservation is in an hour, we should get going after this.”

“Reservation? I thought we’d just have chili dogs at the stand down there,” He laughed like you said a joke, you just stared at him dazed and confused.

“Don’t look so dumbfounded,” He pinched your cheek, “the dates not over, I’m gonna take you somewhere nice.”

Date…

Of course it was a “date” but when you accepted Eren’s invitation initially you didn’t completely view it as a romantic word, more so a platonic date… but now… things are starting to feel a bit too … complicated. You left the beach full of thoughts and feelings swirling through your head.

+++

“Eren!?” You gasped, pulling up to the valet of one of the finest restaurants in your city. “Eren we can’t eat here…”

“Why not, you think I don’t have the money?” he teased you and you tried to combat his reasonings, but just like the beginning of the day he was gone before you could argue with him. Dropping his keys into the hand of a stranger and walking over to your side, opening the door for you. His chivalrous behavior made you question who you really were on a date with today. This is a side of Eren you had never seen before and you were starting to fall for it.

A hostess guided the both of you to a table that was tucked behind a privacy wall and with full view of the city scape. With a now setting sun disappearing behind buildings. You glanced at Eren who wasn’t even enjoying this outstanding view with you. He eyes caught yours and a heat radiated through your chest. Fluttering butterflies in your stomach conveniently covered the vacant feeling of guilt that sat in your belly. No, you’re just hungry… yeah that’s it.

Jean not even crossing your mind once, the two of you laughed together about old memories over steak and wine. You immersed yourself in his charm, even if you were constantly catching yourself from falling for your best friend. He’s was just being a good friend, you thought. Don’t over think things.

“Would you care for dessert this evening?”

“Yes-“

“No,” Eren cut you off and you gave him a death glare. “I have something else planned for dessert, thank you for the great meal.” Watching him use his natural charm on the waitress brought you back to reality. He was just being nice and comforting his pathetic friend. The guilt was back on, how could you even entertain whatever silly fantasy you had convinced yourself was happening. This date was definitely all in your head.

+++

Eren saved a favorite of yours for last. Fro yo.

You two would meet up here every Saturday to gossip and complain about each others lives. Well not so much anymore, since you started seeing Jean. Eren stood inline to get you your favorite flavor as you waited in a corner booth for him, checking the notifications on your phone. To your surprise you had no notifs from Jean. A bitter taste not even fro yo could recover coated your mouth. Not even a ‘Happy Vday’ text. Did he seriously forget?

“Remember when that old lady slipped and fell and she spilled her cherry berry all over herself.” Eren came back with yogurt in hand. Tears stung your waterline. Almost dropping the cups, he quickly sat next to you.

“What’s wrong YN?”

“I just realized I’m having the best date of my life and it’s not even with my own boyfriend,” you let out a genuine chuckle. Laughing at your own pathetic relationship.

“You have such an ugly laugh,” Eren sucked on his spoon.

“No i dont, shut up,” you playfully pushed his shoulder, but he moved closer to you.

“I mean it, its cute.” He took a spoon full of pink delicious yogurt and pressed it to your nose, leaving melted fro yo on the tip. You scrunched your face up, and tried to wipe it into his shoulder.

“Hey! Hey! This is my nicest jacket you’re gonna ruin it” He pulled back, but you refused to let him get away with his crimes. Playfully pushing him but in his haste to get away from you, he lost balance. Grabbing onto your arm for support he managed to pull you closer to him. Your nose, still pink, now centimeters from his face. Eren spontaneously licked the yogurt off of your face.

Time froze colder than the freaking yogurt. It felt like you were buffering a response. You honestly didn’t know how to respond to that, verbally…but your body decided to respond for you.

Closing the gap between you quickly and kissing him. You didnt know what overcame your morality in that moment but it felt good. Your heart now beating out of your chest.

“Uh-Er,” you tried to make any excuse as to why you kissed him, but sadly couldn’t come up with anything other than. “Sorry-“

“Don’t be sorry, YN,” his hand firmly gripped your waist and pulled you back in to kiss you again.

+++

You zone out one hand on the doorknob the other holding your house key. “Is it weird that I feel weird about inviting you inside.” You laughed. “You practically live at my house.”

“You know i think this time, it’s just different,” his words not matching the intense feeling that flooded into your core. “I don’t have to come in, I had a really good time YN, I-“ he caught himself before he said anything. Not wanting to say it and then have you regret everything in the morning, just to get hurt. Nothing would hurt more than that. So he chose not to say it.

“I love you Eren,” shocked by what you so effortlessly said, you examined his reaction. Trying not to misinterpret his expression. His face lit up, as if he had never heard you say it before, not like this, this time he knew you felt it the way he did.

It don't matter, be combative or be sweet cherry pie
It don't matter just as long as I get all you tonight

At that moment, Eren took a risk, kissing you this time with a hint of lust. Patiently, he waited for your cue deepening the kiss and slightly moaning in his mouth. That was it. He knew he had you. His efforts of today paying off by the sweet aftertaste of fro yo on your lips.

You blindly unlock your front door, Eren hungrily placing kisses over your neck and shoulder. You led him back into your living room, kicking off your heals while still managing to tug and pull his bottom lip in between your teeth. Guiding him all the way to your bedroom. Where this date originated from just hours ago.

So deep, your DNA's being messed with my touch
Can’t beat us
So real, fueling the fire until we combust
Can’t touch us

Eren fell to his knees the moment your dress slipped off your body and onto the floor, he peppered kisses up your thigh, worshipping your body. Chills fell down your spine as the warmth of his breath closed in on your inner thighs. He dug his face in your sex, pulling the lace fabric that was in his way to the side. Kissing softly at your exposed skin. His fingers snuck behind you, feeling your curves, before hooking and pulling off your panties entirely. He looked up at you, grinning, before diving back into your flesh. Kissing and sucking gently on your skin.

His tongue dipped between your folds, his fingers moved from your thighs, now spreading you further open for him to devour your pussy. You gasped and moaned, finding balance with a fist full of his hair, making it a disheveled mess. You found yourself grinding instinctively on his tongue, chasing the growing pleasure in your core. Fuck.

The guilt that you let take a backseat behind your lust made the high of your orgasm sinfully better.

You watch him lick you up, through fluttering lashes. You’re now coming fully undone for him. Eren smiles, growing cocky. If he can get you coming just with his tongue, he can have you screaming for him at the end of the night. He stood up ,“You taste fucking amazing YN,” Ushering you to the bed, you laid back putting on a beautiful display for him, spreading your legs proudly. Inviting him back in, he leaned down devouring you once more. Sucking gently on the bundle of sensitive nerves earning sounds of praise from you.

He took care of your pussy so well, being mindful of what you liked and didn’t. Paying attention to your moans, you got louder and more breathy when his tongue dipped inside your entrance. You found yourself coming again for him, singing his name instead of Jeans. A newfound guilty pleasure erupted from your core along with a flow of juices. You gasped never have experienced a climax like this before. Eren relished in your wetness, soaking in your arousal.

“Can you do that again for me Valentine?” He sounded so eager, it made your knees weak. Blush painted your cheeks, he was quick to pull you back into his mouth. Fleeting feelings of embarrassment and guilt floated away. Your body listening to his pleas, unraveling waves of pleasure onto his tongue again and again.

Valentine

Part two mayhaps, It’s bedtime - Ivy

[thatneoncrisis]

I was just catching up on your most recent fic after a busy week and saw your AN and came here looking for more clarification.

I guess I don’t understand why you felt the need to take it upon yourself to write something that you knew would get the attention of the people you were satirizing. Your whole stance on fan fiction (based on your own personal statements in both your asks and your ANs) seems to be that if people aren’t doing it the way you personally like, they shouldn’t be doing it at all. You keep saying you want people to just talk to you about it but why should they when you haven’t extended that gesture to them?

Also it’s very odd of you to be speaking for an entire group of people you yourself do not identify with. To what end exactly? So you can pat yourself on the back and tell yourself you fandom correctly while everyone else doesn’t? Did someone come to you and ask you to advocate for them? It just doesn’t make sense why you felt like this was your responsibility to correct or something.

It kind of reeks of moral (and fandom) superiority, like you’re just doing the most to educate people (which is. Not a thing we need in fandom spaces) and keep them on your straight and narrow instead of letting fandom works be what they are which is, for most people, a fun, exploratory way to engage with the source material. Your GOTCHA attitude towards readers who were enjoying your “bland” fic was very shocking. It does come across like you just want to embarrass people who enjoy those types of stories and tropes and make yourself feel enlightened and better than them because you thought outside the box.

I don’t know. The idea of using these tropes as a tool to spring “THIS WASN’T REAL” on readers is fun but I think it would have been much better if you hadn’t actually been making fun of other people. That kind of spoils the whole experience of your fic. I’ve been a fan of your writing and art for a long time and I do genuinely understand the desire to have people write more of what you want to see/write things that feel more in-character, but the approach here is confusing and off putting and it’s pretty disappointing to see you openly hurt people just because you like dicking around and can’t just scroll past stories/ideas/headcanons you don’t agree with.

Anyway I doubt any of this will change your mind about what you did and I doubt you’ll even care about what I have to say about it. It’s hurtful and upon deeper inspection and reading and rereading the fic and your AN and asks, I’m pretty sure I’m one of the intended targets. This is kind of word vomit at this point as I try to get my thoughts out but you asked for the people you were criticizing to reach out so here I am. Discouraging and disappointing but I hope you found what you were looking for I guess.

see thats like. completely antithetical to the point ive been reiterating for like a week. i CANNOT stop anyone from writing and i dont want to this is not the take away and it never has been. if they want to write fifteen fics like that to spite me then good on them i really just

cannot keep saying enough that i dont want anyone to STOP writing. this was just me kind of screaming in the dark because i see the exact same patterns repeated over and over. you should never ever stop creating because some fucking nobody is frustrated with the content produced en mass for free as a hobby. there is no actionable Thing that can take place here i cant stop anyone from writing any of this i just kind of wanted some people to Think about what they were reading. ive gotten messages from people saying they didnt like the initial tone of the story before chapter 4 but kept reading it because they were desperate for content. thats nuts to me! but i also understand that those people just have very little to choose from. if anything i want MORE people to write

like i keep saying again and again i do not want and cannot stop anyone from writing whatever they want. im not your mom! and to a certain degree, this did come out of nowhere there was no big thing that set it off, it was just me being obscenely frustrated.

and what i am REALLY frustrated about is how presumptuous youre being! i do feel bad that i hurt people and i decided basically a day after i posted the chapter i would never do something like this ever again. theres just too much room for misinterpretation. you are actively reading me as malicious like we can just talk in dms. "im so disappointed in you" YOU DO NOT KNOW ME. THAT is the shit that is getting to me youre acting like i am incapable of acknowledging how i know this fic could have been interpreted. its up now i made my bed im not going to plug my ears and pretend a public vent wouldn't catch people unawares. i am no stupid and do not treat me as such

i am actively choosing not to post most of the asks i get in FAVOR of this because they are dumping on the kinds of fics i dont even necessarily like and i think that's just adding on. again this is why i spoke about braid tropes used, shit that could basically be applicable to any fandom, and not a particularly fic. i didnt want to go into someones comments or dms and say hey! your fic is personally, to me, bad and hard to read, might you explain yourself? like theres nothing TO explain its aet it just exists how it is. there was no nice way of doing this kind of thing, but itd be so sweet if people didnt call me a friendless clout chaser and do some "you'll never work in this town again" shit.

[skeletoninthemelonland]

First of all, so so sorry your situation. Im in a similar one actually so I really hope you're okay. Even though it's not dire, mine isn't either, it's very draining and can be super overwhelming since you dont have the support of your parents to guide you. People have already mentioned keeping documents in order. you mentioned commissions, time how long it takes you do to things and decided how you'd like to be paid based on the hour. Do Not undersell yourself. If you're uncomfortable with people maybe seeing your real name/using real info for payments, there are companies that work as your registered agent (at least that's what it's called in the usa) that you can use the address of for a yearly fee

You can also look into passive income things with art like making stickers for redbubble and Ive heard about artists making stock images before but I don't know how that really work tbh ^^;

-

here's a good post on general adult knowledge

here's a post on things to know once your out

Always Pay Rent First. Normally there's always some sort of way to get food, losing your apartment makes it super hard to keep a job

-

As for staying sane, people really help. Not necessarily even talking a whole ton.

Going and sitting at a cafe or park. wandering around a mall.

It's why I adore anime cons. You can look up board game or crafting groups in your area. If you're lgbtqia you can look for nearby queer centers, they're really helpful for advice and resources. Libraries are ridiculously useful. My nearby one hosts plenty of events and has a poster board for nearby event happening. You can just spend the afternoon there.

Journaling and deep breathing and calm music all really help me too.

Therapy has always been the most helpful but not everyone has access to that.

Also getting a good nights rest. So many of my problems have been helped a lot by getting better sleeping habits

-

As for where to move, think about things like climate, laws, how the people there act. My town is super queer friendly but two towns over they're very much not, so be careful. Normally a simple google search on the name of a town can tell you a lot about it.

When picking out apartments, things like if you have animals or a car are super important. I have a car so Im looking for somewhere that has dedicated parking cause I can't afford someone hitting it when it's parked on the side walk.

-

There are jobs that lead into other jobs. Knowing powered equipment, such as forklifts, can score you better paying jobs in the future.

If you're looking into something art wise, just focus on portfolio, no one cares if you went to college as long as you can do what they need.

There's also apps for things like setting up dog sitting. I've also heard of event staffing companies that'll give you jobs as they come, never done it though so look thoroughly into that.

you can look up the average rent/utilities and such of a town you want to live in to get an idea of what you'll be paying

-

Credit score is super important in the usa to renting, but I don't know if you have that or an equivalent. If there's is, there should be secured credit cards that help you start building credit if you have none.

-

Just remember that this won't last forever and you got this!! it's painful and scary but it's temporary.

Also remember that you still deserve better even though you're not being abused, it still hurts and that's vaild.

I dont know if any of this is helpful but I wish you the best and feel free to ask questions if you need anything :D

.

[scaphismpriest]

Tiktok is a cesspool of ableism against narcissists and usually I shake my head and roll my eyes, but i just saw a Tiktok comment that made my blood boil.

Keep in mind that this was on a cluster B safe post, and someone manages to think its okay to blame abuse on NARCISSISM. I am a person with BPD and NPD, im not going to get personal in my life because this is the internet and not everyone needs to know what ive fucking been through, but i know for damn sure that "narc abuse" is not a fucking thing and generalizes narcissists to be abusers and dangerous people. Sure, you can get abused by a narcissist, but you can also get abused by literary ANYONE, this is why you dont see people say "im suffering from blonde abuse" or "im recovering from christian abuse" because nobody in their fucking right mind would use someones appearance, race, mental health, religon, physical ability, gender, sexuality, ETC as a excuse to label and generalize a group of people to describe abuse. I had a ex girlfriend who would abuse me and she had BPD, I have a mother who also emotionally and verbally abuses me and shes schizophrenic. You dont see me say "im recovering from borderline abuse" or "im suffering from schizophrenic abuse" because that generalizes people with BPD and schizophrenia to be abusers. Do you see the fucking problem here yet? Oh but when its narcissists, or people with "scary mental disorders" like ASPD, then its suddenly okay to label us as scary abusers or dangerous people? Some of You claim to be advocates for mental health but when it comes to us then you suddenly give up because we're "too much for you to waste your time on" or that we're "Hopeless" and "Helpless" if you so called "Empaths", egotypicals, and neurotypicals actually gave a fucking shit about us, you would understand that we've also been hurt, we've been treated like shit and neglected by the world, we bite because we are scared, we are constantly in a battle of self hate and fake ego, we are insecure, we depend on attention and success to survive, we are neglected children at our core. if you really gave a shit about mental health and our well being, i wouldn't be here thinking "wow man i should really rid myself because the world views me as nothing but a monster so therefore i should off myself!" "but you've also hurt people!" I know, I am aware, I've already taken that accountabilty and MAJOR steps into becoming into a better person and have recovered greatly these past months and you dont know or understand me more than the people ive hurt personally, you dont get a say in what happens because thats NOT your ground to stand on and say whatever YOU think and ive had people disrespect that. I am FORTUNATE to even be loved and cared for still by the person ive hurt, and even I myself dont feel like I deserve that such mercy, I am forever grateful but It also makes me truly sad, not for myself, but for the person I love the most. I genuinely cried writing this, this is more so a vent but I hope someone sees this and atleast understand me on a true empathic level, instead of a perception. I hope i dont regret posting this, because this is the most youre gonna see me vulnerable for a LONG time.

[brokenchainsforgedbonds]

[lost characters as crane wives characters. lets go]

[jack shepherd - know how]

[fundamentally a song about anxiety and not being able to move on, feeling trapped and resistant to let things change even when it should be for the better. jack can't move on, it's a fundamental driver of the story, he always feels like he can't be done with anything.]

[kate austen - easier]

[ive talked about this before but. its literally her. girl who feels like she cant ever find peace staying in one place. girl who just wants to settle down but can never find a way to cure that aching in her chest to move.]

[john locke - new discovery]

[john felt like he was stuck, a sad old man with nothing to live for, just going through the motions without purpose. so, he searches for something to give him meaning, but even when he finds it in the island, he feels like he has to keep pushing and keep forcing on to preserve that sense of purpose, because he has to be moving towards something, or else it was all for nothing.]

[james "sawyer" ford - ancient history]

[okay i really love this one. ancient history's so james core its about a traumatic past that you can't help but let color your existence. like james, the singer feels defined by what's happened to them because of how much it still hurts them. he tries to move on, but he's trapped in cycles.]

[sayid jarrah - the wolf]

[well someone sure thinks they're a monster. the singer of the wolf sees themself as something dangerous and violent, something that will inevitably hurt the people they care about. both the singer & sayid feel like they're trapped in cycles that just hurt themself and others.]

[hugo "hurley" reyes - volta]

[very much a song about mental health. specifically it's about improving, finally deciding to do something about what you've been through. fundamentally volta's a song about hope & making a change for yourself in a way that's super reminiscent of hurley.]

[sun-hwa & jin-soo kwon - curses]

[okay yes i know all the rest of the characters got their own separate songs and all but 1. sun & jin's arcs are so heavily defined by each other in a way unique to them, and 2. curses is so incredibly them i dont want to pass it up. the two struggle to find the words for each other, to be open about what weighs on them and their secrets, to the point it nearly destroys their relationship. but, in the end, the two still stay together, they still try to improve their relationship.]

[charlie pace - the garden]

[the garden is in large part a song about catholic guilt. need i say more? it doesn't matter because i will. charlie feels incredibly guilty over his past and his actions, but struggles to respond to that guilt, instead stewing in self-hate and fear.]

[claire littleton - here i am]

[claire forever feels abandoned. in her flashbacks and by people on the island, she is always left behind by the people she cares about, until she feels like her loneliness is forcd to define her in season 6.]

[desmond hume - little soldiers]

[little soldiers is extremely despen coded. desmond insists that he cares about penny, but fears that after everything, he's hurt her too bad. and yet, him and penny still try, they still put in the work to improve and stay together.]

[aight thats all i can fit for now ill add a part two in a bit]