#i do all the dishes everytime i use the kitchen and take out the trash and recycling and put away stuff she and our other roomie leave out

[indigo]

living with other people really fucking sucks sometimes

[onosodaisilarap]

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It's exactly 14h25. I sink a little deeper into the chair and yawn. Sleepy…my eyelids slowly close and when my consciousness comes back, I shake my head, pinching my cheeks. Can't I just sit down without feeling tired? Tiredness really knows how to disguise itself sometimes.

My hands reach to rub my eyes. Anyways, gonna leave laziness aside and verify the remaining vegetables.

—Do these people have a problem with tomatoes? There are about 4 rotten ones here.—Who needs that? I get rid of them in a second and they are all crushed in the trash. What a bad smell that has…I hold back the urge to vomit. I have a deep problem with these things. My hate for bad smells is strong, no matter what it is. I throw away all the useless vegetables and clean the waste, the pantry, the refrigerator and the table. The aroma of the products and the soup once prepared perfumes the entire room. Now that's a kitchen! Although it wasn't so dirty before, the rotten vegetables really make it feel dirty. With them in the trash, it even got better.

That's good, isn't it?

________________

I don't really like meat. Actually, the texture is very weird for me. I seldomly eat it. Today, some stuffed meat pastries needed to be made. Well, it tastes good, I guess.

Again, sitting down on the same chair and looking at the same clock. My eyes follow the pointer everytime it moves. So strange...and comforting to relive this moment. It seems to be the peak of my day. Just staring at this clock. Just that. How glorious is time.

—Is there cucumber?—I stand up startled. The blonde standing by the door takes a step back.—Ah, pardon.

—Damn, you scared me!—I laugh and then shake my head. Yikes, that was out of nowhere.—Hm…cucumber, right? No.

—Ah...

—Do you want to eat something of cucumber?

—No. I just wanted one.—I let out a soft hum to her answer and wave.

—Got it. I'm sorry.—She leaves. How akward…I scratch my head. Someone would really come to a kitchen just to ask for a cucumber? Not gonna judge. Cravings do hit after all. I glance at the door every now and then and turn to the fridge. Are the cucumbers really ran out? I'll check again. Maybe my memory failed me...

I look for them over and over but don't find any cucumbers. My memory was right then. Good…I sit in the chair once again. The clock points at 2h15 pm. I yawn and my body softens.

________________

My eyes speak louder than my mouth, sometimes. My stomach growls louder than my thoughts sometimes. I cook, and finish the meals, and serve them. That's usually what I do, sometimes.

I'm doing the dishes. The tomatoes rest on the table, fresh and ripe. I look at them and go back to the sink. How strange it is to be alone in this kitchen…there are only a few dishes, so it’s not that much work. It's good money, so it's not too bad. Of course, I don't have to deal with inconvenient colleagues or disruptions to my schedule. I look at the tomatoes again, and they are rotten.

My eyes check them once more. They are normal. Huh...

Rotten?!

Huh…?

It doesn't matter. Just ignore that. I looked quickly. Yeah, it was definitely an optical illusion. I peek just once more. They're normal. Yes, it was an optical illusion. Optical illusion…? I laugh at what I thought. What a beautiful way of saying that I possibly hallucinated.

—Lady.—This voice. My head turns at its direction.

—Yes?—It's that blonde again. She's standing there by the side of the door, now stepping inside.—Cucumbers?

—No. Is there tomatoes?—I arch an eyebrow and point at them with my nose.

—Take one. They're clean and fresh.—I dry my hands on a dish cloth and use it to dry out the sink. All done! Good.

—Are they ripe?

—Huh? Are you not seeing it?—Now I'm facing this unkwnown girl, her hands hold a tomato and she sniffs it.

—Sometimes it's rotten inside.—Looks at me.

—I know when they're rotten or not. The skin is common to rot first. I don't remember seeing any vegetable or fruit rotting inside before the skin, but...I am no professional, just have the skills and need money, right?

Nothing is spoken back. No words, just the sound of a bite. And it was juicy. A bit of pulp ran to the ground. The blonde looks inside the bite.

—Is it…rotten?—I ask in a frivolous tone, almost like an ironic teasing. She turns her eyes to me and smiles.

—Yes.—My smile vanishes. I raise an eyebrow and get closer, looking inside the bite hole. It's not rotten...

—Very funny. Better luck next time.—I laugh again, but her expression didn't change at all. I'm becoming uncomfortable. I move away to get my personal space back. She leaves. How weird...

_________________

I look both ways before crossing. The street is a little busy. At least hassles can be avoided, on the one hand.

On the sidewalk, I look at the store windows. There are some opening, and several products on sale. I feel my stomach bubbling…uh…bubbling? I didn't realize I was so hungry. I'm already starting to hear the sound of snoring. As soon as I get home, I will prepare something to eat. I'm glad it's close... and since I didn't go to work today, I didn't have to walk as far.

Crossing the shortcut to the park near my neighborhood, the wind starts to blow. I'm suspecting some rain is going to fall soon...I'm glad I didn't go to work! I enter the park and walk around the playground to the street.

At home, I change my clothes and think about what to cook...my body feels weak, so maybe something with a lot of vitamins? Crossing the closet in my room, the big mirror reflects me. I stop walking, looking at myself out of curiosity. My whole body looks so anemic...really, I need some vitamins. Something that sustains...something tasty, but nothing heavy.

Thinking of some quick and easy recipes, I discard one by one, trying to decide and going downstairs, straight to the kitchen to turn over the four corners of the room, looking for ingredients. There's some interesting things here...it'll be a good dish and doesn't take too much time. I place everything on the table, starting the preparation with a pair of shaky hands. So hungry...

—Is there something missing…?—I sigh. What a pain... Do I have it? I guess-

A rotten tomato.

—Tsc, how disgusting.—It even reduced my hunger a little. Yucky…I use paper to wrap it and take it to the trash. It should have been here months ago and I forgot. I'm glad I found it, and for a change, I discovered that I didn't even have the ingredient I was looking for. That sucks. I clean the residue to remove the smell and the spoiled groove.

Now it's better.

I glance at the window by chance. The sky is already getting dark. The blonde is standing a little far away, facing my house and the pan already- I wrinkle my forehead. Where is the blonde standing...?! I look again, and she is gone.

____________________

A pleasing and unpleasant day at the same time like two sides of a coin. I sit down on the chair and the clock points at the numbers calmly. I tried to ignore what happened yesterday. I hope not to see her again today.

Besides, I think I did very well. The smell of food still fills the kitchen and everything is clean. I rub my face and then my eyes, the usual sluggishness overcoming me. It feels like I ate something spoiled…I even smell the rot out of nowhere. It's this filthy garbage. Again, I found rotten vegetables, I threw everything away, it became routine. It's a daily ritual, I always arrive and check the ingredients and it's always the fruits and vegetables that are rotten. Not all, but some always are.

It's 14h20. I stretch and a wave of discouragement hits me. I have to go to the doctor one of these days. My memories keep reliving the incident of the tomatoes and the blonde. I think the anemia is affecting my head. I don't know anymore. I need to go to the doctor.

—Rotten.—I stand up in a startled jolt. My heart sped up. I felt everything spinning for a moment. My view focuses on the door. It's her again. I frown and with a hand over my chest, say:

—What? You almost scared me to death again!

—I was talking to myself. I meant the smell...there's a rotten smell. Sorry.—I take a deep breath and calm down, still frustrated.

—Okay, yes. Everyday there's a rotten fruit or vegetable, I throw them away and then put the trash out.—Silence. I won't restrain myself.—Listen, who are you?

—They call me Miss Pepperoni, lady.

—What?

—I like pepperoni.—pauses.—You don't?

—Ahm…

—You don't like meat?—That's uncomfortable. I nod in response. What does it mean? And she didn't answer my question from before.—Why not?

—I wanted to know your name.

—I thought you already knew it.—I frowned my eyebrows.—What is she even talking about now? I remember the bizarre event from yesterday with the said Pepperoni. I don't really know what to think about it.

—How would I know? Do you also work here by any means? I don't even be in touch with other employees because my work is in the kitchen.

—My name is Morbida. I was a novice at a convent. I come here to eat.—What a weird name. I think to myself about what I saw and I'm still puzzled.

—It's weird that you just come inside the kitchen asking for tomatoes and cucumbers.—I say in distrust and don't worrying about faking it.—Are we going to ignore the elephant in the room forever?

She doesn't look shaken by my words. Actually, she has the same posture as before.

—What elephant?—Looks around.

—Why do you keep coming here to ask for cucumbers and tomatoes?—I hold myself not to say a thing about seeing her figure outside my window. Maybe it's not the right time.

Silence. Morbida seems to think about something, or maybe she really wants to ignore me.

—Because I'm hungry.—I think about it, trying to elaborate a good answer.

—Are you, by any means, friends with the owner?

—Why don't you eat meat?—I blink in surprise. At this rate, I should expect that she would ignore me. What type of question is this?

—What does it have to do with the matter?—That's not possible...I laugh in disbelief.—If you're hungry, why not asking for a dish? You said you like pepperoni.

—Is there cucumbers today?—I close my eyes in frustration. Gonna give up. Maybe I won't get any answers from Morbida, and apparently she's just a strange ex novice that likes salads, as weird as it seems.

—There are pickles. Cucumber is lacking again.

—I like pickles.

________________________

I am still thinking about the lack of answers. The view I had of the blonde from my window. The rotten tomatoes. However, I just ignored everything. After all, I wasn't at my best, apparently. I've been really distracted.

I pass the posts with missing posters and turn around. My belly growls and I feel weak. I'm already getting home, just a little more, please...I start coughing with a bitter taste creeping up my throat. Ugh, I don't want to vomit here! I desperately try to look for some out-of-the-way place to do this, or a public bathroom. There's no time, it starts to come out.

I widen my eyes. Several larvae fall together. Some wrapping themselves around each other in ruffles filled with gastric liquid. What a pain! No one seems to notice, they are walking past me without saying anything. I feel cold. My body is sweating and shaking. My heart beats uncontrollably. The electric charge of fright and fear keeps my eyes fixed on the animals on the ground. I can barely breathe. How disgusting…how disgusting…did I eat something spoiled? Did…did that really happen? The smell fills my nostrils as they stir through the puddle. My stomach growls again. Close my eyes. I give myself a long minute to calm down and until then, I can recover a lot. It's fine...I'm fine.

They are no longer here. I notice it when I open my eyes. The larvae are not here, there is no gastric juice and horrible smell. The bitter taste disappeared from my mouth. I look around, everything is as it always was and there is no one looking at me. It was all in my head.

I was just salivating.

__________________

My other days of work were exceptionally the same as all of the other ones, always having its peak on the break in which I sit on the chair and watch the clock. Everyday, no exception. The blonde didn't show up anymore and I consider it a relief. In contrast, the rotten food keeps being the lowest point. It's the worst thing, for me, but I try to treat it as a common daily event —which is a fact— rather than worrying so much.

Every now and then I think about the larvae incident. After the previous delusions, I ended up not caring. I tried to see a doctor, but I can never make an appointment. Psychiatrists usually have full schedules, hematologists too. I'm getting frustrated, but I can't stop working. I've been at this restaurant for 4 months now, wanting to move to another job, however, quitting now could be self-sabotage.

I fell into a loop of thoughts, and barely extricated myself. My hair is falling off a bit. Flies hover around the trash. When my shift is over, I'll put it outside. I yawn and look at the clock. 14:14. I want to sleep. I also want to eat. I want to go home. I don't want to lift a single finger, but I do. Now standing, I check the pantry. I look in the closet and open the fridge.

A horrible surprise. The worst of all.

This smell...of something spoiled. But it's even more disgusting than the vegetables and fruits. I scan over the products until my eyes fall at the sight of a specific one. A meat wrapped in plastic.

—I didn't see it before...?—How not? I always turn everything over when arriving. How did I not see it? And meat?! I carefully hold the handles of the bag and place it on the table, then open it and look inside. A big piece of rotten raw meat. The flies immediately fly towards it, thirsty. This again? I close my eyes and squeeze them, opening up again. It's still here.

Unbelievable...

Holding my breath and sickness, it just gets worse. I tighten the handles in a knot and carry it to the trash can. Disgusting, disgusting, disgusting, disgusting!

—Eat it.—I stop walking, processing what I heard. Is there someone here? I turn my face slowly, and there it is. The strange novice. Morbida, again. Now she seems to smile with a lot of calmness.

—What...?

—Eat the meat. I left it for you.—I let out an incredulous air. My body froze. What was that I heard? I take a step back.

—What?

—I left the meat for you. Eat it.—She came closer and stopped 10 steps away from me. My hands started to sweat and my neck as well. An icy sensation runs through the entire extension of my body. My chest rises and falls quicker, I shake my head in denial.

—You're crazy! Get out! How did you leave this meat here if I didn't see you getting in at any moment?!

—How are you so sure it wasn't here since the start? You're too quick to assume.—Silence. I open the trashcan, wanting to pretend I am not in this situation, but it's getting complicated to ignore.—Eat the meat.

I swallow hard. I purse my lips and look at her again.

—No. Leave me alone.—My sight blurs at the same moment. I feel my back touching an icy surface. Something salty in my mouth. A hideous scream. Bugs squirming in the back of my throat. I see nothing but darkness. Panic sets in quickly enough to lock my thoughts into one: “Eat the meat.”

No. No. I'm not eating the meat. I'm not eating the meat. I'm not eating the...

Meat.

Meat?

My eyes are open. I'm lying on the kitchen floor. A huge piece of raw meat is stuffed in my mouth and I spit it out. I sit down and put my hand on my chest. What was this?! What w-

I see the flesh on the floor. It's not spoiled. How bizarre...how bizarre. I look around, Morbida is lying in the corner with her belly open. It is indisputable. I get up in panic, grabbing my things and run away from the restaurant. I run down the streets. I pass by the post with the posters of the missing people. One of them has “novice” written on it.

I get home quickly and lock myself in my room, curled up in the corner and holding my head. The rotten smell continues to invade my nostrils. I hold my breath and purse my lips tightly. My hands shake. Everything goes dark.

I really hate meat.

_______________________

Today, I got an appointment with a hematologist. I'm scheduling an appointment with a psychiatrist too and haven't eaten anything all day. My belly won't stop growling. Fatigue never stops consuming me.

It's been days.

The blonde doesn't stop staring at me. The faces of the posters don't stop watching me. All they are saying is: eat meat.

My big toe itches like something is hanging off it.

Good thing I don't have work tomorrow.

[medusozoic]

Life hacks with Ilse; how to be a bare minimum student (for people that were not raised right)

1. Flush the toilet after you use it!

2. Leave the kitchen in a useable state. Like preferably don't leave dishes at all in the living area but please don't complete the entire counter with dirty dishes of multiple days

3. NEVER leave dirty dishes in the sink. I need to use that water wtf

4. Throw food from your plate into the trash BEFORE you wash it in the sink. Or clean up the food left in the sink after you do it

5. Don't put your litter box next to the couch and then never clean it :)

6. Don't leave out food from the fridge

7. Don't fill the living room with trash bags filled with random boxes and clothes (?????)

8. Don't treat other peoples food as communal use (once is fine, but let them know and try to ask everytime honestly)

9. If you put plants in the living space, take care of them yourself.

10. If you used the dishwasher/drying rack, please also you know.... Remove the clean dishes instead of waiting till it becomes such a problem that someone else has to do it

[fuck-you-i-am-spiderman]

Rotten OT4 ❤🕷

This was a lot of fun and I took way too long thinking about this 😅

Who washes the dishes by hand and who uses the dishwasher?

Carlos washes the dishes by hand. He'll get anxious about them building up, during their first few nights in the starter cottage they live together fight me he'd still be up at 3am cleaning. Carlos and Evie now have a routine to get the dishes done. Evie helps him by drying the dishes, they listen to music and sing along as they work. Mal and Jay fight with the dishwasher, they're the idiots that try and cram as many dishes into the trays as humanly possible, and then whine when it won't shut properly. 

Who cuts vegetables, fruit, etc by hand and who uses the easy to use chopper?

Mal loves to chop everything by hand, she'll chop really quickly and get excited when she can use the big knife. The others tend to stay on the other side of the kitchen when Mal is wielding her weapons, attacking vegetables with far too much glee. Carlos likes to use the easy chopper because he likes to fiddle with it to see if he can get it to chop any faster. Jay still glares at the vegetables Evie brings into the house. 

Who pours the cereal into the bowl first and who pours milk before the cereal?

Mal eats her cereal dry because she's an animal. Evie likes to eat fruit and granola in the morning, Mal chops fruit especially and crafts apple peel in the shape of a rose. Evie is always making smoothie bowls and snapping pictures of Mal's fruity creations for her Instagram. Carlos loves chocolatey cereal and pours in milk afterwards to create a perfect fusion. Jay pours milk in first and watches with far too much amusement as the other three all stare at him in horror. Jay and Carlos get into daily arguments about Jay being a monster and it only makes Jay do it more. 

Who buys/drinks bottle water and who uses/drinks from the tap?

Carlos drinks straight from the tap and will lean over really far to drink from it. Evie decides it's a safer option to buy a few bottles of water whenever they go grocery shopping. Jay loves getting energy drinks, like those still sports drinks that come in orange or blue raspberry or some shit. He likes bottled water so he can take it to the gym with him. Mal literally forgets to drink. It'll be like 7pm and she won't have drank anything. At which point she'll get three glasses of water shoved in her face and they won't let up until she's drank them. 

Who hoards disposable containers and who throws them away?

Evie throws them away. Carlos doesn't like the clutter and everytime Jay leaves a tower of disposable containers lying around Carlos will go around very loudly throwing them away to make a point. 

Who buys milk in a paper carton and who buys it in a plastic jug?

They all vote for a plastic jug. They go through milk very quickly so none of them tend to like getting cartons. 

Who picks paper bags and who picks plastic bags after grocery shopping?

Jay attempts to carry everything without a bag, he has competitions with Mal over who is the first to crack and grab a bag. Evie loves the reusable bags and freezer bags that have cute patterns on. 

Who HOARDS the plastic bags and who recycles them?

They all hoard them, they say they'll use them when they go shopping but they'll never bring them so they just end up with cupboards full of plastic bags that Carlos insists they still need. 

Who hoards salt/pepper packs, to-go silverware and other to-go condiments?

They all steal plastic cutlery and will purposely grab like 20 packets of ketchup every time they're anywhere in Auradon. They do it because it's fun and everyone is still a little scared of them so they're not going to tell them they can't take 20 packets of sugar. Or when restaurants have the bowls of mints and such and Carlos is just there shoving handfuls into his mouth and Evie's got 10 packets of those wipes that smell of lemon. The workers don't even see Mal with a backpack full of breadsticks or Jay racing away with a bowl of candy he took from the desert bar.

Who lets the garbage overflow before throwing it out?

Mal. Jay definitely doesn't help. They have trash throwing competitions and then there's just a litter of trash scattered around just shy of the trash can. Carlos throws it out because Evie refuses to, she spends a lot of time lecturing Mal and Jay for letting it build up. 

Who gets annoyed when someone doesn’t use the clips for the potato chips?

Evie. She bought them for a reason and its something constantly brought up during one of their house meetings, along with why Mal and Jay never use the chore wheel and pleading with Carlos to stop tinkering with their toaster. 

Who uses paper plates?

Surprisingly Evie. The got a bunch of fancy plates and she doesn't want to use them. But also, she works a long time in her studio and needs something quick and disposable when she's really in the throws of it. 

Who uses coasters?

Evie and Carlos use coasters. They spent time picking out these really fun designs. Mal doesn't use them, says they're a waste of money. Jay puts things right next to the coaster. 

Who licks the spoon/butter knife after they use it?

Carlos and then Mal chases him around the kitchen to get it back. 

Who loses the bread ties?

Jay. But he doesn't lose them, he literally just takes them, it's almost like a force of habit but it's his natural instinct to grab it and he doesn't realise he's done it until Evie is frantically searching the kitchen for ties and Jay finds some in his pocket. 

Who kicks the ice under the fridge when it falls on the ground?

Mal. She be vicious and they can't stop her. 

Who constantly cuts/burns themselves when they cook?

Again Mal. It's not that she's bad at cooking, she's not. It's just that she doesn't really pay attention to how far away things are or she'll just go to touch a hot pan because she wants to just grab the food and get it sorted. She's an impatient cook and it leads to accidents a lot. Because she speed chops and tries to do everything in a very artsy way she'll slice her finger and Carlos is scrambling to wrap her hand in a cloth whilst Mal barely bat's an eyelid. 

Who organizes the spice rack?

Mal and Carlos. They debate over it for a while but ultimately decide on a good organisation system that please them both. 

 Who uses the microwave more?

Jay. He'll just shove whatever he can in the microwave and call it good. Evie has stopped wrestling him for the toasties he insists on microwaving and then pleads with Mal to cook them a more substantial meal. 

Who stops the microwave one second before time's up?

Mal. She's impatient and wants her food done. She doesn't like waiting and she'll leave it blinking as she waltzes away with her food. It's one of Carlos's pet peeves. 

[creative-robot]

This is my request for more work stories!

Oh absolutely! 

For a little clarification, I’m a Host in the Restaurant part but the big main part of the building is the attached bakery/retail area up front so theres like, 5 different kitchens alone, I’ll refer to them by how I know them which is the Mixing kitchen, the Restaurant kitchen, and the other three that do baking stuff as the Baking Kitchens

This is in no special order at all just the order I remembered them

As a Host you would think I’d be on par with the servers but the truth is If the Manager isn't right there I'm pretty much in charge of the restaurant and do my best with what I have, which means I have to move. fast.

I just learned earlier this week that the entire packaging department can't remember my name so they just call me ‘The Speed Demon’ and honestly how dope is that I get complimented/shocked reactions to my speed every shift I don't know man I'm just gay and have shit to do

We once had a really confused drunk dude come in on Saint Patricks Day who seemed completely baffled by the idea of a restaurant so since it was hella dead and I was bored as all hell I entertained his drunk questions for like 45 minutes explaining how a restaurant works and what we make till he said bye and wandered out looking mildly bewildered still

We also had a drunk dude come in on a random dead Saturday (which was weird and I think it was while the GOT finale was airing, we have no TVs so I was. dying. from boredom), this was not a fun drunk and we had to call the cops on him for being creepy and after he was kicked out he walked around the parking lot and kept jumping to himself before circling the building a few times and leaving once the cop showed up. Cleaning the bathroom was disgusting after he left lemme tell ya

The dish manager and the kitchen manager are ALWAYS at odds with each other no matter who the dish manager is that month (Staff rotates real quick back there) and there's always shittalk being thrown across the hallway between them and occasionally a bottle, I once scolded both of them to stop acting like children cause a bottle smashed and it was loud and close enough to make my hearing go out for like three minutes and when they both just brushed me off I went straight to the owner and now it's pretty rare for glass, at least, to get thrown

Theres a stairway that leads to the upstairs offices and everyone just knows that they're either cursed or haunted, we don't talk about it but only the managers go up there and I've only been up them once and it was incredibly gut-churning so I haven't ever tried again

Life tip: Always be nice to your HR folks, they can help you

One of the baking kitchens kept stealing everyone else brooms and one day a server had just had ENOUGH and stormed back there to tell them what for. I didn't get to see what happened but I'm told the poor dudes back there were pale by the time she was done and now we have a cool new broom and dustpan that's labeled for the Restaurant and no more broom thefts for a while

Kids just like my aura or something cause everytime there's a kid in the restaurant they flag me down to chat a little and sometimes kids walk past an entire bakery of employees to ask me for help instead of them, I always pause to help them before adults or give them a little time to chat even when we’re busy and all the servers goodnaturedly tease me about it

What happens in the break room stays in the break room and anything said after someones clocked out won't be repeated, it's hilarious to watch the bakers calmly walk in, clock out, scan for someone in management, and then explode with frustration to whoever's in there. please be nice to cake bakers and decorators specifically they have to put up with SO MUCH SHIT BEHIND THE SCENES

Sometimes there’ll be free stuff in the Break Room ala extras, unsolds, or fucked up treats that are fine but they don't look sellable. This is rare for the front of house restaurant staff to get their hands on since we don't get lunch or proper breaks so retail always relays when there's goodies and we’re all enemies for a good five minutes as we grab stuff and shove it in our lockers before returning to normal but everyone goes feral for the breakfast sandwiches 

I’m unofficially Head Host so I know most of the regulars and they know not to pull shit on me and several of them take enjoyment watching me deflect non-regulars bs and often butt in when they won't give up to tell them to shove it since I just won't break or give in

The retail folks regularly use their lunch breaks to go scream in the big freezers and this is just expected and accepted

The Bakers also regularly go scream in the oven rooms, this is also just A Thing no one questions  

Theres only a little waiting room area between me and the bar so yes, I have been hit with wine corks before when they go flying and the newest bartender is already at three hits but honestly, I don't really care so whenever it happens I just say a random number of points and toss the cork in my trash

Someday I hope to catch it all cool and suave and that's prolly not gonna happen anytime soon but god I want to SO BAD

I once had a woman walk in with an entire soccer team and I had to be like ‘Lady we don't even have enough tables for all of you normally much less right at noon are you nuts’ and she refused to believe me or sit outside so when I quoted her an hour and a half she was PISSED and asked for my manager (who had been hiding behind the bar cause good lord do we get Karens a lot) who came over and explained that there was no way we could seat them and to have a good day and she went RED and stormed out with the team trailing behind her looking embarrassed. She attempted this three more times that week I'm not even joking 

White haired old ladies are constantly amazed and curious about us young’uns styles and while the servers get most of the enthusiastic questions about their gauges and tattoos and hairstyles I have had a few ask me what was even happening with my hair bc they loved it but ‘it's so different!’ (I have an all around undercut with only hair on top that goes down to my chin so I braid it up for work, it's baffling I guess lol) they genuinely love hearing about it and I’ve given a few of them tips for their kid's hair and style names, I just love it and had to mention it

Some of this is just me rambling lol but yeah my work is wack

[missnxthingg]

can you make an imagien where the reader meets tom hollnad but she is also an actress and tom falls instantly in love with her but she only see to as a friend.

AN: I tried to do it as good as possible, sorry if it’s a complete trash. Anyway, thank you for sending your request, hope you like it! Also, I’m gonna vanish from tumblr until I see FFH, because I bought tickets to see it on Monday and there’s still some days left to go. I’m trying to go without any spoilers just like I did with Endgame.

Words: 1.7K

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: Angst, a little bit of cuteness, kissing and swearing. Also not my gif!

It was first day of work. You’ve never worked in such a big production like this. You were new at this acting thing, and doing a Marvel movie, specially one that you are one of the main characters was huge for you. So that was the first day you were going to meet everyone in the cast and crew, and you were very. So Jon, the director, introduced you to everyone. So you met, Jacob, Zendaya, Marissa, and so on. But there’s someone missing.

“Oh and finally, the start of the show. Thomas, come here.” Jon said, referring to the boy having a snack. He turned around and swallowed whatever it was on his mouth. “I want you to meet the girl for that love interest Spider Man is going to have. This is Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Oh great, I’m Tom, nice to meet you.” You reached for his hand and he smiled.

“Nice to meet you too, I’m Y/N.” He kept staring for a while, and that made you blush. He’s cute, and having a cute guy looking at you can make you easily blush.

“You’re going to spend a lot of time together, so you better get along.”

“Oh, we will.” Tom said and smiled at you again. Something was telling you it was going to be a different kind of friendship. “Come on, let me show you around.” 

(…)

“Cut!” Jon said, and a bell rang, saying it’s finally over, and you thanked God it was over. “What’s the matter with you, Y/N? Can’t you just kiss Tom?”

“I can’t, his face makes me wanna start laughing and I never get to do the scene.” You said, getting away from Tom and reaching for your bottle of water.

“You better be ready to kiss him tomorrow, and no laughing. We can’t keep avoiding it, when have a deadline to deliver this movie.”

“Okay, sorry. We’ll do it tomorrow.” You said, raising your hands and turning around to go to your dressing room.

“Alright everyone, see you all tomorrow, same time.” Jon said and everyone started to organize all of the stuff around the set. 

You finally got to your dressing room, and lied down on the sofa and closed your eyes for a bit. It was the third time you messed this scene up, but there was nothing you could do, because kissing the person you got so close to during this shooting was so hardy. Tom became one of your best friends and it’s weird to kiss your best friend.

“Hey, do you want a ride home?” Tom said, getting his head into the dressing room.

“I’ll take a taxi. Go home, love.”

“Actually, I asked you if you wanted a ride just for an excuse to crash at your place.” He smiled and you laughed.

“Okay, but you’re gonna pay something for us to eat.” You pointed at him and got up to get yourself out of your suit. “Just wait for me to take off my pretty ordinary outfit.”

“Alright love, I’ll wait for you at my room, I have to call my mom anyway, or she’ll kill me.”

“Go ahead, momma’s boy.” He smiled again and left.

You got into your sweat pants, jumper and flip floss. All the makeup was removed from your face and your were ready to go home. So you took your backpack and got to Tom’s room, and he was finishing the call with his mom. You hugged him from behind and closed your eyes. You were so tired you could just sleep like that.

“Ready?” He asked and you just nodded in response and he turned around and hugged you properly. “Come on darling, I know you’re tired but we need to go home.”

“I could sleep just like this.”

“Maybe in your own bed. Come on, let’s go.” He held her backpack with one hand, and the other held her hand.

They said goodbye to everyone and got to the car. The ride was supposed to be quick, if you didn’t ask for a McDonald’s burger. He pulled into the drive through to order your food, but the line was very big. You were talking about today on set and laughing a lot.

“I know I have a funny face, but don’t laugh at me, it makes me really sad.”

“I’m sorry, love. It’s just… You’re my best friend and kissing you is weird as fuck.” He stopped laughing and kept going with the car.

“Yeah… Best friend. But you know, you’ll have to kiss me tomorrow, anyway. You better be ready for Tomnado.”

“You’re an idiot.” You said.

Once you finally got the order, you drove home as quick as possible. You were both tired and all you wanted to do was throw yourselves at the sofa and watch something funny. As so you did, you had your dinner at the sofa, watching something funny on TV, under the blankets. Once you were both finished, Tom took the dishes to the kitchen, and came back to lie on the sofa with you, but you were already getting up to bed.

“Oh, you’re going to bed. I’ll just sleep here…”

“Don’t be an idiot. You’re not going to sleep at the living room. Come on, I have a warm bed waiting.”

You turned around and he smiled thinking “Fuck, I love her so much”. He followed you and found you already on you PJs, sitting on the sink, brushing your teeth. He approached only to find a toothbrush waiting for him right there. He smiled at you and started to brush his teeth as well. Once you were done, you left for your bed, and got under the covers, waiting for Tom. He came around and lied next to your. Your arms involved him into a comfortable hug, him lying on your chest, your head resting on top of his, and the complete silence around the room. Tom prayed that you couldn’t listen to how hard his heart was beating out of his chest, but was kind of disappointed for not being able to hear anything coming out of yours.

“Tom.” You whispered and he nodded in response. “Are you asleep?”

“No, what is it love?” He said looking at you.

“Don’t take this the wrong way.” You said and he stared at your E/C eyes. “But kiss me.”

He was impressed, now heart beating faster than before. He got on top of you, hands on your nape and soon he was close enough. He brushed your lips together and finally kissed you. It was just like he always imagined, sweet and really slow. He took advantage of every bit of it, doing it as slowly as possible, but everything had to come to an end sometime.

“You’re a really great kisser, Thomas.” She said and he left another kiss on her lips. “This way I won’t be so nervous tomorrow, thank you buddy.”

Buddy. Those words cut through the air like sharpened knives right into his chest. He lied down, not facing her, pretty disappointed on what she just said. But she came to do the bigger spoon role, and as much as he didn’t want to, his heart started to beat as faster as before.

“Aren’t you gonna give me a good night kiss?” She said, waiting for his response. “Come on, my forehead is waiting.

“Good night, Y/N.” He said, not turning around. He could feel her hands loose around him, and she turned around, and they slept back to back, very far away from each other,

“Good night, Tom.”

(…)

“I really wanna kiss you right now.” Tom said using his best american accent, with his mask only showing his mouth and part of his nose. You were now doing that scene you kept delaying so much, but there was no escape this time, even though you didn’t wanna do it, specially after last night’s event.

“So kiss me.” She said and he leaned to kiss you one more time, just like he did last night.

“Aaaaaand, cut!” Jon said and the bell rang again. “Perfect! How did you too got to do it so perfectly the first time?”

“So we could not do it a second one.” He said and left, keeping Jon impressed behind.

“What happened with him?” He asked and you gave him the shoulders.

“I don’t know, he’s not talking to me since last night.”

“Go solve it, you’re really good friends for this kind of thing. 15 minutes everyone!” He said, giving you time to run after Tom, who locked himself into his dressing room. You didn’t even knock and just got in already talking.

“Okay Thomas, you’re gonna tell me what’s wrong right now or…” You looked at his, sitting in front of the mirror, crying his heart out. “Are you crying?”

“Please, Y/N, go away!” He said, trying to cover his face with his hands.

“What happened?” She closed the door behind her.

“Go away!”

“No, I’m not going. My best friend’s crying and I’m not leaving him like this.” You tried to approach, but he pushed you back. “Don’t fucking do this to me Thomas. Why are you acting like this?”

“Because I’m in love with you, idiot.” He said, turning to face you. You felt like you had something stuck on your throat. “And I know you don’t love me this way, and that hurts me so much. I just wanna be alone, please.”

“I’m so sorry Tom. I really am. But even though I don’t feel the same way, I’m not leaving.”

“Please don’t do this to me.” He said and you held his face in between your hands, cleaning some tears falling. “Everytime I look at you, I feel like I’m gonna explode. Sometimes with love, sometimes with pain. But now it just hurts.”

“I’m sorry.” He got up and cleaned his tears.

“Sorry, I don’t think we can be friends anymore. Not for a while, I guess.” He left the room, leaving you behind with your heart aching so much.

“Fuck…” You whispered, letting your tears finally fall down from your face. You knew in that moment you had lost your best friend.

[bard-dadsquared]

In other news, I do need validation. Long angry rant is about to happen.

The other day I called my Ex on fb so he could talk to our son. I made a comment later that day how he looked like he hadnt been sleeping and how he seemed like he may be depressed, and the person i was talking to was just like

"Poor guy :(("

To which I just shrugged and told them that I didnt feel bad for him, everything he's feeling, he brought on himself.

They said "I feel kinds bad for him because I know he loves you!"

And I'm just???

Maybe he did?? Maybe he does?? But that doesn't negate all the shit he did to drive me the fuck away. I loved him too once. But then everything I said, everything I felt, everything I tried to ask for fell on deaf ears.

I don't feel bad for him because when we moved to the duplex in Texas, he left all the loading and packing to me. It was up to me to find people to help me move stuff to the new place and make sure everything was packed and ready to go. All he worried about was his PC and his desk. Hell even my brother and I had to put my bed frame together because he hadn't done it.

He was an asshole everytime we had to go back to the other house to help clean up too and got mad once because my mom asked us to bring something and he didnt bring it.

But things settled down mostly. I hated how i was expected to do almost everything but it was manageable.

Then he wanted to move and find a new job, which was fine, he sorta?? Let me know what kind of jobs he was applying for and where. But when he got an offer, he accepted it without even talking to me about it. The job he took he was going to start in two months and I had less than a months notice to pack all of our shit and leave not only that but they didn't offer relocation and he was going to be getting a little less in pay. We had less than a month to move Which again- he barely helped with. All the sorting through shit and packing was left up to me once again. I ended up leaving almost all of our stuff behind because I couldnt fucking take it with me to my moms.

I gave Virginia a shot and i was more miserable than I've been ever. I was expected to do everything. EVERYTHING. I decided to go to California. I had originally hoped that in doing so we could save some money and he could use the money we saved to get stuff for the apartment to make it more comfortable.

Which didnt really happen until April. After being with Family in Cali for a while, seeing how well lucian was doing and stuff, I honestly didn't wanna go back. I went back to sign the lease and then again a couple months after my aunt died because of how tense things were at the house, i figured it'd be a last ditch effort to save things.

But no. I tried to tell him how I felt. I tried to tell him what bothered me, why i was so depressed. I told him I felt lonely, I told him I felt like i was expected to do everything. And it always. always felt like I was talking to a wall

I told him I wished wed go out and do things more, that itd be nice and I might meet people. He wanted me to meet people online first and then meet them in person. Which totally defeated the purpose of getting me out of the. House to socialize, and even if indidnt make any friends then at least I got out and was productive. But he doesnt like leaving the house.

I told him countless times that I felt like it was unfair that he expected me to do so much work around then house with minimal help, but nothing changed. He thought helping more meant cleaning the kitchen and making easy dinners.

And while I appreciated it in wished hed help more with the living room too, or the laundry, or anything else literally. The most recent time I brought it up he managed to turn it around to finances and told me that he doesnt spend money on himself because he spends it all on me and Lucian. He told me that if i didnt get what I wanted I essentially acted like it was the end of the world.

Granted yes, I'd get disappointed and my displays depending on my mood or whether or not the item was seasonal or limited edition varried from minor to being a little mopey (i really tried not to be, most of the time i was usually more upset about the ungodly cost than anything.)

Then he invades my privacy, not once but twice I found out. This son of a bitch logged on to my discord, TWICE.

The first time he did it was a day I cleaned the whole apartment. Like I vacuumed, shampooed, cleaned the kitchen counters the best in could, did the dishes, took out the trash, wiped counters and the stove, did several loads of laundry, picked up in the bedroom.

As soon as he got home i went to my room and I guess thats when he did it. He logged onto my account on the computer and opened discord, and went through my messages.

That's literally the only reason he asked me for a divorce. Was because he had seen I've been thinking about it for a while.

And then for whatever reason he did it a second fucking time.

The irony? The first time he did it?? If hed just fucking come to me, I was gonna ask him for a divorce myself. But then he did it, and while it was a huge relief at the time, it would have taken every ounce of willpower not to slap him if I had known then that he was only asking because he went through my messages.

We managed to work things out to maintain some civility for Lucian's sake, and i was okay with that! I was glad we seemed to have cleared the air a little bit.

But then I thought about it more, he never actually apologized to me for anything. He never actually apologized for the messed up stuff he did or said, and he doesnt think he did anything wrong by going through my messages. In fact he thinks he was justified because "I needed to know how they really felt."

And then when I admitted some things I did or said was messed up, he didnt even actually own up to his bullshit. He had to lump me in with him

"Cant we bith admit that we both did and said fucked up shit?"

Like?? That's whaT I WAS JUST DOING. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THIS WHOLE TIME???

Then on my way to CO I find out??? He tried to say he does everything himself??? Inwas looking into the requirements to fly with my cat and dog because originally i was going to fly to Colorado. I dont remember which airline I checked, but I checked the requirements for the airline he was gonna send me on, and then he tells my step dad hes tired of doing everything himself.

WHAT???

I looked it up!! I thought I was gonna fly with a certain airline so that's who I fucking looked it up for!!! And hes trying to say he did all the footwork HIMSELF?! If I'd known he was considering another airline I WOULD HAVE LOOKED THAT UP TOO, BUT I DIDNT. Then He has the audacity to say hes tired of being the only one doing all the work??

Are you fucking kidding me????

No, nuh uh. Fuck him. I dont think I hate him surprisingly but FUCK IM LIVID.

I should by all rights hate his fucking guts, but dont, if I did the sight of him would send me into fits of rage as would the mention of his name.

But God damn I am PISSED OFF at him. So fucking pissed off. I mean for all I know hes hacked my account and is reading this right fucking now.

If you are Alex, FUCK YOU for everything you've put me through these last couple years.

fuck him. I don't feel bad for him in the least. I know I'm not fucking perfect, but I fucking tried. I gave him more chances than he fucking deserved. He held me to unfair standards, he expected me to clean house in 2 hours or less, expected me to cook every fucking night, constantly tried to tell me my mental health is harder for him than it is for me, tried to tell my family that he does all the fucking work (okay I cant make phone calls but I can do fucking research you fuck), made me out to be the bad guy constantly, doesn't own up to his bullshit, put me through all this and EXPECTED ME TO APOLOGIZE FOR GOING TO CALIFORNIA, went through my fucking discord, and countless other bullshit.

Yeah no I don't feel bad for him. Not at all, he had plenty of chances to work with me to avoid all this and he chose to ignore it. The only attempts seemed to be when I wasn't with him.

I have a lot of baggage and issues, but I fucking deserve better than that.

If hes in emotional turmoil because of what happened. He brought it on himself. I fuckin tried.

If me not feeling even a little sorry for him makes me a bad person

Then get me my fucking demon costume.

[cc-still-going-strong]

Second Chance - Klaine fanfiction

Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel

Summary:

Blaine and Kurt has been happily live in their marriage for 10 years. 5 years after married at 22, they decided to adopt a child, her name is Angela. She is the perfect addition for their family.

However, after Blaine successfully win the election and become a Congressman, he is buried in works, he can’t even go home with his loves, his head is full with politics things he has no more place for his family anymore. Stressful, angry Blaine pull it out on them, instead.

Until one day, Kurt tells him something he never ever has dream about, even in his worst nightmare.

Can he makes it? Would Kurt ever give him a second chance?

=====

Blaine Anderson was having a rough time.

For the last 5 months, he had spent most of his time in his office. The promise he made for his campaign is now biting his ass back. It isn’t that he lied about that, it’s just his opponent try to mess up all of it, and won’t stop bringing it up to make his image worse.

He barely stay at home more than 6 hours a day, include his sleeping time. He became an irritating person, who get mad at everything.

Whimsically, the one at the end of his fuss most of the time is the one he loves more than anything in his life – his Kurt. And we all know Kurt, he isn’t the one who keep silent when you throwing tantrum at him… Eventually, everything is a mess! They fought everytime he was at home, or gave each other cold shoulders around Angela. He knew it was him who started it, he knew what he did was wrong right after he left the house in a rage. But he couldn’t control it. He felt so weak everytime it happened, as if he losing himself and pushing Kurt away so hard it would end badly. However, he made the same mistake again and again…

===

Blaine sighed a really long breath before opening his apartment door at 5 AM.

Kurt made him promise to get back home before 11 last night. He clearly broke it, but he was so tired to even give a thought about it, he just went into to kitchen, tried to keep himself silent as possible.

Something in the trash can caught his eyes, a square box with pink ribbon, covered in spaghetti noodles, broccoli, beef and something looked like candles. He blinked a few times, he can hear something boiling in his head, but chose to give it a go instead.

He opened the fridge, took a beer bottle and knocked it all up, took some sandwich Kurt made him this morning but he forgot to take with to work. After finished it, he got in the bedroom and found Kurt was sleeping peacefully in their bed.

Didn’t want to bother his sleep, Blaine decided to take a bath and a change of clothes before going back to his office later. He will take a nap there instead.

===

40 minutes later, Blaine stepped out of the bathroom, to his surprise, Kurt wasn’t in bed.

Blaine guessed that he is in the kitchen, a bit earlier than normal and making him and Angela some breakfast. He thought that maybe the first one in the last month they have breakfast together.

The smell of fresh coffee lured him into the kitchen, he can’t help a little smile when he saw Kurt’s tall and thin body – is he a bit… too thin compare with his memory? – standing next to the counter.

“Morning” - Kurt called him when he caught him standing next to the door. His emotionless face rang the bell in Blaine’s head. If he had a good sleep last night, he may act really different than this…

“What’s with that attitude?” – The inner thought tried to bite his own tongue right away but it was late.

Kurt took a deep breath, fidgeted with the ring in his left hand. “I didn’t know do you want a breakfast or not, so I didn’t make you anything. What do you want?” – he asked quietly, averted his eyes.

“If you make it with that kind of face, then nothing, thank you very much.” – not even in Blaine’s wildest dream that one day he would talk like this with Kurt; but something in Kurt’s attitude made him feel unsafe, attacking… he had to fight back.

He saw Kurt hands squeezing tightly, his eyes shutting, he was biting his lips so hard Blaine can see it bleeding a little, which make his heart clenched.

Before he could say anything, Kurt looked back at him, this time their eyes.

“I want to divorce”.

Blaine’s eyes widened, his stomach flipped off, he wanted to throw up.

He knew his behaviors weren’t good for the last few months, but he told Kurt the reason, he was always so supportive and understanding, what change? Why even Kurt tried to screw his life?

“I know I messed up a lot recently, but it’s because of my works, you know they are giving me a hard time. You, over all the people in this world should understand that!” – he fought back, exhausted but in rage. He had had enough with all those stress they gave him.

Kurt sighed, he looked at his left hand for a minute or two, then he took the silver ring on it, off.

“I know, I also know that you felt more tired and angry when you were home with me…” – Kurt said sadly – “And I totally understand… But it’s so hard time after time, Blaine.”

“And I don’t know since when we loving each other had became hurtful like this… I want to be the one you can’t wait to get home with, not the one you want to avoid a fight everytime you went home. I want to smile and welcome you everyday, not trying to planning how to not strangle you when I met you…” – Kurt cried.

Blaine felt his soul was sucked out of his body, he could sense that Kurt is serious here. His phone suddenly rang up, cut off what he intend to say to calm Kurt down, the ringtone was set for his office, it’s mean it was emergency. He reluctantly accepted the call, his eyes still fixed on Kurt, until something from the phone pulled his out.

“What!? A demonstration? Why?” – he screamed at the phone.

After a minute or two, Blaine fuming taking his coat and ran out.

“Blaine, we haven’t done yet!” - Kurt stopped him.

He glared at Kurt, only seeing red, why can’t his husband just dropped this bullshit thing for a minute, and leave him alone? Oh right, he is.

“You know what, Kurt. We are. We are done! I'm not have any energy to pamper you now, Kurt. Do whatever you want. Send me your divorce form or anything you want”

With that, Blaine stormed out of the apartment. Kurt standing behind, astonished but surprisingly wasn’t hurt as he had imagined.

“Papa!”

Only when an angelic voice calls him, he realized his face is covered in tears, his eyes still lingering looked at the door Blaine was left from. Quickly swept off his tears, he turned around with a tight smile.

“Good morning, honey” – his smile became brighter when he looked at his baby girl, their girl – Angela. Just like her name, she looked like an angel, with a brown curl long hair, two brighten blue eyes, combined with a porcelain skin. She is the perfect combination of Kurt and Blaine, the day they saw her, they knew it immediately that she belonged to their family.

Their used to be perfect family…

Angela tilted her little head, watching Kurt warily, took in his red eyes. She dropped her head, sadly asked.

“Daddy was home?”

“Yeah, he was home when you slept, he has to go to work early today so he can’t have breakfast with you. He said sorry” – Kurt lied without batting his eyes.

“It’s okay, I’m used to it” – she yawned as she answered.

“Do you want to take a day off? You stayed up really late last night though I told you to stop waiting Daddy.” – Kurt asked her nervously.

“It’s okay, I love school!” she reassured Kurt.

Kurt hugged his daughter tightly before lifted her up and sit her down on her own chair. It usually sat at the head of the counter, so that Blaine and Kurt could sit by her sides. But recently it changed with Blaine's so that she and Kurt could have easier chat when they had meals together.

The breakfast slowly passed by. Kurt’s dish as usual, still half full when they left.

===

Blaine pushed his lunch box away before focused in the document in his hand again. It had been three days since that fight, Blaine hadn’t gone home yet. He stayed at his office, asked his secretary to buy him few clothes to change. He didn’t want to face Kurt.

For the last three days, everytime he tried to sleep, he would dream about the moment Kurt asked him to get divorce. He couldn’t stand the face Kurt made then. It is the first time he had ever saw Kurt’s hopeless eyes looked straight at him like that.

He regretted what he said, he regretted that he chose to run away from Kurt that day, he regretted everyday he spent in this office instead went back and apologized.

But he couldn’t move. He scared to go back and see his husband disappointed face again.

His head whipped up when he heard a few knocks on the glass door. Sebastian!

“What are you doing here?” – He asked, confusedly.

“Working” – Sebastian shrugged. He is working with Nick – who is considered Kurt and Blaine’s best friend, in the same law firm, so they sometime still chat with him a little in Nick’s party.

“I can’t see I have any business with you right now, actually”

“Divorce form, ring any bell?” – Sebastian replied with the iconic smirk of him.

Blaine’s face turned white. He did expect it will come because he could see how serious Kurt is, but he still hoping opposite.

“He hires you?”

“Yeah, he couldn’t ask Nick and I’m the only other lawyer he knows. He wants this to be private, for you.” – Sebastian said in such a neutral face, but eyed Blaine warily.

“Put it there” – Blaine pretend to be calm, he couldn’t show any sign of miserably before this man. He knew this man real target.

“I can wait until you sign it, you know” – he said meaningfully.

“Not a chance, Smythe. Back off!” – Blaine glared at him, no more pretending.

“Well, for the last few years, this time is my biggest chance, isn’t it Anderson? Thank you for that, actually!”

“Few years? You really think 10 is just a few years?” – Blaine snorted.

“I told you this at your wedding, and I gonna say it again” – Sebastian downed his torso a little, looked Blaine in the eyes. “Never forget to watch your back.”

They glared at each other, there is no smile between them as they usually showed before Kurt or Nick. They knew they both love the same guy. That has never changed.

=======

The meet with Sebastian boiled his nerve, he tried his best to finish everything on time. But it’s still 11 when he done with it.

Exhaustedly went back to his home, surprisedly to see the door still opened.

He sneaked in to see Kurt and Angela sitting in the floor, Kurt never allowed them to sit like that. He didn’t have time to call them, because Angela sweet voice raised up before him, and it struck him, hard.

“You and Daddy want to divorce?” – she asked, emotionlessly.

He heard Kurt sobbed before answered. “Yeah, I’m sorry baby”.

“But what is divorce?”

“It’s mean we won’t live in the same house again, it will be me or him move out of here.” – Kurt explained, as he hugged her and put her in his lap.

“But it won’t effect you, honey, I swear. You can live with both of us. Just… separated. You will stay with me most of school day, and with your Daddy on the weekend if he has day-offs. If he isn’t, I will take you to the park, just like normal”.

He scrubbed her hair before continued – “And you will have two houses, with two bedrooms, you can decorate it two different styles as you always want; you will have double of your toys.”

She dipped her head, thinking carefully. “So… I will live with you, and when Daddy done working he will play with me?” - Kurt nodded.

“Isn’t it just the same as always? He will just has more works and then not play with me as he used to” – She sadly said. And that clenched Blaine’s heart. Since when his impression in her had changed into such a horrible man.

“He won’t, dear. He loves you so much, when he done with… this problem, he will run to you right away.” – Kurt reassured his lovely kid.

“But if nothing change, then why do you have to divorce?” – She asked.

Kurt looked deep into her eyes, he felt his tear is building up.

“I’m sorry, honey. I’m a selfish father. That is… for me.” – he said as he squeezed her tightly.

Angela confused for a moment. Her eyebrows furrowed. But then, suddenly, she was beaming when she found out what it mean.

“I know! If you and Daddy aren’t live together, then you don’t have to stay up late to wait for him anymore! Just as your birthday three days ago!”

Blaine shocked… He forgot. He had no ideas that was Kurt’s birthday. And it’s broke his heart. It wasn’t just a birthday, it was a sign that Blaine had pushed his loves away. Before he could recover from the shock. He heard Angela continued.

“And you don’t have to throw away the food you cooked all afternoon. You always tell me not to left my food, but since Daddy didn’t come home and eat with you, you throw away your own food, too. It wasn’t good, Papa”

“Yes, dear. It wasn’t good. Papa will stop, sorry.” He really surprised that she knew about all of that. But he didn’t know, she comprehended more than that.

“And you won’t have to cry every night because of Daddy anymore” – She said with tear rolling down her cheeks.

“How do you know that?” – Kurt didn’t deny, he cried almost every night; cried or worked his ass off is the only ways he could help him sleep without Blaine recently.

“I heard you sobbing sometime, I don’t like it Papa, I don’t want to see you cry” – she throwed her arms around Kurt’s neck, hugged him closely.

“If divorce Daddy make you happy again, I don’t mind” – She said sadly. “I can tie my shoe now, I can color my own drawing, I will do my math homework alone, I will learn to sing along Disney movies by myself, I will stop waiting for him to come to my school plays and I won’t ask you constantly to bring him there. I won’t need to live with Daddy, I’m used to it already. I can take care of myself, Papa”

She said it slowly, didn’t realize Kurt’s was full with tears. And both of them didn’t know Blaine was crying his heart out outside the door.

“Do you hate him, angel?” – Kurt asked her after a few minutes. Blaine scared to hear her answer, but he knew he also wanted to know.

“No” – She answered determinedly. “I’ll always love Daddy, he is a wonderful dad, you always say that”

She paused a little, warily judging Kurt. “Do you, Papa? Do you hate him?”.

The silence was killing Blaine, he was more than terrified to hear his husband words.

“Never. I’d never hate him. I love him too much for that” – He smiled at her, and she grinned back, happily knew that Papa wasn’t hate Daddy, after all those crying nights or fights.

Blaine closed his eyes, absorbed what Kurt said. He was so lucky to have him in his life. And then he heard Kurt whispered something, barely caught it.

“That’s why it hurt so much”

After set Angela back to her bed, Kurt swept his tears away, slowly observed everything, to remember what did he do before Angela interrupted him because of her nightmare and then they did the talk.

He looked at the door. It still didn’t locked after he went out to throwing garbage and got back.

He stepped into the door, a silhouette caught his eyes. It’s Blaine.

“What are you doing out here? It’s cold, let go inside!” – Kurt silently screamed.

Blaine looked up at his beautiful husband, with a tearful face. Regret poured out of his eyes.

“Can I really go home, Kurt?” – He asked.

Kurt looked at him confused. “You heard that?” – Kurt realized through all the tears and sadness of his husband.

Blaine sat up on his knees. He hugged Kurt waist, his head buried in Kurt’s hip.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry Kurt!” – he apologized.

“It wasn’t all your fault, Blaine. It was mine, too” – Kurt spoke above as he rubbed Blaine’s hair. “I know you have a lot of things put on your shoulders now, Blaine. I know I should help you share it. But…”

Kurt sobbed. “It’s hard, Blaine. I felt like everytime we met, we prepared to start another World War. I was starting to hope you won’t go home; I scared everytime I received your call, worried that I would fight with you again, and I did!”

“I don’t want us to be like that forever. I don’t want everything we have together, all turn into hatred! Let’s divorce, Blaine” – Kurt said.

“No, Kurt. I’m still love you. Please don’t end us.” – Blaine begging. “I was so, so, so stupid! I will never ever hurt you again, Kurt. Please, give me a second chance. A chance that you love me again.”

“Blaine…stop…”

“I swear, I will never be late again, I won’t forget any anniversaries again, I will kick myself if I ever hurt you like this again.” – Blaine was miserable. But he knew, if he let Kurt go away, he will be more miserable than this.

He will lose the love of his life… his family… his home… his Kurt…

The thought of losing Kurt kicked in, Blaine tighten his arms, refused to let go.

“Blaine…”

========

Three months later

“Angela! Are you waiting for your Papa?” – A girl around 7 years old, asked.

“No, Bella, today is Friday, so I’m waiting for my Daddy” – Angela answered her best friend.

Her name was called from behind, she turned her head, beaming to see his Daddy standing next to the school gate with a bag of her favorite muffins and another small paper bag.

She waved good bye with Bella before running into her father’s arms.

Blaine picked her up with one arm. “How is my princess?”.

She giggled before kissing his cheeks. “Wonderful! Today I learn to make paper flowers! And I got an A for Maths”.

“My angel is so smart, just as your Papa!” – Blaine beaming.

“Can we go visit Papa before we go home? I want to show him my A!” – Angela begged.

Blaine pretended to be thinking hard, amused watching his baby girl slowly pouted.

He used his index fingers to lift her mouth, made she laughed.

“Of course, darling!” – He said as he fastened her seatbelt.

They drove to Kurt’s theater, he just got a supporting role for a musical. He had to rehearsal everyday, with extra times on weekend; so that Blaine took charge of picking Angela every Friday.

Blaine suppress his laugh when Angela ran up to the stage and sneaked behind his Papa, and with a really surprise jump, she was hanging on his shoulder, laughing happily.

“Angela?!” – Kurt squeaked. “You scared me, honey!”

“Sorry, babe. I saw you guys are taking a break so I told her it was fine” – Blaine stepped up, gave Kurt the paper bag. It is coffee and a cupcake.

“Thanks, babe” – Kurt smiled and sighed happily when he took the coffee out immediately.

Angela held his fathers’ hands, gleefully; silently smiling at them when they talked.

“When will you be home, Papa?” – She asked when they had to leave.

“Soon, honey, around 8? What would you want for dessert? I will buy one when I get home.” – he ran his hand around her back.

“Cronuts! Daddy love cronuts!”

Both Blaine and Kurt looked at her, smiling merrily. She always thought about her fathers first.

“Okay honey, cronuts and strawberry tact, how about it?” – Kurt offered.

Angela nodded enthusiastically while waving goodbye Kurt’s crew.

Blaine sighed mirthfully at Angela ran around the living room, sang along with Ariel on the TV.

He can’t believe he almost lost all of this.

No, they didn’t divorce. But Blaine did sign the divorce form. He signed it as well as a list full of their properties and gave it to Kurt. As an insurance that Kurt can end this anytime he wants. Blaine knew he broke a lot of promises between them, he broke Kurt’s unconditional trust in him. He had to regain it a little bit everyday.

Everyday, after work, he would check his “Marital status” on his computer. To made sure Kurt didn’t send it in. For the first few days, he did it with terrified, scaring to lose his heaven. But later, it became an wonderful feeling, when he saw the simple sentence “Married to Kurt Hummel – Anderson”.

Yes, he’s married to Kurt Hummel-Anderson!

“Papa!” – Angela’s voice brought him back.

Kurt smiling when he stepped inside with a bag of dessert.

“I’m home, honey; babe!” – He said when looked at his daughter and husband.

“Welcome home, babe!” – Blaine smiling, loved the feel of those words slip out of his mouth.

And he wouldn’t change it for the world.

[imagine-x-everything]

You walked through the house you and Sommy were trying to make a home. It was hard to make a home when he was never at home. He worked a lot but he loved his job and sometimes you got to work with him. You were technically ‘a friend of the NYPD’ but the Special Victims Unit consulted you on cases where they needed psychological assistance or input from a professional on behavior.

You and Sonny didn’t get to spend much time together, not as much as you would’ve liked anyway, but he made sure every moment was special. He brought flowers and Chinese takeout home at three in the morning and you would watch a movie. You danced on the balcony at your old apartment. Every few months, he’d request a few days off and you’d would spend the weekend in a cabin upstate,the two of you.

You picked the mug out of the sink that Sonny must have used when he left for work that morning and poured yourself some coffee, looking around at the boxes in towering columns around your house.

Your house. You smiled, suddenly losing you bitterness towards your surroundings. You pictured a toddler, a little girl with Sonny’s eyes and your hair, your nose, his smile, slapping her bare feet against the hardwood. Your little fantasy was over when Ace came running down the hall, pounding down the hall, his giant paws making a sound similar to a herd of elephants. His tail was wagging furiously and he was showing all of his teeth. Sonny always called it Ace’s smile and he’d learned to do it on command. Sonny brought Ace home a year before, he found him on a bust and the dog was going to be taken to the pound otherwise.

You spent most of that morning the same way you had the past four mornings, unpacking boxes and signing for new deliveries.

Around 3 that afternoon, Sonny’s mother stopped by to drop off a dish full of leftovers from the dinner she had made for the two of you the night before. You hoped it was your lucky day and Sonny would call, wanting you to bring him lunch.

“Y/N,” she started in as she followed you to the kitchen. “The two of you have been here for four days and you haven’t unpacked yet?”

“Uhm...no.” Your voice was squeaky and cheerful, as it always had to be with her. “We’ve both been working.”

“Working? You’re home all day.”

“I have a job Mrs. Carisi.” You turned around with a huge smile on your face, trying not to react so she’d get bored and go home.

“You don’t have a real job. You went to school 12 years and for what?”

“My doctorate, Mrs. Carisi.” You gritted your teeth. She sighed.

“Don’t you have any clothes of your own? Everytime I show up, You’ve got on some lounge pants and a t-shirt of his, they don’t fit you,Y/N! He’s a skinny boy. He wasn’t skinny like that when he lived with me, you know.”

“Yes, well-“ you were interrupted by your phone ringing. It was Sonny. You snatched it up and answered it quickly.

“It’s Sonny.” You mouthed to his mother. “Hi, honey.”

“Hey, I’m going to take a break soon, think you could bring me lunch?”

“Yea sure, I’ll bring you some lunch.” Yoh answered in the same overly cheerful voice.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, honey I’m fine. It’s so funny you asked to bring lunch because your mother just dropped in to give us the leftovers from last night, isn’t that so nice?” You were hoping he would understand.

“Oh, I see.” He chuckled. “I’ll see you in a few babe. I love you. Tell Ma I love her.”

“I will. I love you too.” You looked at the background on your phone, you and Sommy acting like goofballs in an art museum.

“Well?” Mrs. Carisi demanded.

“Oh! Um- he told me to tell you thank you and that he loves you.” She smiled. “He asked me to bring him some lunch so, I have to go. Thank you Mrs. Carisi.” You grabbed your keys and headed for the door but she scoffed. “Is everything alright?”

“Aren’t you going to walk me out?” Her eyebrows raised in a power play. She knew her hold over her son and so indirectly, you .

“Of course, how could I forget?” You turned back, linking your arm with hers as you walked her back to her car and closed her door for her. You threw up both middle fingers as she drove around the corner.

You walked to the precinct, taking in the sun and the cool breeze.

You never knew what you would walk into when you went to spend Sonny’s break with him. But you always went when he asked.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Sonny kissed your head when he greeted you.

“I brought leftovers, your mom dropped them off at the house.” You followed him to the break room, saying hello to Sonny’s coworkers as you passed through the bullpen. “How has your day been?”

“Oh, you know, the usual. Dirt, scum, shit. I made a bust, really pissed off some big guys, apparently.” He shrugged his jacket off and sat down across the table from you.

“Dominick...” his hand wrapped around yours, trying to ask you not to worry, but he knew you always would.

“How’s your day been?” He was chewing already, covering his mouth as he spoke.

“Dirt, scum, shit.” You smirked.

“I’m sorry baby, what happened?”

“Nothing, I feel like just as I’m making any kind of dent in the boxes, more just show up. And your mom, god.”

“What, Ace isn’t helping you unpack?” He grinned back at me.

“No, he definitely helped me make a bigger mess than what there already was.”

“Sounds about right.”

“Mom giving you a hard time again?”

“Again? It never stopped.” You laughed.

“I’ll talk to her about it. She’s only like that ‘cause I’m her only son. You know? She doesn’t want me-“

“I want my lawyer!!!” There was a loud yelling coming from the office, so Sonny jumped to his feet, you following after him. “I want my fucking law- YOU! Carisi!” The man screamed, beginning to kick and bump against the two cops bringing him to the interrogation rooms right past the break room. “Is that your little bitch Carisi?” The man spat at you on his way past the doorway.

“That’s enough!” One of the cops warned.

“I’ll make sure the same thing happens to her that happened to those other girls!” He kept yelling until he was locked in a room himself. You didn’t think anything of it, when they brought in suspects, obviously most of them were usually very upset, cussing, throwing insults, making threats, and saying disgusting things like that.

“You okay baby?” Sonny turned around, grabbing your face in his hands, checking you, even though you’d never been touched.

“I’m fine.” You answered statically. “That’s the guy you pissed off, I’m assuming.”

“You’d be correct.” He sighed.

“Please just be careful, baby.” Begging for his own sake. Sonny was the type of man to run into a burning building to save a kitten, which meant he got himself into all kinds of predicaments. Sonny’s eyes glossed over, looking at you apologetically. “Sometimes I wish you were a librarian or something.” You joked just to hear him laugh.

“I gotta get back to work, doll. I love you.” Sonny placed a kiss on your forehead. “Be safe on your way home, okay? Text me.” He threw his trash away and gave you one last look before he left the break room.

Your house was several blocks from the precinct but you didn’t mind the walk. It’s easy to feel like you’re being followed on the sidewalk in New York, but you had a feeling in your gut that told you that you truly were being followed. You weaved through larger crowds and took a couple wrong turns, trying to shake the feeling but you ended up hailing a cab. The ride home calmed you down, and Ace’s presence when you got home was enough to put the whole thing completely out of your mind. You texted Sonny, plopping down on your bed, which was just a mattress on the floor, Just got home, hope you have a nice rest of your day. Be safe out there baby. I love you.

It was around 8 when you woke up from the nap you were taking to 9 missed calls from Sonny, one from Olivia, and one from Fin. You opened a voicemail from Sonny.

“Hey. The guy you saw at the precinct today, his name is Emmanuel Cost, he uh- he made bail. It’s probably nothing, just make sure you lock the doors okay? I love you.”

And then the next, “Hey sweetheart, just call me when you get this honey, okay? I’m just worried about you is all.”

“Y/N, you need to get out of the house now. Take Ace and go to my moms, alright? Nothing happened, no news, just want you to be safe, babe, I love you so much. Please call me back when you get this.”

You jumped when you heard a crash downstairs. You tried calling Sonny back with no answer so you left him a short message, trying to be as quiet as possible, you covered your mouth and the speaker with your hand. “Sonny, I think someone is in the house, I just heard a crash downstairs, don’t call me back, just get here, please.”

And then you called the police, creeping downstairs with your baseball bat and Sonny’s gun tucked into the back of your pants, hoping you wouldn’t have to use it. As you got closer to the bottom you heard someone rustling through the boxes and when you got to the bottom you peaked around the corner to see a tall, broad figure in the darkness going through my things. He was in the living room, which was connected to the dining room so when he turned his back you ran as silently as possible across the hall into the kitchen. you placed your bat silently on the mat in front of the stove, pulling the gun from behind yourself and snuck through to the dining room.

You held the gun up, aiming directly for his head and cocked it, obviously drawing the mans attention. “I don’t know who you are or what you want but my boyfriend is a cop and him and his friends are on their way, so I suggest you get the fuck out of my house.”

“So you’re the bitch, that detectives little old lady.” He sneered. “You gonna shoot me, puta?”

“If I have to.” you were shaking, your whole body was, but you couldn’t let him think you wouldn’t pull the trigger. You heard sirens in the distance. There was no promise they were coming to your house, not in New York, but you prayed they were. “Sounds like I won’t though. You’re going to jail.”

He took steps toward you, moving like a tiger stalking prey. “I’m not going to jail.”

“Stop, right there.”

He didn’t. He kept coming towards you until you were standing face to face, your gun inches from his forehead now. “You know what I could do with you?” You could see a sick smile in the moonlight. He squeezed your face so hard your jaw popped.

“You’re not doing shit with me.” You scoffed. Before you could blink, he had slapped the gun out of your hand and punched you in the face. You fought until he wrestled you to the floor, on top of you holding your hands down with one of his. He got out a pocket knife, obnoxiously flipping it open and dragging the blade across your cheeks.

“Qué hermosa.” His disgusting breath rolling into my face so you spit in his. “Fuck! Little bitch!” He leaned back, to wipe the spit off his face and you fought as hard as you could to get free, grabbing the gun just as he grabbed your ankle and yanked you back. You slung your arm around and banged the pistol across his face. He fell on his side and when he looked up, he saw you standing over him, a gun pointed at his face.

“Y/N!” You heard Sonny scream as he burst in the door, gun held high.

Other officers were yelling, identifying themselves as NYPD, all of them surrounding the man on the floor. But you couldn’t put the gun down, you could only stand there, frozen, tears starting to roll down my face. Sonny took the gun from your hands. “It’s okay baby. Come here.” He wrapped his arms around you, kissing my head. “Are you hurt?”

You shook your head, sobbing into his bulletproof vest. “C’mon baby let’s get you to the hospital okay?” Sonny hooked his arm under yours, around my back after he wrapped his windbreaker around your shoulders. The sirens outside screamed at you as you stepped outside with Sonny.

“Dominick,”

“I know baby. It’s okay. Let’s go, let’s just go.” He rode with you in the ambulance and sat with you in the room while the doctor stitched your forehead and checked you over.

“You know, I’ve been thinking about today, you know?” He said when the doctor left to do your paperwork.

“Sonny, please, it’s okay, really.” Yoh smiled softly at him, trying to make him feel better.

“No, J, it’s not okay. I-” his face turned red and his eyes started to water as he sat back in the chair he had pulled beside your bed. “I’ve been thinking for a while now.”

“Sonny…” You croaked. You thought he was going to tell you it was over, tell you he loved you but you couldn’t be together, he didn’t want to see you getting hurt. “Dominick, don’t do this.” He’d pushed you away before over minor incidents with suspects calling your phone, leaving threatening letters at your old apartment. You knew something like this would happen, it was bound to with your jobs, and you knew he would blame himself for it and you prayed he wasn’t pushing you away for good.

“Please, just let me finish.” he gave your hand a squeeze. “I love you baby.”

“I love you.”

“You are the most important thing to me and I want you to be safe.” he started. “I will do everything in my power to protect you for the rest of my life, so that nothing like this ever happens again.”

“Sonny-”

“Baby, I want you to marry me.”

“Dom, I- What?”

“Marry me,Y/N. I know this isn’t the most romantic thing I could’ve done.” he chuckled. “And I-I don’t have a ring, I’ll get you one, anything you want. But marry me.” he huffed it all out breathlessly.

“Y/N, Barba is here to ask a few questions.” Olivia appeared in the doorway with Rafeal. “Sorry, is now not a good time?”

“This is the best time.” You cried. “Yes!” You looked back to Sonny, tears falling quickly over your cheeks. “Of course I will, Sonny.”

“What’s going on here?” Barba stuttered. Sonny’s face was red and glowing.

“I’m gonna marry her!” Sonny exclaimed, his own tears drenching his face now. He stood up, looking back at them before he leaned over your bed, hugging me tightly.

“My ribs, baby, my ribs.” You grunted.

“Oh right.” He sniffled, straightening out his shirt. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Liv and Rafael both looked confused and slightly uncomfortable by Sonny’s outburst, Barba more so than Olivia.

“Well, congratulations.” She clapped her hands together.

You gave your statement to the Barba and the police handling the investigation. When it was all over, Sonny took you to a hotel near the station for the night

[jelenasymphony]

The Sleepover (1/2)- Jelena One Shot

Special shoutout to @letheavensin​ @jaysel​ and @jayselunconditionallove​ for always encouraging me to write <3

All of this came to my head one night after all that “Jailey” drama, and of course as a Jelena shipper, it got me. Took a really long while for me to finish it (almost a year lol) but here it is, the longest one shot I ever wrote. Thanks for reading :) xox

Word Count: 1734. 

Justin’s POV:

It was wednesday morning, and usually it’s such a boring day for me, but not this time.

Selena was coming to my place to hang out since we were trying to be friends. I mean, yeah, Hailey and I were something and i’m trying to move on but I still want Selena on my life, I don’t want to lose her after having lots of history together.

Hailey was spending some time traveling with her family, she hasn’t see them in a while since she spends most of her time hanging out with me, but anyways I won’t be alone with Selena, Alfredo will be joining us because he also wants to catch up with her. It would be awkward if Hails were here with us and also if it’s only the two of us with Sel, things never ended up well that way.

I decided to wake up earlier than the usual just to clean up the whole house, even if I don’t have anything to explain to Selena, I don’t want her coming over to see Hails’ stuff all over the floor or to find her shoes up the stairs. Hailey and I were too lazy to clean up everytime she comes over, just picking up the floor the things that were on our way or washing glasses just to drink some wine. I know Selena likes being on a clean place and of course, I can remember her coming over years ago and turning our “Netflix and Chill” session into a special ocassion for her to show me how to properly clean my kitchen or how to remove stains from a carpet, and I wasn’t going to risk our dinner because of my messy living room this time.

I spend almost three hours picking everything up, washing the dishes, taking out the trash and stuff until I was so tired I wanted to take a nap, but I couldn’t until I took a shower and decided what to wear in the afternoon. I know it’s very extreme for just a dinner but I wanted to give a good impression to Selena, all dressed up and clean, almost as I wanted to prove so hard that I was happy with Hailey, which was true, but would it be too forced to look like she changed me for good? I feel good by Hails’ side, but she doesn’t has the credit for my evolution as a person.

I tried to shake these thoughts out of my mind, because yes, I am happy with Hailey but I haven’t changed, I still being that guy who is lovesick for Selena and she was the one that kept me clean and humble, thing that Hailey doesn’t do that much, and as hard as I try not to compare Hailey to Selena, her ghost is always there in the back of my mind when I get into a relationship with someone new and it seems like it will always be there. 

Lost again in my thoughts, I hear the door bell ringing so I run down the stairs, only a few steps away from the door when it suddenly opened.

-Did you missed me? -Alfredo’s silhouette shows up in front of me while I try to fight against the disappointment over him not being Selena, although I knew she wouldn’t come up till 5pm. Fredo stares at me while he puts back on the pocket of his jeans the keys to my house- why you look so dissapointed of seeing your best friend?.

-I just thought she came up earlier -the disappointment in my voice is clear, but I don’t really care since is Fredo who I’m talking to, he knows me so damn well when it’s comes to Selena, he was always there third-wheeling and being our therapist after every fight or rupture, and tonight wouldn’t be different.

-You look so stressed bro, just calm down, it’s just her -he put his backpack down on the kitchen countertop pulling out some beers, rolling his eyes to emphasize the ‘just her’. But I couldn’t calm the fuck down, it wasn’t just ‘her’ to me.- By the way, put some pants on, she just called me to tell me she is on her way and I don’t really think your outfit is the proper one to start a friendship.

I look down at my pants to find I was wearing just boxers; I was so stressed with the ghosts of my relationship with Selena I totally forgot to shower, so I go back upstairs to get dressed and ready. 

It all took me half an hour -the adventure of searching for the right clothes- but I finally went downstairs, and got frozen when I could hear her laugh coming from the kitchen.

Selena’s POV:

The laughter that comes from my throat after Fredo tells me which is now probably my favorite joke ever vanishes when I finally see Justin, whom, according to Alfredo, was being a nightmare when he arrived -he told me Justin spent a big time cleaning everything up despite having a maid and that he really seemed nervous at the thought of us trying to be friends, which, to be honest, gave me relief of not being the only one nervous as hell here. 

I hate myself for the butterflies I instantly feel fluttering in my stomach the moment I see him enter the kitchen, dressed with light-blue jeans, a big black t-shirt and his favourite pair of black Adidas, his long messy blonde hair creating the aspect of bangs falling down his face, a simple look that God-knows-why looks just so good on him. I was the most persistent when it came to both of us moving on, yet there I was wanting to jump into his arms, inhaling his strong and oh-so-familiar male cologne, and never let him go, even when he was already being happy with Hailey. 

I was happy for him being happy, and all I ever want is to see him smile, so I’m not really lying to myself when it is about his happiness, but I couldn’t express the same when it came to him in a relationship. All I could see was him replacing me with someone new, doing all the things we used to do together -dates, trips, inside jokes, even the way we used to take pictures of each other. I truly know I shouldn’t lurk in their social media, but I found myself several times staring at their pictures on Instagram with the excuse of checking if he was okay and if he looked happy next to her -and the answer always seemed to be yes.

Realizing I've probably been disconnected from real life for a while now, I feel my cheeks blushing at the sight of Justin staring at me, knowing that Fredo's eyes are on my back watching every move I make tonight. -Hi Justin -the words come from my mouth weaker than I expected, and I feel the need for the earth to swallow me and make me vanish from there as I clear my throat, pretending I don’t feel a thing for the 21 year old guy standing right in front of me. -Hi Sel -he approaches to where I’m sitting in the large breakfast bar and stares at the hand i graciously pull in front of him, trying to be funny and give him a handshake, which he accepts but surprises me throwing me into a big hug, and I try hard not to smile against his chest, even tho I’m feeling like a little girl whom just got the most amazing birthday gift ever.- We're going to be friends that hug each other, okay? -he says graciously as he laughs and I get lost, feeling my heart ache at the smile he gives me. Gosh, how I miss being the reason of that smile. I nod laughing as I try to get the blood on my cheeks go away, and I hear Alfredo’s voice claiming it was a good start, leaving in clear evidence that the both of us were nervous as fuck about seeing each other again, plus me pretending that I wasn’t still in love with those honey eyes that just brought me so many memories to my mind and a knot of desperate feelings to my chest.

We spend the next four hours in the living room talking about life, we talk about our little siblings, our future projects in the industry and our families -and I can't help but feel a familiar kind of happiness bubbling over in me when Justin tells me he keeps in touch with Pattie, something we used to argue about when we were together; I never liked to know that he was able to turn his back on the woman who gave everything for him, so knowing that our arguments had worked to make him realize that he should spend time with his mother makes me feel that, somehow, I am still part of his life. Alfredo's voice becomes less heard as the conversation progresses, letting Justin and I enjoy each others company and catching up with those situations which we, although we don't say it, needed each other to know. Even tho I know this moment was gonna come, Justin finally names a situation where Hailey is involved, and I can't help but feel my heart crush when he happily tells me about a trip he made with his new girlfriend and I realize, not even after seeing hundred of articles about them on the news, I'm nowhere close to ready to hear his anecdotes about how funny was that time they went on a date on the beach and ended up looking like breaded chicken for rolling each other in the sand too much, while the only thing I could think of was about how much I loved and held close to my heart our dates on the beach.

Realizing I can't pretend anymore, no matter how strong I want to seem, I take the chance when Fredo asks him something about his trip to apologize and go to the bathroom, leaving the both of them talking as much as they want about how much Justin loves replacing me, taking Hailey to the same dates he took me.

[linagettingfit-blog]

Home life rant

You can ignore this it’s not fitness related

I just need to get it off my chest.  I am SO sick of my husband’s lack of work ethic. Part of it is my fault, not wanting to be a dick I baby him a little, but god nothing I do works to get him off his ass short of riding his and helping him.  Like for instance I get up and ask him what he’s been doing all day. Our friend is coming to visit us from NY on Wednesday so we need to finish getting cleaned up and set up for him by then.  His response was “I picked up a little.” I literally can’t find where he “picked up” today because nothing changed in the whole apartment. Here’s what i’ve done in the past month to get our place clean: Dishes, everytime except for two times he loaded the dishwasher for me Laundry: Every time, with a MASSIVE backload to do because laundry is HIS chore and he never does it Cleaned the living room three times, him once (But he keeps lording over how he did it ONCE whenever i ask him to clean something) Cleaned both bathrooms

Did the litter box (Fair, they’re my cats, but in that case why am I struggling to get him to take his dog for a fucking walk? I just had to twice because he was “tired” boo fucking hoo I’m literally never NOT tired.  Cleaned the study which was PACKED full of boxes and garbage and crap from HIM. I made a mess when I did my makeup in there but aside from that, everything that has trashed that room since has been him, which he still hasn’t picked up again. Cleaned the worse half of the bedroom (It was my side of the bed BUT he had been throwing crap on my side for a few months so 90% of it was HIS mess but i still cleaned it). He only did the bedroom with me because I said I’d help him. Helping him turned into me doing most of the cleaning while he kept going to the study (Where his computer was....) and getting “distracted” or “putting something away” for 15 minutes. It was a fucking struggle to get him to finish it and to get him to vaccum a small spot he missed the next day. 

Meanwhile this is what we have left that is decidedly MY responsibility: The rest of the laundry (He agreed to pick it back up as a chore but i had to tell him I’d do all the loads until there were 1-2 left for him to be okay with this...) The rest of the dishes and cleaning the kitchen (which i’ll havfe to do twice because meal prep day is tomorrow) Finish cleaning up the living room (I’ve already cleaned up the junk now it’s just organizing) Clean the study. Again. What he has to do: Vacuum. I’ve tried fucking everything to get him to help me with even just maintaining the cleanliness from asking him to do all of an area, to then compromising to him just picking up the dishes and taking them to the kitchen for me, to it turning into me asking him to just collect the dishes so I can take them to the kitchen. Nothing fucking works. Babying him doesn’t work. Being a dick doesn’t work. Crying doesn’t work. He just doesn’t care and doesn’t want to help.  So fuck it. I guess I’ll do EVERYTHING and if h fucking DARES fuck up ANYTHING I’m going to explode. I love this guy. I do. I can overlook all of his other negative qualities but we are BOTH lazy, we both get sad, and we both get tired and sick easily. Why the fuck do I have to power through it but he doesn’t? I just feel like curling up on the couch and crying right now because its so overwhelming. It has been overwhelming and even when he sees me cry over it, it doesn’t motivate him to help. He did his tiny portion of the bedroom, so he feels his work is fucking done.  God even besides all of what i listed to do we still have to set up the couch for our friend (make sure a blanket is clean, the covering blanket is clean, and that we have a pillow for him), pick up weed for 4/20 so I don’t have to do it closer to the day (i don’t wanna wait over an hour for legal weed kthanks). The worst part is knowing he’s doing all of this while i’m paying LITERALLY EVER FUCKING BILL RIGHT NOW. I buy the groceries, I pay the bills, I pay rent, I payfor the games he wants, i pay xbox live, I pay for his cellphone, everything.  I had 150K from my trust fund and i’m down to 30k because of him just eating through the money.  God.  Part of me just wants to kill myself and leave him with what’s left and tell him “Good luck, asshole” but that’s just me feeling overwhelmed from all of the hurt I have from him just not giving a fuck about how I feel or how tired I feel. All of this on top of trying to fight shitty eating habits and get to the gym. Can anyone fucking BLAME me when I say I’m too tired to go to the gym? I literally wake up tired because the work in my apartment never ends. I’m legit about to throw out half of my own belongings when i clean just to make it less work.  Plus there’s a pile of garbage bags waiting to take out, one of his two chores, that i’ve been slowly taking out on my own because he can’t even take a garbage bag to the dumpster when he takes his dog out. I don’t know what to do besides leave to stay in a hotel until he gets the picture, or just giving up and resigning myself to being a maid for the rest of my life to a really ungrateful person who thinks showing he’s grateful for what I do for him means telling me i’m sexy and beautiful. Fuck you. On the offchance he ever checks out this tumblr and reads it: I love you dude but you’re literally killing me. Step it the fuck up instead of wallowing in self pity about being “worthless.” If you feel worthless or like you don’t do anything THEN FUCKING DO SOMETHING. It’s not that fucking hard. 

[a-strange-sim-fic]

It's All a Little Strange

Chapter One

"Your dad know you're here?"

"Hey Erwin, can I get another book? Dad trashed my last copy."

"Beck, you're not supposed to be here. If your dad finds out-"

"What? He'll ground me, again?" I rolled my eyes and slammed my money on the counter. The curio shop owner sighed and rummaged through his bins to look for my book.

A guest of wind passed by, kicking up some dust. When it cleared, I could see on of those crazy plants growing in the distance.

"I swear, if your dad finds out I sold you another copy-"

"Erwin, relax. I'll say I got it from a kid at school," I reassured him. He didn't seem convinced. "Seriously, Dad won't find this one. Promise."

I hopped on my bike to head home as Erwin shouted something about me saying that the last time. Blah, blah, blah. It was another dark, gloomy day, as always. If I tried hard enough, I could almost remember when the sky was blue. Almost.

Ever since I was little, our town was trapped under a mysterious dark cloud that barely let an ounce of sunlight through. I rode through the dusty desert, passing Jess Sigworth and a few other soldiers going into the Salty 8 Saloon.

She saluted me as I passed, glancing behind me towards Erwin and his little pop up curio shop.

Dammit.

She was sure to tell my father that I'd been down here again. She worked under my him, as one of his sergeants, but she's my mother's friend. Or at least, she was, until my mother disappeared.

I was nearly to the top of the hill, I could see the shiny gates to our community reflecting in the dull light. But, it wasn't Rusty the security guard at the gate. It was my dad.

"Beck, where have you been? You are grounded, you're not supposed to even leave the house. When I found out you weren't in your room-"

"You were in my room?" I shouted. "That is my private space, dad. You get the whole house, you promised-"

"To stay out? Yes I did," my father sighed, lifting my bike into the back of his pick up. "Don't worry, your thirteen locks on the basement door work just fine."

"Fifteen actually," I corrected.

"Beckleigh, you are the child and I am the parent, that is-"

"YOUR house, yes I know."

"You really need to stop interrupting me," he shouted. In his anger, he jerked the wheel and the truck bounced off the curb. He was furious with me, as always. Dad's been hot headed since even before my mother left. Always in a bad mood, always yelling at me about something.

We were finally home, and before he could place the truck in park, I was already jumping out and rushing to my room in the basement.

Dad had finished it off for me as a birthday gift when I turned 16. I guess it was his way of making it up to me that I had no mom, or he thought such a cool room would keep me home, instead of poking around town for clues about my mom.

"She's gone," he'd say. "Just leave it at that."

But it couldn't be so simple, could it? My mom loved me, I even thought she might have actually loved him too. She followed him here from Brindelton Bay when he was assigned a new military base, though she had nothing of her own. Well, except me.

She would spend her whole day at home with me, playing games and cooking. She taught me to walk, talk, everything. Meanwhile, Dad would spend all of his time at work. When he was actually home, he was shut up in his office or the gym he installed in the attic.

Even as a toddler I could tell my mom was lonely. It wasn't until my mom met Jess and Leslie that she ever perked up.

I went over to the far side of my room and put pressure on the loose floorboard at the foot of my bed. Everything was still accounted for.

My spore scanner sat nestled next to some of the bugs I purchased from Erwin the week before. Carefully wrapped in an old handkerchief, a photo of my mother sat on top of my secret treasures. I swapped the photo for my new book and gingerly unwrapped it.

A couple years after she left, Dad had taken down all of her photos in a rage after a long day at work, throwing them in the trash. I managed to save a few, hiding them in the bottom of my toy chest at the time.

Gently stroking the glass, I admired my mother's hair taking up more than half the photo. It was so wild and big, I never understood how she managed to fit it under her cowgirl hat. Her big blue eyes sparkled, and only her smile could outshine them. The yellow dress she wore complimented her dark skin, and she looked like the sun glowing in the early morning. I pressed a kiss to my index finger and tapped it over her face before covering the photo back up.

"Love you, Mama," I whispered, placing the floorboards back in place. I checked my watch, realizing there were only a few hours left before my curfew was invoked.

"I'm going outside, want to squeeze in a few laps," I told my father in the kitchen, as he stirred something in a pot on the stove.

"You are not to-"

"Leave the yard, yea, I know," I interrupted, waving my beach towel at him. "I'll just be in the pool. You can see me from the kitchen window."

He grunted his permission, never once looking at me. Rolling my eyes, I went out the back door and slung my towel over my old monkey bar. I eased myself into the pool and began my laps, counting each one as it was completed. Ten a day, that was the goal. I'd follow up with whatever high protein dinner Dad was making and do my sit ups downstairs before bed.

"Early to bed, early to rise," Dad would always say while leading me to my bed every night at 8pm sharp. He'd wake me the next morning for our daily jog and double check that my homework was finished while we ate breakfast.

I was expected to keep my mind and body at the highest point of health. Straight A student that could bench press a semi was Dad's ideal child. While I wouldn't be lifting semis anytime soon, I could still hold my own in my boxing class or whenever Dad insisted on sparring practice.

Working out was the only time he ever really spent with me. He was a military man, as was his father before him and his father before him. There was a long, long line of Cardenas men serving their country, and being the first girl in the family did not excuse me from that tradition.

"Beck, it's seven. Inside, now," my dad's voice shouted from the back door, snapping me out of my thoughts. I dried myself off, going back into the house. After changing my clothes, I was sat at the old mahogany dining table, my father on the complete opposite end.

"You know, I'm probably the only teenager ever to have a seven o'clock curfew," I muttered. His eyebrows raised high enough they'd have disappeared into his hairline, if he had one. "It's not fair."

"Excuse me?" He grumbled, his eyes shooting daggers. I nearly expected to feel the sensation of being stabbed. "You have a curfew to establish routine, discipline. You need to be responsible for yourself when you enlist, you can't expect others to pick up your slack."

"That's fair," I agreed. "I'm not saying I shouldn't have a curfew, just maybe one that allows me to actually spend time with my friends?"

"Oh, you mean your friends like Erwin?" Dad scoffed, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "That clown is nothing but trouble. He keeps poking his nose into business that doesnt concern him, and he's going to pay for it one day. You can't allow yourself to be involved with someone like that."

"Erwin is a nice guy, and he's smarter than people think," I countered.

"He's a paranoid conspiracy theorist, he's a total loon!"

"He's my friend!"

By now, we were both shouting, pounding our fists on the table as we stood up in defiance of each other. Dad's face was red, his eyes narrowed and I could see that he was working out if it was worth it to smack me across the mouth.

I rushed to my room, closing the basement door behind me before he could follow. I latched all fifteen locks behind me.

___

"Oh this is disgusting, Beck," I heard my grandmother call out. "Beck! Beckleigh, mija!"

"What is it, what's wrong?" I called, rushing to the bathroom after her. She opened the door and I could see the, the purple vines snaking their way out of the sink. "Oh, they're back."

"They're back?" She repeated, passing a hand over eyes. "This is a thing that just happens?"

"Yea," I shrugged, opening the sink cabinet to pull out the pruning shears we kept for these exact instances. "All the time, actually. It's really bad the further into town you get."

"So the whole town just has vines growing from their sinks?"

"Well, some people get it in their showers and toilets too. "

"That's appalling," she shuddered, eyeing the vines with disgust.

"That's Strangerville," I shrugged again. "Abuela, it's always been this way. It would be weird if I suddenly didn't have to clear out vines everytime I needed to pee."

"Tell me you're joking."

It wasn't often that my grandparents came to visit. They didnt like the desert, or the strange weather, or weird, glowing purple plants that sprouted up all over town. It was so different from their home in Willow Creek, and different is bad apparently.

Today was a special occasion though, Dad's birthday. My grandmother insisted on coming to us and preparing a meal for her only child. While he and my grandfather sat in the living room, staring at the sports center on our tiny television set, I followed my grandmother into the kitchen.

"Mija, will you take these and chop for me please?"

"Abuela, I'm not much of a cook," I tried to excuse myself and pushed the cutting board and vegetables back towards her.

"And what does that have to do with chopping? Any idiot can use a knife," she scoffed. "Just make sure you cut evenly or nothing will cook the same. And avoid hitting any of your fingers."

We worked quietly beside each other, occasionally hearing one of the Cardenas men shouting at the tv, as if the athletes could hear them. When I was done cutting the vegetables, my grandmother set me up at the sink to clean the dishes she'd already used up in dinner prep.

"Always clean as you go, mija," she stated matter of factly. "Then you can enjoy the rest of your evening without worry."

I smiled back at her, happy to have the extra company in the house for once. Dad didn't really like for me to have my friends over, even just to study. He occasionally made an exception for Christie Sigworth, if she came with her parents.

We weren't exactly friends, but we got along. Jess would bring her along for playdates when she came over to gossip with my mother and Leslie Holland about what was happening in town. After mom left, Leslie stopped coming around. The Sigworth's always stood by us though, especially in the beginning.

As if my thoughts had summoning powers, the doorbell rang and Dad called out to me to get it. I opened the door to find Jess, her husband Dylan, and Christie. Jess held out a freshly baked honey cake and made her way to the living room with Dylan.

"Hey," I said, gesturing for Christie to follow me. We left the cake in the kitchen and made our way to my old swing set.

"How are those college apps going?" Christie asked, digging her toe into the ground as she swayed in the swing. "I heard back from Foxberry, early admissions."

"That's great," I mumbled, so tired of college talk. We were less than a year from graduating, but it hardly mattered. It wasn't like I was going to get to leave anyway. Military first, school later. "Have fun in Britechester."

We sat in silence a few minutes, looking towards the crater under the big, dark cloud. The early spring air was already warm, as it was almost all year long. The faint glow of the plants scattered across the desert lit up the landscape as far as we could see.

"Have you asked your dad yet?" Christie suddenly questioned. "About Sulani? Everyone's going, and Wolfgang asked about you."

"Oh did he? And what did Wolfgang Munch want to know about me?"

"If you're coming," she cried out exasperated. "I think he likes you."

"He just likes that I'm his science partner. Easy A."

"Don't be so modest," she dismissed me with a wave of her hand. "You make him so soft, everyone can see it. You should give him a chance!"

"And give my dad a heart attack?" I laughed, thinking of how my dad would handle his daughter dating a Renegade. "Sergio's head would actually implode. And then he'd come back to life just to kill me."

"Since when do you care about your dad's rules?"

I rolled my eyes as she wiggled her eyebrows at me, giggling. Silently, I agreed with her, knowing that she was completely right about it all. Wolfgang was cool, but he was kind of an idiot. Acted sweet when we worked on our labs, but a total jerk to everyone else. It was clear that he had a thing for me, and as satisfying as it would be to stick it to Dad, I couldn't bring myself to use him like that.

"I haven't asked him about Sulani," I tried redirecting the conversation. "Ditching school to go to the beach doesn't seem like something he'd go for."

"We're not ditching! It's over the weekend, he cant be mad about that."

"Oh, so you think I should ask him to have a Saturday off when I could be studying or training? Anytime away from books is ditching school to him."

"You're dad is such a buzzkill."

"Tell me about it."

Inside, around the dinner table Dad talked to Jess and my grandfather about work, while my grandmother talked to Dylan about some new recipes he should try.

"I really want to try my hand at pork adobo," Dylan told her. "I'm planning to get a fresh pig when I take the girls to Sulani this weekend."

"Whose going to Sulani?" My father demanded, his eyes boring into my skull. "Why is this the first I'm hearing of this?"

"Because I wasn't planning on going," I explained. "Christie and some kids from school are going to the beach, I guess Mr. Sigworth is the chauffeur."

I shrugged and focused once again on my food, trying to avoid eye contact and hoping Dad would turn his attention back to work talk. But he didn't.

"You should go," he suggested softly. My fork clattered against my plate as I dropped it in shock. Pure glee took over Christie's expression, and I could tell it took all of her being to avoid squealing. "You made a good point the other night, you should be able to spend time with your friends. A day at the beach sounds fun."

I stared in disbelief, not sure what to make of his offer. A full day spent on pleasure, and not on securing my future? A day of real, actual sunlight away from StangerVille? I was hardly allowed in my own yard after seven, but suddenly I'm allowed to leave town without being under his supervision?

"Oh my gosh, Wolfgang is going to be so thrilled - ouch!" Christie rubbed her shin where I had kicked her from under the table. I glared at her, jaw clenched. How could she be so stupid?

"Wolfgang Munch? Why would that delinquent care if you're there?" Dad's demeanor changed immediately, and he sat stiff in his chair.

"He won't," I tried to assure. "We're lab partners, if anything he'll just want to make sure I finished my half of the project."

It seemed to settle him enough that he didnt take back his permission and the previous conversations resumed. Christie continued looking at me gleefully while I shook my head.

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