#i do believe he is a veeeery messy person

[hancfubuki]

Acting normally towards Kaveh, there was no reason for him to change his behavior. It is pretty obvious by now some things did change, yet at the same time gaining a title is not really a big difference from the previous domestic interactions they had. What did change was him in the morning kissing the top of the blonde’s head before leaving the house. ‘I’ll be back late today’. That’s all he said, starting his way to the Akademiya. He is not going to be far away from home, and in any case Mehrak will always be connected to his earpieces. Still he doesn’t ask for explanations or a detailed list of the activities Kaveh’s going to do through the day. Probably at the Tavern, or drinking with someone. Squints. That’s dangerous, actually. But he is far from over thinking, that’s Kaveh’s job after all.

Routine hasn’t changed that much since that particular day. Work, tavern, home. An usual pattern he accustomed himself to follow strictly during the week-- work days, actually. He couldn’t say his job was tedious, but lately all the applications were so badly written he was starting to get bored, rejecting each one of them after reading only one sentence. That was enough to tell if the person is a good applicant or not, call it experience, or call it laziness. Whichever it was, Alhaitham knows exactly how to handle this burst of horrible apps that appear at certain time of the year. Working late is not usual either. As soon as the clock marks the end of his shift, he completely forgets about anything that is related to work. Unless, something urgent comes to disrupt his perfect and meticulous regime. 

The urgent matter: Lord Kusanali asking for tea. 

Groans. He is not the social type. He is not one for divinities, and in fact, he sees her as just another person. Doesn’t care about her ‘archon’ status, and he is curious about her taking such liking to him after the incident. He sort of saved her, though? So he can understand why she likes him, but the company was not bad at all. It felt like spending the time with your favorite aunt, yes, the closest description he could get for her. She looked like a kid, but perfectly could be his grandma. Ah. Perhaps that’s the reason he is unable to refuse the invitation, another relationship that could cover for the empty space in his heart. 

As always, the gathering goes well. He talked a bit with Nahida, about the applicants, about Kaveh, about subjects that might be considered boring for others. However, all the time he is there, he is thinking about returning home. And the time finally comes, yet again, thankfully he is not far away from home. The sound of the keys clacking in his pocket, this time leaving a copy for Kaveh as he did not feel like taking them, just for today. The door opens, taking a look inside of the room, looking for the blonde’s figure with his eyes. Though, his gaze focuses on the living room. At first glance, everything seems normal, perfect even, casual. Two sets of instruments, two set of plates and two-- no. There are three glasses over the table. This cannot be fully considered suspicious, but they are used to leave two of each item scattered all over the house. It’s only two of them, so seeing an extra glass on the table only means someone was home. Or is. 

Alhaitham frowns lightly, staring carefully at the empty room and trying to see if there’s glances of other people. Taking a quick guess, perhaps the traveler and Paimon are around, but he would know for sure if that little noisy floaty being is around. His tongue clacks against the roof of his mouth. He is not going to dwell on it. Instead, he walks towards the sofa, cape being thrown at the other sofa, shoes messily left next to the furniture. His belt pouch, always full of things. The music device left at the side of his body, taking a book out of it as he comfortably lays down on the sofa. The belt is discarded somewhere on the floor, and then he simply takes off his shirt, tossing it aside. Messy as always. But oh, the comfort of being at home! He knows Kaveh will appear to scold him for leaving everything on the floor. Normal routine. Light perfectly set to a reading mood, eyes focused on the pages of the book he is reading. Today’s subject is philosophy, another book he will probably finish by the end of the week. Who cares, though? He is just waiting for Kaveh to appear and yell at him. Or kiss him as a greeting, whatever comes first. 

@inardescere​ 

[livelaughlovesubs]

Make me your god, I can give you everything~

Wuwa boys + hierophilia!! Plot: they worship dom!gn!reader as their god

Warning: hierophilia, blowjob (implied), hair pulling, clothes sniffing (implied), dacryphilia

Nini!rant: I hope I included all of them? Also I’ll not write for yuanwu cuz I have absolutely no clue what his character is like, and lingyang bc he looks and acts childish. Anyway, I’m not up to date with the game, so the character’s personalities might be a bit off :(

Aalto

- He’d be the puppy kind, a very smart himbo (?)

- a loyal follower of yours, believes you are a being above since you are so graceful and divine

- you could do no wrong, and he’d believe your every word, he’s bound to your voice

- obeys everything like a good servant, even though he’d be a bit cheeky just for the sake of it

- he likes doing stuff that involves personal stuff of yours, like doing the laundry, cleaning your chambers

- should you trust him with your stuff? Well he definitely won’t steal it but maybe sometime else?

- “want me to do this? Oh, lord…! Well, anything for my deity~”

- could be a little demanding at times, begging and asking for a reward if he did something well (or thinks he did)

- “god, please give me some of your blessings?”

- overall a fun good boy

Chalcharo

- he is loyal, like really loyal, and faithful

- so loyal that it gets annoying at times, always wanting the best for you

- would have a hunch of overprotectiveness too, thinking he did well taking care of the dirty work for you

- in other words instead of waiting for a command, doing things by his own initiative

- he likes staying by your side and protecting you, if there’s not much to do he’d stare at you, thinking he’s sneaky when he isn’t

- wouldn’t voice it but wants you to praise him and show him your full attention afterwards

- tell him he’s a good boy and your most trusted follower and he’d be seeing the gates of paradise

- if he didn’t actually help he wouldn’t know and still expect that, so it’s up to you whether to punish him or not

- if you allowed him to, he’d love to lay his head on your lap or straddle you (he’d never admit)

- “I worship you, my lord, the dearest, please let me be useful to you.”

Jiyan

- pretty similar to chalcharo? BUT more shy, he blushes so sweetly whenever you compliment him, or touch him

- he’d flinch all surprised and embarrassed too

- a veeeery good boy, sometimes does things by himself but mostly waits for your order

- since he’s so cute, he’s very fun to tease, leading to him being red faced all the time

- but he doesn’t mind, he liked the feeling to being loved by you, a divine presence, to shower in your attention (who doesn’t?)

- headcanon that he’d enjoy taking care of the flowers around the house/ church/ wherever this is taking place

- you think he looks very cute a tad messy and sweaty after tending to the garden

- you once stroked his hair while whispering something about wanting a drink, so he suddenly got up to get you one

- but bc you were still holding his hair you accidentally yanked on it

- it felt so good he moaned, “ah-ahhnnggg~” now he has dirty fantasies about it almost every night

Mortefi

- take jiyans embarrassment and multiply it by three, that’s how he feels when he’s showing his devotion to you

- not because he thinks the act itself is humiliating, but that he’s not doing enough

- nevertheless doesn’t want to trouble you, since that’d be beyond him, so he always brushes it off

- he’s content with reading the holy books and scrolls in your presence, and knowing you gift him with the occasional glances

- sometimes he gets so engulfed in reading you really just want to tease fuck him from behind

- if you did do it… he’s so honoured..! And so, so lucky! But he wouldn’t be able to look you in the eyes for a while

- wants to do so much more but again, wouldn’t tell, you’ll need to reach out to him

- it’s your judgement whether or not he deserved your care, he will try to gain it, but not expect it

- would deny wanting anything physical at first, but melt the moment you touch him, even if it’s through gloves

- “f-forgive me lord, for being greedy.”

Rover

- sweetest and most diligent follower ever

- way more bold and direct than the others, would seek you out when he wants your attention

- and that’s like, always, so expect him to be clingy

- mostly quiet, just gently appreciating you caressing him in any way

- he liked putting his head on your lap the most, second only to more intimate stuff

- a little like a lap dog? His duty is to entertain you, if they are all members of some church for example he’d be a rookie

- anyone would be jealous that a newcomer gets to spend so much time with you…! And he’s so smug about it too

- smiles a lot! Really warms you up! Makes you want to make him cry as well-

- seeing that soft and tender face of his twisted into a writhing one as he cries out, “m-more!! Don’t s-stop.. my lord” must be pretty great

Scar

- so bold it’s unreal, he’d barge into your room whenever which would be seen as disrespectful but he’d also get on his knees immediately and pray to you

- beg you for your affection, he’s soooo needy with his god

- also definitely tries to seduce you, and if he was doing that with anyone else he would have been kicked out

- you seemed to find it fun so that’s why he kept his position

- many think you are too lenient with him, and too benevolent considering how cheeky he is

- demanding attention, skipping chores to wag his tail around you, touching you all comfortably as if you allowed him so

- it’s like he’s trying to get laid by his deity

- the only one who’d be daring enough to be sarcastic with you, and bratty

- just fuck him stupid maybe then he’d learn how to behave

- “ah, hnNghh~ l-lord, so rough..! GentleEEeeeKKK!!”

Geshu lin

- actually the only one who’s somewhat on equal standing with you? Or rather, he acts normal with you in comparison to the others

- converses with you, plays traditional games, many would agree that he seems a bit like your right hand man

- but to you? You see him as just as desperate as the others

- there’s no way to hide those eyes full of worship and yearning, and admiration

- gets so jealous when you spend too much time with the others, he’s the worst one, and it shows in his actions

- cuz then he’d be more demanding, louder too

- wouldn’t expect you to touch him or anything, and thinks it’s too disrespectful to touch you without asking, so he’d be shameless enough to straight up ask

- even if it’s some lewd places, places that are otherwise forbidden to these loyal pups of yours

- he still has his needs after all, whenever he first sees you he’d get on his knees and give you his greetings

- “good morning my lord, may I use my mouth to express my love and adoration?”

[miiukkaa]

mokey's subway room

yippee, the artistic and sensitive kiddo of the family, mikey! ended up keeping the room veeeery much similar to the one he had in the sewers.

i split the space into two separate areas: a bedroom and an "art studio". these two spaces are separated by a simple cloth that mikey can pull to the side fully when he wants to. i imagine he'd pull the cloth to cover the other more roomy area of the subway car when he goes to sleep. it is after all very easy to mistake your own large paintings and random clothing for a scary figure in the night (at least that's my personal experience lol). so to avoid seeing scary, ominous shapes, mikey would limit his field of vision for sleepy times.

the art studio side has most of mikey's art supplies. there's a huge paint spill from when he was dragging all his stuff into the car during the move. i believe he would find the spill cool and artsy. for when mikey would want to spray paint, he could easily grab any and all supplies he needs and go outside the subway car (for ventilation's sake). so he would have another specified art corner somewhere in the subway tunnels - further away from the actual space in which everyone hangs out at.

mikey, instead of hanging up a lot of posters, prettied up the subway car's walls by doing his own graffiti. though he would have the same "mad dogs" flag that everyone else has, too.

mikey doesn't strike to me as the kinda person who stays in their own room a lot but instead prefers to hang out in the common areas where other family members are more likely to pop out, too. for this reason, i imagine he has a lot of his own belongings scattered about the entire lair! so, a really messy art kid who keeps forgetting where he put his things.

leo's room

raph's room

[bluehhj]

listen to me — chapter 16

LISTEN TO ME  — 0016

listen to me masterlist;

WORDS: 2.4K

The next day, Jisung woke up with a headache so strong that the world around him seemed about to explode. His stomach burned and wrapped at the same time. He was going to vomit soon; however, he didn't want this to happen, for he knew that he would lose the little strength he still had to assimilate the last events correctly. Definitely, Jisung hated feeling the effects of the hangover.

His first move was to get out of bed and look for the headache remedy that never came out of his reach. Keeping balance with the help of the walls and any object that would enable him to support his own body, the boy walked to the kitchen, filled a glass with water and swallowed the tablet. When the icy liquid hit his empty and sensitized stomach, the feeling of malaise only worsened. Jisung needed to eat something, but he wasn't hungry. Not when last night's flashes insisted on appearing in your mind like a badly made movie and spreading a fair amount of panic to the rest of his nervous system. After all, what the hell had he done?

Jisung looked down and saw that he was wearing only a pair of underwear. His hair was a little damp, as if he'd washed and slept on it without even bothering to brush. He couldn't remember how he had taken off his clothes, much less how he had thought of taking a shower before bed — he was sure he did, as he checked the bathroom stall and noticed that it was still slightly wet. Jisung wasn't sure of much, but a single clear and vivid scene compared to the others played in a loop before his eyes: Jinah was at his house. And that wasn't good.

Stumbling on his own feet, Han grabbed his phone and jumped back into bed. He looked up Woojin's number on the contact list and, more than quickly, called his friend. The last one must still be sleeping, since it was only eleven in the morning — when they went out at night, Woojin used to sleep all day, so, yes, it was still early. The call was terminated without any answer, but Jisung was persistent. He called once, twice, three times, until Woojin's momentarily hoarse timbre sounded on the other side, surrounded by a deep state of lethargy:

"What do you want, hell?"

"Why am I just in my underwear and why do I have the fucking memory of Jinah here at home?" Jisung asked in a single breath; then, heard a lazy laugh.

"Don't you remember?", Woojin replied with another question. "I think she's going to be a bit upset. It's hard to forget these things, especially when it comes to the first time."

"Don't play with me like that" Jisung wanted the older boy to believe that he really wasn't putting faith in that absurd explanation, but his face was paler than a sheet of paper. "Tell the truth."

Woojin would've made some more jokes, but he didn't want to have to deal with the fury of that new version of Jisung later, when he discovered the truth. It was a bit dangerous and Kim still had to finish his college.

"I don't know that right, man", he was sincere. "You drank like hell, suddenly said you were going to the bathroom, and when we realized, you were already crying on Jinah's shoulder over Chaerin."

Jisung buried his face in the pillow. That alone was enough to embarrass him for the next two months, and he hadn't even heard the worst yet.

"I took you home later. Jinah was with me, then went along, too. Are you ready to listen to the rest?"

"No."

"Right. In my head, I was just going to stuck you under the cold water, pull back and throw you in bed, but you said, with all the words, that I wasn't worthy to have the sight of your splendid body."

"Until then, I didn't say any bullshit."

"But Jinah was worthy, you know? You asked her to give you a shower without shame.", continued Woojin. "You left all happy when she accepted and you banged your head on the doorframe. That must be why it is hurting now."

Jisung widened his eyes at every word said by the older boy. In the end, it seemed to have two dishes below the eyebrows. If before the water was already cooling his stomach, now it had turned into a mini-iceberg.

"And then?" the fear of finding the answer was as big as curiosity.

"Ouch, I don't know. I just laid on your couch and went to sleep. When Jinah woke me up, she was all red, flushed, and her hair messy, then we left. I don't know if you even kissed in there, but it looked like, you know?"

"No, no, no..." Jisung began to despair. It was horrible to try to get in your memory the information you wanted so bad to get and find nothing but gaps. "I don't remember!"

"Ask her then", Woojin suggested as if that were the simplest and most uncomplicated route.

"I can't, that's... That's too embarrassing! Jinah's my friend!"

"So what? I kissed all my friends, including you."

"I didn't call you to talk about things that happened years ago!" Jisung snorted. "What if something really happened? I'll do what?"

"You'll enjoy it, of course." Woojin didn't think twice before answering. "When life sends you a woman like that, you don't question, you thank!"

"If you don't remember, I just got out of an engagement in the hardest way possible. I don't have the stability or the urge to get into another relationship any time soon, whether it's serious or not."

"Aish, Jisung..." although the other couldn't see, Woojin rolled his eyes. "I'm not saying it's easy to go through what you're going through now, but life doesn't stop, you have to move on!"

"I can't move on in that way," quieter, Jisung sighed. "I can't try something different with one person while my heart's still pounding for another, and I don't want to use anyone else's as a bandage, let alone Jinah."

Woojin was silent for a moment. He didn't agree, but he couldn't help but understand that, at one point, Jisung was right. "So, what do you intend to do?" he asked, with no more arguments.

"Apologize" the younger boy got up from the bed and walked toward the bathroom.

"Are you going to call her?"

"I don't even have her number." he frowned at this, but didn't blame himself for his lack of attention. Jisung already had too many problems and obligations on a daily basis, such as dealing with a broken heart; tolerate the absurd meddling of people of the university in his life; take a deep breath to keep from freaking out before his electronic store notice came to an end; to prepare his psychological for the bomb that accompanied the last two periods of his course ─ which was denominated like the notorious stage (that would begin in that same week) ─ and more an infinity of things. Jinah had arrived and settled in his life not long ago, she still didn't deserve such high priority. "I'll talk to her in person."

"See if you're not going to ask her to bathe you again, eh?"

"Fuck you, Woojin."

Having the call terminated, no thanks or goodbye, my friend made itself heard. It was enviable how much the basis of that relationship was sweet and provided with much affection, attention, education, and companionship. An example of friendship full of love!

                                                        ♡˖°

Jinah waited for a reaction from her friends as she finished her fateful account of last night's events, yet, she had to hold on to the anxiety and stare at the three faces, not at all surprised until Jade resolved to break the silence and drop one:

"I warned you."

"Didn't even shock an egg," Chan added.

"But you guys don't understand!" Jinah squirmed on the couch. There was little left to throw herself on the ground and start making drama about how unfair and meaningless her life was. "I can't even like a little of him, that should be out of the question!"

"A little?" Changbin arched an eyebrow. "I'd say you really like Jisung very, very, veeeery much."

"You don't have to exaggerate, either."

"Jinah, you've been freaking out since seven in the morning, didn't let anyone sleep," Jade stated. "That's because the guy just threatened to kiss you; so, no, it's not an exaggeration."

"I don't even want to see when this kiss really happens," Chan added again.

"That's the problem. That kiss won't really happen," Jinah claimed with all conviction. "Yesterday was a fatality. Jisung was very drunk and must've let himself go, but that doesn't change the fact that he not only likes, but loves Chaerin, and there's nothing I can do to change that," she sighed sadly. "And everything repeats itself again..."

"Oh, JinJin, it's not like that either." Changbin wrapped an arm around Jinah's neck, to comfort her. "He can learn to love other people over time."

"Or not," the girl retorted. "And I, honestly, don't want to wait to take the risk again."

Jinah was just tired of watching her heart always picking the wrong people. Tired of being just that medicine that others use to recover and, when they can, discard the empty card. With Jisung it wouldn't be any different.

"I just have to forget this while I still have time," she continued, shrugging her shoulders. "I've gotten over worse things, anyway."

Jade opened her lips, but her next sentence had to die in her mouth as the bell rang and Chan smelled burned from the kitchen; soon, the american got up to open the door and the aussie was trying to save the lunch.

Jisung swallowed as the girl's face changed dramatically when she saw that the visitor was none other than her newly declared enemy.

"Jinah's there?" he spoke directly, already afraid that the girl would invent some lie just to keep him from stepping in her house for a few minutes, but, Jade merely sent him a merely friendly look and gave him room to enter the apartment.

The symptoms of liking someone are usually very clear, such as Jinah's faint despair about her pajamas and her face from who hadn't slept in days. Appearing so untidy in front of Jisung wrapped her stomach, but she soon tried to scare the feeling, thinking that her goal from that moment was to destroy any unrelated feelings besides friendship when it came to Han. It'd even be good for the boy to see her deplorable appearance, so he'd eliminate any chance of a second kissing attempt between the two ─ if it wasn't already completely and utterly extinct.

Changbin greeted the newcomer briefly and followed his girlfriend into the kitchen. Being alone with Jinah, Jisung bit his cheek inside and did everything he could to keep the shame from taking action, but it was such a difficult task!

"You visiting me at this time?" Jinah pointed with her chin at the seat next to her and tried to act as she always did with the boy. She couldn't make it clear that she only wanted to open a hole in the ground and hide her head like an ostrich. "Or rather, you visiting me? What bug bit you?"

"I came to apologize," Jisung sat down "for happened yesterday. I wasn't very well."

"I noticed" Jinah forced a laugh. "But that's okay, it happens."

"Talking about it..." Han tucked his lower lip in his teeth, visibly uncomfortable with the conversation, but curiosity was always bigger. "What happened yesterday? At..." his cheeks flushed. Lovely! Jinah soon blamed herself for the unwelcome thought. "At bath time."

"Nothing. I barely touched you, I swear. You just complained a lot, but with that I'm kind of used to."

"It's just that Woojin said you looked nervous when you woke him up to leave."

Jinah found herself in front of three paths, where one of them was to pretend to have alzheimer, the other to lie, saying that nothing happened, and the last to tell the truth. Considering that she hated that people lied to her and believed that a good friendship was built on the basis of trust, she chose the third path.

"You tried to kiss me."

"Did I?" Jisung wanted to die, there was no other way of describing what he felt.

"Yeah, but you slept about two minutes later. You can calm down, nothing much has happened."

The boy opened and closed his mouth several times, but not even shaking his hands in an almost desperate gesture to try to recover the gift of speech, he managed to explain himself properly. Ouch, that had at least an explanation!

"Sorry," he finally said. "I didn't want to do it, I'm sorry."

"I already said it's okay." Jinah dismissed the other's concern with a snap of the tongue in the roof of her mouth. "That wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been drunk."

"Not at all" hearing the confirmation of what she intimately knew already was even worse, Jinah proved. "But I didn't want things to get strange between us."

"Things between us have always been strange, Jisung."

"But not in that sense."

"For the third time, I repeat: it's okay, you have nothing to worry about," Jinah reinforced, noting that the boy was almost as stubborn as she was. "Now forget about it. Do you want to eat something? I don't think there's lunch, but there's pizza."

"No, I have to go." Jisung stood up. He lied about not being hungry, but he feared he might die choking if he'd been in the sights of Jade's eyes for a long time. "Thank you. For yesterday and for the invitation."

"No need to thank." Jinah also lifted her body from the sofa and followed the boy to the door. "Friends are good for that" somehow, even if it was because of fatigue, she had to convince herself that they would never be something more than that.

And she really would've been convinced, but Jisung made a point of sending her a ravishing smile of weakened hearts; one he had never sent before, which triggered her return to square one.

Poor Choi Jinah.

[cristallodineverosa]

Sehun’s handwriting analysis

I am bored so I decided to do a little analysis~ I really like Sehun personality-wise, so I’ll start with him.

Let me start by saying that Sehun’s handwriting is really interesting, at least according to graphology.

Okay, let’s first have a global look at how the writing appears without going too in-depth.  Sehun’s writing strikes as rather messy, especially if compared to Baekhyun’s, which looks neater, and to Chanyeol’s, which is straighter.

His formniveau (= the “movement” of his writing, as in a combination of rythm, gesture and speed, we could define it as the “flow” of the whole writing) is high, because we can already see how the hangul looks personalyzed to some extent and even a little hard to read at times. I can see that from the various occurrences of linking, where he didin’t bother to lift the pen and just dragged it on the paper to continue writing quicker. According to Helmut Ploog, a hightened formniveau reveals that the writer’s intentions are determined by unconscious feelings and impulses.

Look, it might get a little boring in this section so feel free to skip it if you don’t feel like taking a free class about how the human brain works, lol. Sorry but I noticed this and I thought it could be interesting to share. I am a trainer of fine motor skills anyway... let me brag a little.

An important thing to notice is his posture and grasp while he writes (this is my field so I feel confident about what I’m about to say). He is right-handed, as you can see, but he keeps the paper slightly angled towards left, bringing his face pretty close. I examined other pictures of him during fansigns, and he usually keeps this posture, even rotating slightly his right shoulder towards the opposite side, as you can see in this video. This is usually an indicator of crossed laterality, bear with me while I explain what it means.

As you probably already know, for right-handed people the left side of the brain is slightly bigger and dominant than the right one. The left emisphere yields the main centres that control language and communication skills, and along with the frontal cortex it controls the motor skills of the right side of the body, while the right emisphere controls the left side. Usually though, one of the two sides (especially for what concern eyes, hands and feet) is preferred/is stronger and this determines if a person in right or left-handed (ambidexterity is extremely rare): this phenomenon is called lateralisation. Following this reasoning, if a person is right-handed, the left side of the brain is bigger and controls the right side of the body, including the right eye, which is sharper and comes first, ideally “directing” the movement of the hand like when you need to take something and so on (oculomotor control). 

Sometimes, though, this laterality is crossed because even if the person is right-handed the directing eye, the main responsible of the oculomotor control skills, is not the right one (as it should be) but the left. This is pretty common and not absolutely a problem per se, but some studies link it to some particular cases of dysgraphia, dyslexia and aboveall of dyspraxia, since it still is a motor skill defect that affects vision and motion. It might also lead to a slight motor uncoordination (which makes me wonder how hard our Sehunnie must have trained to become this skilled in dancing). In my opinion, Sehun’s dominant hand is right, probably his foot too even if I don’t remember well, but his dominant eye is not the right one but the left, hence he represents a case of crossed laterality. I think he struggled quite a lot in school as a kid... 

His grasp is definitely a problematic one, and it probably is one of the reasons why his handwriting looks a little crooked. Technically, Sehun’s grasp is called a static tripod grasp, and in the picture below you can see an example in detail. 

If you look closely, you can see that this grasp uses the first three fingers to hold the pen (thumb, index and middle, hence the term tripod), but the index is pressed hard onto the surface of the pen, ideally “blocking” all the distal phalanges’ movements (if you look at videos taken during fansigns, you can see that Sehun writes keeping his fingers still while he moves just his wrist and shoulder - hence the need of rotation, to ease the tension gathering during writing). This is a problematic grasp because it can lead to tendon inflammation (De Quervain Syndrome, Carpal tunnel Syndrome) or to nerves compression, which believe me, is painful. Anyway, Sehunnie probably lift weights at the gym and works out on a regular basis, which strenghtens the muscles of the wrist and can help prevent inflammation.

A little disclaimer to conclude this section: I am not stating that he’s sick or has some severe motor control impairment. Crossed-laterality is IN NO WAY an illness or a disability, but it can be tricky especially during early age, because you need to understand the way your body works and you need to be in touch with yourself. I thought it could be interesting to share because this shows how much hard-working he is... that’s it. Also, it’s no secret because it’s under everyone’s eyes to see, and people usually doesn’t notice because they’re not trained to detect these things, so this is not an invasion of privacy or whatever.

But let’s return to the writing analysis. I used some colors to help you understand. 

The caliber (color: blue) is on the bigger side, which generally means good self-esteem but also frequent need of receiving attention and even a certain tendency to pathos (lmao if this isn’t Sehun I don’t know what a Sehun is). The width thoo isn’t that big in comparison, the writing looks pretty narrow, which usually indicates good self-control, strong sense of privacy and also a little bit of inhibition. The middle zone isn’t well defined, so the boy feels generally good with himself even if he lacks a bit of that push towards what’s new and unknown (as we saw in Chanyeol... you could compare their writings to see the difference). The slant is veeeery slightly angled towards left, which is a sign of introvertion. 

Let’s now talk about space (color: yellow). The space between words is pretty big, which usually means a good capability to discipline and organize everything, but as a downside it could be a spy of a certain tendency to feel lonely and to be messy in creating good relatonships with the others which is pretty fitting if you analyze Sehun’s past relationships. Even the spacing between lines is rather big, so this basically confirms the good capability to be neat and organized in everyday’s life (I can remember when he complained about Suho being messy back when they were roommates, lol). 

As you probably immediately noticed, though, the lines follow a descending direction (color: green), forming a sharp angle. You could argue this was just for aesthetic purposes, since the members all wrote in the same sheet, but he could have chosen to keep the same angle but write following an ascending direction, couldn’t he? Well, handwritten lines following a descending angle usually are a sign of melancholy, even of pessimism. Putting this together with the other aspects we already analysed, we could say that Sehun is satisfied with himself in general, but has a disenchanted, disillusioned vision of life/future. This is pretty sad, if you consider how hardworking he is, and how he improved since his debut. He needs to be protected.

We already talked during Baekhyun’s analysis how the linkings (color: pink) are a sign of understanding and gentleness towards the others. This, along with the flowy form of his writing, indicates a particularly pliable, sensitive inner self. The frequent occurrences of angles and arches (instead of garlands we already talked about), are a sign of vague mistrust towards others as well as neediness: the boy demands attention and above all consideration, but he is reluctant to reveal his heart too easily.

Another important thing to notice, is that he chose not to use his official signature but to write his name in hangul.

To conclude, Sehun’s writing is particularly telling of his hard-working nature. He has a gentle side, but he’s definitely not a wuss. The boy worked his ass off to obtain his results, but even if he generally feels satisfied with his achievements, probably there’s a part of him that’s never fully sated and needs more, both in terms of self-esteem and in terms of how others perceive his efforts. He looks out for praises and can be extremely hurt by bad comments and bad experiences. He is sensitive, as we probably already know, and particularly prone to feel lonely and in a way different, detached from the others. He is a pessimist more than an optimist, and in my opinion he doesn’t only need reassuring to feed his ego, but above all to feel better in his own skin. Considering his slight motor impairment, also, I think his efforts need to be appreciated even more, because dancing and learning complicate choreographies can be very challenging for people with crossed laterality.

So: Protect. At all costs.

What do you think of this? :D

[jaeheestone]

SHARING (ONESHOT) - JUNGKOOKxFEM!CHARACTER

Genre: escort!jungkook; fluff; COMEDY, light mentions of smut

{I’m not an english native speaker and I haven’t checked it before posting. Forgive my mistakes. Enjoy!}

- I bet everyone understands how I felt every damn time I went to my house and all my damn family asked me about my non-existent boyfriend. I was a doctor so I had no time to spare with men. Literally, my previous experiences had been all negative so I didn't really feel like sharing another one with one more fuckboy. And that was the answer I gave my parents everytime. But they weren't content with it.

"You're a grown woman." "When are we going to see our grandsons." Just thinking about that made my stomach turn upside down. Me? Children? Husband? Responsibilities? No, thanks, I already had too many with my patients and stuff. Plus, I wasn't THAT old. I was just thirty years old. I looked younger, though. Who said a woman has to get married early and have children to be a proper woman? If you're going to think like that, just go back to the fucking Middle Ages. Anyway, it got to the point where visiting my parents became a torture to me just because of that stupid question so I decided to come up with a solution. I literally had no male friends that could help me. Well, I had a few, but I couldn't trust them. If I asked them to be my fake boyfriend they would spread the news all around the city and I didn't want that. After speaking to my best friend, we realized there was only one possible solution. I was a doctor so I had quite a lot of money. That wasn't a problem. And after thinking and thinking and whole packages of cigarettes being literally depleted, I finally looked at myself in the mirror and made the decision. His office was... cute. I mean, cute for an escort. My strange imagination had made me think there would be dildos and handcuffs everywhere but there wasn't any. I was waiting on the couch when he finally made his appearance. He looked exactly like my friend had described him. Handsome, tall, dark. He was classy, though. His movements were fine and his little smile when his eyes were finally on me made my blush a bit. —Song Jaehee?— he asked. —If you are Jeon Jungkook, than that's me— I smiled. He chuckled.—That's me. Nice to meet you. We shook hands and he sat down. He asked me to explain what my situation was. —I've got annoying parents. They live in the countryside. Everytime I go to visit them, they ask me about my husband. Clearly, since I'm here, I don't have an husband nor a boyfriend. So I wanted to ask you to come along with me to visit them and pretend to be my boyfriend— I said, quickly. I somewhat felt embarrassed due to his gaze. As expected, he laughed.—This is the first time I am met with something like this!— he composed himself.—But let me ask you something inappropriate. How come you don't have a boyfriend even though you are so pretty? I wasn't the type to just blush and look away when people complimented me. I was most likely to make annoying ironical comments. And I did it in front of him, too.—Well, you know, not everyone has got good tastes. He smiled.—I know, I know. If people had good tastes, I would be a billionaire. —Aren't you?— I asked. —I'm not poor— he shrugged.—But I'm not a chaebol. I nodded and a few seconds passed. I felt like he was... analysing me? —How long is the visit to your parents? —Four or five days— I smiled at his face.—I know, that's a lot. But I see them rarely. —It's going to be tiring— he sighed sarcastically.—But I've got a great sixth sense and I feel like this is going to be fun. —I am an entertaining individual, so why not— I shrugged.—How much will you cost me? One arm? One leg? Both? He laughed.—A bit of your long hair will be enough— he commented.—Anyway, it depends on what you're looking for. But since we'll be in front of your parents, I guess you don't want to get intimate with me. —Unluckily for you, I don't. Sorry. He smiled.—That's your loss, not mine— he said.—Let's say 3000 dollars. I nodded.—I thought you would ask more. That's... a fair price. —Really?— he eyed me.—What do you do in your life? —I'm a doctor. —Wow! Doctor Song! I guess I'll come to you next time I feel sick. Tell me you're a gynecologist. I smirked.—I'm a cardiologist, so I hope you won't have to come to me. He nodded.—That's right. ____________________________________________________ We were in the car heading to my parents' house. He offered to drive, claiming my father wouldn't be happy to see the man standing and the woman driving. I had explained a few things about my household, mainly about my parents being... conservative. We spent some days together to get to know each other. He was really nice, actually. Apart from being an escort, he worked in a publishing house. He was the vice-director. We had some playful "dates" at his house where I even offered to check his health. My 3000 dollars were well spent, I thought. Also, the fact that they were not enough for the time he was giving me kept bothering me. —Are you an only child?— I asked. —No, I have an older brother. He is a soldier— he smiled. —Wow! A soldier! Let me meet him, so that we could play Decendants of the Sun together. Is he fine-looking? —I'm honestly better— he chuckled.—Also, my brother is veeeery serious. I don't think you'd get along with him well. —Are you implying I'm not a serious person?— I asked, fakely offended. —I'm not implying anything— he answered.—I just stated the truth. I scoffed.—I'm a doctor. I've got a reputation. How dare you offend me like that. —You know I'm joking— he smiled and placed his hand on my thigh. I stiffened automatically. He didn't seem bothered by his gesture nor by my reaction. Well, he was used to it. I wasn't, though. But if I said I didn't like it, I would be lying. I liked Jungkook... as a friend. I appreciated his company. I liked the attention he gave me. More than that, I liked the fact that he was giving me more attention than he should. I was aware of that, perfectly. I also wondered why he did that, but I guess the only precise answer I could obtain had to come from his mouth. I would ask him after the stay at my parents'. We arrived and my mother and my father were already outside waiting for us. I immediately felt embarrassed and I looked at him. —Please, if they say something stupid, don't mind them— I pleaded. He looked at me concerned.—Why are you so worried? Relax, sweetie. I shivered at the pet name and I rushed out of the car as soon as he parked. I ran to hug my momma and my papa. Even if they were annoying, I still loved them, and it was a pleasure to see them again. —Jaehee, it's been so long!— Mom cried drastically. —It's literally been two weeks— I laughed. I couldn't even complete my sentence, because mom pushed me aside to reack Jungkook. I could tell from her posture she was already head over heels for him. —Mom! Don't harass him too much— I joked. She grabbed his hand.—You... you are an angel sent from above. I swear. How could such a nice guy get paired up with my daughter? I sighed.—You don't even know him. —Shut up!— she said.—What's your name, boy? He bowed.—My name is Jeon Jungkook— he looked at my father for a second.—Nice to meet you. My father reached for him to shake his hand and I somehow felt emotional. Jungkook wasn't my real boyfriend. But it felt as if he was. He looked sincere. He seemed genuinely nervous. But then I shook my head and I remembered he wasn't accustomed to works like this. For God's sake, Jaehee, don't fantasize. ____________________________________________________ The days passed quite quickly... to my great regret. I was honestly having a lot of fun. The days at my parents' had never felt so cool. Mom loved Jungkook. Dad loved Jungkook. Jungkook loved them both. Also, you know, to make it more real, the boy occasionally grabbed my hand, ruffled my hair, kissed my cheek. The most shocking thing was that mom put us together in one room. With one bed. Jungkook obviously seemed fine with it. I didn't. I had literally never shared the bed with a man. Everytime I hooked up with someone, they either left of I did. Jungkook was being my first in too many things. And all of it combined together, made me feel things for him that I shouldn't. But I was a cardiologist. So I knew better than anyone that you can't control your heart. It was the last night and we were chilling on the couch, watching a film. I had my head on Jungkook's legs. Mom and dad were soon sleepy so they dismissed themselves and went to bed. We were left alone in the living-room but none of us spoke until the film ended. Jungkook stretched his arms and yawned. —What a loss of time. —Why? It was cool— I said, getting up. He followed my movements. —Not even one porn scene— he complained. I goggled.—I can't believe you're already undergoing abstinence from sex. —Four days is so much for me, you know— he smiled. —Can I help?— I joked. —Don't provoke me that much. I'm still a man and you're still a woman. Plus, we're on a couch in a dark room— he commented. —Moreover, my parents are upstairs! If you touch me, I'll get my daddy to kill you. —If I touch you, you'll think your daddy is somebody else— he smirked. I made a face.—Gross. But effective. —Let's go to bed, woman. —Wait— I grabbed his arm.—I need to ask you something. I gulped. The time had come. He looked at me with sleepy eyes.—Sure. —I... I don't really know how to say this— FUCK YOU! I AM HONESTLY SO FRUSTRATED BECAUSE OF YOU. I WANT YOU TO GET IN MY PANTS BUT I ALSO DON'T WANT TO. BECAUSE I AM A MESSY BITCH AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WANT FROM LIFE. JUST DEAL WITH IT. This is all I wanted to tell him but I couldn't because otherwise he would think I was a crazy idiot. —Speak with your own words, I'm all ears— he crossed his arm. His veins were popping. Fuck my life. —I... wanted to ask you...— I sighed.—Just, why did you make me pay, like, half the price I owe you? You've spent more than two weeks with me. I don't know about your... world. But I think you should have had more. He smiled.—Let's say I don't have a fixated menu. I value many things when I make up prices for my clients. If I happen to like them, the price goes down a lot. Because it's like they're already paying me a bit by keeping me company. I blushed. Did he just say he liked me or something?—Be honest. What was the real price? —10000 dollars. —WHAT!?— I screamed. He tapped my mouth.—Shit, woman, do you want your parents to wake up?! —Do you like me that much? He looked at me.—Please. I looked away and I nodded.—Well, that's not a problem. I like you a lot, too. I slapped myself mentally the moment I said it. I quoted the whole slang dictionary in that five seconds. My face was burning and I could feel his stare on me. How would I wrap that up? Simple. By running. I got up and ran towards the room. Unfortunately, before I could lock it up he managed to enter because he was obviously faster and stronger than me. Fuck my life. Fuck my mouth. Why did I say that? —Did you just confess?— he asked me, trapping me against the door. What kind of question was that? Dang, this boy didn't know any manners.—I didn't. I like you a lot... as a friend! You really are the best company, Jungkook. I was always a bad liar. In fact, he laughed.—You're a liar. You like me. I looked away. —A LOT!— he underlined. —Oh my God! Can you please fuck off? I want to go to bed and forget this embarassing moment forever. Thankfully it's over tomorrow. I brushed past him and headed towards the bed, totally awkward. I heard him laughing and I decided to ignore him even though I wanted to smack him. I was about to throw myself on the bed when I felt him grabbing my arm. He pulled me into his arms and... kissed me. The asshole kissed me. I pushed him away.—This is called sexual harassment! —You're so overdramatic! I was just confessing back— he justified himself. I pointed my finger at him.—Hell, no! You're going to be a man with attributes and say it straight to my face! He scoffed.—You're childish. I was acting like every man would. —Say it!— I insisted. He sighed and pinched my cheek.—Baby! I like you sooooo much!— he exagerated. Then he went back to looking at me.—You're done? I observed him.—Did you really mean it? —Yes— he said, nonchalantly.—I've had this job for years, but it never happened to me to find a client this interesting. —How do you know you like me? Are you sure you don't just... want me? Sexually speaking? —I understood there was something more when I looked at you for about twenty minutes while you were sleeping— he smiled. —Creepy— I commented. He sighed.—You really know how to ruin the moment. —I'm just jealous because your confession was so cool while mine was an awkward mess— I scratched my head. —Are you really competing over this?— he said. —Can you please shut up and come over to kiss me?— I said bluntly. He goggled and whistled.—Wow. That was really cool. I rolled my eyes and attacked him instead. Soon his t-shirt was on the floor and so were my shorts. He grabbed my ass and I insinctively smacked him. —Ouch!— he caressed his cheek.—We're about to have sex and you smack me for touching your ass? Are you serious? —That was an automatic reaction! I'm sorry!— I smiled.—Oh, I forgot to say something. —Go on, you nuisance. —I'm not really into sharing, so I hope you are aware of the fact that you will have to leave your side-job— I commanded. He smiled.—That's obvious. I'm not into sharing either. Is someone at your workplace going after you? —If I say yes will you get jealous and go rough on me?— I asked. —Are you the type to go rough?— he commented.—I think you're pretty vanilla. —I'm actually a very kinky person. But this is for you to find out— I smirked. He grabbed my hips and brought me closer to him. He placed a peck on my lips and then he looked up dramatically. —I'm so glad you're a cardiologist— he said. —Why? —Because you'll have to... take care of my heart from now on!— he laughed. I smacked him again.

[libbybleu]

ELIZA AND DAMIEN FOR 89 I WANNA CRY I LOVE THESE KIDS SO GODDAMN MUCH WTF

Bzzt Bzzt…Bzzt Bzzt…Bzzt Bz-SMACK

As much as he desperately wanted to ignore the terrible buzzing sound coming from the nightstand in the middle of the night, Damien knew he couldn’t. With the wedding coming up at just the end of the week, it was his job to make sure no last minute emergencies happened. God he hoped this was an emergency.

Letting out a low groan, he pulled his hand back from where it had slammed upon the white iphone, keeping it in hand as his fingers fumbled to turn on the screen. Royal blue eyes squinted in the blinding light, and he nearly dropped the phone while struggling to turn the brightness down to a bearable setting. 3 new messages? All from Eliza? He immediately bolted upright in bed, fully awake now. He brought up the messaging app and scanned the words on screen for sign of wedding emergency only to find…

[2:34am] Sunshine: Damieeeeen are yuo awke?[2:40am] Sunshine: yess??? Nooooo??? Maybeee?????[2:44am] Sunshine: Im comngg to your hotell room!!

His eyebrows furrowed, reading it all over once again to make sure he was reading the barely comprehensible words and over abundant use of emojis correctly. Why was she texting him at almost 3 in the morning to come see him? Wait, wasn’t the bachelorette party tonight? Double wait, was she…? His fingers moved before he could even finish the though.

[2:49am] Damien: Eliza… are you drunk??

The only response he got was the sound of knocks against his hotel door about 15 minutes later. Hopping up, he quickly threw on a pair of pajama pants over his boxers and rustled a hand through his long brunette locks as he made his way to the door. His hand paused just before it could reach to doorknob, his breath shaking. C’mon man, it’s just Eliza. Just your best friend’s fiancee showing up at your hotel drunk at 3 in the morning. Just the girl you’re absolutely and utterly in love with. Just Eliza.

Right, on second thought he decided to put a shirt on as well.

When he finally opened the door after the almost 3rd set of knocks, he saw Eliza in all her 3 in the morning glory. Flushed cheeks, mused blonde hair into a lazy ponytail, one set of manicured fingers holding a pair of heels, and the other curled around the neck of a strawberry vodka bottle. He almost laughed, not even Aiden got to see her in such messy states.

“You’ve been having fun.” the corner of his lips pulled in amusement as he stepped aside to gesture her into the room.

Eliza hummed, a bounce in her step as she entered and plopped onto the bed in the center of the room. “The party was soooo much fun. Oh! My bachelorette party was tonight! Did you know that? You probably knew that. Either way! It was amazing~” She paused in her ramble, seeming to be looking for something before she realized that very something was in her hand. “You weren’t there so I stole some of the alcohol for you!” This time he really did laugh.

“Of course I wasn’t there, I’m a bachelor, not a bachelorette. I go to tomorrow’s party.” As best man it was sort of a requirement. Not that he was complaining. He knew Isadara was planning on bringing strippers from her work. Maybe they’d even pop out of a cake.

Eliza turned her head to look at him still standing at the doorway, the glow of the table lamp playing with her already golden features. “But you’re so pretty, could’ve fooled me.” Her eyes stayed pinned on him and his pulse quickened, but Damien knew in his heart of hearts that her words and gaze were nothing more than platonic. She was his best friend’s soon to be bride afterall, and he had seen the way Eliza looked at Aiden. It was like he was her prince in shining armor who had come and rescued her from a dragon. Like he held her entire world in the palms of his hands. Like he was her happily ever after. And she was probably right.

Clearing his throat, he finally moved to sit beside her. He managed to only tense for a second as she immediately moved to rest her head in his lap. Breathe, Damien. It’s still just Eliza. “I will happily take that drink though,” he said, popping the bottle from her grasp with ease. He didn’t even wince as the liquid went down his throat, having built up a strong resistance in all his days of partying. If anything, he relished the feeling, as it gave him something to focus on that wasn’t the beautiful, very off-limits woman laying on him in the dead of night. It was a futile effort though, as Eliza grabbed his hand and pulled it to her head, a silent request for him to thread his fingers through her hair as she so often did (especially recently with all the stress of the wedding). He complied, of course, as he was absolutely whipped when it came to her.

So, with one hand on the bottle and the other in her tresses, he kept his eyes to the ceiling and let his mind wander. As much as he tried to think of things like how his sister was doing at home or the plans for when the wedding was over, it all kept drifting back to the situation at hand. He couldn’t believe his life had become something akin to a Taylor Swift song, except for the fact that Taylor Swift was braver. Despite the absolute adoration and devotion he felt for Elizabeth, he also held the utmost respect and love for his best friend. And while stealing someone’s significant other from another had worked for Damien in the past, there was no way this was going to be one of those situations. The engaged parties made each other happy, and even if Damien knew for a fact that Eliza would run away with him if he said anything (which he knew she wouldn’t), he couldn’t do it anyway. Maybe it was fear of losing a friend, or the ‘bro-code’, or maybe he was just finally becoming a good person, no matter the reason, he just couldn’t do it. Not when the two made each other so happy.

The sky outside the hotel window grew a lighter tint. He’d been thinking, thinking, thinking for longer than it had felt, and he sighed. He finally looked down, but instead of finding a drunk Eliza who needed to be taken home, he found a sound asleep Eliza and a dribble of drool on his pajamas. He wondered if this was the soundest she’d slept since arriving in LA for the wedding. Was he allowed to give himself that much credit? Didn’t matter, and he didn’t want to indulge that line of thought either. Instead, he veeeery carefully moved to free himself and set her in a more comfortable position under the covers. With drool swiped and blankets up to her chin, Damien let out a satisfying stretch. There was no way he would be able to go back to sleep now. Checking the clock, it was heading to time where early breakfast would be served. Usually he never made it to that, always sleeping in for longer than he meant to and sporting a hangover, but apparently this time would be different. Changing his pajama pants to a pair of khakis and throwing on some sandals, Damien began tiptoeing his way to the door. Before leaving, he paused yet again, turning to look at the sleeping Goldielocks in his bed, his eyes warm but smile sad. There were so many things he wanted to say with the knowledge that she was out like a light and couldn’t hear, but nothing came outside of the circulating I love you, I love you, I love you that flitted through his brain. And then he left.

Later that day, Eliza awoke to the sight of slightly cold breakfast and coffee, as well as the smell of a bouquet of beautiful red roses on the tray with a little note attached that said:

CONGRATS ON YOUR FIRST HANGOVER, SUNSHINEps: you owe me new pajama bottoms

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #60

“everything i touch turns to stone, so wrap your arms around me and leave me on my own.”

how're you feeling today?   okay.  i guess.  still plenty of time for the day to be ruined.  i just woke up a few minutes ago.  thank god i managed to sleep kinda easily last night, despite what was going on.  guess i was just that tired. have you ever lost a close friend?   yeah, i have, but not to death. what’s your sister(s) names?   katie, misty, ashley, nicole, and tiffany if you want to count her. when was the last time you cried?   last night. what is your favorite song?   first let it be clear that i have LOTS.  but i'm actually going to make an effort to list some here.  again, this certainly isn't all, but some include "hurt" by johnny cash, "here to stay" by korn, "nebel" by rammstein, "perfectly flawed" by otep, "lost it all" by black veil brides, and just... yeah, LOTS more. how do you wear your makeup?   i will once in a blue moon wear foundation, but usually not.  i'll always put on eyeliner and mascara, usually lipstick, then sometimes eye shadow, depending on whether or not i feel like taking it off later or not. do you have a job?   no, but my mom and i are going to drive around animal shelters today to see about volunteering.  since i quit school, i don't know about you, but i can't tolerate myself to sit at home with zero responsibilities.  i have to do something. do you work out every week?   no.  funny how i used to do it everyday. what kind of bathing suit do you wear?   i don't know what it's technically called, it's just a normal bathing suit that covers the belly and such? do you think you are pretty?   i honestly think i would be if i wasn't my size. what’s the cutest thing someone’s ever done for you?   the cutest?  probably that time i was lying in bed and i couldn't sleep, so i was iming jason on facebook and jokingly demanded him to sing to me, because i mean, obviously he couldn't really.  he ended up posting the lyrics/sending me a video to "the mortician's daughter" by black veil brides.  i smiled so big listening to that song; i ended up listening to it all night.  if you ask me, i'll always tell you that was "our song," and it fits us now more than ever.  i usually can't listen to it, but it's so dear to my heart that i sometimes fight the triggering and just listen to it regardless and remember what we had.  i've also decided that regardless of whether or not we get back together, i'm getting "i love you more than i can ever scream" (or possibly another lyric) tattooed somewhere on me, probably in a quote bubble or something.  i don't give half a shit if i ever end up with someone else, i will always love him and that song, and i dare my potential significant other to complain.  but hey, regardless of your musical taste, you should really listen to it, it's beautiful. do you consider dogs inside or outside pets?   both.  i don't believe in leaving them outside all alone forever, and i don't believe in cooping them up inside where their energy gets to be too much. do you read books for pleasure?   not so much anymore, really.  i just kinda... stopped one day.  i really think it's because of my hospitalization; i read like crazy to pass the time every time i was in the hospital, and i guess i just associate it.  it's a shame though, i used to love reading... wood floors or carpet?   in general, i prefer wood floors.  i love it when they look all glossy and they're easier to clean, i think. a teacher says she’s noticed you’ve looked sad, do you confide in her?   i probably would.  when people actually show interest in my wellbeing, i usually open up decently. if someone gave you a kitten, would you keep it?   if mom let me, yeah.  i go on and off between wanting my own kitten, so. are easter baskets only for kids?   absolutely not! do you like to daydream about sex?   i'll admit i've done it before, but i wouldn't say i "like" it. which of your parents do you laugh more with?   my dad have you ever been to an open casket wake or funeral?   yes, for my former babysitter miss janet. after a date, do you call your friend to tell them how it went?   lmao i probably would, honestly. do you like romantic gestures or do they make you feel awkward?   FUCKING YES I LOVE ROMANTIC PEOPLE. have you/do you plan to go to college?   well, i just dropped out of college yesterday due to my deteriorating mental health, so... do you struggle to articulate your thoughts and feelings?   omg, YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!  especially irl, i am TERRIBLE.  like i am a highly figurative thinking and think of everything in kinda inexplainable ways, to where no words seem to fit.  i will struggle so much in a conversation to get out words exactly how i mean them, which is why i prefer to write, because i can think longer about what i'm saying. do you think all porn stars are whores?   i'm sorry to offend, but uh, yeah??  a whore is a prostitute, and a prostitute is someone who engages in sexual acts for monetary gain.  it's kinda... obvious...? would you date an 18 year old at the age you are now?   despite that only being two years younger, probs not.  i want someone older than me in hopes they'd be more mature.  sure, an 18-year-old could be perfectly mature, but i just believe the odds are better with someone slightly older. are you more likely to show affection through your words or your actions?   both really. be honest: are you clingy?   quite a bit. do you like to wear makeup?   i do.  it makes me feel prettier.  i just don't usually put it on. how old is the oldest person you’ve kissed?   he's 23. are you bipolar?   according to psychiatrists, yes.  but honestly, i don't really know for certain, considering i always feel an underlying depression?  like i'm aware one kind of bipolarity is more manic, the other more subtle, but i still don't know if i have it. have you ever seen the last person you kissed without their shirt on?   MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM BOI do you believe the last person you kissed still cares about you?   do i hope?  yeah.  do i believe he does?  no. do you like to cuddle?   if you're jason, yeah.  it's so funny.  i didn't even like hugs when we started dating, but he got me to wear i absolutely loved cuddling with him and i now love hugs. when you listen to a new song, do you usually play it over and over?   YUP.  if i really like it, anyway. do you prefer being called your actual name or a nick name?   brittany or just "britt" is fine. do you ever want to get married?   i do.  i'm christian, and marriage is perhaps the most beautiful thing in our faith.  i don't want children until i'm legally bound too, and i do want kids.  and i mean... i guess i'm still trying to be abstinent, so. are you wearing a necklace?   no.  i rarely wear necklaces. have your parents ever caught you drinking?   no.  i've never been drinking when i wasn't supposed to. ever been kissed under fireworks?   i have not. have you ever held hands with someone in a car?   jason usually let me hold his hand while he was driving, yeah. do you like the town you are living in?   *cackles maniacally* how did you get one of your scars?   from scratching my leg obsessively. would you ever get a tattoo/belly ring?   tattoos, fuck yeah, belly button piercing, only if i got much smaller.  i don't like how they look on people my size. have you ever hated a teacher?   no.  i've honestly never had a bad teacher because i actually knew how to behave. when is your birthday?   february 5th!!  coming up!! c: are you afraid of roller coasters?   YUP.  i'm terrified of throwing up. how often do you think about death, suicide or running away?   death/suicide, multiple times a week.  running away, never. have you ever had stitches? where?   in my chin, yes. do you enjoy chicken noodle soup?   nope. have you ever been on omegle?   no, because i'm honestly not fond of seeing random dicks. do/did you enjoy it when your school would have pep rallys?   NO.  i hated them so much that i always stayed in class with the teacher. have you ever been caught cheating on a test?   no, because i don't cheat on tests. do alligators scare you?   nah.  i mean if one was coming after me i'd obviously be fearful nor would i approach one, but in general, they don't scare me.  i rather think they're very cool.. are your parents proud of you?   i'm sure they're not.  i've done nothing to warrant pride. do you play just dance on the wii?   not anymore, but i would once in a while back when.  once, during my little sister's birthday, jason and i danced to a kiss song... and he beat me.  i'm still salty af. what are your initials?   bmd, or bmcd if you want my catholic name. did you ever want a pet rabbit?   not adamantly.  my sister had one once and she was veeeery messy. ashley didn't know the rabbit had died for a week. who was the last person that asked to hang out with you?   colleen if you knew that one of your friends was considering suicide, what would you say to them?   ... i'd be a bad person to talk to about suicide.  nevertheless, i'd speak to them pretty wishfully, to be honest.  ex. "everything eventually gets better," bullshit like that that doesn't happen for everyone. have you ever felt so depressed that you were struggling to carry on?   oh, you mean the daily struggle? have you ever worn colored mascara?   no... but that'd be cool depending on what i was wearing! before facebook became popular, did you use any other social networking site, like bebo or myspace?   myspace, yes.  i remember mine was entirely dedicated to meerkats lmao. has anyone ever asked you out and you turned them down?   yes. are you a secretive person?   online, not really.  real life, yeah. if you were going to buy a present for the person you love, what would you generally choose?   something oriented around "magic: the gathering."  or something with cthulu. ever gave a really long apology?   i have. have you ever felt like you literally needed someone?   i have.  call it crazy, but you ain't experienced heartbreak until you've felt it. where would you like to go on your honeymoon?   it'd be quite ideal if i could go to south africa for that so i could fulfill my dream of photographing the kmp meerkats, but i don't know how romantic that would be.  i'd want my future spouse's opinion here. would you ever cut all your hair off to raise money for charity?   all my hair?  no, honestly. do you eat the slice of lemons you get in drinks?   NONONONONO.  i will never forget that gmm episode where they talked about surprisingly filthy things and the lemons were one of them due to having relatively common contact with fecal bacteria from employees not washing their hands. do you like family get-togethers?   my family doesn't really have those because most of my family isn't in nc.  on the rare occasion some of the family's together, generally, no, i don't really enjoy them because half the family has shit to say about me. where does your (favorite) pet sleep at night?   in my old room.  i'd love for him to sleep with me, but he's old and has accidents. how many pillows do you actually use while sleeping (not just on your bed)?   three. do you prefer using regular or mechanical pencils?   mechanical. who in your family has the longest hair? how long is yours?   nicole or ashley, pretty sure nicole tho.  mine is mid-way between my shoulders and breasts. what do you hear now?   "fuck away the pain" by divide the day.  i really don't know why, but this song helps me feel better about shit sometimes...? what are all the areas of your body that you shave?   underarms, legs, trim a "certain area" when you go on webcam, who do you chat with the most? do you use any specific sites or programs?   i never use my webcam what books (if any) have you read more than once?   "because of winn-dixie" i read twice, and "meerkat manor: flower of the kalahari" i've probably read over 10 times lmao.  i skipped over clutton-brock's tangents in the later re-reads, though. what is your favorite card game?   "magic: the gathering" i assume.  i'm not big into card games. what is your most expensive piece of jewelry? if it was a gift, who got it for you?   that's a very good question.  i honestly couldn't tell you. what is your favorite video game to play by yourself?   i love replaying "silent hill 2" and experiencing it again, but the feeling will never be as raw as the first time.  i have to be in the "right" mood to play it though, or else it will REALLY depress me. you have to get a piercing, what do you get?   i want a vertical labret for my lip again. what are you wearing?   plaid pajama pants, cheshire cat tank top do you like the ocean?   i do, but it also scares me.  A LOT. would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?   honestly, i sleep better alone, but i'd prefer to be with someone. do you wear glasses?   always, unless i feel like taking a picture without them for whatever reason. do you wear contacts?   no, but i did years ago.  i was just bad with taking them in and out, so i got glasses instead. have you ever loved someone, but broke their heart?   i couldn't tell you.  he sure as fuck never acted like it.  despite being together for 3 1/2 years. have you had a bf/gf that you never kissed?   if you want to count my first two boyfriends, yeah, i never kissed either of 'em. would you be able to stand being in the same room as someone you hate?   no.  one of us would die that day. has anybody criticized the way your significant other looked?   it's happened before and i'm just like... why???  you're not the one dating him stfu. have you ever stayed up late talking to a bf/gf on the phone or online?   plenty of times. do you have any handshakes with anybody?   nah. what has been the stupidest reason someone has broken up with you?   i've only been broken up with once, and he might as well have said, "i'm sorry you're too sick for me after all this time so i'mma leave you to die peace bye" who do you care about more, your significant other or your best friend(s)?   i don't have a significant other, so i'm just going to say crush instead.  and honestly?  i care about him more, sorry. do you have any pictures of yourself with a bf/gf?   i still have every picture i've ever taken with jason.  hell, i still have our facebook album of pictures because i refuse to delete it. is there anyone you don’t like that always seems to be everywhere you are?   no. who in your life is your number one priority to make sure they’re happy?   i would say jason, but he's not really "in my life," so i don't... really know...?  i mean i guess colleen.  though i'm aware it should be me.  i just can't manage to care for myself like that. do you like making lists?   i'm neutral, honestly. do you play sports with your siblings?   nope. what color or design does your shower curtain have?   it's actually entirely blank. does it bother you when animals lick themselves?   no, they're just cleaning themselves.  my mom though, she cannot STAND the sound.  she'll yell at any of the dogs if they're doing it. could you ever give yourself a shot?   probs. do you wear a bra 24/7?   i only ever wear a bra if i'm going somewhere.  gotta let the ladies be free fam. have you ever worked as a cashier?   yes, and FUCK THAT a million ways over. do you know how to tap dance?   i know how to clog, and it's pretty much identical, just the shoes are different. what ethnicity is the last person you talked to?   white do you have any interests in psychology?   i find it extremely interesting, but i have no desire to learn more about it.  the brain is too dangerous. would you go out with someone right now if they asked?   only if you were jason. have you ever met anyone who claimed to be a witch?   i have indeed.  very close online friend. have you ever been to michigan?   when i was a baby, yes. would you ever tattoo a lover’s name onto your body?   never in a million years.  i'd get matching tattoo or a couple tat, but NEVER his name. do you know anyone with asthma?   my mother and grandma. are you going to force your kids to be in activity or let them choose?   i would never force my child to do something they didn't want to do. do you watch toddlers and tiaras?   omg no, fuck that show and its concept.  i do not, even mildly, agree with pitting your child against another to decide who's more "beautiful."  jesus christ, do you WANT your child to grow up insecure as shit?  i personally know a number of children who have been in pageants, and guess what, they're snobby, materialistic little... ugh.  even if my child asked, i wouldn't allow them to be in a pageant.  just no. what was the last band t-shirt you bought?   good question. if someone asked you to go to war today, what would you say?   hell no, son.  i'm 1.) not patriotic enough and 2.) i'm a pacifist and 3.) i just have no desire. are you passionate?   holy fuck yes.  i honestly think it's my favorite trait about me personally. do you own an old vintage typewriter?   we did at one point, no idea where it went... do you hate how dogs bark every time someone comes to your house?   oh my GOD you ought to hear how our dogs are when someone comes home. have you ever been to sea world?   i have as a child; i still remember being splashed all to hell by shamu or whatever the whale's name was there.  now as an adult, i don't know if i'd go again... due to obvious controversy.  i don't know how i feel about it, honestly.  like i do believe it's very important for us to learn about animals, but to put a huge whale on display for our entertainment?  i dunno, man. do you know someone who suffers from short term memory loss?   it's very well possible i do.  i forget shit WAY too easily. are you a protective person?   oh boy, can i be.  i'm the type that would kill for those who deserve my protection. have you ever experienced an earthquake?   no.  i was two-three hours away when a very, very minor earthquake struck the east coast, though.  mom felt it at home. does your house have a dishwasher?   we do. do you know anyone who has a flower tattoo?   probably, idk. could you say something good about the last person you kissed?   he's very realistic. what exactly did you drink the last time you were intoxicated?   mike's hard and smirnoff what languages can you count to ten or higher in?   english, german, spanish do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people?   depends on the person. do you believe that the world will actually end?   i'm certain it will eventually. are you socially awkward?   always. are you satisfied with your gender?   i am, but even if i wasn't, what would i do about it? are you good at admitting your problems?   probably too good. who is your family doctor?   dr. emanuel has anyone suspected you of being a different sexuality?   yep.  most recently when it seemed colleen's pastor thought we were a lesbian couple lmao do you ever floss?   i confess, no. are you an impatient person?   OH LORD YEAH are you a supporter of the war?   fuck no. has your cell phone ever rung in class?   no. speaking of which, what kind of phone do you have?   samsung galaxy do you sometimes think you aren’t as fortunate as others?   i'm perfectly aware i'm not as fortunate as most.  face it, not everyone is blessed equally. are you a paranoid person?   very. what would you say is your favorite type of flower?   tiger lilies would you consider yourself a clean person?   for the most part, yeah.  i don't like feeling dirty. do you have a hint of obsessive compulsive disorder?   not so much anymore.  i used to have repetitive thought cycles BADLY, but thank god i fought so hard to overcome that. how many trees surround your individual house?   loads.  we live in the woods. is halloween simply the greatest holiday ever?   if you can actually get into the spirit, absolutely.  haven't felt it for a long time, though... is pantera one of your favorite bands?   definitely not a fave, but i like some songs by them.  especially "walk." what color car would you definitely not want to own?   white.  gets dirty too easily. are you picky when it comes to music?   very much so. what's something you disagree with about the way you were raised?   my mom spanked us. has the opposite sex ever written you a poem?   yes, but i'm very suspicious it wasn't just for me.  juan was well-known to be a player.  he probably gave it to other girls. have you ever been a featured member on any website?   i have. who’s the last person you had a sleepover with?   chelsea

[sommer-rain]

I’m not sure if our young cat was so high on all the cuddles he got by me today home at dad that he began to drool or if it simply were from that little wound on his lip, but i don’t think it was the second the second. Man that cat is way too happy sometimes, it shouldn’t began drool! That usually isn’t a good sign, but i know that some cats when they get really cuddled up they can bet into a drool state but not in that case excessive, but he didn’t do it that much. I gave him a few veeeery good cuddles today and he looked like he had reached the epitome and didn’t want me to stop. Man, it was odd today when i went down to the backyard where i saw Marja and him stand and look out over the lake and he went to the flatrock and seemed nonchalant and as fast as Marja had turned around and began going back up to the frontyard, he looked in the way that he had just waited for her to go. I can’t unsee it. As fast as it looked like he had assured himself that she didn’t turn around and noticing him he immediately ran up to me being around two meters away and wanted instantly to cuddle with me! X)

Oh dear. It’s like he thought “okay, good! The coast is clear. NOW cuddle-time with HER instead! Sorry, big o’l human i don’t wanna hurt your feelings choosing this person today over you, i still adore you! She gives the best cuddles!”  -Believe me, that cat could and would guard Marja with it’s life and he really looked like he didn’t wanted to make her be jealous to see him getting great cuddles from me. -Also, i think dad should give him bit mure cuddles since he apsolutely loves to sitt and lay on any chair he knows my dad’s favorite places are. That’s passivily how he shows his love for my dad.

Before Marja went up from the backyard when i came there she said to Ville that he could go and pee on the summerplace-neighbours potato-garden instead of hers because we don’t really like those neighbors because they aren’t really nice to us tho there’s nothing we have done to make them dislike us, they just doesn’t seem like the fact that we happens to be or live where we live beside their summer-house property, and we doesn’t any stupid dog that could run on anyones properties, only cats. And we aren’t even noisy, loud, messy people. And we are nice to our neighbours, unlike them to us. I don’t know if it’s for the stupidest and childiest reason that they kind of wouldn’t quite like us for the sole detail that we are finlandswedishes and they have finnish as their mothertouge, or not. I mean it’s just TYPICAL that finnish speaking people have a general dislike AND hate against finlandswedish speaking people for apsolutely NO personal and true reason other than that they base that hate on something so fucking outdated, twisted and forgotten big part of our history since the fucking WAR, for like hundred years ago that they WANT TO BELIEVE WRONG, about why and how the reasons we speak finlandswedish as our rightful and national second official language within this country actually is. They don’t even understand their own country’s history, because they DON’T WANT TO! I know i got started now on that shit but it’s personal to me because i’m an finlanswedish and i don’t have any ties to sweden what-so-ever, and i’m as finnish nationally and culturally much as the ones who have finnish as first language! Still There’s people giving us finlandswedish people the stinkeye for nothing.. telling us things like “go home to SWEDEN YOU DON’T BELONG HERE” and overall think of us as a disgrace, like a permanent stain they wish never happened. It’s just A FUCKING LANGUAGE! Just a language.. I’m sorry but it can’t be more low than that to not even want to greet your neighbours for such a reason. We’re not even chatty neighbours. We don’t crave their attention but if you at least want to be kind enough sometime to just greet, why can’t they fucking even man-up to respond the greeting? If we so even try to say “Good Day, neighbour!” and that’s it. We can’t even get them to say back “good day” back. The other summer-place neighbours on the opposite side of our property are happy, very nice, helpful, greets us, likes us and likes to chat with us! And i like Mr. Glader so much! He makes me so much feel like he’s an old very dear grandpa who likes you back and always happy to see me! I wanted to just hug him ther first time we met like we had known each other before and long time-no-seen! And i NEVER go and hug people! He’s such a good guy! Wish i would see him more! He would like too. :)