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#i do enjoy the rest more than i thought
heretherebedork · 2 months
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Poor Lee Do Han was looking forward to quietly moving back to New York and letting this fake marriage be super fake and pretend and now his grandfather approved and suddenly he's still expected to move back and into the closet and to hide himself again and that is not what he expected at all. Poor man. He just wanted to go back to the freedom he'd found and instead he's just burying himself deeper in a closet he spent five years escaping.
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infinibeep · 2 months
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it has been a while.. take these..
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alicentes · 5 months
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I didn’t sit here for years tryna stay calm and silent while listening to your bad takes on gale (who grew up oppressed, in poverty and then witnessed his entire district getting wiped out then rightly went to fight in the rebellion because it was his inlg chance of tearing down the system the wanted him and his family dead) being a “terrorist war criminal who is single handedly responsible for killing innocent people including prim and who is the REAL villain of the hunger games” just for y’all to turn and start stanning and defending actual facist dictator and child trafficker Coriolanus Snow because you saw a young hot version of him.
#i actually do enjoy coryo as a villain and liked his origin story but people are really making excuses for him? and they know what he became#gale hawthorne#the hunger games#anti coriolanus snow#tbosas#like even in tbosas he shows that he is a sociopathic narissist. he tries to be good but those traits are still there and he embraced them#as for gale he was oppressed his entire life and lived in the poorest part of panem and resents the rich who were complicit in his suffering#the things he does for the resistance were things he thought was neccessary to win to end oppression#the other option was losing the rebellion and getting tortured killed and allowing snow to cause a lot more suffering#do i agree w everything he does? no because he is a character with flaws but i dont blame him one bit for decisions after the genocide of 12#he has to live with the consequences of what happened during the war and what he had to do to survive#but he is not a bad person for fighting back and willing to kill to survive he also does not understand the toll it takes to have to kill#him and snow are the same age and they both choose survival but snow is choosing power for himself and restoring his families wealth#and gale is choosing to join the rebellion and willing to fight for the sake of the rest of his people and to put an end to the suffering#one creates an oppressive society and one is tearing down that society both do whatever it takes#wow i guess i have more thoughts on gales character than i originally thought and the comparisons with snow are interesting
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obeymeow · 1 year
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nightbringer lesson 14 FUCKED ME UP in several ways but primarily I've spent the last 48 hours making myself sad over the solomon backstory we got. specifically I have, for no reason, latched onto that one chapter in the Kids event where baby solomon cried because he felt so guilty over being responsible for that spell. and that just feels a touch more depressing in context
#nightbringer spoilers#obey me on side#went back and unlocked the event again because i could not get this out of my brain i know it's probably not that deep#but it is that deep TO ME. okay#baby solomon has been on my brain since thirteen told that story so that's probably why it's sticking in my brain so hard but whatever#in case anyone was wondering the other things to make me sad are:#he has such a deeply excessive amount of lights in his room in purgatory hall there are SEVERAL chandeliers and lamps#there's a good handful in his room in cocytus hall too (his horror dg showed it) if a more normal amount#but that with the 'dim and gloomy' detail. ☹️#i've also always thought that solomon's loneliness wasn't all about the immortal angst but like.#having it confirmed that he's had reason to be lonely since he was a child- before he was old enough to know he was using magic-#totally crushed me girl why can't I be wrong#had emotions about lesson 14 in general but solomon backstory steals the show every time for me so i haven't gotten around to the rest#i'm enjoying the nightbringer story so much (not talking about the game design. that's a different thing entirely) but man#the pacing is WILD it feels like every lesson could be a whole lesson block at the least. it's giving me a lot of room to speculate#which I always love! but i do wish they would slow down a little and expand on some of these concepts they're bringing up#because the basic idea of the game alone is REALLY INTRIGUING and it'd be a shame if they raced back to the present imo#what was i even talking about. sorry my brain fast forwards as soon as i get into the tags there is not one sequitur to be seen#so curious about solomon's friend now too. like my guess is it's going to be lilith (and hopefully not in a popular fan theory kind of way)#because it's more than a little suspicious that they expanded on lilith's views on humans the way they did#in a way that SO PERFECTLY lines up with the expansion on solomon's views on humans#WHICH I HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT YET BY THE WAY BUT LIKE. HE IS SO RIGHT AND REAL FOR THAT#it's beyond stressful to me that I think solomon is completely justified in his views and being completely reasonable about it#but that it would also mean war between the worlds presumably while the brothers are still recovering from THEIRS#you cannot give me that choice man. not even sure that the human world would be ABLE to win that fight if we're being real#solomon's 72 pacts are a lot yes but he's still only one guy who is NOT on good terms with the sorcerer's society#and mc is powerful but so so inexperienced. and that's IF they choose to side with the human world which#really i don't think the canon mc is likely to do. but anyway i guess solomon's friend could also be adam maybe?#that could be wishful thinking because i like adam though. even if his hair SUUUCKS#deeply offended by everyone thinking solomon got the fucked up hair when all signs point to adam be NICE TO HIM he's ugly already
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electoons · 2 months
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breaking my artistic dry spell by drawing my 6'5" orc and her 5'5" bosmer husband as every single tall goddess/short king meme that exists. unfortunately I can only think of 2
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scattered-winter · 5 months
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working retail is making me remember how much i hate stupid customers btw
#so i work in a tiny nonprofit thrift store. right.#its one room w concrete floors and very compact shelving because there is just No Room for anything.#and our office/employee backroom/breakroom is a little corner with wood+canvas dividers separating it from the rest of the store#with LOTS of signs saying employees only nothing is for sale here etc etc etc#and there was a customer today who went through the divider to ''shop'' in the ''other section of the store''#and we didnt even KNOW someone was back there until she brought up one of my coworker's purses to ask how much it was </3#im so baffled. there are so many signs saying its employees only.#not to mention that the office is full of notes and paperwork and my boss's computer and filing cabinets and the fridge and microwave#its CLEARLY an office/break room. even if you ignore all the signs. and YET.#there's also people who will literally just steal. anything and everything#which like. i will always support shoplifting from walmart or another big retail company. in fact i encourage it.#but a tiny locally owned NONPROFIT thrift store that supports local arts ???? HELLO ????????????????#gah. i should be allowed to throttle one customer per day. i should get paid to do so#most of them are so so sweet. we have regulars who are in almost every day and they are the NICEST people ever#but its just those few who are absolutely the worst most selfish stupid people to ever live#woes from work#winter speaks#all complaining aside i do enjoy my job quite a bit more than i thought i would#i like my coworkers and i feel like im actually connecting with most of them#and i love my supervisor. i have so much respect for her she's an amazing person#you win some you lose some i guess. cool job i actually like but with stupid fucking customers who make me want to MURDER
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steelycunt · 6 months
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FINAL MIDBLOCK ESSAY DONE!! I AM FREE!!
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girlcrushau · 1 month
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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von-karmas-a-bitch · 6 months
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cell block tango but it's the ace attorney women who killed men (who deserved it to varying degrees and in some cases not at all)
#like mimi could have an EXCELLENT solo about dr turner#and you really feel for her#dahlia is the same but at some point along the way she starts to sound a little insane but it's unclear where that point is#bc one thing led to another for her and the more people she silenced the more other people she had to silence bc they knew something#and she can't seem to decide if and when she started to enjoy it but she wants you to think she enjoys it bc she wants you to be scared#bc actually SHE'S scared she is very prey animal rage#you're left unsure how to feel abt her by the end of her solo but you can't say you don't sympathise#cammy meele is there but behind the mask of haha funny sleepy girl who gets away with slacking off bc she's hot#is a woman who just wanted some quick and easy cash and planned to just do one crime one time to get rich quick#and then quit this stupid job and live comfortably for the rest of her life#thinking it wasn't THAT big a deal and it was very unlikely for her to get caught#but then it turned out this smuggling ring went way deeper than she thought#and now it's either her or the interpol agent. so she does it. she just wanted to live deliciously was it too much to ask#dee vasquez is there too of course#april may is there bc she didn't get to kill a man but boy did she want to#and then there's calisto. who fucking knows what her motivation was. does she even know? all i know is her solo is gonna be INSANE#idk what to tag this as im just gonna not im so burned out rn lmao
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seithr · 22 days
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Randomly remembered the half-reason i call my oc-verse by the name it has while laying in bed. One-half of the reason i still knew, but I had forgotten what had truly, really cemented it jointly until now
(it was a song from my favourite band I haven't listened to in a while.)
(the song fit so well at the time, still does, that i needed to hold onto it for the main protagonists forever, by partially naming their story in reference.)
Does this explanation make any sense? Does anyone know why I'm tearing up remembering this. Aahh
#(I'm emotional because I've been feeling bad about it all lately. enjoying things I make I mean—art or ocs or frivilous things.)#(So remembering that song and when it came out. That I couldn't see them in person. But i held onto it my own way. As something I loved)#(Something I still do love a lot... Parts of me saying no—you don't hate it. No. I'll help you remember more. I'm a little misty about it.)#The song is just The Killers - Run For Cover. I couldn't see them in person all those years ago—family went without me.#All my new oc rework with Zin and Hunter and Caia were like a year old or so.#It's a little silly. But the character Zin's derived from was a lightning mage so I stuck to it—I like monhun's zinogre for what its worth#So there's recurring theme and imagery. Thunder's not lightning but the sound and the feeling after the flash the flame and strike.#There's that meaningful thought—the story is the aftermath of a big tragedy. It matches what I like in monsters and other chars.#And at that time—my favourite band I missed out on puts out a really good song I download everywhere and it goes like:#He motioned me to the sky/ I heard heaven and thunder cry/ Run for cover/ Run while you can baby don't look back/ You gotta run for cover#And it goes on of course. The rest of the song's still really good. There's more that fits but point is; More evocative imagery.#So there. Why my bundle of OCs—Zinadia Hunter and Caia's story—is called Thunder 20XX. minus the 20XX. That's tongue-in-cheek#About some day I'll manage to make something tangeable or broadly shareable with them. I guarentee this century!#Thunder... oh my darling Thunder. Eight years man. More than that if I really want to count pre-rework INTO the complete original work. but#I like that it's definably 8. I like that I remembered I've always loved them a lot. Always been my thing to lean on even by name...#I need to get to sleep. Ive gotten a little more emotional over one song than I'd rather regularly be. Give it a listen maybe? Goodnight#Armour clanking#I need an oc tag#What have you gathered to report to your progenitors?🎶Are your excuses any better than your senator's🎶He held a conference#and his wife was standing by his side🎶He did her dirty but no-one died🎶#I saw Sonny Liston on the street last-night black-fisted and strong singing🎶Redemption song🎶#He motioned me to the sky🎶I heard heaven and thunder cry🎶RUN FOR COVER#What are you waiting for—a kiss or an apology?🎶You think by now you'd have an A in toxicology🎶#It's hard to pack the car when all you do is shame us🎶Even harder when the dirtbag's famous🎶#I saw my mother on the street last night all pretty and strong singin🎶The road is long🎶#I said 'Mama I know you tried!'🎶But she fell on her knees and cried🎶RUN FOR COVER#Just run for cover - you've got nothin left to lose...
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Made another one
Vaguely followed this tutorial
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hella1975 · 1 year
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im being so serious besties i am not cut out for academia
#like yes i know ive had a very uniquely shit experience in doing a degree i actively not only hate but also am BAD AT#but also i just. cannot hack it#'but hella you go mental and pessimistic every single exam period' i know that but. im right also#like the other day i said to my mum how much ive just been enjoying my job recently#and how huge a deal that is bc i HATE my hometown and ive never ever considered my time here as possibly being good#and my 20s will hopefully be a lot of travelling but in between that to save easier im gonna live at home#so i dont have to worry about rent so alas that means when im saving up for my next trip I WILL BE IN MY HOMETOWN#and as excited as i am for my twenties that is one huge downside to me but i was really cheerfully saying to my mum#that literally for the first time ever ive considered it might not be too bad bc lately i have just enjoyed my job#like i enjoy the people and the work and the lifestyle of it and while it's never gonna be ideal as a means to an end it's actually good#and instead of focussing on that she went OFF on one about how she wants me to stay in education and keep getting qualifications#and she was like 'you could do an english degree you've always wanted to do english or how about open university-'#and i was just sat there blinking at her like girl.... no#like i could FEEL myself shutting down like the terror of having to return to this environment when ive got my sight so set#on that 'one more year and im done one more year and im done' mindset like that has been the only thing getting my through#is that im halfway through the course now so im closer to the other end than i am the beginning and if i can just push through#ill be free from it for the rest of my life. so the thought of immediately returning to academia even for a subject i adore? i felt ILL#and my mum apologised the next day without me even having to say anything bc she realised she kinda bulldozed me there#but i just know whether it's the adhd or ive actually been traumatised by this econ degree#(<- and im being serious there like ik 'traumatised' is a big loaded word but idk what else to use#and this degree has done so so much damage to me like it has convinced me that i am fundamentally a stupid person#to the point i refuse to add up bills when with friends or do answer any sort of intellectual question even if i KNOW i know the answer#bc ive just gone so so long of being bad at the only subject im studying like just SURROUNDED by it and being bad at it relentlessly#and i dont think people realise how damaging it is to very simply just... feel stupid all the time. but oh my god i used to be so confident#and bright and now i wont even do basic addition in front of people)#i really truly dont think i can do this again in any capacity. like the constant exams and studying and assignments#i just cant do it. maybe i just need a year or two away from it after this degree but my goddddd rn i cant see it#yes it's exam time for me can u tell. it always makes me existential and on the verge of vomiting at any given moment#i hate it here i hate it here i hate it here i dont care about iterated deletion of strictly dominated strategies shut the fuck up#hella goes to uni
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birdy-bird27 · 1 month
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I think I need to go to sleep soon my brain is once again is being haunted by the sad thoughts
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dadbots · 8 months
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August… time to get spooky.
#dadbots.txt#this has been in my draft for... almost a month. Yikes.#I’ve been dissociating hella hard these past months or something. swear I don’t remember time moving this fast. maybe it’s just me tbh.#idk what to say about July other than… boring? not much happened and I don’t really remember it if I’m honest. just. mm. shrugs.#best way to describe it LOL#been sleeping a LOT lately and I think it’s fatigue again. was it like anything before? no. not at that rate (yet) but just.#where you wanna sleep and sleep and sleep type of fatigue. you never feel rested and just gotta sleep it off kinda.#just one of those moments yknow.#it sucks. all I’m doing is letting the days pass me by and ‘missing out’ on living life when I could be enjoying it. but I lost interest -#- in doing so for months - years now due to personal health matters. And whaddya know - it came back again. after months of healing.#I'm pretty pissed as it does feel like a slap in the face. but you win some - you lose some. Gonna try and fight through it.#I wrote something at the beginning of august but that got deleted. Had a breakdown and thought huh. what a great way to start the month -#and now it's almost september. Just like that. What a month it's been. Stuck on what else to say but that really.#don't want to keep talking about depressing stuff as that's what i used to do and realized hey. maybe you should stop doing that so often#and not use it so casually in humor and/or stuff. Even though I reblog vents here n' all. but yknow.#maybe it is hypocritical. but that's not the point. Just want to reflect and see if i've changed since coming back to the web after a year.#not like it's going bad. just wished this year was a bit more optimistic. Last year was rough & i'm afraid this year will be another repeat#though I did come out to a family member this month and that was like a punch to the gut. Considering my status with them and all.#won't get into that. for now let's just say i'm not too close with them. An impulsive choice on my end but hey. it went well.#and that's what matters tbh. My younger self would've thought i was actually insane. like to even DO that? really?#shocking. I'm still not over that moment. Probably one of my biggest achievements this year.#I'll update this if anything else comes to mind. none of this make sense and that's ok. clearing my mind right now.#let's see what september has in store for me. Hopefully it'll get better as things slow down w/ winter on its way.#hope y'all enjoyed your summer. 🖤🤘🏽
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newt-and-salamander · 7 months
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Shoutout to my boss who is an absolute legend because she arrived home yesterday at midnight (after a 12 h long train ride from a weeklong conference in South Italy), and today got on another 1.5 h long train ride to come to my university town, read the paper I sent to her YESTERDAY EVENING on said train ride, then tutored me 3.5 hours on historical reasearch methods and my writing style, and then went back home "to read my emails".
(I swear I didn't know she was coming here just for me, and had I known that she would read my paper straight away, I probably wouldn't have sent it.)
Also. I am payed for this. (It's my job to write short papers on historical magazine content, so when we digitise the historical material, it will be easier for people who are not from the field to access the information. I am not very good at it. (Yet.) (Hopefully.)) It's just completely crazy. I apologised that it took me so long to write the paper and she just said, "No, I want you to learn how that works, you need it for your thesis, and you're already so much better than half a year ago!"
I don't know how I deserved this. I have probably the best student job in the world. :))
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allhappyandgay · 9 months
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i didn’t like barbie oop
#i know better than to think i actually DISLIKE a movie simply because it didn’t connect w me or feel like it could apply to me tho#so instead I didn’t ENJOY watching the movie#if that’s any better#idk I thought it was rlly annoying at parts#but I get Im just not the target audience#I thought it would be funnier and better in general cuz of the hype#but honestly—and I hate to say this it makes me feel old—I didn’t rlly get it#like I get the message they couldn’t make that more clear with the amount of times they said patriarchy men women etc#but as a trans man I felt like it made huge generalizations every other line#but I understand that it’s somebody else’s experience of oppression#cuz everything’s happening cuz of what the mom is going through and how she’s being affected by it#but jesus#I was trying not to feel offended or cringe lmao reminding myself that I am a man who happened to not be socialized female growing up#and I prob just don’t understand the depth of the specific feelings they brought up#but yeah it did make me feel p dysphoric and uncomfortable the whole time cuz I just felt like it was putting men and women into boxes and#as always acting as if they experience all of the same experiences because of their gender#which they do not#also thought it was weird that stereotypical barbie and ken were the main barbie’s seems contradictory to the message#got yr one disabled barbie one fat barbie one trans barbie and the rest can be normal but the main ones gotta be white#like I almost feel bad saying it cuz of the whole male gaze issue the movie brings up but I only rlly liked the ken parts lol they were#actually funny n the rest was eh#idk movies like that they try to get that message across but still lack somehow#they still allowed barbie to cry and have the audience sympathize with her and give her sad music to cover it#but any time a man cries it’s as per usual a dramatic humorous exaggerated thing yr supposed to laugh at and not a lot of ppl notice it#also felt like any characters that were supposed to represent me were brushed aside like how queer ppl are irl#the daughter was fucking annoying I hope she died#greta gerwig rlly said yeah she can say “reality challenged” without even an IMPLIED disapproval. when she said YOU FASCIST I held my face#in my hands oh god#they’re like we don’t have genitals aka that’s not what defines sex or gender *ends the movie with going to a gynecologist*#anyway love that karim from the OA was in it talk about range jfc
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