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#i do need to get myself to finish books before i start more tho.. im a little over halfway through girl flesh so i should finish that first
vampirebiter · 1 year
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work was so slow yesterday that i had a chance to sit down and read for like an hour and i really hope it's like that again. i don't wanna make pizza, i wanna read my fucked up little vampire books.
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hearts444innie · 4 months
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Just ask!
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Lee: I.N
Ler: Chan
🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧
Yuhhh I’m back!! I was supposed to post this on the first of June but I got a bit lazy (╥_╥)
Uhh anyways here it is eat up babies!! ٩(ᐛ)و
🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧
Jeongin was in a problem….now jeongin had a love/hate relationship with skin contact but when it came to tickling it was rather…confusing to him
Did he love or hate it?, a while ago he was tickled by Han and when thinking back on it he had a feeling..he couldn’t really describe it it was like a need..he craved it so much.
“Crap…I need to pull myself together I can’t be thinking like this”
He tried to distract himself with anything else but he couldn’t get rid of this feeling so he did research a bit on it but really didn’t get much information on it until he thought of something….maybe his lovely hyung leader would know?, yet he was scared and a bit shy to even talk to him about this..
Morning passes and jeongin still couldn’t get the guts to talk to Chan about this feeling and while he was lost in his own thoughts Chan was one to notice how off innie was all day and notice at dinner that the young boy was zoning out and Chans father skills kicked in knowing he had to check up on him
Jeongin was laying on his bed everytime he thought about tickling it really flustered him he just couldn’t talk to anyone about it, heck he couldn’t say the word either after a while he got up and slowly made his way to the leaders room filled with nervousness.
He took a deep breath before entering.
“H-hyung..i-can I talk to you about something?” Chan sat there as if he had expected the boy to come in “so do I innie come sit next to me” jeongin was baffled and sat with him.
“I’ll save you the trouble for this sweetie I already know” jeongin stayed quiet processing what just left the leaders mouth “w-what?? How-??”
“Simple I looked at your phone and saw you were trying to do research” the fox boy sat there face filled with redness
“It’s cute tho that the word tickle can get you all like this~”
Jeongin slowly got up face getting more red if possible “y-you know im tired so maybe we can save this for another day haha-“ Chan cuts the boy off “nope I’m helping my baby~” jeongin booked it to the door now regretting having this talk “oh no you don’t Cutie” Chan lifted the boy up wrapping his arms around his legs and taking him back to the bed “now let me help you innie”
“H-hyung-“
“Shush sweetheart you know you want me to help you so let me do so okay?”
The boy nodded shyly letting him do so, Chan started off light and soft softly tickling his sides as jeongin still protested a bit
“Hyuhung pleahease stohohp” Chan continued to tease his sides as jeongin started fake protesting this and Chan could tell he was acting like he didn’t want this.
“Fine I’ll go harder than” he dug into his ribs “STOHOP TEASING MEHEHE HAHAHAHA!”
“Why didn’t you come to me about this cutie?~”
“STAHAHP YOUR MEAN!”
“Oh ok I’ll stop” Chan stopped keeping his fingers above the boys belly and jeongin started whining not meaning for it to actually stop “hyungggg”
“What? Little one you said for me to stop or were you lying hm~?” He said as he wiggled his fingers at him
“Stoppp teasing me k-keep going…please” I.n said quietly getting shy all over again
“Awww cute! Baby bread wants this so adorable~” Chan went back to tickling the cutie
“EEK! HYUHAHANG NAHAHAHAHAH PLEASE”
“My little fox is too ticklish can he not handle this~”
Chan tickled each rib again but slowly making the boy go insane “NOHOHOH! STOP AHAHAHAHAH-!”
Chan gave no mercy and continued for a while longer until he saw the boy getting weak so he decided to finish off.
“Get ready sweetie~” Chan blew raspberries on his neck nonstop.
“NOHOHOHOHO-NO AHHH! NOHOT THEHRE PLEHEHEASE CHANNIE HYUNG AHAHAH-!!”
“One more place foxy~” he blew a raspberry on his bellybutton “NO NAHAHAHAH AHH! STOPP” the boy squirmed violently trying to make it stop
“Alright I’m done!” Chan said smiling at the adorable boy who was worn out “haah I hate you-“
“Come here cutie let’s go get ice cream as a reward for taking this”
So they went for ice cream and jeongin got a sugar rush in the end of it 💀
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This one really burnt my brain I was thinking so hard on this one when writing it but yayyy liked how this one turned out (•̀ᴗ•́)و
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frnotlai · 11 months
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“im bored matt” m.s
warnings n shit: smut, language, pet names, prolly pretty shitty writing and prolly not proofread. lowercase intended, if you dont like it dont fucking read it?!? im not your mom do what the fuck you want.🤘🏼
finally holy fuck. me, my boyfriend and his y tyty brothers just got back from tour and i just finished mine and matts laundry it took me a fee hours but im done. i walk into matts room to see him playing video games with nate. i walk over to him and give him a little kiss on the cheek. he mutes his mic and tells nate to give him a sec
“what are you doing sweetheart?”
i sinply shrug and go lay on his bed and begin to read my book. im reading twisted love by anna haung.
i got to a part were theres smut and immediately begin to feel myself pool in my panties. i need matt, now. i bookmark my book and lie it down and walk over to matts desk were hes gaming. i spin his chair around and sit in his lap.
“princess what are you doing” he lies his controller down and mutes his mic.
“nothing” i look up at him batting my eyelashes innocently.
“i don’t appreciate the lying baby” he grits his teeth together.
i smile up at him “im just bored matt” i sigh
“see it wasn’t so hard. don’t lie to me again princess.” he says strictly wich only made me more wet. god this man is going to be the death of me.
i straddle his waist and lay my head in the crook of his neck “matt please” i whimper into his ear. he turns his head and smirks down at me
“what do you need my love? i need words, tell me.”
“you” is all i can manage out before i start whimpering and whining again.
“thats all i needed sweetheart.” matt says b4 unmuting his mic, — “Nate we can play later see ya bro.” “bye man”
and with that matt picks me up, throws me on the bed, and locks his door.
“now what exactly do you want baby. do you want me to eat that pretty little pussy out until you can’t feel your legs, or do you want me to fuck you in every hole so hard you can’t walk tmrw and i have to carry you everywhere?”
i genuinely considered my options. i have work tomorrow. fuck. “the first one” i mumble kinda embarrassed to be saying it out loud.
“what was that love? you want me to eat your pretty little pussy out until you cant feel anymore? say less.”
He immediately took my legs and slung them over his shoulders. in one swift movement my panties and skirt were on his bedroom floor. “look at you already dripping for me. what a good girl”
“matt please” i whine out. and with that he dove in. licking and sucking. i was crushing his head with my thighs and tugging his hair. “OH! maTT fuck i- agh” were the only coherent things coming out of my mouth. “you taste so good pretty girl” he smirked up at me.
“matt please can please cum omfg i cant matt.” i was almost on the verge of tears because i was so pleasured.
“cum for me sweetheart”
and with the knot in my stomach was unfolding like never before. i came shamelessly and hard.
“oh fuck” i muttered out coming down from my high. “if i start being bored more often will you do this every time”
“maybe pretty girl, lets get you cleaned up tho” he says and starts to get up but i stop him. “not so fast pretty boy its your turn.” i say seductively dropping to my knees.
PART 2?!? lmk if y’all liked it. writings pretty ass but wtv. WOOO
Nate was that green writing btw😋✌🏼
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gentlehue · 2 months
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⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ cynthia's rest of 2024 wellness challenge: day three crossed off tasks are ones i've done!
୨♡୧ wake up between 7-9am every day, sleep between 9pm-12am every night
୨♡୧ some form of movement every day
୨♡୧ at least one full bottle of water every day
୨♡୧ journal at least once per day, preferably twice
୨♡୧ read a book at some point in the day
୨♡୧ consume some form of educational media once per day
୨♡୧ no technology an hour before your intended bedtime
୨♡୧ try to do at least one kind deed per day
୨♡୧ no negative self talk/self deprecating jokes/negative talk or gossip about others
୨♡୧ no screen time above five hours
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notes 𐙚⋆°.⋆
i was acc starting to fear i made this too easy for myself but then i realised ive acc been capable of doing this the entire time 😫 i just struggled to find a reason/the energy to commit before but nothing makes me commit more than a challenge because i’m incredibly competitive LMAO
anw im really glad i decided to post this because it forced me to commit and honestly i’ve been feeling sooo much happier 🙏🏼
today i did day 3 of madeleine abeid’s pilates plan:) considered stretching instead but ultimately decided not to (might stretch instead tomorrow tho)
finished reading the inheritance games in one day!!!! very easy read would highly recommend if ur in a slump LOL 💘
for my educational media i decided to listen to an episode of a history podcast 🤔 i’m gonna be taking history next year as a subject & i haven’t taken it since year 9 so i needed a refresher LOL honestly found it quite boring so if any of my history nerd mutuals have better recs pls send them my way!!! my biggest regret is not cultivating my history knowledge more because i loved it SO much y7-8 but i had a really horrible teacher in y9 who caused me to drop it for gcses 😭
i think i’m getting a gym membership tomorrow!!! honestly a little nervous not because of working but but because usually i don’t work out in front of other ppl LOL almost opted out of it but then i saw a quote that read “your full potential can only be unlocked when you put yourself in environments you are not familiar or comfortable with” and that motivated me 😊
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minheeskitten · 10 months
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"2k is long" is also nonsense i'm so sorry 😭 2k is barely anything if you're trying to introduce an AU and actually flesh in a setting and especially if you're trying to show different personality traits 😭 your fic are mostly AUs with really well thought out lore, and it needs the word count to breathe and establish everything. if someone's attention span is too short to read more than - what - 2 pages? that's their problem, not yours! fwiw, my fic lengths range with the shortest starting at around 5k and the longest getting close to 30k and i have never had anyone leave a complaint about the length! people are more than willing to sit through 10k+ just to get to the smutty stuff, and they usually end up enjoying the rest of the fic as well. do not worry about it! you're doing just fine 🩷
I don't often look at the length of a fic unless im updating someone on how long its getting. My shortest wip is 100 words. And. Ive posted it to here bcs i feel it'll never be finished.
If it does get finished eventually then i will post it as a fic but. Until then it sits in my drafts.
My fics almost always include worldbuilding to at least 3k now. Though not all of them were like that.
Do you want in on a secret? I don't think out the world for my aus. It fleshes itself out. I think on what may happen n go from there. The story writes itself. I am just a vessel for the words and visions.
I am absolutely terrible at worldbuilding if im doing it consciously.
Its why i have visible headcanons for idols. But i just can't put them into words haha.
The most i think through is 'what sort of details would enhance this and make it better to read'
And then thats where i go from!
Siren!ivan was originally supposed to be more non-con than it is rn. The consent is not proper consent tho but thats bcs. Well. Siren wants what he wants and he will convince dann to give it to him.
Though. Thats a little bit of a spoiler. It is going to be tagged accordingly. Don't worry ill tag fics right.
The fic i thought through the most, probably is one ive not even started wtiting. The dissection fic. I gotta do all sorts of research so i can make sure its accurate and well done.
Which unfortunately means i gotta look at anatomy from a more medical standpoint. Need to go find a book for that..
The first fic i put out actually has a very strong plot hole. That i told myself id patch before posting it but. I didn't.
That plot hole was the reasoning as to why ivan was doing that to hwon. It has a very weak reason and i could absolutely fix it now. But. Not this year.
I write ab 5k minimum most of the time haha. I prefer letting the story fill itself out n then helping fine tune details. Its why i really can't tell you how long a fic may be.
So far my longest fic is 16k words. Published. Theres more unpublished. That's for the abandoned but not orphaned one.
I may return to it eventually. That's why i didn't wanna orphan it.
All of my fics stop at a point they organically would have stopped at. When i feel it can't really take another scene. I end it. That usually leaves spaces for part twos to them as well!
But i like exploring aus as i write them.
Fun fact! I write aus bcs im worried that if i do anything else i may accidentally copy someone else's idea.
I do get inspired by the other kd writers. Oh gods do i get inspired.
Lee, lunar, eve, even erin, who encourages the hwonicide. They all inspire me in their own ways. Does that usually come in the form of a prompt to note down asap? Yeah.
But other ways are helping with details for fics. And they are all very welcome to chat ab fics w me. I don't steal ideas. Not without permission and changing it to be my own.
I have a prompt that is inspired by eve's fic Clear My Mind (eve is karmacumover btw!)
But it is different. I may show her the prompt itself if she wants to see it haha.
But i love working on fics. Even if I can't be proud of them as a 'look i made this!' i can still look at the work and go 'yeah. Thats good.'
Thank you lee for helping me figure out how to do that. It was amazing to be able to step back and go 'thats a good story' if i removed myself from it.
The lee im referring to here is intenselysalmon. So she knows who im referring to.
One day. One day my goal is to be proud of how much I've written. Of what I've written.
Its a goal i think is far away. But the more i talk to other writers. The more i realize.
Im not as bad at writing as i think i am.
Honestly id never even considered myself a good writer, until i asked writers like lee and erin their feedback on my works. And they both said i write well. Maybe a little dialogue heavy but. Thats fine i can work on it.
Im doing my best. And im trying to ensure i continue getting better.
The more i talk to other writers and see how they talk ab my writing. The more i go. 'maybe im too harsh on myself' but. As they say, you are your own worst critic.
Honestly i never even considered my work good enough to do much with. But. Lunar still offered to possibly do a collab or fic trade. And i keep thinking on it. Maybe.
It makes me think they find me a better writer than i find myself to be.
Then i see eve, reacting to some of the xlips of airen!ivan ive put out. And she's reacting as i would for any of lee's clips. I find lee an amazing writer. It seems eve thinks of me that way too.
Im trying to wrap my head around it. But the reason i am so harsh on myself is. Anxiety and self doubt. And i need to work through them.
Thats the first time ive admitted that.
I will work through my weaknesses, and be better than before. Slowly. It takes time. I have to be patient.
One day. One day i will be able to proudly say 'im a good writer'
Its not today. But. It will be an eventuality.
Moots mentioned in this post:
Lee (@intenselysalmon )
Erin (@kurenaiwataru )
Eve (@karmacumover )
Lunar (@kingdoms-babygirl )
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bbbeowulf · 9 months
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YIPPEE I HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GREAT HOLIDAY SEASON AND HAS A HAPPY NEW YEARRRRR!!!!
I have a lot of art resolutions that I wanna get through this year so I figured I would share them with all of you… VIA BINGO CARD!!
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Bingo card inspired by AlmaKRowan on Twitter/X!!
List and explanations below the cut!!
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Architecture: I want to learn how to draw buildings, rooms, etc.!!
Adopts: I want to make adopts!!
KOI character refs: Reference sheets for the characters in my story “Knights of Irene”!!
ArtFight: I’m gonna aim for 20 attacks/revenges, but we’ll see!!
GraVT piece: a group picture of the indie VTuber group I’m in, GraVT!!
Animated Illustration: I’VE BEEN WANTING TO DO THIS FOR YEARS MY TIME IS NOW
Animal studies: learn how to draw animals better
PNGtuber+ comm: I made one for myself (see it HERE) but I want someone to commission me for one >:,(
VTuber redesign: potentially maybe redesign my VTuber (even tho I literally just killed myself making the PNG+ model but WHATEVER IM ON DRUGS IG)
Leo TOTIKFR animatic: animatic for my OC Leo to the song “The Only Thing I Know For Real” by Tyson Yen
Digital painting: IVE BEEN WANTING TO LEARN HOW TO DIGITALLY PAINT/RENDER BUT I CANNOT WRAP MY HEAD AROUND IT BUT I WANNA TRYYY
Holiday YCH: YCH comms for major holidays!!
Snow Fairy MAP: I have a part in @jurygarroth’s Snow Fairy MAP so I need to get that done :D
Art Prints: I WANNA SELL ART PRINTS RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Bug studies: I wanna learn how to draw bugs :3c
OC sticker sheets: I wanna make (AND SELL) sticker sheets of my OCs (and maybe other fandom characters like MLP and stuff!! We’ll see.)
RP movie posters: movie poster style illustrations of my active role plays!!
DTIYS: I WANNA MAKE ONE AND PEOPLE PARTICIPATE PLZZZZ 😭😭 JUST ONE PERSON PLZ I BEG
Emotes: re-do my twitch/discord emotes
Sell canvases @ gallery: I have an art gallery in my town that I wanna apply for and sell some irl artwork!!
YCH comms: more YCH comms!!
Lobelia lore animatic: lore animatic for my VTuber
Pose studies: learn how to draw poses better
KOI cover: book cover for “Knights of Irene”
Abaddon Webcomic: this is a HARD maybe, but I’ve tried to make this webcomic happen 2 or 3 different times and I always got sick and tired of it before I got ANYWHERE with it. I think if I take it in more of a mini comic approach like Shen or Merryweather!!
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There are a few more ideas I had that I didn’t put on my bingo!!
Leo’s Final Form: conceptualize Leo’s final form and draw the finalized version
Backgrounds: get better at drawing backgrounds
Foliage: get better at drawing foliage
Color Theory: learn color theory
Interesting shading: play around with colors and shade with different colors perhaps to make it pop?
Aphmau art: draw more Aphmau art
KOI: Finish planning out KOI and potentially start writing it? It’s not art in the sense of it being written not drawn but whatever I wanna do this
Commissions: keep doing commissions! I wanna try to do at least 20 this year 👉👈
Art trades: do some art trades with people outside of ArtFight!!
Art raffle: do an art raffle 🧍
Draw my FRIENDSSS: I WANNA DRAW MY FRIENDS WAHHHHHHHHHH
GET HIRED BY YORUNOMACHI: *on my hands and knees sobbing, begging, throwing up*
Do Aphtober/Cringetober/some form of tober AND FINISH: I doubt I’ll finish lmfao
Make OC profiles on UnVale: it’s like toyhouse but it doesn’t make me want to kms when using it
Learn VTuber Rigging: I just wanna know how to do it :3
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Anyways I’m sure there’s more but this is just a list of everything I can think of off the top of my head! A week from now I might decide to not do any of this LMFAO! But we’ll see how much I actually do this year!! Yippee!!
Happy new year everyone!!
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fruitsilly · 2 years
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10 people you want to know better (tagged ppl are under no obligation to do this <3!!)
thank you jude @pansyfem for tagging me! this looks like fun :3
relationship status: single, but heavily lushing/meshing (the sensual/alterous equivalents of crushing respectively) on this guy in my class at uni rn. and i really. Really want him to be my boyfriend holy fucking shit he's so cute. anyways. i also have a milder squish on a girl who's also in my class. i have two exes but i am aromantic and since they were romantic relationships which needed reciprocation they didn't work out. i am still friends with one of my exes (who's also arospec) tho so it's all good!! :•D
favourite colours: my top 5 fave colours are
green
purple
pink
yellow
blue
in that order :)
favourite foods: ough pasta. any kind of pasta really but i am especially partial to lasagne. i also love cheese and pizza. oh and how could i forget!!! millionaire's shortbread!!
song stuck in my head: TOXIC BY BRITNEY SPEARS!!!!!!!!!! although before this it was the borgia family horrible histories song :)
last thing you googled: i use firefox bc im swag so technically i duckduckgo'ed this Anyways. i searched for the tv show "you" bc i saw a gifset from that show featuring a lady i am incredibly bi for and i was like 👀 will i have to watch this now
time: 9.32PM (im gonna write the time of posting this bc i wrote this in my notes app)
dream trip: spain or scotland!! spain bc im learning spanish and scotland bc it's just such a lovely country <3
last thing you read: "the children" by lucy kirkwood! it's a play im reading for my course :)
last book you enjoyed reading: ugh i haven't had the capacity to actually sit down and read a physical book for... too long it's been ages. it's mostly to do with my disabilities and time :( i started reading good omens on my phone but i didn't finish it (i like it so much better than the show lmao). but the actual physical book i read last was "death sets sail" by robin stevens, the final book in her "murder most unladylike" series. ough. ive been with that book series from literally the very beginning. id highly recommend 👍
favourite thing to cook/bake: sadly i don't do enough cooking or baking to know but what i have made is fudge which was quite fun! ive also made a delicious cheesy pasta bake hehe
favourite craft to do in your free time: again. i haven't had the capacity or time to actually make any art since like... march, so, 7 months. yeesh. i miss making digital art. id like to pick it up again but idk when that'll be. id also like to try and get a badge maker bc i have loads of ideas but ugh time is a problem. im just so busy at uni.
most niche dislike: im sure there's Something since im autistic and autism is the Strong Opinions Disorder but nothing's coming to me atm [shrugs]
opinion on circuses: ive only been to one in my life and i really enjoyed it apart from the clowns who i found scary but i was like 8 i think. im less scared of clowns now. also the general aesthetics of them fuck severely
do you have any sense of direction: hardly lol! i have a great photographic memory so even going a certain route once with someone who knows the way i can remember it HOWEVER i am utter shit at finding my way with a map on my own. google maps is always open when im trying to find a place and even then i frequently go in the wrong direction or miss a turning. i just cannot translate distance on a digital map to irl distance. don't even get me started on using a traditional map bc g-d above. id end up more lost than i was before. im excellent at just confusing the hell out of myself <3
tagging: @sillyspooky @skylightz @bromantically @transgenderpolyhedrals @folderone @gir-posting @nvr-pass-spookier-version @heartslobbf @taikacohen @laymedowninsheetsoflinen (plus anyone who sees this and wants to do it just say i tagged you ^_^). again no obligation to do this !! :)
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mothlegs · 11 months
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i am tired and cozy and in a good mood so i will talk about how i got all my books :)
tired cozy also gives me a bit of bravery so i am hugging all my mutuals. especially two specific ones because i see you doing badly but i am too shy to approach you directly so i hope you see this and magically know i am giving you the most caring hugs and i hope things are better soon
anyways books:) or well bookcase, not all reading books. im looking from my bed so i cant see all of them But
Sketch Books x2 (+1 smol ver)
i dont know how i got thes3 actually. maybe from tiger? i miss when tiger was t. uh. how do you spell that. tier..? ti'er?? idunno. the old name. i think these are all filled up, i think i got the first one when i was 10 :]
ANATOMY
This is a book full of naked people that i guess i accidentally stole. oops. i borrowed it from a now ex family friend who is insanely good at art, when i was like 12 or 13, and then it ended up on my floor and i ended up telling people he was kinda Weird(bad) about me (regret! made everything bad despite being true) so now we dont talk to him anymore so he cant get the book back. bah
Uhh a connect the dots magazine(?) my grandma gave me. dunnno when. i dont think ive touched it since :( sad cause i love connecting dots
I Am Looking From My Bed So Can't See What These Are x2 + Some loose papers
Fancy journal/sketch book/idk my mom bought for me in the big city :)!!
Undertale art book <333
I got it as a very late christmas present when i was 11 or 12 years old as well as some other undertale stuff and i literally started crying
I think this ones a diary i never really used that my mom got me and my grandma years ago. oop
Dear Evan Hansen !!!
i love this book. it is better than the musical. i love miguel and they had a perfect opportunity to put him in the movie but they didnt so i hope the movie goes to the movie version of hell
i got it when i was 14 i think? the week before it came i was actively suicidal in a "i feel a burning need inside me that is screaming at me to die" and that book might just be the only reason i didnt attempt then
Salmon Coloured Book From Tiger. cant see anything else about it and i have no memory of it
Skammeren's Datter
i think my grandma found this being given away for free at the library? one of my favourite books as a child my mom used to read it to me before bed when i was 11:)
Fængslende Tanker
book about intrusive thoughts my mom borrowed me at some point within the last 2 or 3 years
Tidsfangen
also my moms it is fiction i remember nothing about it oop
The Song of Achilles
i saw it on tumblr and liked it so got it as a gift at some point. i dont remember when, i still havent read it :(
Books my grandma got from a library giving them away x6
i havent read any of these:( also dont remember when i got them
Skammeren's Datter 1-2 & 3-4
the full series im p sure!! wanna reread themm
MAUS
i got it for my last birthday!! i havent gotten very far in reading but it is very good and i am learning and developing curiousities
The Unofficial Ghibli Cookbook
also for my last birthday!! havent made anything from it yet but it is really cool and i am so excited to make food from my favourite movies:))
Fever Series x3 (+1 in my nightstand)
currently rereading these, i havent read the 4th book tho
i found the first book at the library when i was pretty small, definitely less than 10, but i was too scared to read it. i think i gave up on reading it like 3 times but i kept thinking about it and eventually i read it and fell in looove. i love these books so much:D they are about everyone in sweden dying of fever except some kids:)
The Witch Boy
i first saw this book in sweden when i was 13 years old. it was in the basement of a game store, which is also the only store i have bought my own dice from. it also had a life size alien from the movies
i dont remember when i got the book myself though :( ive read some of it some years ago but dont think i finished it
More books my grandma got for free from the library x6
Wreck This Journal
my mom gave it to me when i was like 11 but i never really got to wrecking it u.u
Dreadnought
IT IS ABOUT A TRANS SUPERHERO :D her name is danny and i read some of it a summer in a tiny bedhouse (1 room building with 2 beds and nothing else. didnt even have a real door!!) at my aunties summerhouse (they are rich) i think i heard of it on tumblr. i love this book a lot but i havent finished it u.u
Extra Room No Books
d&d stuffs, some small toys and plushies, uuuh i see a small cardboard box but i dont remember whats inside:)
Shelf Below My Fancy Clothes
BNHA 1-17 i think?? also some Vigilantes, Black Butler 1+2, Bungou Stray Dogs 1, iii think thats it? i cant see it from here so idk
all of these were gifts from my grandma :)
"Nightstand" (chair thing i use as a nightstand)
First fever book
Killing Stalking 1+2 (bought at a comic store myself!! i was literally jumping around the store i was so excited to be there there was so much cool manga and there was stuff by neil gaiman!!! this is where bsd and the cookbook are from too)
The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy (given to me by a mutual actually :3 but like. mmmany years ago and i still havent read it >_o im sowey but i appreciate it a lot and i treasure it forever)
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chewinglass · 1 year
Text
hey… forgot you existed for a bit. feels like the perfect activity for 3:11am me.
so weird that I’m pretty much just writing to my future self. Hello future lass, I love you. Tonight I really wanted to read that book that has that name, I really wanted to project myself on her, the one with my name, but the book isn’t what I hoped it would be. It makes me want to write, consuming mediocre art makes me want to create mediocre art. I hope the markets can accommodate for this.
Im still me. There’s still so much I want to do. I don’t know how to do it all. I think im going to become more strict with myself now, now is the time to finally develop self discipline. I think I need to break up with someone before that though. I could write so much about this person, he wants to marry me, I think he’s cool, a little too old for me, not super respectful of my bid to be alone but it’s not up to him. My emotions are all chaotic, I’ve gone through so many lesson arcs so far. Fantasizing about life with him, fantasizing about eclipsing him, fantasizing about being with someone who is the exact opposite of him, fantasizing about all the possible paths life with him could take, realizing that all of these are exaggerated fantasies and life will be much more strange and unpredictable. Reality is stranger than fiction. Right now I’m just trying to stay happy. Trying to get back to work, it’s hard. I feel so much time pressure. I’m waiting for manic inspiration to strike, just to get me out of this rut. It’s dumb.
I feel like I won’t let myself work on anything because everything I want to work on is “wrong” and I need to be prioritizing what needs to get done and what doesn’t better. Which is true, but it also means I’m doing no work right now. I hate it.
I’m the most powerful I’ve ever felt: so fully in control of my destiny, forgiven of my sins (I forgave myself), happy, not letting my life fall to pieces, building it up slowly.
I’m also the weakest: I miss my insane 16 year old self. I miss my insane 19 year old self. I miss the self I was in my fantasies.
I’ve known so many different selves, I want to be so many more selves. I feel incredibly pen holding right now, literally.
Thought about doing a spell tonight to unbind myself from my bad habits but as we know, magic can only do what it is allowed to do, and at a deep level I’m not sure if I’d allow it. My brain said just try tho, you can always reverse it. And my mind said “how do we know how to do this? How do we know the right way? Ask ChatGPT?” The fight hasn’t been settled yet. I’m so bad at committing to things. Ex; I would never do an exercise spell since I’d worry that I’d end up focusing too much on exercising and gym would become a 3hr a day thing (1hr prep, 1hr gym, 1hr sauna/shower). I need to learn how to go to the gym and be back in an hour. Or maybe just not go every day, or go in the morning if I can get on a sleep schedule I like? Idk. I also need to learn how to do this fully for myself, I might not see a difference in my body, I won’t get any external approval. Fuck it I should start going to the gym when I wake up.
I keep overcomplicating things. I want to learn how to eat an elephant. It’s Thursday I’m going to commit to a week of learning how to eat an elephant. I’m going to give myself a dr prescription:
- at least 1 hour a day of movement
- at least 1 hour a day of work
- at least one hour a day of cleaning up
- journal: what’s your fantasy morning routine? Try it out for two mornings.
journal: what are you excited to do during your hour of movement? Hour of work? Hour of cleaning? Imagine it before you do it.
It’s so important to imagine things before doing them when you create a todo list, especially if the task is intimidating.
One big open question for me is how do I balance exploration with execution? Will I ever finish the side project I wanted to finish? It could be really helpful for me, possibly others, and quick to finish. Why am I rationalizing it to myself?
I need to write a letter cancelling my travel probably. I need to get some of these constant ideas out of my head. Finish pg task. Make some designs. Update TestFlight. Ughhhhhhh I feel so bad. I keep wanting to run away. Maybe I need sleep. Yeah. It’s 3:39am. What else could I possibly do right now that wouldn’t be better done when I wake up? Plan my day tomorrow maybe?
ok I’m gonna drink a boujie relaxation drink called “I love my adrenals” and plan my day tomorrow. I definitely need to shower tomorrow lol.
I think I can actually get a lot done if I don’t travel or get a boyfriend. Dating takes so much time. Ok bye xoxoxoxo
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athania1309 · 2 years
Text
I reincarnated as Penelope Eckhart chapter 3
My Wattpad is Kuroo's wifu check it there ❤️🫶
-knock knock-
"huh" i rubbed my eyes "who's there?"
"My lady, It's the head maid "
"Come in"
-creak, thud-
"Did you sleep well my lady"
"what is it" I said in a cheerful tone
"I came here to assign you a new personals maid"
"hmm personal maid~" i put my index to my lip while looking up "is the maid still here the one who was serving me mmmmm what was her name"
"her name is emily madam and yes she is still here but since she failed to serve you properly she gets a three month pay cut why madam?"
"then she can just continue being my personal maid" I said in a cheerful tone i skipped to my wardrobe 
"huh"
"it will be a hassle without anyone serving me now and more of a hassle to find someone new plus they will do poorly ok"
"if you understand then send her to me"
"i will have to ask the duke first"
"no need ill go ask father myself then tch why can't anyone here trust me, where is father anyways"
"he is at the palace my lady"
"don't make me repeat myself if you can't do so then leave"
-timeskip-
-knock knock-
"m-my lady-y here is your breakfast" emily said shaking
poor girl but still foooooooood is here fkn finally im starvin i want a pork cutlet bowl tho :') 
I picked up my utensils and started eating 
 -timeskip when i finished eating-
 "Emily" 
"y-yes my lady" 
"where is the needle you always poke me every morning "
"my lady im sorry please forgive me"
"if you can hear well then give me the damn needle"
smart kid..... but do you fkn know how painful it was to wake up to this i gotta agree with penelope "watch carefully kayy" i said in a singsong voice, i raised my hand and stabbed the other one "ouch" 
"eek !! my lady you bleeding" emily cried
"don't cry Emily cause every time you mess up i will do this again even if it hurts but then i wonder how much wounds i will end up with by the time i turn 18, but then of course i will take everything from cold bath water to food that you give me wouldn't rumors' increase on who would dare hurt the lady right~~" I'm sorry Emily but this is the only was to get you to treat me like Penelope i feel guilty :') 
"like i said everything will depend on how you act"
she quickly left but then my relief was short-lived until someone barged into my room 
"oi WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING" a younger version of reynold appeared
"mm why are you here young master are you here to annoy me" i said in a monotone voice, he flinched
"tch what is up with you your not making a ruckus like usual rat" he angrily said
"0-0"
  bitch wtf do you mean rat if anyone is the rat its you he looks like a dog....... i kinda wanna tease him no no no i gotta stay calm 
-grumble grumble-
"pffftt ahahahahahhahah" i burst out laughing
"oi whats so funny" reynold said covering his red face
"you look like a tomato bwahahaha" i continued 
"tch" he left blushing
"awww i wanted to tease him more"
.
.
.
-timeskip 4 years later-
"what do you think does it taste good " i asked 
"mpphh yep *nomnomnom*" reynold said
"teeheee" :)
"wtf why are you making that face your up to no good again" reynold grumbled
"nothingg~~~ btw can you give the rest to father and derrick?"
"sure are you going to the library again?"
"yep i found something interesting there" 
"haaahh~ fine you always seem to get your head stuck in a book don't overwork" he waved and left with the food
     This feels nice I managed to raise all their lovepoints before I could turn 17 
.
.
.
.
to be continued 
0 notes
kanataka-san · 3 years
Text
Owen Grady X Male Reader
9:25am
I've been looking for (Y/N) all morning. You probably think why.... Well when I woke up he was gone- It was weird since I always woke up first, then after breakfast we're driving together to his lab - yea he wasn't there either- next stop was little cafeteria when he makes his morning coffe- still nothing - I also asked some people that works with him- They didn't saw him today...
I could call him but it'll be pointles 'cause he left his phone at home.
I'm sure I'll find him sooner or later, right now I need to see my girls.
Little time skip *paddock* 11:16am
"I bet they're hungry." I quietly said to myself taking bucket with meat in it and went on a catwalk.
While I was going up the stairs most of the guards- or rather idiots with guns- were standing frozen with wide eyes. My brows furrowed. As soon as I was all the way up I looked down and saw my lover.....
In the paddock....
With four raptors...
Cuddled up to him leting out sound like cats purring. "Well you don't see it everyday." I got down and made my way to first door of the paddock -opening them and closing after I was in and put down the bucket.
"I see you're comfortable." on my voice (Y/N) turned his head to look at me "Yea, I am." he then tried to get up but Blue had other plans.
She took a bit of (Y/N)s (F/C) shirt and bite it to pull him down again. Echo and Charlie came up neer him as Delta pickes up his book and places it on his lap. Blue sat down behind him acting as his personal pillow so (Y/N) wouldn't touch the ground with his back.
To be honest this made me jelous -will i admint it? - nah-"Your gonna stand there or come to me?" (Y/N) said looking- annoyed- going through pages where i asummed he finished reading. "Ok, ok, im comming in." I opened the second door and Blue made sound that I took as warning "Blue drop it." she didn't listen as others started to do the same 'oh so now youre agains your Alpha'. "Easy girls hes your Alpha and my mate. Be good." they went quiet. "So now they are listening to you?" My brows rose- I won't hide I was proud of my lover tho-.
"Well im glad they do 'cause by now, I'll be dead. You know I like colour red but I do like my body in one piece and organs inside- the same with my blood, not other way around." I saw smirk comming up at his handsome face.
(Y/N) let out a sigh and got up, girls wanted too but he told them to stay.
"Lets go." I looked down and saw
(Y/N)s hand in mine.
Going out we closed the paddock.
"Don't you have work to do?"
"Took a day off." I nooded- 'well that make sense-'-
"But why you were with my raptors?" "They needed my asist too check on them. I didn't woke you up 'cause you was really tired when you came home yesterday and when I was about to go out Blue and the girls hold me back and wouldn't let me go." "Yea. That ansvers my other questions."
After we returned home (Y/N) went to the kitchen and began to cook, I went to the livingroom to sit on a couch. Today'll be spaghetti - I love his cooking as much as i love him-.
"Dino-dad! earth to you!" "what-?" I asked confused. "ehh.... Can you take out the plates?" "Sure." I made my way to the kitchen and since plates were on upper shelf where (Y/N) stood I came up behind him kissing his neck a couple of times lighty "O-Owen not now." I hummed into his skin.
"Please, I don't want to burn myself." singhing defeated. "Ok." As I was about to take the plates out (Y/N)s hand occupied my cheek "Don't pout you big baby."
Before he let me go I got a kiss on the lips that was a little heated taking me by suprise - but i wasn't complaining.
"Now took them out and put them on the table. Im starving." Chuckling I did as I was told "You know I love you." "Yup. Well I love you too" (Y/N) said looking at me smiling making me smile back, earning a chuckle- and soon deliciouse meal.
"I really love your cooking." "I know thats why im doing it." "Yea but you always come home tired-" "It make me happy seeing you eat food i cook. I can say it makes my day better."
All I heard after that was silence.
"That was cheesy." He looked annoyed "Oh shut up... I was trying to be romantic mr. Owen Ruin-the-mood Grady." "Speaking of which. I don't like your last name." (Y/N) furrowed his brows.
"Wha-?" I got up "How about we change it?" I got on one knee and smile "Owen I swear if your joking I won't hesitate to-"
"(Y/N)(L/N)" He went silent. "You are the love of my life. I love seeing your sleeping face, adorible bedhead, your shining eyes when your happy, that annoyed look when I do something stupid-" (Y/N) roled his eyes making me chuckle taking out the ring. "- when you rool your (E/C) eyes when i ramble to much and many more. Will you make me the happiest men on this planet and marry me?"
Just now i noticed tears running down his cheeks.
"You idiot..."
He got up.
"Of course i will!!"
I put the ring on his finger and got pulled to the ground with (Y/N) on top of me 'crying mess... But my crying mess'.
Kissing his head I rubbed his back
"I love you so much Owen."
"I love you to, but honey, please stop weating my shirt." I heard him laugh and slightly pulled away. His hands on both sides of my head, legs straddling my hips. His face all red not only from crying but from blushing too with small smile. "oh- kiss me." I haven't waist any more time and obeyed, pulling him closer to my chest kissing his lips.
Words:1073
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batteryrose · 2 years
Note
im late but ASK GAME TIME!! 1, 9, 21, 28, 36
Hey Mo I love you!! And that's a lot of numbers!!! Fine I'll answer them
Which of your fics would you keep the basic plot of but rewrite completely?
Wouldn't mind rewriting and bettering Tragedy Farce if only I have THE GODDAMN TIME
You also have to kill the perfectionist in you sometimes. I'd rather move on and make some other funky stuff
Thoughts on cliffhangers.
What about cliffhangers. I can be tricked into thinking bad stories are good if they have a good cliffhangers in every chapter or something....... So I'd say they're pretty important. You gotta make people keep reading somehow! I'm pretty bad at it myself though.
Can you accurately predict how long your fics are going to be? If you can, what's your secret?
I can't really. There is some intuition in shorter ones though. Usually those one shots with only one scene that I like writing will end up around 2k words. Somehow that's just how long all of them would be without me even checking the word count. And it would be enough, too. Crazy
As for my longer fics, they always end up double the amount of what I predicted lol
Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?
I think to write often you have to be amongst writers. Have some writer friends like this, who tags you in.. Asks games.
Seriously though, it seems to work best. Reading all your friends works and throwing your own out there to be read. It's a rhythmic cycle. There's nothing else more motivating. As for writing longer fics, I have a habit of not talking/sharing wips about it to anyone until it's finished. I probably should! You probably should. You can probably get better ideas from other people. You might also catch mistakes early. Either way, Use People.
What else... Mmmmmoh I usually continue reading a book first before I start writing because then the words flows out easier. But that might just be because I'm not a native english speaker. Get the english brain going. I think it'll work for everyone though.
When I'm so lazy and stubborn to write anything, I'll use an alarm to do those 25 min writing sprints. This I rarely do. It's only for my long fics that I procrastinate on horribly. It sort of works tho and after some days I'd start writing on my own without needing the alarm.
One other thing too maybe: draft on phone and edit on computer! Especially porn!! Cannot for the love of me ever do that on computer
How do you come up with fic titles? What's the one you're most proud of?
I like to reference things in titles basically. I'm not creative. If I'm stumped then I'll just steal some other people's titles. The Tragedy Farce one, for example, is a title of a philosophy book written by Slavoj Zizek, which is also referencing Marx's quote about Napoleon that says: "history repeats, first as tragedy then as Farce" or something like that (I think he was specifically talking about Napoleon III). 'Less than Nothing' is also a zizek book title, while also being something Leon himself said once. It's great.
Some other titles that reference things:
Sleipnir is a horse in nordic mythology who is ridden by Odin, who has eight legs, like the,,, eight princes of Rhodolite. So "Sleipnir's Second Limb" just means Chevalier. Through the pov character's view, he is seen as some sort of a God.
I know Nothing about norse mythology. I believe I was searching for just about any horse god out there to reference. I think this one is perfect.
"If the mountain won't come to Mochammad," and "God Between Us and All Harm" are both people sayings that I found by googling. I'm most proud of the Muhammad one. It fits PERFECTLY with Adam's dumb predicament there. As for the second one, it just sounds visceral with the content of the fic.
'Symptoms of Rosette Disease' is just some words. Honestly thinking of changing it. Rosette disease itself is a fascinating plant disease, that's why I used it. And it's supposed to mean the underlying prejudice and inequality that exists in Rhodolite, the kingdom of roses, or something. I'm Trying to be profound here
'The Skies Have Been Empty' is also a good one... It's just Wellington noticing that over the centuries the stars have been less visible (because of light pollution babyyyyyyyyyyyy) and since stars was how people find their way in the past, he now has lost his way in life, Something Something
That's all I have to say about titles. I just woke up.
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manchesterau · 4 years
Text
my thoughts after reading my policeman: SPOILERSS of course!! (ignore spelling or grammar mistakes) (this is very ramble-y and not as in depth as it could have been sorrryyy lol, if you want specifics send me an ask after reading this)
okay...so i read the book in 3 days....which....im very proud of myself bc it takes me so long to finish books but that’s not why you are reading this.
im not going to lie to you...i liked the book. i love angst, and this had plenty of it and i liked it. if you like books such as: harry potter, six of crows, red queen, red white and royal blue you will not like this book. i know many people found it boring, which yeah i can see that, but i didn't find it boring at all. but mostly because i love boring books but that's beside the point. 
the book flowed easily, there isn't a bunch of raunchy sex scenes that ive seen people say it has (i...the things ive read idk what book they even read????) and Tom does has backward views on marriage and what it means to be a wife. but he is not overtly sexist or misogynist or abusive, or subvertly those things either. to be frank he's a scared gay man in the 50s trying to not get caught and thrown in jail. that's literally it. (ill go more into detail on him later). but if you want to read this book i recommend you go in knowing that there will be homophobia (the word queer is used as a slur....3 times or 4 but no more than 5), expect outing, expect not supportive characters, and remember to have some compassion (more on this later).
next i want to go into characters: starting with tom, then Marion, then Patrick, and then the other characters. so if you are planning on reading this book or just dont want to be spoiled them....don't read the next bit.
Tom:
I'm going to get this out of the way.........Tom (who we never get to know outside of the two-point of views we are presented with, and who is being played by Harry) is a police officer in the 50s UK. to be frank when the rumors first went around I was mad like a lot of people were, which is funny because when we got those pictures of harry reading the book before all the speculation we were....happy, that he was reading a book about a gay man. now...I don't care honestly. I could call out the hypocrites (i won't) and honestly I'm hypocritical myself. I use to watch shows like svu (if you were to turn it on right now I wouldn't turn it off) and I enjoyed watching svu. I know and have seen a lot of mutuals, people on my dash enjoy cop shows like b99, or who like actors who have played the character of police before. so it would be hypocritical of me to be mad at him (this is just my single black opinion) and then go and turn on svu (which I don't do anymore). 
I'm not saying that no one can be mad, I'm not saying that the anger people have at him playing this role is bad or not needed or valid. all I'm saying is.....is that I don't care. I got angry over this months ago, and all that anger I felt I don't have anymore, and I can't tell you why. Harry is playing an abusive demented husband who traps his wife in a simulation, and then he will play a gay policeman trying not to face persecution..........and that's that. nothing I can say will reach him, he's playing these roles and there is nothing I can do. will I watch them (pirating of course) yes.
anyways let's get back to tom's character (do not use my opinion to silence other black people I will find you....don't do that shit weirdo): tom is......tom?? like I literally was expecting the worst when I read this because of what other people had to say. but as I'm reading him through the eyes of Marion (his wife) and through the eyes of Patrick (his...true love, fuck the 50s I hate the 50s) one word came to mind constantly: scared. Tom is very scared that he will be found out and his life will be ruined. His family knows about him, which is why I think his father (more on him later) pushed him to be in the national service (where he was a cook, which disappointed him). you don't realize his family knows and then his sister says something and then you go 'wait....THEY KNEW???' and then you will go 'oh so that's why-' 
tom does have old fashion views that you would expect of any man at that time (gay or not it's the 50s and gay men are still capable of saying sexist shit). when asked by Patrick if women should still work after having a kid he said no it's the men's job to provide, Marion said she would like to keep working, he said no when they do have a baby (they literally never did, and idk why he thought he could be intimate with her for that long to produce a baby lol). that's....the most sexist thing he said in the whole book (there maybe some small things im forgetting but nothing that really stood out). that's it. I know it's not small and that was a legitimate issue in the 50s but yeah. Just in case you were apprehensive about Tom's character being a raging woman-hater, no,....he just wasn't a true feminist yet (???? I don't know that's like..the most this book says about an issue women were facing at this time). It's still bad what he said (you'll see how Marion justifies it in the book and both Patrick and her don't agree and try and challenge him on his view).
i dont want to go too in depth but it is very obvious from the beginning he has no and i mean ZEROOOO interest in her at all (you can tell when it hits him that he needs a wife and he starts to act a littleee different but it's not romantic at alll). 
i feel like my review on tom is shit but like!! we don't really get to know him without bias from Patrick and Marion. I think Harry will play a wonderful Tom (even tho he doesn't not fit the description for Tom...at all....like at alllll).
To summarize Tom: very scared gay man from the 50s who is trying to do everything he can to not be found out. his family knows, even he knew at a young age, and yes he does quit being a police officer but it doesn't happen as soon as id like but then again he wasn't one for that long if you pay attention to the years.
Marion:
😑 
i just...if yall could see the notes i made on her.....
To summarize Marion: SHE IS LIVING IN LALA LAND, TOM LITERALLY SHOWS HER NO ROMANTIC INTEREST AT ALLL, AND WHEN SHE METS PATRICK FOR THE FIRST TIME SHE FREAKING NOTICES THAT HE'S ALL BLUSH-Y AND SHIT LIKE...GIRL.....
this is a note i wrote that sums up her and tom's relationship (which is more like friends then anything romantic i mean god their honeymoon was horrible and he proposed to her....nvm 😑)
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listen...i can't lie and say i didn't feel sorry for her up until the end when she (spoilers: she outs patrick to his employer which ends up with him getting arrested). after that...ive never hated a character more in my fucking LIFEEEE like oh my god i was pissed
all she does is have fantasies about him being romantic with her (holding hands, hugging, etc) and none of them come true...BECAUSE HES GAYYYYYY i really....the author could have done a better job because there were so many damn red flags.
she's fucking annoying and whiny and yeah it sucked to be a woman in the 50s but you literally outed someone your husband was in love with and thought that you could just go back to being married like he's not devastated and instead of telling what you did you stayed unhappy and made your husband thing that at any point they were coming for him too.......*****
Patrick:
PATRICKKKKK
Patrick and tom deserved a fighting fucking chance i hate the fuck 50s fuck you 50s!!!! I absolutely LOVEDDD his pov and seeing Tom through his pov like it was just so damn refreshing seeing the world through his eyes and how he navigates his queerness in the society they live in. (the dichotomy between a proud gay man and a scared maybe proud but fear overrules that (talking about Tom here) gay man).
There was a lot more to say on how gay men were being persecuted at this time than how women were treated in this particular book. There were some little things here and there about what was expected of Marion as a wife and of a girl/woman at that time but it wasn't the focus.
I loved seeing the way Patrick navigated through his world of art and creativity. And how Tom seemed to fit right in with him.
I hate the things the author made Patrick go through (outed, sent to prison, stripped of his job, and later on in the present day he has had 2 strokes in his 70s). it felt a bit much but it's not too distracting (Patricks pov takes place in the past as he writes in his journal). 
Patrick and Julia (more on her later) are my two favorites in the whole book (Tom is third bc he's a very multi-facted character, Marion is not even on the list) and I wish we got a lot more of Patrick's pov.
Other characters!! (speed round bc this is wayyy too long):
Syvlie (Tom's sister): SYVLIEEE IM MAD AT YOUU I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WHYY WHYYY
Julia: JULIAAAAA QUEEENNN (you'll see why i love her at the end) 
Tom's parents: his father is abusive point-blank. or at least i think he's abusive (verbally). as im writing this i am now realizing that the way Tom's mom reacts to him (sometimes crying) is bc they knew he was gay omg wow.
tom's dad is very much a man's man guy?? Picture a sexist man from the 50s....now picture him with a gay son.....yeah, I'm not surprised Tom went into national service then to the police force. you can tell he didn't want anyone to find out about Tom so he pushed him to do what he thought best and Tom went with it, scared. 
overall: please do not go into this book expected things to be all flowers and rainbows...this is a book about two gay men in the 50s yall.....
there is something to be said about the tragedy that is in a lot of queer stories, I'm more interested in how white these stories are (that's a rant for another time). but I don't mind my policeman, and i think stories like this should be told. because this actually happened (here is a link to em forster's story where the author takes inspiration from, he really had an affair with a policeman!!! who had a wife!!!).
the ending is bittersweet, and i couldn't help but curse for what could have been. Marion could have not outed Patrick (which she instantly regretted), she could have gotten a divorce (she even contemplated it), they could have been more secretive, Julia could have not said what she said. I think Patrick and Tom were sadly doomed from the start, I just wish they had more time together because I loved seeing their love (the little glimpse we got) bloom into something bigger than them.
thank you for reading!! here are random screenshots of my notes as i read this lol enjoy!!
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can’t*
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awhst-alt · 3 years
Text
I HAD THE BEST BYLER DREAM LAST NIGHT AND I REALLY WANNA SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL
it's so long (literally 2k words) so im gonna put it under the cut haha <3
so basically this would take place after mike and will start dating or something, idk exactly the time frame (i picture them being like 18 or something and this is the summer before college) and will goes to this summer arts program for like 2/3 months (i dunno how long american summer is but something like that) and its all the way far from home so there is dorms and stuff and he's "not in hawkins anymore" (no pun intended)
mike and will decide after will finishes his school they'd go to college together (cuz they're gonna be comic book artists together bc thats boyfriend shit) so throughout these months he's practically just waiting for will (<333333)
so one specific scene i remember from my dream involved will and mike getting off the bus to the school and then they hug and then mike grabs wills hand and brings him behind the bus and then he gives will a biggg kiss bc he won't be able to kiss him for 3 months. then they say they love each other and will gives him another quick kiss and is like "two kisses". they agree they'd call each other every day.
so will goes inside and mike goes back on the bus and goes home.
and basically the whole day is a whirl, until the end of it, in which mike is sitting in the kitchen near the phone waiting for like 3 hours for will to call, and will doesn't end up calling.
AND THEN IT GETS SPICYYYYY
so meanwhile at the arts program will asks like the front desk or something if he can call mike and they say phone is offlimits and they don't let him call mike
so then will goes to sleep and he's paranoid that he thinks mike is gonna hate him or something like that
mk than the next day in class there is this girl (they didn't reveal her name in the dream, ill call her stella) so stella is basically looking at will the entire class but will doesn't know it
so when they exit the class stella's like "hi" and will says "hi"
then stella says "i like your painting."
will is like rlly weirded out so he goes "thanks?"
"i um- hope this doesn't sound weird but i have no friends, do you want to be mine?"
"sure"
and then end of scene (this does not sound like a normal conversation but it's my dream so it doesn't have to make sense"
so BACK AT HAWKINS mike is still sleeping even tho it's like 3 pm because yk depressed boyfriend shit but then the PHONE RINGS and mike gets out of bed frantically and goes to the phone and he picks it up and is like "will?" and then it answers "it's el, idiot"
i feel like this is important for context but el speaks english very well now and hoppers back and she lives with hopper and not the byers anymore. ANYWAYS
el says "how's will?"
mike says "idk he didn't call"
"he didn't?"
"no, he didn't"
"okay. well maybe he will call later"
"yeah mb"
"wanna come over"
"ok"
so mike hangs up and gets changed and goes to el's house bc they r a couple o' besties and when he gets there it's like a therapy sessions bc mike usally talks to will every single day and he can't for like 3 months (unless will calls, but he's not going to) so he accepts he's gonna be depressed for 3 months and he's just talking to el about how he's gonna miss him so much and no be able to see his face and that shit
so el's like "well do u wanna do something to take ur mind off of him"
and mike's like "no im not gonna replace will" (I SCREAMED IN MY DREAM SRSLY)
but than el says "okay. guess im gonna go to the mall by myself" (ig starcourt is rebuilt by now)
and than mike bolts up and is like "fine"
"we can by something for will"
"okay yay"
so then they go to starcourt yasss!!
anyways back at the art school will is having lunch and stella is with he friends (even tho she said she doesn't have any friends) and one of her friends is like "omg did you see _____ he's so hot"
and another friend says "YESS! but ____ is cuter"
"what abt u stella? who do u have ur eyes on"
she says "byers" BUT NOOOOOOO WILL IS MIKES MAN
and they say "ew that kid who came back to life"
she says "yea. but he's cute, and shy, and once i wrap them around my finger i can get them to do anything"
so then she goes to sit down next to will at lunch
"hi will"
"hi"
"hru"
"im good"
"okay. good." and she gets upset because will goes ask how she is but she keeps her urging rage inside. and than they have this weird conversation and will is uncomfortable the whole time bc shes all like flirting with him and will is seeing someone obvi
but then she puts a hand on will's shoulder and he's shaking and then says something (idk what it is it wasn't explaining in my dream) then will stands up and runs to the bathroom. so he's just sitting in the stalls crying.
okay back at starcourt this part wasn't shown in my dream but im just gonna make up that mike and el go looking around starcourt for something for will (sort of like the mike/lucas/will montage where they were looking for stuff for el) and then i guess they find something for will and i don't have the slightest idea what they could have got for him BUT THEY GOT HIM SOMETHING GOOD
so mike's all happy but they'res still that depression inside of him lol
so fast forward a week, it really isn't explained but ill just make up that will still hasn't called mike, and he's super sad and all sleeping in but decides to look through his good ol binder full of will's drawings and in the arts school will and stella have a few more interactions im sure which are still very uncomfortable
okay so it's lunch again in the cafeteria and somehow will and stella are talking again but somehow it ends in stella kissing will and will like pulls away immediatley and is like "what is wrong with you!?"
and she says "what?"
"i'm seeing someone!"
"oh i uh- i didn't know."
the whole cafeteria is staring at them
so will's freaking out almost on the verge of a panic attack "idk what to do, he's gonna hate me and-"
"he?"
will has the look on his face like shit shit shit oh fuck no
"you're gay?"
"i-"
and will runs off once again. and everyone in the whole cafeteria knows that he's day and ofc with everybody being homophobic will knows it's not good at all bc everyone's gonna bully him
so then the next day he goes to class and the teacher is like "does anyone care to tell me where ___ is?" (it would be like a math question like 'where x is' but in art idkkk) and then the teacher calls on "will? can you tell me where ___ is?" and they'res a pause and then the teacher says "or perhaps you'd want to find your boyfriend instead?" (giving me anne with an e vibes prolly cuz i did a rewatch last weekend but i won't explain more in case some people haven't watched it but) anyways will stands up from his seat, everyone is looking at him, and he's shaking and so concerned but then he goes "fuck. you" badass will yeaaaa thats my boy
so then he runs out of the classroom and out of the school in a really cool montage way but then he realizes he's like 2 hours away from home but he runs and runs and he goes to a random bustop (it's not even garanteed if it takes him to hawkins but whatever) he gets on and tries to go back to hawkins.
and soon enough, he gets there, and immediatley goes to the wheelers because he needs to see mike and apologize for everything. so he's at the wheelers, and rings the doorbell, realizing he's still in his uniform lol but karen answers and mike is upstairs in his room sulking (i picture it would be 8 pm by now) so will asks for mike and karen calls mike. mike groans obviously because he doesn't know it's his boy, but he comes down, karen gets out of the way and as soon as he sees will they have a really big hug and it's super sweet and my heart UFHEIOSKA
mike says his usual "are you okay?" and mike is still confused as shit but will says "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry" and mike says "you don't have to be sorry for anyrhing" but will says "ill explain"
so then they go to will's room, side-by-side on his bed and will starts explaining everything
(this is mostly improvised by me but it's still pretty similar to the dream)
"i hated it."
"the school?"
"yeah. there was no you, (mike blushes lmao), everything was terrible, i felt so lonely, they didn't let me call you-"
"what?"
"they said the phone was off limits. i wanted to talk to you so bad and i thought you'd hate me"
"i could never hate you, will, even if i tried." will smiles
"and then there was this girl, and she hit on me and i didn't know what to do bc i'd be the face of the school if i told her i was dating you and was gay and today she kissed me"
"WHAT"
"im sorry im sorry i didn't kiss back and i was so scared bc i never was in a relationship before and i was so scared it was considered cheating-"
and mike LAUGHSS
"what? mike? what's wrong?"
"if you don't do anything back, it's not considerd 'cheating'"
"oh. good. are you mad at me?"
"what? no! no never!" so mike opens his arms and says "come here" so will and mike hug or something like that and then mike says "do you need me to beat her up?"
and will says "you can't even beat eggs. besides, your noodle arms wouldn't be able to do harm to even a fly"
so mike laughs and says "i'm glad your home"
so will blurts "i cursed out a teacher"
"you? cursing?"
"yes."
"might have to start calling you a bad boy now"
will just smiles and says "i love you"
and mike says "i love you too"
AND THEN END AND IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF BC I LOVE THIS DREAM LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BRAIN THOUGHT OF THIS BUT IM OBSESSED
ALSO ONCE I FINISH WYBMFFAE ILL PROBABLY WRITE THIS INTO A FULL BLOWN FIC BUT AHIHFUSAH
edit: i have no idea what mike did with the present him and el bought for will but i guess they ended up giving it to him lol
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peaches-writes · 4 years
Text
a hundred days of seo - of all places (pt. 1)
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member: changbin but this part is dedicated to besties hyunlix bc i said so  wc: 1.2k genre: fluff, angst, enemies to lovers au, roommates to lovers au, childhood friends to lovers au, neighbor au, college au, eventual friends to lovers au, slow burn, some besties seunghyunlix action hehe chapter warnings: explicit language, mentions of alcohol note: anon! the roommates part comes later pinky promise!
readers choose the adventure game! mechanics | requests checklist & series masterlist 
parts: prologue | part 2 (coming soon!) 
“If you guys really love me—” You groan exaggeratedly with furrowed brows, climbing up your wonkiest living room chair with a broom in your hand and violently tapping the ceiling with its handle end. In front of you, your two best friends are quick to approach closer with their hands outstretched in your direction in surprise and worry—Hyunjin, in particular, going as far as letting out a dramatic cry for you to come down which you simply ignore in your annoyance. “If you idiots care about my well-being, you wouldn’t go to this stupid party or, better yet, you would’ve made him take it somewhere else in the first place!” 
“But it’s Changbin’s birthday! As much as you’re our friend, he’s also our friend.” Felix pouts, cautiously taking two more steps closer to you and placing his hands around the chair’s head rest to steady you. “And it’s not that wild this time, just close friends!”
You fiercely glare down at the younger boy, making him gulp and flinch. Gesturing up to your ceiling and the muffled rock music, you then ask, “This is ‘just close friends’? Whatever, I don’t care! I need to study in peace and this isn’t helping me at all!” You protest, hitting the ceiling a few more times for good measure before jumping down the chair. Felix jumps as well and tightens his grip on the chair, scolding you under his breath for being reckless while Hyunjin finally beelines closer to your side and asks you if you’re okay. “Ya, Hwang Hyunjin, don’t you need to study too? We’re in the same Lit class!” 
“We’ve been studying the whole day, dumbass. We’ve literally studied the whole syllabus down for today! Tsk. Chill...” He points out, dusting off the imaginary dirt off of your pajamas in between warning you not to jump off chairs again. “Anyway, why don’t you just go with us? I saw the invite on your DMs! Just swipe a drink and go or something. You look like you need it—“
You redirect your glare at him who doesn’t waver, clearly your longer friend between him and Felix. “I have other things to do and we’re not friends. That jerk and I, I mean.” You grit stubbornly between your teeth. “He’s just stuck to me like a leech because of you two and Seungmin.”
“What’s worse is that he’s my neighbor starting this semester,” You quickly add before Hyunjin could argue back with another one of his bratty remarks. “I’ve seriously had enough of this guy. I’m definitely not giving myself more headache to go on his stupid birthday party!”
“But it’s free drinks?” Felix tries this time with a raised brow, making you slap a hand to your forehead.
“No. I already told you: the drinks aren’t worth it if it’s him offering.” You shake your head firmly, groaning and rolling your eyes when the muffled music intensifies above your heads as if in dramatic cue. 
“Why aren’t you even friends in the first place?” Hyunjin huffs, crossing his arms as if challenging you. “Seungmin won’t say anything, Changbin always changes the subject, and you’re always mad whenever we do as much as inhale to say Changbin’s name.”
The question sets you off even more, making you groan. “Just because! I really don’t like him, that’s all you need to know!” Sighing in defeat, you then push the two away from you and towards the direction of your door. “Ugh, I guess you three have chosen to be traitors to me tonight. Say hi to Seungmin for me if he turns up, I guess. He hasn’t dropped by so he’s probably gonna be late from tutoring or something. Damn it...” 
“Y/N!!!” The two pout at the same time, not even making efforts to stop you from pushing them across the floor and out of your mini communal area.
“Don’t be mad, please.” Felix adds with his best puppy eyes.
“We’ll tell Changbin to turn it down, then, swear!” Hyunjin adds after, nodding along with Felix in agreement. “And we’ll be civil tonight! Less drinks for us and no drunk stopovers here later, promise—“
“You said that a month ago at Changbin’s housewarming part 1 then two weeks ago at Changbin’s housewarming part 2. Not to mention when you stupidly stopped by my house drunk off your ass both ti—“
“Yeah, yeah, but that’s why Felix’s gonna remind me this time! Geez, Y/N.” Hyunjin frowns, flicking your forehead before pushing himself off of you and walking to the entrance on his own. “But swear, it’ll be as quiet as the campus library in a moment! We’ll really tell Changbin!”
“I wouldn’t even count on it at this point.” You sigh, directing Felix down to your apartment entrance to retrieve his shoes. “Just go, get out of my house. Happy birthday, Changbin or whatever.”
“You want us to pass that along?” Felix’s eyes immediately brighten optimistically while yours blow comically wild in disagreement. As you open your mouth to protest against it, the boy then wears his shoes back on and makes a run for your door. “Okay, Y/N, I’ll text you later what he’ll say!”
“Felix, no!” You call out for him helplessly, approaching Hyunjin who follows along haphazardly. “Ya! Ya! You fucking traitors!”
The music surprisingly quiets down when you hear Hyunjin’s loud voice upstairs three minutes later. 
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The soft ping of your phone over an hour later reminds you of the pain seeping up your neck from looking down on your notes, making you reposition yourself in front of your work desk as more follow in quick succession. Picking up your phone, you immediately hold it away from your lamp as the screen brightens with each message from your best friend. 
seungmo: how’s the party? 
seungmo: running v late! 
seungmo: im walking to ur place now tho !!!
seungmo: soojin gave me a headache today w her homework 😭😭
seungmo: but yeah u & changbin aren’t killing each other yet right? 
seungmo: pls don’t
Sighing, you quickly cap your pen in your other hand and type in a quick reply. 
y/n: i didn’t go
y/n: i actually feel even better now that i didn’t seeing as you still aren’t there
seungmo: why not? 
seungmo: i thought you were coming???
seungmo: that’s why i’m coming? 
seungmo: dude we talked abt this 
seungmo: ur like neighbors now it’s rude if u don’t greet him at least once
seungmo: & u opened the DM from jisung too so???
y/n: y would i go? i hate changbin
y/n: doesn’t mean we’re neighbors now means that i have to greet him we can just co-exist until he gets kicked out or something
When Seungmin uncharacteristically doesn’t lecture you over text about being civil and polite right after, you set your phone down with a scoff on the quick conclusion that he’s probably caught up with crossing the street or the lack of cell service on your building elevator. Sinking in your chair, you look up to the ceiling once, threatening to shake with the heavy bass reverberating from its other side, and heave a long sigh. 
Of all places, you think to yourself in frustration as you then proceed to close your books and notebooks with a sudden migraine creeping up from the back of your head. Of all places, he just had to move here! 
You look over your phone once more as you then stand up from your seat and finish clearing your desk, frowning when no more messages pop up. 
The intercom across the hall, however, decides ping after. 
@skzwriternet
m.list
readers choose the adventure game! mechanics | requests checklist & series masterlist | prologue | part 2 (coming soon!)
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machine-gun-casie · 4 years
Text
Almond Poppy Seed Muffins
you’re hired to help with the menu at colson’s new cafe and the lines of employer and employee quickly blur.
wc: 6k (!!!)
-
“Sit up, man.” Slim knocked Colson upside the head. “Menu person’s coming.”
Colson groaned and lifted his head off of the one table in the unopened cafe. “Tell me again why we booked this meeting for eight in the fucking morning.”
“Because it’s professional.” Slim whispered as the creak of the door echoed in the empty area. “Now sit the fuck up.”
You walked over with your shoulders back and your head held high, looking as professional as possible. Colson’s eyes were comically wide as he watched you approach the table. Your confidence was coming off in waves and Colson couldn’t help but be attracted to it.
Slim stood up. “Hi, you must be y/n.” He smiled at you and reached out to shake your hand. You smiled back and Colson immediately forgot he was hungover. 
“Yeah, I am. You’re the one who talked to me on the phone?” 
“That was me. I’m the manager. You can call me Slim.” Slim pulled back his hand and patted Colson on the shoulder. “This is Kel-”
“I’m Colson.” Colson shot up and shoved his hand in your direction. ”I’m the owner.”
“Thank you guys for calling me in.” You smiled at him this time and Colson almost fell back into his chair. 
“Thank you for coming. Let’s get started, shall we?” Slim said, sitting back down and both you and Colson followed. “We were hoping this could be a collaborative effort, because we want the menu to be unique to us and have some personal touches.” Colson looked at Slim with furrowed eyebrows, he’s never met this version of Slim before.
“Yes, of course. I’ve only got some basic items on my list, I wanted to sit down with you before we get into the trial phase. If there’s anything specific you wanted on the menu, or anything specific you don’t want, we can get that out of the way now.” You pulled out a tablet as you spoke, entering the password and opening your notes.
“There’s only a few items that we really want on the menu, but the rest is up to you.” Slim nodded as you took note of his words on your tablet. “What do you have so far?”
“I’ve got some basic avocado toast, bagels, and breakfast paninis.” You explained, showing them some pictures you had saved. “I’ve been to the surrounding cafes and seen the staples, but I wanted this place to have some unique staples of its own. So I added mini bacon tacos and almond poppy seed muffins.”
Colson’s eyes lit up. “Oh my god, I love almond poppy seed muffins! I was just going to tell you to add them to the menu.”
“No way, I love them too!” You beamed at him. “They’re so underrated. Everywhere I look for them, all I find is lemon poppy seed.”
Colson didn’t know how to respond, he just couldn’t believe he made you smile. Before the silence got awkward, Slim cleared his throat. “Bacon tacos? Are those tacos with bacon?”
“No, they’re bacon taco shells. Made them mini because full sized could get expensive in the long run.” You said, showing him a picture. “I’ve seen them online, but never in cafes and never here. Could definitely bring in some customers, everyone loves bacon.”
“Yeah, for sure. I don’t think I’ve seen those around here before. There’s also some things we need to have on the menu.” Slim said, looking over at Colson.
“Yeah, we need blueberry pancakes and cheese eggs.”
“And do you have any ideas for their names on the menu.” You asked, typing away.
“The pancakes are gonna be Casie’s Weekend Special, C-A-S-I-E. With whipped cream and berries on top.” You nodded and he continued. “And Champ’s Cheesy Eggs for the eggs. Oh, and we also got these special coffee beans coming in next month for a specific cold brew. I want it to be called Cold Brew but with the C-O-L in capital letters.”
“That’s just for it’s name on the menu, right? Because I don’t do coffee stuff.” You asked for clarification.
“Yeah, yeah for sure. I’m making that myself, no need to worry about it.” Colson said.
“Okay, good. Is that it?” You asked as you typed.
“We might add some more later, but you don’t need to worry about that right now.”
“Alright, I’ll start the trial phase this week. I’ll test out the recipes and all that. When I’ve polished everything off, we can do some taste testing.”
“How long do you think you’ll take to finish?” Slim asked.
“You should get a call in about a week or two.” 
Slim smiled and nodded. “Perfect, we’re set to open in a few months.”
“I’ll have enough time to train the staff before then.”
“Great, it’s been a pleasure doing business with you.”
“The pleasure’s all mine.” You pulled out two business cards and put them on the table, one in front of Slim and one in front of Colson. “This is my business card, in case you need to contact me.”
Colson could have sworn your gaze lingered on him for a second longer than it did on Slim. 
This was not a business card he was going to throw away. No way.
-
The buzzing of your phone pulled you away from your laptop. You were up all night researching and hearing the notification finally pulled you out of the rabbit hole.
It took a while to find your phone in all the blankets on your bed. But when you finally did, the notification that was on your lock screen was not something you were expecting.
Colson requested to follow you on Instagram. 
Woah. Unexpected. 
You opened your phone and accepted his request and followed him back.
- verified?
C- what can i say im a rockstar
- hahaha
- seriously tho, why?
C- u really dont know?
- nope. enlighten me
C- im a rapper
- no way! i work for a rapper now?
C- i guess you do haha
So your night that started off with researching recipes quickly turned into a night researching Machine Gun Kelly.
Song after song and interview after interview, you wondered how you spent your life not knowing of Machine Gun Kelly’s extensive career. You couldn’t say that you had never heard the name before, but this was way more than you expected.
-
Your Instagram seemed to pick up on your search history, so your explore page was only memes about your boss from the moment you googled his name.
You weren’t sure you could look him in the face the next time you saw him, something about two nines on his waist. 
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(creds: @ticketstomydownfall​)
- how come you never told me your full name?
C- sorry it just never came up, i never meant to keep it from you
C- i hope you understand
- it’ll take me a while, but im hurt you didn't tell me
And so it began, every time you took a break from menu research you would send memes back and forth. You would send Colson cooking memes he wouldn’t get and he would send you musician memes you wouldn’t get. A healthy balance, you joked. 
But your favorites had to be the Machine Gun Kelly memes. 
-
A new cafe opened a few streets down from Colson’s unopened one, so he decided to check out the competition. He stood in line and read the menu. He perked up when he saw the place had poppy seed muffins in their display. It kind of worried him because he wanted them to be his cafe’s thing, but he wouldn’t mind having one right now.
“Hi! What can I get you, sir?”
“Can I get a cold brew and one of those muffins please?” Colson pointed at the basket of muffins.
“The poppy seed?” Colson nodded and the barista reached over and picked one up.
“Are those almond or lemon?”
“These are almond poppy seed muffins, they’re here for a limited time only. Don’t think we’ll have them back anytime soon.”
The barista put the muffin in a paper bag and instructed Colson to wait by the pick up area. As he waited, he pulled out his phone and sent you a picture of the muffin.
C- new place got almond! poppy seed muffins
C- for a limited time only tho, we in the clear
Ever since you started texting, you had told him not to expect any fast responses. Your sleep schedule was all over the place because you ‘work best at night’ is what you told him. The menu was coming up fast and you told Colson to expect some taste testing soon.
So when he got a response from you within seconds, he was confused. He wasn’t complaining, that’s for sure. It just wasn’t like you.
- look in the corner
He looked up and saw you in the corner looking right at him with your phone in your hands. You laughed when you made eye contact and beckoned him over. He pointed towards the barista and you nodded. 
As soon as his cold brew was in his hands, he dashed over to you. 
“Well, well, well.” Colson smirked, sitting down across from you. “I see you fixed your sleep schedule.”
“Kinda. Just for today.” You smiled. He didn’t know if you always smiled or if you always smiled around him. Colson liked to think it was the latter. “You checkin’ out the competition?”
“Yeah, so are you. What do you think of the muffins?” Colson asked.
“Mine are better.” You shrugged.
“Gotta try ‘em first before I agree.”
“In time.”
-
It had been two weeks since you saw Colson at the cafe. You ended up staying there for a few hours, time seemed to fly by with him. You gushed about the flourishing menu to him and he smiled and nodded. You knew his appreciation towards the topic wasn’t at your level, but he encouraged you to keep going. ‘I like hearing you talk’ were his exact words.
You were a blushing mess by the end of the night. Some insinuations were made and you could definitely tell that he was as into you as you were into him. And you were willing to tease the possibility.
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- im not considered an assistant, am i?
C- you could be if you wanted
- i think assisting with the cafe could be considered an assisting position
C- id be inclined to agree
-
Colson needed to get away. He needed out right the fuck now.
He couldn’t bear staring at his bedroom ceiling any longer. The demons in his head were louder than ever and he needed an escape. 
Closing the door gently, he made sure not to make any loud noises so as to not wake anyone in the house. He got into his car and drove off. He had no clue where he was going, he just knew he was going.
He found himself parked in front of his cafe after a few minutes, not knowing how he got there or how he decided this was the place to escape to. He did have the keys on him. He could just head in, put together a couple of those tables that came in the other day and do something with his hands. Anything to get his mind to shut up for a little while.
The click of the keys turning in the lock sent a shiver up his spine. He made sure to lock the door behind him just in case. The thought of someone already being there never even crossed his mind.
Until he heard something from the back. The kitchen.
The kitchen was fully finished a week ago, decked with all kinds of high tech equipment. Worth a shit ton of money. Did Colson really just stumble into a robbery? Of his own fucking cafe?
He stomped over to the kitchen, fully prepared to beat someone up. 
So when he saw you dancing around in a flour covered tank top and shorts with music blasting in your headphones, he had to take a step back.
You screeched when you saw him at the door. “Holy fuck!” Colson laughed as you bent over and put a hand to your chest, taking your headphones out. “My heart just fucking dropped into my ass!”
“I thought you were a robber. I was ready to throw hands.” Colson said nonchalantly as he strode over to you.
“I thought you were going to murder me! What are you doing here? I could have sworn I locked the door.”
“You did.” Colson nodded.
“Shit, right.” You chuckled. “Owner, sorry I forgot.” You pointed at him.
“What are you doing here?”
“I asked first.” You shot back at him.
“Right, right.” He nodded and looked down. “Needed to get away. Found myself here.”
He hated the way your eyes softened at his words, he didn’t need pity or help or someone to fucking ask him if he ‘wants to talk it out’. But you didn’t say any of those things, and he really should have known. You were different.
“I told you. I work best at night. Slim gave me the key last week so I can utilize this amazing kitchen.” You motioned to the high tech equipment around you. “Muffins are almost done, actually.”
“Poppy seed?”
“Mhm, about six minutes left. But I got some pancakes right here, if you wanna try some?” You asked, picking up a plate stacked high with blueberry pancakes.
Colson nodded and took the plate out of your hands. You handed him a fork and he cut himself a bite. 
He brought it to his lips and paused, catching your hitched breath. “Don’t play with me! Just eat it!” You laughed, moving the fork into his mouth as he laughed at his stupid joke. His face was thoughtful as he chewed for a few moments. “Well?”
“It’s good.” He hummed. “Really good. But not better than Casie’s.”
“Doubt I can make it better than Casie’s when it’s her name on the menu.” You smiled. “She your girl?” 
The question slipped out before you could catch it. It was swirling around in your jealous head every time you saw the name in your notes. You weren’t exactly flirting with Colson these past few weeks, but if he had a girlfriend you would feel kind of guilty because you definitely caught feelings. 
Okay, you were definitely flirting. The whole assistant meme? For sure. And you were at least attracted to him. And with the way he has been looking at you, you knew he felt the same way.
“My daughter. It’s just me and her.” Colson smiled, knowing why you were asking and definitely not minding clearing that up for you. “She makes blueberry pancakes on the weekends for me. Best pancakes on the planet. Scratch that, in the fucking universe.”
“Aw shit, I can’t compete with that.” You chuckled. “Gotta try the best pancakes in the fucking universe some time.”
“For sure, I’ll bring her over when you finish up to try your stuff. Maybe you can take some pointers from her.”
“No offence to your daughter’s pancakes, but I think I’m good.” You chuckled. “This is my job and I’m damn good at it.”
“Alright, alright. No need to get feisty on me.” Colson laughed, putting his hands up in surrender. “My daughter’s pancakes will always be number one for me. You know how it is. She doesn’t know I’m putting her name on the menu, though.”
“Bet she’s gonna be so happy, I know I would be. I’ve always wanted my name on a menu.” 
Colson nodded and looked down at the counter that you were leaning against. Your phone, which was placed on the same counter, lit up with a notification that revealed your lock screen.
The notification wasn’t what caught Colson’s attention, the music that was playing did. “Are you- are you playing my music?”
“What?” You asked, your hand quickly darting to cover your phone. Colson laughed and pulled your hand away.
“No no no, I saw that.” He chuckled, grabbing the phone. “Loco? Not what I expected you to like, to be honest.”
You shrugged and pushed yourself away from the counter. “It’s got a good beat to whisk to.” You moved away from him and towards the oven and slipped on some mitts.
“The muffins are done? I didn’t hear a timer.”
“It’s all up here, pretty boy.” You smirked at him, tapping your finger against your temple. “If I leave them in any longer they’ll burn.” You explained, dropping the piping hot muffin tray onto the counter.
Colson’s hand slowly reached over to the tray, but you slapped it away before he could touch one. “Ay, they need to cool down! Still didn’t even finish them, man.” You huffed as you took off the oven mitts. You looked at him and saw him staring at you. “What?”
He just smiled his little cute ass smile and shook his head. “Nothing.”
“Don’t ‘nothing’ me. What is it? Do I have something on my face?” Your hand came up to wipe at your cheeks.
Colson held your wrist and pulled it away from your face. “No, you don’t have anything on your face. You just…”
“Just what?” You don’t know when you started whispering, but it felt like you had to. The moment, so fragile and intimate, you didn’t want to scare it away.
“You look really fucking cute right now.” Colson breathed out, his eyes not once leaving yours.
“You don’t just say that to a girl, Colson.”
“Who said I was just saying it?”
The moment lost its preciousness when Colson put his hand on the hot muffin tin. “Ah fuck!” He brought his hand up to his chest, cradling it.
“You’re so stupid, you know that?” You chuckled as you led him to the sink. “Come here, let me run some cold water on it.”
“Fuck me, I just ruined the moment, didn’t I?” He asked as he let you tend to his hand.
“A little, but you didn’t completely lose me.” You mused, teasing him. “I gotta put the glaze on the muffins, then you can have one.”
“There’s glaze!” He asked excitedly. “I fucking love the ones with the glaze on top.”
“I know.” You hummed, taking the bowl with the sugary glaze and spreading a little on each muffin. After you finished all of them, you went back to the first one you covered and popped it out of the tin. You held it up and brought it to Colson’s mouth. “Try it.”
He bit into and moaned almost sinfully at the flavor. That fucker knew what he was doing. 
“These are so fucking good.” Colson groaned.
“Damn right they are. You know how hard I worked on that recipe?” You exclaimed, proud the muffins came out as good as Colson made them seem to be.
“Really fuckin’ hard, I take it.” Colson replied. “Come here, you gotta taste it.”
Before you could take a bite out of the muffin, Colson put his finger under your chin and led your lips to his.
You pulled away a few seconds later, breaking the kiss. “You’re right, that tastes really fucking good.”
“You keep talking like that and I don’t think we’re gonna make it outta this place.” Colson smirked.
“The staff room’s got a couch.” 
-
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(Elvgren Brunette Pin-Up Girl “Let's Eat Out”)
C- you last night
- excuse me?
C- what?
C- ur the sexy muffin girl
- how dare you?
- i would never burn my muffins
C- dude
C- im tryna flirt with you here
- well try harder
Colson didn’t expect to walk into the cafe the next week with Slim and his daughter to see you wearing his shirt from that night. Casie was just excited to eat the food, so she didn’t notice. 
But Slim noticed. Colson coming home without a shirt wasn’t crazy. But you wearing said missing shirt? Yeah, he saw this coming. He smirked at Colson who tried to brush it off but his blushing cheeks betrayed him. Holy fuck, you had him blushing. What the fuck was he going to do with you?
You told them to sit tight while you brought out the plates. When you disappeared into the back, Colson mumbled something about going and helping you out.
“Nice shirt.” He smirked.
“Thanks, I got it from this guy.” You teased.
“This guy?” Colson raised his eyebrows at you as he picked up two plates.
“Yeah, tall lanky blonde dude. I don’t know if you know him, but he’s a rapper.” You smiled, expertly carrying four plates in your arms. “He’s verified on Instagram.”
Casie and Slim both watched with amused smirks on their faces as you and Colson walked out of the kitchen giggling. 
With you none the wiser, Colson mouthed ‘Shut up!’ at them. Slim snickered and Casie raised her hands up in surrender. You placed two small plates on each placemat, not aware of the conversation going on around you.
“First, we’ve got the mini bacon tacos.” You said, pointing at each plate. “The bacon shells are filled with a spinach and scrambled egg mixture with a few slices of fresh avocado.”
“Oh my god, dad! The tacos are made of bacon!” Casie exclaimed when she looked down at the plate. 
“Stop drooling and eat your food before I do.” Slim mumbled through a mouthful of bacon taco.
“Ay!” Casie shot Slim a look and used her hand as a shield against her taco. “Don’t you touch my food.”
“Then eat it!”
“I will, get off my back!”
“Hey!” Colson shouted, getting their attention. “No fighting in front of our guest!”
Slim and Casie looked up at you and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.” They apologized in unison and you fought hard to not let out a snort.
“It’s alright.” You giggled. “Do you like the tacos?”
Casie stuffed half the taco into her mouth and nodded. “Iss real goo’.”
Colson chuckled and wiped some avocado off his daughter’s face. “I think that’s the equivalent of three michelin stars.”
As everyone cleaned off their plates of all eggs and bacon, you remembered something you wanted to mention.
“Now, next are the blueberry pancakes. But before you guys dig in, Casie, I need to ask you something.” Casie perked up at your words. “Your dad told me that your pancakes are the best in the universe. And because this is his cafe, I would like it if he liked my pancakes too. So if you have any advice for me, I’m all ears.”
Casie looked between you and the pancakes for a moment. 
“I’m gonna guess that you don’t use the boxed stuff, right?” You nodded. “Alright, I’ve got one trick that I use. But you gotta promise not to tell anyone.”
You stuck out your pinky and nodded. “Pinky promise.”
“Pinky promise.” Casie looped her pinky with yours and smiled. “Y’all gotta shut your ears.” She said to Colson and Slim.
“But-”
“No buts!” She stopped Slim. “Shut your ears!” Casie watched her dad and uncle as they slowly covered their ears with their hands, confused and trying but failing to hold in their laughter.
“Alright, my trick is hazelnut milk. I use it instead of normal milk. Makes it kind of taste like Nutella, and Dad loves Nutella. And I add a teeny tiny bit of cardamom powder. The tiniest pinch. Made the recipe all by myself, so I better get credit.”
You smiled and made eye contact with her. “Trust me, you’re gonna get your credit.”
-
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C- my jaw still hasn't recovered
- shouldn’t that be my line?
C- remind me to never show anyone our texts ever in life
- noted
C- are you free tomorrow?
- yeah why?
C- meet me at the cafe at noon
C- theres something i wanna show u and casie
-
You smiled when you saw Colson and Casie approaching the cafe. You had gone to the store so as to not arrive too early, but you still beat them by a few minutes.
“Hey.” Colson smiled. “You brought stuff?”
“Yeah, just a few secret ingredients.” You nodded, holding the canvas bag behind your back. “If I show you, I have to kill you.”
“Can I see?” Casie asked.
“Of course.” You scoffed and winked at her.
“Hey! How come she can see but I can’t?” Colson asked incredulously. 
You shrugged and giggled. “Why are we here, Colson?” You asked, changing the subject. 
“Something came in today.”
“The coffee beans?” You asked, hoping you’d get a taste of his COLd brew. Yes, you told him it was stupid. No, he wouldn’t budge.
“Nope, the chalkboard.” He waggled his eyebrows at you.
Your eyes lit up. “For the menu?”
“Yup.”
“Dad, can I help? Please, I wanna do the border.” Casie pleaded.
“Of course, special girl.” Colson nodded at her. “You gotta help bring it out, though.” 
“Let’s get the chalkboard!” Casie jumped up and tried to open the door.
Colson told her to hold on, the door wasn’t unlocked. He pulled out his keys and turned the lock, opening the door wide enough for Casie to run inside.
“It’s in the back.” Colson called after her.
She ran past you both to the staff room.
“She’s cute.” You chuckled once she was out of earshot.
Colson walked into the cafe with you and closed the door behind him. “Yeah, she got it from me.”
Before you had time to reply, a resounding crash came from the back.
“Casie!” You both dashed to the back to see if she got hurt.
“I’m fine!” She said once you both walked into the room. Casie was fine, but the long cardboard box she was pulling was no longer upwards but flat on the floor. “I think I broke it, though.” She winced.
Colson sighed and dragged his hand down his face. “Case…“
You smiled at Casie to calm her down. “It’s alright, as long as you’re not hurt.” You approached her and pulled her into a side hug and observed the fallen box. “Let’s see the damage out in the front, come on.”
The box was pulled out by all of you to the front where you opened it and pulled out the chalkboard. The chalkboard that was once one piece was now distinctly two pieces.
Casie sighed dejectedly. “I broke it bad.”
“No, no. This is definitely not bad.” You reassured her and looked over at Colson to back you up.
“Yeah, princess. This is not bad.” He said, not really knowing why it was great but only playing along with you as to not make his baby girl feel bad. “Why is this not bad?”
You laughed and kneeled down to fully pull out the two broken pieces out of the box. “We can make it look intentional. See, the crack is going diagonally down the middle. You can do the border around each piece. It would look really cool.”
“That would actually look really dope.” Colson said as he finally understood what you were getting at. “None of the other places have anything like this.”
“See? Told you.” You nodded. “What would you do without me, huh?”
“I have no clue.” Colson mumbled as he knelt down to sit next to you. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to hear it, but you sure did. “Alright, y’all can do the border. Leave the rest to me.”
“You sure?” You asked, raising your eyebrows at Colson. “It’s gonna take you a while.”
“Yeah, I’m sure. You have everything written down somewhere?”
You nodded and pulled out your phone from your pocket. You opened up your notes app and handed it to him. “This is my latest draft for the final menu. Do with it what you wish.”
And so you got to work. Every time you tried to peek at what Colson was writing, he’d push you away and say it was a surprise. So you stuck to what he assigned you. The border took you and Casie no time, even after adding some doodles here and there and signing the bottom right corner.
“Dad?” Casie perked up.
“Yeah?” Colson asked, still focused on his penmanship.
“You good to finish it up?”
“Yeah, why?”
“y/n and I need to go to the kitchen.”
“You do?”
“We do?”
“Yes.” Casie nodded at you. “We do.” 
“Oh!” You smiled, remembering the bag you had brought with you. “We do!”
“Mhm.” Casie smiled sweetly at her dad and hopped up and headed towards the kitchen. “Come on, y/n! No time to waste.”
You giggled at her antics and shrugged at Colson. “No time to waste, I guess.” You grabbed your bag full of ingredients and followed the little sassy child to the kitchen.
You placed the bag on the counter and smiled at her. “So, how many do you wanna make?”
“Not many.” She shrugged as she helped you take out the ingredients. “Just a few to try out the recipe.”
“Good idea.” You nodded. “I changed my original recipe a little bit, added your suggestions and a few more things. That cardamom powder is a great addition, by the way.”
“Thanks!” Casie beamed. “So you’re a chef, huh?”
“Not exactly.” You mused as you pulled out the bowls and measuring equipment. “If we had to get technical, I guess my job is a menu curator. I help people make menus for their cafes or restaurants.”
“But dad said you make really good food.” Casie pointed out as she measured some dry ingredients into a large bowl. “Did you learn it by yourself or did you go to school for it?”
“A little bit of both.” You paused to help her not spill the flour and continued. “I’ve been to a few culinary schools, but only the ones that you attend for a few months. But I’ve always loved cooking.”
“So this must be your dream job, huh?”
“Yeah, I guess it is. You wanna crack the eggs?” You asked and handed her the eggs when she nodded. “What’s your dream job?”
“I’m not really sure, I’m only eleven.” She shrugged and threw out the egg shells. “But I really like the music industry. So probably something in that. Maybe a producer or something. I’ve helped out Uncle Slim on some of my dad’s stuff and it was fun.”
“No way! That’s really cool. I know nothing about the music industry, if I’m being honest.” You confessed.
“Did you know about Dad’s music?” She asked. You paused for a moment, knowing this was coming. Casie wasn’t stupid, she knew something was going on between you and her dad. She wanted to make sure you were right for him. And she was definitely not going to beat around the bush to find out.
“Not when I first met him. But he followed me on Instagram and I asked why he was verified and he told me.” You said.
“Oh.” Casie said, pausing to think of what to say next. “Okay.”
You looked at her and furrowed your eyebrows. “Okay?”
“Yeah. Okay.” She nodded as she poured out the hazelnut milk into a measuring cup. “I like you, y/n. And I know my dad likes you, too. If he didn’t think you were a good person, then I wouldn’t even be here.”
Pushing the bowl closer to her so the milk wouldn’t go on the counter, you stayed silent so she could continue. “And I know you were wearing his shirt the other day, which means my dad really likes you. But you gotta know that being with my dad comes with stuff not everyone likes. I know you like me, which is obvious because I’m amazing.”
“Yes, of course.” You nodded semi-seriously, giggling with her.
“But there’s also his music and the whole public thing, which gets weird sometimes.” Casie’s eyebrows rose as she spoke, indicating that she’s seen enough to know what she was talking about. “They say things and they lie and they might drag your name through the mud. But some people forget that the things they say only last for a news cycle.”
“You are wise beyond your years, Ms. Casie Baker.” You pointed at her. “I think meeting you has been the best part of working for your dad.”
-
A week later, Colson called you back to meet at the cafe. After making the pancakes with Casie, Colson refused to show you the menu. He insisted it still needed more work and that neither of you could see it until it was properly set up behind the front counter.
Both you and Casie moaned and groaned, telling him a little peak wouldn’t hurt. But he held his ground.
Walking up to the cafe, you saw that Colson and Casie beat you this time around. Colson was sitting down as Casie jumped around him, begging him to remove the white sheet hiding the chalkboard on the wall.
“Hey guys.” You said as you opened the door.
“y/n!” Casie called, running up to you. “Thank god you’re finally here! He made me wait this whole time.”
You looked up at Colson who was shaking his head. “We’ve been here for eight minutes.” He chuckled.
“That’s a whole four hundred and eighty seconds!” 
“Ay, that was some nice quick math!” Colson cheered and held his hand up for a high five. 
Casie slapped his hand and walked over to the menu. “Alright, she’s here. Can we please see the menu now?” She pleaded.
Colson sighed and nodded. He positioned you and Casie to stand in front of the board and placed your hands on your eyes. 
“On three, open your eyes.” Colson instructed as he held onto the white fabric. “One, two…”
You and Casie waited for him to continue only to hear him snickering. “Dad!”
“Alright, alright.” You heard the fabric fall to the floor. “Three!”
You gasped when you finally laid eyes on the long awaited finished menu. Colson somehow made all you and Casie’s little doodles crisper and more vivid. The border around both the pieces had some additional patterns here and there, obviously courtesy of Colson. Your eyes scanned the names of the menu items quickly, most of them already known to you from your notes.
“Casie’s Weekend Special?” Casie asked after a moment of silence, looking up at her dad. “No way! Are those the pancakes?”
“Yeah, you like it?” Colson smiled.
She giggled and jumped up to hug Colson. “I love it!”
“I told you you’d get your credit.” You smirked at her.
She climbed off her dad and gasped. “You knew?”
You nodded and she attacked you with a hug too. You laughed as you almost toppled over from the sudden embrace.
You continued reading the menu when Casie climbed off of you. You chuckled at the ‘Bomb A$$ Bacon Tacos’ and at the ‘COLd Brew’. You smiled when you read ‘y/n’s ALMOND poppy seed muffins’.
Wait what.
“Colson…”
“You said you’ve always wanted your name on a menu. Besides, it’s your recipe.” Colson stumbled back as you attacked him in a hug this time.
You sighed against the skin of his neck and whispered a soft ‘thank you’. You pulled back and stood there for a bit, just looking at his piercing blue eyes. How can someone’s eyes be so blue?
“Oh my god! Just kiss her already!” Casie exclaimed.
“Woah! Where did that come from, little lady?” Colson turned to look at Casie without letting you go.
“You guys are making major goo goo eyes at each other. Just kiss! I’ll cover my eyes, don’t worry.” She said, placing her hand over her eyes.
“I mean, she’s kinda-”
You cut him off by placing your lips against his. Casie giggled as she peeked between her fingers. Colson furrowed his eyebrows and groaned his disapproval into the kiss, waving his free arm at his daughter. 
You giggled against Colson’s lips and pulled his waving arm back. You pulled away and reached out one arm around Casie and dragged her into the embrace. “Your dad is a real romantic, Casie.”
“Thanks, I taught him well.”
“Yeah, you really did.”
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