#i don’t really like mustaches but Remus with one make me weak in the knees

[fyloune-taylorsversion]

That was so fun to create!!

[brandstifter-sys]

Kiss From A Rose

Word Count: 1469 (Ao3)

Pairing: Dukexiety

Rating: T

Warning: death mention

Hey look a fluffy song fic!

---

Some days the imagination was perfect with temperate weather and long sunsets. Remus' side was so full of wildlife of all shapes and sizes, from bats to dragons to ferrets to spiders. Virgil liked coming to this side, even if he wasn't exactly invited or welcome.

The grey castle sat on a seaside cliff, tall and imposing as it looked out to the ocean and over the kingdom. Virgil was wandering through the thinning forest closer to the base, taking in the cold air and barren trees under the overcast sky. If he were lucky, he would be able to get back to the warmth of his room without running into Remus. If he were really lucky, he would.

He neared the castle, crunching the long-dead leaves under his feet. It was bitter cold and he only had his hoodie for warmth. Virgil really shouldn't have come here and he knew that much. He scolded himself internally for daring to catch a glimpse of the duke. He didn't need to sneak around to see the side he used to call his best friend, but he wanted to see the Remus who wasn't performing. He wanted to see a pure Remus as he was, uncut by outside influence.

Yes, the duke was wild and bold around the others, but as Virge dodged a low-hanging branch, he couldn't help but think of the quiet, warm, loving duke who would rip off his fingers one by one for his friends and creations. He saw Remus playing with a three-headed dog, completely by accident, and he swore he was staring at a different side all together. It ignited some kind of kindling in Virgil's chest and he sought out more of those quiet moments.

The calm version of Remus was addicting, the rest of the time Virgil liked his company, even if he acted otherwise. He could lose himself in thought, picturing the trashman. Virgil did, choosing to focus on the man's variety of smiles that lit up his face and highlighted his cheek bones. He could get mesmerized by those giggles and adorable wiggles.

He didn't realize that he was at the castle door, knocking. He didn't come back from his trip into his thoughts when the gaudy oak door creaked open.

"Millie I told you, stay on Ro's side, I need to let it—Tickle-me Emo?" Remus grunted and stared at him as he shivered slightly.

"Sup?" Virgil winced and wrapped his arms around himself. He stared at Remus with wide eyes as snow gently fluttered to the ground and his hair. Just seeing the duke's face brought him warmth. He was as brilliant as the sun and as eerie as the fog—Virgil was weak to his charm.

"Get your sexy ass in here!"

Virgil gratefully followed Remus inside, passing through the stone hallways. As they neared the sitting room, Remus matched his pace with Virgil and wrapped his arm around the shivering side.

Virgil involuntarily leaned into the touch and drank in the duke's warmth. They entered the sitting room, where a fire was blazing and a cozy couch sat in front of it.

"Of all the days for a surprise visit, you really chose the worst one! It's the only day this month when I have to get snow to my ice dragons!" Remus fretted as he guided Virgil to sit down.

"Oops," Virgil mumbled in response. Remus pouted for a second before plopping down next to him.

"So why were you creeping around my side?" Remus asked with a smirk, "You know you're always welcome here so there's no need to sneak!"

"It's really stupid," Virge sighed, "I just wanted to see you but without your mask, or getting your attention."

"You wanted to see boring me? But that's boring! Why?"

"I like boring you," Virgil admitted, too tired to deny anything, "To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny. The you that I sneak around to catch a glimpse of makes me feel better and I crave that boost. Won't you tell me, is it healthy? I don't know if it is at this point."

"No. It's not healthy," Remus pouted, "You know you can tell me anything and everything. If you don't need the wild act you just have to tell me. I would love to have quiet time with you as much as any wacky hijinks. The important part is that it's just you. Because you're you."

"And that's the problem," Virgil said and curled his knees to his chest, "I'm me and that means I'm not gonna actually say anything until I'm backed in a corner. I'm a seed that won't sprout, Remus. I'm always running and hiding and—what are you doing?"

"You're funny, Virge," Remus chuckled and wrapped his arm around him again, "You're the restraint I lack and you make shy look sexy, and when you get to the last straw you get even sexier because you can take a lot before you snap! You're you, a flower that blooms in the ashes, the life after a storm."

Virgil looked at him, taking in the cozy hearth and his warmth pressing against the emo's side. That soft, knowing smile made his doubts and worries melt. Remus was just being honest and that was more than Virgil could ask for in that moment.

"There is so much a man can tell you, so much I can say. I'll keep it short and sweet for you, like a fresh corpse. After all this time, even though you left, you remain the source of my power, my pleasure, and my pain—like the burn from eating a ton of ghost peppers. I can't get enough of you, and maybe I knew you were creeping around here and I was waiting for the moment you cracked and told me that you love me and can't bear to go a day without seeing me."

"Remus—" Virgil breathed and leaned closer.

"I can wait for a long time too! I'm content with the fleeting glances and interactions—like catching a glimpse of a bright rose against the calm before the storm. A gentle kiss of hope that dies when you look away."

"Remus, shut up a sec," Virgil huffed and pressed his lips to the corner of the duke's mouth, "and let me tell you something."

"Listening," Remus gawked, fighting back a goofy, open-mouthed smile. Virgil's eyeshadow was changing to a bright violet.

"I think I'm in love with you. The more I get of you, the stranger it feels. And it's like tiny bats flying in my gut. I can't bear to lose what I have with you but I keep wanting more. And if you're willing to help me, I'm ready to take what I want."

"Is it a bad time to say that I am turned on? Because I am way too happy and my heart boner is spreading to my pants."

"It's a bad time for you to say anything."

"Then can I get a kiss from a rose on the grey? Now that your rose is in bloom, a light hits the gloom on the grey–and a little bit of mouth to mouth might be the only thing to keep me from waxing like a dying poet craving a dead man who still pulls on my heart strings!"

Remus was stunned, pulled down by the sash and into a desperate kiss. He shivered slightly and melted into the motions, wrapping his arms around Virgil and pulling him into his lap. Virgil purred and ran his fingers through Remus' hair, shifting to straddle him. He couldn't fight the rising giddiness in his chest or the way he craved more and more of those lips—or that he needed to breathe.

"Damn," Virgil breathed when they broke apart, "that's my new favorite way to shut you up."

"I've been kissed by a rose on the grey," Remus mumbled and looked into Virgil's eyes, "And if he doesn't kiss me again I am going to wax and rave like some gothic romantic poet about how much I adore him beyond life, beyond death, beyond whatever eternity could offer."

"How about you keep being you and I kiss you when the urge strikes?"

"I won't get through a single quatrain."

"Not at all," Virgil teased and grabbed his chin. Remus wiggled his mustache and placed a hand on his wrist.

"You are the blood in my veins that brings bile to my throat. You are a dream and my nightmare, the kind that I don't want to wake from or miss in my sleep. If I should fall,will it all go away? Will you haunt my waking hours after this, living and deceased?"

"As much as you haunt my blackened soul," Virgil mused before kissing him again.

[starlocked01]

Seldom All They Seem

AO3  First- Previous- Next

Content Warning: Swearing, Innuendo, Body Shaming, Mention of Insect, Descriptions of Physical Injury

Chapter 4 Curiosity-  It's You I Like, Every Part of You

"Well, can you pull them out?" Janus hovered behind Roman as they watched the two sides sleeping. It hadn't been very long yet, maybe an hour since they'd sent Logan in but Janus didn't want to think of the consequences of Thomas being without two of his core sides for much longer.

"Logan I could wake up- I'm just not sure about Remus," Roman bit his lip and the tone in his voice gave Janus pause.

"You're lying," it was neither a question nor an accusation, simply a fact.

"No, that's your job, Two-face," Roman brushed him off with a wave but suspiciously glanced at him out of the corner of his eye in a way that killed any doubt in the deceitful side's mind.

"You can wake them both up at any time. Why did you send Logan in?" Janus' smile was a mixture of confusion and pride at Roman's successful deception.

Roman rolled his eyes, "look, it's spotty. Sometimes I can feel both of them and other times Remus slips away. Right now they seem pretty tethered together so I'm not worried," Roman sighed with a small shrug, "Remus won't admit his crush on Logan because he's convinced we all don't want him. I know for a fact that Logan doesn't see him as the evil twin despite my warnings so I gave them a chance to talk it out. I don't make dangerous daydreams like Remus does; I make romance happen. And if you and Patton are anything to judge by, I'm pretty damn good at it."

Janus flushed at the mention of what he thought were secret rendezvous. He was almost disturbed how subtly Roman must have manipulated the situation for him to not notice, "well, aren't you just so devious. Luckily for you, Remus' affections are mutual otherwise this meddling could have hurt your friendship with Logan even further."

"I had a feeling they were mutual, but how did you know?" Roman asked, turning back towards Janus.

"Well…" ---- Logan knelt beside Remus in the stillness of the forest floor. The wounds looked fairly superficial but Logan wasn't sure how hard Remus had fallen from his back when they'd tumbled in their escape from the gigantic stick bug.

Remus groaned and arched his back to stretch it out, "you didn't warn me that you like it that rough, nerd daddy."

"Does anything feel broken?" Logan's eyes scanned over the various cuts and abrasions. Remus looked down at himself, at the torn clothes and small beads of blood, and crossed a protective arm over his stomach. Logan’s close attention both thrilled and humiliated him. He wouldn't be hurt like this if he could just run and keep pace with the nerd. Like Roman said, too many cookies lately.

"No, I'm not broken. Why would you think I'm broken? I'm fine," Remus huffed, painfully pushing himself up to sitting.

"I didn't say you were broken," Logan replied softly, "I merely asked if anything felt broken, like bones. I don't see you as defective, Remus."

"The only thing broken here are your glasses," Remus winced as he took a deep breath, "and maybe a rib. Thank hell this isn't permanent."

"Unless we can't wake up and are stuck here," Logan reminded him.

"Or we could just try and heal things by dream logic. C'mere," Remus reached up to Logan’s shoulder and pulled him down to his level. The gash on Logan's forehead was no longer bleeding, but it looked pretty nasty. Remus leaned forward and kissed the injury, smiling as the flesh stitched itself back together.

Logan’s eyes went wide as he reached up to touch his forehead, astounded by the lack of blood or scar.

"Oh come on, you do the same thing in the mind palace. I just do it with style," Remus grinned, shaking the scrapes off of his arms.

"I- you're right. But- oh I don't know. I don't work here, remember?" Logan said sourly.

"Awww that's a shame, 'cause you could work it if you tried," Remus giggled, smacking his side and sitting up in less pain. Logan really couldn't understand how aggravating an injury would fix it but Remus seemed confident in what he was doing.

"Are you good to walk?" Logan asked, standing and brushing himself off. He flexed his left hand a few times, thankful they were no longer stuck.

"Yeah, but I'm tired. Can we just chill?" Remus looked up at him with what were apparently puppy dog pleading eyes. Logan chuckled and sat down next to Remus.

"You're never chill. Are you sure this dream hasn't gotten to you?"

"Eh probably has but this isn't so bad is it?"

"No, it's not bad," Logan sighed and leaned back against a log, leg crossed over his knee.

"So why'd you come after me, Specs?" Remus scooted a bit closer to Logan.

"I told you. You've been in here for a week and Roman said he couldn't wake you up," Logan explained matter-of-factly.

Remus gave him a pointed look, "yes but why did you come? Roman could have sent anyone in here, so why did you agree?"

Logan contemplated in silence for a moment, looking out at the trees as Remus watched him curiously, waiting for his answer, "honestly, Janus blackmailed me because he knew I'd be concerned about your absence."

Remus sat back, unhappy with that answer, "oh. I should have guessed…"

Logan turned to look at him, "emphasis on the concern. I-" he looked away again, embarrassed "-care that you wanted to leave permanently."

Remus bounced his foot on the ground, smooshing a mushroom and humming to himself. Logan had to admit, he'd never seen Remus so calm. Perhaps his rampage here had been helpful.

"Why didn't you want to wake up?" Logan asked softly. Remus' foot stilled and he looked back up at Logan, blinking back tears.

"No one wants me around. I'm just your least favorite intrusive, annoying thot. I hurt Thomas with ideas I can't help thinking. Nothing I contribute is redeemable in anyone's eyes. All of those are the reasons I tried to convince myself it would be better this way, but honestly, I was running."

"Running from what?"

"From you."

"Me?"

"Yeah…"

"Oh," Logan watched Remus very carefully, attuned to his defensive body language. If he acknowledged he had a heart, it would have been breaking to see Remus this terrified- especially of him. He cleared his throat, "what did I do to scare or hurt you?"

Remus looked up and shook his head, "no no no. Not scary or hurtful…" he took a deep breath as though he was trying to brace himself before blurting out, "you are the hottest side, aside from me." Logan snorted back a laugh, "oh come on! I have a mustache- it sets me apart."

"Did I disagree?" Logan asked with a smirk.

Remus turned several shades of pink and ran his fingers through his hair, "uh you weren't supposed to agree with me."

"But you're right," Logan's cheeks flushed and he stretched out his arm to wrap around Remus' shoulders. Remus leaned into his side, almost as if he were trying to disappear into the hug.

"You're also good at rationalizing and compartmentalizing me," Remus hesitated as he reached out to grab Logan’s hand that was resting on his own ankle.

"I don't compartmentalize you. I help Thomas examine your contributions. Sometimes the more hurtful suggestions need ignored. I do the same thing with some of Roman's more fanciful dreams and Virgil’s inaccurate outbursts," Logan smiled and offered his hand and Remus quickly accepted, hoping they'd get stuck again.

"Dressing me down, figuratively and literally," Remus winked, "really does help a lot. I guess I'm just used to being the bad guy so Roman can be the hero."

"I think we all can start to move past that simplistic idea of you," Logan pulled Remus in tighter. Focusing on the conversation was like following a single thread through a knot while trying to untangle the whole thing. Figuring out exactly where Remus was coming from was vital to getting them both out of the dream, together, but also perhaps, unlocking a different level of relationship. He stroked the back of Remus' hand with his thumb and continued, "I do appreciate what you contribute, Remus. Thomas is a good person and you are a part of him. You are not evil. I quite enjoy your spontaneity."

"I like messing with you."

"Perhaps I enjoy organizing the mess."

"I like you," Remus let go of Logan’s hand and traced one of the rips in the logical side's shirt, "more than any of the others. Like romantically."

Logan’s breath caught in his chest at the unexpected confession and the brush of Remus' fingers on his abdomen. It had been hard enough for him to admit his own thoughts about Remus to himself, and on accident when they had been vocalized to Janus. But Remus liked him?

"This has to be a dream because I never had hope of hearing you say that," the admission left Logan feeling weak and nauseous.

"Lo, do you… like me too?" Logan simply nodded and Remus wrapped him in a hug. He could have never dreamed Logan, the real Logan, would ever like him the same way.

"Remus, please get off," Logan's voice was tense and Remus immediately panicked.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know I need to lose weight- I was just so happy-"

"This isn't about your weight. I just wasn't expecting that and need to stand up," Logan cut him off and gently pushed him aside while he stood, offering both hands for Remus to pull himself up on, "believe me, you're not in an unhealthy weight range at all. I can easily lift you. There's no reason for you to be worried," Logan watched a tear slip down Remus' cheek as he smiled gratefully back at him. Logan smirked and picked Remus up, twirling him in a hug to prove his point.

"Thanks, Lo," Remus smiled and grabbed his hand. Without another word they both continued on, Remus leading Logan towards where the beacon had been.

Tag List: @fandersides1234567 @sirprplsnail @bisexualdisaster106 @theiwatobiicepic @nerd-in-space @lost-mentally @intrulogicalweek2020

[romansleftshoulderpad]

Hellfire, Dark Fire

Words: 1,658

Ships: Dukeceit, implied LAMP

Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit, Sympathetic Remus, PG13, implied nsfw, thanks to the lyrics I accidentally implied that LAMP fucks like rabbits but it be like that sometimes, food mention, death mention, poison mention

Also HUGE shoutout to @virge-of-a-breakdown for helping me out with this

Tags: @fandermom @patchworkofstars @poisonedapples @hogwarts-my-love @opaque-puppet @omni-hamiltrash @darling-elm @jynxlovesluck   @localtransgrape @because-were-fam-ily

---

Beata Maria, You know I am a righteous man Of my virtue, I am justly proud.

Deceit and Remus had come to an agreement at some point after Virgil left. They worked alone, but they were not uncivil. They ate meals together, often socialized and conspired together, but they each had their own separate spaces. It was simple and organized.

So why did things have to change?

Deceit knew who he was. He knew how others saw him. He’s a liar, deception incarnate, a snake, a fiend, the list goes on and on. But Deceit also knew that he was honest where it mattered most, he was honest with himself. Logan, Roman, and Patton can lie to themselves day in and day out but he knows it will never get them anywhere. Virgil can lie to himself about how he’s free from his past, but those lies are more of a ball and chain than his past will ever be.

Beata Maria, You know I’m so much purer than the common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd

But Deceit was starting to regret that promise to himself. Ever since Remus had come out of the dark, he had been stronger and more powerful. It was almost intoxicating to watch him work.

Then tell me, Maria, Why I see him dancing there? Why his smoldering eyes still scorch my soul?

“Oh, it was fantastic!” Remus had yelled, his legs swung over the top of the couch as he hung from it upside down. “There was a song and- Oh! You should have seen the way Patton squirmed! It was delightful!”

“And our dear, old friend?”

“Oh, the itsy bitsy spider?” Remus laughed. “As Emo as ever.”

Deceit rolled his eyes, obviously not satisfied with the answer at hand. “Happy to hear that. All seems to be going according to plan, then?”

“You bet your bottom dollar, boss,” Remus teased. “And you can bet your bottom too.” He laughed as he wiggled his eyebrows but Deceit only rolled his eyes.

“You’re disgusting.”

“Only in the bedroom!”

Deceit picked up Remus’s feet and gently tossed him onto the ground. The Duke, however, only laughed as he folded his arms over Deceit’s lap and propped his chin into his hands. “I knew you’d have me on my knees on of these days,” he said with a wink.

Deceit flipped off Remus as he felt the human side of his face turn beet red. “I absolutely despise you.”

Remus laughed and stuck out his tongue as he scrunched his face in a weirdly adorable way. “Sure you do,” he chuckled. This did not help Deceit’s blush.

As time went on, things only changed more and more. He found himself fixated on Remus. On how Remus’s hair looked shiny and smooth in the light. He was fixated on Remus’s eyeshadow and how it brought out the way his hazel eyes twinkled anytime he had an idea. He was fixated on how Remus’s collarbones stuck out from his shirt. He was fixated on everything beneath Remus’s clothes.

It only got worse in winter. While Florida never got very cold in the winters, temperatures were always amplified in the mindscape; ergo, Deceit was freezing.

But Remus was there. Remus was there to supply him with blankets and hot chocolate. Damn him, Deceit thought as Remus leaned in close, carefully wrapping another blanket around Deceit’s shoulders. Deceit could feel the heat of his breath against his face which didn’t smell like something vile for once. “Did you steal my hot chocolate?” Deceit asked.

“Had to make sure the taste of poison was properly concealed,” he teased.

“If you wanted to kill me, it’d be much easier to just let me freeze.”

“Perhaps,” Remus said, pulling Deceit’s chin down and slowly pouring hot chocolate into his mouth. “As entertaining as it would be to watch you die, I’d be horribly lonely then. So, really, I have no choice but to take care of you.”

Deceit smiled, pushing the cup away from his face. “I hate you, too.”

I feel him, I see him The sun caught in his raven hair is blazing in me out of all control.

The worst of it all though was when Remus would hold Deceit in his arms and they’d sit by the fire together. Due to the close proximity to heat, Deceit could get by with just his old grey sweater and scarf, but Remus insisted that he needed the extra body heat. His touches felt hotter than fire.

Like fire Hellfire

He found himself half-asleep, rag-dolling in Remus’s lap as his eyes stayed fixated on fire but the rest of his body was fixated on the way Remus’s mustache brushed against his cheek or how his breath hit his neck. Remus pulled him closer ever so slightly and neatly pressed a kiss to his cheek. Deceit let out a contented sigh and let his eyes slip shut, focusing on nothing other than how he felt in Remus’s arms.

He didn’t want to love Remus. He was too tired to care.

This fire in my skin.

Was there any point in lying to himself? Could Deceit spare a moment of honesty to allow himself to revel in this moment? As Remus’s mouth moved down to his neck, kissing his skin ever so gently, ever so slowly, every part of him was screaming, “hell yes!”

This burning desire

He turned towards Remus, both of them stuck in time from the moment they locked eyes. After an infinity of waiting, Deceit moved in closer and their lips met with a passion that burned brighter than the crackling fire next to them.

Is turning me to sin.

Months of unspoken feelings easily rolled off the tongue of a wordless conversation. Hands explored bodies, fingers tangled through hair, each of them new territory for the other to explore. It was invigorating and enlightening. It was alive!

Deceit had forgotten all about winter. All that mattered was Remus. Remus’s hair. Remus’s skin. Remus.

It was a night of pure ecstasy.

But a morning as if nothing had happened. Remus was back to being his usual, annoying self. He made sure that Deceit was warm, but made no mention of the kiss...es.

Somehow the anger of being ignored just made Deceit want him even more. And the punishment for lying to oneself truly begins.

“Is anything the matter my serpentine fiend?” Remus asked, gently sliding a mug of hot cocoa in front of Deceit.

Deceit silently pushed the mug away. “I’m sick of chocolate.”

“I used a special ingredient,” Remus hummed as he pushed the mug back towards Deceit. “Oh don’t give me that sour face!”

“This is poisoned, isn’t it?”

Remus feigned a gasp. “I am shocked! I am offended that you would suggest that I would harm a dear friend!”

Deceit picked up the mug and dumped its contents onto the floor. “Someone’s going to have to clean that up.”

“Wow! I didn’t know it was possible for you to be more of an asshole!” 

Deceit dropped the mug and apathetically watched it shatter into pieces. “Whoopsies.”

“I have a feeling you’re mad at me.”

Deceit gasped. “Whatever gave you such an idea?!”

“Do you want me to suck your dick?”

“Perhaps then you’d have some good ideas.”

“Okay, now you’re just being mean.” Remus sat down next to Deceit at the table and grabbed his ice-cold hand. “C’mon, Double D, just tell me what’s wrong.”

“You are!” he yelled. “I- I am... I... don’t know.”

“That’s honest,” Remus said. “You’re at least trying.

Deceit looked up at him and had a rush of déja vu. How easy it would be to kiss Remus once more and feel that same flood of electricity and emotion. “Everything is so... complicated, lately.”

“How so?”

Deceit said nothing but buried his face behind his scarf. He felt Remus’s hand brush against his scales. Remus was fire. He was uncontrollable and destructive but also warm. So, so warm and beautiful, in his own strange way.

It’s not my fault, I’m not to blame.

“Do you wanna kiss again?” Remus teased, but his words held an ounce of sincerity under the surface. “I really like kissing you, Snake Face.”

Remus stood and Deceit followed as if it were second nature. He was completely entranced by whatever spell Remus had him under. They both moved back slowly until Deceit was pressed against the wall with one hand on his chest and the other on his face.

It’s not my fault If in God’s plan

Remus moved in closer, his bangs falling against Deceit’s nose. “Is this what you want?” he asked, his voice rich and deep. Deceit thought he might go weak in the knees.

He made the devil so much stronger than a man.

Deceit nodded and felt as if he might melt when their lips connected. Kissing Remus was its own high. It was all Deceit wanted to do for the rest of his life.

Protect me, Maria Don’t let this siren cast his spell.

Remus moved in closer and electricity ran through their connected bodies as they both moved in closer and closer, destroying every infinitesimal space until it almost felt like they were one. Yet they weren’t one. They were thankful to be two separate bodies since such a separation allowed them to be like this.

Don’t let his fire sear my flesh and bones.

“I love you,” Deceit panted.

Hellfire. Dark fire.

Remus picked up Deceit’s legs in a quick motion and held him against the wall. “Love can wait,” he said, pressing one more heated kiss to Deceit’s lips. “I have other plans for today.”

Deceit gasped but his shock quickly melted into a mischievous smirk. “I haven’t the slightest idea what you mean. Perhaps you’ll just have to demonstrate.”

God have mercy on him.

They sunk out of the kitchen.

God have mercy on me.

[imcrushedbyarainbowoffical]

Deceitber Day 8: Snake Charmer (Fluffy ship)

This is a long one but I hope you enjoy :)

Prompt: Fluffy Ship

Word Count: 2016

Characters: Deceit, Remus, Roman, Patton, Logan, and Virgil. 

Relationships: Demus/Receit

Trigger Warnings: Swearing, Remus being Remus, and kissing. 

Despite being half of the creativity, Remus wasn't very good at the whole romance thing. Now when it came to the sexy part, he knew how to get down and dirty in a flash. But romance? He was clueless.

Therein lied the problem, because if you wanted to catch a certain snake. You had to be charming and irresistible.

So how do you charm a snake? You enlist some help of course!

Remus popped up in the light sides commons with the biggest grin on his face while holding his chin in his hand. Yet, the light sides didn't pay him any mind as he stood behind the tv.

"Hey!" he shouted "I like Deceit, like /really/ like Deceit and I want to go on a date with him! But I don't know anything about that romantic shit! So can you all help me?!?!"

Everyone looked at Remus with confusion clouding there faces. As though he had just told the strangest joke any of them had ever heard.

"Um, what?" asked Roman

"You like who now?" asked Virgil

"I like Deceit and want to date Deceit," Remus emphasized

"And you want us to help....you?" said Roman with an eyebrow raise

"Yes!"

"Why are you enlisting the help of us, Remus?" asked Logan

"Because I don't know shit about romance and you all do so...help me!"

"But we aren't-" Logan began

"We'd be happy to help!" squealed Patton, cutting Logan off.

"We would?" asked Roman and Virgil in unison.

"Of course! We can't leave a Side hanging now can we?"

"Uh, ya, I agree. We'll help you in your quest for love Remus!" Roman said triumphantly as he pulled out his sword and aimed it toward the sky.

"We will?" asked Virgil "But how? Remus isn't the most charming person in the world you know."

"Virgil's right, how do you plan on doing this?" asked Logan

"We'll figure that out soon enough. Now let's get you ready for tonight's date, Remus" Roman replied

"Yay! Thank you, dork!" Remus shouted as he jumped up and down on the balls of his feet.

Remus was practically squirming as Roman brushed some blush onto Remus's pale cheeks. Then adding some dark green eyeshadow along the ridge of his eyes that went perfectly with his black and green suit he was wearing. As with the green bowtie they added for an extra touch up.

"Hold still Remus. I can't make you look decent if you're jumping all over the place," said Roman

"Sorry, I'm just really excited," Remus replied

"I know you are but just keep it in your pants until tonight. Alright?"

Remus grinned "I'll try" he mocked

Remus sat at the table with his thumbs twitling. It was 6:55 and in five minutes, Logan would being bringing in Deceit. The dinner would start at exactly 7:00 o'clock meaning Remus only had five minutes to compose himself and prepare for his date with Deceit.

The room had been set up just the way Roman and Patton said it would. With the table dittied up with a fancy white table cloth and a candlestick in the middle. While fairy lights were strung around the room with roses and hearts accompanying them.

It was certainly beautiful, by Roman's standards anyway. But Remus couldn't help but feel nervous. He was half hoping Logan would be a little late. After all, he wanted to be prepared for everything and anything that should transpire throughout the date.

However, when the clock dinged at 7:00, Logan popped up with Deceit, who was wearing his black and yellow tux with a yellow bowtie. His face was clouded with confusion but quickly turned to an amused smile when he saw Remus.

Remus tried to keep down his excitement and popped a breath mint into his mouth. Roman had suggested he keep his breath smelling good. (Though Remus didn't see the point of it). Remus got up from the table as Deceit approached.

"Remus" Deceit acknowledged, with an eyebrow raised.

Remus swallowed the lump in his throat and grabbed Deceit's hand. Gently planting a slow kiss on the top of his glove.

"You look stunning tonight my dear," Remus said.

He looked up momentarily to see if the snake side was blushing, but was only met with the same smile.

"Right this way," Remus said, clearing his throat.

He pulled Deceit along and pulled out a chair for him. Deceit carefully sat in the seat and Remus pushed the chair closer to the table.  Remus then went to his own seat and sat down, smiling fondly at Deceit.

"I must say, Remus," Deceit said, "For someone as daft as you, I wouldn't think you'd be able to pull something like this off."

"Oh well, you know me. Always coming up with crazy ideas. However, this time I thought we could do something a little more simple. But with style of course."

Remus snapped his fingers and Roman appeared at his side. Dressed in a waiters uniform with a fake brown mustache hanging from his nose. He handed Remus a menu (that was really a folded piece of paper with the word "menu" on it) and Remus pretended to look at it.

"Well have the special tonight," Remus said as he handed the menu back.

"Yes, of course," Roman replied

Roman skipped into the kitchen and came out again carrying a large platter in one hand. He set the platter down on the table and removed the silver lid, revealing two plates of spaghetti.

"Spaghetti al a Pat," said Roman

Deceit raised an eyebrow and eyed Remus curiously.

"I hope you don't mind pasta. Patton helped me make it," said Remus.

"Not at all," Deceit grabbed his fork and wrapped a bit of the spaghetti around it. He took a small bite and smiled. "It's delicious," he said.

Remus smiled back and dug into his dinner, slurping up the noodles so quick the sauce was flying everywhere. He was halfway through when he noticed Roman was behind Deceit chair, frowning and waving his hand against his neck in a frantic motion. Remus glanced at Deceit who was holding his hand over his mouth and seemingly trying not to laugh. Remus cleared his throat and straightened himself, properly eating his food this time and garnering a thumbs up from Roman.

Remus and Deceit kept up a pleasant conversation throughout the meal. Talking about their likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc. However, Remus felt as though they weren't getting anywhere and snapped his fingers. Roman or the "waiter" was summoned to his side and Remus motioned for him to come closer. Roman put his ear up to Remus's mouth.

"I think we need to spice things up," he whispered

"On it," replied Roman

Roman clapped his hands twice and music began to play. Remus adjusted his bowtie and approached Deceit, extending his hand.

"May I, have this dance?" he asked

Deceit smiled cooley and took Remus's hand, standing up. "I would be honored," he said with a slight bow. Remus felt the heat rushing to his face but smiled.   He brought Deceit over to the living room and they began.

You're in my arms And all the world is calm The music playing on for only two

He grabbed Deceit's hand and wrapped his other arm around Deceit's upper back. Then two began, their feet moving the rhythm of the music as their bodies danced back and forth, left, right, and back again.

So close together And when I'm with you So close to feeling alive

Their hearts were practically beating as one. Deceit and Remus moving so slowly yet in a sort of trance.

A life goes by Romantic dreams must die So I bid my goodbye And never knew

Remus felt like he was going to lose himself in Deceit's heterochromatic eyes. The way his brown and yellow became soft in the light and yet curious. He could feel himself getting weak in the knees.

So close, was waiting Waiting here with you And now, forever, I know

Remus lifted his arm and spun Deceit around slowly,

All that I wanted To hold you so close

Remus pulled Deceit in closer as the energy in the room picked up.

So close to reaching That famous happy end

Deceit looked into Remus's eyes as the two of them twirled around the room, a genuine smile tugging at his lips.

Almost believing This one's not pretend

Remus spun Deceit a few times again. Dipping him low and raising him high as there bodies intertwined with each other.

And now you're beside me And look how far we've come So far we are, so close

They stopped for only a short moment to catch their breath but immediately resumed afterward.

Oh how could I face the faceless days If I should lose you now

Remus slipped his hand down Deceit's back and onto his waist. Deceit's breath hitched but he soon relaxed into the touch.

We're so close to reaching That famous happy ending Almost believing This one's not pretend

They were swinging fully now, lost in each other's bodies and eyes.

Let's go on dreaming For we know we are

The music began to fade as they slowed down and stopped. Remus grabbed Deceit's chin and lifted his head slightly. Hot breath landed on each other's faces as Remus leaned in closer, his lips tantalizingly close to Deceits.

So close, so close And still so far

Remus pressed his lips against Deceits, enlisting a sudden gasp from Deceit. Remus entangled his fingers through Deceit's hair and felt his body burning with passion. Though the kiss only lasted a moment before Deceit pushed away. Tumbling back from Remus with the human half of his face blushing wildly.

"Are you alright my dear?" Remus asked

Deceit composed himself and straightened his body, "I-I'm fine. I was just a bit surprised is all," he said.  

Remus chuckled and walked over to Deceit. He wrapped an arm around Deceit's waist and leaned in again, but Deceit put a finger to his mouth. "I-I think we should, um, watch a movie. You know? To relax a l-little."

Remus nodded and led Deceit over to the couch. Remus then snapped his fingers and summoned Virgil.

"Nightmare Before Christmas, if you would," he said.

Virgil smirked and popped the DVD into the player then threw the remote at Remus. "Have fun," he said as he sunk out in a flash.

Remus hit play on the remote and glanced over to Deceit, who was still noticeably blushing. He seemed to be trying to keep his attention on the movie and not on Remus.

Remus smirked and slid a little closer to Deceit, pretending to stretch and yawn as he wrapped an arm around Deceit's shoulders. Deceit immediately tensed up but relaxed as Remus gingerly massaged his shoulder. Deceit's eyes slid closed and he leaned into the touch, curling into Remus's chest with a content sigh. The movie continued to play in the background but Remus wasn't even paying attention at this point. He shifted his weight and positioned himself to lay down on the couch. Making sure Deceit laid comfortably on his chest. This wasn't exactly what he was planning on doing that night. But for whatever strange reason, it felt right.

Remus wrapped his arms around Deceit and snuggled him closer. Combing the Deceit's hair with his fingers and kissing his forehead. Deceit sighed happily and climbed up Remus's body a bit, till their faces were in line with each other. Without even opening his eyes, Deceit leaned down and kissed Remus's lips, making the rat side blush. Then Deceit nuzzled his face into the crook of Remus's neck. Remus could tell by Deceit's slow breathing that he was asleep. 

They could get down and dirty another night. Cause, for now, Remus was content on just holding Deceit close like this. It wasn't the same as getting the fiery passion of sex but it was close. Close enough for Remus anyway.