#i don’t talk to her anymore but our dads play dungeons and dragons

[mickeeeemouse]

i had this friend in highschool that would date terrible men, the worst guys. one of them was a guy named ryan who was enabling my cousins drug addiction AND he genuinely thought he was an alien from space and told her to keep it a secret but she told me.

[gloomyhearts]

That's life || Steve Harrington

Chapter four

When Y/N arrived at high school; Steve and her weren't like in the past. Since the middle school Y/N mostly met up Nancy and Jonathan in the afternoon. They talked about everything because their brothers bond them. Steve, he wasn't able to talk about siblings and all the crab with them and some topics didn't mattered to him.

He often hung up with Tommy who bullied him in the elementary school but this was irrelevant. Tommy and Steve were a dynamical duo. They grew popular a reason for that is because their parents, mostly their dads are working for a big company in town.

Until high school they both kind of ruled the school. Tommy had many girlfriends unlike Steve; this wasn't him, he always loved Y/N but he couldn't show it because then Tommy would leave him and he would be alone; he was scared that the trio wouldn't incorporate him anymore.

Sometimes they bullied Y/N and her friends but mostly Jonathan.

In her sophomore year Nancy somehow end up with Steve, it can be said that it is for Steve mostly to become maybe a little part of their group of four, maybe he has feelings for her but he isn't sure but he thinks it will work out; Nancy on the other hand has a real crush on Steve and would do anything to be with him.

First Y/N was jealous how Nancy could take Steve to her boyfriend after the Henderson girl talked all the years about Steve being her crush. But at some point it didn't bothered her anymore. Y/N distanced herself from Nancy and get along with Jonathan alone. Both of them didn't talked that much.

Sometimes at lunch Barb sat down at the table of the duo of Jonathan and Y/N; the three of them talked about school and the favourute couple.

When the school ends Y/N always has to wait for her brother if he didn't drove home with his bike.

Finally home she walked right into the dining room to eat with her family.

Everyday Claudia Henderson asks her children how the school went and how the breaks were.

Almost everyday she gets the same answers

"it was okay mom."

"Nothing really happened".

The Henderson dad wasn't home really often; he travels around the world to meet chefs of companies.

Although he got this 'big' job his children are like nerds, rejects in school.

They both never made his job as a big deal Tommy and Steve did but it's totally okay for the Henderson kids they are happy with the friends they have.

Y/N was allowed to leave the room so she walked to hers and began to do her homework.

After a few minutes there were knocks on the door.

"Y/N?" Dustin opened the door and looked into the room.

"Dusti. What's wrong?" He came into the room and sat down on her bed.

"Mom said I'm not allowed to meet Mike and the others tomorrow at his. But she did not forbid that if you'll drive me I can visit them. So please Y/N we want to play dungeons and dragons. We worked so hard to play it." His bigger sister stand up and walked over to him.

"Dustin have you asked her that? Under this condition?"

"Mm no... but I will. I'm coming back in a few" Dustin ran out of the room and Y/N only heard the voices of her brother and mother.

"I'm allowed. Maybe can you drive me right now?" Y/N looked down to her little brother.

"I think you forgot something."

Fridays; the Henderson siblings days; they sit down in self-made fort out of pillows and blankets and watch movies.

"It's Friday right?" She only nodded. "MOVIE NIGHT" Dustin screamed.

"Dustin" their mother yelled from downstairs.

"Sorry" he screamed down again.

"So you want to do that or not?"

"Of course I will." Dustin leaves the room again to go in his and change his clothes as well Y/N did the same and after a few minutes they met in the living room and started the movies.

And what is a movie night without horror movies? Right, nothing.

Dustin is not the one who really like those movies but for his older sister he is doing everything so an hour in the movie Dustin is cuddled up with a pillow in front of his face and Y/N arms around him.

"Oh no little Dusti. It's almost over" she gave him a kiss on the forehead.

Moments later the doorbell rings. "Who is this?" Y/N wanted to open the door but Dustin put her even closer.

"Don't leave me, please" so the both kids stand up and walked over to the door.

"Lucas what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to drive to Mikes he asked me if maybe we could come right now to him so we can start in the morning with d&d" Dustin has detached himself from his sister after Y/N opened the door.

Right now he is looking to her. "Please Y/N that would be great and I will love you so much more" he embraced her to convinced her even more.

"Dustin it's movie night.." she has sadness in her voice but tried to cover it.

"But yeah it's okay. Mom isn't home either."

"Thank you Y/N that's great you're the best sister in the world."

"I'm your only you little dibshit." Dustin smirked and ran upstairs to get his clothes.

"Okay so Dustin have a good night and don't stay awake that long and don't eat too much."

"Do you pick me up tomorrow?"

"Cause mom think I'm gonna do it? I think you're old enough to drive with the bike. Are Will and Lucas driving with them too?" Lucas only nodded.

"Yeah I think it's okay but when I have to pick you up call me, okay?" Dustin nodded and gave his sister a hug and left the house.

Y/N went upstairs to her room again and sat down at her table and began to write a letter.

Dearest Steve,

Thanks for the memories that you gave me over all those years. I really appreciate that we were friends until Tommy our biggest enemy brought us apart. I did everything for you even if it seemed impossible and crazy. I love you from the first day and I will always gonna love you.

Even if you'll never get this letter I want you to know that you're my everything, my life and my best friend.

I hate being apart from you and not talking to you kills me. Every time I see you and Nancy kissing it kills myself. I'm dead inside and you left. You gave me power to life; to hold on but then you left.

Puberty really changed you just as Tommy did.

[beep-beep-emmie]

Only A Friend (Part Two)

Friend! Mike Wheeler x reader, Will Byers x reader

Requested by: @catlover092402152

Based off of: Friends by Marshmello and Anne-Marie

Words: 742 (It’s short, I know) Warnings: None that I know of

//Sorry I did not have this up yesterday. I had some homework to finish. I didn’t check over it as I am really tired and have had a long day. This probably not good, but I hope you like it! ~ Emmie\\

As the party grew up, starting another year of school was easy. El and Mike were still together, Lucas and Max were also a couple. Over the summer, Dustin found Suzie, when he was at camp. That left Will and I to keep ourselves entertained. All of them would stray away from the party, leaving Will and I to play by ourselves. Will always came up to me when he was having his goosebumps and the awful feelings. He was shy about them at first, but slowly was warming up to me.

It was a normal night, school was normal, and I had to take homework home with me. The rain was pouring down hard, like teardrops on my window. I was working on homework when I heard a knock on my window. I opened it to see Mike, and I quickly let him in. He was soaked, from head to toe, and his eyes were puffy like he had been crying. I always had a change of clothes for everyone, just in case they needed to stay the night. Mike got himself clean and sat on my bed.

“El broke up with me. She said that she dumped my ass”. I rubbed his back as he cried, letting him lean against me.

“You’ll be fine, Mike. Hopper is her dad, he might be persuading her to do this. Just give it time”.

He did give it time,  but to stay with me and be closer. I did not have the feelings for Mike anymore. He was more like a brother now, even if we have been friends since we were ten. I was starting to like Will, and my feelings were growing for him. Mike and I were talking, while I was setting up an area for him to sleep. Mike sat in the spot on the space I made, looking up at me.

“Do you think we would have worked out if I said yes to you?”

“I don’t know, Mike. You had hurt my feelings and other things. If it was different, maybe, but I don’t know”.

 We shortly went to bed after, and I tried to not think about the situation. I lost feelings for Mike and I just wanted to move on. 

A couple days later, Mike, Lucas, Will, and I were hanging out as El and Max were hanging out with each other. Will and I were in our costumes that we wore for Dungeons and Dragons, which consisted of a light blue dress and elf ears that my mother made. Mike and Will got into a huge fight, which I tried to stop.

“Did you think that we would just not get girlfriends and keep playing!”

“Yes...I did. (Y/N) is the only one who wants to and she has been a better friend than you!” Will got onto his bike, peddling off, which I quickly got on my bike. Mike got in front of me, blocking me from going as well.

“Don’t leave me (Y/N). I missed you, and I wish I never pushed you away. We should have dated and I should have confessed my feelings for you. Please, don’t leave me”.

“Mike, I moved on. I knew that we would never work out. We’re just friends. Nothing more”.

I moved away from Mike and rode my bike after Will. The only place I knew he would go was Castle Byers. Will had already destroyed it, but I ran towards Will and wrapped my arms around him. He wrapped his arms around me and cried into my shoulder. We stayed like that for a moment before we went inside his house to get dry. We sat on his bed and talked for a while, until we just stopped and stared at each other. Slowly, we got closer and sure enough we were kissing. I pulled back and looked at Will.

“Are you sure about this? I have loved you forever, but I don’t want to mess this up”.

“I’m sure, (Y/N). Will you be my girlfriend?” I said yes and hugged Will tightly, pressing my lips against his.

Mike saw how we acted a while later and figured it out. He made up with El and they were back together as a couple. I was happy for myself and him. It was about time that we figured out how to be ourselves, even when the whole world is going to fall.

[usual-day-dreamer]

Let Me Touch Your Fire (Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader) Chapter Three

MASTERLIST

"Did you like the tape?"

"I did, you like Queen a lot, don't you?"

"They're one of my faves" you said taking a bite of your corn dog "Any favorite songs?"

"Yeah, it was that song about some place with a beach" he said "It went like..." he made a dramatic pose

"Aruba, Jamaica, oh I want to take you to Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama" he sang with a stronger voice. You smiled at him amused and decided to join him singing the next part.

"Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go" you tried doing his same voice but failed miserably and laughed, he joined you in the next.

"Oh I want to take you down to Kokomo, we'll get there fast and then we'll take it slow" he grabbed your hand and started spinning you around and the both of you sang in unison as he let you go you tried to do a Hawaiian dance and he did the same.

"That's where we want to go, way down in Kokomo" he winked at you and you smiled and with the strongest voice you could muster you sang the ending of the chorus

"Martinique, that Montserrat mystique" you couldn't hold it anymore and you started laughing, Steve joining you.

Robin opened the small window with an annoyed look "Can you guys shut it? I'm trying to concentrate"

"Sorry" You said with a smile and she rolled her eyes and disappeared again.

Steve and you giggled, and Dustin came back.

"I'm sorry, I forgot my binoculars and had to go back" he said

"Are you ready?" Steve nodded at your brother

"See you in a bit" he said and walked away.

Once they were settled behind a plant, Dustin handed Steve the binoculars.

"Robin seems pretty cool" Dustin said

"She's not" he answered "What am I searching for?"

"Evil Russians"

"Yeah but, how will I know when I see one?" Steve looked around binoculars.

"Mysterious guy with a duffle bag"

Steve continued to look around the mall.

"You like Robin"

"I do not!"

"Come on Steve you should really be with someone that you actually like than with someone you think is going to make you cooler, you are an adult now"

Steve sighed.

"She's not even my type"

"And what about my sister?" Steve's heart raised but he tried to keep cool.

"What about her?"

"I don't know, you two seem to hit it off really well"

"Shut up Henderson I am going to date whoever I want, you have a girlfriend now because of my advice remember?"

Dustin rolled his eyes at Steve

"I think I found our guy"

Steve and Dustin ran behind the guy Steve thought was Russian only to find that he was the jazzercise instructor. Defeated they walked back to Scoops Ahoy.

*

Your brain felt like it was going to explode, you had no clue what the message could mean, and Robin seemed really stressed too.

"The week is long. The silver cat feeds when blue meets yellow in the west. A trip to China sounds nice if you tread lightly" you read again and sighed.

"What do you think it means"

"I don't know, I feel like my brain is going to explode"

A knock interrupted you and she made her way towards the back door.

"Must be the delivery guy"

You watched her open the door and walked behind her peaking at the guy with the packages.

The company’s name caught your attention: Lynx

When Robin closed the door, you exchanged looks and ran outside the parlor, everything suddenly making sense.

You almost crashed into Steve and Dustin but ignored their bickering as you jumped on top of a bench, Robin standing next to you.

"The silver cat feeds when blue meets yellow in the west" both said in unison and looked towards the mall's clock, the colors matched the ones in the message.

"A trip to China sounds nice" you whispered and found the Chinese restaurant food. Robin followed your gaze, and everything clicked

"What the hell is happening?" Robin and you looked at the boys

"We cracked the code" you two said in unison and they stared at you with widened eyes.

*

"So, we stay until dark and sneak up on the building that has a right view towards the back where they take all the packages"

"And see what they are up to" you concluded.

"Sounds good to me, Steve?" Dustin, Robin and you looked expectantly at him.

He nodded "Yeah, let's do it"

You smiled at each other.

The ring of the bell in the counter made you turn away and Steve made his way out of the back room.

"I'm gonna go with him and help out" Robin said and walked out.

You waited until the door was closed and looked at Dustin

"Where are the others? Mike, Lucas and Will?" You asked

Dustin avoided your gaze and you immediately knew something was off.

"I don't know, they're probably busy or something"

"You know you can tell me anything Dusty"

He sighed.

"Mike's been with El all summer, he rarely stays with us all day, Lucas and Max haven't called or anything and Will only want to play Dungeons and Dragons, none of them really cared when I came back from camp and they haven't answered any of my calls either, even when I said it was code red"

He sounded sad and disappointed. You placed your hand on his shoulder and smiled warmly at him “You are not alone Dusty, you have us” he smiled.

"Do you want a hot dog on a stick?" He nodded and you walked out, Dustin trailing behind you with a smile.

"We'll be back in a bit!" You said and Robin and Steve nodded watching you both walk out of Scoops Ahoy.

The line was faster than you thought it'd be, and you told Dustin to sit with you on a bench before going back to Scoops Ahoy.

"You know Dustin"

He hummed as a sign for you to continue.

"I am really proud of you" you said "And I know I wasn't with you all this time and I-" your voice broke a little, eyes filling with tears and you tried to calm.

"It is not your fault, you know that" he said

"The point is, you have grown so much, and you've made awesome friends and some hero shit no one would do"

You smiled at him.

"I'm so proud of you and I love you so much"

"I love you too"

You finished the rest of your corn dog and walked back to Scoops Ahoy.

*

It was raining like crazy; you swore the sky was going to fall as you waited for the deliveries to arrive.

"I should've brought a jacket" you said and looked at Robin that seemed to be completely unbothered by the rain. You focused your attention somewhere to distract you from the cold. Your gaze fell on Steve, he was talking with Dustin about something you couldn't understand, you admired the way the rain fell down his face and lips and how his wet hair sticked to his face, he was really attractive. His lips always looked soft and his hair too, you'd be lying if you haven't thought about how his hair would feel between your fingers as you kissed...

You blushed hard trying to look somewhere else.

"They are coming!" Dustin said and you looked towards the mall.

Two guards were standing at the door heavily armed.

The delivery guy had the Chinese restaurant and shoe store boxes stacked in a cart as the guys let him through. The doors opened.

"It seems to be an elevator" Dustin said

"Lend me the binoculars, I want to see" Steve said and pulled them but Dustin did not let them go.

"Steve I am still using them" Dustin argued and you and Robin exchanged annoyed looks "Guys, stop, they'll see us" Robin said and the binoculars slipped from their grasps. They fell with a loud noise and the four of you hid as you grasped Steve's and Robin's hands tightly.

You locked eyes with Steve and quickly let go, still holding Robin's hand you said "Let's go, they'll probably come here to check" they nodded, and you scrambled away.

Once inside Steve's car you smiled

"I can't believe this is happening" Steve looked at you and smirked

"Welcome back to Hawkins" you smirked back as he said that.

"Can you stop flirting and drive? I am freezing"

With a blush Steve started the car and drove off.

"Let's play some music"

The familiar song filled your ears and you smiled "Is that my tape?"

"Maybe" he said with a shrug.

You sang the lyrics to Dance the Night Away by Van Halen quietly as your whole body shivered, you were freezing.

"My house is closer than yours, you can stay over and have a hot shower if you want" Steve said casually

"What about your parents?" you said.

"They are out of town" he answered "You don't have to if you don't want to"

You looked at Dustin, he was already asleep.

"Okay, we'll call my mom form your house to tell her"

Steve nodded "No problem"

You spent the rest of the ride in silence, looking out the window at the familiar scenery you never thought you’d miss this much. It was dark and the rain outside made everything feel peaceful as you sighed and relaxed.

Rain was falling less heavy as you arrived at Steve's house, you woke Dustin up and told him you were staying over at Steve's, he nodded tiredly and ran inside the house.

"You can place your wet shoes and socks here" Steve said and you followed him to a small coat room.

"The bathrooms are upstairs; I'll lend you some clothes"

You walked up the stairs as Steve disappeared inside his room. he came back with clothes for Dustin and told him to follow him.

Dustin walked away with Steve as you stood awkwardly at the staircase waiting for Steve.

"You can shower in my bathroom" Steve said walking hurriedly towards you, you followed him towards his room.

"I've already placed clothes inside for you, if you need anything call me" you smiled, he was such a worried dad.

He closed the bathroom door and you quickly undressed, you clothe heavy and soaked, you turned on the shower and stepping inside the warm water. You sighed at the feeling of your freezing body warming up. Your muscles relaxing as the hot water fell down your body.

Once done you wrapped yourself in a fluffy towel and dried up. You sat on the toilet and looked at the clothes Steve gave you: a pair of boxers, some pants and a hoodie. You brought them up to your nose and sniffed, the smelled like him and you smiled a little.

You walked out and you found Steve preparing a small bed on the floor next to the bed

"Where's Dustin?"

Steve looked up and eyed you up and down, you tried not to blush under his gaze.

"He's already asleep on my parent’s' bedroom" he said returning to his work "You can sleep on my bed, I'll be on the floor"

"You don't have to, you know?" you blushed and looked away from his gaze "We can share the bed if you want"

Rain was falling heavily again and the silence that filled the room felt deafening. 

"Yeah, okay, sure" he nervously answered.

You made your way towards the bed and got inside the covers; Steve did the same.

You were staring up at the ceiling, your body was exhausted but for some reason you couldn't sleep.

"Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"I can't sleep” you turned your body towards him, placing your arm under your head for a more comfortable position

"Me neither" he did the same and you smiled at each other "Can I ask you something?"

You nodded.

"Why did you move somewhere else?"

You sighed "When I was 9 my parents divorced" you said "My dad hated it and as some kind of revenge he picked me up at school one day and took me away, practically kidnapping me, he prohibited me any kind of communication with my mom or Dustin. He tried to get back with my mom using me as some kind of bait but my mom rejected him, so he started to get more aggressive towards me" you lifted your shirt a little to show Steve old bruises that were disappearing "It was really hard to grow up alone but I finally saved some money and came back"

"I'm sorry" he looked at you, genuine sadness filling his eyes

"I am afraid" you admitted "I don't want to lose my brother again, he's everything to me and if something happened to him and won’t be able to forgive myself"

"You really don't have to worry" he said "He's pretty smart and badass too, he told you about everything with the demodogs and that stuff, right?"

You nodded.

"Nothing's going to happen to him" he continued "Not on my watch" a few silent tears escaped your eyes and he wiped them away

"Thanks Steve"

He just smiled, you smiled back and moved closer to him, he wrapped his arms around you and you slowly fell asleep.

[rudemaidenswrite]

Can I Join You?

BY: @pusantheamazonian

Fandom: Stranger Things            Jim Hopper x Reader

Based on that tiny clip of season 3 trailer where Hopper is sitting alone at a restaurant.

It's been fifteen minutes waiting outside the restaurant alone and your brother still hasn't shown up yet. You had actually dressed up nice, in your favorite Y/F/C dress.

Not waiting anymore you head inside to the hostess stand. Before you can speak you see something that hurts your own heart. The man you saw entering the restaurant when you pulled in. Is sitting alone in the middle of the restaurant. It's obvious that whoever the other seat was reserved for is a no show. As if they've stood him up. He's not bad looking or anything, he's actually kind of adorable. In his peach and mint colored shirt and khaki jacket.

But it's when he angrily lights a cigarette you ignore the hostess and make a straight line to him. It's a sadness that you know too well.

"Hi. Um do you mind if I join you?" Nervously you point at the empty chair.

"What?" He looks up startled.

"Can I join you for dinner? I'm alone and it looks like you're alone. I thought you might like some company."

"Yeah.. sure."  Fumbling  he quickly straightens in the chair. "My name's Jim."

"Y/N." You give him a smile as you sit down.

"You from Hawkins?"

"No, I live just outside Upland."

"Ah Upland the fighting Rams. Hawkins and Upland were the biggest rivals."

"They still are for some reason." Nodding you awkwardly place the napkin in your lap.

"What brings you here?"

"My brother is here for work so I decided to come visit. He's the one who stood me up for dinner."

"Well… as you can see my date never showed." He gives an I'm definitely not stressed smile.

"Sorry about that." He instantly waves off your apology.

"It's not your fault but it's the last time I let a coworker set me up."

"See that's where you went wrong. Cause now it's going to be awkward at work."

"Yeah well that's how it goes."

The waiter appears and you both just radle off the first thing you see. Before this night becomes a disaster you might as well break the ice.

"Well do you live by yourself or have children?"

"A daughter."

"How old?"

"Thirteen."

"Oh I remember those days. Hormones and hating everyone." Nodding you take a sip of water.

Chuckling he pulls out a photo from his wallet.

"My daughter Jane." He shows you a picture of him and a brown haired girl. When he leans in you notice how his eyes soften when talking about her. She must be his whole world.

"Awe she's adorable! I'm loving the outfit." She is wearing a black romper with colored dinosaurs on it. "Is she relaxing at home tonight?"

"She's with her friends. Every Friday night they play DnD or whatever it is."  Shrugging he doesn't really remember the name.

"It's called Dungeons and Dragons, but most people call it DnD for short."

"You know what that is?" He's shocked, obvious by the way his eyes widened.

"Yeah I used to play it back in highschool. My character was a Ranger Changeling named Sirx. Who liked to pretend they were an elf." He gives you a confused look. "Older brothers."

"Older brothers can be a dangerous thing."

"Dangerous to some." Smiling you visibly see him relax. Which relaxes you.

The night goes on and the awkwardness goes away. You're chatting as if you haven't seen each other in years. Ignoring the time and looks from the staff as it gets late. It's not until the server puts the check down do you both look at the time. It's almost time for them to close.

You both reach for the check but you pull it away first. "No I got it. I intruded and asked you about dinner."

"I was already here. I can't let you do that." Shaking his head he reaches for it again.

"I said no." Giving him a stern look he finally backs off.

"You have a mean look. But I get the check next time."

"Next time?" Surprised you double check that he really just said that.

"Well yeah… if you want." Shrugging he avoids eye contact.

"I would love to."

After paying for the check and having him accompany you to the car. You swap numbers and hope he does call you next week. All the while trying to resist hungrily staring at his body.

~

Hopper is barely able to open the door.

"You're late." El states from the couch. Flipping through the TV channels. "Johnathan dropped me off."

"I know. Sorry that I didn't call." Taking off the jacket, he moves to grab a beer.

"How was the date?"

"Uh..they didn't show up." Shrugging he tossed the lid on the counter.

"Why are you late?" Ignoring the TV El turns around.

"Well that's the thing. I was going to leave when someone asked if they could have dinner with me. I said yes and that's why I'm late."

"You like them?"

"Yeah she seems nice and all but I don't know. The original date was just to get Flo off my back."

"Friends don't lie." El puts him on the receiving end of an angry stare.

"Yes…" Internally groaning he hates it when she pulls that card. "She's cute and I had fun. But I don't think now's the time for dating. We just got you enrolled in school and have to make sure you keep up."

"Everyone else has a Dad and Mom. But that's okay this is still home." With a huff and a little bit of a cold shoulder

"Seriously? You're starting a fight because you want someone else here?"

"Everyone has two parents except me and Will."

"Sorry, but I haven't been in a stable relationship for years."

"Why?"

".... After Sara… I-I blamed myself. I pushed everyone away and my wife divorced me."

"Divorce?"

"Uh to permanently leave, a government legal word meaning to stay away after two people don't want to be married anymore."

"Oh. Sorry."

"It's fine. Come on time for bed." Hop points.

"It's not a school night."

"Bed."

Groaning El sluggishly heads to bed grumbling about it being the weekend.

"Ah home sweet home." With a sigh he chugs the beer ready to hit the hay.

~

Unable to sleep Hop is up early making breakfast.

"Dad."

"What?"

"Mike and the rest are going to Crazy Pete's carnival tonight. Can I go?"

"How much? How long?"

"$10 for the ride pass. I don't know how long, but I figured I could stay with Max tonight. And you could call your date." Jim groans at the last comment. "What?"

"I'll make you a deal." El perks up when he turns. "You don't do anything dangerous or comment on my lack of dating. I will call her to see about another date after I drop you off."

"Deal."

"What's her name?"

"Y/N. Why?"

"Just wondering." El smiles sitting down at the table.

~

You're wandering around the carnival when you see Jim surrounded by a bunch of kids. Excited, you didn't expect to see him so soon. You notice one of the girls is his daughter. Approaching him you hear the conversation.

"Dude I'm a dollar short." The brown curly hair one says.

"Dustin!" Everyone groans.

"Well what do we have here? Six hoodlums whose low on funds and a grumpy father." You sneak up right beside Jim.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?" He about jumps out of his skin.

"Um it's a carnival? Why wouldn't I be here?" Holding back laughter you try to remain serious.

"See she gets it." Dustin sasses.

"What are you short a dollar for?" Nodding at the pile of coins.

"The unlimited ride pass." Another one says.

"Thought so, I'll be right back." Quickly walking to the ticket booth.

"Y/N? Is that her?" El now pesters.

"Yes."

"Who's Y/N?" Mike asks.

"My date last night." Hop grumbles.

Returning you hear the ooooooo's from the kids.

"Now let's see I have six wristbands and oh! Look there's six children here. How about we make a deal?"

"What kind of deal?" The redhead girl asks.

"How about you tell me your favorite color and you can have them."

"Blue." El blurts.

"And we have our first winner of the evening!" Smiling you hand a wrist band over. Once the others saw how serious you are. They couldn't say the color fast enough. Then like lightning they all bolt leaving you alone with Jim. One shouted later chief as they ran.

"You really got to stop that. You're going to make me look bad." Teasing you with a smile.

"Stop what?"

"Paying for everything."

"Eh don't worry about that, they're on the house."

"On the house? You work here?" Now he's confused.

"No. I work as a school secretary."

"Wait, does your brother work here?"

"Close. My brother owns the carnival."

"Owns the carnival? Crazy Pete is your brother?" He motions to the whole carnival.

"No. Crazy Pete is my uncle. My younger brother took over when he retired."

"You're not crazy. Good, just your brother and uncle."  Hop is a little jumbled at this news. You laugh at his response.

"No I'm not crazy… So what's with the whole Chief thing?"

"Oh I'm the chief of police here." Shrugging it off he starts walking waiting for you to catch up.

"Ah, so that's why people were staring even more when I sat down at dinner. Becoming the local gossip."

"Something like that. The old ladies say I don't play well with others and smoke too much, drink too much. Too much baggage."

"The normal reasons of gossip for any single people over twenty five."

"Yeah well I'm not twenty five." Huffing with a dissatisfied look. Obvious that he finds himself too old for this.

"Well what do you say? Want to take a walk around? Maybe hit the ferris wheel?" Eyebrows wiggling you hold up two more wristbands. Trying your best to instigate another date and just maybe some other less appropriate things. Cause he is still adorable as hell and the scruffy dad bod does things to you.

"Only if you win me a stuffed animal."

[izayoichan]

“I used to hate because of my father. But I have come to learn, magic is only as dangerous as those who use it. So... when I was a kid I set myself on fire... “

Rylan looks at River, oddly reminded of the first time he and his brother hurt someone with their spell, fireballing their own dad. 

“Me and Hayden hit our dad with a lava bomb in the chest, that's how we learned we had fire spells in us...As he is an ice dragon, we thought we killed him. He had a burn that looked like your scar for a very long time.”

Must have been terrifying.”

Touches his chest

“I also thought I was going to die when that happened. I was a kid, I wasn't even supposed to know magic already. My father wanted to be a sage of three schools, and wanted me to be like so, so he forced me to use untamed magic. Children don't use magic, but I did, I can mute cast, so I don't need to word spells or use a wand. I can just cast out of will. But, like normal magic, it sometimes backfires. My infernate spell backfired and I set myself on fire.” “Is that why your mom wants you to be a sage?”

He hears River sigh, leaning his head on his shoulder gently, these were just a whole lot of things he never knew anything about. 

“She blames herself, thinks it's her human blood that makes my magic wild. This isn't the first time it happens either. She thinks I need to become a sage, a proper spellcaster in order to control my magic.” “But that's not what you want right?” No... Not anymore.” 

Sighs and rubs arms. 

“Something happened... I... don't remember all of it... But I think I hurt someone.”

Rylan reaches out, putting a hand on Rivers, feeling the slight static that seems to be on his skin. 

“I... don't need to use words to call a spell, just a strong want to... And sometimes, especially when I am more emotional, my magic starts to burst out... And... I... I don't remember... But something happened, I think I hurt someone and... I don't remember... I don't even know why I was out there... all I remember is lightning and being electrocuted... And I know electrocuted myself... but... I think I hit someone else... “ 

His voice trails off as Lobo comes up to them, putting his head on River's lap, whining slightly wagging its tail as if to comfort him. 

“It hurts so much... I electrocuted myself and... someone else... but I'm a spellcaster and he wasn't...” “You never found out if they were okay? I mean, I'm guessing you were hurt pretty bad too so.. “ “My body is covered in those veins because of the electricity. Uncle Simeon said I hit myself with enough voltage as if I had been hit head-on by lightning... “ 

Rylan nods, knowing form watching the pain his brother has that he has an inkling of an idea how much it can actually hurt.

“ What I mean to say is... I have blamed me and my magic for this all endlessly.... but... I have come to understand, I cannot be blamed over something I have no control over. I train alone, I do better training and practicing on my own and I prefer to focus on the magic that can help others than harm... but I know there will be times it will backfire on me or get out of control” 

He looked over at Rylan who gives him a slight smile back, not quite sure what to say to all off it, but happy he told him.

“And at this point, I cannot be blamed for what might happen if I am driven to lose control over it...Your brother's condition... you have no control over it. Don't blame yourself.” “You sure you haven’t been talking to my dads... cause that last part was like listening to them... so no more missing school okay?” “I'll try not to, your highness. Who'd rescue his fair maiden on the next dungeon?“ “Still the game master, it's not my ass you'll be saving. Now come out with me for a bit.. we could both use the fresh air.”

He pulls River with him outside, the snow slowly falling around them, Rylan sitting on the fence watching some of the dogs play in the snow, Lobo joining them playing. 

“I do mean it though, don't get sent away.” “I won't, but if I get sent away, uncle Simeon will have a whole hand of work trying to keep me away from here.” “I'll hold you too that, boss.” “Wouldn't expect it any other way, princess.”

Rylan smiled at him, pulling him into a kiss, River turning around so they’re facing each other. 

“You are magical you know princess.” “I am?” “I never told anyone what I just told you.”

Rylan blushes slightly as he finds himself pulled into another kiss by River.

Begining - Previous - Next

[alindakb]

Letters to my Parents - Tuesday 22 November 1994 - by Alinda

Tuesday 22 November 1994

Dear mom and dad,

School is no fun anymore. Blaise isn’t talking to either me or Draco. He’s still angry about me getting into the tournament. He doesn’t believe that I didn’t enter myself. Greg and Daphne look like they are siding with Blaise on this, so they are avoiding us as well. And it’s not just them. The entire house is giving me angry looks all the time. They don’t really say anything, but it’s clear that they aren’t happy anymore with me becoming a champion. It’s because all the other houses see me as the person that is steeling Cedric’s glory. Even Professor Sprout seems distant towards me and the other Slytherins. At least Hagrid believes me, he told me so during our class where he had us walk the Blast-Ended Skrewts. Those things are out of control by the way. Draco is scared they are going to hurt one of us soon and that that will be the end of Hagrid’s teaching career.

Nott is having fun with me being a champion. He joked that everyone should get my autograph soon because there is no way I would survive the first task. Draco almost attacked Nott when he said that, but luckily Hermione and Ron helped to stop him. I don’t want Draco to get into trouble because of me. And that is not all, Nott tricked a seventh year Ravenclaw into making badges for the whole school. They say ‘Support Cedric Diggory - the real Hogwarts champion!’ and when you press the badge, the message changes into ‘Potter stinks!’ Almost all the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws wear them, and most of the Gryffindor’s do too. Only Hermione, Ron, Neville and Ron’s brothers Fred and George don’t wear them.

Nott offered one of the badges to Hermione but told her not to touch his hand, that he didn’t want it to get slimed up by a Mudblood. And that seemed to be too much for Draco. He reached for his wand and everyone around us was backing away. Nott also pulled out his wand. They both cast a spell. Draco went for Funnunculus and Nott used Densaugeo. Jets of light shot from both wands and hit each other in midair. They ricocheted off at angles, one hitting Crabbe who got great ugly boils on his nose. The other hit Hermione. Ron was next to her in seconds to help her. Her teeth were growing at an alarming rate, making her look like a beaver. This is when Snape arrived. He sent Crabbe and Hermione to the hospital wing and he gave Draco and Nott detention.

Hermione’s teeth are smaller now then they were before Nott made them grow with his stupid spell. She said that madam Pomfrey gave her a mirror when she shrunk Hermione’s teeth and that she told Hermione to tell her when they were back to there normal size. And Hermione just let them become a little less long then they used to be. I know she had been trying to convince her parents for ages to have them shrunk a little, and I’m glad she finally got what she wanted. She’s just a little upset that Ron hasn’t noticed yet. But Draco saved the day for him, by saying that it’s a good thing, that it means that Ron always thought that Hermione was beautiful.

And it isn’t only the students and teachers that make school suck. I had to go to this crazy wand weighing ceremony for the tournament. And that would have been fine if just Rita Skeeter hadn’t been there. She’s a journalist and she wanted to interview me. Mr Bagman said it was fine, so I kind of had no choice than go along with it. She took me into a broom closet so the others wouldn’t disturb us. And then she took out her Quick-Quotes Quill and started asking me questions. Only the quill didn’t write down anything I said. It just made up things, like that my eyes were filling up with tears when we talked about my parents. We didn’t even really talk about you, so why would I get teary-eyed. And she kept asking me why I entered. I said I hadn’t but she didn’t believe me.

I was glad when the door opened and the Headmaster told us it was time for the ceremony. Mr Ollivander was there to inspect our wands, making sure they are in good condition before the tournament. He first inspected Fleur’s wand, that contains a Veela hair that used to belong to her grandmother. So we were right in thinking she is part Veela.

He then went on to inspect Cedric’s and Krum’s wands, which were both fine. And then it was time for my wand. He took much longer inspecting my wand compared to the others. For a short moment, I was scared that he would tell the entire room about it’s connection to Voldemort’s wand. I was sure Rita Seeker would love to know that and put it in our stupid article. But luckily, Ollivander didn’t mention it and declared my wand in perfect condition.

That was the end of the ceremony and the Headmaster told us we could go down to the Great Hall to have dinner. But he had forgotten about the photographs. First, we had to take group shots. Seeker kept rushing forwards to make sure I was in a prominence potion. And then they wanted separate shots of all the champions. They took a million shots of me, much more compared to the other champions and it really bugged me. I wanted to tell Draco when I finally made it to dinner. Only Draco wasn’t there. I had to learn from Hermione that he was serving detention with Professor Snape because he got into a fight with some of the older Slytherins in the hallway.

When Draco finally made it back to the dormitory I was already in bed. I asked him why he had detention, but he didn’t want to tell me. I think the others had said something about me being a champion and with nobody there to stop Draco he most have finally lost it and attacked them. He’s been upset about it all for days now. And he snaps at people as soon as they open their mouth to say anything nasty about me.

And the article, you wouldn’t believe it if you read it. The only problem is, that most people do believe it. The article only focusses on me, it hardly on the TriWizard tournament. And Cedric isn’t even in it like he isn’t competing at all. Off course this pisses off everyone that isn’t a Slytherin. She made up most of it, quoting me on things I’ve never even said. Like how I get my strength from my parents and that I still cry about how you died. And she outed me and Draco to the entire wizarding world. I don’t know how she found out, but it was in the article how I was in a relationship with the young Mr Malfoy.

Well, I’m sure you will understand that Draco’s father wasn’t all too happy about that. That afternoon Draco got a very long letter from his father. It went on and on about how Draco was ruining the Malfoy name and that he should be ashamed of himself for showing these feelings to the world. He should know by now that even though he might think he loves me, that he will marry a good pureblood girl one day to continue the Malfoy name. Draco was really upset about the letter. He still pretends he doesn’t care what his father thinks of him and that he hates the man. But I can see that it’s hurting him when his father talks to him like he’s the biggest disappointment ever.

And that is not all. I’m nervous, like all the time. I feel like my whole life has been heading up to, and will finish with, the first task of this stupid tournament. And now that I know what the task is, it has only gotten worse. I have to go and face a dragon. A real dragon. And they are enormous and wild. I know this thanks to Hagrid. He made come to his cabin at midnight last weekend and asked me to take my cloak with me. Draco helped me get out of the dungeon close to midnight and then I was off to see Hagrid. When I got to his place he told me to follow him but to stay quiet and hidden under my cloak.

He led me to the Beauxbatons carriage. I wanted to ask what was going on, but Hagrid shhh’ed me. Then he went on a stroll with Madame Maxime. She also didn’t know where Hagrid was taking her. He told her not to tell anyone he showed her because she wasn’t supposed to know. It irritated me not knowing where we were going and having to run after Hagrid and Madam Maxime. And I almost turned around and went back to the dungeon to crawl into bed with Draco when I could hear men shouting up ahead. We walked around a clump of trees and then stopped. For a split second, I thought I was looking at bonfires, and men darting around them, and then my mouth fell open. Because the men were darting around four fully grown, enormous, vicious-looking dragons. Draco made me describe them both when I got back. He says it sounds like they have a Hungarian Horntail, a Common Welsh Green, a Swedish Short-Snout and a Chinese Fireball.

On my way back I also saw Karkaroff spying on the dragons. I knew then that all the champions would know about them, except Cedric. I told Draco and Hermione that we had to go find a way to tell him. In the end, Hermione just walked up to him when he was alone for a second and told him. She said he was very grateful when she told him. When he asked her why she was telling him, she told him that I said it was only fair that all the champions would know beforehand.

We’ve been in the library ever since Saturday. Hermione and Draco are sure we will find a spell that will help me get past a dragon. Krum is always here. It drives Hermione crazy. Because when Krum comes into the library, a hurt of girls come in a little later, making noise and staring at Krum all the time.

But the weirdest thing that has happened in the last couple of weeks is the way Professor Moody is trying to get on my good side again. He hasn’t said a nasty word about Draco in class ever since I talked to Professor Snape about him. And just last night he pulled me aside because he wanted to talk to me. He said he had seen that I had been studying dragons and that it was clear that I had figured out the first task. And then he went on to give me some general advice because he doesn’t show favouritism (it appears he only shows favouritism when it comes to people he doesn’t like). His advice was to play to my strengths. I told him I was good a Quidditch, and braiding Draco’s hair, but that I couldn’t see how any of those would help me get passed a dragon. I might be good at flying, but I wouldn’t have a broom on my, only my wand. And then Moody said: ‘My second piece of general advice is to use a nice, simple spell that will enable you to get what you need.’ So ever since then, we’ve been practising summoning charms, so that I can summon my broom on Saturday to get past the dragon.

I just hope I can manage it before Saturday. I would hate to not have a game plan when I have to face that dragon.

Love you both,

Harry James Potter.

[leafgreen6]

Two Worlds Collided- A collab with @books-of-lunacy

Did a writing exercise with @books-of-lunacy​ where we each wrote half a story, in our character’s points of view. After the war is over, Jack Montro and Jade Starr visit Aliee Horebath on their planet. 

“I’ll be right there, Jade.” Jack eased onto a bench in the alien city on the strange planet. His years were starting to weigh on him.

A young girl ran out in front of him, and planted herself right in front of Jack, staring up at the strange man.

“Alice!” A woman called, presumably her mother. “Don’t bother him!"

“It’s all right,” Jack said. “Cute kid. How old are you?”

"She's just turning-"

  "I'm six! It's my birthday today!"

“Well, happy birthday.”

"What do you say?" Aliee looked down at her bubbling daughter. 

"Thanks! Happy birthday to you too!"

Jack laughed, harder than he had in a long while. “It’s not my birthday. But, thank you. Let me see…” He dug into his pocket and pulled out a gold coin, “You take this. Spend it on whatever your mom says you’re allowed to have.”

"Huh. I haven't heard of anyone using gold coins for… centuries. You're not from here either." Aliee sits on the bench next to Jack, telling Alice to go play with her friends. "Where are you from?"

“Through a portal. A magic world called Mahica. Fairies, Mermaids, Dragons- Those are recent.”

"Mermaids, huh? What I wouldn't give to be with them right now." Aliee laughed softly. "You seem tired."

Jack nodded, “I am tired. I’m going on a hundred and twenty years old. Can’t keep up with the Princess anymore. I may have told your kid a slight lie… Believe it or not, it’s my birthday too. But I don’t celebrate. Hard to, when you don’t have family left.”

"A hundred and twenty, and no kids, no wife? Well, you're welcome to come home with Alice and I, my husband is making dinner for us." Aliee smiled brightly, standing and offering her hand to Jack.

Jack looked back at Jade, who was on top of a building, investigating a strange light. He wasn’t even going to wonder how she got up there. Only hope the kid didn’t see. “I’ll take that meal. You can tell me your story, and I’ll tell you mine.”

"My story is hardly fun, but fair's fair. Let's get out of here before my daughter inevitably sees your friend climbing like a spider." Aliee glanced up pointedly.

Jack laughed, and with a flick of his wrist, Jade was slowly floating to the ground, with her good arm on her hip.

“Why’d you do that? I was safe!” 

“A friend invited us to have dinner. You can play with the kid. You have a lot in common.”

"Hi. I'm Aliee, this is my daughter, Alice." Aliee smiled once again, holding her hand out to Jade. 

"Hi! It's my birthday today!" Alice chimed in.

Jade frowned at Alice, “Hi… Jack, you know I don’t do well with kids.”

“You wrangled Luke and Cayden just fine,” Jack laughed, and the duo followed Aliee down the path and to her house.

*

Once inside the bright home, Alice ran up to Tel'iah, excitedly showing him the gold coin in her hands. 

"Impressive. I'll bet it was those new friends of ours who gave it to you, huh? Did you thank them?" Tel'iah glanced up and nodded his head at Jack and Jade. 

"Oh…" Alice turned around and sheepishly thanked the pair for the coin. 

"Go clean up. You're a mess from playing all day." Aliee chuckled and lead her to the stairs. Returning to the table, she kissed Tel'iah's cheek and introduced the tall alien to their guests. 

A pleasure to meet you,” Jade said. “I’m Princess Jade Starr, and this is Captain Jack Montro.”

"Oh! You're a Princess? Oh I wish I had known! I would have tried to clean up the house a little better." Aliee jumped from her chair to start clearing the table of papers and dishes. 

“Don’t go to the trouble,” Jack laughed. “Jade is notorious for being messy. Her staff has to prepare two dresses for every event, because she destroys them. Whether it’s a bad spell, or a bad fight… Blood, climbing things she’s not supposed to.”

Jade narrowed her eyes at him, “I’m going to go annoy the kid, because obviously, I’m not welcome at the adult table.”

Aliee hesitantly sat back down, blinking rapidly. "Well… what just happened?"

“She’ll be fine,” Jack sat down across from Aliee. “So, what’s your story?”

"Where should I begin? There's not much to tell, honestly." Aliee shrugged modestly, trying to ignore the snort from Tel as he stirred a bubbling pot of food.

“You’re obviously not from this world. So, where’d you come from?”

"Actually that might be a long story in itself. We came from Earth, a long, long, long time ago. The people there built a massive spaceship. Called her the Exodus. So many people hoped for their lives to change on that ship, and it did. Since it was a colony ship, they had kids. Those kids had kids and a couple decades later, the last generation was born on that ship. My-" Aliee swallowed thickly and looked down at her hands. "My brother and I were part of that generation. We would be the ones to inhabit this planet and make it our own." 

She glanced up at Tel, grinned and looked back down. "We didn't know there was someone here already. By the time we found out, it was too late. A virus in the computers destroyed the Exodus, and most of us… well only a few people made it this far. Alice was about four then."

“My family died too,” Jack said. “My mother died when I was a boy- Killed herself after my father, a man I am ashamed to call my father, broke her Genie Bottle. I found her body. I was thrown out of the tribe, joined the war- Met my wife. She was a nurse,” he smiled softly, “Used to yell at me all the time for getting myself hurt. At first, they were accidents, but I may have taken a punch or two I could have avoided, just to see her face. We had a kid, one I spent my entire life searching for. She’d been tossed in the dungeons because she wanted humans to be treated fairly. See, where I come from, humans are seen as weak, mindless creatures. I’ve never heard of humans going to war for a hundred years. She had our kid in the dungeons, and he was taken before I even knew he was a boy.” Jack took a deep breath, “I met Jade, and through her, the boy I found out was my son. We, um, we don’t really have a relationship now. I do have a grandson though. Just a baby, he is.”

"Well, one, humans are about as far from mindless as one can get." Tel said, setting plates of steaming meat, rice, tuber roots and fruit on the table. "And from what Aliee has told me, war is just another facet of life they dealt with on earth." Looking down at Aliee, he smiled and added: "And I certainly know how well this one fights. Since dinner is ready, I'll go get Alice and Mylo. And our princess."

"Well, he's not wrong, at least. I do hope those two haven’t entirely devoured her."

“Jade’s strong. She likes to pretend she doesn’t do so well with kids, but she’s got a little girl at home. Kaida’s her name. You and your husband are right- Humans are an amazing creature. They’re strong, powerful in more ways than one. In fact, one of the most respected queens I’ve ever seen was raised like a human. And she brought glory to our world. You know, Aliee—” Jack smiled softly, “You’re a smart girl. And you’ve got a story worth telling. At least, it was one this old soul was happy to hear.”

"Well, I'm glad I could give you some joy. I'm sorry you say you have no family today. I certainly think you do, in that princess. Speaking of, where are they? It shouldn't take so long to get a toddler and a princess down here, should it?" As Aliee started to stand, Alice ran down the stairs, soaking wet with Tel'iah equally wet and carrying Mylo.

Jade tried to slip into a seat beside Jack, but he shoved her back. “I know exactly what you and your magic did, Princess, so you’re going to use it to dry those folks off.”

With a grumble and a few curse words under her breath, Jade waved her hand and drew all of the water from Alice’s clothes and hair.

"Mama! She can do magic! She made a duck! Out of water! But dad opened the door… and he got wet!" Alice giggled, making wild hand movements. 

"Well, I imagine that must have been a sight to behold." Aliee smiled at her daughter. "So I take it you must be one of those Mermaids Jack was talking about." 

“I’m more than a Mermaid. I’m Princess of Mermaids. I rule all of the Mermaids, and the ocean, and to be fair, it wasn’t entirely my fault the water got everywhere. However, your bathroom is clean, so... We’re even?”

Aliee laughs, snorting. "Well if it means I don't have to give a bath to Alice, I'll take it. Princess of the entire ocean? That's… impressive. I can't say I'm jealous." 

"That, my dear, is a lie." Tel muttered as he fed a spoonful of rice to Mylo. 

"Well.. okay fine. I might be a little jealous that she can swim underwater. As much as she wants. I wish I could do that." Aliee started handing plates and bowls of food to Jack and Jade. 

Jade pulled the remaining water from Tel’s clothes and pressed her hand into a fist. “Jack, if you will.”

He snapped his fingers and the water materialized into a silver necklace.

“Visit us anytime,” Jade held the necklace out to Aliee. “Press a hand to it, and you can visit Mahica whenever you’d like.” She smirked at Alice, “Kaida could use a bad- I mean good influence every once in a while.”

"I swear, if I find out my wife decides to move into your world, I might actually have a fit. Your offer may be too much temptation for her. She might never come back." Tel'iah groaned, but reached a hand to hold Aliee's. 

"I would always come back. Not just for you but… for Avren as well." Aliee suddenly fell quiet. "Amazing how the dead can hold too much sway on the living, isn't it?"

Jack nodded, “But, they make us appreciate the living, all that much more.”

"That is true. Well, eat up. I'm sure you have a long night of climbing buildings, Princess." Aliee shook her head and smiled. 

"Climbing what?" Tel'iah choked, staring at Jade.

Jack smirked knowingly at Aliee. “That’s a story for another day.”

[maiden-of-wolves]

OC’s as Inquisition Companions

Name: Ariel Grace

Race / Class / Specialization: Human / Archer, then must switch to daggers or sword/shield when her glasses break/are broken / Tempest (or Ranger, if we’re allowed to use other game’s specializations…)

Gender Identity: Female; she/her

Varric’s Nickname for them: Pixie

Short Bio: Having grown up with fantasy stories and playing games to escape her ever-mediocre life back home, she was very familiar with Dragon Age. Impressively so, by some people’s measure. Now, she’s here and she has no idea what to do about it. She finds that she has to relearn how to read and becomes ill often because she has not encountered the diseases of Thedas. Another curiosity is that she appears to either reflect or absorb magic, essentially making her immune to both offensive and defensive/restorative magic. She is able to expel it as well, but it often comes out as a different element than was used on her and is hard for her to control in the beginning.

What would their companion card look like?

<<Death Tarot>>

Recruitment Mission: It is an optional war table mission. It’s next to Haven on the map and is simply a notification from Solas about having gotten notice from scouts of an unusual rift. And that he needs to see them as soon as possible. If you choose to “Go to” you will go outside and towards the dungeons and Solas will come up dragging a bound Ariel with him.

Basically, she appears near Haven and is found by a scouting party before you decide to look for help from either the Mages or Templars. She’s taken to Haven’s dungeons and interrogated by Cassandra and Solas. Mostly Solas. He brings her to the Inquisitor to have them decide what to do with her, citing that she seems to have foreknowledge of the world, but he cannot place how she came there or even what she is. You will have the option to allow her to join the Inquisition or to kill her. If you don’t choose the mission, she will simply starve/freeze in the Haven dungeons.

Where would they be in Skyhold / Haven?

In Haven, she would be near the mines area you fall in while escaping or in the clinic, being treated.

In Skyhold she’d be in the library, with Varric in the hall, by the stables talking with the horses or with Dagna (if you recruit her) in the Underforge.

Quest 1: <<TBD>>

Quest 2: <<TBD>>

Quest 3: <<TBD>>

How to get their approval:

Help “the little guy” (aka people that are down on their luck and need help, beggars, slaves seeking freedom, etc.); Be curious, since she very much wants to know everything she can (if she doesn’t already know about it from the codex entries); Be snarky to nobles or those that are snarky with you; help/be nice to your fellow companions.

How to get their disapproval:

Protect nobility at the expense of those beneath them; turning a blind eye in exchange for gold; flirting with others if you are in a relationship (with her or anyone else); being abrasive when you could have saved people by being diplomatic/clever.

Are they romanceable?

Yes! By men and women, (race gated against dwarves and qunari - Sorry! T_T) but you will need to go VERY easy on the flirting for a while if you’re a lady. She’s not had a physical relationship with a woman before, but is open to the idea.

Can you have sex with them?

Only if you’re on friendly terms; none of this ‘rivalmance’ nonsense. If you’re on her blacklist, she’d rather stick some acid on your lips than kiss them.

Are they open to polyamoury?

Only if it’s talked through and everything is out in the open. She will be very upset for quite a while if you just randomly decide to add another person. And she will be VERY hesitant to join an already established relationship because she needs reassurance that she’s worthwhile.

If they can be romanced and are not will they begin a relationship / relationships with other characters? If so, who?

If Cullen isn’t being romanced, she’d probably start one with him. She’d be there for him during his lyrium withdrawal episodes and sing him back to sleep when he woke.

If Zevran was there and not romanced with the Warden, she’d go for him; same with Fenris not romanced by Hawke.

Who are they friendly with?

Varric is her best friend (except the Inquisitor, if they’re good to her).

The Iron Bull and she get along well; he’s curious about her and likes teasing her.

She likes reading those smutty novels with Cassandra and encourages her so she can “practice reading” ;P.

She and Cullen will be all but kindred spirits in temperament and will get along well; she invents a potion that tastes like lyrium to help his withdrawal (like a kind of placebo). She will also question him about his views on mages and remind him of how he used to talk about them. She wants him to really grow as a person, not just be forgiven for who is was and no follow-up made.

Dorian and Ariel have a kind of love-hate relationship, since he loves to tease her/play flirt and enjoys her easy-to-blush nature far too much. Still, she respects him for trying to change Tevinter and since she spends a lot of time in the library they’re near each other a lot. They often have discussions he has a hard time stomaching about his homeland (usually regarding slavery).

She respects Josephine but the Antivan is very confused by Ariel’s venomous reaction to nobility considering her background.

She also respects Leliana’s abilities but they argue over the Chantry and faith when either topic comes up.

She both likes and hates Cole. She appreciates that he helps people and often asks him to help her help people, but she hates when he reads her.

She likes Blackwall and they often discuss his past (after she reveals she knows) and she encourages him to just atone as Blackwall. She affectionately calls him “Dad” because he reminds her of her father and often gives her fatherly advice, especially about combat.

Who do they dislike?

She knows what Solas wants to do and she hates him for it. They often argue about it, as she’s trying desperately to change his mind. Still, he helps her manage her odd abilities and helps her deal with her odd relationship to the Fade.

Though in goal/opinion they are very similar, she dislikes Sera. She sees her as little more than a snotty brat with a vicious temper and a deplorable liking for “pranks”.

She dislikes Vivienne on principle, as she’s a noble in every aspect and enjoys that life. Eventually, she comes to respect her and it is somewhat mutual.

Cole’s reading:

“Thoughts… so much. Home. It’s not a game anymore. I can’t say it. What’s the point of knowing… if you can’t change it?”

Companion card changes

Loyalty:

<<Temperance Tarot>>

Romance:

<<TBD>>

Side Mission:

<<TBD>>

When nearing a hidden item:

“Looks like things have been disturbed here...”

When seeing a high dragon:

“Well, great! There’s death coming from every possible direction now.”

Or, if The Iron Bull is in the party:

“...No, Bull. I’m not dying today.”

Side quest reaction(s):

<<TBD>>

Low health:

“Some help would be nice!”

“I wonder...where I’ll go…”

The Inquisitor falls:

(If friendly/romanced) “NO! I won’t let you go!”

(If neutral) “Our Inquisitor needs us!”

(If low approval) “You can’t give up!”

Greeting(s) / Goodbye(s)

Low approval:

“What do you want now?”

“Yeah, you go have fun elsewhere. I’ve got actual work to do.”

Neutral approval:

“Do you need something?”

“Okay. Bye then.”

Friendly:

“Oh, hey! What’s up?”

“Let me know if you need anything else. I’ll be around.”

Romanced:

“O-oh. Uhm… hi!” o///o

“Hope you can spare some time for me later. I’ve… really missed you.” >////>

Opinions on mages / templars / how the world is going to shit?

She’s very much against mages murdering people to retain their freedom, but she is equally against all the abuses that templars had heaped upon them to bring them to this point.

She thinks the rebel mages could be brought to heel and likes the idea of them creating the College of Enchanters, outside the Chantry’s influence, and wants all mages to be free but to be taught how to control their magic and punished appropriately when they do not.

She knows the Templars are useful, but doesn’t like them as an order controlled by the Chantry. She wants them to be disbanded and made into a separate type of guardsman everywhere so mages could live as normal people but still be brought to heel if they went all abomination or killed someone/manipulated them with magic.

She knows what created the breach so she has to keep her mouth shut about it and thus doesn’t like talking about it.

Something guaranteed to make them leave the party?

If you help slavers, take a bribe to turn a blind eye or kill innocents.

                                          Imprisoned at Redcliffe

How is your OC holding up in Redcliffe, being slowly infected with red lyrium over the course of a year?

She heaves this incredibly dramatic sigh when she sees the Inquisitor. Basically just says, “FUCKING FINALLY, GET ME OUT OF THIS CELL.” She’s not infected but it’s been trying for so long that she’s weak as all hell from it stealing her energy.

                                                      The Fade

How they react:

Awe and nervousness. She dreams of this place but the interactions are all different. She is normally protected by spirits, who found her first as she slowly mastered her ‘gift/curse’ and became visible to the other denizens. She may have several whisps following her about as you wander, as they recognized and found her, but they are scared and weakened in the Nightmare’s territory.

Their tombstone:

Being Nothing but a Burden

What fears look like:

Goliath Tigerfish

“Okay, this is fucked up. I know this is the Fade and the laws of normal existence don’t apply, but still! You need water to swim, not air!” ~points accusingly at an approaching nightmare~ “Stop snappin’ your jaws at me you assholes!”

What the Nightmare says:

“And here is the talk of the Fade. The anomaly. The stranger in a strange land.” ~deep, booming laughter~ “Your spirits cannot save you here, child. I have long wondered what kind of creature you would become were I to claim you…”

OR, if romanced:

“Ah, the anomaly. Do you truly know what will happen here? I will tell you, since you crave knowledge. Your beloved will die and I will throw you back to suffer. Wilt away in your guilt and despair. You will feed me and my brethren for years to come, wallowing in it until it is all you know… just like your father.”

Hawke or Warden:

She understand the reasons for both

There will be a minor approval drop for choosing the Warden (large if it is a romanced Alistair)

If Hawke romanced Fenris, there will be a major approval drop

If Hawke romanced anyone else or remained alone, there will be a minor approval drop

The Wardens - Exile or Allies?

Again, she understand the reasons for both. Only a minor approval drop for exile and minor approval boost for making them allies.

                                                     Halamshiral

Where they linger:

If she’s not romanced she’ll probably be near Cullen, engaging him in conversation in order to help keep the “suitors” at bay.

If she or Cullen is romanced she’ll be seeking shelter with Varric and tells you to hurry up so she can get the hell out of this viper’s nest.

Are they good at the Game?

She could be, if she wanted to be. She knows how she just hates using the skills she was brought up with as a child of an upper-middle class family back home.

What people say about them:

(if neither she nor Cullen were romanced)

“Why must that homely girl take up the Commander’s time? Doesn’t she realize her betters need to speak with him?”

(if the Inquisitor romanced her)

“The Inquisitor keeps such homely company… I can’t see why there are rumors about them. She is unremarkable and abrasive.”

“Who is that mouse beside Master Tethras? A fan of his work?”

Gaspard, Briala or Celene?

Briala and Celene together! Always. OTP. Major approval boost for this option.

She’ll give a minor approval boost for Briala blackmailling Gaspard or Celene ruling alone.

Will have a major approval drop for allowing Gaspard to rule alone.

                                                Temple of Mythal

Rituals or Hole?

Ritual. This is their place and you must respect it. Plus, she knows that you’ll get there before it’s too late even if you take the time and knows how to do the puzzle.

Agree with the Elves’ bargain?

YES. She hates having to kill anyone if there’s another way… unless they’re assholes. Abelas kind of is, but not enough to justify being killed. Plus, it’s easier to get where you’re going if you accept and she will be taking photos of the murals and stuff you find along the way for safekeeping/inspection later.

Morrigan or the Inquisitor for the Well?

She leaves it up to the Inquisitor if they’re not involved.

If romanced or if they are friends, she will tell the Inquisitor that they really don’t want to take it in and to let Morrigan do it. “It will be helpful… you just don’t want the burden. Trust me.”

                                                    Trespasser:

Depending on who she’s with, she’ll have done different things.

If she was romanced by the Inquisitor she’d be busy helping with the Inquisition. Creating new tools/helping advance medicine for non-mages as well as mages/trying to recreate basics from home like running water that anyone can install on their houses. She’d go with them to the Exalted Council if asked and will be able to tell them about what’s going on if they asked/wanted to know. She could also be told to stay behind and use her knowledge of the attending nobles to help Josephine.

If she wasn’t romanced by the Inquisitor and Cullen wasn’t romanced, she would be assisting him. She would have expanded her making of the placebo to give to all the Templars that wanted to be off of lyrium. She will likely have also worked with advancing medicine and providing basic improvements to people’s lives. Again, if asked, she would attend the Exalted Council. If not, Cullen will likely ask her to come just to help him retain his sanity. He will ask her to marry him there, as he would have the Inquisitor. She would happily find the Inquisitor to let them know and tell them they need to survive so they can all meet up again for a proper party and feast for the wedding when they get back to Ferelden.

If Zevran was around she’d help him in dealing with the Crows and set up a library where she takes in and “homeschools” recruits that he liberates from the Crows. She’s soon surrounded by children and is unable to attend the Exalted Council. Before she left the Inquisition she acquired a pair of sending crystals so that no matter where she was the Inquisitor could get a hold of her if necessary. She will advise them on what to do if they ask.

If Fenris was around, they’d travel about tracking down slavers and eventually attempt to lead a slave uprising in Tevinter. Since, by the end of her tale she’d be a powerful proper mage she could do reconnaissance in full view and not be thought much of. She would have given the Inquisitor one of a pair of sending crystals to keep in contact and would offer her knowledge if asked during the Exalted Council. In Tevinter, she tips off the right people and kills those that won’t help and then Fenris inspires slaves to rise. She’d meet Dorian on his way back and chuckle, saying, “time to put out the fires and start again. I did the easy part. The rest is up to you.” She’ll probably get hit for that.

I’ll probably add more at some point. Still can’t decide about her side quests... so that’ll have to wait.

[assholemurphy]

Had Enough

Also on AO3

Stranger Things

Steve/Jonathan

Summary: After another incident of abuse against the party, Steve gets pissed off and tells Jonathan what he's been up to. Hearing about the abuse pushes Jonathan over the edge and he decides to send him a warning, but they're interrupted by Billy, who starts a fight. In the aftermath and clean up, Jonathan and Steve discuss their relationship.

Written for Stonathan Week 2017 - Prompt: Monster Hunting

Rating: Teen

Word Count:  

Warnings: Violence, Homophobia, Slurs, Referenced Child Abuse

Steve knew he liked Jonathan, a hell of a lot, but the second he said “Let’s go. I’m tired of Billy’s shit,” he knew he was in love.

Most people, when confronted with Billy’s bullshit and abuse, simply suggested going to the cops or telling a parent and having them deal with it, and nothing against Hopper or the party’s parents – with the exception of Mr. Wheeler, he could choke as far as Steve was concerned – but that wasn’t going to help the situation. Billy wasn’t going to listen to authority figures talking diplomacy, he only understood when you spoke his language, and Jonathan seemed to be the first person to really understand that. So, when Steve had grumbled that they needed to do something about him, he hadn’t expected anyone to agree, but Jonathan had, and it proved to Steve that he was, once again, the man of his dreams. A man of action.

However, as he knew from experience, it took a lot to get Jonathan angry, even more to get him angry to the point of willingly going along with what could only be called violent disturbing of the peace, but after Steve had told him what Will had told him on the car ride home, he was ready to commit murder. Billy really should have known not to mess with the younger Byers, but Billy and Jonathan hadn’t really met, so he supposed it wasn’t Billy’s fault for not understanding the rage of an older brother who had literally just gotten his brother back only to find out he was being bullied by a near-adult.

It wasn’t just his abuse of Will, he was fucking with the whole party, especially Max and Lucas because Billy was, as Steve had so eloquently put it “A racist pile of steaming horseshit.” And he’d really done it this time, because Lucas had gotten hurt in the process, which was the catalyst for Steve’s anger. That bastard had followed the party home from school after Max had ditched him to hang out at the arcade with her friends, and ran them off the road again. Steve hadn’t known about the first time until this evening, or this would have most likely happened a lot sooner. Billy had almost hit Lucas, purposely chasing him down for longer up until the point when he swerved to avoid being hit and went head first into a tree, leaving him with a rather large bump, which Steve had worried might have been a concussion, but after multiple reassurances from both Dustin and Will, had calmed down enough to realize that it wasn’t anything too serious. He had a few bruises, as well, and a couple scrapes on his face, but he had insisted he was fine and didn’t need Steve to baby him.

The party had done their best to calm Steve down and had succeeded in stopping him from going directly to Billy’s house and getting his ass handed to him almost immediately. It wasn’t until he’d brought Will home after a night of Dungeons and Dragons, that he’d met up with Jonathan and they’d collectively decided that something had to be done. Steve brought Will home most nights, because Ms. Byers still didn’t want him riding his bike home at night, which was understandable, so Steve had volunteered, partly because he liked Will, but mainly because it gave him a chance to see Jonathan, and it worked out just as well, because Steve was already at the Wheeler household studying with Nancy.

Nancy and Steve had made up and were on better terms, both realizing they weren’t the best for her, and she was helping him with his college essays, so he could potentially get in next year. He was aiming for somewhere in New York, so he could follow Jonathan, and he was willing to work as hard as he needed to get in. Which meant a lot of study sessions and plenty of rewritten essays. He was getting better, though, and he was sure he’d have it right by time for early consideration.

He’d been there for her when she and Jonathan had broken up a few months prior. Jonathan had broken it off, not really giving much of a reason beyond he didn’t think he was what she needed. Steve had been not so subtly trying to flirt with him ever since. It was no secret that Steve was bisexual, at least, not from the trio, anyway. Steve didn’t go around telling everyone, but Nancy had figured it out from the way he stared at Jonathan and, now that they weren’t dating anymore, she fully supported him in his endeavor to get Jonathan Byers to go out with him. The only problem was that Steve was too scared to ask him. They had a great friendship going and he didn’t want to ruin it. Nancy had assured him he wouldn’t, though, and so he’d gotten bolder in his attempts at wooing him.

Now, after a long conversation with Will about Billy’s abuse and how often it happened, which turned out to be at least weekly, and he was attacking the whole party, even shoved Will into a wall at the theater one day when he was with Mike and called him a fag. Will had had to restrain Mike to keep him from going after him, which would not have ended well. Jonathan was understandably pissed when Steve had told him.

“We need to do something about this motherfucking prick,” Jonathan all but growled as he opened the door of his house, ushering Steve out into the warm night’s air.

Steve snorted, “Wow, Jonny, I’ve never heard you use such strong language before.”

“Shut up and get in the car,” Jonathan told him before pausing, “You still got my bat?”

“It’s my bat now, and yes, it’s in my trunk,” Steve confirmed. He’d kept it around and had no intention of letting it go any time soon. That bat would come with him to college if necessary. He wasn’t taking any chances with the Upside Down.

“Then we’re taking your car. Keys?” Jonathan held up his hand, waiting for Steve to give them to him.

“It’s my car!”

“Keys,” Jonathan demanded ,and Steve raised his eyebrows but tossed him the keys.

“I love it when you get all bossy,” Steve flirted. Truthfully, Steve was a little too happy to see Jonathan in overprotective big brother mode. Not only was it hot, but it made him feel saner, since he wasn’t the only one Billy was pissing off.

They drove towards Billy’s house as soon as Steve gave him directions. He’d had to pick Max up a few times when her brother’s abuse got too bad. Steve took the time to go through Jonathan’s mix tape collection as one of them played, blaring out The Smiths. “You make these?”

“Yeah,” Jonathan nodded.

“What’s a guy gotta do to get one?”

“I don’t know. Why? You want one?” Jonathan asked, looking over at Steve as he went through the tapes.

“A little bit, yeah,” Steve admitted.

“Would you actually listen to it? It’s not gonna be some Cyndi Lauper bullshit, you know that, right?”

“I figured. I’ll listen to it.”

“Why do you want one?”

“Because-” Because I want to know what songs you associate with our friendship, with me. “I don’t know, I just want one. Nancy got one.”

“I was dating Nancy,” Jonathan pointed out.

Steve smiled and turned his head towards Jonathan, not joking as much as he wished he was, “Are you saying I have to date you to get a mix tape? Because if that’s the price I gotta pay-”

Jonathan snorted and shook his head, “I’ll make you one.”

Steve grinned as they pulled up to Billy’s place, but it soon disappeared when Jonathan parked the car. They had business to attend to and now was not the time for flirting.

Jonathan immediately went to the trunk to pull out the bat. Billy’s car was in the driveway and as soon as Jonathan had the bat in his hands, Steve knew what was about to happen. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Probably not,” Jonathan shrugged. Needless violence wasn’t like him, but as far as he was concerned, this wasn’t needless at all. Billy needed to learn who the fuck he was messing with and it didn’t look like anybody else was willing to step up.

“We could get arrested!” Steve hissed, starting to regret the decision to come. If they were just going to confront Billy, it would be one thing, but this could get them in serious trouble.

“Okay, first off, my mom’s dating the chief, we’ll be fine. Secondly, we’ll just tell them everything Billy’s been doing to the kids and he’ll get in even more trouble, so there’s no way in hell he’ll call the cops,” Jonathan assured him, making his way to Billy’s car.

“Sound logic,” Steve sighed, feeling a little bit better, but still wary of the task at hand. He had to admit, it would be a very powerful message to send.

Jonathan nodded and lifted the bat over his head, smirking at Steve before bringing it down on the car’s windshield. The resulting sound of glass cracking shook the quiet neighborhood. Jonathan brought it down a couple more times until the windshield was destroyed. He stood back to admire his work. Billy’s windshield was completely shattered and caved it. He didn’t do it often, but when he did get angry, he made it count. “There. A warning.”

Jonathan started back towards the car, ready to go when the front door of the house opened. Steve realized way too late that if Billy’s car was here, then that meant he was here, too. “Shit.”

“Yeah,” Jonathan breathed out, his hand on the door’s handle.

“What the fuck did you do to my fucking car? What the hell?” Billy exploded out the door, running to his car to check out the damage. He pushed the hair back from his forehead, not quite believing what he was seeing. He shook his head, trying to process what had happened. “My dad’s gonna kill me.”

“Steve.” Jonathan urged, trying to get Steve’s attention, but Steve was completely focused on the horror story unfolding in front of them.

“He’s gonna kill me, and it’s all your fault,” Billy snarled before charging towards Steve, giving him a look that froze him in place.

“Steve! Steve, get in the car!”

He heard Jonathan, but he couldn’t do anything. He was like a deer in headlights and Billy was the oncoming car about to end his life. Well, he supposed it had been a good one. Sure, he had a few regrets, but what were they in comparison to this one?

“Harrington. I’m going to fucking kill you!”

“Steve, car!”

Steve stayed frozen as Billy stopped in front of him. He had all of two seconds to flinch before Billy’s fist connected with his face and he tasted blood in his mouth. The side of his face exploded with pain and he vaguely heard Jonathan yelling in the background.

“Don’t you fucking touch him!”

Billy got in a couple more hits, bloodying Steve’s nose and catching him under the eye before he was dragged off him, Jonathan pulling him away.

Steve blinked, getting his bearings and taking in the scene before him. Jonathan and Billy stood toe to toe, Billy shouting obscenities and Jonathan giving him a look of barely concealed rage.

Steve couldn’t tell who swung first, but within seconds, fists were flying. Jonathan clearly had the upper hand, more in control of himself than Billy could ever be, his anger wasn’t getting the better of him. Billy got in quite a few hits, though, and if Steve had been able to pick himself up off the ground, then he would have tried to help, but he wasn’t sure it was safe to go near them and Jonathan seemed to be handling himself.

Jonathan finally shoved Billy back against the car, holding him up with an arm to his throat. They’re both bloody and beaten up, but Jonathan wasn’t done. “You stay the fuck away from my brother and his friends. Do you understand?”

“Fuck you and fuck your faggot boyfriend,” Billy spat, struggling to get free. Jonathan didn’t look very strong, but he was holding Billy in place fairly well.

“Do you fucking understand?” He growled out, shoving his arm further against Billy’s throat.

“Go to hell, you motherfucking freak!”

“I swear to god, if I hit you again, I’m not gonna stop until you quit breathing, you piece of shit. Stay away from my brother, stay away from Max and Lucas, all of them. And stay the fuck away from Steve.” Billy had caused too much pain to his friends, he wasn’t going to stand for it anymore. If they couldn’t settle it like adults, Jonathan was more than happy to act just as childish as Billy.

“Gotta protect your bitch of a boyfriend, right?” Billy smiled, his teeth bloody and it hurt but he did it anyway. He managed to push Jonathan back just far enough, so he wasn’t touching the car anymore. “I always knew he was a fucking queer, I just didn’t know he was the one who took it up the ass.”

Jonathan shoved him back against the car with an audible thump, raising his fist.

“Jonathan! Let him go, we can leave, alright?” Steve called, finally getting to his feet. He wasn’t going to let Jonathan keep going. It was honestly a little scary seeing him like this. He wondered if he’d always been capable of this type of rage or if losing Will had changed him. Either way, it was over, Billy wasn’t worth getting arrested for. “He’s not worth it. It’s over.”

Jonathan stared at Billy for the longest time, but finally let him go, Billy slumping against the car. “Damn right. I knew you didn’t have the guts to finish it.”

“You want me to keep going?” Jonathan asked, not even turning around. He wanted to go home, to clean his face up, and to calm down. He hated being angry, it reminded him too much of Lonnie.

“I’m not afraid of you, you fucking cocksucker!” Billy raised his voice as Jonathan got farther away.

Jonathan rolled his eyes, “If you keep shouting you’re gonna wake the whole neighborhood. And your dad.”

“The fuck you know about my dad?” Billy asked, taking a few steps towards them.

Jonathan spun around, staring at Billy, “I know enough. I know he beats you, kicks the shit out of you and calls you worthless. I know he broke your nose last Christmas because you forgot to call him ‘sir.’ And I know that you’re just like him.”

“I’m nothing like him!” Billy shouted in offense.

“You both hurt people to make yourselves feel better. You’re both dicks. You both hurt people who look up to you, who need you to be stable, who need you to care about them, but instead you treat them like shit. You’re exactly alike and you know it.”

Billy crossed his arms, getting defensive, “And so what? Why should I apologize for being what he’s made me?”

“Because you don’t get to be a dick, that’s not how the world works. You think you’re the only one with a shitty father? Grow the hell up, Billy. You’re not the only person getting hurt here.” Jonathan knew first hand what it was like to be shoved around, but instead of taking it out on Will, he’d done everything he could to protect him, to show him the love he hadn’t gotten. Billy was just a bad example of abuse victims. He didn’t have to be like he was, but he didn’t try to change, and that was the problem. It was so easy to give into the anger, to let it consume you and to hurt others the way you’d been hurt, but being better was hard. Loving people, caring about them, trusting them, that was hard, and Billy didn’t want to put forth the effort to do it. So, he stayed the way he was, stagnant and sad, and honestly, Jonathan would have felt sorry for him if he hadn’t been such a dick to the people he cared about. Might’ve even offered to help him be better, but he could tell from the way Billy reacted, he didn’t want to be better, and Jonathan felt bad for all the people in his life that had to deal with him. Max had to deal with his abuse, and yet she’d turned out better. If a child could be better, then there was no fucking excuse for Billy’s grown ass to be as bad as he was.

“And why should I care? Nobody cares about me, so what do I owe them?” Billy snapped, glaring at Jonathan. He didn’t give two shits what he had to say. He liked himself, and that was all that mattered.

“Maybe they would if you weren’t such a colossal prick. Maybe if you let people care about you instead of hurting them. Do you want to care about your father? Do you want to love him? No, of course not! So, why should anyone love you?” Jonathan reasoned, shaking his head. He was done with the conversation, and done with Billy. “I’m going home, Billy. Touch my family again and I’ll break your fingers.”

“Whatever, you fucking fag. I don’t need your advice.” Billy stomped off into the house, slamming the door behind him.

Jonathan leaned against the car for a moment, in pain and relived it was over, before opening the door and sliding into the front seat, asking “You okay, Steve?”

“Me? What about you? You look like you went ten rounds with Mike Tyson,” Steve shook his head as he closed the door.

“I’m fine. I’ve had worse,” Jonathan shrugged, wincing slightly. “Some Tylenol and some sleep will fix it.”

Steve looked him over, taking stock of his visible injuries, “You really kicked his ass.”

“Maybe he’ll leave them alone now.” That was all they could hope for.

“If not, we go to Hopper, he’ll arrest him, right?”

“If he can get enough evidence.”

Steve sighed and looked out the window as they drove, blood drying on his face. “Go to my house, so we can get cleaned up. I doubt you want your mom to see you like this, right?”

“Good idea,” Jonathan said, turning to get on the street that lead to Steve’s place. He didn’t even want to think about what his mother would say if she saw him like this. He wasn’t in the mood for a lecture or to be coddled, he just wanted his head to stop hurting.

“Well, I am full of them. Hey, did you grab my bat?” Steve asked, suddenly worried.

“Yeah, it’s in the backseat. I put it there when I was trying to get you in the car.”

Steve looked in the back, confirming that the bat was indeed there. “Yeah, sorry, I just kinda froze.”

“It’s alright.” Jonathan understood. He knew what it was like to freeze up. But seeing Steve get attacked had triggered something in him. He hadn’t been able to stop himself from jumping in to save him.

They stopped outside Steve’s house and sat in silence for a moment before Steve opened the car door. Jonathan came around the side and handed him his keys so he could unlock the front door.

Once inside, Steve immediately took Jonathan to the bathroom to get cleaned up. He handed a rag to Jonathan and took on for himself, cleaning the dried blood from his face. He’d have a bruise in the morning, but compared to how Jonathan’s face would look, that was nothing. Once their faces were cleaned up, so they could see the damage better, Steve pulled out a first aid kit and set it on the counter.

“Here, let me help you put your face back together.”

“Okay, but honestly, how bad is it?” Jonathan asked, looking at himself in the mirror.

“I dunno,” Steve shrugged, smiling at Jonathan, “I still think you’re pretty.”

Jonathan looked down for a moment, like he was considering what to do before looking back at Steve and reaching out to tangle a fist in his shirt and pull him into a kiss. It was gentle and slow, hesitant, and Steve was too shocked to do anything but stand there. His brain finally kicked in as he felt Jonathan let go.

“I’m sorry, I-” That was as much as Jonathan could get out before Steve pulled him into another kiss, letting one hand tangle in his hair and the other wrap around his waist to pull him closer. Jonathan kissed back, cupping the side of Steve’s face with his hand. It was hungry and sloppy and their faces still hurt, but neither of them cared. Steve backed Jonathan up until he was pressed against the wall and Jonathan hummed his approval.

They finally broke apart and Steve smiled at Jonathan, “So, what was that for? Not that I’m complaining, just, you know, curious.”

Jonathan furrowed his brow, letting his hand drop, “I just- When I saw him hit you, I don’t know how to explain it, but I was so scared and angry. Then, here, with you, maybe it’s the adrenaline talking, I don’t know, but I’ve noticed your flirting and I’m not sure how to reciprocate it, but I would really like it if, I don’t know, we could go out some time?” Jonathan was painfully aware of how many times he said he didn’t know, but luckily, the smile stayed on Steve’s face.

“Even if I’m a fag who takes it up the ass?” Steve joked.

“I guess I can deal with that,” Jonathan shrugged. “As long as you don’t mind me being a motherfucking freak.”

“Well, nobody’s perfect,” Steve laughed, pulling away. “Now, we really do need to fix your face.”

[boystownbirdie]

LMWTV4U: GOT S7E1

Welcome back to let me watch TV 4 U (LMWTV4U) where I watch TV shows so you don’t have to! If you’re not a GoT-watcher or you just need a review, check out my pre-season-6-GoT primer here or you can just check out the review/recap of the last ep of season 6 here

It’s GoT season 7 y’all- WHO’S EXCITED?

As always, spoiler alert. Also, I’m introducing a new segment of this blog called WHY DOES THIS SCENE EVEN MATTER or (WDTSEM?) to help us decipher when some seemingly unimportant or otherwise boring scenes actually do kind of matter. So watch for that. Now let’s get into it! 

Over in Frey-ville/ Riverlands...

So we open on Walder Frey (aka Argus Filch from Harry Potter) giving a toast to a bunch of his people, all of whom have to wear inexplicably weird hats that seem to serve no purpose. Off the bat we know something is up because Arya Stark, fresh from the face-swapping-assassin-training academy, definitely killed Filch in the last ep of season 6. He’s gathered up all of his hat-wearing friends and family and is like hey guys, here’s some NOT POISONED wine let’s have a toast. It’s pretty obvious it’s Arya doing a really good impersonation of Filch/ wearing his face, especially when he doesn’t even pretend to take a sip of his wine. He’s all, hey remember when we killed all those Stark people, especially the mom and the hottie son, Robb and his preggers wife? That was fun, right? And all the poisoned guys are like yep murder is fun you are correct. Then he’s like too bad you didn’t kill all the Starks cuz one is still alive and…. It’s ME BITCHES. 

And she rips off Filches’ face/body and is like SURPRISE! And because this is the season of the woman, she doesn’t let any of the poor servant girls (who were like 15 years old and all forced to marry Filch) drink any of wine but she’s like, I know this is confusing, because I was just wearing the face and body of your former husband but it’s me, a fellow 15-year old girl and please tell everyone THE NORTH REMEMBERS. (If you’ll recall the Stark fam is from the North and a bunch of them died at the red wedding which was FOREVER AGO)

Later in the ep, we catch up with Arya who is riding around on a horse like a boss when she happens upon ED SHEERAN. SERIOUSLY ED SHEERAN IS IN THIS EPISODE WHY? I DON’T KNOW. And he’s singing a song with some soldier bros, duh. And I guess they’re from the Lannister army (if you’ll recall the Lannisters are the incest twins) because they’re wearing their colors and they’re like ugh King’s Landing (where Queen Pixie Cut aka QPC is currently ruling after blowing up most of the city) is the worst. And Arya is like umm ya it sucks, last time I was there I saw my dad get his head chopped off, BUMMER. She doesn’t say that actually but she does listen to them talk about how they wished they were home with their family instead of fighting for QPC. 

WHY DOES THIS SCENE EVEN MATTER (WDTSEM)? This scene is pretty clearly a setup to get Arya to consider meeting up with her bro (well actually uncle) and sis in Winterfell rather than her current single-minded pursuit of killing QPC. Anyway, the strangest thing about this scene is that one of the bros is like ya my mom always said to be kind to others and they’ll be kind to you and also none of the bros say anything murder-y or even slightly assault-y for that matter toward this young girl traveling alone WHAT SHOW IS THIS? On any other season of GoT this scene would have been a literal bloodbath.

Sidenote: when the opening credits run we FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER only see Westeros rather than both sides of the globe (or is it a globe? Idk. g.r.r.r.r.r. Martin plz advise) cuz our Khween Khaleesi is no longer residing there.

Next, let’s check in up North with Bran and his pal Meera who recently narrowly escaped a zombie attack only to be rescued by his zombie-uncle.

Bran is having a vision, as he is wont to do, of the “Night King” (zombie leader guy) plus thousands of zombies marching toward the non-zombie world. Some of them are even zombie giants which is super spooky. He’s like let’s GTFO and get south of this giant ice wall so they coming a-knocking on the ice-wall-door which, if you’ll recall is manned by all those moody celibate dudes that Bae was briefly murdered by before coming back from the dead. Bae’s friend who is in charge now is like umm new phone who dis cuz IDK what “Brandon Stark” looks like but it’s probably not you. And he and his friend Meera are like we promise, we’re cool and they let them in.

WDTSEM? Bran and Meera’s next stop after passing through TSA security is probably to see his sis and bro at his home, Winterfell. Last time that poor boi was there he was paralyzed, briefly made leader, ousted, forced to watch the whole place burn down and then had to escape before he was killed. So needless to say he’ll be happy to see that it’s not only rebuilt and no longer a torture dungeon, but being ruled by his fam! AND he’s the only one who knows the truth about Bae the R+L=J theory so he needs to drop that bomb on erry’body that basically means that Bae is kind of a rightful ruler and also Khaleesi’s nephew?!?

Speaking of his home, let’s check in with Winterfell...

Bae (Jon Snow) is like wow being in charge is hard no wonder Obama turned gray lol-is-this-thing-on? And Sansa is like eye-roll and they have a little tiff in front of everyone which is EMBARRASSING. A few important things happen here: 

Bae tells everyone to dig for dragonglass cuz it’s the only way to kill the zombies. He’s like hey bois, gurls, gender-non-comforming-individuals, EVERYONE needs to get to work and dig and learn to fight

Everyone’s favorite pint-sized-ruler-of-Bear-Island, Lyanna Mormont, is all about that lyfe, as shown in gif above

Bae is like wow little kids are pretty good at being in charge so let’s put these other 2 lil’ squirts in charge over at their houses

Bae sends hottie-ginger-wildling-bae to guard part of the wall where the zombies are probably heading first. Goodbye ginger-bae. 

Sansa does not agree with the putting-kids-in-charge bit which is what they argue about but he does it anyway. They kind of makeup and then they talk about how Cersei (aka Queen Pixie Cut aka QPC) is in charge now and Sansa is like she cray but also a BAMF. 

Later we get a scene of Brienne, everyone’s fave lady-knight, training her squire how to fight and are reminded that ginger-bae has the hots for her. As Sansa watches this all play out, Littlefinger (ugh he is the WORST) comes over to tell Sansa for the 80th time that he loves her and wants to rule the world with her. And as she has done 80 times, she’s like NO THANKS DUDE. 

Speaking of Queen Pixie Cut (QPC) let’s check in on her over at King’s Landing…

QPC is ruling whatever is left of her people after she blew most of them up. She commissioned this giant map/painting on the ground and is stompin’ all around like she owns the place, which, to be fair, she does. Her twin bro/lover, Jamie, comes over and is like ummm… what’s the tea? Remember how our last living kid jumped out of a building and died last season… can we discuss? And she’s literally like yolo we gotta rule this place FOR US. And he’s like but we don’t have any heirs anymore, like who’s gonna take over after that you can’t #liveforever this ain’t the high school cafeteria in the film version of Fame. She’s like dontcha worry, I gotta plan.

So Theon’s crazy uncle shows up to see them. If you’ll recall last season, he killed his bro and then tried to become king of the wet-rock-pile by throwing up a bunch of sea water even though his niece, Theon’s sis, was totes supposed to become kween of her peeps. While he was performing his water-gagging-magic-trick, Theon and his sis ran away with a bunch of the peeps and all of the ships. Again, their entire island seemed to have about 20 people so WHO IS ON THOSE SHIPS? IDK. And he was like NBD I’ll make a bunch more ships AGAIN WHO IS BUILDING AND THEN RIDING ON THESE SHIPS IDK. So I guess the ships are built and people must be on them because they show up to QPC’s shores and she’s like whatup. Jamie is NOT HAVING IT mostly because he is jelly since Theon’s crazy uncle (TCU) is hittin on his sis. TCU manages to squeeze in a really sick burn when he’s like well at least I have 2 working hands (Jamie got one chopped off 3 seasons ago) and then he asks QPC to get with him. She’s like naw dawg so he’s like NBD I’ll be back with a “very special present” and heads off. They also banter about how his niece and nephew and Khaleesi and QPC’s other bro (Tyrion) have all teamed up and are headed that way.

WDTSEM? In the books, apparently TCU has some sort of magic horn that can call dragons? I think this might be the gift he’s going to get and bring back to QPC which would be CLUTCH because in the upcoming battle against Khaleesi, the ability to control those dragons would be really helpful.

Next, let’s see how Sam is doing over in “Oldtown” where all the maesters live...

If you’ll recall, Maesters are like doctors/librarians/historians, each of whom is assigned to either a place (like the ice wall) or a family, I guess (like the Starks). Sam wants to be one but he also is NAUGHTY and brought his gf and her bb with him (Maesters are also supposed to be celibate like the ice wall guys). He’s in maester-training-camp which includes a lot of diarrhea, apparently. He’s like cleaning bedpans, putting back library books, and doing autopsies on the reg. JIM BROADBENT aka Prof. Slughorn from HP aka Harold from Moulin Rouge shows up and is like DON’T GO IN THE RESTRICTED SECTION OF THE LIBRARY, SAM (flashes of Harry Potter, amirightladies?) so of course Sam does. He sneaks some books home and finds out that “Dragonstone” which is a castle near King’s Landing that Khaleesi is heading towards, is built on top of heaps of “dragonglass” (which, I mean, could have guessed) so he’s like I gotta tell Bae since I know bb boi is trying to stock up on that. Also, there’s a brief scene when Khaleesi’s friend who had the turning-to-stone-disease (Stoney) is like in a hospital where Sam is working and is pops his stone-hand out and is like IS SHE HERE YET? Aka Stoney wants to know if Khaleesi has made it to Dragonstone yet, which WAIT TIL THE END OF THE EPISODE, DUDE.

WDTSEM? Especially the scene with Jim Broadbent (JB) is important because he talks about how the ice wall has always held up after centuries of zombie attacks and how empires rise and fall and just like go with the flow, Sam. My guess is that they’re bringing up how strong the ice wall is and how unlikely a zombie-attack really is because this is something that may actually happen now so we can really grasp how high the stakes are nowadays.

Before we get to Khaleesi, we have to check in on “The Hound” who’s walking around with those fire-worshipping dudes these days…

Is it just me or is man-bun guy kinda hot? So he and “The Hound” come across this farm house which the Hound is having some guilt about b/c last time he was in the hood he killed the girl and her dad who lived there. They find their bodies and everyone is like IDK who killed them but ugh… that’s life. And then the fire-worshipper-guys are like here look at this fire and remember the Hound hates fire because he got half of his face burned off as a kid. But he does look at the fire and has like a premonition of zombies going around the ice wall and attacking all the living people. Then he and hottie man bun bury the dead girl and her dad outside because the Hound feels #guilty for killing them I guess?

WDTSEM? Well the Hound used to be really murder-y but then he was saved by Ian McShane and his group of like Amish people (much like Harrison Ford in the film Witness) and decided to renounce violence. He used to work for QPC’s family and then kind of kidnapped Arya but also was not the worst to her (or to her sister for that matter) so if shit’s going down he could potentially be on the Stark side of things now. 

Lastly, we check in with everyone’s fave kween and co, Khaleesi, who rolls up on Dragonstone with all her pals…

She hasn’t been to this side of the world since she was a wee babe so when she steps foot on the sand, she’s like give me a minute y’all. Then she walks into the castle and looks at the throne, which is NOT made of a bunch of swords but rather a slab of rock and is still pretty baller and walks right past it to head to the room with the giant map on it. Previously, Stannis and his friends lived there including sweet ole’ no-knuckles who is currently #teambae and he spent a lot of time strategizing and having sex with witches to produce demon babies on that table. Khaleesi looks around and then is like, let’s get it started in here #blackeyedpeas.  

WDTSEM? Well, duh, cuz Khaleesi is in it and she is basically the Beyonce of GoT. But also because she has had this single-minded pursuit on the iron throne (chair made of swords where QPC is currently sitting) so you’d think she’d like take a minute to sit on this rock-slab-throne and savor the moment, but she (unlike QPC) knows that a true kween not only sits there, but also gets shit done. And I think this scene is supposed to contrast how #woke Khaleesi is compared to QPC. Both have giant maps and thrones now, but QPC is so out of touch that she has no time for strategy or listening to other people’s advice. 

Final thoughts:

This ep was what the TV people call a “table setting” episode and it did just that. The drawback is that it was pretty boring. We just check in on all of our key players/places and see how everyone is doing which is normally quite helpful in GoT world. But the season 6 finale already did that for us, so it seems to be just an extension of that episode rather than something new and exciting. Now on to our superlatives...

Biggest surprise this ep: Sam is interning for JIM BROADBENT these days, which is pretty great. Also Ed Sheeran lives in GoT-world I guess which actually explains a lot.

Biggest letdown: We only get THREE WHOLE WORDS from Khaleesi in the entire ep!

Important fashion moments: Sansa’s new lacefront is NOT working for her. With this budget you’d think they could afford better wigs! Also, while I won’t miss the Mereen subplot, I will miss Khaleesi and co being in a warmer climate because she and her friends had some killer crop tops/ cut out dresses/ bright colors . Now that everyone is on the cold side of the world, we have much less #fashun.

Who died this ep? A bunch of Walder Frey’s main cronies

Check in next week when we’re promised someone will finally be strangling littlefinger so we may be rid of his creepy soliloquies soon! Thanks for reading tell your friends!

CORRECTION: After checking my sources, it seems like the Hound maybe didn’t kill the farmer dude and his daughter but instead stole their shit and so they were forced into the dire circumstances that led them to their death. So while it sounds like he didn’t kill them, he still feels guilty that he basically caused their deaths.

Also, I incorrectly ID’ed Bae as Khaleesi’s uncle a few times but actually she is his aunt I guess? Sorry to lead you astray! 

[justanotherdamnthing]

I Just Wanna Breathe Again

I knew when I started, I would probably get addicted. I started anyway. Because I quit cutting and I can’t focus enough to read or write hardly ever, anymore. I don’t have the energy to go for nightly walks anymore. It helps me. And, stupid as it sounds, it helps my depression. My husband says I’m smoking more now than I was. I didn’t realize it until he said it, but I am. It’s getting to where I feel like I need to smoke. I know it isn’t his fault. He almost died. He’s still recovering. Still tired, exhausted. Still recovering. But all he does his play phone games. He plays while we’re at work. He plays when we’re in bed watching Grey’s Anatomy, every night. He plays when we are eating. He plays after sex. He plays until we turn out the lights to go to sleep. Sometimes, he plays after the lights are out. He plays phone games all the time. And I don’t. Usually, when he’s playing, I get on Facebook to check notifications. I scroll through for a bit. I get on Pinterest, or Google random thoughts and questions I have. Sometimes, I’ll play a phone game, if I’m feeling particularly bored. And he talks about his games all the time. Sometimes, I’ll want to say something but he is talking about his game. So, I wait. And, because I have an atrociously bad memory, I forget what I wanted to say. Tonight, while watching Grey’s, I told him I liked the name “Owen”. He said, “yeah” while playing his game. I asked him what would he want to name our son, if I were pregnant, of we had a boy. His answer? “Donkey.” It was a silly, random question. We both want a baby. I think about names, in general, a lot. Partly because I am a writer, and partly because choosing a name for a human being is a big deal. And if we ever get pregnant, which I hope like hell we do, I want to have some idea what names we both like. I mean, we talk. We’ve been talking about moving back to my hometown, which is about an hour from where we live. And getting jobs there, then quitting where we work now. Which is about an hour/hour and a half from where we wanna move. Actually, keeping our jobs until we find one in my hometown, is a better idea than quitting our jobs, using our income tax money to rent a place, and live off of until we find work in my hometown. Right now we live with his mother. She’s nice enough. But lately she’s been getting on both our nerves. And I can’t handle her anymore. My whole family lives in my hometown. I have a big family. I have: A sister who had a baby last year. She just got promoted to manager. She’s having a hard time with her boyfriend/ the baby’s dad. She’s working on trying to better all their lives. A sister, who adopted us when she was 9. She has two kids, and finally just left their dad. She is working on trying to better her life for her and her boys. I have a brother who is about to start high school. When he was born, way too early, we didn’t think he’d make it this far. He has come such a long way. I have a brother in 8th grade who is taking classes for high school credit. He is out of TRACs. Completely, as of now. He has come a long way, too, just in a different way. I have a step sister, who is an amazing artist. Her mom has been with my dad since she was two. That’s twelve years. She usually goes to see her dad in Cali every summer, but last year, she chose to stay home instead. And she’s started calling my dad “dad” again. I have a little sister due to be born May 22, 5 days before my birthday. I can’t wait to meet her. This is the first and, given their ages and energy for having another baby in the house, probably the only kid they will biologically have together. I want to be there to get to know my sister. I’ll be 24 or 25 years older than her, depending on when she is actually born. My grandmother was sick a couple months ago. She had a bad case of bronchitis, woke up unable to breathe well, and was in the hospital for a week and got pneumonia. She’s on oxygen sometimes now, and has a high heart rate level. I am really close to my family, and I hate being so far away. He is only really close to his Pa, on his dad’s side, and his mom and brother. We were gonna get a place in Lebanon, where we work, but then we decided to try Cookeville, again, instead. I miss my family, I really do. Everyone is growing up, and living their lives. I feel like I am missing everything. My brothers are starting a Dungeons and Dragons game with their dad. They’ve never played before, and they are super excited about it. I remember how much fun I always had playing D&D. So I got them each a set of gaming dice in their favorite colors. They came in a week or two ago. Even though, we’ve been in Cookeville during the times they’d be put of school and awake, I haven’t been able to give the seta to the boys because my husband hasn’t felt like going over there. So they’re still in my purse. He had an emergency surgery when we were engaged. Barely less than a month til the wedding date. Then he got sepsis and we thought he was going to die. So we got married in the hospital. We didn’t have a wedding, or a honeymoon. So, we thought we’d go to Panama City at the end of May, for our honeymoon/ a birthday gift to ourselves. We canceled that so we could get a place. Which, we still haven't found a place. Well, we found a couple places. One place, we both fell in love with, we didn't get approved for because we don't have a rental history to give as a reference, since we've never rented before. He is an amazing man. He really is. He is handsome, and sexy. He is funny, smart, sensitive. He is passionate. He is my best friend, and I can’t believe I get to spend the rest of my life with him. I just wish he didn’t play his phone games all the time. Just take a break for a few days. I miss him. I just want to feel like I matter more than the games. I want him to pay more attention to me than the games. I feel like I am going nowhere in life. So, I smoke. And I want to quit. I do. But I can’t seem to. My depression is getting bad again. I guess it always does around my birthday. Every year. But this year feels worse. I don’t know, maybe I feel like I am falling behind the schedule I had for myself. Or maybe I just need some adventure. Maybe I need to get out and do something to get my blood flowing again. Maybe of I could concentrate on my writing, or reading a book, I would feel better. Maybe. I don’t know why smoking makes me feel better. Temporarily, but better. Just three years ago, I had never been drunk. I had never been high. I had never drank a beer. I had never smoked pot. I quit smoking cigarettes when I was 16, and occasionally smoked one or three a year. I had never done drugs. I just pretty much sat by myself and watched movies or something. Then one summer, all of that changed completely. I discovered that I absolutely love whiskey. I also discovered, I should absolutely not drink whiskey. Found out that I actually like Bud Lite. I love weed. I had blood clots in my lungs for several months, and it made it difficult to breathe. I could only take unsatisfying, short, shallow breaths. Then, I went camping, after I was told the clots were gone and there was just some wicked scar tissue left. It was too much, too soon, I guess. My inhalers, they put me on an inhaler and an emergency inhaler because I sucked at breathing during the blood clot months, weren’t working that night. So, a "friend" told me to take a couple hits off a joint and that it would help me breathe. For the first time in 7 or 8 months, I could take a deep breath. It didn’t hurt. It wasn’t impossible for me to do. It didn’t make me tired to try taking a deep breath. And it felt so good. I could breathe again. Everything changed that summer. I changed that summer. I went muddin for the first time that summer. I went caving. I camped at a lake that didn’t have showers and bathrooms. I got drunk. I got high. I got tattoos, granted they don’t LOOK professional, in a friend’s kitchen. I learned what it feels like to say, “fuck it” and just have fun. It was one of the best and, in many ways, the worst summers of my life. But I felt so alive. I don’t feel that way now. Now, I feel like I am going through life taking unsatisfying, short, shallow breaths. Gasping for enough air to fill my lungs. Enough air to fill my lungs enough to take one deep breath. But I can’t seem to take a deep enough breath. I need something. I just want to breathe again. I need something. Adventure. A spark for writing. The ability to finish a book in a decent amount of time. A project I’m excited about. Something to be excited about. Something. I need something. *sigh* I don’t even know why I wrote all this. Nobody is going to care enough to read this whole thing, or even half. Nobody is going to read this anyway. And besides, I don’t even know what I’m trying to say here, anyway. What am I trying to say? What am I doing? Fuck it. I’m going to bed. I have to work a shit paying job tonight. I just want to breathe, again.

[everly-kindred]

Eve’s Diary - Entry #54

Date: 18th of March, 2020

Dear Diary, 

It's the time of year where the daffodils and narcissus start to bloom, and pop up everywhere. They’re… perennials? I think it’s spelled. And their seeds are shaped like bulbs. Did you know that narcissus is my birth flower? And elder trees are my birth tree. My birthstones are blue topaz, tanzanite, and turquoise, but I don’t like those gems so much. I wish it were amethyst or rose quartz or… opal would be lovely. Fire opal. Anyways, what was I saying?

Today was St. Patrick's day! It’s been one year since I met Bonnie - well, I already knew her, but formally met - and one year since I watched her cast green sparks on that man to make him fall in the snow! That was a fun day. I can’t believe how much I’ve written in you, it’s a little nuts really. 

To celebrate the holiday, Ressy and I walked around the grounds to find four leaf clovers. We found quite a few, actually! I’ve pressed some into this… er… you? Between the pages. It was fun to hunt around for them, even if it was pretty muddy. 

Speaking of Ressy, my dad sent me one of his old, old dungeons and dragons books, and a set of used dice. Said he was about my age when he started playing, and that we’ll probably have a group in the summertime! So Ressy and I went and made our own minis and stuff in the artificer room and had a little mini campaign! We played for hours and honestly I think we missed a class or two. 

It was this dungeon where we had to basically learn some magic and solve this mystery, we both played mages and walked around this castle doing puzzles and stuff. It was so much fun, and we even invented a potion of our own with a bunch of cute sounding ingredients! I hope I can invite her to the group my dad wants to have in the summer. Anyways, we finished the little mini campaign we had over two days, and I kind of miss it already. I think I might make a bard or a druid sometime, or maybe a warlock… Dad says I should stick with a simpler class like fighter, though. I’m not sure. We’ll see!

Ostara is in a couple days. It’ll be on Thursday. I’m not sure how I want to celebrate it this year. Maybe I’ll just eat a lot of eggs in the morning? That doesn’t sound so fun, though. I like eggs and all but I wanna do something… to actually celebrate it. Maybe I’ll talk to Dracheblume or Durmoney about starting my own plant project, and having a plant to grow that I can keep in my dorm!

I’ve been also exercising more lately. Trying to run in the mornings on the pitch when the doors are unlocked. But it’s hard! I get tired so quick and I feel like I’m dying or something. But I want to be more in shape for quidditch! I hear people say that they can’t drink pumpkin juice or have sweets or anything if they wanna stay fit, so I… I don’t know, I don’t think I can give up sweets. I love baking and I love eating pastries! I love quidditch too, though…

Sometimes I wish I could just grow big wings. I know I’ve talked about wanting to be a fairy, but I think it’d be cool to have huge, feathery, powerful wings. Carry me everywhere but it’d still be exercise just… flying exercise. Fun exercise. Wonder if magic could give me some? 

As for what’s actually happened in the past few days, well, today I made one of those enchanted pumpkin friends Bonnie had this autumn in Artificer club! A punkeen. He seems to like sharp things and he can be very loud. I’ve been trying to keep the sharp things away from him. I’ve also been walking around with my PMRA a lot, and it’s like having a friend with me all the time but the friend plays music instead of talking. He’s fun. He likes to dance.

In Dueling Club, Bonnie and the Head Boy Cary explained that they’ll be doing a competition of sorts for who can win duels and such, and have different prizes and categories and stuff. The most exciting part about it is that the competition will be themed as the ‘Summer Faerie Court.’ Isn’t that the most romantic and magical thing you’ve ever heard of? Maybe I can get some nicer fairy wings made to wear to it! I don’t think I’ll place for anything, I haven’t won a duel yet except for that one against Aures, but I’m excited to be there anyways!

In Defense Against the Dark Arts, Lane has been speaking to us about patronuses and the older students have been practicing them. I wonder what my patronus will be… I adore rabbits and frogs, and horses and mice and rats… And bears. Chickens, cows. I love lots of animals. I just don’t know what mine would be. An owl? No, I don’t think that’s right… What if it’s something silly like… Like a naked mole rat or something. Not that I have anything against those! Or what if it’s something cool like a unicorn or a dragon… or a phoenix? I’m not sure. I should ask some of the older students what their patronuses are. I bet Bonnie’s is something really cool. 

Talula’s birthday happened, and she had a star-themed party in the astronomy tower. There were a lot of people there and it looked really pretty. Someone got paint all over the place… I think it was Ressy, actually, but it was hard to tell, my glasses got smudged in the paint. We ate cake and played some games and it was a good time! I gave her this pretty bottle I found. It was shaped like a heart and had this floral sort of design on it. 

There is one bad thing that happened this week, too. On Sunday, I was running up and down the stairs for exercise and such, when I bumped into this Slytherin girl, Abigail Bluetooth. She ended up falling off of the stairs, and would’ve fallen to the ground if Aloy hadn’t caught her. It was terrifying, she was hanging off the ledge and this moving staircase was gonna like crush their hands or something if they hadn’t moved in time. I managed to successfully cast the levitation charm to lift her shirt by the neck enough to help Aloy pull her up, and she was fine it was just… terrifying. She could’ve died. I could’ve killed her. Because I was being stupid and wasn’t paying attention! I’m still trying to figure out a way to make it up to her, but what says, ‘Sorry for almost killing you for a really dumb reason?’ 

Anyways, that’s about it. I’m sleepy and it’s technically not St. Patrick’s day anymore. I should really stop staying up so late. 

Much love, Everly

[ Eve’s Wiki Page ]

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[rueur]

Morning Pages #27 (06.02.2017)

Monday 6th February - 11:26 a.m.

I’m home, in Mill Park now. I had to pack it all up pretty quickly. I woke up at a little past 8 a.m. and then fed the fish and the cats, vacuumed the bedroom and the bathroom, then had a shower, then vacuumed the living room and the kitchen. I took out the rubbish and replaced the newspapers and the water bowls. I pulled all of my hair out of the shower drain! My dad came and picked me up, and I ate my breakfast (a hot cross bun) on the way home in the car. I feel a little anxious because I left Emily’s keys under Scott’s mat, like last time. Except last time, Scott was only gone for a half hour and he knew the keys were going to be there when he got back so he could pick them up really quickly. This time around I’m not sure if he’ll know that the keys have been left under his mat before Emily comes home at around 3 o’clock this afternoon. I had to tell Emily that I left her keys under Scott’s mat though. Hopefully this doesn’t make her mad. I feel like it was a little irresponsible, but hopefully she’s mostly fine with it. Her building is full of lovely people. I don’t see any of them doing anything shifty with her keys. In fact, I’m not too worried about them getting stolen at all. I’m more worried about her being mad that I left them under someone’s mat.

Anyway, I’m glad to be home! Except I’m still really hungry, I’m going to eat something else after I finish these pages. I do love the Northcote area, and living there was CRAZY convenient, but I was missing all my things. And I’m excited to start preparing for the new semester. My timetable has been sorted out now and it’s just beginning to feel like a new year, finally. I will be twenty years old in twenty-one days and I am a little nervous about it. My teenage years are drawing to a close. Right after the final performance of ‘We Are Their Children’, Tarsh - an old member of the theatre group who came to see us on closing night - told me that my face had really opened up and I seemed a lot more confident in myself. ‘You’ve really turned into a woman’. That’s what she said to me. The last time she saw me was two years ago, when I was eighteen. I had just shaved my head for the World’s Greatest Shave but right before she left, I still had my very long hair. During my school years, my hair fell all the way down to the end of my spinal cord. It was incredibly thick and wavy and long, and it essentially defined who I was not only to myself, but to a lot of people. ‘Ruwanthi’ was that girl hiding behind all of that impossibly long hair. ‘Rue’ is most definitely a lot more open with the world, a lot more sure of herself. Tarsh saying that to me - and Kat agreeing with her - on the 27th of January, exactly a month before my birthday, was a big deal for me. It made me feel like I was actually ready to be twenty. I do feel like I’ve grown a lot over these last two years after high school, and now that we’re heading into my third year as an ‘adult’, and the end of my second decade of life, I finally think I’m ready to own being a twenty-something. Moreso, after ending things with Ikaros, I also feel like I’m done taking bullshit anymore for the sake of sparing other people’s feelings. He said to me that he still wants to spend time with me even though he agreed we don’t work well as a couple. And of course, I still want to spend time with him too. In fact, I wouldn’t be lying if I said part of me still wishes we could’ve worked well as a couple too. But we don’t. And we deserve to be with people who are actually good for us. I told him that last night. I called him. He had been texting me all day yesterday; photos of Ronny’s house and all of Ronny’s pets. He had spent Saturday afternoon till Sunday night at Ronny’s. I had been writing all day yesterday. It was actually a really productive day for me! I actually wrote a slam poem, using a piece I’d written a couple of years ago this one time where I had experienced some major culture-influenced gender inequality during a particularly heated discussion with my parents. The original piece was titled ‘Brown girl in the mud’, and I retained that name for my slam poem too, because it was still pretty fitting to the parts of the piece that I played around with to turn it into a spoken word piece rather than a strictly prose piece.

Evan texted me last night, asking me if I had written my three daily pages. I told him about that on our date on Saturday night. I told him I had, and I also told him I’d finished a spoken word piece. He said he wanted to hear it. We sent texts to each other for a while, back and forth, talking about our day and everything. He told me to listen to Ed Sheeran’s new stuff, namely to watch the music video for ‘Castle on the Hill’. So I did, and I also watched the music video for ‘Shape of You’. Aside from some of its more explicit lyrics, ‘Shape of You’ was my favourite, but I let him know that ‘Castle on the Hill’ reminded me a lot of ‘The Perks of Being a Wallflower’. He said that he loved that movie. He also told me on Saturday night that he loved ‘500 Days of Summer’! I just have an endlessly good feeling about this guy. I don’t know. I’ve been idealistic before, but I don’t even think this is me being idealistic. I feel a genuine connection here. It might just be because we do have so much in common, so many mutual interests, and that might be the extent of it too. We might not be suited to each other romantically, but I’m not too fussed about where this will lead. I just kind of want to keep talking to him and seeing him and kissing him. I want to dance with him again too, I really do. Do you know how rare it is to find somebody you can actually spend that much time dancing with and not be aware that that much time had actually passed?! Every other dance partner I’ve had has been absolutely shit in comparison.

I need to stop talking about him though. I mean, I have very much enjoyed talking about him and talking to him and all that. I also let Dan know how the second date went because he’s been quite invested in this story, ever since he bailed on me when I wanted to go to Laundry with him! Malith also texted me on Friday asking if we were going out this weekend. It’s funny that he keeps texting me the day before to see if I’ve organised it rather than just coming out with me spontaneously. It’s just that Saturdays are DnD nights or some other thing at Dion’s and Malith always goes with the most thought-out plan so that he is guaranteed a good weekend. Because a night out might easily turn to shit, but a night sitting around some guy’s dinner table playing Dungeons and Dragons with six other guys is a sure-fire recipe for a good time.

It’s 12 past 12 now and Emily messaged me back at noon so hopefully Scott’s picked up her keys now. I really don’t want to finish these pages, I’m just filled with this sense of relief and of closure right now that I just want to spend the rest of this day getting my room and my sense of place finally back in order. Although I spent most of last week home here, I still feel like this is the first time I’ve been properly back in Mill Park for a while. It’s a nice day for settling in too. It’s cold and rainy out, a top of seventeen degrees, I think. There was a gentle storm in the dead hours of the night, and on Sunday evening there was a thunderous monster storm. Nothing flooded this time round, I mean it only rained really heavily on and off from about 8 p.m. till maybe 9. There wasn’t enough continuous rain to do any real damage, but because it was on and off within a very brief period of time, it made it feel continuous anyway. I think next week will reach a top of thirty-one degrees, between Wednesday and Thursday. It seems like summer’s going to be on its way out soon then. With any luck, our last recorded weather extreme for this summer will have been last Saturday, Saturday the 4th. It was thirty-seven degrees for most of the afternoon.

Autumn in Melbourne is synonymous with semester one at the University of Melbourne for me now. I have so many memories of walking around the city in my red raincoat between classes, skipping around puddles in my big, brown boots, and tucking my chin into jackets that have been zipped all the way up. Checking and rechecking my backpack to make sure the rain hasn’t touched my books, and feeling proud of myself for wiping my sopping shoes onto any available matting before walking into buildings and into their manmade warmth. The train stations were always the most precarious places to be during that signature Melbourne rainfall. The floors were shiny with the wet that people had brought in, as they naturally rushed about trying to get wherever they needed to be, whenever they needed to be there. I’ve fallen a handful of times in train stations and have now simply accepted that it’s always bound to happen. It’s a natural place to fall over and thus, people will not make a spectacle of you.

I told Evan about the scar that I have on my knee from falling up an escalator. We spoke briefly about walking up down escalators, and down up escalators when we were kids, and shared our thoughts about how it’s really been so long since we’d last done anything like that. It honestly has been so long. The time just escapes you. I feel like as you grow older, life piles on more and more layers of distractions and you spend all your days sorting through these layers. The mere act of trying to fix this never-ending mess becomes what society believes to be living. Adulthood is just a mass of errands, one blurring into the next so that there’s always something for you to do, until you’re too tired to do anything much anymore and then you realise just how old you’ve become, how many years has passed. That’s why people keep saying life is too short. I feel like people just pacify themselves for decades. I might be at the beginning of my own pacifying. I feel the need to nip it in the bud now. I’m just not sure how, or even if I can. I just don’t want to ever feel like I never had enough time.