#i don’t wanna die in june

[heartz4shauna]

i wanna hold the hand inside you

i wanna take a breath that’s true

i look to you and i see nothing

i look to you to see the truth.

[0nlywishfulthinking]

[cicada-dyke]

I’ve been planning my Barbie outfit for months and I was gonna patch some hearts on a flaired pair of jeans and we were all gonna dress up but I haven’t been feeling like myself the past week so I don’t have the motivation nor the materials and one of the girls in the group just asked to bring her homophobic boyfriend along so I guess shorts and a band t shirt it is

[nicklightbunny]

just remembered i’ll have to buy my cosplay for my convention soon and i still don’t even have anyone picked out

[shatteredsnail]

if there’s anything today has proven, it’s that i hate long term problems because i can’t solve them with a few days of dedication and i will obsess over it until it’s completed

[roseharpermaxwell]

RWRB FirstPrince Roommates & Neighbors Recs - Part Two

Nothing like being Henry's roommate to send Alex on a bisexual awakening speedrun. Enjoy this selection below!

cross your thoughtless heart by kjbee81. G, 1k. It’s a normal, ordinary Tuesday when Alex finally has the realization. He isn’t really sure how it began or when it started, but one random Tuesday, when he’s at work, he finally notices. Henry has been packing him lunches.

each time we touch / i wanna take too much by @firenati0n. M, 1.3k. Alex puts his fingers in Henry's mouth.

did the light hit my blush (when i told you you could be enough?) by matherine. T, 1.4k. Henry wasn’t eavesdropping. Really, he wasn’t — he had just come home from work at the shelter early, toed off his shoes at the door, and began to settle in when he heard it.

“No, Nora,” Alex’s voice groans, floating out into the hall from where his bedroom door must be cracked open. “I can’t tell if he’s just not interested or oblivious. I’ve used my whole arsenal of flirting and Henry’s completely unresponsive.”

Or: Alex has been flirting for months. It’s not that Henry didn’t notice — it’s that he thought he couldn’t possibly mean it.

something new, something true by rizcriz. T, 1.7k. It’s Cassie in the library, Raul at the coffee shop, Emilio at the movie theater. It’s Nora and June at dinner on Thursday. It’s Ellen and Leo at brunch on Sunday. It’s knowing glances and furtive comments from bloody well everyone they know or come in contact with.

Everywhere Henry turns, it’s people looking between him and Alex like they know something they don’t. Like they’re seeing something that isn’t there. And he knows what it is. Knows what they’re thinking.

He didn’t, but he does now.

Everyone thinks Alex and Henry are dating.

It's hard to lie with water in my lungs by @hgejfmw-hgejhsf. M, 1.7k. Best friends Alex and Henry get caught in a storm on their way home, and once there, find themselves in an unexpected situation.

high expectations by rizcriz. T, 1.9k. Alex is lying in a bed, hooked up to a heart monitor, tubes sticking out of his arms. He looks like he’s gone through an entire ordeal, only, as soon as Henry walks through the door, his eyes go wide, and he’s grinning, a big, toothy smile, bits of cotton sticking out from the corners of his mouth, and sleepily slurring out something that sounds suspiciously like Henry’s name.

His gaze darts to the doctor.

Just as he’s about to ask, there’s a flutter of a movement, the racing sound of the heart monitor going crazy. He snaps his eyes over to look at the monitor—doesn’t understand anything other than the fact that Alex’s heart is going crazy enough to set off several alarms, the beeping quick and scary, and all the information Henry just forced upon himself comes racing to the forefront of his mind as he scurries further into the room, wide eyed and panicked. He looks between the doctor and the nurse, but they’re holding back smiles as they look at each other, barely paying any mind to the monitor.

I kissed a boy and I liked it by @gallifrey1sburning. T, 2k. Henry has no idea what the context would have even been to have spurred such a comment. He only heard it due to one of those mysterious moments that happen every so often in crowded rooms at the most inopportune times where the volume on all conversations inexplicably lowers simultaneously, allowing one statement that was most likely not intended for mass audiences to ring throughout a space. In this case, the somewhat offended sounding announcement of one Alex Claremont-Diaz, Henry’s tragically heterosexual roommate and long unrequited crush:

“Of course I’ve kissed a guy before; I’m not homophobic. Jesus.”

Alex is a bit confused about the concept of allyship. Henry is possibly going to die.

kiss me once 'cause you know by @ninzied. T, 2.1k. Of all the things they’ve been to one another—sometimes-rivals, reluctant allies, tediously cordial seatmates at international events—Henry never thought that he and Alex would end up being something like friends.

(In which Alex sort of moves in and they don't talk about what it means.)

love don't by @smc-27. E, 2.4k. Alex calls the stupid advice podcast because he’s bored and out of ideas and he’s been trying his best, but Henry doesn’t seem to be feeling any better.

“My friend was seeing this guy for four months, and then just got straight up ghosted. What can I do to support him?”

The podcast host - a comedian most of the time - answers, “Oh, you’re gonna have to fuck him.”

you pull me in tight by @miss-minnelli. T, 2.5k. Tonight, they’re watching A New Hope, a compromise, since they spent half an hour bickering about episodes V and VI. Alex has his bare legs in Henry’s lap and Henry is gently rubbing his hand up and down Alex’s right shin.

It’s very possible Alex has died and gone to heaven, but he fucking hopes not, because this is actual bliss. Henry’s eyes are focused on the screen, smiling at something Luke is saying, but Alex hasn’t been watching the movie at all. He’s transfixed by Henry’s hand on his leg, ruffling his leg hair and stroking his ankle with each pass.

__

Or, Henry and Alex find each other after a bit of a detour.

until you're sick of me by rizcriz. T, 2.8k. Henry hasn't seen his roommate in nearly two months. Alex left for Austin shortly before Thanksgiving for two weeks, and Henry left for London the day before he was set to return. They’ve had the odd facetime call, and several hundred text messages to help them tide their time apart—but that didn’t take away from the fact that Henry fucking missed him.

And after three delayed flights, he’s finally standing outside their apartment door, and he’s resigned himself to the fact that it’ll still be several hours before he can finally see Alex again. He sighs and sets down his bag to dig out his keys, carefully tucks the key into the lock, and quietly opens the door, turning his back to it to pick up his carryon and grab his roller bag. As quietly as he can, he scoots backwards into the apartment, flinching as the roller bag bounces off the door frame.

bandage up your body and your bones and your bad days by @spiritsontheroof G, 2.9k. It’s been years, really, since he got that tell-tale pressure behind his eyes and ball of tension at the top of his spine. He pinches the bridge of his nose and when that doesn’t work, he reaches around to the back of his neck and presses right at his hairline, desperate for some kind of relief.

forehead kisses. by dreakawa. M, 3.2. Movie nights had become a weekly tradition for Alex and Henry.

As per usual, the movie Henry had chosen had Alex slowly dozing off next to him, his body relaxing onto the couch. He feels Henry grab the blanket and place it over him, and then-

Well, then, Henry’s fingers begin carding through his hair, and Alex doesn’t know what the fuck to do. It’s evident Henry doesn’t know he’s awake, but the touch feels… nice. Safe. Comforting in a way he didn’t realize he needed.

And then… well. And then.

Henry leans down and kisses his forehead, and his entire fucking world tips on its axis.

There’ll be time enough for countin’ when the dealin’s done by earth_to_alex16. T, 3.3k. Henry has a bad date.

Alex makes him a bet he can't refuse.

three seconds until the world ends by rizcriz. T, 3.3k. When Henry agreed to come with Alex to June and Nora’s for a party, he’d considered a million possibilities. Alex wandering off with someone and leaving Henry to fend for himself; June bringing out vodka jello shots (again) to try and get Henry to open up. Karaoke. A house full of strangers celebrating the New Year. Basically, the norm.

What he did not expect, however, was for June and Nora to decide that it was far too late, and Alex and Henry were far too drunk to go home when everyone else left at 3am.

Henry did not account for the singular guest room.

all i know since yesterday (is everything has changed) by saintsnames. G, 3.3k. henry and alex have been roommates for three and a half years when alex's girlfriend washes his sweatshirt in tide detergent and a realization unravels.

Red-Bull Lattes FTW by ItsMayBiTheWay. T, 3.4k. It was inadvisable. Alex knew it was inadvisable the first time he did it, and he knew it the second time he did it. By the third time he was so high on caffeine, his hands were shaking, but one might argue attending law school was inadvisable as well. So Red-Bull lattes it is.

After mainlining three Red-Bull lattes to survive the last of his law school final of the semester, Alex finds himself in the hospital, his asshole of a roommate by his side. Why the fuck is Henry there? And why things he’s hearing throwing his world off its axis.

It leads you here, despite your destination by @dreamsinthewitchouse. M, 3.5k. “So.” Alex unwinds his scarf and drapes it over the back of the couch, turning to Henry. “Welcome home.”

Home.

The word coils in Henry’s gut, a sugar-sweet spiral. “Thank you,” he says, not trusting his voice for more.

i need that charles dickens by @whimsymanaged. E, 3.6k. Henry’s flatmate (and crush) Alex is suddenly obsessed with Charles Dickens. But when Henry asks to borrow Alex’s Dickens, he quickly learns that Alex hasn’t, in fact, been talking about a book.

Every Time I Fold A Paper Crane by earth_to_alex16. T, 3.6k. The story of Alex and Henry's relationship as roommates, and the birthday card that changes it all.

love drunk, waiting on a miracle by gallifreyandglowclouds. E, 3.6k. Henry wears grey sweatpants. Alex reacts (in)appropriately.

there's one prize i'd cheat to win by @coffeecatsme. T, 3.6k. They’ve been roommates for eight years now, through Georgetown to New York, law school and grad school and ultimately their jobs, and Alex can’t imagine his life without Henry. Can’t imagine a world where he’s not in love with his best-friend-slash-roommate.

Too bad Henry has a boyfriend already.

Or, 5 times Alex is jealous over Henry's "boyfriend" and 1 time he realizes he doesn't have to be.

ocean blue eyes looking in mine (i feel like i might sink and drown and die) by coffeecatsme. T, 3.9k. It feels good. Henry’s touch feels good against his skin, and it’s not like when June hugs him so tight after not seeing him for days, not like when Nora bumps his shoulder or ruffles his hair and he wants her to get the fuck away. Not like when Henry has touched him a million times before, hands brushing as they walked, platonic cuddles during movie nights, hands on his elbow and his wrist and his chin whenever there’s a bit of chocolate on the corner of his lips or he needs someone to steady him. It’s too warm, too solid, peeling off layers of his skin until Alex kind of wants to check if somehow his internal organs are exposed, except he doesn’t because he’s worried Henry will stop if he moves and he…

Fucking hell, he doesn’t want Henry to stop, does he?

Alex finds himself in Henry's arms after a night of drinking and realizes some things.

In the teeth of strong opposition by @clottedcreamfudge. E, 4k. "You know what?" Henry says loudly, annoyed beyond belief that he has to hear for the millionth time how fucking cool Alex is with Henry's sexuality. "If you're such a good ally, why don't you suck me off? Since you're so insistent, why not get on your knees, Alex?"

He regrets the words as soon as he says them, but it's not like he can shove them back into his mouth; he can't take them back. He closes his eyes so he doesn't have to see the shocked expression on Alex's face and takes a few deep breaths.

"Sorry," he says tightly a moment later, eyes still closed. "That was uncalled for."

"Do you want me to?"

in the dip of your collarbone (baby that's called home) by rizcriz. T, 4.2k. Alex has had too much to drink.

Alex has had too much to drink and he’s practically horizontal, held up only by the strength of his roommates singular arm while said roommate is dribbling fucking Patron into the dip between his clavicle so he can lap it up with his tongue.

or two idiots are in love.

it hits different 'cause it's you by coffeecatsme. E, 4.3k. “Fuck, I need someone to like, rail me to next week so I stop worrying about this class.”

Henry chokes on his tea in an attempt not to spurt it all over his computer. He turns to his roommate. “Alex?” he says carefully. “Could you…repeat that, please?”

Or, Alex needs to get railed. Henry provides.

you taste like home by whitescarves. T, 4.4k. “I lied to you,” he says.

He doesn’t clarify. He doesn’t have to.

Alex toys with his fingers. Quiet settles over them, offset by the pattering rain.

“I know.”

Or, the rizcriz prompt where Alex and Henry are roommates and Henry lies when Alex confesses his feelings in order to protect their dynamic.

Riding slow 'cause you know the world's moving too fast by earth_to_alex16. T, 4.9k. Maybe he should be reaching for the stars, like his parents told him. Moving mountains. Changing the world.

But all he wants to do is tackle one small hurdle at a time, Henry right by his side.

Forever.

So what does that say about him?

Four times Alex and Henry face collisions, and the one time a collision yields stars.

all this bitching and moaning. by @chaa-kiao. M, 5k. His door creaks. “Alex.”

Henry. Fresh tears splash over his cheeks. “Since when do you ignore my boundaries?”

“Since you—” Henry sputters. “For Christ’s sake, I haven’t allowed myself a single shred of hope in four years, can you blame me for not being able to stand it?”

Alex’s sexuality—straight—is the punchline of most Super Six jokes. He starts figuring out why that bothers him so much.

be with you day and night (all i need is time) by chanmosphere. T, 5.2k. Five times Henry is about to confess and one time Alex does it first.

None of my love will go to waste by @kiwiana-writes. E, 5.3k. Henry has made peace with the fact that he's in love with his straight roommate. When he walks in on said "straight" roommate with a man, though, he may need to re-evaluate.

coming clean by ninzied. E, 5.8k. Objectively, Henry knows it’s not so big a deal. They’ve seen each other naked before, in a strictly gym locker sort of way. Here should be no different, really. Either way, it's no place for deeply guarded fantasies about his housemate—his best mate—to go. Either way, Alex is straight. Either way, Alex is not even looking.

Or, 3 times Alex wants to talk about his day while Henry's in the shower + 1 time he wants other things.

it's all fun and games (til somebody loses their mind) by @theprinceandagcd. T, 6k. He’s left standing there, listening to the thudding of his pulse in his ears, trying to swallow the sudden nausea twisting in his belly. Alex is long gone, like he flipped Henry’s world upside down without a single care and walked away from him similarly, with no concern for the destruction left behind in the wake.

Alex had kissed him.

He’d done so for several moments, a full stretch of countable time, like he’d meant it, and then disappeared in a split second once he’d achieved his victory, the apparent purpose of his kiss.

As if it had meant nothing.

---

Alex kisses Henry during a game of laser tag, and then pretends it was just a distraction, only he can't stop thinking about it, either.

Let Me inside (I Want to Get to Know You) by affectionatelyrs, @happiness-of-the-pursuit. T, 6.1k.

A sticky note, placed between the knobs on the kitchen sink:

Tap not working. Called plumber 5th Oct.

A new sticky note, placed between the knobs on the kitchen sink:

fixed. told plumber not to bother.

A new sticky note, placed to the right of the sink:

Did you wear the uniform and everything?

A new sticky note, placed below the previous sticky note:

wouldn’t you like to know?

Or, Alex and Henry fall in love one note at a time

Run the Risk by etherealdimini. NR, 6.1k. Henry smiles at him. Then, he shakes his head, like he’s trying to shake out a thought. “Well, thank you for having David. I should, um, get going. I wouldn’t want to bother you even further on a Sunday morning. I suppose I’ll see you—”

“I could have you, too,” Alex blurts out. Henry’s mouth drops open slightly.

OR

Henry moves in beside Alex. Alex is enamoured. He does something about it.

Uncut not Uncultured by @inexplicablymine. E, 6.4k. “Excuse me? Have I dealt with Uncircumcised Dick? Are you at a hookup or something right now and a little lost?”

“Yes, have you dealt with uncircumcised dick, no I’m not at a hookup, I am having an existential crisis and I need support okay Liam!” Alex’s voice pitches up at the end showing that he really is worried about something to do with foreskin.

__________________

One Trader Joe’s Pride themed phallic treat, one existential crisis with your ex and his current lover, one hot and steamy night to work it all out.

YourMusicSucksAndYouLookLikeADickhead by cloudymilk. E, 6.7k. In which Alex gets a new neighbour who immediately pisses him off, and they begin blaring their music to communicate with each other.

oh shit...are we in love? by sunnysideprince. T, 6.8k. They are practically polar opposites. Henry is quiet and introverted where Alex is definitely not, but it works for them just fine. It’s just like what Ms. Benson taught them about magnets. Opposites attract, and Henry wouldn’t have it any other way.

down the hall, through the door by kwrites. E, 7k. Alex had found his door opening at least once a week, Henry’s tall frame filling the space looking for something or other. The thing is, Henry seemed so well put together all of the time, that him constantly running out of common household supplies or food is so outside the walls of what Alex expects from him.

or, Henry and Alex are neighbors and Henry has a habit of stopping by unannounced.

peekaboo, baby by celeritas2997. E, 7k. Henry might die.

“You good?”

“I—er—fine,” Henry stammers. His blasted, traitorous eyes lock onto where Alex is hanging out.

Alex follows Henry’s gaze. His surprise is short-lived before he cocks an eyebrow and smirks. “Like what you see, sweetheart?”

Henry is definitely going to die.

Can You See Me? (I'm Waiting for the Right Time) by @affectionatelyrs. T, 7.2k. “Whose turn was it?” Henry asks while Alex is busy pondering the merits of throwing himself out their fifth-story window and hoping his boner doesn’t take anyone’s eye out on his way down. “Forgive me, but I am a bit tired. Do you think you could take it?”

There’s no way that Henry’s not doing this on purpose. He makes words mean things when put in a certain order for a living, for fucks sake. Alex almost quips back depends on how big it is just to see how—or if—Henry would react.

“Yeah, um, no problem.” There. Much more normal. He could steal Henry’s job at this rate. “Truth or dare?”

Or, Alex’s world gets flipped on its axis during a game of truth or dare

deep in the dreaming of you by ninzied. E, 7.4k. Alex isn’t sleeping after a recent breakup. Henry tries to be the supportive best friend, because he knows all too well what it’s like to lose sleep over pining for someone.

Or, Alex is pining. Henry is just very wrong about whom.

(looked to the sky and said) please, I've been on my knees by theprinceandagcd. M, 7.5k. But Henry is not Alex’s.

He won’t ever be Alex’s to hold and cherish and love.

Because Henry chose someone else.

That searing pain is why Alex has folded his limbs into a patio bench on their balcony, feeling petulant and hating himself for it. It’s the reason that he’s a quarter of the way into the bottle he’s holding and pouting up at the sky, looking for stars that he knows are there but aren’t showing themselves to him, like maybe they’ve abandoned him, too.

He feels like he’s staring up at an endless expanse of darkness and wishing on fucking nothing, his prayers falling on deaf ears and getting forever lost in that infinite abyss.

----

or, Alex gets drunk because Henry is on a date & drunken confessions ensue

in your arms (the happiest place on earth) by rizcriz. T, 7.6k. Alex stares at the text, his heartbeat thrumming wild and free in his veins, because what the fuck. Not because of the content of the text, as mundane and normal as it is; not Henry thinking about him when he’s several states away without him; not the fact he’s even texted while Alex is in the middle of the busiest damn park at Disney World.

It’s the words that pop into his head as soon as he reads the text:

Fuck, I love him.

What. The. Fuck.

Or, the happiest place on earth isn't where you'd expect it to be.

Sprinkler Splashes To Fireplace Ashes by @iboatedhere. T, 7.7k. "So, tell me everything."

"There's not much to tell, really," Henry says, smiling into the phone when Pez sighs dramatically.

"Henry. You are young, beautiful, living in an exciting city half a world away, and you say there's nothing to tell?"

"I'm over thirty," Henry counters as he strains his tea into his mug. "I found a gray hair three days ago, and I'm in Georgetown—the most exciting thing I've seen is the neighbor from three houses down trying to fight a ticket for double parking."

"Was he successful?"

"No."

Pez hums. "You should get out more."

coming on fast like good dreams do by @cricketnationrise. E, 7.5k. When Henry recovers from his unexpected factory reset, he still can’t really breathe properly and somehow Alex is still standing in front of him with a hopeful and excited expression on his face.

“Run that by me again?” he asks faintly.

“I need your help.”

“Right…”

“I need you to edge me. Like a lot,” Alex says with a shrug.

Nope, it’s not any clearer a second time around.

One More Weekend by @underthefigtree777. E, 7.7k. “Are you going to miss me?” Henry’s arms wrap around Alex’s waist from behind. His chin rests gently on Alex’s shoulder.

Alex doesn’t know how to answer the question. He already misses Henry.

The unspoken rules they made for whatever they’ve been doing over the past year have slowly started to deteriorate. Now that there is an end in sight, there isn’t much point in minimizing the small talk. There’s no need to sneak back to their respective apartments in the middle of the night to avoid waking up next to each other in the morning.

Or, Alex and Henry have been neighbors and fuck buddies for the past year. Alex realizes his feelings for Henry might be more than casual when he learns that Henry is moving back to London.

(how's one to know?) I'd live and die for moments that we stole. by untoward. G, 8k. He kissed Henry.

But it wasn’t a long or deep kiss, it was a peck. He did that to a lot of people; Nora, his old friends from back home, hell, even strangers at parties. He knows he’s an affectionate person and this is just an extension of that. Plus, he’s really comfortable in his sexuality to know it doesn’t actually mean anything.

Right?

or

5+1 Things where Alex keeps giving Henry kisses and claiming he's just being his affectionate, straight self.

we broke all the pieces (still wanna play the game) by theprinceandagcd. E, 8.5k. “Henry.” Alex crawls over and braces his hands on Henry's thighs, sitting up on his knees so that he can meet Henry's gaze. His own lips curl automatically when he sees that Henry is already smiling, but he schools his features into a more serious expression. “Do you want to play?”

“Do you?” Henry reaches out to push a curl away from Alex's forehead, trailing a finger down the side of his face and making Alex shiver. He leans down until his mouth is beside Alex's ear, and Alex feels lightheaded all of a sudden, his breath held hostage in his lungs. “Because you're going to lose.”

Alex shoves him away, shaking his head as that challenge reverberates in his brain and sparks fire in his veins, accelerating his heart rate as he grins. “You're fucking on, Fox.”

----

or, Alex and Henry are best friends who are *definitely* not into each other, so they get a little tipsy and play gay chicken that neither of them are willing to lose.

Number Neighbour by aforgottennymph. E, 9.2k. Henry likes his new neighbours well enough - There’s Mrs Bennett in 6D, who always pinches his cheek when she passes him in the hall. Mr Ewing in 3B, that Henry always helps carry his groceries up the stairs as he doesn’t trust the lifts. There’s Emily from 4A, who always stops Henry in the halls to show him photos of her baby, who has recently learned how to put square shaped blocks into square shaped holes.

And then there's Alexander Claremont Diaz in 2E that he has been steadily falling in love with via text message, despite never meeting the man.

He's bloody screwed.

I Get On My Knees by quill_and_ink. E, 9.5k. What the fuck is Henry Fox doing in his bed? His best friend, his roommate, the person who knows him better than anyone else in the world - why in the everloving fuck is Henry in his bed?

Better question - why the fuck is Henry naked in his bed?

bacterial? fungal? nah, baby, we're going viral by @benwvatt. T, 10k. It’s okay, Henry thinks. This is who he is on Eureka Boys, magnanimous, gracious, intelligent. Perhaps it’s a role he embodies. Perhaps it’s his actual personality.

It takes time to figure out.

Alex gulps just then, and Henry follows the languid dip of his Adam’s apple down, down the exquisite column of his throat; Henry follows the hand that scratches at his starchy collar. Henry stares into the middle distance and wants him.

In which Alex and Henry run a science comedy podcast while in college, and Henry spends every episode pining madly after his (seemingly) straight best friend. Yes, they do flirt while talking about animal sex.

Through His Stomach by KiwianaPods (kiwiana), lovecommahannah. E, 13k. “Do you think we can save the pot?” Henry asks, moving to run it under water in the sink.

“Not a chance,” Alex says with a laugh. “But here. Go sit down. I know my way around a kitchen pretty well, so you don’t have to worry. I’ve got this."

Or: How to get your roommate to fall in love with you, in 5+1 beginner friendly(ish) recipes.

It's a Strange Way of Saying that I Know, I'm Supposed to Love You by sunflowerjpg. T, 13k. “So… Alex is bi.”

“Y-yes, I heard,” he responds through a gulp.

“When do you plan on making your move?” June asks, straight forward as always.

“June! I can’t! He just came out, how can I take advantage of that? I can’t just say, “Hey Alex! Now that you’re into men, do you fancy sucking my cock?” He would have me committed! Jailed! Deported! And what if he came to his sexuality because he met someone? Oh, god.”

“Okay, ew, I’d expect more romance.” June protests just as Bea scoffs.

---

Moving 3,399 miles across the ocean with just his dog and whatever clothing he could fit in his travel bag to attend NYU behind his grandmother’s back was not one of Henry’s most sane ideas. Thankfully he meets his roommate on move-in day—one charming, inevitable, Alex Claremont-Diaz—and they slowly fall in love during their first year living together. Henry thinks it's completely unrequited, Alex thinks they’re dating the whole time.

Lovefool by aforgottennymph. E, 18k. Henry has been in love with his roommate and best friend since the moment they met, caught in the rain outside their college apartment. Over the next four years he learns everything there is to know about Alex Claremont Diaz, what makes him tick.

He knows his coffee order, the meaning behind how he narrows his eyes one way versus a slightly different way. He knows how to make him finish in under thirty seconds (“That was one fucking time, sweetheart!”).

If only he could have him, wholeheartedly, not just the friends with benefits arrangement they have stumbled into.

The Flatshare, or Two Boys One Bed by momsgoldteeth. G, 18k. The Craigslist ad reads, 'I work nights and only require the apartment between the hours of 9am to 4:30pm Monday through Friday. The flat would be yours 4:30pm to 9am Monday through Friday as well as all day and night on Saturday and Sunday.' Henry and Alex share a bed. Henry and Alex have never met. (Based on Beth O'Leary's 'The Flatshare'.)

Room For Rent (Sex Dungeon Not Included) by @everwitch-magiks. E, 19k. When Alex comes, he only knows two things: that he’s good, and that he’s Henry’s. And that’s all he needs to know.

Alex’s housemate has a sex dungeon. It’s pretty much exactly what you’d expect; whips and bondage gear and a chair that looks like something a gynecologist would have use for. Alex, being the chill, sex-positive guy he is, is of course extremely cool with this. Totally normal about it. Enthusiastically supportive, even.

But as Alex watches Henry invite a steady stream of men into his dungeon, he develops one tiny little issue with the arrangement: he desperately wants to take their place.

Murphy’s Law (aka, A series of most (un)fortunate events) by Djokodal_Fan. M, 22k. If something can go wrong, it will.

The somewhat cynical statement of the Murphy's law has never really appealed to Henry - but he can't help start believing in it more and more, after the magnificently gorgeous, witty and compassionate Alex Claremont-Diaz moves in to the house next door to his. Basically, the man of Henry's most fervent dreams and deepest desires. They quickly become good friends, but somehow, every so often, Murphy's Law strikes when he's in Alex's company and leaves Henry feeling either flustered and tongue-tied, or completely mortified, or utterly distressed. It's not long before he starts disconsolately wondering if the very Universe is conspiring to keep him away from the man of his dreams. If he is Thisbe to Alex's Pyramus, and Henry's destiny is to always keep pining from across the picket fence separating their homes.

Alex, of course, has radically different ideas. ☺️

Newton's Fourth Law by dilfpickles. E, 26k. In which Alex meets his new very attractive roommate through Reddit, downloads Grindr, and discovers some things about himself and his roommate in the process.

You Make my Head Spin by starry_pisces. E, 26k. Henry and Alex become roommates while both attending classes at NYU. Alex learns what it's like to live with (and love) someone with an invisible disability. Feelings abound.

thinking out loud by later2dae. T, 27k. Alex has a new neighbor. The walls are quite thin. One night, he hears a voice, but it's not what he expects.

OR the one where Henry berates himself and Alex thinks that it's Henry's horrible boyfriend.

wrung out by arcticmaggie. M, 35k. So excuse him if he passes by Henry one night, both in pajamas and on their way to their respective rooms, both about to end their day at the same time, and his pinky slightly grazes against Henry’s right hip, immediately making him stop, whip around and stutter out, “H-Hey.”

It startles Henry—it startles Alex as well, Jesus—as he stumbles with his steps and turns around, eyebrows raised in surprise at the sudden break in peaceful silence in their apartment.

“Hey?” he replies.

or

Law student Alex is incredibly touch-starved and his English Lit PhD roommate Henry is right there.

If you know a firstprince author handle I may have missed tagging or find a broken link, please give me a heads up! Happy reading.

RWRB FirstPrince Roommates & Neighbors Part One

Master List of RWRB FirstPrince Recs

Master List of Recommendations

[writing-for-marvel]

A Solid Foundation

Builder!Bucky Barnes x Fiancé!Fem!Reader

Summary: Your best friend suspects your fiancé of having an affair when he starts working late, but Bucky would never cheat on you, right?

Warnings: slight angst - discussion of Bucky potentially cheating (no actual cheating), soft fluff

Word count: 2.4k

A/N: thank you so much for this gorgeous inspiration my love 💕 this is my second entry for the Connect 4: Into an Alternate June-iverse Event by @buckybarnesevents, for the prompt ‘Modern AU’. Banners by @vase-of-lilies

Masterlist | Ask me anything! | Library

“Where’s Bucky? You two just got engaged, I would have thought he’d barely be able to keep his hands off you - he does at the best of times.” Nat jokes before taking a sip of her wine.

She had been stopping off at your apartment on her way home to drop some supplies for your engagement party next weekend, when you invited her to stay for a drink, wanting to take your mind off your fiancés absence.

“He’s been working late recently.” You try to say nonchalantly, but Nat’s far too observant to miss the disheartened edge to your voice.

“He’s a builder. Start early, finish early, what’s he doing still working at 6:30?” You didn’t know the answer to that question. And though part of you is curious as to what he’s up to, you’re also nervous to find out the truth.

It’s Bucky, the man who has loved you through every high and low, treasured every part of you, especially on those days where your insecurities were at their worst. Who has done the silliest, most embarrassing things just to hear your laugh. Who trusted you enough to reveal his deepest trauma, who comes to your arms for comfort through every nightmare.

You find it difficult to believe that man would be capable of hurting you, even knowing he hadn’t been completely forthcoming with you the past few weeks.

“I’m not sure, he’s been a little secretive since we got engaged. I don’t wanna push him to talk about it, I just wish he knew he can trust me with whatever it is.” You say as Nat supportively takes your hand, something of sympathy in her eyes.

“Oh sweetie, you are far too pure for this world. Working late, the ring, the secrecy - has it crossed your mind that he might be having an affair?”

“It crossed my mind for half a second before I scolded myself. It’s Bucky, he would never cheat on me.” You state with conviction, the memory of each night you’ve fallen to a peaceful sleep in Bucky’s arms only supporting your belief that he would never put himself in that position with someone else.

“As much as I want to believe you, you know I’m a cynic. In my experience men are pigs, you give them an inch and they take a mile. I know he’s sweet and you love him, but at the end of the day, he is a man.”

But Nat doesn’t know Bucky intimately like you do, hasn’t experienced his selfless and generous heart day after day for the past two years, hasn’t been loved all-encompassingly by him like you have.

You’ve never even thought to question his loyalty to you - Bucky has never given you reason to.

You hear keys rattle in the front door and shoot Nat a look which unquestionably screams don’t bring this up.

Bucky smiles instantly when he sees you seated at the dining table, that same adoration and serenity brimming in his eyes as when he always comes home to you. Though you do notice his skin is somewhat flushed, as if he’s just been physically exerting himself, his hair looks a complete mess and appears slightly darker with sweat.

You know exactly what’s running through Nat’s mind at this very moment.

“I’m gonna let you two talk.” She declares with a perceptible tension in her tone as she stands and grabs her purse. “But I swear if you ever hurt her Bucko, you’ll die a slow, painful death.” She vows with a glare that seals her promise. Though you know Nat well enough to perceive she isn’t joking, Bucky seems to think she’s kidding.

“Duly noted Nattie.” He chuckles as he watches Nat shoot you an encouraging look and then make her way out the front door Bucky just walked through. “What was that all about?”

“She’s just being protective.” You justify, not knowing how to, nor really wanting to tell him that your best friend suspects he’s having an affair. “I told her you’d been working late recently.”

“What… she thinks I should instead be here doting on you hand and foot?” Bucky asks as he moves behind where you’re seated, his hands reach for the back of your neck and begin massaging the tension from your shoulders which had built up from your long week at work. “You know I’d much prefer to be here with you than working.” You shudder slightly at his words as he places a gentle kiss to the skin where your neck curves into your shoulder, your body subconsciously revealing that you don’t fully believe he was working.

“What’s wrong, doll?” He asks, feeling your muscles tense even further underneath his hands, and you internally curse yourself for letting Nat’s speculation get under your skin.

“Where were you tonight?” It’s a simple, four word question, yet the weight of significance on his answer feels like your whole world could start crumbling before you depending on his response.

“I told you this morning: Steve needed me working late.” Bucky replies without hesitation. It’s a straightforward answer, yet there’s something about it you can’t quite believe - a half truth that he’s practised too much that doesn’t quite feel natural. “Why do you ask?” There’s a hint of worry to his voice, as if you’re getting a little too close to something he’d like to keep to himself.

“Nat thinks ‘working late’ is code for you cheating on me.” You comment, placing all the blame on your friends postulation rather than your own curiosity.

You hope Bucky won’t hate you too much for indulging in your friends theory, that he won’t completely resent you for insinuating he’s been unfaithful. Because you don’t think he’s cheating on you, but you also don’t believe he was working late tonight.

Instead, Bucky steps towards you and tentatively places two gentle fingers under your chin, tilting your face so that you’re gazing directly into his vulnerable, sincere eyes.

“Doll, you know I would never, ever, hurt you like that. I love you, you’re my whole world, I wanna marry you and spend the rest of my days making you feel as loved and cherished as you make me feel.” You sense the heaviness of your engagement ring on your left hand, you’re still getting used to carrying the small weight of it around with you everyday, though right now it feels substantial.

“I know you wouldn’t Buck, but since you proposed you’ve been a little secretive. Long days, working weekends. I mean you have to admit it’s slightly suspicious.”

He sighs, coming to some sort of internal decision when his gaze meets yours again. His thumb brushes over your bottom lip and for a moment you think he’s going to kiss you in an attempt to distract you from the topic of discussion.

“I promise you, I can explain everything, but I think it would be easier to show you.” His hands snake down your arms and when he takes both your hands, pulls you from your seated position at the dining table.

“Show me?” You query, having no idea what that could indicate he’s been keeping to himself.

“Yeah, care for a drive?”

* * *

The night is dark as you sit in the passenger seat watching the world pass you by, the empty roads only lit by periodically placed street lamps and the bright headlights of Bucky’s truck.

You have no idea where he’s taking you - you’ve never been to this part of town before and have no preconceived ideas as to what being here indicates for his unplanned surprise.

Bucky drives with one hand on the steering wheel, the other rests comfortingly on your thigh, an indicator that he’s not upset about you insinuating he could be having an affair, and that where he’s taking you to is not a revelation you should be anxious about.

Soon enough he turns down an innocuous street and pulls the car to a slow stop. You're in the middle of a suburban area with expansive blocks of land, stopped a few metres behind an SUV that has stickers of a family of five and a dog on their back window. Looking over at Bucky, you find he’s staring at you with an excited expectancy from the driver's seat.

You turn to look out the car window and the reason Bucky’s been ‘working late’ hits you like a bus.

You’re parked in front of a half built house - at the moment it’s just studs and partitions, with an unemptied skip out the front, but you can see the skeleton of a beautifully spacious two story house.

He’s building you a home.

“Bucky…” You comment under your breath, unable to articulate the swarm of thoughts buzzing around your head and the pure love blooming in your chest like a flower as he rounds the car and opens the passenger door for you.

“I know it doesn’t look like much yet, it’s just the frame and foundation, but soon there will be a roof, walls, windows, and a proper floor. It’ll really start taking shape.” He's nervous, you can tell by his shaky tone of voice, which you find adorable.

“You’re building us a house?” Your stomach contorts with guilt when he smiles crookedly and nods. How could you have ever been suspicious of his long working hours when they were spent building a physical monument to his love for you?

“I wanted to build our dream house, somewhere we can grow old together.” Your heart just about bursts when these words fall from his lips. Though the night is dark, the moon and the small torch Bucky keeps in his truck are the only source of light available, you can see the fondness in his eyes.

You give him a sweet kiss before approaching the house, an outline in chalk on the ground indicates where a front porch will be built and the entry to the house is currently only the rectangular frame of timber.

Bucky starts walking you through the house hand in hand, explaining what he had planned each room to be used for. There's only wooden studs outlining every room and a concrete slab for a floor, but you can already imagine what the space will look like when it’s all complete.

The entry foyer has high ceilings where you can currently see the stars shining, a large winding staircase connects the ground floor with the one above. To one side is a large garage, an offset office and bathroom, to the other has a large sitting room.

As Bucky pulls you further into the structure, the house opens up to a large, open plan living area. You can picture cooking together in the kitchen, room enough for a large island where you can sit and watch as Bucky cooks you breakfast, sneaking kisses in between breaking eggs. A smile grows on your features as you imagine what the future holds for you two, and what you envisage is beautiful.

He shows you where he thinks the lounge room television would go, before steering you to the right to an open room where the walls don’t have horizontal studs like all the other rooms you’ve seen so far.

“And this will be your sunroom.” He comments, eying you with a smile as your jaw drops in awe.

“A sunroom?” You ask as your voice cracks and hot tears well in your eyes.

Your dream house always seemed so far out of reach, you wondered if you would ever earn enough to own a place of your own. But it didn’t stop you from wishing for your dream house. That concept had changed over the years, but the one aspect which remained the same was it containing a sunroom. A place where you could sit in quiet contemplation and read your plethora of novels in peace, the warm afternoon sun heating the room as you draped your legs over beloveds, finding tranquillity together.

Bucky really is making all your dreams come true.

“It wouldn’t be our dream home if we didn’t have the sunroom you always wished for. This entire wall will be a huge built-in bookshelf, then the rest will be just glass, looking out over our backyard and have the perfect view of the setting sun.”

You find yourself completely lost for words, unable to articulate how remarkable this entire house is, that he built it for you, and how you will forever come home to a physical reminder of just how much Bucky loves you.

“If there’s anything you don’t like I’ll change it. I want it to be perfect, I want you to love it.” He says as if he can’t see that you already adore every inch of the house he’s built, thinking that your silence indicates aversion rather than pure amazement.

“Bucky, it’s already perfect.” You lean over to kiss him, slow and sweet, because you need to express the overwhelming gratitude and affection for him doing something so special for you. “I’m sorry I ever doubted you when you were putting in your spare hours to build us a home.”

“I’m the one who should be sorry, doll, I shouldn’t have lied to you about where I was and what I was doing, but I wanted it to be a surprise.” His arms snake around your middle and pull you closer to him so none of the cool night air separates you.

“It is a surprise, such a wonderful surprise. I love you so much and I can’t wait to spend our life together here.” You say, looking up at him with wide eyes, only closing them to kiss the stubble on his sharp jawline.

“I love you more than you’ll ever know.” Bucky places a kiss to your forehead, his voice soft but heartfelt and full of tenderness.

For a moment you stay cuddled into his strong, warm chest, his arms gently stroking up and down your back in soothing motions, feeling completely loved and so excited to start your marriage in a new home together.

“Will you show me the bedrooms upstairs?” You ask with a small voice, part of you not wanting to move from Bucky’s embrace, but also intrigued to see how much more work he’s done in the name of love for you.

“Of course, my love.”

He kisses you once more, for emphasis, before guiding you carefully upstairs to show you the spacious master bedroom where you will be spending your first nights as a married couple.

If you're interested in seeing the floorplan I based the house off, you can find that here

[melinoelliones]

Meliodas - NSFW ALPHABET

Imma probably do this with a few of the SDS’s characters but imma start with my man <3 If you have any requests drop them in my inbox or comment!! 

Our opinions may be different so don’t jump me LMAO! There are x Fem Reader and X GN Reader

This has been queued for Saturday the 3rd of June n I’ve never done this queue thing before so I pray it works. I am currently super sick from con so bare with me ya’ll.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Meliodas is veryyy touchy feely as we know so he defo wants to be close to you. Probably wraps you up in a blanket and holds you as close to him as physically possible. Wants to make sure you are comfy and feelin okay. Covers you with kisses and tells you how well you did and he’s proud of you. If you’re not too tired he’d defo run you a bath and help bathe you, making sure to be super gentle with you.

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favourite body part on himself is probably his torso and above. He’s got an impressive set of muscles so I can see him showin em off now and then. Probably loves to show you how easily he can move you wink wink

His favourite body part of yours would be chest, ass and thighs. We all know he’s a titty person but I know for a FACT he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to have his head between your thighs.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I wanna say he’d love to see it on that pretty face of yours along with in your mouth. Seeing it drip down the sides of your mouth as you attempt to take every drop.

I also think on your breasts, seeing it run down them is a sight he’d never want to forget.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Barely a secret but he loves to fuck you in public, especially in risky places. Like during rush hour at the Boar Hat he slips you into the closet downstairs, or he’ll have you standing behind the bar while he eats you out on his knees, you struggling to take orders as he does it. Defo likes to play with you under the table at the Sins meeting too, 98% sure everyone knows what he’s doing but acts oblivious. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

You was his first and vice versa. He defo knows what he’s doing and is always down for experimenting.

F = Favourite position (this goes without saying)

Reverse cowgirl is one of them, he loves to see himself sliding in and out of you along with your ass

Us riding him, he’s a tits guy so having them bounce in his face while you’re taking him all in is like a 2 in one. Bonus points if he gets one in his mouth, he loves to suck on them while you struggle to keep going.

Doggy, especially after a rough day. He wants nothing more than to see how you moan and tear up as he pounds into you with absolutely zero remorse. Seeing how you desperately cry out for him to be rougher with you is a sight to see

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Helloooo its Meliodas we are talking about. It wouldn’t be Meli if he didn’t crack a joke here and there. Loves to make you laugh regardless so if he can while fucking you why wouldn’t he?

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I will die on this hill but I think he keeps himself trimmed pretty good! He ain’t naked or anything but keeps it nice. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Depends. Most of the time he’s superrrr intimate, showering you will kisses and sweet talking you. But other times not so much but there is a BALANCE!! He will always show you a sweet side though, even during the roughest of sessions.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He can defo jack off to just the thought of you alone. I don’t wanna say its often as he’s around you 24/7 and would prefer to do it with you/in you than alone, but if he’s super pent up then aye, gotta do what ya gotta do. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

THIS IS MY OPINION BUT

Breeding kink for sure. Dude wants nothing more than to breed you, to fill you up to the brim and see you pregnant. The thought of you holding his child is one that sits in his mind constantly.

Dumbification, fucking you till you can’t even form a thought in your mind. The only thing you can do is cry out for more of him. 

Restraints, this is pretty canon anyway but yeah. He loves to be tied up while you get full control to do whatever you please with his body, wether that be for his satisfaction or yours he does not care as long as you’re happy. He also likes to tie you up and watch your body twitch as he plays with you.

Somnophilia, he thinks you look so pretty and innocent while you sleep. On more than one occasion he has defo eaten you out whilst you slept, waking you up with the mother of all orgasms. When he’s come home late from being with the sins he has used your body to help him relieve some stress. ALL 100% CONSENSUAL BETWEEN YOU TWO! 

Uniforms, he loves to fuck you in your Boar Hat uniform. He designed it so of course yours is a tiny bit smaller than the others, along with extra openings for easy access. He has several different versions of the uniform so you get to test them all.

Breast fucking for sureeeee. He loves your tits, so having his cock between them is a dream come true.

Also the thought of being seen turns him on to the MAX! Having people see how good he fucks you and how he makes you feel. 

L = Location (favourite places to do they do)

He loves anywhere in the Boar Hat; over the tables, on the counter, against the door. Eating you out on the tables or counter is his favourite pastime. He also loves the bedroom, your face full of pillow n tears while he rams into you, loves it. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You, just you. Anything you do honestly.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

I feel like he’s down for almost anything but doesn’t want anything to do with like knives or blood. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He prefers to give than receive but he loves to receive. Would give anything to have you sit on his face after a long day, he’d gladly eat you out while you tell him all about it. You are his favourite meal.

“What’s up, why the long face? Come sit on my face while you tell me”

He likes to receive too but it’s not a necessity, seeing you attempt to make him feel good is a major turn on though. You on your knees, his cock down your throat with tears in your eyes, he adores it. He gives you all the praise as you suck him off. 

“Look at you, you're doing such a good job”, he’d coo as he’d stroke the side of your face whilst deepthroating him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

All of the above. 

Sometimes he’ll be super rough, demon mark showing and all while he pounds into you to the point where you’re almost drooling. No thoughts in your mind, only his name ringing through. Dirty talk all the way.

Other times he’s super slow and intimate, taking his time so you can enjoy every feeling, every movement. Smothering you in love bites and comments as he pulls in and out of you.

During quickies it's a mix of both.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

HE LIVESSSS FOR A QUICKIE! Especially since the sins are always on the go, they need to be able to do it anywhere and FAST. I wanna say y'all have them several times a week, he’s always up for em. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He is the definition of risk taker. The sins are coming back and there's like 5 minutes till they get back? Okay lets fuck right here on this table before they make it. Oh the King is coming downstairs? Let's have a quickie before he gets here. Like he does not CAREEEEEEE! 

He also loves to experiment. Anything you wanna try he will do and if he has an idea he will always bring it up to you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Demon Kings first born, dude has stamina for days. He could go like 4 rounds without breakin a sweat. You are his weakness though so sometimes he won’t last very long in you, like if you’re begging and whining out for him.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He has toys for you, for when he is gone and can’t bring you. He also loves to edge you with a vibrator then take over. He lets you have free reign when it comes to toys for him, whatever you want him to try he’s open. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh he’s a teaser! Sometimes he can be super mean and leave you for a considerable amount of time until you lose your orgasm before going back. But only sometimes, regardless he does love to see you beg for him to let you come or beg for him to touch you and make you feel good.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He isn’t super loud unless like you’re sucking him off, he defo whimpers and whines a little when you do it, a few hisses and curses too.

He loves when you’re super loud though, he wants everyone to know how well he fucks you. He legit does not care who can hear as long as they can hear. Wants to hear you moan out his name through the tavern.

The sins hate it but then they invested in soundproof walls LMAO. 

W = Wild card (a random dirty headcanon for the character)

Okay this one is kinda random and i’m 50/50 on it but he wants to see Ban fuck you. He wants to watch it. Watch how Ban attempts to outdo him but knows he could never as you shoot him a wink or a moan he knows is fake. That or a threesome with you and Ban. He’d take front to see your pretty little face while Ban takes back.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Meli is big, don’t care what anyone says. He is girthy and veiny. Maybe not super long but trust me, the girth alone will have you on cloud 9. Let's say 6/7 inches ish.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Crazy high. Ya’ll are defo fucking almost everyday, wether that be quickies or long sessions, its pretty much everyday. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

He will always wait for you to be in a deep sleep before even thinking about passing out. He will hold you close to him on his chest until he hears your soft snores, gives you a kiss on the top of your head and THEN falls asleep. He can’t sleep unless he knows you feel safe and comfortable.

[despairots]

━━━━━━━━ middle of june.

earth1610! miles morales x gn! spidey! reader. fluff and some crack. omg guys its the middle of june, u know what that means 🙏 also sorry for not posting yesterday, i had a trip to mandarin with my classes to celebrate and i was so drained yesterday that i didn’t make a oneshot LMFAOO. please take this as an apology.

my writing sucks so take this while i do my laundry. also about requests too, i’ve gotten some inappropriate requests about miles and like i said, i won’t be doing those and your request will be deleted. so please, keep some of your stuff to yourself and request those to others please!

where you, earth 0161, visit miles on earth 1610 on the middle of june to celebrate the song as a joke to which leaves miles confuzzled on why you decided to plan a date to your dimension and have a little sight seeing.

“miles. miles!” you stared down at his sleeping figure as you sat at the side of the bed, your spider costume on with a sweater over it. miles blinked his eyes opened before he saw you.

he jumped up in surprise with a yelp as he backed up, “[name]! [name]?” he nervously chuckled watching you smile. “long time no see, miles.” you chuckled, standing up to sit at his desk.

“but we just saw eachother 5 days ago-“

“feels like 5 years to me.” you joked and shrugged, hearing miles shuffle around his bed before footsteps and finally arms wrapping around your neck as his head rested against your shoulder.

“why are you here?” miles kissed the suit of your neck, his voice coming out muffled, “you don’t want me here?” you toned down your soft, the tone wanting miles to cuddle you instantly.

“stop putting words into my mouth, mi vida.” he groaned at your joking nature, hearing your sweet laughter.

“i know, cariño. i just wanted to see my boyfriend.” you pecked the side of his cheek.

you looked at the window, an idea in mind (going on a date with miles still in mind), “wanna go out for a little swing?”

turning around with a mischievous smile and glint in your eyes, miles looked at his window too before looking back at you with the same look as yours, “why not?”

“the food in your dimension is so delicious!” you ranted, licking the rest of the flavour of your finger tips as your other hand shooting the webs out, matching with miles’ speed.

miles smiled, clearly enjoying your presence around him as you talked about his dimension and how much you loved being in it aswell.

“i really wish i was born in this dimension.” your small little comment made miles’ stomach flutter, watching you do tricks as he followed you with delight and a look of adoration and admiration in his eyes.

you let go of your web, landing on top of a building and pulled off your mask, breathing heavily as you admire the view of brooklyn.

miles landed a little further then you, admiring the view which was you.

even if you two were from completely different dimensions, having one of eachother in both of your universe who have died, you two still fell for eachother again.

there would always be you and him in every dimension, and in every one of them, one of you would die but not this one, not this time line.

“[name], i want to tell you something-“ miles opened his mouth before stopping when he felt you hug him.

you backed up with a childish smile, “sorry for interrupting you but wanna know why i came?” miles playfully rolled his eyes and chuckled, “tell me.” the childish tone in his voice made you blush.

“it’s the middle of june, you know what that means.” miles had to process it before looking at you with a ‘are you kidding me’ look, you nodded and smiled.

“which means,” you opened a portal to your dimension, miles’ jaw slacking as you nudged him with your elbow, “wanna come to my dimension?”

you slid a daypass bracelet (so he wouldn’t glitch) on his wrist before jumping into the portal with him.

he screamed, flustered by the fact that his partner is hearing him scream like a girl. before miles knew it, he was in your dimension as he watched in admiration.

you watched him take off his mask, watching the night sky in your dimension to which you could actually see the stars.

“[name], you’re dimension is…” he looked at you before he felt you give him a warm, chaste kiss. he closed his eyes and placed his hands on your cheek, he really loved you.

you pulled away in embarrassment, looking down to hide your flustered state and compose yourself. you awkwardly coughed in the fist of your hand and looked back at him.

“i have something to show then you can tell me on what you tried to say back in your dimension.” you winked at him, leaning back off the building and shooting a web.

miles smiled like an idiot as he followed, “where are we going?” he questioned, not having a reply he grew more confused then he originally was when you came to visit.

when miles wasn’t looking, you can’t giving him a side glance to make sure he was still with you, the sudden memory of him dying repeating in your head.

you shook it off as your destination came closer, “over here, miles!” he looked over at you, watching you swing to your right and up a big building.

miles followed along, you walking to the other side of the edge, showing him your little picnic date on top of this random building.

“i love you so much, amor.” he grinned and hugged you, spinning you around in his arms as laughter filled the air. “i love you too, cariño.” you whispered into his air.

after settling down, you leaned against his arm with music playing in the background on low volume, staring down at your city that you saved countless times.

“what’s that thing you wanted to tell me?”

“just wanted to let you know that your the best thing that has ever happened to me.” you blushed profusely, miles watching you stumble upon your words with a smirk knowing how easy you get flustered by him.

“i’m never coming to your dimension again!”

[nhasablogg]

Tickle fics

Fandom: Red, White and Royal Blue

Characters: Henry/Alex

Summary: Alex reads a tickle fic about them aloud and Henry is having a totally chill reaction to it.

A/N: Soooo I do admit not a lot of tickling happens in this one (if any?). It's more of those fics with (the concept of) tickling that I love writing. BUT if you're nice maybe I will write you a sequel with the thing Alex mentions toward the end ;) Actually I probably WILL write it either way, although maybe I won't have the fics be connected. I hope you like this regardless!

Words. 1.2k

Alex finds it funny, and Henry likes watching him giggle over the phone, but, respectfully, Henry is about to die if he keeps it up.

Gripping the pillow he’s fighting against covering his face with, he tries to keep his features neutral, the opposite of Alex’s animated movements. He’s all hands and expressions, all laughter and voices. Maybe it’s Henry’s silence over the voice Alex has chosen to adopt each time Henry’s character speaks - too high pitched, not even the right British accent - that finally makes him look up from the phone, eyebrow raised, sentence dying at the tip of his tongue. “You don’t like this story?”

“It’s a great story.”

“But you’re barely reacting.”

“I was simply just enchanted by the descriptions. You know-” He sits up straighter, eyes on the back of Alex’s phone. “My interpretation of the story relies on how you read it to me. What words you choose to emphasize. What tone you adopt.”

“So you’re saying the way I’m reading is boring.”

“Not at all.”

“Hmm. Okay, look.” He shoves the phone in Henry’s face. “Read this.”

All Henry sees is giggle and tickles and it makes him want to scream. “Okay.”

“Read it aloud. I wanna see how you’d read it.” He leans back, grinning at him. “Since apparently I’m not a good narrator.”

“Oh my god, Alex, that’s not what I meant. I simply thought it was an interesting observation which was entirely on topic by the way-”

“You’re trying to get out of this.”

“I am not-”

“So read.”

They’ve done this before. Henry has never cared about the world of fanfiction, which Alex finds interesting since he is a man of letters and stories. Alex, on the other hand, was looking up fanfiction about the two of them the very moment they started sleeping together, sending him links and screenshots with lewd emojis. It was only after they became official that he started reading them aloud to him, sometimes as a joke, sometimes to see what Henry thought of certain, uh, activities. Henry has never called him out on it, mostly because it’s been quite effective.

“Look,” he said earlier that evening, tapping Henry on the arm. “I found a tickle fic of us.”

Henry nearly broke his own neck from how quickly he turned toward him. “S-sorry?”

Alex took his spluttering in the wrong way and nodded eagerly. “I know! Apparently that’s a thing. Listen to this.” He cleared his throat. “This is in the middle of the fic, it doesn’t start like this. Henry managed to call out a panicked, “No!” before Alex had switched spots, fingers curling over the area and making Henry howl with laughter, much different than June’s quiet pleading, but nowhere near Alex’s yelling. I don’t yell by the way. Also it’s a little weird that June’s in here. But oh my god, I need to read you the whole thing, it’s glorious. It’s about me compiling a list about my favorite things about you and putting you being ticklish on there, which I guess is kinda true. The author’s this weirdo called N-”

Henry grips the phone tighter now, scanning the screen. “Where did you stop?”

“About here.” Alex points and Henry tries to breathe.

“‘I should pin you before you fall off,’ he said, and Henry positively whined- I don’t whine.”

Alex waves his hand. “You do. Keep reading.”

“‘You liked that?’ ‘Let go of me, you brute.’”

“It does kinda sound like you, doesn’t it?” Alex has his cheek pressed to Henry’s shoulder, eyes on the phone. He can probably feel the heat radiating off of him and Henry tries to calm down, he really really does. “You’re certainly just as ticklish. Not sure if you like it when I tickle you, though.” He turns to grin at him, all cheeky innocence and Henry deserves a prize for the way he doesn’t look away.

“Right.” The prize should promptly be taken from him due to the way his voice wavers.

Alex sits up, as if he only just now realizes how not chill Henry has been during this entire interaction. “Wait, do you?”

“No.”

“Baby.”

It’s so unfair when Alex baby’s him. “I don’t.”

To Alex’s credit he seems to be trying very hard not to smile now. “You’re blushing.”

“It’s very hot in here.”

“Come to think of it, you’ve been blushing this entire time.”

“I have not.”

“Did you write this fic?”

“What? No!”

“But it’s not far off, is it? You don’t mind when I tickle you.”

Henry finally covers his face with that stupid pillow. “Please god, what did I do to deserve this.”

Alex is laughing as he pulls at the pillowcase. “Come on, don’t hide. It’s cute. I swear I didn’t pick this fic to embarrass you. I hadn’t connected the dots until literally just now.”

“There are no dots.” Henry gives up on the pillow and lets Alex take it. “This fic is simply not good.”

“Oh, come on now.” Alex makes a move as if to touch him and thinks better of it. “You almost never protest when I tickle you. You always seem to be in a better mood afterward. You don’t have to be into it or anything to not mind it.”

Henry whines - stupid N being right - and shuts his eyes. “I- okay, fine, I don’t fully mind it. Not when you do it.”

“Baby, that’s so cute.”

“I will literally murder you.”

“Tell me.” Alex is suddenly closer. Henry can feel his breath at his neck, but he refuses to open his eyes. “Did it do something to you to hear me read that fic?”

“Alex-”

“Did you enjoy it? I certainly like watching you squirm.”

Henry opens his eyes and Alex is right there. “I won’t answer that.” A breath, and, “You already know the answer.”

“Oh, that I do.” A fingertip on Henry’s thigh. Henry imagines it moving further in, touching his most delicate skin. He rarely allows himself to think this - shame and guilt always gripping him - but sometimes, when he’s alone in bed or has Alex sleeping beside him, he imagines what it would be like to fully lose control to teasing fingers.

He’s never thought this fantasy will play out. He doesn’t know how to approach it now.

But Alex is there, so certain with it. So nonjudgmental.

“Tell me,” he says now, finger still but still touching. “What would you want me to do to you, if you could have me do anything? Pin you? Tie you up? Tickle you so gently you nearly scream? Or maybe you’re more into the playfulness of it. Maybe you like it when I’m quick and brief.”

“I don’t know what I like.” It wasn’t a lie.

“Oh. Well.” Alex grins, all teeth and glee. “Maybe one of those fics can help us figure it out. Combined with some experimentation, of course.”

Henry doesn’t know if he should curse N out or thank her. Maybe both.

[vgperson]

Vocaloid Highlights: June 2023

What if you, wanted to eat caramel, but Sacabambaspis said: Forbidden Highlights Archive

========== Stand-Outs ========== Over the Rainbow! Pure-Hearted Paparazzi Top Notch Snob Re-Newtons Wanna Eat Caramel Forbidden Exposure Glittering Ultra☆Galactic Girl Something Forgotten Absurdly Happy☆Dream Girl! Blast Off! Sacasacabambambaspispis It's Gravity Liar Dancer Roller Virtual Singer Agape Happy The Way I Hope Rallentando Necro Familia Smokescreen HERO oops Mud-Eater Any Event A Mystery

========== Worth Your Time ========== Cry Cry Cry Cutting Pie Happy Jade Promotion-san is Coming. Frogfr Reverberation Liar Syndrome Wild Pitch Embers of Dawning Night Incomplete Record Boiling Point Charlie Unchanging Metro Taxi Vanitas and Night Light Goodbye, New Humanity Noisegoto Glass Slipper Runner Starfish's Fatal Wound Scorching Heat Big City and Stella Blue Progression Bumble Rumble Meika Town My story Dark Night Get Over the Pixels Dyed in Blue You later (Yuurei-ter) Boundary Sputnik Rainbow Canon Happiness Painter!! Dream Riser Phoebe Bubble Summer Syrup You-Like Color Party Nyaight! Crescent Rally scent Glitter Sparkle Messy Flop Crow Crow Karen's Cleaning Auto Focus Heart Portrait Last Amethyst Poem Distoile BURAI (Villainy) New Discovery→Familiar Daydream Lament telo sewi Ugh, Just Let It Happen. Music Frontier Anoxia Secret (Full Verson) Common Carp Song of Stereotypical Spoiled Brat Who Wants Understanding and Approval Without Effort Yet Has Low-Detail View of Grown-Ups and Friends Fleeting Life Show Beat Infinite Nap and Rain Kudanshita Pandemic. Halo, Auvers. Embryo-Like Illusion Global Engineering How Many More Lonely Nights Nebula Flower Trick Drowning imitation Rainy Terrarium Secret Frend Martial Maximinker (Splatoon Remix) Peacock Round and Land Entrust via 39 About June 20th I'm Always Watching. 99% of the World is a Lie I Can't Die Because, Sea and Heat Haze Eye to Eye Don't Say Goodbye Flower of Talent Fuwa Fuwa Foo Love-Tying Ghost Don't Tease! French Cruller Primary Monster Z Bonfire Flower AB Test Lifeform X Analog Romance Breath Jenny Wearing a Snail Mr. SHADOW ATAVISM Huge Annoyance The Man Who Stole the Pirozhki Grudge Inversion You Have To Open Your Eyes! Never Having Shallow Dreams Don't Wanna Die, But Oh Well Brainwashing

[hijinks-n-lowjinks]

If you could recommend a song for your ship, what song would it be? (You can give reasons why if you want to!)

Also, how's your day been? Hope it's going well! 💫

My day is going pretty good so far! I got groceries earlier today so that was a bit of hit to my bank account but it’s worth it to be able to eat a decent meal. I hope your day has been pleasant as well :D

And thank you for indulging me in yapping about my music taste lol, I have a LOT to say

I’m gonna start off with itafushi since they’re everyone’s current hyperfixation! You can find these songs of my itafushi playlist here

arms by Christina Perri: This song is so Megumi!!! The fear of getting close to someone and pushing them away first, saying that you’re not worth the fight? That’s Megumi in the current arc to a T right now.

Fav lyrics include: “I can’t decide if I’ll let you save my life or if I’ll drown” “the world is coming down around me and I can’t find a reason to be loved/I never want to leave you but I can’t make you bleed if I’m alone” “‘I’ve never opened up and I’ve never truly loved ‘til you” “and I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go”

North Star by Searows: peak yearning and longing. A desire to be the safe place for someone and wanting to be the person they come to for comfort.

Fav lyrics: “I don’t know what else came before you/you must know I just adore you” “I want you to have it all, all you’ve ever needed” “I don’t wanna need anything when you’re all that I’ve got to lose” “don’t you ever tire of all that? picking up the pieces/you don’t have to be alone when you’re the place I want to go” “if you ever want to fall back I’ll let you go/but when it’s said and done, I’ll be the North Star that takes you home”

Dinner With Friends by Kacey Musgraves: this song has been on LOOP for me since 266. Finding meaning and joy in the simplicities of life and how those are the things that make life worth living. Finding by solace in the person you’ve chosen, being known intimately by that person. It’s just perfect for them. The whole song is fairly short, but the final chorus never fails to make me emotional when paired with the acoustic guitar.

Fav lyrics: “early in June when the fireflies first start to glow, it never gets old” “the shape of his heart and my shoes by his door/he loves me in all of the ways I’ve never felt love before” “the things I would miss from the other side”

Save Me by Noah Kahan: can you tell that Megumi is my favorite character? Soooo many songs on my itfs playlist are about him, he’s just the perfect muse. A confusion over why someone would try to know or save you from yourself/outside forces and both wanting to be with them while being afraid of not being enough for them.

Fav lyrics: “let me go/why do you keeping reaching for my hand?/do you see something I can’t?/why do you try to save me?” “this fate is well deserved, I only make things worse” “sometimes I pray that maybe I’ll change into who you think I am”

Nothing To Be Scared Of by Kacey Musgraves: this album has a ton of itfs vibes to them! This song in particular is how I picture post canon itfs in slowly realizing that there’s nothing left to be afraid of and that they’ve made it through. Furthermore, than they can rely on each other and make it through together.

Fav lyrics: “holding tight to who you are like someone’s gonna take it/bubble wrap around your heart like someone’s gonna break it/demons in your mirror/together we’ll escape them” “come to me and drop your bags/and I’ll help you unpack them/you’re the only one i want to give my love/there’s nothing to be scared of”

Die With A Smile by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars: this is a recent edition! The lyrics are soooo itfs though, especially when paired with the dramatic instrumentation! A desperation to stick together no matter what and a strong devotion to each other despite what happens even if it leads to tragedy.

Fav lyrics: “wherever you go I’ll follow/nobody’s promised tomorrow/so I’ll love you ever night like it’s the last night” “if the world was ending I’d want to be next to you/I’d want to hold you just for a while and die with a smile”

[handsinterlaced]

hi this is gonna be my niall experience as I just need to get it out and I’m sure irls are SICK of me talking abt it <3 pls enjoy or ignore up to u

proof being delusional works!

june 27: I fly my ass out to toronto!!! and at this point I’m just giggling w a friend joking around what if I meet Niall

june 28: today is niall’s 1st show in Toronto hehe

I was eating lunch at a random restaurant I stopped by on queen st and I was soooo excited / nervous I couldn’t eat! basically forcing myself to eat so I don’t die at the concert fjdjskks but yeah after like half an hour of picking my food I start to feel unsettled.. and a lil bit uneasy! idk it was suchhhhh a weird feeling but u always gotta listen to ur gut!!

U GOTTA LISTEN TO UR GUT!!

DONT IGNORE IT

it was sooo strange like at that moment I knew I had to leave the restaurant RIGHT NOW and so I did! I was like half an hour walk away from my air bnb so I’m like that’s fine I’ll just walk back & still have plenty of time before the show to get ready and stuff! there were so many different ways to walk back. I could’ve crossed the street earlier or turned the corner sooner but the path I chose led me right to Niall 😭😭 I wasn’t even looking for him!!! but I was waiting for the crosswalk… look up and who do I see? NIALL FUCKING HORAN RIGHT THERE

- ngl tho niall in a cap and sunglasses is such a great disguise FJKSKAKA I would not have recognized him if tour manager wasn’t with him! shoutout to jstir (I met him when I was like 13 when he was working for Cody simpson and taking everyone’s m&g photos fjdjskks that man’s face is engraved in my mind so I was able to recognize him pretty quick!) like who knew my 13 year old phase would come back 10 years later and help me out !!!

anyways so Niall is across the street and I’m just fighting w myself debating if I should go up to him or not 😭😭 the saying never meet ur heroes is kinda true JDKDKAKA it changes u & all the expectations u have! Ultimately I figured that this was my 1 chance to say something so I just went for it. If I didn’t I’d probably regret it for the rest of my life!

I just know my voice was shaky and I was super nervous but niall was so sweet and patient <3 like I felt so bad just going up to him 😭😭 hes just out and about… trying to be incognito & enjoy some free time FJSKKA like I am quite aware but when else could this happen u feel 🥲 anyways here is the convo from what I remember bc I blacked out (as u do when u meet ur fave)

me: hi Niall!! just wanted to say hi and let you know how excited I am to see you perform tonight and tomorrow <3

niall: hi how are you! oh you’re going to both shows? is that right? we’re actually headed to the venue now

me: oh! If that’s the case I don’t wanna keep you guys. Would it be alright if we took a photo?

niall: yes of course!

the photos (cropped myself out bc Toronto humidity is my enemy & I was a sweaty mess from walking back to the air bnb)

and then I just say thank u so much! see u at the show hahaha and SPRINT OFFFFJFKSKAK like I ran so fast bc I needed to get away and scream 😭😭

mind u I be carrying my leftovers the entire time JFKSKAK SO FUNNY

I DIDNT EVEN INTRODUCE MYSELF! WISH I TOLD HIM I FLEW MY ASS OUT! THAT HE NEEDS TO TOUR MORE CITIES IN CANADA! TO PUT NEW ANGEL ON THE SETLIST!! so much I wish I said but again thankful they were on the way to the venue so I was forced to keep it short so I didn’t continue to yap and embarrass myself further. it could’ve been so much worse! just gotta remind myself that.

sat in the air bnb for like 2 hours in silence trying to process what happened fjdjskks would’ve been longer but I had to get to the show! anyways I was like 15 rows back on the floor and had the best time <3

june 29: Toronto night 2!!!

I’m sat 2nd row floor… right next to the barricade and I’m so close I know that niall can see me 😭😭😭 idk if it’s the delusion but I keep making eye contact with niall and he keeps looking at me! probs thinking oh is it that weirdo from the street yesterday 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 LMFAO but U TELL ME!! IS IT DELUSION BC I THINK I GOT PROOF RIGHT HERE

felt too perceived by him tbh JDKKA needed to run and hide! like eye contact was crazy djdjjsjs

OKAY THAT IS ALL FOR NOW I THINK! if u made it this far I am so amazed ty for reading the rambles <3

[cam-stopped-eating-candles]

Choir members death study Drabble for day 14 <3 @june-doe-event

I might edit this later and work it into a more cohesive fic for ao3 (there’s some expansion on penny being in a coma I wanna do)

(Uh content warning yeah pretty bloody lol)

It happens in just a few seconds, nobody is given any time to process. Folks crowd around the scene, some sporting red freckles on their faces and nice white shirts. It’s an agonizing wait for those who don’t die on impact. They almost envy those who fell meerly fell asleep and never woke up.

Ocean was impaled with the thin metal handlebar jutting straight through her stomach, tingling her spine. It was like being drugged, everything being so much more sensitive, the colors, the lights, the heightened awareness of just what’s happening. It was life or death, win or lose, but there’s nothing she could do to manipulate her outcome. Even with her great wit and achievement she’s no better off than any of the rest of her choir mates. The shock and adrenaline kept her awake; she wished it didn’t.

Noel couldn’t bear the tingling sensation that shot through his wrists. He reaches out his hand, and just wants to feel goddammit, anything. He doesn’t know what he’s touching, somebody's shoulder maybe? He doesn’t know what to say, he can’t think of anything to say. In the heat of the moment, he doesn’t have any poetic last words before he loses feeling up to his elbows. He didn’t like tragedy so much when it actually struck him.

Mischa lies on his side, blood running from his head and chest down the slight hill like water from a river. He gently drifts off Clutched tightly in his dead hands is his wounded fragile heart; a splintered chunk of wood staked through it. Everyday he wished he never left home, and that day was no exception.

Ricky suffocates in the grass, landing face down, he can’t breathe through the thick musky smell and blood clogging his airway. The pressure on his back decides every short staggered breath he lets out, he won’t be able to get back. Slowly losing oxygen, he sees stars dancing through his eyelids as his brain short circuits. He figured his time was coming, but not like this.

Constance tightly embraces herself, a death grip on her elbows as everything fades as soon as it starts. Her gums taste sweet through the cracks in her teeth. All the giddy rush of joy and euphoria fades away when it all sinks in. She doesn’t want to die now, of course she doesn’t, not when she finally sees how beautiful everything can be. If only she let herself enjoy it when she could.

The breath knocked out of her lungs as she hit the ground like a rag doll, Penny tumbles through the dirt, along with the cart. She clings to the safety bar that’s soon ripped out of her hand.

Having otherwise bled out, sharp scraps of metal just nearly missed major arteries in her neck, by some miracle of god (or whoever else). Her throat nearly crushed under the weight of loose debris, her head hung limp against her shoulder, her body contorted on the grass, it’s not a sight for the faint of heart. A life flashing before her eyes wouldn’t be so true as a life fading before her eyes. Facing the sky, she still tucks her doll under her arm against her body. Her fingers tangled in her silky hair, pressing her close to her side.

She ignores the suffocating smell of iron, be it from blood or the broken ride. It clogs her nose and her throat but she can’t cough it up. Her body is awfully warm for September, her face on fire, she can’t stand it. The cyclone’s colorful lights still blink faster and faster, and the other rides play their merry tunes.

While she lays motionless she has all the time she needs to think. She tries to assess her situation but she just can’t focus on anything but the pain that shoots through every inch of her body. Her mouth that gasps for air, the dirt that soon cakes itself into mud around her neck, her arms. The debris that uncomfortable pins her leg to the ground, twisting her hip and the joints that go with it in ways they shouldn’t go.

By the time ambulances arrive at the scene, everything looks grim. Others are pronounced dead as soon as they hit the ground, ribcages crushed like bugs under the heavy metal car, stomachs and such ripped from their abdomens, spines and necks snapped like twigs. She’s lucky to feel the suffocating weight lifted off her neck as people yell, soon dragged off the scene from under her arms, barely conscious with her head lolled against her shoulder.

She screws her eyes shut, flinching at any attempt to move her. She tries to fight it off, it stabs right through her, It all aches from her hip to her neck. Can’t they see they’re not helping? If she could scream she would, but all she can do is sputter up her every empty breath. If she could thrash her body instead of silently hyperventilating, she would. She would have made sure she didn't drop her doll.

She knows she can’t just lay there, her own blood turning the cold dirt to warm, wet mud. She’s not ready to bleed out on the ground and die. It’s not the right time. Not here, it just wouldn’t be fair. She never even got to make anything of herself yet. She prays she would if she’s just given the chance.

But the way the splints of wood and steel dig into her calves as she’s haphazardly pulled out of the wreck makes her wish she had just passed out already. she can’t just give up, but the earth feels so nice when it’s not being dragged against her raw nerves. Laying in the cold, she just wants to sleep, and wake up again when this is all over. Worms need something to eat after all.

Blood from god knows where leaves a path like a snail, indicating the exact place she struck the ground and cracked her skull on the frozen ground. Being tussled around on her side she drools and sputters up whatever she had been drowning in as she’s loaded onto the stretcher.

Only three other children keep their hearts beating long enough to have the privilege of being loaded onto an ambulance and driven just short of an hour to the nearest hospital. All but one had passed away on the agonizingly long trip.

Minutes before they arrive, Penny’s body finally caves; it gives in to the urge to just fall asleep until things look brighter. Nobody will give up on her just yet, they have to salvage this situation somehow. Just one line survivor is all they need to turn it from tragedy to miracle. She may never be able to talk again, breathe on her own, but at least she’d be alive.

In critical condition, she has doctors and nurses constantly monitoring her every vital sign. Through her comatose, nothing looks like it’s going to end well. The state of her life is kept highly confidential to the press, all they know is that she hasn’t died quite yet. Extremely lucky, they all say as they hold their breath and bite their tongues.

So much for “making new friends” with a fun time at the fair.

[monkeytrick]

ausjswoidwi0xei2w93294232

Ok like. Executive dysfunction. And trauma response. Are both phrases that might earn an eye roll from you and I get it. But I feel like one is the other for me and they’re both just causing a horrible loop that is making my life worse constsntly man. It really hit me today that like. Oh my god I am traumatized. I regularly will have flashbacks and either go totally limp and try to ignore everything happening and play dead or I’ll freak the fuck out and start screaming and sobbing and shit and I feel like this entire past month I’ve just been constantly going back and forth between both without any time dedicated t being a normal person which makes me feel so awful and insane because I’ve had like actual fun shit to do this month but I’ve been breaking down so fucking bad bc I literally don’t think I have the capability to live like a normal adult person is supposed to and I don’t have a choice at all because I don’t think I can ever be in contact with my family again. My dad is a domestic abuser and a methhead and an attempted rapist and I’m so scared he’s done more than attempt it since I last saw him. MULTIPLE times he just showed up st my workplace which is across the country from where he actually fucking lives without warning and when he went to jail it was in this state and not his home one. I still don’t know what the fuck he did because I only heard about it from my brother and I can’t fucking talk to anyone else in my family because I’m afraid of them all! My mom is actively without exaggeration trying to ruin my fucking life as revenge against me not talking to her because she was already doing this shit before I cut contact and will steal my money and try and track me down and threaten suicide over my continued existence. I don’t have anyone I can go to in real life about any of this shit and even the people who understand can’t help me at all. I’ve been trying to move in with my friend and after recovering from the extended mental breakdown I’ve been having all month I’m realizing I literally like. Do not have the shit I need to do that. And I don’t know if I ever will because of my family situation. I don’t know how to break it to them and I don’t know what the fuck to do because I don’t think I have an option that isn’t fucking them over extremely badly and it’s entirely my own fucking fault man bc I’ve just been trying to ignore my life so bad. I feel so bad about my current living situation bc my friend and their family were kind enough to let me stay and were really understanding initially but they all just really fucking want me gone by now which is like. Understandable. And the reasonable way to respond. But I’m so scared because I need to be out of here by the end of june and I think my best option is subletting on my own but I feel more certain and terrified every day that I’m just going to be homeless and fired from the job I currently have before I’m 21. I don’t even want to be someone that wants to kms anymore but I feel like god is like literally actually punishing me for existing and I can’t bring myself to deal with living at all. I’m not going to kill myself now and I have stupid reasons to continue being alive but they are reasons but I feel like the only way to stay set on that path and not change my mind and go insane and fucking die is if I get in a psych ward right the fuck now and trying to review my options there is making me even more miserable bc I don’t think I’m even on health insurance anymore and I don’t think I’d be able to get on it in time to not go insane and be a danger to myself. No matter what I am going to be in horrific debt. I just don’t know what to fucking do man. I haven’t looked at any of my texts in like 3 days because I am so fucking scared. I no wanna be around anymore. I cannot bring myself to do fucking snything

[residentmiddlechild]

Pull the plug in September I don't wanna die in June I’d like to start planning my funeral I've got work to do, mmm

Pull the plug, make it painless I don't want a violent end

Don’t say that you'll always love me 'Cause you know I'd bleed myself dry for you Over and over again

Doomsday is close at hand I'll book the marching band To play as you speak

I'll feel like throwin' up You'll sit and stare Like a goddamn machine

I’d like to plan out my part in this But you’re such a narcissist You'll probably do it next week I don’t get a choice in the matter Why would I? It's only the death of me Only the death of me

Pull the plug, but be carеful I don't wanna die too soon I think there's good in you somewhere I’ll hang on 'til the chaos is through

Doomsday is close at hand I'll book the marching band To play as you speak

I'll feel like throwin' up You'll sit and stare Like a goddamn machine

The death of me was so quiet No friends and family allowed Only my murderer, you, and the priest Who told you to go to Hell

And the funny thing is I would've married you If you'd have stuck around

Doomsday is close at hand I booked the marching band To play as you speak

I feel like throwin' up You sit and stare Like a goddamn machine

I'd have liked to plan out my part in this But you're such a narcissist That you did it on Halloween I had no choice in the matter Why would I? It's only the death of me

______________________________________________________________

Padme Amidala - Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith Song: Doomsday by Lizzy McAlpine