#i don't know i don't know anything sometimes i wish i did
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I’m a pwASPD who used to harm animals as a kid, I don’t feel remorse for it because I just can’t. If I was able to, I would and even without remorse I wish I wouldn’t have done it because logically I shouldn’t have.
I have only mentioned this to very few people that I trust to be understanding and not hold my actions as a child against me now as an adult. I’m good with animals now, I’ve rescued small wild animals quite a few times. But I’m afraid that won’t matter to anyone if they find out how I was with animals as a child and think I shouldn’t be around animals at all.
I don’t like that I used to fit this stereotype but there’s nothing I can do except treat animals the best I can now going forward.
If no one else gets it - and I'm sure they will at least from the community here - I want you to know that I see you and I know it was symptoms and not a reflection on you. While I managed control over these urges as a child, I found myself fighting and sometimes having to entirely avoid certain animals so that I didn't engage in that behavior. It was hard. I'm glad you've learned how to avoid those urges, and I think the animals in question would forgive you if they understood the circumstances. Reminder that there are disorders that can cause animals who wouldn't otherwise act out violently to do so too. And remorse is not required for you to be doing the right thing. It wasn't this fun thing you did and don't feel bad about bc you want to continue doing it or anything - it is a symptom of your disorder and you are already are by choosing to do better. The animals you help now are aware of the good you've done for them, and that's enough, at least in my opinion./gen
Plain text below the cut:
If no one else gets it - and I'm sure they will at least from the community here - I want you to know that I see you and I know it was symptoms and not a reflection on you. While I managed control over these urges as a child, I found myself fighting and sometimes having to entirely avoid certain animals so that I didn't engage in that behavior. It was hard. I'm glad you've learned how to avoid those urges, and I think the animals in question would forgive you if they understood the circumstances. Reminder that there are disorders that can cause animals who wouldn't otherwise act out violently to do so too. And remorse is not required for you to be doing the right thing. It wasn't this fun thing you did and don't feel bad about bc you want to continue doing it or anything - it is a symptom of your disorder and you are already are by choosing to do better. The animals you help now are aware of the good you've done for them, and that's enough, at least in my opinion./gen
#tw animal injury#aspd-culture-is#aspd culture is#aspd culture#actually aspd#aspd#aspd awareness#actually antisocial#antisocial personality disorder#aspd traits#anons welcome
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not to be about opera again but to be about opera again. as an art form it has the reputation of being super stuffy and something for snobs who don't know how to have fun only but honestly this was one of, perhaps even THE main theatrical entertainment for centuries. i wish people knew how hard these things can go and how engaging they can be. like characters kill and die and fight wars and (almost) commit human sacrifice left and right. characters fall in love they mourn they're ecstatic they cry they're furious it's an extremely dramatic and emotional art form! and i understand that opera does not appear approachable bc of the general conventions of the art form but i promise old works can be fun and engaging if you go watch them with some preparation beforehand (reading the libretto helps) - not to mention not all operas are old bc there are so many modern operas which engage with topical events! also the music slaps.
#le triomphe de trajan (1807) out here calling for a man's execution with this banger:#point de grace pour ce perfide; que tout sons sang coule sur un autel#(no grace for this treacherous man; let all his blood flow on an altar)#this is also annoying to me when people write historical fic and the characters treat the opera as this elitist thing#that they don't know anything about.#you know when they go to the opera reluctantly and then they have no idea what's going on on stage or who the composer is.#which is. very unlikely for anyone with the money to attend an opera in certain opera houses in the 19th c. tbqh#like im more of an expert on paris and vienna idk what it was like in london#but if you were decently (upper) middle class or nobility (esp in paris) you went regularly. this was like a whole social space too#i recently read a fanfic and one of the characters was like 'oh it's in italian. i don't know that' and the other character went like#'it's by a man called donizetti what did you expect'#(this was situated in 19th century london)#like first of all. donizetti was NOT a librettist he was a composer he did not write the text#and second of all. he worked on french operas ?? so did rossini. and spontini.#opera was an incredibly international art form. also bc productions would be performed in different countries all the time#(sometimes changed and/or translated but not necessarily)#and again like i said. this was one of THE main forms of entertainment. people were familiar with its conventions! it was well-liked!#ofc bc of the seating prices it was not very accessible to lower classes most of the time#but lbr most characters that get written into an opera scene in fiction are at the very least decently bourgeois lol#i wish people knew how to properly historicise forms of entertainment whose reputation has changed in the modern era#from what it was a century or more ago#very adjacent to people 'cancelling' old lit bc of 'bad takes' like idk how to tell you this but people thought different back then#completely different world view from what we have today. that does not make lit from that era irredeemable it is just from a diff. time#acknowledging that and reading the text critically but also still enjoying it are things that go tgt here#ok rant over (it is never over)#curry rambles
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You know, looking at a diet soda can it occurs to me that it might not be so wretched to me if the cans weren't so unpleasant
Like we know that things like color play a role in how our brain perceives things, and I realized looking at the can that they're always this bland but at the same time nasty looking silver and it just... it looks foul and I think that compounds with the fact that I also just plain don't like diet soda
My point here isn't to say anyone else shouldn't like diet soda, just how I never realized how much of an impact the can has on me not liking it... there's just something offputting about it to me
#I don't ever drink soda these days#like I drink so little soda that root beer is basically something I treat like a dessert at this point#and it's funny; cause I drank nothing but soda when I was a teen#it was just kinda like a switch flipped one day; no idea on why#which is a shame; cause I've known people who really really wanted to stop drinking soda and... I wish I could tell them what I did#but... I kinda didn't do anything; I just changed#would love if I could give practical advice#now; you'll never hear me shitting on people for drinking soda; or have me sitting here telling people how awful it is#we all know what soda is; I mean man... you wouldn't have helped me if you lectured me back when I was drinking nothing but soda#in fact you'd probably have held me back from whatever clicked to make me stop cause you would have annoyed me#...but I don't miss it; now it's so damn sweet to me cause I got sometimes years without drinking it#nah... occasional root beer at a specific pizza place or with dessert; that suits me just fine#anyway; what my real point was is take my thoughts on diet soda with that grain of salt that I don't like regular soda either#I'll take regular over diet any day cause I prefer the sweeteners... like... if it's gonna be a once in a blue moon thing#I know which sweetener I'd rather taste; and it's not gonna be that big a deal to me either way cause I have it so rarely#but yeah; when I make this observation know it comes from someone that never drinks soda#so it's not like my input is that important or useful#...and yet... I'm not gonna go look up how to spell it; but you know barques... barks? you know that one root beer has a silver can#and that wasn't as much of a problem though... I think that even though I liked it the can was a hang up for me that spoiled it a little#really I just like all the brands of root beer; they're all different; but all good in their own way#I should go to Japan and preform as a masochist for them; since my understanding is the general consensus there is#that root beer tastes like medicine; let me put on a show as a weird american who drinks the thing they think is bad and enjoys it
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#SOMETHING FEELS AMISS: musings.#I DID NOT WISH TO STARTLE YOU: playlist.#ahh. this song is SUCH a bop and it's also sooo applicable to bunny mask bc she would absolutely tell her partner not to break her heart-#and not in a threatening way or anything. but just in a ' please don't do it because i genuinely don't think i would survive it ' kind of-#way. because when she is in love with someone she is truly willing to do anything for them and bunny mask may or may not 'accidentally'-#fall in love with people sometimes. though ofc it's actually not an accident because there was just something about them to her that was so-#magnetizing you know? and that's the best way i could describe it. i feel like bunny mask HAS experienced or will experience unrequited love#in the future sadly because bunny mask is a naturally nuturing being when she isn't literally slaying people (JSJSJ) and so she gets really-#attached to people when she likes them. and this could result in her falling in love with them when she didn't mean to so yeahhh
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parts from the camelot revival cast recording that make me smile, act 2
not comprehensive. might be in an order. featuring 20% more jordan donica.
ENTR'ACTE. we've got the true theatre experience guys (minus the exit music.)
jordan donica's perfect french during the madrigal
the hazy, in-the-other-room feel of the madrigal strings at the beginning of "if ever i would leave you"
jordan donica's perfect vowels.
the dreamy strings when lance comes back in after the instrumental interlude
"it's not the earth the meek inherit, it's the dirt." / again with lerner's lyrics, but taylor trensch does a such good job making them come alive.
"...and fidelity is only for your mate!" / shouted towards the direction where arthur disappeared. have to say, i do love mordred's fierce loyalty to his mother even if he is a toad.
[guenevere, whistling terribly] "stop! you are terrible at whistling!"
"i'm a beginner! i just need practice and encouragement!" / "the very last thing you should have is encouragement." / WHAT are the implications of that statement, arthur???
"my father used to say i sang like an angel who'd been blessed with a particularly pretty singing voice." / this joke has no right being so good.
"what do simple folk do... to forget?" / love that this line could be played ironically or straight.
"what else do the simple folk--" / sighing: "genny." / when i tell you that i almost melted when i heard this on the cast recording
that verse in "fie on goodness" that's just about scotland, and then: "fie on scotland, fie!!!"
the entire ensemble during "guenevere"
trumpet fanfare/snare hit after arthur says "those guards are going to die tonight"!
the slow dirge of winds and percussion at the end of "guenevere"
#some explanations in the tags:#listen. i ADORE jordan donica's voice. i just don't like lancelot (kidding)#lest you think that i'm not giving jordan donica enough credit (he deserves all the credit!!!)#also jordan donica's “perfect french” is 50% a joke. i don't speak french so anything sounds good to me#also ALSO yes i do recognize that this is basically all of “what do the simple folk do”#it's my fav song to sing of act 2 (i KNOW what y'all are thinking. i'm not a bari so i can't exactly sing the same octave as jordan donica)#sometimes i like to pretend that A and G patch it up after that song and then musical ends there. happily ever after.#i almost included something about the finale ultimo but honestly it's too sentimental for me to like that much and i wish they had used the#full ensemble for the camelot theme at the end like they did at the tonys. alas. beggars choosers etc. etc.#also can someone/some people set the record straight as to guenevere's nickname? is it ginny or genny or jenny? i think i'm hearing it on#the cast recording as “ginny” but i don't remember what it sounded like to me when i saw it live#camelot musical#camelot revival
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Did that fav pkmn thing on a whim and I'm sorry for all my babies I didn't choose bc I really like too many by some.
Love how it's mostly pretty ones and then there's clodsire. Even tho I got it in my team since the beginning of violet do I continuously forget its name bc I just call it by the nickname blobby (one of the rare times I didn't spend hours googling the perfect nickname but it nonetheless is a perfect one)
And for fun without any legendaries as fav
Reg nicknames I even write all down so I only spend decades once for each pkmn (unless I don't like the prev one anymore). Need to update that someday since it's mostly old revolution ones but hey. Blaze do I use for arcanine nowadays more and ninetails got others. Gardevoir got soteria nowadays which I prefer more. Etc.
#a wild lux appears#(made this in december but for whatev reason left it in drafts until now. prob bc I wanted to limit non important posting idk)#Maybe you think garchomp is there bc of other reasons but I use it since dpp bc cynthia made kid me go 'woah!'#I remember having looked up as a kid to cynthia and juniper a lot and that fact n reason behind it makes me also go yeah no I was a girl wh#one day decided to be happier otherwise. Bc the reason was 'oh wow female and cool so I can indeed be that :0' most importantly with junipe#bc I never cared for battles. ye ye ignore fictional professions I was like 8. reason I loath alola tbh I missed doing non battle side stuf#I vividly remember picking my first pkmn game up (hg) and just immediately going fuck being a trainer let me be a prof and it's so funny ho#my horrendous sieve brain has that laser ingrained. Sometimes still brainstorm and I would prob study ghost pkmn tbh who by sheer luck isn'#dead yet. That and maybe being v charismatic to that type idk. Why bc I like those lil fellas.#What I also find extremely funny is having went by sonia prior to swordshield and there being a prof sonia. Wish I still went by it when it#dropped. Imagine. Kid sonia wanting to be a prof and meeting swsh sonia being on her way to be one. I either would've made her my#personality (which I think I nonetheless did I think I changed my icons to her) or would've wildly shaking her going 'it should have been#meeee'. which ig I mentally do by every rival or friend group person that takes that route like take me w you I hate battles please. Insane#that only blueberry academy me start to hate em slightly less. After over a decade of battles. Ig alpharad's n others streams w nuzlockes n#all started to also show me the appeal of actually strategizing instead of brute forcing which I did.#*that only blueberry academy MADE me#Whatev. Also no I don't got anything else that another pkmn would kickstart talking abt. Just know I drag my 2013 xerneas everywhere w me#and it is a fucking crime that I can't throw it into violet. What is this. You clearly don't mind throwing others into regions they don't#belong to at all (which I personally really dislike hc lore wise but gameplay wise whatever let new trainers catch old legendaries)#To come back to fav pkmn yes I'm in the dragonair boat. I hate evolving mine. Dragonite is fine I like it standalone but I like the#aesthetic of dragonair more. Idfc abt logic or whatever this is aesthetic talk. Yes I prefer some fan evos more.#I keep wanting to play that fusion fangame and if you want to know what pkmn I like I found out I have a huge overlap w alpharad there#Which sucks for us both! We adore pkmn that get lewded the most and I hate my life. You do you idc some are humanoid I have to admit that#but I personally would prefer to not see any art or even just jokes abt ANY of that. Humanoid or not I Do Not See.#I don't block let alone report over that just. tag and don't bring that to my doorstep thx.#What I will at most block n judge is if you touch any of the kids idc in this franchise if they're just pixels.#Can you tell I am writing this close to midnight anyways this is all. This became like a completely dif post in the tags welp
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It's that "spend hours sobbing my eyes out in bed for several reasons, including but not limited to the fact tomorrow is Monday, the fact my social battery has been completely drained and won't recover anytime soon, the fact my landlady is due to show up tomorrow evening and will likely piss me off again, the fact I've had the urge to write since Friday and ended up not writing even a single fucking word, the fact exam pressure keeps rising and I still don't know what to do with my life after I'm done with school, and the fact I'm both completely overwhelmed and so terribly lonely at the same time" kind of Sunday evenings
#I'm so fucking exhausted. both mentally and emotionally#I spent the night at my grandma's and then my friend came over and spent the night the following day#and I don't count it as a day off unless I don't go anywhere or see anyone#so you could say I didn't really have a weekend#idk how I'll go to school tomorrow. I think even one person talking to me would make me fucking explode#and yet. despite all that. I feel completely alone#because no one I know irl can provide me with the comfort I so desperately need#spending time with people is all a big distraction from my depressive thoughts#and the second everyone leaves.. I feel more alone than ever. so completely and utterly lonely#I try to fill the void with my imagination. lose myself in my oc verse. and it helps sometimes#but when I'm not feeling particularly inspired or can't some up with anything good... I just end up feeling worse than I did before#everything I do is to distract myself from my mind because the second I'm left alone with my thoughts..#they go to a very dark place very quickly#like now. when my wrists itch and I can't stop crying and know full well that I'll go to bed in a few hours wishing to never wake up#and I'm left with nothing but a gaping hole in my chest. aching for arms to fall into and a shoulder to cry on#despite knowing it's not something I'll ever have#so I grit my teeth and bear it and hold on. for whatever reason#I don't know why I haven't give up yet. it's all arbitrary reasons like 'my friends would be sad if I was gone'#even in matters like these all I end up worrying about is what other people would think. not my own feelings#well. nobody has anything to worry about concerning me anyway. I'm too much of a coward to do anything#if I wasn't I wouldn't have lived to see my 14th birthday#and yet 4 years later I'm still here. wishing for an instantaneous way out that didn't involve me raising a hand against myself#because I really don't know how long I'll be able to take all this for. I don't have much left in me#I'm holding on by a thread. one too close to snapping. I'm scared of how few reasons I can come up with to keep going#I don't see a future ahead of myself. no college or uni or job or relationship or anything that might be worth staying around for#any attempts to imagine what life would be like after graduation are just.. dark and bleak and empty#I haven't got a single clue what I'm going to end up doing. maybe that's why I see so little worth in trying to figure it out#nothing in this world will make me truly happy. I don't have a future#and if I don't have a future... I don't have any reasons to stick around any further#if only I wasn't so much of a coward
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posting your artwork publically can be so rewarding and so motivating but most of the time it just results in psychological turmoil inflicted on yourself
#like oh my god girl help#im so sad and over my confidence to do with my art being paper thin and fragile but nothing changes no matter how much i like a piece#i hate the idea that artists only draw for interaction bc i definitely do not do that id have to be stupid to with the stuff i draw#but i also hate the idea that artists shouldn't want interaction on their work? like it's a very human emotion to want your work to be seen?#i just wish people liked my stuff more truly. im aware my style is specific and to a particular taste and ik that my work isn't the like#high flawless standard of most traditional art that gets posted. like ik that and like god i wish i had that skill level but i don't!!#i like what i do tho i just wish it felt like a lot of other people did idk maybe that's vain or something. I don't know!!#i wish i did digital art but i hate working digital lol#ppl don't believe me when i say that digital art is preferred over traditional online but i rlly believe it's true#and if your traditional art does well it's at the level of digital art flawlessness#im simultaneously like im too young to be crazy good like other people online but also im too old to be on the path to getting good. yk#i blame it on a small fandom sometimes but that's unfair bc art within small fandoms still does really well#idk i think im just a flop probably but also i think im insecure. schrodinger's online artist crisis#anyways sorry ignore this im just running my mouth don't pity reblog my shit or anything i don't want that#idk what i want but it's not that lmao#i think i want to be better at art and i want people to like my art. which i have like minimal control over.#being an artist is fun until the turmoil sets in
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it would be cool if talking to my mom could help me feel better for once instead of. making everything worse
#sometimes i get so violently jealous of people who have good relationships with their moms#and who can go to their mom with any problem and just get a hug and some good advice#or even just reassurance that it will be okay#like my mom came over for a couple hours and i literally told her yesterday about how depressed i am#and that it's really bad and that i need to go on antidepressants#so why tf did she think i was in any frame of mind to be nagged for two hours straight about logistics and plans for the future#like. i don't have any bandwidth right now!!! for anything!!! take the fucking hint!!!#i ended up bursting into tears and telling her to either knock it off or get out of my house and. well. she left! so#my dad is usually my supportive parent but he's dealing with such bad depression and burnout of his own rn#that i can't really go to him with anything cause he's at capacity and i don't want to stress him out#just. im tired I'm so fucking tired im exhausted there's too much to worry about and she came over and put like twenty more things#on my plate#and tried to pick fights#and i just. idk. i wish i could rely on her. but i can't and i know that and IDK why i keep trying#delete later
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Re: Hunting for Sport Poll though, I do want to add (separately) that you don't have to feel bad about not knowing the history of every place on Earth, even the famous bits. The world is very large and history is very long and there is no way you'll ever know even a basic outline of everyone's national histories unless you spend all day every day doing nothing else. Think of how much time you spent in school in a history class and it's no longer quite so shocking that you don't know even quite major things from the history of wherever you live.
So, like. Don't beat yourself up over things you didn't know because nobody ever taught them to you. And hey, you know now!
#i have a history degree and there's huge bits of just UK history i know nothing about. because history is rly big!#it's like that douglas adams quote about space but with dead people in it#and after undergrad it'd be increasing detail about less and less span of history#you didn't choose your school's curriculum did you? no you didn't.#and you also had (still have really) all of science and animals and art and literature and etc you could learn about!#i def sometimes think “i wish more people knew about [THING]” but i know there's a lot of (sometimes very good) reasons they don't#besides beating yourself up for your past ignorance doesn't really help anyone with anything anyway does it?#i still remember when someone i knew suddenly asked me “have you ever heard of the Armenian Genocide?” - she wasn't into history really#she'd found out because she'd visited the Vatican while an Armenian was being made a saint and it was mentioned in the service#(do they call that a service?) there was an Armenian priest and he talked about it and she'd then spent several weeks when she got home#asking people if they knew about. because she was so shocked that nobody including her knew about this thing#but now she knows! and so do the people she told about it! she has kept that information circulating among people who normally#wouldn't ever hear about it.#(i can't even remember why i'd heard of it - it might have come up at university when we did the Nazis?)#history stuff#like idk don't revel in ignorance but don't guilt endlessly about stuff you just didn't know yet because nobody told you#you can't google something you didn't know even happened right?
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frankly, i wish MY autistic burnouts were caused by shit as real as hiding that my 5 friends murdered someone.
#that's what that was and you cannot convince me otherwise#they just kicked my man from his high functioning era into just full executive dysfunction meltdown#and he's everything unhinged#and they don't make like. youtube video essays in the 80s. all he has is pussy and yelling at charles.#i mean like... one day when IM myself not in burnout i might explain why bunny's attitude while hiding the murder is a good example#of burnout and demand avoidance in autistic people#but just trust me until then that he both believes and doesn't believe anything he says#but he is certainly... real#that's what being “unmasked” is like when people are used to you being high masking#you're rude you eat like shit you're “unhinged” and afraid and you lash out at people#because you secretly want it because you always think they hate you and you're a nuisance#and sometimes you are!#but there's also the element of that...... he lashes out at THEM#he keeps THEIR secret. as much as he can. even when he knows it's wrong.#when he knows it damages HIM#because bunny undeniably loved the greek class. a lot.#and did what he did not only to keep himself safe but them.#but he also fucking hates them and wishes they died sometimes.#and is aware they don't know him don't like him#but the thing is.... i don't think anyone does in his mind truly know him and truly love him#so it's alright#i literally want to tear myself apart the way i UNDERSTAND the way that brain fucking works in that situation
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always wild to find out a blog you've never interacted with blocked you
#i just wanted to reblog a post about bi paxton :(#god i wish i knew when i was blocked#was it my bitching about this season?#cause that'd be fair#i have complained about b*nvi & how the writers handled ben's character development a lot recently#but also I didn't think I did/said anything controversial enough to be blocked??#like I always tag my posts properly bc I know how annoying it is to run into hate in the main tags#and I don't ignore or intentionally misconstrue canon to make my arguments#yeah i'm harsh on b*nvi and ben sometimes but I also try to keep it fair#and i don't think ben is irredeemably awful or anything#I just think that the writers could've done a better job with his (and the ship's) development and then I would've been fine with b*nvi#not that you need like. a Good Reason to justify blocking someone obviously#i just personally only block people for bad tagging etiquette or if they try to pick a fight with me directly#my post#personal#delete later
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So because I'm on antidepressants now I'm apparently not allowed to have any bad days. Like, not sure how to explain that that's not how it works and that ignoring me and refusing to speak to me isn't going to help.
#vent post#personal#I'm just fucking tired today and need a distraction because yesterday sucked#i just wanted to go to a bookstore or a garden center for my birthday and instead i had to sit in silence while my partner played games#for literally the entire day while not speaking to me because they were concentrating#and half the time they wanted the lights off because the gets dark at times and they refuse to adjust the settings#so i couldn't even crochet or read without leaving the room which just made them whine about it later#and i know i don't expect anything anymore for my birthday but being ignored by the one person who promised to never do so hurts#it's like being a kid again and getting told that you're not important and that everyone else gets to dictate what you do on your day#when everyone else got treated like royalty on theirs#i sit at home all day every day with no one to talk to so it's not much to want to have some kind of interaction#and yeah I'm literally complaining about nothing but it hurts so much sometimes to be reminded that I'm not really worth much#i did get some presents and one way really nice#but to immediately after just be left alone and forgotten kind of makes me wish they had just actually forgotten#to top it off the night ended with my estranged family trying to text a different family member about how they forgot again to send a card#immediately followed by oops you weren't supposed to see that because we love and care about you#like please stop and just leave me alone#i don't want anything from you guys ever again because you expect too much in return#and i remember the shit you used to say about and to me and the blame you laid on me#just stop pretending like you care and leave me alone#so today is just hard for stupid reasons and i don't really have a reason for being super depressed but i am#and getting mad that I'm crying isn't going to help#i need a distraction and can't have one and just can't cope#might go buy myself something nice off ebay to try and feel better but also the present i bought myself got stolen so maybe i won't
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.,. ._. <- small guys :0
#just me hi#wish i could make one that looks like a frog‚ but alas#//ANYWAY i just realized recently that i don't have any good refs for Oath lol???#i've had this dude for a solid year and i never made a ref for him hhh#the fact that i didn't Need one though is nice lol#like his face is either covered or you can't see anything past the shoulders hfdhjhsjhf#How Did This Happen#even AURA has a ref and i forget she exists sometime [dies]#but Anyway i Am making a full-body piece rn so :3 maybe it'll look nice but also i am Scared of what i'm going to do rn hfvbhfsj#not confidant in my ability to draw lighting things but a lack of confidence failed to stop me before so !!#//also trying to finish up on this fpaa chap but i keep adding things to the dialogue and ohhhhhhhhhhh my gooooooooosh i need to stooooooop#hfdj i just wanna Finish the darn thing!! i'd Like to figure out where this story Going already hhvdhbdj#i have a Pretty Good Vague Idea of where it's goin but also i don't know what i'm doing lollll#done that before tho so we'll survive bdshbvd#//also question is it‚ like‚ bad to stare off into oblivion while paying for stuff at the gas station#because my brother was paying and i always feel like i'm being weird when i clock out for a moment hbvhdfj#'oh we're not doing anything. good byeₑₑ'#Worse when I'm paying and the employee is doin stuff. do i also need to do stuff ? ??#i'm confuzzled and stricken with the Curses in public hvhfjshfsj#//but ANYWAY i'm gonna go tryta finish my two things i have going on lol :DD#toodlesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss !!
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Awww I feel the same way about Joel! You can tell this band means the world to him and it's endearing 🥺 I also love how he doesn't always say/do the right socially acceptable things and I relate a lot to that 😅
yeeeeessss he wears his heart on his sleeve and doesn't sugarcoat his words 😅💞 actually that's what I love about the whole band; they are just so genuine and...real? What you see is exactly what you get 🥰
I can still remember the exact moment I totally fell for Joel for good, which also happened to be the moment I decided I need to see them live, even though I was super nervous about going to my first ever BC concert. In August 2021, Niko and Joel were being interviewed live on TV (on Viiden jälkeen) and they were asked if they have someone who's in charge of their social media (i.e. a professional), and Joel answered that they had actually been offered a person to do all that but that they want to do it themselves, because they want it to be 100% authentic. I nearly started crying on the spot, because how many bands/singers DO that?! Most of them are HAPPY to have someone else handle all that for them, but no, not Blind Channel 🥺
#although ngl sometimes for joel's sake i wish they did have a social media person outside the band#he sometimes takes it a little too...seriously#btw i also think that their genuiness and authenticity is what made them so lovable and thus so succesful in UMK and ESC#the eurovision audience can be ruthless and definitely will notice if you're faking it (ANY audience will)#i always think how teflon brothers had a fun song and was a definite threat to BC in UMK2021#but then they wore those ridiculous alien costumes on stage in hopes of being ''the meme entry'' that year 😐#meanwhile BC came as themselves. nothing more nothing less. take it or leave it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#and we took them <3#because they simply don't know HOW to be anything else but themselves#fast forward to this year's UMK -> robin has a lot in common with them in this sense#he is incredibly down to earth and it's impossible to hate his person#hating robin would be like hating idk puppies?#and i really really REALLY hope he's got a nice song in store for us for monday#because if the song is great then the rest will take care of itself#not sure how i ended up talking about robin all of a sudden lol this is my train of thought everyone#sometimes i have thoughts and a need to let them out
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I feel like I'm definitely on team "Imogen likes animals better than people, or at least sympathizes more with them." seeing this episode.
#because they haven't spent 10 years loudly and unwittingly encroaching on her sensory tolerance#Imogen: a ridin' goat is an innocent creature that never knowingly did anything to anyone.#People though.#INCORRECT QUOTES#CR3#CR3-56#memes#I am also looking forward to her threatening to use her spooky moon powers#to forcibly eject Otohan from the continent of Marquet#followed by all of her internal organs shortly after.#I feel like Imogen while not one of my diehard favorites (that honor would go to Laudna)#kind of deserves to make the list of ''favorite characters of mine who would maul me on sight''#because I'm one of those people who really fucking wishes *I* would shut up sometimes#but this mental fuck train does not stop even for me#I don't know I need to go the fuck to sleep
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