#i don't know what this is but I've been thinking about it for literal years

[zorrasucia]

look at how well you take me. even though it's been so long.

for carmy x reader PLEASE

Hello Anon! 💜

Gladly! I wrote this as a loose sequel to this, though it's only relevant in that Reader is Chef Terry's goddaughter and they met back in Copenhagen. I hope you like it! 😊

Carmy burst through the door of your hiding spot, making you jump in shock.

"Fuck!" he cursed. "Sorry, thought this was empty."

He was about to leave without even looking at you and you reached for him.

"Carmy?" you held his wrist.

He finally saw your face. "Oh, my God!" he exclaimed and immediately enveloped you in a tight hug.

You hadn't seen each other in literal years but even so, his hold felt a little too intense and desperate.

"You okay?" you whispered.

"Um, I don't- I don't know," his voice broke and you could hear the tears he was holding back.

"It's okay, Carm," you squeezed him, putting more of your weight into the hug. "I'm right here."

You stayed there, running your fingers soothingly on his shoulders and the nape of his neck.

He sniffled. "You're here," he repeated. After a pause he mumbled: "Why are you here?"

"I came for the funeral," you replied quietly. You thought it would be obvious, given that you were both inside the cloakroom of Aunt Terry's restaurant but Carmy seemed very disoriented. "I couldn't miss it. It's Ever."

"It's Ever," Carmy hummed in agreement. "Uh, I meant what are you doing here in the cloakroom."

"I'm not made for networking," you sighed. "I needed a break. And, well, I don't smoke - so the cloakroom seemed a good idea."

"I'm trying to quit smoking. Maybe you're right and this is a good spot," he said gently.

He took a step back, a little more collected, even if his eyes still looked teary in the halflit room.

You smiled. "It's good to see you, Carm. I thought you were still in New York," you said and it felt a little too formal for the way you were holding each other just seconds ago.

"No, I've been, uh, been in Chicago the last few months... Two years now, shit..." it seemed like he was realizing it just as he was saying it.

"Is it nice? Being home?" you asked, tilting your head, studying his reaction.

"Uh, sure, yeah. I opened a restaurant that might close next week if we don't get a good review but, uh, you know," he said flatly.

You reached for his hand and rubbed his knuckles.

"Is that why you're upset?"

"Huh?" he furrowed his eyebrows.

"Just now? Like I get how it would be upsetting to attend a funeral when your own restaurant might-" you explained your reasoning.

"Oh! No, it's not-" he squeezed his eyes shut. "I, uh, ran into my asshole boss. From New York. He's- He messed me up real bad," he was still avoiding your gaze but he let you cup his face, comforting him. "So I, I confronted him and he, uh, he thinks he did me a favor. Like, shit, I knew he was a fucking psychopath but he doesn't even care. He doesn't-"

His voice broke again and you brought him back into your arms, his face tucked to the side of your neck, tears wetting your skin.

"It's okay. You're okay," you caressed his hair. "I'm right here, Carmy."

He nodded, unable to speak for a while. He squeezed you, his nose buried deep in the crook of your neck, breathing you in.

"Fuck, I've missed you."

"Missed you too," you soothed.

Slowly, his head turned and he started leaving kisses up the side of your neck, to your jaw, the side of your face, the corner of your mouth...

"This okay?" he asked, tracing the same sensual path on the other side of your neck.

"You're not thinking straight, Carm," you hummed, not making any effort to move away from his reach, carding your hands through his hair and bringing him closer instead. "You're angry. And sad."

It was so easy to forget that a few years had passed and this wasn't the Carmy you knew and cared for back in Copenhagen, not anymore.

"I'm tired of fucking thinking," he slurred, running his hands over your sides hungrily. "I want things to go quiet just for a while."

You melted, his hands breaking down whatever small resolve you had.

"Okay," you agreed, dragging him by the neck to press your lips against his.

Carmy gave you desperate kisses as he cornered you against the wall. He cupped your breasts over your dress, humming appreciatively at the low neckline.

"You look so fucking nice," he growled.

His left hand bunched up the side of your dress, trying to caress your leg. You giggled.

"Don't remember you being ticklish" he remarked, cocking his head.

"I'm not," you guided his right hand up your opposite thigh, to the high slit of your dress, giving him plenty of access without bunching up the dress.

"Fuck," Carmy groaned, his calloused hands quickly finding the edge of your lace panties. "Can I -?"

You nodded eagerly, taking his hand and looking at the new tattoos that adorned his skin.

"Please. I need your fingers," you whined.

Carmy didn't make you wait, pushing your underwear down your legs, caressing your pussy, already wet for him. He kissed your collarbone and the tops of your breasts while tracing lines between your folds, a low squelching sound coming from underneath your dress as he inserted two digits at once.

"Shit."

"My clit," you begged, angling your hips so his thumb pressed the exact spot.

He started moving, a quick and unforgiving rhythm making you melt in his arms, rolling your hips and moaning, holding tight to his shoulders to stand upright.

"Close?" he rasped.

"So fucking close."

"Will you let me fuck you against the wall after you cum?" he asked low.

It was like he flipped a switch and suddenly your pussy was fluttering around his fingers. He covered your mouth with his free hand, muffling your cries of pleasure.

"Fuck, Carmy," you panted, holding the wall for support while he unbuckled his belt.

"Shit," he stopped in his tracks and started going through the coats and jackets that were hanging on the opposite wall.

"Carm? What are you doing?"

"Just a sec," he mumbled. Once he found an informal leather jacket, he started going through its many pockets. "Come on, Richie," he whispered, then smiled in triumph as he took out a condom from the inside pocket.

"Should I ask?" you grinned, entertained watching Carmy unbutton his trousers, pump himself and roll the condom on.

"Better not," he stood in front of you, one of your arms rounded his shoulders, your free hand held his cock.

"You've always been a handful," you said - the flirtatious play on words taking you back years ago, to Copenhagen, and the first time he fucked you.

"Hmm," he closed his eyes in pleasure, completely at your mercy as you lined him up to your pussy.

He pushed lightly, an inch, then another. You whined at the stretch. "You okay?"

"It's good, so good," you managed, holding on to his shoulders, "just go slow."

Carmy nodded, the gentle movement of his hips like the swaying boat where you so often had shared a bed. You were letting out needy sounds and muffling them into your hand, as he got deeper and deeper. You encouraged him, bringing him closer by squeezing his ass, scratching at his pale skin until he was buried inside you to the hilt.

"Carm..."

He stayed still for a moment, kissing you tenderly.

"Need this," he mumbled against your lips. "Need you."

"Yeah?" you teased, circling your hips, making him moan. "How much?"

"A lot," he said, hips moving backwards slowly, his cock almost all the way out. Then, he drove back into you, quick, hard. You bit your lip to silence a high pitched moan. "A lot - a lot."

He grabbed your thighs, pressing you against the wall, lifting you.

"Fast and hard?" you suggested. You usually liked to take your time but fucking inside a closet - albeit a fancy one - asked for practicality and speed. And Carmy needed to blow off some steam.

He nodded, speechless as he started building a quick pace, driving into you like his life depended on it. You held him close, resorting to bite on the shoulder pad of his suit jacket to stay quiet.

"Wait," Carmy moved slightly, enough to press his forehead to yours and look down, hypnotized by the way his cock disappeared inside your pussy. Carmy's eyes widened, pupils blown and mouth half open. "Look at how well you take me. Even though it's been so long," he mumbled and you knew deep inside that it wasn't a line. He was truly dazed and euphoric that this was happening.

"Carm," you pleaded. "Let go for me, baby. I know you need it."

He squeezed his eyes shut. "Mhmm," he agreed, panting. "'m close."

You squeezed your pussy around his cock, watching with satisfaction as that simple effort made him lose control, rutting messily, soft grunts leaving his lips as he came hard.

"Shit," he cursed, his lips on the side of your face.

You exhaled, content, as he let you down, landing on one foot then the other. Your heels were on the floor, somewhere, lost while your legs shook around Carmy's waist. "Better? Stopped thinking for a bit?" you inquired a little cockily.

"Not sure where we are right now, to be honest," he drawled.

"Good."

[i-hate-peas]

The Old Guard Fic Recs

So I've been a long time lurker within the fandom without ever getting particularly involved, but I wanted to show some appreciation for some of the super talented people who go here, because I have read a lot of incredible TOG fic.

Most (probably all) of these authors have loads of other amazing fics, but I've tried to just chose one from each, to keep the list a vaguely reasonable length. Although then I cheated and did some honourable mentions.

** just a note to say I started this list year (s) ago and forgot about it until literally today when I saw fic recs going round. Any of these fics I haven’t put a description for it’s because I didn’t do it at the time, and if I go back to reread them all this would never be posted, not through any lack of affection or enjoyment **

If any writers want tagging/ untagging etc please let me know! (i knew/ could find some blogs more easily than others lol)

Within Canon

Old Olives by aeli_kindara

Garden of Gethsemane mention = instant tears

Death in Her Hands by superblackmarket

Nile's growing relationship with Joe and Nicky. All of their fics are so beautifully written, but I especially love Nile's relationship with the boys and her facing her own immortality.

Honourable mention: Station to Station

Between the Hour and the Age by hauntedjaeger (@hauntedfalcon)

Andy! Nile!

Ouroboros by CypressSunn (@cypresssunns)

Set after the film, literally just read it.

compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience by Jack_R

A pair of early days Joe Nicky fics that reminds me of 'my wife is a bitch and i love her so much'

let's give them something to talk about by lacecat

When The Cherries White With Blossoms, Be Ready & Be Brave by chapstickaddict

Unearthed by merle_p

I think this is one of the most kudosed fics in the AO3 tag, but it deserves the hype!

Kidnapping for Dummies by Amiril

Similar to above, already very popular, but great and very funny!

The Last Man on Earth by Survivah (@optimismology)

I will admit I don't normally go for Booker/Nile, but this fic sold it to me. Looking at them and their developing relationship as the newer immortals.

Canon Divergent

Retrograde by Pinkninja

I mean this fic is the Big Bitch of the fandom for me, if you haven't already read this, where have you been? But also if you haven't already read this I am so jealous, read it and take your time with it and bawl your eyes out over it and appreciate the joy of reading it for the first time. The level of detail and planning in this fic is indescribable. It follows Nicky trapped in a Time Travellers Wife style life where he jumps back and forth throughout his own timeline, whilst Joe lives his life in chronological order. Exquisitely written.

If Never Again, If Every Day by gallifreyburning and takiki16 (@gallifreyburning, @takiki16)

Another absolute Titan of the genre. I know you’ve already been recommended this 500 times, what more can I say.

though I'm dying to (fall in love with you) by yusufsmoon (@babygirlyusuf)

Travellers from an Antique Land by kaydeefalls (@kaydeefalls)

Andy, not Quỳnh, trapped under the sea. I love all their fics.

AUs

Makes Me Want You More by Sixthlight (@sixth-light)

Perhaps not the typical favourite choice from Sixthlight, one of my absolute favourite TOG authors, but one that is funny and lovely and sweet that I keep coming back to. Shorter than many of theirs but perfectly formed.

pumpkin gnocci verse (series) by Liadan14 (@bewires)

I mean it's got estranged family, suspenseful chronological structure, cooking, spies, intimate and honest sex scenes, hilarious misunderstandings involving keeping halal, lovely found family moments, and the actual recipes used. What more do you want.

The Reality of Everything by Marbletopempire

One of the fics I desperately waited for each instalment for. Very funny, lots of sexual tension, plenty of Cate Blanchette spotting opportunities.

sine qua non by mellyflori (@werebearbearbar)

One of the first of their fics I read, with a very sweet build up of misunderstanding to friends to lovers, involving growing up, discovering sexuality, trying to be nice about your best friend's bad boyfriend, and a long suffering sofa.

The Brooklyn Verse (series) by GayLittleEarring, yusufsmoon, nicelytousled (@marwankenzarisgaylittleearring @babygirlyusuf @nicelytousled)

I saw the creation of this on Tumblr before it was a fic, and it lived up to every expectation. Very sweet and sincere, with lots of great discussions about art, whilst also very funny (Lamp the free loader, Joe sending thirst traps out of irritation) and hot. ItalianAmericanNickyfromBrooklyn and Joe my beloveds.

a good (eighth) impression by deaniker

I love a good hook-up to 'oh shit I have feelings' fic, and this is even more entertaining because Nicky is Lykon's ex, and Joe has very much seen him at his worst.

You do not have to be good by emjee (MerryHeart) (@emjee)

At one point a tumblr post about Joe the Professor and Nicky the Priest got very popular, and I'm not sure if this fic was inspired by that, but is one of the great fics with similar concepts. Such a lovely, gentle fic about love and also identity, featuring also Nile and a very sweet snail.

it's such an almighty sound (series) by raedear (@raedear)

A secret service AU that goes full enemies to lovers, with lots of tension, plotting, betrayal, frustration, and tenderness.

Honourable mention: take my hand (you got me rockin' and rollin')

fight 'til the day that i die 'verse by incurableromancer

Suspenseful, noir, super hero AU that has such a great writing style and is very atmospheric.

if you do take a thief by knoepfchen (@knoepfchen)

Cluedo style AU with lots of fun twists and slow building of backstories, with the whole gang.

Honourable mention: life is not the things that we do (it's who we're doing them with)

[ohnoitsz1m]

HEY. hey. hlvrai airplane furries. okay?

I do plan to make more. Dw. I already know what Tommy is. And I have a pretty good idea for Coomer as well. Bubby,,, I'm conflicted. I only got around to these two because I started at like midnight and it's currently 3 am again

More explanation and rambling below

For those out of the loop Airplane Dragons are an original furry species made by scpkid in like 2015? Idk. They've been around for a while and I really like them.

I've only gotten more interested in airplane dragons in the last 4 years because I'm around planes and jets literally every day,, and while it's not anywhere near MY field of study, being around them every day, you tend to pick up a decent bit of knowledge about them, at least enough to later turn your favorite characters into planes and jets for the hell of it.

For the other characters, if I ever get around to them:

Tommy would be one of those Concorde planes.

Why? Because I think this looks absolutely ridiculous, but the function of the drooped nose is played entirely seriously in a lot of cases and it just felt very Tommy to me. I DID consider making Bubby a Concorde instead but this feels too silly for him. He would never let himself be a Concorde plane...

Coomer, I'm thinking something ww2 era. Why? Old. Military background.

I don't really have any solid ideas for Bubby, maybe it'll come to me later.

[dearweirdme]

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/760787222147547136/httpswwwtumblrcomdearweirdme7606164166353879?source=share

Hi, Korean American anon here so I'm familiar with shipping culture in South Korea (though I don't think what I'm about to say is exclusive to South Korean culture)

I'm catching up but OP is very right about the strange contradiction and it's usually that some shippers feel safe shipping m/m relationships because at heart, they don't believe that their idols can be homosexual/bisexual. Their idols are perfect and, in their opinion, anything outside of heterosexuality is flawed and abnormal...so it's a low risk form of denial over the fact that they might have to one day deal with seeing their faves in a hetero relationship.

So shipping them with a male or group member is a safer way of exploring that fantasy romantic side of their idol, seeing how cute they can be, what they'd look like as their boyfriend etc without any of the risk of having to face their idol being in a real relationship (which according to them is a hetero one) because their homophobia (concious or subconcious) won't allow them to really consider the possibility that their fave might be gay or bi and they also know that companies and artists themselves might be less willing to expose same sex relationships.

So TLDR; it's a low risk deniability and form of mental escapism from facing the reality that they nightshade to watch their idol go through a relationship.

Now in Korea, its the same thing but with a little bit of an added element to it....because fans know that Korean entertainment companies and artists are far more indulgent than western counterparts when it comes to pleasong fans and delivering what they want and protecting them from having to acknowledge that their idols are human beings with their own lives. So with Korean idols and fans, there's also an element of control.

They know that if they ship group members or idols together, companies will often jump on it and use it to foster the parasocial element that is heightend and more greatly exploited in KPOP. That means idols and companies will go to far greater lengths to hide their real relationships and so fans won't have to be exposed to something they don't want to see or acknowledge.

They can make their faves dance to the beat of their drum by shipping them with each other because they genuinely don't believe anything will ever come of it

And the fact is that these fans would react the same way if their idol dated opposite or sex---because shipping them with the same sex is their way of essentially shipping them with nobody (if that makes sense)

Now obviously, I 'ship' Tàekook or I wouldn't be here but it's the fact that Hybe not only haven't exploited their biggest ship for fan engagement and fan interaction but seem to have gone to lengths to cover it that makes me more suspicious as to the reality of it.

But ultimately, homophobics shipping their m/m faves is really just them trying to exert whatever control they can while also holding a belief that they'll never have to face the reality of their ship coming to life.

Hi Korean-American anon!

So good to see you around! As always thanks for your input!

You're responding to this ask:

One of the reason's why I always found the explanation of less Taekook focus from BH being because Tae and Jk weren't close anymore such nonsense, is because it makes no sense from a business perspective. BH could literally make them do content together because people enjoyed it so much. Taekook is the biggest ship, has been for years.. and yet they make none to little use of it.

I've read people (the other side) say Tae and Jk are less interesting to watch... freaking bs.. which is basically proven by AYS where all Jm and Jk do is just eat and talk about how much they love to eat. Tae and Jk are also hilarious, cute, and comforting together. I grant everyone that an AYS from Jk and Tae would gather the same attention as AYS from Jk and Jm.

[fanonical]

I see your point about June (and June is my favorite too). And I've definitely seen people headcanoning trans boy John out of really blatant spite, and complaining about June in a way that felt extremely pointed, like her mere existence is an insult and a source of hurt.

Buuuut on the other hand, many people loved transfem Roxy for a long time before the Epilogues, and I think it's fine and fair for them (... okay, us) to feel fleetingly disappointed that Roxy is transmasc in the Epilogues. I also think it's fine and fair to continue headcanoning Roxy as transfem, because the Epilogues were very explicitly in-text framed as one possible continuation out of many. I won't lie, I just love that t4t f/f Roxygen.

So my line of thinking is, it's probably still fine and fair to also love trans guy John, if people are inclined that way. It's more about the way that they do it? If you're finding yourself framing June as some kind of invasion on your holy safe space by the mean and terrible new writers of Homestuck, you need to take a step back and reexamine the transmisogynist bias there, and most importantly you need to stop being so goddamn rude to the people making art that just isn't for you. But on the other hand, I think simply ignoring the Epilogues and doing your own thing with trans boy John and his shaving cream trauma, that to me is perfectly in line with - and in fact respectful of - the spirit of the Epilogues.

(Similarly, I don't think it'd be bad to do a reading of the TUA comics where Vanya is a trans girl; I don't even think it'd be bad to write an AU genderswap of the TUA show universe where Viktor is a trans girl, though I'd greatly prefer if other characters' gender was changed too in that case.) (For example, I'd enjoy a full swap where A and V Hargreeves were the only "boys" growing up, and then V transitions and A is left all alone with his masculinity and he lets it steep into resentment. Also, sometimes you want trans girls with violins blowing up the world.)

Right, I hear what you’re saying but I think there’s a couple of key differences here

First of all, we know for a fact that Roxy being transmasc was prompted by a transmasc writer who was repeatedly & horribly transmisogynistic about transfem headcanons, so I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to assume that he really did specifically hate transfem Roxy headcanons out of spite so much that he made it an impossible reading in both timelines. But even then — I do think that if somebody specifically just decided Roxy is transfem and everything else from the Epilogues is the same (or magically headcanoned away as making sense somehow) then they would be intentionally misunderstanding & rejecting the text too. Like, that’s ok, that’s literally what a large part of fandom is, but the reasons for doing this are not neutral, and they reflect hegemonies & wider values.

In the case of transfem Roxy the point is to pointedly reject something we think is transmisogynistic — we have been teased with transfem Roxy for years, it’s an obvious & clear reading of her relationship to Callie in Act 6, and so I think it’s a legitimate criticism of the Epilogues. Meanwhile, there straight has not been years of hints for transmasc John, in fact, to headcanon June as transmasc you have to pointedly ignore her already extant queer narrative.

I also think you either misunderstand or are intentionally misunderstanding how alternate realities work in The Homestuck Epilogues & Homestuck Beyond Canon. They are not just one continuation out of many — there is only the two as far as I’m aware. I’m not up to date with HSBC but it’s my understanding that reality was cleft in two.

i agree with you on the Umbrella Academy! because this is something that has been like rebooted to switch things up, those characters are gonna get remixed. i’d love to see a transfem Vanya somewhere down the line. but if i only blogged about the tv show and i was constantly & loudly explaining how i prefer transfem Vanya and how she should be transfem in the show then I think that would obviously be in poor taste.

i think what bothers me is the boldness of so many men to be like “idk i just prefer this as a man character” right in the replies of posts where transfems are gushing about/sharing their transfem headcanons. I can’t even talk about June being trans without a few people saying that, and that’s actually confirmed as 100% happening, so it’s even more impossible to escape with like transfem Link headcanons etc.

i think all in all, transmascs, trans boys & trans men should try and leave more space for their sisters in the community. it is not subversive to wish every character was a man. just misogynistic. leave room for transfems, trans girls & trans women in fandom and beyond, folks.

[hellwrites]

Warnings: dubcon, revenge porn, language

Setting between TFA & TLJ - Finn is awake and Rey came back after finding Luke. Everyone is at the new Rebel Base at a pretty boring strategy meeting, when everyone's holopads start pinging with an anonymous video drop.

Someone presses play, and the room is filled with the unmistakable sounds of sex. The holo shows Poe, bent over some flat surface. An offscreen partner - clearly male - is uttering oddly aggressive words. He's talking about how Poe is some bigshot to everyone else, but he knows the pilot is just a slut who needs to be put in his place.

Everyone looks to Poe, who shrinks into his seat, as the disembodied partner does something that makes holo-Poe groan in what could have been pleasure or pain. The voice continues to growl about how he and Poe had a good thing going. He was the only person who could give Poe what he really needs, so why was Poe wasting so much time with that Traitor who would never really see him?

Even if you somehow got him into bed; you really think he could love you? Pathetic.... Damaged...

"Enough!" Leia's voice rang out through the room, and the holo was shut off immediately.

Everyone was silent. Attention split between trying to look at Poe and paying attention to Leia, who was very clearly furious.

"Who did this?"

A small wave of chatter rose up and died, before Rey stood up - head cocked to the side as if trying to hear something.

"Rey?" Leia asked. Luke wasn't around, but she recognised the sight of someone channeling the force.

"Him," Rey pointed at a man far at the back of the room. "His guilt is so loud and... Anger. Pride." Rey shook her head as if shrugging off the man's emotions.

The people around the culprit had already moved to stop him running away, and with a wave of her hand, Leia had him brought to stand in front of her.

"Distribution of personal data without express permission is a crime," she was speaking to the man, but her voice carried. "You may have wanted to humiliate Dameron, but I hope it was worth it. You are hereby stripped of all rank, your network privileges are revoked, and you will be confined to quarters until further notice." A single nod of Leia's head was enough to have him pulled away by the security that had gathered.

Leia dismissed everyone shortly after. Poe remained behind. He'd been quiet since it happened. Everyone was gone when Finn stepped into Poe's line of sight.

Poe looked up carefully. He didn't want to see what anyone thought of him right now, least of all Finn.

"ex-boyfriend?" Finn asked, clearly trying to keep things light. Poe laughed - the sound hollow. Finn sighed and sat next to Poe, their knees touching. It took a moment of silence before he spoke again.

"so, um... on that recording..."

"You can just ask," Poe was resigned, expecting Finn to be disgusted.

"Do you... Um... Do you, like it? Like... that?" Finn was stuttering and gesturing, and Poe couldn't help the soft smile.

"I like it slow," Poe admitted carefully. "Configuration..." he waved his hand, hoping Finn was worldly enough to understand his meaning. "That doesn't matter to me so much."

"But he..." Finn's expression darkened as he put the pieces together. "He hurt you. You didn't want that."

"We were... It was break-up sex. He realised after everything on the Finalizer, that I was interested... I mean, we'd been kind of shaky for a while, but..." Poe sighed heavy. The more he tried to explain the more tied up he felt inside. "When I met you, things changed."

Finn's eyes widened, Poe's own sad and a little pleading.

"You... and me?"

"Doesn't have to be."

"I want it, but..." Finn took a deep breath. "We weren't allowed, in The Order, we had sex but it wasn't allowed. No emotions. No attachments. I can't... I don't want it to be like that with you."

Poe's cocky little smile returned and it made Finn's insides settle.

"Don't you worry, pal. When it comes to you, I'm all emotions and attachments."

"And I can do slow," Finn smiled in return, letting his fingers brush against Poe's.

That's it. That's all I've got. Nothing more to see here, move along. Love you, bye.

[bunnyboy-juice]

NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???

[ghastlyaffairs]

for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of

also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut

the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)

[triglycercule]

horror being very specific with table manners and he berates people (dust and killer) for eating like fucking pigs

i think it'd be morbidly funny that because there was no food in horrortale but the cutlery and stuff was all there that maybe he would pretend to eat with no food on the plate. it was in a satirical way that he would joke maybe around horror paps or alone where he would pretend to eat and have really good table manners but then the satire joke became REAL and now horror is incredibly specific about how to eat food

you MUST hold the fork in the left and knife in right says horror. no killer you can't duel wield the fucking knives this is a table not a slaughterhouse. dust pick up your elbows off the table. actually how about you get your entire upper body off the table tf why are you SLEEPING ON THE FOOD??? killer's sitting fetal position in the chair because of course he wouldn't sit normally like the idiot he is. dust is forced to put his hood down and reveal his face no more mysterious shadow style because it puts horror at ease. they cannot have a single peaceful meal because once they get past the table manners phase it then becomes a completion to see who can eat the least (because they suck at everything including eating)

[hanzajesthanza]

also i realize i'm saying all these noble and beautiful things about the channel from the purest depths of my heart. but actually i'm also just doing this because i fucking love the witcher books and it pisses me off that people don't know about them that much in english and i can only go for so long (seven years) with people not knowing that there are books. or that the witcher is from the 90s. or polish.

[blujayonthewing]

pitched battle inside my brain between the part of me that's desperately shaking myself by the shoulders going "YOU HAVE GOT TO ACTUALLY LIVE THE KIND OF LIFE YOU IMAGINE INSTEAD OF JUST SITTING AROUND IMAGINING IT UNTIL YOU DIE!!" and the part of me that's clutching my face going "is this allowed? is this allowed?? is this allowed???"

[crystalleoi]

5C

[icewindandboringhorror]

There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

[varjopeura]

.

[thedreadvampy]

The thing is I am definitely not happy or chill in the Immediate Sense lately but I am, big picture, so fucking happy with the person I am.

It's like. My brain was made by and for consistent trauma and since that trauma stopped about 5-7 years ago, it is incredible what the amount of resilience and cleverness and flexibility and thoughtfulness I developed to survive can do when it's not being all spent on surviving. like I had a hundred ton weight on me so I had to get REALLY STRONG to stay in the same place and not get 100% crushed, and when that weight came off I found I can use the strength it used to take to stand up and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

I was talking to my mum the other day and she said, "you've got the 'fuck it' energy at 30 that most women don't find until their fifties at least" and I'm like yeah man. Imagine how unstoppable I'll be in 20 years.

[wayfinderships]

I'll be so doomed the day I ever get a girl f/o