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sowthetide · 7 months

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GREETINGS AND SALUTATIONS this is teainabowl AND IM BACK WITH MORE NONSENSE AS PROMISED. family crisis almost averted?? i havent slept in 2 days but lmao who cares. (you cant see me rn but i want you to know that im doing a happy little jump skip dance as im writing this)

BECAUSE!!!!! ok. lets talk about genderbending in fandom. i think what usually gives me the ick in those fics is they do nature vs nurture wrong??? like a lot of the time they’ll just change the NATURE of the character and use the different gender as an excuse which. idk idk it runs me the wrong way. BUT QUENN!!! shes very much still theon?? just, nurtured differently. am i making sense? i have been traumatized by some bio-essentialism bs in the past when trying to look into similar fics bc i love gender fuckery PEOPLE JUST DONT GET IT LIKE I DO (or you, appearantly hkdhhfjh i love your story it means so much to me)

and asoiaf is SUCH a gendered world??? like it has so much untapped potential where even a single characters gender can have SO MUCH IMPACT (can you imagine if joffrey had been a girl?? or if sansa had been a boy???)

but what originally started my spiel was the realization that jon wouldnt have gone to the nights watch if he was a girl. and. what then?? slightly horrifying tbh, and makes me wonder if one of the other character had been male (read; they had been given more agency and autonomy in their lives) what would have changed???

but back to jon, bc then i immediately thought, ok, lets backtrack a bit, who would jon even BE. bc a lot of jons character revolves around his (lack of) a relationship with catelyn, his siblings mother. but she would have a harder time avoiding him if he was a she, right?? am i making sense???? a girl isnt seen like as much of a threat to her children i thinks?? idk i love cat and jon so much a love picking apart their relationship bc bc bc ARGHhhgg yk? also i like to think of ned being haunted by lyannas carbon copy who happens to be great with swords (would he be permitted to practice swordplay??) idk

ANYWAYS no we come to the part where i tie it up to what you mentioned in your answer. bc as much as JON being a girl might change his relationship with cat, it would be much more fucked up if it were robb, me thinks. (i too am a bit guilty of using robb as an accessory to cat) but but but. are. are you seeing my vision. catelyn stark with her three daughters when ned leaves for the greyjoy rebellion. catelyn whos convinced that the reason her husband wont send his bastard away is because she cant give him any sons. in the books she calls bran her special little boy and. idk the double meaning this would give it. and bran!!! being the heir!!! hiw would that change things??? would the reception to his accident be different?? and speaking of, what about king robert and his obsession with joining his family with neds? i havent talked about how robb (robyn?) would be different in this au but i cant think hed be as pleased as sansa was? his first shown interaction with joff is him trying to curb stomp the fucker lmao. i dont think he would be likely to have a different opinion bc of gender changes. in the books hes often rash and impulsive and prideful, and id want him to keep those traits, but peoples reactions to them would be different?? and so he would shape them in different ways??? am i making sense i feel like im just rambling. this is getting way too long and wayy to incoherent i need to stop. ok bye for now ill be back (threatening)

GO TO BED!!!! GET SOME SLEEP!!!!! But yay! to family crisis averted? Maybe?

Okay. I'm gonna indulge in some haterism for a second cause I've actually poked around the ASOIAF genderbending tag quite a bit. Unfortunately, a lot of those fics? Lame as hell. There's a preponderance of genderbent Jon Snow, which I think is totally cool! Very interesting genderbend to explore because of how much it changes the trajectory of his story. But then the character isn't really written as Jon at all? Maybe I'm just picky about characterization, but oftentimes fem!Jon just becomes this cookie-cutter "strong/feisty" female protag and it's like...

Sorry. I'm being mean. Obviously, there is no singular "correct" take on a given character, as we're all influenced by our own experiences and perceptions. My take on Theon isn't the exact same as yours, or goddcoward's, or Ashen's, or GRRM's. A unique Theon exists in all our heads, each one a bit different from the others.

But! Genderbends are so much more fun when you can see the underpinnings of the character you know, and there are moments where those aspects really shine through. And it's like OH!!! (pointing vigorously) THERE THEY ARE!!!! Otherwise, why not just write an OC, or adopt a minor character with very little canon characterization? (Admittedly, this can become a problem when you start collecting minor characters like Pokemon cards. I am my own evidence of this phenomenon.) If it ain't Jon, then why have it be Jon at all, y'know?

ngl female Joffrey has been rattling around in my brain lately... 👀fem!Joffrey would definitely be betrothed to Robb, which would be a complete and utter shitshow (appreciative/affectionate). Joffrey as a true mini-Cersei has such insane juice to it as a story idea, especially considering that Joffrey never liked Cersei all that much lol... the mother-daughter dynamic would be BONKERS.

Back to Jon though:

First, you're definitely right that fem!Jon wouldn't be seen as much of a threat to her siblings as Jon was. She would probably be married off pretty quickly once she came of age, as high as possible for a woman who was bastard-born. I don't see Catelyn liking her per se, but Catelyn wouldn't have the same misgivings about her as she did about Jon. Since fem!Jon probably wouldn't become the vessel of the wildling/Others plot, she might have an interesting role to play if she went south... to marry Robert's royal bastard Edric Storm, perhaps? I could see Robert "having his Lyanna" by marrying fem!Jon and Edric. But then shit hits the fan with the usual plot of AGOT, and maybe fem!Jon gets taken hostage by the Lannisters in King's Landing? Or gets caught in Renly's shit since she was with Edric at Storm's End? I am NAWTTTT talking myself into writing another fic. Go to hell. I need to finish Sow the Tide first.

fem!Robb (Robyn between myself and goddcoward) is even crazier. Catelyn would NOT be fucking happy to have Ned's spitting image hanging around Winterfell, while all her sons are under 10 and have the Tully look. I could see Catelyn successfully arguing that Jon should be fostered out, perhaps in the Vale (as a favor on the part of Jon Arryn)? Like, oh, Ned, you and Robert became such good friends fostering together in the Vale... that way, Jon is waythefuckoverthere and can't make any allies in the north.

I'd love for Robyn to have some of the same anger and pride, and she'd probably be similar to Catelyn in that she was raised as the heir for a good bit of time before the "real" heir came along years later (Bran+Edmure). Also, Catelyn would absolutely NOT trust Theon around Robyn. Not At All. Kinda fair though? Robyn would also be older than Sansa was in AGOT, so I think she'd be at least a little bit more worldly and pick up on Joffrey's... Joffreyness. Robb/Robyn are still dutiful characters, but I think there would be a lot more immediate friction between her and her betrothed. Double genderbend Throbb is my true love, however (Quobyn my beloved).

I've gotta finally go work on chapter 40 now, so I can't answer everything, but do come back... I'll be here... revolving all of these genderbends around in my head...

#ask #gotta get up at 7am tomorrow. hate and hell on planet earth #opening my chapter 40 doc like babe it's 9pm time for your nightly dick flattening

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love-at-first-bite · 2 years

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uhhhhhh hiiiiiiiiii~ :3

i love being tipsy and thinking about my husband:) i love adachi so much and he loves me so much! we're really the perfect couple. we've been through so much and yet still found each other and fell in love snd found meaning in the other♥ yes we're doomed fromth e start but our love was realy and wonderful and strong despite everything.

he's so cuuuuute♥ too~ i love his hiw sweet face and cute nose and his strong hands and big ole forehead just made for me ot kiss. he's a darling and so handsome and cute. adachi' so funny he knows just how to cheer me up on a bad day. he makes me smile and geel happy and safe and lovedd.

our one year is not month tho i cound our shared bithday as the real start of our relationship. we share a birthday day if that's not fate i dont know what it <3 he means os much to me he came ot me so suddenly and became this important to me. even right now im all gigglely about him he really got me and im happy he did. i wanna kiss him and hug him and cook for him and make him happy please he deserves iti never thought he;d make me this happy i thought maybe me crush on him would leave be just a temp thing and now here we are i cant go even a day without thinking of him i own 3 keychains of him already that's like the most merch i own of any character i like

i actully wanna comm artof us together the last i time i wanted that was with Artemy and Toki way back. he's making me feel like the way my two first main f/os made me feel the two reasons i made this blog in the first place. i love adachi so much im his husband his best friend his darling his angel his sweet bunny

#victor beeps #okay when i started this iwas tipsy maybe im more now :3

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hellomeowme · 6 months

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First day of penning my thoughts down

i am caught between wantingto express myself as honestly as pssible and being as eloqueny as pssoble - maybe those two cannot coexist on any plane of paper or platform i put my words down on.

ive been oscillating between wanying read more and trying tonwrite again. Here i am rambling on about the process instead of actually pouring my heart out rn. Im at R’s place rn, after i had a cry sesh about hiw lonely i am (you could fashion a calender out of how rhythmically i suffer from these spells of melancholia- funny because her casually (and causally) mentioning that she rode in some guys convertible in the morning was what caused me to spiral in the first. I want to say im not jealous, that i jus want what she has would be a lie because i distinctively remember thinking why does she have everything and i cant have this one thing that i writhe around filled with longing so often that ive discovered talking about it is futile - only breeds the particular brand of pathetiqué i feel like ive perfected over the last 3 years that have caused me to conclude my love life (or the dearth of the same) is hopeless. Maybe it would be true to say i am not envious of her though; now im thinking of I and whether i should send this to her because i want her to judge my writing (though i think i write better anyway) but i feel it will cause dishonesty to creep into this attempt to bare my soul to starngers on the internet. Also because me and R just talked about she is so wishy washy about studies and how it can be so frustating to talk to her. Also thought about K while writing this because we made this acc together, and maybe also due to the fact i talked about her with A recently. Im meeting C tomm and i dont want my frnds to see him cuz hes ugly and they know i dated him and i feel like a terrible person beacuse i told him to wear a mask for his safety wo revealing the real reason - my vanity. Im putting my hope into bumble for the umpteenth time and was constantly checking it as if thats gonna make anything change (j did say that im paralysed bw wanting a partner and not doin anything about it maybe that’s why im planning to use it more often). Ill check it tomm; i really need to write my journal- babye!

#language #Anguish #loneliness #hell is a teenage girl

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nicodaws · 3 years

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#u ever just . u ever just .#ahahhaha ok im gna vent a sec ignorw this also #tw self harm #tw suicidal ideation #im like fine tho so dw #just like haha #did relapse for the first time in like . idk nearlt a year ? and its just like #ok wtvr idrc coz idrc abt myself also i stopped treating my sh seriously like a while ago but like #how long is this shit gna follow me yk?#like its got better and worse n better n worse CONSTANTLY since i was fuckin 10 + like ! i dont think im evr escaping this cycle !#i cant actually see a future where i *dont* have this not coz i dont want it or i dont think its possible for years or wtvr i just kno that #ill always fall back here n into this shitty thought process #its not like this is the most sad ive been recently its just ?#idk #god #i want 2 die i seriously do not know hiw i can live like this !!!!!#i fr think i am fucjin unfixable at this point !! what is the point !! i will always b mediocre + struggling + hopeless !!#it has been 2 long 2 believe any different yk !!#and ik ! ik ! this is hopeless bs rhat will seem overdramatic in the morning but god if i do not feel hopeless !!#anyway . el oh el im ok + safe + going to sleep if u read this sorry <3 #dont rb #delete laterprobs idk

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zhuhongs · 3 years

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okay i need to stop thinking abt race and identity. its 12:30 am. i need to sleep

#i was legit just ceying comparing my picture against my grandparents i never met. do i carry any part of you? pls say yes #apparently i favor my dads side. i realize. i dont even know what my paternal grandfather looks like. ik a lot abt him. mr kenneth was a #short. bitter. MEAN old indian man with perhaps 20 kids and was a horrible drunkard and died at like 40 or smth #i want to know his face. i never met him but the things he did almost 50 years ago affect me to this very day. generational trauma is just #rlly si?? idk hiw to describe it. everyone says i look like my aunt (my dads sister) when she was younger. and she looked like her dad. and #i want to know. whose face do i carry. bc i certainly dont look like that woman niw. also she's. a bad person. ironcailly shes a politician #also shes banned from entering mexico. insane right?#shes a conservative tho. and yea. very. well im glad i havent seen her since i was like 9. bc Ohhh Boyyyyy #🐌.txt #but god have i had some thoughts abt race and identity and how ive learned how. uncommon it is for ppl to do what i did and like. entirely #forsake their identity. ik what my brother and i did was bc of our trauma and my abusive family but like... ppl dont do what we did #and it becomes more obvious to me each day. am i rlly allowed to be this way? am i running from smth i can never fully realize. idk. idk #i want to say its fine. everyone else seems to think its fine but deep down i feel like everyone thinks its odd. perhaps wrong of me. idk.#i should sleep #gn. i love u all

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gwasgy · 4 years

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Do you ever find quotes that get you so well that you have to sit down and reexamine your life through the lenses of it and what that really means

#in adventure time in the pillow universe dream world episode #where finn is having doubts about flame princess or they just broke up?#and jake is like ''stop it. what youre doing is stupid and doesnt make any sense''#and he gets this cup and hes like ''you see this cup? this is literally my favorite cup.'' and then he throws it out the window #and he says ''it was my favorite cup- but now its gone- so it doesnt exist and i dont care about it anymore''#and i dont think youre supposed to view this as good advice or something you should relate to #especially because jake goes and fetched his mug anyways later #but its so exactly how i feel and think about stuff #i dont really know how to describe it i guess #not in a way that doesnt make me sound like i have empathy problems or something #but then some tiktok talked about the something-loss fallacy or whatever its called #about how it doesnt actually make logical sense to continue something just because of hiw long its been happening.#like youre thinking about breaking up but youve already been together for like a year and the amount of time you put in #feels like it adds value to the relationship #but it doesnt!! it either makes you happy or it doesnt- and how long its been doesnt actually affect that #its the problem with snapchat streaks you know #i had this friend in high school and we did streaks and didnt break them i dont think at all??#and it got up to like 400 and usually i see friends posting about streakaversiaries and whatnot #but 400 rolled around and it didnt frel special. we had kinda stopped being friends by then #and another friend of mine had a really bad falling out with her then best friend and they only tried to fix it because of theur streak #basically? like they kept in contact even though theyd had a falling out bc of the streak. but then more lies were uncovered and it was #kinda Betrayal Part Two and Em then decided to not do streaks anymore with anyone #you know? effectively taking away a symbolic value to the length of past relations and what it means for the value of friendshio NOW #hmmmmmmmmmmmm i dont know #my posts #delete later #✌✌ idk if i will delete this later but just in case yknow #anyways that adventure time scene will probably haunt me forever

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royalwriteroftheuniverse · 2 years

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Nightmare part 2 (Part one here)

Dont repost anywhere online or print reblog snd feedbacks are welcome.

Warningw are angst a whole lotta angst steve thinking the reader(female wanted to hurt herself she doesnt) Steve being a Shmuck and thick headed. Steve completely missing the points.. so hes basically acting like a man lol

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"It wasn't that," I paused. Trying to figure out how to expain this to Sam in this "counciling session" on an empty flior witj two odly shapped red couches, modern isn't word maybe avant gauard. They face eachother and almost come to a point at one end which is why or how rather Sam and he4 were so close together I know steves job. I qlways knew it and it wasn't that. I wouldn't have even dated him if that was an issue. I mean it's sorta like being a cop but he comes back to me dirty and bloody its not even the dirt. Its the blood. Like ," I paused and its his blood. Its not like he says its not my blood. He just i hate seeing him covered in blood walking around like it's....paint from working at a preschool with kids. And the way he treats me. I felt like he more or less pushed valium on me. I mean i know if I had said no he would've gone ok but then listed why I shud take it Nd hiw itll help make me feel better. Like I just give in not wanting the conversation because its not the conversation I want to have with him even this he just told you he didn't talk to me first rhat you should talk to sam hes a counselor or talk to someone like he thought I was going to kill myself and this is hw he handles it. Know I know why he goes through girlfriends. Man doesn't freaking talk." Sam just kinda stared at me listening and nodding. "God I'm sorry Sam," I dropped my shoulder and put my head in my hands. "I know you and Steve are best friends and I dont mean to talk about your best friends like that it's just frustrating. I feel like we're playing a game of freaking telephone i say something he tell you then you tell me theen I tell tou and you'll tell him and then hell talk to me i mean it's just." I was getting frustratingly upset.... if that's even a word. "Hold up. First I'm not going to tell Steve shit. As far as I'm concerned this session is between you qnd me. You could tell me you killed someone and I'd say nothing ok. And secondly. You're right. Steve should have talked to you. And he never shohld pressure you to take meds. The dude's intense. If you feel like you need to give in to him or else. It's not healthy. Look I love Steve like you said he's my best friend and as much as I... your relationship isn't just about him. It's about you too. And if you can't handle it you can't no one will blame you or fault you. Especially Steve.

"Sam you dont get it. He." I swollow "I mean we're living togeather. I thought it was fast. But I'd felt so happy around him and I thought I wanted that all the time but it's it's not like that." "Did you tell him how you feel?" "Oh yea sam that make sense. How many hydra ya kill save any hotigaes by the way btween you relaxing for 12 hours mission deprefeffibg and then the next brief and sleeping and eating cause you you leave again in two days need to tell you you gotta talk to me diffrent. Bye have fun.' When do I talk to him?"

"You need to look I know Steve he doesn't want yiu to be unhaply. He's doing what he thinks is good for you. But if its not you need to tell him."

"How. Can he join us? Like here come to one?" Sam sat up to tell her no. "Well I-" "Friday where is Steve?" "Captain Rogers is in the gym." "Can you have him come up to meet me and Sam?"

Sam watched as Steve entered the room and she started to shrink a bit. Her shoulders dripped a little she curled up a bit. Even after Steve gave her a kiss. Before sitting on the couch across from Sam. "What the hell is going on here?" He thought watching the strong girl who insisted Steve come dissapeared. "How's it going? How do you feel babe?" While Steve had his hand on her leg and looked at her briefly he immediately looked at Sam. She watched the scene. Sam gestured to her She looked at Sam, who only provided two words- “Go on" "Steve, wa-" she took a deep breath looking at the floor. "Why didn't you talk to me and go right to Sam?" "Well you said-" "I’m not suicidal. I was talking about us. I-" she paused and sighed, "I dont think I can do," she took a breath "us anymore. You didn't even think to talk to me? And you just." She looked at Steve and he was just taking in the information. And trying not to show how hurt he is. Another girlfriend leaving. "Steve you, you just. I felt like you forced the valium on me and didnt give me a chance to think. And everytime I say no it's an argument and its besides the fact that it woudir wouldnt help. I just felt like I had to give in. I had to take it. But this Steve?" She gestured. "This is beyond ridiculous. And you don't get it don't get how... isolating things can get either I everyone hates me the agents treat me like a, I dont know and, your teemates?" she finally turned and looked up at Steve and sighed, "I mea. Minus Sam I- Steve no on wants me here." She starts to tear up. "That's not true." "Steve you don't see it. "The other agents just stop talking when I'm around. Someone told me your other girlfriends got agents in trouble and on desk duty so they're scared me of me practically or mad I don't know all I know if I'm universally ignored... by everyone." Steve opened his mouth to say something but she continued, "And the rest of your "team mates"," she used air quotes, " the avengers. I see how they look at me. Tony side eying me, Nat is constantly sizing me up. I know Bruce is quiet anyway and Clints been nice but I haven't really seen him. Haven't met Thor so..." She leaned back and crossed her arms with a huff. "Well I-" Steve didnt know what to say. His eyes were blinking. The only thought that he had was- "So that's it its over?" She rolled her eyes, "That's what you took from the whloe thing is that we're over?"

She rolled her eyes, "That's what you took from the whle thing is that we're over?" "Well yes." His eyes were wide unable to understand why she didnt understand his concern was for her to be with her fuck the of the team, screw the other agents. He wanted her to stay. Her mouth dropped open in disbelief. And Sam could see she was getting angry and Steve was missing the points. "Ok lets take a breather. Steve she was saying that she feels alone not welcome which we can address with the team later,” Sam looked her way with an assuring nod. “But, did you hear what she said about what you did by comming to me?" "Yea that she meant it was us and not her." "So you 100% thought she was going to harm herself?" "Yes I -I mean she never..." "Never what Steve?" "Never said she was unhappy with us and when I heard her say she couldnt do it anymore I was scared terrified that I'd come back one day and find her on the floor. I've" Steve turned to her, took her hand which she allowed. He moved towards her and caressed her cheek. "I've lost so many people. I've lost so many soilders or have had them wounded and then now agents get hurt and we lost them sometimes, I lose them but I can't lose you. And the thought of you being scared snd unhappy to the point where youd end you was terrifing. Morr than anything. Friday wouldn't know if you took a razor or too many pills. And I'd walk in from a mission and find you gone id never be able to forgive myself. So the first thing I thought was to get you help and I know you and Sam do get along and he's my best friend. And I love you." "So you thought shouving a pill down my throat was ok?" "I know Valiums helps people and if yoh were sleeping you couldnt hurt yourself while I was at the briefing. "But Steve if you really thought It was that bad why didn't you talk to me?" "I didn't want to waste any time. Time is too precious to me." She "Then why are you never there?" She was raising her voice, "And You thought shoving a pill-" "Lets all just calm down," he turned to Steve, "Why didn't you ask her what she meant. And she said she feels like you are very, well what did you say?" "Distant at time. Forceful and you dont think about me. And you're always gone." Steve for once has no idea what to say. "You're overwheling Steve. It can be too much for me." "How am I overwhelming and always gone?"

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fanfictionsworld · 3 years

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Ight, so how would yanderes Sebastian, Ciel, Claude, Alois and William Spears (Separate) react to the reader being popular and some random dude comes up and tells them that she's way out of their league. Oh, and for more drama, you can make that someone one of reader's best friends 😂

Uhhhh this is interesting i am going to have so much fun harssing them in this 😏😏

1.William T. Spears

(I just had to use this he is tooo cuteee)

You were very popular at school and very body loved you.You were sweet kind and alwasy helpful to any how need it.

William like that very much about you.He aslo liked when you help him out with his stuff and give him good advice.

All was nice and well,but with you beaing popular upsets William.One time you guys were on the date and some just came up to you started talking comlitly ignoring the fact that you were on the date.

He will be complaning about human indisents and how rud it is.

But the final straw is when of your friends tell him that you are too good for him.Your firend has the biggest smirk on his face.To him William glare is sing he hit the nerve and he is soo happy.

William will feel bad about him self.He know that hes not that fun and he knows that.

He will honest with you and tell you the truth about how hes feeling.Just comfort him and tell h8m that you love him no matter what.

He will pay a visit to your friend later.

2. Claude Faustus

(Its Claudes time to shineee i LOVE YOUUU......i am normal thank you for asking🤤🤤)

His dear sweet y/n is a school athle.She runs on shor tracks.And your boyfined Claude came to support you but was not happy that he had to sit with people it gave him the ick.But for you he came.It bother him to the core that your male firend came to wist you.

You were a good runer,qnd ofc you won.You were the fastest out of everyone.Just as he was about to come up to you to say how good you were and to tell you will be doing something interseting 😏😏 later your firend called him and said ,,Hey tree with galasses on you dont desrve her just remember that."(Claude is very tall i think 191 cm).Claude just looked at him and sent him the deadliest glare qnd walked up to you.

He said hiw good you were and as he planed he said wahtnis the rewared for the hard work,but what he did not tell you is that he will be paying a littel visit to your rude friend.

3. Sebastian Michaelis

(Well you cant be alwasy first 😝.This gif suits the scenario.)

This man knows his worth and nothing could ever bother him.Not your constan interaction with people insted of him not even when your firends ask you about your advice at 3 8n the morining

Not at all fased.How is he to fell insecure about some other humans that you hang out with.

But the tihing take turn when you were at some gatering and your friends did not much like sebastian they came up to him and told him ,,You know you do not deserve her" he will just fake smile at them and walk up to you to tell you that you should go beacuse he wants to do some other stuff.You slap his had of and tell him to wait a bit longer qnd that now its not the right time.He will pout,and your friends will laugh at him for this.

After everything is over he will pay a visit to your friends for some talk.

#sebastian michaelis smut #sebastian michaelis x reader #yandere sebastian michaelis #black butler fanfiction #black butler fic #claude faustus #black butler x y/n #black butler smut #yandere black butler #claude faustus x reader #william t spears #william t spears x reader

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icecreamkink · 3 years

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watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD.

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo, lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass, shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is, the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’, “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it.

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out!

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha.

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying*

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE, and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof

and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. )

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :(((((((((

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf

wwx: fucking w demonic energy jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch??

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no.

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go.

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. . . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg . spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . .

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like ? ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also so thrilling (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say)

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris.

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng. being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance.

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all??? amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD.

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future

one of the ?? things i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE.

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???”

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn.

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding.

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever

BAT WEN NING

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock”

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face.

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself!

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe.

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities. *longest oh boi ever*

#m.#ANYWAY #ENOUGH TALKING #THIS IS SO LONG #LOL #but whatever this is MY performative journaling i do what i want #rambling impressions abt what i watch is a thing i do now? apparently??#cql #untamed #the untamed #fun fact that chat is named 'k keeps on babbling abt the untamed' and it STILL wasnt enough #also it took me 15 episodes to realize lwj was yibo #IT WAS V SHOCKING #i did not recognize him at a l l #but in retrospect he WAS the perfect choice

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witchcraft-in-wonderland · 4 years

Text

Serpents Fangs (Pt.3)

-------------------------

Roman read over the pages a few more times, trying to take in as much as possible. This seemed all to important for Janus to have just- let him find on accident. But rather than dwell on the why, he decided to focus on the what. Vampires, banshees, liches, all dead, all with very few weaknesses, but what did that have to do with he and his family?

Roman jumped slightly as he heard a knock at the door, placing the book back on the shelf.

"Roman? Are you alright? I'm sorry I scared you, I didnt mean it," Janus' voice echoed slightly.

"You didnt scare me, I'm not scared of anything," Roman said, crossing his arms.

Janus opened the door, one eyebrow raised, "Oh really?" He said, grinning and showing off long pointed fangs, Roman felt a shiver run down his spine.

"Yeah, not scared at all, lich," Roman said, smirking triumphantly.

"Tell me, Roman, are you laboring under the delusion that I was unaware one of my own bedrooms had books on my species?" Janus said, a playful glint in his yellow eyes.

Roman faltered "well- I uh- but you wouldn't- I-" he went quiet, Janus chuckled softly.

"Hiw much did you get through before I arrived hm?" Janus said, walking next to him.

"Vampires and banshees, I havent read to much about liches yet," Roman continued.

"Awe, you dont want to learn more about me?" Janus said, a slight purr to his voice. Roman felt his face flush slightly, only amplified by the slightly sinister laugh Janus gave him.

"Well maybe I would have if you hadnt barged in here and made me put it away," Roman muttered, arms crossed.

"I do believe you chose to put it up yourself dear princey," Janus said.

"Oh dont princey me you slimey snake-" Roman responded.

"Why not? Do you not like it?" Janus said, settling next to Roman on the bed. If Roman's face could have gotten any redder, it most certainly had.

"Not from you," Roman said, backing up- directly into a wall. Janus chuckles slightly, smiling slightly at him.

"That's fair I suppose, well, I wanted to let you know that theres food in the kitchen if you need it, I'll leave you alone for now," Janus said, getting up and walking out of the door.

Roman had a lot of opinions on the current state of his life, yet none of them seemed to make any amount of sense. First of all, he hated vampires and anything associated with him, yet he wasnt bothered as much by Janus, and honestly, he may have even liked those few moments of being around him.

"Hes using hypnosis on me- thats got to be it- I am not falling in love with a dead guy-" Roman said as he got up. He was, of course, starving, so he was obviously going to eat, or at least, take some food back to the room so he didnt have to be around Janus for to long.

Cant trick me if we're never in the same room! It's foolproof! Roman thought foolishly.

But then he reached what he assumed was the dining hall. There were rows upon rows of things he'd never tried before in his life, but gods they looked delicious.

Janus was sitting at the other end of the table, the cobra had it's own sort of seat, with its head resting on the table, eyes trained on Roman. Roman gulped slightly, trying to ignore it as he sat down.

"They dont bite, not unless I tell them to that is," Janus said, running a hand over the scales of the beast, which let out a low hiss that shook the table slightly.

"And how is that supposed to make me feel safer? How do i know you wont send them after me while I'm asleep?" Roman said, eyeing the food suspiciously.

"I suppose you'll just have to trust me," Janus said, smiling slightly.

"Well I dont trust you," Roman said, letting out a huff as he sunk back in the chair.

"Again, completely understandable, now you really should eat, I've seen the rations the villages are getting, it really is a shame I cant send anyone out to add something to them," Janus said sadly.

"Well what did you expect? You come to our kingdom and destroy our food supply but think we'd take anything in return? You're undead, and undead only want to make everyone else like them," Roman growled, gripping the handles of his chair.

Janus seemed slightly hurt by the words, and Roman wouldve been lying had he said he didnt regret the outburst.

"Well, I understand your thinking, but please, this dinner wasnt supposed to be hostile, I dont want you getting the wrong impression," Janus said, voice shaking slightly.

The dinner was quiet after that, Roman's head swimming and the lump in his throat growing larger as the time passed. He really hadnt meant to come off like that, he wasnt thinking, he was never thinking, he never should have come up here, it was a stupid decision to make.

He let out a heavy sigh of relief when the dinner was finally over and he could return to the guest room. He ran his hands down the spines of each book, sighing heavily as he read the covers. Rows upon rows of books on creatures of all sorts, and the history behind them.

"Well, I suppose it could be worse," Roman muttered, settling down on the bed and staring up at the ceiling. His head was swimming with thoughts of what would happen if he didnt get out, which only served to cause more distress. Then he heard a low hissing sound from the floor, he back up against the wall again as the cobra slithered into the room, raising their head slightly and tilting it to the side.

"Did he send you to kill me?." Roman said. The snake shook her head, resting it on the bed in front of Roman. Roman waited for a few seconds before holding out a shakey hand, the snake hissed contentedly as Roman ran a hand along their scales.

"Well at least I cant offend you," Roman said with a weak smile. The snake merely shifted they were laying partially on his chest.

"What? My heartbeat nice or something?" Roman said, but the snake seemed to have fallen asleep. Roman merely sighed, and decided to follow after.

----------------------------------------------

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ceeweej · 3 years

Text

YOU'LL EITHER GET IT OR YOU WON'T??????????

I HAVE ADHD AND I DIDNT KNOW IT UNTIL I WAS 24. OR 25. WHICH WAS ALSO THIS PAST YEAR (?) THAT I FIGURED IT OUT (?) (AND BRO I LITERALLY CANNOT PROCESS TIME AS OF MARCH 2020. LIKE IM COOL. IM WITH IT. BUT I DONT *FEEL* IT.)

IS THE REASON I'M SO /RELATABLE/ BECAUSE I SAY "Y'KNOW" A LOT?

THAT ALMOST SOUNDS LIKE A JOKE BUT IM RLY THINKING ABOUT IT BECASUSE ADDINBG "YKNOW" AFTER YOU SAY A THING WITH A CERTAIN INFLECTION CLUES THE PERSON YOURE TALKING TO INTO THE FACT THAT YOUR TONE WAS SIGNIFICANT

BTW SPEAKING OF TONE

IM NOT ACTUALLY SHOUTING. I JUST FEEL THE NEED TO TYPE IN CAPS RN. I THINK IT..... HELPS ME....? HOLY SHIT. I'VE NEVER MADE THAT CONNECTION BEFORE. IT TOOK ME LIKE. OK ITS PROBABLY BEEN 6 MONTHS OF KNOWING FOR SURE ABOUT ADHD (BUT STILL NOT *FOR SURE* FOR SURE BC LIKE I DIDNT GET A SPECIALIST EVALUATION BUT LIKE........... WE KNOW)

wERE ALL tjer FUICKING HOMESTUCK TROLLS SUPPOSED TO BE

NEURODIVERGENT. scratch that straight up every homestuck character is literally neurodivergent i will not be accepting any feedback or criticism on this point

god ansd like. listen this

im just. okay listen ig i;m not Masking my typing, let's sat. if i just keep all the tpypoos in my tpyiong there because thats hiw it ha[pens. Okay. Now I am gong Slow. I'm Wow. actually. going slow and typing right i can't. Think the same. Ialso instinctively backspace to fix typos more when going slow. ooooh..... wait. broi literlally. forgot that TYPING IS A SKILL!!!! just like! any other thing I do with my body! I was a little fucke dup internet gremlin as a child becAUSE!@! NECAUSE!!!!! I WAS BULLIED FOR BEING NEURODIVERGENT COUGH COIYGH AHEM COUGH ADSFDSHJNDFBC HFJGFKUYTLASF

omg dude like honestly thinkijg of posting this and someone reading it is acruallt so funny., is this art?> do you know what i am saying? I am not dont thing. ??????? hello? I am not doing this intentionally. I havent been able to shut my bra i n o f fffff let me go back to doing Research on..... ohhh hmy god. i mean this is how people DO IT. THIS IS WHY TUMBLR IS THE ONLY VALID PLATFORM. THE SHIT IS READABLWE!!! I CAN READ ALL OF WHAT IM TYPING AS I GO AND I CAN STREAM OF CONCHOIIUS. CONCHES. like the shell. its a pun. self conches. idk, thats what my brain says whenever i think Self Conscious. I think it's because I always mix up Conscious and Conscience. Do? Do you? YOU? I am genuinely asking like it;s gonna sound like maybe I am being weird internet Funny man. But listen, if you are reading this please tell me. I havent asked the question yet, here it is: Do you think about words in this way???? Am I literally insane! Like I make sense to em (me). Like I have to self edit every thing that comes out of my entire being. But god, doesn't everyone? Is the issue that I do it or that i'm aware of it? I'm questioning myself. i find myswlf! ASKING@!! WHYN CANT YOY JUST! DO IT! JUST DO IT FO ITY DO IT DO IT DOTI DTFHGFH

but i

i dont think i can?

and like

im...... like im fine with that. in fact i tjink it's cool and sexy of me to see things differently. i didnt say this at the start of this but i find it actuallly--

[ UJHHHHHH INSANE NOW THAST YA MENTION IT THAT I COULD WRITE AS MUCH AS I WANT ON A TUMBLR POST AND IOT JUST EXISTS LIKLE THAT. LIKE. IM SURE INSTAGRAM CAPRTIONS HAVE A CHARACTER LIMIT *EVENTUALLY?*** RI]

-- like something else i realized is. I dont think I haaaaave disassociative identity disorder. And i am fully aware that I could be overpathologizing. at present i have had *pretty severe* insomnia

i dont think much has changed ok yeah i really dont. know. im like "no, i've always felt this way. i'm normal. <3" whats disassociative identitity disorder?

i feel like it could be true that i have an Identity Disorder. i have had issues with mySelf and how i View myself and how other Perceive me and what others Think of me and. phewwww yknow???

one thing! too!

what IS mania???

that wasnt it that was something else

I DONT FEEL BAD I JUST FEEL DIFFERENT

---- ok so like this section right here is gonna be another homestuck thing:? --

god shut tf up

like it's meaning less i know it's nonsense. it's compulsive? Whatever its how im coping bc i cant fucking sleep and i hate not being able to fucking SLEEP BINGO THATS IT THERE IT IS I HAVE T R A U M A ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO SFALL THE FUCK ASLEEP

and UHHHH trauma thats mildly related to homestuck but in a way thats entirely shitty people who werent like a part of homestuck ""fandom"" per se treated me at the time i was Reading it and nothing to do with the actual comic itsef which is just forever Tainted. i had a big brain thought about epil. epidemic memory. im feeling scared? now bc i realize my mom does this exact same thing. i didn't use to. why scared? i Smoke Oui'd now and hmmmmmmHMMMM my mom made me scared of drugs. oh my god. my mom literally lied to me and i could tell but i came to the wrong conclusion? or. no i couldnt tell she was lyi

i COULD tell. I could tell that my mom, when she said that she expeimented with drugs to "see what they were like" like, she literally phrased it something like , "" i REMEMBER That. i (signaling me to me) REMEMBER (sticks out that what i (subject) (me) is doing is REMEMBERING something (use memory part of brain) (ok) (types note to myself to.... RUN THE PROCESS? BEFORE THE PROCESS STARTS? BC WOAAAHHHH BRAIN WORK. IS THAT. WHAT DOES IT SAY THAT I AM AWARE OF THAT? AM I MAKING ANY SENSE AT ALL?

this is so chaotic it's so funny to me. esp the more i focus and normally i would........ look away or dissOCIATE??? TO KEEP ZONING OUT???? AAAUUHGHHH AAAAAHHH PSYCHIC DAMAGE UNTO ME OOHHHH AAUOOWWIIEEE

but NOW im trying to be mindful and Expressive of literally how i feal with every goddamn keystroke that i have the ability to control. if u dont get it jsut move on babt there's a lot to it. mayb e iu'll reference something later that will make it make sense that's thje BEAUTY OF IT stay WITH ME on the JOURNEY i would chastise myself for Explaining it to you but god all i wamnt and strive for is to be Understood. and my system MAKES SENSE! If you let it make sense! See through the Etrrors. somer of them are because my hands are Really hurting and burning ooo aaaa but imtriyng to be mindful of it, becausde again, somrtimes i do this anyway and i just Dissociate and

wow. shit. ok. that was Hurting me. i took a break and did some stretches. could do more. should look into getting a good dication machine but. if i cant Type it i cant get my Meaning Across the same. yknow when john green margo? margot? fuck ow from uhhh

ok whatever not important i guess cabt be FUN with CARPAL TUNNEL

i have so many more thoughts but theyll have to Wait

goodnight

- its 6am!

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