#i dont rlly know what to expect
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thoughts on the new coil chapter? Sorry im losing my mind rn and have no one to bounce ideas off of
im not okay, the ending is actually terrifying, but it makes sense bcos dazai was trying to figure out how to use the basilisk from tom and he definitely doesnt actually want to kill pomfrey. i rlly thought that they were gonna use a spell to recover the letter so i was surprised w/ that. i rlly dont know what to expect next (other than dueling club, obviously) bcos i was sure that mori saying that dazai would kill poppy that he meant that he eventually would, not the next damn chapter. snape will probably be in charge of brewing the potion now but i cant imagine dazai actually doing anything to him, but being tasked to kill him might lead to smthn and snape might help him, but idrk, or he might not even be tasked to hurt him bcos pomfrey had to do w/ her knowing abt the mafia and they dont know if snape knows, but if he's trying to stop the potion from being brewed and snape possibly could know abt the mafia and dazai is in the mafia so it's not like killing ppl is the very very last resort, i think snape will atleast eventually be a target, maybe mcgonagall first, since pomfrey is gone then the month probably doesnt matter as much, if mcgonagall makes it clear that she knows of the mafia she will be next. idk tho
#i dont rlly know what to expect#we only have 9 chapters left i think#and idk if we're getting a year three#idk if allegory would want to write one but with only 9 chapters left in this one#and where the story feels like it is#i rlly hope there's a yr 3#but yeah#havent interacted w/ this fandom in awhile bcos it was better to keep my hyperfixation at bay while allegory took their break#and also bcos im kinda scared of going back to the discord#i was rlly surprised w/ these latest chapters tbh but i trust allegory#also blaise in the last chapter.he is truly the best person in this fic#ALSO HOW IS DAZAI WEARING THE COAT AND THE CLOAK.pls allegory im crying what does that look like how do i draw that#m&m#coil#m&m coil#magic and mystery#allegory_for_hatred
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I don't usually post sona related art, but I just beat the SMRPG remake and it made me just. start crying. Like i was just sobbing my way through the end of the game, and my hope for the future of Mario RPGs has never been brighter. So it made me just. Feel a lot of emotions and I didn't really know how else to capture them.
I'm very happy I got to live during a time when this wonderful game got a remake that will be more readily available for people to play. And I am so happy this game was just as good as I have been told it was. Definitely looking forward to replaying it again.
Uh. Yea. Jus kind of a personal piece I 'spose. Bonus little doodle I drew the day before the remake dropped under the cut
#germdraws#germ draws#goop#sona art#smrpg remake#mostly bc thats what this is talking about#i dont expect this to get notes this was just like. a personal piece about my emotional state today#not too often does a game quite drive me to the point of drawing my emotional state about it#I didnt. expect to cry like a baby over it#i knew id prolly cry. most mario rpgs do make me cry#but i havent cried this hard since i replayed origami king earlier this year#and that was probably bc it was like. the same week as finding out mario was getting a new va#and bc i was witnessing my favorite piece of media travel into a new era#and i am beyond excited#especially because the second major game to kick off said new era....is a game from 1996#a game ive been told about a lot in my life. every other mario rpg that was hyped to me never hit right. ttyd n bis both#i never finished ttyd. bis was rather tiring. maybe ill replay it one day. who knows#but smrpg was. rlly good. i rlly liked it. it made me very happy. i made me very emotional.
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@a-mag-a-day So-
As far as I know, there's no canon answer, and I don't actually know if there's a fanon consensus on this? Or if it's supposed to be obvious and I'm just missing something... I'd love to read any theories y'all have
#im inclined towards annabelle but like jon says. usually the web is a little clearer than this#doesn't mean its not them though#martin seems odd because he doesnt seem to expect Jon to follow him. But maybe he just wanted him to know what happened?#and is the person who placed this tape also responsible for the one in 158?#so many questions#a mag a day#lukas is extremely unlikely to me. i honestly dont think he gives a damn about gloating to jon about anything#elias is possible but also rlly comical to imagine him dropping the tape and then just booking it to the panopticon#tma#tma s4#polls#joos yaps
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funniest thing in my art class was presenting my sculpture and hearing the critiques while internally thinking like "um youre misgendering this object here by using he/him... you see it's actually based off of a shadow that uses she/they pronouns" like god i felt so stupid i couldnt say anyhting
#like what was i supposed to do. explain my oc lore to my class? no thanks LOL.#i dont think sil would be like. Against he/him pronouns but i think that insisting she's a guy for not being particularly feminine would#piss them off. and anyway idk it just rlly made me think about shallow perceptions of gender and how that relates to the art scene.#if that makes any sense. like how stereotypically feminine does an abstracted featureless androgynous figure have to present itself#for the pronouns/gender to not be assumed like that? it says a lot that we bring these notions of gender and slap them onto artist's work s#swiftly without a second thought. i wouldnt expect ppl to know but at the same time like... huh! idk! didnt really think about the idea of#like. sculptures needing pronouns listed?? i guess?? does anyone get what im saying here 😭 i feel like i dont have the right words#in my head rn like does this make any sense?? whateverrr just some thoughts i guess#anis gaymer moments#oc tag#<- i guess. since this whole thing is about sil after all lol. um would anyone like to ask me questions about sil that would be awesome
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im not like. upset, but im def a lil bit annoyed
#my classmates called my logo shitty and that it looked like it was made in mspaint and like. yeah it kinda does#and its funny i laughed but like i made that yk#they dont know *i* made it tho.. ik they wouldnt have said it otherwise which eh mixed feeling#still. i like it enough and its like. a school logo thats gonna go on the uniform so idk /what/ they expected it to look like#so eh🤷🤷 just a lil ticked but its rlly not as big of a deal as im making it
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im not rlly a plot guy but i am a big fan of old short stories that just throw things at you. final page is just a trainwreck refuses to elaborate leaves. i love it no notes
#^ got curious and listened to a reading of the monkeys paw#its not even the lack of plot in that its just the lack of resolution. which is the point but also fuckkkk#^ guy who rlly needs to read more short stories. i have a poe collection but also hough i dont think im a poe fan#like the poems and stuff ive heard of ill for sure get around to#(if only bcos the raven interests me and i feel like a bad nerd for not having read it)#but like. opening this collection with the gold bug was A Choice#i wasnt expecting it to Not b racist given what i know of rue morgue. but like. yiiiikes#according 2 my college lecturers he was big into like. Read It In One Go No Distractions Immerse Yourself#so as penance for being racist i put it down halfway thru that story like a week ago and have not gone back#(sidenote i feel like it was poe my lecturers talked abt but internet searches are utterly unfruitful. whatever)
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ruby gloom should have been my lesbian awakening as a 6 year old but no i had to think i was a gay transmasc before anything good could happen
(lighthearted post no hate to gays or transmascs or gay transmascs)
#in order to get to me you must defeat my six evil previous gender identities#i dont rlly expect many if any of my current mutuals to know what the hell im talking about btw#if you do i love you i am politely forcing you to binge (re)watch the entire show with me <3333#i love ruby gloom so much you guys have no idea#i was so normal about that as a kid i think that was probably my first media obsession#also i think ruby misery and iris would all be lesbians and maybe together#i like that idea#ruby you are better than skull boy do you hear me#ruby gloom
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GOT AN INTERVIEW WITH FISHERIES THING I APPLIED TO. IN LIBRARY CANT FREAK OUT
#I ALMOST FORGOT I APPLIED. HELLO#ITS WITH RESIGHINI RANCHERIA AND IF I GET IT I GET TO DO MY GRAD DEGREE AT CAL POLY#I DONT KNOW HOW PROFESSIONAL INTERVIEWS WORK OR WHAT THEY EXPECT BUT HELLO. YO#ALSO TIME ZONES ARE A THING SO WELL SEE WHAT EVEN THIS GOES. BUT BRO#god it starts in january tho. thats so soon. and like what if i get into other schools that i want more but then the time is all messed up#bcause the research here isnt as 1:1 what i want to do but it IS a rlly good opportunity. but like AUGHGHOUH#GIRL HELP. I DONT KNOW LETS SEE IF I GET IT FIRST. HOLA#I THINK THATS ALSO A LOT OF SPECIFIC INFORMATION FOR THE INTERNET BUT ITS FINE. ITS A BIG SCHOOL I THINK WHATRE U GONNA DO? TRACK ME?#IM NOT EVEN THERE YET
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aheem um. me and @tmuse-ac made sonic sonas :]
[id: a colored digital drawing of a sonic oc. he's a blue owl with a light blue face and a light blue tail-tip. he has blue eyes, tufts of feathers like "ears," and scruffy hair. she is wearing an open cream-colored flannel with brown and blue stripes, a black shirt with a blue greek omega symbol on it, white gloves, a dark blue digital watch, and brown boots. she is idly standing and slightly smiling, one hand up in a wave. end id]
#not to be confused with the gahoole soren sdfkjsdhfdslkjf#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#monotoneart#this drawing has a Secret and only me and petrix will ever know what it is#ANYWAY. maybe expect some actual sonic fanart soon cause turns out those guys are rlly fun to draw o_o#im making shadow be so fuggin fluffy#like an edgy lion. except he's a hedgehog.#also. i actually only own like half of the clothes sonic-soren-me is wearing here :(#i dont have the shirt or the boots. only that flannel and watch.#though. ig i do have a shirt kindaaa similar to that?? either way id kill to have that specific shirt.#im not counting the gloves that's just a sonic thing#um. explodes
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just realized i havent told half this friend group in non binary... its been like a year :) how has this not come up??????
#one of them is literally trans... this somehow is worst#it feels too late at this point to be like hey guys i know its been a year buuuuuuuuut-#like should i tell them? yes will i? eh#i dont feel comfy just being like hey guys this is my shit i need to sneak it into convos or it feels awkward#havent figured out how to do that yet#the main friend of the group who brought us together knows#but hes like really flighty about it and since i dont rlly care what pronouns ppl use#especially when my characters are all different genders#i just like almost never correct him on it lol#cause tbh he calls me by my characters name even during normal convos#like theres a 70% chance hell just call me eira or kai rather than my normal name#and since eira is my current character and is a girl.... i get a lot of she/hers in there#and since its vc only i dont ever expect anyone to call me he/him cause i sound like a squeeky toy#well at least not unprompted#actually ive only sonehow played like 1 boy character 😮💨 thats sad i need to collect that gender#and also to force them to use he him for me :3c#dnd is actually so good if youre trying on new genders tbh#think i might make my next cyberpunk character enby :) gender is a construct in this dystopia anyway
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:^(
#feelin like a big lonely loser tonight teehe ^__^#thought maybe i had plans but then not n everyone else i asked didnt answer or had plans w other ppl too#n i had suggested a plans with stef but she never rlly confirmed or denied but i figured not plus im kinda sick now too but#also called her just to be like hi n i miss u bc idk im SICK n i hate being sick n the way she sounded was weird AaagghGGHHHHH#n im just now realizing maybe she also ended up doing plans w other ppl#just feels like nobody likes me i GUESS which is dramatic but . aagggghhghgh#to be fair a bit of a 180 from i love u so much lemme say it 50 times last night to i call her n say ilu n shes like uhh ok haha#anD I FEEL LIKE EVERYONES GIVING ME RLLY SHORT ANSWERS N LIKE#but i dont know if i have the energy to give a lot of. energy. ?? to expect it back? but its like#an endless cycle of feel bad so less energy or want to bug less so then deserve less in return anyway so feel worse#its kinda feeling like isolation time which i havent done in a hot minute but i tried so hard to get out of it but like . for what yknow#i got to talk to some ppl some more n meet some ppl but at the end of the day i still feel alone n alien teehee#but maybe im just bejng dramatic bc sick. and rsd with the Tones and ppl having Plans With Others#like its perfectly reasonable to have forgotten or just idk had better options or maybe bc i didnt say anything sooner buT . IDK. 😔🥺#im sick n i hate being sick n i want someone to take care of me ugh#instead i just kinda sat here. played some OW. got mad at OW. ordered pizza to engage in basically food self harm LOL n watched some#of a show ive been meanjng to watch. jts neat so far. but yeah now i just feel like shit i guess#idk how to like. not be insane. or like. ask ppl for like. idk. reassurance or smthn or. share feelings. without feeling like i am.... bad#for doing so or itll end poorly or its excess or burdensome or unreasonable. bc it kkinda is unreasonable but idk not entirely ig yknow#and i really need to shower but i especially dont want to now that i ate food bc id rather die than look at myself naked but yea#YEAH. IDK. i feel. like shit. and garbage. and i can almost see this as being the turning point to me sabotaging my ownnpotential future#whatever ive been slowly building that i just. end up giving up now.#god i wanna call stef or pidge or someone n... ig not even talk abt this bc i dont wanna be a bother but. just hear ppl. u_u#feel like i am wanted in the world slepflsjhggbjwjr#It's My Blog I'll Use It As A Diary / Thought Organizing Thing If I Want To !!!!
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i’ve reached the war arc and i’m actually kinda terrified for this.. i genuinely dk what to expect. i’ve seen 1 spoiler for this and heard of one but idk how it goes down and other than that i rlly know nothing…… idek how long the war ark lasts like if its until the very end or if they have another kinda arc after this idek……. i’m shaking like a chihuahua rn………….
#also bc i hear VERY mixed reviews on whether ppl like the war ark or not#some ppl say they liked it/it was good#but other ppl i see saying they hate it and it was horrible to watch and shouldn’t have even rlly happened ????#lile i FULLY dont even know what to expect#nrtliveblog
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Something great about adulthood is that you literally never have to be around people who don't respect you ever again. If you're unhappy with your friend circle/family? you can just leave and you'll be that much better and healthier. Don't like yourself? you can make a new self. Google is free and your life is customizable. Don't like who you are? then don't be that person lmao. You can just change. Make those choices, decisions, and meds to get you there. no one's gonna do it for you n you can't help people who don't want to be helped, which includes yourself.
n I know a lot of this takes time and money, but you gotta start somewhere. even just having a plan of action helps. Knowing what you wanna work on and who you wana be/people you want to hang out with. That's where it's at. Literally just do it. "idk if i'm ready" then do it unready. I didn't know how to move out transition pay bills dye my hair register my car move in with my partner get a better job change my name literally anything to do with a courthouse change my credit shave my face until i just. Free balled it by my damn self. No family support no pity party. I'm not waiting around for people who say sorry 10 billion times but continue to not be better anymore. Don't make yourself palatable for other people, be free bitches ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹
#xcuse the rant. just been thinking about how much better i feel without the people in my life who were bad for me#thinking about the time i got in a fight w/ my (now) ex over thanksgiving#how i was expected to out myself to my ex's homophic transohobic bigoted family. and just be fine with it#“you have to be the bigger person“ ”It's lying to them to not tell them you were deadname and now you're Oli"#n i thought actually? i literally dont have to be around anyone who makes me unsafe bc thats the exact thing i escaped from my own family#dont like feeling like a showcase animal 'look at my trans boyfriend' so someone else can be visibly queer around me#dont like feeling like a problem that every1 else has to deal w/so poor old bigoted family wont die of heart attack bracing for my presence#made me feel like shit n i had to basically beg for an apology for over an hour bc i felt unheard hurt and unsupported.#n you know what i got told? “Thats not how it is youre wrong” after saying i feel unheard 7 times in a row. dont tell me how i feel#wanted to break up right then and there n my only regret is wanting to wait till the holidays were over#there is only so many “sorry i forgot” that i can forgive and i forgave way too many times. very convenient that things forgotten was never#once my exs identity feelings or safety#but when MY feelings MY identity MY safety and my CONSENT get forgotten about? nah man. im out of i forgive yous. it happened soo many time#i rlly dont have to be around people who dont treat me right. i dont exist to make other people better that is on YOU to be better#olive speaks
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idk im like. genuinely excited to travel by myself for a day man
#like. freedom#im not being like locked in my room or smth but i feel like i cant exit this weird routine thats been built for me in this house#when i travel ill get to choose everything i do without eyes and expectations#and even at my cousin's house. thats so much freedom compared to what i feel here#ive just felt like shit for weeks and i dont fucking know why#im so excited for a change in routine#7 days!!!!!!#and ill be gone for a WEEK AND A HALF#im so excited#this is stupid lmao im so excited to just walk around an airport by myself#my mom is gonna call with me like everyday and. i dont rlly want to#which is probably . a lil bad that i dont wanna talk to my parents at all this trip#oh well#someday im move to an entirely different country and i can decide how much contect i keep with them#god im so excited to get older
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first off, a hundred thousand thank yous for continuing to upload the eps.
second, i'm part way through the premiere and laughing so hard i can't breathe. you could not pay me to believe they planned this.
you're very welcome!!
and they 10000000% did not. that's just lying out of your ass to pretend they did like. there would have at least been a reference that made sense somewhere if this was a master plan backstory they were going with.
#easks#half of s1 is just carlos being like. maybe shes just dead michelle !#ur telling me thats what the plan was then. really.#maybe u can twist and turn all those things in ur mind to make sense now but it definitely still alters s1 LOL#which like. this show doesnt know how long its gonna last or who is gonna be able to come back so its not like its unheard of#i just find this particular thing silly enough to lose a bit of the waning interest i had#it sucks LKFJDSKL I WAnTED IT TO BE AnYTHInG ELSE I RLLY DID#I WAS OK WITH IRIS BEInG HERE in general like that actress is great#it just is bridging into soapy territory i dont think it was in before tbh#THATS On ME FOR EXPECTInG MORE OF THEM#but i also think u should be able to admit smth is inconsistent and not the best (read: bad) writing and planning#and still be able to enjoy it honestly. thats so much tv. i love bad tv.#i dont love this particular bad turn but imma stick it out those boys are still cute
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Reconsidering The Bra Issue bcos sometimes a sports bra might be nice but also like if I get one while I still live w my family my mams gonna take it as me accepting that I Need to wear bras as like a societal thing... maybe if I throw the transgenderism thing (which she doesnt know abt yet) and the autism thing at her at the same time, shell be so flabbergasted that she'll cave
#like id try 2 ease her into it going 'hey u know how its a known fact about me that i have to wear socks inside out bcos sensory issues.'#'do u know how tight bras are. do u think i could wear a fucking bra inside out. its not working'#and like some chest compression WOULD be nice on occassion both bcos trans and autism#but like im for sure not gonna get that from a normal bra which is what she expects fron me#argh my moms actuslly great n im sure that if i ever did talk to her abt it she would be fine and wed work out an alternative#but also like... confrontation scary....#im slowly revealing things abt myself 2 my mom bcos i dont wanna spook her and also therss a lot going on in here thatd be confusing#likr when i kept the pcos beard she asked 'is this bcos of trans issues' and i said no#firstly bcos i was like O_o trans issues....#and secondly bcos like. not rlly? like the gender from the beard is A+#but i also have it bcos it seems like unwarranted effort to shave it and i like stimming w it#and if i said yes then shed probs chalk up my rejection of feminine social norms as a trans thing. no bestie i just dont care#im well aware that im a bit of a hippy but we go#anyway whenever i get my eng mock back that might be a good time to come out#bcos she always likes reading my personal essays n short stories n shit bcos#'you dont tell me when youre having issues and this is p much the biggest glimpse into your psyche that i get' lol#and for the short story i wrote abt a bigender person in a way thats like. WAY obviously projecting. teehee#anyway
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