#i dont think ill ever pick the story back up again

[sohnric]

bad idea, right? – k. sunwoo

pairing: soundcloud rapper! sunwoo x gn! reader

genre: exes to lovers, angst, suggestive. i know this is toxic as fuck dont @ me sometimes i like to write shit like this because it's realistic...

word count: 4k

warnings: a whole lot of arguing, swearing, both of them being toxic and childish, a heated makeout session, overall just..messy. so messy.

a/n: similivinlife u inspired this. not my proudest moment but oh well 😵 the original of this draft was for the fic dancing in my backseat on @rrxnjun that i didnt end up using and revamped for this, so if u see any similarities it is because both fics are mine :P and once again, as always, thank u @csenke my sweetest beloved for beta reading 🤍

“I don’t think you can imagine the things I have to deal with about that track, like, I was literally in the town yesterday and around six people stopped me and wanted the backstory and I don’t know what, and it’s really, really annoying–”

Your voice cuts off, being replaced by a beat that makes acid taste on your tongue and hair stand up all alert, like a feral cat’s would when you try to get close to it, making you immediately turn off the song, letting a scream out into your pillow. There’s a storm of emotions inside of you as you take the phone you’ve been listening to the new song on back into your hand and pull up his number– because you blocked him everywhere else in hopes of never seeing his face again– and shoot him an angry text about the matter.

you [7:21pm]: are you kidding me???

you [7:21pm]: you are really so damn egoistical for doing this 

you [7:21pm]: really don’t think about anyone else except yourself huh

you [7:21pm]: ignore my messages again like the last time and i swear to god i’ll send someone to beat your ass

Fingers quicker than your own thoughts, you hammer down the messages on the keyboard, laced with the fury that’s been shaking with you ever since you learned that he released a new track that included yet another one of your voice messages you sent to him. It was excruciating to listen to, to say the least– your dignity stripped away slowly, piece by piece with the unsettling realization that your personal matters are now out there in the open, for everyone to see and judge, for the whole world to pick apart and analyze. Which is kind of funny, considering the nature of your breakup– you’re not so sure his fans would like what they would find out about him, had they dug deep enough.

Not saying that you are innocent in this matter, of course– you just don’t think it’s really fair to not have the platform to tell your side of the story.

don’t pick up [7:24pm]: feisty one aren’t ya

don’t pick up [7:24pm]: what’s this about

Clenching your jaw as you stare at the messages popping up on your screen only a few minutes after yours get delivered– which is unusual for him, to say the least– you work your way through another angry reply.

you [7:25pm]: your song???

don’t pick up [7:25pm]: did you like it? ;)

A dry chuckle escapes your throat at the last message. Of course you didn’t like it. You weren’t really a fan of the invasion of your privacy. You didn’t like the fact that he once again used your voice without permission, letting the whole world listen to your angry words that were addressed to him and only him. What was there for you to like about the song? His cheesy lyrics? The way he acted like he was way above you, belittling you with the power he had over you with all those voice messages? 

you [7:26pm]: yes i loved the invasion of my privacy a lot, thank you sunwoo

you [7:26pm]: isnt this illegal? ill look into it

don’t pick up [7:27pm]: now you’re being ridiculous.. its just a song y/n :) 

Was he being serious? Just a song? What about the prying eyes staring at you whenever you walk through the campus? What about the whispering behind your back whenever you sit in the school cafeteria? The pointed fingers whenever someone recognises that it’s you– the one that dated the good-for-nothing Soundcloud rapper and then broke his poor little heart. Was it ever really just a song?

you [7:28pm]: you cant be fr rn..

don’t pick up [7:33pm]: ah…let’s just talk abt it then

don’t pick up [7:33pm]: i’ll pick u up at 8? 

Staring at the messages on the screen, you let out another dry chuckle. The skin of your fingertips tingles when you swipe across the surface of your phone, opening the messaging app once again and tapping on the little bubble on the bottom, making the keyboard appear. The gears in your brain turn in swift motion as you try to sound nonchalant in your response, typing and deleting the message again, never getting the tone quite right. 

Responding to your ex boyfriend’s jabs and teasing in person seems to be easier for you, contrary to popular demand– you don’t have much time to think of your answer before the time frame between your arguments would turn too awkward with the silence, so you just say the first thing that comes to your mind. It comes naturally to you, though, and while you don’t particularly enjoy the fury and adrenaline that his smug smirks and jarring words make you feel, the tension his sudden messages built up only makes you more hesitant. 

You haven’t met up with Kim Sunwoo since the day you ended things, and you know damn well there’s a good reason for it.

Seeing him around campus or at parties of your mutual friends is a whole other thing than being with him in a closed space, all alone. It’s been a month since you ended things and while you are fairly certain that Sunwoo is a major jerk that is out to ruin your life, you can’t really tell if you’re actually over the major jerk that is out to ruin your life.

Seemingly letting Sunwoo know that you have the chat open, letting him watch your chat bubble pathetically appear and disappear in consistent time intervals, another quick message is shot your way, making your heart drum against your rib cage in even swifter motions. Running your hand through your hair, you sigh and drop the phone into your lap, helpless.

don’t pick up [7:40pm]: i’ll take it as yes

Sighing to yourself, you stand up from your bed and put on some presentable clothes. You don’t want to give Sunwoo any ideas, and that’s why you only change into clean sweatpants and a tank top, not putting much effort into your appearance at all. You need to send him the signal of being nonchalant– although your stance on the way he uses you in his songs is full of anger and resentment, you don’t want it to seem like you care much about the man himself at all.

Dragging yourself out of your room and putting on your shoes, you bump into your roommate Aeri passing you by with a mug of tea, her hair in a towel as she just came out of the shower. “You’re going somewhere?” 

“Going out,” you grunt.

“Oh?” she hums, leaning into the doorframe, “with who?”

The question catches you off guard. Turning around on your heel, you flash her an innocent smile, brain thinking of every possible solution you could use to not tell her that you’re going out with the exact person you’ve spent the last few weeks grunting over in dismay. “No one important,” you start, when her face morphs into a distressed frown.

“Is it Sunwoo?”

“Look, I-”

“It is fucking Sunwoo! I heard you scream into your pillow just now, I should’ve known it was that prick again,” she grunts, her guess confirmed by the very obvious discomfort on your face, suddenly in a hurry when you try to get out of the house in one swift motion and save yourself from the cross-examining conversation that’s surely about to happen judging by the look in Aeri’s face.

“I gotta go-”

“What about all your ‘I don’t ever wanna see him again’ talk?” she sighs, clearly disappointed with your life choices. 

“Look, it’s about the songs he’s been putting out. He’s being an ass about replying back to my messages and god knows I’m not calling him, or else he’d record it and put it in another song like the freak he is,” you squint your eyes at her, making sure your intentions are clear to your worried roommate. 

“Oh, right, because he’s going out with you just to talk,” she mutters, “when all you two have done since you broke up is argue. Mhm, seems about correct,” Aeri adds, making the situation even worse than it already was, because she’s right, after all– when have the two of you held a normal conversation in the past few weeks? Seeing him tonight might just be the worst idea of your life– right after deciding to date him, of course– and you’re completely aware of the fact.

Opening your mouth to answer with a jarring comment meant to put your roommate back in her place, the words are taken off your tongue when you hear the ring of your phone, the notification on your screen flashing with his messages.

don’t pick up [8:04pm]: youre 5 mins late

don’t pick up [8:05pm]: come out

“Look, I gotta go. We’ll talk about this later,” you mumble as you take your bag off the hanger, Aeri’s disapproving eyes following you as you head towards the door. 

“Right. Have fun,” she ironically sings, knowing very well what Kim Sunwoo’s intentions are for the night. Still, you fakely gag to her comment before you’re out the door and walking down the entryway.

As your figure walks out of the apartment complex, you almost don’t notice the man. You were expecting him to be waiting just behind the door, resting against the wall as he usually did back when you two were dating. The sight that meets your eye shocks you a little when you find him leaning against a 2007 Audi A4, the silver exterior of the car contrasting with the darkness of his clothes, hands folded on his chest as he watches you with an overly-confident smirk. 

“Took you long enough,” he teases as you finally cut through the distance. 

“Didn’t know you were so eager to see me,” you bite back, eyes scanning the vehicle. “Did you finally get a car with that new profession of yours? Or is that another one of your friend’s again?” you point towards the car, making the boy chuckle.

“Mine,” he says, “my ‘good-for-nothing career’ is taking off, as you may have noticed,” he hums, referencing all the arguments you two used to have about his dreams and ambitions, making you wince a little at the comment. You never believed in him ever making it big– you just didn’t think his dreams were ever really realistic– but judging by the way it’s been going for him, you must admit you may have been wrong with your snarky arguments before.

“Well, it’s not much, then,” you mutter instead, pretending to judge the state of his old, used-looking car.

“Gets the job done,” he shrugs as he peels himself off the door, opening the passenger side and sparing you a short glance. “Hop in?”

Sunwoo doesn’t wait for you to sit down so he can close the door after you– instead, he walks around the front of the car to the driver’s side, getting in himself– much to the gentleman he’s always been. Making sure you slam the door shut with as much force as you can, just to anger the man and his new toy, you fasten your seatbelt and watch as Sunwoo winces, but doesn’t mention it when he turns the engine on with a turn of the key and drives off the parking lot.

“Where are you taking me?” you ask, watching as the male snickers to himself. The calmness of his composure makes you oh so annoyed, making you despise every second spent together with him in the small space breathing in his cologne and listening to the songs playing through the speakers, reminding you of the playlist he’d always put on when he was given the privilege of the aux cord.

“What? Are you scared I’m gonna kill you?” Sunwoo jokes.

“Seeming that you’re batshit crazy, one can’t know what to expect from you nowadays,” you grunt, making him cheese with amusement.

“I thought I was just ‘a loser Soundcloud rapper that can’t do anything in life’,” he repeats to you a sentence you uttered out upon your breakup, the emotions getting the worst out of you after the way he’s been treating you. “Would a loser like me kill you? I don’t think so.”

“Very funny, Sunwoo,” you ironically bite back, rolling your eyes at his composure. The fact that he seemingly has the upper hand on you in the conversation makes you falter a little bit. “I just wanted to talk about the songs you’ve been putting out.”

“You wanted to tell me how much you like them? Thank you, I’m flattered–”

“No, you idiot. I wanted to talk to you about how uncomfortable they’re making me feel!” you yell out, making the male wince. 

There’s a momentarily silence in the car as the male drives, the streetlamps disappearing out of sight as he drives away from the city, into more sparse areas. His voice is a little more serious when he speaks up now, the lack of teasing in his tone making shivers run down your spine. “I don’t think it’s that serious, really.”

“Really?” you chuckle. “Because I don’t find it fun when people stop me on the street and ask all about our relationship, Sunwoo. Because I don’t know if you noticed, but you never asked for my permission when you used those.”

The sound of your own voice resonates through your brain, the first voice message he ever used in one of his songs (the one that made him finally more popular, funnily enough) making you sigh out in the darkness of the car. ‘Just.. I dunno, I said sorry, I apologized, I don’t know what more you want me to do.. like, what’s going on? Literally nothing, so like.. can’t we just… move on from this and… fucking let it go?’

“One would think you’d stop sending me these after the first one,” Sunwoo utters out, voice low and almost a little amused, which makes you tip over the edge.

“And I would think you wouldn’t use audio of me being vulnerable with you in a fucking song that everyone would hear, Sunwoo!” 

“Oh, did you mean that part where you called me a hypocrite for hanging out with my friends from high school without telling you? Or the part where you cursed me out after you broke up with me because I dared to text you again–”

“I was trying to pierce things back together!” you yell, making the male quiet down, resulting in taking a right turn towards a dead-end, the road approaching a forest. Not a single soul is to be found around here except the two of you, and when he turns the engine off, but stays staring ahead of him towards the trees, you continue with everything you’ve been holding inside of you– instead this time, your voice is more quiet, not having to scream over the sounds of the car anymore.

“I was apologizing. I was trying to make us work, Sunwoo. And just because you didn’t see it or didn’t have it in you to pay attention to me that night, it doesn’t give you the right to exploit me for your gain and make a fool out of me in front of everyone,” you say, watching as the male chews on the inside of his cheek.

“You are the one that broke up with me,” he says into the silence, “not the other way around.” 

A moment of silence hangs over you two like a heavy jacket. You were well aware of the fact– you broke up with Sunwoo after the night he went out with all of his female friends from high school, not telling you a thing about it before you found out through an Instagram story of one of them. You knew he was being petty, you knew he was doing it just to get back at you– because you never passed out on a chance to make him feel jealous, getting back at him for all the controlling comments he would make whenever you went out to clubs with your girlfriends– but it still drove you up against the wall and made you break.

Maybe you and Sunwoo weren’t made for each other. There’s no denying that you loved each other– you just didn’t really know how to handle your relationship. You never really learned how to handle problems. How to resolve issues. Both of you were too immature for the other, and it would never work– you only came to this conclusion after many tear-filled evenings, but coming to peace with it is still yet to come.

“I don’t see how that’s relevant to this conversation,” you say, shaking your head in disbelief.

The male scoffs, turning his head towards you, meeting your eye. “Did you even listen to the songs?” 

“Of course I did, how else would I know–”

“Then you must have noticed that I’m not making fun of you, or putting you on blast, or belittling you, or whatever you and your friends have said about me for the past month,” he counts on his fingers as he recites the words with an annoyed tone, big eyes bearing into yours. 

“You exposed me being vulnerable.”

“I’m vulnerable in these too!” he urges out, eyebrows furrowing at you in exasperation.

“That’s your fucking choice! Don’t drag me into it!”

While you must admit that none of the lyrics Sunwoo’s ever written about you were lies, or making fun of you or throwing harsh words in your direction, you still feel as if a chunk of you has been thrown out in the open, for anyone to pick apart and poke around. You always told Sunwoo you liked his way with words, and there is no denying that his lyrics, although they were painfully honest, were quite beautiful. If you weren’t the one the songs were about, maybe you’d even like them. Maybe you could give them a listen without feeling like you want to crawl out of your skin. Maybe you could add them to your playlist without feeling ashamed that you’re still thinking about the male, picking apart your relationship like every outsider has been doing since the songs went viral, but instead, finding places where you could’ve done things differently and kept him by your side.

It was hard to listen to his words and see the reflections of your past flashing in front of your eyes like a movie. While you admit that he did the timeline of your relationship justice, you do despise the fact that his words are getting to you so much. 

You don’t like hearing about the things you’ve done wrong. You don’t like listening to him apologize– although he would never do so directly. You don’t like to hear him say that he misses you, because it makes it hard for you to keep your fair distance from him.

“I don’t know what I was thinking… Can you drive me home, Sunwoo? We’re clearly not on the same page about this,” you say, averting your gaze from him towards the window.

“No.”

“Sunwoo, can you please drive me–”

“Not until we talk about this, no,” he says firmly, watching you foam over with fury.

“What else is there to talk about?”

“Us!”

“There’s no us anymore, Sunwoo! And I think it’s the time you come to terms with that and stop abusing our failed relationship for your stupid songs,” you bark, throwing daggers into his skull with your fierce eyes.

“So you get to go and post angry tweets and badmouth me in front of your friends, but when I cope in a perfectly respectful manner, it’s wrong?” he argues, scoffing and shaking his head at you.

“God, you’re unbelievable. You’re comparing two vastly different things–”

“Do you not like the songs because you feel exposed, or do you not like them because I’m saying exactly what you don’t want to hear?” he asks, eyes bearing into yours with such heaviness you feel like you could cut the tension with a knife.

“Like what? That you think I regret breaking up with you?” you scoff, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Why else would you pick a fight with me every time I call? Why pick it up at all?”

“Why do you call, then?” you challenge him, chewing on the bottom of your lip. The male leans closer to you, sparks dancing in his eyes when his voice resonates through the car like a low thunder, making the tips of your fingertips buzz and your heart beat faster.

“You know exactly why I call.”

“To make me angry and get me to scream at you?”

“If that means I get to talk to you,” he shrugs, a subtle grin overtaking his features, a churn of your stomach warning you of the dangerous area you just entered.

Eyes never breaking contact with his, relishing in the way his hungry gaze picks you apart, you attempt to conceal your true feelings with an annoyed comment. “This isn’t going anywhere,” you muse, “god, I never wanna see your face again.”

He clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth, teasing you. “That’s what you said last time,” he says, “so what are you doing in my car then, babydoll?”

The pet name makes your stomach drop, the lightness in your head coming back to you as you furrow your brows at the male, trying hard to come up with a smart remark. Your brain turns into liquid and there’s buzzing in your ears as you try to focus on staying calm and true to your best judgment, but the moment Sunwoo’s head leans even closer to your face, his words render you both speechless and thoughtless as he mutters a sentence that’s barely louder than a whisper, yet powerful enough to pull you in.

“Stop fighting me for once, will you?”

Your lips are pushed against his with force, the kiss mirroring the essence of being starved of each other for the past month. His plush lips move against yours with the skill that only a man you’ve spent tens and hundreds of nights kissing would acquire, his hand placed on your jaw to steady you, adjusting the pace of his kisses just the way you always liked it. 

A force that’s greater than yourself brings you out of your seat and into the driver’s lap, giving the male better access to your throat as you settle comfortably under your newly acquired human chair. His strong thighs flex under you when you thread your fingers through his hair, bringing him back up to connect your lips together before he breathlessly pulls away, gazing at you with a boyish grin on his face.

“Why did we even break up again?” he jokes.

You reply to him with the same lightness of your tone, shrugging. “Because you were a jealous, possessive prick and I had a short temper that always egged you on?” you say, watching as the male pretends to ponder on the information, humming to himself.

“I think I can put that past me.”

“Can you?” you joke, tracing his cheekbone with your thumb, a sly smirk playing with your lips as you lean over him and press a firm, yet short peck to his swollen lips. “Or will you make another mediocre song about it?”

“Don’t call them mediocre,” he squints at you, eyes tracing your face when your hands slip further down his face to cradle his jaw, thumbs padding his lips.

“I easily outdid you on your own song, Kim Sunwoo.”

“That’s why I add you in, actually.”

“Really?” you snicker, tone full of fake disbelief. His hands hold your sides when you lean over the man and latch yourself to his neck, dragging out kisses up and down his warm skin. “Will you make a song for each of our arguments, then?” 

Teeth scraping the skin of his throat, you find the male humming under you in pleasure and satisfaction. He has you right where he wanted you– and although this is not how you imagined the night to go, you don’t find yourself disappointed with the turn of events. The previous annoyance is still there, but now is shielded by the need in you, the longing for him you can’t really battle whenever he is around.

Settling deeper against his body, you feel the male slip one hand into your hair, tugging at the roots of your hair gently to bring your face back to his, averting your attention away from the love bites you’ve been placing on his skin. 

“Unless you give me another topic to write about,” he suggests, his hungry lips swallowing your reply. 

You and Sunwoo were never really good for each other. Too messy, too turbulent, but too consumed with the other to ever truly let go. Seeing him tonight surely wasn’t the best of your ideas– but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t silently hope the evening would turn out this way.

You and Sunwoo were never the ones to make good decisions when it came to the other one anyway. What’s one another badly calculated step in your relationship gonna do?

[gettinshiggywithit]

!Spending Your Birthday With Akutagawa!

(Pt 1)(this is part 2)(pt 3{comin tmrw!})

scenario:- its your birthday and akutagawa wants to do something nice

pairing:- akutagawa x gn!reader

Akutagawa wouldnt really be all that into it tbh

Like he just doesnt get why people would make such a fuss about the day they were brought into this endless struggle of a rat race

But when he sees how excited you get,he thinks that maybe,just maybe, makin an effort to keep that smile on your face wouldn’t be too pointless

He asks higuchi what he should do(OMG HIGUCHI MY LOVE IM SORRY) (also we all know that no matter what,higuchi wants him to succeed.... ITS TRAGIC BRO)

And she ofc has amazing ideas but um akutagawa is just a liiittle bit lost (insert wan face)

But in the end even the black lizard team help him

Ofc he didnt ask em( HE DOESNT NEED HELLPPP(okay buddy sheesssh))

Gin and higuchi picked out a present while hirotsu and tachihara got the decor

Aku was just...there ig? He kindaaa(not rly) helped with the decor but once the gals were back everything was set

They just needed u

And when u got back to a pitch black room,you were confused as FUCKK but a second later they all Jumped out and shouted

SURPRISE !!!!!!!

you were obviously taken by surprise!

And as the night went on tachihara and higuchi goT WASTEDDD while gin and hirotsu were the designated adults :’)

At the end of it all (higuchi and tachi had to be carried back😭) akutagawa took your hand and led you to the rooftop of the building

You were OBVIOUSLY confused all over again and i mean

Rightfully so

But when you finally got your destination you were blown away by the simple yet charmingly perfect set up

Fairy lights hung over a blanket with more blankets and pillows and a picnic basket (no wonder the fuxker wasnt helpin earlier he had just done this!) you were practically tearing up which had HIM confused

Like

WHY WERE YOUUU CRYIN??? WAS IT RLY THAT BADD???

But when you practically tackled him with a hug(something only you were allowed to do fyi) while thanking him over and over,her realized you were

HAPPY crying

And let me tell you

Boi was reallyyyy proud of himself

He then took your hand,and led you to the blanket where you talked and had your lil picnic and sure enough you started to fall asleep soon after

He laid you down before joining you himself and like

EIGHT HOURS LATER you woke up tangled together;his coat wrapped the two of you up in a lil makeshift burrito

Your first words to him that morning were “thank you that was the best birthday ever” and at that moment his heart raced with how pure pride and happiness.

please dont repost my work here as your own on any platform all rights belong to me except that of the characters used,their right belong to their respective owners.but these stories? mine.

feedback,likes,reblogs and comments are so very appreciated tbh :’)i hope you enjoyed and ill catch ya next time!

Comments & Reblogs w/ tags >>>>>>>>>>>likes please

Tag list open for anyone who wants!

[mediocre-noodle]

recent reblog: tell about q!slime 👀 (i havent watched qsmp but i know crumbs)

HAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA yippee!! im very bad at character analysis and articulating my words but its ok i got this

1. feelings: ohhhhhhhh my god. he literally has been my favorite character of all time for the past year or so? i cant get him out of my brain 😭 i think hes such an incredibly tragic character that deserved so much better than the shitty hand he was dealt :( i feel ill about this freaking guy.

2. romantic pairings: main romantic ship is definitely him and mariana! at first they were the definition of a toxic, loveless marriage (still pretty much are LMAO) but i think, especially after their conversation in purgatory, they were genuinely really good together. like, them joking around and being really sweet was so, like, augghhhh 😭😭😭 but like. the toxic marriage was so fucking funny to watch 😭 i laughed so hard i started crying during the trial of juanaflippa LMAOO

2.5: another romantic pairing is him and cellbit because. dude. their conversation during the dia de los muertos stream was SOOOOOOOOOOO omg. it lives in my head rent free 😭 i think they would only serve to make each other SO MUCH WORSE and i am here for it (yeah cellbit is married but like. slime had a mega crush on that man theres no denying it, and me personally i think their relationship (romantic or not) is SOOOOOO fascinating, especially during slime’s code arc)

3. non-romantic otp: slime and baghera!!!!!! they are the definition of friendship soulmates to me LMAO. baghera trying so hard to be there for him even when NO ONE ELSE WAS and the infection was getting so bad……. ough……! but also, their funny moments are EVERYTHINGGGG to me. the fish joke and the karaoke and all their silly little conversations… gah…….. AND PURGATORYYYYY!!! i cant articulate thoughts about them beyond OOOOGH🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍 (platonic)

4. unpopular opinion: idk how unpopular this is but like. i wish purgatory never happened 😭 like it was SO MUCH FUN while it lasted, but the overall impact it had, especially on qslime, was DEFINITELY not worth it lmao. like, it completely shoved all of his lore and buildup out of the way in favor of the event, and then????? he wasnt ever told to log back on???????? (context xi: the admins on the qsmp handled a lot of lore for the players, and slime’s lore really started to pick up just before the purgatory event. when the event was over, multiple players were told to not log on for “lore”, but slime and one other guy (pol) were never let back onto the server 😭 like, they straight up forgot about him even though he was SUPPOSED to have made it out of purgatory) i dont really have much more to that. bolas was fun, wasnt worth my cubito never getting anymore lore tho

5. something i wish happened: i wish we got an ending… or closure……… or something………

because!!!!! like!!!!!!! his story was going SO WELL (in a pacing and interest sense, the character was SUFFERING lmao) and it was really coming together!!! the pacing and buildup were AMAZING and it really looked like it was going to reach its peak after purgatory!! but, alas. he was forgotten. and so was his lore. because we NEVER saw codeflippa again. or him. or his code infection. and im never going to be over it.

i really need to go back and rewatch the streams to brush up on my qslime brain but. yeah!! thank you for indulging me :333 (if any of this was confusing or smth lemme know and i can clear it up!!)

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

okay but hold me like you scared to sounds so good already (they all sound so good tbh but this one piqued my interest lol) what's it about? and for the fanfic questions 32, 50 and J :))

@frappe-the-peppermint WE GOT ONE 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 ahem oh wow who said that. anyway ill do the questions first then get into fic discussion…

32) Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

i listen to SO MUCH MUSIC!!!!! it depends on what im wrting tbh but i just queue up a bunch of songs in my liked playlist and write and write until it ends or im no longer on that flow. and well my music taste is an absolute mess so there isnt any one definitive band or genre that does it for me (i only pay attention Sometimes) but i suppose artists like mitski and queen would be a decent summary of my taste 😅

50) How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

gravity falls, no stop. the first one that ever piqued my interest was versability (originally on ff.net me thinks) and god damn it HOOKED ME!!!! gravity falls was already getting me up but wow that just got me SO MUCH HIGHER. i have a few authors i started binge reading like thesnadger and pinesinthewoods, i started extracting fics from reccs from tumblr artists, soon discovered ao3, and never looked back. and as for writing fic,,,,, well frankly it was the search for the cure’s original form that got me GOING!!!! it originally had crappy ocs as the forefronters but i soon changed that lmao (im definitely not saying theyre bad in general, just those… no) and i wrote So Much For It on my notes app. i didnt realize i culd actually show people until way later, in which i did, and realized that it could actually be better. thats why i reversed back to part one, made the story a part two, scapped the ocs, and…now we’re here. i still love it and gravity falls, i dont really show it here anymore. i really should, man. i need to write for them again!!!! it still excites me!!!! and the prose that im weaving now,,,, id DEMOLISH THE GAME!!!!!!! :)

J) what your favorite fanfic trope? have you written it?

honestly i think just showing you my favorted ao3 tags will paint a very detailed picture. here:

though i suppose if i had to pick one here…god its between time loop and presumed dead (and grief/moruning but idk if thats a trope so much as it is a theme). MMMMMMMM. mmmmm. just YES. the psychological affects of both being a time loop and thinking someone you love is dead but they arent actually are DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!! they are a MUST HAVE. i daydream constantly, but i havent written time loop yet because while i love it, i havent hadthe motive to write such a thing myself. reading is chill ✊ and presumed dead well i try to throw it is as much as i can, the most recent ive used being a west end town and my favorite being that one kid from jersey ! i need to do more of these fr. its just so GOOD!!!!!!

okay. its finally time for the brainwashing discussing of the fic ! i can tell you alllll about that story and it will be my pleasure sonny 🫡 its a very long story. but short verison in case you dont want to go on: its a Titanic epic . april 1912. iceberg. ive read a few that are AMAZING, but i wanted to write one that catered it allll to Me. it has lesbians, heaven sucking ass, flood parallels, and a king of the world AND draw me like one of your french girls scene. very nice 🔥

okay now its time for the long story. so a super super long time ago for a post i cant even remember (i really wanna find it 😭😭) i for someone reason went on a tangent about the titanic. i had just read this fic called sinking into the sea which was tbh VERY GOOD (and i would read it again fr fr ) but at the time, i was kinda bummed that aziraphale and crowley never actually Interacted when i had expected. aziraphale didnt even know crowley was there!!! it left me feeling melancholy, and realizing that all of the titanic fics ive ate up to that point didnt HIT hit the spot (i didnt find this after this realization, but again, theyre not even on the boat 🤧) so i was feeling a bit incomplete. i started ranting and ranting it was a wholeee wall of a text of what I would do with a titanic story and i realized oh wait i can Do Something with this because i haev free will and actual (somewhat) coherent skill. pepper jumped on the wagon, REALLY REALLY encouraged which i cant thank enough for, and….we’re here. its brewing. i had a very large interest in the titanic for a long time before this tbh, so being able to insert it into The Interest just JUMPSTARTED my brain and it still does to this day. now for the plot….

its 2020, a year after the apocalypse (no pandemic). anathema, newt, brian, crowley, and aziraphale have been assigned to plan adam’s 12th birthday party—they shenanigan, as you do. on the day of the party (adam’s birthday) anathema and newt find a chest in jasmine cottage’s attic full of titanic relics, including a pack of polaroid photos (handheld cameras did indeed exist in 1912, i checked !) which kinda might sort of have a photo of aziraphale and crowley!?!?! it was sent to them about six months before. but after the whole Second Volume fiasco, anathema just sort of wrote it off in that way and Hid It. but newt was curious, he found it, and god it was writtent his way wasnt it. (well, not by the nutter they were thinking of actually). anathema confronts them about itsoon after, and they all sit down to hear the story of the titanic in a sort of rose dawson beat. then its 1912—50ish years since the holy water incident and almost a century since the resurrectionists disaster. aziraphale has been assigned to take this trip to new york for Some Reason (we found out why later) and happened to invite crowley to come along to attempt to make amends after Allat (he really does feel bad, but he will NOT do the holy water thing yet </3) shit occurs, but history atlarge will not be rewritten. it does change their story, though. adding a sprinkle of interest in the device family line. agnes prophec(y)(ies), dancing on deck under the stars, playing cards with humans and winning by a Lot, aziraphale’s artistic skills are put to use at one point—ughghgufhits just so DEAR TO ME!!!!! and of course the conflict will come later, especially considering the religious connections to the titanic sinking—“not even God can sink this ship” type conversation 🥰 aziraphale can and will be made uncomfortable. its for the character development dont worry about it. i even have a playlist for this fic (it sorted by the way the tone shifts thru the story, some songs are silly but they had to stay). pep has also made some song covers to some of the songs that ive heavily connected to the fic and I REALLY FUCKING LIKED. LIKE A LOT. THEYRE AMAZING YOU SHOULD LISTEN IF YOU WANT TO!!!!

the point of all this is that i like titanic fics and im trying to throw my hat in the ring even if its just for me and my friend 🔥🔥 because while others have fed me, i havent seen ones that have documented like Every Single Day on the titanic that aziraphale and crowley would theoretically have as well as developing aziraphale and crowley’s relationship while taking into account whats happened before (insert the story into a part of the timeline seamlessly i think thats how i’d describe) AS WELL AS connecting the reason why the titanic was such a freak tragedy and how the world is not fucking fair instead of just “oh whoops the thing sank 😞” i want NITTY GRITTY DETAIL!!!!!! I WANT GUILT!!!!!!! I WANT CHAOS!!!!!!!! I WANT TALKING ABOUT GOD!!!!!!! I WANT AZIRAPHALE IN A MENTAL CRISIS!!!!! I WANT CROWLEY JUST WANTING TO FUCKING LIVE FUCKING PEACEFULLY!!!!!!! I WANT LESBIANS!!!!!! i need to get on this,,,, so much to do. i love it all and TY FOR THE ASK!!!!

[aropride]

frankly this is one of the scariest things ive ever chosen to do. second only to like. coming out to my parents

i dont know whats going to happen. i know its a zoom meeting, that itll be like 2 hours at most, that their advisor will ask me questions and mh advisor will ask them questions. and i know i’ll probably have to tell the story again. which is bad enough. but also in front of them. knowing that every word i say is being recorded and any slip up could fuck me over and i have to keep it together and be calm and rational and stay good under pressure

which is what ive been doing through this whole fucking case and im so sick of it. ive done everything right i wrote everything down ive self advocated ive spoken up for myself ive sent so many fucking emails and ive been so fucking civil. i havent said anything publicly about them ive only told close friends and m. and ofc a. i havent told them to kill themself even though i wanted to really really bad. ive responded to every email in a timely manner i wrote my complaint in as much detail as possible i picked off half my skin during the interview. i am being the perfect victim and i feel like i am donating my body to be autopsied in front of a class of curious med students.

and i just have to do that for a couple more days and then nothing will change probably and all i can bring myself to hope for is that they will rule in my favor. i cant hope for them to be suspended or expelled i cant give myself that hope. probably nothing much will come of it and its fucking infuriating but ive known that all along

and i keep asking myself why am i doing this

i need to write down everything i want to say. i need to come up with questions and i need to tell my advisor i dont know what kind of fucking questions are supposed to be being asked here. i need to reply to jon and i need to check that advising emailed me back. i need to start packing.

ive been thinking about what ill do during the hearing to stay calm and after to calm down. my first thought for after was petting my dogy. but i wont be able to i’ll be at school he wont ve there it’ll just be me. in my room alone. itll probably be too cold for the beach. i dont know i guess i’ll just have phone time in bed

Who else up and scared

[alitgblog]

s9 vol 7 thoughts: ah fuck this season has its problems but I don't think I've ever been this conflicted over love interests in a while

STEFAN 😍😍😍 literally I have to change my top five islanders now like I'm so sorry evan. AND he's an artist?? And it's my own fault for already buying into the second chance romance bit before he even showed up but like he's not ugly? omg stop. oof it's tough, like, shit I'm so sorry Natasha and Hamish I don't know who to pick in this love square they've got

him illustrating his sister's book for his sisters?? 🥺 I may be folding for that alone

I like Cassius' design. I like it more than Theo's but he does remind me of Liam unfortunately. and also he's looking like my MC's cousin this season so I gotta pass this time but makes it easier for me. but he does seem great, I like him and he's sweet without being boring (so far), but I also kinda wish we had an LI that gave us more pushback/banter? bc I picked a few options that disagreed with his whole thing about love/fate and he was just like "yeah fs that's a cool opinion too" which OK I get it he's nice but I'm just kinda sick of all the Islanders being so agreeable to MC. I guess Marshall is supposed to be the banter-y one but I have problems with him being here so I wish it was Cassius instead.

that being said they're fucking teasing me with this response to why are you here though

also at some point Cassius calls his season boring and I thought it was funny fusebox was dunking on themselves bc I didn't finish s7 either but no he was just referring to the fact he got dumped quickly.

I'm glad Lyle is back, like I'd be upset if an islander was only brought on for a date and then left, so I'm not mad at this even though he was momentarily mad at MC (and that became nothing?? like just take out that plot point) and i dont really care hes only coded in for Kat now. I'm just more upset bc they've literally already done this in S8 bc your LI has to pick between Sienna and Bea when they get "dumped" and then Sienna comes back in Casa.

And then we get to marshall and I don't even wanna talk about it. And ive made separate posts and reblogged some opinions on that so ill just add that also i hate his orange outfit. him dressing all white and ozzy all black was peak I hate he's out here in orange smh.. anyway so that'll be easy for me to not pick this season

although we get this and I thought it was funny like OK fine you got me marshall

he says it with a smile too not even angry/sarcastic

then after that I honestly don't remember what happens apart from way too many challenges all at once and the whole Stefan storyline. I wanted him to be a little upset initially bc it did seem like MC had some misunderstanding and then left him so quickly like I just wanted a little bit of angst where he came in with the gameplan of wanting to give her a piece of his mind and was on the show bc he couldn't contact her any other way, before he realized he was being silly and just was happy to see her again. like if anything, the story beats that Lyle goes through being snarky at mc in episode 1 then immediately asking for forgiveness by episode 3 makes more sense for Stefan but nah instead it just feels like another perfect li loyal route (which is fine but I like some tension in the story). like we can still have the terrace scene where he explains things though.

also if I saw this on love island? I'd be voting for them without question the angst is so good

OK I'm looking thru my screenshots and am now remembering I was upset at raunchy races for being subjective again. notable offenses:

straight out the gate, most creative boy and Kelly says "craft brewing is creative" gtfo as if it's not Chen the set designer (and anyone who brought back Lyle from the dates, I'd imagine musician over craft beer brewer as well)

Kat somehow doesn't win best dancer

I love Kelly and sure, biggest foodie but not when my mc is a chef smh at least in S6 the dialogue would change slightly with your occupation lmao

the physical challenge is OK but I just think it doesn't belong in casa. like on the actual show where they spend real days in casa it's fine but for the game that has to shorten it bc the volumes definitely don't add up to the length of real love island, it feels like a waste. if anything, the real villa needed a physical challenge rather than continuing to do variations on excess baggage type games.

someone help Kelly out with the mask pls

anyway the OG islander to visit instead of a postcard is interesting. I think a postcard makes the most sense but bc the game has to fabricate drama while also probably wanting most of the guys to still look good since the villa is like 75% love interests for MC, maybe it makes sense?

I think having it be MC's partner doesn't give us a lot of drama unless MC wants to bring up Stefan. Finn and Hamish could be interesting whether you're pursuing them or not. Like under the guise of them checking in on their partner, but they just care about MC and are asking her not to forget them. Most likely i think it'll be Kat's partner and he'll make up some lies about what's happening in the villa.

anyway a little rough first few weeks of the season but I'm enjoying at least this episode, surprisingly, so we'll seeeeee.... I think the seasons generally gets worse post casa so I'm not betting on this being a good season overall, but I'm not calling it a flop just yet.

[cerealmonster15]

2 8 9 AND 16 FOR FANDOM QUESTIONS‼️

WAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!! let's go twst mode

2. a headcanon you weren't sure about at first but have come to like!

ummmmmm. hmm. im trying to think of any widely accepted headcanons besides the 1.5.5 i am thinking of that i like, dont really personally subscribe to LOL but that doesnt answer the question. i feel like generally i either like it right away or i dont often change my mind, or i just cant recall any rn LOL ill get back to this one maybe 🚶‍♂️ [spoiler: i did not think of anything LOL]

yknow i think he closest thing i can think of right now was like early on people saying maybe malleus could turn into a dragon and i was like hmmm idk, but then i think he literally said/implied/maybe offscreen did it in a halloween vignette?? i actually cant remember what actually happened there in detail rn lol but also ummmm. certain things in book 7 also kinda prove it as more canon LOL so i think it's less ive come to also headcanon it and more like. he just can do that.

8. you hope more people will come to appreciate _ (a ship, a trope, an episode, etc)

i really think people should pay attention to jade/rook please god theyre so weird and strange and funny together please read jade's gym uniform vignette it's my favorite thing ever

9. a ship that isn't your OTP but that you enjoy

ok well i could say jade/rook again tbh but i'll pick another one LOL ummm. i think kalim and ruggie are cute c: i think kalim is cute with most of the second years tbh. he's a sweet boy.

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

holding myself back from once again screaming for an hour about riddle and cater being friends that like and respect each other sdfsgkfjdkl. except it IS a thing i wish people noticed more!!! but idk if /I/ would consider it a tiny detail [just look at all these screenshots teehee]

soooo instead ill go with jack's cute admiration of riddle that's brought up in jacks ceremony robes story. idk if thats even really a detail so much as it is a scene i think about a lot and think is soooo adorable and just want to talk about more LOL i like that jack and riddle and juice are in this category of like "i am a good boy i will follow the rules and be a good student. however i am not immune to falling into the trap of tomfoolery and getting baited and also killing when the time calls for it [whether or not the time actually calls for it]" jfkldsjflksd it's cute. i think jack and juice both look up to riddle tbh as like Honor Student Boy LOL it's so sweet. my friend and i used to joke that all the first years wanna be like jack cuz hes buff and strong, except for jack himself who wants to be like riddle lol.

[x]

[matthewmurdockswife]

can you do matt murdock with a recovered sh reader and she just told matt that the scars are self inflicted

Underneath every scar lies a story Reader x Mattmurdock

I hold stories like this really close to me so thank you for the request love <3

TW: mentions of Sh, swearing, mentions of mental illness

We sat on the couch a spot I frequently found me and matt resting. He has just finished his nightlife protecting hells kitchen and now it was his tome to protect me as he liked to say. As I leaned my back against him I let my thoughts wander It wasnt long before I thought about my past, my scars. they were something I had grown to ignore but It never stopped my mind from thinking about them from time to time and matt picked up on it. “ what is it love” He spoke softly “ just thinking” I let my mind drift off momentarily but it wasnt long before I heard matt speak again “what’s bothering you I can hear your heart going insane” I sat up and got off of matt I let my feet touch the floor somethong that had made me feel grounded. I knew I had to tell matt I couldnt keep hiding things from him It was stressing me out, the fact that he can hear my heart from three blocks away wasnt necessarily helping. “ You want me to be open with you about myself, right” I knew the awnser to the question but I wanted to help calm my plauging thoughts I needed to “ of course sweetheart always you can tell me anything” he smiled and sat up to rub my back and my leg started to bounce uncontrollably “ the scars you felt before, I did them myself” His whole body stiffened whoch only scared me even more his deep red glasses now on the coffee table and his head turned closer to me “what do you mean doll, I dont understand what you’re trying to tell me” I sighed knowing ive dreaded telling him this but I cant keep hinding the truth I cant live in this lie anymore “I used to cut myself matthew” I watched his head drop of course he was angry with me I am too I felt him grab my hand and heard the softest sob escape his mouth he looks up at me with tears welling in his eyes threatening to spill like the others already falling down his face I shouldve known he would take the news bad it wasnt fair of me to burden him like this he broke my thoughts speaking up " Show me your scars,"he said. "But why?"I asked "I want to see how many times you needed me and I wasn't there," he whispered more tears now staining his already tear soaked face the sight made my heart shatter into a million pieces He spent the rest of the night just proving to me why he was so perfect in the first place, showing me how Despite my scars I was the most perfect woman in the world to him, and how he will always be there for me the next time I feel like this so he can help me through, by my side. Together.

guys I want you to know you’re never alone and my messages are always open feel free to rant to me or talk to me about anything Nothing is ever worth hurting like this reach out to someone and take care of yourself love you guys xxx <3

[himbos-hotline]

I’ve probably asked before but favorite wrestling ship(s) & favorite wrestling fic(s) that you’ve written or you’ve read

Hangkenny

hangmatt

hangnick

The polycule

the elite polycule

goldens lovers

chuck and trent

chuck trent and orange

i have a weird love hate relatiosnhip with cmjf [its one of the first wresling ships ive shipped, I forfollow some real talented wpeople who write it, punk makes me wanna punch through a wall and in the worse way possible]

briit baker and jamie hayer

zowens

brit and cole [litearlly melt into a small pile of "im aroace but i want what they have]

the sheild was the first polycule i ever shipped

HOOKHAUSEN MY BELOVED

ive read offically one jungleboy/darby fic and its in my brain rent free

william regal/excalibur

RJ City/Clauido [my big sibling and I made that one]

jon moxley and eddie kingston

hungbucks

cash and dax

I think, if I find a fic with the right vibe, ill ship basically anything...I also have a real softspot of like, OC x canon ships.... *stares at the mass of my OCS*

As for fics, there sooooo many of other peoples. Like theres some that fundermentally changed my brain chestry with certain lines. Ill get it down to my top like, 3

@miserablecreachur 's There's a fire in you that gets me all upset/And I'll bring up the past while you try to touch my leg

Literally, its a fic my big sibling and I talk about CONSTANTLY and the fucking line "It was when he had the chair raised that he caught the blue in Cole’s eyes. Blue like Kenny’s eyes. And all of a sudden he couldn’t, not anymore. Even though he should, and he knew he should. He couldn’t defeat Kenny by becoming Kenny. That was all. That it was it." fucking chews me up inside, its litearlly a fucking

anything by @old-no7 theres something about the write he writes that just grips me in and makes the stories live imn my head rent free. the imagery and the way they write is so cool and tbh their writing really is the way im getting my words back, because I read their fics and my brain just vibrates with pictures that I have to find my own words for....they got me into shipping the elite polycule and are one of the biggest reasons why I continued my hungbucks story [which I will pick up on when I remember where the story was going]

Cinderella stories never happen to whores by dojadoja on AO3 [if theyre on tumblr pls tag them in this!!] I burned through the entire fic while waiting in the bank and never wanted to tear a fic up between my teeth more or just hold it between my hands and just...I want to be violent against this fic for hte amount of emotions it like, gave me..its such a good read!!!

For fics I myself have written...

Uhh, again top three because I dont wanna make this ask longer than what it should be.

An open hand [for your other man]. I love the softness between kenny and the bucks versus the roughness between hangy and adam, literally makes me wanna cry if I think about Kenny is soft with everyone apart from hangman

I find myself alone at night [Unless I'm having sex] somehow I managed to make a soft fic prompt into something heartbreaking. this fic has artwork connected to it

theres a lot more fanfics that I LOVE and ones that im proud off but for now, theyre the only two I can think off. the

[alienaiver]

Hi Hi Nohr! I had a question for you!! Do you think Shinsou, Kuroo and Allen would get along with Snøfle?

hi deru my love !!!! happy weekend !! will you be doing anything exciting ?? <!!!!33333

AND THAT SUCH A TOUGH QUESTION ACTUALLY,, i think its more of an issue of snøfle Not getting along with anyone... my toxic trait is generally telling snøfle hes a very good boy even though hes very bad most of the time KLJDSAKDHJAS <333 these three exactly are actually VERY different with him so its very fun to imagine thank u for sending it in!!!!! kissing u<3333

but ill break down their relationships with him!

kuroos patience with snøfle is wearing thin... first of all hes already stated he prefer dogs if he has to pick, but loves all animals generally! so when i tell him about snøfle he smirks and thinks easy peasy !! but the way snøfle wont let the bathroom door stay closed for any private matter or the way that he gets territorial about my dinner table when im cooking (its like he Knows therell be food on it soon and he wants to make sure hes the first to get it???? hes so strange bcos i havent fed him human food by the table ever) HE WILL CHOMP ANY WHO TRIES TO SET THTE TABLE. we have fooled snøfle exactly once (1) to believe that kuroos lap was mine underneath a blanket, and kuroo still tells the story of how snøfle sat on his lap proudly to everyone (omitting the fact that he was tricked, bamboozled, fooled). i think snøfle would LOVE kenma, which in turn would only make kuroo more frustrated tbh.... and the chances are that snøfle primarily likes kenma to annoy kuroo... i see a rivalry ..... and dont get me started if kuroo ever needs to petsit snøfle for me JHDSAKJHDAJ... he will hiss, whine, bite, headbutt, attack, cuddle, scream, hiss again... all in the first five minutes. when we go to bed in the evening, snøfle will howl and whine and complain when kuroo comes to cuddle. hes allowed nowhere near me (snøfle and i share a pillow and NOTHING shall come between that!).. so.. strained. battle of the garbage dump but its just kuroo having beef with my fat senior feline

shinsou on the other hand has no qualms about snøfles behavior. of course he internally wishes for more love from snøfle, but he isnt interested in forcing a relationship with him, taking every bite or slap without a grimace (even /i/ get worried about his indifference to snøfles Bad Boy Behavior). snøfle reluctantly opens up to shinsou only bcos he doesnt become visibly annoyed with him/puts up with his behavior after so long, and while he doesnt voluntarily cuddle with shinsou if im there, he will tolerate a petting and a good play while i read or write !!! theyre besties if im away, cuddling and spooning away as if he was the primary owner ! its very cute, but as soon as i unlock the door, he pretends shinsou doesnt exist again in favor of my attention. theres nothing more adorable than seeing the selfies shinsou sends of them tho!!!

and for last i got allen which is just a whole... oof situation, for both of them. allens got timcanpy who has a track record of being eaten by cats and snøfles NO exception when it comes to want to chomp him. its... terrible for everyone involved. allens childish side comes forth when it comes to snøfle, bcos snøfle is just so downright outrageous and rude. allen can talk perfectly poised and polite until snøfle enters the room with what allen perceives as a evil and mean grin. plus, snøfles a pretty RUDE food begger and allens VERY protective of his food. its not really... an ideal match, tbh. theres so much meat on allens plate so snøfles naturally more inclined to beg by him than me which doesnt help !!! i wish theyd get along better.. sometimes allen throws him a piece of meat in hopes itll leave him alone, but its only until the bites been devoured, then hes back on the table, all up in his face! i try to tell him this, but he do get desperate sometimes when snøfle almost steps on the plate or tips over his cup. although on VERY FEW occassions i have found them next to me on the bed in the middle of the night, cuddled up with allens arm around snøfles tummy. they both deny this, though. all my photo evidence has been mysteriously deleted......... i think snøfle will simply claim he thought it was my hand if we ever found a cat translation app.

DKSJFHSJ I HAVE BEEN GIGGLING OUT LOUD AT THESE IMAGINES........................ i almost cant believe snøfles THIS bad of a host but alas, he does have his... traits. i shall include my favorite and HIS favorite picture of him that shall make everyone who read this AWFUL slanderous defemation of snøfle immediately forget about it and only think of him as an angel !!

[gettinshiggywithit]

!Swan dive!

Scenario:- deku makes a life changing decision;kacchan sees it all

Characters:- katsuki Bakugou ,izuku midoriya

Pairing:- kinda Bakudeku

tw :- character death

Enjoy~

Izuku was tired

He was tired of the bullying

He was tired of the ridicule

And most importantly,

He was tired of bakugou.

Everyday was complete agony

All because his precious kacchan had picked him to be the target of his insults.

Why did it have to be him??just because he was quirkless????

Why couldnt he just be born with a quirk

Why must HE suffer alone

Izuku was tired

And that’s why he wasnt scared

Its why he didn’t hesitate.

“Take a swan dive off the building ,then maybe youll be born with a quirk in your next life.”

The words rang fresh in his mind as he stood on the edge of the school’s roof.

The wind blew his green mess of hair back and out of his face

And for a second he thought even nature wanted him to see his death

His mind raced,trying to come up with reasons not to.

What about his mother?

“No she abandoned me.she gave up on me when she was my last hope... shell be fine”he told himself

What about ALLMIGHT he’d never approve of this!hed want me to survive!

“Well too bad ‘cos where even is he??hes nothing but a grinninf idiot who uses force to achieve his goals.hes nothing!”

Izuku was crying now,screaming out the answers to his internal questions

What about...what about kacchan?

It was a last ditch attempt but something was better than nothing?

He scoffed

Why in the ever living FUCK did his brain make him think of kacchan????? The boy who had caused him all his pain,whod put him in this position

It was at this moment that izuku made up his mind.

He wipped away his tears with the sleeve of his shirt and smiled

“Fuck him”

And with that he let himself fall

He didnt feel fear or panic

Just calm

And as the air rushed past his face he closed his eyes feelin at peace for what felt like the first time in forever.

It was a pity it couldn’t last long......

Meanwhile katsuki bakugou was exiting his alma mater.

He had his backpack slung over one shoulder and there was an itch in the back of his neck

Thats when he started hearing it

The angry rage-filled screaming

He looked around and then when he heard it again he looked up

And his already-pale face whitened further

It was...DEKU and he was screaming from the school roof

Katsuki suddenly remembered the words he’d said to the other boy just that day and guilt and dread gathered in the pit of his stomach

He tried to shout to izuku,tellin him not to be stupid, to come down

His eyes began to fog up as each of his attempts failed and before he could think of anything else to do,anyone else to call

Deku jumped

Katsuki lunged forward in a last attempt to save his...friend

But before he could even move a muscle

Deku lay on the ground,bloodied and broken...

And katsuki fell to his knees and cried

Hed never cried

Not once and never in public

But

This was different

This was HIS fault

“DEKU WAKE UP! WAKE UP YOU FUCKIN PIECE OF SHIT COME ON WAKE UPPPPP”

And when izuku didnt move

When he didnt make a sound

Katsuki gave up

Hed never given up NEVER

But

He just couldnt...

He lay his head on the broken boy’s chest and said his last words to him

“Im sorry...i-i need you deku”

And when still no answer came he died a little inside too.

please dont repost my work here as your own on any platform all rights belong to me except that of the characters used,their right belong to their respective owners.but these stories? mine.

feedback,likes,reblogs and comments are so very appreciated tbh :’)i hope you enjoyed and ill catch ya next time!

Comments & Reblogs w/ tags >>>>>>>>>>>likes please

[electrificata]

having music critic thots abt the weeknd im so so sorry

i saw the weeknd in concert last summer, it was amazing. i really dont like stadium shows usually, but his was killer, he had a cool stage concept (gently mad max-ish cult leader and his dancer-disciples, giant inflatable moon) and he's got the presence to fill up all that space. and ive been listening to him for almost a decade, obviously the music's there. actually the show i was at was where he debuted the trailer for the idol. its out now and i havent watched yet. i thought it looked cool then, but after everything ive heard.....im just really ambivalent.

in the early days, when he was keeping mysterious, no press, no photos, you didnt even know if the weeknd was a band or a guy. just this chilly, atmospheric, sleazy/sexy horror-movie r&b. nothing supernatural. but cruel. the lyrics were all about the worst kind of fuckboy shit, and obviously drugs, and the music really seemed to give proper weight to it. the speaker in the songs was awful, the music was telling you that his actions were violent and terrifying for the women he's hurting and for toxic for himself. if youre a person attracted to men, you know what its like to see how awful a guy can be and still be into him, maybe even BECAUSE of how awful he is. thats a fucking horror movie. those first xo eps are crazy, i still listen to them.

then he goes pop star. i remember the collab w/ ariana grande in 2014 was surprising but it found a perfect, plausible midpoint between their two universes. then he goes full max martin in 2015 with "can't feel my face" and again, bizarre to see this plausible way for the prince of darkness to get to the top 40 via a neo-michael jackson jam with a veiled drug reference as opposed to multiple explicit ones. but it made sense! he danced onstage now! i remember hearing it on the radio when i was picking my cousins up from middle school, that felt surreal.

and he just kept on doing the popstar thing. i dont think the sleaze ever really left, it just receded into the background. killer atmosphere, more pop hooks, a general darkness that felt credible coming from him because of the early stuff, its just lit with neon now. he gets increasingly more conceptual, which i love. i love a concept album. its still about fucked up relationships and now death more generally instead of drugs specifically. cool, great. i've been with him the entire time. that brings us up more-or-less to the present.

im not gonna recap all the shit around the idol, if you want it im sure theres an article or youtube video thatll do a better job than i can. ill just summarize my own thoughts: it feels like the sleaze is back, maybe some of the horror, but also Glamour. johnny depp's supermodel daughter has cum on her face. we're seeing headlines about how gross the sex scenes are. look how Glamorous this is. classic showbiz trick of using a cautionary tale about gross men preying on women to just....create images and narratives about gross men preying on women. this might be the place i cant follow him. i cant rule out watching it, i am a habitual hater and i might be in the mood to hate soon. but its making me think about the way we use glamour and beauty in entertainment. it cant be a default, it has an effect on the story.

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

ok. i took a long, long time (song ref) but hi!!!!!!!!!

1. titanic fic (*cue shit-eating grin*). umum. im curious if there's anything about the morse code yet. or codes in gen actually. so. sentences with the word "code" :3

2. titanic vid!!!! Idk if you like the engineering aspects, but there still were a ton of other facts sprinkled in (spiral staircases, people that monitored coal balance, separate staff room for firemen, how they got air down there etc) https://youtube.com/watch?v=4begc_U8ygI#searching

3. surprise!! this is an interview. i have some Official Author questions for you (feel free to pick and choose, come back to this later, or just striaght up ignore lol):

3a. Do you have any authors (professional or not) that you aspire to be like one day?

3b. Following that up, are there any specific works (again, published, professional, etc or just amazing amateur works!!) that really inspire you?

3c. What made you start writing? I'm curious on anything that led to the conscious decision, of course, but additionally do you think there was anything you grew up with that "planted the seeds"? Was it any of the people from question 3a?

3d. What's the silliest (/pos) idea you've ever had for a fic? If you didn't write/publish it, why not? Was it a recent thing? If not, do you think your experience would have influenced that idea today?

if those dont make sense u can send me a messgae or something 👍👍👍 goodnight

ITS BEEN THREE DAYS but im here okay……. lets do this. hi pep :>

1) alas, i’ve been focusing on a lot of other things so i havent reached a written point of the Code Usage, which begins in like chapter 3-4. sorry man 💔 (progress has been made ! just not as much as i’d hope 😭)

2) FUN FACTS?!??!??!??!!?!!? IM WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY RN BUT IM YOINKING THIS RIGHT AFTER YIPPIE!!!!!!!!

3a) uhmmmmmmmm i dont exactly pay attention to authors as much as i pay attention to books but you know what. rick riordan. not because of anything he’s done or written but because of his audacity to write 20+ books in the same universe and still get 100000000000000 people 1000000% invested in it. i wanna write sequels forever. can i be him

3b) OHHHHHHHH UHM UHM UHM UHM the thing that got me into fanfic specifically was the fic “versability” (it was a gf fic about ‘what if ford never made the portal’, written like 2015-16, and yeah i did know of and even read a bit of fic beforehand but i was never into it) but just READING ? the land of stories by chris colfer, easy. mmmmmmmmm that was my fucking Thing. if i wasnt a baby at that time i would have WROTE. SO. MUCH. GOOD GOD. IT WAS MY THING. THE THING THAT GOT ME INTO NOVELS. URGH. alex my iconic mentally ill bisexual, conner my precious cynical boy. i need to read those again my GOD now i think about it that was fairytale fanfiction that happejed to bepublished and ohhhhh it was beautiful. im gonna read jt . iM GONNA DO IT!!!!

3c) in writing in general or just fanfic? for fanfic its that one day i had an gf fic idea (that i had to heavily revise/rewrite, but it did end up getting out eventually) that i hadnt read anything like it, and i wanted to see it. decided: hey, im shit at writing, but might as well!!!!!! 65k words later, its not a joke anymore. im a Writer now :) but as for in general, well ofc reading books. people told me in the past im creative and should get into book writing if you like reading so much. i decided well im gonna do it professionally, but might as well do something tiny, so i well uh wrote. im not gonna tell you but it certainly was Something. classic isekai mary sue dramatic plot hybrids etc etc etc but actually the queen the mc is “related” to is actually polyam and was in a relationship with both their dad and their mom and the big villain is the queen’s sister who’s pissed that both of her lovers ditched her for the human world (but actually they had to break up because because the society was not polyam friendly. there just happened to be a war after that). everything else was basic isekai except for that little crumble of lore. the queen was a bisexual. the dad was a pansexual. the mom was a lesbian. i think i ate there to be honest

3d) mmmmmm i gotta think. there was definitely a gf x amphibia au where ford got ploped in amphibia and the plantars IMMEDIATELY stole him and wrapped him up in their adventures right when the plot starting becoming a thing (early season 2). there’s one where stan and ford just….. climb a tree. it’s laced with a lot of philosophical talks straight from good omens knowledge but ultimately its just goody fun. mmmmm theres one where gabriel has no idea what crowley looks like, but he DOES know what Bildad The Shuite looks like, itd be tiny but so so so so funny. the gf/gomens crossover…..a human au based on that one tumblr post about a necromancer bringing people back from the dead to fuck with the killer and opening a discord support group….. the s1 humans + aziraphale being the victims, crowley the necromancer, and the s2 humans being the nosy outsiders who Notice things happens but can never say shit. oughhhh……… Yeah. yeah, thats good. most of these are recent except 4 the amphibia one, wouldnt change much about it even with the shit i know now EXCEPT being able to handle the relationships/emotions between the characters better, ive certainly gotten better at it and i love it. i havent published any bc either i started but couldnt finished, or just thought it was neat and moved on to plop it in the ideas folder and wait 4 inspiration.

OKAY THATS A LOT BUT THERE YOU GO sorry for the wait, man. you’re my best cupperty you know that right 🫵 ANSWERS!!!!! and ill work on titanic as fast as i can, it hasnt been forgotten !! i just gotta mow the grass….. (“short” fic wips)

[sapphorrific]

summer book diary 2023

this is just my general big post about books i read this summer plus a bit of my thoughts! a bit like my personal goodreads comment section exept other peoples bad takes only make me angry. if i ever have a take that makes you angry im really sorry:(

june

Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov | my first venture into the genre of magical realism! fun and whimsical but not only that! the writing and story structure was just captivating and as someone who normally does not resonate with religious themes in the context of this book being written by a Soviet author, it felt natural and magical indeed, an act of rebellion against a totalitarian regime.

A little life by Hanya Yanagihara | i feel like this was falsely advertised to me as 'a booktok book about traumatized college friends that makes you cry' and i cannot stress how much this book was not that. i mean there was a group of college friends but the story focused mainly on only one of them. they did have trauma but i never expected the ammount of it. and i did cry a little bit once but i mostly felt angry. and i absoluthely understand why is it so controversial among people since i dont think anything can prepare you for experiencing a little life in its 600 page entirety. my feelings about this book are extremely mixed, on one hand i dont regret picking it up however i never want to read it again. the book felt like how i imagine watching a child torture small animals feels. absolute psychological warfare of a text. if you are sensitive to any sort of triggers i recommend looking them up before you read this. i do not want to label it as 'problematic' or say it was overall bad tho. it really did make me feel strong emotions and i think it really captured the helplessness and complicated emotions of watching someone close to you really struggle and refuse to get help. it does explore the themes of abuse, illness and addiction but also friendship, found family and love. also everyone who read this and went ah yes this is a hurt/comfort gay love story literally what is wrong with you how do you read this book and proceed to go make moodboards

july

Prague Spring by Simon Mawer | i feel like this book would be a better experience if i knew next to nothing about prague spring since it is written by a british author about events taking place in czechoslovakia in the 60's from a point of view of two young british hitchhikers and a british diplomat. so i really felt like im not the target audience here. the decision to tell the story from the point of view of foreigners was an interesting one, however i also had to witness with my own two eyes how the author described czech women. the brithish female characters are described as dainty and traditionally beautiful but the czech women always had a 'square slavic jawline' or an uneven face or something. the characters overall felt flat and the plot itself was not well executed since it essentially ended with the invasion of czechoslovakia and the evacuation of the main characters back to the uk. the book laid a heavy focus on the romantic relationships of the characters which, since the characters were one dimensional, felt one dimensional as well. a very mediocre experience for me, if you want to learn about the prague spring and are a foreigner maybe this would be of value for you but, i would probably not suggest you read this

Another Country | James Baldwin even though i did learn about american classic literature in high school, unfortunately my high school (and the czech curriculum in itself i think) does not put much emphasis on classic literature written by afroamerican writers so i have never really heard of james baldwin until i saw someone recommend this in a youtube video and honestly loved it! it really had all the things i was hoping it would have, the complexity, nuance, incredible characters who feel like living breathing people and last but not least the atmosphere of new york in the 50's and early 60's. definitely the kind of book i would read multiple times and this is not the last time i read something by james baldwin either. really recommend!

The Handmaid's Tale | Margaret Atwood quite uncomfortable to read but that was obviously the point. nevertheless, read it in one day since it was very hard to put down. i liked that it did not shy away from showing women actively participating in keeping other women in a patriarchal society in check. what i found a little limiting about handmaids tale is the lack of incorporating racial dynamics into what was essentially a dystopia based on the control of womens bodies, eugenics and religion which of course affect women of color differently than white women, therefore in that direction the book felt a little one dimensional. still i feel that its an important book to read

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid | oh boy heres when the unpopular opinions come i really thought this book was very mid. a fine beach read you pick up at the airport to read on a holiday but i feel that its a little overrated. the story focused of a journalist interviewing a fictional holywood actress at the end of her eventful life, and it promised me an unpolished view of complicated womans life. i felt like i was already reading the published biography the main objective of which was for me to still like evelyn hugo and fondly remember her legacy as a beloved movie star even though she does not even exist. i feel like the choice to tell a story of a fictional celebrity provides a way to really delve into the rotten world of hollywood and show its ugly uncomfortable side. shows like bojack horseman or hacks take advantage of this. but i dont think this book attempts to do this in any shape or form. sure, she admits to doing one extremely fucked up thing which affects the journalist interviewing her very personally. but this is just the way to tie the plot neatly together and is not really explored in depth or properly dealt with. there is also the question whether we as a reader can trust evelyn hugos account of her own life, as she is the only one alive to tell it. i feel like seven husbands of evelyn hugo had a lot of potential, which it ultimately did not deliver on for me. if mild enrichment is the kind of book you want to go for rn i think it serves a purpose in that way

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russel | as much as evelyn hugo did not deliver my dark vanessa deliveredd!! a really captivating story of a imperfect victim of child abuse within a teacher student relationship. really shows how this kind of experience can haunt a person their entire life even if they refuse to believe they are not a victim in the first place. even though it covers a difficult subject, it really does go through the whole process of denial and acceptance so it does not leave a reader absoluthely hopeless and it does feel like the author did her research and did not write this as a sort of traumaporn but with care for the victims of this kind of abuse.

august

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov | i was inspired to read lolita (and my dark vanessa for that matter) after listening to the lolita podcast by jamie loftus which really felt like a good introduction before reading lolita itself as it covers not only the book but lolita as a cultural phenomenon by which i mean everything from the movies to the tumblr nymfette/coquette subculture. it gives a great context for the story and i really recommend listening to this podcast first as it helped me to better navigate the book as someone who did not know that much about it prior. it really is a complex multilayered text with a great ammount of references, anagrams and double meanings, there is an unreliable narrator manipulating you with his stunning flowery language and seemingly self aware sarcastic humor and on top of that it is a book about child abuse. so it really is a lot. still an unforgettable experience, had to rush through it as it made me sick to my stomach, truly an icredible read. kudos to the czech publishers for the new cover design of the book its really beautiful and honors the authors wishes.

[scatterpatter]

Mnnngh art vent under the cut

I really miss when art was easy for me. It used to come so, so easy, even though I'd say my art wasn't as good as it is now. Like I'd def say I've improved, but its so much harder to get art out now than it used to be

I look back at the art I used to make and I seriously lament how easy it was. Even if it was just doodles, I could get so many out, I remember back in like 2019 i could often get at least one doodle out a day and it felt great. It was my outlet, my way I connected with others, the way I shared ideas and made stories, and now I feel that outlet has been practically severed and it really, really hurts

Artfight def hurts the worst. I was so excited for this year, so ready to reconnect with a lot of my friends and bond over silly AF attacks, and it was genuine! I didnt have any big plans this month other than just doing my job so I was so happy to do this. July last year was awful, I was in a horrifically abusive situation and that abuse reached its peak last July, I was in a bad bad place. But I've completely cut that abuser from my life and I'm in a much better space, so I really thought this July would be me turning things around

But as soon as I got a lot of attacks, I just- fucking shut down. I kept thinking on how much "make up revenges" I'd have to do and it got to the point where I'd get overwhelmed every time I picked up my tablet. What became "Hehe can't wait to make art for my friends!" Quickly spiralled into "Oh god I need to do so many revenges I cant keep up", and it just made me catatonic and I hate that. And the worst is that I know no one's exepcting me of anything, I dont have to revenge everyone, its all for fun- I know its just this expectation im putting on myself and im the only one disappointed in myself but I just cant stop how catatonic its left me and its really tough to deal with because ive only done 1 attack so far. Ive spent the entirety of July going "shit i need to work on attacks. Its ok ill do it later." And now its July 31 and ive only done one. I set a goal of doing at least ten. I thought ten wouldve been manageable, but I just cant do what I used to do and it really really hurts

And I keep being told that Im having a hard month. That works been stressful and working 40hr a week leaves me with significantly less free time than I had back in college, so of course i have less time/energy for art, but it still hurts because I dont. Feel like work has been that bad. Yeah its been bad but ive dealt with horrific stress before and ive handled it fine. I feel like if I go "its been a rough month" ill be saying that every month. And i dont want that. Im really healing and im getting in better places, I feel like still struggling this much doesnt feel "right". Hell my therapist just told me that i might be in remission or partial remission for my major depressive disorder. Like I have a professional telling me im getting better but I still struggle to do something that came so easily and it hurts really really badly.

Im gonna see what i can do for last minute attacks. Might not be great attacks, but i want to see if i can get something, anything out. It just hurts because i had so many ideas for my friends and I dont know what Ill be able to do for them and I feel horrible. I feel severed from them and from my main outlet of connecting with others.

And i know its just a sign of burnout or art block or mental illness or what the fuck ever. But I feel like ive been making too much progress in myental health to be struggling this hard. I love making art and i love artfight and sharing art with my friends but as soon as I try, I go completely catatonic and its really really hard because i used to be able to do this so easily and i want it to be easy again but I dont know what im doing wrong to still be struggling this hard

Idk bottom text

[rigil-kentauris]

When you get this you have to put 5 songs you actually listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favourite followers!! here ya go!!

OH NO JUST 5????

lets see

hm. im going to take the definition ACTUALLY LISTEN TO and translate that to listen with a capital L, put that song on and melt into mattress, listening to that song is a Task.

1. Nothing Left To Say/Rocks Imagine Dragons EXCEPT i dont listen to rocks i do not like it. i got this album for free back when google play music was new enough to coax people with free music if you can believe that. anyway this song is too big to listen to while walking. i will listen to it while driving but i think i shouldnt. its very. hm.

its very sad. it reminds me of people ive left behind. and places i cant go back to. situations that are over without a choice or chance of reprieve. sometimes it just be like that.

but as sad as it is i think lots of parts of this song are also hopeful. the chorus is entirely about giving up, but ever verse ends with i keep pushing on. i think the idea that you keep pushing on and on is the kind of hope that makes all the sad worse. the first time i wrote a piece of fluff, coming off of a solid career of angst, the person i was writing with was like, see, now that they are happy, you can make them even sadder! because once, they were happy! and i think this song is a bit reverse of that. things suck, and you keep going. theres nothing left to say about it.

anyway, i think this song says about me that i am depressed but what is new there. my favorite line is all of them. god ive decided to pick lines. so i would say that. despite liking individual lines more, i think my favorite line is when it goes

But I keep pushing On and on and on and on

or when it goes and instead of but. i think it contrast is what makes the song powerful. im tired, and im lost, and everything hurts, and im giving up but im still going. im falling but im pushing on. theres nothing i can do and nothing i can say. im pushing on. what a very modern tragedy. ill stop now before i go in circles.

grumpy side note. i think If you could only save me/I'm drowning in the waters of my soul… could be improved. this whole song has been internally driven until then, and then the song gives the spotlight moment to a desperate wish that someone else could save me/us/you. pah.

also fuck rocks. im sorry if someone reading this is a rocks liker but i am not.

2. Well now that we've got a a bog standard answer I'll put All My Friends by LCD Soundsystems for the umpteenth time. I won't make everyone sit through this ramble again. I think this song also says about me that i am a depressed zillenial.

i genuinely cant pick a single line. if im picking one part then that means im not picking another

in general i think this whole song is. regrets and nostalgia bound together. lives youve lead. mistakes youve made. people who have come apart from you just as it is. losing yourself to the grind but also living. this whole verse is

It comes apart The way it does in bad films Except the part Where the moral kicks in Though when we're running out of the drugs And the conversation's grinding away I wouldn't trade one stupid decision For another five years of life

And its like. life is coming apart. we're coming down of the life of living and being young and being in the moment. theres no moral to this story. just entropy. and despite that. despite all that. i wouldnt give any of it away. everything has lead me here and i- i am not just happy with that. i wouldnt take five more years worth of chances in exchange for the one shot to change what ive been

i think its pretty aspirational

theres another song i like to listen to that has a theme of even the mistakes weren't really mistakes at all. i think. eh. i think these aspirations are useful. i think we can find happiness even if the past is sad.

anyway all of these are my favorite lines. this is another one i listen to in the car even though i shouldnt.

3. DID I SAY STOP BEING MAUDLIN I MEANT START HARDER. Wide Open - Chemical Brothers after about a million hours listening time i am becoming slightly immune to this one though.

tbh the lyrics arent particularity striking to me but the whole combination of everything is just MAGICAL. plus theres like four whole words in the song. but since ive decided to make myself pick lines, im going to go with the chorus Slow me down/It's getting away from me

4. OH OH. OH I WANT TO PUT. Hm. I think this might not count but i've written almost an essay about this one and i listen to it critically so I think it fits the definition of Listen listen to. Truth Despair and Hope, FE8, Saki Haruyama, Yoshihiko Kitamura, Yoshito Hirano. im mentally ill about this song re: how it blends storytelling and music.. i'll tell you how ill i am about this song i dug up my exhiled FE blog (nobody @ me there i wont see it) to find what i wrote about it [long eyes emoji post with timestamps][a shorter post that i DID NOT FINISH ELABORATING ON???? but i think is more insightful and important analysis of the story/song meld]

anyway. its not like. a song on my playlists. its just like the only music ive every done serious analysis on voluntarily and because i once said if this song was a person i'd marry it. also help i managed to avoid putting any of these songs on while writing and now ive failed and i cant turn it off. im worked up about this again. its about teh WEAVING OF THREE DISPARATE TALES EACH ALIKE IN MEANING EXCEPT WHEN VIEWED THROUGH THE LENS OF THE OTHER. WHO IS TRUTH? WHO IS DESPAIR? WHO IS HOPE? WHO IS WORKING THAT SICK ASS BASS LINE? THIS SONG AND ITS TRIO OF PARTS (okay i count four in several parts but yknow) HAUNT ME

this one doesnt have lyrics so i cant have a favorite one. my favorite part i think would be the bass from 0:30-0:45

5. there are better candidates for 5, but i spent a week on internal debating and if i dont pick a 5 im never going to. in the spirit of something more cheerful than the prior, im picking Where the Streets Have No Names which is by U2. so, for reasons i wont get into, i have been flying on planes regularly for most my life. this is my Plane Song. i dont listen to it very often because like. the atmosphere. has to be: you are squished into your window seat. its fucking BAKING hot because the sun in magnified on you. it is also FREEZING because youre on a plane. you are squished like the sardine with a stranger and your leg hurts from playing the cant touch anyone anxiety game. and youre tired from getting up early or staying up late and youre unrelated, slightly dozy because the whole process is a stress and theres the tremendous white noise of the massive engines leaking in through your very worn earbuds. and theres the minute vibrations of your tiny metal tube, and you are looking out the baking hot window and there are clouds and clouds and clouds and SUN. and you are nowhere in the world on your way to somewhere else. and it doenst matter if thats a good somewhere or a bad somewhere. your in the Sky now. and it is beautiful

anyway i havent flown lately as you might imagine. plague and all that.

im going to cheat and pick two lyrics. We're still building then burning down love/Burning down love because i like it and i like how it sounds in the song. i like the sound more than the next lyrics but i like the next lyric better, which is And when I go there/I go there with you/It's all I can do

im very disappointed i couldnt sneak in a complextro song or one of the glitchy ones. but tbh i listen to those because they distract half my brain, allowing me to focus. they arent really for Listening listening to.

--------

okey i know several of yall do NOT like tag games and i cant remember who right now so i will wait on tagging. but if you want to do it please tag me and i will skedaddle over and give some songs a listen!