#i feel like i don’t exist

[jassyx]

I wish my praise, love, and compliments made you feel as special as what you think it would if it came from someone those other guys.

[goodluckdetective]

Look, this is what moral OCD is like for me:

I walk past a piece of paper. I don’t pick it up because I had a long day at work and it’s very cold outside. This then becomes my internal monologue:

I didn’t pick up that piece of paper, I should have. Don’t I care about the environment? It’s not my trash, I shouldn’t have to pick it up. But also that’s how these things happen right? We place the blame on others as our environment degrades. It was just a piece of paper, it’s not like it can do that much damage. But also how do I know: I’m not an environmental expert. Maybe stray paper scraps are killing the frogs. You’re literally killing the frogs. You should look up how many frogs die a year so you know how shitty you are-No stop it.

I care about the environment, and I recycle and I joined green activism movements but is that enough? I could be doing more. I should be doing more. I should donate my entire check to charity. But isn’t it self serving to think that my one check could help that much? Do I really think I’m that important, how self entitled and-no stop it, reset! You are obsessing and if you fall for it, you will not eat dinner. Let it go.

Okay it’s just a piece of paper. It’s okay you skipped it this once: it could have had something dangerous on it. Yeah that makes sense. But also, that means I’m putting my own safety over trying to help the environment, which is very selfish of me. I’m just one shitty person: god how could I be so self absorbed. I should have picked up the piece of paper. I’m so selfish, and shitty and-no, no, stop it! This is not helpful. It’s fine.

It’s been a long day and I’m cold, that’s not a crime- no that’s being selfish again, you’re making excuses. You’re just a lazy piece of shit who doesn’t care about others, and selfish and God the fact you’re thinking this much about one piece of paper shows how selfish you are, you care more about if you’re a good person than anything else, you’re a piece of shit, you’re a piece of shit, YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT.

I get home and open up Tumblr. The first post I see says “if you don’t reblog this post about the environment you’re as complicit as an oil billionaire.” I close my computer and resign myself to looking up the state frog populations until I go to bed.

I don’t eat dinner.

The amount of frogs that die a year is somewhere from 200 million to over 1 billion.

[stuckinapril]

I love Tumblr because nothing matters here truly. There are no influencers. Having followers doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a site where people post their sporadic thoughts and rb pretty pictures. Anyone who thinks any of this matters is woefully missing the point

[dagasinfilo]

dreading tomorrow honestly :)

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

Not to be all “I listen to Taylor Swift in a deeper and intellectual way” meme but I am seeing some people just not getting this album at all and I am a bit surprised by it.

[derangedhunk1]

derangedhunk1 is IN your house please cook me a meal

[karalovesallthegirls]

Also have another “first words spoken to you are on your skin” soulmate AU idea where Kara is a journalist assigned to shadow the controversial CEO of L-Corp for the day. It’s a big deal for her to get this assignment, so of course she trips the second she’s near the other woman and tries awkwardly to redeem herself.

The CEO stares at her almost in shock, and then says nothing. At all. Ever, for the entire day.

Kara spends hours following Lena Luthor around trying to fill the silence, but no amount of questions get her to talk. Lena almost seems to be running away at some points - like she’s trying to lose her? - and the few times she’s managed to catch her actually talking to someone she goes silent the second she sees Kara.

She asks around if Miss Luthor is usually like this and everyone looks at her like she’s crazy. Apparently she’s the only one who gets the silent treatment. By the end of her first day shadowing she’s walking away with half a page of observations and not a single quote. Miss Grant is going to kill her.

But that’s okay. It’s fine, this isn’t over. She has four days of shadowing ahead of her and she’ll be damned if she doesn’t finish this with a quote from the woman herself. It’s only a matter of time.

[feral-bunnie]

why do the identity crisis and feelings of dysphoria always happen to me when i’m at work i’m 🙃 just trying to have a good day like ???

[weirdglassthing]

Oh yeah another ouaw doodle dump 🗣️🗣️

Ft some gender swapped Gideon and kremys (kremy is wearing a wig I swear im not stupid Ik she wouldn’t be able to grow hair 🙏🙏)

Also gideons shirt in the first one was one of my friends ideas

[ariariari-freehounreal]

When the test subject they told you was aggressive is actually just angsty and autistic

.

I figured if Wheatley were a human he would probably be part of a team that cares for test subjects. Which involves basic medical checkups and general wellness checks. Maybe in Chells case, since she’s so anti-social, he was tasked to be a sort of companion so they could get more information out of her for testing purposes. :3 he’s classified as a nurse and has basic training in it. But he’s not making sense because he’s kinda scared of Chell at first. She just thinks he’s weird and kinda smells bad.

.

I have a hc on why Chell is a test subject I’m just gonna try to write it here

Basically her mother was too young and poor to raise a child so she felt it better to put Chell up for adoption. The orphanage she was raised in was being used by aperture to scout out children with certain “exceptional skills”. They noticed that Chell was highly intelligent and a great problem solver, but had no interest in spending time with others. She had no friends. And none of the other children noticed or cared when she left. She was probably adopted by a high ranking scientist and raised for the specific purpose of testing. She has little concept of social norms or things outside of aperture because she was taken from a “normal” environment so young. [like. Before she was 10 maybe? Idk.] but it doesn’t mean she’s dumb or anything, she just doesn’t really get it yk. Sorry if this is actually so stupid and embarrassing ignore me

[pearlsdiamondsandvodka]

the sandra lynn / fig conversation is driving me Insane. fig saying that sometimes she doesn’t wanna exist as herself at all…not wanting to ask her friends how they see her (because she’s afraid to hear their response) saying that to someone she is a monster and she Cannot stop thinking about it. sandra lynn starting the conversation saying she needs to step up but is also simultaneously taken aback about what fig expresses and doesn’t know how to responds to it and suggests getting ice cream. sandra lynn saying “convincing people they deserve good things is really tough” talking about herself but how it also reflects fig. insane!!

[blue-mood-blue]

I can pinpoint the moment that destroyed my life today:

It’s been a handful of weeks since Murderbot came within inches of having a new, organic governor module implanted in its head via infection - do you think, maybe, that’s also been hiding behind the redacted? Not the way everything else is, just as a deep-seated reminder of what it can’t afford to lose?

What a way to be told “I love you” - to be told “I will not lose you, I will not let go, I will do the hard part of holding on even if you don’t want me to”

[ironunderstands]

Ngl I feel like some ratiorine artists don’t like or care about Dr. Ratio at all

Like I don’t really want to shit on the reverse lane because there is appeal there and most of you guys are chill, but it’s really annoying when you’re looking for Aventio/Ratiorine fanart and like… they just don’t understand Ratio for shit.

I don’t mean minor things either, I mean making him the embodiment of this image

Idk at this point some of yall should just make OCs because I’m kinda tired of 1/2 of a ship I like getting their character microwaved because people like Aventurine significantly more than him so they just turn Ratio into some stereotypical shitty bl webtoon top because actually taking 5 seconds to make sure he’s in character doesn’t matter to people who don’t give a shit about him anyways.

I’m not really asking for a change, like do what makes you happy ig, but I’m just annoyed and laying my grievances out because goddamn is this a pattern I am sick and tired of.

Badly characterized Ratio already makes me tweak out, but when it’s your own community man 😞 like yall were supposed to get him why are we here.

Also I want to rant about how fucking gross and downright evil the slavery fetishizing content is but that’s a more serious conversation for another time.

[owl-bones]

What is the dust who is a assassin for Heilos like?

cynical but much mellower than you’d expect, since Helios keeps him levelled out with positivity. when his LV does become too much to handle anyway, he’s sent out on missions to get rid of dissidents. he doesn’t like being ordered around and finds Helios incredibly grating and hates all the admiration he gets… but also Dust sticks around with his head down for the free food, shelter, and the secret hope that making AUs positive by Helios’ orders will repent for all the bad he’s done. he’s only good for killing, right? so he may as well use that for the “greater good”. but if you ask he’d definitely imply it’s just for the LV.

[catdoingblep]

[erynalasse]

I wonder when the Noldor looked around at their dwindling numbers and realized that they were dying faster than they could ever keep up with.