#i feel like i giffed this scene before but i can't find it lol

[smittenskitten]

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Friday everyone! Doing today cause I shall be doing 5x01 On Sunday like I mentioned before to not be posting on Christmas. :) Holy crap we’re on the S4 finale. I remember when I watching it when it premiered thinking is this real life? Thought I was in a fever dream haha Made some long gifs to fit everything in LOL This one is super packed also this ep doesn’t need much more of an intro. So let’s get this party started.

4x22 Day in The Hole

Our fav patch work family gets the cold open. This moment truly is Tim and Lucy in mom/dad mode. Makes me so damn happy. Tim complaining because Tamara is late to meet them. Moaning on and on saying they have to go... but makes no effort to actually move or leave. Because the both of them have Tim wrapped around their finger. That man isn't moving but will complain the whole time about it LOL Lucy going into wifey mode calming him down saying she’ll be here. Relax. ha

Tamara pulls in and almost hits someone. In a police station parking lot... Their reactions I’m dying. Just a couple of concerned parents watching their kid almost cause an accident. Lucy is a proud mom as she pulls up. Clapping her hands. Tim looking like the stern father. He glares at the car wanting to see if this car is safe enough for her. This is a glimpse into them as parents. I’m liking what I see. Also can I say how cute it is Lucy wants Tim to look at her car in first place. Of course he said yes.

Tamara comes out and says isn’t she pretty? Saying it’s her first car. Lucy correcting her saying actually her car was her first. Tamara makes a joke about it being her fifth if they’re talking stolen. Tim has such a dad moment. ‘What?’ She loves to push their buttons it’s hilarious. Telling Tim it's a joke. Just loves messing with her pseudo mom and dad. Lives for it really. This is a fantastic way to start this episode off.

The family energy in this scene giving me all the feels. Lucy telling her to get it checked by the mechanic first. That you never know what cars from seized police auction go through. Tamara says Tim set her up with his guy already. Lucy is beaming about this. Says ‘Awww you do have a heart.’ ha Tim can't be seen as soft so he deflects.

But you are soft for both your girls Tim…This much is obvious ha You're a soft little puppy for them. I mean it's only for them but a marshmallow none the less. His reply is sassy af. Saying it’s purely out of self interest. He didn’t want to deal with Lucy being a drag with her dying in a mangled fireball of metal on the 405. The scoff/look Tamara shoots his way is hilarious. Tim fires back ‘Joke.’

Like Father like daughter and I’m dying with the cuteness in this cold open. Also Tim mirroring her posture from when she said 'Joke' to him. LMAO Unfortunately a drug sniffing dog starts barking at the car. Tim opens the hatch back and searches it. Find kilos of drugs hidden in the compartment. Tamara looks so sad. ‘I’m not getting my car back am I?’ Hahaha Sorry my dear you are definitely not…

Lucy looks up who the car is registered to. It's ‘Jake Butler.’ Lucy pulls up his mug shot and is confused as hell. Ahhhh the beginning of Dim it’s glorious. They pick up his doppelgänger and it's pretty amusing. Didn’t have room for that portion but his ‘Yo, why you looking like me?’ LOL Kills me. They get him into interrogation and the girls are having a field day with it. Enjoying Tim's discomfort so very much. Tim isn’t about this whatsoever of course.

Lucy says maybe they were separated at birth? Tim replies he’s a year older than him and was born in FL. You can see how unsettling he finds this. Tim tries to brush this off. Saying he doesn’t look that much like him. Ok honey… Angela saying he’s not the brightest bulb. Lucy gets excited and says ‘Tim and Dim’ LMAO Enjoying herself far too much with this. Angela and Nyla are joining in on it laughing with her. They aren't helping tamp down her excitement about this at all.

Tim calling Jake 'Dim' is hilarious. Lucy's face when he does is too cute. Also It cracks me up the minute they enter interrogation Dim hits on Lucy. Doesn't waste any time. I’m dying. Also you know Melissa and Eric had a blast filming these scenes. They’re so funny. The cockiness on Dim saying she would remember ha! Man isn’t lacking in the confidence department that's for sure. They tell him they found his car. He gets all excited saying someone stole it LOL

They inform him it was towed cause he parked by a hydrant haha Tim confronts him about the drugs in the car and Dim denies having it. Because of course he does. His fingerprints are all over the bags. Tim says he helps them and they’ll keep him out of prison. Dim gets offended and says he thought they had a bond ha.

Lucy asks where the drugs came from? He tells them Mexico that he was supposed to drive them over the border. But then he wanted to see his girl first before he dropped them off. I.e. Juicy heh When he came back out the car was gone. Tim asks for the name of the guy they were going to. He tells them Ray Hajek. Lucy gets a look in her eye and asks if his crew ever met him? He tells them no but why? We watch Lucy light up and Tim is confused why she is so excited haha

It’s here we see Lucy’s excitement go into hyperdrive. I love this portion because she is like a kid in a candy store with this. The sugary high to go along with it LOL Grey and Angela are no help to Tim whatsoever. They are beyond amused by Lucy’s antics. Like to note how easily Tim gives into Lucy’s demands here btw. You're married you just don’t know it yet.

Once he agrees Lucy gets ultra hyper which has me cackling. I love how she stops him with her hands. Because she’s too excited to walk now. Saying all the things they need to do to get him to look like Dim. Tim pointing out she is enjoying this way too much. Duh. I love her excited speed walk to catch up to him and say he needs tattoos. Lucy was a little too excited for those tats heh She sure loves the idea of a clean cut Tim Bradford covered in tattoos.

We pan to Lucy being on the team watching Tim’s OP. Part of the rescue team if needed. Kinda nice to see her on the watching end instead of him. Being just as much the worried wifey as he is the husband for her when she does UC. He gets taken up to the boss and does a damn good job of it. They’re pissed at him first because he disappeared with their drugs. Tim saying he went to ground because he didn’t want to get caught. Trying to avoid jamming him up.

He then asks why Wisco his heavy shouldn’t throw him over the balcony? We watch Lucy and Angela tense up. Tim has this handled with his reply above though. He is shocked with his intelligent reply. Saying he heard he was dumb. Tim continues on saying he wants people to think he’s dumb. Means they underestimate him.

That answer is enough for him. Tell Tim get his cash on way out. Or he could do another job for him and triple it. Tim asks what kind of job? He won’t divulge that portion just yet. Only that it’s heavy and tomorrow. They’ll need a driver. They heard his old lady is fast. Tim makes a crack 'Sometimes too fast.' He laughs and tells him they’ll be in touch with him.

Angela catches Lucy and tells her she had Dim’s GF picked up. Lucy is like 'Ok…Wait why are you being weird?' Angela says she needs to see for herself. She is enjoying this far too much. It’s Juicy! Haha Having AU Tim and Lucy makes my soul happy ahahah Now Tim is the one enjoying himself. Lucy is in shock when she sees her doppelgänger. Angela adding in ‘I guess we know who’s going undercover with Dim.’

Tim’s taunting is funny I’m rolling. ‘Yeah Juicy.’ ‘No’ ‘Mmhmm It’s Juicy’ LOL I’m dying this is so hilarious. Not so funny when it’s your double eh Lucy? Also you know Angela was enjoying this way too much as well. Lucy’s ‘I don’t like that…’ cracks me up. She is so disturbed by having her own double. She was having fun before and now she doesn't like it. Also probably stirring some stuff up there is an AU version of them out there. Not only that but they're together.

We’ve arrived at THE scene for the episode. Tim is over at Lucy’s for OP prep. Saying the backstory has to be airtight. Lucy agrees with him and asks how they met? Tim's answer of a BBQ is vanilla as it gets. This is why she’s the UC babe LOL Lucy telling him that’s lame. I love her just being so upfront with him. She always is but there is a confidence here I love. This is her wheelhouse and Tim is just along for the ride. This is her show really and she proves that in this scene.

Tim is such a stubborn turd saying ‘You think you can do better?’ Oh Timothy you’re about to have your mind blown and your brain broken…She starts out strong saying ‘Watch me.’ Lucy rubs her hands together. Saying they met because he was on the run from the cops. Tim nodding along but not totally sold yet. Lucy continues on with he ended up in her building frantic.Looking for a place to hide.

That she was the one who opened up the door for him. That she lied to the cops for him. It's here we see Tim starts to be impressed with her backstory. That sweet smirk of his in the second gif. You know he is in awe of her right now. That smirk and head tilt is a dead giveaway. Look at how soft he looks gazing at her. Fooling no one sir.

Lucy’s confidence continues as she finishes up their backstory. It's the smug smile and direct eye contact she gives him as she delivers that line above that gets me. I watch this scene and I’m still in shock we got it. That Lucy is talking about their alter egos hooking up while the cops search for him. Thus his brain malfunctioning. Tim’s reaction is glorious. It will always make me laugh no matter how many times I see it.

Kudos to Eric for crushing it like he always does. Lucy short circuited his brain and it shows. He is having an repeated error message and failing to reboot. You can tell he’s trying to hide the fact she turned him on a little. She achieved this with her confidence through out the story and just blowing his mind right at the end. The man will never recover. He is legit speechless.

Tim was not expecting her to go there at all. She floored him while simultaneously turning him on LOL His professional brain came to a screeching halt when she finished. Also I'm sure he wasn't expecting to be turned on by just her words either. His body was not ready for such things. Good thing he’s sitting cause I’m sure his pants just got a little tighter….

Tim then remembers he has to reply to her plan now haha Trying to gain his wits about him. Telling her ‘Ok….that..that's pretty good actually.’ Pretty good? She just blew your backstory out of the water. Then proceeded to make your brain stop working. You know he’s a mixture of turned on and impressed as hell with her. Won’t say so but his face said it all for us didn’t it? He legit had his jaw drop like a cartoon hahaha

Tim is seeing she truly is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to UC holy crap. She is also basking in the fact that she crushed his plan with her own, made him speechless, and then got a compliment out of him. Lucy is feeling pretty proud of herself when she says 'Thank you.' I love seeing this confidence on her. It's a good look. Just like I'll never over Tim's growth same goes for her. To see the confident bad ass woman she is now. How far she's come. I love it seeing it.

Once Tim has some semblance of a brain back he mentions the elephant in the room. That if they’re gonna sell they're together. They’re gonna have to...You know…. Lucy knowing exactly what he’s talking about but giving him a hard time. Trying to get him to say the words. Pretending like she has no idea what he’s talking about. He continues to get flustered and stammers around. Poor Tim. He struggles with his words and stutters. He’s shocked she doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Lucy is enjoying herself far too much. Look at her face. Letting him dangle and trip over his words. Knowing talking about this is making him so very uncomfortable LOL So mean to do to your soulmate Lucy ha She finally throws him a lifeline and says we might have to PDA? Tim gets frustrated she strung him along and says never mind. Lucy stops him and says he’s right. If they’re going to kiss it shouldn’t be for the first time.

Then the awkwardness that is them pre-kiss ensues. They’re not sure what to do now…So Lucy suggests they stand up. No one does awkward better than these two. They’re so out of their depth right now. It's hysterical. I love a nervous Lucy Chen she is beyond adorable right here. The way Tim starts to lean in and she bails LOL Saying ‘No’ with a nervous giggle ejecting far away from him I’m rolling.

She totally chickens out at first and I don’t blame her. After last episode I'm sure her emotions are going haywire in this moment. Being shy because she already knows of the feelings there. That this was going to bring them out even more. Tim is about to find out himself what this kiss will reveal. Tim is exasperated and not understanding what’s going on here.

He's got a let's do this and get it over with attitude. The thing is Tim is nervous too. Look at him in that first gif. Takes a deep cleansing breath before trying to give her a kiss. He is just as nervous as she is. One thing to banter and flirt with your partner. It's another to kiss them. They’re both buzzing with nerves and it’s adorable af. Hats off to Eric and Melissa in this scene. I can feel all their anxiety and giddiness in this moment. They do an amazing job in this portion.

Tim get frustrated again and says ‘Oh, you know what? We’re professionals. Let’s just get this over with.’ Lucy’s reaction is the best part LOL Telling him 'Whoa! that’s romantic.' His childish reply of saying he wasn’t trying to be romantic LMAO OMG it’s a good thing you’re about to kiss. Because I wanna yell at them to kiss and get a room already.

Their banter is primo in this scene. Legendary really as is this entire scene. We talk about them being married a lot but never more so than before this kiss. Lucy telling him he’s succeeding and he replies with his pouty face. It’s all so hilarious to watch unfold. Lucy’s nervousness continues to shine through. Trying to reset herself as she psyches herself up to kiss him.

Tim never fails in making me laugh with his expressions and reactions. Telling her in an sarcastic tone to ‘Take her time...’ LOL Lucy trying to give herself a pep talk while Tim stands there exasperated af with her. He is so very done at this point. Just waiting her out at this point. Because he’s used to his wife antics. I love his annoyed deep sigh he let outs when she’s ready to rejoin him. The way he swings his arms in impatience lol

Tim finally leans in and gives her the most pitiful peck on the lips. He’s so proud of himself when he pulls back though. It’s pretty damn adorable if you ask me. He is expecting praise from his girl only to be demolished by her. Lucy was definitely expecting way more than what he just delivered. It's almost like she has to hold back a laugh at his lack luster attempt. Also that he thought he did a good job with it. Saying ‘I'm s...Sorry, is that it?' After all that build up just an innocent peck on the lips? Tim is so offended about her critique till she lays one on him. Effectively silencing him with a kiss. Also like to note how I love how this season started with an almost kiss and ends with an actual one. Lovely bookend.

I’ll never be over her cutting him off with her lips and grabbing him by the face. Pulling him forcefully towards her lips. *phew lord* Has his whole face in her hands while she has her way with him. I love how he stumbles into the kiss at first. If you watch him in the beginning of this gif you see him fall forward into the kiss. Wasn’t expecting that show of force from her. He needs a second to readjust his body into what’s now happening. Both of their frustrations with each other melting away once their lips touch. Takes them a moment to find their rhythm. Then it’s all about melding into one another. Fitting like the perfect puzzle pieces they low key always knew they were.

How Lucy’s right hand drops to his chest as she gets comfortable in this kiss. In his arms. Doing what comes naturally while in them. She keeps her left hand firmly on his face though. Keeping those beautiful lips of his directed at her. We watch Tim start to melt into Lucy as well. See how his body begins to relax against hers. His hand has made it's way up to her shoulder. Had this continued I have no doubt they would've swapped places from where they started. His hands continuing their journey upwards. Tim encasing her face in his hands as he continued to kiss her as if his life depended on it.

We see them start to get lost in their kiss. That argument of their's a moment ago is long forgotten. It’s such a sexy first kiss sweet lord. Tim has quickly adjusted from the beginning of the kiss. He's eased into it now and is ready to go for more. We saw him begin startled then quickly relax into her as the kiss goes on. Seems so natural like they've done this before. Reminds me of Chandler and Monica. When Joey/Rachel ask Chandler what he felt when he and Monica kissed after being friends for so long? Telling them felt like 'Why haven't we been doing this the entire time?' This kiss represents that line IMO.

Look at the way he is melting into her as he looks to deepens that kiss. He’s attached to her upper lip. We can see a little tongue too. Don't think I didn't see you slip that in Timothy heh. He is ready to take this further when their pseudo daughter walks in….I love it being Tim who deepened that kiss. Making that all important first move once again. Lucy wasn’t complaining one bit btw. Cracks me up how Tamara's first solution is to go. Let them have more time alone. I'm sure she's thought of them getting together before.

She doesn't seem terribly shocked by this so much as incredibly amused. How could she not with how they are? Then the awkward hilarity begins. I’ll never be over Lucy’s ‘Oh!’ As they fly apart from each other. Both trying to put a continent between them. It’s so damn funny. Went from hot and heavy to insanely embarrassed. The music stopping abruptly as well. Never fails to make me laugh my ass off. There is so much to love after the kiss as there is with it.

The way they scramble to explain why they were making out is priceless. Stumbling over their words and each other. Lucy trying to explain that this is 'Work' Uh huh. Sure let's call it that. Tim adding on they're going UC. Tamara is bemused to say the least. Telling them they don't have to explain themselves to her. Tim then starts looking desperately for items he didn’t bring LOL Then realizing he has nothing to gather up.

'You know what? No. I didn't bring anything...' LMFAO Flustered Tim Bradford is a joy to watch. Lucy already broke his brain earlier and then destroyed it with that kiss. You know he’s in love because that man doesn’t get flustered easily. He legit doesn’t know what to do with himself. Other than awkwardly retreat from Lucy. He is shook and it’s showing big time.

I love that he’s a complete disaster just from kissing Lucy. This entire scene is iconic and makes me so happy to watch. They awkwardly point at one another. For what reason I couldn't tell you. Other than they don't know what to do with themselves right now. The height of nervous awkwardness has arrived and I’m joyful Haha They’re both so embarrassed and flustered it’s glorious.

Lucy is flaming red after she tells Tim 'G...Good work tonight'. She is mortified she just said that to him after they made out. Tim replies in kind because he is also nervously awkward as he leaves. She can’t even look at him as he makes his hasty exit. Her back is turned to him as he departs and does another dorky finger point. Saying bye to Tamara as he does. Lucy's facial expressions are legit killing me. She then she turns around to face Tamara and it only gets worse.

Lucy has no idea what to say to being caught making out with Tim. Tamara's face in that second gif is hilarious. It's like she's giving Lucy a chance to explain herself further. Wanting to see what she'll come up with. She notices Lucy isn't in the right state of mind for answers. So Tamara saves her further embarrassment and says she’s headed to her room…Bless you. Your pseudo mother needed that LOL

We join Tim in the hallway post all of that mess haha. I once again must commend Eric and his wonderful expressions. He conveys so very much in this moment. It’s the range of emotions he expresses that is so impressive. He just nails it. This is the moment where Tim realizes his feelings for Lucy. Yes she short circuited his brain 100 percent here. But there is far more to this expression than that.

4x21 was Lucy’s epiphany episode. This is Tim’s 'Oh shit I’m in love with Lucy' moment. It’s like he finally has the answer to why he’s always felt the way he’s felt. Why he fought so hard for her not to wash out. Why he said and did things he didn’t totally understand for her. Explaining why he was so protective with her in UC. Why he was ALWAYS happier around her. Just like Lucy it’s hitting him like freight train. His feelings coming sharply into focus.

He goes from broken brain, to realization he’s in love with her, to oh shit I’m in love with my best friend...what am I going to do? The way his eye bug out a little as he comes to this conclusion is everything. That kiss cleared the skies in his brain. He can see clearly now and it scaring him a little. Everything was muddled before and now it’s clear as day. He looks back at her door before he is able to unroot himself from that spot. Tim Bradford is in love with Lucy Chen and it’s just hitting him ❤️

The awkward cuteness continues the next day. Tim is sitting in his truck with his thoughts. Probably having an existential crisis in the process tbh. I bet you he didn't sleep a wink last night either. Probably trapped in his thoughts the entire time. Also he is clearly just waiting for Lucy to appear. Which is pretty damn adorable.

He perks right up when she arrives. Makes me heart so happy actually. Giving me all the feels. He is so adorable waiting on the girl he loves so he can talk to her. They’re both so smitten at this point my heart is gonna implode. She spots him waiting in his truck. Then does her adorkable wave at him when he notices her looking at him. It's so cute I cannot. They’re both so nervous it’s beyond precious.

First off love them matching in colors. I feel this was intentional both being in light blue. Once they reach each other the air is rife with unresolved tension. They cut each other off both wanting to speak. Lucy tells him to go first. You can see Tim desperately wants to clear the air. Be vulnerable about the kiss. We see the hope on Lucy’s face as he struggles to find the words. That he is going to say that kiss unlocked something, that it was more than just a practice kiss etc.

That does seem where he is headed when he started this convo. Then our boy loses his nerve completely. Says they should work more on their backstory …You can see the sheer disappointment on Lucy’s face that he said that instead. Probably wishing she had gone first and not him. It’s ok Tim you’ll gain the courage in 5x08 don’t worry. My little awko tacos. How I love thee.

Phew lord that was daunting to write about and tackle haha The sheer volume of gifs out there for this one are immense. But damn I love their slow burn so very much and adore writing about it. Can’t believe we’re done with s4 what a trip.

~~~

Side notes-non chenford

Nolan had a SL but meh.

The only parts worth mentioning are Nell/Elroy being adorable. And how hilarious it was Pete slept through the entire fight scene for Bailey LOL

Thank you to all the readers been with me on this especially those from the very start. You know who you are :) Your likes, comments and reblogs have been a bright spot in my day shall see you all in S5 woo.

[findmeinthefallair]

As Hunter puts the work in to recover and heal, looking back on Belos's 'kindness' in offering him a staff, taking him in, and providing the opportunity to be special as the Golden Guard...will be confusing and will involve seemingly conflicting emotions.

Having that treatment from his 'uncle' was the only reference point of feeling loved, while experiencing terror deeper down. This lasted for years before he met Luz and co.

He has overall spent less time in the new framework of healthy found family, than the years in the Castle.

I was looking at scenes from a couple of movies - the Black Widow movie and also Blade Runner 2049 (spoilers for both movies ahead, obviously) - as psychology references to see how two other fictional characters recalled their confusing but significant memories.

These examples carry some big concepts, one of which is that we "recall with our feelings". Not with pure impersonal logic that neatly trims away false info and discards it. If only it were that easy to dust our hands clean this way when healing from trauma.

In Black Widow, Yelena is the character who wears her heart on her sleeve the most, like Hunter naturally does. When confronted with the revelation that her happy childhood was staged, naturally Yelena feels betrayed:

(the GIF file for above was too big so lol I just screencapped a still frame from it)

But she quickly makes a conscious decision on how she wants to view those good memories, when hearing her sister Natasha saying it was all fake. This is perhaps her most important line in the movie:

She still chose to believe it had all been real. She is actively claiming the meaning that her good childhood had provided for her. Choosing what kind of lens she'd like to view those memories through. Defending that good meaning. Because her life fell apart after that good childhood came to an end. She could choose to say it was all fake, if she wanted to see it as fake.

She confronts Melina, her (staged) maternal figure who obviously isn't her biological or even a proper adoptive mother, and says: "You are my mother. You were my real mother, the closest thing I ever had to one."

When it comes to Hunter, he wouldn't find it as straightforward to acknowledge that the times when Belos was nice to him "felt real". Would he ever want to view the late Emperor as his uncle? Not via any conscious decision, I'm sure...since he's the opposite of Yelena here. Hunter's safe haven was after he escaped the Emperor's Coven, but Yelena's haven was at the start of her life, which she wished had been permanent.

Those months of summer when Hunter spent time away from Belos in the human realm must've been so special for him. But when faced with inevitable confusing flashbacks especially after Belos's death (that involve the subconscious, not conscious, part of his mind), he's still going to feel that the Emperor was a close family member whom he had an attachment with. Belos was the closest thing he ever had to family for so long.

In the Black Widow example, Yelena felt that Melina was her mother, from an early age. Around two decades later in her young adulthood, she still feels that this is the case, and consciously still wishes for that. She was lucky to be able to reconcile with Melina in the movie.

Hunter isn't as lucky. While he recovers, I don't think he can simply dismiss what it felt like to be told that he is part of a family (even if it was a lie) in such fragile formative years:

As an example, if I had first been told at age 5 by a parent that they promised to protect me, only to find out a decade later that they actually wouldn't have ever cared if I died...I would be hella confused.

Quoting a guest lecturer from my first year of therapist training, the part of our brains responsible for reasoning and logic - the prefrontal cortex - does not begin to seriously mature until our late teen years. Which is why early childhood memories can't just be viewed by our adult selves and easily trimmed away and viewed in black-or-white as truth-or-lie. Those early years are sensitive for us all, in how they shape us later in life. That inner child is still in each of us.

Blade Runner 2049's protagonist, K, has an arc that takes a different direction: he had actual false memories implanted that were not even his own, but the theme that is consistent for this post is those memories still felt real to him, and thus affected him emotionally. He felt unfulfilled and wanted something new, to feel like he had a soul, which led him on this risky quest. Sadly, he easily believed in a lie because it matched the truth he wished for. Thus, even false memories could feel real to him because he was desperate for meaning in life.

This movie has a cyberpunk dystopian setting, so it's of course more bleak. K was made to believe so strongly in those memories because he was ultimately used as just smokescreen, to keep the real person (who had those memories) well-hidden. Below, he speaks to the memory maker who formed his false memories. She is a very skilled deceiver, and successfully engineers experiences that didn't actually happen because she inserts fragments of truth here and there.

And she makes some good points about how she succeeds at implanting false memories:

Especially the last two lines, "We recall with our feelings. Anything real should be a mess."

Linking back to Hunter, it would be a tough process to learn how to make peace with his childhood with Belos. Because anything that felt real would be a mess.

And K has a similar line as Yelena did:

The running theme I spotted is the realness of confusing memories for these characters, because their inner conflicts involve questioning themselves: whether or not they were just imagining the good feelings they felt.

While we never got confirmation whether Belos used false memories or not, I'm inclined to think he didn't...in order to work more subtly and over a long period of time on Hunter as his latest grimwalker project. The deadlier lies are the ones with many bits of truth scattered throughout their intricate webs, like what the memory maker in Blade Runner 2049 could pull off.

Belos's treatment would've felt kind to Hunter at the time. As they say, how we feel about any experience we have is "what we make of it". Or how we choose to view the experience.

I think Hunter needed to believe his uncle really was kind, while maintaining his own image, in order to keep going and survive.

This tragically meant he had to believe he wasn't doing enough.

It is always scarier for an abused child to see that their parent in fact isn't loving after all/isn't a good person, compared to imposing shame upon themselves and believing they aren't good enough.

Of course, all this would've changed by the time we get to here and beyond:

Memory is subjective and our minds are so powerful that they find evidence to seemingly confirm any kind of beliefs that we form.

All three characters in this post were cogs in a machine, reduced to being pawns in a scheme...until they later had the space to decide things for themselves.

As seen in Hunter's efforts in his Golden Guard days to be good enough in the role, Yelena taking a stand to preserve the purity of an untainted childhood (even if it was staged and not organic), K defying authority to cross a line in his duties and get answers about who he was....this is how much we as humans will clamber to grasp onto a sense of personhood, to give our lives meaning and survive the best we can.

Yelena wanted to preserve the memories of her childhood as good, as a haven or a warm fuzzy bubble to look back on, because it got torn apart before she reunited with her family many years later.

Obviously Hunter can't do exactly the same i.e. preserving the entirety of his time in the Castle as "good", since he has now been able to see that Belos was a constant threat upon his life. However, he could still look back on smaller pockets of his childhood as pleasant, by isolating those specific memories.

We have two examples in canon: the way he grins when remembering the experience of being left on top of the mountain and climbing back down. And him saying that "weekends were nice" since he tasted partial freedom by being outdoors going on missions.

In fact, he would likely start out wanting to erase his childhood, view it as entirely bad and terrible to revisit, and try to force himself to forget its significance and start afresh. But this would only worsen the unpleasant emotions associated with this time of his life that he'd rather wish had not existed.

Mental health recovery is counter-intuitive: avoiding or denying emotions tend to make them grow bigger and scarier, while letting them feel seen and heard can help them along to shrink and positively transform over time. Hunter's therapist would have to provide him with psychoeducation on this so that he doesn't feel like he's grieving wrongly. It would bring him more peace if he can acknowledge both of these seemingly conflicting truths:

Factually, Belos did lie to him and betray him.

(Here's the important part) Emotionally, if the 'kindness/love' offered by Belos felt real at the time, received by Hunter's very legit need for attachment and meaning, then yes, it was real.

Both these points can coexist. Belos's love was untrue in the factual sense (we in the audience can easily see this), yet true in the emotional sense for a young child like who Hunter was. Which is what makes it hard.

Someone would ask Hunter, "Do you think he loved you?" and the answer isn't simple. Maybe it'd be something like "He didn't, but I felt like he really did." And the second half of that sentence ("but I felt like he really did") honestly doesn't need to be changed or removed, and the grief in those words should be honoured. Belos only cared about meeting Hunter's emotional needs as a means to an end, and as strange as it sounds to say this...it did help Hunter survive long enough, however mistreated he was. Because he still clung on to meaning and a purpose in his life.

The love wasn't there in the technical sense: instead it was a twisted version of Philip's love for Caleb, not any love extended towards Hunter. But this love still felt mostly real to Hunter before he fled the coven.

And I bet that even if it was for a split-second, Belos's gaslighting of "Why are you hurting me? I only wanted to help you" felt real and true to the poor kid here:

before Hunter expressed that he knew who Belos truly was as a person: a liar.

[petrichoraline]

svt SERVED those mermen, or whatever they were going for, looks. never seen before sways, sauves and smolders. what did you like most about the mv?<3

aaaaa I'm so happy to see you in my inbox, hii🥰

this is long and rant-ish, i apologise <33

what WERE they going for, the cave and ocean scenes lead to mermen but the tarot concept was so detached from that..though if you think about it, if we're talking sirens I guess it all ties in together with the spell concept?

serve is an understatement, like you could put an idol in an outfit but you cannot make them WEAR the outfit the way it deserves to be worn. that jun fit (I can't find any gifs from the mv in the search bar yet) was made that much better because he knew how to pose and move to its benefit

chan absolutely left me speechless at his part and that outfit (though not smth im personally that big a fan of) created the interesting imagery to catch the attention which he had the task of keeping on himself AND KEEP IT HE DIDD

idk why im so happy with hao's tie dye shirt, tank top and loose pants combo, might be because it's different than the other flashy and intricate pieces or because he reaallly suits flailing oversized shirts. who knows :]

hoshi pulling out those wings had me like oh! I didn't know we were doing angels as well?? hahah, honestly I think the one thing that made me a bit uncomfortable was hoshi having a serious face on for the entire mv lol like he has the smoldering gaze and the sad expressions and I couldn't pinpoint it until now but I'm not used to seeing him like this for a whole song.. that being said, amazing presence as always

I'm still crazy about the outfits and omg the accessoriesss and jun's earring being the centre of a shot, insane

genuinely can't tell you which part is my fave because I watched it only once, I don't know what to do with myself. you know that feeling where something is so amazing you need to talk to someone about it (like quite literally yell and shake them) that watching it alone without the possibility to do that is too much..yeahh

I'm scrolling through hoshi's stories rn and a snippet came up and I started fangirling again 😮‍💨 ALSO he posted smiley photos and im laughing cause all is right again!! sorry that I can't post ss rn

I have to say my mouth was agape with the jun and hao shot, the props, the heart, the colours..beautiful, I love practical effects (if you can call it that?)..the shot of jun laying on the beach is so peaceful, I loved that as well

EDIT: I just watched it again.. im heated from punching the air im so hyped its insane

thing is this mv made me like so many things I usually don't enjoy for reasons beyond my understanding like icy landscapes.. I have some questions about the combo of sets but it's okay

turns out they all had the more casual fits as I suspected, it's just that hao had a parallel shot with jun in his slay coat-y fit

(I just realised how good joshua would look in this makeup...everyone else too oh my goodness now im even happier we got this..and also I wonder what they did for vocal team's mv)

honestly i started rewatching and went "it's gonna be most of the scenes, isn't it..yeah this one..and this one too..this one is also amazing" like I can't pick a fave 🥹💗 songwise, I loveee the spell part but that is also related to the fact I was already in need to get my energy out somehow and it gave me a reason to, it's so fun lol

please tell me what part you liked!! ☺️ i thought I was more normal about this but apparently nahh

[kiss-my-freckle]

Most episodes are written like their seasons - they end opposite how they start. This is the 3rd installment of my 14 episode series post. For those who don't know me, you can take and use my gifs any time you want.

3x3: The End of the Affair

3x3 opens with a Datherine phone call and Elena's hope. 3x3 ends with a Datherine phone call and Elena's heartbreak.

This episode repeats a lot in 3x5 because Elena will experience her own version of the 20s in current time. So yes, you'll find parallels between 3x3 and 3x5.

This is where things start to get heavy because Damon and Elena are in love with each other, and both are completely "in the know" about it. He has no reason to be terrified of Elena's love for him, and he's not at all shy lol. He pushed Elena to confess her love for him in 3x2. Because she confessed, you continue to see how Damon approaches her feelings for him. Understand tthis is my own interpretation of the writing.

This is Elena fighting her love for him -

This is Elena's love for him -

Damon knows fear when he sees it, so he pulls a reverse. He wants Elena to get comfortable with her feelings for him.

This is Elena's love for him -

This is Elena fighting her love for him -

Fighting one's love requires resisting temptation. The closer Damon gets to Elena, the more tempting he is. She can't be this close to Damon. He would NOT climb into bed and get that "cozy close" with Elena if all she had for him were friendship feelings. In her bed with her teddy bear, sure... but not in bed with her.

Damon is the same with her confession. Different in the fact that he has to push the confession until he hits her boundary.

Elena confessed her love for Damon because he pushed her to.

"I didn't want to see you get hurt, okay? I was… I was worried about you."

Damon's first confession push -

"You know you were dreaming about me. Explains the drool." ("What made you change your mind?")

Damon's second confession push -

"It came in a dream. I was naked. You would have loved it." ("So what changed your mind?")

Damon's third confession push -

"Ooh. Put these in the 'yes' pile." ("What changed your mind, Elena?")

He hits her boundary. This is Elena fighting her love for him -

A great battle… Elena fighting her feelings while Damon fights her fear. Just look at her reaction. The fact that he told her he was naked in his dream and she would've loved it, and said this two episodes after she literally saw him naked lol

Damon has two trains running at once... Elena's love for him and rescuing Stefan. "I had an hour to realize what a bad idea it was to leave you here alone, process it, and move on. Are you okay?" A good scene when Damon returns to Stefan's apartment. I'd gif it all, but this post would be too long. Difficult for Damon and Elena because this isn't like their other road trips. She's deep in his world, and not accustomed to his "in the moment" pace. This hasn't been her life, put it that way.

Despite Damon's love for Elena and his knowledge of her love for him, he's respectful on all things Stefan. He's truly preparing Elena to see his full-blown ripper brother, as he still believes Stefan flipped his humanity switch. That's why he offers up the chance for her to read his journal, and takes her to his apartment. Take notice how he refers to it as Stefan's "second personality" home. Sounds better than the Ripper's home.

My favorite part is his fear. He knows based on her responses that she's underestimating Stefan despite his attempts to prepare her for it. He fears she's not ready, that she's being far too casual about it, so he needs... reassurance. He will die if she doesn't take him seriously. "But you're going to have about five minutes tops before that hybrid freak rips my heart out. So please, tell me you can do this." Take notice his tone change on that last word because THIS is Ripper Stefan and Klaus is far more powerful than Ray. He's basically begging Elena for his life.

This is a truth they continue to show -

"You know, Stefan blames me for trying to tear him from his brother, but I think we both know who really came between them. You."

SHE is the reason Stefan won't come home, period.

This is Stefan not respecting Elena's choice -

I point this out because Stefan doesn't "always" respect her choice even though fans like to believe he does. Stefan sees no point. He's been feeding on human blood all summer. He feels it's a waste of time to put her at risk with Klaus just to come home and spend half her life getting straight.

A bit complicated to explain, but -

The last time you see Elena, she's telling Damon to drive. They don't show them during their car ride home, they don't even show Damon walking Elena to her door. This is their last attempt to rescue Stefan, and Stefan's last chance to take them up on their rescue. That said, their darkness and light theme continues, even in their soundtracks. Shelter by Birdy starts to play as Elena is shown holding her necklace.

♪ Can I make it better with the lights turned on ♪

"I don't want to run anymore, Nik! All we do is run."

This is where it gets complicated. The necklace, the soundtrack, and Rebekah not wanting to run. Watch how all three collide with each other. I consider this triple a foreshadow of Elena's death. No "shelter" needed. It's time for that necklace to come off.

I'm always looking at angle shots, so have this final hit -

[mikuni14]

There are so many series airing now that even though I feel like I can keep up, EVERY DAY I come across a set of gifs on tumblr that remind me of another series I've missed. The sad truth is that none of them impress me enough to keep an eye on the release date of the new episode 😟 (although now I will be looking out for the Sign, hehe)

Bake Me Please is fine. I will definitely watch for Guide, Ohm plays similarly to UWMA, but he is better at interacting with someone who openly tells him 'fuck you' than P'Deeaaan. Their pool scene was really nice 🥰 Is The Mother related to the mother of the twins from Twins? 🤔

My Dear Gangster Oppa is fine. I watch it for Meen ngl. I still think their relationship is rushed and groundless, and Guy is just too childish, idk ,the series just... misses something..

Playboyy I like the new pair the most, I also think they are the sexiest and most believable couple. The second ep is even more chaotic than the previous one, there is still a lot of laughter and surprising/shocking moments, which makes me approach the next episodes wondering what they will come up with next instead of engaging with the characters and the plot, which is.. not good. Imo, the series is terribly edited, it seems like I'm constantly missing something, rewinding the player and it turns out that no, I haven't missed anything, it's just like that. I just have the impression that a lot of scenes have been cut out, which is why there is often a lack of continuity in the story. After two episodes, I say that Playboyy is a series that makes little sense, and despite the large amount of sex, it's not really sexy, but it is a pure stream of fun and wild ideas 🥳 The only question is - how long will the fun and new ideas last to keep the viewers interested? 🤔 No matter what the theme of the show is, mystery, possible murder, sex, kink etc, this series presents these dark topics in a way that is way too funny to be treated seriously (and their fashion choices certainly don't help).

Last Twilight is fine. I watch for Mhok, he's such a golden boy. This series is a bit too "feel good" for me. It's absolutely not a flaw or anything wrong, it's just not really my style. Besides, I find myself constantly having a feeling of deja vu, as if I've seen this story before, even the scenes… like recently... hmmm... Moonlight Chicken?

Pit Babe this is one of those BL romance that has everything interesting… except the actual romance 😆 Ok, first of all, Pavel carries ALL the weight of this couple, he is interesting and hot for two lmao. Basically everything that doesn't involve MLs is interesting, especially the supporting characters (and even new ones appear and they're fun too!). The non-romantic scenes, Babe's relationships with the other characters, the relationships between the other characters are much more interesting than what happens between Babe and Charlie. Oh, and I totally ship… Babe and Way 😋 Maybe it's the actors, I don't know. I just like watching Pavel and Nut on screen. And I feel and see Way's love 🥺 It just seems to me that an actor with such magnetism as Pavel MUST be paired with an actor with equal or just slightly inferior charisma. He can't just be pretty and sweet. Nut isn't as pretty as the actor playing Charlie, but he's the only one who can manage to take my eyes off Pavel lol

Twins I liked this episode much more than the previous one, even though there was almost no romance (except for the kiss, there were some nice accidental kisses this week and it's a trope I don't even like that much 😃). I admire Sprite for his dedication and sacrifice, I feel sorry for him having this kind of family, especially his toxic mother. I'm officially back to being invested in this series 😉

The Sign 10/10

Today is the premiere of The Whisperer 💖💖💖

(there are still plenty of series for me to watch 😥)

[hils79]

Hils Watches The King's Avatar - Ep 24

I know Glory is a fictional game but I find it fascinating. It's clearly heavily inspired by your typical fantasy RPG. There's medieval weapons and armour, magic and dungeons. But there's also guns and rocket launchers. Has anyone sat down and written about the game and rules and stuff? I'd love to read more about it.

Also, lol, why are there American and British darts in that picture of Ye Qiu in the background?

Well, this just got really awkward

I'm crying! Wei Chen offering to speak to the captain of Team Tiny Herb and asking him to put Yifan on the roster. Yifan's face! He's just like 'is this guy for real'

I think this is the first time I've seen Ye Xiu properly laugh. These two are going to be so fun together

Uh oh a bunch of men in suits invading is never a good sign

Oh my god are you serious?

Look at her destroying the asshole dude who got in her face and tried to intimidate her. I love her.

Meanwhile Ye Xiu is watching all this with metaphorical popcorn

I love that An Wenyi is already joining in the team shenanigans

Listen. LISTEN. How do you expect me to be normal during this scene when Baozi and Yifan are just there CUDDLING. Look at the way Yifan is clinging to Baozi's hand/arm. I can't pay attention to the plot when this shit is happening why are they so cute?

Ye Xiu's face when Wei Chen tries to hit on Chen Guo. Sir that is my lesbian bestie boss you are using those cheesy lines on

She looks so unimpressed. If she was into men she'd eat him alive

Ye Xie is just 'dude I am so embarrassed for you right now please stop'

This lighting in this scene makes Yang Yang look even more pretty than normal

They really do bicker like exes

Yep they totally have History

The bickering is honestly delightful

Oh! Oh shit! He doesn't have history with Ye Xiu he has history with Shaotian! I did not see that coming!

Oh my god

OH MY GOD

Oh. My. God

Oh, no, nope. Wenzhou should never look like this he should only ever be smiling fondly at his husband

Look, I know they're playing against his team but DO NOT MAKE HIM SAD

I feel like I've seen a gif of this before but with no context. He's such a little shit

Once again I got distracted by the game but I am having a lot of fun. I enjoyed Wei Chen refusing to join in until someone pissed him off enough that he couldn't help himself

[scoobydoodean]

srs question what is it that these people get out of constantly posting about dean being incompetent or unable to do something despite evidence against the contrary in canon...like it can't possibly all be chalked up to classism right? is it really all about making some cheap 'white trash' joke for a five second laugh? I cannot imagine why this kind of thing has been happening since the show started. this insane dedication to ""humbling"" a character on a TV show by making him out to be dumber than he is by relying on outdated stereotypes. it's so weird! I can only conclude that it is born out of jealousy that dean is a genius who can literally do anything lol

Well to preface my response here: I know there was some sort of recent joke going around that this is probably specifically in reference to. I never saw these jokes. I have no idea who said what or how it was said or if I would find that person's tone/choice of words objectionable. I just heard there was a claim about Dean's competence at a thing and I thought, "Oh! Well I know of a scene where he does that thing they say he can't do" so I giffed it. That's it.

Mocking and belittling Dean and trying to think of things that one believes Dean would find humiliating seems to be a very very common pastime with a certain crowd, so I can certainly attempt to answer this ask in a more general sense.

In an overarching sense, classism or another form of ignorant stereotyping is going to be the social structure that causes these jokes to be thought up and to gain popularity. It's the answer to basic questions like, "Why is this group of people so sure this character would find x humiliating? I don't think they'd feel that way at all."

In a more specific sense, there are quite a few pockets of fans on SPNblr who seem to take great enjoyment in attempting to belittle and embarrass real people, and when you realize that, it makes sense that a fictional character would receive equal or greater negative attention from these pockets of fans.

I have watched certain groups set their sights on a blog or a post they did not like in the past, reblog that post with something condescending, mocking, or otherwise unwanted and unnecessary, and then watched that one reblog ignite into dozens more from their friends who follow their lead. I have seen this happen on several occasions, have heard stories of it happening, and have had certain pockets attempt to do this to me before as well—more than once.

I've seen the behavior these sorts of fans engage in referred to as "hazing" before, which certainly does carry an appropriately negative connotation, but I'm not going to use that word because someone then might interpret their actions as some kind of "rite of passage". I cannot emphasize enough that these people are, for the most part, just a bunch of stupid kids who've only been here for like two years or less and feel important because they had a post that breached containment once or twice and/or think maybe they have more followers than other people on a dying social media website.

These people are bullies who are trying to recreate the dynamics of their middle school, and I wish more people would recognize what they are and stop enabling them. They are not content to simply blog amongst themselves. They feel the need to approach and mock strangers online because it makes them feel important and powerful—perhaps as their influence naturally dwindles. I believe they probably also persist with their toxic tradition because they are afraid of their own "friends" finding something objectionable about them. Making someone else a target distracts them—fictional or real.

[bbnibini]

apothecary diaries anon here again! yeeees, the amount of times i've thought 'this would make a great icon/meme' while reading the manga is amazing! pretty sure most of them are of maomao too haha. (very tempted to edit her and jinshi into the 'woman screaming at cat in restaurant' meme lol) aaaa, don't get me started on how female friendships are treated in fiction; a story app i play keeps on having so many 'rivalries' or 'pretended to be your friend but isn't' plots, but it's almost always with women! like, no, can't i just befriend the characters??? have lovely friendship scenes??? i cry

unfortunately, i haven't had a chance to watch the anime of apothecary yet, i've just seen gifs and screencaps of it. instead, i binged over 10 chapters of the manga when i first messaged you, then another 10 the day after lol. i think i know the triggering plot point you're talking about though; like you say, it's amazing how they put all these dark details in the story, but handle the topic well and sprinkle it into the world building/character backstories. i'm at chap 26 rn, and i'm super interested in a certain character who just showed up + their motivations. (ooh, i'll check out ascendance of a bookworm too; sounds like my cup of tea!)

ah, as for the light novels, i looked it up on amazon (the only place i know where to buy light novels in the uk) and there's a physical release date for next year! i understand what you mean abt LN vs manga collecting; i like having a physical book in my hand for novels, but having digital copies for manga.

thank you for your reply before; it was fun to read!

🐱🍃 - (emojis that remind me of maomao)

Aniwkwkdkdk I REALLY NEED TO READ THE MANGAAAA maybe I should go the same route as you and just buy manga digitally and novels physically cause there were some manga I bought that I kinda regret buying physicals of. 🥲 (By that I mean I don't reread them as much and it feels awkward to read manga physically? Is it just me?? Maybe I got used to longscrolling in manhwa lol)

Right?? I can't judge the manga cause I haven't read it but in the anime, the tone is wonderfully executed and it's the right balance of exposition and pacing. WAIT WHAT REALLY?? OMG next year fr?!?!? if that's the case I'm gonna continue gatekeeping my digital copies and wait for the physicals! 😭 Thank you for this info!! (I only use my digital copies for annotating and for reading in bed. Idk ik I'm weird. If I really like the series I buy the soft copy and hardcopy wkjdkdkdkdk).

Honestly it's why I got tired of shoujo isekai. They always pit women against each other over some guy. It's so hard to find good series in that genre anymore cause they almost all have the same formula. I want my female MCs but I don't want any of the unnecessary catfighting. I just really hate how that side of the community has blatant misogyny cause you know fr they won't treat a morally ambiguous and handsome male character in that way. :/

Let 👏 women. Support women! 👏 (The emojis are really cute! ;v; <3 I just realised her name sounds like a cat's meow! That's so cute omg)

[haircoveredwriter]

Episode 1x04 thoughts

This episode wasn't one of my favorites, not horrible, a decent episode in itself but it felt as though it fell prey to a few of the issues similar ones in s11 of TWD did. I'll get in to those later but first we'll put the usual page break for those who don't want any spoilers.

First the aspects I did enjoy:

After taking a swim in walker-infested waters post his ceiling crash like a drunk Mary Poppins (you're welcome for the reference lol), Daryl strolls through Paris trying to get his bearings and comes to see an older couple inside a house, having tea (perhaps). The woman caresses the side of the man's face across the table which causes Daryl to pause, appearing to be lost in reflection before looking down briefly lost in a memory, only moving on once the nearness of walkers is apparent. Now who is the only person/woman who Daryl has ever stroked the face of/had his face stroked by?? I'll give you 3 guesses but anyone with a brain doesn't need that many and in case you've been living under a rock, please refer to my previous precious gifs post.

Later we get to see Daryl-of-old while he's beating a prisoner he and Isabelle took in hopes of finding Laurent. Having him go back to his early TWD season story-telling ways was lovely while also mixing it with the depraved Dixon he learnt to be from his upbringing meshed very well. (Basically Daryl wanted to create his own R-rated version of "Babe"). He must have read some anatomy books over the years to know where to cause the most damage without hitting vital organs.

Fallou's group using Molotov cocktails during their assault on Quinn's place is something I've been waiting for someone to do in the ZA! Like, seriously! Who wouldn't be using mini firebombs at this point when supplies are low and it keeps you at a distance from your opponent? It's just good sense imo.

Norman and the show itself did a very good job again pointing out that there is nothing going on shippy-wise between Daryl and Isabelle. (I know many a worried about it but there was nothing there from my standpoint) Daryl looked honestly uncomfortable when Isabelle hugged him, returning it lightly after a beat or two but happy to break away to continue looking at anything else afterwards. We also got Isabelle's own words that she has no romantic feelings for Daryl but simply concern for his wellbeing. When you watch the scene, they have Sylvie asking (a young girl who only now has her first ever crush but knows nothing of love) who is not equipped enough in life to be able to discern anything different.

Daryl's expression looking at the mini Statue of Liberty made me smile as well. Knowing he's getting closer to getting home, no matter what other tasks people throw at him, and getting back to his person would make anyone happy.

Overall the episode sets up the plot for the remaining 2 installments, getting us where we need to be for certain other aspects to take place. (Gonna let that be for the moment until the next ones drop 😉)

What I didn't like:

The pacing seemed quite slow and the story arc pretty much went in a circle, finally reaching an end point which we realistically could have gotten in 10 mins of another ep. Several points of the episode felt contrived just to fill up space before they could move on to a main bullet point in the story. (This was my main issue with a fair number of s11 TWD eps).

Isabelle's lack of any fighting skill is really getting on my nerves. How has she survived this long? The answer is probably by making things up and having others protect her/do her dirty work and other not so nice things so I'll relent. I haven't seen worse stabby abilities since early on in TWD ... again, yes I am not gonna say anything if I can't say anything nice.

Why'd they do pigeon man like that?!😒

Genet is equally as concerned about finding a man who blew a hole in her years-long-prepped boat as she is a kid who gives people hope? Mmmkay.

Regardless of it all I am excited for next week. It's gonna be great. Trust me.

[ohyesididnotjustdothat]

PLEASE tell me more about armporsche it's always been kind of on my radar but that gifset and your tags SOLD me and now I suddenly NEED more armporsche to add to the army of ships so..... pretty please?🥺💜

Ok, so i'm gonna touch on some points where arm seemed to interfere on Porsche's behalf more than you'd anticipate from a bodyguard who theoretically should have no stake in it, so i'm gonna preempt this w my basis for the pairing.

I believe Arm is the one who performed the background check on Porsche. I think this allowed Arm some insight into Porsche before anyone else--not just into Porsche's baggage, but Porsche's personality. The sweet, kind, hardworking older brother who is constantly struggling to provide for his baby bro in a cruel world that left him adrift after the tragic passing of his parents, prey to the sharks circling in the water. A man forced to be a father, a mother, a brother, a fighter, a lover--all in equal measure until he's bursting at the seams w all the facets of himself he's forced to internalize and exaggerate just to survive.

w that in mind, this will likely get long and rambly and i'm gonna take a lot of liberties, but this is just how i choose to read into the text to rationalize this pairing lol

so first off, when tankhun is seeking retribution for his koi. the stakes aren't nearly the same, but arm's expression of suppressed panic reminds me of kinn w the minor family conflict (where the gears are working in overdrive to find an out), and in the end, it's arm's quick thinking that saves porsche (albeit only temporarily)--just like kinn

also, when porsche takes tankhun out and kinn calls him to follow, everyone thinks porsche is in trouble, but note what pol (left) tells him, and what arm says

pol is understandably concerned for porsche, but doesn't rlly consider himself in a position to do anything about it, bc he's not. arm isn't rlly either, yet he explicitly gives porsche an avenue to confide in someone, despite their relationship still being relatively new and porsche already having pete (ironically, when porsche does eventually offload onto someone, it ends up being kinn on the pier)

then we have arm physically protecting porsche from tankhun's wrath at the expense of his safety

so u may have noticed i like comparing arm and kinn. i like to place them side by side bc i feel it provides a nice parallel, tho u may notice the drastic contrast in stakes; this dichotomy actually enhances the parallels for me, bc i feel it reflects the distinction between kinn's feelings, which have the capacity to develop into something intense and passionate (bc of porsche's reciprocation) and arm's, whose feelings are kind of doomed to just fade into the background bc they're unrequited

these i'm including to note that, at some point off-screen, porsche and arm obviously are bonding, bc their relationship has quickly gone from just working together to spending time w each other outside their duties and comfortable enough to be more tactile (in other words, closer to actual friends outside of work)

I'm gonna go ahead and link ur reblog of @kinnbig's gif set to save myself time, but the concern and care arm takes towards porsche in these scenes drives me insane, so there's that (the gif set that set me down this rabbit hole lol)

HEY!! what's this have to do w arm?? he had nothing to do w this ep--he barely even showed up!!! well this is another one of those off-screen extrapolations i'm prone to. particularly kinn and porsche's date. how can kinn and porsche move around together w no one in the compound knowing? likely they can't. and if anyone's gonna know kinn's whereabouts, who would that be? kinn may not have told him the specifics, but i assume arm was keeping an eye on them via gps, and arm still kept it under wraps, despite likely knowing what had already developed between the two (we know he kept this a secret bc pete and pol know nothing of what arm's talking about when he mentions helping porsche w tawan). i'd argue that i wouldn't be surprised if arm actually caught them on the cctv before (they weren't subtle) and just opted to keep it to himself for their sakes

speaking of supporting porsche, even w the excitement of their relationship becoming public, arm is still concerned about what will happen to porsche (tbf to pol, i think it's just bc he doesn't think in that context, not bc he wasn't worried lol)

so imma start winding down, bc i've spent enough time showcasing how unhinged i am about this concept, but i'd be remiss if i didn't call to attention how INSANE the insinuation here is. arm is a professional. he is tactful. he is ready to throw it all away bc porsche is a petty bf LOL. like i am reeling at the implication that arm was gonna bust in on his boss flirting it up w some twink and do. what?? WHAT WERE U GONNA HAVE ARM DO, PORSCHE, THAT'S HIS BOSS AND UNLIKE U, HE'S NOT FUCKING HIM!! HE CAN'T SHAKE THAT ASS AND GET OFF THE HOOK OMFG ASLFKJ

Anyway, it's difficult to do in a BL, bc there's rarely any focus outside of the pairings, particularly after they become established, but that's some insight into how i've constructed an unrequited love narrative between ArmPorsche. I'm still first and foremost a KinnPorsche girly, but i love turning over the possibilities of the secondary relationships in my head like a rotisserie chicken, so if you've stayed this long, i hoped you enjoyed my ramblings X'DDD

[fatalfangirl]

Okay my turn to mine you for info on writing smut. 20 please! Also 6 and 29. :3

LOL I see how it is!

20. What is your best piece of advice for writing smut scenes?

I had a feeling you would shoot this question back at me and I just want to say, SAME! Everything you said! But if I had to attempt a unique perspective... hmmm

I would say visualization. If you can't picture how the characters are moving through the space, your reader likely won't be able to either. As embarrassing as this is to say, I will put myself into weird positions so I can answer the question "does this work?" I will sit on pillows, I will place my hands on counters, I will look up gifs, because for me, I need to see it to write it. Because I want it to play out in full smutty glory for my reader, too.

From there it's picking and choosing the most impactful descriptors (as you said - show don't tell) and trying to keep pace with the action. I always try to write with the momentum of the scene in mind. Is it long and slow? If so, I will linger in the moment and play with small details. When it's fast and heated, I'll keep the sentences short. I'll make it build. I'll drive the urgency up, up, up. By building that cadence into the writing, you're helping clue the reader into how to fully enjoy the scene. Where they should focus and how long they should stay there.

And finally, don't fear being straightforward. You don't need to be flowery in your language. Embrace crude simplicity. Nothing like a good use of "cock."

6. Where do your titles come from?

I come up with most of my titles in the general idea stage. I really don't think about it very deeply. I'm a marketer by trade and have a lot of experience word vomiting short form promotional copy, so out it comes. At one point in my career, I actually worked on naming things!

So titles and summaries are by far the easiest part of any fic for me.

29. How do you plot your stories?

Horribly. HAHAH. I typically don't plot them out at all! I go in with an idea. A very general premise. "Action movie with spies set in Vegas." "Friends with benefits that captures the struggles of matching physical and emotional intimacy." "How people can communicate through sports." But I won't know the full plot.

And I don't attempt to before starting to write.

Because I'm impatient and also I'm the type of writer that likes to let the story take me places. I like chasing the ending and letting the characters tell me where to go or what to do. I fight with them. Constantly. But if I tried to plot out each story before hand, I'd never get to the writing.

Or maybe worst yet, I would plot it all out into a pretty outline and then say... well... I did it. No need to write it now. My itch has been scratched. (Which has happened 😅)

You can find the Author Asks list here.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Tuesday evening all :)

We’ve reached the conclusion of this Two parter. One of the most seminal and iconic moments for them. Not only as a ship but as characters. One of my all time favorite episodes. It’s the one where most people if they weren’t shipping them before they were after this. I was already locked and loaded for them at this point. This one added massive fuel to the fire though. Turned it into an inferno for me.

Also a chunk of the gifs I’m using are of Tim’s reactions through out the ep from a wonderful set I found. Would like to name it ‘Tim I can crush you with just my facial expressions. Let me count the ways Bradford. ‘ LOL let’s delve in shall we?

2x11 Day Of Death

We start this immense adrenaline rush of an episode with Lucy. She’s waking up and Caleb is tattooing her DOD tattoo on her. Then the sick MOFO asks Lucy if she knows what it is? She doesn’t answer at first. He says ‘Tell Me.’ Lucy looks down and sees her tattoo. Shakily replies ‘My day of death…’ He smiles sickly and we hit the opening credits. I hate him so much. Ugh.

Jackson notices Lucy isn’t home and figures her date went well. He arrives at work and finds her still missing. Checks in with Nolan asking if he’s seen her? He has not..They weigh telling Grey they don’t want her get dinged if she’s just late. They ask Harper if she’s seen Lucy. She says no and can sense more to their questions than they're saying. They start chatting if they should tell Grey. Nyla doesn’t waste a second before pulling Grey and Tim into it. Love this woman.

Tim’s face during the whole scene hits me right in the gut. This entire episode is an emotional gut punch honestly. This is the moment the worry and anxiety start their stranglehold on him and don't let go. His face goes through stages. First is realization then the outright panic and worry kick into gear. Tim licks his lips out of anxiety. He’s piecing the puzzle together and is absolutely terrified at the possible result.

Grey is the voice of reason during this entire scene. It’s much needed. Tim has a ton of info on this idiot. He immediately presents it. This is way of controlling his worry and panic. Tim can control where this whole thing starts at least. He has info they can use to easily verify if he is a real threat. Good thing he grilled Caleb so much. Rattles off his name, where he supposedly works, social media page etc Grey tells Tim to take Jackson and run a background check with Armstrong. They all split off with jobs to do. Love they were on it immediately for her. All hands on deck right away.

Nick is looking up ‘Caleb Wright’ and says he doesn’t exist... Tim instantly marches over to Armstrong's desk Says that can't be correct. He just saw it the other day. The anxiety continues to build for him. It’s written all over Tim's face. The panic and worry is starting to mount for him quickly. Eric is the king of expressions as we all know. This episode he kills me softly with them. Tim for the first time, is showing exactly how he’s feeling around everyone. Usually only Lucy gets to see this but not today.

No compartmentalization for him. Today he is an open book of anger, anxiety, and pent up stress. We truly get a look into how much he cares about Lucy. The weight he feels for putting someone he cares about in danger. There’s a lyric in the song featured in Lucy’s next scene. Says ‘My heart is on display.’ That is Tim in this episode. His heart is on display for everyone to see. He doesn't care who notices it. He is showing how Lucy being missing is destroying him. It awakens a piece of himself he’s been burying since they met.

We return to our girl strapped to a chair. She quickly is testing her restraints. The drug is wearing off and her wits are returning. Before she can test them further Caleb walks in. Eating eggs like this is completely normal for him to do. Tells her he would feed her but all the screaming makes you vomit. She asks for water. He says sure he's not a monster. Ok pal....

Lucy asks if this is why he hit on her. Caleb tells her no. She was a happy accident since the last girl didn’t work out. Ugh. That he was just there to scope out Armstrong. She asks him why the tattoo? He tells her it’s not for him. It’s for her. To get her to face the truth of her death. Sick sick SOB.

Lucy changes tactics and tries to rile him up. Asking if he got that from Rosalind? He defensively replies no it’s all him. She pokes the bear more. Saying she figured it was hers since she’s his mentor and all…He snaps again says they’re equals. Lucy continues her barrage and asks 'Does she know that?' God I love her. He catches on and says she’s good. That this is going to be fun for him. *shudder*

Grey and Armstrong are going over what they got from their canvass of the bar. The bartender recognized both Lucy and Caleb. There is video of them leaving but it’s not clear. They see car pull away but its stolen. Grey then says the words Tim has been dreading. His worst fear coming to life before him. That Caleb is Rosalind's apprentice and that he’s abducted Lucy… You can see the weight of responsibility and guilt Tim has now put on. It’s going to stay there for a long time. Long after they find her. We can already see the toll this is taking on him.

The way he swallows his anxiety. He's is beyond upset that she's been taken. Just watch Eric’s face especially towards the end. It encapsulates all of that. He is beating himself up in this moment. Convinced he is the reason she’s gone missing. Honestly I don’t know he could’ve lived with himself had they not saved her.

He is going to bear the brunt of this. It's who he is. To take on the full weight of this emotional burden. Now Lucy would never have wanted him to do this. Hell blaming him was the last thing she ever thought about. Tim is a pressure cooker of panic and stress in this ep. Every new piece of info or dead end only adds to that pressure. It’s not long before we see him truly implode…

Tim can’t handle this alone and recognizes this. So he calls Angela and is VERY vulnerable with her. His face as he waits for her to answer. Praying she picks up. He tells her Lucy’s been taken and he needs her. My boy has grown so much. Look at him reaching out and asking his best friend for aid. Even though he’s going to carry this emotional responsibility alone, he needs Angela help keep him sane. Because let’s be honest he is drowning right now.

Tim is trying so hard to keep his panic and worry from overtaking him. She immediately says yes and drags Wesley with her. They continue to talk about how to find Lucy. Tim is seething with anxiety his body language as anxious as I ever seen it. Nick poses she might already be dead. Harper jumps in and we get to see her growth as well. Defends Lucy’s tenacity. What a fighter she is, that she’s going to do everything she can to stay alive till they can save her. i.e. this next scene.

We go back to Lucy being the fighter Nyla was just talking about. Finally getting the restraints free. Effectively kicking Caleb’s ass on her way out. Sucker punches him so hard he's on his back.(Harper would be so proud) She makes it outside and you can see the vastness of a desert. Wherever Lucy is it’s remote af. She’s disoriented and hits that friggin trip wire. Makes me mad every time it gets her. What also pisses me off is Caleb couldn’t take her if she was 100 percent. It’s why he pepper sprays her. Our girl keeps punching even after he does that. He laughs until she gets one in. Deserved. Like Harper says she’s fighter. Sadly she loses the fight and he drags her away.

Angela shows up with Wesley in tow. It’s clear Tim being on the tip line is bringing him to his boiling point. He sends Wes to help Jackson with it. His stress is hitting an all time high when he talks to Angela. His emotions are something he’s normally very good at keeping in check but they are ruling him right now. Angela can see it instantly. She can also tell something is eating at him.

He starts suggesting desperate things like kicking down doors. Angela trying to right his ship logically asking what doors? He tells he doesn't know...but he can’t just sit here doing nothing. He takes off and Angela hunts him down. He says he doesn’t need a pep talk. (Yes you do…) Angela asks why did he call her then? Says he clearly needs to get something off his chest. To unburden himself.

Tim finally verbalizes the thought that’s been torturing him all day. That he did this. She was in danger because of him. Eric’s voice and how vulnerable he sounds while he’s explaining this My damn heart. Angela tries to assuage him of his guilt. Tells him he couldn’t have known. He refuses to be let off that easily. He's so mad at himself. Vibrating with anger. All the things he drills into Lucy he didn't do himself when it came to Caleb. He's so very angry and emotional he let this guy get past him.

That he should've seen him coming a mile away. Before even getting to Lucy. (He did though on some level he really did) But he's not going to see that logic right now. Says how she wanted to go home. But he told her to go out. That she went out with Caleb because he told her. The heartbreak all over Angela’s face when he tells her this. The acting is just top notch in this one. It’s always good but this entire ep is so emotionally charged. Everyone brought their A Game.

You can hear the crack in his voice to what he says next. He continues on to say she didn’t feel right about the whole situation. That she hesitated on going out with him, but he insisted and pushed her right at him. He is disgusted with himself. Look at that man's face above. He hates himself for letting her get taken, when he feels he could've prevented. it. Thus continues Eric’s destruction of my soul in this episode. Killing me good sir absolutely killing me. Such a good scene for Angela and Tim though. Glad it was captured in gif form.

Nolan is able to figure out with his visit from Rosalind about contraband. That’s how her and Caleb have been communicating. That if they can get to the smuggler they can get to the guard who’s been delivering it to her. Angela gets Wes on it for her with his connections. Says his clients aren't in trouble they just need the info.

We return to Lucy and her March toward the barrel. Caleb has planned something else for her. Not just the barrel but burial underground to go with it. Caleb tells her to get in. Lucy says no. He continues his diatribe by saying that at least in there there is still hope. Outside of it only death as he points his gun at her. Lucy then does the smartest thing of her entire capture. She fakes a trip and drops her ring. The very thing that saves her life.

She knows Tim with his cop eyes will spot it and save her. So damn smart on her end. Caleb has no idea what he was up against truly. He asks her any last words? Lucy confidently replies ‘You’ll be dead long before I am.’ Damn right he will be. Watching her get into the barrel and him kicking into the hole is hard to watch. I hate it so much. Her trying not to panic once she hears the dirt pile on top. Ugh I can’t. Melissa crushes the entire scene inside that barrel makes me wanna cry each time. Trying so hard to regulate her panic and breathing.

Now comes one of my favorite Tim portions of the episode. He’s been pent up and to his boiling point by time we get here. They have the name of the smuggler and it’s time to get some answers. This scene shows you the lines he’s crossing and depth of how far Tim is willing to go to save her. Idk if it’s wrong to find aggressively protective Tim so sexy. But this scene phew lord. It really hits the spot for me in that regard.

Doesn’t even hesitate to threaten with bodily harm. The last thing Tim has time for today is BS. You’re standing between him and his person (except he doesn’t know that just yet hehe). You aren’t going to win this fight my man. He doesn’t even give this guy a moment to mouth off. Slams his face into his steering wheel immediately and says it’s his day of reckoning. *fans self* It sure is. Now Jackson looks off put but I’m cheering Tim on. Also if this is how he is before he's with her can you imagine how he would be in S6 if something happened to her? Scorched earth. This is pretty damn close to that anyways.

Watching how he unravels in this scene just shows his utter despair in this moment. This is Tim at his peak of desperation. That he is literally willing to risk his career by injuring this guy to get what he needs. That by the book Tim Bradford is giving the bird to ethics right now to save her. Nothing will stand in his way to get her back. If he has to rough this guy up to get what he needs so be it. The thought of failing her is unacceptable. Especially since he feels he put her there. He’s shown many times he has her back. This is another level. Look at that final line above. He means every word of it.

God help the poor SOBS who stand in the way of Tim Bradford and who he cares for. I relate to this very much. I am the same way for those I care about. Deeply loyal and loving. You will experience hell rain down on you if you mess with someone I care about. So I get his mindset during this. Might not be the right way but it’s something I can most definitely relate to.

They get a name for Jerry Havel from the smuggler. Sadly it’s another dead end. The guy who lives there isn't Caleb. They find out he stole his identity. Used it to get to get close to Rosalind at the prison. I’ve never seen Tim look so damn dejected as above. He looks lost and broken, definitely in need of a hug. You know he feels like a failure right now. Just absolutely wrecked and distraught. Not a drop of hope left in him. Jackson comes up to him with some potential good news. Credit cards Caleb used in Jerry’s name.

Tim gets so excited saying the charges could lead them to Caleb. Jackson breathing some life back into our boy. They head back to the station to regroup. Wes is brilliant and associates Calebs obsession with Rosalind with his next killing ground. Something that would tie to her. Tim comes in and says he has a PO Box payment in Kern County. That he still makes payments even after he quit. That’s how they piece together she’s at Rosalind's Uncle's farm.

Then comes the song that makes me teary every time. So hauntingly beautiful her voice in the background as they race to the farm to save her. The cinematography in this episode is primo. The emotions it evokes are immense. Her singing the song that will haunt us all every time we hear it. Melissa is beyond brilliant in this moment. Singing but also crying because she believes this is the end for her. I want to cry just writing this out. This moment is so incredibly emotional. She’s accepted her fate at this point and yet still hasn’t at the same time. Beautifully tragic.

Harper and Nolan make it first. They see Nick is being held captive by Caleb. Sadly Harper misreads the situation and shoots him. Then starts the next emotional rollercoaster. John FaceTiming Grace in order to save him. God bless her for trying. The irony of them trying to save him so they can save Lucy. Tragically he ends up dying and his knowledge of where Lucy goes with him..

The rest of the team shows up shortly afterwards. Harper tells them Caleb is dead. They split up into sections to start searching the vast desert. It seems like they’ll never find her. The shots are so wide and boundless. Then Tim sees something glinting in the distance. The way he runs up to it knowing that’s where she is. The way he grabs it and instantly knows she's left her ring for him. Once finds the lid with his foot He starts screaming ‘I’ve got her!’ repeatedly.

He starts digging not even waiting for a shovel. He is as feral as he can be trying to dig her out with just his hands till help arrives. His desperation has reached critical levels as he digs to find her. With every swipe of his hands he’s trying to undo what he thinks he’s done to her. Once everyone else arrives, they offer Tim a shovel but he continues to dig with his hands. Almost in a trance with digging her out. He isn't wasting a damn second to take it because it could cost her.

I love how everyone helps to get her out but Tim fends them off once she's out. He wants to work on her himself. No one was going to touch her but him. This part always makes me catch my breath. The music, the way he frantically works on her, everyone’s reactions as he does. We’ve reached the height of the adrenaline and emotions in this moment. Armstrong and Grey look like it’s over. Everyone else is in shock around Tim. He refuses to give up. Giving Lucy CPR incessantly and being relentless in its delivery. He continues to work tirelessly on her. After another moment she finally comes back to him.

One of most beautiful parts of this scene and what gets me the most is her initial reaction. The last time she closed her eyes she saw Caleb. When she re-opens them she’s disoriented. Honestly a little panicked as well. It’s not until she hears Tim’s voice grounding her back to the present and seeing his face does she realizes she’s out. She not in that barrel anymore. That’s she’s safe in his arms and away from that monster.

Then she immediately breaks down. The way her hands shake as she reaches out for him gets me good. Tim see's this and he hides her in his chest. Softly cradling her head against him. Trying to protect her. Tim is instinctual in how he comforts her. Telling its ok. She continues to cry and god that kills me. Clings to him like the life line he is for her. Especially in this moment. So happy he’s the one holding her. He needed to be the first face she saw and Tim needed that as much as she did.

The way he cradles her so gently against him. My damn heart. I tear up every time I watch this scene. Holding her like she is the most precious thing on this earth to him. The immense amount of relief that washes over him. He looks like he wants to cry himself. Tears of relief. It’s the first time he’s drawn a real breath since she disappeared. He breathes that sigh of relief into her hair. It’s an incredibly intimate moment shared between them. Him lying his head on hers and the protective way he’s holding her.

Looks like he is shielding her from everything and refusing to let her go. Wanting to absorb all the sadness she’s experiencing in this moment. Can only imagine he held her all the way to the hospital too. If not he held her hand the entire ambulance ride back. Stuck to her like glue. Tim outwardly displaying everything he’s feeling in this moment. He doesn’t care who sees this. He would’ve moved heaven and earth to save her. It’s written all over this beautiful embrace. I’ll never be over this moment. Even years later. They already had me but this cemented me following them anywhere.

Tim could not be cuter staying by her bedside the entire night. Watching over her while she got some much needed rest. Her fierce protector standing guard. Also having when she wakes for him to be first face she sees again. Look at this man's face when he realizes she is awake. He could not be more adorable reading some teen magazine to pass the time. It's classic. Their banter picking up right where they left it. Not skipping a beat. Talking about BTS and which one was his soulmate haha He plays along then asks what that is? She laughs and its so nice to see he can still do that. God they cute. The look of sheer joy of her being awake is written all over his face.

She asks him if he’s been here all night? He looks like he’s about to cry and says no..it’s ok babe we know you’re lying. She knows too but lets it go. She just follows up with a very sweet ‘Mmhmm.’ with a helping of heart eyes for him. Honestly everything you need to know about how he’s feeling in this moment is in that gif above. Eric the king of expressions strikes again. Nolan, Jackson and Grace join them. Coming in to check on her as well. The way he watches her while she talks to the trio is so sweet.

She could say anything right now and he would be enamored. He’s just so damn happy she’s ok. Lucy says she’s never going on another date again. Grace says I don’t know that’s the takeaway. The boys all chime in it’s so damn funny. Saying mixture of things at once. ‘Statistically that’s pretty safe, Definitely should.’ LOL She asks if this is the kind of understanding she’s should expect from now on? Tim says pretty much.

Tim asks her if she’s hungry. She says starving. I bet she is poor thing god only knows last time she ate. Tim produces her favorite order veggie burger and fries with extra pickles. He’s so proud of himself for having got it. That he remembered. Look at him so pleased with himself having that ready to go for her. She could ask him for the world right now and he would deliver. No questions asked. Easy Tim your feelings are showing.

The rest of this scene is all heart eyes. It's a two way street of cuteness. We get our next iconic OTP line. ‘You know me so well. Too well’ ❤️ The way he says his half its like he’s finally giving into their bond and connection at this point. That there is something there he can't deny. He doesn't fully understand it right now but its there. We all know he will continue to try to ignore it but ultimately won't be able to hehe. The amount of heart eyes these two are throwing around during this is amazing. Surprised the others didn’t just leave to give them privacy haha No one else in their world when they get like this. Everyone else around them fades.

Phew what an episode it emotionally drains me each time in the best way. Melissa and Eric are rockstars. We’re so lucky to have them running this ship. If you didn’t see their chemistry or ship before this you sure as hell did now. It was there in all its glory the entire ep. What a ride.

~~~~

Side notes-Non Chenford.

I loved Wesley turning it around in this episode. As horrible as Lucy going missing was and the toll it took on everyone it helped right his ship. Show him perspective about what she survived. And honestly he was huge in what saved her.

John’s final scene with Rosalind is so good. The way he breaks it all down. How she’s lost. Caleb died, Lucy and Armstrong were alive, and he inadvertently gave them the rest of her kill sites in his notes. She looks down for the count. But before Nolan can leave she throws that tid bit out about Nick before he departs. Damn good ep holy hell.

thank you to https://the-rookie.fandom.com/wiki/2x11_gallery?file=2x11_015.jpg I needed one random screen cap ha

Also Thank you all for reading. For all the likes/ comments and reblogs. I hope I did this iconic episode justice. Truly one of my all time favorites of the series. ❤️ See you all in 2x12 :)

[esther-dot]

As someone that used to be show only when Jonsa reunion happened in GOT, I thought it was so emotional and well done - even though I had never really considered Jon & Sansa's relationship before. Like, the gifs/screenshots of it were EVERYWHERE. Jonry@ reunion was... fine, I guess, but it definetly didn't hit the same. I've seen locals mention Jonsa scene as their fav Stark reunion, and I'm positive some fans still seethe over this lol

Listen, I do not ship Jon and Arya, but their reunion was a major disappointment! Their bond is so special, and I still can't believe that after that lackluster reunion, we didn't get another one-on-one scene with them. When I say I'll die mad about s8, I will! The way D&D just truly didn't care about the Starks and seemed intent on undercutting every emotional beat for them...ugh.

I do think some of the Jonsa reunion having such an impact is that it was the first Stark reunion, both Jon and Sansa were at their lowest, there was a lot of fear in the audience that they'd miss each other, and then after their reunion they retook Winterfell so their relationship was not only emotionally compelling, it impacted the plot and led to great things for both. It's tied up in so many good things, we feel good thinking about it. Jon's reunion with the other Starks is so mired in the mess of s8 it's hard to find good feelings around it, and D&D deliberately stuck some negative stuff in Sansa's post reunion relationship with Bran (rape flashbacks) and Arya (threats of removing her face...) that neither feels as good even if in s8 they have some nice moments.

But the acting and filming of the Jonsa reunion itself is so distinct from the rest of the show, the time they dedicated to it, the way they let that breathe...I think Kit and Sophie decided it meant everything to Jon and Sansa to find family again and their dynamic was set from then on. Their respective characters never connected with the other characters in a similar way, the writing wasn't there, but neither was that uniquely moving undercurrent. It really was a beautiful moment, and as much as fans want to discard everything GoT or GoT post s4, s6 is very special to me. What a beautiful moment. As a Sansa fan, as a Jon fan, I’m forever grateful for it.

[petrichoraline]

EIGHT SHOWS TO GET TO KNOW ME

tagged by @littleragondin mwah🥰 these are not all my most fave but they all represent a bit of me so i find them suitable

W.I.T.C.H - now i'm not gonna pretend to be the biggest fan but this used to be THE show for me before WINX came along and i'll always pride myself on being a witch girlie first and winx girlie second (the "not like other girls" syndrome began very early on for me); their powers, the visuals, the adventures combined with the daily struggles of teen girls, the boyfriends, the intro song omg, there is sm about this show, the countless books, the og comic.. good stuff <3

also those two >>>

Lovely Complex - my first anime iirc, i wish people would pay attention to it (but also i'm the only one who's allowed to get it, y'know); only a young romantic towering over her classmates could have the chance of understanding my feelings for it

also read the manga <3 but uh you can skip the live action lol

Hana Yori Dango - broooo- bro. this show was made for my basic romantic ass, it was my first asian drama (or one of the first), it introduced me to Matsumoto Jun, had me hooked for two seasons (though im pretty sure i binged the second season and movie in 24 hours, long after i had watched the first season..? idk what that was about)

i am of the opinion f4 thailand did best in many ways but this will forever be THE adaptation in my heart. the songs were unmatched, the drama breathtaking (there are so many cliches that i didn't know were cliches back then lol) and the experience surreal. i'll always treasure this questionable classic 💖

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? - i enjoy this an unreasonable amount - my country's edition, that is; i just like having it in the bg and being a smartass, sometimes i run my mouth off so confidently and proceed to apologise to the tv when the contestant turns out to have been right lol

Weekly Idol - hear me out on this - aside from all of its issues, the show has always been my way of finding more about groups. especially back in 2015, those low quality episodes on yt helped me so much with getting into kpop; it can be very hit-or-miss but i have so many faves; many artists have been on multiple episodes throughout the years and yet show something entertaining every time. you can find new groups to stan through the mixed episodes and learn more about the members of groups you're already interested in (though for that i also rec individual shows like gose, wanteez, monsta x-ray etc.). i'm especially excited for eunkwang and minjoo as the new hosts, they are so funny on their own and i want to see their dynamic so bad

Pride & Prejudice - i've watched this just once but i can't not appreciate the accuracy to the book (except for the iconic lake scene lmao) and it covers british tv, 90s shows, austen books and period dramas all at once - all things i enjoy

Bridgerton - i had a whole piece written bout this but simply put - season 2 and kathony were a Thing for me. got me researching and binging a bunch of jonathan shows, reading most of the book and a bunch of tumblr posts..even looking through gifs now im going feral, i love them

New Girl - i usually play shows like this in the bg but i found myself paying a lot of attention and actually losing it laughing so many times, also nick and schmidt are the most precious intense bromance i've witnessed in fiction

[ambelle]

lol at ppl being confused that Dick dated Barbara even though he had feelings for Kory (and being angry at him for it). Have they not seen a tv show before? Dating someone even though you have feelings for someone else is like the most common part of will-they-won't-they. And there are many reasons that a person could date another person even though they have feelings for someone else: denial, thinking it's unrequited, thinking they're unworthy of that person, scared of losing that person, etc

Yeah shows always take random detours between s1 and the endgame ship. It's expected. I did like the development of DK from s2-3 though. In s3 they felt like partners and family rather than it always being a risk of him or her leaving before. There was more trust there.

I'll admit I felt like DB was a waste of time (as side ships usually are) but i didn't think they were replacing Kory as the leading lady. And if there is a point to a side ship then it's fine. The hospital scene in ep 8 is where I finally understood DB wasn't just filler. The point was to prove to Dick he's not Batman. Meaning not only does he not belong in Gotham he also doesn't fit with anything from his old life including fooling around with Babs and not having a family to answer to.

This gif says a lot IMO. He may as well have a thought bubble that says "what have I done?" LOL. And he immediately ran off after she said this.

He loves his team and the only one who loves mentoring them too is Kory. Dawn and Babs don't care about them kids at all LMAO

Babs didn't want anything to do with who he currently is or his family. And...they never actually made it on a single date.

As for Kory and Justin, I think the issue with them was more obvious. She can't date a normal guy. When he got a bit hesitant after she mentioned she wasn't human she ended it right there.

I personally think that Dick thought he was unworthy of Kory before the whole Slade thing was sorted out and after that, he thought he just missed his chance. We'll find out when he explains himself.

I'm really looking forward to it.