#i feel so vindicated right now i always got a feeling he was younger than them and the rest of the league in general | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bratdesire · 3 years

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Your Dad, My Daddy

Pairing: Ukai Keishin x Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ smut, age gap, older man/younger woman, barely legal, squirting, rough sex, daddy kink, alcohol mention, questionable ethics, d/s dynamics, overstimulation, degrading language, touch of subspace, unprotected sex, breeding kink, slight dubcon if you squint but it’s all consensual, Ukai’s dick is pierced, exhibitionism(?)

Genre: Smut, just so much smut

Word count: 9.4k

Author’s note: Here is my contribution to the new HQHQ collab!! You can find the masterlist right here! Big big thank you to @sempiternal-amour and @inaflashimagine for beta-ing this monster fic, ilysm <3 This is so incredibly self-indulgent, I even inserted my nickname ~for spice~. Anyways, enjoy my incoherent screaming uwu

Summary: When you go over to your friend’s house for a study session you don’t anticipate meeting her very attractive father, and you surely don’t anticipate the very same man fucking you over their couch.

“Hey, I apologize in advance for anything weird my dad says or does. You know how dads are,” Hitomi explains as she pulls into the driveway of her house.

It’s small but nice and well-manicured, situated in the cul de sac of a middle-class suburb.

“Dad, we’re here,” she shouts up the stairs, setting her keys on the small table next to the front door. Hitomi’s gaze drifts to the tall, dark haired man sitting at the kitchen table and your own gaze soon follows. “Oh, there you are.”

She quickly pecks the man on his cheek before walking over to the shiny silver fridge, pulling out a couple bottles of water. “Dad, this is Bunny, Bunny this is Dad,” she gestures between the two of you.

When her father glances up from his phone to give you a nod of acknowledgement, you’re taken aback by how handsome he is.

You can tell from the slight wrinkles around his lips and the crinkles by his eyes that he’s definitely a much older man, but other than that he’s flawless. The angle of his jaw is sharp but soft, lower face darkened by his five o’clock shadow. His chocolate brown eyes are complemented by plump, pink lips that would look even better swollen and shiny with saliva. Dark, shiny locks are gathered into a low ponytail and you wonder how they would feel fisted in your fingers. He’s gorgeous in a rugged, mature way that boys your age aren’t and could never hope to be.

Hitomi never told you her dad was hot but then again, why would she?

“Mr. Ukai, it’s nice to meet you,” you greet him.

He waves his hand in the air dismissively, “Ah, you can just call me Keishin. No need to be so formal.”

Hitomi mutters a frustrated “shit” under her breath and it takes you a few moments to tear your eyes away from the man in front of you.

“I left my textbook in the car, I have to go grab it,” she sighs then turns to her dad. “You, don’t scare off my friend, please.”

Keishin puts a hand on his heart, a falsely serious expression on his face. “I won’t, scout’s honor.”

She just rolls her eyes, exiting the kitchen the same way you entered. The front door slams shut, leaving you alone with your friend’s very hot dad.

Keishin looks up at you then quickly looks away, unsure how to interact with his daughter’s friends. “So is, uh, Bunny your real name?” he asks, nervously rubbing the back of his head.

Leaning against the table he’s seated at, you fold your arms across your chest, fully aware of how low cut your top is. You don’t miss the way his eyes briefly flicker down to your cleavage then back up to your face. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” you challenge, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I… I’m just trying to make conversation,” he laughs nervously.

“Hm, well, the short answer is no. You’ll have to get to know me a bit better before I give you the long answer.”

He snorts, pushing his chair back and rising to his full height. “What gave you the confidence to speak like this to your elders?”

Taking a step towards him, you twirl a piece of hair around your finger and shyly peer up at him through your lashes. “I don’t know, but maybe you can teach me how to behave.”

A light blush colors his cheeks and his eyes widen with surprise. “I-I don’t know what you’re implying, but it’s not... appropriate,” he stutters, taking a step backwards to try to put some distance between you.

You sidle up to him, reaching out a hand to caress his well-muscled arm. When he makes no move to stop your petting, you bite your lip and get on your tiptoes to whisper in his ear. “Who said we had to be appropriate?”

His mouth is slightly agape, lips moving every so often, as if he wants to say something but doesn’t. “I—” he starts.

The sound of the front door slamming open makes you both jump apart, trying to appear as casual as possible.

“I got it! We can go study now,” Hitomi proclaims, waving the book around in her hands. She glances at you, then at her father and notices the way you’re completely turned away from each other. “Oh my God, Dad, what did you do?” she groans.

He holds up both hands in surrender, shaking his head emphatically. “I didn’t do anything! Why do you always think I did something?”

Your friend strides over to lightly punch his shoulder, a disapproving but loving expression on her face. “Because you’re weird and lame. Besides, between you and Bunny, I’m always going to assume that you’re the guilty party.”

You find yourself chuckling at their banter, touched by how close they are. It’s evident that Hitomi and Keishin care a lot about each other, regardless of how much they tease each other and guilt twists in your gut when you remind yourself that you were flirting with him. She likely wouldn’t forgive you for trying to sleep with her dad and it would cause a great deal of damage to their relationship, possibly beyond repair if she knew he was into girls her age. To make matters worse, you’re two years her junior. What man would sleep with a girl younger than his daughter?

But your morals are tossed right out the window when you take in the sight of Keishin’s radiant smile—all straight, white teeth and eyes that shine like pools of dark honey. It’s in that moment that you decide you’re going to seduce that man if it’s the last thing you do.

Sorry, Hitomi. Kind of.

---

“Okay, so L-Tyrosine is one of the twenty amino acids used by the body to synthesize proteins. It is also an aromatic amino acid derived from phenylalanine by hydroxylation in the para position—oof!” Hitomi’s droning is cut off by the pillow you send hurtling towards her head.

You sit up on her bed, squealing obnoxiously as you stretch. “Hitomi, I love you, but please shut up. My brain is melting. We’ve been at this for three hours now, can we take a break?”

She closes the textbook in her lap and pushes it to the edge of her desk. “Fine, fine. We can take a twenty minute break, but we have to go right back to studying because finals are this week and I cannot afford to fail,” your friend warns, despite how she whips out her phone at lightning speed.

Picking at a stray thread on the comforter, you gently try to get her attention, “Hey, Tomi?”

“Hm?” she responds, barely glancing up from the video she’s watching.

You’re not sure how to broach the subject, but you’ve never been one to beat around the bush so you just come right out and say it. “Has anyone told you your dad’s kinda hot?”

That makes her stop, her head jerking up from her phone at lightning speed. “What!? That old geezer?” She sounds dumbfounded, incredulous at the prospect that someone would be interested in her father.

“Yeah girl, he’s a total DILF,” you confess, making a little fanning motion with your hand like you’re burning up inside just thinking about him, and it’s not that far from the truth.

Hitomi makes no effort to hide her feelings, disgust clearly evident in her delicate features. “Ew! You have to be joking. Please tell me you’re joking.”

“I’m not joking! He’s really sexy,” you muse dreamily.

She claps both hands over her ears, yelling at the top of her lungs to drown you out. “I never want to hear you say that my old man is ‘sexy’ ever again!”

You childishly stick your tongue out at her. “Hey! I’m just speaking the truth. You have to have had friends say the same thing.”

Removing her hands from her ears, she brings one up to stroke her chin, seemingly deep in thought. “Now that I think about it, back in high school my friends were a lot more enthusiastic about coming over once they met my father.”

You feel vindicated by her personal testimony, even if she thinks you’re gross. “See? I’m not the only one who finds your dad ridiculously attractive.”

Hitomi gags dramatically as if she’s going to puke and judging by the look on her face, she just might. “Please, no more, I’m begging you.”

“Fine, fine I’ll stop, but don’t act surprised when I become your new stepmom,” you tease, wiggling your eyebrows at her.

“You’re younger than me, don’t even joke about that,” she shudders in horror. “Okay, with that we need to get back to studying amino acids and proteins.”

“Whatever you say, future stepdaughter.” You muster your best motherly voice, sickeningly sweet and a touch passive aggressive.

This time, it’s Hitomi’s turn to throw a pillow at you.

---

Since the day you met Keishin, you haven’t been able to get him off your mind. Even when you’re in class trying to learn about the sodium-potassium pump, you find your thoughts drifting to his hands, his lips, him. He’s simply become too distracting to ignore.

More times than you care to admit, you’ve fucked yourself with your fingers to thoughts of how his fingers would feel pumping inside you. You fantasize about how his hand would feel around your neck, squeezing with just enough pressure to make your vision hazy. His name is always on the tip of your tongue when you orgasm and when you finally let yourself moan out ‘Keishin,’ you know enough is enough. A man his age has to know exactly how to make a woman scream and writhe in pleasure, but you need to experience it for yourself or you’ll die trying.

You’re not oblivious to the way he looks at you with hunger and longing in his eyes, you know he wants you too and you’re not above using dirty tricks to show him just how much you want him.

If he’s too proud, too noble to give in to his urges, you’ll just have to break him. His resolve may be strong, but yours is stronger.

Your efforts begin innocently enough, gently probing him for more information about himself so you can get to know him better.

“I’ve noticed you don’t wear a ring. Is there a Mrs. Ukai in the picture?” you ask innocently.

Keishin clears his throat a bit too loudly, refusing to meet your questioning gaze. “Nah. It’s just me and Tomi, always has been.”

“Any… future Mrs. Ukai in the picture?”

The corners of his lips twitch slightly, the barest of smiles tugging at his handsome features. “Can’t say there is. Between the store and coaching volleyball, I don’t really have the time to date.”

You nod and make a noise of acknowledgement, relieved by the confirmation that he is in fact very, very single. You’re a lot of things, but you’re not a homewrecker.

On another occasion, you’re seated on their plush leather couch and Keishin’s in the well-worn La-Z-Boy recliner to your left. You’re watching some Adam Sandler movie on Netflix, but it’s paused while Hitomi is in the bathroom.

You take your alone time together as an opportunity to question him more, toeing the line of what would be considered proper. “So, Keishin, how old are you? I know Tomi’s twenty-one so you must be…” you trail off, hoping he’ll humor you.

He takes a swig of the beer in his hand and your eyes instinctively flicker down to watch the way his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. “Old.”

You roll your eyes and prop your chin up on your hand, readjusting your position on the couch so you’re leaning closer to him. “Obviously, but just how old?”

“Why do you want to know so badly?” he asks, head tilted and a well-groomed eyebrow lifted questioningly.

“I was just wondering if you’re older than my dad,” you tease.

His shoulders shake slightly as he chuckles, amusement dancing in his eyes. “I’m forty-four. Do I have him beat?”

“He’s forty-two, so just barely.” Your steady, unwavering eyes lock onto his own, which are glassy and unfocused from the alcohol. When he brings the bottle to his lips once more, you nonchalantly add, “Maybe I should call you Daddy instead.”

Keishin coughs and sputters in surprise, causing him to choke on his beverage and a spray of sticky beer splatters across your face.

Apologies tumble out of his mouth as soon as he realizes that your cheeks and hair are dripping with the craft IPA he was drinking. “I-I’m so sorry! I’ll get you a towel,” he blurts, shooting up from his chair.

In his panic and embarrassment, he rushes toward the linen closet and you can’t help the giggles that escape your mouth at how uncoordinated he is, now several drinks in. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s not that big of a deal,” you reassure him, wiping your face with the back of your hand for emphasis.

He returns from the rummaging around the hall closet, a dark blue towel in his hand, which he offers to you with a nod of his head.

No matter your protests and assurances that you’re fine, Keishin is even more insistent in offering you the towel to clean yourself up. When you refuse to take the towel from him, he kneels down next to you and leans in to dab at the foamy liquid that has soaked into your hair.

Your breath hitches in your throat when you feel his fingers on your jaw and you almost squeak at his close proximity. He hasn’t let you near him since your first encounter and now he’s right in front of you, so close that his breath curls around your cheeks, smelling of malted hops and the slightest hint of peppermint. You can map out the slight freckles on the bridge of his nose and each long, curled eyelash that brushes his cheeks each time he blinks.

He’s truly a beautiful man, all sharp angles and rough stubble and you can feel your cheeks warm when you realize that he’s right there. If you leaned forward just a little bit more, your noses would brush against each other.

A deep, rumbling voice interrupts your daydreaming. “Kid, are you even listening to me?”

You blink a couple times, coming to the realization that he’s been trying to talk to you for the last few minutes, but you were too busy admiring his beauty.

Keishin shakes his head as he leans back on his heels, using one hand to rub his face wearily. “As I was saying, you can’t just… say things like that. I know young girls sometimes have fantasies about older men like me, but I’m telling you now that it’ll only end badly,” he sighs. “I’m not a righteous man, I have my vices. God, do I have lots of them, and I don’t need another one.”

He mumbles the last sentence, barely loud enough for you to hear, despite how close you are.

Another one? Is he admitting that the attraction is mutual? You have to know, you just have to. Your body practically aches from how badly you want him.

“Keishin, I—” you start, reaching out to touch his arm, but he stands abruptly and quickly turns to shuffle away from the couch.

“This just isn’t a good idea, kid. Just forget about me, alright?” he says, his back to you. A tinge of regret and hesitation seeps into his words, as if he wants to take back everything he’s said.

After the beer incident, the man is even less receptive than he was before, making every effort to avoid being alone with you.

Even still, you’re not discouraged because he never outright rejected you. If he had, you would’ve stopped your pursuit weeks ago, but he only seems to be trying to maintain his composure as a righteous man.

Righteous men are wolves in sheep’s clothing, always putting on a facade so they can claim plausible deniability when they’re caught with their pants around their ankles. But no matter how honorable or virtuous a man tries to be, none of them can resist a wet, willing pussy laid out in front of them and Keishin is no exception.

That’s why you’ve shown up to their house the last few weeks in skirts far too short to be considered decent, flashing little peeks of your underwear each time you move too much or bend over too far. Each time you bend over to grab a pencil or a piece of paper off the floor, Keishin is always conveniently positioned behind you so he gets an eyeful of your pretty lace panties and the little dark spot where your wetness has soaked through the fabric.

After you retrieve your item from the ground, you look over your shoulder to make direct eye contact with him and say ‘oops,’ without a hint of regret in your voice. You revel in the clenching of his jaw and the way he exhales loud and heavy through his nose, frustration mounting each time you try to provoke him.

When your ass and clothed pussy are on display for him, you make sure to wiggle your hips a bit, an open invitation to fuck you the way you both want to. It never fails to elicit some sort of reaction from the older man, ranging from a few groans and a choked cough, to making a very hasty exit, a book or some other object held over the front of his jeans.

Without fail, Hitomi expresses her concern each time her father storms out of the room, red-faced and breathing heavily. He just waves her off, telling her he’s not feeling well, but you know the truth. He’s painfully hard, painfully hard from you, even if he doesn’t admit it.

Truthfully, if you weren’t trying to get him to fuck you so hard you can’t walk you would applaud his self-control and restraint. Even after weeks of teasing and provocation, the man refuses to give in to his desires.

That’s okay. If he’s not going to come to you, you’ll just have to take matters into your own hands.

----

It all reaches a tipping point when you’re unable to go home for winter break and Hitomi offers you their guest room to stay in for a few weeks.

Apparently she never asked her father for permission, if Keishin’s shocked, slightly panicked face when you walked through the door with your suitcase was any indication. When he tried to question Hitomi about whether or not it’s such a good idea for you to stay, she wasn’t having any of it and told him that you’re a friend in need.

Hitomi’s so sweet and caring that you feel a twinge of guilt for plotting to seduce her father in her house when she’s none the wiser. She just wanted to lend a helping hand by letting you stay with them, oblivious to your true plans, but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

Now that you’re under the same roof, all you really want to do is ambush Keishin as soon as possible, but you have to plan around Hitomi’s schedule so you have bide your time. What’s the saying? Good things come to those who wait?

And wait you do. You wait for two whole weeks, in fact. But then the stars align so perfectly that some otherworldly force must be looking out for you.

Hitomi is gone to work and won’t be back until the middle of the night when her shift is over, while Keishin is home reviewing footage from his team’s latest game.

He told you he does this right before a big game so he can tell his players what they need to improve on and get in that last bit of refinement before the day of. When he clued you in on his strategy you just nodded and hummed, not really listening, mostly focused on ogling his muscles through his thin t-shirt.

Your nerves have been buzzing since you woke up this morning, sensing the heaviness in the air. You’re wearing your prettiest lace panties and its matching bra and frankly, you’re feeling pretty damn confident. You look good and you know you look good. If you were trying to seduce any guy your age, they’d drop their pants as soon as they got a little glimpse of your underwear, but Keishin’s not any guy your age. He needs a little convincing, a little push in the right direction, and you’ll be the one to help him.

You’ve flitted around the house all day, just trying to find the right moment to pounce.

Currently, Keishin is sitting in the living room watching the recording on the big flat screen in the living room. He looks preoccupied with taking notes on the notepad in his lap, but it’s now or never, you suppose.

Before you try to talk yourself out of it, you stride over to where he’s sitting and put your hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

“Hey. Did you need something? I’m kind of busy analyzing my team’s last game.”

Not wanting to lose your nerve, you wordlessly swing one leg over his, then the other, planting yourself firmly in his lap. His entire body goes ramrod stiff, hands jerking away from your body as if you’ve burned him.

“W-what do you think you’re doing?” he stutters, alarm evident in his voice.

When he makes no move to throw you off his lap, you wrap your arms around his neck and lean into him, pressing your chest to his.

“What we both have been wanting to do since the day I met you,” you purr, lips barely brushing against the shell of his ear. He shivers when you gently nibble on his earlobe and your confidence only grows as you discover that he wants this just as much as you do.

“I d-don’t know what you’re talking about. This isn't right. I’m your friend’s father and I’m... old enough to be y-yours,” he mutters, running a hand through his already messy hair, conflicted with how to proceed.

You can’t tell whether he’s trying to convince you or himself, so you decide to give him a little encouragement.

Leaning back slightly, you run your hands down his chest and bite your lip. “Are we going to keep playing games or are you gonna fuck me? Because if not, I’ve got several guys back at college who—”

You’re cut off when Keishin’s hand wraps around your throat, the other braced against your back to pull you flush against him.

“You think your little stunts are cute, don’t you?” he growls, his minty breath washing over your face.

“What, you don’t think so, Daddy?” you pout, batting your eyelashes at him innocently.

His eyes flash with something hot and primal and you can feel the gush of wetness between your thighs. “I’m getting a little tired of them,” he growls.

“This,” you palm at the bulge straining against his pants, “Tells me otherwise, you know.”

The hand around your throat tightens, cutting off whatever bratty remark you were about to make. “I’ve had enough of you prancing around my home in tiny skirts and flashing me your panties when my daughter is around. It’s unbecoming.”

“Then t-teach me a lesson,” you gasp, struggling to speak with Keishin’s fingers so firmly wrapped around your throat.

The way he grins is downright sinful and it stokes the fire already raging inside you. “Careful what you wish for, little girl.”

With some manhandling on Keishin’s part, you’re shoved toward the couch then pulled back onto his lap, but this time you’re on your stomach and both your wrists are pinned behind your back.

“Before we go any further,” he starts, trailing his fingers down your spine and leaving goosebumps in their wake. “I have to ask… How old are you?”

You twist around to look him in the eyes, a defiant smirk on your face. “Old enough.” Your mischievous giggle is cut off by a swift, firm slap to your ass.

“Watch the lip, brat. I need a little more reassurance than that.”

“Since you’re just so concerned, I’m nineteen. Perfectly legal and more importantly, legally fuckable,” you say, punctuated by an enticing wiggle of your hips.

“Jesus, you’re two years younger than Tomi. What am I doing?” He seems lost in thought as the honorable side of him fights a losing battle against his baser, carnal instincts. Whatever reservations he has are thrown aside when you start to wiggle in his grasp, maneuvering yourself over his crotch to grind yourself against his hardness.

Keishin gathers your hair around his fist, harshly jerking your head so far backwards that your spine aches from the unnatural angle.

“Stop fucking squirming. You just don’t know how to behave, do you?” It’s phrased like a question, but he shoves two of his fingers in your mouth so you can’t respond.

You knew Keishin would be the perfect dom, but the ease with which he settles into the role makes your head spin and your insides throb. Latching onto his digits, you lick and suck like the good girl you are, coating them in saliva as he hums in appreciation.

“Foo wans tuh behav wen thith is wutt I ge fo bein ba?” you ask, garbled and muffled by the fingers massaging the back of your tongue.

A series of harder, heavier spanks make you squeal and squirm even more in his lap. He gently rubs his hand over your warm, stinging flesh as he speaks. “Such a troublemaker. Just what am I going to do with you, hm?” He tries to sound admonishing, but you can tell he’s smiling behind his words.

His hand leaves your ass, no doubt raised to spank you again, but before he can, you bite down on his fingers. Not too hard, just enough for him to jerk them out of your mouth. “You can do whatever you want to me, Daddy.”

You jolt when his thumb rubs against your pussy through your panties. They’re soaked with your slick, the material clinging to your skin uncomfortably. The barest touch has you gasping and pushing your hips back for more. You’re so sensitive from the teasing and you’re so turned on you just might pass out if you’re not filled up soon.

Keishin just laughs darkly at the pathetic humping of your hips and you can feel the rumbling in his chest. “This is what I love about girls your age. So sensitive…” He pulls your panties aside and gently eases a finger inside you, then another as you moan and shake in his lap. “And so reactive. I bet you’d cum just from me putting my cock inside this tight, wet cunt, wouldn’t you?”

He speaks with a hint of condescension that has you clenching around his digits, coating them in sticky, syrupy strands of your arousal as they pump in and out of you. You’d almost be embarrassed at how worked up you are if you had more self respect, but you don’t. All you can focus on is the way his fingertips curl into the little spongy spot inside you that makes you whine.

“Why don’t you try it and find out?” The challenge in your voice is severely dampened by how breathless and wrecked you are even though you haven’t really even done anything.

His fingers pull out of you with a lewd squelching sound and you can hear him suck them into his mouth. “You taste even better than I imagined, but I want to taste that sweet pussy of yours. Up, little girl.” He coaxes you from his lap and onto the couch so your back is nestled into the cushions.

Sweat is making hair stick to your forehead and you’re breathing so heavily you’d think you just ran a marathon, but Keishin is looking down at you like you’re the most beautiful thing in the world and it nearly steals what little breath you have left in your lungs.

Oxygen is the last thing on your mind when his lips slot themselves between yours, soft yet demanding as they suck and lick. The movement of his lips doesn’t falter when he pulls your shirt over your head to reveal your light pink bra. Keishin pulls back to kiss along your collarbones, neck, and chest, his teeth occasionally nipping your sensitive flesh and leaving goosebumps in their wake. He expertly removes your panties with one hand so you’re left in just your plaid skirt, exposing your heated flesh to the coolness of the living room.

You’re nearly naked but he’s wearing far too many clothes for your liking, so you blindly grab at his shirt, but your fingers are shaking too much for you to get a good grip. Once he realizes what you’re trying to do, he puts his hands over yours and helps you take off his shirt. You nearly start drooling when all of his hard, rippling muscles and smooth, tan skin are finally revealed to your greedy eyes that can’t seem to settle one thing. You don’t know if you’ll get this opportunity again and you want to remember everything in painstaking detail, especially Keishin’s gorgeous body.

He momentarily disentangles himself from you to remove his jeans, leaving him in just his Calvin Klein boxer briefs. The outline of his cock is evident as it strains against the blue material and you reach out to stroke it, but he just takes your hand in his.

He brings it to his lips, then kisses up your arm until he reaches your lips. “All in due time, sweet girl. I want to taste you first.” Your mouth is claimed in another hungry, bruising kiss and you squeal when Keishin takes your lip between his teeth and bites, blood rushing to the surface of your skin.

His head dips down to leave featherlight kisses and teasing licks down your chest and stomach before he’s resting between your thighs. You whimper pitifully as he spreads your legs, awaiting the feeling of a wet tongue or his fingers against your folds. When he doesn’t move for several beats, you come to the realization that he’s just watching the way your cunt twitches and clenches around nothing and the wetness that drips onto the couch each time your muscles contract. You quickly bring your legs together to hide yourself from his scrutinizing gaze, but he simply pries them open with little effort.

Keishin grabs your chin so you’ll look right at him, squirming from the intensity of his gaze. “Don’t you dare hide this pretty pussy from me, do you understand? I am going to devour you until I’ve had my fill and you’re going to just lie back and take it.”

You nod obediently, your impudence quickly dying, giving way to the burning ache between your legs that can only be sated by a long, hard fuck.

With a satisfied hum, he settles at the apex of your thighs and licks a long stripe from your quivering pussy to your swollen clit and your hips jerk from the contact. Strong hands pin your hips to the couch as you writhe in his firm grip. He gives your clit a soft, quick kiss before he takes it into his mouth and sucks. You grab fitfully at his hair, back arching and hips pressing into his mouth as you gasp and groan from the incredible feeling of his tongue on your sensitive flesh.

His tongue teases your entrance and your cunt twitches, anticipating the first thrust of his warm, wet muscle inside you. He occasionally dips into your hole, but never breaches your entrance and you think you might go mad if he doesn’t give you more.

“I-I need more, give me more,” you manage to gasp, grabbing a fistful of the pillow underneath you as the tightening in your belly gets stronger.

Keishin removes his mouth from your cunt just long enough to admonish you for your lack of respect. “You need to have more manners if you’re going to demand things of me,” he says, before latching back onto your swollen, twitching clit.

“Daddy, pleeease I need more. Ah! I want to cum!” Your voice is so high-pitched and whiny you almost don’t recognize yourself, but you’re nearly delirious from pleasure and your impending climax that’s been dangled over your head for what feels like hours.

“Now who am I to deny you when you ask so sweetly?”

He thrusts two of his digits inside you, reaching deep inside you and rubbing against your g-spot as he sucks your clit back into his mouth. You’re almost screaming at this point, clawing at his hair and humping your cunt against his face. The familiar tightening in your belly signals that you’re about to cum and your moans and cries get faster, louder as the promise of white hot pleasure is just within reach—

It’s almost embarrassing how fast you’re teetering on the edge of climax, as if you’re a virgin school girl that’s never touched herself before. But maybe that’s the difference that years of experience can make.

Not that you care. You just want to cum.

“Fuck, Daddy, I—I’m close!”

Sensing your impending orgasm, the man uses his free hand to slap your cheek then grabs your throat. “Uh-uh-uh,” he tuts, “Ask Daddy for permission to cum.” You’re clamping down on his fingers impossibly tighter as he fingers you even deeper, and the way he sucks on your clit renders you incapable of speech. Each time you open your mouth to try to speak, more desperate, wanton noises escape your lips.

You’re about to fucking burst at the seams and you feel like you’re on fire, but you want to be a good girl for your daddy, so you use the last bit of brain power you have left to ask for permission.

“P-pleaaase Daddy may I ahhh! May I cum!” you ask, but you can’t even hear Keishin give his approval from how loud the blood rushing in your ears is as you finally cum.

You try to muffle your cries with the back of your hand, but he grabs your wrist and wrenches it away from your mouth.

“Don’t do that. I want to hear you scream.” His tone is clipped and short, not caring how rough he is with your delicate flesh.

If you weren’t already cumming, you would have from the pleasure that’s so intense, it’s almost painful as your body is wracked with tremors. Your legs snap around Keishin’s head and you grip his hair even tighter as wave upon wave of your orgasm washes over you. You hear someone screaming and wonder what’s happening, when you realize it’s you, you’re the one screaming as you ride out your climax.

He greedily slurps and sucks up every single drop of your release that you can give him, as if he was stranded in the desert for a thousand years and your juices are the first sip of water to hit his dry, parched tongue. Your cunt is already so sensitive, painfully clenching around his fingers, but he just. Doesn’t. Stop.

“Fuck, K-Kei, wait ‘s too much,” you weakly protest, but your body is too spent to resist so you just lie there, twitching and gasping as he keeps sucking on your overstimulated clit.

His lips detach from your poor, abused bud and you almost sigh in relief before the fingers inside your cunt pump faster, stimulating every inch of your gummy walls.

Keishin leans over your sweaty, exhausted form, one hand braced on the couch, the other buried inside you. His fingers are hitting a spot inside you that makes you feel the urge to pee, so you try to push his hand away but it’s futile with how much stronger he is than you.

“Hold onnn, I’m g-gonna—” you slur, panicked, but it’s as if he didn’t hear you.

His digits are relentless, rubbing and stroking and you’re a fucked out mess. You don’t know what he wants until an uncomfortable tightness shoots through your cunt. You cry out as clear liquid gushes out of you, splashing all over you, the couch, and Keishin. If you were more coherent, you might be mortified because you just… pissed on him—

To your surprise, he’s laughing as he removes his hand from inside you, ignoring your halfhearted groans. “I was hoping you’d do that,” he says, holding up his hand, shiny and dripping with your juices.

“D-Do what?” you pant, unsure of what just happened and why Keishin seems so smug.

He uses his discarded t-shirt to wipe his hand off, then dabs at your stomach where a sizable puddle accumulated. “Squirt,” he responds. When he sees your confused expression, he follows up with, “It’s not piss, if you’re worried about that.”

“Ooookay.” You’re too dazed and exhausted to argue with him or question him further, so you just flop into the sofa and close your eyes.

“C’mon, little girl, don't tell me that’s all you’ve got. You were talking so much shit earlier and I have so much more to give you.” Despite how tired you are, his words spark new arousal in your belly and defiance revitalizes you, movement returning to your limbs.

You slide a hand down your stomach and spread the puffy lips of your cunt, sliding a finger through your wetness. “Of course it’s not. I’m ready to take that hard cock of yours, Daddy.”

“Attagirl, that’s what I like to see,” he praises, dropping his underwear and sliding them somewhere you can’t see.

His cock is gorgeous, but that doesn’t come as a surprise, considering the man it belongs to. It’s thick and curved in a way that you know will reach the deepest parts of you.

What you weren’t expecting is the many piercings adorning the shaft and the one that goes through the head. A long curved barbell enters through the tip and exits through the underside of his glans. Three evenly spaced rings are embedded in the skin where his shaft meets his balls. You’ve never seen so many piercings on one man, let alone in such a sensitive place, so you gawk at the smooth metal rings that shine in the overhead lights.

“You’re… You have…”

He grins widely and it’s so devilish you think he might swallow you whole and honestly? You’d let him. You’d let him do whatever he wants to you. “Haha, yeah I get that reaction a lot. Never seen a pierced cock before, huh?”

“No, but there’s a first time for everything. I’m dying to see how those,” you point to his piercings, “Feel inside me.”

Keishin wordlessly climbs on top of you and rubs the head against your wetness, spreading it along his shaft to ease his entry. “They’ll feel fucking incredible, but you’ll have to beg for it.”

You scoff, reaching to grab his hips so he’ll fuck you already, but he scoots backwards so you can’t touch him.

“Naughty girls that misbehave don’t get fucked, so you’d better smarten up quickly,” he warns, making you gasp as he thrusts his cock against your clit.

He lazily nudges the head over your flesh, occasionally letting it catch on the tight ring of muscle around your hole. When he slots between your pussy lips, you try to wiggle and hump your hips in his direction, in hopes that he’ll slide right in.

But he doesn’t, and you’re about to go mad with his cock so close, but so far away.

“Please fuck me Daddy. I need your cock so bad!” You’re on the verge of tears, the buildup of the last few weeks overwhelming your senses.

Making a noise of sympathy, Keishin pets your hair affectionately and kisses your cheek. “All you had to do was ask.”

His hips pull back, then he’s thrusting inside you, sheathing himself to the hilt in your tight heat. You whimper and whine at the sudden intrusion, but any pain you feel is overshadowed by the way that his cock is filling you so full. The burn and stretch hurts so fucking good that your orgasm hits you like a freight train, fast and hard and blinding. Keishin fucks you through it, his cock touching all of the sensitive spots inside you and the pleasure is so strong you have to screw your eyes shut as you cry out and fall apart around him.

When you open them again, the man is staring down at you with the most shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen. “See? I said you’d cum as soon as I put my cock inside you.”

Using all the strength you can muster, you slap his arm. “Shut up and just fuck me.”

“You still haven’t learned your manners, but I just can’t wait to shoot my cum deep inside this cute cunt of yours,” Keishin groans, pulling almost all the way out before burying himself back inside the hot, welcoming clutch of your pussy.

You can feel each of the metal rings on his cock, foreign and strange, but the odd feeling soon fades to little shocks of ecstasy each time they brush against your insides.

The lewd slapping sounds of skin on skin are all you can hear besides the occasional moan or hiss from the man fucking you within an inch of your life, not that you can focus on anything else right now.

You nudge at Keishin’s shoulder and he stops the rapid pistoning of his hips, an almost annoyed look on his face.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, but you just smile and push him backwards onto the couch, just like you were. He grunts in surprise as he falls backward, but he quickly quiets down when you climb on top of him and sink yourself back down on his length.

You both moan in unison as he fills you once more, the tip of his cock pressing against your cervix each time you force your cunt back down on him. His hands wander to your tits, grabbing, squeezing, and pinching the sensitive buds of your nipples.

Ever the troublemaker, you can’t resist making a jab at him now that you’re on top. “I wonder what she’d do if she knew you were with me right now. What would your daughter say about you taking advantage of a young, helpless girl?”

Keishin takes that moment to pull you against him, thrusting hard and rough into your gummy walls that never stop pulsing around him. You’re shaking and gasping, your tongue lolling out of your mouth in your pleasured delirium. “With the way your greedy, sloppy cunt is clenching around me, I wouldn’t say I’m taking advantage of you,” he points out, only slightly out of breath. “But you get off on this, don’t you? Letting an old man like me fuck you. I’m old enough to be your father.”

“Like you’re any b-better,” you bite back.

You cry out when Keishin starts rubbing your swollen clit in tight little circles, your third orgasm fast approaching.

“Fuck! I can—urgh, I can feel your pussy pulsing around me. I’m g-gonna cum,” he grits out, thrusting impossibly deeper inside you. He's pressed so far into you, he’s just thumping the head of his cock against your cervix. You scream and write in his arms, seeking to relieve the sharp burning in your womb just a little bit, but he has you firmly locked in his clutches. “Be a good little girl and cum for Daddy.”

Almost on command, you shake and moan, loud and long, as you cream all over his cock and coat the base in milky white. “Oh fuck, oh god! D-Daddy I’m cu-mming!” you wail with the last of your energy.

You’re so exhausted you go limp against him and let him use your body as a fuck toy until he reaches his climax. Keishin follows soon behind you, his thrusts growing sloppier and less coordinated as he mumbles obscenities under his breath. “Shit shit shit, fuck I’m cumming! I’m gonna—fuck!”

With one last thrust into your fluttering, over stimulated cunt he orgasms, his legs shaking as he shoots rope after rope of cum into your quivering womb.

You both lay there for several minutes to catch your breaths. You’re so sore and boneless you can barely move, but you manage to extricate yourself from Keishin’s long limbs. Leaning into the arm of the couch, you let your eyes flutter closed and allow sleep to take you.

You’re awoken by a warm, wet washcloth rubbing against your sensitive folds and you whine, sleepily wiggling your hips to get away from the discomfort. “Kid, I know it doesn’t feel good but, uh, it’s kind of a mess down there. You can go back to sleep, just let me clean you up.” Keishin’s familiar timbre comforts you so you settle back down, still half asleep.

“Mmm, Keishin?” you mumble, making grabby hands at the man.

He takes one of your hands in his. “Yeah?” he responds as he wipes the washcloth between your legs with his other hand.

You rub your face against his hand before placing a sloppy kiss on top of it. “Thank youuuu,” you slur.

Keishin just chuckles and rubs his fingers over your knuckles. “Yeah kid, you’re welcome. Just get some rest, alright?”

You’re asleep before he even finishes the sentence.

----

When you awaken it’s dark, most likely the middle of the night. There’s a blanket thrown over your unexpectedly clothed body, which is now covered in a worn, oversized shirt. It smells like fabric softener and musk, so you figure it must be Keishin’s.

Looking around, you bolt upright when you realize you’re not on the living room couch anymore, you’re now in a large, comfortable bed.

The sound of a deep, rumbling voice draws your attention to the bathroom connected to the room you’re currently in. “Oh, you’re finally awake,” Keishin says sheepishly as he emerges from the bathroom, then points to the nightstand next to you. “There’s some water and ibuprofen, you should take it. Even if you’re not sore now, you will be later.”

You chuckle tiredly as you stretch your overworked muscles. “I’m already sore, so I’ll definitely be taking these.”

He sits awkwardly on the side of the bed, unsure how to treat you after your little encounter. His brows are furrowed, a deep frown on he’s seemingly deep in thought.

“Whatever you’re thinking, just spit it out.” His head immediately snaps to you, eyes guarded and unreadable.

“What we did downstairs, it’s… not right. I’m supposed to protect young, impressionable girls like you. I’m a father—I would die if Tomi was after a man more than twice her age.”

You pull the blanket off of you and climb over to where the older man is seated on the mattress. “Keishin, let me ask you something.” He lifts his head, expectant. “Did you enjoy what we did? Because I did.” He nods slowly, still unsure what you’re getting at.

Taking his face in your hands, you tell him what you’ve been thinking for weeks. “At the end of the day, we’re two consenting adults who partook in consensual activities. Even if someone wants to clutch their pearls because you’re older than me, who cares?”

“Yeah, I get that, but… It has to be some sort of ethics violation on my part. You’re younger than my daughter, Bunny.”

“Even if it is, you have to allow yourself to live a little. Life is too short to deny yourself pleasures the world has to offer, and I don’t know about you, but I was very pleased by our… tryst.”

A cute blush spreads across Keishin’s cheeks as he remembers everything he said and did to you. “Aha, I was too. So, um… Would you want to do that again, sometime?” he asks, running a hand through his hair like he always does when he’s nervous.

You giggle and tackle him on the bed, wrapping your arms around him and squeezing. “Of course I do. We can even do it now, if you’d like…”

A couple hours later, just before Hitomi comes back, you limp across the hallway to your room and pass out, falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.

And that is how your little arrangement begins.

Most of your time is spent with Hitomi, mostly shopping and going out to eat when she has the day off, or just watching Netflix in her room when you’re both too tired to go anywhere.

However, in the wee hours of the morning when you’re sure that she’s asleep, you sneak up to her father’s bedroom and get fucked so hard and so good you can barely make it back to your bedroom before the sun rises.

It’s a good arrangement, you think, you both get what you want and your friend is none the wiser. You figure no harm, no foul. At the end of the winter break, Keishin will likely want to cut things off with you and you’ll go back to your college dorm as if nothing happened.

But the winter break isn’t over yet, and you plan on making the most of it.

Keishin has been fucking you into the mattress for so long, time no longer even makes sense anymore.

You’re sweaty and exhausted, muscles so sore and shaky, but the thrusting between your legs shows no signs of stopping anytime soon. The harsh grip on your hips will likely bruise, but luckily you can hide them, unlike the few close calls you’ve had with poorly-placed marks on your neck.

Despite your exhaustion, you continue to meet Keishin’s thrusts by humping your hips back at him.

He gives your ass a harsh spank and fucks into you harder, making you whine and clench around him. “You’re an insatiable little thing, aren’t you? So fucked out and dripping with my cum, yet you still want more,” he says, but all you can do is gasp in response. You’re too far gone to produce any meaningful response. “What am I going to do with you?” If you had the energy, you’d tell him whatever he wants, but you don’t and the familiar tug of an orgasm is too hard to ignore.

“Fuck Daddy, I-I’m—”

Suddenly, his phone comes to life, Hitomi’s face lighting up the screen as it vibrates. The pistoning of his hips slows, then stops completely as he reaches over and grabs it off the nightstand.

He suddenly pulls out of your sore, abused cunt and you almost whine at the loss before he buries himself back inside you. The way your face is pressed into the mattress makes it difficult, but you manage to turn your head to see what Keishin is doing behind you.

Your eyes widen and you try to wriggle out of his grip when you figure out that he’s going to answer his phone as he keeps fucking you.

A hand wraps around your neck, lifting you up from your position on the bed and you have to follow its movement to prevent your windpipe from getting crushed. You’re pressed against Keishin’s hard chest, and his cock is nestled right against your cervix. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll just stay still and take it like a good little girl.”

The harsh grip on your neck releases and you’re shoved back into the bed, falling onto the comforter.

Keishin sounds completely normal when he answers his phone and it almost pisses you off—how can he be so unaffected when you’re at your wit’s end?

He chirps into the phone, “Hey sweetheart, what’s up?” The only indication that anything is amiss is the slight breathlessness in his voice and the occasional curse under his breath.

He forces himself even deeper inside you so forcefully that you’re afraid he’ll punch straight through to your womb. You know it’s not possible, but with Keishin, it just might be. He’s always full of surprises, especially when it comes to your body.

“Oh yeah, sure I can drop it off to you later. I’m just a little… preoccupied at the moment,” he says with a sharp thrust of his hips and you can’t help the moan that escapes your lips. Keishin stiffens above you, waiting to see if Hitomi heard you through the phone.

“No, Hitomi, I’m not watching porn! But hold on a second, I think someone is at the door.” He sets the phone on the bed, muting the call as his cock hits your g-spot and you’re shaking, practically shivering in his arms. A couple of hard, coordinated rubs of your engorged clit and you’re cumming, gushing around him and keening as your muscles clench uncomfortably. You scream silently and fall limp onto the bed, unable to hold yourself up any longer.

You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve cum, but it’s to the point that each successive orgasm borders on the edge of pleasure and pain.

“Better keep quiet, wouldn’t want my daughter to hear you getting your pretty little cunt stuffed full of my cock,” Keishin snarls into your ear and you feel yourself clench painfully around him. Your body is just so worn out, but you know he won’t stop until he’s satisfied. “Or do you want her to know what a slut you are for her father?”

You shake your head vehemently, but the man inside you just chuckles as he keeps fucking you.

“Oh my god, oh fuck I-I…” You’re babbling nonsense to no one in particular.

“Ahh it was just-fuck, it was just some dude trying to sell me security cameras. Anyways, I’ll see you later honey, I love you.” His last few sentences sound rushed, urgent and you can tell from the twitching of his length that he’s close. The moment the phone is hung up, Keishin cages you between his body and the mattress. “Your cunt feels so fucking good, I’m gonna fill you up with my cum. Would you like that?”

You try to nod and make a noise akin to ‘mhm,’ but you’re not sure what it sounds like. You’re not really sure of anything right now, but what you are sure of is you want him to cum inside you.

“I could never deny you anything, sweet girl,” he groans.

Keishin fucks into you harder, faster, and it feels as if he’s quite literally rearranging your guts, he’s so deep inside you. He reaches down between your legs and pinches your sensitive bud between his fingers. “Think you have one more in you, hm?” he asks, but he doesn’t wait for your answer. Of course you do.” He rubs your sore clit the way he knows will have you shaking and coming apart around him.

“Fuck Daddy, fuck I’m cumming!” you squeal, writhing and squirming from the painful, aching tightness of your orgasm as it builds once more.

“Ergh, fuck yeah, cum on Daddy’s cock as he fills you up. You’re such a good fucking girl for me, I love this sweet pussy.”

You shriek as you cum, your climax so strong that your vision blurs at the edges and you convulse, sore muscles twitching with overuse.

“Daddy’s gonna breed his sweet little girl, fuck, feels so fucking good!” Keishin groans, burying himself as deeply as he can inside you and shooting his cum into your quivering hole. You sigh in relief at the feeling of his warm cum flooding your womb, thankful he finally came because you couldn’t have lasted much longer in your state.

He flops next to you on the bed, sweaty and exhausted from your hours-long fuck marathon. Throwing an arm over your waist, he pulls you to his chest and buries his nose in your neck.

Hitomi’s not supposed to come back for several hours, so you both deem it safe to fall asleep as you are. Just when you’re about to drift off, your phone buzzes from the bedside table.

You reach for your phone, expecting it to be some spam email.

Your heart stops, the whole world seems to freeze when you open the text message.

From: Tomie <3

So when were you going to tell me you’re fucking my dad?

#haikyuu smut #ukai x reader #ukai smut #haikyuu x reader #ukai keishin #server collab #bunny scribbles #hq smut #hq fanfic #hq reader insert #haikyuu imagines

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charlie-pippin-faraday · 3 years

Text

now i’m still undecided on heather vs. theresa and we’re currently at a 4-4 tie, and i’d love more votes before i make a final decision. but, i did promise some headcanons, so even though i don’t have an official name yet, i’m giving you my headcanons now anyway

so, presenting: my headcanons about Eddie’s mother [this got a little lengthy but i have a lot of thoughts]

She's a fairly young mom. Like, not absurdly young, but definitely on the younger side. Like, I imagine her being like 25/26 when Eddie was born. And she's aged well, too, she looks good for her age

She looks EXACTLY like Eddie. He got EVERY physical trait from his mother and absolutely none from his father. She's got the blonde hair, hazel eyes, similar facial features. Like, you can tell on sight that they're mother and son

She doesn't sell herself as the "cool mom" and she doesn't TRY to be a "cool mom" but she is the cool mom

All of Eddie's friends in America think she's a "hot mom." This also extends to the Anubis gang. The day Jerome and Alfie meet her for the first time they go woah dude you have a hot mum. They bring this up a lot just to drive Eddie nuts. Jerome also threatens to flirt with his mother and become his new step-father, and Eddie seriously considers beating him up on the spot

Also the day Jerome and Alfie learn the phrase "MILF" is the day Eddie stops knowing peace, and he seriously considers throwing himself into the Atlantic Ocean

She is very sharp and smart, but not like a nerd or anything

She's a really big sports fan, and that's the reason why Eddie is super into all the New York sports; she brought him up that way, and he took to it like a fish to water. They love to go to games together

She is really enthusiastic, friendly, and warm. She's definitely a talker. She wants to hear about what's going on in Eddie's life, and she wants him to feel comfortable talking to her about anything

She definitely has a gossipy group of friends, like a book club or something. And she loves to tell them about Patricia and how her son is head-over-heels in love with this incredibly delightful girl

She is an INCREDIBLY patient woman; she has to be to deal with Eddie's anger and abandonment issues and teen rebellion. He acts out and gets in trouble and even gets kicked out of school but she keeps her cool. She's definitely the authority in the house, but she's probably not as tough on him as she has a right to be because she understands. She gets it; he's angry, he's upset, he's going through stuff that most teens don't have to. He needs support much more than he needs discipline

It's really awkward to be a teen boy and have your mom be the one who gets you through puberty and teach you all the growing up stuff, but they did it

She and Eddie are very close. Not like an unhealthy amount, and not to the point where he'd call his mom his "friend," but they are definitely closer than the average mother and son. It was just the two of them growing up in their house, they were all they had, really. Eddie was a complete momma's boy from birth, and still is. Eddie cried the first day of kindergarten when he had to leave her, and she tells Patricia this and Eddie is mortified

Eddie also calls her all the time when he's at school in England

Like Eddie, she was also a troublemaker in her youth; that's where he gets it from. She's adventurous, and she loved to sneak out, have fun, get into trouble. She also loved to instigate fights/drama at like family Thanksgiving and sit back and watch the world burn

Eddie grew up in New York; that's where they lived, they're New Yorkers. But, some time after Eddie goes to college, she moves out of the city and into New Jersey. Eddie sees it as a complete betrayal of "our people."

She hated absolutely every one of Eddie's previous girlfriends/dates before Patricia. She thought all those girls were shallow and dull, and she always thought Eddie could do better

She LOVES Patricia to the end of the earth. Like the SECOND she meets her she thinks "I want her to be my daughter." She loves her fire, she loves every little thing about her personality, but mainly she loves how deeply her son is in love with her; like, she can see that Eddie is absolutely smitten by this girl. And she loves him back, she can see that. She loves Patricia so much that Eddie starts to think she's starting to like Patricia more than him, which bristles the momma's boy just a little bit. She shows Patricia all of Eddie's old embarrassing childhood photos and moments, she joins Patricia in roasting Eddie, and she tells Patricia if there's ever anything she needs or if she just wants to talk she's always just a phone call away (Patricia definitely takes advantage of this offer, often). Patricia reminds her a little bit of herself, which is another reason why she likes her. After they graduate she tries to start manifesting their engagement and put those vibes out into the air

I imagine she met Eric when she was fairly young, early 20s. Here's how I personally imagine it went down: Eric went to New York for some kind of teaching training/program or job opportunity. They met at the New York public library, and a passionate love affair started from there. She thought he was sophisticated and she loved listening to him talk about the things he was passionate about, and they could have smart discussions together. Also she loved his accent. Her family members were not the biggest fans of this relationship: he was a good bit older than her, and he was from another country so they thought he wouldn't stay, and they thought it was moving at an incredibly torrid pace. Being the rebel that she was, she just went "well this just makes me want to do it more." And it did indeed move fast, and things were good for awhile. Until they weren't.

Eric left shortly after Eddie was born. Like, a few months. He just up and left, and she didn't really hear from him again for about 16 years. And she HATED him for it. He left her alone with this new baby. She was MAD and UPSET. Eventually that calmed down to bitterness, but that bitterness never died. She is STILL bitter towards him to this day, and tbh she'll take every chance she can get to be petty to him

Raising Eddie on her own was really hard, and scary. But she bucked up and did it because she loves that boy with her entire heart. Eddie doesn't really recognize it or appreciate it as a child, but when he grows up he calls his mom one of the bravest people he knows

She never got remarried and never even really dated; being a mom was her top priority

She thought the hardest day of her life was the day that Eric left, but no. That wasn't nearly the hardest day of her life. The hardest day of her life was the day child Eddie asked "why don't I have a dad like the other kids at school?" and she had to tell him what happened, or at least as much as he would understand, knowing that it would break his little heart

It was really painful for her to send Eddie off to boarding school in England. It made her really emotional to send him off with his father, who hurt the both of them, and whom she's still really bitter towards. But she knows he deserves the chance to get to know his father. And aside from like summer camps and such, this is the first time he'd be away from her for an extended period of time, and he's so FAR away, like that's her BABY. Her ONLY baby, the most precious thing in her world. She never tells him, but she cries like nobody's business after he gets on that airplane and flies away

She's got this fear that Eddie and his dad are gonna somehow get along SO well that he'll one day change his last name to Sweet. But, when Eddie not only says that that will NEVER happen and he'll stay a Miller, but that Patricia's also gonna take that last name when they get married and they'll be the Millers, she is overjoyed. And she has this feeling of satisfaction and vindication, like she won

#have a lot of thoughts and feelings about her #house of anubis #eddie miller #mrs. miller

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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 3 years

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Why does everyone hate the Dear Evan Hansen movie so much? I thought the Broadway show was like beloved??

Hello nonny dear! This got long because I am incapable of shutting up so this is below the cut.

So, quick disclaimer: I am not a fan of DEH as a musical. I never liked it, for a few reasons, the main one being a personal preference - I simply don't like stories where the entire plot is based on a person lying to people. It really, really stresses me out (it's why I can't watch a lot of comedies). I think part of it is being autistic - I don't understand why the person lied. You can try explaining it to me, I just won't understand. It doesn't compute in my brain. In related news, I tend to be a bad liar and also extremely blunt. So!

DEH as a musical was loved by a lot of people, specifically young people. I actually noticed a very similar trend with DEH that I did with RENT, which is a musical from my generation that is beloved by people my age but by older people not so much. RENT, like DEH, speaks to the opinions, viewpoints, and issues of younger people. RENT is full of youthful anger at an unfair system, at feeling powerless, at not being listened to, and it also speaks to that youthful love of rebellion and art for art's sake. DEH, on the other hand, speaks to young people's struggles to fit in, with feeling alone, with depression, and so on.

As pointed out in one of the reviews, part of why people liked DEH was that the character was so young. The fact that he was in high school was what sold the story. Who hasn't, in a mixture of awkwardness, good intentions, and desire to be valuable, done a questionable or even wrong thing? Who hasn't done something they thought was small, like a white lie, only to have that thing spiral out of control? Kids (and teenagers are kids, God bless you all, I say that with the most sincere and deep affection) do that shit all the time.

However, it's not as endearing in adults. Adults, you see, theoretically understand better the consequences of their actions, the far-reaching ramifications, and are just generally (supposedly) on top of their shit.

To watch an adult (and the main actor playing the title character is completely 100% an adult now) make the same mistakes as a teenager is not endearing. It's annoying. Because your brain RECOGNIZES he's an adult. This is actually why people have discussed the problems with casting 30-somethings as teenagers in TV shows, because we see those 30-somethings in very adult situations (I don't mean that in a "protect the children!" way) but also behaving like, well, teenagers? And so it creates a weird dichotomy in your head and it is literally confusing your brain.

So you have an adult that your brain knows is an adult, behaving like a child, and that is annoying to you. It's not endearing. It's bothersome.

Another reason is that DEH is no longer hot off the presses. Give any popular piece of work time, and you'll start to see the imperfections (although online culture take this way too far and will rip any piece of media to pieces for not being flawless and perfect). A lot of people, again, especially young people (everyone I know who loved DEH was in high school or just starting college) connected with the characters and were grateful to have a story that was front and center about mental health issues. But now, time has passed. The initial rush of emotion connected to DEH is over, and people are able to view it with a more disconnected and therefore more critical eye.

I think, also, DEH fell into the trap that Prom did - Prom was not a perfect musical, and I think if I'd seen it on stage I would've thought of it as cute, sweet, and a bit forgettable. But the director made a LOT of mistakes in filming, such as in casting choices (James Corden please sit down) and in cinematography (he ruined dance numbers by zooming in on people's faces instead of zooming out and letting us watch them dance). I suspect DEH suffers from similar issues, since people often struggle to translate musical theatre to film.

It's oddly easier to suspend your disbelief when watching something on stage than watching it on film. In film, we have special effects, we have so much realism, we can make everything come alive, and so people have higher standards for it than in theatre where we all tacitly acknowledge that this isn't real but we're all here for a good time. The Lion King uses puppetry and large masks liberally. Avenue Q has hand puppets. Come From Away has actors in multiple roles, switching up using only minimal costume changes like hats or vests. Cats has no fuckin' plot whatsoever. But it's a lot harder to accept in film someone just belting out into song, so you have to find ways around that.

Chicago did a really great job by framing all musical numbers like you were in a cabaret show, firmly putting you in a dreamscape of the heads of the characters. They're not really singing, this is what they feel in their minds. In the Heights had a framing device where he's telling the story to kids and had the main character cheekily address the camera, breaking the fourth wall almost immediately. Cabaret swung hard the other way and was completely diegetic.

DEH, I suspect, did not put in the ground work to help you suspend your disbelief, which just made the flaws that much stronger. I always thought the songs in DEH are mediocre, and it seems film critics agree with me. And when the rest of the musical is going wrong (songs, casting, camera shots, etc) it makes it easier to see the glaring flaw which is the fact that the title character exploits someone's suicide for his own gain. He doesn't just lie (at least not in the film) - he creates fake email exchanges between himself and the dead teenager to fabricate the lie and sell it, so that he can get the love and sympathy he craves.

Not exactly a likable person, even a teenager, but especially when the teenager is played by a 30-something who looks it. The other characters are just as flat, and the musical makes a (sort of) villain of the one character who's genuinely being selfless.

Finally, a film can include details, thanks to camera shots, that a musical on stage can't. There's a scene in the film that I can't recall being in the musical (I could be wrong!) where the title character looks up the dead teen's favorite books list in the yearbook. The books are so stereotypical "suicidal teens read this" that I could vomit. Little things like that take a flawed story and push it into the realm of insulting.

Now, I admit, I am biased. I do not like this musical and have not for some time. I'm forever angry that it won Tony awards when Bandstand should have instead. I feel Bandstand handled mental health issues (ranging from PTSD to alcoholism to grief to depression) in a much better and more nuanced way. It didn't show one teenager exploiting another (dead) teenager for social clout. The songs were highly original and inspired, and of a jazzy 40s style we don't often see anymore but still felt fresh and connecting to a 21st century audience. Listening to DEH on the other hand I think, "well I've heard this all a million times before."

I also didn't like how it handled mental health, and I found the main character completely unsympathetic and manipulating. The fact that he was a straight white boy made it all worse. I am sick and fucking tired of stories about straight white boys fucking up, being apathetic and mediocre, and still earning sympathy and second chances from both other characters and the audience. I personally feel that all the bad reviews about the DEH movie are a long time coming and I am feeling extremely vindicated right now, since people are finally agreeing with me that this musical does not deserve the praise it initially received.

But! That is my own personal opinion. I hope that, if you or anyone else did like the musical, or are confused, you will note my previous thoughts about why the film is not being as well received. Translating musicals to film is hard, and this film made several blunders that both added to and enhanced earlier flaws in the musical.

#mads answers things #I hope I was able to explain why people aren't liking the film #while keeping my grudge/biases mostly out of it #my extra-petty opinion is that it's a crappy musical and people are finally realizing it #but I hope my answer showed some kinder and more technical reasons why there might be a dichotomy here

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pearl-blue-musings · 3 years

Text

Unforgettable pt. 4

HI FAM

WOWOWOW SORRY THAT THIS UPDATE IS SO LATE I HAD A HARD TIME BRINGING THIS OUT IN THE WAY I WANTED.

Pairing: Dabi/Touya Todoroki x fem!reader x Hawks/Keigo Takami

Warnings: language, a hint of angst

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night you returned from your secret adventure was filled with confusing emotions. Why did talking to that covered stranger, whom you now know as Dabi, come so naturally? Why was it so easy, despite the fact that he’s a villain? And why, God why did touching pinkies send a jolt through your body leaving you unable to forget what that felt like.

You wish you could forget how that felt but you can’t. Not because of your quirk, but because it made you feel safe, made you feel differently than with your interactions with anyone else. Including Hawks.

But then a new feeling was emerging. It wasn’t just a sense of freedom; it was a form of vindication. You did something without the hero commission or Hawks knowing and the emotion was indescribable. Maybe this was your way out, your means of escaping the overprotective clutches of the hero commission. Who cares that they adopted and took you in off the street? The pros and cons of this are relatively even so the thought of escape finally feels within reach. Not just for you, but for Keigo as well.

You and Dabi had continued to meet up once, sometimes twice a week at the same spot on the same bench. You two never disclosed too much information about your work lives but gave enough information that was allowable. Dabi would talk of successful missions and failed trysts, always going off about an unmentionable master plan and a newbie that was bothering him. You would talk of stressors, your eventual dreams, and sometimes you’d sprinkle in bits of your past.

It was weird how Dabi was so interested in knowing more about your childhood friends and your relationship with them. You didn’t mind though, because finally you were able to talk about these things with someone who didn’t experience it or try to put a cap or limit on your feelings. You truly began to confide in him.

So much so, that 5 weeks into your meetings you had allowed him to walk you home. He would drop you off a couple of blocks away, just in case anyone was nearby. Over the weeks, little bouts of affection between the two of you began to grow. Lengthened hugs, prolonged handshakes, lingering touches… Sometimes it reminded you of the closeness you have with Hawks, but something about these flittering touches seemed more intimate, more special.

You tried your best to calm the rush of emotions you would feel around him, chalking it up to be the feeling of harboring a secret and not getting caught. Yeah, that’s it. Tonight was one of your usual trips to the neighborhood grocery store that was sanctioned by the commission. They told you going out at night was better because less distractions and less of a chance to run into trouble that could lead to a potential overload. Bullshit, just what the hell were they really scared of?

As you’re walking back, noting the coolness in the air as you tug your scarf closer to you lips, you walk pass your secret meeting point. A hidden smirk comes to your face as you think of the number of times Dabi has met and left you at that spot.

That’s why it was weird for you to see someone in that exact spot right now.

Your curiosity got the best of you as you secure your bags closer to yourself. The overhead light is faded which makes it harder to see who is actually there. Your gut tells you to run and leave the person be, but a whisper changes your mind.

“(Y/n)…”

You gasp, almost dropping your bags as you approach the shadow.

“Dabi?”

Sneaking him into your apartment had your adrenaline pumping. You were bringing someone who wasn’t a hero into your home! A home secured by the hero commission and watched like a hawk. You trod along carefully, being aware of the blood coming from his stomach and legs and trying not to have any fall on the carpet. If anyone saw the bloodstains leading up to your door, they’d know something was up. Even now, his face is covered almost as if he was planning on coming to see you. Sure you two had talked about it, but even you knew how risky that was.

You hear him hiss beside you as you close the door to your apartment. You pull him closer to you as you take off his and your shoes. Once that’s done, you hurry him to the bathroom and sit him on the closed toilet.

“Okay, let me get a good look at you.”

Once you take him in, it takes all you have to not cry out. Despite the knowing charred skin, there’s blood coming from the middle of his shirt and some from his leg. Your eyes reach his face and you see there’s traces of blood as well. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what,” you mutter. You try you best to avoid his gaze but that doesn’t matter because his eyes are everywhere except yours.

“With pity. Like you’re sad for me.”

You reach for the first aid kit from your medicine cabinet and grab a towel. “But I am sad Dabi. Careful this may sting a bit.”

“That’ll be nothing. I’m used to pain.”

He notices you flinch when he says his truth. Since most of his body is burned and not compatible with his quirk, a little sting from alcohol won’t hurt him. He also takes note of the care you give him, not even wincing upon seeing his leg. You keep working up his body and you shyly ask him to take off his shirt so she can attend to the wound there.

His rough and warm calloused hand stops you. “Don’t.”

“Dabi, I have to in order to treat the wound. Please, just let me.”

His grip loosens and he mumbles out, “just don’t regret seeing me.”

You sigh deeply and start to remove his bloody and tattered shirt. Once it’s over his black locks, you can’t help the tiny squeak that leaves your lips. Scarred, charred, and stapled skin greets you. It’s gruesome, it’s painful, but it’s mostly saddening. To know that he deals with this every day hurts you more than you thought it would.

You begin to dab at the wound to help it heal and stop bleeding. It’s not lost on you that despite his scars, his physique is immaculate. Toned skin meets burned skin and the contrast in shades surprises you. You don’t feel your breath quicken as you finish working his stomach wound.

Your eyes finally meet his and you push yourself up to your knees. “Let me see your face.”

“Absolutely not.”

“I’m not gonna let you drag and spill blood all over my apartment. Let. Me. See.”

“Little mouse, be careful. You don’t want to get on my bad side right now. I’ve had a fucking night.”

“So let me help you! Please.”

His sapphire eyes darken at your pleading words and then soften. It was bound to happen eventually, maybe he’ll have to kill her now, regardless of how he feels or thinks he feels. His shoulders droop in defeat and you take that as an invitation. You come closer to him, slowly taking off the glasses obscuring his eyes. You’re immediately taken back by how beautiful his eyes are. They seem familiar, but everything feels familiar with him so you let it go.

Next, your hands graze his ear which you feel is slightly burned and covered in piercings. Slowly you unhook the strap around the back of his ear and do the same to his other ear. Dabi is now completely exposed to you. The scars and staples match the rest of his body, but they don’t take away from how handsome he actually is. Your hand naturally goes to his cheek to feel it underneath your fingertips. It’s rough but velvety, a comforting and very him touch.

You feel his hand grab the one on his cheek and you fear he wants to pull it away. However, he does the opposite and pushes it closer to his face, almost like he’s melting into your touch. He looks calm, relieved even. His eyes had shut naturally at your touch, nostalgia running rampant as the feel of your hand on his is something he thought he’d never feel again. He sighs lightly, not realizing how long he had been holding his breath.

This act is so intimate, but the two of you barely even recognize it as such. You raise your other hand with the towel to wipe away the blood spots that taint his unmarred skin. He let’s you continue to clean him off as the sound of the light buzzing and the bathroom fan become the soundtrack for the evening. Once you finish wiping his face, he grabs your other hand which makes you drop the blood clad towel. Dabi pulls you in closer, now your lips merely inches apart. His eyes drop to your lips as they part ever so slightly and then back up to your eyes.

“Dabi I-“

He silences you by firmly placing his lips on yours. The kiss starts out curiously slow, as you two take time to take in the feel of each others lips. Unlike him, he waits for you to feel comfortable before pressing deeper into your lips. His tongue invades your mouth and you welcome it, causing Dabi to moan slightly at the feeling. You pull back, perturbed by the noise and your eyes go wide.

“I’m sorry, did I do something weird?”

He chuckles and brings your forehead to his. “Doll,” he pauses to find his words but comes up empty, “shut up.” He pulls you in again, this time with conviction. Your confidence soars as you start to roam your hands all over his body. You can tell he wants you to stop touching his scars but you keep on anyways, giving them tender touches. How long had it been since someone, more like you, had touched him in such a loving and caring manner?

Even when he was first getting burned from his quirk, you had been there when the both of you were younger. You had offered healing solutions and open arms when it seemed no one had cared. So part of him hoped that you would recognize a tid bit of the feelings he wants you to feel, to experience within this kiss. He wants to press on more into the kiss but he knows better. He always does.

So he pulls away.

“Why,” you pant, “why did you stop?”

Dabi bites at his burned lip with lust blown eyes. “Wouldn’t this be better not in a bathroom?” You become flustered at that and remove yourself from the man in front of you. He stands up with you and you want to aid him because of his wounds. “It doesn’t hurt as much as you think it might.” You two walk out of the bathroom into the partially lit hallway. He stops your progress by pressing you into the wall. He growls out, “c’mere.”

The wall behind you supported you as he stole your breath. You never thought you could feel this way with someone again. Not to say that you haven’t, but relationships never progressed this far. However, as you briefly break for air, you think about the only other person who has ever given your heart butterflies without you realizing it.

“Hey kid, I had some time to sneak away and-“

Your heart rate shot up at the unexpected intruder. Anxiety began to swell as you took in the scene before you. Hawks was here in your apartment watching you make out with a villain he may or may not know. “Ke- ah Hawks! What, uh, are you doing here?” You barely register Dabi glaring at your longtime friend as your thoughts race a mile a minute.

Hawks is completely unsure of what the fuck he’s seeing. Why was he pressed up against you? Why was he here? How did you actually meet this burnt guy? “(Y/n), what’s going on? Do you, do you know him?”

You understand what he meant but you couldn’t meet his intense stare. Your avoidance answered his own question and he relaxes his shoulders. He had to keep his cool and pretend that he is completely unaware that a grade A villain was making out with his best friend. His stomach dropped at that realization, which confused him greatly.

He continued to stare at Dabi who had the most sinister grin. The temptation to hurt him was immense but he held back. His golden eyes didn’t miss your blown out eyes and pouty lips. You really wanted Dabi? What was wrong with him? He knows he’s been gone for over a month but…

There’s that feeling in his stomach again.

Dabi breaks the silence in the cramped hallway. “You gonna turn me in hero? Gonna arrest me for messing with someone who’s precious to the hero commission?”

Keigo whips out his sword-like wings and aims it for his neck, recreating a scene they’ve done before. “Watch yourself. What are you doing here?”

“Clearly I was invited. Why are you here?”

Hawks steps closer. “I’ll be asking the questions,” he seethes. “Just how the hell do you know (Y/n)?”

“Hawks, please.”

“I met her in that park you had been scoping out for weeks for her.” He oozes confidence in a sly way as he presses the tip of the wing into his own neck. “If you take me here, they’re gonna know you two broke the rules. And from what she’s told me she’s on a tight leash.

“Wouldn’t want her to be put in a tighter cage now would we?”

Your eyes finally meet Keigo’s and realization settles in. He lowers his weapon and his gaze on yours softens. Shit, how did things get so fucked in the weirdest way? “Dove, did you really meet him there? And you know that he’s-“

“A villain,” you finish for him. “Yes I know. I didn’t plan on talking to anyone, but he was anonymous to me at the time. It felt nice having someone to talk to.” You subconsciously wrap your arms around yourself and sink into yourself. Keigo cautiously approaches you and places a comforting hand on your shoulder.

He sighs and then speaks, “I’m sorry. I haven’t been able to contact you and I wanted to check in on you. Guess I didn’t need to.” He steps away from you and you quickly felt colder.

“Hawks…”

“I’ll always be second won’t I?” He had meant to keep that to himself but the rhetorical question escaped his lips in a low whisper. You heard some of it and that made you heart lurch. Your heart had been going through a roller coaster the entire night.

Hawks then makes eye contact with Dabi. “Hey, can I talk to you? Alone.”

Dabi looks over to you and you nod at him and motion for the two of them to go out to your balcony. You walk back to your room and attempt to get a control on what was going on in your heart. How long had it been since you’ve had your heart torn and tugged in different directions? Ever since Dabi came in the picture and Keigo had gone undercover, your emotions had been a big jumbled mess and now it’s gotten more tangled.

The two men stand adjacent to the window, so only Hawks could potentially be seen from the outside. Hawks starts out first, “So this is who and where you’ve been running off to.”

Dabi scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Listen here bird brain, I still don’t like you or trust you. But (Y/n), she’s someone special to you isn’t she?”

“She’s my best friend since we were young,” he retorts.

“Hmm,” the ravenette ponders. “And how long have you been in love with her?”

That causes the blond to hesitate slightly at his response. Anger had dissipated from his being with just one question. “And how long have you had feelings for her huh?”

“You’re avoiding the question, hero. And what’s it to you? So what if I have feelings for her?”

Hawks chuckles darkly, “Shiggy isn’t gonna like that you know.” He stops to finally collect his own thoughts and how to handle this brand new information. “Look, I won’t tell anyone. Hero or villain, this stays between us.” The urge to cry hits him hard and he swallows it down as he always does whenever it comes to matters of his heart, especially regarding you. “And you better not hurt her.”

You had reentered the room to catch the last sentence Keigo says before meeting your eyes. He can tell that you heard what he had just said and slaps on a camera ready smile. You already know that those are fake, but you can’t imagine why he would fake a smile to you until you see his beautiful golden irises that shine like the sun.

They’re dull, somber, lacking the luster they usually have. And that makes your stomach do backflips. He flies out your window and into the cool night. Dabi comes up behind you and wraps his hands around your waist.

“Is he always this protective of you?”

You turn to face him and you glance up into his captivating eyes. This is a comfortable and welcoming place to be. But if Keigo made your stomach do backflips. Dabi’s made yours do frontflips.

And you weren’t sure which feeling was better or worse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @cupcake-rogue @shinsouskitten @luluwiie @kacchaneatsass @abonshit @kiribaku-queen

#my writing #i did the thing #unforgettable #dabi x reader #dabi x y/n #dabi x reader x hawks #touya todoroki x reader #touya todoroki #hawks x y/n #hawks x reader #keigo takami #takami keigo #takami keigo x reader

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kuroopaisen · 4 years

Text

imitheos. (oikawa tooru)

➵ oikawa barely recognises the god he used to be.

wc: 3.8k

warnings: gn!reader, greek god au, melancholia? angst? is that something to warn people about?

a/n: so this got away from me, and ended up half a character study, but,,, @kacchand (sorry for tagging this one but i couldn’t tag @kacchand-archive aa) thank you so much for the warm, lovely things you’ve said to me ever since stumbling across my blog, and for complimenting my oikawa specifically. it’s those sorts of compliments that makes me feel all soft!

Oikawa Tooru. He’s still not sure of the name. He never chooses them himself; they come to him, quite naturally, each time he assumes a new form. Each time he knits himself a backstory, he wonders what this life will bring. If it will be better than the last.

He hasn’t always been Oikawa Tooru. He’s been many other forms littered throughout history, recycling the same ego. And before each of those, he was Apollo.

Apollo had been a god amongst gods, deity of so much and so many. He could absolve men of guilt, gift mortals with the power of prophecy, balance their lives in his hands as he commanded the fate of their crops. Even the gods feared him, loved him, revered him.

But he is no longer Apollo. He is a whisper of him, a half-forgotten shadow.

His old name is everywhere. Rocket ships, theatres, philosophical concepts. He’s watched countless effigies to his old self shoot themselves into the sky, chasing a distance once thought unreachable. They always seem to take the light with them, blazing into the darkness.

But Apollo is just a name, now. Everything he used to symbolise seems to pass through him like white smoke.

It’s so hard to find the light in this endless winter.

Archery is just a niche hobby, now. Wars are won through other means.

Disease and the means to combat it are far past his sphere of influence now. Both continue to take on new and frightening forms that even he couldn’t conjure.

There is no space in this world for prophecy anymore. Such things are considered untruths, the trade of hackneyed swindlers masquerading as fortune tellers.

But poetry. Poetry refuses to die.

Sunday afternoon. The sky is already dark. Slam poetry night at a dingy little coffee shop. He’s sat in his usual spot, a dark corner that grants him a clear view of the makeshift stage at the back of the shop. It’s the best spot to melt away into, to become a true observer.

He’s not sure why he’s come here. The coffee itself isn’t particularly good, nor is the atmosphere of the place much to his liking. It’s a little dingy, reliant on weak oil lamps for light. He knows that it’s supposed to give off a retro vibe, but he thinks it just makes it miserable. There’s the smell of musk too, permeated through both wood and cushion.

But something is drawing him to this place. Something, beating against the fabric of the universe, is telling him that this is where he’s supposed to be.

He still doesn’t know why.

You smile at him from across the room, giving him a small wave. You usually work Sunday afternoons, right until close. He isn’t sure of your name, and usually, he wouldn’t care.

But every Sunday, you seem to take it upon yourself to fulfil his orders. Once upon a time, he would’ve been sure that it was his charm that induced you to do so; mortals often found it hard to resist the gods, after all. But he’s not so sure he can still claim that allure.

“You’re becoming a bit of a regular,” you smile, setting his drink down in front of him. Something made with honey, but he’s not sure what. He never pays much attention when he orders.

Oikawa raises an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“You’re always here on Sundays,” you nod, daring to meet his gaze. “But you’ve never performed yourself.”

Oikawa smiles. One person, at the very least, has noticed his existence. That’s as powerful as a prayer these days.

“I take it you’re a fan,” you remark, eyes scanning his face.

Oikawa nods. “You could say that.”

You smile. It’s small, and he wonders if it’s merely a nicety. “Of slam poetry in particular, or…”

Ah. Yes.

He wants to say it’s because he’s tired of typical poetry. Tired of all its embellishments and platitudes. Slam poetry is newer, younger, angrier. There’s a rawness to it, a rage that speaks to something more visceral in him. Pretty words are not enough anymore.

It’s an offering of something else, of a yearning he still struggles to place. It’s a call for something better, for change, for vindication.

But he won’t bore you with that. You’re just a waiter, making small talk to be polite.

“My preferences change often,” he shrugs.

He appraises you for a moment, clad in a button-up shirt and dress trousers, a charmingly small apron wrapped around your waist. He’s not paid you much mind before; maybe because he’s been looking too hard.

He once thought that this café was drawing him towards a modern muse, an echo of Melpomene. Or perhaps Erato? But it hadn’t been that at all. It had been a call to draw him to you.

For what, he can’t say. But this small moment, this little recognition in the back of a dingy coffee shop on a dour Sunday afternoon in the midst of winter, is the closest he’s felt to worship in aeons.

He fears, for a moment, that you might be Daphne. Or maybe Marpessa. He’s already lost another Hyacinth; not to death, but to the rhythm of life. The pull of a world to which Oikawa couldn’t follow. How long had it been since Hajime left?

Oikawa can’t say.

But he’s been so lonely. So faded.

Whoever you are, whoever you were, does not matter.

What matters is that you’re the first person in a very long time who can see him.

☉ ☉ ☉

“Back again,” you smile. Another drink with honey is placed in front of him. It’s the only thing he’s been ordering for the past few weeks.

He nods, looking up at you with a smile. He knows it’s dead behind the eyes, but he’s trying. He hopes, quietly, that the darkness will mask it.

“You must really enjoy the poetry,” you remark, looking over your shoulder.

One girl has just finished, face flushed with both nervousness and pride. She is young, perhaps barely seventeen, but with the fury of someone who knows too much about the horrors of the world. She’d done quite well by Oikawa’s account. He hadn’t derived much joy from it, but she certainly has potential.

“It’s okay,” he murmurs, taking a sip of his drink.

“Do you prefer more…” You pause, brow furrowed as you search for the words. “Traditional poetry?”

Oikawa shakes his head.

Perhaps his tastes would err more to the modern, if he knew more about it. But the fact of the matter is that he simply doesn’t have a clue. Too much time spent with volleyball preoccupying most of his thoughts, and very little time keeping up with the artistic scene of the last decade and a half.

He can’t speak as an expert. But he can speak as the god who invented poetry, who gave mortals the means with which to express their magnitudes. A gift, he’d said. To turn the human experience into something beautiful. But was it for them, or for him?

“The anger is sincere,” he muses, “And they all seem to have poured their soul into their poems.”

You nod, smiling at him. “I wish I was that creative, at their age.”

He looks at you. You look about the same age he should be; twenty-something, maybe? Young, perhaps still in university.

You’ve been spending your breaks with him for a few weeks now.

He doesn’t mind; in fact, he enjoys the company. And, you seem to care about what he has to say, which certainly fluffs his ego.

Why you would care so much about an odd, discreet man sitting in a dark corner of a coffee shop is beyond him.

But he wants to know why. Know more about you. What you love. What you desire.

“What do you want to do with your life?”

The question is sudden, perhaps a bit invasive. It flies from his lips before he has time to reassess it, to craft it into something a bit less intense. He fears, for a moment, that it might scare you – that it might be a bit too much.

But you laugh, tilting your head at him. “That’s a bit of a big question, don’t you think?”

He smiles. “You must have some idea.”

You sigh, shrugging. “I’m not sure, to be honest. I need to survive university before I can start worrying about that sort of stuff.”

He hums.

“What about you?” You ask, polite smile gracing your lips.

He bites the inside of his cheek, his brows creasing. “Not sure.”

He might have dreamed of greatness a while ago. He would’ve chased volleyball, brilliant and vibrant as he was.

Who would have thought that Apollo would find his heart in something so coarse as sport? For a moment, however brief, he’d felt like he might be able to shrug off this immortal shackle. To exist for himself, and not as a mere echo reliant on mortal belief. To maybe, finally, have a chance to live as he wanted to, dictated by his own desires.

That last spark of vibrant humanity had spluttered out the day they lost that one fateful match.

He had wanted to chase his own dreams, the tangible passions he’d discovered as a mortal. He hadn’t wanted to be this, a pathetic half-god that was fading into the grey. But that was the trappings of his dying godhood – a life half-lived, a dream unfulfilled. Where would he be, if he had been able to take on the world as Oikawa Tooru?

Happier, he supposes. Though, he can’t be sure. Because maybe this early evening, grey and cold and bitter, almost tastes like happiness. Almost. And he knows why.

☉ ☉ ☉

There’s a glow to him. He doesn’t notice it; he’s been brighter in the past, blindingly radiant. He was once considered the most beautiful of the gods for a reason.

But to you, this distant, peculiar man is beautiful. There’s something of a fallen giant to him; is he the sort of person whose glory days has long since passed? Had he been a high school hero maybe?

There’s something else to him, too. Something strange. Something esoteric.

You don’t quite know how to explain it.

It’s like he’s asking – no, begging someone to acknowledge him. To breathe new life into him.

And for all his strange, aggressive indifference, there’s a little flame in him. One that seems like it’s been burning for centuries, too stubborn to flicker out.

You haven’t missed how it’s getting brighter.

He only comes in on Sundays, staying from three until eight. If his prolonged presence bothers your co-workers, they don’t mention it.

Perhaps it’s silly to be so fascinated by a complete stranger, especially one that simply sits in a corner and watches. Perhaps it is even sillier to spend your breaks with him. But it’s as if you can’t help yourself; something pulls you towards him, even if you don’t understand it.

“What about the Greeks?” You ask one evening, sitting next to him in his booth.

His smile is bemused at best. “What about them?”

“Well… they’re classics,” you muse, “Are you a fan, or…?”

“Homer can suck my dick,” Oikawa grumbles. He never quite forgave that man for the unflattering portrait of his godliness.

You laugh. There’s an echo of a lyre in it. He wonders, for a moment, what you might look like with a laurel woven through your hair, smiling on a Pierian coast in the height of a blistering summer.

He doesn’t let his mind wander too far.

“I’m not really one for poetry,” you murmur, looking down at your hands.

“Is that so?” Oikawa smiles, taking a sip of his coffee. It’s lukewarm after sitting on the table for so long, but he doesn’t mind.

You shake your head. “I find it difficult to wrap my head around. It makes me feel kind of stupid.”

He nods. He used to understand poetry so well – in the darkest of nights, it was often the only thing he understood. It used to be laced with his very being, threaded through his body like veins. But now, it just fills him with bitterness.

“I like the classics, though,” you smile softly, playing with your fingers. “There’s something about the simplicity and straightforwardness of the language that appeal to me. And, I don’t know…” You bite your lip. “Some emotions seem to transcend time and culture. And some of the classics are so… raw. So… human.”

‘Human.’ He gazes at you, that word in particular playing over in his mind. There’s some truth in the classics, he supposes. Something in them that echoes across the centuries. But he’s been around far too long to care for patterns and parallels.

“Sorry,” you blush, smoothing your apron. “I must be boring you.”

“Not at all.” Oikawa shakes his head, leaning towards you. He takes another sip of his coffee. It’s cold now. “So, you’re a history buff, then?”

Maybe you are Clio, after all.

You shrug. “Only ancient history, really. But I haven’t read as much about it as I should’ve.”

“Are you a fan of the myths?” He asks, a playful lilt to his voice. He knows you won’t get the joke, but he doesn’t mind.

“Some,” you nod. “Why?”

“Know any about Apollo?”

“Apollo?” You smile. His old name sounds like a melody on your lips. “As in the god?”

“Sure.” Who else could he mean?

You pause for a moment, pressing your lips together. It’s a beautiful silence.

“Have you read Plato’s Symposium, by any chance?” You ask, gaze meeting his.

He nods. He doesn’t mind Plato; the man had been grateful for the gift of music, after all.

“There’s a story in it I really like,” you murmur, eyes turning towards the roof. “Well, it’s more of a myth, but… it’s the one about soulmates.”

“Oh?”

“Do you know it?”

“Vaguely.” Of course he knows it. He just wants to hear it retold in your voice.

“Well, alright,” you clear your throat, sitting up a little straighter. “There were three kinds of humans, descended from the sun, the earth and the moon. All had four arms and four legs, two faces, et cetera. But, the gods felt they were too unruly and powerful. By Zeus’ count, this was unacceptable, and he wanted to humble them.”

Oikawa hopes his expression is neutral enough. How is Zeus? Is he still around?

“Instead of simply destroying them, he split them in two,” you continue. “And that made us miserable.”

Your use of the word ‘us’ intrigues him, but he wants to save his questions for later.

“But, Apollo took pity on us,” you smile. “He decided to patch us up, and shape us into, well… the form we have today. The story goes that our navel is where he sewed our broken skin together. But he turned our heads around to what had once been our back, so we’d have to look at that mark as a reminder of our punishment and how incomplete we are.”

It does not matter to him if there is any truth in this story. Regardless, it certainly sounds like the folly of the gods.

“Once we were split, the two halves were flung to the far ends of the earth. From then on, each of us yearns with both body and soul to be reunited with our other half.” Your voice is so lyrical, so comforting. It is, perhaps, the closest thing to music he’s heard in a while. “Those of us who are lucky enough to find them supposedly know no greater joy. We’ll never feel so understood, so complete. Most of us though, will never know that joy.”

Perhaps the gods didn’t deserve the reverence they got. Perhaps they really had been tyrants, all along. But then again, there was little love between gods and mortals; if anything, worship was simply a reflection of the fears the divine inspired.

A new question itches at the back of his mind.

“Do you believe in life after death?” He asks.

You blink at him, eyes wide and round. “Well, I… I don’t know, really.”

He knows it’s a heavy question. He knows that he didn’t prepare you for it, and that it’s only tenuously connected to the conversation at hand. But, he always found that people were at their most honest when they were caught off guard.

“I don’t like thinking about it,” you admit, looking down at your hands. “It makes me all existential.”

Oikawa nods. Most humans react like this.

The relationship between mortals and death has always fascinated him. Fear, loathing, regret. It’s all bundled together. Sometimes, there is comfort. Sometimes, there is a sense of calm. But it is never easy to face the unknown, after such a brief stint of being alive.

It’s something he cannot understand in this existence of his that stretches itself thin across the millenniums.

What is death to a god? He imagines it must be something like relief.

☉ ☉ ☉

“Do you write yourself?” It’s a little question, one he knows was coming.

He doesn’t know how to answer.

You sit next to him in the lamplight, eyes sparkling as they always do. If he was more human, maybe he would compare them to the stars. Or perhaps the ocean after a storm. But he is not human, much less a poet.

How does he say that he’s never needed to? That his patronage, his presence alone was enough to inspire those classics you so dearly love? That he himself has never put lyrics to the human experience?

He has always been a god. There is no beauty to his experience; only in those small pockets of human intimacy he’s been granted across the centuries. There is no beauty to the life of a god – only fire, and fury, and hubris. Even his body is unlike yours; he has no heart, and he bleeds ichor.

“Not really,” he shrugs. It’s all he can say.

“‘Not really’ implies that you write at least a little,” you smile, leaning towards him.

He shakes his head. “I didn’t really have time to do something like that.” He pauses for a moment. Should he tell you? Should he reveal more of himself than is maybe wise? “I played volleyball in high school.”

“Oh, really?” You ask, tilting your head at him.

“I was good, too,” he sighs, brow furrowing. “But my team never made it to nationals.”

“Oh.” You look genuinely sad. “I’m sorry.”

He shrugs. There’s little else to do.

“I wanted to go further,” he admits. The lamplight casts a long shadow on his face, each feature soft and delicate as marble.

Each form, each reiteration, wants more.

So much of what he’s done this time doesn’t echo the traditional Apollonian figure. There is no art, this time. No song.

There was drama in sport, but it was different. It had filled him with a passion he’d never felt before, beating in his chest just like a heart would. It provided that rush of adrenaline, the brutal awareness of the importance of just one moment. Eternity stretches on forever for a god, but a game must end. Perhaps, in some way, death is very much the same.

He wants that closure. That passion for the now.

Now, more than ever before, he wants to be mortal. To lose himself in the storm that is being human – he wants it all. He wants to let go of the god he no longer is.

Where does Apollo end? Where does Oikawa Tooru begin?

☉ ☉ ☉

Time is passing again. Each day is over before it’s even begun, slipping through his fingers like a lucid dream. A heartbeat that isn’t his own thrums in his ears, quick and loud and frantic.

And yet, he finds himself outside the coffee shop, standing on the curb. You’re next to him, hands dug deep in your pockets. He’s arrived earlier than usual, catching you right at the beginning of your shift.

There’s something he wants – no, needs to say. Something that can’t wait.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, looking up at the sky. It’s pale, a shade found in-between blue and grey. A perfect winter sky, one you might find on a postcard trying to capture the beauty of the season.

Something is pressing on his chest, heavy and immovable. It feels like a goodbye.

“What for?” You laugh. It really is a delightful sound.

Where to begin? You couldn’t possibly comprehend it. Nor would you believe him. If he speaks too frankly, you may not remember him fondly.

“For the coffee,” he says.

There’s more he wants to say. Something about how, maybe, in another life, there could have been something more between the two of you. Something quite beautiful.

But he knows it’s wiser not to speak that into being. If you feel even a modicum of these emotions, then silence would be an act of kindness.

“Are you… going somewhere?” You ask, all signs of levity gone from your face. He regrets speaking at all now.

“Something like that,” he murmurs. It’s the closest he can get to the truth.

A long silence ensues. Oikawa doesn’t know if he should try to fill it; perhaps he should just let it sit for a while? To enjoy this little moment with you, standing with you in front of a dingy coffee shop on a dour Sunday night in the midst of winter.

Because this moment cannot last. Because nothing can.

“Well,” you clear your throat, eyes lingering on his face, as if you’re committing each detail to memory.

He smiles at you. He’s not aware of it, but it’s almost blinding. It brings a warmth to his face that you’ve never seen before, a warmth that makes him so striking, so beautiful, that you know you won’t be able to find the words to praise it.

“I hope I’ll see you again,” you murmur. It’s the best you can manage, keeping your feelings in your heart as best you can.

“Me too.”

He means it.

It’s time to go. Where, he’s not sure. But, with all the courage he could muster, he turns his back to you, making his way down the street.

There’s a space in his heart for fear. But it’s empty. Whatever’s coming, whatever’s about to change – he’s ready for it.

He welcomes it.

☉ ☉ ☉

He opens his eyes. He’s tangled in blankets; his own, or someone else’s?

One thought.

My name is Oikawa Tooru.

In the haze of a Sunday morning, he knows nothing else. His eyes flick to the blinds as they flutter with the wind that whispers through his window.

The light floods in.

It’s finally spring.

#oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa toru x reader #haikyuu x reader #oikawa tooru #oikawa x you #oikawa imagine #oikawa tooru imagine #haikyuucreations #this was a labour of love #it's different from my usual style but i enjoyed it

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frogtanii · 3 years

Note

Hi...it’s wind anon. Today has been long...and one of my friends told me she is dealing with some family issues so wind anon here is very...lethargic? Sorry if I just sound down the entire time, it’s not related to you or to PF.

Um...reactions... Kuroo mentions the name of the group chat. It’s amusing... the readers would throw tomatoes at Iwaizumi if it weren’t a waste of food... anyway, vindication...

Nice to know that Bokuto is okay now...and the room assignments! Sakusa and Bokuto will have a really interesting dynamic. If I remember right...from one of the asks you replied to recently... you mentioned how Sakusa was on the older age range compared to YN and such...I believe Bokuto was also on the younger side, but I might be wrong on that. It would be nice to see their relationship develop... I wave a flag of appreciation for the therapist who has only been mentioned in name, it’s great to hear about the advice that has been given and know that support has been issued.

Hmm...if I got room assignments correct... it’s Sakusa/Bokuto, Atsumu/Kenma, YN alone? With Kuroo...somewhere...? Wind anon read the update before class, and then math made the brain turn into utter mush... mmm, it’ll be fine. I don’t know how the house is divided up so hopefully the rooms where YN’s group is staying is decently far from Meiko’s...like on completely different floors or sides or something.

Kuroo’s characterization is on point...you’re really good at balancing interactions between characters...no one talks too much or too little...and the way they talk matches up with their personalities. Really nice job

YN is great too. She’s reassuring which makes me feel warm. Quite like you fr0ggy. You’re both really considerate.

Mmmm... what else is on my mind... ah yes. Meiko’s group. If Iwaizumi starts snapping at Kenma for publically posting the messages of Bokuto needing help... terrible terrible manager... it’s my bias against him speaking but I find him despicable. I get that he had a good relationship with Meiko so he easily allowed YN to join but...even in this type of work...you still need...some semblance of professionalism? Background check at the very least... what type of content does the person make? How large is their following? How’s their reputation? Any things on record that could be concerning? I mean...at the very least, YN should’ve done an interview with their management if they didn’t look into her already...

As a manager, you should value the health and safety of the people you manage, first and foremost.

I’m getting off track... happy moments that could happen... YN’s group eating popsicles together... or watermelon... making a super awesome sand castle... uh...campfire telling stories...barbecue...what else happens on beach...diving?

Ah, but my last ask, I was thinking of games involving the number 4 because you mentioned 4K followers. So YN and the group playing the card game UNO. For the +4 cards. I imagine for card games with a regular deck, Sakusa would be the best. He has a good poker face, I think he would be really good at shuffling the cards, etc. Bokuto would be lucky when it comes to cards, I think. Kenma would be sorta apathetic to it unless he can win something. He’s probably able to calculate and guess cards just through numbers and percentages alone, but I imagine his luck is a bit poorer than the average. Atsumu would have a bit of fluctuation. He would be fine with assessing both the people and the cards being played, but he wouldn’t be as focused on himself so I imagine that out of them all, he would be the one to unintentionally flash people his cards. But I think if he’s the one who keeps on streaks a lot...if he wins a round, he’s far more likely to win the next round, if he loses a round, he’s more likely to lose. YN is average. She doesn’t have any bad habits, her luck is neither extremely good or extremely bad, I don’t think she would have a blank face while playing, moreso a resting smile, but she wins and loses roughly the same amount.

...okay, I think that’s all my thoughts for now. I’m glad you liked the poem? Yesterday all I was thinking was YN being a star so I tried to make it a reoccurring line.

Anyway, I’ll end it here. Do take care fr0ggy~ we appreciate you lots and lots and lots <3

hello wind nonnie! m really sorry abt your friend :( family issues are always hard even if they aren’t your own so don’t feel bad about sounding down or tired!! i’m feeling p lethargic myself (jus sleepy) so i feel you <3

on their ages, you’re right! sakusa is the oldest, i believe, in the house? and bokuto is on the younger end, closer to yn’s age — with the room assignments, ur also correct! yn is alone and kuroo is rooming w meiko’s crew (i haven’t rlly put them into rooms in my head yet hehe)

oh i love your uno game hcs!!! they made me giggle and are p much canon <3 u put a lot of thought into them which i think is super cool!!

tysm for sending this in and i hope you get some rest, some water and have a good rest of ur day!!

#sorry i had to skip over some stuff cs my brain no worky but!!!#ty this was so in depth omg #also i rlly did love ur poem #i’m sure yn would love it too hehe #&& i hope everything works out w ur friend!!!!#j’s asks #anons babey #wind anon #℗ poker face

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donnysmoodsonthepitch · 2 years

Text

Mentality

Manuel Neuer (beginning of 19/20) when being asked about Nuebel's possible transfer: "I’m an athlete and professional and would always like to play. I’m ambitious and love standing on the pitch. I’m not an extra, but rather the lead and would always like to play [...] I decided differently, of course. I did not transfer to a club where I would potentially be the number 2. I always wanted to play, especially when I was young. I don’t know whether I would have acted and decided that way." He wouldn't give the newcomer any gametime to play. The knowing of his worth even after suffering an awful injury that brought his career down, made people tell him to retire and leave the spotlight to Nuebel, the longing to have a contract extension helped him to bounce back faster than ever after Flick took over Bayern's hot seat. Winning The Best FIFA Men's Goalkeeper, and most importantly, making a whole lot of unbelievable saves that secured Bayern's sixth Champions League title, Manuel Neuer is the world's best Goalkeeper.

Thomas Mueller, being placed in a position that he didn't like (RCM), was ruled out from the Starting XI in Bayern and axed from the National Team, even himself considered moving to another club, still, tried to utilise every chance given to him, proving his worth whilst doing the best for his club: "Twice. Most recently in 2019. I wasn’t starting. And the team could’ve been successful without me. Not every team necessarily needs Thomas Müller to win. If it came down to that, I’d have wanted to move." Soon after Kovač left the club, Hansi Flick took over and proved why Bayern necessarily need Müller to win. "I don't want to say that I feel vindicated because that sounds like revenge. But I am glad to have shown that I do not belong to the old bottle container and that I still have something to contribute." Bouncing back from the defeat in Wembley, Thomas Mueller will be here to stay and lead the younger ones to stardom.

Leroy Sane, suffered a horrible knee injury, was placed in a position he wasn't comfortable with (RW), lost his fighting spirit, got booed by fans, was almost axed from the National Team. However, everything has changed right after he was placed on the left. Sane now is one of the most industrious players on the fields, roams everywhere to help with attack and defense.

From a home-grown talent, a Schalke transfer to a newcomer, there is a strong spirit, a so-called "Bayern's mentality": Never give up, know your worth, believe in yourself and do your best to the club. Because our motto is "Mia san Mia" - "We are who we are". Anyone plays for this club more or less has this mentality, and so does Kimmich. I don't want to cause controversy so I decided not to dig into this topic. This is his decision, even though it is a stupid one that has affected both himself and the team. I myself believe that he has regretted his decision. The aim now is to fend off over media's pressure of being called as "hypocrite", "AfD's poster boy", etc. I remember listening to his post-match (vs Hoffenheim) interview, recent is his interview with ZDF, and I was amazed at how he handled the situation, the strength and knowing in his voice as well as his words and immediately thought about Bayern's mentality. Kimmich has been with us for a long time, has experienced the bitter taste of defeat in Madrid, in Wembley and then bounced back by actions, this time will be the same, he must show the world what a Bayern's player's capable of.

#Clara's talk #This is not a defend talk or something #Joshua Kimmich #FC Bayern Muenchen #I'm tired of the same old shit #The media in my country is unbearable

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write-a-bad-romance · 3 years

Text

Two Hares Running Side by Side [Part II]

Part I here

Characters: Jean d’Arc, Napoleon Bonaparte, Sebastian, Comte de Saint-Germain, minor characters adapted from historical figures

Pairings: Napoleon x MC, Napoleon x Jean, Sebastian x Saint-Germain (main)

Words: 2940

Warning: Slight gore and major character amputation.

"Herr Mozart....or, Wolf as he asked me to call him, was unexpectedly amiable to my visiting him. One of his violinists even invited me to play, and I was elated when they applauded me and...."

Leon didn't need to read the rest of the letter. He understood.

There was little you could hide from Leon, not even in writing. He had long suspected his fiancé's fondness for the young musician. The more he read her letters, it was as clear it went beyond simple admiration.

Her feelings didn't go unrequited, it seemed.

Leon was a kind man. He didn't believe that he was, but everybody else insisted he was. He didn't climb the ranks of the Grande Armée through hard work and ingenuity alone.

Leon didn't want to accuse his own fiancé of unfaithfulness. Leon, on his part, believed his feelings to be earnest. But could he say the same for her?

With the letter crumpled in his fist, he strolled along the streets, in need of a distraction. He had gotten so used to having people around, to getting himself so busy there was no time to nurse festering wounds. Thoughts grew louder in silence, after all.

He stopped at a familiar bookstore, one he and Sebastian liked to frequent on breaks. Large yet cozy, and only sparsely crowded. It was the perfect sanctuary, and Leon grabbed a novel from the shelves to start reading.

But none of the words drew him in, and soon Leon put the book down to observe the other persons. One was particularly noticeable, a tall figure clad in a black shirt.

It was none other than Sergeant-Major d'Arc, flipping through a selection of leather-bound notebooks.

Jehanne, Leon gulped uneasily. Memories of gloved fingers stroking the nape of his neck resurfaced.

Leon (along with Sebastian and Saint-Germain) swore to pretend nothing happened to preserve the sergeant-major's dignity. The man in question himself woke up with no recollection of what transpired the previous night, and everything was back to usual.

But Leon's head was currently in a jumble, and it took him a while until he noticed that the other man had spotted him.

Iolite eyes bore into emerald eyes, and Leon had never felt more vindicated in his entire life.

So he did what most sensible men would do, sweep it all under the rug and show your opponent your flashiest grin.

"D'Arc! What a coincidence!" he greeted. "You alone?"

D'Arc held his chosen notebook to his chest, a rosy-colored thing that didn't suit him. "Mm," he answered. "My friends are currently preoccupied....elsewhere, and I need to replace my old journal."

"Ah, so you're keeping a journal!" Leon exclaimed, only to scold himself because soldiers keep a journal nowadays and that it's an obvious thing to say.

"Not for....reasons you might expect," D'Arc looked away. "I've been told that my writing is terrible. Gilles suggested I practice my cursive in a notebook."

The other man's bluntness never stopped being a surprise to Leon. "Ah."

They exited the store together, and Leon thought about following him for the entire day. Leon felt guilty for imposing himself on the man, but it was bound to be a long day, and he needed a distraction.

Was it safe to assume he was close enough to Jehanne—D'Arc to take up his personal time? Soldiers don't usually grope their superiors when they're drunk.

It didn't hurt to ask, Leon thought. And his initial embarrassment was already long gone. "Seeing as we're both alone, why don't you accompany me? I can treat you if you like."

Leon could sense some slight hesitation on Jean's part.

"Fine," he muttered. "I don't see why not."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

D'Arc ended up following Leon throughout their entire excursion. The Sergeant-Major wasn't one for small talk, but Leon didn't mind the peace.

He had to admit it was immensely refreshing to learn more about d'Arc. One, he was apparently skilled in sewing, and that he'd mended his own uniforms flawlessly. And second, he had as much interest in flower viewing as he did in testing weapons.

There were rumors about a soldier whose firearms expertise was unmatched and was second to none in swordsmanship. This mysterious soldier was said to swing his sword out in the open every morning without fail, even during midwinter.

The sharpshooter turned out to be d'Arc, who didn't seem to take much pride in his commendable habits. He even asked (insisted really) Leon to keep them a secret.

Even more blackmail material, Leon thought, amused.

But Leon felt some degree of affection for the innocent man, and something tugged his heartstrings when d'Arc marveled at the posh café they entered. There was probably none in his hometown, Leon wagered.

D'Arc, the humble man he was, refused everything else but water (Leon insisted he try the café’s renowned rose tea). And it wasn't until Leon ordered a plate of colorful macarons that the youth's interest was piqued.

And you said you're against sweets. Leon smiled as he took a bite of his own crêpe.

He was puzzled when d'Arc suddenly bent down and set a sheet of crumpled paper on the table.

Leon's eyes widened in recognition but didn't immediately snatch the letter back into his pocket.

"Must have fallen when I took out some coins," Leon smiled. "Thank you, d'Arc. I didn't notice."

"I didn't read it," d'Arc whispered.

"I beg your pardon?"

But there was a tinge of redness on his cheeks, and the way d'Arc tried to bashfully hide his face was....was....

Darling. But damn the entire Grande Armée if Leon had to say it out loud. Last he checked, he had none of Sebastian’s inclination.

"Don't worry about it," Leon cleared his throat. "You've told me your secrets, and I showed you mine. It's alright."

D'Arc raised a thin eyebrow. Any other officer would've found the act insolent, but Leon wasn't just any officer.

He was a considerate officer. And a distraught one.

"I suppose I can't blame you for peeking then," Leon smiled wryly. "I should've kept my problems to myself. Put that letter back in my quarters or something,"

D'Arc listened calmly and took a sip of his tea.

"But maybe I'm just not capable enough to solve this one," Leon mumbled. "I'm never good at this.... at this sort of thing. She's always the one to go after me and make me sit down and....and talk. But we're far away from each other, and I'm at a loss on what to do."

Leon ran a hand through his black locks. He was crumbling in front of his subordinate, but it didn't matter. He trusted that d'Arc trusted him with his secrets, and that was grounds for confiding in the man, wasn't it?

And d'Arc's presence was calming, like a sturdy bastion amidst the whirlwind around Leon.

"We're drifting apart. My fiancé's got a fancy for this gentleman whom I had introduced sometime during the holiday. I can't entirely blame her," he continued. "He was elegant. Very charming, I might add. A bit standoffish, perhaps. But definitely attractive in every sense."

He straightened the creased letter over and over.

"At least he can be by her side all the time," Leon toyed with his fork. "I never thought once that I'd be losing her. We've been friends together with Sebastian. I simply can't imagine the thought of us, well....not being together."

"I'm not supposed to leave this as it is. But," Leon's breath hitched. "I have too much on my plate right now. A part of me wished I could run away. I don't run from problems, I don't. But this? This is something completely new."

When Leon finally raised his head to look at d'Arc, the man was staring outside the window.

Had Leon finally bored him?

"Choose your battles," d'Arc finally replied. "Be it at home or at the front."

D'Arc snatched a macaron and rotated it between his gloved fingers.

"I have no real experience in matters of the heart," he went on. "But you are a capable commander, Second Lieutenant Bonaparte. Even if you can't guarantee they'll eventually result in victory, you're always willing to see them through."

Leon listened to d'Arc, articulating his words like a saint. Do pious men all speak in tongues?

"Look," Leon countered delicately. "War and people are two very different things. You can't just think about...defeating the other person and be done with it."

Leon sighed. "Friendships may suffer, and hearts can break. I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to hurt...us."

"But does it hurt you?" D'Arc asked.

"Huh?"

"Does it hurt you?"

Leon laced his fingers on his lap. Did this cause him to lose sleep? Did it cost him hours of pondering whether the relationship had any hope of salvaging?

If the relationship was even worth salvaging?

"I'm not sure," Leon breathed. "I still love her. Very much. But I'm afraid I won't be getting much rest if I let this on any longer."

"Good," D'Arc nodded. "You can't fight a war while having...troubles from home lingering at the back of your head."

"Troubles?" Leon couldn't help but ask.

"My father," D'Arc confided. "I haven't spoken to my father since I left home. From the letters my brother Pierre sent to me, it seemed he hasn't quite forgiven me for departing."

"I see," it was a fairly common problem among recruits, especially those as young as d'Arc when he enlisted.

To some, it sustained their will to survive the wars and come home. The less fortunate ones, however...

The coffee tasted bitter on Leon's tongue. D'Arc had to survive, and so did the other countless young men under his wing. Their wings.

Napoleon chuckled. Funny how he was moaning about his love life a moment ago. And now, he was concerned for the younger man's personal struggles.

Friends, eh?

"Is something the matter?" D'Arc tilted his head, exposing a swath of his slightly tanned neck. He had become less paler over the years, Leon noticed.

"It's nothing," Leon ceased his chuckling. "Tell me more about your family, then, d'Arc."

His chest now felt a little lighter, and Leon decided he'd deal with the letter in the evening. For now, he was content listening to d'Arc talking about the mysterious Pierre and his hometown.

Twilight came, and Leon finally found his courage to write to his fiancé and ask about Herr Mozart.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"So things didn't go well between both of you," Sebastian confronted Leon one day over coffee.

"I didn't— I haven't told you. How did you know?" Had Leon been too obvious? Or was it Sebastian's uncanny ability to read people?

"She's been writing to me, too. You both broke off the engagement pretty neatly, I must say," Sebastian sipped his mug. "You even wrote to her parents and told your mother. How gentlemanly of you."

Leon was wary of the tone in Sebastian's voice.

"But you didn't even tell me, your friend of ten years!" He hissed. "I thought you know better, Napoleon Bonaparte!"

"I'm sorry," Leon answered sheepishly. "I wasn't sure how to go about the entire issue, even when it was just between the two of us. I wanted to talk to you, but everything was resolved quicker than I expected."

Sebastian's lip thinned. "Congratulations,"

Outside, the wind was roaring, and mist descended upon the camp.

"So," the grey-haired man clapped his hands. "You're free to pursue whoever you like then."

His friend's abrupt change of demeanor baffled him. "I've just broken things off with my childhood sweetheart. Is a man not allowed to rest?"

"Ah, but she already left you for another man. All while you were moping," Sebastian pointed out, "I'm not telling you to take revenge or anything. But I can see you've already sorted things out in that department."

"I have absolutely no idea what you mean," Leon retorted.

"You've got your eyes on somebody," Sebastian waved his hand. "Nothing can escape me, Bonaparte. Don't think I've been unaware."

"There is absolutely nobody," Leon swore. "I've not met with another woman for ages, and you know that."

Sebastian stepped forward and flicked Leon on the forehead.

"So is that what you prefer, Bonaparte?" The man grabbed Napoleon's shoulders, practically shouting in his face. "Lanky, quiet youths with narrow eyes?"

"I-I don't follow," Leon rubbed his forehead. That flick stung!

"So, you like them beautiful? Okay, I can see why!" The other man continued his rant, "Was I too manly for you? How come you're suddenly paying attention to other men when I'm already with Saint-Germain?"

"The fuck are you even talking about." Leon had all but lost Sebastian at this point.

Sebastian finally released his hold on Leon, who stared bewildered at his best friend.

"You said you had no interest in men when I confessed to you," Sebastian closed in on Leon. "But you're eyeballing Sergeant-Major D'Arc all the time."

It finally dawned on Leon that Sebastian was referring to their budding relationship. Their strictly platonic relationship.

"Is that what you're thinking?" Leon gulped. "Nothing more than brotherly affection. Yes, that's it."

But the slate-colored eyes only narrowed at him skeptically.

"Oh, I give up! I accidentally consulted him about her letters, okay?" Leon gave in. "I admit that's rather private considering I haven't known him for long, but he shared his secrets too, alright? I wasn't the only one airing my dirty laundry out in the open."

Sebastian stared down at him silently.

"What?" Leon frowned. "Are you jealous or something?"

But he was instead met with laughter from the other man. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"No, at this point, no." Sebastian giggled. "I have my man, and you get yours. You're free to come crying to me whenever your relationship with d'Arc goes south, though. Consider we're even after keeping me in the dark about your breakup."

"Incomprehensible as always, Adjutant Second Officer." Napoleon squinted his eyes.

"Go at him while it's still eager, then," Sebastian brandished his mug exaggeratedly. "You're not the only one doing the ogling, you know."

"What—" but he was left hanging as Sebastian opened the tent flap and went outside.

"Time is of the essence, Bonaparte!" The man shouted. "Good hunting, I say!"

Napoleon was left in the empty tent with another headache.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Leon wondered if there was a sliver of truth in Sebastian's words.

God only graced his most beautiful angels, and d'Arc was one amongst throes of monsters in uniforms.

Some joked that he was a sort of holy man, sent by God from the provinces to aid the Grande Armée in its lowest point. Others say he was, in fact, a he-witch who could not die and could not be grazed by any bullet or sword.

He was a lucky bastard, Leon concluded. A lucky bastard who also happened to be a living embodiment of beauty.

D’arc was perfect in many ways that Leon and his men couldn't be. He was pious, educated despite his origins, and had no interest in women whatsoever.

The sergeant-major was kind to nurses and milkmaids they met while passing villages, yes. But he was also known to fly into an unexpected rage when he discovered his lads were smuggling wenches into camp.

When teased why he didn't just volunteer to be a standard-bearer, d'Arc simply answered, "You men wouldn't survive a day without me behind the cannons."

It wasn't ambition, Leon noticed. Some men just found their purpose after escaping death after five battles despite no real hope of staying long upon entering the camp.

"I wager he's just horribly repressed," Sebastian joked one evening over wine. "Hey, maybe you'd get a chance with him. With those types, you never know!"

Leon thought of nothing when his best friend suddenly confessed that he harbored feelings for him, back when they were only with the army for six months. He kept mum when he learned Sebastian was visiting their blond doctor after hours and only coming back before dawn.

Hell, Leon himself was been looking forward to a quiet life with his fiancé and their children, back in Paris. He also never expected to be left to continue his life in the barracks, tending to an empty heart and a never ending war.

At least, there was now a face to look for after the smoke cleared.

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"We only had to amputate one of his legs. He'll make it through the night. I guarantee he survived." Saint-Germain's words rang in Leon's ears as he weaved through hordes of medics.

He didn't find Sebastian immediately after they retreated. And now he knew the reason why.

The ward smelled of soiled linen and painkillers. It was a miracle that they found a makeshift hospital nearby, a university building filled with rows of beds and better supplies than what they were used to having out in the fields.

Leon found Sebastian on a bed near the window. There was an empty space where the left leg should have been.

Leon scrambled to grasp at his pale hand, thankfully still warm. Yet the man barely stirred, even as the afternoon light streamed in and hit his bandaged face.

"Sebastian...." Leon whispered, "Can you hear me?"

But the man didn't. The morphine was potent, and Leon was left to stare blankly at his best friend's prone body.

Nurses came and went, and more soldiers were wheeled in. The clamor inside the infirmary was constant, but Leon was deaf to everything but the slightest rustle from Sebastian's paralyzed form.

⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋⚋

#ikemen vampire #ikevam fanfic #ikevam jean #ikevam napoleon #jeanpoleon #riri tries ikevam

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365days365movies · 3 years

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February 7, 2021: Emma. (2020)

Another late one, people! Tomorrow might be a bit later, too, full warning. Like I said, school’s back in session, and I got students to teach and class to prepare!

When I was a kid, I was a pretty avid reader, mostly due to my mom’s drive to get me to be an avid reader. I read Shakespeare from an early age, which might be why I like it so much, and why I remember it so well.

I also read Jane Austen’s Emma when I was 10 years old. On a related note, I remember none of Jane Austen’s Emma. On another related note, I’m fairly certain that I saw its most famous adaptation, Clueless, and I don’t remember that either.

I’m tempted to rewatch that one, since I don’t remember it AT ALL, but I figure that I’m going to place a more direct adaptation of the work first on my list of priorities. And so, one of the ONLY movies to come out last year is one my list, starring an up-and-coming “it girl,” Anya Taylor-Joy.

From what I can tell, this is a fairly popular movie on this platform, so I’m looking forward to watching it, despite knowing NOTHING about it, other than the fact that it’s a romance drama, and based off of a classic British novel by Jane Austen. Shall we? SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

Emma Woodhouse (Anya Taylor-Joy) lives in the 1815 English countryside, with her father, Mr. Woodhouse (Bill Nighy), and her caretaker, Mrs. Taylor (Gemma Whelan). However, this is about to change, as she is to marry Mr. Weston (Rupert Graves) that day.

Emma is a sweet girl, who seems to be ale to predict things to pass. She also set up the present marriage, although she seems not to want one for herself. However, she also seems interested in the whereabouts of Mr. Taylor’s son, Frank. He never shows up, though.

Meanwhile, the Woodhouses are visited by George Knightley (Johnny Flynn), whom her father favors, and whom Emma seems to clash with. And Imma call it now: they totally end up together in the end. I mean, c’mon.

Emma’s trying to replace Mrs. Weston nee Taylor as a governness, despite the fact that her father doesn’t want it. Emma finds Harriet Smith (Mia Goth), a young women whom she goes to school with, and apparently might be the illegitimate daughter of a nobleman. She’s also interested in setting Harriet up, as Emma prides her skills as a matchmaker.

However, Harriet’s already interested in a local farmer, Robert Martin (Connor Swindels), but Emma’s trying to set her up with a local vicar, Elton (Josh O’Connor). They go to meet Mrs. Weston, and Emma introduces herself to Elton, who she believes likes her in return.

The next day, Emma and Harriet go to the store, where the gossipy busybody Miss Bates (Miranda Hart) comes to speak with the VERY unwilling Emma, and the considerably more interested Harriet. Miss Bates is speaking up her niece, Jane, although Emma certainly doesn’t seen to care nearly as much as Miss Bates thinks she does.

On the way home, Harriet and Emma encounter Robert Martin, and Emma's definitely not a fan of that potential relationship. Instead, she regularly puts down Mr. Martin, and talks up Vicar Elton.

As Elton and Harriet begin getting closer, and Emma seems to be vindicated in support of the relationship she set up, Knightley’s...not impressed. In a conversation with Mrs. Weston, he basically says that she gets high on flattery, and while she isn’t necessarily a true narcissist, she still NEEDS approval from her peers and others. That’s why she’s setting up Harriet, who feeds her constant flattery.

In addition, her whole “never going to get married” thing doesn’t seem to fly with George, here, who’d like her to fall in love with someone who isn’t...well, a simp, let’s be honest here. And honestly, this is already an interesting character dissection, and I can dig it.

Knightley complicates matters for Emma, when he convinces Martin to write a letter, asking for Harriet’s hand in marriage. However, due to Emma’s subtle manipulations, she convinces Harriet to refuse the proposal, despite the fact that she clearly wants to say yes. And while Emma might be beautiful, and quite smart...yeah, she’s a bitch. Or, at the very least, she acts like one for her own benefit.

Knightley, pissed off about this whole thing, confronts Emma about her manipulations, and states that Martin might be the ideal match for Harriet. After calling her out, and warning her that Elton miiiiiiight be a bit of a ladies’ man, and that he’s certainly the wrong match for Harriet in the end. Emma admits that she mostly wants to keep Harriet for herself.

Autumn turns to Winter, and Emma’s older sister Isabella Knightley (Chloe Pirrie), and her husband John Knightley (Oliver Chris) (and George’s younger brother) come to visit Emma and her father for the holidays. George and Emma make amends, although Emma still won’t admit that she may have been wrong.

Christmas Day comes, and Harriet is sick, while Frank Churchill once again neglects to appear at the house of his father and new wife. George berates his neglect of his familial duties, while Emma argues in his favor, obviously harboring a crush on him still.

At dinner, Elton makes a remark about snow, causing LITERALLY EVERYBODY to leave the party prematurely, and Emma’s father accidentally leaves her behind. Elton, however, offers to give her a ride in his carriage. And in the carriage, he reveals that not only does he actually love Emma, but that he doesn’t care for Harriet at fucking ALL. Fuckin’ WHOOF.

Looks like Elton’s misread EVERY POSSIBLE SIGNAL, and Emma FUCKED UP SOMETHING FIERCE. Harriet is quite saddened by this, and is about to destroy a portrait of herself that Emma made for her. However, Emma instead keeps it. Elton disappears for a number of weeks, just as the niece of Miss Bates, Jane Fairfax (Amber Anderson) suddenly reappears.

At dinner, it’s revealed that Jane appears to know Frank Churchill, as they live in the same place. During a piano performance of Jane’s that’s WAY BETTER than Emma’s performance, it’s also revealed that Emma’s been compared to her all of her life, giving her some fat, fat insecurities!

After an awkward encounter with Mr. Martin, Harriet goes to the Martin household to visit his sisters. Meanwhile, the long-awaited arrival of Frank Churchill (Callum Turner) comes, and Emma is unsurprisingly smitten with him. He asks her for a dance at an upcoming dinner, and she accepts.

Knightley is, of course, not impressed with the worldly gentleman. Meanwhile, someone has apparently delivered a pianoforte to Jane Fairfax, and it’s pretty goddamn obvious that it was Frank Churchill. Although, it’s possible that it was George Knightley, who’s been matched to her by Mrs. Weston.

And it’s at this point that I should point out that GODDAMN THIS IS A SOAP-OPERA OF A MOVIE. The hyper-detailed intentions and events, all happening within the confines of high society and etiquette are both overly intricate, while also managing to be...weirdly enrapturing.

The next morning, after a six-week absence, Elton’s come back to town with brand new wife, Augusta Elton (Tanya Reynolds) in tow. Augusta matches Emma’s passive-aggressiveness measure-for-goddamn-measure, which, yeah, PISSES EMMA OFF.

But it’s still good news on the horizon, as Frank’s appearance has prompted the Westons to hold a ball. While Emma and Frank seem to be getting along, Elton is prevented to opportunity to dance with Harriet, only to refuse LIKE AN ABSOLUTE TAINT. On the verge of tears, Harriet’s rescued by George, and they dance alongside the rest of the partygoers.

Emma shows his appreciation for this, and Knightley returns his appreciation for her friendship with Harriet, who’s way goddamn better than Augusta. The two decide to dance together, and the two basically fall in love RIGHT GODDAMN THERE AND I AM GODDAMN HERE FOR IT.

Which sucks, because I’m, what, a little more than halfway in? No way it’s this easy.

And as Knightley and Emma realize their feelings the next day, they actually run towards each other, SEE each other...and then get iterrupted by Frank carrying Harriet post-her being attacked by muggers GOD FUCKING DAMMIT REALLY?

Plus, it looks like Harriet might be in love with Knightley now, after the previous night. HowEVER, since the previous night, Emma is now in love with Knightley, and believes that Harriet’s feelings are directed towards her rescuer, Frank Churchill. But Frank’s in love with Jane. Like, for sure he’s in love with Jane. And Knightley’s in love with Emma, although Mrs. Weston believes that he’s in love with ane, as he leant her his chariot the previous night, although he DIDN’T do that, and the chariot (and piano) must’ve come from Frank, who’s actually in love with her, not Harriet, as Emma believes. YOU GOT THAT? BECAUSE I’M ASTONISHED THAT I DO

Summer comes, and there seemingly no major changes to the love lives of our main characters. Can’t say that for George’s mansion, as he’s unveiled all of the paintings in the place.

Might be wrong about the progression of relationship thing, as George and Harriet appear to be getting along, and Emma and George suddenly...aren’t. And THEN, Jane tells Ema that she’s feeling super down at the moment, and leaves. Which is when Frank shows up, which Emma appears to not be super happy about.

Later, at a luncheon, Emma takes out her emotions upon Miss Bates who, while kind of annoying during the film, doesn’t deserve the insult lobbied her way by Emma. Afterwards, George DESTROYS her, and she...she gets it. She’s been an asshole.

After a good cry, she goes to apologize to Miss Bates, who immediately forgives her, as she tends to do. It’s also pretty quickly revealed after that that we find out that Frank has ALWAYS been engaged to Jane, since he arrived to Highbury. AND, Emma finally findss out that Harriet’s in love with George, not Frank. Which...yeah, Emma’s not a huge fan of, for obvious reasons.

However, Emma points out that George might have been trying to get Harriet involved with Mr. Martin, but also tries to step back. However, Harriet RIGHTLY calls her out this time, bringing up the fact that Emma fancies George, and that it’s because of Emma that she refused Mr. Martin. And Emma finally gets it. ALL of it.

George, hearing of Frank’s engagement, goes to comfort Emma in her time of distress. And after railing out Frank for his lying ass, he starts to confess his true feelings to Emma. But she tries to stop him, but THERE AIN’T NO STOPPIN’ LOVE BABY

And as he STRAIGHT-UP PROPOSES to her...her nose bleeds and she says no.

Finally, it’s confirmed that George was speaking on Mr. Matin’s behalf, not his own, and Emma pledges to make things right herself. She delivers the painting of Harriet to Mr. Martin, and he proposes to her. Harriet accepts, and has also finally heard from her father, who isn’t a nobleman at all, but a shoemaker. Emma still invites them over to their estate, and the two make up as friends.

And speaking of making up, George and Emma also make up, and the two are officially engaged to be wed. And it’s honestly...quite lovely. Which describes the whole film, which comes to a close.

WHEW. Now THAT...was a Recap. See you in the Review!

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littlegoldenbirdie · 3 years

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A show I never watched

Guess who’s crazy/dumb enough to write an alternate finale for a show I never even watched? Me!

Well, what can I say but that I have found a different road to the same destination? Any inaccuracies can be blamed on me being nuts enough to do what I stated above.

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As the dark mist of Rayblood’s corruption poured out of Belial, his body slackened in his son’s desperate embrace. Neither of them noticed. Rather, Geed watched the departing cloud with a mixture of surprise and triumphant vindication, while Belial merely stared upward in a numb haze due to his mind being purged of the darkness’s influence. Reeling, he pulled away from the younger Ultra, stumbled a few steps and… changed. A momentary lapse of consciousness brought him to his knees, landing as a vastly different being from the one who had initially fallen. A monstrous red and black warrior hit the ground as a perfectly normal if somewhat elderly Ultra. “F-Father?” Geed could only manage the one word, and it went unnoticed. Eventually the older Ultra stirred, looking at his newly clawless hands as if they were alien to him. “These are my hands,” he said in quiet awe. His voice had changed drastically as well, Geed noticed. The pitch was a bit higher than before and the growling thunder was gone, as was the malice, along with the cruel glee and any sort of rage. Belial (was he still?) slowly, gingerly ran his hands along his face. “This is my face… and my voice,” he murmured, though his son could hear. He stood up slowly, awkwardly, unfamiliar with his new body… or was it his old body? Geed couldn’t tell, but he had a feeling. “Father…” Now the world as a whole could see what the landscape of their shared minds had shown him… Deep down inside, the intergalactic tyrant was, had almost always been, a tired old man who just wanted to stop.

At last, Belial responded, as if he had forgotten Geed was there. “…S-son? My… son?” Their gazes met for a long, long moment. “Look, it’s me,” he said in an astonished yet undeniably happy-sounding voice. The next few words stumbled forth almost as a laugh, which sounded incredibly strange to both of them. “It’s… it’s really me.” When had been the last time Belial truly laughed, rather than cackling or gloating? Neither of them remembered, and deep down Geed doubted there was anyone left who could. Well, now that had changed, he realized with no small measure of satisfaction. It was over… Belial’s reign of terror over the galaxy at large had finally ended, and nobody had to die for it. “You’re free now, Father. It’s over. All of it.” He paused for a moment. “I think we’ve both already had a long enough day at this point. Let’s just go home.” He realized that wasn’t quite the right thing to say when his father recoiled as if struck. To Belial, ‘home’ was, had always been, the Land of Light, the place he had been exiled from and longed to return to… in vain! “…No,” he said eventually, looking down and turning away. “I can’t go back after all the things I’ve done,” he continued. “If I go back to the Land of Light with you, the best I can hope for is the isolation cells again… for the rest of my natural lifespan.” The last remnants of their shared mental landscape gave the shudder he didn’t allow his body to show. “I won’t go back to the isolation cells… I-I can’t. Immobility and darkness, total silence…” This time he really did shudder. “And that’s if I’m lucky! A criminal of my caliber might just warrant immediate execution!” Alarmed, Geed blurted out, “But the Rayblood…” The words were barely spoken before Belial cut in sharply. “You and I are the only ones who saw that! As far as everyone else in the galaxy knows, it was all me! There’s no way they’d ever listen to me, and I doubt anyone would listen to you without any evidence. And even if they believed it, that doesn’t cover my original crime.” Geed sighed. “Yes, Zero told me all about it. You tried to…” He was cut off. “Yes, I tried to steal the Plasma Spark’s power. It nearly burned me to death when I did. Had the officers sent to arrest me arrived any later, they’d have found a pile of ashes instead of a screaming half-dead fool. It would have been better if they had… For me, anyway.” His voice grew more bitter with each word. “They at least had the decency to let me recover a bit before they put me on trial for my crime… They tried me, found me guilty, sentenced me, exiled me… and not once did any of them ask me why!”

Geed knew that sometimes the best way to win a battle both physical or mental was simply to talk… or to listen. “Father,” he said gently, “I’m asking.” The sudden rage and bitterness drained out of the older Ultra, replaced by surprise and relief, followed swiftly by sorrow. “I was so young back then. So very, very young…” He sighed. “The one thing they don’t tell you about during training is all the people you won’t save. Try as you might, there will always be enemies you can’t defeat, innocents you can’t get to, or times when you’re simply too late to do anything.” Another pause. “I’ve seen my share of battles, and I’ve seen what that inevitable realization does to people. I’ve watched colleagues throw themselves into further training and push themselves until they broke, their minds just as often as their bodies. Others refused to accept failure and threw their lives away when they could never have succeeded anyway. I know I can’t have been the only one to think that maybe, must maybe, if I was stronger…” He shook his head sadly. “I was the only one to think the Plasma Spark could fix that, though. Dumbest thing I ever did. My encounter with the Rayblood came after my exile, as I fled to a barren planet and raged in vain as I finished healing. It only got in because I let it in. Blinded by anger, I accepted its offer. Its influence led to my worse deeds, but my banishment was all me.” He raised his arms. “And now look at me; I’ve lost all my power. How long do you think it’ll be before my old ‘friends’ back in the Land of Light send officers to arrest me for my crimes? How do you think a life on the run sounds to me? And that assumes I won’t end up crushed beneath the weight of my sins, mind, body and soul!” For a moment, he looked like he was about to laugh, or cry. “We Ultras are creatures of light, son. We’re not meant for darkness. Of any kind. Places or deeds, it’s all the same. The shadows corrupt us, consume us… destroy us. And once they’ve touched you, there’s no going back. Ever.” He drooped, his posture showing pure sorrow and resignation.

His next words confused Geed, and not in a good way. “I want you to know, you’re the only good thing to come out of my miserable existence… and I wasn’t even involved, technically speaking! And also, I know there are things they drill into you in training, the basics that become even more than second nature, responses as automatic as breathing, as reliable as a heartbeat… such as putting up a reflective Ultra Barrier when fired upon.” Barely even a split second later, he turned and did just that. “Deathcium Beam!” As Belial had effectively predicted, Geed instinctively countered with an Ultra Barrier, bouncing the beam right back at its sender. His training ensured that he reflected it at the precise angle to ensure maximum damage, striking Belial full in the chest and sending him flying backward like a ragdoll. “FATHER, NO!” He recognized a fatal hit before he even started moving, rushing to the elder’s side to kneel by him. He yet lived… for the moment. “Father, why? Why?” Clasping hands with his son, Belial struggled to speak. “…S…such a… good Ultra. Better… than I… ever was…” Weak though his voice was, he sounded… happy. “T…tell the others… I was a monster, yes… But I started… as a deluded young fool…” This was as close to redemption as he could hope to get, his dying mind decided. Letting others know that although evil had ended up consuming his life, he hadn’t started out that way. But wait, there was still… He looked up at his son even as his vision dimmed. Perhaps… perhaps… “Geed… As your father, I am… part of you. So please… Let your light shine upon the galaxy. Then maybe… just maybe… my light will shine… too…” Those last few words spoken, he let himself slip into darkness.

Geed bowed his head in sorrow as the older Ultra’s body went limp in his arms. It really was over now… “Goodbye, Father…” Victory had never felt this bitterly painful before, and he could only hope it never would again, no matter what battles the future threw at him. But now was not the time to think of the future. There were more important things to take care of first. Giving a sigh, he gently gathered the limp, cooling corpse in his arms, cradling it against his chest. The reign of the dark Ultra had finally ended. The Land of Light had decreed that Belial could not return while he lived, but perhaps now… Getting his legs beneath him, Geed leapt upward and took to the sky, leaving the planet and taking his grim cargo with him. Now, at last, Ultraman Belial was going home.

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Like I said, the end is the same, but it came in a different way.

#ultraman #ultraman geed #ultraman belial #fanfic

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crosbymalkin871 · 4 years

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The Price of Love (1/?)

CHAPTER TITLE: All It Takes is One Huge Paycheck…

RATING: M PAIRINGS/CHARACTERS: E. Malkin/S. Crosby

CHAPTER WARNINGS/KINK: Alcohol, Foul Language, mentions of Prostitution, Mario Lemieux, vague allusions to Smut

AUTHOR’S NOTE: FINALLY! AFTER FOUR-FIVE MONTHS OF NO HOCKEY, THE LACK OF MOTIVATION, AND ME ACTUALLY NOT HAVING TO DEAL WITH A LOT OF STRESS, I’M FINALLY BACK!!!! Originally I wanted to post this the night of game 1, but shit happened and then I tried to post it before game 2, but y’all are getting it today! XD As a piece of compensation on my end, chapter 2 will be posted on Sunday evening. I promise, and if I don’t keep my word, bash me in the head with a hockey stick until I get a concussion.

Before you all begin reading, I just have to say thank you to everyone who has messaged me their excitement and their support throughout these difficult moments, it really means a lot. I also wish to extend my appreciation to 3 specific individuals: my friends @justinschultzy & @eafay70, and my dear Zhenya aka @cakemakethme (who will also be my Beta from chapter 2 or 3 onward). You three were the ones I continuously messaged updates on and your cheerleading was what ended up leading me to finishing this. So thank you very, very much! xxx

I have been wanting to write this fic for…gosh, maybe 2-3 years now and it’s finally being presented to all of you. I’m so excited for everyone to read it and to join me on this insane rollercoaster that is The Price of Love. With that all said and done I hope you all enjoy it, like and reblog, and I will (hopefully) post more sometime in the near future.

DISCLAIMER: I am not the owner of the Pittsburgh Penguins, or are associated with anyone in the NHL. I just have a very strong imagination.

A variety of noises ring out in Geno’s ears.

“Beer, over here!”

“Four sangrias for table three.”

“Vodka. Straight.”

“Whisky on the rocks.”

“Daiquiri. Make it a double.”

“Two champagne cocktails for table seven.”

Orders just keep coming and coming. He had been tossing and filling up a number of glasses and flutes for hours, sending them out left and right at the bar with almost no chance of having a small break in between. It was alright though, he grew used to it throughout his years of being one of the many favored bartenders at the Emperor Nightclub.

That, and he gets some real good money out of it, collecting all the large tips he gets whenever he cleans up the dirtied tables afterward.

With he and Tanger, his best friend and the other tender manning the bar, it feels like a marathon— albeit an easy one— to serve the feisty ladies and semi-agro men currently trying to take over the club.

The Emperor Nightclub is still up and running as the night starts to grow late. With a birthday bunch, a small group of ladies having a girl’s night, a married couple looking for a partner or two to join their bed (whether they were open or poly, Geno wasn’t sure), and college graduates dominating the patrons tonight along with the regulars— the nightclub roars as if it is New Year’s Eve in NYC instead of any other weekend in Pittsburgh.

No empty space could be seen on sight from where he was standing, with new patrons coming in the later part of the night, while the earlier patrons have made the decision to stay even after hours of partying and hollering.

Geno was given a small break as the crowd in front of the bar disperses, having been satisfied with the drinks they were given, taking whatever leftover bills he was given as a form of tip.

So far, it was a relatively good night for him.

Well…until a small, very familiar group came in, with the leader catching his eye like he usually does.

Being a bartender at a pretty famous nightclub in Pittsburgh, he sees a whole spectrum of people walking in and out of the nightclub’s doors: with some of them wanting to down tons and tons of alcohol that’ll make them black out until tomorrow afternoon, and others being on the prowl for someone to either take to their car, a nearby hotel, or even the nightclub’s bathroom.

One of them was about three or four, sometimes even more, prostitutes that are part of the latter category, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t take the time to chat with the bartenders, something that always brightened Geno’s night, especially when he was continuously swamped with drink orders…

…which is how Geno’s break ends: more people clamoring to the bar.

As of on cue, the moment that he continues to engage in dealing with patron’s drinks, the orders come rolling in even faster that he almost skipped a beat. From the corner of his eye, he could see the expression on Tanger’s face becoming more focused as his orders keep coming in with some extra flirting and touching from the patrons on his part.

He snorts at that. While Geno didn’t necessarily mind a customer or two coming up to flirt with him, he was never really interested in them, only responding back just to make their night a little bit better.

Out of all of his friends, it was Tanger that got the most attention from the patrons, with he following at a close second. It made sense because the French-Canadian looked like a supermodel. And himself? Well he wasn’t really sure if American people have a thing for foreigners like him, but he continuously gets complimented on his ability to wear a suit. So he considers that a plus.

His other friend, Dumo, tended to get third; primarily because he got a lot of attention from the college kids, either doing an insane number of shots or just randomly asking about his athletic abilities. Needless to say, it was very amusing to watch him wrack attention from the younger crowd. Though if anybody were to catch his eye, they should be aware of how damn good a cook he was.

The other two bartenders, Big Rig and Schultzy, also managed to garner themselves some attention from the patrons. Big Rig, for his height as he stood almost 7 feet tall (much taller than Geno), and Schultzy, for his happy-go-lucky personality. It was always something that made event the downiest of drinkers smile a little.

Even if he feels just a tad overwhelmed by the all of the drinks he has to quickly make, getting a glimpse of dark, curly black hair and a thick, white fur coat was enough to quell his nerves.

“You all need some additional help?”

A voice comes from Geno’s left side and it makes him jump a little (but not enough to make him mess up an order, which he has done before and has given the person who scared him a very stern talking to). He looks over to see who it was and finds Dumo standing there with his usual laid-back smile. Geno may or may not have breathed out a small sigh of relief at his arrival.

“Possibly, considering that G has been trying to catch a glimpse of Sid rather than seeing how much booze he’s pouring in.” Tanger smirks, placing at Geno teasingly.

Geno rolled his eyes and answered with a scoff. “Yeah. Like you not staring at Flower too, Tanger.” He feels a little vindication when seeing the French-Canadian man scowl in return. “But help always needed, Dumo. Things getting a bit out of hand and no one planning on going home soon.” Even though he knows he’ll get teased about it even more, his eyes couldn’t help wander off around the club, looking at all the excitement that is still going strong.

And again, seeing black curls and a white fur coat— Sid was his name— releases some of the tension in his shoulders.

“Alright then.” Dumo clapped his hands before he started to roll his sleeves of his button-up. “No one is really wanting drinks on my end of the bar, might as well waste time by giving you guys a hand.”

Neither Tanger or Geno responded to him as he already accepted his first round of orders from the loud frat boys and flighty sorority girls welcoming him, leaving the other two to tend the ones lining up at their respective corners.

Within the next minute or so, all three of them found themselves falling into a rhythm as they worked side-by-side, the drinks continuing to flow out and tips continuing to flow in. And with more patrons visiting the bar, come more even more orders and even more tips.

The extra pair of hands certainly help a lot in making the work feel a whole lot easier.

Dumo serves every patron that tries to start a conversation with him, listen to their problems in one ear while paying attention to orders in the other. He also subtly brushes off any flirty advances, but he does throw a smile here and a wink there to please all who are openly staring at him. He even does a little dance to the beat of the music as a little extra entertainment.

“Should’ve been a stripper, Dumo.” Tanger tells him as he stuffs some more bills into his pockets. “Missed the chance to be Magic Mike in Hollywood, but there’s still a chance here.”

Geno snorts as he slides a mint julep down the bar.

“Ha ha. Very funny, Tanger,” Dumo states unamused. “Can say the same about you too.”

Tanger just flips him off while Geno snorts again.

Eventually, the orders died down and the patrons scattered about. Dumo returned to the other bar on the opposite side of the room with Schultzy and Big Rig, while Tanger cleaned up any spilled alcohol left on the bar top.

Geno, meanwhile, began pouring more cocktails, glasses of wine, and laying more beer bottles onto a tray; but these were for any of the people hugging their half-full drinks, or for the tables that were littered with empty glasses and lime wedges.

No. This tray of drinks are for a certain group that he had noticed earlier.

Carefully, yet a little giddily, he manages to carry the tray single-handedly, and without spilling a single drop of liquor, all the way to a very specific table within the Emperor Nightclub.

As he walks closer and closer, the wild pacing of his heartbeat grows more and more. When he finally reaches the table, standing behind the object of his secret affections, he quietly gulps and places a gentle hand on his fur-covered shoulder.

The man stops whatever he was doing and turns around to look at him. And Geno swears he could feel his breath escaping his lungs and his rapidly-beating heart stopping.

Aside from their beautiful curly hair, the man also had the prettiest brown eyes and the biggest, most kissable lips imaginable (not that the bartender would ever admit that to him). He also had on an outfit that was not afraid to show off his…well, assets; outside of the white fur coat, he wore a white crop top with a red maple leaf on it, black leather shorts that magically fits his ass, and past those long, thick legs were a pair of black stripped high-heels that decorated his feet.

Sid smiles kindly at him, his teeth showing behind those glossed lips. “Hi, Geno.” he calls in his deep yet sweet-sounding voice. It didn’t sound flirtatious or seductive, which is normally how he talked to his clients, with the bartender, he always sounded genuine and pleasantly happy to see him serving drinks to him and his friends.

Geno nervously smiled back. “H-Hey, Sid,” he replies, silently curing himself for stammering in front of a prostitute who he may or may not have a big crush on. “Flower, Segway, Mitch,” he also greeted, who were all looking at him before he grabbed Sid’s attention. He began setting down the cocktails, wine, and beer. “Here are usual orders.”

The three other men accepted their drinks: a margarita, a beer, and a glass of white wine, respectively.

Still smiling, Sid happily accepted his cosmopolitan, plucking a strawberry off the skewer that was resting atop the martini glass. “Thanks, G,” he says before popping the mini strawberry into his mouth. “I know everyone has their favorite bartenders, but I still say you make the best cocktails.”

Hearing that from Sid (and watching him eat a simple piece of fruit) was enough to bring a blush and a dumbstruck smile to Geno’s face. “H-Heh…Thanks, Sid.”

Sid nods, eyes shining with a glint of something as he takes a sip of his cocktail.

It was a small moment or two of awkward (on the bartender’s part at least) silence before he coughed. “I, uhm, I’m best get back to work, so…bye.” With that, he quickly flees back to the bar.

(As he did so, he heard the soft giggles coming from Sid, but he failed to see him lightly admonish his friends as they smirked at the obvious crush the bartender had.)

After that little incident, Geno spent the rest of the night catering to any other patron that walked up and asked for— or sloppily demanded— drinks. Whenever he had a spare moment or two, he would glance up at table eight, watching the small group of friends chatting, laughing, and attempting to flirt with some of the other patrons that would stop by their table.

Part of Geno’s heart crumbled whenever he saw Sid respond to some of the men’s flirtatious mannerisms, whether it be throwing out seductive words, or a teasing touch, or even a tickle of breath or the faint press of lips.

He knows Sid isn’t tied down to someone. Why would he, the man was a prostitute after all. But that didn’t mean watching him act like that with others didn’t hurt.

From the moment he first met Sid, back when they were teenagers to young adults and Geno had just started working at the Emperor Nightclub, he always harbored secretly feelings for the young Canadian. He remembered the first time he ever plucked up the courage to speak to him and slide him a cocktail: one of his first attempts at a watermelon cooler, too easy of a drink to mess up on.

It was a bit strong on the booze and not fruity enough, but Sid didn’t tell him that. He just smiled and thanked him in a voice that oozed sensuality and charm, throwing in a wink for good measure. When he saw how awkwardly the bartender responded to it— by stammering and not completely picking up the subtle cue— he dropped the act, apologizing for making him feel awkward. To which Geno has to apologize as well, because he didn’t meant to make the moment awkward, he just wasn’t good at responding to someone who was cute like him.

That made Sid pause and blush, looking away from the bartender for a split second before gazing back up at him, a gentle smile on his face. This caused Geno to smile back, the both of them feeling a bit more relaxed than before. When the awkwardness of it all faded away, the two of them began to chat during the bartender’s break, or whenever he would get a breather from serving. In those small conversations, he realized that the flirty prostitute was actually…very dorky.

A dorky man who had a passion for history, craved mozzarella sticks and cheesecake, and had a strong affinity for sports just like he once did. And he had the goofiest laugh Geno had ever heard and thought it adorable. Seeing this, Sid’s true colors was what made him slowly start to fall in love.

But deep down, he knew that Sid would never feel the same about him. To him, it was fairly certain that he would get rejected upon confessing his feelings. So, in every encounter the two had after that, Geno would simply swallow his feelings and allowed Sid to flirt and be affectionate with other men that weren’t him.

They were just friends, nothing more.

(Although he can’t help but secretly wish for that to change one day).

Geno sighed sadly and began to untie his apron, ready to go into the staff room and change back into his regular clothes when Tanger tapped him on the shoulder. He looked over at him, ready to tie his apron back on, when he sees him pointing to the stairs near the back of the nightclub.

Coming down the stairs was owner Mario Lemieux.

He turned back to Tanger, brow raised. “So? He does that a lot.”

“Yeah he makes his rounds like he usually does, but does he ever personally come to us for anything? Usually it’s Jen that does it for him.” Tanger points out as they see Mario making his way over to the bar areas.

Geno hummed. He had a fair point, usually it was Jen, Mario’s personal assistant, that went and searched for them whenever he needed to have a conversation with them. In any other instance, the bartender would not hesitate to flee whenever he could, but she would usually find him in the end.

But Mario himself coming out to talk to one— or maybe all of them— was highly unusual.

It was even more unusual when he realizes that Mario coming towards him. He didn’t know whether he should run, or accept whatever was going to be handed to him.

Still tying his apron back on just in case, he meets Mario halfway: near the dance floor but not that far from the tables.

“Ah, Geno,” he says as the bartender comes up to him. “I was just coming to talk to you.”

“Need me to stay extra hours?” he asked, seconds away from letting out a tired sigh. He doesn’t like the idea of staying later than 1 or 2 AM on most days, but if the boss says so, he’ll make an exception.

“No, actually,” Mario shakes head making Geno confused. “I wanted to give you something.” He hands the bartender an envelope.

Taking it, Geno still looked confused as to what it was until he opened it, then his eyes widened in shock.

“Boss, are you— Are you serious?!” he exclaimed as he looked between the envelope in his hand, then back at Mario.

“It’s just little bonus, if you will, for being one of my best workers.”

“This more than bonus and you know it!”

Mario placated him by resting a hand on his shoulder. “As I said, you deserve it,” he reassured. “I know it’s more than what you normally make, and more than the other bonuses I give, but there’s nothing wrong with giving a little bit more to hard workers like you.”

Geno gazed back down at the envelope. Inside was a bonus check of over $10,000.

“But—”

“No buts.” Mario tells him seriously. “I mean it. You’ve been very dedicated to your work from the beginning, even if you were completely new to it. But you quickly improved over time and became a favorite amongst The Emperor’s patrons. It’s not hard to see why, Geno. So, go on, take the extra bonus. Do whatever you want with it, a gift from me to you.”

With that, he gave the bartender a pat on the back before heading back upstairs to his office.

The whole time, Geno’s eyes never left the check.

It was a large amount of money. In fact, it was double than what he normally makes for a bonus: $5000 at most, but if his boss said that he deserved it…well, who was he to deny himself a paycheck like this.

Finally, his eyes left the large sum of money, trailing back to the beautiful prostitute that was still sitting at table eight.

Maybe…maybe his chance had finally come. He may not be able to have a proper relationship with Sid, but he could at least spend one magical night with him, for however long he could make it.

He didn’t know what Sid charged for his services, but he hoped ten thousand dollars was enough to satisfy him (he was sure that it was, he was just being really nervous about confronting him).

Gulping, the bartender slowly— and anxiously— makes his way back to table eight. Along the way, he tries to remember all of the fancy restaurants that are in Pittsburgh, and there are quiet a number of them within the city and the surrounding area.

There was the Altius that has an amazing view of the city… the Monterey Bay Fish Grotto is one of the most famous restaurants… LeMont has been around for decades and is still highly regarded… most of the locals would know about the Grand Concourse… since he liked boats, one of the Gateway Clipper’s Dining Cruises would be nice…

Maybe the Hyeholde since it almost be like dining at a castle… the Carlton has a lot of national recognition… Bravo! Italian Kitchen has a good menu and they do have creme brûlée...

Or…he may just happen to like the Cheesecake Factory instead.

Before he could even make a final decision on what he was going to say, he was standing right in front of Sid (or behind, since his back was turned to him). Luckily for him, his other friends were either out on the dance floor or chatting up the other bartenders; maybe they were in the back lounges, but Geno doesn’t really care, he needed to focus on his main objective right now: gaining Sid’s attention, even if it was for one night.

Reaching a hand out, he hesitates for a split second before he decides to gently tap Sid on the shoulders.

The prostitute turned around to see who was standing behind him again, smiling when he realized who it was. “Hey, G. What’s up?” he asks curiously while he licks something sticky off his fingers.

Geno stared for a hot minute before quickly snapping out of it. “U-Uhm—!” He blushed and scratched the back of his head. “I-I want you to know that Mario gave me big bonus just now…”

Sid smiled wider at that. “That’s great, G! How much of a bonus was it? The usual 5k?”

He shook his head, looking away shyly. “No…gave me double that.”

Brown eyes widened as he exclaimed, “Wait. He gave you $10,000?!”

Geno nodded, showing him the envelop with the check in it. “Yeah, and uhm…was wondering if…” He blushed darker, still keeping his eyes away from Sid.

The prostitute was looking at him with concern now. “If uhm…You want to spend a night with me…?”

Sid stayed silent for the longest time, staring blankly at the bartender as he processed what he just asked him. “Geno, are you— Are you asking me to…service you?”

“Yes. I mean, no! Argh!” The bartender shook his head, feeling more embarrassed and stupid now. “What I’m mean is…I take you to fancy restaurant, maybe do shopping, and…” The blush on his face grew darker. “I-If you wanted, we can go to hotel and… you serve me.”

A blush now came to the prostitute’s face. “O-Oh…”

Geno makes a flustered noise, still not looking Sid.

“I don’t— I-I don’t charge that much for a night's service, Geno,’ he tells the bartender with a shy voice. “Y-You can’t spend 10 grand on me in one night…”

“I-I’m know,” he nods. “But I’m try.”

Sid’s blush grew darker as he now looked away from the bartender. Neither one of them really knew what to say after that, the moment growing tenser and more awkward by the second.

Eventually, the prostitute was the one to speak first. “E-Even if you can’t spend all that money on me…it’d be nice to spend a night with you.”

Geno’s head snaps back to Sid, his own dark brown eyes widened at what he said. “R-Really?”

A small smile came to the prostitute’s face as he nodded. “Yeah,” he admits shyly, now looking back at the bartender. “I really do.”

He’s never admitted this to him, but he’s had a crush on Geno for a very long time now, ever since they met as teenagers in this very nightclub. He always thought the bartender would never want to be in a relationship with him because of what he does, but after hearing what he just said to him, he might actually have a chance to see if they would really work out.

“Uhm, great!” Geno exclaims with a grin.

Sid smiles a little more. “Did you have a particular restaurant in mind?”

The bartender pondered on the choices he thought about earlier before finally making a decision. “Altius?” he asks. “Is on Grandview Avenue and have good view of skyline.”

“Sounds great,” Sid nods in approval. “Maybe we could stop by the Cheesecake Factory afterwards. I haven’t had any in a long time and I’m overdue for a craving.”

“I figure you say that,” Geno chuckled. “Had that in back of mind in case you say no.”

An embarrassed giggle managed to escape the prostitute’s lips. “I guess I make my love of cheesecake very obvious, eh?”

“You do, but is okay,” Geno reassures. “I like that about you.”

Another giggle, this time, one that was more airy and a little bit giddy-sounding. “So, when did you want to do this? Tomorrow night?”

“We can do that,” he nods. “I take night off.”

“Are you Mario would allow that?” Sid raises a teasing brow at him. “I mean, he did just give you a big bonus. He may change his mind when he hears you taking a day off.”

Geno waved at him nonchalantly. “Eh. He not mind.” he tells him. “Besides, be nice to get away from club for one night. And I spending night with you, so is good reason.” He lightly smirked at him.

Sid’s blush couldn’t get any redder, but it manages to with the bartender’s words. Just then a waiter came by and served him another drink, this time, a vibrant sunrise cocktail.

He takes the drink with a nod and a slight smirk before the waiter walks away. He takes a sip before turning back to Geno, his smirk growing in seductiveness. “So,” he starts before licking his lips, a little cayenne salt sticking to them. “Will I be seeing you tomorrow night?”

The bartender gulped and managed to nod, trying to keep his dirty thoughts at bay. “Yeah…see you tomorrow night.”

#SidGeno #Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin #otp: we grew up together here #hockey rpf #my hockey fanfiction #mpreg tw #The Price of Love

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jesusmick · 4 years

Text

Sad Boy Hours in Mexico

I have always wondered about the deleted scene from s9e6 where Mickey meets a guy wearing a Gay Jesus shirt. Here is a little drabble I wrote to try to fill in some gaps and explain how Mickey decides to go back to Chicago and prison. Featuring Mandy bc I love her. (2000 words).

It is dark by the time he turns the key to his apartment, the faint click of the lock rattling the loose doorknob. He doesn't know why he even bothers to lock it. He has nothing worth stealing, the drugs and the cash both locked up safe in Alonzo's apartment across town. Even if he did have something of value stashed away in his shitty third floor apartment, nobody in the neighborhood would dare try to break in. The people here, his neighbors, they left him alone. Come to think of it, his coworkers did too. Maybe it was because getting in with the Sinola cartel had been his dad's idea. He had been working with them for over a year now selling overpriced party drugs to stupid American tourists, but the other dealers still called him "El Menor". The younger. The lesser. Even 2000 miles away in Cabo, Mickey was still living in his father's shadow.

He kicks the door shut and toes his shoes off, dropping his backpack by the door. He's exhausted. The fog curling around his mind begs him to collapse on the bare mattress in the corner of the room and sleep until he forgets. He has done too much remembering for one day.

Instead, he moves to the beat-up mini fridge in the other corner of the room. Besides the mattress, the mini fridge, and the broken dresser that had been in the room when he moved in, he is alone. The single bare light bulb hanging from a wire in the ceiling does little to make his home for the last 14 months feel lived in.

Opening a beer, Mickey steps out onto his balcony and folds himself into a plastic picnic chair he inherited from his neighbor when she moved out.

Elena. She had been nice, Mickey thinks. Young and terrified, she had reminded him of Mandy. They would occasionally sit out on their balconies together and smoke. She didn't speak English, and Mickey's Spanish was fairly limited, but they got on. She had moved out a few months ago after getting pregnant with her drug addict boyfriend. Mickey knew he was in jail now. He also knew that he was the one who had sold Hernesto the drugs he had been on when he robbed the liquor store down the block. Mickey suspects that Elena knew too, but she never mentioned anything. She never blamed him and when she moved out, she gave him a potted plant and the plastic chair.

The plant had died weeks ago. Mickey wonders if Elena had her baby.

Taking a sip of his beer, Mickey's mind wanders to Mandy. He knew she had left Chicago years ago. They didn't talk much, but last he checked she was in Los Angeles working as a cocktail waitress in a bar frequented by the same trust-fund babies who made up the majority of his clientele. In a way, he was jealous of her, but also incredibly proud. She had gotten out. Out of their father's clutches, out of their shitty neighborhood in the Southside, and out of her own way. She was making something of herself, all by herself, even if that something was watered down appletinis.

Mickey, he could never be that person. He needed others too much, he thinks. He was too soft, too lost in his own head, too attached. Those first few weeks in Mexico had been some of the loneliest of his life. That was why he fell in with the Sinola cartel in the first place. Well, that and the fact that he was in the country illegally, making holding down a regular job impossible. His father had connections and he was desperate for a distraction. He wasn't stupid enough to call his group of dealers and distributors a family. He knew that they wouldn't think twice about killing him if he did something he shouldn't. But Mickey wasn't stupid, and so far, coasting along in this new life had made things easier. He had a job, a purpose, and a small shitty apartment to come home to at night. It was enough.

Until it wasn't. Until today.

He thinks that maybe he was a little bit numb. That being on his own for so long had turned his head to business and buried his anger, his sadness, his fear under a thick layer of dust and cheap Mexican beer.

Suddenly, he realizes that he is crying. He doesn't know when it started, maybe since he sat down on the porch, but if the dotted teardrops soaking into his shirt are any indication, he has been silently crying for a while now.

He rubs his eyes with the heels of his palms and pulls out his phone. He doesn't know why he does it. But he finds himself scrolling through his contacts and pressing call before he can think twice.

She picks up on the 4th ring. Mickey thinks maybe he would have preferred it if it had gone to voicemail.

"Mickey?" She sounds like she is somewhere crowded, Mickey can hear car horns softly in the background and the sound of high heels clicking on the sidewalk.

"Hey, Mandy." His voice is softer than he intended.

"Hey." There is a long pause before she continues and Mickey thinks that maybe this was a mistake. "I thought you were in Mexico."

"I am. How's LA?" God, this is awkward. Fuck, he and Mandy had never been good with words, even at the best of times. Now, after not speaking in years? What was he thinking?

"It's good, I'm good. I'm on my way to work actually."

"Oh, right. Do you want me to call you back? Sorry, I should have texted first."

"No, no, its fine. I still have a bit of a walk. What's going on?"

And that's it, isn't it? Nothing is going on, at least nothing that should have any affect on Mickey's life. But here he is, sitting on his shitty porch, drinking his third beer, and trying to keep his voice from betraying the fact that he's been crying.

It's just not fair. It's not fair that he should be out there, moved on to some new chapter of his life. Some new partner. While Mickey is here, still somehow waiting for him.

"Mick, you still there?"

"Yeah, I'm still here." He rubs his eyes again, pressing hard until he sees spots. He keeps them closed.

"You heard from Ian?"

It's out there now. The reason he called Mandy. The reason he was so distracted and irritable after seeing that college kid from Chicago wearing the "Gay Jesus" shirt. Alonzo had shoved him out of his apartment while they were counting the day's profits and told him to go fuck himself after his fourth nasty remark.

"Yeah," Mandy answers, "I've heard from him."

"And?" Mickey asks, suddenly frustrated. He stares out across the balcony railing, streetlamps flickering and the warm glow from neighboring apartments illuminating the street below. They should be staring out at the street together.

"He called me a few day's ago. I guess you heard about the whole Gay Jesus thing. He stopped taking his meds, got in with the wrong people, blew up a van. His sentencing is on Friday."

"Jesus Christ." Mickey exclaims softly.

He's quiet then. He can hear the sound of a crosswalk through the phone and Mandy's heels on the pavement. He thinks she might have pressed the phone to her chest because he hears her greet someone softly and the background noise suddenly fades.

"I should go." Mickey says and he hates how his voice breaks. Hates that he let himself get this affected. Hates that he is here, alone, in his shitty apartment with his shitty job stranded in fucking Cabo of all places.

He is about to press end on his phone and go grab a fourth beer when Mandy's voice, suddenly clear, speaks again.

"He misses you, Mickey." And that is just too much.

"If he misses me so much," Mickey's voice wobbles dangerously, "why did he leave me in fucking Mexico?" And he is openly crying now. He knows Mandy can hear it. And he hates that too.

Mandy sighs. "He's fucked up Mickey. Just like we all are. But he does miss you. He's pissed at himself for going off his meds and embarrassed that he let it go so far, but I think if you called him, he would listen."

"But he wasn't off his meds last year. He was himself. Or maybe he wasn't, I don't fucking know. He kept saying that he had is life together. He said he had a boyfriend."

"Some fucking boyfriend he turned out to be." Mickey thinks he hears real anger in her voice then, and he reminds himself that Mandy cares about Ian too. That Ian's sentencing was probably just as hard for her to hear as it was for him.

"He didn't even notice that he was off his meds, Mick. He just let him spiral until it was too late to do anything about it. He didn't even go to his hearing."

Mickey could hear the sound of metal scraping in the background and he thinks maybe Mandy was opening her locker before her shift started.

"What should I do?" He knows he sounded desperate, lost, but he doesn't care. He is desperate and more than a little lost.

"You love him, and even though he may be shit at showing it, he loves you too. Figure it out, my shift is starting."

"Yeah," Mickey sighs, "Okay. Thanks, Mandy."

"Bye. Call me later if you want."

She hangs up and Mickey drops the phone to his lap.

This whole day was just too much. Mickey isn't sure what he had expected Mandy to say, but hearing that Ian had gone off his meds and blown up a van wasn't it. When he saw the kid's shirt, he assumed that Ian had taken a job as some sort of gay preacher or social media activist and was now living a cushy life with his boyfriend in one of the hipster neighborhoods up in Chicago. His boyfriend who was probably just as smart and attractive as Ian. Someone who appreciated craft beer, who wrote poetry, and drank soy milk. Not someone with a lengthy criminal record, a fucked up family, who didn't know how to love someone without driving them away.

Somehow, knowing that Ian's life was falling apart, that his boyfriend as a piece of shit, and that he was going to prison gave Mickey a sick sort of vindication. He would never have let things get that crazy. He would have noticed Ian's mood swings and erratic behavior. He would have taken care of him and set him straight before he could have hurt anyone. Before he could hurt himself.

But Mickey knows that isn't fair, and truthfully, he is more worried for Ian than anything else. He has no idea what mental state he is in or how long his sentence will last. And prison is no place for someone like Ian. He's too soft. Too caring. Too proud.

With a new resolve, he wipes his hands on his jeans and picks up his phone. He doesn't really know who to call about something like this, so he finds the phone number for the public defender's office.

The call is quick and to the point. He knows what he wants and he knows what he is going to risk.

He agrees to meet them at the border in Tijuana in two days.

In the morning he will have to get a bus, a nearly 24 hour drive up the coast. But now, for the first time in over a year, a calm settles over him.

The plastic picnic chair strains as he stands, scraping against the concrete of his balcony.

He's not scared of prison. Looking around his room, he realizes that he has been practically living in a prison cell since arriving in Cabo. He is scared of Ian, though. Scared that Mandy is wrong. That Ian doesn't love him and that he is giving up his freedom, his future, for a man who has left him heartbroken so many times before.

As he crawls into bed, arranging his limbs under a threadbare blanket, his mind jumps back to a lifetime ago.

What you and I have makes me free.

Mickey thinks that he was right, back then. There is no freedom for him without Ian Gallagher.

#gallavich #mickey milkovich #ian gallagher #shameless #fic

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millennialzadr · 5 years

Text

WHY I LOVE ZADR!!!

HEY GUYS WHASSUP? LMAO

So this is a whole ass giant long post of me absolutely spewing my feelings of love for ZADR, it was the very first thing I wrote when I made this blog and I think it’s a nice, positive thing for my fellow shippers to inhale and enjoy 👌👌

it was originally a reply to mitarashiart’s post about why HE loves ZADR (link in replies) but I decided to delete that and make my own post since MY WHOLE ENTIRE TEXT WALL WAS SHOWN IN THE REPLIES and drowned out anyone else who was trying to talk (thanks tumblr mobile u fuckin idiot)

I had also posted a summary of an AU that I’m working on in the original post, but decided to remove it since it just about doubled the length (I’m thinking about posting it separately along with the wips I’ve been putting together, we’ll see 👀)

But ANYWAY, here is about a million reasons why I think ZADR is the fucking best, so if you like reading gushy gay ship feelings, please enjoy ❤️❤️❤️

[Posted June 2019][WARNING, LONG ASS THOUGHT BARF]

SOOO, holy hell y’all my journey back into this fandom has been a wild and unique experience for me, i went from adding invader zim to my bookmarks on kisscartoon, rewatching the series, finding out theres a movie coming out, finding out there was a shitload of content i’d never seen before (commentaries, lost episode scripts and audios, panels, the COMIC, episodes i’d never seen because the dvd i used to watch was scratched!! and a FUCKLOAD of quality modern fan art like oh my GOD) and finally curiously googling ‘zadr’ (which i was way into when i was maybeee 13/14) to see if there was any interesting new art, and holy hell, mita (the artist above) singlehandedly THREW me down the hole into modern zadr hell, first with his absolutely stunning IZ art (all his art is dope tho check him out yo), then reading the above explanation put the final nail in the coffin like, 100%

so i wanted to add onto his post here on why this ship got me so fucked up, both for anyone who might be wondering why on earth i’m shipping two characters from a kid’s show (i’m very aware how weird that is at first glance trust me) and also so i can get some ideas down for possible future reference (will i ever draw them? maybe)

(first of all, a disclaimer, and this is not pleasant to write but it’s important to address for clarity’s sake: I have no interest in romantic or sexual relationships between minors, and do not ship zim and dib as they are presented canonically in the show (as children). what i’m interested in is the conceptualized relationship they may have as modern adults, and i view zadr more as taking the concepts of existing characters and experimenting with them with different interpretations, which i personally think is a constructive and fun creative outlet, especially if these characters hold personal significance for you (childhood faves of course). growing up together is an important facet of their relationship, and certainly they were important to each other even as children (see: mopiness of doom) but as an adult i’m personally curious about what kind of adults they might’ve become, and that’s the focus of my interest. i’ll still be reblogging regular IZ art because it’s dope but if you see shippy looking art of them as tiny lil beans its either friendship or chibis (and i personally headcanon zim as getting taller with dib but some people stick with his canonical height when drawing them as adults, which is super short. it still doesn’t mean he’s a kid). aaand i wish i didnt have to write this and it would just be obvious but we live in a sick sad world and it is sourced from a children’s cartoon so i feel its necessary. end of disclaimer)

NOW THAT THAT’S OUT OF THE WAY

- ok, first reason’s a bit obvious - the nostalgia. holy hell, the feeling of rediscovering a ship that was popular when i was a preteen during the mid 2000s and discovering a totally new perspective on it as an adult comes with an almost totally overwhelming sense of nostalgia and comfort, as well as inspiration!! the kind of art that seems so common for zadr, these sketch pages of scenes and expressions and visual gags where artists would just scribble every idea they had and LOVE doing it, this was exactly the kind of art that made me so passionate about drawing as a kid, and it still sparks such a powerful feeling of love and admiration for me to this day. fan content of iz and zadr is simultaneously achingly familiar and totally new and fascinating, and it just makes me SO damn happy to consume, it is most definitely my new comfort content. and just, GOD. THE ART!! SO GOOD. FUCK

- now for the characters themselves: for some reason i just really love the thought of a mid twenties, modern Dib?? lanky goth dork, disaster bi, depressed as shit, uses bad sweaters and memes to cope?? when i was a kid i didn’t even LIKE Dib, but now i totally sympathize with him! he’s just a hyper obsessive nerd wishing there was more to life than the situation he got stuck with, how wildly relatable. he was a pretty big asshole as a kid (even to people besides zim) but he was also totally isolated and constantly bullied, so there’s a lot of room for growth. i feel there’s a lot of juicy character development potential for that boy, and there’s always been a special place in my heart for characters who are totally sad and screwed and hopeless, but there’s one thing, or person, that means the world to them and could possibly save them…

- aliens. Zim. i love nonhuman characters, i love monsters, i love aliens, i love characters that don’t understand human shit (and thus have much less room for shame or fear bc theyre just totally oblivious the negatives of modern society) and need guidance (bonding!!) from their human. i also love morally grey characters and characters with skewed logic, they’re always really interesting, and Zim himself just has such a unique personality and set of mannerisms, he contradicts himself a lot and you can never quite expect how he’ll behave, and i love that in a character, it makes them super versatile and fun, especially since there’s so many different possibilities for their development. Also, Zim is a gremlin, a little shit, and a disaster. I also love those traits in a character. And don’t even get me started on his character design?? big sparkly eyes? expressive antennae? monster teeth? complimenting colors? he’s adorable.

- mutual obsession. for someone like Dib, who seems almost repulsed by how boring and slow the people around him are, Zim quite literally personifies Dib’s escapist fantasies, both as an inhuman entity from beyond the stars, and as a person who’s knowledge, charisma and mystery far exceeds that of anyone Dib has met in his entire life. (so basically what i’m saying is that for a shunned, jaded misanthropist, an actual alien is terribly alluring, even if said alien is dangerous, stupid, and possibly insane). not to mention Zim vindicates Dib’s entire life passion, the supernatural! Even when their relationship is totally negative, there is not a single inch of room for Dib to get tired of Zim. as mita explained, they validate each other. for Zim, WHO AGAIN, IS TOTALLY SHUNNED, ISOLATED, AND HATED BY EVERYONE HE KNOWS, Dib is the only person in the universe who gives a single shit about him!! he gives Zim credit as a threat, a capable invader, which if you ask me is the sole thing Zim is after (he’s hellbent on his mission because it would win him the approval of the tallest, all he’s ever wanted is recognition from the people he thinks so highly of). He literally gets depressed when Dib isn’t around to pay attention to him, not even the tallest were enough to motivate him before Dib came back. these two have no one and nothing without each other, and while lifelong nemeses is fine and dandy, i personally prefer friendship, affection and love, cause i’m a softie like that. how could they possibly get there after years of actively trying to kill each other?? well, i think under just the right circumstances it could become a possibility after a long, long time.

- growth. i. love. me. some. good. character growth. especially for characters with trauma/mental illness, bc again, relatable. these boys have issues, and as mita mentioned, their canon stories are actually INCREDIBLY sad! but the happy thought is, they could recover! they could help each other recover, for little reason other than the two are the only source of happiness for each other. now of course this also opens the gate for angst lovers, but at the same time offers potential for comforting, uplifting content of the boys supporting and inspiring each other, maybe even to the point of becoming happy and healthy enough to create the lives they want for themselves (as in appreciating life and doing things that make them actually happy instead of the delusions of grandeur they both sought when they were younger). gimme that positive shit and let the poor beans be happy щ(ಠ益ಠщ)

- LITTLE THINGS. LITTLE THINGS THAT ONLY COME WITH CHILDHOOD FRIENDS. WITH HUMAN/NONHUMAN. WITH THE SHOW’S WEIRD LOGIC. Zim being the person Dib knows best and vice versa. Zim having an involuntary respect/admiration for Dib because he’s tall. Learning each other’s needs, limits, and communication methods, both emotionally and biologically. Sensitive antennae. Affectionate bickering. Being less insecure bc your partner literally has no idea why you see your flaws as flaws. Laughing at the flaws they do notice because they make no sense. Zim only wanting to eat waffles and chow mein. Dib being forced to overcome his depression lethargy and stay hygienic/keep the apartment clean because Zim has a sharper sense of smell and is afraid of germs. Endless conversation about anything and everything because they’re from literally different worlds, and endless intrigue. TOUCHING. TALKING. DOING EVERYTHING LIKE ITS THE VERY FIRST TIME AND ALWAYS NEEDING THE OTHER TO GUIDE THEM. HOLY HELL THERE IS SO MUCH POSSIBILITY FOR TINY LITTLE MOMENTS THAT MEAN THE WORLD. FUCK. GOT ME FUCKED UP.

so that wraps up the why. fuck man. its just such a good ship. if you read this big ass text post, thank you for indulging me, i hope you enjoyed it! because i enjoy it very much 👀 so stick around if you’d like to for a shit load of IZ and zadr content on this blog, possibly (MAYBE) even from me!! come roll around in alien hell with me why dontcha ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ its a fun time! thanks for reading!!!

SO THAT’S MY MANIFESTO Y’ALL, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH YOUR OWN REASONS!! I WOULD LOVE FOR THIS POST TO JUST BECOME A BIG GIANT PILE OF LOVE AND YELLING!! GO NUTS! SCREAM ABOUT IT! INFODUMP! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! I’LL READ EVERY LAST REPLY! Y’ALL DESERVE TO ENJOY YOUR SHIP BC IT’S LITERALLY THE FUCKING BEST!!! LOVE Y’ALL!!!!!!

#in this trying time of shippers being stressed over discourse #i offer a gift<3 because i love you guys #and we should spread the love #i want yall to go OFF #tell me every little fuckin thing about zadr that makes ur heart doki OK #LETS GO 👏👏👏#invader zim #zadr #text post #my post #long post

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