#i fucking hate tord

[hikkisunny]

HYAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH🤬🤬🤬

YOU ALL FAILED. YOU ALL REALLY THOUGHT I PUT MY TORD HSTING WAYS BEHIND ME?

NO

IT WAS ALL A BIG FAT JOKE. NONE OF IT WAS TRUE. TORD THOUGHT HE GOT ME BUT HE IS VERY FAR FROM IT.

When tord came to me saying that he was pregnant with my kids. I knew i was being hazed i knew it was all one RUSE.

Tord would never let himself get pregnant without ulterior motives. And then it hit me. HES TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD. HES TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD WITH HIS DEMON SPAWN. I knew i had to gain his trust to put an END to this.

So while he was at my beautiful house, i pushed him down the stairs and he landed flat on his stomach.. Blood got on my carpet but its ok my papa trained me for this!

BUT THEN HE ATTACKED ME.

I thought i was done for.. but despite tord big head, hes really dumb! So i just pushed him down the stairs again [insert 1st image here]

Turns out even satan himself isnt immune to brain damage, he passed out and i drove him to somewhere he isnt familiar at all with a water bottle. And i have a gun if he ever tries to come back

Goodbye Tord. Dont ever try and use me for your evil schemes ever again! I have a lot of blood to clean up. I actually should clean my whole place up to get rid of all the tord germs. Mostly my room

[siryaoimaster]

shut your gooner ass up tord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lilbitlost124]

// WTFUTURE FANART //

What? You guys thought I only made shitposts? Naaahhh I'm in art CLASS I be learnin shit

[wolpchen]

I hate these two so much (affectionate)

[tuxalfredo]

Big Dick is back in town again cus they decided to take another break. Not necessarily feeling better ofc but they're ready to post more.

Big Dicks artstyle also changed a lot while he was gone. Hooray.

🥓 new Tord design 🥓

and here's some lazy asf shitposts i gave up on

[baconcolacan]

How would Tom react if Tord shaved? Would he go feral? I would go feral.

HAHAHDHA

I’m assuming this is Stay AU so:

I mean, it’s not like he hasn’t dated his husband while he was babyfaced, they’re literally highschool sweethearts(debatable lmao). Plus when Tord was in his 30s he complained a lot about how itchy his partial beard was, so this shouldn’t be a problem.

But also he already got used to the beard now its just weird thaksndjf

Tom: ://

Tord: What

Tom: Kissing you feels like kissing a barbie doll now

Tord: HUH

[reinabeestudio]

okay yomiel since that last ask i have been searching for what felt like 15 minutes trying to look for that one joke art i made MONTHS back and since its relevant to your AHEM BLUE CODED IDIOTS i present to thee:

we still eating together? :)?

(💘) HHHGHGKGJHH,GMGGHKHJFKFKGKGKKGKGHGGKHKHKG FUCKING HELP ME. MY TYPE... THEY ARE COLLIDIN PLEASE FUCKING KILL ME NOW 0(-(

[yoinkschief]

Merman Tord can survive out of water for about half an hour but when he's been crawling around for longer than that he begins to get dehydrated. An hour or longer and it becomes harder for him to breathe and he starts to feel weak and thirsty.

OKAY DAMN I SEE YOU I SEE YOU SHEEZ

Tord can survive for like, exactly 30 minutes outside of any body of water, preferably salt water though, before he starts choking on,,, well,, nothing. So suffocating, that's the word. But this is only because his body goes into survival mode and uses up what water it has left in, on and around it to filter into oxygen before he doesn't have any left (And yes I do mean on his skin, like a frog) This can change though, depending on the weather or where exactly he's outside of the water Like, say he's in the middle of summer, he's basically gonna dry up like a fish stick, but if it's winter he gets like,,, an extra 15 or so minutes of breathing just because his body exhausts his resources slower while he goes into hibernation mode, yk? Weird anatomy shit

Additionally, I'd like to think that Tord does that thing where you just forget to breath, but instead of it being a thing where like "oops I'm too focused on this task, forgot I had bodily functions to attend to" and more of "OH MY GOD I HAVE TO DO THIS SHIT MANUALLY???" Cause he's just so used to his body having to manually intake air, like "lungs" are this new thing to him, he's used to body just casually filter the oxygen out of water for him that he just forgets to do it. But he does like RELIGIOUSLY drink water, like a SHIT TON of it. There's no real need other than a placebo effect where he convinces himself that it does something for him- it doesn't. He has a normal human body now so he has no need for water more than the average person does. HOWEVER, he can't drink sea water. He found this out the hard way and REGRETTED it, which was a NEW FEELING for him- the salt in it was unexpected. He didn't realize human tastebuds were little bitches but here we are. Edd and Tom witnessed him trying to drink it and Tom couldn't stop fucking laughing, but to be fair neither could Edd.

Also I'd like to add that the amulet around his neck is from Edd, the resident magic man of the crew. He gave it to Tord to as a sort of "prison" for him cause Captain Tom was scared that Tord would find a way to escape like the little escape artist he was so they wanted to make him,,, weak, persay. At least somewhat incapacitated and harming the merchandise was off the table. As a compromise, Edd gave him the necklace cause it said something along the lines of "grants those who are immortal who wear it mortality" and they assumed it would do something to hinder Tord, maybe make his freakish fish person strength null at least and he ended up Ariel-ing his way into being the Swab of the crew so he'd be in the Captain's line of sight at all times and too busy to think of an escape. (Just to be safe, of course, Edd more or less added some curse to it that allowed only himself to take the amulet off of his neck and no one else, so if Tord ever did try to take it off he'd zappered)

[droidsdoodles]

Tbatf buddies

Mia belongs to @insomniacflaaffy-official

[skaluli]

hi now me is here i didnt hit upload when i made this post so you get it now

[thegardengrows-infrozenrain]

i hate when i'm fronting because not only does that mean something on the internet triggered us, most of the time i'm not actually able to discern WHAT exactly it was, only that someone else saw something that vaguely reminded us of something, and that now i'm here and the body's shaking anxiously and i'm upset and i don't know what the hell to do about it.

so that's how my night is going.

[hikkisunny]

Some day im going to sink my teeth into tords flesh and rip him apart . Im gonna eat his innards and everything. This isnt homoerotic i just really want to bite onto his neck so hard he starts choking. I hate that guy. I hate everything he does. I hate this thing. I hate this bed too.

[siryaoimaster]

sketchbook doodles

[lilbitlost124]

happy birthday tord :D

yeah you get a silly ass comicc your'e welcomwe

update // haha look at this stupid ass animation asset haha so dumb not even colored in yet hehe loser ->

septemberrrr the siiiiixxxxttthhhhhh yeah that's you, that's your old ass ageeee

[wolpchen]

nah bro, its so fucking over for me

without the effect down here :3

[lovelornronnie]

(Click to enhance teh quality!!)

A piece I made for my fanfic "Paliperidone"!! You can read it here!! or click more on this post

"Paliperidone"

It was stormy nights like this that left Edd restless. Tossing and turning in his bed, trying to put his racing mind at peace as the booming sounds of thunder ensued. The hard pitter-patter of the rain came pouring down ever so violently, making a white noise that most people found comforting. But for him? It was what kept him up so badly at night.

It was nights like these that always made his thoughts race. The raging sound of the storm reminded him of the aftermath of the incident. The rumbling sounds of the storm sounded oh so similar to the explosions that emanated from the giant robot after Tom had launched that good-for-nothing harpoon that proved itself useful, the sounds of muffled rain outside his apartment sounding almost as reminiscent of the sound of the debris from said robot that came crashing down, scattering from each other as it fell. And the worst part? It made him think of when Tord came back to them, back to him.

He couldn't help but lay awake that night, his eyes so concentrated on staring at the ceiling as if there was anything worth looking at on it as his restless mind thought of that fucking traitor. The traitor that he still cared about, the one that he still worries for. Edd wonders what his life is like now, how he thinks of Tom for almost killing him, of Matt who overloaded his robot's system with his button mashing, of his self who genuinely cared so much, who wanted him back so badly... and for also joining in the button mashing with Matt.

He hated every thought that correlated to Tord, but it was something he just couldn't help. He felt so betrayed by himself for thinking that he finally moved on, finally didn't care, finally didn't yearn for that bastard. But tonight? It was as if he was back to square one, learning how to let go and move on. It made him feel so fucking awful, deep to his core. Because why? Why would he want to worry about someone who hurt his friends? Someone who hurt and betrayed him, with a ruthless smile on his face as he flew away into the sky? Someone who left almost everything he loved into a pile of rubble and dust, and killed the only tolerable neighbor that he had?

These questions were so unanswerable to him, that no matter how much he tried, he was only ever left more and more clueless. And even when he thought of an answer that was good enough to explain it all, it only made him feel sick. So he concluded that no answer would ever suffice. Eventually, on another stormy night, he'll find himself asking the same set of questions over and over again like a broken record player- feeling sick time and time again as he reaches yet another false conclusion.

Then a different kind of thought surged through, one that questioned all the things he wanted to come true. What if Tord came back to him for good and never left? What if he never made that giant robot in the first place, so that he had no reason to come back and leave him more broken than he ever was? What if they just...lived happily ever after? All together in one house having silly adventures and getting into all sorts of trouble? Edd yearned for the good old days and mourned for all the things that never happened.

The more he thought of it all, overanalyzing every bit of Tord's behavior and comparing it to the time when they were together and to the time that he went back, all the memories of them together from the first time they met, to the last time they ever saw each other. The stupid hypothetical questions he still clung to that he hoped would at least come true in another timeline. It made him feel so vulnerable. The tears in his eyes threatened to stream down his cheek, his face burning from the stress.

Edd sobbed his stupid heart out quietly, as the walls that separated him and his friends were thin enough that if he were to cry any louder, one of them would start frantically knocking with worry and annoyance. But then again it didn't matter how quietly he cried, as the rain was loud enough that it drowned out his miserable crying.

After crying for what felt like hours, he was left there sniffling, as small beads of tears formed and rolled down his face now and then. His cheeks were stained with tears that he didn't bother to wipe off as he lay there motionless. Echoes of a headache slowly disappeared, as the thoughts in his head started to ease in and stop. And for once tonight, he was at peace even as the storm violently raged on outside.

...

He then got up from his bed, thinking now was a good time to freshen up and wash the tears off his face. As he walked to the bathroom, he felt an odd wave of anxiety cover over him the closer he got to the bathroom. It made him dread something, but what? An intruder? His apartment was pretty secure, with cameras everywhere and a night guard in the lobby.

So why? Why was his stomach churning, as if swarms of butterflies were flying so violently around in him? He couldn't understand what was happening, why he was feeling like this. The closer he inched to the bathroom, the more anxious he felt.

Merely inches away from the door. He felt queasy, chest heaving and struggling to breath. There was nothing for him to be so nauseous and tense of, he felt that his fears were irrational and he was right. So why was he still feeling this if he knew it wasn't real? A gut feeling perhaps? Maybe his body was warning his mind of something it was yet to notice.

The last time he had a feeling like this was when Tord came back, or at least a couple of hangouts later after he came back... Wait.

Tord???

Tord.

No. It can't be. That's not possible. He was gone and he was never coming back...unless?

...

Unless he came back for him. Yes, yes that's it... He came back to apologize.

To make up for destroying everything. He's here to stay forever.... with him.

...

Yes, that's it. This explains the butterflies...his thoughts. How could he be so blind? This was the missing link! It was Tord! And he was finally back again, the real him.

Edd panicked the longer he stayed there at the door, his head full of thoughts of how this was all gonna go, and how he should react. Should he be happy, sad, or angry? How would Tord react? Would he be happy too? The more he thought of it the more of a wreck he was, shaking, breath ragged, sweating.

He finally reached for the doorknob with his sweaty palm, twisting the knob... he slowly opened it...

He couldn't hear any movement, no breathing. The bathroom was full of eery silence, and it only made Edd more anxious.

Finally gathering the courage to open the door, he swung it open enough for him to have a whole view of the bathroom, and there...

... was nothing.

Edd desperately looked around the bathroom, trying to find anything that was odd. If the shower curtain had moved 3 inches to the left if the window was opened by a little if the toilet seat had always been closed... but nothing

Tord was never there... and he never will be.

He looked to the ground and saw something knocked down on the floor.

It was a translucent orange bottle, his prescription for his schizophrenia.