#the real reason was because i wasnt there for the second call

[skaluli]

hi now me is here i didnt hit upload when i made this post so you get it now

[mangosrar]

cerebral

matt sturniolo x fem reader

this isn’t proof read 😛😛

suggestive ???

i knew this would happen. it happened with the last guy i went on a date with, and the guy before that. they just werent him. it was such a horrible feeling to sit across from someone in a restaurant searching their face for a more familiar one, one that had memories etched into his smile lines, one that had a piece of you with him. but the feeling of having him, but not being abel to have him, wasnt much better.

it was hard, finding the middle ground between my ex and my best friend. we both promised that if we ever broke up nothing would change between us. but it did. i was more cautious of him. i picked my words carefully when they left my mouth. i studied his body language whenever i was close to him. he was like a ticking time bomb. he could be set off at any minute.

lazy footsteps could be heard before i saw matt pad his way into my living room before he plopped himself down next to me. he let himself in. of course he did. he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees before turning to look at me with a sad smile on his face.

"you okay?" his voice was hushed. like if he spoke too loud i might shatter. i just nodded with a gloomy smile on my face.

"so why do you look so sad y/n?" he knew me so well and i hated it. i couldnt differentiate wether he knew me so well because he was my bestfriend for so long, or if because he was the love of my life at one point.

"just the date. i dont think you wanna hear about it" i let out a sad laugh as i spoke. his eyebrows furrowed for a second before he replied.

"youre still my bestfriend y/n. just because youre my ex too doesn’t mean you cant tell me about the new guys" he sounded genuine. like he didnt care about the new guys. like he wasnt mad about them. but he should be. i wish he was. i wish he was repulsed at the thought of me ever being able to move on from him. but he wasnt. i kept my eyes trained to the ground. there was a heavy silence as he searched my face. i could feel his wandering eyes burning holes into me. like he could see straight into my brain.

"he called me cerebral matt" i paused, eyes still boring holes into the carpet beneath me. "i didnt even know what it meant" i raised my eyebrows and let out a huff of air through my nose. "would it have killed him to call me pretty instead?" i finally looked up at matt to see his eyes still on me. a look on his face that i couldnt decipher. i hated that he could see my walls crumbling.

"you are pretty y/n" he cooed, his voice so sickly sweet. matts hand moved onto my leg. rubbing slow circles with his thumb. i hated this. i hated that he could sit there and tell me this and not be mine. how could he promise to soften every edge and hold the world to its best when he was killing me.

"you cant say thing like this matt" i pushed his hand off my leg and just like that the walls were built back up again. his eyes dropped to his hand that was now slumped onto the sofa then back up to my face. he knew this was coming.

"why not?" he knew why. he just wanted to hear me say it. i paused momentarily. weighing up my options. deciding wether to say the real reason or to just leave it hanging in the air and say something that we both know is a lie. i didnt know where i stood with matt. he would treat me like in still his girlfriend in some ways, caring for me, being a shoulder for me to cry on and always being there to hold my hand when i needed him to, but he would drop it after a few seconds, leaving cold, heart shaped scars in his wake.

"because im still in love with you" tears were threatening to spill as i spoke. his face didnt move a fraction. he didnt even blink, just staring at me like he was deep in thought. this was old news for him and he probably could have beat me to it but atleast he was kind enough to let me say it. matt didnt even speak. he just kept staring at me as he brought a gantle hand up to the side of my face.

before i could even pull his hand off my face his lips were on mine. i didnt have the type of self control to pull away. i leaned into him, craving the closeness, luckily he got the hint and pulled me into his lap so i was straddling him and the kiss grew heavy, his tongue forcing its way into my mouth, his wandering hands grabbing and groping whatever skin he could. he moved his mouth off mine and began trailing wet kisses down my neck and jawline making my breath hitch and my eyes close.

he began sucking and biting the skin on the side of my neck making me while. my hands found home in his hair, tugging softly, earning a satisfied hum from matt before he spoke against me.

"lets just get back together mh?" i was so lost in the way his lips felt on my skin i didnt even register what he had said until a few seconds later. i immediately pulled his head away from me and stared at him with wide eyes.

"what?" surprise evident in the sound of my voice.

"i dont see what the problem is, we both still love each other and i hate seeing you go on dates with shitty guys so why not?" i couldnt even reply to him. i just stared at him with my wouth hung open. what the fuck.

"if you dont want to, ill stop, but if you do, just say the words and ill give you whatever you want." he sounded so sure.

"yes" that was all he needed before he smirked and brought his lips to mine again, kissing me, hot and heavy.

the kiss was sloppy and desperate, both of us urgent for a touch we craved so badly. he ground his hips up, pressing his hard on into my heat making me whine into his mouth. i felt him smile against my lips before he kissed down my chin and throat before licking a stripe up it, pulling a moan from me, causing my hips to stutter against his involuntarily.

make up sex is good for the soul.

pt 2 coming soon an it’s spicy 🤓

taglist: @christinarowie332 @biimpanicking @soursturniolo @freshlovehacker @urmyslxt @kitaysworld @kvtie444 @chrisenthusiast @flowerxbunnie @mattsd0ll @itsjennarose @hearttshapedkisses @lovingsturniolo

[lifeonmarz-blog]

Astro Observations: synastry edition

- Hard aspects to Saturn is common in long distance relationships. - Moon square Pluto will put a relationship to the test frfr. - Sun square mars, may the biggest ego win. Me and this guy would always joke about how we both needed the last word. - Moon opposite Saturn gives me the hebbie Jebbies cus why are you treating them like that?

- Mars conjunct Jupiter = best friendsssss. I love this aspect it feels like you can talk about anything with this person. When anything happened in my life this person got the phone call. - Uranus is so fun in synastry the relationship most likely isnt conventional or long term but it adds such a child like enjoyment. Practicality goes out the window and its just about enjoying the present because there be some ghosting going on sooner or later but yesssss show up at my door unannounced i love shit like that.

- Too much 12th house is just a major red flag for me. Intentions are always in question. Gives love hate vibes. They could treat you differently based on who's around. Ive had many 12th house relationships atp i roll my eyes when i see this between me and someone lmao. Not all 12th house is like that though for example me and this guy had venus in 12th house both ways. I loved the way he treated me. Ive never experienced someone be so nurturing and giving so soon, but i just didnt feel the chemistry. On paper it made so much sense but the passion just wasnt there. I felt confused and ungrateful like i was wasting something but hey you cant fake your feelings. - Im going to make a separate post just on 12th house but Jupiter in the 12th gives such empty promises vibes. Its not even that the person is lying i think alot of times they wanna do the things they say but they overestimate their abilities or just take on too much. - Mars square Neptune is tragic the relationship has no real direction. Following the leader right off a bridge.

- With venus square Asc you don’t really like the way the person comes off. Things about their personality could have you second guessing if you really like them. Y’all can play tag with each other neither really trying to commit for whatever reason you dont see the relationship being the right fit but you like the idea of being together. It’s honestly just sad tbh lmao -Venus conjunct Moon is so sweet u feel like u always have a home in this person. Your phone calls will get answered with them. -Someone had a stelluim in my 7th house i thought he was gonna be husband material at first but nope he acts more like a fan. -9th house synastry is nice. You look up to this person in that area.

[roseworth]

Rose Wilson (pre-flashpoint) Reading Guide :^)

hiiiiii i need everyone to love her and talk about her all the time

this isnt everything, this i just what i think you need to get a pretty good idea of who she is <3 if you want more this list has most of her pre52 appearances (EDIT: and i have a post-flashpoint reading list now too!!!!)

all the important issues for her story are in bold and my personal favorites are italicized. in all honestly you can skip a lot of the bolded ones but i WILL take it personally if you skip my favorites

Deathstroke v1 #15 (her introduction!!)

Deathstroke v1 #45-46, #48, annual #4, #51

New Titans #126

Titans v1 #27, #33, #37

Teen Titans v3 #0.5

Teen Titans v3 #8, #12

Batgirl v1 #64

Nightwing v2 #112-115

Nightwing v2 #117

Teen Titans v3 #34, #40-41, #43-46, #57, #60, #71, #88, #90-91, #98-100

Batgirl v2 #2-4

Titans v2 #13, Teen Titans v3 #70, Vigilante v3 #6

Teen Titans v3 #77-78

Faces of Evil: Deathstroke

Teen Titans v3 #72-76 & #79-82 (second feature)

now unfortunately i love to explain myself so i gave my reasonings for everything i put under the cut:

welcome to the annotated version <3

Deathstroke #15 - this tells the story of slade meeting lillian worth, rose's mom, and then shows rose for the first time <3 honestly this one doesnt do much for rose other than saying that she exists but it still matters

Deathstroke #45-46 - before this, rose is kidnapped and escapes but i didnt include that in the list because shes not doing much until these issues. but she has things to do in these and has great moments of lili trying to protect her. dont bother reading any of the actual deathstroke stuff because i do not care what hes up to

Deathstroke #48 - rose meets slade for the first time!!! it does not go well

Deathstroke annual #4 - shes not in this til the last few pages but i get the content of rose mourning her mother where i can bc it does not get brought up for like 20 years after this. also rose being a badass is always welcome to me

Deathstroke #51 - this one is almost entirely rose's pov!!! granted shes not exactly the center of the story but still! it also starts showing her meta abilities and precognition which is so slay of her

New Titans #126 - this is the first time she gets like. an actual personality. and its great. i lov her dynamics with the other titans and i love kyle and donna kind of trying to parent her. and also shows a little bit more of how she feels about her mom hehe. in the issue before this she puts a gun to someones head which i think is also worth reading that moment of her however. its a one page scene and it never gets brought up again so i didnt bother including it

Titans #27, #33, #37 - honestly i think that roses entire time nannying lian is worth reading but she doesnt do a Lot in each issue so i felt bad including the whole thing sdjafhadsf but she has scattered appearances from #25-39 and theyre all FANTASTIC. one of my favorite eras of rose for sure

Teen Titans #0.5  - this is her joining her father :( terrible hate kill but its a very important part of her story. also she has a random family here which ??? i mean sure i guess. love that everyone was playing hot potato with rose for like 10 years though

Teen Titans #8 - calls herself ravager for the first time so its kind of important. honestly though i wasnt even gonna include this at first but decided that it was important enough to throw in. shes only on the last page of this though

Teen Titans #12 - this is where she loses her eye (see: takes her own knife and stabs it out) so its pretty significant. also bart reaching out to her and trying to help her is sweet :) i dont really care about brother blood at all though so i didnt include the rest of this arc but it starts at #9 if youre really interested

Batgirl v1 #64 - this one is extremely biased im gonna be real. i just love batgirl 2000 and this issue was really good for both of them honestly, its the two of them fighting and does a good job showing rose's relationship with her dad during this time and showing her skills 

Nightwing #112-115 - this one was just so much fun. i wouldnt call it 100% in character but theres a lot of good stuff about rose wanting a family and its rly sweet :( its also hilarious to me and its so fun to read it

Nightwing #117  - leaving her father!!! she really only shows up on a couple pages here but you know. its pretty significant. 

GENERAL WARNING FOR TEEN TITANS: a lot of teen titans was written by geoff johns and. i dont know how to put it other than that hes VERY geoff johns about it. there are bits of misogyny and racism in pretty much every issue. even after johns stops writing it still has some extremely iffy parts. so just be warned :(

EDIT: since making this list i have made yet another list of her tt03 appearances and whether or not they should be read so u can check that out if you’re interested <3

Teen Titans #34 - her intro to the team!! talks a little about how she got there and what shes doing etc. also wlw hostility with cassie

Teen Titans #35 - this one wasnt even on the list above because it comes with HEAVY disclaimers. this issue includes rose trying to rape tim, which i consider to be the worst moment in that entire book, and probably the most out of character thing rose has ever done. thank you geoff johns. HOWEVER this issue also has a lot of really nice moments with rose and eddie that i really enjoyed :( so just. disregard the first few pages if you read this

Teen Titans #40-41 - you will quickly find out that i am a sucker for rose and joey being siblings. in all honesty i know very little about joey but i DO know that he and rose have rly sweet moments in a lot of these

Teen Titans #43-46 - a lot of deathstroke stuff. mostly boring but rose does get to fight her dad here :) and also some more rose & joey moments. though do be warned as a cassandra cain fan these issues did send me flying into a blind rage because she is so out of character

Teen Titans #57 & #60 - precognition!!! rose being a badass!!! my love!!!!!! this is a good issue. it does go back on a lot of what its already gone over by saying "ooo rose is so murderous and dangerous!!" but. whatever. i like it when shes murderous. these are all part of an arc that goes from #56-60 if you want the full story but these two are the ones that rose has the most to do in. then #60 leads into Terror Titans which. um. was not good. very out of character for rose and just not an interesting story at all. but i mean if you want to read it she is in it

Teen Titans #71  - rose-centric issues my beloved hehe :) this issue is pretty good and sets off her story in the second feature starting in #72

Teen Titans #88 - rose rejoining the team!!!!! which i have mixed feelings on because it was clearly a "the writer wanted her there but didnt want to do the work to put her back so they just threw her in" situation which is fine i guess. it ignores a lot of whats already happened though :/ but!!!! lillian worth mention!!! woo!!!!

Teen Titans #90-91 - damian and rose's dynamic is so fucking funny and i love it. they are iconic together its amazing

Teen Titans #98-100 - final teen titans arc!! rose isnt specifically doing a lot but she does have some really good moments here. also she has an interaction with mia for like 2 panels so i need to cut those 2 panels out and frame them <3 but be warned. the writer was clearly going in the rose/conner direction for some reason which. um. hm.

Batgirl v2 #2-4 - ICONIC. i have issues with cass's characterization in this but rose is wonderful. she can be patricidal as a treat <3 shes planning ahead and shes a good fighter and shes murderous. what more do you need.

Teen Titans #70, Titans #13, Vigilante #6 - these are all part of a bigger crossover, Titans #12 and Vigilante #5 come before these but rose doesnt have anything to do there and i did not read them because i dont really care about the story of this one. but oh my god. this has some FANTASTIC rose & joey content. all of their interactions in this killed me esp the last part :(

Teen Titans #77-78 - oughghggogugughggh this one was so sad fr. i love it when rose tries to kill her dad but there were so many parts in this where i was full of pain. but also joey and rose moment hiiii !! but most importantly lili is revealed to be alive here!!! yippee!!!!

Faces of Evil: Deathstroke #1 - hiiiii im actually adding this one to the list nearly a year after i originally made it lol <3 but i love this issue so much and i cant believe i never added it. most of the reason i like it is because i like it when she commits patricide and like half of this comic is dedicated to her kicking his ass then getting her ass kicked. god i love her

Teen Titans #72-76 & #79-82 - FRESH HELL MY BELOVED <3 greatest rose story of all time <333 the writer is clearly weird about rose but who am i to judge. lots of good moments of her struggling with morality and finding out who she is and its a pretty good story and im pretty sure there was one part that made me cry

and there we go !! i know most ppl dont add their opinion to their reading lists however i mostly made this for my followers and i am the god of this list and i do what i want

[queensilber]

Supernatural: Witch‘s Canyon

Posting everything in this book that i think you need to know, lets go!

Summary:

Okay, so, the boys head to the Grand Canyon to solve a case of a fourty-year murder cycle. The spirits of variouse humans and animals alike attack the locals and they need to find out why and how to stop it.

It is set somewhere in Season two.

My opinion:

This was so much fun. Like, it was really like watching an episode, just a lot longer and with the magic ability to see into Sam and Deans (and a bunch of other characters) heads.

It also gave a little bit of a fanfiction vibe, just with the addidtion that everything is cannon and that all the random little facts and quotes are a real thing (i‘ll list those in a second)

And also there were flashbacks of their childhood??? That made me cry??? I hated john winchester before, but now even more so. (More about the flashbacks below too)

So yea, it was definetly worth it and i cant wait to read the others!!

Songs:

This is the music Sam and Dean listened to during the course of the book (some locals listened to music too, but i did not list those)

- „paranoid“ by Black Sabbath

- „turn the page“ by Bob Seger

- unspecified tape by Bad Company

Flashbacks:

There are two flashbacks to Sam and Dean‘s Childhood:

- the first one is Dean Remembering a time when John made him and Sam run through an obstacle course at age twelve and eight. Dean had to shoot a gun during it, Sam just had to point and yell „Bang!“.

In the process of that Sam got injured and cried and John yelled at him to keep going and that he was doing poorly. Dean comforted his brother and encouraged him, leading to sam actually making it. Sam did it and Dean cheered, but john kept yelling at them to keep going to the next obstacle.

- the second one was from when Dean was fourteen and Sam was ten. Their Dad gave them backbags and said what was in them could last them fir four days and they all went on a hike together.

In the middle of nowhere john then saud that they should not trust anyone on what they are told and left them alone, telling them that they should find their way (at very least two days of walk) back themsleves and they shouldnt have relied on him so much and he just… left.

When they checked their backbags they found that most in it was useless and they were also filled with rocks to make it seem like it was more than it was.

Thats so fucked up, like

Those are children. And the worst part, when Dean rememvers this he thinks of it almost positively because it taught him a valuable lesson. I cant even begin to describe how my heart hurt for them.

Random facts:

Here are some facts from the book, i do t know anymor if those are mentioned in the show too, but it hardly matters, i think:

- Sam outgrew Dean at the age of 16

- Dean felt gutity over Jessicas death and thought that it was a „more solid basis“ of guilt than Sam had on the matter

- Sam can differentiate between uniforms of different wars in history just by a look

- Dean hates Rats. A lot.

Quotes:

Some quotes from the book:

John Winchester hunted monsters, ghosts, demons — the creatures most people only believed in deep down in their 3:00 am hearts, abd that they laughted off when the sun was bright and their spirits high.

It was a habit Dean had picked up from Dad — reffering to what they did as a „job“. To Sam it was nore of a Mission, even a calling.

„Sammy really likes cops,“ Dean said. „If he didnt have any talents he might have become one“

Sometimes he thought Dean wouldnt mind dying if he could go out in a blaze of glory, as the saying went. In moments of fairness, Sam knew that wasnt true. Dean didnt care about the glory; he cared about making a difference.

„I‘m coming around to the point, Sam.“ „He‘s Dean,“ Sam corrected. „I‘m Sam“. „Sorry, For some reason, you just look more like a Dean to me“

Gilmore Girls reference?

„You tried to shoot my brother“ Dean said.

Sam belived in a highter power, Dean didnt. Sam didnt have any special knowledge that Dean lacked, handt seen or heard or met God.

Lol, not yet.

Dean had been a kid, hadnt ever had a chance to become anything other than what Dad had made of him. That, finally, was the gulf between them — the canyon that could never be bridged.

Dean was an amazing guy, Sam knew, with skills and abilities most people would never imagine, and smarts Dean himself wouldnt credit, even though he relied on them all the time. And yet, at times like this, he was so humble, so unassuming, that he seemed almost unaware of the importance if his iwn contributions. At other times, of course, that humility vanished. Knowing and accepting both Deans, he guessed, was what being brothers was all about. Maybe I wouldnt want to be Dean, he thought, but i‘m sure glad I have him araound.

STOP MAKING MY CRY WTH

So anyways, that book srue was an experiance and i cant wait for the next one! I‘ll post a review of that as well and will update that post with a link to it one i‘m done!

Xoxo! <3

[minthara]

really long personal answer to an anon i got. trigger warnings in the tags.

First of all i wanna apologise to everyone who follows me for the last few days lmao, but i feel like if i dont post about it im literally gonna kill myself. I need somewhere to write down my thoughts because i feel bad always going to the same 2 friends i still have and complain about the same situation again and again about a dude they dont even know that well.

Thank you so much for ur message really, and sorry if im gonna take it as another excuse to write down all my thoughts, but i think it will really help me.

So the pathetic thing. I didnt ever post about this and in real life i think only like. 3 people knew. But after we broke up i begged him for months to take me back. It really was pathetic. And when he called me pathetic i think he was just very very hurt, because that was the second time i broke up with him (just a few weeks ago). It was in the sense of me begging him for so long just to break up again a few months later. I feel fucking stupid even writing this. I spent about 10k euros trying to get away from him, it fucked up my life so massively that i lost a job i really loved over it.

And now my new job is about 5 minutes away from our old apartment and i think thats a huge reason why i cant get over it. Every day i walk past restaurants, the supermarkets, anything we went to together. I had to buy snacks for work today and just burst into tears in the fucking supermarket because we used to go there together. The people at work are always so appreciative bc i know the area so well but they dont know how much it fucking hurts me and its so stupid like. Should i just avoid that part of town forever??? No fucking get over it bitch like wtf its a fucking supermarket.

And it also hurts because i know i wasnt always perfect and there were many times i was super mean to him. But at a point i couldnt deal with his ADHD anymore and that sounds so shitty but im a super organised person to the point where sometimes i wonder if thers anything ocd related but i dont think so. In my head i swap between i have ocd, i have adhd, i have borderline, i have autism  - i have no idea whats wrong with me, but the way i feel cant be normal. I know this because the way i behave isnt normal, i know i can come across as really strange, i cant judge social situations well and often dont know how to behave. But i constantly criticised him for symptoms of his mental illnesss.

But i never physically hurt him, and that was the last straw for me, why i left. I dont know how u can do that to a person you love.

And im just mourning the life i thought i was going to have so, so, so much. I know on tumblr ppl somehow think youre brainwashed when you want a traditional marriage and kids and stuff, but i really thought that was going to happen in the next 2 / 3 years, thats how i planned my life since i was fucking 21 and i met him. And now im almost 27, and i cant even go on dates because i cannot bear talking to new people because all i want is a clone of him but better.

I know i will look back at this and think “u cried about THAT guy???” in a few years, because thats how its always been in my life lol (except for one relationship, but were still really really best friends). I always think afterwards i will never love someone that much again. But it hits so much harder because it was such a serious relationship lol i really wanted to marry him. Sobs lol.

[nonbinary-eddie-munson]

I was thinking about how the run away with me au Robin and Steve "should we get divorced?" conversation comes about:

Theyre about 23 and Robin comes home in tears after another break up. The reason: Robin had asked her girlfriend of 8 months, Lorraine to move in with her and steve. Lorraine assumes this means steve is moving out and when Robin clarifys that no Steve is staying, he's an important part of her life theyre married for chists sake. Well Lorraine doesnt take that well, says she isnt going to spend her life playing second fiddle to Steve.

This isnt the first time a relationship had ended for either of them because a partner hadnt been able to accept that Steve and Robin were a package deal. Things had been especially rough for them romantically in the first couple years of their marriage. It wasnt until a particularly awful screaming match between Robin, Steve and Steves first real boyfriend, that they were able to admit their relationship was incredibly codependent and unhealthy. Steves boyfriend had been upset when Steve had cancelled on him for the 3rd time in a row because of a Robin Emergency™️ and decided to confront Robin about it while Steve was in class. Things escalated quickly when Steve came home early from class to find them arguing and immediately took Robins side. The argument and Steves relationship ended with a slammed door, a lot of tears and a new rift in Robin and Steves relationship.

It took a lot of long conversations with Carina and Marjorie, Steve working through his toxic masculinity enough to go see a therapist - He and Robin made a deal that theyd both go talk to someone about, you know almost dieing "do you think me being fucked up by what happened at starcourt makes me weak steve?" "No of course not!" "Well then why would it make you weak?" - and a summer spent apart (Robin taking an internship in rome to study latin) for them to sit down and have a long conversation about boundaries and ground rules for how they would navigate their relationship as well as dating in the future.

Steve and Robin agreed to both take a break from dating while they worked through their respective traumas, and figured out how to navigate their relationship in a healthy way. Things werent easy, the both of them occasionally backsliding into unhealthy behaviors, more than a few nights where one of them spent the night with Carina and Marjorie in order to have space from eachother. But eventually they get their shit figured out and decide to brave the world of dating again. Steve and Robin both have their share of flings and short lived relationships but nothing so far seemed to stick. That is until Robin met Lorraine.

Lorraine was funny, sweet and a little bitchy. They had immediately clicked after being introduced by some mutual friends from school. Robin really thought things with Lorraine were going to work out. Steve and Lorraine had gotten on like a house on fire, she had slipped into Robin and Steves dynamic easily, trading jokes and light hearted jabs, cooking breakfast together on days Lorraine would stay at their apartment. Robin had fallen hard and fast, she thought she had finally found someone who accepted that her and Steve were a package deal. So 8 months in when Lorraines lease was ending Robin (with agreement from steve) asked Lorraine to move in. Things don't go to plan. Robins dreams of a future with lorraine are shattered. She goes home broken hearted.

After Robin has cried herself out, her and steve cuddled together on the couch Steve is the one to broach the topic. Robin immediately bursts back into tears before he calms her back down again saying he doesnt want a divorce but he also doesnt want to hold Robin back, doesnt want to be the reason she cant find happiness. Robin replys by saying if anyone is holding the other back its obviously her, steve gave up everything to protect her afterall. Steve calls bullshit -years of therapy and he can finally say that word without cringing- says he would do it all again in a heartbeat, that she doesn't owe him anything. They stay up all night talking about it, about what the both of them want from their futures. Neither can see a future without the other. they're platonic life partners, one day they'll find their someones who can accept that and if not well, they'll always have eachother.

Of course they do find their someones in the form of a charming if infuriating metal head and a brilliant, sweet, and badass reporter. Through trial and error the four of them figure out how to navigate life together. They all live happy ever after.

Robin and Steve celebrate 30 years of marriage with divorce papers. They'll always love eachother but now they dont need a marriage to keep eachother safe. They dont need a marriage to stay as platonic life partners. They have eachother and they have Eddie and Nancy. They have everything they need.

-

Lmk what you think! I'd love to have someone to scream with about this AU and bounce ideas off of :D

Tagging by request <3 @ramyayaya

[crystalaris]

This was massively inspired by @novanitee

I have to say I loved a lot of your Yandere Moonknight stories and couldn’t help but wonder how a Yandere would react to someone who doesn’t want to leave and one who’s happy to stay. So if I’m being honest this was more for me, but I loved how it turned out. I hope you enjoy it as much as I loved your stories

Leaving Isn't an Option

Yandere Moonknight x OC

It's not so bad, being stuck here.

And 'stuck' is the right word.

I'm not really trapped, per say, just... encouraged to stay put.

Which is easy, it's not like I did anything else before. Go to work, pay the bills, cook, repeat.

Life was monotonous and very, very lonely.

I'm not sure when, where or even how I ended up in the world of Moon Knight. Or even the Marvel Universe. I didn't really get out much, didn't really have a reason to.

Just a boring and lonely existence.

Maybe it was wishing something would happen.

Maybe it was staring at the moon and quoting, "Second Star to the right and Straight on till Morning." Never really knowing if the star was my right or the moon's right because it's never been specified.

But something happened.

Something shifted.

I was no longer there, but here.

Which I understand makes absolutely no sense, but it happened without my knowledge and my days went on like normal.

I've never watched the news, it always felt misleading.

Never bothered with facebook, FarmVille had long since become boarding and redundant. Who waits 4 hours of real life time for one patch of strawberries to grow?

I wasnt going to spend five dollars on speed enhancers.

Never really called my parents, they finally got the kids out of their house? Why would they want to see me?

I've only ever talked to my fellow fan fiction writers and readers on Discord, but we all were focused on our mutual love for Undertale. So not really friend friends, but also not not friends.

Weird, believe me I know.

So absolutely no real reason to leave except for food and the extremely rare occasion for eating out.

I had no real reason to even suspect being on someone's radar.

I had never been and forever assumed I would never be.

Friends and acquaintances? Easy.

Family? Yeah, well you either have them or you don't.

Lovers? What's that? Can you eat it? ...Ew, on second thought don't answer that. Please.

So really, my life wasn't't anything special.

Or shouldn't have been anything special.

My life changed when I had decided I didn't want to cook that day. So I went to a Burger King next to a Starbucks. Simple.

Fill up on the fries and drink, have a burger for breakfast, all for a debatable price of 10 dollars.

Again nothing special.

A sit-down would be expensive and would remind me just how alone I was.

I guess I was pretty predictable, always going to the same places to eat or shop, but I never really noticed.

Never really cared.

Not until he, well I should really say 'they' , pointed it out. And they never pointed it out until they made sure I could never leave, which again I don't really mind.

I met them, him when I walked out the door accidentally spilling iced coke all over the poor guy.

Apologizing profusely, I had offered to buy him lunch as an apology, its not like I could buy the guy a new shirt.

I'm somewhat surprised I didn't recognize him to begin with, sure he looked familiar and his name was Steven, but what really should have sold it was the fact that Steven with a 'V' was Vegan.

Though I was more surprised that Burger King had vegan options, the impossible burger? Really?

I guess its in the name. Still, shocking, both the burger and my own stupidity.

But I liked him.

He was nice, well muscled, dark hair (that was my weakness, those cheating bastards) and polite.

Honestly, what wasn't there to love? We talked. A lot.

I was pretty thrilled when he shyly asked for my number. I thought 'Why not? It'd be nice to have a friend again.' And we traded phones, I never noticed him activate the tracking part of the phone.

I probably shouldn't have been so lazy and trusting (Jake has lectured me a lot on that, really that sweet worry wart) handing Steven my phone, in my defense I've never had to worry about that.

Steven once told me he finally understood why Marc and Jake had wanted to protect his innocence once they had met me.

Others probably would have been offended, me? I was honored and kissed him.

It was... nice, having someone to talk to, someone to text.

Someone I could just be me.

Steven would send these really cute or funny history bits, mostly Egyptian, sometimes complaining that gods can be annoyingly demanding.

Again, I should have noticed, but really would you notice? Or even care too? We all complain about god.

Looking back, I feel like my past self was one of those side characters on Doctor Who that never noticed aliens or the blue police box.

To be fair, its easier to notice things when they don't happen to you. Still makes me feel stupid though.

I never really found it odd that we kept meeting up when ever I was out shopping, passing it off as coincidence time and time again.

Sure there were times I felt someone watching, but every time there was no one following me.

Sure there was a feeling or two that made me glance over my shoulder a few times just to check, but then Steven would show up and it would stop.

Which was extremely relieving, having Steven by my side. After a while it turned stressful without Steven there to shop with. I tried not to, but calling him and asking if he'd like to shop together made the day that much better, that much less lonely.

It was on one such day, after feeling a piercing stare and finding nothing, that I ended up laying my head on his shoulder with a sigh of relief.

Of course I removed it with a shit load of apologies. But to my utter amazement, after he got over his shock, he just smiled and gently placed my head back on his shoulder.

"Are you sure?" I asked, again still a bit worried.

His smile was so gentle, so sweet, so warm, "Of course, luv." And placed his arm around my shoulder. Heaven could never have such forbidden fruit.

I, gladly, soaked up as much as I could.

Steven could be the nectar of the gods with his sweetness, he laughed quite happily when I told him that once, well it was a mumble, but still... true.

We didn't just shop together, I rather enjoyed inviting him over so he could teach me some vegan recipes.

Being with Steven made life, easier.

It was easier to breathe, to enjoy breathing again. I wasn't just moving through the motions of life, I was Living again.

I could actually look forward to tomorrow.

And when tomorrow came, Steven asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend.

I was flummoxed.

Me? Steven wanted me?

I didn't know it but Jake was rather close to fronting and yelling at me for daring to hurt sweet Steven, when I hadn't answered soon enough.

Tears had slowly fallen from my eyes and Steven nearly went into a panic seemingly about to apologize when I softly asked, "Me? Are you sure?"

It was the first time anyone had ever asked. Had ever looked at me.

His smile could have melted gold, easily shattering my shields, ones I never knew had surrounding my heart.

It burned, but somehow in a good way, still it was too much and I looked away.

He had to cup my cheeks in his hands, getting me to look at him. His thumb wiping away a stray tear, "I would love that, luv. Would you be willing to be mine?"

Choking back a sob, "No one... no one ever... ever... no one's ever wanted me."

I couldn't help leaning into his gentle touch, missing the frown that formed, but he quickly wiped it away from their face, "Not like that anyway. I've...I've had a few crushes, but nothing ever..."

I couldn't help looking into his eyes, practically begging for this to not be a dream, searching for even a hint of a lie.

I searched his face, soft and gentle, "Are...are you sure you want me?"

"Oh, baby girl of course we want you."

I wailed clutching him tighter as he leaned me on to his shoulder, as he shushed me rocking me back and forth, " I've got you, baby girl. Shhhh. We've got you. Shhh" years of pain, anguish, want flowed into those tears. "Let it out, mi amor. Let it all go."

I didn't leave his arms that night, or even that weekend. We refused to let go of each other. Sometimes the grips were tighter, or stronger but all it felt like was safety and home. I didn't want them to let go.

I was wanted.

I was happy for the first time in forever.

It nearly tore me apart watching them walk away, but I did have work in the morning.

Work had never been such a drag until then.

It physically hurt to be away from Steven, so I did the one thing I could think of. I went to the hardware store after work.

As much as it hurt not to ask Steven to come I wanted it to be a surprise, but like always I felt those eyes boring into me. It made me want to call Steven, but... but picturing his, hopefully, happy face? I could deal with the discomfort.

The feeling didn't stop, at least I think it didn't, I'm not sure when it did but the older clerk behind the counter had smiled when she saw my fidgeting, "Ah, someone special?"

I could only blush violently and nod my head nervously. Her smile widened, "What a lucky man." She reached behind the counter, and started running the machine.

"Well, ...he's my, my first... so..." my nerves were eating me alive, but it'd be worth it.

"Really?" She looked surprised as the lady looked me up and down, "When I'm glad. You seem like a sweet young lady." The clerk chittered on.

It was nearly ten minutes of constant chattering as the clerk milked me for information.

I didn't really want to brag, didn't want to jinx it, but it felt good to share.

It felt good to smile.

The clerk watched on with a warm smile of encouragement as I called my boyfriend, biting my bottom lip as she handed it over and I placed the small box into my pocket.

-click-

" 'Ello?"

Swallowing nervously, "Steven?'

"Luv?" He sounded a bit worried.

"Yeah, ah hi. I was wondering..." I couldn't stop tapping my fingers on my leg just to use some of my extra energy. Steven, sweet, sweet Steven just patiently hummed, "if you wouldn't mind coming over? Please."

Not even noticing the man walking away on the phone two isles down.

"Sure I wouldn't mind luv."

"Great" I squeaked before quickly repeating it in a more normal voice, " See you in a few"

"See you in a few, luv."

-click-

Letting out a large breath, I turned and thanked the clerk as I handed over the money with a smile on my face, "Thank you."

"No thank you for making this old lady's day. I wish you luck."

I couldn't hold back my chuckle, "And I wish you a good week of good customers."

That made her laugh as she handed me change, "Ah, I see, another fellow retailer?"

"Yeah, first few years of college were horrible."

"Say no more." She said with a smile on her face.

I returned it, "Again, thank you."

"It's no trouble, now go on, shoo!" She waved her hands, "you've got a boy to gift. Shoo!"

I laughed on my way out, feeling happy and hopeful.

A great day indeed.

It turned into an even better day when Steven opened the box to reveal my new extra house key.

I didn't see the kiss coming, "It's absolutely beautiful, baby girl."

Completely shocked, missing how his accent had dropped as I touched my lips a deep blush forming. "What? Baby girl, what is it?"

Looking up, I blushed deeper catching a glance of his lips before staring into those deep eyes, they were the same, yet they somehow held more.

"That- that was my first..." I squeaked.

"Oh, oh!" I never noticed as he held me closer, leading me into a hug as Steven glared daggers at the reflection.

(Jake was so proud, both at Marc's kiss and Stevens glare. His boys were growing a backbone!).

"I'm so sorry, luv!"

I couldn't help hugging him back, squeezing a bit before asking, "Could, could we... again?"

This made him smile as he leaned back and looked into my eyes with his warm, ice melting ones, "Sure."

The second one was warm and comforting, the third became ruff and deep and I couldn't help loving all of them, I felt wanted, I felt loved again.

This man was slowly becoming my entire world.

And everyday he would come over after work.

Everyday he would kiss me at least three times, each with there own flare, each with their own intensity and still I greedily accepted each and every one.

— — —

They, well Steven had been dating her for months, with Jake and Marc coming out on occasion. She never seemed to notice or if she did she brushed it off.

They loved her, they really did, but sometimes he wished she would notice. Wish she'd ask questions, it'd make it much easier to come clean.

Though Marc seemed to enjoy the lack of in his words, 'unnecessary' questions. Jake bemoaned the fact that she was so oblivious.

This may have started with an order from Khonshu, but it had become an obsession over time.

Layla was a strong woman and Marc had loved her in his own way. Marc's ex was strong alone, could easily, has easily fought confidently, side by side with Marc and Steven, but she and Jake clashed, each just as bull headed as the other, making a relationship a bit difficult with the three.

Plus Jake wasn't happy when Layla had smacked Marc across the face.

Marc had defended her saying he deserved it since he left, but Jake refused to let Layla be alone with Marc or Steven.

Deserved or not, if she did it once she would do it again and Jake refused to leave his boys defenseless.

He knew Marc and Steven wouldn't fight against Layla, Jake however...

So the three were just friends, while Jake only tolerates Layla for his boy's happiness. Sure they were sad at the end of the relationship, but Jake knew they deserved better. It's why he stayed as Khonshu's Avatar (and boy was that a shit show when he had dropped the beans, they forgave him and moved on. He really does love them.)

So when an order came to watch someone who doesn't belong in this world, all three went, each curious in their own way.

They would admit the woman was... ... ...boring?

Normal?

Well, she didn't seem like she was any different, but hey Harrow fell off the deep end why can't she?

So they watched and watched, it was an order, an easy order but an order none the less until Khonshu deemed her to be just another pathetic worm that no longer needed their attention.

They... didn't really stop.

They had noticed her schedule, had memorized it to the point they ended up following it subconsciously.

If anyone was to blame it was entirely the god's fault.

Steven thought she was sweet.

Marc noticed how lonely she felt.

Jake saw.

Saw how she was withering away, how she practically begged for protection.

Jake really liked how she seemed to sense them, liked how she trusted her instincts, weak as they were she still had them.

She was a walking contradiction in some ways.

She kept her head down and avoided people, avoided being seen, but they saw her.

They watched her.

They noticed how she seemed to hide and it flared all of their protective instincts.

Originally it was a way to pass time.

They didn't really need to work for money anymore, they had plenty and Khonshu had them take certain jobs, and if Jake could get some money out of it, then all the better.

Steven never really liked the 'blood' money, but Jake and Marc refuse to let Steven get stuck in retail or with another piece of trash boss again.

(Donna is still lucky to be alive, the two are still waiting for the perfect time. Its not murder if something just 'happens' right?)

But Steven didn't mind watching her, so they compromised.

Watching her for the day, and working with Khonshu at night (they slept when she went to work, no biggie).

At first it wasn't hard to leave for Khonshu's 'trips', but it became harder as time passed on.

Soon returning ended up as their priority and Khonshu could careless so long as the job was done.

Since Marc and Steven wanted the job done just as much to get back, Khonshu didn't really have any complaints, "Apparently even a worm has its uses."

He was dutifully ignored.

They wanted to get to know her, to be apart of her life.

And if she broke their heart? Well, Jake would take care of it.

All three had found something in her that they enjoyed.

For Steven, she was sweet (Hah! Told you guys so!) and so welcoming. She enjoyed listening to him and both genuinely enjoyed the documentaries that Marc and Jake became bored to death with. Even making a game of it at one point when she started explaining why one documentary was wrong, elaborating each point and encouraged him to do the same.

Marc, well Marc loved all the cuddles and how she showed that she cared (for Steven) making food and learning recipies together, always finding a way to touch. And just leaning on them in general.

It helped that she never pried or asked for more information. If she did and he said 'no' she dropped it unlike Layla, and would always remind him she was there if he wanted.

It was refreshing if Marc was being honest.

Jake rather enjoyed how she depended on him (them). She would tense up when they watched her from afar, like he said she had instincts.

He really liked when she started calling them every time she even felt remotely scared. Jake loved how she would lean on them for comfort and melt into their embrace after that first time.

It felt good to be needed in subtle ways.

She would ask for their opinions, but would also ask why instead of just obeying. He liked the little arguments, they were fun and unlike with Layla she didn't get violent when angry, just puffed out her tiny little cheeks, ardilla listada (chipmunk) he had called her and she responded with Qué?

"¿Asi que hablas espanol?"

"en inglés por favor"

He barked out a laugh and he loved the way her eyes sparked as she nailed the accent, all three were rather impressed.

"No."

"Sí"

"No"

"Sí!"

Jake, over all, enjoyed her spunk.

He did however nearly lose it when Steven asked her to be their girlfriend and she didn't respond, she nearly broke their hearts, but then it broke for another reason entirely.

She cried because nobody had wanted her.

And, well, that just sealed the deal, she wouldn't leave them, ever.

They'd never allow it.

If only they could get her home, right now.

...but even a starving predator is patient. So they settle for just holding her tightly in their arms, each taking their own turn, but refusing to let go.

Leaving was one of the hardest and yet the most satisfying things they have ever felt.

And Damn, it hurt to leave, but the way she refused to let them out of her sight, the way they could feel her eyes on them?

They had never walked so slow before, never looked back to her window so much. It was amazing to know she didn't want them to leave as much as they didn't want to leave.

So imagine their rage when she was late returning home from work.

Oh, they wouldn't have been worried (they were) since they followed her phone to the hardware store.

If she was mugged it'd be the last thing the asshole would ever know.

When it turned out she was the one to make a side trip, Oh they were pissed.

They loved her, but she should have, no needed to be home with them, she shouldn't have left! Job or no.

Jake wondered if it was too soon to dish out a bit of punishment. They really didn't like how the lady looked at their girl.

Jake did, however, settle a bit when he saw how she looked around and fingered her phone, the other two noticed as well and calmed down, just a bit.

It helped to know she was still thinking of them, still she needed to be at home.

They chose an isle that was close enough to hear them, but still had the perfect view of their girl. Tense shoulders relaxed as their discussion went on.

So imagine their surprise when they answered the call. When Steven met them and was handed a personal gift.

She was definitely forgiven.

And in a way, it allowed each of them to come out. To show themselves to her.

She eagerly accepted their affection and they couldn't be more thrilled.

She was their innocent bean.

———

An: how she came here and how it ends I leave that up to you. Personally I’m a sucker for happy endings

[cheddar-baby]

people taking that compilation of photos of a cat licking a womans face as sexual / calling it full on zoophilia is more revealing of how they think than anything in the artwork L0L like why are YOU seeing it that way....

It does speak to a very strange world view. Like the piece is intentionally supposed to be uncomfortable because its a wall sized collage of poorly lit photos of a woman pretending to makeout with a cat but its a really big stretch to go from oh thats strange and uncomfortable to "this is zoophilia" this is pornographic. This is animal abuse at the highest level. The lack of recognizing its both just clearly not porn and that its clearly being presented in a gallery space, spaces we all know often host illegal porn.

Like i fully get being uncomfortable because it gives you very good reason to be, the piece is baiting you to be uncomfortable as a means to begin unpacking why that is. Its using the viewers assumption of photography as truth against them. The lighting is intentionally dark, amateurish on camera flash, and framed in extreme closeup (used often to show intimacy or claustrophobia). Then it has the scale (it is like 8-10 feet high) and repetition of the kissing to really cement the feeling. All of which is intentional on the artists part. Its a pretty normal thing for cats to lick peoples faces or sniff your face (idk what the cat was actually doing i wasnt there while it was shot) no one really questions this outside of it being gross that pets lick themselves clean its a pretty accepted thing. But you add that bit of posing to make it look like for that split second you took the photo that you were kissing the cat back and it transforms the entire thing.

Its really smart in how it instantly cuts through people to immediate disgust and discomfort. When i saw it in person i sat there stunned infront of it for 10 minutes because its genuinely incredibly striking and punctures you right in the gut. But when you peel away at it you get a really great lesson on photography theory. These photos aren't real at least in the sense that no photos are real, they are manufactured and sculpted by the artist. This is what photography is about it isnt a document of truth its a heavily manufactured object that just happens to look real.

The piece is asking you to be uncomfortable its baiting you into discomfort. Which in itself is a fun emotion for art to envoke but the real beauty and genius of the piece comes out of unpacking that emotion and peeking behind the curtain.

[spidergutz-writes]

Could you do Otis with a shy reader ?

You can bet your shiny skeleton I can!

(So happy that I’m getting more requests now!!! 🤭🫣)

Otis has,,, mixed feelings towards you being shy

on one hand, he thinks your so adorable, staying behind him a little when people come over. The way you keep your hand around his arm for comfort/support

but, on the other, your shyness makes him question himself.

Is he the reason why you’re shy? Does he make you shy? Are you scared of him??

He doesn’t like making his family scared of him.

your his partner, which makes you apart of his family.

will harass kill anyone who says anything remotely rude to you

will ALSO harass KILL who even looks you wrong

If someone makes eye contact with you for .000342 seconds too long, they will die

if you ever move behind him because someone is making you uncomfy, or everyone is just being too loud or obnoxious, he will absolutely shield you

has gotten into several bar fights because of people just being a blatant asshole towards you and your quiet personality

yknow that one meme where it’s like

”is this…are you-are you giving me your number?”

”yeah, so you can reach me anytime”

”but…why?”

”if anyone gives you problems, just call me. I’ll fuckin kill ‘em for ya”

he would too. At the drop of a dime.

hes also stuck to you like glue. Never leaves your side.

especially if you guys are in public.

he’d be on you like white on rice in a snowstorm.

if you can’t do social interactions, don’t worry, he’ll do em for ya

though I’d watch out, because he may not be shy, but he does suck at socializing.

might intimidate everyone.

man walks around with his hand on you somehow.

your shoulder, waist, hand, head. Fuck, even your breasts/pecs

He just keeps his hands on you at all time. It’s mostly not even sexual, too.

COMFORT CUDDLES COMFORT CUDDLES COMFORT CUDDLES COMFORT CUDDLES

you two often have lazy days where you bathe in each others presence

just enjoying each other’s company. All snuggled up 🤭

Might learn what your comfort food is.

OOOOOH FUCK-

Im sorry this took so long. I had a small mental breakdown but I’m on track now. And I’m sorry that this is so short ;v;, but Please keep them requests comin in! It’s the only thing distracting me from real life situations-

but anyways, remember, I need feedback! Tell me about things you think I could improve on. Give me constructive criticism!! (Except for grammar. Istg if you say smth like “Oh bUt tHe i wAsNt cApItIlIzEd” i will fight you.)

REQUESTS: OPEN

[beesmygod]

BLOODBORNE LORE Q+A PART 5: BOSSES

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

---

THE HUNTER ASKS:

there IS a connection! where queen yharnam can be found, so can her shadows! they're HER shadows, not the shadows of the city. this is a reasonable inference given they have low poly pthumerian faces under the hoods. i brightened the shit out of this screencap to make it easy to see.

the boss version is found right before you run into her (or, really, one of her projections*) in the moonside lake and the others right before we bump into her on our way to deal with mergo.

*this is some speculation but its not without backing. the real queen yharnam can summon two ghostly clones of herself who can be distinguished from the real one because they are not pregnant. the one you meet before mergo poofs like the ones she summons during her fight if you hit her.

they do suck tho. kind of a shitty fight. if youre a confederate and you summon henryk its not even fair. something DID happen in development tho. lance macdonald, who does a lot of bloodborne datamining that whips ass, recently posted a comprehensive history of this bastard: the snake ball

despite the shadows of yharnam sucking ass and being one of the weaker boss fights, i seriously think this looks way worse and it was a good idea to cut it. if i reached the end of this notoriously grueling and miserably boring level full of literally nothing but snakes just to be served another, bigger snake i would become saint patrick irl. at least they pretended it wasnt snakes at first with the current fight lol.

i dont really get the snake infestation thing. like its there and there's the whole madras twins story or whatever. but it doesnt really seem to have any attribution to any outside force. it just seems like its some shit that happens in yharnam. sucks. maybe this is supposed to be another example of the line between man and beast blurring, like the note in byrgenwerth.

THE HUNTER ASKS:

lol i love this question. i have no idea. how tf does he know its name is paarl. it sure as shit didnt tell him. "vacuous rom" at least comes from micolash but i dont know how you would know it before that. how does the hunter know its a spider. how does the hunter know ebrietas is a girl. the insane confidence to decide that mergo's wet nurse is a wet nurse is unfathomable.

i saw someone on reddit call logarius "gary" and i thought that was very disrespectful. does that help.

THE HUNTER ASKS:

i think so! not a lot of info on those guys. i appreciate their existence tho. they have a sick hat you can steal.

i guess i don't really understand how fire works in the bloodborne universe, really. laurence's burning body could be read as metaphorical but none of the fires in yharnam go out easily. old yharnam is still burning, somehow. some pthumerican enemies can cast hadoukens for no reason, for example: the pthumerian elder, those chalice dungeon enemies that look like the chapel dweller, the keeper of the old lords and their horrible dog, the shadows of yharnam............lady maria..........!

the only one i can think of that breaks this pattern are the beast possessed soul and the loran cleric who tries to kill you IRL by lighting your PS4 on fire with his AOE attack. i know i post this all the time but please watch this 30 second clip of this asshole casting nuclear winter on this poor hunter

genuinely no clue on this. fire cleanses or whatever but other than that its a mysterious force in universe that behaves oddly.

THE HUNTER ASKS:

i believe so! she's at least a cainhurst knight if her outfit is anything to go by. its such a good fight. her song on the OST is a waltz and its like they created the fight around keeping time.

---

i should cut this here. next time i can focus entirely on rom/mensis/the one reborn, etc. almost done. that post will probably be long tho.

but everyone is so wrong about what happened so you have to deal with it.

I GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE

[witchersmistress]

Simmering Rage

Hello my darlings!! you are in luck today!! ive got a couple of chapters for you, typing this out on a cellphone wasnt the best but i made do with what i had.

Trigger Warnings: Anger, Rage, Blood and violence, and self hatred

Word count:4.3 K

August pov

 My phone chimes with a notification on the seat beside me. I check the screen. Lo again. I haven’t seen her since my car . After I found out what Harper did, I was in a bad place for a while. I don’t remember much of the rest of the mission. The monster operated in my place, holding space for me until I was ready to come back. When the mission l ended, and I had time to think things through, I stopped thinking about what Harper had done and finally looked at the facts behind it. Of course, my mind went straight to the one person who could have told her about Hockington—Gloria Walton.

They’d gotten close, thanks to me, and I fucking paid for it. For letting a Darling into my life, letting her get in with my friends. That’s what I get for letting anyone close to me. Still, it’s a dick move on my part not to at least give Lo a chance to defend herself. If she wasn’t the one who told Harper, I cut her off for nothing. Harper could have bribed someone who worked there, seen me leaving with someone and tracked her down, rooted through my stuff or Dad’s when she was at our house and somehow put it together. It’s better this way, though. Better not to have anyone around me who knows shit about my life. When Lo found out about room 504, it felt safer to keep her close, to give her a reason not to tell anyone. Even if we never talked about it, never talked about our families the way I did with Harper or any real shit, our friendship was real. 

But letting people into my life is a mistake. People blackmail and betray. And if it was her, if she told Harper… Well, Preston can fucking have Gloria. When my phone rings a minute later, I sigh and pick it up. We can talk once. Just to clear some things up. I’m not going to give her a ride anywhere, like I used to when she didn’t have gas money. My car smells like a swamp from all the times I’ve dropped my muddy boots and rubber coveralls in here this summer. Gloria would ask questions, and I’m not about to answer. “Hey,” she says. “I figured you’d ghost me again.” “What’s up, Lo?” I ask, my voice sounding weary. “Do you use the OnlyPics app?” “No,” I say flatly, bristling at the insinuation. “Why would I?” “That’s not—I didn’t mean you’d put stuff up.” “Why?” I ask. “You don’t think people would pay to see my dick?” “No!” she says quickly. “I mean, they would, if you wanted to put it up. That’s not why I was asking, though.” “So, you don’t want to see my dick? That’s not how I remember it.” I’m being an asshole, but she’s basically calling me a whore. She knows better than to ask if I use an app that’s basically a sex worker platform. I don’t get paid for sex, and I don’t need to sell pictures of my body for money. The OnlyPics app was supposed to be a companion to OnlyWords, which is a texting app with, as its name implies, only words in the messages. Everyone likes OnlyWords, but it has no photo sharing capabilities. So the same company made OnlyPics but it was basically a knock-off Instagram where you can’t use captions and the hashtags are hidden, only used by the algorithms to know who to show them to. It probably would have died a quick death if it weren’t for the sex worker industry, who cashed in on three key features—the ability to add a link to profiles, where they added their payment link; the fifteen-second video limit, which let them put up teases to get people hooked; and the private chat feature, which let them send someone the rest of the video for whatever fee they wanted to negotiate or even video chat for a live show.

 I don’t use the app because I’m not an amateur porn star, and if I want to watch porn, I can do it for free like everyone else. If I need a live feed, I have a phone full of numbers of chicks who would be happy to put on a show for me, and I can do more than watch and jerk off. I’m not interested in that any more than I am this app. “Okay, let’s try this again,” Gloria says. “You remember how Harper  disappeared off the face of the earth when you dumped her?” I stiffen in my seat, yanking the wheel to pull off at the nearest exit at the last second. The car behind me lays on the horn, but I ignore it. The noise is almost drowned by the pounding of blood in my ears. “Yeah, what about it?” I ask Gloria. “Well, I think I found her.” “On a porn site?” I ask, hoping like hell someone just uploaded the video of her sucking someone’s dick from last year. It fucks with my head to think that one year ago today, I didn’t even know the name Harper Avery. It was another month before I would see her giving head in the parking lot behind the tampon factory. “Hey, don’t judge me,” Gloria says. “Your brothers have been out of town all summer, and you’ve been ignoring me. I’m having a dry spell.” I could tell her the twins are back, but if she ran her mouth to Harper, I don’t want her around my house, running her mouth to my brothers. So I point out the obvious. “There are more than three dicks in this town.” “Once you go Walker, you never go back,” she says lightly. “And anyway, I only saw it because she sent it to Dawson.” I’m glad I pulled over at the exit, because I’d probably run someone off the road right now if I were still driving. I grip the steering wheel with one hand and close my eyes. My voice comes out so normal you’d think I was just a guy who dumped a girl and didn’t give a fuck about what happened to her since. “I’m afraid to ask, but… Does your brother always share porn with you?” “No, you weirdo,” she says. “Someone DM’d him, and I’ve been obsessing about her all summer, so he showed it to me. He thinks it’s funny as shit.” “Why are you obsessing about Harper?” I demand. 

What the fuck. Maybe I should have kept in touch with Lo. She could find out shit, maybe even the truth. “I don’t know,” she says. “Don’t you think it’s weird that she just… Vanished? I mean, I’m not saying you’re not worth going off the deep end over, or that you couldn’t eviscerate her heart so completely she could never love again. She liked to play it cool, but she really loved you, August. Like, the kind of love that eats you alive, and you’re never the same again.” “Put that shit on a ninety-nine cent Valentines card. You could make real money.”

“Keep playing, you didn’t feel it, too,” she says. “But y’all broke a lot of hearts when you broke up, not just your own. Everyone figured you’d get back together.” “What’s your point?” I snap. I don’t need a fucking lecture about how much I disappointed everyone. She can add it to my fucking tab for all the times I fucked up and pissed off everyone who matters. “My point is, even if Harper was devastated beyond repair, she’s not the kind of chick who would let a breakup destroy her. She’s stronger than that. You may be irreplaceable even to her, but you’re still a boy. And it would take more than one boy to break Harper.” Maybe not one boy. But one boy who shared her with two more against her will? A broken hand and a rope she couldn’t get free of, a swamp full of snakes more poisonous than her? Yeah. That could do it. “Then it obviously had nothing to do with me,” I say. “Maybe she got hooked on Lady Alice or Pearl Lady or whatever the fuck they’re calling it now, and she’s selling herself to pay for it like a regular junkie. Hell, her mom basically said as much.” “It did blow up the scene right around that time…” Gloria muses. “Maybe she’ll tell you for the right price,” I say flatly. “That’s all she’s ever cared about.” “August…”

 “What?”

 “Look, I don’t know everything that went down between you, but I know what it’s like to walk away from love. Just because you broke up doesn’t mean your heart wasn’t decimated, too.” My laugh is brittle, like stepping on glass. “You’re funny, Lo.” I could ask her, just come right out and be blunt, like King. But I can’t acknowledge that much aloud. The hotel is its own world. When we leave, we don’t mention what goes on there. I don’t tell the school that Gloria is a scholarship kid. I elevated her. And she never tells anyone that I get a room there every few months. Would she risk telling someone, knowing she could lose it all? Even if she hates me, she loves her status too much to risk it. What would make her turn on me like that? Harper didn’t tell that creep where she found out the information. But it has to be Lo. No one else knows. So, I hung up the phone, letting her think this is about a breakup.

 That it’s not about a murder, not about a girl coming back from the dead, a ghost dragging her broken body from the swamp and crawling back into my brain to fuck with it even more. I open my email, the one connected to the OnlyWords and OnlyPics apps by default because it’s all made by the same company. I barely remember thumbing away the automatic notifications I got when someone sent me a message this summer. I ignored them all, knowing they were porn spam. My chest is hollow as I open one from my spam folder. It tells me I have twenty-four new messages on OnlyPics. I follow the link and open my direct messages. The first one is a thumbnail of a video, sent this evening. If it’s from Harper, she changed her handle from BadApple. For a few seconds, all I see is a closeup of part of her tattoo. I take it in, examining it until I realize it’s her hip crease, and pressed along the back of her thigh, an expanse of pale skin. It takes me a minute to make sense of what I’m seeing. Whoever she’s fucking, he’s got her folded in half like her legs are over his shoulders while he nails her into the bed. There’s no caption, and there are no words even on the messenger, so I have to click on the profile to find an explanation. Apple Cream Pie, $1k/min. Time seems to skip. Some caveman part of me must take over, because the next thing I know it’s five minutes later, and I’m five thousand dollars lighter, and I’m slamming my phone against the top of the steering wheel over and over. I feel it crunch and snap, but I keep pounding it until there’s nothing left in my hand, and the pieces of it are scattered across my lap and the floor. Time skips again. I’m in my driveway at home. Blood is dripping down the steering wheel and into my lap. 

I open my hand and find pieces of glass jutting from my palm in a dozen places. And all I think about is that day my car was bombed, and Harper tried to pick the glass from my face with her tiny, careful fingers. I climb out of the car. There’s a black Jaguar parked on the gravel, a tall figure leaning against it. I walked up to him. Something in me seems to have been knocked loose, and I think I might fucking kill him, even though it’s just Oliver Finnegan, who never goes inside. He doesn’t approve of the family business. “Hullo, August,” he says, his Irish accent distorting the words. Or maybe it’s the ringing in my ears. “Am I in your spot? I can move the car.” “Don’t worry about it.” He cocks his head, his weird, pale eyes taking in the blood on my pants, my hand. “You alright, mate?” I shrug and head for the house. Just as I’m about to step inside, his brother steps out, a black duffle in one hand, probably full of cash or those fucking pearls everyone’s on about. Colin Fucking Finnegan. My eyes narrow, my fists clenching until I can feel the glass biting deeper, piercing through my skin and into the muscle and sinew. “Was it you?” I grind out. Part of me knows it’s impossible, but maybe he sent the photo on his way here, or maybe he took it earlier. I need Baron to find the date signature on a video, if it’s even possible. For all I know, Harper’s dead, and she took those videos herself while we were together. If she’d sell my dignity for a scholarship, why wouldn’t she sell videos of herself fucking 2other guys when she was with me? “Whatever it was, I bet it was me,” Colin says, flashing me a knowing grin that shows off his chipped front tooth. “Are you still sore about that beating you took last spring?” “You know what it’s about.” “If it’s not that, you’re pissed you didn’t get a cut of this,” he says, jiggling the bag. “Don’t fucking push me right now,” I warn. His creepy eyes go smug. “Or… You still on about that whore? I figured that’s what set you off last spring. Everyone in town knows I fucked her first. Are you just finding out?” “Where is she?” I demand, grabbing him around the neck and slamming him up against the wall. “Where the fuck do you have her, you cum guzzling, festering wad of infected dick cheese?” A cocky, defiant grin stretches his lips. “Aww, did you catch something off her?” he asks. “Wasn’t me, mate. I popped that cherry when there were barely three hairs on her pussy. Haven’t touched her since.”

I don’t know exactly what happens next. I don’t see Colin Finnegan in front of me anymore. All I see is red. The next thing I know, my brothers and Dad are holding me down on the steps, and Oliver and their uncle are holding Colin back while he curses and struggles and spits. The white gravel is painted red like the day the Darlings vandalized our house, but this time, it’s blood. “Let me up,” I growl, shoving off the step and wrenching free of my family. I stalk toward Colin, who writhes like a cat getting a bath. I can feel blood trickling down my face, the jagged edges of a few broken teeth, and the throb of one eye that’s already swelling shut. But I don’t feel pain. The other thing that lives inside me has swallowed it, and I can’t feel a thing. “Come on,” Colin yells, dancing in the grip of his brother. “Let’s do it again. I can go all night. Whoo! I feel alive!” I stop in front of him, ignoring my brothers, who have rushed up behind me to grab me if I lose my shit again. But I’m calm now. “Enjoy it while it lasts,” I say to Colin. My lip is broken and swollen so thick my words come out slurred. “If I find out you’re the one who sent those videos, you won’t be alive much longer.” I turn and walk inside. I don’t know why I care. I watched two guys fuck her. I gave them permission. I made sure to watch, so I knew I could never want her again, never think she was mine. I broke her on purpose, but piece by piece, I’m the one falling to pieces.

Harpers POV

“Are you Mr. D?” I demand, standing in the Phantom’s bedroom, my whole body quaking. I hold the tag in between my finger and thumb, waving it at him. He just walked out of the shower, his body all steamy, a towel around his hips, mask over his face. He shrugs. “What about it?” Anger seethes through me. “That’s how you knew where I was that night. Isn’t it?” He opens his dresser and pulls out his underwear. I know where he keeps them. I know where everything in his apartment is. But I didn’t know his name, have never seen his face. I come when he calls, practically live here two days a week, like a goddamn whore. He promised he’d fuck me one day, and now he has. I don’t know why it matters suddenly. I never cared before. He nods vaguely toward the windows. “I keep an eye on things.” “On me,” I say, sinking onto the edge of the bed. “You keep an eye on me.” “I told you, I can be anyone you want me to be,” he says with a haughty little smirk. “As long as you’re you, Miss A.” “As long as I’m August’s fuck toy,” I correct him. “That’s why you take those pictures, isn’t it? To send to him and show him what you’ve done to me.” “What I’ve done to you?” he asks, turning to face me after pulling on a pair of sweats. They hang low on his narrow hips. Above them, the ridges of his abs are carved deep and sharp. His body is a finely chiseled sculpture. I’ve never noticed, but he’s beautiful, even without a face. “What about what he did?” He paces forward, stalking, his voice laced with fury that makes me shrink back on the bed, as if he could hurt me more than I’ve been hurt. As if he could take something from me that he hasn’t been taking all along. “You changed me,” I whisper. “I saved you.” I stare up at him, feeling guilty for feeling anything but gratitude. He works out, takes care of himself, wears exquisite clothes to work at his standing desk with three monitors, an ergonomic keyboard, and a fancy Mac computer. I’m the one who should be ashamed. I don’t take care of myself until he tells me to. He tells me to shower, puts me in fancy clothes, makes me look like a girl who could be, in some fairytale in his mind, deserving of him. And he treats me like I am.

 He cooks me fancy dinners and buys me everything I need or could want without me having to ask. He even took care of my mother. I don’t treat him half as well. I don’t cook or offer to help clean up. I don’t even talk to him when I come over. While he cooks, I sit curled on his fine leather sofa, sipping his fine wine. The only thing I do for him in return for everything he’s done is spread my legs. If he’s made me a whore, I’ve let him do it. The first day he bought me something, the phone, I could have said no. But I didn’t. I let him dress me up like a doll, treat me like property, and fuck me like a whore. If anything, he’s shown me he values me more than I value myself. He bought me fucking diamonds. A girl like me, I have no right to even hope for this kind of man, this kind of treatment. I’m lucky to be his whore. But for the first time in months, I want to speak, to voice my desires. “You’re right,” I say. “You’ve treated me well. But I’m done being your whore.” “You’re not—” He breaks off, pressing his lips together and shaking his head. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. That’s not how I see you, Harper.” “How do you see me?” He stares at me a long moment. “I just wanted to take care of you,” he says at last. “I saw what they did to you. You’re not the only person…” He shakes his head again. “And yeah, I wanted to fuck you to piss off August. I’ll admit that. But I never saw you as a whore. I only gave you what you needed.” “Like these?” I ask, upturning the jeweler’s bag. The box falls out, the lid askew, one of the diamonds dangling out the side like something obscene. “Fair enough,” he says, moving across the room and sitting heavily on the bottom of the bed. “Maybe I had selfish reasons. But I never thought you owed me.

 I know you won’t believe me. I know what I look like. You think I can’t get laid unless I buy a girl diamonds. And you’re right.” “What about your girlfriend?” I ask, my voice thick. He scoffs. “I don’t have a girlfriend. Look at me.” “So you dressed me up and pretended you did,” I say, feeling like some weird blow-up doll. I’ve acted like one. I haven’t been a whole person since before the swamp. I’ve been a doll, broken into a million pieces, and he’s pieced some of them back together—at least on the outside. But he can’t fix me inside. He can reach in, but he won’t find anything to piece back together. I’m hollow. “I never pretended to be a good guy,” he says. “Don’t act shocked that I’m exactly who I was all along.” “But you never told me who you were,” I point out. “You never asked.” “I did.” We sat side by side for a while, neither of us speaking. “You don’t want to know who I am,” he says. “Look at me. Look at what I’ve become.” I could say the same thing. 

 When I tell Mr. D I’m not coming back, he doesn’t say anything. But he doesn’t get ready to take me home as usual. I ask if he’s taking me home, and he says no, but he doesn’t stop me when I take his keys. I keep waiting for him to come after me, but he just studies me, his face behind that infuriating blank mask, his one good eye watching me leave. In the garage, I climb into his truck. I’m sure he’s going to come down and stop me. My hands are shaking so hard I can barely get the key in. I open the garage on the bottom level of his building, and I drive out. I keep checking the rearview, sure I’ll see him coming after me. But he lets me go. Some sick part of me deflates when I turn into my driveway and he’s not there. Not even Mr. D thinks I’m worth hunting down. I climb out of the truck and go inside. Nothing has changed. But everything has. Without the Tuesday and Thursday excursions, I stop leaving the house. I ignore the staff that comes in and cleans my house on a weekly basis. I don't care where they came from or who hired them.

 There’s no point. I Don't even return his truck. It sits like an oversized monster in our driveway, drawing attention from anyone and everyone. I hide the keys inside a tear in my box spring, I sleep with a switchblade in one hand for the nightmares that plague my every waking moment, as if my fall from grace has given them permission to terrorize me, maybe they can smell my brokenness, my weakness, the way I can smell alcohol on Duke’s breath. And even though I was sure I felt nothing all those months, now that I don’t see the Phantom, there’s an ache left inside me that he once soothed. 

When I wake myself up croaking feebly, from a dream where I’m gagged, silenced as I try to force sound from my strangled throat, there are only blankets to wrap around me instead of his strong, salient arms. I stop leaving the house, stop doing anything. I can’t remember why it mattered to be clean, to eat, to live. One evening, as I’m lying corpse like in my bed, a tap sounds at my grimy window. I’m so startled I sit up before my brain can kick in and say what it says about everything—it’s not worth it. It doesn’t matter. Turning my head I see a crow pecking at the shiny part of my window. Standing up and making my way into the bathroom, I turn on the lights avoiding the mirror. I don't want to look at the girl in the mirror. I just can't.Turning on the hot water in the sink letting it fog up my mirror, I scoop the water with my hands and splash it on my face.

  I know I should care but I can't summon the energy. My sponsor is gone. There’s no way out. I’ve given up, accepted the fact that I’ll be just like my dead beat mother. Turning off the water and raising my head, reluctantly I look back at my reflection, I meet my soulless eyes and stare. I should want to rage against this weak girl that I've become, to become the monster those boys wanted me to be.. Turning off the lights and walking back to my room. Dropping back down into bed, I looked out the grimy window and let out a deep sigh, I can't stay like this broken doll. But I just don't care anymore..

A while  later, lying in my bed, I think maybe it’s time I did.

[kylejsugarman]

syd you are destroying me over here. what the fuck. what would “down” look like in au squared? would jesse’s parents take baby when they kicked him out, or would he just be left to navigate his. Unstable housing situation with an infant daughter and no support? im like i dont even know which one i would prefer you to say… down in au squared universe just Does Not feel good thank you for bringing it to our attention :-(

(frolics around cutely while i make everything worse for everyone) "down" never feels good ever tbh, between walt hitting his ableism victory royale and jesse getting his shit absolutely rocked by fate, its a miracle any of us survive that episode. au squared jesse of course fights his parents tooth and nail about kicking him out since ginny left him the house, but as soon as his mom says that they'll be taking baby too since he's not responsible enough, he backs down and is like "fine take the house, take whatever u want, but baby's coming with me". he obviously doesnt want to be homeless, but being homeless and not having baby is more than he can bear. she tries to reason with him, then threatens to get the law involved (i imagine saul helps jesse secure full custody of baby in addition to helping him buy his parents' house in season 3 :) besties), but jesse doesnt budge and takes off with her and their essentials, only for his ride to get stolen while he's in the drug store buying formula. they'd probably end up spending the night in the impounded rv (no blue tho. if i can spare my guy one suffering, it'll be the blue) with him genuinely not knowing if its Worth It anymore because hes literally laying in a mobile meth lab next to his crying baby who's too upset for her nighttime feeding, unable to provide for her but also unable to let her go. it feels so awful and selfish: she deserves better but he doesnt trust anyone to give her that. he breaks the rv out of the impound the next day the second clovis threatens them and drives straight to walt's place to get his money, riled up from walt ignoring his calls and clovis fucking threatening him in front of his infant daughter. "down" of course is a parade of walt being a dickhead because skyler has totally stopped buying his shit, so when jesse pulls up in person to beg for the money, walt snaps at him and tells him that jesse wouldn't even be in this situation if he were more responsible and that a real father would have found a way to provide for his child, which is not only vile but the fucking Wrong Thing to say to jesse after the last 24 hours. this is what provokes their fist fight and walt finally hands over the money, then tries to make some "look. we're both in this for family. we have to work together" comment to amend things as if he wasnt just yelling at his own son for using the car pedals wrong. having the money and getting out some of his rage and misery by pounding walt makes jesse feel better, but more than that, it gives him this adrenaline rush in terms of being a dad. sure it was a fucking nightmare, but he did all of that for his baby and he won. he fought to provide for her and he did. he didn't give in and just hand her over to his parents like she was some stranger that just happened to live in his house: he kept baby, he protected her through a disaster, and now he's never going to let her go. as he gets them a motel room for temporary housing with his cash and goes buck wild in the infant section at walmart and ends the day watching a happy, fed, clean baby play with her new stacking rings, jesse thinks about what walt said and feels a bitter kind of pride. "a real father would've found a way to provide for his child." well he did. he's baby's father and he's going to provide for her.

[bepop-moon]

!!SPOILERS!!

The Fourth Wing review !!!

WHAT. I just finished the fourth wing like 5 minutes ago and i NEED to talk about it before i go to the store and buy the second book.

- I am an ultimate book-lover and it takes a lot for me to dislike a book so this is just gonna be filled the positive things that i loved

I’ll get nerding about the world-building out the way first

So for starters, this book was so well written. As a fantasy lover, i’m a sucker for a well-built fantasy world. I loved how without being too heavy on description Rebecca managed to describe the world beautifully and naturally. I love how developed the history and culture is, the religion and beliefs and values.

I love Rebecca’s take on dragons. The idea of bonding and the mental communication and emotional connection. I don’t know how original it is but it was so well-done in this story. The design of the dragons and the different species are not overcomplicated and the way she wrote it made it easy to understand. I love the descriptions of the dragons, but also (this is just my opinion) i love that Rebecca didn’t shy away from the sheer size of the dragons. Ik in fantasy there are no rules about species like this, but in all folklore and mythology dragons are like, huge, and not enough books show that.

Overall, the world building is 10/10 and perfectly woven into the story.

Things that had my jaw on the floor

Something that had me ✨flabbergasted ✨ was the small details Rebecca snuck in there unnoticed. Now i was kicking myself when it came to Violet finally finding out her signet was lightning and Xaden tells her he suspected it from the first time they kissed. I went back and realised that in that scene lightning was striking. I usually pick up on these things 😭😭

Another example is- and this one hurt me physically because i realised like the paragraph before they said it- all the times dain “caressed her cheek” or “cupped her face” the actual vulgar little maggot (i hate him). I hate that they didn’t finish him off in this book and i so hope that Xaden or Violet ends him when they get back. if not i will.

Also, the ENDING??!! THE LAST FEW LINES??!! HELLO?!?!? I did call it though as soon as she woke up and Xaden looked at her wound and it was all healed up, i was like woah hang on i thought this was the venins poison. But I WASNT EXPECTING TO MEET HIM. I do want to just say that it really ticked me off because i don’t believe Xaden knew Brennan was alive but didn’t tell violet. I want to think he found out when he got there but i think he mentioned knowing this was the place to come or something. They must have a bloody good reason to be keeping this one ☝️

The characters 🥺🥺🥺

i was in love with EVERY single one of the characters. I love how every character was focussed on at one point or another so you could connect with all of them. I love the entire groups chemistry. I think an easier way to explain would be to go through them individually:

VIOLET- So, i made a post when i was in the early chapters of this book about how she annoyed me. She was very much a stereotypical “aren’t i just💁‍♀️…too small and weak🥺to play rugby👉👈” kind of girl, and i could see myself disliking the book if it kept up. I also said i can see how, if done correctly, she could have the BEST character development and gods, it didn’t disappoint. Rebecca showed Violet growing mentally and physically in a really real and natural way. It was forced, rushed or skimmed over. It was really a big part of the whole story, and i really loved it. Violet is my short, feisty girlboss and she’s litterally my idol. I volunteer as tribute guys, i will join the riders quadrant to be with her 😔😔. Dw, I can replace Liam. I love her sarcasm. She’s litterally me if i had confidence. Her chemistry with everyone else is on point.

RHIANNON- So dispite the fact that I was pronouncing her name wrong for a good chunk of the book, THIS GURL IS ONE OF MY FAVS. Everyone needs a friend like Rhi, period. She’s also a bisexual queen (** i will lead into this later) which makes me love her even more. Massive crush. She’s so badass.

RIDOC- okay now hes just a cutie patootie 🥰🥰 like “YES THATS OUR GIRL” when Vi beat the gauntlet had my heart melting. I want one. i want a ridoc. He’s my under appreciated baby.

THE OG GANG (Vi, Rhi, Ridoc, Sawyer)- I honestly wish they had more time. I could never get enough of them. The chemistry 😭 get me a friend group like this.

LIAM- i cried. no sorry i balled. like omg why was taking him like that necessary 😭😭 But i did know he was gonna die cuz i remember when he gave vi the wooden tairn he made, i said to myself “uh oh he’s too nice he’s not gonna live”. The emotional attachment i had to this man. But besides that, the whole backstory of him and Xaden being his foster-brother and the two of them having gone through so much together was soo good. I’m so glad Xaden was given a character to fall back on, and in a sad way, i’m glad that his loss was what made him break in the end. He stayed so strong for both Violet and Xaden. He’s so loyal and sweet, there is nothing not to love about him. RIP 🩷🩷🩷

XADEN- Where do i even start with this man. just love. love love love love ❤️ Ngl, i didn’t like his description and his initial impression looks-wise which (silly me with my high fictional person standards) put me off him for the first part. But- i made a post about this aswell- i think that’s just me personally not liking big, tall, dark, hunky men. I couldn’t picture him correctly. That is until i went onto pinterest and started picturing a slightly more buff Zayn Malik with fluffy hair and reading-glasses that i liked the sound of him a lot more. OkOk besides looks, I think Xaden is my favourite character. He was so compassionate to Violet as they got closer, and just every small thing he did i loved. I mostly loved how gift-giving is his love language. Okay let’s list off the things Xaden gave: The dagger, the saddle, flowers, dick, coffee, head, his jacket, more daggers. lol anyway he had it made just for her 😭😭 So i love how we got to see him and his high defences all come crumbling down at the end. He knew he messed up when he kept secrets, and the way he was like “i will try every day for the rest of my life to make you trust me again”. The battle- Liams loss and thinking he lost Violet must’ve affected him so much i just wanna give him a big hug. AND HIS CHAPTER AT THE END 😭 i squealed when i saw it was his perspective. i want more of that ngl. When he said he felt unloved since his father died. He’s a little bundle of trauma and i love him for that. Angst aside, the pet name, the banter, the mind talking thing THE CHEMISTRY AHHHH. Best boy.

The Family trio (Liam, Xaden, Bodhi)- their connection was so cute and refreshing. It was so nice to see Xaden have people he can rely on other than Vi, and they are so iconic. I wish they got more time. I also wanted to see more of Bodhi and how he dealt with Liam’s loss. It was all very Xaden-heavy. Let’s not forget about him 🥺

The cool bois 😎 (Xaden, Garrick, Bodhi)- Honestly, i bet they act like young teenagers. I like to imagine them getting extremely competitive over a card game like dobble or smt and flipping the table. The way Garrick and Bodhi both always had Xaden’s back, keeping his secrets, knowing his history, which he doesn’t tell many people. They also quietly had Violets back too, when they cleaned up her room after her attack in the night, and then hauled in a new armoire after their.. evening together. They are also funny and Garrick and Bodhi are so quick to defend Xaden in a rlly wholesome way.

Sex 🫢

Okay so this is a fun one 🤩 First i’ll talk about sexuality in this book and the representation. Although this is just a small detail my queer ass naturally picks up on, is how i love that sexuality isn’t an explicitly identified thing in this world, it just is what it is. You sleep with who you sleep with, you love who you love. It’s not a labelled thing. Rhiannon slept with tara- normal. Then she slept with Sawyer- normal. Ridoc slept with some older guy idk- normal. Ridoc then made jokes about sleeping with violet. normal. It’s just so natural and normalised and i like that she didn’t read too deep into it. that’s all. And also the Non-binary (again not labelled) rep with i think their name was Heaton? idk but i like never see they/thems in books so it was kinda nice. I think it’s a nice thing about creating a fantasy world, you can litterally portray things like this however you want, because it’s your fictional society, and you can give them whatever norms and values you want.

Ok smut 🫣. The book had good smut, a dedicated smut chapter, and a lot of steamy moments after that. But i won’t lie to you, the main smut scene was giving edward cullen destroying the bed 😥 like ngl i was scared- and then the lightning?!? girl- anyway it was wild. I like how Xaden was openly humble, reluctant to go any further in fear of “taking advantage of her after a shit day”, He cares so much 🥺❤️. The consent was a nice part. And then another thing, that kind of relates to what i was saying about the perks of being able to create the norms of a fictional society, is how they both mentioned they were on fertility surpressants. Both of them, not just her. I liked that small detail. OTHERWISE I WAS LITTERALLY SCARED FOR HER LIFE ON THAT SCENE😭😭

My only complaint about this in particular, some might disagree is that as much as i like smut in a book, i prefer it a lot more when it’s evenly split with fluff and wholesome cuddles and forehead kisses and stuff. It was just a very sexual-heavy relationship. Although, it’s understandable considering they ARENT ACTUALLY DATING !!!

Just some other things i liked:

- Tairn and Andarna 🥺 They are so cute just eeee!!

- Golden one and silver one

- “violence”

- Jesinia, using sign. love 👏the👏inclusivity👏

- The way the storyline all came together at the end. It’s just the best feeling when you read a book and you’re getting the ending and you can see all the small details tying together perfectly, and Rebecca did SUCH a good job at that

- I love the note at the beginning saying “the following text has been translated..” because it adds such a cool small layer of depth to the whole story

- How Rebecca showed violets trauma. She couldn’t bring herself to show weakness in front of others so she runs away to somewhere where she knows she can be alone to cry. How everything comes crumbling down on her when she sees mira again. How she panics when someone she loves is at risk. How she has flashbacks when she killed Barlowe. Beautiful 😍

- Jack’s death being her discovery of her signet and a big moment for her, how it was ruined by the fear and instant trauma of killing him (lol he had it coming)

Complaints !!

I don’t think i have many complaints about this book at all, only that all the guys look the same with different hair colours 😭 i said earlier about how i don’t like the stereotypical buff protective guy and that’s what im imagining them all as. More male diversity. Obvs i mentioned the lack of fluff. Probably could’ve done with more angst.

also dain was the biggest ick from the start

The next book???

I CANT WAIT!! i’ll probably stop by and buy it tomorrow. There are a few things i’m interested in:

-Brennan 🧍‍♂️

-Xadenviolet fixing itself

-Torturing Dain 😍

-The REBELLION!! hunger games who? violet everdeen who?

something i do hope is that it continues right where it left off, because istg if rebecca decides to do something clever and introduce a whole new set of characters and not even MENTION my babies until like the end of the book i will come to her house and scrap her (a formal threat). I hope it will be just as good as the first one!! it was very quick to be released but i bet she has a trilogy or series or something lined up she will be popping out soon. I don’t see Iron Flame being the last book of the series.

Conclusion 🤩🤩💃🕺

10/10 would recommend to young-adult readers!! It just had the perfect blend of, fantasy world, storyline, romance, plot twists and action that a story could have. Will give me so much daydreaming material to work with. Very inspiring for my own fantasy world aswell !! lots of small details to take inspo from and a very cool world to explore. The whole Xadenviolet arc from start to not-so-finish is annoyingly touching and Dain is just annoying!! (i hate him)

If you got this far thanks for reading :) xx

[marygodwin-bsd]

Rating members of the ADA based on nothing but my own vibes (I haven't seen all of season 3)

I'll post a part 2 with the port mafia and a part 3 with the guild

Dazai Osamu

8/10 for looks. 4/10 for the chuuya abuse. 6/10 for the fact everytime i hear his english voice it reminds me of hendrickson from SDS bc that is the VA. overall 7/10 character but I would not wanna be his friend in real life. follow his instagram at most.

Kunikida Doppo

Y'ALL ALREADY KNOW hotness 10/10, 6/10 for the possible terrorist backstory that would be oh so fantastic character building, 8/10 for the fact i ALSO happen to be overly obsessed with my own schedule, 4/10 for the fact someone called his hair a deceased pikachu wig and I laughed, 7/10 for the fact his english VA is Griamore from sds and that was weird for a few scenes. OVERALL 9/10 solid gold good man deserves a white picket dream (the remaining 1/10 is for the fact they couldnt help themselves with his spiky hair sticking out, so now it is effectively a mullet instead of just long hair)

Rampo Edogawa

7/10 on looks in general i have no strong opinions about his ensemble except that he looks like a lil detective and the IRL Rampo wrote "Boy Detectives Club" and i think its adorable. 8/10 for the fact his brain is awesome and the cockiness. 7/10 for the rivalry with poe because i like it but i havent seen enough of it to be super into their thing yet overall 7/10 I dont have much to say hes just a good boy

Yosano Akiko

5/10 for the design im sorry i hate that the skirt is that low she can have a long skirt but it looks way awk at the hips though that may just be because the skirt goes out instead of just downward like a maxi. the gold hair clip is good i like it. 9/10 for the way she snatched that mans hand and almost took it off, 7/10 for the scenes that make this anime look way sus to my parents (YOU KNOW WHICH ONES I MEAN!) overall 8/10 for everything except that damn skirt

Kenji Miyazawa

Team baby!! 10/10 for team baby and YES hes the team baby even though kyouka is ALSO the team baby but i'll get to that. 8/10 for being Finny from Black Butler without my issues from black butler. 7/10 for his morals on cows. 8/10 for his everything about his personality. im not rating on attractiveness bc he is fourteen >:1 idk why i wasted y'alls time explaining hes 10/10 for team baby

Kyouka Izumi

Ok she was going to be the team baby but then i reevaluated and decided no shes just ATSUSHI'S BABY. 8/10 for how adorable her jellyfish cut is. 10/10 for sad backstory. 6/10 for the fact people ship her with atsushi and the show seems to lean that way as well (I was so happy when Lucy arrived for this reason). 7/10 overall for second team baby

Atsushi Nakajima

6/10 for the fact my phone always autocorrects him to At Sushi. 7/10 for that haircut. 10/10 for awful father figure. 9/10 for the headcannon about his parents engaging in cannibalism that sounded so in-line with the show i thought it was real and not a headcannon. I'm sorry 6/10 for the fact the va uses the same voice for atsushi that he uses for Harlequin in SDS and it trips me up. 8/10 for the fact his eyes cant decide what color to be. 7/10 for the fact it feels weird to see smut with him in it because he is also, effectively, team baby.

These two

This poor guy got NERFED by his own story bro this author wasn't into all this.... sister stuff... but apparently his book character was! Gimme a minute to yak anyways designs are 7/10 pretty basic but do their job effectively and Naomi's appearance actually supports the headcannon shes not real and shes just a product of his ability which i like. The sibling... "relationship" gets 0/10 for EW but kunikida gets 10/10 for telling atsushi to ignore it but then still yelling at them after he gets 7/10 for his general personality, honestly if his devotion to his sister wasnt related to the weird incest stuff i would find it a really great plot device (being devoted to protecting and taking care of your only family left) overall naomi gets 6/10 for being okay and looking properly suited for her environment unless shes around Junchiro Junchiro gets 8/10 for having a sick matrix ability and looking basic but not boring

Fukuzawa Yukichi

GOOD OL' CAT LOVING GRANDPA HIMSELF. 3/10 for the fact he knows mori, 10/10 for how he looks after everyone. also 7/10 for the fact im realizing how kunikidas hairstyle might be because he is COPYING FUKUZAWA... anyways. I don't personally find him all that attractive but to be fair he doesn't show up a lot? 8/10 for being a badass. 9/10 because I feel sad that he didnt get to pet the kitty in Wan. Overall, 8/10

Pt 2 will go here Pt 3 will go here pt 4 is here

[idontlikejazzsonowitsmyname]

SPOILERS FOR ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE.

A quick (too short to be called long but too long to be called short) rant about Miguel O'Hara.

Alot of people who love Miguel hate Miles and alot of people who Love Miles hate Miguel and its all boiling down to the topic of is the theory about canon events correct?

Personally i prefer the idea that while canon events can be subverted they cant be erased, so for example Miles can save his dad but he cant bring him back to life, if that makes sense.

But i also believe that canon events arent real at all, i fully believe that Miles is proof that canon events can be ignored and prevented.

Anyways back to double full moons Miguel.

Alot of the people who like Miguel like because first of all, i mean look at him, and second because they believe hes a victim of his own accidental making, trying to prevent the same catastrophe from repeating, and alot of the people who dislike Miguel do kt because they believe that hes afraid of being wrong, that maybe he did cause his own daughter death, but that hes also taking it out via chokeslamming children.

I think that Miguel doesn't even believe his own theory, i think Miguel is a sad old man, caught up in his own guilt and trauma, a man whos so caught up in his ideas of survivors guilt and shame, that hes fully convinced himself that hes caused this, that hes killed his own child by simply being there.

I think Miguel wants to believe hes wrong, that the universe collapsed for a completely unrelated reason, but hes also so scared to find out what else could of caused so many people to die, what else besides a monster who wasnt even bitten by a spider to become spiderman.

Miguel isnt just infatuated eith the idea that he killed his own family, hes scared that hes wrong, because if he didnt kill all those people, it means hes been punishing himself for no reason, that hes been punishing the wrong man.

It also means that he doesnt actually know what caused the other universe to collapse, that theres something out there that could cause it to happen again and he doesnt know when why where or what.

Wouldn't you be scared too?