#i fucking love leaisa

[megaxard]

ive decided to start transferring over some of my kh text post edits from twitter, circa 2020-2022! the first batch is riku (feat. repliku)

[original thread] [#2, xigbar] [#3, xemnas] [#4, soriku] [#5, leaisa] [#6, roxas] [#7, kh1] [#8, axel/lea] [#9, demyx] [#10, CoM] [#11, DiZ hate] [#12, CoM/coded]

Below: Image IDs

[Start image ID]

1. The Master of Masters: i can see through the eyes of every Goku figurine (No Name)

Riku: This post made me promptly put all my DB figurines (Riku’s Keyblades, Soul Eater and Way to the Dawn) in a drawer and I’m not sure why

The Master of Masters: it’s so dark

2. Yuffie: A person I just met said “yeah I grew up loving the Percy Jackson books” and I accidentally responded “so you’re gay.” He was, in fact, gay.

Riku: “nobody’s ever said it that bluntly before but yeah.”

3. Riku: Remember when you were 15 and you were convinced you were evil and irredeemable and completely insane but it turns out you were just 15 (image of KH1 Riku)

4. KH1 Riku, with Ansem behind him: my gender is male as in Italian for evil

5. with images of Repliku and Chain of Memories Riku overlaid, they look very similar: I remember this one time the neighbor’s cat, Simba, broke into our house to fight our cat, also Simba.

reply: Kin drama

6. Riku: My DNA test results came back positive. I definitely have DNA.

Repliku: quit bragging

7. Repliku: life fucking sucks and has no purpose

Marina and the Diamonds: I’m miss sugar pink, liquor liquor lips, hit me with your sweet love steal me with a kiss,

Repliku: Actually I’m gonna go burn a cop car!!

8. Riku: Don’t ever lose sight of what’s important in life (being gay)

9. DDD Riku, looking at a hologram Sora: (falls in love with someone who was nice to me in my dream)

[End image ID]

[darkmatter-swordsman]

*shifty eyes* Hey. Hey. Gimme your KH ships. I have to see what occupies your brain.

I’ll give a top 5 w honorable mentions and the honorable mentions are very important

#1 terrarium terra/marluxia they have never interacted once and I don’t give an absolute fuck about it. What am I supposed to not ship characters w a ship name like terrarium it’s too good. To follow up on this my mind loves adores even pairing up marluxia with earth men so marlex is also like …. Top 10 for real

#2 xemnas and kingdom hearts. The whole moon. Xemnas is very very ace but not for that moon. It is a very visceral emotion I wouldn’t even call it love. I love ships that are absolutely incomprehensible ✨

#3 zexion/demyx hot topic boyfriends. They walk in and dem gets the buy two get one free band shirts and zexion gets a spikey bracelet and nail polish. They hold hands and share food court fries with too much cheese

#4 soriki kingdomhearts is absolutely riddled with the potential for polyshipping but this one is THE polyship. They all belong together for eternity you literally can’t have one without the other

#5 cannot decide if I like aqua/terra or aqua/larxene more. Aquaterra is very very cute but at the same time there is lesbians…. Larxene would treat a woman right no doubt in my mind

Honorable mentions:

Lex/xaldin big guys getting married , leaisa of course who doesn’t, moonflower (saïx marluxia) it’s just neat , marluxias angel forme and xemnas’ big dragon mecj , I’m forgetting more but this about gets all the ones I think about a lot!

Oh and I guess luxord and Pokémon elite 4 grimsly they have interdimensional poker night

[nadziejastar]

It’s Canon: Lea and Isa are Officially Soul Mates (Analyzing Organization XIII’s Weapons)

No. VIII - Axel (Flurry of Dancing Flames)

An assassin who puts his own agenda first, and everything else on the back burner. Wields fire.

Axel’s Chakrams are Ashes, Doldrums, Delayed Action, Dive-Bombers, Combustion, Moulin Rouge, Blaze of Glory, Prometheus, Ifrit, Magma Ocean, Volcanics, Inferno, Sizzling Edge, Corona, Ferris Wheels, Burnout, Omega Trinity, Outbreak, Double Edge, Wildfire, Prominence, Eternal Flames, Pizza Cut (joke), and Conformers

Axel (along with Saix) has extremely fascinating weapons when we look at the symbolism. I always liked Lea and Isa together as a couple and I suspected that the writers of 358/2 Days did too. But when I actually took a very close look at the weapons and what they truly represent, I realized that the writers must have LOVED them together. No, seriously. It’s extraordinary how many references there are which share a common theme: the Sun and Moon, masculinity and femininity, the balance of opposites and yes, even romantic love.

The Sun represents our ‘outer-world’, our identify, our personality, our ego.  It represents how we ‘shine our light’ out into the world, the present moment, and our yang or masculine archetype expression. The Sun offers us strength, courage and illuminated insight of the Soul.

The Moon represents our ‘inner world’, our hidden emotions, desires, our shadow-self, our fears, worries and our dreams. It represents our feelings, our unconscious beliefs, the past and our yin or feminine archetype. The Moon offers us the ability to feel, learn from the past and unlock and express our essence.

“I want everybody I meet to remember me. Inside people’s memories, I can live forever.”

Axel’s starting weapon is called Ashes. I think the name actually refers to two mythological stories. The first myth is that of the Phoenix from Greek mythology. Axel’s iconic weapon, his Zero Gear, is Eternal Flames. Associated with the Sun, a Phoenix obtains new life by arising from the ashes of its predecessor. Because it is continuously reborn from its own death, the Phoenix also took on the characteristics of regeneration and immortality.

The Phoenix is a very important symbol in alchemy. Interestingly, many of Saix’s weapons relate to alchemy as well. The process to create the Philosopher’s Stone was called magnum opus, or the “great work”. It has four stages: nigredo (black), albedo (white), citrinitas (yellow), and rubedo (red). Birds are are used to represent the progression through the colors. The final stage was symbolized by the Phoenix. Three of Axel’s weapons in 358/2 Days are based on these alchemical stages.  

The Phoenix dies in a show of flames and Combustion. Its claim to fame is its ability to be reborn from the ashes of its former, who dies in a literal Blaze of Glory. This is one of only two weapons that Axel can upgrade to ++ status. In alchemy, nigredo, or blackness, means putrefaction or decomposition. Many alchemists believed that as a first step in the pathway to the Philosopher’s Stone, all alchemical ingredients had to be cleansed and cooked extensively to a uniform black matter. In psychology, the term became a metaphor for the “dark night of the soul”, when an individual confronts the shadow within.

Burnout represents albedo. It is a Latin term meaning “whiteness”. Following the chaos of the nigredo stage, the alchemist undergoes a purification in albedo, which involves the washing away of impurities. In this process, the subject is divided into two opposing principles to be later coagulated to form a unity of opposites during rubedo.

Outbreak is the weapon with the yellow rim. It represents citrinitas, a term given by alchemists to mean “yellowness.” It is a term used to refer to “transmutation of silver into gold” or “yellowing of the lunar consciousness.” In alchemical philosophy, citrinitas stood for the dawning of the “solar light” inherent in one’s being, and the idea that the reflective “lunar or soul light” was no longer necessary.

“Bet you don’t know why the sun sets red. You see, light is made up of lots of colors. And out of all those colors, red is the one that travels the farthest.”

Flame Liberator, Lea’s Keyblade actually represents the rubedo stage. It is a Latin word meaning “redness” that was adopted by alchemists to define the fourth and final major stage in their magnum opus. Both gold and the Philosopher’s Stone were associated with the color red, as rubedo signalled alchemical success, and the end of the great work.

The Phoenix represents the freeing of the spirit from the bounds of the physical. It builds its nest which at the same time is its funeral pyre, and then setting it alight cremates itself. But it arises anew from the ashes, transformed. The Phoenix now realizes the nature of the spiritual; he has in this sense attained the Philosopher’s Stone, the spiritual core of his being. The true self manifests in wholeness, a point in which a person discovers their true nature. The Sun is analogous to the soul transmuted and illuminated, representing the perfect union of spirit, soul and body; the Omega Trinity. This is the center point of equilibrium sought by the alchemists.

The second myth has to do with Axel’s title, Flurry of Dancing Flames.The Hindu god Shiva has many representations in art, but perhaps the most famous is as a dancing figure within a circle of flames known as Shiva Nataraja, or Lord of the Dance. His dance is called Tandava, and its symbol is Agni, or fire. Tandava, the masculine form of dance, is forceful, often manifesting anger. According to Hindu legend, Shiva almost signalled the end of this universe by performing this dangerous dance after the death of Sati.

Sati spurned the advances of rich kings to the point where she left for a forest to escape the constant proposals. Eventually Shiva consented to make her his bride. Elated, she went to share the news with her father. However, upon her father’s expression of his disapproval of her marriage, she immolated herself, praying to one day be reborn as a daughter to a father she could respect. When Sati self-immolated, Shiva couldn’t control his anger, pain and agony.

Unable to bear the loss of his wife, he covered his entire body with her ashes as a sign that she will be with him forever. He then went into meditation for many years, ignoring all his godly duties. It was not until Sati was reborn as the goddess Parvati that Shiva finally came out of meditation. Thus the Tandava symbolizes the cosmic cycles of creation and destruction, as well as birth and death.

This very is interesting because Saix also has Shiva imagery in his weapons. And one weapon’s etymology ALSO references an act of self-sacrifice…in a fire, no less. Hmm. Sounds like there was some kind of self-sacrifice story planned originally. Maybe Isa offered himself up to be experimented on to protect Lea?

Shiva and Parvati then merge together and exist as the same being called Ardhanarishvara. It is depicted as half-male and half-female, equally split down the middle. The right half is usually the male Shiva, illustrating his traditional attributes. Ardhanarishvara represents the synthesis of the masculine and feminine energies of the universe and illustrates how the female principle of the Goddess Parvati, is inseparable from Shiva, the male principle of God.

“A powerful djinn with control over scorching flames hot enough to turn the whole world to ashes.” —Dissidia Final Fantasy Summon Compendium

Ifrit is a very popular summon in the Final Fantasy series, associated with the element of Fire. Inferno is one of his strongest abilities. They are also supernatural creatures in Islamic culture. The Ifrit are a class of subterranean djinn and held to be death-spirits, drawn to the life-force or blood of a murdered victim, seeking revenge on the murderer.

“As long as we remember each other, we’ll never be apart. Got it memorized?”

Ifrit shares its shape with another weapon, Omega Trinity. Omega is the name of the Greek letter representing infinity, so the natural meaning would have to do with his vow to never be apart from his two friends. I do think that’s one of the meanings. However, hidden in the weapon’s shape is another meaning.

According to alchemy, the Tria Prima are the three substances of salt, sulfur, and mercury that make up all things. These chemical substances are said to have similar properties to the three celestial elements that flow out from the mind of God into creation. These forces correspond to divine trinities found in many religions, like Christianity.

When salt, sulfur, and mercury are combined, it creates what is called an alchemical marriage, the symbol of which is the Ouroboros. The Ouroboros is the snake eating its own tail in the shape of a circle, representing unity, eternity, and how the beginning and the end coincide. It is associated with the the idea that all-is-one; light and darkness, Sun and Moon, masculinity and femininity, etc. He is the bride and the groom, the beginning and the end, the Alpha and the Omega. If Ifrit represents death, then Omega Trinity represents rebirth.

“Living explosives, prone to destroying themselves along with their enemies with their powerful “Self-Destruct.” Bombs take the rage built up by being attacked and transform it into energy. This, in turn, makes them grow, sometimes to incredible sizes.” —Dissidia Final Fantasy Files

Many of his weapons refer to bombs or explosives. Bombs are also enemies in Final Fantasy. A Delayed Action bomb is an aerial bomb designed to explode some time after impact, with the bomb’s fuzes set to delay the explosion for times ranging from very brief to several weeks. 

“Go on, you just keep running. But I'll always be there to bring you back!”

A Dive-Bomber is a bomber aircraft that dives directly at its targets in order to provide greater accuracy for the bomb it drops. Diving towards the target simplifies the bomb’s trajectory and allows the pilot to keep visual contact throughout the bomb run. This weapon is one of the two that can be upgraded to ++ status, implying that it’s particularly important to his character.

I also couldn’t help but notice that many of Axel’s weapons were shaped like the symbols commonly used for the chakras. Even Lea’s frisbee shares this shape. Just as there are 7 colors, and 7 Guardians of Light, there are 7 chakras designated to each of the colors. Axel’s weapons are based on the red chakra, the Root chakra. This is the chakra of security. It is comprised of whatever grounds you to stability in your life. It is the most important and fundamental chakra. The Root Chakra provides the link between our energetic system and the physical world and is the base for our life force energy. When these energies are blocked, our vitality and zest for life are also compromised.

Delayed Action in particular seems to incorporate the smaller petal design of the second chakra into it as well, the Sacral chakra. Associated with the water element, it’s characterized by movement and flow in our emotions and thoughts. Its symbol is the Crescent Moon. It’s the center of our feelings and sensations. It’s particularly active in our sexuality and the expression of our sensual and sexual desires. 

Doldrums are areas around the earth centered slightly north of the equator between the two belts of trade winds. The large amount of solar radiation that arrives at the earth in this area causes intense heating of the land and ocean. This heating causes various forms of severe weather, such as thunderstorms and squalls. Hurricanes originate in this region. The doldrums are also noted for calms, periods when the winds disappear, trapping sailing vessels for days or weeks. Without doubt, the doldrums are probably one of the hottest places on Earth. In the doldrums, the Sun becomes a laser beam and sailors are exposed to raw, piercing heat from sunrise to sunset.

Moulin Rouge is French for “Red Mill”. It is a cabaret in Paris, France. Its iconic red windmill originally had a Sun in the center and a Crescent Moon at the top. The original house burned down in 1915 and the new house no longer has the Sun and Moon design on the windmill.

Ferris Wheels is probably a reference to the Disneyland attraction that opened as the Sun Wheel. 

Both Moulin Rouge and Ferris Wheels use the achemical symbol ☼ for gold. Gold was associated with Sun and was one of the most prominent alchemical symbols, representing spiritual, physical and mental perfection for human beings. 

The tips of the rays, however, have the same shape as one of the symbols for silver. ☽ is also one of the alchemical symbols for silver. It was one of the seven base metals to an alchemist and often associated with the Moon. Silver was believed to have feminine qualities and associated with purity. ☽☉ is the symbol for platinum. Alchemists thought that platinum was the mixture of gold and silver and that is why the symbol was created to look that way. 

Ferris Wheels looks like it is made of platinum. Moulin Rouge is the black and red weapon. Sol niger is a term in alchemy meaning black sun. It can refer to the first stage of the alchemical magnum opus, the nigredo. The black sun is used to illuminate the dissolution of the body, a blackening of matter, or putrefaction.

Lea: You know what? I’ll bring ‘em back myself.

Ienzo: Huh? How, exactly?

Lea: Why do I always get stuck with the icky jobs?

There are several other weapons that are either silver or platinum, and all are shaped like the Root chakra of security and stability. Ashes, the symbol of death is one. As well as being a Solar phenomena, Doldrums also refers to a dull, listless, or depressed mood. Dive-Bomber is the aircraft that dives directly at its target for greater accuracy. It is platinum with red tips. Inferno and Combustion are just red and black. They might be a symbol of Ifrit’s desire to avenge the murder victim and the Phoenix’s death at the pyre. Inferno is a also a perfect circle, symbolizing the cycle of death and rebirth. 

And all the weapons have the “X” symbol incorporated into them. This is probably a reference to Saix and Axel’s relationship throughout the game. The only exception is Delayed Action. The bomb that doesn’t detonate right away. It it has black petals with red dots in them. A sign of rubedo within nigredo? It’s also shaped like the sensual Sacral chakra. Oh, I get it. That kind of delayed action.

Magma Ocean is shaped like a red and black yin-yang. You can even see the dots as a reference for the design. Yin and yang are two sides of a dualism. Yin is passive, feminine, and subdued. Yang, in contrast, is active, masculine, and expressive. You can use any color to represent yin or yang, so long as you can bring out the contrast. In Chinese culture, Red is a very positive color representing good fortune and joy. Black represents stability, calmness, the unknown and that which is dormant.

The actual term magma ocean refers to a theory of planetary formation. In the last giant impact, the Earth was struck by an object the size of Mars. This impact is believed to have formed the Moon. The Moon-forming impact was most likely the origin of the last major, deep and global magma ocean on Earth. Magma oceans may survive for millions to tens of millions of years.

Corona and Prominence refer to two specific Solar phenomena. Solar prominence refers to the glowing, red loops of plasma that extend outward from the photosphere, the lowest layer of the sun’s atmosphere. The corona is the outermost part of the Sun’s atmosphere. The corona is usually hidden by the bright light of the Sun’s surface. It is only during a total solar eclipse that the Sun’s corona and prominence are visible to the naked eye. In other words, it is only when the Sun and Moon are directly aligned that you can see these features of the Sun;s light. Prominence is Axel’s Zero Gear, a weapon said to draw forth its wielder’s true worth.

I also noticed that some of his weapons are purple, a color not usually associated with Axel. Wildfire and Double Edge are the purple ones. Wildfire also incorporates the color silver into its design, symbolizing a union with the Moon. Double-edged means something having two contradictory aspects or outcomes. Wildfire is actually called Rapid Spinner in Japanese, a reference to the chakras.

The Sanskrit word chakra literally translates to wheel or disk. In yoga, this term refers to the swirling wheels of energy throughout the body. The Third Eye corresponds to the colors violet, indigo or deep blue. It is considered the eye of intuition and intellect. This chakra has two lotus petals dedicated to the Sun, the other to the Moon (e.g. light and dark, or male and female) merged at the center.

The sixth chakra occurs exactly where the bindi is placed. A bindi is a decorative mark worn in the middle of the forehead by Indian women. In Hindu metaphysics, Bindu is considered the dot or point at which creation begins and may become unity. The bindi’s purpose is to enhance the powers of this chakra, specifically by facilitating one’s ability to access their inner wisdom, allowing them to see the world and interpret things in a truthful, unbiased manner. It is at the point of the Third Eye that the two main energy streams in the body are said to terminate and merge with the central channel, signifying the end of duality. The symbol for this chakra is the syllable OM, and the presiding deity is Ardhanarishvara, who is the half male, half female Shiva.

The bindi, especially a red-colored one, also serves as an auspicious sign of marriage. As the Hindu bride steps over the threshold of her husband’s home, her red bindi is believed to usher in prosperity and grant her a place as the family’s newest guardian. In Hinduism, the color red represents honor, love, and prosperity; hence it was worn to symbolize these qualities. One of the red weapons is named Corona, which also means crown of the head. In Japanese this weapon is called Crowning. A topor is a type of conical headgear traditionally worn by grooms as part of a Hindu wedding ceremony. According to a legend, the Topor was created because lord Shiva wanted a special crown for his wedding ceremony.

Prometheus, in Greek mythology, is one of the Titans, the supreme trickster, and a god of fire. His intellectual side was emphasized and he was considered a forward thinker. Prometheus lit a torch from the Sun and brought it back to man. However, Zeus was enraged that man again had fire. He decided to inflict a terrible punishment on both man and Prometheus. Saix’s weapons are all about astrology (and alchemy). Axel is the only other character whose weapon references a god associated with a specific Zodiac sign. So I think it’s fair to make the connection.

Prometheus represents Aquarius. Aquarius people are the visionaries of the zodiac. Aquarius rules emotional detachment, unpredictable energy and rebellion. Those of the Aquarius zodiac sign are humanitarian, philanthropic, and keenly interested in making the world a better place. They are also quick to engage others in this process, which is why they have so many friends and acquaintances. Aquarius is the most humanitarian astrological sign.

Aquarians are one of the most friendly and entertaining signs of the zodiac, and thus they can be  fun to spend time with. Their eccentric and empathetic nature leads them to be great advice givers, always happy and excited to help those in need as well as to have a listening ear. They make great friends, and work hard so that more introverted signs can come out of their shells. Their curiosity with the world means that they are always willing to accompany friends into new adventures. They are also generous givers, so if you are ever in need, an Aquarian will not hesitate to share whatever they have with you.

Aquarius can be eccentric and energetic. They are deep thinkers and highly intellectual people. They are able to see without prejudice, on both sides, which makes them people who can easily solve problems. If there is no mental stimulation, they are bored and lack motivation to achieve the best result. Although they can easily adapt to the energy that surrounds them, Aquarius-born have a deep need to be alone and away from everything sometimes, in order to restore their energy. 

Despite their friendly nature, they have a reputation for being outsiders - ones that cooly observe society, while sometimes also feeling detached from the systems that run it. Although they can be quite aloof, they are also deeply concerned with humanitarian causes. Aquarians tend to care very much for the welfare of others and society as a whole. 

Loyalty and honesty are two of the most important traits an Aquarius will look for when choosing who they like to spend time with. Aquarius will do anything for a loved one to the point of self-sacrifice if necessary. Freedom is important to Aquarians, which is why they like to keep things light on an interpersonal level. Amiable and cheery by disposition, Aquarius-born tend to have a plenty of social charm.

Although Aquarius-born are communicative, they need time to get close to people. Considering that they are highly sensitive people, closeness to them means vulnerability. They may have a lot of acquaintances, but many have very few close friends. Aquarians easily make friends with any other sign of the zodiac, but their friendship is particularly appreciated by the more quiet signs - as their extroversion can balance the other’s introversion, and bring the quieter person into larger groups.

Axel’s weapon Prometheus is actually shaped like the symbol for Mars ♂. It represents his weapon, the lance, which the astrological symbol is based on. Mars is also known as the “Red Planet”. The counterpart of Mars among the Greek gods is Ares, of the zodiac sign Aries. 

Thanks to its ruling planet Mars and the fact it belongs to the element of Fire, Aries is one of the most active zodiac signs. It is in their nature to take action, sometimes before they think it through. Its representatives are naturally brave and rarely afraid of trial or risk. They possess youthful strength and energy, regardless of their age and quickly perform any given tasks. Aries never does anything half-heartedly, so if you are spending time with someone under the Aries zodiac sign then you will feel the full force of their zest for life.

An Aries is ready to be the hero of the day, fly away and carry many endangered, powerless people on their back. Those under Aries often have a very positive attitude and are less inclined to feel pity for themselves than some other signs. At times they can be quite hot headed, given their propensity to seek out justice. If harnessed properly, the fire that burns inside them is something that will fuel their actions, and will push them to become defenders of both themselves and others.

You know what’s really interesting? Saix has a weapon that matches Axel’s Prometheus. It’s called Horoscope. It’s shaped like the astrological symbol ♀ for Venus, and it has the Mars symbol going straight through it. This weapon is one of only two that Saix can be upgrade to ++ status, so it is implied to be very important to his character. It’s pretty and pink and it even has a shape reminiscent of a spiky seashell. One of Venus’ iconic symbols is the seashell. And the middle part is gold, for the net of Vulcan.

There is a well-known myth concerning the forbidden love affair between Venus and Mars. Venus was the goddess of love and beauty, and was considered the fairest of all the goddesses. Venus was married to Vulcan, the god of fire and the forge. Vulcan was notoriously ugly – one of the ugliest of the gods.

At one point, Venus took up an affair with Vulcan’s brother, Mars. Handsome, young, and clean-built, he is irresistible to her, and they make passionate love in Vulcan's marriage bed. When he learned of the relationship, Vulcan was outraged and he crafted an unbreakable golden net to trap the adulterers. According to the legends, whenever Venus had an affair, Vulcan would get so angry he would erupt a volcano. This is supposedly the reason there are so many volcanoes. Hmm, if this was supposed to be a horoscope...

...It’s funny, because Axel has a weapon that is actually named Volcanics. It shares a shape with Prominence, his Pandora’s Gear and his Mystery Gear, Conformer. They are shaped like a symbol used in Buddhism and Hinduism known as a Manji (Japanese for whirlwind). Conformer is called Fuma Shuriken in the Japanese version. “Fuma” translates to “wind demon” in English. So it is literally the wind demon shuriken.

The Manji is a symbol representing the harmonious interplay of opposites. The horizontal line unites light and darkness, while the perpendicular line symbolically connects heaven and earth. These two combine to form a cross representing the universe in harmony beyond the limits of time and space. In Hinduism, the symbol with arms pointing clockwise (Ura), symbolizes the Sun, prosperity and good luck, while the counterclockwise symbol (Omote) symbolizes night. All of Axel’s weapons are Ura, of course.

Also, if you look in the middle of them both, you see that Volcanics has a ⊕ , the Sun Cross symbol. And the Fuma Shuriken has a Recusant’s Sigil in the middle. The “X” of death. Mystery Gear is supposed to bring out one’s true personality, so what does that say about him? 

…Phew, I guess that covers it. This meta took me like a month to make. There is no way that the writers put that much symbolism in if Saix and Axel were not viewed, at least internally by the staff, as a romantic couple. This officially proved it to me. Beyond a shadow of a doubt.

[saintmarcy]

whoever wrote the kh character files and stories said gay rights for lea and isa specifically

[misomilk]

Good day, fellow shippers!

There are 8 days left before akusai month starts. ARE YOU READDYYY?? Here’s some akusai quotes to get us in the mood.

Isa: I know I won't forget you. Believe me, I try all the time. Lea: See, I'm immortal! Isa: You're obnoxious.

For more info, please see: http://bit.ly/akusaimonth2019 (contains prompts, ask summaries, etc).

[venenix]

so i'm playing dream drop distance for the first time and i completely lost it at

lea: where is braig

always lea, but this time with the softest voice humanly possible: and isa?

[my-hot-awkward-turian-boyfriend]

3, 10, 22, 30 for the fic writing ask! 🤗

Do you write fanfics from start to finish or jump around? ~ I more often than not write them from start to finish. Every so often I may think of a short scene I haven’t quite reached yet (or am not ready to use yet) so I’ll type it out in my phone and save it for when I get to the point where I actually need it, haha otherwise, always from start to finish or else I won’t be able to keep track. I’ll still write certain scenes and be like “wait fuck did I already make this conversation happen” and proceed to spend the next half hour rereading previous chapters to make sure I didn’t just unintentionally rewrite an entire scene cuz I’m dumb lmao

Dialogue, exposition, or plot? ~ I think I’d have to go with enjoying writing exposition the most. I love getting into little details and writing inner dialogue for characters. I also love looking at a page of writing that’s just, like, four or five paragraphs with no dialogue breaks in between. Something about it just so...soothing to me, in a sense, haha idk exactly how to explain it, but exposition is kinda just my strong suit (if I do say so myself lol)

Have you ever cried while writing a fic? ~ I’m honestly not sure if I ever have legitimately cried, but I do scream at myself a lot like in the “holy shit I can’t believe I’m fucking writing this scene my readers are gonna hate me” (in a good way) kind of sense lmao sometimes I write certain lines or scene with the full intention of wanting my readers to /hate me/ cuz I wanna make them feel something, so I’ll literally just scream as I reread the scene. Also, if I ever step away from a fic and return to it, I’ll take the time to reread it first to relearn the tone and whatnot and a lot of the time I’ll forget what has happened so I’ll hit a certain point and be like “oh my fuck I can’t believe I made that happen I’m the absolute fucking worst” ugh it’s a trip lmao

An idea for a longfic I want to write in the future ~ I have an idea for an AU Kingdom Hearts fic where the Sea Salt Fam (plus some others) all grow up in an orphanage together. It’s another songfic idea (like my current AkuSai/LeaIsa WIP) that stemmed from a series of songs from EPs titled after months. So every two of three chapters would follow a month, but every new month would be a new year, so it would a time lapse of sorts where they just grow up and deal with all this different bullshit, haha it’s probably gonna be pretty angst-ridden and, as it stands, it would end up at about 31 chapters long. As for words or pages, I have no idea, haha I really want to write it someday, but I’m not sure I’ll ever get to that point 

[toherrys]

I was going through your axel tag and saw that you said you shipped axel and demyx in a “very kinky way”. if that’s still true lemme just yell at the top of my lungs GOD FUCKING BLESSSSSSS!!!! i haven’t found many people in the fandom who like that ship and it just makes my heart so happy :’) honestly I’m biased towards this ship bc August 9th is my birthday and I mean, come on, 08/09? it’s like it was destiny for me to find this ship LOL

Hah destined to ship :D

I should draw a little dirt of them, even tho LeaIsa owns my soul I still love the idea of Axel topping Demyx mehehe

[succubused]

37. LeaIsa fuck me up claire fuck. me up

this is long and it has big old kh3 spoiler warning on it. also i did not read it over or proofread it at all. get wrecked

//

You must be exhausted.

I am.

If he had been asked a week ago, or even a day ago, Lea would have said that he would rather have died than return to this place, and it would have been the truth. Too many bitter memories, too many ghosts, both his own and those of others who had been twisted beyond recognition alongside him. Despite all outward appearances, he wanted nothing more than to leave Axel, and everything he had done, behind him. He wanted to be worthy of doing so.

And yet it always did surprise him, the lengths to which he was willing to go for Isa.

Wouldn’t you like to stay here? To sleep?

Yes…but there is someone coming for me. I can’t stay.

He had expected the worst of it to be over, and in many ways it was. He had hoped to find Isa back in Radiant Garden, to discover him lying in the same room in which he himself had awoken once recompleted, maybe a little bit dazed, but theoretically safe with the others. But when he had arrived at the lab, Isa was once again nowhere to be found, and Lea realized too late how unlikely it was that his heart would have been taken there and then, with the risk of any of them waking up and interrupting. Of course they had moved him first.

How can you know that?

I don’t.

Of course they would take him back here.

He had searched the badlands and the graveyard, trying not to think about what it meant that he was looking for Isa in a graveyard in the first place, trying to focus on what he knew rather than how it had felt to have him fade away in his arms. At least he hadn’t been alone. At least his heart had been his own in his final moments as Saïx.

Regardless of all symbolism, it quickly became apparent that Isa wasn’t there either, and the old frantic feeling that he recognized from the first time he had gone missing returned with equal speed. Even though it was foolish.

It had been Even who suggested it. Said that was where his own heart had been corrupted. Offered to go with him, but Lea refused, naturally.

And yet I can see that you believe it’s true.

I trust him.

A world that never was. A world that was, but never should have been. Either way, it was no longer a place for him, and it was no longer a place for Isa.

He had, of course, considered the possibility that Isa was simply gone.

The others had as well. They hadn’t said anything out loud, but he knew pity when he saw it, and the way they looked at him out of the corners of their eyes was heavy with it.

Everyone but Xion, who had caught him by the arm as he left and looked him in the eyes with that sorrow and hope that had always struck him as far too deep for a girl whose time in the world had been as short as hers. But he knew her loneliness came from the knowledge she carried, that she had known and felt things that no other soul would ever be able to understand, self-formed heart as she was. She could have been so angry. Instead she was just kind.

“You’ll find him,” she had said. “No one is ever really gone.”

“You don’t have to—” Lea shook his head. “You don’t have to. I—I appreciate it, but he, with you he…it was—”

“I know what it was.” She looked up at him seriously. “And I would really like to understand why, so get him back here so I can ask him about it, okay?”

Lea could barely conceive of the depth of Xion’s compassion, the forgiveness she appeared to be capable of. Forgiveness she extended even towards those who likely didn’t deserve it yet, but was willing to believe in until they showed her that they did. People who had treated her as an object, sometimes because they didn’t know any better, sometimes because they didn’t care.

As he made his way through the halls, still so blinding in their unforgiving brightness, he wondered if he had tried hard enough to make Saïx see the truth about her. If things might have been different had he succeeded. Lea had finally seen an empty replica recently, the one that Even was working on repairing for Namine, and the blank, dead face had made him nauseous, knowing that was what Saïx had been seeing where Xion should have been.

Saïx had been too jealous to ask or to listen. And Axel had been too lonely in the wake of their crumbling relationship, too willing to throw himself entirely into anything at all that could make him smile again, and once he had been reminded what that could feel like, it had been hard to even look Saïx in the eyes, feeling the loss of that love all too acutely. It was still there; he could see that now, from the other side. It would have been impossible for them to hurt each other so deeply if it were not. But it was a wounded thing, poisoned by envy and hopelessness and anger.

They had given up so much for one another, and in the end, it hadn’t been enough.

Are you afraid?

Of?

Going back.

Of course I am.

Lea stared up at the towering thrones, white pillars where they had once sat and waited, never quite knowing for what. He had half expected to find Isa in his old seat, legs crossed and hands locked together to keep them from shaking. None of the others had ever known that was his reason for being so tightly held together, and Axel had never told a soul. Saïx, like Isa, relied on appearing as though he had no doubts. About himself, about his plans, about any of it.

And yet he had been so afraid. And fear made him angry. And anger made it easier for Xemnas to sink his poison deeper and deeper into the heart he refused to acknowledge he had.

He shuddered, remembering the telltale glow of his silhouette, the emptiness behind those shining yellow eyes. The flat fury on his face that held nothing to suggest that the man he remembered was anywhere inside, the heavy blade held above him, ready to fall and end the life that had once been lived for he who wielded it.

But it never did.

No matter how many times he had come close, he was never able to finish it.

He leaned his forehead against the doorframe when he reached his old room, closing his eyes at the familiar touch of cold metal. Remembering the number of times Saïx had found him here, in the beginning, curled into a ball on the floor, trying to make himself as small as possible so that his tears wouldn’t feel like a weakness.

You’re just remembering, Saïx had said, pulling Axel to his feet. I asked Vexen. He said this could happen. It’s still possible to cry. The memories of your emotions are evoking a physical response.

You told— Axel wrenched his arm away. You told him I was crying?

Saïx looked at him. No, he said evenly. I said that I was.

…Oh. Really?

Yes.

For a moment, they were silent.

Axel laughed shakily. Can’t I just…hit the kill switch or something? Wasn’t emptying out supposed to get rid of all this crap?

You need to be strong. It’s the only way.

Specific. Any ideas on how?

Saïx smiled at him, small and sad but real, even in those days already an expression all too rare. He placed his hands on the sides of Axel’s face, resting his thumbs underneath his eyes.

Get some upside down tears. Marks right here. Keep you from crying.

Axel chuckled despite himself. You think?

Oh, of course.

When he opened his eyes and saw the figure slumped against the wall, the flash of blue hair that told him everything he needed to know, he felt for a moment as though he should have anticipated that this was the only place he could possibly be.

“Isa!”

Lea fell to his knees at Isa’s side once more, his heart pounding when he saw the unconscious face. He was breathing, but his eyes were only half open, staring at the ground with a blank look that scared him more than any rage ever could. It was impossible to tell what color his irises were.

“Isa. It’s over. It’s safe.”

When he brushed Isa’s cheek with the back of his hand, his skin was cold. He had always ran much colder than Lea, of course. But he didn’t want to think about how long Isa had been lying here. How long he had been waiting.

“Wake up. Come back.”

He pulled Isa back into his lap and held him as he had the dying Saïx, trying to bring him back down the same way he had set him free.

“Please,” Lea whispered.

Time to go?

Time to go.

Good luck.

And Isa returned to life in the same way that Saïx had left it; in Lea’s arms.

For a moment they stared at each other, Lea trying to process the enormous kick of relief that had swept through his body, Isa more disoriented than anything else, unable to recognize the warmth in his chest for what it was. He blinked up at Lea, realizing for the first time what it meant that he was there, with a body and a beating heart and an intact soul.

“You’re alive,” Isa breathed. “You’re all right.”

“I—me?” He laughed in disbelief. “You—you’re talking about—when you just—”

“You are alive? This isn’t some sort of…”

“Isa…” Lea pulled him up to a sitting position, still gripping him tightly by the shoulders, correctly assuming that if he let go Isa was at risk of collapsing again. “If you think this is heaven, you either have shit standards or those three hit you harder than I thought they did.”

“Both are likely true, but fortunately injuries don’t appear to carry over.” He winced at the memory. “Xion may have cracked a rib. Can’t quite find it in my h—”

Lea watched his frozen face curiously as he stared down at his hands with an incomprehensible expression.

“In my heart,” Isa murmured after a prolonged pause. “Can’t quite find it in my heart to blame her.”

“In your heart,” Lea repeated slowly. He pressed his hand against Isa’s chest, feeling for the heartbeat he knew so well, even after ten years. The rapid thump greeted him like the old friend it was. Always so much quicker than you would expect from an exterior that lacked any sort of ripples, as Isa’s seemed to, if you didn’t know where to look. “Isa, what happened? Are you hurt?”

“What do you mean?”

“You should have been able to wake up straight off. We all did.”

“Even didn’t.”

“He—oh.” He thought about it for a moment. “I guess he didn’t.”

“The damage,” Isa said delicately, “was particularly severe, in both his case and my own. Not physically,” he added upon seeing the stricken look on Lea’s face. “Just needed to be called home.”

“Well…” Lea slid down the wall beside him with a soft thump. “Did say I’d drag you home too.”

“I’ll be all right in a moment.”

“Take your time.”

He snorted, looking at the ceiling. “While we’re here? I would rather not.” When he lowered his eyes, Lea was staring at him intently. “What?”

Lea blinked. “Your eyes.”

His heart sank. Impossible. “You don’t mean—”

“No, I mean your eyes. They’re yours.”

Isa leaned forward carefully to get a good look at the window, watching for his own face in the dark glass. He had seen his yellow eyes for the first time in this room, had stared in mute horror as Axel tried to get an answer out of him as to what had happened, where did you go, what happened to your eyes, what happened to your face.

The cyclical shape of it all struck him when he caught his own eye and found green there instead.

“I certainly hope they’re—why are you looking at me like that?”

“I’m—I hated seeing you—I never want to see you like that again,” Lea said.

Isa chuckled under his breath. “It wasn’t so bad, that time, actually.”

“You were—I haven’t seen you in that much pain since—”

“Maybe so,” he said quietly, “but at least, this time, I wasn’t alone.”

Lea watched him as he looked around at the colorless room, expression impassive, eyes haunted.

“This time’?” he said at last, when it became apparent Isa would not break the silence on his own.

“The last time I had to fade in such a way,” Isa said, knuckles white where his hands had knotted reflexively into fists, “I was…very much alone. I can’t remember a time when I felt more alone.”

You died alone. You died afraid.

“You remember what it feels like when your body goes, I’m sure.”

“Yeah.” Lea shuddered. “Wish I didn’t.”

A lead weight at the bottom of his stomach. What felt like a thousand hands pulling at him from all directions while feathers tried to lift his skin from the inside.

“I was ready to die on my feet again,” Isa muttered. “I didn’t expect you to be there. I didn’t expect you to catch me.”

“What, you—you thought I’d just sit there and watch you—”

“I thought you were already lost to me.”

“I wasn’t.”

“I know. I know.”

“I’m so sorry, Isa.”

“For what?”

“I wasn’t there for you. It kills me that you had to go through all of that alone.”

Isa looked down at his hands. “I didn’t want to be,” he said after a moment.

He continued to watch as Lea reached for them, allowing him to pull one of his hands into his lap and hold it in both of his own. He held it much too tightly, but that was just Lea. Always afraid that if he didn’t sink his teeth in far enough Isa might slip away again. It was difficult to blame him, considering that at least once his fears had been proven to be grounded.

“It felt—” His grip tightened further. “Felt like you didn’t want me back at all.”

“Oh.” Isa laughed weakly. “Oh, I did. More than anything. It was eating me alive.”

“Then why—”

“I knew it was only going to get worse,” he said. “And as hard as it was living without you, losing you a second time would have been more than I could take. I figured if I never had you back, at least…you couldn’t take yourself away again.”

“Isa, that’s horrible.”

“It’s the truth.”

They looked at their fingers, laced so tightly through one another’s that they were both beginning to go numb, but neither had even the slightest inclination to let go.

“I don’t want to be in this place anymore,” Isa said. “I would like to leave.”

Lea nodded. “Get up together, okay?”

“Yeah.”

He pulled Isa to his feet, where he swayed a little but steadied after realizing there was someone beside him waiting to support the weight he couldn’t take.

“Hey, one second.”

Isa turned. “What—”

It had been years since he had been kissed. It was so easy to forget how soft of a feeling it was when his memories of love had become so harsh, when towards the end Saïx and Axel had been more given to drawing blood than sharing what little warmth they did have. And Lea was, of course, more than warm, more like a compact wildfire with the heat he gave off. He had been so cold, for so long.

But Lea was there, and he burned like the sun, and he kissed Isa like it was the first and last thing he would ever do, and the pressure of it made both of them feel more real than they had in a decade.

“What was that for?” Isa said breathlessly when they finally came up for air.

Lea grinned, arms still locked around his waist. “Axel and Saïx had their first kiss in here, remember?”

Isa blinked. He had forgotten entirely, but it occurred to him that Lea was right.

“So Lea and Isa…”

Isa laughed out loud. “You’re ridiculous,” he told Lea, and pulled his face down to kiss him again.

[sollea]

Dolorem et Consolationem

Post-KH3 LeaIsa 1664 Words Suicidal Thoughts TW

Snapping your fingers was a simple action and doing that action shouldn’t send anyone into emotional shutdown. It shouldn’t make someone stand in the middle of their kitchen, having just remembered what they were looking for at three in the morning, and suddenly be staring at their hands in horror.

The sound of snapping wasn’t normally an issue, despite the terrible things that occurred with the snap of someone else’s fingers over the course of twelve years. Lea felt his heart beating quickly, as if it were trying once more to break free of his chest. A shaking hand clutched at it, hoping to keep himself whole even while his throat felt tight and his breathing got sharp. He was okay. He was fine. Nobody was getting hurt. He wasn’t hurting people.

Free hand went to the counter, leaning on it to keep himself steady, Lea felt tears welling up in his eyes. Lea felt too much, momentary wish to have his feelings taken away left him feeling more hollow and gutted than he had without a heart. What kind of person was he, wanting that back? Everything that other people had sacrificed for him to be back again. He killed people, he… killed people, he didn’t deserve his heart back anyways.

He sank to the ground and continued to clutch his chest. Too many thoughts were flying through his mind. Guilt, regret, pain, hatred. He wanted to dig his heart out of his chest again. The thought he’d yelled at himself for having returned with even greater force.

He could do it, he could just… A flick of the wrist and his fingers closed around the handle he rarely actually used. He stared at the blade, heart still beating out of his chest and breathing still not steady. The thing that was a total joke, the thing that got shattered into a million pieces in front of him. The thing that would help him feel better, even if it was only temporary. His own death meant very little to him when he’d died three times already.

He could come back again. He’d be enough of himself to get himself back if necessary.

He wondered briefly if he’d be able to use his keyblade as a nobody. Then he wondered if he was strong enough to even be a nobody again. Lea’s hand shook as he held his keyblade out, away from his body. He’d killed or caused the deaths of multiple people who he blamed for the first blade that pierced his chest.

His other hand began to reach for the handle. He wasn’t thinking clearly enough, but he didn’t want to die. He just wanted to stop… feeling. Maybe part of why he’d instructed Kairi to call him Axel was because he wanted to be again. Yeah, that sounded right. Why would he think that if it wasn’t true?

Both hands gripped the keyblade’s handle.

Then his hands were pushed down, blade being carefully held by the hands pushing his down.

“Lea? Lea, look at me. Let go.” The familiar voice only made Lea’s vision swim as the tears that filled his eyes finally had the pressure keeping them back released. So, again, the voice spoke. “Whatever you were thinking of doing with that’s not any kind of answer.”

The blade vanished and Lea’s hands fell to his lap. Breathing had gotten steadier as he’d held his blade, but with the tears running down his face, it was ragged. He was pulled into an embrace.

“I know, Lea. I know,” Isa’s voice was gentle, like it had been when they were children. “I brought your eyeliner in case this was what was happening. Let me know when you can breathe enough to lay down.”

Lea managed to process the words after a few tries and nodded.

The next few minutes felt choked. Sobs came from Lea as Isa sat, stone-faced and holding his best friend. As Lea’s crying began to lessen, Isa gently began to run his fingers through his hair.

After a few gentle moments with Isa stroking his hair, Lea brought his arms up to hold Isa back. He felt awful, worrying Isa like that, but he knew he should be grateful. He might not have done it, but being alone after almost doing it would’ve been worse than escaping his problems and dying.

“Why are you up, Isa?” Lea’s voice was rough, crying ruined the usual upbeat and sarcastic tone of his.

“I woke up, probably from you moving the bed to get up, and you weren’t there. It felt like something was wrong. I was right, as I usually am,” Isa said calmly while still brushing his fingers through Lea’s hair. His hand gave away more than his words or voice ever would. Despite the motions being a clean cycle, they weren’t incredibly fluid. Lea could feel his hair being pulled on because Isa’s hand had taken his shake.

“... Sorry you found me like that, Isa.”

“Just don’t do it again. Come get me instead.” Lea was wrong, Isa’s voice broke slightly as he spoke. “Want to talk about what got you tonight?”

“Not really.” Lea moved back to look at Isa and swallowed, testing his throat before he spoke again, “Are you okay?”

“I brought the eyeliner.”

“That’s not an answer, Isa.”

“I brought what you need. Come lay on my lap so I can draw them on.”

“You don’t need to.”

“You were going to kill yourself, Lea.” Isa’s voice was fully saturated with emotion. Tears were in both of their eyes as they sat on the kitchen floor in the dead of night. “You looked like you were ready to kill yourself. Leave me with your fading body. Have to see my best friend… dead. Lay on my lap and stop talking.”

Lea wiped at his face, drying what he thought was  left of the tears and leading away a few new ones. He turned himself around and laid backwards, resting his head on Isa’s lap like he had done so many years ago.

“I wasn’t thinking,” Lea said softly as Isa uncapped the eyeliner, checking how blunt the pencil was before bringing his hand down to begin drawing the tears.

“I doubt that’s true, but I understand.”

Silence fell over the kitchen as Isa filled in the outline of the teardrops. Even the gentle touch of the side of Isa’s hands on his cheek felt heavy, despite the deeply comforting position they were in.

“I’m sorry.”

“I already told you, I get it. Don’t talk about it.”

It wasn’t a request anymore, it was closer to a command. Or was it just a plead? Either way, Lea nodded.

And got a gentle tap on his head as Isa moved the pencil away. “Way to mess the tears up, Lea.”

“Huh? Oh, sorry. Did that really fuck them up?”

“Nah, but if you keep moving, you’ll waste your stupidly expensive eyeliner.”

Lea sighed and looked up, locking eyes with Isa for a moment. “I’m done moving now, you can keep drawing on me.”

“Okay. Thank you.” Isa gently hit Lea’s nose with the pencil and moved to the other cheek to carefully draw the outline.

“I’m sorry for making you see me like that. I’d understand if you’re mad at me.”

“What?” Isa froze, hit by Lea’s sudden words. Resuming the topic hadn’t been expected. “Mad?”

“Yeah. I’d be mad.”

“You’d be mad if you walked in on me… contemplating…” Isa took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Would you really be mad if it were me?”

“... No, I guess not.”

“Then why would I be mad at you?”

“I…”

“You don’t know because that’s stupid. I knew you were an idiot, but I didn’t know it was that bad.” Somehow, even through calling Lea an idiot, Isa’s voice was soft and comforting. Scared too. “Just don’t leave me like that and I won’t be mad, alright?”

“I’ll try my best.”

“Want to tell me what made you do that?” Isa resumed drawing the second tear onto Lea’s face.

“I killed people. I snapped and suddenly people who I’d known for years were dead. I know why I did that… I know it worked out… I know he wasn’t exactly the most morally upstanding person before Xehanort… but I killed him. And Zexion. Ienzo was a kid, Isa.”

“I know. I’m sorry I made you do that.”

“It’s worse that they’re not mad at me now.”

“They both wish nothing more than to atone for their actions. They know. Even without knowing our plan to find her and… everyone else they hurt… they know we had our reasons.”

“But-...”

“I know, Lea. You’re too good for what Axel was.” Isa moved the pencil away and leaned down to kiss Lea’s forehead. “I’m sorry for pushing you to be worse than just empty. It all feels like it was almost for nothing and I know that. Everyone knows you apologize every other sentence to anyone you might have hurt as Axel. You’re better than anyone deserves.”

Lea sighed and reached to hold Isa’s free hand, twisting his arm a bit to do so. “Can we be done?”

“Of course.”

“Okay… You know you deserve good, right?”

“Yes, I know.”

“I don’t believe you, but alright.”

Isa leaned back and looked at Lea’s face, sighing and placing the eyeliner pencil on the bridge of Lea’s nose. “I’m done. You’ve got your lucky charms and nothing’s gonna hurt you, not even yourself.”

Lea took a moment to focus on keeping still so the pencil would stay balanced on his nose before responding to Isa, “I love you.”

Isa modded and leaned down to kiss Lea’s forehead again, accidentally knocking the pencil from Lea’s nose. “I know. I love you too…” Isa paused and leaned back again before tapping the side of Lea’s head, smiling with what looked like tears in his eyes. “Got it memorized?”

[beanmaster-pika]

@xan-xus Lae I owe you my life ty for enabling me

OKAY SO Subject X doesn’t disappear, but Lea and Isa still go with the ‘become Apprentices’ plan bc they’re Dumb Teens. Fast forward and Xehanort has everyone in the lab (including the LITERAL BABY I’m so sorry they did that to you Ienzo) all “hm yeah we should totally experiment on our own hearts nothing could possibly go wrong!” and Lea and Isa are like “wh. what the fuck. are we in a cult is this what a cult looks like”

Spoiler: it is

Now, one scene I have envisioned very vividly is a change in Saix getting his scar. I’ve read posts that suggest he got it before he became a Nobody and that’s why it didn’t disappear like Axel’s tattoos did (OR MAYBE THOSE WERENT TATTOOS. MAYBE THEY WERE CLOWN MAKEUP), so I figure it happened right before he lost heart. Why? I dunno! Maybe Xehanort realized that he had a lot of darkness in his potential to get unhealthily jealous and went “hoo hee that’s prime real estate!” and decided to set the groundwork in advance! But because I am a sucker for characters bodily shielding their loved ones, X fuckin jumps in the way of the second slash so she and Saix end up having Inverted Matching Scars. I’m contemplating having it being over her eye and giving her an eyepatch and her being really salty about matching with Xigbar bc who’d want to.

Xehanort just rolls with it because if those three hold each other dear then that’s just more material to work with in the future, kinda like when one gathers a bunch of art supplies one has vague ideas for but never ends up using, so Nort Prep™️ doesn’t happen and he turns them all into Nobodies.

Also Lea’s unconscious for all of this because of my hc that the Radiant Garden squad’s numbers go in ascending order based on who got killed first. Ya boi’s just chillin in the back, his heart floating over his body.

Anyway they’re all Nobodies now, right? No feelings, nothing. They just want their hearts back so they can become Somebodies again. Since X is right there with them, they don’t need to worry about getting Saix up the ranks to find her. They just need to carry out their missions competently enough that they don’t get turned into Dusks. A lot changes when you take the search for X out of the equation—Saix loses his hungry ambition, Axel slows down. They don’t have to fight to get ahead; they just need to stay afloat. They lose that desperate edge that ultimately knifed them apart, and it’s only the scramble for kingdom hearts that drives them now. Much of the stress and pressure they dealt with in canon is gone. So what now?

It’s these two plus X. They don’t have emotions, but they do have their memories. X’s freedom was all they had hoped for, and ironically now that she’s got it none of them have the literal heart to be happy about it, and you can bet I’m lifting that line straight into my fic probably. They know that they were friends, though they can’t feel it now, and they know that they cared deeply for each other, so logically they stick together. They even have ice cream time on the clock tower.

Here’s the fun part: regrowing their hearts. With an actual circle of friends—though it’s small—their hearts actually start to regrow healthier, like how Axel’s did once he started hanging out with Roxas and Xion. Sure, Xemnas tries to interfere because “excuse me what are you nincompoops doing that’s my future vessel” but do you think they give a fuck?? No way!! I also buy into the “X=Skuld” theory, and one of her biggest personality traits is wanting to keep her friends together, and I don’t think amnesia’s gonna change that (at least I’m pretty sure she has amnesia. Ven, Marluxia, and Larxene sure do >:0). Xemnas wants to snatch away one of her friends for Evil Business?? Try it, bitch, she’ll cUT YOU. Xemnas has appearances to keep up so he doesn’t out and out start a fight with the Teenage Girl™️ but he’s lowkey pissed but whatever.

So with that fucked up end to their teenage years they grow into adulthood, not normal but far less shitty than what could have been. Saix still becomes Mission Man because he’s got to have some administrative skill if he got the job in canon, but despite how closely he has to work with Xemnas the Norting is unsuccessful—he’s got Axel and X stabilizing him. It’s a three-way positive feedback loop with people who don’t have anything else to do or worry about, and it keeps him safe and their new hearts keep slogging on with that regrowth, unacknowledged but doing their damn best.

Now let’s talk about Days. Saix still assigns Axel to train Roxas during his first week, and Roxas still has to train Xion for memory or Keyblade reasons I think?? But things go a little differently for them this time.

Axel doesn’t do assassination in this AU—no need for it—so it’s Xigbar sent off to Castle Oblivion instead to deal with the traitors. Saix doesn’t really care since he doesn’t have a personal stake in the situation. Axel never meets Sora, but he does hang out with Roxas more, so Roxas ends up growing to be a bit more of a little shit than he is in canon. The formative weeks are very important for a new Nobody with no memories, after all. Axel doesn’t have that desperation for a real friend that pushed him to befriend Roxas in canon, but he does have a more developed partial heart and it won’t allow him to just toss this poor kid to the wolves. He brings him up to the clock tower for ice cream time and Saix is like “why is he here this is our thing” and Axel has to go “be nice he was born yesterday” Roxas is just spacing out and figuring out how eating works. Axel adopts Roxas almost immediately, X does so in good faith, and Saix eventually comes around because the other two already did it. Then there’s the whole Xion situation, and all three of them are like Axel was in canon—a bit confused, but they got the spirit. Roxas likes her, so they do too.

OH YEAH ANOTHER IMPORTANT PLOT POINT IS THAT SAIX DOESNT REFER TO A CHILD AS “IT” :)

They don’t have to sneak around as much when Xion has Keyblade problems—the perks of having an actual friend in power—and from here all I really have planned is a whole lot of the radiant trio doing their best to look after these disaster children while stubbornly denying that they themselves have hearts and emotions pushing them to do so in the first place and it’s really wholesome and also maybe theres a pinch of Axel and Saix’s redeveloping hearts leading to redeveloping but unacknowledged feelings for each other and X and the kids try to wingman them (with a side of X being a little salty because the only woman her age in the organization is dead now and also was too mean to date in the first place) because I’m biased and still high on kh3 leaisa rights.

Eventually they decide “fuck it we may not have hearts but we’re doing fine, why don’t we just uhhhhhh fuck off to some far away world with the kids so they can have an actual childhood” but before they can everything goes to shit with the whole Sora situation and now he has THREE desperate Nobodies after him trying to get their son back, and they all disagree on which method will bring results and have a huge falling out and X has to watch helplessly as one of her best friends goes rogue and the other ends up being Norted and it’s painful. 🙃 But everything gets resolved a la KH3 and that’s the AU.

[liberatingflame]

LeaIsa Post KH3 Speculation. I have not played KH3 yet. If you spoil me I will have your soul. Working out emotions together after processing nothing for at least ten years. Word Count: 1678 Read it here or on AO3

“I talk too much.”

“Yes, I know that.”

“You used to be really good at shutting me up.”

“I don’t recall ever trying to in good situations.”

“Maybe what I’m remembering was just daydream mixed into real life, then.”

“I have no idea what you’re going on about, Lea.”

“Whatever, it’s nothing. You see any of the kids today? They’ve been asking about you.”

“Have they really?”

“Well, no, but I really think you’d like them if you let them give you a chance.”

“I don’t feel like talking about how I apparently need to prove to people that I’m not who I was under Xehanort’s control. I want to know why you said you talk too much.”

“Well, hah.” Lea’s hand went instinctively to the back of his head, running his fingers through his mess of hair and scratching at his head with an awkward laugh. “It was really just me thinking aloud?”

“About you talking too much?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re not doing much of it now.”

“It’s always because I’m dancing around stuff, isn’t it? I’m better at getting to the point when I have one I want to talk about.”

“Lea.”

“Yeah, yeah. I must want to talk about this, I brought it up.”

“Lea…”

“I’m just being like I was as a kid, it’s gotta be a little pathetic. I get the time to talk to you after you went and nearly died on me.”

“I nearly caused you to die.”

“That’s not true and even if it is, I’m repressing it.”

“That’s not healthy.”

“Yeah, well, I’m joking. I know everything that went down, you don’t have to remind me. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, but you have to feel guilty about hurting me? Even the parts that weren’t even physically you?”

“It’s different. And stop changing the subject, Lea. If you don’t get to the point…”

“What are you gonna do, kiss me?”

“No.”

“No?”

“Get to your point.”

“What?”

“I’m waiting for you to make your point.”

“You’re stupid.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re stupid.”

“Lea, get to your point already.”

“How are you going to stop me from getting off topic?”

“You’re calling me an idiot while you spout out nonsense?”

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

“That’s my point. My point is kiss me.”

“That’s not a point, Lea.”

“I was thinking about when we were kids, we almost got there a few times, but neither of us really could comprehend that the other had a big, stupid crush.”

“I never had a crush on you, don’t be ridiculous.”

“Isa, I’m telling you I had one, so you can take your chance to admit to having one too. I figured it out.”

“It wasn’t like it was a puzzle. I thought I was being obvious.”

“You really weren’t!”

“You weren’t either.”

“I’ve kissed you before.”

“No you haven’t?”

“Your cheek?”

“That happens sometimes.”

“Does it?”

“Alright, not in Radiant Garden, but some places.”

“I’m probably stupid and missed things too, like whenever we went out to the edge of town to sit together. You probably did plenty of stuff to try to clue me in, but I didn’t catch anything either.”

“I just said I thought I was pretty obvious about it.”

“So, now that we’re done being stupid, kiss me.”

“I’m not going to just kiss you now because you told me to. We were children.”

“I still love you.”

“You…”

“I still love you. Never have I had a moment of being Lea where I didn’t love you with my whole heart.”

“What has you being so sappy right now?”

“I want you to kiss me, I already told you.”

“After everything I did?”

“What did you do?”

“I hurt you.”

“What did you do?”

“I hurt you.”

“Do I need to go through a list? Tell you every single thing you did that was too obviously not you? Remind you that neither of us had emotions that were ready to be accessed and understood for years? Remind you that I would’ve died for you? Axel would’ve died for you to get your heart back.”

“Saïx would’ve let him. And stop talking about it as if Saïx wasn’t me. Axel was you, Saïx was me.”

“Saïx was possessed.”

“You seem to think I didn’t have any control over my own body.”

“Isa, I just want you to kiss me.”

“And I want to kiss you.”

“Nothing’s stopping you.”

“We’re finally communicating. I think we need this.”

“Yeah.”

“So. Respond to me.”

“I wasn’t listening.”

“Lea, you are going to drive me crazy one day.”

“Isa, I don’t want to talk, I want to kiss you. That’s the whole point. That’s why I brought you out here like when we were kids. Have a few minutes of talking about things or a few minutes of silence and hope that all leads to you kissing me.”

“You started talking about important things and we haven’t talked about them yet, we need to.”

“You don’t want to talk about it either.”

“We need to.”

“You don’t want to.”

“You’re right, but we should.”

“Kiss me.”

“No.”

“We can always talk later.”

“I never said I still like you like that.”

“We both know you do.”

“... Yes, well, we should still do the healthy thing for once.”

“I don’t have it in me right now, Isa. You don’t have to kiss me, I just don’t have it in me to talk after everything that happened. Maybe in a few days, maybe if it was just one trauma ago, but I just can’t do it right now.”

Lea could see guilt washing over Isa’s face as if it was entirely his fault Lea couldn’t find the words to talk about what they’d both done. He’d just wanted to come out here and talk about their feelings for each other, not about all the situations they’d found themselves in since they died the first time. Logically, he knew they were all intertwined in a way that neither of them could really avoid, but he’d hoped they could just skip a few steps and just exist around each other.

He could feel the discomfort in the silence he’d caused, he could feel everything and that was the problem. Why was it that he always longed for the return of something that he knew hurt him? It was part of recovery, getting past that, but that was a long ways away, he knew it was. He wasn’t going to get better overnight, not even when he could see Isa whenever he wanted.

“You know I don’t blame you for any of what happened, right?”

“I realize that, but you should,” Isa said in a cool, even tone. Repressing emotions seemed to have become his natural state upon his return to himself. Lea knew it was from Isa having a difficult time coming back to himself as only himself, especially after years of being lied to. The final year was probably the most rough on Isa’s ability to emote, but that was just Lea’s guess. Being denied the chance to return to yourself when other people were able to sounded horrible. “I should be hated by all of you. I ordered deaths that-”

“C’mon, Isa, neither of us are really all that sorry.”

“I am. About Ienzo.”

“Oh. Well, I can’t say that I am. Not really. Call me bitter, but killing Vexen was cathartic. Killing Zexion wasn’t the same, but it worked out in the end. I didn’t exactly feel bad for helping them come back. You shouldn’t either, we both did shit when we were nobodies, it was us, but we were empty and felt that emptiness. Not to mention that we were lied to and murdered.”

“I finally saw the puppet’s… the girl’s face. Xion’s. It makes sense that you were protective of her now. I was unaware that replicas could develop their own personalities.”

“That’s on me.” Lea took in a breath and let it out slowly. “I didn’t report back about the replica Vexen made of Riku developing his own personality because I felt… bad. About the way we all treated him… and I didn’t have it in me to really know yet, I certainly wasn’t able to come to terms with it.”

“You say you felt bad treating the replica poorly, but not for killing someone you knew and worked with?”

“Isa, it’s… you know it’s complicated. If I admit I feel bad about one, but not the other, especially now that everyone’s on one side again and everything’s over… What kind of person does that make me?”

“One who’s been wronged.”

“You didn’t see Vexen.”

“You’re right, I didn’t. We were talking about how you felt bad for one and not the other? You feel bad about Vexen and not Zexion?”

“No. No, fuck. I feel bad about Ienzo.”

“And Vexen was nothing?”

“No, I’m not saying that.”

“You seem to be.”

“Fuck, Isa, I don’t want to talk about this. I really don’t. Can we please, please just talk about us if we’re going to talk.”

“I haven’t been directing this conversation enough for you to not be able to bring us up again. Though, I don’t want to talk about us as much as you don’t want to talk about this.”

“I just wanted to be with you. Feel things that should be familiar and better again now that I can look at you and see you.” Lea spoke uncharacteristically quietly. “I don’t want to think about every piece of guilt eating me up from inside, I just want to look at you. Feel your heart beating next to mine. Stop thinking entirely and just feel how close we are to being back.”

“... I still don’t think that’s entirely healthy.”

“I don’t care what’s-”

“But I understand.”

“Can you please just…”

“Kiss you?”

Lea nodded and finally, after letting more pain out than Lea had wanted to, Isa leaned over and cupped his jaw. Their lips finally touched and Lea could swear he could hear nothing but their hearts beating.

[keyblade-nocturne]

Answer the following for your muse so people know how shipping works on your blog.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER?:

Demyx/a hug or Demyx/Vacation Days

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO WRITE WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?

. . . kinky shit. In all seriousness I love fluff and romantic threads. But I’m also game for a shit ton of nsfw threads and am okay with them going places. Just gotta talk it out in IMs. 

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

I don’t even know Demyx’s fucking age anymore. I don’t count the time between the first keyblade war and now into their ages obviously. Only with Luxu and even then he gets immortal status with an age of his current vessel. So as long as Demyx is an adult which he always is from days onward. I don’t care to do the math on age gaps. But if the other muse defaults to calling Demyx “kid” I’m going to be less likely to see shipping potential. 

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

Nope. Just gotta have an over 18 muse and the two characters have to have established pre-shipping threads. I’m not starting shipping threads with brand new mutuals sorry.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSF(W)?

I get skittish about what’s consider nsf you know what. If it's just making out it’s fine. But the second there’s hands on other private parts during the make out it’s going under a read more. 

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

Literally any org member that’s old enough and not Larxene. Look at the next question if you’re worried I’ll think the ship is too weird.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?:

Ask and I’ll say yes. The answer will always be yes. but I just need the all clear to run forward with shippy headcannons. It’s impossible to tell who’s open to some of my rarepairs. so please come tell me if you’re game.

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP?

ALL THE TIME. IF YOU THINK I HAVE TO MANY SHIP PAIRS ALREADY YOU ARE WRONG. I NEED MOOOOOOORE.

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?:

Looks at last question. uhhhh i think i’m obsessed.

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?

seeing as I ship Demyx with everyone? yes. I’ve never been in a fandom where I haven’t had multiple ships for at least one character.

WHAT IS/ARE YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP(S) IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?:

Sorikai, LeaIsa, Zemyx, these are all the obvious one’s aren’t they? hmmm Elrena/strelitzia and Lar/darkaqua are growing on me. Oh and Ephemer/Player Character for life man.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?:

Come into my inbox and scream about our muses being together and I will scream “hell yes!” right back at ya. that or when I do the what rarepairs do you see for my muse meme later just send the name of your character on anon and I’ll say publicly how I feel about it.

Tagged by: @synthiser-crypton

Tagging: anyone who hasn’t filled this out yet. I know a lot of you already have. Cause I’m slow at typing these things out.

[nadziejastar]

I just read your post on KH3's retconning of Lea and Isa's story. You put a lot of thoughts I'd been having into words and added some great symbolism analysis on top of it. I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Oh my gosh, thanks! I have SO many thoughts on KH′s story and characterization so I am planning to write a lot of stuff. I also am more than happy to answer Asks.

Yeah, I was SO mad at how KH3 handled Lea and Isa, I spent days thinking about their story and how it wasn’t done justice. Everyone I know in real life who likes KH is sick of hearing me rant about it. I just had to get it off my chest. I figured if even one person got something out of that post, it was worth it.

And I was thinking even MORE on it after I made that post. I have been meaning to write this. I just cannot get over how heart-breakingly beautiful the Lea/Isa relationship was portrayed (until KH3 IMHO):

Lea: “I want everybody I meet to remember me. Inside people’s memories, I can live forever.”

This one quote describes Lea in a nutshell. His whole character revolves around the theme “memories”. “Got it memorized?” He wants everyone to remember him, and live forever. In his view, memories grant one immortality.

Isa: “I know I won’t forget you. Believe me, I try all the time.”

And how does Isa respond? That he wouldn’t forget him. Playfully sarcastic, but he has a genuine smile afterwards. Isa strikes me as the type of person who has a hard time directly showing his feelings, but is a very caring person deep down. I could tell he was being sincere when he said he’d never forget Lea. Apparently he doesn’t smile too often, so that’s a good sign.

Lea: See? I’m immortal.

In the Japanese version, he actually says his other catchphrase “ureshii ne”, meaning “I’m so flattered”, in an exaggerated way. Both work well. Clearly Lea gets Isa’s sense of humor and can tell that is his way of showing affection. This was a great scene, and foreshadows how the theme “memory” was set up as the focal point for Lea and Isa right from the very beginning.

This is a scene from the BbS novel. It’s a narration of the epilogue from Lea’s point of view. It happens after Lea buys the two ice cream:

“It’s cold…..” Isa mumbled, nibbling at the ice cream.“Whaddya mean, it’s ice cream so of course it is, got it memorized?”“…..moreover, it’s salty.”“But sweet!”As Lea went on, Isa smiled just a bit. It’s rare to see Isa smile. But, well, friendship means eating ice cream together, talking about stupid things, and laughing like this.

Sound familiar? That’s exactly what he told Roxas. Friends are people who have ice cream together or who laugh at stupid stuff that doesn’t make any sense.

Day 72 ~Change~  

Saïx: Why didn’t you report in?

Axel: Oh, good to see you, too. You’re welcome, thanks for the kind words.

Saïx: All I did was find a place to send everyone who was getting in the way.

Axel: Well, it’s nice to know where I stand! Sheesh…

Saïx: Did you come back in one piece or didn’t you?

Axel really started to struggle with his emotions after Castle Oblivion. I think meeting Sora and hanging out with Roxas made him remember a time when his relationship with Isa was more innocent and genuine. And it really started to make it painful for him to realize how different things were between them. He didn’t even return to the castle right away because he wanted time to “sort out his feelings”. And when he does, he is clearly hurt at how little concern Saix had for him while he was away. Even though Axel had to eliminate other Organization members and nearly died, all Saix cares about is that Namine escaped and finding the Chamber of Waking.

Day 75 ~Inseparable~

Axel: Well, I think you can be inseparable even if you’re apart.

Roxas: Really?

Axel: Sure, if you feel really close to each other. If you’re best friends.

Roxas: What’s it like having a best friend, Axel?

Axel: Couldn’t tell ya. I don’t have one.

Roxas: Oh…

He doesn’t see Roxas and Xion as his best friends yet, so he’s obviously talking about Isa. The implication is that he once thought that way of Isa though. They used to be inseparable, even when they were apart. They seemed really really close, so it explains his sadness.

Day 95 ~Nobodies~

Roxas: What kind of person were you like before you were a Nobody?

Axel: Me? Oh, I dunno. Same guy, more or less.

Roxas: Lucky. I wish I could remember.

Axel: Trust me, you’re not missing much. Who needs baggage, right?

Axel says he really hasn’t changed since becoming a Nobody. Deep down he’s still the same person. This is in stark contrast to Saix whose personality is basically unrecognizable. The narrative makes it abundantly clear that Isa is nothing like the current Saix.

One thing about Axel that has changed is his perspective on memories. Axel seems to envy Roxas who doesn’t remember anything about his past. Lea was a person who respected memories more than anything; memories grant immortality in his view. Yet Axel says he’d rather not have them. They’re just baggage. He must have been hurt very deeply to say something like this. Roxas then wonders who he was before he became a Nobody. Axel actually remembers Ventus, so I can only imagine this made him remember how different his own outlook on life was back when they first met. This is when his perspective starts to shift a little.

Day 96 ~Xion’s Keyblade~

Roxas: I just…want these days to last forever. Hanging out, the ice cream, the sunsets…

Axel: Nothing lasts forever, man. Least of all for a bunch of Nobodies. But you know, we’ll still have each other…even if things change and we can’t do this anymore.

Roxas: Yeah?

Axel: As long as we remember each other, we’ll never be apart. Got it memorized?

Roxas: Ha ha, wow, Axel. That sounded ridiculous.

Axel: What? I thought it was pretty deep.

This scene is one of my absolute favorites from the whole series. Axel struggled throughout the whole game to reconcile his memories of the past with his current reality. But here he starts to sound more like he did as a human. He says that as long as they have the memories, they’ll never have to be apart, even if things change. Roxas and Xion laugh and tease him for saying this. To them it seemed out-of-character and more sentimental than the current conversation warranted. But this is the only time that Axel does not laugh along with them. He just sits in total silence. They might not have realized it but the subject was especially painful for Axel, since he was speaking from personal experience; about Isa.

He then writes in his report:

I feel like I’ve been spending more time talking to Roxas and Xion lately than my old friend, Saïx. This has to have been what it was like, friendship.

It’s thanks to his relationship with Roxas and Xion that Axel can appreciate friendship again. He also begins taking a different perspective on his relationship with Isa. Even though he’s changed for the worse, Axel feels like as long as he has the memories of when they were inseparable, they’ll never truly be apart.

Day 118 ~Lazy Day~

Roxas: Summer vacation? What’s that?

Axel: A dream come true, that’s what–a whole month off.

Roxas: A month!? How do they hang on to their sanity? I can’t even figure out how to fill a day.

Axel: Well, they do get a little help. Their teachers dish out plenty of homework. Trust me, it’s over before you can blink.

Roxas: Hmm… I could deal with a week, maybe.

Axel: Most kids spend summer vacation just goofing off with their friends. They save the homework till the end and then help each other finish it.

Roxas: That sounds fun, I guess.

Axel: Yeah. I hadn’t really thought about it much since becoming a Nobody.

Axel was definitely speaking from experience. Interestingly, he chooses to spend the whole day sleeping. It gave me the impression that summer vacation depresses him and having too much free time to think about it is difficult. Axel then tells Roxas he has to go back to Castle Oblivion for a secret mission.

Roxas: What do you mean, “can’t tell”?

Axel: It’s classified.

Xion: But I thought we were friends.

Axel: Hey, I’m not about to tell you ALL my dark secrets. Got it memorized? I bet you keep a thing or two from me.

Roxas: I don’t have any dark secrets.

He mentions dark secrets. He says he was just kidding, but I really don’t think he was. I do think there are many indications that Lea and Isa had a very dark past that was not adequately explained by KH3. Also I really like how Axel’s relationship with Roxas and Xion is portrayed. Its very realistic. He is close with them, but he is very careful about confiding too much or getting too personal. He wants to protect them from the harsher realities of life, but also protect himself from becoming too vulnerable. But it creates a bit of a chasm between them that never really gets bridged.

Axel: It’s my vacation. I can take all the time I want. Since when do I have to check in with you?

Saïx: You’re letting yourself get too attached to them.

Axel: Yes, sir, whatever you say.

Saïx: You’ve changed.

Later, Saix starts pestering Axel to tell him about Xion and it widens their chasm, too. Axel gets annoyed and tells him to get out of his room. Saix is annoyed at him and tells him he’s changed. He seems upset that Axel isn’t as focused on their goal anymore. Later, Axel writes in his report:

Talking to Roxas and Xion always brings back memories of my human life, back when I was a kid. It’s a weird sensation. I ought to be able to share all this with Saïx, but I just don’t feel like it anymore. It’s strange, but I’m content with just missing what’s gone. I’m not the one who changed. You did.

It was extremely difficult, but Axel is beginning the process of treasuring his memories of Isa again. Even though Axel is growing increasingly resentful of Saix, it brings him comfort to know he’ll always be able to keep Isa with him, if only in his memory. That’s how much he treasured those memories of Isa and how much of a distinction Axel makes between the past and the present. It truly demonstrates how special Isa was to Lea, in my opinion.

Day 150 ~Fear~

Roxas: Is there anything you couldn’t bear to lose?

Axel:  I guess the closest thing we Nobodies have got is our past. You know, memories of the stuff we couldn’t bear to lose, back when we couldn’t bear to lose it.

Roxas: Oh… Too bad I don’t remember MY past.

Axel: Well, what about your present?

Roxas: Huh?

Axel: You’ve got memories from here in the Organization, right?

Roxas: Yeah… I do, don’t I? I couldn’t bear to lose my memories of you or Xion.

Axel: Well, see? There ya go. Everybody’s got something they want to hang on to.

He is much more cheerful when he tells Roxas that the past is something he cannot bear to lose. He’s done a total 180 from before. Unlike Roxas who lives in the present, Axel still longs for the past. His memories of the past are what he cannot bear to lose. This conviction gives him the strength to confront Saix for the first time, when he shuts him down later.

Roxas later writes in his diary:

Axel and I talked for a while about the things we can’t bear to lose. Axel thinks that for Nobodies, it’s our pasts, because that’s all we have to remember the pain of losing something. I don’t remember my past, but the idea of losing the present–Axel or Xion–scares me.

It’s fascinating how much Axel grows as a character. He no longer runs from his pain, but embraces it. Because the pain of loss stems from the ability to love. Axel would rather deal with that pain than lose his memories of being able to love.

Day 171 ~Love~

Roxas: I found out about love on today’s mission–that it’s something powerful.

Axel: That’s true. It is. But I’ll never get to experience it.

This scene was omitted from the movie version, but it actually made me tear up. Axel doesn’t trust Xemnas, and he doesn’t seem to truly believe deep down that he’ll ever get a heart again. He tells Roxas otherwise, but it comes across as him just saying that ease his worries. Even though he doesn’t have much hope that he’ll ever experience love again, he STILL cherishes the memories of when he could experience love. That is just is heartbreaking and beautiful to me. Also, I couldn’t help but get the sense from reading the story that Lea was speaking from experience. I think he loved Isa. Like, really loved him.

Lea: Ah! Forget it. You know what? I’ll bring ‘em back myself. Why do I always get stuck with the icky jobs?

What’s the first thing Lea does when he wakes up as a complete person? He looks for Isa. Even after everything Saix has said and done, even though he knows it is highly dangerous, he’s still more than happy to use the Door to Darkness just to find him. He even uses the same quote he used for Roxas and Xion. That’s how devoted he is to his friends. And I loved it.

And I loved how distracted and depressed Lea looked at the end of DDD. He was brooding and lost in thought, as he stood away from the others who were huddled around Sora. I could tell he was desperately hoping that Isa would go back to being the person he remembered once he was recompleted. He looked so disappointed and confused. Why would Isa be back with Xemnas? He needed to know. And ya know what? I DID TOO. I really wanted closure on this.

Axel: Ever hear of knocking?

Saïx: Tell me what Xion has been doing.

Axel: How should I know? I’m not spying on her.

Saïx: …But the two of you are close.

Axel: So what, now I’ve gotta rat on my friends to you? Get out of my room, man.

Saïx: You and Xion will be executing your next mission together.

Axel: Yes, sir, thank you, sir. You paid me a personal visit just to tell me that?

Saïx: …We also need you to go back to Castle Oblivion.

Axel: We, or you?

KH3 revealed that Saix was fueled by jealousy after Lea “forgot” about him in favor of Roxas and Xion. This was supposedly the driving force behind his icy coldness to Axel in 358/2 Days. I don’t think this is an adequate explanation at all. From what I could see, it was the total opposite. Axel was the one who was hurt by the deterioration of their friendship, while Saix seemed to have no feelings for Axel at all. Including feelings about his personal life. Saix is the one who “forgot”.

All he seemed to care about was finding the Chamber of Waking. He didn’t even seem to personally care whether Axel lived or died. If Axel died, but he had still found the chamber beforehand, I think Saix would have been satisfied. This is what he wrote in his report when news was coming in that the Castle Oblivion team was wiped out:

I doubt Axel would be among those lost, but I must plan for the worst. First, I must locate the Keyblade master.

He talks about him like a disposable tool, then immediately shifts focus to Sora. This doesn’t read like a bitter former friend who is hurt and jealous. It reads like a totally emotionless robot.

Axel: You mean the chamber. We turned that place inside out. If it’s there, we’re not gonna find it by just looking.

Saïx: Hmm… Then let me give you another incentive. Naminé isn’t the only one who can trace her beginnings to Castle Oblivion. Xion comes from there, too.

Axel: Huh?

Saïx: The place where Naminé and Xion were born…It’s practically calling out for you.

Axel: Hmph… Whatever. You’re the one who wants me to go. Don’t try and dress it up as a favor.

Saix does not seem to care that Axel has new friends. He just wants to make sure he is able to reap the benefits of those friendships for himself. Everything he says to Axel is calculated and cold. The only one in particular he shows true hatred for is Xion. Not even Roxas, who Axel is probably closer to.

As expected, the Duplicate is starting to show its limits. The Program showed promise, but a puppet is just a puppet: something to be toyed with until it breaks.I am utterly at a loss as to what Roxas and Axel see in that thing. How best to dispose of it merits my consideration going forward. -Saix

There has to be something to what Saïx said. Why isn’t Xion qualified to be one of us? He said to just look at her, but at what? The fact that she looks like Naminé? Xion and Naminé must be connected. Whose Nobody is Xion, anyway? What is Saïx hiding? -Axel

But I think don’t his utter disgust for Xion had anything to do with her being Axel’s friend. I think it had to do with the fact that he didn’t see what they were seeing when he looked at her. Everyone else saw a girl who looked like Kairi, hooded or not. It’s never explained outright what Saix saw when he looked at her, but he would only refer to her as “it”. I think if it was revealed how he saw Xion in 358/2 Days, it would have ruined the mystery of Saix, which was clearly not meant to be revealed until later. So it was left ambiguous.

But I would guess what he saw was just an empty replica, like we see in KH3. Blank, just as Namine said Xion was before Sora’s memories were absorbed into her. And perhaps it made him so disgusted because he subconsciously recognized himself in an empty puppet that was nothing but a tool to be used until it broke. Yet even the empty puppet was capable of feeling more deeply than Saix was. His contempt for Xion was the closest Saix came to showing genuine feelings in Days. That, and when Roxas defeated him, where he sounded truly in despair over not having a heart.

Saïx: I never expected you to question it. If you could save one of them…why would you choose the puppet? Or put it this way. Which would you rather suffer the loss of: some make-believe friendship, or a real one?

Saix’s threat was two-fold. If Xion continues to exist, Axel stands to lose his friendship with Roxas; he’s also implying that Axel will lose his friendship with him as well. Saix is trying to manipulate Axel’s feelings for his own ends. Again, Saix doesn’t care that Axel is friends with Roxas. He doesn’t seem jealous to me. He just wants Xion out of the way and wants Axel’s compliance.

Saïx: Things are finally right again. Of course we’re better off this way. Xemnas is exasperated from all the “fixing” we’ve had to do. We have to set things right. There is simply too much on the line…Lea.

Saix uses Axel’s true name for the first time here and it’s nothing but an attempt at emotional blackmail. Essentially, Saix is getting desperate. Axel won’t cooperate with him anymore. Trying to use his feelings for Roxas didn’t work. Trying to use his friendship with Saix didn’t work. There’s one last tactic he can turn to: he coldly uses Lea’s old name in an attempt to dredge up Lea’s past and his feelings for Isa. That was his last resort. He knew exactly what button to push.

Saïx: Is she that important to you?  

Sora: Yeah. More than anything.

Saïx: Show me how important.

Saix: True… we don’t have hearts. But we know all too well how to injure a heart. 

It was the exact same stunt he tried to pull with Sora in KH2 when he made him get on his knees, only to throw it in his face. If 358/2 Days was trying to send the message that Saix was just SO heartbroken over Axel forgetting about him and making new friends, they did a terrible job in my opinion. It just reinforced my view that Saix, more than any other Nobody, had no capacity for genuine feelings. He had no heart. Even Xigbar points this out. Everyone can see it but Saix, apparently.

Yen Sid: I will tell you what your friend needs right now. It is not your protection. He needs you to believe. You see, Ventus’s heart hangs in the balance. It sleeps in the place between light and darkness. From all I can perceive, that means he will be looking for a friend–one who believes in him, to show him the way home. Just as long as you love him…then Ventus will be able to find you when he wakes. He can follow that love back to where he belongs–the realm of light.

Wasn’t this the central message of Birth By Sleep? If believing in someone you love is the key to restoring a lost heart, then Lea was truly written as the perfect character for that role. I swear, those two characters’ stories were specifically written for each other; the set up was so perfect. Lea believes memories give one immortality. He never forgot his friend even when he changed into a person he hated. So who better to prove that a heart is never truly lost for good than Lea?

But NONE of this awesome development really gets followed up on. The story totally left me hanging, which is unforgivable, lol. And now I’m supposed to just uncritically accept this total bullshit explanation KH3 gives me. Oh, turns out Isa was just choosing to be a cold and heartless sociopath the whole time. He was doing it all for this girl, you see. I know they never mentioned her before or anything, but its true. I swear! Though Isa might have just been imagining her the whole time…But still…it’s true.

I mean, it’s not like Saix had Xehanort’s heart implanted in him for who knows how many years. He totally had strong feelings for this girl! But not for his best friend. Or…anything else. Plus he was mad at Lea for hanging out with Roxas and Xion too much! That explains his decision to sacrifice his heart, join Xehanort and usher in the apocalypse perfectly!

What’s that, you ask? His pointy ears and strangely-colored eyes? Or ya know, his X-SHAPED SCAR? Ummmm…oh hey, look over there! Lea and Isa made up and are sharing ice cream! Such a happy ending! Now move along folks, there’s nothing to see here. You can’t question canon.

[zyxabcqrs]

since you did Isa for that ask thing what about Lea 👀

[axel lesbian is excited]

favorite thing about them: i LOVE how he adopts every single teenager he comes into contact with. it’s just so cute! he loves kids so much! he’s so sweet with them too, i just.... have a huge soft spot for characters like him. he’s so so good and he loves his kids so much.

least favorite thing about them: really wish he wasn’t Like That sometimes. just like. [gestures vaguely at CoM axel] i love him but he embarrasses me. BUT ALSO the whole ‘girls are complicated :////’ speech? shut up axel

favorite line: “go on, you just keep running! but i’ll always be there to bring you BACK!”

i’ll be honest with you i just looked a video of it up to make sure i was getting the exact wording right and i winced in pain. i would put that ENTIRE SCENE here if i could, i just chose this line specifically because it’s the one that summarizes all of it but god... god! how bitter he sounds when he says “everyone thinks they’re right...”, the raw fucking emotion when he yells that “WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM?!”. jesus christ it hits me so hard i can barely watch it but it’s my favorite scene in kingdom hearts for a reason.

brOTP: him and xion have such a good dynamic! i’ll spare you from the rant about how xion gets shoved aside unfairly but like...!!! he cares for her a lot, he wants so badly for everything to be okay and for her to stick around... their relationship is bumpy as hell but it’s because they’re both trying to do what’s right (for everyone, and for themselves), but their idea of what is right don’t go well together. he loves her so much.... his daughter.........

i was so afraid that they’d brush his relationship with xion aside in favor of him and roxas’ in kh3 but!!!!! NO they actually get a lot? him crying when he sees xion in kairi ruins me. the “who are you?” ruins me. the fact that he remembers her and immediately yells her name and reaches out to try and protect her. im EMO

lea loves his children equally yall have just been fed lies by an untrustworthy source (358/2 days saix, famous xion hater)

OTP: going against everything past me stood for, leaisa. despite everything he loves isa so much, he’s so upset when saix dies.... IN HIS ARMS.... uuu they’re perfect and married. gay FUCKING rights

nOTP: eh i don’t have a strong one, that i recall? other than the obvious minor/adult shit. 

random headcanon: not that wild of a headcanon but he’s (VISIBLY) taller than isa and you will take this from my cold dead hands. he’s extremely annoying about it.

unpopular opinion: i dont know. i look at him and i go more “he is a handsome kind man i would like to date” rather than “he is hot” but like i see where the hot argument comes from. my unpopular opinion is “he is not that hot but he is handsome and has kind eyes and a kind heart”. i am very sorry this is the only thing i could think of for this one

song i associate with them: i’ll also give u two

alive by sia i actually have a cover of this in my playlist, not the original, but i cant find the cover anywhere else so.

manic pixie dream girl by bandshes ok listen. this is axel. i am speaking directly to your ear now. this is axel @ saix

favorite picture of them:

just like the fact that the game cuts from potc world (ugh) to THIS was the fastest emotional rollercoaster ive ever been put through

[send me a character!]

[misomilk]

Good day, fellow shippers!

Akusai month starts tomorrow! I’m so excited for all of your entries! Let’s have another lovely akusaimonth this year.

For more info, please see: http://bit.ly/akusaimonth2019 (contains prompts, ask summaries, etc).

--Secret Report: Saïx: Day 356-- What were you really after, Lea? We joined the Organization at the same time, and formulated our plan. At this point, it's just an idle fantasy. Everything changed. You, and me.