#i genuinely did not want to remember the time my dream dad turned into fucking mike wazowski oh my god

[elliezlils11utt]

Dbf!abby pt 2

contents: nsfw!! age gap (reader is early 20s Abby is mid-late 30!) risky sex! no descriptions of reader..? (I think) fingering, pt 2 to a post I’ve already made and won’t really make sense if you haven’t read pt 1? (technically you can read it w/o pt 1 tho)

pt 1 here!

summary: Abby fucks you while you, your father, and her are watching a movie together.

Wc: 1.5k?

proofread?: no babes sorry

A/n: some of this is quite literally copy and pasted from c.ai. I did not want to write this bc it’s boring. (Hence why it took literally a month to get out!) I hope it lives up to your dreams tho!

taglist: @seraphicsentences @tohoko

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She chuckled at your reaction, stepping away from you just as your dad opened the door. You could tell Abby was disappointed too, but the look in her eyes hadn't completely left.

"Ah, there you are! Come give your old man a hug."

Your dad called out to you, a big smile on his face. He hugged you tightly before looking at Abby.

‘hey dad! how was it?’ your dad replies, rambling on on about a stupid dinner party. To be completely honest you don’t remember half of the shit he was saying really. your eyes too focused on the tempting looks Abby was giving you from behind your fathers back. your heart jumping around in your chest. you’re sight stayed on Abby. bluring out your fathers useless talking. when he finished dragging on his spiel he ruffles your hair, Turing to look at Abby.

‘thanks for watching my little trouble maker, I really appreciate it’

your gaze turns to Abby, looking up at her figure you force your eyes into a puppy dog pout. you take your lip between your teeth, biting the flesh in your mouth. you wink.

‘yah abs, thanks for watching me.’

she rolled her eyes, annoyed at your teasing antics. but truthfully your making her go insane. fuck. she groans at your wink before giving you a warning look, silently telling you to cut it out..

‘yah it was no problem!” her words seem so genuine, a sweet smile flashed at your father before her face deadpans back to you. your father looked between the two of you. raising his eyebrow slightly. you turn to you’re dad giving him a questionable hum.

“Hm?” you act clueless. you can feel Abby’s gaze on you. feeling her eyes trail down your body. your dad seemed slightly suspicious but her jst laughed and let it go.

“nothing, nothing! but hey, Abby if you don’t have any plans, wanna watch a movie? you know all three of us! like old times!”

“what do u say abs? you down to stay a while?” you give her a look, a knowing, begging look.

she raised the corner of her mouth at this offer. her eyes drift from your father to you, then back to your dad.

“Yeah sure, I don’t see why not!” It’s not like she could ever deny you. you and your god damn puppy eyes. your pleading pathetic look. god you were so pretty to her.

“alright im going to go set up the movie.”

“alright daddy, call us in when it’s all set!” you watch your father walk out of the room, when he’s out of sight your catch your lip between your teeth before looking up at abs.

“your a bit of a brat, huh angel? you love teasing me infront of your dad don’t you? little minx.”

“mhm, you love it tho. the adrenaline of almost getting caught, don’t you abs?”

She chuckled and stepped closer to you, her eyes darkening with desire.

"You're very observant, aren't you? How about I test that theory?"

Abby whispered in a low, seductive tone. She ran her hand over your arm, feeling the goosebumps form on your skin. She leaned in, her lips only millimeters away from your ear.

“How about we make sure we don't get caught..?”

“yeah? but oh, what if we did. what if I ran and told daddy right now that his best friend was about to fuck his innocent little daughter? What would happens then abs.”

you say in a teasing, almost daring tone. She paused as you spoke, her eyes darkening even more at your teasing remark.

"Oh really, angel? You're testing me, huh? I'm sure your dad would love to see his daughter pinned against the wall, writhing and moaning because of me."

Abby smirked, her voice dripping with provocative undertones. your lips crash with hers, desperation winning. It was dangerous, your father just in the other room. But the thrill made it even hotter. Abby responded to your kiss passionately, her tongue eagerly slipping into your mouth. She pressed her body against yours, the adrenaline of getting caught making the moment even more intense. She felt your tongue against hers, the taste of you making her dizzy. Abby's hands found their way to your hips, her fingers digging into your skin. It was so dangerous, but so damn good. you hear your father call out from the other room, telling you the movie was set up. You slowly pull away from Abby, looking into her eyes. A string of spit connects your lips to hers. your hands dragging down to hers, pulling her in the living room.

“stay quite okay?”

You can feel her breathing heavy, her chest rising and falling. Her cheeks are flushed, lips parted and eyes darkened. Abby is practically speechless as you pull her into the living room. She nods slowly, her voice barely audible as she whispers.

“Okay."

you drag her into the living room plopping down on the couch. Patting the seat next to u. acting as if nothing happened in the room next door. Abby follows you, her heart racing. She takes a seat next to you, trying to compose herself and act nonchalant. Her eyes are fixated on the tv screen, but her body is still buzzing with the adrenaline from your encounter. She leans slightly towards you, her leg grazing against yours under the blanket. you pull her hand onto your thigh under the blanket, turning to her. She looks at you, feeling your touch send sparks through her body. Abby turns towards you too, her fingers tracing circles on your thigh under the blanket. She smiles softly at you, knowing damn well how risky this whole situation is. You drag her hand higher, closer to where you want her. hoping she takes the hint. She feels her heart race as her hand moves higher, her breath hitching. She glances at you, seeing the desire in your eyes. Abby moves even closer to you, leaning in so her breath tickles your ear.

“You're being quite daring tonight, angel. Do you enjoy the danger? Do you want us to get caught?"

you whisper into her ear

“maybe, maybe not. fuck around and find out.”

She shivers as your breath touches her ear, and your whispers send her heart racing even faster. Abby lets out a soft laugh, and her hand continues to move higher, getting closer to where you need it. She leans in close, her lips brushing against your ear as she whispers back.

“You little... devil. You know what you're doing, don't you?"

“of course I do.” you giggle softly. you feel her hand palm your heat. the contact making you jump. you look at your father, he’s completely interested in the movie. paying no mind to the two of you. her fingers slide your sleep shorts to the side. her digits rubbing your cunt over your painties. you close your eyes, enjoying the pure bliss of what you’ve been wanting for so long. her fingers work at your cunt. feeling your slick build up on the cotton of your painties. you bite down on your lower lip. hard. holding back desperate little moans. how pathetic. her hand slides under your painties. feeling your slick flesh. you bite back a moan, bucking into her hands.

“shhh shh shhh, quite baby.” a low voice whispered into your ear. how the fuck were you supposed to be quiet when her fingers were slipping into your drooling pussy? she starts out with one finger. slowly pushing it into your clenched hole. then she adds another. you try to hide the fact your dads best friend was inside of you but it was kinda hard. your hand flings up to ur mouth when she curls her fingers into u. your gaze turns back to your father who’s falling asleep in his chair. her eyes remain on the tv. never breaking and never looking at you. she knows what she’s doing and refuses to look at you. under the blanket her digits pump in and out of your hole. faster and faster. you wiggle around in your seat. Practically dripping. you whimper slightly. causing Abby to stop completely. she looks at you with a piercing stare, her eyebrow raised.

“m’ sorry.” you whine quietly. and with that her fingers return their unforgiving pace. you feel yourself at the brink of your orgasm. you bite down on the back of your hand holding back your whimpers and moans. you squirm in your seat as you cum on her fingers. her eyes still never leave the tv as your cum all over her. Her digits work you through your orgasm. you struggle to keep quiet. You calm down from your high. looking at your dad to see if he heard your sad attempt to stay silent. he’s passed out. you turn to Abby who has a shit eating grin plastered across her face. you punch her playfully, rolling your eyes before laying your head on her shoulder.

“whats happening in the movie?”

“I don’t know I haven’t been watching”

“yes you have?”

“you think I can keep focus on a dumb movie when you look so cute trying to be quiet from me?”

A/n: this sucks. ilyyy!!!

[silasbug]

dream log Nr. -004

02/06/2022 (extracted from a chat, unstructured)

hade:

Start is muddy, but I remember kind of playing a dungeon (albeit in real life) that was like a slaughter arena. You walked in, there were rows upon rows of enemies, and at first only a few would come to life, then suddenly all at once would rain upon you. We were 4 players as usual, but when all activated one player kind of ran away to hide into a corner so they wouldnt be found and couldnt lose. They looked like one of those nurses from Silent Hill but with their head in Bandages and they did the hands by their side flail walk like in Attack on Titan. Needless to say, we absolutely lost and got demolished.

I think I remember texting or calling you afterwards that this dungeon was hella dope, and there were these "real life profile altars" that you could customize and people could see, and mine was dark purple with flowy fabrics & three minis in it.

Eventually I think Daniel, Kendra, Kevin and some others walk by and we go for a stroll or something, to my house. You were eventually also there I think, this part is the blurriest. It was all very dark, but eventually we get to my house which is just a room, and it turns out you were somehow trying to put together a surprise party for my birthday but I am in denial like "nahhh, its not my birthday" because I was uncomfortable with the attention. Weirdly there were two people there that I follow on Instagram (they look very gothic in this dream, based on a historic fashion outfit reel they did) and I talk to the dude as we're having cake but I dont remember much about this.

 .

Tuffi:

so you got your ass kicked in the real life dungeon and texted me it was hella dope?

 .

hade:

the loss sucked and I vented about how it was annoying that one person just hid to let us do the work, but the way the dungeon was designed was hella dope & we should try it ahain later :P

 .

Tuffi:

haha

nice

what role did you play?

were you like aescus?

or was it different?

 .

hade:

Anyways this whole gothic surprise tea party at my place turns into.. hm, I dont understand where, why, or how it flipped but eventually there is Butcher from The Boys, he's kind of my dad, and he's trying to get me away from his ex-wife and to come life with him on a farm because she was acting crazy. It was almost in an elongated barn type thing, and he was so angry at her for just disappearing on him and disappointed by what she's become

she was moving really strangely, only as if trying to act human, sometimes she'd end up on all fours, jumping at the wall or the window like a spider, pleading with him to let me stay, but in a way that spelled danger and "bad idea"

so he takes me with him to a farm where I had a sister and a brother I think, he stayed as my dad but turned into someone else when we got there (bigger belly, softer face), and either his ex wife as mom turned into a different mom eventually or there was a new one eventually.. I dont remember

we also had a dog called Yogi (so the same as my moms) but he was an old sad looking golden retriever in this one

it was a very small house and we lived in what I would describe as comfortable poverty

sometimes people went missing but would reappear

I would spend a lot of time with Yogi getting to know him, cuddling him, befriending him, feeding him, because everyone else seemed to neglect him, he was always in a certain shed, and if he was anywhere else he'd run around hyperactively

eventually we got another dog, looking identical to Yogi but younger and female, and her name was something starting with an N or an L, but in the dream I kept forgetting her name, then it would come back, and so on

I'd now split my time between the two of them, and the dogs didnt seem to like each other much, Yogi out of jealousy it seemes

there was one day I was spending a bit more time with the female dog and Yogi broke out because he was jealous to find us

I realized I hadnt gone to yogi get and felt super bad and followed him when he darted toward the neighbours that had just moved in who were holding a wedding in their backyard that had super tall grass

so they were clearing some of the grass to have space, and yogi seemed excited and hyper despite his upset so he ran there

I ran after him and a man was standing at the corner fence connecting our properties

I profusely apologized to him for my dog and realized that I couldnt get yogi to stay on our property because the fence was just two wires and he got thru, so I asked if it was okay if Yogi joined the wedding

and the man said sure! no problem for Yogi to stick around for the celebrations or to come around since he seemed to lively. The man also said we could come by I think, then he showed me a card with his name on it which was a Co-worker from (supermarket I work at) so I was like "Oh! I also work there!", his name was something along the lines of Sanvri

uhh...

ah okay, I almost forgot

so, Yogi was fine to stay for the celebration and I was reliefed that they wouldnt be upset at Yogi darting around

at this time one of my siblings had also disappeared I think (the sister)

he also invited us to come as well, so I go back to my family and tell them that we are allowed to join them for the wedding as well

before the wedding my mother and I are sitting at a kid’s table hidden in some bushed, I'm eating a weird stringy salad out of a can (like algae salad) and Yogi or the other dog is there as well, this was actually I think when Yogi ran to the wedding, but finished eating before I went there, I"m not sure anymore

I'd also seen a weird thing around that was like a big great ball (like a yoga ball) on legs

almost as if there was a monster either among us, or hunting us, I couldnt be certain

so we go to the wedding with my brother, mom, dad, and some other dude we bring along

and we are now in a weirdly white sterile room, only large enough to fit a dinner table, with a door leading into the next room where the wedding was, and we are there to eat

my brother has a black bandage on his left leg up to his knee with what seems like a bow with a square plate in it

the host asks us if he has a certain illness (because it is highly contagious, and he would have to leave as to avoid risking his kids getting it) called something "shield" and my dad replies no, that it's something else, some unnamed illness every farm boy gets at some point (the host leaves, satisfied with that) and we all suddenly get very suspicious, I start inquiring, saying that the square on the bandage bow looks very shield (wappen) like and that it seemed part of the illness rather than the bandage and dad tries deflecting

so I ask what the hell this illness is supposed to be called then if its literally common enough for every farm boy to get on their leg at some point

the dangerous illness was a weird black leg rot that apparently had this formation of an abcess that looked like this black bow with a square gem in it, and so brother had it

dad knowing he couldnt talk himself out of this got up

and we all suddenly knew that he was the impostor that was making my family disappear one by one

and he turned into

fucking Mike Wazowski

except kind of like a translucent Mike Wazowski where you could see all the blood vessels

Image

thats kind of when I realized I'm probably dreaming and it just became a cluster fuck of random happenings

Dad Butcher from the Boys turning into fucking Mike Wazowski, what is wrong with my brain

I think he ate one or two people

while I escaped

idk

a moment later everyone was back and we were in a national park where I was looking at the Direction Board, knowing what he was but everything was oddly fine, then I wooe up

I need to emphasize more how dingy everything was, the buildings were unlivable

also the dogs played a much bigger role but I cant describe those parts because of how blurry they are

I did forget to mention that eventually the female dog ran after yogi to the celebration, and suddenly they got along well

when dad turned the female dog hugged the shivering and scared yogi and hid his face in her fur so he wouldnt have to look

[bubybubsters]

Book Boyfriends (Xaden x reader)

a/n: random midnight thoughts. Completely random on my phone, not proof read. Just finished fourth wing! Also I have 7 drafts I can’t seem to finish.

⚠️: none?

wc: 640

masterlist

Xaden growled as you shifted again, there was no fucking way he could sleep with you lying on top of him constantly shifting while reading a fictional book. He wondered what in the book made you squirm every few minutes. A plan forms as the gears in his mind start turning, and he grins because if he does this, you will be mad beyond measure. The first rule of dating you was, do not touch my books unless I give you explicit permission. Oh my was he going to break that rule (the only rule).

Xaden surged up, faster than you could react and pulled the book from your hands. Opening it fully, he started at the top of your current page, dimly registering your curses as you tried to pull the book from his grasp.

“His mouth found mine, the kiss open-”

The book was snatched from Xaden’s grip and he was faced with the face of his (currently very mad) girlfriend.

“What the actual fuck Xaden? You know my books are the one thing nobody is allowed to touch! Why in the world would you do that?”

Suddenly Xaden felt immensely guilty and he sat up, arms reaching for your stiff body. He remembered how you’d followed all his rules and didn’t push him to open up. Instead asking politely and waiting for him to meet you halfway. Xaden’s amused face instantly turned into one of regret.

“I’m so sorry y/n, I just wanted to know what you were so engrossed in and why you were squirming constantly right on top of my waist!”

You must have sensed the genuine apology and your eyes softened slightly but you said nothing, just putting the book on top of the bag you’d brought to his room. Sighing you turned to face him, “Xaden, I think it’s time to tell you why the books are so important. I know you’re going to say I don’t have to and I know I don’t. But I want to, I trust you.”

Picking up another book from your bag you flipped through it with a loving smile on your face. Xaden’s heart melted at the sight and he felt a little better. “These books are not from our world, that’s why their covers are so colorful. My dad told me that his great grandfather’s signet was to create a portal to another world. I won’t bore you with the details but the point is, these are the only books of their kind, at least in this world and the only possessions that I have from my dad. Now that you know, you can touch them, but please Xaden. Be careful.”

Xaden smiled at you, of course you would care for things like this, and since you cared, he did to. “I will, and I’m sorry about the stunt I pulled. I just wanted to know.” He opened his arms again, in a silent offer of apology.

You smiled at him and jumped into his arms, “just so you know wingleader, I was reading about my book boyfriend. His name is Rhysand, Rhys for short, Rhysie for shorter.”

You could fell Xaden stiffen against your body as you both lay down to sleep. “What the fuck is a book boyfriend? Aren’t I your only boyfriend?”

You chuckled, flicking his nose, “a book boyfriend is someone in a book that I would wish to be like my boyfriend in real life. And no, you’re not my only boyfriend, just the only real one.”

Xaden grumbles, obviously not happy with the arrangement. He hugs you to his chest, “I’m better and hotter than anyone you could dream of so I think I’d be the only boyfriend needed.”

You just laughed, snuggling into his chest and mumbling, “you tell yourself that.”

Xaden growls. “Rhysie isint even shorter than Rhys.”

You just snort out a laugh.

a/n: ill try to finish my 7 drafts but my last year of hs is starting! So yeah, not much time. Also I fell all my writing is shitty so, goodnight!

[blacklesbothatlovestowrite]

On My Mama Pt. 4

Tags: @mixedfandxms @shurislover @sweetalittleselfish-honey @desswright29 @cutttteeee @onyxstones-world @katymae12344 @doramilaj233 @sweetalittleselfish-honey @6-noir @khara876 @she-is-my-unrequited-love34 @teadah18 @un-deniable-me3

So I took a bit of a hiatus but I’m back. I started a new story on Wattpad under my username NeomaMona (QueenNeoma) called You & Me. It’s a Jamaican fic with a straight main couple and Lesbian/gay side characters. Remember I write for everyone so no one is left out. Original characters w/ pics. This update is a bit of a roller coaster but I hope you guys enjoy. 🤎

A few weeks went by with you ignoring Shuri and Riri. You didn’t acknowledge their presence, you were either locked in your room when they were home or you were out.

While you felt slightly guilty for ignoring Riri as she didn’t do anything besides befriend an immoral person. You couldn’t bring yourself to talk to her. You hated to admit after the talk where you’d both shared such private and painful memories; you liked her.

You didn’t like anyone. Well, except Shuri before you’d found out what she’d done. However that didn’t count. As you never met her when you were crushing on her. You were just another girl behind a screen, admiring her while she knew nothing of your existence.

Riri’s words constantly played in your head. You scrutinized Bria’s every move and action, but so far she hadn’t done anything. She seemed genuine.

She kept you in a constant state of bliss. She loved making you cum in your room, whilst the duo were home. And while you knew she did it with the motivation of getting under their skin. You were sure at this point you liked fucking her but that was it. Your crush had worn off after the first two weeks.

In the past few weeks, Riri made it harder for you to ignore her. She brought you breakfast and iced coffee, she did your laundry and folded it, she waited up for you each night with dinner despite not receiving any thanks.

Each interaction made the guilt grow stronger. It was obvious she was trying. You’d never had anyone pay you any mind continuously, that felt genuine. She did things without being asked to. If you felt frustrated about something, she was quickly finding a way to help you. It was unspoken. She seemed to pay close attention to you. She noticed the small things.

One of the things that warmed you up to her slightly was when you’d fallen asleep in your room with the door open as you worked on your assignment. She placed your bonnet on your head and removed your makeup. You’d woken slightly when she placed your comforter over you, and whispered goodnight.

You couldn’t ignore how much she seemed to care about you.

-

“Hey.” You looked up from your textbook to see Riri in your doorway. Her hair was freshly braided back in cane rows styled into two space buns. She seemed nervous as she fidgeted with her hands.

“Hi.” You replied, biting your bottom lip. You felt just as nervous as she looked.

“I want to show you something. If you have the time?” She seemed unsure and you could hardly blame her. You’d said nothing to her in weeks despite all she’d done for you.

“Sure.” You nodded, closing your textbook and placing it on your nightstand before standing. You followed her out to the living room, your brows furrowing as she stopped in front of a canvas.

“I’m not sure how you’re going to take this but I remember when I lost my dad how much keeping his memory alive helped me.” Riri cleared her throat as she looked at you. Her eyes sparkled as you raised a brow, confused.

She turned the canvas around and you gasped. She’d painted a picture of your father and you. You were 3 in the portrait, sitting on your father’s shoulder as you cheered. A look of love on both of your faces. You swallowed as you recalled exactly where the picture she’d used had been taken.

Your mother was walking for the House of Woo. She was the first dark skin woman of color to ever grace the big stage. She single-handedly paved the way for dark skin women in the industry before the Woo show, however Woo was a coveted event for any black woman as they kept to lighter complexions only.

You remember being so in awe of her, seeing her walk. The only model who looked like you, not because of features but skin tone. All the other models were European, Latin/Hispanic, Biracial or Lightskin. You remember your father whistling and cheering loud as she sauntered on.

“Thank you.” The words were hard to release. You felt tears prick your eyes as you stared at the portrait. You wondered why she chose that picture of the many of your family online. If she’d known the backstory of the picture. Regardless you were grateful for it nonetheless. It captured your father in one of his happiest moments.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry, Y/n.” Riri frowned but you shook your head.

“You didn’t.”

“How about some food? You’ve been studying all day.” Riri suggested.

You nodded.

Riri took you to her favorite diner. There were a few students you knew from your college in the packed diner. As you were seated, Riri broke the silence. Her fingers playing with her gold necklace.

“I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.” Riri muttered, her voice low.

“I’m okay. I love it, really.” You said slowly. Hoping you conveyed just how much you enjoyed her gift.

“Why’d you do it ?” You asked.

“Everyone should have something of importance in their home.” She shrugged. “You had no pictures in your room. Yet your IG is full of pictures of you and your dad.”

“I locked away my photo albums.” You admitted. You’d even locked your album in your photo’s with picture of your dad.

“I hope you don’t think I overstepped.” She swallowed, you watched as she swiped her tongue against her bottom lip. You noticed she did that a lot when she was nervous or she was concentrating. 

“I appreciate it. I’ve been trying to pretend like if I don’t see things that remind me of him that I’ll stop being sad. But It hurts more.” Your eyes were watery.

“We aren’t the same. I know that but if you ever want to talk, I’m here. Even if it’s just to listen. Keeping things bottled inside won’t help you. I know that from experience.” She emphasized. She placed her hand over mine on the table.

“I’m sorry for ignoring you.” You changed the subject.

“You’re good.” Riri waved you off. “Shuri was out of line. And I pushed you too much.”

“You didn’t.” Your assured her.

“Thank you for everything you did. I should have said that before now. You didn’t have to do-“

“I wanted to.” She smiled.

“What are you getting?” A girl with a puff and laid edges said as she walked over. She was full of attitude. You looked her up and down, before rolling your eyes.

“What do you want, mama?” Riri asked.

“Whatever you get is fine.” You shrugged. You knew you and Riri liked the same food, after all the takeout she’d gotten you and the meals she’d made for you.

“We’ll have two medium well provolone mushroom burgers, with the thin fries and strawberry milk shakes.” Riri ordered. The girl hissed her teeth before writing it down.

“April, drop the attitude. I’ve never led you on, we were never together so I don’t appreciate your energy.” Riri lowered her voice so only you, her and the waitress heard.

“Good luck with that.” April directed towards me, tilting her head towards Riri.

“Friend of yours?” You smirked.

“No. We messed around but I told her what I tell everyone. I wasn’t looking for anything serious. I’m single. I have no need to lie, cheat or play with people’s emotions. I’m straightforward.” Riri clarified.

“Wasn’t?” You raised a brow.

“No one has captured my attention like you.” Riri admitted, her eyes locked with yours.

“Bold.” You giggled.

“I never lie. I have no reason to. No girl has ever made me like them enough to want to do anything for them beyond sex.” She shrugged and you bit your lip to keep from smiling. As hard as you tried not to like her, she was getting under your skin. While Bria had you hooked sexually, Riri was able to get under your skin with just her actions, her words.

You knew she was being honest because you’d heard stories of how she was never interested in going on dates with other girls. How she ‘loved them and leaved them’ she was solely focused on school and making her money.

“Why’d you get strawberry milkshakes.” Deciding to change the subject again.

“You hate chocolate and you think vanilla is too plain for a milkshake unless there are things added but you love strawberry milkshakes like you love strawberry cake.” Riri noted. “I know you only drunk the shakes I bought you because you were being nice. I saw the cringe on your face when you drank them so I deduced you had to like strawberry since you’d said you loved milkshakes on your snap one day.”

“Uhhhh.” You were shocked she paid such close attention to that.

“How cozy…” You look up to see Bria walking towards you. You could see her friend from the day in the courtyard sitting at a nearby table with her phone in her hand and figured she’d alerted her to where you were and with whom.

“Bria.” You warned. The more you got to know her, the more you realized while she despised both Shuri and Riri; she absolutely hated Riri. You were all for her being rude to Shuri but Riri didn’t deserve it.

“I missed you, babe.” She smiled, leaning down and kissing me. She thrusted her tongue into my mouth and sucked on it, as she moaned out. The kiss wasn’t like her usual ones. You could tell she was angry underneath the sweet demeanor. You pulled away, staring at her in confusion.

“What are you doing her?” You asked.

“I could ask you the same question, babe.” She narrowed her eyes at you.

“Riri and I are hanging out.” You informed her, watching as her eye slightly twitched.

“That’s interesting. I thought you hated her.” She swung her eyes towards Riri, before looking back at you.

“I never said I hated Riri.” I stared at her in shock that she’d so blatantly lie.

“Y/n, you said you hated her. That your skin crawled every time you were around her.” Bria gloated and you scowled. You couldn’t believe she was lying. Sure you’d said that about Shuri but never about Riri. Sure you found her annoying in the beginning but you were starting to like her. “You literally said she needed to go back to Chicago where her pops and Natalie were buried because you couldn’t stand the sight of her.”

“Bria!” You couldn’t believe she’d say something so heinous.

“That’s how it is?” Riri scoffed, her eyes showing how hurt she was. You felt sick at the way her voice cracked and her eyes got glossy.

“Riri I did—“

“Stop lying Y/n. Be honest, tell her how you planned on telling the whole school how she’d gotten her father and friend killed by going to that park.” Bria grinned.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” You shouted, as the whole diner got quiet.

“You told her what I told you…” Riri rasped, as tears fell down her cheeks. You looked at her with empathy. She wasn’t one to cry.

“I promise you I didn’t…” You swear.

“How would she know? I’ve never told anyone besides you and Shuri. And Shuri would never tell anyone that. I know that for a fact!” Riri hissed.

“I may be a bitch. But I’m not heartless I didn’t tell her that. I swear.” You pleaded.

“I thought you weren’t. I told myself you were hurt and angry and lashing out, that you were a good person but who was I kidding. You talk about Shuri being a horrible person but she did what she did with a willing participant that did not let her know she was married or in a relationship. You two are NOT the same.” Riri declared before getting out of the booth and storming off.

You sat in silence as you stared. Watching her leave, feeling like you wanted to throw up. Having people dislike you was one thing but Riri was different. She was sweet, caring, generous.

“Oops.” Bria smirked.

“I never told you about her father or Natalie… And I never said those disgusting things.” You hissed. “Why would you lie?”

She moved close until her lips were by your ear and you tensed. You felt disgusted by her. Having her near you was too much.

“You think you’re all that because you had Riri’s attention? Riri was mine first. You’re nothing compared to me.” She hissed, before standing and flipping her hair in your face.

-

What the fuck?

You hadn’t seen Riri since the night before. She was nowhere to be found. You’d spent the whole day texting, calling and looking for her. She’d missed all her classes. You were frustrated. Shuri was no help as she came in drunk again and passed out on the couch.

You made your way over to Bria’s apartment, and banged on her door. You wanted to know what the fuck she was on. From her words it was clear she wanted Shuri and Riri which made no sense since she’d left them.

And if she was so jealous of you why did she fuck you? She clearly was obsessed with you to be eating your pussy as much as she did.

You had your phone recording from your pocket because you planned to clear your name to Riri. You couldn’t stomach her hating you.

“What?” She snapped as she flung the door open.

“What the fuck was that?” You matched her tone.

“Y/n, aren’t you a genius ?” She mocked.

“Why did you lie to Riri?” You demand.

“The questions should be why did she believe me? Why was she so quick to believe me over you?” She smirked.

“You had details not many people know I don’t blame her for not believing me. But I never told you any of that.” You crossed your arms over your chest. “Where did you hear about her Dad and Natalie?”

“Who cares?”

“I do, now tell me you classless hating ass bitch.” You barked, your tone conveying just how much you wanted to play ‘Whack A Bitch’.

“I saw you two when you were talking. I heard her tell you about them.” She rolled her eyes.

“Why do you hate her so much?” You wondered.

“I wanted Riri.” She snapped. “I’ve always wanted Riri. It’s the only reason I became friends with Shuri and fed her the idea of us being a throuple because they were close. Riri never seemed into it and at a certain point she decided to drop me like I was nothing when I told her I loved her and wanted to be with just her.”

“Are you serious right now? I can’t believe this shit!” You wanted to beat her ass so bad.

“Don’t act like you didn’t like me eating your pussy and fucking you while Riri listened.” Bria gloated. “You and I both know you wanted to get a reaction out of her.”

“Riri was right. You are a manipulative bitch.” You scoffed, walking away. She wasn’t worth your energy. You ended the recording and headed towards the only place you hadn’t looked. The lab.

After demanding to be let in, you were disappointed when you saw that Riri wasn’t there. You had no idea where else to look. You sighed before sending the recording to Riri’s number, her snap and her dms hoping she didn’t block you.

As you opened your apartment door you heard moans. You furrowed your brows as you locked the door behind you and headed towards your room, figuring Shuri had a girl over. Neither She or Riri had ever had anyone over so it was off putting but not surprising.

You tossed your keys and bag on the kitchen counter before seeing two people in the couch going at it. You couldn’t believe your eyes at first. But the longer you stared the more real it became.

You froze as you saw Riri fucking Nina on the couch. Your eyes were wide as you took in the scene in front of you. Nina was face down in the couch while Riri drove her strap into her. She was moaning and wailing as Riri pounded into her.

You couldn’t move as you watched in horror. You thought Nina was your friend. How could she fuck with someone she thought you ‘disliked’ and Riri? Of all the people she had to choose your ‘friend’.

“Fuck, you have the best pussy.” Riri groaned as she yanked Nina’s hair. “Look how you’re creaming for me mama.”

You cringed as she called her the nickname she only called you. You felt hurt. Bria turning out to be a fucked up person was one thing, but Riri? How could she go so low without even talking to you and letting you explain yourself or even defend yourself?

“Ay, mami! I love how you’re fucking me!” Nina cried out as Riri thrusted harder. You felt disgusted, angering building in you.

“Cum for me, mama.” Riri demanded, smacking Nina on the ass. And as if on command, Nina came. Her annoying ass voice screeching.

You crossed your arms.

“Are you done?” You asked.

“I mean not really but we probably should take this to my bedroom.” Riri smirked, as she moved away from Nina and stood. You narrowed your eyes as Nina got up and stared at you.

“I hope you don’t mind Riri invited me over? I couldn’t say no…” Nina smiled, and I bit back the urge to yell. I was about to turn to go into the room when Riri grabbed something from off the couch. Your heart dropped when you realized it was the canvas of your father and you.

“You’re disgusting!” You cried, as she walked it over to you with a smirk.

“It was fuck me, Natalie and my dad right?” Riri scoffed. “Well fuck you and your daddy.”

You watched as she took a lighter from off the nightstand and lit the canvas stained with their juices on fire. Your body shook as you watched her burn the canvas.

“Riri! That’s so mean.” Nina laughed.

“Never speak to me again. I will never forgive you for this. You were right. Shuri wasn’t to blame for anything. She was an uninformed willing participant. But you…” You sobbed. “You’re so much worse. Go to fucking hell Williams!”

You grabbed a vase with flowers and dumped the water into the burning canvas before grabbing your keys and bag and heading back out the door.



[kickinganddriving]

I have a request, still in the dad!pulisic mood: him meeting his daughter for the first time 🥹

Notes: Girlie you ask I shall write. Also I tried being funny, but this was too cute and now my ovaries are exploding. This was going to be a fic but after the thing kept on deleting itself it is now a blurb.

Paring: fem x dad! pulisic

Warning: Pregnancy, childbirth, mentions of sex, swearing, being a parent.

wc: 800 

You usually loved him but right now all you wanted to do was punch him in the dick. He did this to you, of course he forgot how to pull out and now you're screwed.

"CHRISTIAN MATE PULISIC I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU TELL ME ITS GOING TO BE WORTH IT AT THE END I WILL DO WHAT THE FUCKING PELVIC CONTUSION DIDN'T DO TO YOU" You blared out in the middle of the hospital while you were in the suffering that is birthing a child.

"2 more pushes and then you're done" Your OB says in a calm and soothing tone. After you somehow pushed to more time you heard a cry. You knew in a few weeks you would want to throw yourself out a window when you hear this cry, but right now, it was kind of nice. You turned your head to look at the man that was once holding you hand but now he was holding your child.

The look in his eyes, one of love, affection, and kindness. A look that is so sweet and pure it could power candyland for 100 years. His smile, it was so genuine and wide that you thought his mouth might get permanently stuck in that position. He stood there for a minute, taking in every last drop of this moment, his child, a part of him, innocently laying in his arms. He new he would protect this child every single day of his life from now and on.

"Chris, can I see my own child?" You ask after giving him a decent amount of time, but still wanting to see your very own child.

"Babe, can you believe we have our very own baby" he exclaims in pure disbelief of the child in front of him.

“I’m as shocked as you” You speak as he carefully hands the baby to you.

“What are we going to name her?” He asks remembering that she needs a name.

“I’m thinking Lila” It seemed like a sign because you couldn’t think of any other name while looking at her.

“I like it, Lila Pulisic” He grins. The nurse walks in to tell the both of you that she has to take the baby to get a check up. You both agree, you were so tired that you thought the baby being born might’ve been a dream. It was not though. 

“Go sleep baby, you deserve it” 

After you woke up all you heard was softly speaking Christian, you turn your head towards the love of your life to see him holding your newborn sleeping baby and talking to her ever so softly. You sat up so you could enjoy the view as you heard Christian softly speaking.

“No one is ever going to hurt you princess” You heard him say as you smile at the cutest nickname for your child.

Followed by “Your dada loves you more than anyone else.” After that he finally lifts his head and see’s you fully awake. “I was going to wake you up when they brought her back but you looked too cute to wake up.”

“Flattery might get you somewhere in 6 weeks Pulisic” You state with an ounce of sarcasm.

“Six weeks! I don’t think I can wait that long!” He says in disbelief.

“With a newborn baby, you definitely can” you say assuringly.

“Do you want to hold her”

“Gimme my baby” You respond mildly rushing him because you miss your baby.

“You know I love you so much?” He says as he hands you the baby.

“Yea, I guess your alright” you respond bringing the sarcasm back.

“Is it possible for anyone to be so innocent and so cute at the same time, like I fell so full of love I might just explode” He says while peering into his newborns eyes.

“Don’t explode i’m going to have enough diapers to clean for a while” you say in response.

“But it’s like if anyone tries to hurt her I just might kill them sight on scene. I just want to protect her from anything bad in the world.”

“I love her so much and we just met her” You state.

“Can I hold her, I already miss her?” He asks.

“Of course” You hand him the baby oh so carefully as it is both of your biggest fears to drop the baby. Christian just stands there looking at the newborn, and you know that she already has him wrapped around her fucking finger right out of the oven. 

“Just so you know she’s never allowed to date anyone” Christian says.

“Oh for sure”

[maggotwithanf]

it's come to my attention that not a lot of people know who the guy in my profile pic is and so i have made an effortpost about my favorite late 2000s adult animation sidekick character ever, Trans Icon Randall Skeffington from Ugly Americans:

Ugly Americans is a show about cryptids/monsters/etc living and adjusting to life in NYC and that doesn't matter WE'RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT RANDALL

Randall is a canonically bisexual zombie who's the main character, Mark's, roommate. He's also super fucking trans guy coded and I genuinely don't know if they did this on purpose or not but holy shit this speaks to me on another level.

He turned zombie for this chick he liked who decided she didn't like him that much, and came to terms with just being a zombie as an identity he chose for himself, and he sticks by it a lot. He's also got two (two?!?!?) full fucking episodes about losing his dick as it physically falls off his body and how he's pretty much okay with that but his dick isn't, and he learns to respect it and everything. And there's constantly background gags of Randall getting dick upgrades at the mechanic like he's modular b/c zombie dick

oh yeah and there's this:

Randall's bottom half gets ripped off for like the third time in the series and Mark has to carry him around in a garbage bag and Randall ends up rabbitholing onto a forum for transgender mummies and he's like ">:( it's no use they're just all tips on moisture retention" said with zero 2000s era irony for the trans thing or anything just genuine disappointment that this trans mummy forum has no advice for how to deal with his missing bottom half and is just dusty, like literally. like the last half of the sentence was the punchline, not the first half

okay more fun randall facts: he's a huge fucking slut and a massive whore (canon). he has big Karl from Workaholics energy but if Karl was like, disillusioned by the very fabric of life. he's kind of a creepoid in that 2000s way but he's also perfect and i love him so everybody shut the fuck up. there's a running gag that he definitely probably wants to fuck Mark and in the episode where Mark and Randall's ex Krystal (the girl he went zombie for) swap bodies, Mark's like "what am I supposed to do now" and Randall's like "well you can make one of my longtime dreams come true"

anyway i love this gay gay (canonically bisexual) zombie man and i went back and watched season 1 again and he's honestly treated with a lot more queer/trans coding and whatnot than I remember (and also I didn't remember that they just fucking made him bisexual and he says so in season 1 episode 3 so i'm just a big idiot) and I thought I was reinterpreting a bunch of 2000s era gay jokes but nope, randall skeffington trans icon. spends 1/3rd of his time dickless or with no bottom half and inspires us all. has 200000 STDs and a dream.

Also there's this fucking episode where Randall who's from New Jersey goes back to his home town and has to deal with his internlized homophobia (excuse me ZOMBIEPHOBIA) re: small town gays vs big city gays and it's just really fucking real idk idk idk. And you think it's gonna be straight people doing a hamfisted metaphor but at the end of the episode his dad does this:

anyway watch Ugly Americans which ran for 2 seasons on comedy central in fucking 2010

[peninkwrites]

📓!!

OKAY. I've talked about this AU before but I'm gonna go into more detail. It's an AU for this cancelled BBC show about gay zombies called "In the Flesh".

Essential need-to-know about the world:

The Rising happened a few years ago, it was a zombie apocalypse in the sense that everyone who died in the year before crawled out of their graves. Zombies did eat people's brains (and sheep brains) but bites did not "turn" you, there was a finite number of resurrected. Zombies are now treatable, so the dead can go home to their families.

But of course there's mistrust and conflict because the things that were eating people's families are now just waltzing back into society.

As for plot: (some stuff carries over like directly from the show when I say this show was sooo c!Wilbur core. whew)

Wilbur killed himself and was resurrected during the Rising. He's been treated and can now go home to his small town with his family. His family includes his dad Phil, his dad's best friend who moved in with them during the Rising, and his little brother Tommy.

Tommy joined the militia during the Rising. He hates zombies, and he especially hates his brother for abandoning him. Most militias are shut down, but Tommy and some others are still patrolling the woods, killing zombies, and of course led by Dream, who Tommy seriously looks up to. (I'm thinking Sam and Sapnap are also part of the militia, Sapnap stops though once Quackity comes home, Tommy doesn't stop when Wilbur does because he's mad at him) Sam isn't like, bigoted against the resurrected, just obsessed with keeping people safe.

Quackity is also resurrected. He came home from the treatment center to find that his two fiances got married without him (because as far as they were concerned, he was dead, they were trying to live again) but he's still hurt and feels like he doesn't belong there anymore. He's more radical, he doesn't try to hide he's resurrected, so he gets a lot of shit in this tiny town. (Schlatt is a fanatical preacher claiming the resurrected are demons from hell)

Tubbo is new on the town council, assisting Schlatt, but he's not one of the fanatics, instead he's volunteered to serve as a nurse helping the resurrected with their treatments in secret, something that if found out would lose him his job and probably worse. In his rounds, he befriends Ranboo, a resurrected who is desperately trying to hide what he is. He doesn't remember his life before the Rising, and he doesn't have anyone.

Some fucking Insane scenes from the show I intend to carry over:

(SPOILERS for the show in the flesh and this AU if I ever get around to it lmao)

Wilbur disappearing for a few days and scaring the shit out of his family, because the last time that happened, well. Techno goes after him, they have a talk, and when he returns Phil is too calm, so Wilbur goads him into yelling at him so Phil finally breaks down and screams himself hoarse about finding Wilbur's body and carrying him home. Genuinely, the scene from the show is one of my favorites of anything ever.

Quackity is having some tension with Sapnap and Karl, he's resentful, they're unsure. (Okay, in the show, it was this guy who came home to find his wife remarried with his best friend, so polyamory wasn't the solution. I haven't decided if I'm going that route or making it them all being engaged but it still being complicated because Feelings) But basically, Quackity and Karl (maybe Sapnap? I haven't decided) accidentally get locked in a garage. At which point, Quackity's watch starts beeping reminding him he needs his shot. Because the Resurrected Need to have their medicine administered once a day or they Will go rabid again. At which point Quackity is freaking out, he gives Karl a wrench and tells him if he starts acting weird he needs to be ready to bash his skull in, Karl is freaking out because he doesn't want to do this, and at the last second, Sapnap breaks down the door and tackles Quackity to the ground. But after that, Quackity is the one who doesn't feel like he should be there, because he thinks he's too dangerous (that, or I think in the show the guy was arrested and sent back to the treatment center which is so bad, haven't decided yet)

Dream gets pissed off and defensive when Tommy starts to forgive his brother, so he kidnaps Wilbur and drugs him with something that negates the effect of the treatment, hoping he'll go rabid and Tommy will be forced to kill him, but Tommy can't shoot his brother, and Wilbur somehow manages to stop himself from attacking him until. Idk maybe Techno tackles him before someone else can shoot Wilbur.

[the-acid-pear]

Had an exploration based dream that was very wacky and fun if not a bit... Stressful at times.

Readmore because this was longer than i expected:

Like at some point i was sure i had broke my arm so i was trying to make it to the doctor and i was taking buses and walking around but i ended up in my home where i asked my former step father to take me w his car and he didn't believe my arm was broken but agreed anyway. Unfortunately we had to go buy something at the Chinese store and for some reason JJBA Koichi was working there and his job was literally just to stand in the entrance and sing and i was damn what a boring job poor guy. Anyway i wasted a lot of time there until i remembered my ID (i was looking for it bc i needed it for the doctor) wasn't on this Chinese store, it was on my house, so i sprinted across an avenue before realizing that was the wrong way so i tried to sprint back but the light was already changing and my step father no longer was him nor some guy but my actual father and he ended up interfering and not getting mad when i nearly kill myself running into traffic. It was then, however, that i realized that i was fucking lost. And suddenly my dad was gone and it was some friends (idk who) who were with me trying to aid me as i walked the same 4 blocks trying to make sense of where the FUCK i was (worth noting, the places here had become a mash up of all the houses I've lived in, from my childhood to now, which i think it's cute). At some point we ended up in this big white shopping center running around, where i tried to turn on my phone to see if at least w 1% left i could act fast and find my direction written down in the notes app (I'm sure it's there irl btw) but when i found it i couldn't actually understand it so i remained lost.

A little thing i just remembered now is that in between my long runs trying to find my home i accidentally bumped into this asian milf drag queen/trans woman who was holding a picture of Christian Bale as a woman and she was like "SO WHAT?!" and i just turned around slowly and genuinely said "I'm sorry...", feeling legit devastated she couldn't meet her gender expectations 😭😭

Something i am remembering now that also happened in the first half was that during that trip, that was long as fuck, and i was doing w my only remaining irl friend who i see now and then, we were in this subte (underground train, i forgot the English word) station and they were doing some repairs so there was this hole on the ground and there were cats and i jokingly told my friend "imagine they are throwing the cats into the hole" and with the timing of a streamer it was said and done and i was like What The Fuck. But the cats were okay! There was some other treatment that wasn't as okay and i forgot about so i decided to lure the cats away. Didn't keep em because they were too many and i already had cats plus some looked pretty similar to my already owned cats and i was worried i would get confused.

Also relevant thing i forgot earlier to mention, I'm sure i ended up in my step father's house because in the trip i realized I had neither my ID nor charge left on my phone. I wanted to just... Nail it, maybe ask in the medical's office for a charger, but the force orchestrating my dream said 🫵 No.

As for the last part of the dream, it all happened in the white shopping centre where i just started going in circles as this review of Malcom And The Middle, show that i never in my life watched which was reflected in the lack of any characters except the one Cranston is playing, who was also referred to by the actor's name, by a YouTuber who wasn't taking himself that seriously honestly.

Some scenes i remember the best are one where he was sitting in a throne in this ballroom dancing hall, which was HUGE and did make me wonder if it was the same place as the one we were in, where he was cleaning his teeth with these miniature cartoony but living chickens. The place was simultaneously filled and empty because there was a lot of people but also a lot of empty space, felt like an old PS2 or barbie movie. The YouTuber found this scene kind of out of nowhere and just not that funny.

Another notable scene was when the YouTuber started listing similitudes between Brian and Walter White (the classic) and the first ones where so similar my brain didn't even register them but the last one was actually deep and meaningful explaining that the biggest parallel between these two characters was that Brian too was doing all in his power to not raise his children as his father had raised him, which i guess Walter was doing too in this timeline, and scenes of him being all freaked out and neurotic were shown showing that he was trying hard to be good but failing anyway. There was also this clip of him fucking, annihilating a glass of hot cocoa (although the outside made it look like marshmallows 🧐) that was later shown from the bottom of the glass ending w his fucking. Lil throat bell. I was a bit yuckied by it but oh well old shows do be like that.

Worth mentioning too that parallel to this there was this sort of, subplot about some bullies blackmailing and taking advantage of this little kid who was working at the cinema in this place? Something that also happened twice was me walking into a room and my companion going "Kevins... I don't trust us" and throwing a Molotov cocktail, although not hitting anyone, that later happened again w the little exploited boy who said "Bart Room? I don't trust us" and did the same except this time the room was entirely empty.

Anyway dream ended with me not being able to help this little exploited Bart boy or finding my ID nor my home nor getting my arm fixed. Truly a journey about the ride not the destination!

[nathank77]

6/15/24

4:58 p.m Edited/Added to 5:25 p.m

So I slept really well. I mean it took me like 20 minutes or more to fall asleep but I passed out. I stayed asleep until 4:21 p.m.

Last night as I fell asleep the auditory hallucination was really annoying. Saying, "the bussycunt feels." Over and over again. While I listened to American dad. I eventually had to start repeating the dialogue and hum the sounds in my internal monologe to american dad. It was really annoying but nonetheless I fell asleep. And doing that helped cancel out the hallucination.

I had weird dreams, I remember two vividly. The first one was me, my dad, and Katie maybe, playing drinking games at my old house with shot glasses full of white mulberry supplements. I remember taking them the white mulberries when I lost my turn or whatever.

Maybe symbolic of me not being able to be myself/have parties bc I'm, "psychotic." I'm not psychotic. Someone who is psychotic doesn't do all the things I do. I just suffer from auditory hallucinations that's all.

Either way the next dream Katie showed up for me. She had all these cards and kept trying to tell me she realized I was the one. I was so confused by it that I thought she was trying to friend me and tell me she wanted to be my friend. Eventually I realized I wasn't listening to her, really the phrase is hearing her. She was trying to tell me she was in love with me. We got back together. Idk. It was weird. I remember thinking if we get back together everything had to change it can't be the way it was. I wasn't truly happy with her but I was like she's pretty. She's a good person. She's sincere and genuine and better than I will ever find.

I think the dream was symbolic of- how I didn't hear Katie which was true in our relationship. My biggest flaw and a reason we failed. I just missed a lot of what she said like, I always thought she hated glasses so I didn't wear mine when really she hated WIRE framed glasses. Just small stuff like that. A couple times when we were out and I didn't have my glasses she said something like when she saw glasses on the floor outside Walmart, "I was worried they were yours." And another time she said something about them when i wasn't wearing them bc I never wore them in front of her for the most part but it was kinda like wear your glasses.

Either way the dream was def symbolic of that bc she kept having to tell me she loved me. That she wanted to be with me and I kept hearing I don't love you. I think it was also symbolic of her not being the right girl for me but if I could find someone like her- someone pretty, someone kind, someone who is genuine, sincere, etc. That I should, "settle," bc it's better than I'll ever get.

I didn't settle on Katie in a lot of ways. I only settled in one way when we stopped having sex for the last 2 years and she wouldn't even rub my buzzcut or touch my hand, I should have left but I believed that was the type of love I deserved. That that was as good as it was going to get for me. She did take care of me. She loved me. She lost her attraction to me. But yea I settled in that regard kinda like I did on Stacey. Stacey wouldn't have sex with me more than 6 times in 3 or 4 years. And we were not made for eachother. Stacey also said cruel transphobic things to hurt me and I felt that I deserved it and it was the best I was ever going to find as a trans person.

Katie just fell out of love with me but still cared deeply and it was hard for her to leave. She was and is a much better person.

Anyways I woke up so late the car wash is unrealistic. So maybe I'll go before my dad's. I asked skye when she was leaving fucking 12 p.m yea right. So I'll drive there. Idk about the car wash. I do have to do the sleeping pill tonight/today so I don't have to tomorrow.

Idk if I'm going to game or not. I wake up so exhausted. I want to clean another bin skye left me in the hallway but then I'm going to fucking go wild and accomplish some big fucking thing so yea. I am going to hold myself back. The hardest thing imma do today is the sleeping pill and that's it.

I should game I'm just sick of my brain having a hallucination party first thing in the morning it's very frustrating and makes me not want to play or be alive. I want to die every morning I wake up and hear all the same shit.

I still have no luck on okcupid or any other dating site. I mean, it's whatever I accepted, I'll live a life of loneliness I'm surrounded by toxic people bc it's what I deserve. I don't deserve good people. I won't settle though so there is that. I wouldn't take Katie back if the option existed bc we weren't good together in the right ways.

Anyways hopefully I game today and I hope the sleeping pill thing doesn't entirely suck. I mean I'm glad I took the bigger half last night I slept better and didn't have any scream hallucinations and I didn't have any thoughts as auditory hallucinations in my head so it was the right move. Much less traumatizing.

[bohemianwriter]

What brings this up is tonight my daughter is coughing. I have woken up almost every time. I came in once to check on her and a second time to lay with her. No one should be left alone when they are sick or scared. The trauma of not having my needs met in any way. Screaming at Aris age for my mom who never came. They ignored me! How could you?! How dare you! Ignoring a crying child. For your own benefit? Amusement?

It’s hard to rewrite everything you know or have seen and to show up like the parent I always wanted to have. How can I do this without a role model? I just know. I feel it. Our bond and our connection I have to go to her. It’s not a choice. To think how badly I was nurtured is a hard pill to swallow. Not only was I not supported but expected to support my parents and perform 110%. At 7.

I got a playroom with dozens of toys but no one to play with. I had to sneak around my father who was a complete brute. My mother was unstable at best. I never knew which mom I would get. The loving one or the triggered one. It was almost like well my baby died and this one will never live up. I even named her after the dead baby. Great. What in the fucking projection shit is that? My dad only did it to keep my mom around. I always felt “tolerated” not loved. The support I got was to make them look good. The adopted daughter that look turned out so successful. We saved her. No you didn’t. I might have been better off in an orphanage. At least I might have had support from the other orphans and friends. That’s how I always saw Oliver Twist or the Little princess and I’d dream and pray for the day my REAL mom would show up and take me away from this torturous place. She would scoop me up and take me to her beautiful home. I’m loved and wanted. I have smart siblings who love to laugh as much as me. It’s hard to live in reality when you’ve been fantasizing your whole life. I could never imagine my daughter feeling that way. And eventually probably around the time I started skating, I had given up the idea. So for about 10 years we just fought. I knew I wasn’t being treated right and became my own parent and best friend. This was especially true in middle school. A time when kids need the most support my parents turned their back on me. They should have never made me stay there for more than a year seeing how unhappy I am. If Ari came home crying from school every day I’d have meetings with her teachers and principal. I’d switch her schools immediately or let her be homeschooled. There is nothing to be learned in an environment like that except survival. And my mom kept me looking ugly. She liked it. She was always envious of my weight so instead of fattening me up she starved me. Literally. The saddest part. I never got to do fun things. I remember one spring break they told me we’d do stuff every day I’d wait at the office all day and then after I fixed and ate my own lunch alone I figured out we were going and that happened the entire break. I didnt get my birthday celebrated. And then after that the next year I didn’t even ask to do anything. This disappointing feeling was worse. It meant I still had hope these people I’m stuck with would take a genuine interest. Then when I started skating and saw the cost and how they were not going to support me regardless of my passion and talents. Pretty sure my dad only went to the competitions to spy on young girls. Not even joking. It was intuition. And a feeling that I still remember to this day. A pervert or predator it doesn’t matter. It was wrong. He never took me to class. Never asked my coach how to train. He didn’t help except financially but sometimes it felt like they threw money at me so they didn’t have to deal with me.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #170

Give us a lyric from a song you’ve recently listend to: I'm listening to "Slum Planet" by 3TEETH right now and the lyric just said was "no one wins in this human race."

Why did you cry the last time you did? I learned about diabetic comas and started fearing that one day it'll happen to Mom while she's asleep with how violently her blood sugar plummets. My anxiety was so fucking bad that night, I had so much trouble falling asleep.

Have you donated blood in the last 2 years? No, but I actually plan on doing it with Girt this Sunday, it completely depends on what my blood pressure is at the time of the appointment; it's almost always alarmingly low EVERY time I get it checked, like it's just normal for me (partially because of a med), so there is a very real chance of me being turned down. But I'm still going with him regardless though, he loves when he gets the chance to do it (drives are coincidentally almost always on work days for him lol) and I fucking love that.

What is your relationship with the last person to comment you? Like, on a social media? Facebook is telling me Ashley, my boyfriend's sister.

Who was the last person to sit on your bed? Me, I still do certain physical therapy exercises lying and sitting on it.

Do you have a favorite flower? Orchids, pink tulips (I don't really care about non-pink ones that much), dahlias, hydrangeas, roses, etc. I just adore flowers.

Would you rather be stuck on a desert island with your ex or a python? HA give me the fucking python, at least the snake won't make me feel like literal trash. Besides, a python is not going to be able to eat me and with that fact it'd have no interest in bothering me, and I'd leave it alone too. Don't villainize snakes.

Name three objects within your reach? My water bottle, planner, and Girt's work schedule for like an entire year lmao. He gave it to me for the convenience of planning hanging out days and I think he also knows I just like knowing where he is, especially if my anxiety is high and I can't immediately reach him.

Would you get a shamrock tattooed to your forehead for $5,000? Gah, that money is FUCKING TEMPTING, but I just couldn't.

Where was the last place you went that was more than an hour away? Why were you going there? A city two hours away that is where Girt's grandmother is at a nursing home. We were celebrating her birthday; that day wasn't her actual birthday, but it's a day that worked for the family to get together. It meant a lot to be there, because odds are it was her last.

Who was the last person to tell you you looked nice? Girt, I think?

Do you know a schizophrenic person? Girt's mother, and I know of my schizophrenic half-sister.

Name the last 3 people you kissed and list one nice thing about each one. Girt is very polite, Sara was very creative, and Tyler, uh... he was sweet?

Are you friends with a Conner? No, I don't even know one.

What is the last thing you spoke to your father about? He sent me a picture of his cat Louie chilling with a deer in he and his wife's backyard. I'm against letting your cat free-roam outdoors, but regardless it was very cute and I said so. He was just sitting chilling while the deer grazed.

Ever suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder? I literally have it, yeah.

During which year of your life were you the most unhappy? I genuinely don't think any hell a god could make could be worse than what 2016 was for me. Every waking moment I wanted to be dead, and when I slept my dreams were always the same: extremely painful and focused on Jason and how we'd never be what we were again.

Have you ever seen a bluejay in person? Yes, I love them. I used to collect bluejay feathers while I dated Jason actually, because his nickname from his dad was always "J Bird," and I called him that sometimes too.

Who is the most energetic and happy person you know of? My nephew Ryder.

Who makes you smile the most often? Girt.

Do you remember the first person you felt sexually attracted to? In a completely serious context, Jason.

Of all of your friends’ significant others, who do you get along with best? And least? I don't really know my friends' s/os, at least not on a personal level.

Have you ever had a platonic friend that everyone insisted you should be in a relationship with? YUP, GIRT. Finally happened lmao, bomb-ass decision.

Who do you think is the most attractive actor? Probably Jason Momoa lmao, or Johnny Depp.

Have you ever been caught doing something REAL embarrassing by your parents? LOL SURE HAVE AND I WANTED TO PASS AWAY

Do you have any of your neighbors as friends on Facebook? No.

You can only listen to 1 band for the rest of your life, who do you pick? so like...... Rammstein, surprise lmfao

When was the last time you felt like your heart was actually breaking? Many months ago when I was pretty convinced Girt was going to leave and I was going to relive the Jason breakup, just with him. I was fucking hysterical, this guy had to hold me as I probably broke his eardrums scream-crying for like, 15 full minutes. The feeling I had in my chest was more awful than I could ever put into words.

Who was the last person you cried in front of? Probably Mom?

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Girt.

Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? Yes, in a couple instances where I was mad.

Do you know anyone who has fought in a war? Jason's dad was in the Navy, but idk if he was ever in a combat situation. I know Girt's dad fought in Operation Desert Storm.

Name ONE good memory about your last ex? I very much felt like I could be 200% myself around her.

Do you live near any large rivers or lakes? Yeah, the Tar River is really long, and I live in an area where you regularly cross smaller bridges over it.

Would it annoy you if a stranger called you "sweetie?" This very much depends. I'd say generally no, I tend to like terms of endearment, but if it's some creepy guy that seems very suspect, I'd be uncomfortable.

What's the worst thing you've gone through in the past year? Letting go of and healing from an extremely rotten friendship. Deciding enough was enough with Sara was so fucking not an easy decision, it was fucking excruciating and involved so much hurt, and I regularly questioned if I was a horrible person.

What's the next friend or family birthday coming up? Will you buy them a present? Literally tomorrow is my sister Ashley's 30th, and no, but only because I don't have a source of income. I can't get anything for family and it fucking sucks.

How many beds are in your home? Two in the traditional sense, however we do have a couch that can fold out into a bed. Not a very comfortable one, but it's a bed.

Do you wear face masks in public? I no longer do, not because I don't believe in the effectiveness of masks (because they fucking are effective), but because I think like most people, I've just given up on the concept of us ever getting Covid under control; it's going to be in the human population for probably as long as we live now. A new type of flu, basically. I would wear a mask though if I was sick with Covid-esque symptoms, that's just basic consideration for other humans.

Have you ever gotten back together with an ex? Only Girt; the first time we dated briefly at the end of 2017 I just wasn't ready to be with a man again. I had walls that weren't coming down.

What month of the year was your mother born? August.

Who do you feel most beautiful around? My mom.

Have you ever had a friend that got a bf/gf, and then completely ignored you? Yes, what a coincidence, I was thinking of her last night. We were online friends with a long, very tight friendship, but one day her accounts that I knew of were just gone, and this was very near the time she started dating some guy.

Who is the smartest person you know? Girt.

If your friend asked you to hold their drugs, would you? Hell no.

The last two people you kissed, are they virgins? Girt's not, Sara was when I knew her, no clue about now.

How did you and your significant other celebrate your last anniversary? We just hung out at my house.

Do you know anyone who owns their own business? Yes, more than one person.

What was the last thing that changed your life completely? Going to physical therapy. I am so fucking happy with all the progress that is still happening, standing is by now generally only uncomfortable versus actually painful. I'm standing more in real-life situations that prove to me how much better my legs have gotten.

What do you normally drink when eating at a fast food restaurant? Usually either Mountain Dew or Coke.

What was the last thing you saw that made you smile? A really cute picture of two of my nieces; Aubree was being an adorable big sister.

Who was the last person you took a photograph with? My niece and sisters.

Did you like the show Invader Zim? Surprisingly I never really watched it, I just thought Gir was cute.

What’s the scariest book you’ve ever read? I've never been scared by a book.

What does your best friend love that you hate? Extremely hard games that generally require hours and hours of failing regularly to get good at it, nameably FromSoft games; I'm quite sure Girt's platinumed/100%ed all of them lmao, meanwhile I couldn't even get to the FIRST BOSS of Bloodborne myself haha, I suck at those games SOOOOOOOOOOO bad. My head nearly exploded when I tried Dark Souls, like I quit pretty damn fast because once a game reaches a certain level of difficulty for me, shit's not fun anymore. Meanwhile Girt's hardheaded as HELL and really gets satisfaction out of figuring out challenges, so FromSoft makes some stuff he really enjoys. What sucks is I LOVE watching the games be played, like Elden Ring is one of the greatest video games ever made in all of history imo, I just don't have the patience for those of its sort as a player. Video games are Girt's "thing" though that he's just super fucking good at.

How well do you know the people you live with? I know my mom very well, and we've been closer than ever lately. I feel our already-strong bond has strengthened quite a bit just from sitting out in the living room with her during dinner more often. She confides in me with a lot of things and has told me how much she appreciates me just listening.

When was the last time you had a conversation with an ex? A few weeks ago with Juan, if you even wanna count him as an ex when we dated for less than a day.

Ever cried while you were on the phone with the last person you kissed? No, we basically never call each other. He's mentioned wanting to but knows I hate phone calls and I'm like you're obviously an exception dude but yeah we don't really talk-talk via the phone.

Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? I have two Cloak shirts, a brand owned by Markiplier and jacksepticeye, and one features the Randler and cockatrice used as symbols for Good Mythical Morning/Rhett & Link.

Do either of your parents have tattoos? No, but my mom wants one based around her kids and grandkids.

For your birthday do people buy you a cake or bake you one? Usually buy.

If your boy/girlfriend wanted to have a sex change, would you support them? Sure would, I'm pansexual anyway so it wouldn't remove my sexual feelings for that person. Like sure it'd obviously be a massive change, requiring adjustments like getting pronouns right, but he/she would have my full support if they felt a sex change would improve their happiness.

What do you think of cannibals? It's gross. I think eating your own species, at least for such developed animals like humans who have consciences that allow us to put meaning into BEING a human, is morally questionable.

[heavenlymemoir]

Dina Memories

TW: contains talk of abusive behaviors, PTSD episodes, s//cide and s//f h/rm mentions!

Ellie was mean. She was very…abusive with me and JJ. I don’t know what changed her.

We would often get into verbal fights over her obsession with “revenge” for Joel. I would beg and plead for her to not leave. She would insist that I was being a “dramatic bitch” and that I had to be working in secret with Abby. She would…hit me. A lot.

I didn’t know what to do. I had nobody to turn to, nowhere to go. So I let her do what she wanted. Unless she wanted to go for JJ. I remember her stomping off to his little room, and I remember getting out of my seat so fast and yanking her hair to stop her. She started crying and called me abusive. That was the first and only time I laid my hands on her.

She would often belittle me for not allowing her to hurt JJ. She exclaimed how she could never fathom herself being in love with a pathetic man like Jesse and how I’m rotten for letting him die. How JJ’s a bastard kid; that he deserves to have the same death as his pathetic dad. It hurt. Everything she said hurt me. So much.

Every time we got into an argument and she realized I wasn’t “mentally here”, she would threaten to hurt JJ. I won’t go into details about the specifics, but she was detailed enough to make me mentally check back in. She did this so I could be “in the moment”, so she could watch my pained expressions or hear my cries.

Whenever I would call her out on this shit, she would claim and I quote, “I have no memory of that. You either are fucking lying to me or you hit me so badly that I can’t recall anything.” She would break down about how her PTSD affected her and our relationship. I…I genuinely felt bad. I felt so fucking bad for her. She had it rough. But…it never excused what she did to me.

She would have multiple PTSD episodes like the game portrays. I had to stop her from multiple suicide attempts, multiple self harm attempts, and multiple attempts to either harm/kill me or JJ.

Just like in-game; she left to go find Abby and kill her. And as such, I packed my shit along with JJ’s, and we left. We left it all to go back to the camp in Jackson. Everyone was confused as to why I came back and who’s kid I had. I explained everything.

Maria asked what the marks were. I broke down. I just couldn’t. I couldn’t speak. They let me calm down and I told them. Everything. About me being pregnant with Jesse’s kid, about Ellie and Abby, about it all. I told everyone about Ellie’s abusive tendencies. I asked that if she ever stopped by the camp, I wanted them all to never allow her inside or around me or even mention I was here. They were to act as if I never came back and presumed I was still with her.

Everyone was shocked to hear how she changed.

I just wanted the old Ellie back. The one who revered Joel. The one who told me the little bits of Joel’s secrets and past times. What he loved to do with her to pass the time. The cheesy and corny movies they liked. Her dreams and aspirations. I wanted nothing more than that Ellie to come back. But I would never get that. She was gone. Too far gone to be saved.

[silasbug]

dream log Nr. -011

28/03/2022 (extracted from a chat, unstructured)

I had the same thing happen (I realized I was half conscious, lying on my back with my arms outstretched scratching them gently for a weird sensation, this has happened a bunch of times before and its super weird), but I remember my dream weirdly

I had.. 3 dreams but I remember 2, I was so focused on remembering the first 2 I forgot the one I just woke up from xd

1. It was in this super weird kind of overworld, on one hand it looked very much like a desert outside of some gates, with big dunes, but the sky looked like shattered glass in places, like a big glass dome. I was a young black boy in some kind of school class. I remember my teacher giving us this page from a magazine that had some kind of "find the hidden word and win a prize!" kind of thing that she wanted us to try for so we did, and I got the right answer so we sent it in along with a few others. The prize was a dress so my teacher told me if I win it, as a reward she will take me to some kind of theatre performance or concert so long as I am wearing the cute black dress (didnt matter what gender I was so no in the dream it didnt matter that I was a boy). I kind of also had a girlfriend (she looked like Zendaya), and suddenly it was my birthday. My in-dream gf had apparently actually given me the word and realized she made some spelling errors and got super super mad at herself, super down, kinda broke up with me because she was so upset she gave me a wrong answer and disappeared into the desert. I was sooooo upset because apparently a bunch of people had also just kind of forgotten about me and my gf just left me on my bd in this shitty world.

So I also just disappeared into the desert. HOWEVER, my gf started feeling so bad about it she returned, but I was already gone. And it turned out I subconsciously fixed the mistake, or there was no mistake at all, and I had won the cute black dress (it arrived from the sky in a red U-Ei Pill kind of capsule). Frantically she and others began looking for me (suddenly she was huge, like a giant with long legs walking through the desert) but I was already gone, hidden behind a big dune with some old broken down temple structures (kind of like the Ayleid Ruins in ESO). I remember a scene where I did sit in the black dress in a big crowd with my teacher for a performance, but I think that was my imagination for what would happen if I won. Then I woke up to scratching my arm.

2. I was living in a house. For some fucking reason I was Billie Eilish. There were some other actors, but in my dream somehow my dad was a buffer & attractive version of  Jeremy Renner (I genuinely can't stand his face or acting, da klappen mir die Zehnägel hoch), I also somewhat had a crush on my dad (wtf??) and some other actors were also in the household and a blond one was my mother kind of? It was really weird. ANYWAYS, the issue of the dream was that we lived in a two-story house (with a basement where the dream began, but I dont remember what happened there), white, with a small non-balcony landing in front of my second-story bedroom that I could access by opening my window and climbing out. It stretched the whole face of the back of the house so another window also made it accessible. One day I noticed that through my window, the sun projected a yellow H onto my pillow. I was super confused so I looked out of my window and noticed that next to my window, a few yellow H's had been spraypainted in a row going down, not sideways. I was freaked out because that wasnt my doing so ran to daddy Renner and told him about it. I rested my head on the armrest of the couch while looking at his face for comfort (lol). The groundfloor of the house had no actual windows (only fake ones you saw from outside) and so it was a weird blue light in there.

After I felt reassured I went back upstairs to go aleep (a day had passed) and just as I was about to close my eyes, something was off again. There was spraypaint on my pillow (I had left the window auf kipp), so I yelled for daddy Renner and went backoutside, only to see that suddenly, the H has been continued, but in smaller stroked and blue paint, what it said somehow sounded very Shakespearean Play like, and I was so confused, daddy Renner was trying to calm me down & I turned my back to the wall, leaned against it and suddenly felt the flow of spraypaint in my back. When I turned back there was more writing (but going vertically along the wall instead of horizontally) and I asked him if there was spraypaint on my back where I had felt it, and there was a small spot. The vertical words weirdly actually spelled shit like "llloolllololooooollloooloo" and more words, so different from the more cohesive horizontal ones. I felt like I was going crazy and said sth like "WHAT IF ITS ME, WHAT IF IM THE BAD GUY"

I was sooo goddamn freaked out but I decided to google the words because they felt familiar and like they had a beat (why I thought that was beyond me) and lo and behold! It was APPARENTLY lyrics from a Billie Eilish Song, and despite being her, that was still a different Billie. I just got more confused and daddy Renner looked concerned when SUDDENLY a fucking flash-mob appeared in our fenced in garden. They just started dancing while shouting the lyrics so we were like "what the FUCK" and apparently they had spraypainted the lyrics on our top-floor wall so they could remember and follow the lines and to them that seemed like such a norm and understandable thing but I was just kinda standing there traumatized by a sudden flashmob dancetroupe in my damn backyard while daddy Renner got super angry, jumped down and chased them off.

They were all somehow the same black man in a red, white and black tracksuit with a sweatband around the forehead. Also Renner kept flexing in the dream lmao

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

OFF WITH YOUR HEAD

PART 2 OF HEADS WILL ROLL

SYNOPSIS: Whenever school is in session, Eren will just keep finding new places to corner you.

PAIRING: BULLY! EREN x FEM! READER

DEDICATED TO: you guys, always you guys.

WARNINGS: unedited, slight dubcon, groping, degradation, bullying,

WORD COUNT: 2.4K

Gooooood Morning Paradis Birds! Remember to give a big round of applause to the football team for clutching the victory against reigning champion Marley High! We stay undefeated thanks to our excellent and hardworking team. Special shoutout to Captain Eren Yeager for guiding the team to another flawless victory-

You're half-heartedly paying attention to class, sleepily listening to the school announcements over the speaker until the mention of his name douses you like a shock of ice-cold water.

You can't catch the rest of the announcement because your class erupts into cheer, enthusiastically clapping their hands for the boy of the hour.

The only one not joining is you.

Eren's smile is brighter than 100 kilowatts. In the back of your mind, you wonder where he learned to smile like that. When his emotions became so practiced.

Mr.Berner tries to calm the kids down, especially Sasha who bangs on her desks and howls, creating even more hype and ruckus. The class, now in a chattier mode, excitedly breaks into little conversations.

"Man, thank god. That school is so pretentious, I'm glad we finally have something over them."

"Jeez, I know our team was good, but it's this good-?"

"-Bro, year of XXXX is stacked as fuck. It's literally never been this stacked before. We have a whole team of prodigies, it's insane-especially Eren. "

"Yepp. My dad went to Paradis too and he said shit like this never happened during his time. The academic comps were one thing, but these footballs wins? We're being put on the fucking map."

The announcements are still going on, but it's hard to hear over the noise. You're only able to catch the tail end, a useless tidbit about the word of the day.

pre·mo·ni·tion a strong feeling that something is about to happen, especially something unpleasant. Here is an example: "She had a premonition of imminent disaster" Have a good day folks, hope it's free of any premonitions!

Overhearing the unceasing praise of the boy who pinched your thighs until they bruise blue and purple was a little painful-but you were used to it. After all, he's putting Paradis on the map. Whatever the fuck that means.

While you didn't love sharing this class with him, he was seated far across the room and surrounded by a gaggle of friends. You might as well have been invisible, the way he did not acknowledge you. Maybe you should treat it as a small mercy.

Unwittingly, your eyelids grow heavy. You're sitting in the back of the class, no one would notice if you took a little nap right? Assured by the fact no one will notice, you lower your head into your folded arms and let your thoughts float.

You dream of vaguely nothing but shadows of smiles, tufts of dark hair, and the smell of the wind at sea until a noise confined to the shape of your name breaks the harmony.

"[y/n?]"

"[y/n?]"

You startle awake with pairs of eyes piercing their gazes at you. Swallowing thickly, you apologize to Mr.Berner who looks worried. He's a good teacher, and one of your favorites.

"I'm sorry Mr.Berner. I had a migraine so I laid my head down." You lie smoothly, with more grace than you knew you were capable of. Course, you could have just said you were taking an unprompted nap, but that would disappoint your lovely teacher.

He sighs, "Guess that can't be helped then. Go to the nurse ok?"

Bingo. The nurse was an understanding lady, she'd let you sleep the rest of the period off. You nod, and start to gather your materials, relieved the class' attention on you was beginning to dwindle.

"Wait, Mr.Berner, let me take her. What if she gets disoriented and falls in the hall?"

Fuuuuck. You should have known. You should have expected this because attached to the request dripping with faux concern was none other than the precious jewel of the kingdom. Eren's intrusion makes your peers perk up again at the scene unfolding in front of them.

You smile, lips tightly pressed, "I'll be fine. I don't want to distract anyone from the lesson and it's a short walk-

"It's still potentially dangerous.", Your teacher interrupts, pinching the bridge of the nose, "And while I'm completely surprised by Eren's sudden streak of altruism, he's right. Something could happen. He'll take you there safely."

A very convenient streak of altruism, all right. You think it over in your head, yeah the nurses' office is right down the hall, and once you're there, he'll leave. Sure, he'll taunt you but you can handle a few minutes worth of cruelty.

It's awkward getting up, and walking in front of the class while Eren props the door open like a gentleman. You know what a sharp contrast it must look like, you and him, you cowering into yourself, not meeting any eyes while he stands tall and confident.

"Do you have everything?" His tone is one of reassurance, and for the barest of the moments, feels too familiar. You know he's not being genuine right now, and for the first time, you question if he was genuine back then.

"You can hold onto my arm if you're too dizzy to walk." He says as you guys slip out of the classroom, purposefully a little too loudly. You hear coos from girls and a stray "She's so lucky!"

He must have heard it too, because he lowers his head to whisper into your ear, "Yeah, very lucky, aren't you?" Wisps of dark hair tickle your cheeks. You see the glint of tiny silver hoops and wonder when he had gotten his ears pierced. The illusion breaks and the performative charming prince's reassuring smile is replaced by a sneer.

"Didn't know you could lie like that, by the way. Some good girl you are if you're trying to ditch class like this." Fingers dig deep into your waist as he drags you along the empty hallway that seems to stretch on for miles.

Your breath gets stuck in your throat, "How did you know I was lying?"

Viridian eyes narrow, "I've seen you get migraines before." There's a knock on your heart. As if realizing he was talking about something far away ago, a vindictive edge laces into words pouring out of his mouth, "I bet you wanted this to happen, didn't you? Wanted to get us all alone."

He's trying to get a rise out of you, that much is obvious. So you ignore him to the best of your ability.

...which quickly proved to be futile, as you suddenly find your arm pinned to your back, and your front facing the nearest walls.

"I asked you a fucking question bitch." He's practically growling, "Fucking answer me."

If there was a world record for the shortest temper, best believe Eren Yeager will have collected that accolade too. He's getting too worked up, and you could definitely feel his harness poking the back on your ass, as he grinds into you.

You manage to crane your neck, wanting to have your face shoved into the wall, and then venomously spit out, "You're not looking for answers. You just want me to repeat whatever you think is true."

This position brings back flashbacks to the library when he caged you in against the bookshelves, and like then, he spins you around to face him quite abruptly.

His smile is full of sharp teeth, "No. I know I'm right."

You don't respond. He moves in closer, his breath fanning on your earlobes. Your body can't help but let an involuntary shudder, and you close your eyes, not wanting to see his pleased grin or the way the fluorescent light makes his hoops gleam like silver bullets.

One calloused finger flicks your nipple, "Do you want to know why I'm right?"

At your lack of response, the dark-haired boy rolls your nipple in between his fingers before pinching it painfully, eliciting a small whimper out of your fuckable lips. "N-no", you answer finally. You're wearing your thinnest bra because of the seasonal heat, and you can't help but regret that decision right now. The fact he's only paying attention to one of your nipples is driving you insane. Not that you want it, but you're so fucking sensitive right now. You struggle in his hold, causing him to hold you tighter, and by now his nails were probably embedded into your skin.

He chuckles at your honesty, rewarding you with a thick stripe of his tongue over the collared shirt of your uniform making you gasp. Did he just-, over your shirt too-, you look down and see a very visible wet spot.

Taking advantage of your distracted state, a eager hand snakes under your skirt until it settles in the middle of your panties. He licks your earlobe before speaking, his voice like ice under your heels.

"You were so fucking wet that day in the library while saying you hated me the entire time," he pauses as his fingers scissor you through your panties, as if to drive the message home, "About as wet as you are right now."

There's a wet spot there too, also caused by him. You crush your eyes shut, "Eren...please just take me to the nurse." You're not even struggling anymore, holding onto him out of your own accord, worried that if you don't hold onto anything-you'd fall on your knees.

The very headache you lied about having seemed not so non-existent after all.

Eren hooks his arms under the plush of your thighs, "Yeah. Of course, that's what I came to do, right?"

*

You had hoped you'd be granted a reprieve in the nurses' office but you'd forgotten that luck was never really in your favor. Because while you guys had entered the squeaky-clean office, the nurse was nowhere in sight.

Instead, a note sat on her desk in unassuming frilly cursive that Eren read with glee.

Sorry students! Minor emergency to take care of, and I'll be back by the middle of the next period. If you're badly hurt, see Mr.Ackerman in room 203. If not, just sit tight! Feel free to take up the beds.

Thank you,

Ms.Ral

Eren had turned to you with shining green eyes, "Since no one's here, I guess I'll have to keep you company. Don't want you to hurt yourself."

There was something claustrophobic about how Eren stood in front of the door as if to signify to get out of here, you had to get through him.

"Maybe I can get Mr.Ackerman..."

Eren's sudden bout of laughter makes you wince and retreat inside of yourself, "For what? A fake headache? You really wanna inconvenience him like that? Mr.Ackerman?"

You take slow steps backward until the back of your knees hit the school bed, making you stumble as you clumsily take a seat. Eren's been marching forward with every retreating step you took, and it's no surprise when he pushes you down the bed, strong hands on the side of your head, while his muscular legs force your thighs apart so he can settle himself in between.

"We have some time to kill, you know." Strands of dark hair fall into his eyes, and without thinking, you reach upwards to brush them aside.

He grips your wrist before you make it that far, nearly gritting out a "What are you doing?"

You just stare, not really knowing why that was your impulse either. Finally, you mouth out, "I want you to leave Eren."

The grip on your wrist is tighter than ever, and you very well know that you're going to have new finger-shaped bruises before the old ones even finish healing.

"And I want to stay." He punctuates each word slowly, and all you can think is how being pinned to a bed is much less painful than having the hard surface of wood digging onto your back.

You're fully aware of the heat in your core, and having Eren on top of you doesn't make this it any easier because fuck, he is attractive. Maddeningly so. And maybe you want him to go away so bad because you're afraid that if his fingers are caught inside of you, you'll thank him for it.

As if reading your mind, he lets go of your wrist (making a mental note of your sluggish movements and slipping resistance) and massages your warm hole from your panties.

"Eren please" You grit out. He merely chuckles, "What are you asking for, whore?"

You could feel tears threatening to fall. This was so embarrassing. Did you want this? Yes, yes. yes, yes. You were so wet right now and had enough of the teasing.

He alternated his kneading from slow and soft to fast and rough, and you couldn't help but let out the prettiest little moans Eren's ever heard. Since you lose all pretenses of resistance, his other hand roughly brushes against your hardened nipples, straining against the fabric of your shirt.

Okay, he decided. He's going to make you beg.

"Beg." It's announced like a command, and while you hear it, you don't really register it because your hips are busy chasing the heat, and it's all too much of an utter disappointment when his long thin fingers leave.

"I said beg slut."

"Eren, please, please. I need you so bad." You're blubbering and you don't care. You just want his pretty fingers to shove aside your panties and rub against your folds. You think back to the library, how wet you were, how the stupid fucking phone call from his coach interrupted him pumping his fingers inside of you. And you didn't know if you were happy or mad he left. But now, all you crave is the blissful wave of pleasure- the very pleasure he's been denying you.

Eren looks down at you, green eyes scrutinizing. After a long while of what it seems to be him just staring, he wipes his fingers on your skirt, brushes back his hair with a wayward hand.

"Looks like I should head back to class. See you later."

Too numb to say anything, you watch him leave with a smirk on his face. When you're sure he's walked away, you curl into yourself and cry.

[atsumuahh]

“ SECRET LOVER ” dreamwastaken

characters !

dreamwastaken, wilbur’s twin!reader, technoblade, philza, tommyinnit, wilbur soot, karl, sapnap, georgenotfound, drista, tubbo.

summary !

when reader chooses the dsmp high everything seems to be great, but things gets complicated when her brand new crush turns out to be her oldest brother’s rival. it gets even more complicated when he asks her out.

warnings !

swear words, usage of dream’s real name

notes !

dream as a football team captain rent free in my head... and i’m also sorry that it took me so long to write… its almost 3k words and not proofread!

taglist !

@wilczachannn

it was easy to assume that you had been in your brothers’ shadows. techno, wilbur and tommy were talented, football players with great, great achievements. the only thing you wanted was a big change in your life, so when you graduated from the middle school and it came up to making a big decision on choosing high school, you chose the dsmp high – school located an hour away from your house.

you remember your first day at school. the day started awfully. tommy woke you up with a loud yell at – as you rightly guessed – wilbur, who stole his phone and texted to his crush. it turned out that you had twenty minutes left to get ready and leave for bus and not be late. well... you were late on the bus, but thankfully your dad promised he’ll drop you off at school.

phil couldn’t be more proud of you. for real, he knew how hard it was for you to choose different school from techno, wilbur and tommy (everyone know he’ll go after his brothers). you were miserable through your whole middle school, because no one ever noticed you as your own person, only as wilbur’s twin sister, techno’s younger sibling or the only sister of tommy. it cause you to slowly losing yourself and becoming a female version of your brothers. so when you spoke to him about the idea of the dsmp high, he couldn’t get happier.

fortunately, dad dropped you off fifteen minutes before your first period started. wandering around the new school, looking for people you had classes with. you looked at your phone and accidentally bumped into a tall, dirty blonde guy with painted nails and purple sweater.

“oh no- i’m so sorry!” he spoke kind of afraid he might hurt you. “you alright?” a worried ask left his mouth as he put a hand on your shoulder.

it turned out that his name is karl and you took same classes as him. well in fact the boy seemed to be pretty nice, chill and funny. you two were on your way to the biology class and jokes were in the air. you felt so delightful that you messaged wilbur and techno a small text saying you just made your first friend. as no one responded you hid your phone.

“don’t worry, bestie.” he beamed at you. “i’ll meet you with my other friends, if that’s okay. they’ll love you and you won’t have to worry about making ones!” karl whispered into your ear and you couldn’t hide a soft smile that formed on your face.

as he said, he did. it was your lunch pause so he led you to the cafeteria. the idea of sitting at the table with people you didn’t know was.. terrifying but at the same time, so exiting. you felt like your heart skipped a beat when a guy called dream showed up with his best friends george and sapnp.

he was so handsome that you couldn’t take your eyes off him. looking at him was just so pleasing that you were kinda mad that he was karl’s friend so you couldn’t really sigh over him. surprisingly, he turned out to be a nice guy as well. you expected dream to be a completely jerk and an arsehole, but well you started to feel like you’d fall for him.

well… you were right. you fell for clay so deeply that just being around him was… stressing you out. he always cared about you, through your whole freshman year he was so cute and it was hard not to fall.

sophomore year started in a very… unexpected way. you hadn’t seen your friends in weeks, because you have lived so far away, but it didn’t make your brand new friends group to fall apart. you wouldn’t be so surprised if they organized a meet after classes but… well it was a meet, but only with clay. in a shortcut – he took you on a date.

“i missed you so much, y/n/n” he smiled as he shyly took your hand and intertwined your fingers with his. a small, timid smile formed on your blushed face. “fuck… i like you, i have a huge ass crush on you, okay? i-i just don’t wanna mess up our friendship… so please tell me if you don’t feel same” clay spoke with shaking voice, not giving you a sight.

maybe it was the adrenaline that boosted you up, or your inner self just wanted to do it, but as his confession ended, your lips gentlt pressed his. clay was… well shocked is a good word, clay was shocked, but he pulled you in even closer and that’s how you ended up making out in the park.

you were thrilled to the gills and you almost told your brothers about clay. almost, because you heard techno’s talking about a match against the dsmp high. well it wouldn’t be such a big thing if you hadn’t heard dream, and well oh well. words weren’t too nice.

“hi… are you free?” you said softly, sitting on your bed. you were frightened – what if they don’t like each other? what if… wilbur and tommy also don’t like him? “you know techno, right? technoblade minecraft?” a quiet ask left your mouth as you sat under the tree in your yard.

“yes, unfortunately.” his response made you thought that you had annoyed him. “wait, why you’re asking? did he hurt you or something?” dream didn’t let you answer as he added i’m gon’ kill him under his breathe.

“noo, don’t worry” you clutched your head and sighed. “he’s… my brother, older brother, actually”. silence between you two were clearly killing you, but you couldn’t be one to break it. he had to say something.

“oh my fuck” you heard his shocked voice and chuckled in response. “it doesn’t matter. you’re the one i fell in love with, not he. i know you’re worried, but everything will be alright.”.

“i hope so” his laughter calmed you. “i’ll call you later so we can fall asleep on call okay? dinner���s ready”.

”it’s kinda forbidden love, isn’t it?” george laughed as he wrapped his arm around you with a cute smile. brown haired boy was waiting along with you at your whole friends’ group. “y’know… techno is your brother and also a rival of your boyfriend… it’s exciting”.

you almost gasped at his words. it felt so silly and people would probably find it meaningless, but you couldn’t hide a smile that appeared on your face. he didn’t say techno’s sister like everyone from the middle school would say, george said that he’s your brother.

“as long as i love her, nothing else really matters to me” clay’s voice was so sweet that you almost melted under it. he was right, there’s no reason to overthink – you love him and it’s the only thing that matters.

“yeah, you should definitely tell him that at the match on saturday.” oh my fucking god, a match. the elimination match between the dsmp high and the lmanburg high. you were completely between a rock and a hard place.

“fuck, i forgot about it.” wrapping his arms around your body, dream felt how stressed you began to get. he also felt when your body unwittingly started to shake. “he’ll hate me, so will wilbur and tommy.”

“aren’t they already hating you? like- you barely talk to them at home, so… what’s the problem?” sapnap asked shrugging. well, he was right – techno lost his interest in talking to you and unfortunately wilbur and tommy took their cue from him, and the only person you had talked to was your dad.

“you’re coming to our match, right?” karl asked with a nervous smile forming on his face. it was his first match ever on the team – you couldn’t not be there. “it doesn’t who will you cheer for, just be there, okay?”

“karl, of course i will be there” you smiled at him, trying to hide your increasing stress that almost made you pass out. “please win this, okay? it’d be too hard to look at your miserable faces.”

tommy had always been your favorite of them all. as a child he wouldn’t let you go and sometimes it was obviously burdensome, but you loved it. you loved how he cared and now you missed it. he wanted, but he couldn’t talk to you, techno and wilbur would be pissed if he did.

he wondered about telling you how well he made friends in high school along with tubbo. about all of the funny jokes he made. he just wanted to be a teenager that shares cool memories with his older sister, but for now his brothers were too proud to apologize.

“wil, are you sure we should do that?” he asked, uneasiness appearing on his pale face. he genuinely missed his big sister that always helped him with his homework, with choosing cool outfits to impress girls, helped him, when he argued with tubbo. “she looks so miserable. even dad is worried!”

“we have nothing to do with her miserableness. she left us first. now, she can go and fuck herself” wilbur had never acted lke that before, so surprised tommy just frowned at him and shook his head in hopelessness. something was off and he would like to know what. to repair it.

his stomach rambled and it was time for a snack. tommy was about to came in, but he heard a bit of a conversation between philza and his only daughter.

“yeah, they do kinda hate me” she shrugged, not letting her tears fall. “uhm… clay proposed that i could stay at his. you know, dad. until… they start talking to me again.” long sigh left her mouth as she clutched her head in hands, right before he noticed tears. tommy couldn’t do more, so he got back to his room not letting anyone in later that evening.

it’d be a lie if someone said that tommy wasn’t stressed out. his first game was in a few minutes and his sister was nowhere to be found. “she has better things to do, i disappointed her - i shouldn’t be so shocked.”

when he saw her, he felt relieved. she was there to support him in his first game in high school ever, but as he watched her, slowly drifting away, looking for someone different in the crowd of people, he was hurt.

“i can’t believe you really choose to avoid the affection from dream for today, because your brothers are here. you should fuck them three” sapnap laughed, looking over your shoulder at tommy. “two. he looks hurt as well as you.” you know he was, but he didn’t do anything because the pressure techno and wilbur put on him, was killing him inside.

“y/n you came!” karl cried out, running towards you and sapnap. he hugged you tight and smiled softly, giggling noiselessly. “did y/n’s brothers saw it? i was literally her ride.”

“excuse me, you did that on purpose?” george laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. you joined him, but you stopped when you saw tommy’s upset, frightened face. it wasn’t only karl’s first game – it was tommy’s as well.

“i gotta talk to him” you sighed exhausted of the whole drama around you and your brothers. or just around you, wilbur and techno. your little brother had nothing to do with it. “tommy, hi” you started a bit nervous, feeling the tension betweet you two. and firstly, you thought he will just go away, but you gasped as he hugged you tight.

“i missed you so much” he whispered so anyone could hear but you. soft smile showed up on his face, making it way more brighter. “thanks for coming here, i know it’s rought between you and wil. he’s kinda mad but everything will be fine, i know that.” you wrapped arms around his torso and smiled widely.

“you’ve got this, okay tommy?” you brushed his hair. in response you got a growl and loud laugh after. “if you win or if you lose, it doesn’t matter, because i will still love you, but i’ve gotta go back to my friends.” you beamed and left tommy as soon as you saw wilbur storming towards you.

me: can’t wait to see you on the field :)

you felt like melting, when dream looked at you with his happy, excited face. you were so proud of him – he was the captain of the school football team and it was known that he has a sport scholarship. despite your brothers’ presence, you planned to show clay some support and you painted a medium #21 on your black, denim jacket.

clay: can’t wait to see you on my bed, right next to the trophy i’ll get as a captain.

he hadn’t lie. you sat on his messy bed, in his messy bedroom, talking to his younger sister drista. she was adorably bewitching. she was a bit younger than tommy, but thankfully she wasn’t as loud as him. you laughed after hearing her awful joke.

“so… you’re living here by now?” she asked curiously, frowning. her eyes scanning your, now, blushed face, waiting on the answer. “please, i cannot stand his my-girlfriend-lives-so-far-and-i-can’t-sneak-into-her-room-and-kiss.” she rolled her eyes, but smile widely.

“oh, yeah.” you blushed even harder as she laughed at your already blushed face. “i’m just worried if he’s okay with us hiding, you know? i mean– he could be with someone else, someone… someone better.”

drista didn’t know what to say and you knew she didn’t have to. you were scared – because of your situation that had place in middle school – he will just leave your for someone better, someone prettier, smarter, cuter.

unfortunately for you, clay had heard your every single word. he coughed, letting drista know that she should go. girl smiled at you before leaving you two alone. him, standing in front of you with only his sweatpants on. “y/n” he started as he got closer.

“i- i- can not tell i know how you feel or how you should feel. and-and i genuinely do not care about anyone else but you. i love you, okay dumbass?” he sat as close as possible and beamed softly.

“you won’t replace me?” the whole thing between you and clay was terrifying you so much. is he lying about his feelings? is he really in love with you? or maybe you’re just a bet? you almost shook your head as the thoughts began to overwhelm you.

he wouldn’t do that. and if he would, some of his friends (yours as well) would kill him. you couldn’t be more happier at the moment. your boyfriend had just told you that he loves you for the very first time, you made amazing friends that would kill for you and vice versa, but there was one thing you had to fix. the relationship with techno and wilbur.

“i could never replace you, love”.

“you sure you wanna do it?” clay asked, gently rubbing your thigh with his thumb, sitting in the front seat of his car. you were about to tell your whole family that clay dream is your boyfriend. the guy your older brother claimed to hate. lots of fun, right?

you nodded unsure, getting out of the car. it was your first time seeing your brothers in over a month and – boy, oh boy – you were terrified. did they miss you? did they even notice you were gone? you wished they did. you weren’t even able to ring the doorbell, because tommy opened the door with a huge grin.

“i’ve been waiting for you.” he confessed, closing you in a tight hug. he let you off as soon as he noticed smiled dream standing right behind you. “and who are you, mister?” suspicious question left tommy’s mouth.

“i’m y/n’s boyfriend, clay” dream beamed at tommy as he let you in. shock finding their way onto his face was… quite hilarious. he mumbled something under his breathe, but you couldn’t catch it.

as soon as you got onto the dining room, you saw wilbur, techno and dad setting the table. tommy coughed, couldn’t hide his happiness. his sister is back and he can’t let her go ever again.

“hi…” you started, your voice getting shaky. “i wanted to explain some things and it’d be a pleasure if you would accept my new boyfriend, especially technoblade.” dream took your sweaty with nervousness hand to calm you. he knew it was tough for you, knowing that him and techno are rivals. “this is clay and i know you know him, and you’re not on the good terms, but please just… finally talk to me, because i miss both of you and i’d love to have either my brothers and boyfriend close as possible.” you finished glancing at techno and wilbur.

“y/n, i’m just sad you didn’t want to go to same school with me. you had never told me why, we were inseparable and everything changed within days.” wilbur was first to answer you. his dejected voice made you crying. you missed him, his voice, his advices, his presence around you. “everytime i woke up, you were already running on the bus and we didn’t have a chance to talk.”

“i- you- you’re right. i should’ve told you why did i choose the dsmp high. i did, because i began to lose myself, everyone saw me only as your sister and i started to think that i do not matter anymore. i had to change it and i had to show everyone that i’m not just yours and techno’s sister, but i’m my own persona.” wil stood up and got closer to you. your tears convinced him that you weren’t lying and he felt bad that he didn’t realize it sooner. “i’m so sorry”.

“no- no, i’m also sorry. i’m the one that should apologizing. you were just choosing your own path and i was mad at you, because of that. ‘m sorry y/n/n.” you smiled through tears and hugged him as tight as you only could.

“there’s no much drama between us” techno chuckled quietly, watching you and wilbur cuddling. “i already knew what’s going on between you two at the match. i just took wil’s side.” he shrugged and you laughed, shaking your head in disbelief. “well, it doesn’t mean i like you” he claimed glaring at your boyfriend. “i can tolerate you as long as you’ll treat y/n the best you can, otherwise i’ll kill you”.

“i agree and so does tommy” your twin added, looking dream dead in the eyes.

“maybe we’ll stop the death threats here and start eating?” your dad proposed with a cheerful smile. his kids were finally getting along again, he couldn’t be more proud or happier than at the moment.

“it went so well” you whispered delighted. you were snuggling with dream on your bed, some time after the dinner ended. phil suggested that he could stay for the night, so they can get to know him better.

tommy was thrilled to the bones about the fact that now, he has a new friend, older than him, and also a captain of the football team, so he could teach him how to play better. wil was… well wil. he made sure that dream didn’t have any wrong intentions and techno just couldn’t care less if you were happy with him. he even suggested that they should bury the hatchet and move on.

“i haven’t said that to anyone yet, but i love you” you said, almost skipping a bit when he held your head and gently kissed you.

“well, you already know that i’m head over heels in love with you. and it won’t ever change” he said and kissed you one more time.

[songmingisthighs]

[9.55] mafia!wooyoung × reader

⇀ good thing you're smart, if not Wooyoung wouldn't have a whole attitude change

⇁ tw : violence, torture, kindapping, mafia life

⇁ part 1 / 2 / 3

⇁ disclaimer : the author does not support any and all criminal/illegal acts. the narrative written in this story is purely fiction out of the author's imagination. the things written here does not portray real mafia life nor is the author aware of how the mafia life is like. the author is a hermit loser.

You don't remember how long it has been since they captured you. Being stuck in a basement would do that apparently.

Whoever was behind your capture had been torturing you beyond your own imagination. They had starved you, hit you, kicked you, attempted to drown you, tied you in an uncomfortable position every night, and sent in someone to make sure you don't get an ounce of sleep.

All that just to get information on Wooyoung.

Currently, you're being tied to a chair, being once again interrogated for informations you had no clue about, "things would be much easier if you'd just give us what we want," the buff man in front of you said, he held a knife to your cheek but at this point you couldn't even flinch, "where is Jung Wooyoung's headquarters?"

Your cold outfit was clinging onto you like second skin, it's uncomfortable and it's dirty, the cold had definitely impacted your health.

Recently all you've been able to feel is just the headache and the burn from inside your body. Not even the abuse given to you was able to inflict you pain.

Everything's just numb.

You look up at the man, almost with a challenging look as you press your face daringly to the blade, "I. Don't. Know." you spat each word like venom.

The man laughed, pretty amused at how daring you are being, "you're his wife, there is no way you wouldn't have known," you rolled your eyes at him, bitter that he used the word 'wife' because you know fully well that Wooyoung would never treat you as such, "then I must've not been his wife now, am I?" You retorted back at him, slightly shocking him because this is the first time within the (apparently) 7 days you've been captured that you had said something else other than 'I don't know' or 'fuck you'.

Everyone was startled at the revelation, they probably hadn't concidered that you might not be Wooyoung's wife. No one really know about Wooyoung's personal life, it seems.

Seeing their hesitance, you take this as your chance of escaping.

The buff man grab your hair harshly, his eyes narrowing at you in suspicion, "don't lie to me, whore, if you're not his wife, then why'd you have a wedding ring on?" "Stole it from my mistress before I ran away, needed the money," you lied easily, surprising yourself.

"And why are you wearing it?" He asked again, "to make it less inconspicuous, people need to believe that this belongs to me or else they'll alert the cops that I'm a thief,"

He seemed to be having an inner turmoil on whether or not he should believe you.

With how you've been acting and the lack of evidence that you are Wooyoung's wife, you could really have been the wrong target.

"That means Handong lied to us," he said as he push your head away, talking to one of the men next to him, "bring him in and get this bitch out," he said simply before turning back to leave.

But before he walked out of the room, he looked back once more at you with a bitter smirk, "make sure to... deal... with her first, insurance for your silence,"

When the doors closed, 5 men approach your figure, still tied on the chair.

One of them crouch down in front of you, he brush your hair out of your face with a sad smile, "I'm sorry that we have to do this, pretty girl," confused at what he said, you just stared at him. But then he suddenly slap you so hard that you fell down along with the chair you're tied to.

And thus began one of the longest night of your life.

Meanwhile Wooyoung was getting antsy. His men couldn't find you anywhere and there isn't a second when he didn't regret turning his abundance of cctv off

He spent his days either in meetings or trying to track your whereabouts. San had to step in and actually force him to eat, going as far as cuffing him to his chair and spoon-fed him, even throwing a cheesy "would (Y/N) be happy to see you in this state?" At him to which he replied, "considering how I treat her, I wouldn't be surprised if she is,"

So far, neither yours nor his parents were aware of your disappearance. His dad only asked about you once to ensure he still has leverage, which of course Wooyoung lied, he's already stressed over your disappearance the last thing he need is for his dad to bit his head off.

Each night he spent sleeping in his bedroom, moping to the fact that he genuinely misses and worried about you. He regret taking you for granted, taking your presence for granted. Now, he could only imagine your sleeping form next to him using the memories of when he actually slept in bed with you. He used to be able to feel your warmth next to him, now it's just cold and he dislike it.

Tonight was no different. Before he got into bed, he went to the walk-in closet and look at all the dresses he had brought you to events that you went to (re : events he was forced brought you because his parents would be there). He remembered every how you looked in every single one of them.

It's pathetic of him, to be pining over the woman he claimed to have no care about.

Just as he turned the walk-in closet's lights off, there were commotions from downstairs, then a huge bang like his front doors had been barged open.

Diving into his instincts, Wooyoung grabbed the nearest gun he had hid all around the room and ran out, thinking that it was a raid by his rivals.

But when he looked down from the second floor to the living room, his heart wrenched and he froze.

San had you in his arms, you looked sickly pale with bruises all over your exposed arms and legs, clothes had chunks of them torn, and you weren't moving. One would assume that you're dead.

Wooyoung dropped his gun and ran to his friend who had just put you on the couch.

The sight of you looking so broken panicked him. He wanted to hold you and be glad that you're home, but he doesn't wanna hurt you. He wanted to tell you how sorry he is and that he'll make up to you but he's not sure whether or not you're still alive.

He snapped his head towards his staff, "call the doctor! Call Kang Yeosang in!" He barked to which his staffs immediately obeyed, scrambling to do as he ordered.

"God, baby, who did this to you?" He muttered to himself, reaching forward to brush your hair out of your face.

You stirred a bit when you heard his voice ans managed to open your eyes despite the splitting headache and the soreness all over your body.

When your eyes met his, you smiled, "hey, what are you doing in my dreams?" You croaked out, throat obviously sore and beyond parched from having been denied fluids for so long. It was your turn to brush his bangs from his eyes, something you've always wanted to do but know never could considering his dislike that turned out to be hatred towards you.

You suddenly frown at him, making his gaze on you softer, "I'm sorry," you muttered, not able to speak louder. At that, he tilted his head, "for what?" "Not being able to stay gone, I had to had the will to live, I should've let them kill me," you said before you slip into unconsciousness, rendering Wooyoung speechless at your words.

Before he was able to retaliate, San had swoop you back into his arms to take you to an empty room so Yeosang could come in and treat you.

"No," Wooyoung called, stopping San in his tracks, "bring her to my- our room, she should feel comfortable," to which San just nodded and obey, knowing how important it is to have you next to him as much as him next to you.

Yeosang came in not long after and spent 3 hours cleaning and stitching your wounds, checking for possible internal injuries, all the while making sure he's handling you with the utmost care as Wooyoung had been glaring daggers at him. Whether it serve to be a warning to not harm you or a sign of jealousy as Yeosang had a perfectly valid reason to cut your shirt and shorts off for handling.

"I can't make a clear diagnosis without checking for internal injuries, we have to take her to the hospital," Yeosang said. But Wooyoung just snap at him, "then freaking bring the machines here! She's not leaving this mansion and she's not leaving my side!"

Both men just stared at each other for a few minutes, Yeosang holding onto his ground on wanting simplicity, and Wooyoung being afraid of losing you from his sight again.

Knowing how stubborn his friend can be, Yeosang was first to crack, sighing and nodding at Wooyoung, "I'll see what I can do," he said simply before going out to talk to San about possibly transporting some of his machines.

The rest of the night, Wooyoung took care of you. He had put you in one of his large, white button up because it's the easiest to put on you. He stayed by your side in a chair, afraid that he might hurt you (than he already necessary does with his words) if he were to slip in bed with you.

As he watch you, his hands moved to held yours in his. His thumbs were rubbing the back of your hand when it suddenly caught on something.

Looking down, he noticed that it's your wedding ring, matching his own which he's wearing.

It brought a smile to his face seeing you're still holding onto it so dearly. You could've left it for him to find and throw away the day you left, but you had decided to take it with you.

Could it be that despite everything he's done to you, you don't want to completely erase him from your mind?

And that's what made Wooyoung broke down and cried.

He didn't deserve you, not one bit. But despite that, he knows that he's the only one capable enough of taking care of you, to provide for whatever it is that you need.

So at that moment, with you back in hia arms, he decided to step up and assume his responsibilities and treat you as how you deserve to be treated.