#i genuinely feel like alex was a fraction of a second away from kissing him

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

i really, really feel like we don’t talk enough about the columbiahalle performance of standing next to me

[tired-eyes-cold-as-ice]

Head Over Knees

pairing: Willie/Alex (Julie and the Phantoms)

summary: It was supposed to be a lovely afternoon... until it wasn't. Or that one time Alex had an existential crisis over his knees.

warnings: None but there is a very brief mention of Willie’s death (as in one line)

words:  1109

notes: Quick question - can you feel your knees? My roommate asked me this exact question recently and we both had an existential crisis over it, except I also made a Willex fanfic out of it. Written in one evening, very dumb but very cute, hopefully it’ll make you smile <3

you can also read this on ao3!

--- --- ---

It was supposed to be a fun, carefree afternoon. Willie had finally convinced Alex to let him teach him how to skateboard and while Alex was still hesitant, he was looking forward to spending time with his boyfriend. It was supposed to be fun and jolly. That is until said boyfriend decided to absolutely destroy his life for the foreseeable future with one abhorrent, stupid question. 

They have been at it for a couple of hours now—at the local skate park, making sure to avoid the more crowded areas since kids passing through them constantly turned out to be quite distracting, though it didn’t take long for Willie to realize that the source of the problem lay elsewhere. 

“I just don’t see how this is safe I mean you literally died doing this.”

“You cannot expect me to do that! Human feet don’t work like that!”

“The ground is so uneven how am I supposed to stay on this thing?”

“I’m too tall for this, Willie.”

After another unsuccessful attempt at trying to stay on the board long enough for it to be considered riding, Alex kicked up the dirt in frustration and turned to Willie, who was silently cackling to himself. He did genuinely try to teach Alex at first, but at this point, it was all purely for his amusement. 

“Can’t we just accept I’m never gonna be a cool skater like you and move on? We’ve been doing this for hours. I can’t even feel my knees anymore!” Alex whined dramatically, hoping for a fond eye-roll from Willie and an offer to go hang out and watch a movie or something.

Instead, Willie gave him a pointed look and it the most deadpan of voices asked a most despicable question that would haunt Alex for all eternity:

“Can you usually feel your knees?” 

---

It’s not that Luke and Reggie weren’t expecting to find Alex in the studio. They just didn’t expect to find him lying face down on the sofa, eyes wide and expressionless. 

Exchanging confused looks, the pair slowly made their way closer, approaching the sofa cautiously.

“Hey, Alex? You okay, bro?” asked Luke gently, shooting Reggie another concerned look when the blond didn’t respond.

Reggie cleared his throat and opened his mouth to say something when he was suddenly cut off by Alex mumbling quietly from where he had now buried his face in one of the pillows.

“Can you, guys, like… feel your knees?” 

Both boys stared at him, dumbfounded.

“Um, what—?”

“Can you guys…” repeated Alex as he sat up slowly, looking up at the confused pair. His eyes were wide and desperate. “Can you feel your knees?”

After exchanging even more confused looks, Luke turned back to Alex, chuckling nervously as his eyes darted between Alex and Reggie.

“Dude, we're ghosts, we can’t feel anything.”

Within a fraction of a second, Alex's expression turned from desperate to despondent. He briefly glanced down at his knees, then back up at the guys and poofed out.

As they stood there, staring at the spot where their friend was just sitting moments ago, Reggie turned to Luke with a panicked look on his face.

“Should we feel our knees?!”

--- 

After spiraling for a couple of days, Alex figured that the next best thing would be to pose this dilemma to a living person, considering they can actually feel their body parts. Unfortunately, Julie was having absolutely none of it as she had an assignment to finish, so he decided to ask Flynn—a decision he’d soon come to regret as Flynn replied that she can and that they feel squishy. 

Utterly broken and devastated, Alex found himself standing in the museum. They were supposed to meet up at the Orpheum later, but Alex knew his boyfriend too well. They were changing the installations again and Willie could never pass up the opportunity to jump over some modern art. 

The boy in question was sitting on one of the concrete benches, fiddling with the wheels on his board and humming under his breath. It took Willie a moment to notice the blond but once he did, his whole face lit up with the brightest of smiles and he jumped up from his seat to greet Alex with a hug. 

“Hot dog! What are you doing here?” He asked, eyes twinkling with excitement as he pulled away, though his face fell seconds later when he saw the look on Alex’s face. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Alex shuffled over to the bench and sat down, gesturing vaguely to his exposed knees with a look of despair on his face. Squishy?

Willie gave him a confused look before realization hit him. “Oh! Alex, are you still worried about the knee thing? I was just joking, come on.”

Alex stayed quiet, staring down at his knees. Could he ever really feel them? Were his knees even real?

His trance was broken moments later by Willie suddenly appearing between his legs, kneeling down on the floor and looking up at Alex. He pressed a soft kiss to one of Alex’s knees and smiled up at the boy brightly. 

“Could you feel that?”

Alex stared at him dumbfounded, a rose tint in his cheeks. 

“I- uh...”

Willie grinned and quickly kissed the other knee as well before resting his head on Alex’s thigh and looking up at the blond lovingly. “How about that? Could you feel that?” he asked, still smiling. 

At this point, Alex was completely red in the face, heart pounding. 

He cleared his throat. “Um, yeah... Yeah, I could feel that.”

Willie grinned in response. 

“Then I guess you can feel your knees as well.”

He pressed another quick kiss to the side of Alex's thigh and stood up, offering the blond a hand to help him get up as well. 

As they stood there hand in hand, two ghosts in the middle of an empty museum, Alex finally caught himself thinking not about knees, but rather about how in love he was with the boy beside him, stupid questions and all. 

---

Alex gets over the knee thing pretty quickly after that, but Willie never lets him live it down, of course.

He mainly uses song puns to remind him every once in a while.

“I can’t feel my knees when I’m with you, hot dog.”

“Alex, can you feel your knees tonight?”

“I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my knees—oh come on, sing with me!”

Alex pretends to hate it. He wants to hate it, but he can’t. 

He loves him too much. 

“Hey, Willie?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m head over knees for you.”

[onewhoturns]

Fireworks (1/4)

What?? Another?? Damn straight, I’ve written one thing a day just about for the past four days which is insane but here we are.

Fandom: Oxenfree Pairing: Alex/Jonas Chapter: 1/4 Characters: Alex, Jonas, (later) Michael, Ren, Nona, Clarissa Word count: 2437 Rating: T for language Summary: The one saving grace of that first kiss (apart from, well, it wasn’t a bad kiss) -- the one thing she could point to as making the kiss sort of okay, morally -- was that it was in a timeline where they were just friends. Well… okay, maybe the kiss might have changed that. A little? Or maybe it didn’t get a chance to, much, cause Alex was too busy shutting herself away and having a teensy tiny crisis over kissing her sometimes-stepbrother. And then, naturally, as always seemed to happen July 8th, it would be May 1st all over again. or: the First, the Fourth, the Fireworks.

-

She should’ve seen it coming. He’d become her other-brother, the one she went to with the things she wasn’t sure she wanted Michael to know. Even if Michael so often ended up finding out anyway (the awkward moment when Michael realized Jonas had been her emergency ride home from a party at Pat’s where she got a little past shitfaced, that was a memorable one). It’s par for the course, in these realities where Michael is with Clarissa, where Ren is with Nona, that Alex gravitates toward “new in town” Jonas. At least, at this point she’s pretty sure that’s how it goes. She doesn’t remember everything, just bits and pieces and vague feelings. She would remember if she’d kissed him - if he’d kissed her - before, right?

There had been moments, sure, that might’ve hinted at it. Halloween night, when Clarissa wore those red contacts, and Alex was shaken to her very core, Jonas had been the one she drove to the coast with. Staring up at the stars, in comfortable silence, feet knocking against one another lazily. Wrapped up in the ratty blankets from the back of his truck, sitting on the rocks and looking out at the ocean. Not that she’s all that big of a fan of the ocean, either, but it was too cold for anyone to try to pressure her into swimming (and Jonas has never been the type to do that, anyway).

Actually, it was weird-- the first time (this time around, anyway) she’d balked at deep water, everyone had seemed surprised. Like this Alex was a friggin’ fish or something. A couple of panic attacks later, they’d learned not to push it. It was wading or the shallow end for her. And Horn Lake was officially a no-go area.

Maybe that’s why she’s been perhaps a little bit clingy with Jonas at the 4th of July barbeque. She couldn’t convince her parents not to have it at the lake, so instead she brought Jonas along and once there dragged him as far from the water as possible, perching on top of the playground equipment, throwing snap poppers at the ground and lighting sparklers and dollar store smoke bombs and trying to forget the fact that Michael is probably at this very moment swimming in the thing that killed him. In the dark. Like an idiot.

It jolts her heart straight into her throat hearing Clarissa’s yelp of, “Mike!” from the beach. The smile wiped from her face, the sparkler drops to the ground and she’s on her feet in an instant, staring worriedly toward the spot their families are camped for the night’s festivities, but unable to see past the silhouettes of a few bodies gathered around the camplight. But then Clarissa bursts into shrieking giggles and Alex finally breathes again.

“Hey,” Jonas’s voice is soft as he wraps a hand around her wrist, giving a gentle tug. “You alright?”

She might be about 50% of the way to crying when she turns back to him. Maybe. Possibly. Or maybe it’s just the wide-eyed panic that has him suddenly concerned, that small crease between his brows just visible in the mix of moonlight and tree-trunk-filtered LED camplight as he reaches for her other hand as well. “Alex, seriously-- are you okay?”

Her pulse had skyrocketed, but with his thumbs rubbing circles into her palms, it’s a lot easier to come back to herself. She hadn’t realized the memory -- a false memory, now, of something that never even happened -- was still so clear, that it could flash so vividly into her head, no matter how briefly. A noise somewhere between ‘mhm’ and ‘ehhhhh’ croaks from her throat between closed lips.

God, his face is so soft. For someone so good at maintaining his cool (ever-vigilant, after his juvie stint, of keeping his temper in check), Jonas’s expression is pretty transparent. None of the usual wariness she gets from others about her baseless fear of the lake, or her occasional moments of sheer panic. His smile, small and slow and warm, is genuine. Caring. A corner of his lips lifts wryly. “Don’t go all Edwards Island on me, now.”

It’s so easy to step forward, to stand in front of his perch on the stupid plastic wall of the kiddie playground, to step between his knees and rest her forehead on his chest and just breathe. He’s grounding. Dependable. A few breaths of his shirt - his deodorant a scent she’s pretty sure she can pick out of a lineup - has her head a lot clearer.

“...Alex...” His voice is almost hoarse, and he clears his throat.

“I’m okay,” she mutters, and sighs before straightening, pulling her hands from his to rest on his knees, avoiding his eyes. “Just… you know. That thing,” she tilts her head toward the sounds of splashing and laughing and people checking their watches in expectation of imminent fireworks. She’s told him about Michael. Well, in a way. She didn’t go into the whole parallel timelines thing, but he knows she had some kind of experience, or maybe a dream, that made Michael + swimming + lake = terror. He puts a hell of a lot more stock in it than Michael, too.

“Right. Yeah.” He swings his legs a bit, thudding his heels against the hollow rails with a thunk-thunk, thunk-thunk. “...Wanna get out of here?”

Alex shakes her head, staring at the ring that still hangs around Jonas’s neck. “Nah, I’m-- I’ll be fine. Besides, the fireworks are gonna be starting s--” The word isn’t even all the way out of her mouth before she sees as well as feels his shift of attention, looking up to the sky, and a moment later there’s the boom and crackle of the first rocket. She half turns, watching the scattering of sparks floating a bit sideways in the slight breeze. The camplight went out from where the rest of their group had stopped to watch. And then up goes another, another thud and a noise like hard rain on a plastic roof.

She turns to watch the sky, midnight blue, speckles of stars lost in afterimages of the fireworks. A triple explosion - the loudest ones they’ve got, all in a row - brings a smile to her lips. “Nice.”

“Yeah. It’s, um… beautiful.”

Alex scoffs, shooting a glance back at Jonas with a small smirk. “They’re like ten bucks a pop, Jonas, this isn’t some masterful pyrotechnics, just the annual July Fourth ‘extravaganza’ according to a few suburban PTA moms.”

“Heh... Yeah, well. Last year it was me and my dad watching Die Hard on the couch and listening to it all going down outside, so…”

“But Die Hard’s a Christmas movie.” She ignores the teeny touch of guilt that she didn’t invite him last year, after all the Island drama. Then, all she’d wanted was to be around her flesh-and-blood, no-longer-dead brother. This year, though, with all the graduation festivities over and done with, with Clarissa and Michael both home for the summer and both families chattering at each other constantly any time they’re in close proximity, Alex was way too eager to have a friend to hang with.

“Oh, we watch it then, too. Sandwiched between Trading Places and Gremlins.”

She narrows her eyes for a second, unsure if he’s serious, before elbowing him in the stomach, rolling her eyes. He hooks an arm around her to keep from taking a ten foot fall to the ground, pulling her back against him as she snorts, “Seriously, you guys have the weirdest traditions.”

“Hey, I take personal offense at that.” He flicks her in the arm, and when she bats his hand away, and he teeters once more, he wrestles her arms to her sides. “Alex I swear, if you push me off this thing and my legs stop working I will never forgive you.”

She’s smirking, but let’s him hold on. “Optimistic. I think I’d aim for paralysis from the neck down.”

“Well you’re the overachiever.”

Another burst of one, three, one, four explosions, and they’ve fallen into companionable silence. In a brief pause between pops, Alex muses, “You know, I heard three years ago one of the firework engineers almost lost an eye.”

“Hm.” She doesn’t get much more than that from him, and then there’s another pop-crackle-pop-pop-BOOM and his hold tightens a little.

“Scared?” she teases, as the sky clears again, in anticipation of the finale. She’s pretty sure that’s his heart she feels thudding against her shoulder. “You never told me your family has a history of losing eyes to pyrotechnical accidents.” Seriously, is he having a heart attack?

“Alex…” His voice is quiet, maybe hesitant, close to her ear.

She huffs out a small laugh, “Relax, I’m just-” But when she turns to reassure him their lips meet and-- Jesus Christ, they’re kissing, when did they start kissing? Her eyes close for a fraction of a second before the fireworks crackle through the air and she blinks back into her senses and pulls away. “What the hell--?”

“Shit, I’m-- Sorry, I--” He lets go of her immediately, and she can feel the heat off his skin even if she can’t see his blush as she stumbles a step away. “I didn’t-- That’s-- Fuck, my bad.”

She thinks maybe she should be leaving, walking back to her family, glaring at Jonas for kissing her so suddenly, but instead stands, dumbly, a foot out of his reach. She’s just… baffled. Confused? Perplexed.

Jonas’s head falls into his hands as he groans. “God, that was--” He’s mumbling into his palms, “Can we just pretend that didn’t happen?”

Alex stares for a second. Because, she’s just… there’s a lot happening in her head right now. Specifically, after mentions of Christmas, she’s remembering that awkward moment at Ren’s Christmas party, running into Jonas in a doorway, catching him spotting mistletoe and very quickly stepping out of her way, face flushed from what she’d initially assumed was the spiked punch. And maybe there had been glances across the front seat on those midnight drives, the way he looked at her when she stuck her head out the window and howled at the sky, that grin he gave her, and the look in his eyes. Tracing the lines of her palm hanging over the side of the couch as Ren and Nona battled it out button-smashing, as everyone threw taunts and jeers at game night. That time she’d had a nightmare and called him at 4am and he answered (with only minor complaint).

...Okay. Maybe she’d… um… maybe…

A hand is rubbing at his neck awkwardly, head hanging low, feet tapping a quick nervous rhythm close to the bars, super audible in the silence now that the fireworks are over and done.

Alex has never been particularly good with romance. She has, in fact, been notoriously obtuse when it comes to people liking her. Case in point, apparently. But she does like Jonas. And it’s definitely not the same way she likes Ren, or Nona, or even Michael. She loves him, really, just never considered it a physical thing, never thought that maybe it could be something… else. He’s her best friend. Closer than Ren in a shorter amount of time. She’s just… surprised, that’s all. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t something settling in the pit of her stomach. Something not nearly as unpleasant as she might have expected.

She probably looks more angry that she feels, brow furrowed as she steps toward him. But she’s not angry. Just… trying to figure out what exactly she’s about to do. And really trying to ignore that nagging feeling in her head that this is one in an infinite number of timelines where too often this is not okay.

A tentative step forward and she’s between his knees once more, fingers resting on denim. He drops his hands and glances up; ashamed, hopeful, mortified. “Honestly, Alex, that was way out of line, I shouldn’t have-” His voice stutters to a halt as she brings her face closer to his. Her gaze shifts from his eyes to his mouth-- she’s just to his right, glancing away for a second, and she spots his hands gripped tight to his perch, and she turns back, and her eyelashes brush his cheek as she noses into his space, and then--

Their lips are touching. Again.

It’s… nice, actually. Better when he breathes her in and seems to melt against her and his hands wrap around her waist like he’s scared she’ll pull away again. Her heart is in her throat for a completely different reason now, because this is the closeness she likes with him-- only better, closer, but not in a way that makes her feel awkward or uncomfortable or… It’s just… really nice. Kissing him.

When she breaks the kiss, she doesn’t pull back, only moves to rest her cheek on his shoulder. There’s a pause, a moment when she realizes her heart is beating as hard as his was earlier, and she lets out a short huff of breath.

“Um…”

But whatever he’s going to say, it’s interrupted with a call from the beach. The camplight is on again. “Alex? Alex honey, we’re just about packed. It’s getting late.”

She’s not sure when her palms went to Jonas’s chest, but they leave it now, stepping away once more, only for him to catch one hand.

“Want to go for a drive?” It’s hopeful, maybe a little anxious, even though the request is one he’s made - hell, she’s made - time and time again. “Or-- or I can just give you a ride home, or…”

She shifts from one foot to the other, avoiding his expectant gaze. Instead her free hand traces the chain, hooks briefly into the ring around his neck. Shit-- She lets go, steps away again, pulling out of his grasp. And he lets her go, of course he does, and she wonders if she’d spot his expectations falling if she were brave enough to look. “I’m… look, I’ll…” The breath feels forced from her lungs in a puff of air. “Not tonight.”

And she feels like an idiot for it -- feels guilty and stupid because that’s just mean, leaving him like that -- but she leaves the remnants of sparklers and smoke bombs and poppers scattered on the ground (in a poor display of responsibility) and walks back to the picnic site not quite too fast, but with a kind of determination that only comes from pointedly avoiding thinking about potentially really fucking up a relationship thanks to an awkward kiss in the dark.

[hollywoodx4]

Sticking With the Schuylers (19)

There’s this video I was absolutely dying watching the other day, which I’m now obsessed with, which turned into inspiration for this chapter. I don’t even know how many times I’ve watched it. There was also this picture that I came across probably the same day that I saved immediately becauae the look on his face I can’t.

<I need to lesson plan for March still>

In this part, Alexander seeks advice from a friend, which leads to a night out...

1  2  3  4   5   6   7   8   9   10   11   12   I   13  14   15   16   17   18A  18B   18C  I

              Alexander finds himself at Angelica’s door early the next morning-5 A.M, to be exact. He hasn’t slept; no, the night had been surrounded with too many feelings-too much to consider. He and Eliza had sat in the swinging chair at Benny’s for hours, until the sun had come down. She’d taken a nap curled into his chest while he watched the traffic, one hand wrapped securely around her while the other stroked her hair. He thought.

              He tried not to imagine the situations she’d laid out in front of him; even with her timid voice and her lack of detail the images continued to flash through him in sporadic bursts of pain. He’d hold her tighter. And then, looking down at her-lips slightly parted, eyes moving underneath shut eyelids, hand still on top of his-he wonders how somebody could do the things that had been done to her.

              She’s kind-so kind, and loving…she’s been spending time with Laurens while he’s been in class, making friends with him and cheering him up during his long shifts. She’s become friends with Herc’s Julia-a more shy, subtle type. She’s spent time with just her, taking her having lunch with her and sitting with her during the game nights she’s been to. She’s been patient with Laff’s raucous, unfiltered jokes, and to him…She’s been so good to Alexander. Too good, he thinks; she’s been patient, and understanding…he’s well aware of the fact that he rambles on too much for his own good. But Eliza listens. She doesn’t do the fake kind of listening either, where there’s just head nods and ‘yes, mhm.’ No, Elizabeth Schuyler genuinely listens to every word he has to say, no matter how much of a tirade he may seem to go on. And it’s amazing, to have somebody respond so fully and truly when he’s exhausted himself from talking again; to feel like he doesn’t have to filter himself for her.

And then Eliza just has this way about things; this warm, gentle kindness that spreads evenly throughout the people she’s met. Alexander is sure she’s never hurt a single soul. He’s frustrated that somebody would hurt her.

              And there’s a part of him-a piece of him that feels responsible.  He knows that he hadn’t even known her when this was happening; that the events of her trauma connect in no way to where or who he was at that point in his own life. But that pang is still there; he’s always seemed to be too late-not quick enough, or smart enough. And in this moment, he wishes he could have just known her that fraction of time more; long enough to protect her. Long enough to kick James Reynold’s ass. Long enough to let her know that he’d be there for her.

              Which brought him to sunset; Eliza stretching against him, yawning as she untangled her contorted body from the swing they’ve been set in for a few hours. And then he’d looked down at her, concerned, to receive a slight smile in return. And she’d bent her head up to him, letting her lips linger on his-warm lips, gentle hands resting on the side of his face as she runs her thumb across newly formed stubble.  

              “Thank you,” she’d rested her head against his-her words a breath of air; a sigh of relief against his skin. The anger he had felt before she had woken up dissipates with the feeling of her skin on his. He is relaxed by it. He is better. “For being here.”

              They’d ended up eating dinner with Benny, who’d made enough for a small army when he’d realized they were still there. They have fresh pasta, and garden-grown tomato sauce. Alex holds her hand over the table. Benny grins, his eyes twinkling, as he looks on at the couple. Eliza has been chatting animatedly, asking questions about business and about Benny’s personal life-his own daughter, older and married with three children-spends most of her time in Australia now. He hasn’t seen his grandchildren in a while, not since his wife has passed. She’s apologetic, saddened. He shakes his head.

              “You, piccolo, spread love enough to brighten my days. And now this,” He gestures to Alex’s hand, still holding hers over the table. He’s been looking on at her all night, joining conversation sporadically while only taking brief moments with his eyes away from hers. The old Italian man has noticed; the way this young man has been so attentive, so sure…it’s a mannerism that reminds him a lot of himself; of his wife that has passed. This young man looks at Elizabeth with as much certainty as he’d been able to look at his wife for all the time they’d had together.

              “Bella Tesoro,” He sighs the words as he leads them out of the shop front and onto the busy streets, flipping the open sign to closed behind them.

              It isn’t until they’ve gotten back to Eliza’s, and he’s kissed her at her door, that Alex has remembered the words.

              “What did Benny mean, when we were walking out tonight?” Eliza smiles at him, one hand on his, lingering.

              “Bella Tesoro…beautiful treasure.” She pulls herself into him for one last moment, a brush of her lips on his cheek before she opens the door to her suite. “I think he’s on to something.”

              But despite the seemingly resolved ending to their night he still tosses and turns, unable to find comfort in the quiet of his room or the loneliness of it all. It’s not as if he’s alone, in fact Alexander’s apartment is very much full-Herc has Julia over, John and Laff are busy with a days-long Lord of the Rings marathon...there are walls of noise-echoes of chaos that he’d normally find comfort in. But the noises are muted to Alexander, who lays on his side-his stomach-his back, restless and with a clogged mind.

              Which brings him to 5 A.M, knocking feverishly on Angelica Schuyler’s door. When she answers she looks ticked off-it’s Monday morning, a day where early classes are non-existent for either of the friends. And she’s still in her pajamas-reasonably so-pulling her hair into a ponytail as she looks at him with disbelief written all over her features.

              “Angelica, I just need someone to talk to.” She rolls her eyes, taking in his appearance. He’s dressed in old jeans and a hoodie, hair looking haphazardly combed and shoved underneath a red beanie. His eyes have the same dark bags she’s taken as his a trademark of his anxiety. She opens the door wide, stepping aside so he can make his way in.

              “Give me a minute, I need to make sure John knows we have company so he’s not completely freaked by the panicked elf sitting on our couch at…5 in the morning,” As she trails down the hallway he can just hear the diction in the words that follow behind her, including Ungodly hour and good lord, Alex. When she returns she’s being followed by a man dressed in a black-collared shirt and khakis. He looks Alex over carefully, regarding him skeptically before looking back at Angelica.

              “Alex Hamilton-usually rambling, frantic hot mess who’s dating Betsey.” He almost takes offense to her introduction but she’s grinning-teasing-so he simply stands and extends a hand to the man.

              “John Church-put-together mess, also dating a Schuyler sister.” Alex nods; he knows the name, putting a face to it finally seems a bit strange-as if John Church had been a legend come to life. “Almost 9 years now, too. They’re good, the Schuylers.”

              “They are.”

              “You’re right we are.” Angelica interjects, once again opening the door. John smiles, recognizing his cue and making his way to her. “Go to work so I can calm him down, please?”

              “I’ll grab a coffee on the way. It was nice to meet you, Alex.” When she’s shut the door she takes a moment, moving to the kitchen to brew a fresh pot of coffee. She’s sure he doesn’t need it-Alex is jittery enough as it is-but she offers him a cup when she returns, sitting on the sofa in front of him. And once she sits, it’s like the floodgates have opened once more. He takes not even half a breath before beginning.

              “Angelica, I need…I was just-Eliza…I’m not sure how to approach this conversation, and,”

              “You guys had a conversation?”

              “We did, and it-I just-I want to help her. Okay, that came out wrong. I promise, I don’t want to change her-I love her, I wouldn’t change her for anything, I just,”

              “You love her?”

              Alex’s face flushes bright red but he relents, straightening his posture and making deliberate, serious eye contact with Angelica. Her lips are turned up in a knowing smirk, head tilted and eyebrows raised. He thinks about every moment; every second he’s been able to spend with her sister. And it’s just the thought of her, her name gliding through his subconscious, which has the power to sooth him. To warm him from the inside out. He’s sure.

              “I do.”

“Okay it’s been what, 2 months?”

“Almost 3.”

“Okay.” Angelica takes a moment, looking Alex up and down as if she doesn’t know quite what to make of him. He’s standing tall, putting on this incredible façade of cool confidence. But Angelica knows him better; he’s an easy read. While he stands with planted feet and gives her eye contact, his hands remain by his side-familiar fidget cube finding its way to them. He clicks the soundless button back and forth, taking in deep and calculated breaths. Angelica’s glad she’s making him nervous.

“Okay?” Alex answers her with a question, unsure of exactly what she means. She hasn’t broken her expression since he’d let the three words slip; trademark smirk still finding its way to make him incredibly nervous.  “Angelica I know it hasn’t been long but when you know, you know. And I love Eliza.”

              “Okay. I meant okay….it’s alright. You’re a good person, Alex.” She can see his sigh of relief, the way his chest expands and falls as he has trouble containing the smile that spreads rapidly across his face. She hides her own smile, suddenly hardening her stare on him.

              “But I swear to god Alex Hamilton if you so much as think about hurting her,”

              “I won’t. I couldn’t.”

              “Good.” She rises from the couch then, nodding at him with closed eyes-her own sort of blessing. Angelica takes his empty coffee cup to refill, speaking to him from the kitchen. “So you said you  need help with something?”

…

              Eliza lays on her bed, feet up in the air and head propped on her hands. Angelica flies around the room, pulling random items from her closet with an agenda-driven flurry of movement. She watches her older sister, sighing and pulling her blanket closer to her body. The quiet Tuesday night wasn’t going quite to the plan she’d set out.

First, she’d sent Alexander a text while she was in her 7am class. He hadn’t replied. Which was fine, really, until it grew to be noon and she’d become antsy about the entire situation. What if he’d changed his mind after hearing her story? What if all of their talking has just been a moment-what if he’d gone home and realized that things weren’t actually going to work out? What if she really was too damaged for him?

But he’d reassured her with a text back around 12:30, putting a rain check on their plans because of a group project he’d been roped into doing the most of. She’d understood-of course, because it was Alexander and group projects were his most hated aspect of school. But her understanding of his need to work wouldn’t just make him appear. So she’d decided to stay in.

Usually, she’d be all over the night. The old Eliza would have jumped on the chance; the old Eliza would have been the one dragging Angie out. And as she watched her older sister put together an outfit she didn’t particularly care for, she wished she could just be the old Eliza again. There hadn’t been a moment where she’d deny plans with her sisters, or with new friends. She’d always jumped at the opportunity to have fun-to feel that carefree feeling that came along with a good group of friends and a night out. But tonight, part of her just can’t pull herself back.

Angelica stops in her flurry to reach down to her sister, putting a hand on her shoulder before helping her up, much to Eliza’s dismay. There’s a glow in Angelica’s eyes-a mischief-that pulls her along. And before she can hesitate she’s moving to her closet to pick out something different, blinking back the tightened feeling in her chest and the numbness in her body. She was determined to have a good time, if not for Angelica’s sake.

When they got to her favorite Hibachi place, tucked between a small grocery store and a Law firm, Eliza already felt better. There was something about the atmosphere-giant koi pond in the lobby, cheap decorations with fading color placed haphazardly around the room-that made her instantly excited. And then, their waitress leads them to a high table, roped off with blue streamers. Angelica smirks. Eliza stares.

“Oh, and happy birthday!” Her eyebrows raise in question, and she’s just about to open her mouth to protest when a gaggle of other voices chime in to the well wishes. Five bodies pop up from behind the table, the first catching her eye sporting a collared shirt and khakis along with his usual ponytail. He has this grin on this face-his teeth aren’t showing but his lips are turned up so much that his cheeks are very visibly raised by them. They make immediate eye contact and she shakes her head, closing the distance between them with haste.

“What’s this?”

“Just a party. Happy fake birthday!” She smacks Alexander’s arm then, looking between him and his friends-their friends-in disbelief.

“We can’t just pretend it’s my birthday! There’s something that’s just so morally wrong about that?”

“There’s nothing wrong with a little party. Besides, there’s still one more surprise.”

“Another one? Alex, there’s no way-,”

“-But to get your surprise you have to stay, and let us pretend it’s your birthday and share our scorpion bowls.” Everyone’s looking at her, waiting for her response. Eliza lets her eyes scan the room once more; there’s blue helium balloons and white lace garland. There are even tiny plastic cats at every seat, their place-markers. The sight of it all nearly makes her cry.

“Did you plan all of this?”

“Angelica helped a lot with the ideas of it. And then everyone got on board-John bought the little cats, Herc and Laff got the balloons…”

“It’s amazing. Thank you.” She looks to everyone first, grinning, before wrapping her arms around Alexander. The embrace is tight-she doesn’t let go until Peggy coughs, drumming on the hibachi table.

“If we don’t sit down they’ll never come and feed us!”

Eliza’s enjoying herself-John catches the most green beans the chef throws, bragging about it until their meals come. Alex gets hit in the face with his and it lands on his plate with a resounding thunk that sounds twice as funny from the other side of his scorpion bowl. She sips her drink; there’s no need to get it all in at once. There’s nothing to hide from here, no reason to forget the memory that���s being created.

That’s not saying that she and Alex don’t completely finish their own drink before their meals are served. But she’s happy, laughing at Laff’s antics in struggling through the words on the menu through his thick French accent. And suddenly, very easily, she feels as though she’s back in her element again. She’s cracking jokes, effortlessly making her way through four conversations at once…it’s all beautifully intimidating, in a way that makes him comfortable to sit back while she works the room.

And then he’s gone, leaving her with only a squeeze of her hand while he maneuvers his way to the entrance once more. Eliza’s upset, looking back to where he’d gone with a pout while Angelica attempts to bring her back into the conversation.

And it works-right until the sound of microphone feedback interrupts them again.

“Oh god, sorry, I need to just-okay, that’s better.” Alexander maneuvers his way around their little corner of the restaurant, chorded microphone in hand as he trips over wires in attempts to stop the awful noise. Once he’s settled his eyes find their way back to Eliza again. He flashes her another trademark grin as she looks back at him with wrinkled nose and narrowed eyes-a silent ‘what the hell’ that moves her lips. “Alright, here’s surprise #2.”

He shrugs before moving to a silver rectangular box, pressing a button before holding the microphone with both hands. An old, familiar R&B melody starts and Eliza can’t contain her yelp of excitement.

“Get out of here, he is not about to do karaoke this is not happening!” She turns to Peggy, who’s swiftly taken out her phone to record the moment. Alex is in a rare form, showboating and loosening up, and as the song continues his stage presence intensifies. He’s added dance moves, swaying with the microphone and wiggling his eyebrows at her.

She’s never laughed so hard in her life. A few of the people seated by them have their heads turned their way, but nothing seems to shake the confidence Alex has. He points to her while he sings, getting into the song and using voices that only make her laughter intensify. She covers her face with her hands in mock embarrassment.

When the final notes of the song play out she’s the first out of her chair, hollering and clapping wildly. But he refuses to leave the stage; he saves his place before dragging her out there as well, giving her a second microphone and flipping through their song options on the screen. She hangs over his shoulder, face pressed against his as she tries to get a peek at what he might be choosing.

When the first few notes of the song play through the speakers she hops up, laughing, before assuming the character of Sandy from Grease. It’s a strange mixture of pineapple rum and the hype of their small crowd that leads them through their performance, and by the time it’s Eliza’s turn to sing they’ve both begun dancing and moving as far as their microphones will let them travel. When the first chorus comes around they’re trailing each other around their little corner. Eliza’s grinning ear-to-ear, and there, in her slightly dilated eyes, is the same shining warmth he’d been witness to so many days before-the happiness he’d been hoping to give her.

Her happiness only fuels his need to perform-to make her laugh-even more.

Alex picks up the karaoke machine, making his way to the table before hopping up. Eliza follows until he stands, shoes on, atop the countertop. But it’s only a moment’s hesitation-he’s still singing, one hand extended out to her as he bops on the balls of his feet. Then they’re in a full-blown dance routine, one of her hands on his chest leading him back, him following her like a lost puppy. They maneuver around the countertop with carefree, dainty, shoe-clad feet, and Eliza’s sure it’s the most fun she’s had in years.

              Even though they’re kicked out of the restaurant.

              Her laughter trails through the bustling nighttime streets of Manhattan as they crowd around Peggy’s phone, watching the impromptu performance again. It’s a chilly November night, her fake birthday. Eliza wraps her arm around him, head on his chest, and whispers thanks into his ears one thousand times over. He shakes his head; although his cheeks are still slightly red from the initial embarrassment of the karaoke, Eliza’s presence warms everything up once more. She is happy. His goal is complete.

[cafecitowriter]

Heartstrings (Lin-Manuel Miranda x Reader)

A/N: So this one is based off a request that I unfortunately can’t find (sorry omg). That being said, it ended up changing a lot from what the request actually was. I’m not sure if I’m completely satisfied with it, but hey, here it is!

Summary: You’re asked to be a part of the Hamilton orchestra, and then some. Of course, that means spending a bit of quality time with one Lin-Manuel Miranda

Word Count: 2,918

Masterlist 

You made your way downtown, your violin in hand. You hummed to yourself to calm your nerves. It wouldn’t do well to look as anxious as you felt on your first day of work.

You were to be in the orchestra for a show called Hamilton. You were still in shock as to how you got asked to be a part of a show whose intentions were to go off-Broadway just freshly out of university. Sure, you had been playing several instruments since the age of 5, and had attended Juilliard, but you thought there would be a lot more of the clichéd “starving artist” period before you would make anything remotely big. Not that you were complaining, of course.

You just had to work harder not to fuck this up.

A friend of yours had been recently in touch with a man named Alex Lacamoire, who was working on Hamilton. Upon being asked if there were any openings for the orchestra, Alex had said that there was still a lot of work to be done before an orchestra could even be incorporated, but if they had anyone in mind he would definitely give them a shot. Not even a week later you had had a one-on-one audition with the great man of music himself.

…

“It’s nice too meet you, Y/N,” Alex said upon greeting you.

“You too,” you smiled brightly and shook his hand.

“So for this audition, you’re gonna play some things, and then we’ll jam out. However, before we begin, I’m just curious, and please answer honestly, tell me what music is to you.”

The question had caught you off-guard. You were expecting to play for the man, maybe talk about your previous experience at most. You took a moment to think it through.

“Music to me is… is the soul of the world. It bends to what we will it to bend to. Its different genres give us endless potential to create and can be used for different purposes. It’s this… this unique force that can lend itself to creation, to healing, to love, to destruction, and so many other things. Without music, we couldn’t convey so much of what we do. It forces us to listen and to understand and to empathize. Without it, expression would be so stifled and limited. Music makes us as humans better. It enhances and enriches our lives.”

Alex looked at you for a solid few moments and you held your breath. You had gotten a bit carried away with yourself, but upon seeing a smile grow on Alex’s face, you figured your honest answer hadn’t been half bad.

Alex then led you through a few simple songs that you had to cold read, to which you played on your violin. Then he challenged you to play by ear and match him as he played on piano. After a few melodies of those, he told you that you could continue playing the same notes he was, or you could get creative. Deciding on the latter, you two began what could have resembled a casual jam session had this not been an audition. After playing a few different melodies, he gave you a curious look.

“That was an interesting choice for the last one.”

“Well I chose to compliment and not overpower. I felt that I only really needed to come in at the end of each section, therefore highlighting the beginning and giving the piano more importance. Music is about give, take and balance, and knowing when to highlight certain sections and instruments in order to create the most impact.”

Alex couldn’t hold back his grin, which gave you hope.

“Well spoken… Y/N, out of curiosity, how many instruments do you play?”

“Um, well violin, viola, piano, cello, guitar, flute, and clarinet. So seven. Oh! But I’ve learned a little bit on the trumpet too, so I can manage fairly well if I practise a song enough.”

“Y/N, how would you like to be a part of Hamilton?”

…

You were stunned at the offer, but accepted readily. What was even better, Alex had not only offered you a part in the orchestra, but also a part on the creative team. He told you that you looked at music differently than most people that he knew. You could listen to something and see what it needed to be the best version of itself, depending on what the intent was. It was exactly what Hamilton needed, and he would love to have you on the team.

Alex, or Lac, as he told you to call him, explained to you what his role as the Music Director was. He then went on to tell you that after getting permission from their Production Manager to do so, he was searching for an Assistant Musical Director to shadow him and assist him so that he could spend more time with his wife and newborn child, while still being able to work on Hamilton. In other words, he wanted you to be the right-hand to the right-hand man.

This was why you were on your way to what he had called a “Cabinet Meeting” with himself, director Tommy Kail, and the mind behind its conception, Lin-Manuel Miranda. You had heard of In the Heights, and in fact loved it. You loved the infusion of both salsa, hip-hop and rap being incorporated into a musical. Lin and Lac were geniuses, in your opinion. Now you had the incredible opportunity to work alongside them. You really didn’t want to fuck this up.

You took a breath before you entered the building and looked for the right room. You heard voices close by, and peering in, you found Lac standing with two other men by a piano, so you walked in quietly. Noticing your arrival, Lac waved you over.

“Hey! Y/N, this is Tommy and Lin,” he said as you shook their hands respectively.

“Guys, this is Y/N, and she is incredible,” he grinned at you.

You let out a small laugh, the tension you had been holding slowly releasing.

“Wow now that is the best introduction I’ve ever gotten.”

“Well you deserve it,” Lac said, grinning.

“So you’re the illustrious Y/N we’ve heard so much about,” Lin said with a smile. “I must say, the only thing Lac didn’t tell us about you was how beautiful you are.”

He then took your hand and kissed it. You felt your face burn with a blush and you remained speechless. Tommy hit Lin upside the head, breaking the moment as Lac laughed.

“You know that’s not what I meant by, ‘you need to practice being more of a flirt so you can characterize Alexander better,” Tommy said with a playful roll of his eyes.

“In all fairness, Tommy, you didn’t give me parameters on who I was allowed and not allowed to flirt with,” he joked.

You then realized that he hadn’t let go of your hand and you blushed a little bit. Lin seemed to notice the same thing you had, and gave your hand an extra squeeze before letting it go.

The rest of the meeting went by in a blur. Everyone caught you up to speed on where the script was at, giving you a copy, including sheet music for the existing songs. More than once your eyes held Lin’s gaze for just a fraction of a second more than what was considered appropriate, resulting in your fumbling responses, to which Lin only smiled fondly at you.

The meeting ended with the promise of attending the next day’s rehearsal to sign your contract, meet the cast and get a feel for what the process was like. Lac and Tommy left fairly quickly soon afterward, leaving you and Lin to pack up your things.

“You know I’m really glad you’re joining our team, Y/N,” Lin said enthusiastically, to which you smiled brightly at him.

“I am too. I mean I was glad to get any job, but knowing that I get to work with the genius behind In the Heights still has me pinching myself to make sure it isn’t a dream.”

“You’re a ‘Heights’ fan?” Lin looked at you with a curious expression.

“Are you kidding me? You incorporated so many different genres that are thought to be unconventional for musical theatre into a musical, and not only that, don’t even get me started on how well it all blended. Like it just flows, you know? There was so much attention to detail, like creating a melody with things like Usnavi’s celebratory rap in “It Won’t Be Long Now”. At a glance, it can seem very separate but it’s all just distinct beats that are repeated in sequence but emphasized, and the flow was created due to the stress on the rhymes, which are accented by the Spanish words most notably. But yeah - yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean to get carried away…” you trailed off, feeling a faint blush creep up on your cheeks as you realized Lin had been staring at you dumbfounded.

“Hey don’t apologize! Never say you’re sorry for getting passionate about things,” Lin said earnestly, grabbing your hand and giving it a squeeze. “And if I’m being honest,” he continued. “I could listen to you talk about music all day.”

“Well, we’re gonna be spending the next few months, if not more, together, so be careful what you wish for, because that’s exactly what you’re gonna be getting.”

“I can’t wait,” he grinned genuinely at you.

…

When you joined the next day’s rehearsal and signed the contract you couldn’t get the smile off your face. Lin had caught you off guard by greeting you with a hug the moment you set down your violin. You giggled as he literally picked you up off your feet. When he placed you back on the ground again, you had immediately been bombarded by the cast introducing themselves to you. Throughout the greetings and occasional hugs (some of them were very affectionate, you could tell), Lin had stayed by your side, watching you with a tender expression on his face, unknown to you of course. You were struck by the fact that everyone had been so kind to you, and it made you even more excited to be working at Hamilton.

Throughout the rehearsal you stayed quiet, wanting to observe the dynamic that the company had already created in order so that you wouldn’t disrupt it. Counteracting that, of course was Lin, who would jump at any chance to include you in discussions or conversations. By the time the lunch break had rolled around, you felt like you were part of the team.

“Y/N, you have to play us something!” Jasmine grinned at you when she saw that you had perched yourself on the piano bench, as though you were in your natural habitat.

You blushed at her words.

“Oh I don’t know…”

“Awe come on Y/N!” Oak pleaded.

“You know they won’t let up until you actually do it,” Lin added with a hopeful grin.

“I don’t know…”

“What if I sing along?” Lin suggested

“What is this, Glee?” you retorted, causing him to laugh.

You couldn’t help but think to yourself how you would love to hear that sound more often.

“Okay then, smartass, we’ll play a duet on the piano instead,” Lin said as he sat beside you.

Since it was clear that you weren’t getting out of this, you rolled your eyes playfully at him.

“Fine, but remember, you asked for it.”

You could feel Lin smiling widely as you began to play. After a few seconds, he joined in with his melody. You didn’t know how long you played for since you always had a tendency to get lost in music when you played. You tried not to focus on how well you two had been playing together, as though you had always been improvising piano duets with him. Letting your instincts take over, you allowed your eyes to close as you continued to play along with Lin.

After what you assumed to be another minute, perhaps two or three, you realized that Lin was no longer playing with you. You opened your eyes and stopped playing abruptly, only to be startled when everyone began clapping, causing you to blush under all the attention.

“Y/N that was so good!” Jasmine exclaimed cheerfully.

“Oh, you know, it was nothing. Besides, I had a great duet partner,” you smiled at Lin, hoping to take some of the attention off of yourself.

“No way. The last two minutes were all you, and they were two minutes of pure beauty,” he said, reaching up to brush a stray hair away from your face and tuck it behind your ear.

“Although,” he continued in a quieter tone than before, “I believe that with you, every moment is beautiful.”

The cast’s “ooooohs” and subsequent commentary fell on your deaf ears as you took in Lin’s adoring gaze.

…

“No.”

Lac played another melody on the piano, and you sighed.

“No,” you both said in unison.

You had been working on Hamilton for just over two months, and were currently in one of the rehearsal rooms with Lac trying to perfect one of the songs that Lin had sent you.

“There’s just something missing,” Lac said.

“I know, and I’m determined to get it right before Lin gets here.”

“You know it’s not like you need to prove yourself,” Lac said, a knowing look on his face.

“I know… I just - I want to-”

“Make him proud?”

You could practically hear Lac’s smile in his voice and you blushed.

“Well I mean… Yeah…”

“If you ask me, he feels more than pride when he thinks of you,” Lac winked at you and you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

Before Lac could respond, you heard Lin’s voice as he approached.

“Hello, hello, hello! Now what are we cooking today? I mean, besides you, Y/N, because you look smoking,” he winked and you let out a laugh.

Lin had taken to flirting with you consistently since the day you met, claiming that he still needed to master Hamilton’s flirtatiousness.

“You know I think I’ve heard better pick up lines than that,” you retorted.

“I’ve definitely heard better ones,” Lac said with a roll of his eyes as he discreetly hid the music you were just working on in favour of the ones for the song you had finished an hour ago.

You and Lin smiled at each other for a few moments before you looked away, clearing your throat as you realized you had been staring for just a moment too long.

“So, this is what Y/N and I came up with for The Story of Tonight,” Lac spoke up when neither of you said anything else.

Lac began to play the sequence, and you joined in on your violin. The only real thing you did was to add some more violin to the melody, but otherwise you had left it untouched. However, Lin looked at you with such caring and happy eyes that you couldn’t help but blush under his gaze, forcing yourself to focus harder on the task at hand. When you and Lac finished, Lin was grinning at you.

“That was incredible!”

“Thanks. I mean, we didn’t even do much to it-”

“But you added what it needed for it to be the best it could be,” Lin assured you.

You smiled at him and found yourself lost in his eyes. The moment was lost when Lac cleared his throat, startling you both.

“Right. Yeah. Okay. So um, anyway, Lac wrote up the new sheet music for this song,” you managed to say, even though your mind was clouded by thoughts of Lin and his gorgeous eyes.

“Of course he did. You know, I’d be so lost without him,” Lin grinned.

“You’re not wrong,” Lac replied. “Though now you do have Y/N as a contingency plan should anything ever happen to me,” he smirked.

“Nah, she’s more than a contingency plan,” he said softly.

You blushed and smiled at him.

“You know a bit more practise, and you may just have this flirting thing down,” you teased.

As Lin let out a laugh that was more melodic than any music you had ever heard, you realized that you were really getting in too deep.

“Yeah well the day that happens is the day I finally manage to sweep you off your feet,” he said with a wink, causing you to giggle.

“You’re ridiculous,” you replied.

Of course he wasn’t being serious. This is just how your friendship was with Lin. He would flirt, you would get flustered, and you would both laugh about how silly it all was. After all, it’s not like he would ever feel the same way toward you as you felt about him.

“Ridiculously smooth, you mean.”

“In your dreams,” you teased.

“Duh. But in my dreams you’re the one who’s telling me that.”

You couldn’t help but relish in the way that Lin reached for your hand and kissed it. You thought to yourself that you really didn’t mind being in so deep. After all, it’s not like you could dig your way out at this point.

If you were being honest, you really didn’t want to.

Besides, when had a little celebrity crush ever hurt anyone?

[justandersons]

paragraph 002 - a world of silence

WHO: Alexander Smythe and Logan Anderson

NOTES: Logan has been kicked out of the house by his boyfriend in the pouring rain and takes refuge in a coffee shop, where he bumps into Alex and the guy he was hooking up with, Parker.

Logan Anderson

Working with Alex was proving to be a good thing for Logan. The other man challenged him and he really enjoyed the time they spent together working on their project. Logan was getting more confident communicating with him and felt more comfortable with him than he had with anyone in a long time. He knew it was because Alex wasn't particularly bothered by his inability to speak. Logan wanted to, he wanted to speak to Alex and he wanted to be normal, but he couldn't. God, he couldn't. So he stayed silent. 

Matthew hadn't liked him spending more and more time out. He'd beaten him badly for it, stating that he was supposed to be with him and he was his priority. Logan had tried to assure him it was just schoolwork he was doing and thankfully, the numerous notes he'd taken during his and Alex's study sessions seemed to satisfy him. For now, at least. 

Today, though, Matthew had flown into a fit of rage, as he usually did, and demanded that Logan leave for a few hours, claiming to be sick of the sight of him. Logan had done so immediately, not stopping to grab a jacket, and was dismayed when the rain started to fall, quite heavily too. But he couldn't go back - Matthew would hurt him if he did - so he wandered for a little bit, until he reached a coffee shop that didn't look too busy. Logan ducked inside, scrambling in his pockets for change so he could buy himself a drink, uncomfortably aware that people stared at him as his wet clothes dripped onto the floor.

Alexander Smythe

If the last few weeks had taught him anything, it was that you couldn't, and shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Doing so had ensured that Logan Anderson slipped under his radar, had him forming opinions about the other man without getting to know him, and had it not been for the project forcing them together, that would have continued. They had continued to spend time together, in increasing amounts, and all for the purpose of studying over the last few weeks and he'd found he was coming to enjoy Logan's company. He was insightful, and funny; and once you got past the robotic voice that spoke for him, he was surprisingly easy to talk to.

It was a typical Chicago Saturday afternoon; one which he'd planned to spend outside, until the sky opened up and he, his friends and Parker found themselves face being drenched, or take shelter. He pulled up outside a coffee shop relatively close to campus, and with his arm draped over Parker's shoulders, he led his crowd inside. He spotted Logan almost immediately and immediately frowned at his attire. He moved to join the queue, behind the other, and he reached out to touch his elbow lightly. He found he startled him whether he spoke or touched him and he'd decided to mimic the same touch every time in the hopes he might get used to it. 'Logan Anderson, what the fuck are you doing in weather like this without a coat, huh?' he asked.

Logan Anderson

Logan was still digging in his pockets for change, anything to buy himself a warn coffee, when someone touches his elbow. He startled at first, dropping the handful of coins he'd found and they rolled away. He turned and relaxed when he saw it was Alex. But he wasn't alone and he didn't know the people Alex was with, which made him nervous. Most people didn't seem to like Logan and the funny way he spoke. He'd been bullied all throughout high school and college wasn't fairing much better for him. His hands shook as he reached for his phone to type a reply.

"I got caught in the downpour as I was walking," it said and Logan chewed his bottom lip nervous, glancing between Alex and his friends. "So I came in here to get a drink and wait for the rain to stop. And warm up." Logan tried to give him a small smile but knew it wasn't convincing and he swallowed hard, bowing his head. He didn't add that Matthew had kicked him out and that he'd wandered around looking for a coffee shop that wouldn't be busy before he'd taken shelter from the rain. No, it was best to leave that part out.

Alexander Smythe

He heard Parker snigger as Logan typed furiously on his phone and Alex gave his shoulders a hard squeeze as though warning him to stop. 'You're a dope man. Don't leave the house without a jacket. Especially in September.' he pointed out, shaking his head. 'No boyfriend?' he asked, looking around. He was eager to meet the elusive Matthew that the other had mentioned on several occasions but who never seemed to be home when Alex dropped him off.

'Can't you talk like a normal person?' Parker chimed in, laughter in his voice. Alexander immediately flashed him a hard glare. 'Can you pretend you have a soul for like a fraction of a second babe? Don't be rude.' he warned him, his brow furrowed before softening as he turned back towards Logan. 'What are you having? It's on me.' he advised him, as he looked over his shoulder towards the waiting barista. 'I'll have a large Americano, little bit of soya milk. He'll have whatever your seasonal special is because he's that basic bitch and Lo?' he prompted, looking towards him. 'What are you after?'

Logan Anderson

Logan shook his head when Alex asked if Matthew was there, offering him a small smile. But then the person in Alex's arms spoke and Logan felt his cheeks turn a bright red. He bowed his head in shame and shook his head at the offer of a drink. He didn't feel much like staying, not if he was going to be laughed at. He'd just go outside instead and wander until Matthew message him to demand he came home. It was better than being mocked.

"I can pay," Logan said, even though he knew it wasn't true and what money he had was gone. "I was just going to get a medium drip with almond milk." He typed on his phone, still not looking at Alex and shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. "But I think I'll walk home. I don't mind the rain." Another lie, though this one was more obvious from his shivering.

Alexander Smythe

"No, absolutely not.' he insisted, shaking his head. 'I made you drop your cash so the least I can do is provide your coffee.' He placed Logan's order and he could feel Parker press a little closer to him, practically draping himself over him as his lips found their way to his neck. He swatted at him and muttered for him to chill out but he didn't push him away completely. 'And I'm not letting you walk home in that weather.' he continued, his attention and gaze returning solely to his project partner. 'We came in a couple of cars so I can drop you home. I can't have my favourite study buddy getting sick.' he explained brightly. 

As they moved to the end of the counter to collect their drinks, he grabbed the medium drip before removing himself from Parker's hold so he could lift his own. He handed the drink to Logan and offered him a genuine smile. 'Do you want to come and sit with us?' At his question, Parker quite literally stomped his foot and huffed out a sigh. 'I really don't want to sit with the freak baby.' he whined, twisting his arm back through Alex's. 'His voice creeps me out and he stares too much.'

Logan Anderson

Logan thanked Alex using his phone and offered him a small smile. He was uncomfortably aware that the people Alex was with didn't seem too pleased by his presence. And then the person Alex was with practically draped himself over him and kissed his neck, causing Logan to blush a little. He swallowed hard, arms wrapped around himself as a shivered and tried to make himself look as small as possible. He didn't like being around strangers and this was like torture for him.

He took the drink with a small nod of thanks and took a sip, sighing at the warmth immediately. He was about to type a reply on his phone when the stranger huffed and complained to Alex, insulting him in the process. Logan felt tears stinging his eyes and he lowered his gaze once more, shaking his head in response to Alex's question, though he didn't reply on his phone, feeling too afraid to do so.

Alexander Smythe

He felt caught between a rock and a hard place. Parker was a pretty decent lay; eager to please and pretty to look at. His attitude normally left a little to be desired but this most recent interaction was revealing a childish and petty nature that Alex couldn't stomach. in fact, the more he considered the situation, the easier his decision seemed. He shrugged out of Parker's hold and flashed him a glare. 'So why don't you go and sit over there?' he suggested, pointing to a table in the corner. 'And my friend Logan and I can see if we can find a table upstairs. Frankly, I'm not in any mood to be around you right now.' he said, his tone leaving little room for argument. Parker, obviously surprised by his response, tried to splutter some sort of explanation but Alex wasn't having it. He held his hand up to silence him. 'You can call me tomorrow if you decide to can act your age and not your shoe size.' he said simply.

He turned his attention back to Logan, reaching out to touch his elbow again. 'What do you say Lo? Fancy finding a table upstairs with me?'

Logan Anderson

Logan looked up when he heard Alex's sharp tone. He was sticking up for him? Really? He wiped his eyes quickly, not wanting the others to see him cry and watched Parker's disbelief as Alex reached out to touch his elbow again. The touch was familiar and he didn't shy away from it this time, not now he knew who it was. That, and he couldn't quite believe Alex had stuck up from the guy he was obviously involved with.

He nodded dumbly at the words and followed Alex up the stairs, barely able to remember to keep putting one foot in front of the other. No one had ever stuck up for him before. Not even his siblings in school. They just pretended not to notice Logan's bullying, leaving him more alone and afraid to talk than ever. It wasn't until they were sat down that Logan typed on his phone for the other man.

"Thank you. You really didn't have to do that, you know. Most people react like he did around me. But I really do appreciate what you did."

Alexander Smythe

'Then most people are fucking idiots.' he countered immediately, faint traces of his anger at Parker evident in his tone. He sighed, and shook his head. He reached across the table to give Logan's hand a squeeze. 'I'm sorry.' he said gently. 'I'm sorry he was such a fucking dick. He's not - Well, I've never seen him act like that before. Otherwise, I wouldn't have him hanging all over me.' he assured him. 'I stopped dating sixteen year olds when I was sixteen and that includes grown men who act like sixteen year olds.' he said firmly, then quickly added. 'Not that he and I are dating or anything.' He felt it was important to make that distinction.

He shrugged his jacket off his shoulders, and held it across the table to Logan. 'You should take that wet shirt off in the bathroom. You can wear this instead. Zipped up, no-one will even know you don't have a shirt on underneath. We can throw your shirt over the radiator there and let it dry before I drop you home later.'

Logan Anderson

Logan couldn't help but flinch at his tone, ducking his head for a moment. He looked up when he felt the hand take his and gave him a small, nervous smile, shaking his head. Alex didn't need to apologise, or to explain himself. It wasn't his fault he'd reacted in that way. Logan figured he should be used to it by now, it wasn't like he was normal anyway. His cheeks turned pink when Alex said they weren't dating and shrugged a little.

A small frown appeared as Alex took his jacket off, biting his lip. He was freezing, and he knew he was shivering lightly so he nodded. It would be nice to be warm and dry, he figured. With a small nod of thanks, Logan got to his feet and made his way to the bathroom. He changed quickly, not letting himself focus on the bruises that littered his torso as he zipped the jacket up. It was far too big for him and the sleeves came past his hands, but he was warmer and dry. Logan made his way back to Alex, setting his soaked shirt on the radiator to dry and settled back down with his coffee. He didn't roll the sleeves up, not wanting to crease the clothing, so let them fall past his hands as he drank his coffee slowly, starting to relax once again.

Alexander Smythe

Logan wasn’t a love interest, despite being an attractive man. He was obviously settled with his boyfriend and Alexander always respected a relationship. It didn’t stop him sucking in a breath and flashing him an approving grin when he saw him emerge from the bathroom wearing his jacket. There was something insanely hot about another guy wearing his clothes.

He chuckled when he sat opposite him and he realised just how long the sleeves were on him. ‘You’re adorable Lo.’ He teased, a fond smile forming from his chuckle. He waited until he’d put his coffee down before reaching across the table. He paused before he touched him with a ‘May I?’ but it was more of a warning rather than a request for permission. With careful precision he folded a sleeve back on itself until he could use his hands easily. He moved to repeat the pattern with the other sleeve but paused when he revealed Logan’s wrist; there was a large purple bruise. It looked recent and painful, ‘How on earth -‘ he shook his head. He turned his wrist over in his hands and gently traced over it with a fingertip. ‘You need to be careful Lo.’ He concluded after his brief examination. He sat back and looked over him before clumsily signing ‘Perfect’. ‘You can’t talk to me if you don’t have your hands’ he reminded him.

Logan Anderson

Logan's cheeks burned when he was called adorable and he swallowed hard. He gave a shy smile and shrugged, not quite believing his words. He frowned as the other reached for the sleeves of the jacket and began to fold them up so he could use his hands.

But then he felt the pressure on the bruise and gasped sharply, pulling his arm back. Tears burned his eyes and for a moment, he was terrified Alex would figure everything out. But his words about being careful told him that he thought it was an accident and relaxed a little.

Logan blinked in surprise when Alex signed perfect, albeit a little haphazardly. But it brought a smile to his face and he reached for his phone to type away. "When did you learn to sign?" He asked, tilting his head to the side a little. "I'm used to people just speaking at me."

Alexander Smythe

‘I figured you were making a big effort to talk to me as much as possible while we were working together that the least I could do was try to pick up a couple of things for you.’ He shrugged sheepishly. ‘I can say a couple of positive reinforcers, thank you and hello. That’s about all I could get from google before I was pulled away.’

He took a long drink of his coffee, a satisfied smile forming as the liquid almost burned his throat. ‘I just wanted you to know that I appreciate how much of an effort you’re making with me. I know I must make you nervous because I’m loud and touchy and over the top. I know talking to people is hard for you but you tried for me. I count you among my friends now and that’s the least I could do for one of my friends.’ He nodded. ‘The people who talk at you are missing out. Cause you’re a cool guy and you’ve got a lot of interesting things to say.’

Logan Anderson

Logan was surprised at Alex's words. He was doing this because Logan made the effort to talk to him? Everyone he'd met before just didn't do that. Matthew hadn't even bothered to learn sign language for him. He said it was too much effort.

Alex complimenting him had his cheeks flaming and he covered his face with his hands, embarrassed. He looked up after a moment, reaching for his phone so he could reply, though his hands shook a little as he did so.

"Thank you, Alex. I really appreciate that. You don't make me as nervous as you did before. I know you're loud but I like listening to you talk. Being touchy isn't an issue, I just get startled at sudden touches. But I count you as a friend too. So thank you."

Alexander Smythe

‘You also look exceptionally cute when you blush.’ He teased brightly. He looked across the table at him, almost studying him; he still seemed nervous judging by the way his hands trembled but what could he do but take him at his word? His eyes landed briefly on the bruise that looked so dark against his skin but they quickly returned to his face. ‘I’m glad that despite how uncomfortable I must make you sometimes, you still count me among your friends.’ He smiled. He held his mug up over the table as though to share a ‘cheers!’

Parker made his presence known then, petulantly standing at the top of the stairs with his arms crossed over his chest. ‘We’re all leaving now Alex. Some people want to go to the movies but I was thinking you and I could go back to your room -‘ he trailed off, punctuating his sentence with a wink. He made a point of looking the other man over. Regardless of his attitude, he was physically attractive and the sex was always incredible but then he glanced back to Logan. He waved Parker off. ‘No, I think I’m gonna stay here with Logan. I’ll need to drive him home later so I’ll call you when I’m free. If you manage an apology to my friend here.’ He remarked pointedly. The apology Parker offered didn’t seem real at all but he made it nonetheless before he stormed back downstairs, his mood evident.

‘I really am sorry about him y’know. He shouldn’t have talked to you like that.’ He apologised, fingers itching to reach over the table and take his hand. ‘I’ll talk to him properly later. Make him see sense and shit.’ He assured him.

Logan Anderson

Logan's face turned a brilliant shade of red once again at the compliment and he found he couldn't quite look up at Alex. Logan also raised his mug when the other did and took a long drink from it happily. But then he heard Alex's friend and looked up, before shrinking back into his chair. He was suddenly very aware that he was wearing Alex's jacket and tried to make himself look as small as possible.

The only word to describe Alex's friend was vulgar. He didn't want to think about the two of them in bed and he had an appalling attitude. There was a half-hearted apology before the man was going back downstairs, clearly in a foul mood. Logan rubbed at his eyes to try and will the tears away before looking up at Alex.

"Don't apologise," he typed onto his phone with a sad sigh. "I'm used to it. He's just one of many and it's something I deal with all the time. Don't worry yourself too much about it, Alex. It's okay."

Alexander Smythe

‘It doesn’t matter if you’re used to it.’ He insisted firmly. ‘And he’s not just one of many. He’s my - whatever and you’re my friend. He shouldn’t have ever spoken to you like that Logan and I’ll talk to him when I go home.’ He stood up and moved around to sit on the same side of the table as Logan. ‘Can I give you a hug?’ He asked.

Normally, he’d just have wrapped any other friend up in his arms but Logan was different. Especially because he’d just talked to him about how touching suddenly startled him.

He felt terrible for not having noticed Logan before. He felt terrible for having been oblivious to his friend’s suffering up until now. ‘I won’t stand for people talking to you like that. Not when I’m around y’know. You deserve someone to stand up for you.’

Logan Anderson

Logan lowered his head in embarrassment when Alex spoke, shifting a little. He was one of many, no matter what he said, and his attitude was something Logan had had for his entire life. He was used to this and used to people not wanting anything to do with him because of his lack of speech.

A hug. Alex wanted to give him a hug. He almost nodded before he remembered something Matthew had snarled at him. He wasn't to touch any other person unless it was a handshake or something similar. A hug was out of the question and if he ever found out... but Alex had been so sweet to him.

Despite the fear, Logan nodded and slowly wrapped his arms around Alex to hug him. He was surprised at how nice it felt and he sighed happily, holding him close for a moment before pulling away so he could respond.

"No one has ever stood up for me before," Logan typed with one hand. "I don't want you to if it's just going to cause you trouble or problems. Knowing I have a friend is enough."

Alexander Smythe

When Logan moved to wrap his arms around him, he immediately returned the gesture. His long arms draped easily around Logan's smaller form and he held him tight and close for as long as he was allowed.  He had time to think that Logan smelled incredibly good before the other was pulling away to type on his phone.

'Well, I wasn't your friend before.' he nodded resolutely. 'Being your friend doesn't cause me any problems. Parker is - Well, he's Parker. He's acting out because he's probably jealous of you. I won't let him call me his boyfriend so he's particularly on edge whenever there's a new, attractive person in my life.' he explained, trying to dismiss his concerns. 'Don't worry about him. I'll talk to him tonight and he won't say another word to you.'

Logan Anderson

Logan's blush wasn't going anywhere with Alex's compliments. His cheeks stayed pink and he shifted a little, looking a little uncomfortable. He typed on his phone again, avoiding looking directly at Alex.

"Why won't you let him call you his boyfriend? Sorry if that's really invasive, I'm just curious. If you like him, why not give it a go? He has no reason to be jealous of me though. He's much more attractive than I am and clearly more confident. If anything, I should be jealous of him."

Alexander Smythe

'It's not invasive but I think my answer is just going to have you blushing more.' he remarked, with a shrug. He made himself comfortable on the seat next to Logan, reclining back slightly and keeping his eyes on him. 'He's not really the boyfriend type. Neither am I but even if I were, he wouldn't be it. We're together because the sex is pretty good. We like the same things in bed and so the one night stand turned into a regular hookup.' he answered honestly. 'Don't put yourself down like that Lo. You're a great person. You're sweet. You're funny.' he listed off, 'And I haven't even mentioned just how hot you are?' he teased fondly.

Logan Anderson

Logan figured as much, but he couldn't help but ask. Some people just didn't enjoy relationships and that was okay. True, he was still blushing a little. But sex wasn't something that embarrassed him, not really. Alex calling him hot though? That had his cheeks flaming and he hid his face with his hands.

Eventually he peeked up at Alex again, if only so he could type on his phone, the embarrassment obvious on his face. "I'm glad you think I'm a good person," he said, running a hand through his curls. "I appreciate you saying that and being so kind to me. But I'm not confident like most people. It's often a turn off for people."

Alexander Smythe

'You need to stop thanking me for being kind. I hate that you feel like you have to value it so much. It says people haven't been kind to you and that - Well fuck Lo, that just breaks my heart. You deserve kindness.' He took the last mouthful of his coffee and reclined back a little more in his seat. He reached out and slowly moved to brush his fingers against Logan's reddened cheek. 'I seem to make you do this quite a lot.' he mused quietly. 'Forgive me if I think it suits you.' He pulled his hand away quickly and shook his head. 'Do you need to be back home for anything in particular or do you fancy doing something else after this?' he asked.

Logan Anderson

Logan almost laughed. People hadn't been kind to him. He didn't have friends, his boyfriend beat him constantly and his family were too invested in their own lives to care. Logan was a second thought, an afterthought and it was something he was used to. So when someone was kind to him, he felt like he had to thank him.

The fingers against his cheek had him shivering a little and he closed his eyes for a moment. Logan wasn't used to gentle touches and he had to admit, they were something he graced. Logan wasn't sure what to say when he asked if there was something he wanted to do after this and shrugged.

"I don't know. I mean... Matthew asked me to get out of the house for a bit. He has some things he's working through so it's best if I stay away while he doesn't. I probably won't go home for another couple of hours."

Alexander Smythe

'Well, since your boy is busy and mine is being unbearable to be around, why don't you come back to mine?' he suggested casually. The invitation had been made the first day he met Logan but as of yet, he hadn't taken him up on it. 'I live alone as you know, so no unfamiliar people.' he explained firstly, smiling brightly. 'And we don't even have to dwell on work of any kind. We can put our feet up and watch a movie.' He shrugged his shoulders and secretly hoped Logan would take him up on his offer He was keen to spend more time with him.

'I live close to campus, which I know if out of the way for you but I'll drive you back when the movie's done and Matthew's finished with whatever he's working on.' he promised.

Logan Anderson

Go back to Alex's? Matthew would definitely kill him if he found out. But it was certainly better than wandering around in the rain or hanging out alone in the coffee shop. So Logan was nodding before he'd even realised it, a dull blush working its way onto his cheeks. Hanging out and just being normal definitely sounded appealing to Logan. He'd like to just relax and watch a movie with his friend.

"Okay, yeah, that sounds good," he typed onto his phone, blushing just a little. "Do you want me to give you your jacket back and change into my shirt, or wait until we're at yours? I don't mind either way, Alex. I'd like to hang out with you."

Alexander Smythe

He smiled brightly. 'Great! That's great.' At first, he thought he'd be friendly towards the other man because honestly, he felt sorry for him and figured he deserved something of a friendly face. But the more time they'd spent together, he'd come to actively want to spend time with him.

'No, no. Keep my jacket on. It's still raining outside and I can't have you catching your death of cold.' he insisted, standing up from his seat and holding his hand out to Logan. 'You can borrow something else of mine when we get to my place and I can throw all your wet clothes in the dryer.' he offered, giving him an enthusiastic grin. 'C'mon. My car is just outside.'

Logan Anderson

Logan nodded, tugging at the jacket a little and reaching for his shirt on the radiator, tucking it under his arm so it would at least be a little protected from the rain. He could hardly believe they were dong this but Logan reached for Alex's hand, giving him a small smile and nodding again at the offer of borrowing some clothing from Alex. Sure, it'd be much too big for him, like the jacket, but at least he'd be warm and dry.

Logan followed the other out of the coffee shop, pulling the hood of the jacket over his head to protect himself - and mainly his glasses - from the rain. It was easy, to climb into Alex's car, in the dry, just as he had the first time they'd met up properly. Only this time, instead of Alex dropping him home, they were going back to his. "It must be quite nice to live on your own," Logan typed into his phone as he buckled his seatbelt and sat back in the seat. "I like being alone so it'd probably be perfect for me."

Alexander Smythe

'I like having my freedom for the most part. I like my space and having the luxury to invite people in and kick them out as I please.' he replied. 'I think it keeps me sane. I'm normally surrounded by people so it's nice to have a little escape y'know?'

His apartment wasn't far from the coffee shop. In fact, had it not been for the rain, he wouldn't have driven there at all. He pulled up outside the building, and entered the code at the front door. 'It's four-four-six-two.' He told Logan as he held the door for him. 'Just in case you ever need to get in.' He wasn't sure what exactly made him tell him but it seemed like the right thing to do. His apartment was on the ninth floor and he led him to the elevator; then on to his door. 'Mi Casa es su casa. Or whatever it is they say. Make yourself comfortable. I'll go find some clothes for you, let you get changed and then we can pick a movie.' he nodded, 'or hey, DVDs are under the TV and it's already logged into Netflix and Amazon so have a scroll while I find something for you to wear if you want.'

Logan Anderson

Logan was silent as they drove - it didn't take long and he was surprised when Alex pulled up quickly and they ducked into the building. He blinked in surprise when he was told the code to the door but nodded and made a mental note of it. Maybe he'd never need to use the code, but just in case, right? That was why Alex had told him. Logan followed him without a word and looked around when they entered the apartment on the ninth floor, allowing himself to look impressed. It was nice, spacious, certainly nicer than his and Matthew's cramped, run-down apartment, but it was still cosy and Logan liked it.

Alex mentioned finding clothes for him and Logan nodded, making his way to the DVD collection and skimming through them. He settled on Harry Potter, obviously, and stood waiting for the other to return with dry clothes. "I really like your apartment," he typed on the phone for Alex, blushing a little as he did so. "It's nice. And it looks really home-y. I like it."

Alexander Smythe

He returned with a pair of sweatpants that he knew would probably be too big, and a long sleeved t-shirt that was probably on the smaller side for him. 'Here you go.' he smiled, depositing them into Logan's arms. 'There's a bathroom just over there, or you can change in my room which is up there.' he explained, pointing him to both rooms. 'I'm glad you like the place.' he grinned brightly. 'I have to confess, I didn't do all the decorating myself. My sister helped. She's a dab hand at this sort of stuff.' he laughed.

He took the DVD and shook his head fondly. 'I should have known you'd be a Potterhead.' he winked. 'Go get yourself comfortable and I'll set this up.'

Logan Anderson

Logan took the clothes from Alex, nodding his thanks to him. He looked to where he pointed and nodded again, smiling genuinely at the other. Alex had a sister? That was something that hadn't been mentioned before and he couldn't help but smile, watching as he took the DVD and commented, unable to stifle a small giggle. He made his way into the bathroom - it seemed the most appropriate place to get changed rather than Alex's bedroom - and locked the door before undressing. He took in his bruised appearance in the mirror over the sink and wrinkled his nose, poking at one of the bruises on his chest. But then he'd readjusted his glasses and dressed in the clothes Alex had given him. They were far too big and hung off his body, but they were warm.

Logan made his way back through the apartment and to Alex, giving him a small smile and reaching for his phone so he could speak. "I didn't know you hd a sister," was the first thing he said, biting his lip. "I guess there's still lots we don't know about each other. But she has a good eye for interior design, I love it in here," Logan admitted with a smile, settling on the sofa and bringing his knees to his chest, curling up comfortably. "You're clearly a Potterhead too, Alex. You're the one who has all the DVDs there."

Alexander Smythe

'I do. Haven't I mentioned her before? She'd clip me round the back of the head if I haven't.' he laughed, grabbing the remote and settling himself on the couch next to Logan; almost close enough to touch but not quite. 'I'm actually a triplet. I have a brother too; Sebastian. He's in New York, and my sister, Lucie is in Atlanta. She's the real brains of the family; she's at Emory studying pre-med.' he told him proudly. 'Hush up you.' he winked, throwing his arm over the back of the sofa. 'Really though, good choice. I do love these movies.' he nodded before pressing play. 'And hey, just let me know if you want a drink or something to eat.' he whispered as the music started.

Logan Anderson

Logan shook his head. Alex had never mentioned any of his siblings and he found himself listening to his every word eagerly. The fact he was a triplet had him smiling widely and he shifted a little closer to Alex, letting their shoulders brush against each other as he typed again.

"You're a triplet? How funny. I have a twin brother, Blaine. He's like the musical genius. And an older brother, Cooper. He's... an actor. He tries," Logan typed with a small grin. "He's in Los Angeles pursuing his career and Blaine is in New York. He wants to be on Broadway." He shrugged his shoulders. Logan was proud of his siblings but since they'd gone to separate colleges, it was difficult for them to get together often, especially as Matthew rarely liked Logan going home for the holidays. It'd been months since he'd seen his family, but now was not the time to dwell.

Logan nodded at the offer of food and drink but didn't take it. Instead, he got comfortable next to Alex, eventually feeling relaxed enough to sit beside him properly, watching the screen closely. He'd always loved these movies, these books, but he was exhausted and it didn't take long for him to slip into a light doze, head resting on Alex's shoulder.

Alexander Smythe

He couldn't help but smile, noticing every time Logan slipped closer to him but he kept his gaze firmly on the screen. He didn't want to make him uncomfortable by pointing out the fact. He felt his head fall against his shoulder, and without thinking he pressed a kiss against his forehead, confident that he was in a deep enough sleep. 'Sweet dreams Lo.' he whispered quietly.

He could feel himself drifting over as the movie continued, and he didn't fight it in the slightest. His arm fell from the back of the couch, around Logan's shoulders and his eyes fell closes as he drifted into a nap of his own.

Logan Anderson

Logan wasn't sure how long he slept for. All he knew was that when he woke, he was stiff and his neck ached from being in such  cramped position. He blinked his eyes open, glasses slightly askew and pushed them back up his nose, looking around the unfamiliar room. It took him a few minutes to remember exactly where he was - still in Alex's apartment, the movie they had put on long forgotten, the menu back on the screen. He'd clearly slept through it and Logan sat up with a low groan, reaching for his phone so he could check the time. He let out a loud yelp when he saw the number of text messages and missed calls he had from his boyfriend.

Shit.

Logan got to his feet, clearly panicking and shook Alex awake gently, trying not to let his fear show on his face as he typed to him. "I have to go," was all he said at first, gathering his things. He'd forgotten he was in Alex's clothes, his own still in the bathroom drying out. "I should have been home hours ago. Matthew is going to be so worried. Thank you for letting me come over and thank you for keeping me company. I really have to go. I'm sorry. Shit, I'm sorry, Alex."

Alexander Smythe

He woke with a start, feeling someone shake his shoulder. Then the robotic voice he associated with Logan filled his ears and he sat up, rubbing his eyes. 'Shit man. I'm sorry. I totally didn't mean to fall asleep. Take a breath; it's alright.' he soothed, reaching out to hold his shoulders to keep him still. 'Why don't you go into the bathroom and get changed back into your clothes?' he suggested. 'I'll make sure all your stuff is together and then I'll drive you home. I'm sure your boy will understand.' He grinned, giving his shoulders a light squeeze.

Logan Anderson

Logan was panicking and he couldn't hide the fear from his face. He let out a little whine when Alex moved to hold him still by grabbing his shoulders and he looked up at him, breathing heavily. Oh, he was still wearing the other's clothes. He gave a shaky nod at his words, clearly nervous, and hurried into the bathroom. He changed in record time and was back by Alex's side in less than three minutes, shifting from foot to foot nervously.

"I have to get back soon," he typed on his phone trying to make it seem like he wasn't panicking, but knowing in his heart he was failing at this. "I promised I'd cook tonight and he's going through a lot at the moment. I don't want to let him down."

Alexander Smythe

Logan looked frightened. It was written on his face and he wasn't sure how to address it. 'It's okay Lo. I've worked out the fastest route to your place by now. You'll be home in no time.' He promised him, reaching for his hand. He gave it a squeeze and led him out of the apartment and back towards his car. 'Do you want me to call a take-out place? We can pick up dinner on the way there and I'll personally apologise to Matthew for keeping you.' he offered as he started the car.

Logan Anderson

Logan took his hand, hesitating for a moment. He didn't look up until Alex spoke again, shaking his head quickly at the suggestion. God, couldn't let Alex meet Matthew. There was no saying what his boyfriend would do if they met. He didn't trust him not to say anything. Matthew was careful when around others to make sure no one would notice how violent their relationship was. But he'd probably insult Alex or something.

"No, it's fine," Logan typed on his phone, climbing into Alex's car and shifting in his seat nervously. "I have everything ready for the meal I was going to cook, though I'm sure he's made something else now. I'll cook for him tomorrow and just apologise for being useless. You don't have to apologise to him, I'm the one who fell asleep. It's okay."

Alexander Smythe

'Hey, fuck that. You're not useless Logan.' He'd turned the keys in the ignition but he turned the car off again and turned in his seat to look at the other man. 'Are you sure you want to go home Lo?' he asked tentatively. He couldn't put all the pieces together in his head but Logan didn't look happy about going home. He looked frightened, unsure and to hear him offer to apologise for being useless was the last nail in the coffin. He couldn't not say something. He didn't know how to ask if something was wrong, if there was a problem with his relationship. He could be totally offbase and he didn't want to lose the friendship he had been building over the last few weeks. 'I just - If there's something wrong, I could help you. If you need help.'

Logan Anderson

Logan was taken aback when Alex turned the car off again and looked at him. He bowed his head at the question and nodded, unsure why he was asking. He was fine. But he knew Alex was suspicious of something and he kept his gaze low as he typed quickly at his phone. He couldn't let the other suspect anything. That wouldn't do well for any of them.

"I'm fine, Alex. I don't know why anything would be wrong, I'm just frustrated at myself for not doing something nice for my boyfriend when I said I would," his phone said out loud, though Logan kept his head low. "I want to go home so I can make up for my mistake. I promised him I'd do something nice and I messed it up, so I'm just frustrated at myself."

Alexander Smythe

He looked him over, studying his appearance. He wanted to push him more. That's what his gut was telling him to do. Something didn't seem quite right but how could he tell him he thought he was lying? He supposed it was possible he'd misread the whole situation and Logan was frustrated at himself rather than frightened. He breathed out slowly and his brow furrowed in a frown. 'If you say so Logan. But I just - I had to ask.' he said finally, turning his attention back to the front of the car. He started the ignition and drove out of the space. 'But you're not fucking useless okay? Don't take about yourself like that again.' he insisted firmly.

The drive to Logan's apartment passed in relative silence. He felt a little awkward on the journey back. He'd had to ask the question but it had made the atmosphere seem tense, heavy.

Logan Anderson

Logan almost rolled his eyes at Alex's words. He was useless, he knew that. His anxiety wouldn't let him speak, wouldn't let him do anything, He was a useless boyfriend, he couldn't even get a job so Matthew was the one providing for everything. He never made it through the interview stage and people gave up on him. But he didn't speak, looking out of the window as they drove. He watched as they drove past his apartment building, convinced he could see Matthew in the entrance. Well shit.

But Alex stopped outside what he thought was his house and Logan looked forwards once again, trying to act normal. He gave the other a genuine smile. "Thank you for today," he typed, looking at Alex properly. "I really appreciate it. What you said to your friend, and letting me borrow your clothes. Everything... Thank you."

Alexander Smythe

'Don't mention it Lo. Friends remember?' Alex reminded him, giving him a small smile. He leaned across him to open the door, as had become something of a running joke and he winked, hoping to return to the familiar easy banter they'd shared before. 'Make sure you come sit by me in class tomorrow yeah? I'll save you a seat.'