#i get things done much faster now
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not to be an annoying boomer but you all need to free yourselves from tiktok
#i deleted it a couple months ago#and i feel so much better! genuinely!#i already have trouble focusing and tiktok would get me stuck doom scrolling for HOURS#i get things done much faster now#and i spent more time actually like. thinking#i enjoyed my time there. i saw some funny memes and i found communities of queer and neurodivergent people who made me feel more accepted#but ultimately it was doing more harm than good#and there’s sooo much misinformation#tiktok#twitter#social media#mental health
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Howdy My Beloved
(I’m so down bad for him it’s horrifying)
LMAOOO mostly mutual howdy love
speaking of howdy iv been seein cowboy/Wild West aus for welcome home and I decided to dip my toes in it a lil while I was hyper KXHDGDH
cw poorly drawn guns and messy sketches
I was just gunna make Home a sheriff’s buildin’, but I thought it would be cooler if he was a big bad spooki
also howdy’s lil bugdega is both a convenient store and a restaurant/bar (same building, all shopping stuff at the front while the restaurant is in the back) howdy can make a mean beef n cheddar KDHHFH
#Welcome home#welcome home howdy#welcome home wally#welcome home barnaby#welcome home home#howdy pillar#wally darling#barnaby b beagle#yeehaw#Also Funfact#Iv been gettin a lot of people asking me how I draw so much in such lil time#It happened last year and now this year JDHDHDJ#But I have a thing where if I get extremely hyper focused on something I basically draw-stim#It’s a huge itch that I gotta draw SOMETHING#And if I don’t it plagues me#Up side to it I consistently post like twice a day with multiple doodles and I don’t get bored by it#Downside I wanna play monster hunter so bAD BUT MY BRAIN WONT L E T M E#Thankfully my sketching has gotten a lot faster throughout the years so I’m able to put all my dum lil ideas down#And still have time to play games I wanna play and get stuff done
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I'm so close...... NY!Hrid is at +9. One more and I can drop the game.... I just love him so much and this alt is so happy and I need it for him...
#fe heroes#hrid#man i was looking back at my hrid art and i wanted to reblog some of it but then im like#mm nah most of my followers have seen it i wont force it upon them again#but i really do love hrid so uh here im so close to being done but i have to grind orbs#because my luck is abysmal right now as i glare at the red he shares with his sister#as i stare at the singular reds that drain my orbs just a bit faster than multiple reds#i mean GRANTED im at least GETTING reds but still#wild to me that i pulled a ny unit on his banner as a four star special after pulling her on her rerun banner#like i didnt already have her .... and it wasnt a red#so at least my pity wasnt broken by it but still wild that i pulled a ny rerun hero on a ny rerun banner that wasnt hers#i think i actually traded a couple of ny!gunns for feathers previously bc i keep pulling her instead of hrid#this alt is so much fun and i love it for him he deserves it ! since is doesnt want to acknowledge him otherwise#i say as i stare at last years summer banner casually name dropping him to say#wow sure is a shame hrid isnt here with us - maybe he will be next year#let hrid have nice things 2024 challenge
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Giant cornplate post here but I'll get my thoughts out anyways. I really like how even visually Mac and Winn are contrasting yet similar. Winn's main color is yellow and Mac's is purple, which are contrasting colors. Yet, they both wear green. And then both of them having glasses but they're different shapes (circle vs square). and ouuughhoguhgh. theyre good friends. i like them.
#clemramble#sorry this is a massive cornplate post . idc. ive posted my thoughts privately and now you all get to hear them#i always wonder if the color choices were done on purpose. i mean winns is obviously. being based off the windows logo#but macs based off a dutch bunny and not the macOS logo . soi always ponder if the purple was an active choice or if it was just coincidenc#not that itd change anything if it was or wasnt . their designs are clemheaven to me anyways#but yeah . you could also write about the same thing with their personalities#mainly in the way they talk in broadcasts. from what i interpret winns a lot more nervous and more casual whereas mac is well. its mac#i also think its funny that despite being nervous and stuttery winn gets to the point faster than mac. like if you read an alarming rate of#aptitude. mac takes 15 years to get to the point which is one reason it gets cut off so easily#and then in the hires and heroes blogpost it goes to do that again and then gets interrupted by winn#but even then winn does sometimes go off tangent just a tiny bit but is much more eager to get back to the point. i presume because of bein#nervous#i just think its all so good. i think they play off of each other in a funny way but not one that would be annoying to either of them#something something. contrasting enough to be different but similar enough to be best friends#sorry this is a kind of long tag post about mac and winn. i just like them alot and i need to get that out there. i hope you all can enjoy#my thoughts#...even if they turn out to be wrong.
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Flat colored thigh-up sketch commission for @sunnetrolls ! I had so much fun drawing this dude, he looks so serene here.. i cant help but add the glowing silhouette and halo combo Especially for this well-loved magical dude
#artists on tumblr#homestuck#fantrolls#hiveswap#Gabriel's arts#commission#scars#scarring#ask to tag#okay yes i m doing the thing again where i emphasize RBs would be greatly appreciated#but to be fair i put SO much love and hard work into this piece and i love how he turned out ; o ; <33#TYSM SUNNE AGAIN FOR ALL YOUR PTIENCE. THE PAST 6 MONTHS HAVE BEEN ROUGH#BUT NOW THAT IVE HAD AT LEST A MONTH OF HEALING TO RECOVER FROM MY PREDICMENT. I CAN GET BACK TO COMMS. AUGH#i woulda been done faster if i didnt have dnd but anyways. LOOK at this grndpa
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My scene skeleton/expanded outlines for this fic are starting to get a bit out of hand.
Actual, written first drafts of the first two chapters:
Me pre-writing the next three chapters:
#greywip#so you can see#going about the same as chance encounters#halp#i want to write this faster than the ten months it took for that one to get done#i can't believe the outline for chapter 6 is longer than the actual word count of the finished first chapter#there's fifteen total beats i have written down#and so that's looking like probably at least sixteen chapters#and i've tried to shorthand and change things enough so it's shorter and still#*cries*#outlander!theron au#hilariously every time i finish one of these scene skeletons i'm like 'oh god now i want to write it'#and then i'm like 'okay then write it'#and my brain is like 'no didn't you just see how much i wrote? i'm on a break'#it's all horribly self-indulgent and so angsty dear lord#like every single one of these chapters is just either ust or something cutesty with the otp or them being little angst gremlins#and i haven't even gotten to the 'theron makes yet another incredibly stupid decision' part#someone's having fun and it's certainly not them#gif
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something Ive noticed with the new tablet is that I can now draw for 20 minutes straight without absolutely destroying my hand
#I think the pain might have been because of my really short felt pen nibs#doing lines took a lot more effort and made me hold my wrist weird#so thats definitely on me#but with the new one I can really see the improved pen pressure#painting feels and looks so much easier now#I can also actually use my tablet as a mouse with no problem!!#my old one would make my mouse zoom away if the pen wasnt close enough to the tablet#I also couldnt always click on things and the scroll wouldnt work#this pen is honest to god a fully functioning mouse I cant believe it#I can get so much more done much faster im so happy#10/10
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akhdlsbalaab
#GOD NO I'M TRYIN TO HELP MY ROOMMATE STAY MOTIVATED AND THE ONLY WAY SHE DOES IS IF I PROMISE TO SHOW HER MY FANART AKDBAKGALAHA#SHES GETTING SO MUCH DONE NOW THO WHYYYY#IF I PANIC-ULT AND DEACTIVATE THIS WILL BE WHY /hj#the deal is the faster she gets things done the higher the level of cringe she gets to see ahkxvalavalavala#I better be reborn a cat in the next life with these brownie points istg#delete later
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...
#the closer i get to moving the more i dont wanna do annnnnnything#i just wanna pack everything and then leave. ive packed half my stuff. tsken down all my posters#but i still have like 10 days left ugh. time needs to move faster 😩#i dont wanna work tho bleh. and i fucking agreed to do some extra stuff#so now i have to fucking get all my data together. analyze a million pictures with this weird software and upload a million pics from like#at least 2 or 3 past projects. and i have to name those. except i dont want to name them all fuck that#i am not going to have time. it will take literally days. get a fucking undergrad to do it i have better things to do with my time#ugh. im just mad bc its hot and my joints r swollen and my abductor is irritated so i have to take it easy#fuck that. i hate it. bleh i wanna draw. but there r other things i should do#im such a slacker now. and by slacker i mean im working normal hours and goofing off the rest of the time#and by goofing off i mean drawing and packing and reading#god. when the semester starts its gonna b insane bc theres no way ill b done with work stuff so ill have to start my phd while double timin#on paper writing. its gonna fucking suck. which is y i shoulf b working rn so i dont have to do that so much#but again. i dont wanna work. i just wanna lay here and track my heart palpitations. its fine. im just in transition which is really#fucking annoying >:-(#unrelated#also i wanna rewatch p4cific rim but its not on any of my streaming services anymore >:-(((
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perhaps also related to the fact that i am scheduled to close this weekend with the person who was apparently laughing about how a year ago there was a supervisor chat without me Specifically for the purpose of shit talking me
and im supposed to treat her graciously after that? get Fucking real.
#speculation nation#negative/#like. i will. i'll treat her politely as is expected of me working with someone i dont like#even though that wasn't a courtesy extended to me by the people last year. including her apparently!#i dont know why she's come back. i want to gut her like a fish.#i dont think i mentioned that but i learned a few weeks ago that she was laughing about this to a few employees#who called her out for it. which makes me feel very grateful to them.#how fucking immature though. resorting to bullying and ostracizing in a workplace environment.#this was the bullshit that had me fucking Sobbing bc of it all. and you're Laughing about it?#you saw the day that girl screamed at me & how i cried for a half hour straight in storage#until i finally pulled myself together enough to work (though i was still next to tears for Hours)#me. a person who cries Maybe 4 times a year. if even. it had me struggling that hard to not cry.#and this is Funny to you? it's Funny that i was treated like that? just because you all didnt like me bc i was Too Confrontational?#a: im as confrontational as i need to be to avoid problems festering. as a grown fucking adult should be.#and b: even if you didnt like me that's still fucked UP#what the fuck is WRONG with you people??????? why do you take so much glee from my pain?#and again. in a fucking place of work. i know it's food service but Please. have some basic fucking professionalism.#i dont know how im supposed to get through this shift. im so fucking angry at it all.#the anger and frustration has been cycling faster and faster in my heart and i want to Hurt Things but there's nothing im allowed to hurt#so what am i to do? how do i get rid of this feeling? i know what ive done in the past but im not allowed to do that now#with nothing to do im just blasting this fucking song. maybe if i play it loud enough it'll fix me.
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progress report: i'm like 1/2 finished with this gifset ! :'D
again if you guys have work playlists you use or just. regular playlists you should give them to me i'm exhausting my reserves
#i started working on it kind of concurrently with insane yok but#i immediately realized i didn't know how to do what i was trying to do LMAO#so i kind of put it on hold for a while#and now we're back again#and i've figured out the process so it's going much faster#but it's been a few days.#depending on how long i'm up tonight#i.... could get done? maybe?#i don't know though don't count on it#i'm being vague on purpose because i'm really. :') hoping it goes over well#i think the beginning looks Super Cool and. like things i didn't think i could do hehe#rowan chatter
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it’s funny, cuz when i was finishing pokemon shield to help with dex completion in sword, i was able to finish it in like....less than a week. but trying to beat violet for dex completion in scarlet is like....taking forever cuz there’s so much more STUFF that needs to be done...
#it's kinda exhausting#i mean it's great having so much to do!#but also like....idk maybe it's a problem with video game culture now or just being on the internet#the same thing is happening with totk where like#there's so MUCH and i want to experience it all in my own time#but i feel like i have to play faster so nothing is spoiled for me#because so many people just...spread information all the time#i saw a screenshot of some characters that i havent even met yet and it was just like....#oh....ok.........i guess that got spoiled for me.....#i had to play scarlet so quickly because i wanted to get the story done before it was spoiled for me#idk now i'm sad....
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Rantrantrant
#paralyzed by fear of going to the doctor while my body is like actively going to shit#I’ve been having weird nerve shit for awhile now that I’ve been neglecting to get looked at#shit that should have had me running to a doc ages ago#but I keep making up shit in my head like oh pinched nerves pinched nerves#and maybe that is what it is but why haven’t I gone to the doctor yet#I’m fucking miserable I like can’t get comfortable#my nerves are twitching and I’m scared to know why#and not doing anything about it is actively making it worse#and even before the nerve fuckery I’ve got going on rn I had other things I’ve been ignoring or putting off#I never did get that fucking MRI#how much anxiety would I have saved myself had I done that years ago#paralyzed by my own fear and making myself so much fearful for it the longer I wait#I’m just so scared at this point I’ll get that MRI and be told the worst news#been living with that dread for years and it gets worse the more I wait and push this off#and I’ve said so many times I’d finally go get it done#I even got referrals for it last year#and then I didn’t and now I’m back to being scared shitless and things are getting worse#my left arm won’t stop twitching I’ve just got skin crawling sensations like crazy#it could just be a pinched nerve in my neck I’ve fucked up my neck so bad this last month#but why am I not looking into it faster why am I like this#I’ve just reached a point of being afraid I go to the doctor and get those tests done and get told that#putting everything off has doomed myself in some way#and I’m putting it off and making it worse to avoid that and it’s a self defeating cycle#just years spent waiting for the bad news to drop and running from it#I know this isn’t sustainable and I need to do something#I’m just so fucking tired and scared just always scared scared of myself and what’s in my body making me feel like shit#and of knowing what it is#I gotta force myself to go to the doc before the end of august#this thing with my arm and the nerve twitches in. general it’s the straw breaking the camels back#and the back should’ve broken a long time ago
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no one cares but like anyway lol i complain a lot about how slow and old my car is and the dumb weird issues ive had with it but also I love it and every once and a while i like look online for ones for sale and im like 🥺 theyre so cute I just wish they were a bit better made and more powerful.
#it makes me like awwwfjfjsj when mine dies I would get another one. if I werent afraid of it having problems and if it werent for the fact#that i can get a much faster car probably. but like at least I know the problems the car is prone to now#like i have to give mine credit it runs great still at 200k but its like. after a new transmission and many stupid repairs on weird things#but bc ive done all that maintenance im like 🤞 maybe she’ll keep going a lot longer#to be fair mine is also the 4 cylinder so the v6 ones are probably better but i still hear theyre slow lol
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#setting a tentative release date for the pokemon video for next friday#i've done everything up to gen 5 and now all i need are the gen 6 7 8 and 9 sections#which sounds like a lot but i didn't have as much to say with some of those so they're kinda short comparatively and it was towards the end#of the writing so i skimped a little to hopefully get the video out faster#and also like the later pokemon games are just too fucking big to fully cover#i am like holy fuck dude i cannot cover those the way i covered the ds games#but yeah i think next friday hopefully. no matter when i finish i want it to release on a friday so people have time to watch it#not that i expect to have a huge audience but i love friday release videos bc they're a fun way to end the week#i do feel like i've gotten through the worst of it though and i feel very close to being done properly.#also. i do believe i cooked with this. i know its self aggrandizing but i watched what i had back today and it fucking rules imo#still very excited to post this thing when it's done. its going to be very good
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man i remember being in the hospital & there being some commotion about my hemoglobin (6.5 (around half of what's normal)) and being asked if i was alright w getting a blood transfusion & at that point i was so tired i was just like "yeah sure whatever gimme the blood" & i was aware that it was happening but also i was so wiped that i genuinely Did Not Care. i probably would have been more concerned if i hadn't been falling asleep trying to eat but
& i was talking about it on discord to some friends & one of them was like "watch out bc blood transfusions tend to make me feel like shit" and it might've but also. i already felt like shit i was one (1) day out from back surgery and had been dealing with some Impressive Ass Blood Loss for a good 20 hours, i didn't really notice beyond realizing i wasn't dizzy as fuck and tired anymore (well. with the exception of what the IV medication was doing to me anyway.)
& man it gave me an odd first experience w surgery. i was fucking astonished when they let me go a little while after i woke up from my cyst removal. and it hurt way less. like i remember grumbling about the pain while i was coming up from anesthesia (and being able to remember that is kinda bizarre. i mostly laid there shuffling a cup of water between my hands and mumbling) and the nurse asking if i wanted something, & i could've gone without but. she was offering! so i accepted some medicine (IV i believe, i don't think i took any capsules but i could be wrong) and then went back to mumbling at myself for a bit. & then they just. let me get back in my day clothes and Leave? bizarre. seeing as i had a Tube (of the fallopian variety) removed. the ride back kinda sucked even though i was on like 2 different anti-nausea medications (i did not get sick. but it did suck.)
#thorn post#overall not a fun experience but like. not the worst i've ever had#again mostly bc the IV medication was uh. impressive#also it was just the one tube. i had two now i have one. works just the same#also i talk abt this semi often mostly bc like. idk. i like talking about it#who knows. at least it's knowledge#also if you want to write your blorbos getting back surgery like. i have Answers. to Many Questions.#what's the surgery time like? (8 hours but mine was extensive as hell. depends on how much is getting done)#what's the hospital stay like? (they usually keep you for a few days at least until you can walk a decent distance.)#(this happens faster than you'd think)#how's recovery? (annoying as fuck but not the most unbearable thing ever)
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