#i go out with friends for one day and im falling asleep on the bus lets not

[watchmegetobsessed]

LOVE AND TOUR

A/N: im so excited to post this fic bc *drum roll* it's a collab with @harrysfolklore !! the post tour depression is still kicking our butts so we decided to team up for a story that features LOT! hope you guys will like it and as always, make sure to head over to her blog to check out her fic that features all social media posts for this story!

WORD COUNT: 5.1k

SUMMARY: Y/N and Harry were once friends, but his career pulled them apart. Then in 2019 Harry decides to invite her to ONO London and so their story begins or more like continues.

MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

2010

The handmade banner hanging over the white board in the classroom is crooked and two balloons have popped already. The sign reads ‘Good luck, Harry!’ and every letter is a different color. The desks and chairs were pushed to the side to make room in the middle and the teacher’s desk is full of snacks and drinks the kids brought in for the little impromptu party the class decided to throw before Harry’s big day.

He is going to his big X Factor audition this weekend and though he is not convinced he will make it, everyone in school is rooting for him. If anyone deserves the success it’s Harry, the goofy, kind boy who makes everyone smile and always helps whenever he can.

The soon-to-be rockstar is mingling with his friends and classmates, music is playing in the background and the chatting is nonstop. Everyone keeps asking Harry if he’s nervous or ready or which judge he is afraid of the most. He tries his best to talk to everyone and be everywhere, though he keeps an eye on one specific girl.

Y/N has been staying in the back for most of the time, sipping on some soda, listening to her friend as he enjoys the spotlight. She’s been friends with Y/N for quite some time, they live just a street away from each other, they often bike to school together and whenever one of them is sick the other one can be expected to show up at their house with the homework.

Good friends. That’s what they are. But deep down, Y/N is definitely feeling more than just friendship towards the curly haired boy who is now set to step his foot on the road to fame.

When the party is over and everyone has headed home already, Harry and Y/N are the last ones to walk out of the school’s building.

“So, be honest, are you nervous?” she asks as they are walking home , pushing their bikes this time. Harry said he hurt his ankle at PE today so he better not get on the bike, but in reality… he is just trying to spend more time with Y/N. 

“Kind of, yeah,” he admits with a chuckle.

“I’m sure you will crush it.”

“You think so?”

“I know so,” she smiles at him and his heart skips a beat. 

Harry has been trying to work up his courage to ask Y/N out since probably the sixth grade, but he just never got to the point. Now he tells himself that if he gets into X Factor she will see him in a different light and that’s when he should ask her out, but little does he know he doesn’t need to be in a talent show to have her like him enough to want him.

Reaching her house she wishes him good luck and even hugs him before he waves goodbye and continues his way home. Y/N stands by their front door and watches him get farther away, hoping that whatever happens that weekend won’t change their friendship.

2013

The tour bus is quiet, everyone is asleep. Everyone, except Harry. 

Lying in his bunk bed, his face is illuminated by his phone as he aimlessly scrolls on his social media apps, checking out posts by fans, reading news, just killing time. He knew he shouldn’t have had a nap earlier, because now it will be way too late by the time he can fall asleep and won’t be rested enough when they arrive in the next city. 

He opens up Instagram and goes through his feed, he posts a picture he took of the crowd at the show the other day and then watches the likes flood in like crazy. 

Going back to his feed he goes through his friends’ posts, it’s just the usual, parties, vacations, hanging out, everyone seems to be living their life even though Harry often feels like time has stopped since he’s gotten on the road. 

He can feel himself growing sleepier and he is just about to put his phone down when he comes across a post that wakes him up.

Y/N is not one to post often, she is not like most girls he knows who want to share every and any moment of their life. Last time she uploaded something was probably weeks ago. This time she was snapped in her graduation gown, her hair flowing in the movement flawlessly and he recognizes her parents’ home in the background. It totally slipped Harry’s mind that in a life he left behind graduation was happening these days. 

He scrolls down to the caption and all it says is “Soon” and then a crown emoji. It’s enough for him to know she’s going to King’s College London, that’s what she always dreamed about and it seems like she hasn’t changed her mind.

Before he could think about it, he double taps on the picture liking it, completely oblivious to how fans can see his activity and they instantly start guessing about who the girl is whose graduation photo was liked by Harry Styles.

2014

The screaming intensifies wherever Harry goes on the stage, he is jumping and shaking his long hair to the music while his bandmates are singing ‘Steal My Girl’ and the girls are going crazy, the energies are insane, Harry loves performing, this is truly his element. 

He’s been on the road for what feels like forever and if you asked him what day it was, he would have no idea. It’s a miracle he knows which city he is currently in.

Walking to the side of the stage he stops for a moment right before the bridge that’s his part. He lifts his mic to his lips and starts singing when the music dies down right before his lines.

“She knows, she knows, that I never let her down before…”

His voice fills up the stadium, thousands are singing together with him and he runs his gaze over the sea of people in front of him. He sees so many faces, some are even familiar, Harry tends to remember fans he sees over and over again at their concerts, but most of them are new. The song carries on and the boys start singing along with him, Harry is about to move back to the middle of the stage, but then he sees her.

He sees Y/N.

Or so he thinks. It’s hard to tell, because it’s dark and she is so far away from the stage, it could be just someone who resembles her, but something in his gut tells him it’s her. 

He does a double take, losing the familiar face for a moment but then he finds her again and a shiver runs down his spine. He hasn’t seen her in years, life has been simply way too hectic to keep in touch, last time he met her was probably in 2012 when he went home for Christmas, they ran into each other in town and promised to talk soon because they were both kind of in a hurry, but they never followed up with it. Y/N went to college, Harry’s career was skyrocketing, it was impossible to stay as close as they were before X Factor and Harry always regretted not trying harder, because now he has no idea what’s happening in her life. 

Niall walks up to him and pats him on the back and Harry’s focus shifts to his friend for just a moment, but it’s enough to not find her again when he looks back at the audience. Did she duck down? Walk out when she realized he was looking? Or did he just entirely imagine seeing her and it was just a mirage? 

He can’t get her out of his head for the rest of the show and he finds himself looking for her over and over again, but he doesn’t see her again and his consciousness starts to convince him she wasn’t even there. 

It was just a cruel trick his own mind played on him. 

2019

Why does he feel like he is sending out an invitation to the Queen of England? Why is he so nervous to hit send on an email? This is nothing Earth shattering, nothing will happen if he sends it out and life will go on even if she never replies.

One Night Only is set to happen in a few weeks and Harry is now sending out his invitations to his friends and family, he wants everyone who matters to be there on such a big night. Making the list was no hard task, but then he thought of inviting Y/N as well even though they haven’t talked in so long.

The other night, Harry found himself stalking her Instagram which he is still following. She has been posting once or twice a month, tiny glimpses into her life that doesn’t include Harry anymore.

But he wants to change that.

“Fuck it,” he mumbles under his breath and then adds her to the list of people who will get the invitation and then he just hits send and it’s officially out there. 

Harry is not necessarily one to get overly obsessive about something, but the next few days he finds himself checking his inbox every hour, scrolling through the new emails, looking for one particular address to show up, but he has to come to the conclusion every time that Y/N hasn’t answered. 

Days go by, Harry’s enthusiasm fades and by the end of the week he is convinced she won’t be there and soon he doesn’t even have time to think about it. 

One Night Only arrives to London in december. The venue fills up with excited and devoted fans, but no one is more nervous about tonight than Harry. 

He is ready, his band is ready, everything is perfectly in place, but he knows he won’t feel fully calm until he is on stage, performing to the people who gave him this amazing life. 

It all goes as planned, Fine Line is finally officially out there (it has been for about a week if we are being exact) and Harry couldn’t be happier. Coming off the stage he is still high on adrenaline, taking all the congratulations the crew and guests are giving him relentlessly. His smile is so wide, it’s starting to hurt his face, but it’s a pain he could happily deal with for the rest of his life.

He hugs his mum and sister, all his old friends, they do a group hug with the band and he is sure he has greeted everyone by now, but then he spots one specific figure in the back of the room.

At first he thinks he is just imagining it. That his mind is playing the same trick on him it did a few years ago when he thought he saw Y/N at one of their concerts. Blinking a couple of times he is ready to watch her disappear like a ghost, but as the seconds go by he realizes that she is truly there.

Y/N is standing across the room with a nervous smile, looking all grown up and most importantly fucking beautiful. Even though Harry has seen plenty of pictures of her from recent times, it’s still a shock to have her stand in the same room as him. 

His body moves before his brain could process it. His feet start to carry him towards her and before he even realizes he is running and when he finally reaches her he wraps her in his arms, twirling her around, making both of them laugh.

“You’re here!” he breathes out, still hugging her even when he has put her down.

“I am, you invited me!” she chuckles and they finally lean back enough to look at each other. 

“I know, but… you never replied, I didn’t think you’d come and… You are actually here,” he repeats.

“Sorry I didn’t reply, I wasn’t sure until the very last minute if I would come,” she admits nervously.

Harry’s invitation was all she could think about since the morning she got the email. It was more than unexpected, for a moment she even thought it was just some kind of prank, but it came from Harry's old email address, so she had to believe that it was genuine. She hesitated until probably a few days ago when she woke up one day and just knew that she had to be here tonight. 

“It’s okay,” he smiles at her softly, taking in her every feature. The girl he knew is still there, but she changed a lot, she looks so much more mature and her features have definitely gotten a lot more feminine. 

She looks gorgeous. 

Suddenly it all comes down on him clashing, all the questions, the feelings, he wants to know everything, but he fears they don’t have enough time.

“How long are you staying?” he then asks.

“I took a couple of days off, I’m staying for three more days.”

He sighs in relief. 

“Come on,” he smiles, his hand taking hers. “I want to know everything.”

“Everything?” she chuckles, ignoring the tingles wherever his hand is touching hers.

“Harry, don’t assault the poor girl! She almost didn’t come!” Gemma chimes in. Harry stops, his eyes snapping back and forth between Y/N and his sister.

“Wait, you knew she would be coming?” he asks Gemma, who is sipping on some champagne with a knowing smile. She shrugs.

“Yeah.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” he scoffs, hands on his hips. The sight makes Y/N laugh, because she can see his sixteen year-old self in the pose so vividly, it’s insane.

“You never asked,” Gemma says and walks away. Harry turns back to Y/N.

“She messaged me if I got your invitation,” she admits. 

“So you’re telling me, all I should have done is to send you a message and ask for confirmation?”

Y/N just chuckles, shrugging her shoulders innocently. Harry exhales as he shakes his head.

“Alright, now you truly have to tell me everything.”

2020

“Can you hear me?” Harry asks, as the FaceTime finally loads and Y/N’s pixelated face fills his phone’s screen. He leans back on his plush couch and he tries his best to ignore how fast his heart starts pounding in his chest when he hears her laugh.

“Yeah, I can hear you,” she answers and it seems like she just sat down somewhere too.

Struggling with the unstable connection they share how their day has been so far, though Harry has been up just for a few hours while Y/N’s is almost over. The time difference has been making it hard for them to keep in touch, but Harry has learned his lesson and he bends his schedule around these talks, because there’s no way he would waste even a moment he could spend talking to her.

ONO and the days that followed changed everything. It didn’t take long for Harry to realize that his boyish crush is still very much present and after seeing her it quickly evolved into something more mature. Seemingly, Y/N has been sharing these feelings, because it appears she enjoys spending time with Harry in any way possible just as much as he does. 

It took them quite some time to catch up and it feels like they still haven’t shared everything they missed in each other’s life in the past years, but they know they have all the time they need, even if the circumstances might not always be the best. They are both trying their best.

There’s a comfortable silence in their call where both of them are just staring at each other through the screen. The unsaid things have been hanging there between them, they know it’s more than just their old friendship rekindled, but saying the words out through a FaceTime call wouldn’t be right.

“I miss you,” Harry finds himself mumbling the words, kind of to himself, but she hears the words.

“I miss you too,” she replies, biting her lip as she adjusts the phone in her hands.

“Can I… Can I see you before I go on tour?”

“That’s like… in three weeks,” she chuckles.

“I know. But I want to see you.”

“I don’t know, I have a regular, mundane job, I’m not an international rockstar who can just travel whenever it’s convenient,” she reminds him jokingly.

“Okay, then let me visit you.”

“You’re way too busy to come here.”

“I’m never too busy for you.”

She gasps at his words, the pink clouds so thick around her mind it’s almost sickening. If only she could reach out and through the screen…

“Let’s talk about it tomorrow and if you still think the same, we can… figure something out,” she smiles shyly. Harry knows he’ll feel the same tomorrow and the day after and forever. So he just smiles and nods.

They chat some more until Harry has to leave. Unwillingly, but they end the call and return to their separate lives.

Y/N stays on her couch, her phone still in her hands and Harry on her mind. Her TV is on, but it’s been muted, the screen is the only thing illuminating her in the dark room. With a tired sigh she reaches for the remote and turns the volume back on.

The news are on. She stands from the couch and starts cleaning up, not even listening to what they are talking about on the screen.

“... therefore COVID-19 has been officially declared a pandemic. WHO warns everyone to wear a mask in all public places, countries with a high number of cases are urgently discussing what other safety measures should…”

Y/N is questioning her sanity. She has been for the past week that was spent packing her suitcase, she took three covid tests in the last two days and now she is about to board a private jet at an airport that’s scarily empty. The last part shouldn’t be surprising, the whole world is under lockdown because of the pandemic, Y/N has spent her last month isolated in her apartment, right until one day Harry begged her to fly over to him.

“Y/N, please. I will settle everything, I’ll send a private jet for you, pay for it all, just please… please come here and be with me!”

There’s probably nothing she can deny from him. So here she is, escorted onto a private jet by an airport worker, they are both wearing their masks, just like everyone she has seen in the past week preparing for her travel.

Just as she settles in her seat on the jet, her phone buzzes from a text.

HARRY: Everything alright? Are you boarding already?

With a smile hidden under her mask she types her reply.

Y/N: On the plane, we’re taking off in 10.

HARRY: I can’t wait to see you.

Last time she traveled overseas was for a vacation years ago. She flew commercial then and it felt like hell, wedged between an obnoxious little boy and a middle aged woman who complained about everything. Now it’s just her and literally one single stewardess who is there to serve her. It’s a whole different experience for sure. 

Luckily, the journey feels a lot shorter when she’s comfortable, she can get up anytime and eat excellent food instead of some weird frozen meal on a plastic plate. By the time the jet touches down she feels rested and most importantly excited to see Harry again. It feels like forever when they had to say goodbye in december and in all honesty, it took them way longer to reunite, but it’s all because of the pandemic. It’s late april now, they were planning to meet about a month ago originally at the end of march before his tour was set to kick off. By now he was supposed to be on the road through Europe, but instead, he has been under lockdown just like the rest of the world.

She walks through LAX as if it was zombie land, it’s so eerily empty she is expecting zombies to round the corner any minute, but it never happens. She reaches the car waiting for her, the driver loads her begs to the trunk and then they are off to Harry’s place. 

It’s her first time at Harry’s LA home, and naturally it still baffles her to see where he’s gotten from his old life in Holmes Chapel, one that included her.

But his life includes her now as well, she reminds herself just as the car rolls up the long driveway. Getting out of the car she is about to grab her suitcases from the back of the car when the front door flies open and Harry sprints out. Literally.

He is running towards her with such speed, she almost gets knocked over when he finally reaches her and locks her in his arms, twirling around in the air.

“You’re here!” he breathes out, making her laugh.

“Were you not expecting me?” she teases him when he finally puts her down, but his arms remain around her.

“It’s just… I’m so happy to see you,” he smiles widely, taking her in. She hasn’t changed much since December, maybe her hair has gotten a little longer, but she looks the same.

However their feelings are nowhere near the same.

He thanks the driver and then grabs all her bags, urging her to come inside. Y/N wanders further into his home exploring it right away, already migrating towards the pool outside. Harry sets her luggage down in the hallway and walks after her, watching her stop by the sliding doors, admiring the enormous backyard. She turns around and catches him staring.

“What?” she asks, nervously laughing.

“Nothing,” he shakes his head. “I’m just really happy you’re here.”

2021

He’s nervous. There’s no use in denying, anyone could see it. But no one can blame him, it’s been so long since he last stood on a stage, he’s afraid he lost his groove, though the people who know him beg to differ. 

Washing his teeth in his fluffy robe he is eyeing his outfit for tonight that’s hanging in the corner. He knows his fans will love it, the color pink alone would make them go feral, but the sparkly vest with no top underneath will be surely like they won the jackpot. 

He spits and rinses his mouth just when there’s a soft knock on the door and just by the rhythm of it he knows who it is.

“Come in!” he calls out, wiping his mouth with a towel just when Y/N pokes her head inside, her body following a second later. 

“Hey,” she smiles shyly, taking him in for a second as he moves around the room.

“Told you, you don’t have to knock when you come in,” he chuckles.

“But, what if you’re… naked or something?”

He stops and stares back at her, giving her an ‘Are you kidding me?’ look that gets her all flustered in an instant so he decides to take it even further.

“Nothing you haven’t seen, baby. In fact, you can see it right now if you wanted to.” He starts untying his robe, but she stops him laughing and taking the opportunity of having her so close now he wraps her in his arms and kisses her.

It never gets old. The feeling he gets whenever he gets to kiss her, whether it’s a good morning kiss right after he wakes up, or a tired kiss at the end of the day, a needy kiss when he just wants her more than anything or a make-up kiss after a fight, which doesn’t happen often. He can count it on one hand how many times they got into an argument since they’ve become an item in April 2020, when Y/N spent most of the lockdown with Harry. Originally, she planned to stay only for a couple of weeks, but she didn’t return home until the start of June and she was back by July.

Now it’s September 2021, so it’s been almost one and a half years since then and they are still just as in love as they were during lockdown.

“You’re nervous,” she mumbles against his lips and it’s not a question. She knows him, all of his looks, his movements, she knows what he thinks about most of the time if not always, she can read him like a book.

Harry hums and just goes in for another kiss.

“You’ll be amazing, don’t worry,” she smiles at him, patting his chest as she pulls back. “And even if you make a mistake, the pink sparkles will distract everyone,” she jokes, nodding towards his outfit.

“You’ll be out there?”

“Of course. I’ll be the one screaming the loudest.”

“As loud as last night?” The cheeky grin that stretches across his face is proof that he is not that nervous if he can make dirty jokes.

“Shut up or I’m going home,” she laughs, poking a finger into his chest teasingly. He grabs her finger and pulls her back for another kiss.

“Nope, you’re stuck here. With me,” he smirks, lips coming over hers again.

2023

The bittersweet feeling has been lingering around the crew not just all day, but probably for a week now. Everyone knew that the end was coming and now that the final show is officially here, the emotions are overflowing. Everything they are doing, they are doing it for the last time on Love On Tour. It’s the last stage, the last sound check, last time Wet Leg takes the stage before Harry and it’s the last time Y/N is sitting in his dressing room, watching him put on his outfit of the night.

She can sense that he is different than he usually is before a show, he seems antsy and his eyebrows have been furrowed probably since lunch. Y/N watches him pace the floor back and forth in his sparkly outfit, nervously fixing the wire behind his neck even though it’s exactly in the same spot it usually is.

“Do you want me to help?” she asks and Harry stops in his tracks, as if he just realized what he’s been doing. His hands fall by his side as he exhales sharply.

“Sorry, just… fidgeting.”

Y/N stands from the couch and walking over she absentmindedly fixes his fringed vest, planting her palms onto his chest gently.

“It’s okay to be sad, H,” she reminds him. Harry tends to hide his big, sad feelings, because he feels like it would bother others. He is always so considerate about dealing with everyone else’s feelings, but this time his emotions should be in focus as well.

“I don’t want to be sad, that’s the thing. It was a great experience, sadness should not be a thing when I think of Love On Tour.”

“But that’s why it’s okay to be sad. Because this amazing experience is ending and it’s natural that you’re mourning it. It lasted, what? Like almost two years? And if we count in the planning, this tour has been part of your life since 2019. That was four years ago, no one expects you to just let go of it laughing.”

Harry nods, his arms snaking around her waist as he pulls her into his embrace, needing to feel her close in this overwhelming moment. She’s been his anchor, the person he could turn to no matter what during this insanely long tour, he’s convinced he couldn’t have done it all without her. 

Not even Harry can slow time down, so the moment to step onto the stage for the last time in this tour finally comes. Y/N stands with his family and friends at the side, holding Anne’s hands whenever an emotional song is played by him. He puts one thousand percent into it, just like every time on this tour and Y/N’s chest swells with pride when she realizes that it’s one hundred thousand people screaming at her lover.

Or fiancé, to be exact. 

When Harry sings Falling, to his fans’ surprise, she notices him looking for her in the crowd. The song is melancholic and it was written about a time he felt at his lowest, but to look in his eyes tells it all to Y/N.

He is not there anymore, because he has her. 

She’s twisting her diamond ring around her finger as tears dwell in her eyes while she sings along to the song, hoping that her expression tells him too, that she is happy to be the person who brought light into his life, because he did the same to her.

Then the time comes for Harry’s thank you speech and no eye is left dry after his words. Y/N has to swallow back her sobs when he turns to her and addresses his words straight to her.

“My love, thank you for everything, you were such a big part of this journey and I hope that our journey will continue forever.”

The fans are screaming, phones are pointed at her, recording her reaction as she just nods eagerly, one hand covering her wobbling lips. 

For his final piano piece Y/N moves backstage to watch him from there and be there when he walks off the stage for the very last time in the history of Love On Tour. She is standing there with the proudest and most emotional expression on her face when Harry jumps down the steps and he smashes into her arms right away, burying his face into the crook of her neck. She can feel his tears against her skin and she gently keeps combing her hand through his hair, giving him as much time to recover as he needs. 

When he finally lifts his head his eyes are glassy, but there’s a smile on his lips.

“You did amazing,” Y/N tells him, gently wiping his cheeks with her hands.

“And you did too,” he says and his words make her laugh.

“I didn’t do anything.”

“You did the absolute most, Y/N. You gave me your love and support and I couldn’t have done it without those.”

Her heart melts as she pushes up to her tiptoes, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

“You’ll forever have those. You’ll forever have me.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

[yrthr]

☾ ONLY US ; S.HANBIN

s.hanbin masterlist / zb1 masterlist ; wc 0.893k

➛ genre / trope ; best-friends to lovers 🎧 — hello ! decided to go with a drabble and scenario is so cliché i love it and hopefully this isn’t too long i got carried away. and also hopefully its okay that this is in a school setting , im a sucker for school romance.

hanbin is affectionate and extremely clingy by nature and it shows through your friendship. however , recently , it seems as though he’s a bit too clingy.

“ y/n ! let me carry your bags for you. “

“ oh you have a lil’ something on your face , hold on… got it ! “

“ do you wanna go to the arcade after school ? my treat. “

“ its cold today , i brought a spare jacket for you. “

you’d be lying if you said your heart didn’t flutter at these things hanbin would do for you. you weren’t dense but it was absurd.

hanbin potentially having feelings for you ?

lets snap out of the delusions.

there was always something deep down in your heart for hanbin , although you weren’t sure if those feelings were romantic or platonic.

but you’d never confess , obviously.

“ i’ll see you after class , don’t fall asleep ! “

hanbin told you , giving you one of his bright smiles while continuously waving goodbye until you were out of his vision.

lord he acted as if he was enlisting.

tuesdays , wednesdays and thursdays were considered hell for hanbin. which teacher placed him and you in separate math classes because its on sight. well , at least he’d get to walk you home every time. [ and woohoo for dismissal ]

finally class had ended which had hanbin bursting out those doors like it was an action movie. he made his way to your classroom , ready to call out your name , just to see…

… you talking and laughing with max.

he stood outside the backdoors , watching the interaction and how you were so comfortable around his presence. how you laughed so hard at his jokes that you had to hit him. [ hanbin noticed you did this occasionally when you were really losing your shit ]

hanbin’s smile dropped ever so slightly and his heart felt like it had been punched.

a surge of anger rushed through his veins as slightly protective yet possessive thoughts flooded his mind.

he brushed it off.

sure , he definitely had feelings for you but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t make new friends.

“ y/n ! if you’re ready lets go. “

hanbin grabbed the handle of your bag about to prop it up on his shoulders when you stopped him.

“ actually , im going to the mall with max today. “

“ oh. “

“ uhm okay , have fun ! remember to text me when you get home. “

“ yeah , i will. “

hanbin ruffled your hair endearingly before walking away. [ he had to practically drag himself away from you ]

he looked back giving you a smile which you didn’t notice , too busy talking to your other male companion.

the bus ride home was lonely hanbin didn’t have anyone to give the window seat to or lean his head on their shoulder , not even to trace words or patterns on the back of someones hand.

the silent trip made him realise how much more you meant to him , if that was even possible. as before he already considered you his world.

‘ its okay.. it’s just for today. ‘

well , the next few days were definitely worse.

hanbin saw you with max at times apart from math class.

he’d walk to your shared table in between classes , both of you would talk with hand signals or just your eyes , sharing stupid tiktoks.

all these things you used to do with hanbin , and him alone , were now shared with some other guy.

hanbin was well aware he was jealous , maybe a bit hurt too.

of course you both would hang out but to see you share your smile , laugh and humour with someone other than him was … gut wrenching to say the least.

but he couldn’t blame you.

one day , hanbin couldn’t control his emotions anymore.

you and hanbin were sitting at a bench behind the school that was the usual hangout spot.

out of no where max popped out giving you a grin , plopping himself right next to you and swinging an arm around your shoulders. he started blabbing about something irrelevant , and completely ignoring the other male.

“ we have to go now. “

hanbin gently grabbed your hand and guided you to the empty student council room.

“ jesus that guy had some fucking spy gear or something. “

you joked.

you looked up seeing hanbin’s eyes slightly darting around to look at you , his lips slightly ajar , his hand still holding yours and his other hand reaching up to caress your cheek.

“ i have to get this off my chest. y/n i really really like you. like like you. and if you don’t feel the same or you’re already dating max , thats fine. i just want you to know that. “

your lips perked up into a smirk like smile and scoffed.

you looked down , “ that was somewhat insulting , i do have standards you know. “

“ but yeah , i guess i like like you too. “

hanbin’s smile grew wider showing off his bunny teeth and he couldnt help but let out a few laughs.

“ may i ? “

you nodded.

you closed your eyes expecting his lips on yours but instead felt a soft peck on the tip of your nose.

“ that’ll have to wait , i’ll plan something special. “

and with that your heart couldn’t handle it anymore , burying yourself into his chest.

hanbins arms wrapped around you , squeezing you.

the once empty room was filled with uncontrollable giggles and a newly formed couple.

divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

©️ yrthr 2023

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Round 4 Match 15

propaganda below the cut! (massive wall of text warning)

Tracy Chapman:

"I can’t think of anything clever to say because I’m too busy sighing dreamily"

"GUYS ITS FUCKING TRACY CHAPMAN VOTE FOR HER OR ELSE ILL EAT PLAYDOUGH"

"Tracy Chapman made the best song of all time (fast car)"

"ik im the hope sandoval guy but if hope doesn't make it tracy has to she made me realize i was a lesbian i just thought i was bi then i listened to her and now im a lesbian she is powerful she is strength if you looked at her and looked at my art you would see 20 years of inspiration from one single woman"

"she's too good to commit atrocities to me but im the gore guy and you aren't for that. i would let her take out my vocal chords and use them as floss. i would have her saw down my bones to make a vinyl of her music. i would go on all fours and let her slaughter me like a pig. i want to be her cat"

"The most powerful written and performed voice of the 90s. Everyone, of any nationality or belief system, could feel the words Tracy Chapman sang. She gets her dues but deserves even more."

Stephen Malkmus:

"i can't even stand stephen malkmus but there's a very special girl out there who needs this win"

"My perpetually stoned, nonsensical girlfriend...if we don't invent the time machine soon I might die. He's like 6 ft tall so unfortunately I'd be like one of those birds that ride on giraffes and eat bugs out of their fur. And then I'd die in a weed accident during the recording of Wowee Zowee? Before that though I'd spend 25 hrs a day in bed with him. Alright thanks"

"Stephen Malkmus chronically addicted to moaning and gasping in Pavement songs like he’s getting the best dicking down of his life in the back of the tour bus while everyone else is asleep"

"This is the indie-label match, right? Then it has to be Malkmus, he *made* the scene. And he's still releasing excellent music today. He's just the most influential rockstar of the 90s."

"my gay pavement fan uncle gets out of prison tonight and he knows you ratted him out in '06. the only way to make this right is to vote for stephen"

"Pretty please vote for him, my friend loves him and he really wants him to win"

""There were times he refused to speak to his bandmates, pulling a jacket over his head and referring to himself as "the little bitch"." I have also heard him refer to himself as a brat, a queen, a primadonna, a sociopath, and a narcissist. All of these descriptors have made me want to slam him against a wall and turn his neck fun new colors."

"I mean, Pavement is THEE indie band of the 90s. The lowkey snark, Koreaaaa, so much style that it's wasted. And Malkmus is an understated cool rockstar: the hair, the face, Silver Jews! He never ever sold out. He's the 90s."

"the most beautiful man ever he looks like a gorgeous fairytale prince. he has been hot since he emerged on the scene and continues to be so as their reunion tour comes to a close. stephen forever"

"we have to consider the autism swagger. find me a pavement write up that doesn’t spend three paragraphs waxing lyrical on his inability to make eye contact. find me a YouTube comment section that doesn’t have hoards of moms swooning over his flat affect. his refusal to wear anything more formal than a flannel for the first decade of his career? genuinely culturally influential. 30 glorious years of expressionless performances. sunglasses in the dark. so many straight men falling over themselves for him they made a joke about it in the Barbie movie. raw tbh sex appeal. and he’s got a great nose"

"he had a couple of unfortunate haircuts during this period but highkey i would break both of my arms to just be able to make out with him. please vote for SM my life is in danger if you don't"

[somewosoloverrr]

heyy i wanted to request max x r. Maybe they fight and then late at night r cant sleep so goes over to Max's trailer and apologises and the end up cuddling or smth like that? Thanks btw

Heyy, I love this. Thanks for requesting <33

Requests are open btw if anyone wants to request anything.

FIGHT

Warnings : curse words, verbal fight?, cheating implied

It rarely happened, you and Max almost never fought even after a year of dating you only fought like three times.

However today was one of those rare days. You and Max had come back from school and you noticed she was being distant. You knew she was mad but didn’t know why, you tried asking her but she just ignored you. So when the school bus dropped you off you followed her into her trailer.

“What do you want y/n?” She asked pissed off. “Why are you acting like this? What’s wrong?” You asked confused.

“What’s wrong?” She sarcastically repeated “gee I don’t know, it’s just that my girlfriend was all over her teammate, and ignored eye contact with me the whole day” she finished her face red from madness.

Her accusation also made you mad so you didn’t hold back when replying “that’s bullshit, how many times do I have to tell you we are just fucking FRIENDS !”

“Yeah right” the read head scoffed. “I must’ve forgot that friends hold hands,flirt and hug all the time” she finished her sarcastic remark

“You always fucking do this! Oh my god” you exclaimed madly, she was being selfish right…?

“Do what?!” Max questioned

“Get mad over nothing, because everything is always about you” you replied while chucking

“THATS not true! That’s bullshit and you know it!” The ginger headed girl snarked back.

Your couldn’t do this, you hated fights so you decided to leave. “We’ll if it’s such bullshit I’ll just leave!” You finished as you opened her front door and slammed it as you walked out.

As you were walking to your trailer you started to question, if you where right or if she was right..

After eating dinner and your dad telling you to go to sleep you went to your room and later on your bed, closing your eyes to try and fall asleep.

But you couldn’t, as the thoughts of your rough fight with your girlfriend flooded your mind. You sighed knowing you really fucked up, instead of reassuring that you only love her, you said she was selfish.

So you decided to stop tossing and turning in your bed and silently got up. You put a sweatshirt on top of your pajamas and put on some random shoes as you opened your window and jumped outside.

You jogged to Maxs trailer which was nearby, once you got there you inhaled a big breath and then knocked on her window.

No reply came, her lights were turned off so she might’ve been sleeping. Nevertheless you knocked again, again and again… Around 10 minutes had passed and you almost gave up until you heard the floor boards creaking.

And just like that Max appeared in the window and looked tired. Apparently she couldn’t sleep either.

As she opened her window she noticed how cold it was outside so she said “come in, it’s freezing outside”

“Thanks” your replied as you climbed inside her room. Once you got inside you shut the window and looked at your girlfriend who was sitting on the bed.

“Max” “y/n” both of you said at the same time and laughed as she suggested “you go first”

“I just, I just wanted to say I’m sorry, I burst out on you when I should’ve reassured you. Oh god I’m so stupid -“

“Hey shh,” the red head interrupted your rambling as she stood up and put a finger on your lips. “It’s okay, i should’ve believed you when you told me nothing was going on. So im sorry for starting the fight” she apologizing back.

You smiled hearing this and leaned in to kid her, it felt so good. Her lips on yours as she cupped your face and you put your arms on the back of her head. It was short but sweet. “God, you’re cold” Max said noticing it when she touched your face.

“Come on let’s cuddle, we don’t want you catching a cold..” she trailed off as she grabbed your hand guiding you to her bed.

You both got under the covers and you immediately hid your face in the crook of her neck as she pulled the cover over your cold figure and then played with your hair knowing it calms you down.

“Let’s never fight again, I missed you too much” you said in a sleepy tone. You felt max chuckle at your words “yeah let’s never fight again” she agreed as she kissed your forehead.

After a few minutes both of you fell asleep completely content with each other.

[egirlgarak]

@annahamiltonsstuff asked a while back if I could post about my little Franz playlist, so here we are! thanks for asking, I had fun streamlining and annotating :3c it’s all under the cut, but you can listen here :]

Burning of the Midnight Lamp - Jimi Hendrix

The morning is dead, and the day is too There's nothing left here to lead me but the velvet moon All my loneliness I have felt today It's a little more than enough to make a man throw himself away And I continue to burn the Midnight Lamp, alone

Jimi song about being a lonely insomniac? yeah, sure. that's for franz.

Asleep in the Deep - Mastodon

The moment you walked in the room my friend The demons, they all went away Be careful they're only asleep for a while Pretending there's nothing to say. Throw salt in all the corners here Make sure you watch him leave

i think several people have come into franz’s life, stayed just long enough to shine their light on him, just long enough for him to wonder what his life could be. gave him just enough of their time for him to envision a man he could and would never be. and in the end, they leave. every time. some by choice (laura, carlo, mikesch- though i think franz was the one to leave mikesch that summer decades ago, too afraid of his own bisexuality), others not (Im Freien Fall, Am Endes des Flurs). so, yes, people come, they help put his fears to rest, and then they leave and franz is alone again with memories of these people he’s loved and the fear that he’s never been enough and he’ll always be alone.

Every Planet We Reach Is Dead - Gorillaz

When we go down For all the sacred selfless days Only left with heartache I want to see you again I love you But what are we going to do?

but the person who’s been by his side the whole time? the one he thought he could trust to the end? he doesn’t even have that. Der Tod ist unser ganzes Leben is such a delicious heartbreak of an episode with how distant Franz and Ivo are from each other. All Franz wants to do is protect Ivo because he trusts him. but then Ivo turns around and lies to his face and Franz, again, is left to wonder what the last twenty years have meant.

Veteran of the Psychic Wars - Blue Öyster Cult

You see me now, a veteran of a thousand psychic wars My energy's spent at last and my armor is destroyed I have used up all my weapons and I'm helpless and bereaved Wounds are all I'm made of

idk man, boy’s got trauma, what else is there to say.

Capsize - The Low Blow

Blood on my hands I'm a lonely man So afraid of the lovers I seek For I'm dancing in a burning field Of these love letters I'll never speak (…) Tears on my cheek don't make me weak Nor does loving the beautiful Cause I'm stronger than hell when I'm looking at you

ok, see. i think franz has hardened as he’s aged, but at his core I do think he’s quite gentle (specifically envisioning crying Franz in Blutiger Asphalt & Frau Bu Lacht) and, really, how else can he cope with the loss he’s experienced in his life than by protecting himself from everything else. so for all the pain and suffering franz has gone through, there is something genuinely beautiful about the love franz and ivo share, and i think a lot of franz’s strength comes from loving and being loved by ivo.

Love Hurts - Incubus

Love hurts But sometimes it's a good hurt And it feels like I'm alive Love sings When it transcends the bad things Have a heart and try me 'Cause without love, I won't survive

see again: the concept of being a broken man coming to terms with loving and being loved, even amidst your mental illnesses

Hurt - Johnny Cash

I hurt myself today To see if I still feel,  (…) Everyone I know Goes away in the end

would love to just copy paste the whole ass song in here. i won’t. but it’s a franz song. [see: die Wahrheit & also every other Franz and the No Good Very Bad day episode]

I Am All I Got - The Dead Brothers

I remember the day When I cried out for help No one came running And that′s when I first knew I am all I got!

two songs that wouldnt apply to franz if he would just either: a) go to therapy b) go to bed c) go let ivo spoon him (ideally all of the above, but i’ll settle for even just one. please franzl. we can’t keep doing this)

Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd

When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpse Out of the corner of my eye I turned to look, but it was gone I cannot put my finger on it now The child is grown, the dream is gone I have become comfortably numb

We all already know that Franz’s massive daddy issues are the root of most of his woes and sorrows, right? His abusive father played a fundamental role in how he learned to navigate the world around him. i think this is less canon and more the effects of @weidli’s word weaving but the concept of franz, as a little boy, doing everything he can to be worthy of his father’s affection, only for the man to turn around with a scowl on his face and a belt in his hands? no child deserves that. no one would come out of that undamaged. then 40 years down the line this same man commits assisted suicide without saying goodbye (Außer Gefecht) and now Franz is left wondering if there was ever any love there.

But it’s okay! Franz has a coping mechanism. It’s called Depression.

[the-casbah-way]

i would sell my soul to get some of that dtl jedtavius domesticity. you can’t just tease me like this my dude -rivstyx

i genuinely do think i have an entire fic's worth of domestic lore in my head but here's just some of the things i think about a lot

jed making breakfast every morning and octavius insisting he doesn't want any because he's not a breakfast person, then ending up eating it all anyway and going 'jed :( im still hungry :(' and jed giving him half of his own breakfast because he deliberately made more than he can eat so he could give the extra to octavius

octavius being the sleepiest bastard on earth and constantly complaining about how tired he is, only to voluntarily wake up super early in the morning to drive jed to work whenever jed is too overstimulated to take the bus

we all know that jed sings everywhere he goes and octavius loves to listen but what about when octavius sings to himself really badly when he's not thinking about it and doesn't realise jed is paying attention. and jed just staring with literal heart eyes and octavius getting embarrassed when he notices

THEM SHARING EACH OTHER'S CLOTHES. I THINK ABOUT IT CONSTANTLY

jed leaving octavius little scraps of paper around the house with poems and lyrics he wrote about him and octavius having to try SO hard not to smile like a fucking idiot (especially when jed slips one into his brief case and he finds it at work and dexter is like 'why are you blushing' and octavius is like 'shut the fuck up')

octavius taking extra work home and stressing out about it and falling asleep on his keyboard with like five cups of coffee until jed carries him to bed and secretly goes back to correct any errors octavius made with the numbers because he was too tired to concentrate

them ranting CONSTANTLY about people they hate from work. and then when they go to work the next day jed will catch octavius' eye from across the room and do a terrible impression of said coworker and octavius has to try his best not to laugh

jed helping octavius shave because he's way less clumsy with it and saying shit like 'you have beautiful eyes' when they're right up close to each other and octavius telling him to shut up as if he's not flustered by it

jed reminding octavius to take his meds every morning, handing each pill to him one by one and going "...this one for your shitty kness...and this one for your migraines...' then handing him his antidepressant saying 'and this one for your beautiful brain' and giving him a little kiss on the forehead

octavius buying jed literally anything he ever needs without jed having to ask and telling jed that he's allowed to pay him back one day if it makes him more comfortable accepting the money

jed moving into octavius' house and bringing his dog with him. octavius having Very Mixed Feelings about it because he doesn't like dogs but then months later jed finds octavius asleep on the couch with his dog curled up beside him

just their blended friend group with al, ahk, tilly, larry and sacajawea and all the cute nights in and chaotic nights out they probably get up to (also jed and ahk teaming up to bully octavius constantly and al and tilly becoming the world's most unlikely besties)

i have so many more but i already made this way too long oops anyway im unwell about this au

[starburstcosmos]

god, let me TELL YOU about the day i fucking had.

this morning: fell asleep at MAYBE 3:30 for a 5 alarm to catch a greyhound leaving at 6:45. which didn't leave until after 8. my connection was at 11:50, we arrived at 11:55ish. thank the punk rock gods, the connecting bus was still here.

BUT OH NO. in my rush to get to the connection (in a cast and hobbling my best because fuck the crutches), my headphone case (sans headphones) falls out of my pocket in a sacrifice to the punk rock gods. devastating, i can't charge my headphones without the case, but whatever, they're charged enough to get me through the connecting bus ride, and I have backups at home, where I will be after the show anyways.

my friends pick me up in at the stop and head to the venue to get in line. after a few merch mishaps and bracelet trades, im at my seat. it's a GREAT view, and i realise that one of the bits of the show i love is going to happen about ten feet from my seat. fuck yeah. by the time fob is set to go on, even better seats have opened up, incredible! I'll be five feet away from pete!

now, let me take you on a detour: one of the things we as the fans have been doing this tour is printing out pink seashells to light up during fake out to turn the venue pink, and we've been doing it since the tour started in Wrigley. its a group effort with people handing out shells to people without and explaining how it works.

right before fall out boy is set to start, im doing my best to pass out shells when someone taps me on the shoulder and asks, "do you want to give a shell to Pete's girlfriend?" immediately i say yes, of course!

another tangent: i have made several bracelets for both shows i went to. four of these are for fall out boy, saying thanks. I tried in indy to get them to the boys through crew to no avail.

so, after i give meagan, pete's girlfriend, a bit of the spiel and some shells, i humbly request, "i made bracelets for the boys saying thanks, is there a chance you'd be willing to give them to them?" she agrees! another win!!

dance, dance rolls around, im screaming my head off, i get video of pete doing his magic trick (and patrick waving his fingers to pretend like he's the one doing the magic -- ill put everything into a gdrive folder later and post a link somewhere) and then pete is five feet away from me in his mesh rose shirt and im having the TIME OF MY FUCKING LIFE. WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE.

the show ends, im waiting for people to clear out to go towards the designated spot to meet my friends. no one else has really stayed by the sound booth. i carefully make my way over there (the seats are mostly empty at this point) and ask the sound guy working if i can have his set list. he hands it to me with a smile :)

and on my way to my meeting spot we pass by the pit and manage to get one of the security people to grab me a handful of confetti and streamers and get it shoved into a ziplock bag before im out for the night.

so: shitty morning, incredible fucking night including confetti and being five feet away from pete wentz and the setlist (the code for 27 was tango sierra btw!) and finally getting my bracelets to the boys. i am so, so, so fucking happy and i feel like the luckiest person in the fucking world and like im currently living the life of a wattpad protag.

[kingdomsqueendomkimgme]

Long live the king

A/N : this will play in modern time since the MV concept isnt only him being a King but he can control time, that why i made them Vampires in this story, thats also why Iˋll let it be in the modern time.

I got the idea for the story line before falling asleep a few months ago soo yeah. I hope yall enjoy it.

Have a nice day, evening, night. <3) and this will be more then one part since I have too many ideas for the storyline

Word count: 2887

Kingdom masterlist

Pt.2

Y/N Pov.

Today was the day were our class will be on a school trip to a old castle.

Iˋm really interestet in it, since Iˋve been reaserching about it a lot and I want to see if i can find any clues that would show that the Myths are true or at least some of them. " hey Y/N?" I looked up to see brian " Hey Brian whats up?" "sooo I know that your interestet in this castle so i asked my dad to do some deeper reaserch and you wont believe what he found" I took my backpack of the seat next to me and he sat down. " What did he find?" he gave me a Letter, I first looked at him confused but he just smiled at me so i took it and opened up.

"He found out that the King looks exactly like todays owner. Which is very much impossiple because over a thausends of years there should have been at least a little change in his looks but it isnt .... there is no change he looks exactly like every portait of the last king and then i told my dad that you found out theres a myth that he was a Vampire and his friends too right?" I nodded " And my dad then called a friend that lives in the town where the castle is who has old letters of the royal family. and this one could be the proof that your right about it. We just need to find the room that is described in the letter."

We did read the letter and talked about the room and myths the rest of the bus ride.

When we arived we all got split up in teams of each 2 people and luckily me and brian got in one.

we were alowed to walk around alone aslong as we didnt destroy anything.

So me and brian are currently in the hallway where the room should be. Only problem we shouldnt be here because that is already the private area of the castle but we were to curious to care about that right now.

"There" brain whispered This is the door that is described in the letter "If theres the strais behind the door iˋll def. go down because i really wanna see if you are right about all the myths" I nodded and slowly opend the door and to our surprise there where stairs that went down "Oh my god..." we both breath out in relive but "Yes the teacher said that there are 2 students missing we need to find them" we looked at each other shooked and just went down the stairs carfully closing the door and silantly walking down the stairs "btw. brain im thankful that you came with me" He stopped shortly before we were complitly down the strairs "of course  your my bestie and ill always be by your side yk. You do it for me all the time so ill def do the same" I smiled and then we walked into another hallway "Ok now we just need to go to the end of the hallway" brain nodded. and we began to walk.

After a longer walk then espected we came finally to the door that we searched the whole time.

We both stopped and tried to calm down our excitement because if we didnt find what we hoped for we would be really disappointed.

"Do you want to open the door?" Brian asked, I looked at him "Yes but iˋm nervous" he put a hand on my shoulder and smiled "should we do it together then?" I nodded and whit that we both pushed the door open.

I stepped inside the room and "Whoa thats a really pretty room..." I whispered "Yes your right.... look theres the portait i told you about" I looked at the other side of the room where brian had pointed and i couldn´t believe my eyes... The Painting really looks exactly like the offspring of the now a days owner.

"Holy shit..." I breathed out. Brian looked aroundthe room and found a small cest, probably one of these where the Letters are stored in. "Maybe we'll finde something in here that proofs the Mythes." He said and handed me the small Chest.  Before i could open it we heared footsteps fastly walking towards the room "Oh shit we need to hide now" I whisper yelled, placed the chest back and pulled Brian to the second door.

As I opened it we saw that it lead into the garden where we were suppost to meetwith our teacher. We closed the door and ran to our class. We luckily haven't been caught and just went between the other students. A few minutes passed and the teacher saw us "Where have you two been?" she yelled "I'm very sorry miss Miller but both of them where here the whole time. We tried to tell you but we could find a way telling you without being unfriendly." Jesse said, while the guards also came hearing everything Jesse said. To say at least that they were pissed is an understandment.

"W-what ? but i havent seen them... OK Im very sorry for my overreacting" //Im soo lucky that we are a bigger class where every one has eachothers back damn that could have ended diffrently// I shot Jesse a thanking look which he just smiled at. The Teacher wanted to say something else when the Owner of the Castle arrived and look at all of us. His gaze lingered longer on me then I would have liked but he didn't  say anything. Brian and I looked at each other to see if we both saw the same thing. No one dared to talk.

"So I got notice of what happend and as I can see and judging from what I have heard there has never been a Problem?" It came out as a question which our Teacher just nodded at and lowerd her gaze to the floor.

"Ok since everything is right now, I can finally anaunce that I have descided that you all are Invided to our Ball Tomorrow night." There was shook written over all our faces, that was the last thing we expected after what had happened.

"So for those who dont want to go you are allowed to leave now, everyone else stays." Our nerdy students left and went to the bus that would bring them back to our hotel. The rest stayed. "Ok now that only the people are here that want to go on the Ball, you'll get your Invitation and a Letter where all Informations you need to know about the Ball and the other events tomorrow are written in" Each of us got 2 Letters one more Fancy looking then the other. I assume that the one with the gold on it is the Invitation and the other is with all Informations. "Good does everyone have the two Letters ?" we all nodded and with that he let us of the hook for today to explore the Town and get Outfits for Tomorrow night.

Small Timeskip In Town:

"How did we not get caught?" Brian asked while we walked trought the Suit shop. "Can you be a bit more quiet, i'd appriciate that.?" I looked at him and he just grinned "why you wanted to be caught?" He wiggled his eyebrows "What?" I looked at him with wide eyes "I mean he doesn't look bad and your single" "You really are stupid you know that?" He fake cried and held a hand on his heart "Dear you really hurted my feelings right now" we both brusted into laugher. We found a perfect suit for him and went to search for a dress for me. We already baught our masks and jewlery so we dont have to worry about that anymore.

shoes should be easy too after we found our Outfits.

We searched through the shop till Biran ran to me with something red in his Hands. "Here this would look soo good on you plus it is more flowy then tight" He grinned at me. I took the dress and went to try it on and I must say he really knows me plus he has amazing taste.

I took a second look in the mirror and steped outside . "What do you think?" "I knew you would look amazing, Please tell me you'll take this."

I looked at him and stayed silent for a few more seconds before i nodded.

He jumped up and hugged me "Good now come pay, I'm hungry" I chuckled at his antics.

After i payed we went first to the Hotel to bring everything back and then we went to search for a restaurant. We found one after good 20 minutes of searching and went inside to order foor.

We talked about all the myths and other things (We luckily found a table in a not so crowded area) When Brian suddenly stopped talking. "brian?" "shhh" He shushed me and pointed at something with his head. I turned around where I saw that the "King", Imma call him that now since idk his name, stood and talked to one of the employees, I turned back " we should go.... its good that we already paid" I whispered and packed my back. We both waited a bit so that the "king" and the guards where distracted and left the restaurant.

"Dude we litteraly just fleed from them" Brian laught, I smiled "No we just went out of the restairant because we finished eating" We walked back to the Hotel but then descided that we still have time to make a walk at the lake near the forest.

"Why do I feel like we're being watched?" I questioned. Brian looke at me "Phuu so I'm not the only one feeling that way"  We came to a stop "Boy thats creeping me out" We heard a stick cracking and turned around. There was a Boy or Man idk he looks like hes about 20 or something. witch Blond hair. We looked at him shooked. "Oh I'm really sorry for scaring you two, I got the Order to tell you that King Louis wants to see you both after you disappiered so quickly from the restaurant." We both swallowed "Did we do something?" I asked and the Blond looked at me with a confused look. "What ? No, he went to all the students that are invited to the ball and the other events." he laughed "So he tried to find you both but you always went away so fast" Me and Brian looked at each other "Ohh we didn't even notice that" I said quitely "Oh thats no problemhe just figured you two didn't noticed us" The Blond Smiled warmly. "Btw I'm Ivan, you don't need to be formal with me, but I recommand doing so with the others till they allow you to speak more infomaly with them, especialy with Louis, Arthur and Dann" we both nodded.

"Ok, then please follow me, I'll bring you to them." Ivan turned around but looked back at us over his shoulder "And one more thing if you two really where the students that went into the room, If you saw anything, don't let anyone know. I won't tell anyone if it really was you but be aware not to let anything slip, especially not to the others and Louis." We both looked at eachother with widen eyes "So it was you two" Ivan took notice of our reaction and turned back around "You don't need to worry, just don't let anyone know, I promise I keep your secret safe. I mean everything was in its place so we all assume you two got lost in the castle, since its really big. Am I right?" "Yes we wanted to search for the exit to meet our class but yeah we got very lost, my apologies." I bowed, embaressed and kept my look on the ground. Suddenly someone stood in Front of me  but it defenitly wasn't Ivan he had a different color on... "Louis..." It was Ivan who talked but more with horror in his voice then I wanted to hear.  I took a deep breath and closed my eyes still keeping my head to the ground. "Ivan you can take the boy with you to the others and wait there, I want to talk to her." I heard shuffeling and two peoples steps slowly disappering.

I felt a Hand under my chin making me look up and automaticly opening my eyes. //Damn he looks even better upclose..... shushhhh get out of my head...I cant think about him like this.// He steped a bit back but still had his hand on my chin. "so you two got really lost in the castle?" I nodded "Then your teacher was right. But its ok since you haven't stolen anything like some other students we had in the past, that also got 'Lost' how they said, you really seemed to be lost thought. But Why didn't you two say anything? Is it because of your teacher?" He had a questioning look in his eye and let go of my chin, so that i could talk. " yes it was because of the teacher she would have looked us in our hotel rooms or something like that, thats why our classmates had our back for us. Please don't tell her we got lost... I don't want to be locked in the same room for the next two months...." 

His eyes widen a bit "wait so your telling me she would just lock you in the hotel for the rest of the trip?" "Yes she did it already a few times to other students... and we're scared that of she finds out that she'll do the same with us too" I looked down again. //now that I think about it of they tell her we will really be locked away for the rest of the trip.....shit// " We won't tell her don't worry you pretty little head about it" this made me look up. //wait he'll not tell her but why?// my thoughts got interrupted when he added "but you have to promise me something or more said you need to do me a favor." I looked at him "and w-what would that be" He chuckled "you will be my companion for the ball and all other events" He looked at me waiting for a awnser and for me to think about it.

//I mean I have nothing to lose and it's not like there will be happening anything bad// I took a deep breath before I said "Ok, I'll do that" He looked first a bit shooked, apparently not awaiting that awnser but then smiled slightly "Good now come, we need to find the others so that we can tell you the extra information for the Ball" He held out his hand for me to take which I did because I'm not unfriendly. //damn he has cold hands.. and he seems to have a hard time to show emotion//

He suddenly stopped which made me run into his back. I mumbled a "sorry" and looked down embrace. "It's ok but you need to stay here till I come back, something isn't right..." I looked up at him he seemed mad. So I nodded and stayed behind the tree. I watched him disappear into the house where we were suppost to meet the others.

//what is going on??//

I sat down in the grass and waited.

//damn I wish I could know what's going on// I heard footsteps but I didn't dear making a sound, fear flooding my body within seconds, not knowing who it is. "Hey" someone whispered I jumped slightly and held my hand to my heart. I looked shooked at Ivan "Sorry, come Louis told me to get you to the Palace. He said I should watch both of you till he and the others have dealt with the intruder" "In-what?" I whisper yelled, he just nodded and helpt me up. We began to speed walk away from the house and in direction to the Palace when suddenly someone jumped in front of us. Ivan immediately hid me behind him. "Where is she?" The man in front of us asked "I know she was with you I saw it" "why do you want to know? Why is she so important?" Asked Ivan angered //wait are they talking about me? But that can't be..// "oh come on you know as well us I do about what powers she has. And she'd make a great secret weapon." "You won't get her" Louis voice came from beside us. I looked at him and also.saw the others there. I got pulled back "mmmh what did you say about we won't get her" a knive to my neck, the fear came back floating through my veins. I felt a strange sensation in my hands and suddenly all the enemies where blown away and nocked out.

//damn what was that, I'm so tired...// the last thing I saw was that all of the run up to me before my knees gave up and everything went black.

[meowzfordayz]

Hey hey T! Congratulations on your ✨milestone 10.0✨ !! I remember *slow eater* hcs was ur first work i read and then bam bammm (im gyo anon also btw have i told u that surprise surprise 😂 gyo anon and 🧦 anon r oneee)

maam may i request romantic hcs with gyo 🤍 sfw, nsfw ANY im a sucker for tooth-rotting mushy mushy squishy fluff please maam thank u iluvü 💗

About me: ppl say i look mean but rlly it's just my face i'm sorryyyt ;-; but when they got to know me i am described as very funny (when i was in 11th grade the teacher asked who the class clown was and they said it be me ?? I'm pretty sure its that other guy but okayy 🤧) and fun to be around with/ knows how to lift ppl's mood up (this touched me i swearrr bc i didn't know i have that effect on ppl until it's palanca time and ye,, one of my insecurities is i'm not rlly good with words and so when i have to comfort someone i just sit with them while also looking for someone who can help better like gurl help me idk what to sayyydbrjdhh and so learning that i can brighten their day with just my presence or just casually saying smthng is just 🤯) ++ calm and collected bc usually i'd just laugh it off but rn idk anymore gurl i think these were just a fascade im a wreck inside haha sarcasm is how i cope 😭

i'm very straightforward esp to my friends bc i don't wanna give them false hope or anything tho i do the sandwich method to not make it seem too harsh 😭 i'm also the friend who (whichever group i'm in) people hold onto like link arms,, when walking, standing or just sitting they just grab both my arms (1 friend on the right another on the left) like they do to their moms or smthng (now i feel old jkjk is it bc im a little taller? 😭) and it gives the feeling that oh no smol children must protectt like i literally look like am chaperoning kids HAHA tho its cool bc i feel like my arms are the chosen ones ✨ i want to do that too yknow hold someone's arms for a change or like be held 🥺 ,, most of my friends are shorter than me (nothing against height !!) i just feel like its weird if *i* do it :"))) I also have this habit of whenever i'm seating next to someone i'd borrow there arm and just go squish squish

I'm an introvert. just the thought of preparing to go somewhere and actually taking the trip there is already draining the sh*t out of me. There are times when mid convo i'd just shutdown tho i still will try to keep a polite face even tho inside i just hURRY UP Iwanna go hOmE sorry dude but idk there are ppl whose energy are draining but there are those who compliments well wid u idk idk

i like letterssss vvvvmuch <3 i'm also sentimental like i keep eveeerything bus tickets, movie tickets, my first shot glass ugHH u could give me a leaf and just write to and from and id keep that foreeever. even that one time in 10th grade where we were practicing for an event in the grassy area and bc we were bored we made smol bouquets madE ouT Of GrAsS i still freaking have it and thaT One letter from a friend which came with a rock she painted with a face on so cuuuute ✨

i want to say my hobby is drawing but my degree requires me to draw too so like drawing *again* as a hobby now just pisses me off bc my brain says: instead of drawing that why don't u just do ur plates 🤡

I looove animalsss (cats cats we have 4 cats and 3 kittens) my fave wild ones are 🐳 & 🐘 idk it's just they're so big and mighty but they're very gentle and caring and helpful to other animals too •u• i wanna pet them and hug them they make me soft.

What i like about myself are my sense of humour (no i'd burst out laughing at 2am i was about to fall asleep and my brain be randomly making jokes 😤), my guts bc it's sharp afff, ability to recover fast (i'm not sure with this one bc i know im not addressing my issues properly but like hey i got alot of shit to do so chop chop 👏) , and my imagination bc my head is wilddd).

wow this got super long i'm sorry ;-; thank you maamm! And have an awesome and safe day at work today!! 🧦

MILESTONE 10.0

💞: Himejima Gyomei

holds your hand before crossing the street, because if anything tragic were to occur, then at least he will have been holding your hand. Similarly, he's mindful of his parting words to you: variations of I love you being his go to. About to hang up on him because you're angry? He always manages to squeeze in We'll figure this out. About to fall asleep because he's exhausted? He never forgets to mumble Sweet dreams. About to be on your way somewhere for some time? He sends you off with Have fun, stay safe.

sponsors a wild tiger with you (has the certificate framed and everything), and participates in annual fundraisers hosted by wild cat sanctuaries. Last Valentine's Day, he purchased and dedicated a heart (really just a chunk of meat) to you, which was then fed to your favorite leopard. "You're disturbingly sweet," you'd giggled, pecking his cheek as you rewatched the Instagram reel of your "heart" being devoured for the nth time, "Thank you so much!"

gifts you a journal for your third anniversary, but it's already mostly full — mostly full of things you've said that made him smile/giggle/laugh. Of course, it isn't a comprehensive, entirely accurate record, but it includes: inside jokes that you'd inevitably forgotten (until getting to read them again), witty retorts and quips that you'd figured he hadn't heard (turns out he had), and an obnoxiously long section reserved for your puns-that-are-arguably-too-much-of-a-stretch-to-truly-be-punny.

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

My cousin is supposed to be staying with us this weekend

She was supposed to be here earlier (she wouldve gotten here yesterday night if she hadn't stopped to get a hotel)

Shes being super dodgy about where she is and how long she's gonna be

She only gave us like 3 days notice that she was gonna be coming up here

Shes been texting my mom this whole time but now my parents have gone to bed cuz my dad is Routine Oriented™️ and Must be in bed by 9pm (preferably by 8 but he stretched it to almost 9 today just in case she showed up)

I am no longer in People Mode

So im just sitting here hoping she hasnt been like murdered or some shit but also hoping that if she's ok she goes to grandmas house to sleep on her couch instead cuz I dont wanna deal with getting her settled in this late

This is ME Time

I want to CHILL

I havent been able to chill all day

I couldnt fall asleep last night cuz of Anticipation but also my allergies were really bad so I couldn't breathe out of my nose so i didn't fall asleep til after 5am

I woke up at like 10am and had to clean the bathtub because we're having company (supposedly) and thats one of my TWO cleaning jobs (not counting keeping my room clean) and I was really proud of myself cuz I managed to get out of bed as soon as I woke up and got the tub cleaned

Then my dads cousin was over and chewby hates him so I was having to babysit a grumbly pitbull and try to keep her calm since my dad doesn't WARN me when Brad is gonna be here so I can't actually work with her on being chill around him

Then when me and my mom got back from the store dipshit was over here hanging out with my dad even tho my dad helped his wife leave him????? Like bro why do you think we want you here???

Then I took althea to get food for the week and lawrence is fucking stupid when it comes to planning roadwork. 6th street is a fucking mess. Getting to just food was fine cuz 7th street is alright until Kentucky street. But on the way back I took 9th street like I did last week to get back to Michigan street but Michigan street was CLOSED between 9th and 7th so then I had to turn around and go back to Maine street to get back to 7th street to get back to Michigan street. And there was so much fucking traffic cuz its the middle of the semester and yeah its spring break but its also the Friday at the end of spring break so people are starting to come back so there's like twice as many people as there would be if it was summer break.

Then I got home and dipshit was still here AND STAYED HERE FOR HOURS til my dad and Mike bribed the neighbors kid with weed (shes 18 and we're friends with her mom) to take him and his dog to a hotel cuz his (hopefully soon to be ex) wife is selling the house and kicked his ass out so he's effectively homeless now (he fucked around and found out. He's got a bus to somewhere next Wednesday. Hopefully not to where his wife is. Bobbi says she is living her best life now that she's back home with her parents and all her friends)

Like I have had a fucking day dealing with people and I do not have the patience to deal with getting my cousin settled at almost midnight. I am fried. I want to sit in my dark room with a bowl of yogurt with chocolate granola and raspberries and snuggle with my cat and watch horror game playthroughs on youtube until im ready to go to bed

[milkxxx23]

how is it like to have adhd and autism at the same time

okay so its 6am and im sleep deprived getting ready for school but i suddenly remember an useless fun fact and decide to look it up while walking downstairs to catch the bus,then im in the bus listening to music full volume in my headphones bc socializing is hard af. then i zone out in mostly all of the classes and not participating and also drawing and scribling and taking messy notes, then im in that one class im surprisingly good at and get bonus points, then go to the break, talk to a few friends get back to class and im done. school is over lets get back home so i get in the bus headphones blasting music full volume and i zone out until i get home. im home now so i eat lunch and go to my bedroom and chill for a bit. then im doing my homework at 3pm like normally and all of a sudden my brain decides to randomly play petit poney and mio mao lalala mashup with a death metal sog on the background while im just trying to shut the nonsense up, fail, give up, eat icecream, stare into the ceiling and oh surprise its 7pm and i forgot to do the homework due tomorrow. so i start hyperfixating on doing the homework right after i remembered while checking for grammar mistakes while checking for misinformation all at the same time by ignoring that i havent had dinner yet and i gotta go to the bathroom. i finally finish the homework and go to the bathroom and eat dinner at 9pm, fall asleep at 3am due to fake scenarios and it starts over again

thanks for reading this stupid redaction have a nice day

[berryunho]

omg i know how u feel i don't think i'll be graduating in 4 bc i have to do co-op terms so it delays my grad by a year or smth?? we'll see how things go

wow that's so cool!! the dedication is immaculate i would always give up after a month or so. do you know any other languages aside from eng and korean?

ooo i'm kinda the opposite like nothing really interests me outside of courses in my major or other science courses. i've gotta do some arts credits and scrolling thru them is like... okay this sounds interesting then i read the syllabus and its like readings and essays and discussion groups then im like NOPE LOL BYE

that's so funny cause i saw someone sleeping in a corner of the stairs. ppl will sleep anywhere and i don't blame them. could you imagine falling asleep near the river ugh bless

omg yes like with chem i always end up working backwards from the answer (wink wonk) to see what i did wrong and usually it's a lot 😭

it wasn't too bad! it was kinda cold but not windy so i was okay. i still brought a jacket with me cause it was windy af during the day and i thought it'd be the same at night but nope there goes my money for coat check 😭

ohh!! that sounds fun, did you manage to find anything? red hair is so nice. everyone i've seen so far with red hair pulls it off so well and i'm lowkey convinced it's a colour that works on everyone....

thank you!! i did have lots of fun : D i might've died on the bus ride back... but we don't talk abt it..........

-mightychondria

yeahhh i have to get a masters degree for the profession im aiming for so... if everything goes to plan that's six years of university and i do NOT want it to be more 😭😭 hopefully your graduation doesn't get delayed too much ??

:LKFJDKFSJD:LFKJ oh boy languages and me... lowkey obsessed w learning them SO one set of my grandparents were german and didnt speak english so i know very basic german (my dad didnt think it was important to teach me. crying screaming throwing up.) and i got to be pretty okay at finnish at one point but i've forgotten ALL of it lol and i took 2 years of latin in highschool which was very fun but again i forgot most of it KLFJSFDLJK AND FINALLY i took a couple years of american sign language in middle school but i literally remember the alphabet and basic kindness' :'] ive also attempted swedish, norwegian, spanish, and french with ... immediate failure ! hehe

i get what you mean 😭for me its not that i dislike my stem courses but i actually love reading and writing essays and stuff and i just wish i could do more of that 😭 but the majority of my stem friends definitely would agree w you LOL

ugh for real it would be so nice to sleep outside in the sun i feel like ... living out that cat/dog life ... but id be too scared of being kidnapped LKJJFSKFJKS

that is definitely the way to do chem 😭 just gotta learn from your mistakes until there are none ! i had an exam last friday and ... i should be getting that grade tonight or tomorrow so im very anxiously waiting to see how i did ...

nooooo not the coat check money... i cannot even imagine how much clubs make in the winter just from coat check like 😭 some nights at one of my local clubs its literally more expensive to check your coat than to get in 😭

sadly i still havent figured out who/what to be... i think im gonna wait to dye my hair though so that it lasts longer ... so i really dk LOL im lazy tbh so i normally go for something i can just wear my normal clothes for... and since i just finished breaking bad im thinking maybe jane ??? i dress like her irl (though less 2008) and id just need a wig LKJFS:LDJKF BUT IDK !!! do you have any costumes in mind? or any plans?

hehe im glad you had fun but ... 👀 ... how ominous ... hehe i hope your week starts off nicely !! :]

[monpetitange]

This is a long post! I just had to write out this dream ive had before and i just had the same dream two nights in a row and i wanted to write it down before i forgot about it, because i think its beautiful

It start with that me and my bf had a wonderful romantic night. A month later i get to know im pregnant and im head over heels happy. But i didnt tell my bf right away as i waited a week or two. But once i took up the topic of our future with marriage and children he exploded on me and told me "i never want that, why cant you be normal and just enjoy this life we had" it broke me and then he dumped me. I moved out and moved  to the capital into a small apartment. I called my parents and told them everything. The next weekend they all arrived both my parents and my sibling came and helped me. They helped me move in and then we had a small celebration of my pregnancy. My pregnancy flew by and I gave birth to a healthy beautiful baby girl. My mom was with me the first 6 months with me and her granddaugther and ofc my siblings and dad came and visit me when they had free time from their work. Then fast forward 3years. My daughter is 3 years old and we live a great life. We have movie nights every day, we paint and do craft work. And everyday we cook together and every weekend we bake. I also started to stream my art and one late weekend night i was live. I had a blast on the stream with lots of laugh. Then i heard the door open and in walked my daughter crying, i dropped everything and ran over to her and asked her whats wrong and she told me something that broke my heart "why doesnt my dad love me?" i huged her tight and my eyes stung from the tears. I didnt know what to say but then i finally said "your dad loves you so incredible much, but mom and dad had two different dreams so we had to walk our seperate ways". I sat down with her in my lap as i put in her favorite song. The stream was still going and a mutual friend of me and my ex was watching. He knew i had a kid because he had seen the photo of me welcoming her to our family. But he hadnt seen her since then and he was shocked how much she looked like my ex. He then texted my ex asking him of he knew i had a kid. He said he didnt know and was shocked. He tried to find me on social media but i had blocked him on every platform but i hadnt blocked his siblings so the next day he asked one of his siblings if he could come and then borrow their phone to get access to my social media. He searched me up on Facebook and saw a newly taken photo of me and our daughter smiling in the early autumn leaves. He just looked at the photo and before he knew it tears had started to fall. He regretted everything and a aching pain started to form in his chest. Now he was determined he needed to find me talk to me. He saw the location i had tagged in the photo and booked tickets to the capital. He and a friend was going to the capital to find me and our daughter. A week later me and my daughter were out and shopping and enjoying the beautiful autumn day. We walked down the busy street lots of people where out but then i stopped because a few meter ahead of us stood my ex, my eyes were wide and I could feel butterflies in my belly but they fast turned to anxiety. I picked up my daughter and started to walk but in the process i lost my beret and my orange hair was showing which made it hard to miss. I could suddenly hear his voice scream my name. My heart were besting so fast i heard it in my ears and I couldnt figure it out if it was anxiety or butterflies in my stomach. But i suddenly started to run to the bus stop and right before the bus  closed its doors i jumped on but as i turned my head to look back at the doors i saw him, our eye locked and I saw once again does magical beautiful. My eyes were filled with tears and my heart ache because i never stopped loving him. The bus ride home was quiet my daughter had fallen asleep and I sat in deep thoughts until we arrived home. On the other end my ex and our friend waited for the next bus they had seen the number on the bus but had no idea what stop to jump of. But that didnt stop them from following us. First they jumped of to early and got lost, then they got onto to the next bus and this time they got the right place but they got another problem which building did i live in. But they started from the first building and after 30minutes they found my building. I had long forgotten it and me and my daughter were cooking dinner and had just put in a pie when we heard the door Bell ring. Without thinking i opened the door and froze, there he stood the man that i never stopped loving. Before i could open my mouth he pulled me into his arms and kissed me. I wanted to tell at him but i melted in his arms. After the kiss we stood there awkwardly, it was so awkward. And then i heard her small little footsteps and before i knew it she stood next to us looking up at us and then she asked "mommy who is this?" i didnt know what to say but then my ex got on his knees and looked at his daughter and said " hi my name is * * * * * * and im your father and this is your uncle" our daughter eyes glow up with happiness and swung her tiny arms around her father, he hugged her back. Then our daughter looked at me and asked if we could invite them to dinner. I hesitate first but gave in as i couldnt say no to her. It felt strange and yet so normal as we all sat down and had dinner. Fast forward to a couple of weeks later, me and my ex had started to date again, he hd moved to the capital and saw our daughter almost everyday, every weekend we all had dinner and went out together. Then at new year he asked me to be his girlfriend and after that our relationship went fast we got engaged a couple of months into the new year and in the early september we got married. This dream is so precious to me and yet very painful ❤️

[ssom-ssom]

My best friend left for college today.I made her a little something with a couple photocards of us,an old newspaper and flowers and butterflies cut out of a purple plastic sheet.I couldnt do what was important-pour out my heart into it because i had limited time to make it.I ckuld only write how she will forever be the only one for me and that I love her.I regret not making it earlier.I had so much i wanted to say to her in writing.Now i wont be able to see her and give her another something until i see her again.Maybe in a month? I hope so.I already had a shitty day and my heart had been feeling REALLY heavy since i returned from my coaching.I wanted to cry but i couldn't.idk why.maybe because i cried buckets a few days before.i just felt sad and empty.i had this weird feeling in my chest and a lump in my throat.

Her bus was scheduled to leave at 8 so she left the house by 7.She came to visit me at 5.I shouldve done something,something memorable,maybe dance together? like we always do? or sing a song? no we just cuddled and slept for like 20 mins that felt like a night.i sobbed quietly.i didnt want her to see me cry right before leaving.her mum called and she had to go get ready.i told her ill see her at 7.after she left,i got into making that card for her.I shouldve bought her something too.a ring? she likes jwellery but has tons of rings.ill get her one once shes back to visit again.she texted me her cab was out and she was abt to leave.i rushed outside with the little something which was unfinished but gave it to her anyway.she cried.i couldnt.we bid our farewells.then i locked myself in the toilet and cried like crazy.fuck my eyes hurt.she is someone i saw everyday.every single day.we would dance,flirt,watch nasty stuff together,wear each others clothes,make weird crunge tiktoks but never post them,bitch about literally everyone,cry,laugh,bunk classes just to sit in rdso and stare at boys(her,id just comment lol)prank people who passed by and so much that i cant fit.all im scared of is us drifting apart that just,happens.it has happened w me,w people i never wanted to lose and now i act so formal and not-myself around them because ive lost that sense of feeing safe around them.i could NEVER fall asleep in their places,always worrying about how rude and weird it would be.sleep comes easily in her room when we're cudding and so many times ive slept through so many hours.idk how my routine will be now without her but all i know is,i will trade this for anything in this world.

im so not gonna read this post.

[hoshiwhxre]

i am absl fucking knackered

[levantea]

Insomnia | h.hyunjin

Pairing: neighbour/tablemate!hyunjin x insomnia!y/n

Genre: some angst and fluff at the end :D

Rating: PG

Warning: curse words, arguments, slamming, throwing things lol, really long one shot splitted to 4 parts

Word Count: 10k

Author’s note: well, i suddenly thought of this theme cuz im having insomnia on alternate days so let’s not put it to waste, i really hope that it flows till the end cuz its my first time writing such long one shot, if you like it please like and comment !!

Synopsis: “All i needed was you to lean on me more.”

Masterlist 🖤

———————————————————————————

I hate him.

I hate everything about him.

I hate that he was always the one seeing my vulnerable side when i tried so hard to keep it away from the outside world.

I hate that no matter how many clashes i had with him, he still appeared infront of me without fail whenever i was at my worst.

I hate that no matter how much i hate him, my heart still beats for him.

Why can’t i resist you when i hate you so much?

ᴏɴᴇ.

“Day 465 of insomnia,” you mocked at yourself while looking at the calendar record on your phone.

It has been a year and 100 days since you were diagnosed with insomnia and no matter how many pills you popped in to drive your sleep, you still ended up having eyes widely open, staring into the darkness and the barely visible ceiling above you.

“What will happen if the ceiling falls?” “What will happen if i fell asleep someday and god just decides to take me away” you asked yourself these kind of stupid questions everyday at 3am. No matter how much you flipped on your bed, no matter how many soothing music you played repeatedly for the whole night, no matter how long your diffuser was on, no matter how dark the environment is, you still can’t sleep.

All was because of an incident that backdated to a day before you started falling out of slumber.

—

1 year and 100 days back

That day was a rainy day and you received a call from one of your classmates to pick up your ex boyfriend at a bar. You remembered clearly that he told and reassured you that he was just having a gathering with his guy friends whom they never met for a year and will be home before 12am. You always trusted him as he never betrayed or created any suspicions before, hence you didn’t stop him from going anywhere with his friends since he needed some personal time too.

You were never a demanding girlfriend that requested him to stay by your side 24/7 or spending large amount of money on yourself. All you needed was someone to lean on and listen to you, showering you with love that helps to compensate for the lack of love from your family. If you would like to compare your family against your close friends ones, you can simply conclude that your family is the most chaotic out of all.

Father was being a useless piece of shit that barely work hard to earn money for the family, mother was being a Type A who controls every single shit she sees. They both always fought, especially during the weekends, about money.

Money, money, money. Yeah, money is not the problem but the problem is having not enough money. Your family is mostly financially supported by your mother, which you can understand where her frustrations come from. It is just the way of her expressing was more like an attacking mode, eventually causing your self defense to rise. She would always find any sorts of reasons to pick a fight with you since you were 7 and things hasn’t turn well even though you are entering adulthood. You were raised up to be tough and you barely shed any tears, because you learn by hard that no one will understand you. The only source of happiness you can get from then was to have a boyfriend, and you did receive them until that day.

After ending the call, you swiftly grabbed an umbrella and dashed to the bus stop without wearing an extra layer outside to retain your body warmth. All you knew was to get there fast and bring your boyfriend home, make him a cup of hot tea and tuck him in his beds. You already got your plans out until it was shattered when you arrived at the bar and you saw most of his friends were tipsy or drunk, collapsing on the tabletop. However, the only person you didn’t see was your boyfriend, hence you approached one of his friends who was still partially sober as compared to the others.

“Jayden? Jayden is in….is in…. the… washroom i think,” he shakily pointed at the direction of the washroom, smiling foolishly before making a burp from the alcohol he took. You knew that he was going drunk soon so you quickly asked before he passed out. You mumbled a ‘thanks’ before walking to the washroom, while passing by many males and females who were around your age, clinging onto one another and making whispers to each other’s ears, exchanging seductive looks, making unnecessary touches on each others’ bodies, causing you to internally puke at the sight you caught.

How filthy this place could go, you judged.

You were never fond of bars or clubs as you felt that the environment was too shady and many people who went there were to find hookups, one night stands or friends with benefits, which were never your thing. However, you closed one eye as you heard that your boyfriend kind of enjoy it occasionally and you tried to understand from his point of view. Even though you dislike it, you can’t possibly stop him from going since he has his own rights too. And now you blamed yourself for being too kind on him when you looked back at it.

You finally arrived at the entrance of the gents toilet, but you were hesitating if you should barge in as you were worried if there were other guys in there, but you were also afraid that your boyfriend may pass out in the toilet before exiting the bar. After moments of self conflict, you decided to go for the riskier choice which was to barge in. Right before you pushed the door, a hand grabbed onto your wrist firmly, stopping you in your actions.

You turned around to find a guy who was almost a head taller than you, having a blonde neck length hair with a half ponytail, wearing grey contacts and his skin was pale and flawless, together with slight smokey eyeshadow. His lips were exceptionally attractive - pink, glowy and plump, passively seducing you. He was wearing a red and black racer long-sleeve shirt with a pair of leather pants that were hugging his torso perfectly, showing the outline of his broad shoulders yet thin waist, as well as his long legs which makes him alluring. Despite being taken, your heart still skipped unconditionally when he was intensely staring at you or even into your soul, while holding onto your wrist.

“Don’t go in,” his manly and husky voice projected to your ear and you hated to admit that he sounded nice as well. However, you felt more puzzled when he asked you not to go in, with the fact that you both don’t know each other.

“Why?” you spitted out of defensiveness. Being an egoistic and bold person, you don’t like to be ordered around and you like to act spontaneously. The more people ask you not to do so, the more you want to do it. Coming back to reality, you slowly started to feel offended when he just came out of nowhere, stopping you in your tracks as if he knew what you wanted to do all time long. As much as he was that charming, you still have some sense of rationality and bearing in mind that your task was to collect your ex boyfriend home.

“You will regret,” he also answered you sassily while tightening his grip on your wrist, making you feel uncomfortable and tried to resist his grip.. You snapped off as you started to lose patience talking to a stranger who acted all mighty infront of you. You internally cursed at the guy for being a nosy posy and you hissed at him, ignoring what he just warned you and forcefully claimed back your hand to push the door open.

“I told you not-“ the latter behind you rolled his eyes when he saw you ignoring him and as he was about to hold you back, you were already inside the gents and it was out of the distance that he could still grab onto you. He cursed silently before following your traces, praying that time would slow down before you see what you would never expected yourself to see,

but god decided to be evil that day, or the otherwise.

You went in seeing no one in the toilet and now you don’t understand why the guy earlier on wanted to hold you back. You already formed a bad impression of him in your mind but what was more important was to find your nowhere to be seen ex boyfriend whom his friend claimed that he was here. You saw all the cubicle doors were open and you became confused. You paused in your steps a little to process the whole place, until you heard faint sounds coming from your right side.

The janitor’s room.

That was the only corner you didn’t check as you thought that it was meant for the janitors and typically who in the right mind would hide in there when they are coming into the washroom. However, the closer you walked to the janitor’s room, the sound that was coming out from there also gotten louder.

It wasn’t just a normal fiddling sound, but more of obscene sounds, or you would call it as moans. You started to suspect if there were people having intercourse in the tiny room, which was kind of normal in a bar or club to have people fucking in any corner but the key question was, who were the ones fucking?

You internally prayed to god that they were strangers and better not be your ex boyfriend. Even though you said you trusted him, but the odds on him fucking in a bar with a hot girl was not entirely impossible. Anxiety started to kick in as you had cold sweat, trembling hands and your feet turned numb as you took each step closer to that room. The guy behind you could no longer stop you and what he hoped was, you wouldn’t overreact too much or create a scene in the gents room.

You mastered all your courage and took a peep at the small gap in between the door after taking a deep breath to calm yourself down. As you looked in it closely, you could see a male figure who had similar body build as your ex boyfriend but you couldn’t confirm as his back was facing the door. Waiting a little more, you finally saw the extremely familar face when he turned his position to fuck the girl in another position. What’s worse, the girl who was getting fucked wasn’t simply a stranger,

she was one of your closer friend in class.

Your whole mind just went blank. You still couldn’t believe your eyes who just caught the whole steamy session between someone you loved and someone you cherished. All the symptoms of your anxiety seemed to worsened and you felt like fainting in that moment, but you still gritted on your teeth and forced yourself to stay awake.

Hatred, betrayal, disappointment, distrust, anger - all sorts of negative feelings piled up in you at once when the scene still went on and sounds getting louder. You really wanted to tear the door down and confront them but you felt your legs were nailed to the floor.

Was it because you were being too taken aback, or was it because of your anxiety, or was it because you were not courageous enough to confront them?

You were standing there, absorbing whatever was playing for a good 5 minutes before deciding to leave that fucked up place and fucked up people for your own good. You arrived to a conclusion that there was no point wasting your time and effort to talk to people who don’t even respect you, not to mention about breaking your trust. Before leaving, you saw the guy who was stopping you earlier on leaned against the wall, watching everything that was showcasing infront of him as if he was watching a drama.

You hated him. You hated that he was there for no reason when it did not involve him at all but he just had to be there at such a right time right place to watch how amusing you are. You hated how he looked into your eyes with pity when you were already getting riled up and you hoped to walk infront of him and slap his face, asking him to stop looking at you as if you needed that pity.

What made you hated him the most was him running behind you after you dashed out of the bar, walking under the rain, in hope that the rain will wash away the filthy scene you saw and the dirty people you knew. He followed behind you for a good 15 mins and both of you were drenched as hell.

“Why are you following me? Do you know me? Do i know you?” you finally stopped in your tracks and turned to look at him, throwing questions at him to hear his response. You couldn’t care if he was going ro be hurted or offended by your words, because that moment you hated males so much that you prayed they will just disappear from earth that instant.

“I don’t know you, you don’t know me, i followed you because i was worri-“

“Shut the fuck up, don’t need you to act saint here, if you want to have a hookup just fucking ask it away, if not then fuck off,” you spitted at him as you glared at him in his eyes, only to find his gaze getting colder.

“Hookup?! What do you mean? Oh so you actually thought that everyone who go to bar are horny people who just wants to get laid?!” You could see that he was triggered as well when he took big steps and stood right infront of you, spitting into your face.

Even though you knew that only a handful of them are like that, but you were too preoccupied by your grievance and you spiky personality that gave rise to that conflict.

“So?! Don’t all guys do that? I don’t believe you guys just go to the bar, sit there, drink alcohol with friends when it could be done at home in the same way. If so, all bars can shut down already,” you retaliated back and it became an eye staring contest.

If only you were a guy, you sweared that he could have just punch you in your face because you were being such an asshole. He stayed silent after you finished your sentence, passively proving that your statement is somehow valid.

“See? I’m right, guys are no different from one another,” you letted out a sarcastic laughter and passer-bys were judging both of you, arguing for nothing while standing under the heavy downpour. You decided to turned to your heels and left him there, but your legs decided to give way at such a good timing, causing you to fall on your knees, right smack on the concrete path and bleed from the abrasions.

“Fuck my damn life,” you cursed as you felt that you have never been such a clown in your whole 18 years of life, especially in public and someone you don’t know and had conflict with.

He must be mocking at my stupidity, he must be and he have to be because i am one.

You tried to stand back up but you noticed that you strained your ankle as you stumbled upon your steps. You were close to falling again until you felt someone holding you firmly by your waist, preventing another tragedy.

“Stop being so stubborn woman, i know you are upset but get a hold of yourself first,” the guy behind you hissed, once again triggering your self defense mechanism and you tried to push him away.

“Why would you care? Let me die then, im better off- oi!” Before you could even finish your sentence, you were already being carried in bridal style by the guy you fought earlier, leaving you speechless.

“Did i sa-“

“You are talking too much, save some energy,” he cutted you off once again and brought you back to the direction that the bar was located and you questioned the route.

Rude bitch, you thought and rolled your eyes at him.

“Getting my car is faster than the bus that drives at grandpa speed,” he took out the key that was in his pocket and pressed to activated it in seconds. You were watching silently and lowkey in awe that he did everything so seamlessly and was weirdly mesmerising to you. You shook you head vigorously and mentally scolded yourself that you were being crazy and heartbroken, thus everything you saw and heard was wrong and you just needed to sleep it away.

You didn’t bother to argue with him anymore as you started to feel headache and body heating up due to the rain and the pain that was piercing your skin. Nonetheless, those cannot be compared to the pain in your heart that cannot be bandaged.

You find it absurd that after all the childish arguments you had with the dude beside you, he was still being patient enough to run his way to you and carry you back home. Even though your instinct was telling you that he most likely have another agenda against you, but it is still better as compared to your ex, who was still busy fucking in the janitor’s room and didn’t bother to give a shit about calling or texting where he was.

Maybe a hookup is better than a relationship, you started to reconsider your stand against relationship and wondering if you should open your choices, since you are pretty popular in school as well.

You took over the towel that was handed by the guy beside you to wipe away the raindrops on your body to avoid worsening your cold and you mumbled a ‘thank you’ that was inaudible, but you were too sick of talking about anything and just wanting to get into the bathtub and sleep.

But the problem is, even if you want to try to get some nap in the car, the moment you close your eyes, all you can see was the whole scene replaying non stop, which was comparable to a nightmare.

“Annoying piece of shit,” you cursed under your breath as you harshly opened your eyes and looked out of the window. The sleepiness was long gone as your brain can’t get that incident out of your brain.

The whole trip was silent until you arrived at an apartment’s carpark that you did not see before.

“Where is this?” you asked.

“My house.”

ᴛᴡᴏ.

Weird.

He is weird.

He is definitely not what he is.

As much as you could remember that night, you sweared that you didn’t expect yourself to walk out of his house safe and sound, you were ready to be thrown with questions such as “do you want to be friends with benefits with me” “trust me, i will treat you well” etc but it didn’t happen.

What’s more, a guy who is a badboy, who drinks, who smokes and vapes, who has tattoo on his arm and leg was freaking, taking care the shit of you. No matter how much you whined and pushed him off, he still stayed there in silent to clean you up, feed you with medicine, tuck you to sleep and comforted you when you woke up from a really bad nightmare.

That’s why you thought he was weird. Someone who don’t know you could take care of you so well, uncomparable to a boyfriend you had for 2 years.

You asked him, why did he took all the initiative, he just replied, “you were too broken to care for yourself and i am the only one there who can do it.”

It was unnecessary though, really. Which stranger in the right fucking mind would go to that extend and not do anything out of limit? He could have just ask for your address and drop you there, or bring you to a hotel and leave you there or even ask for more, but the whole experience felt like, you were his girlfriend.

Not giving up, you continued to probe him in the morning before you left until he finally admitted that “because you looked like my ex” that pissed you off. You were tilted not because he mentioned his ex but because he took you in due to your pathetic circumstance and he resembled you with someone that was his past lover when you don’t even know her, or even him.

“You know, i would rather you to not take me in and left me there instead of acting all nice and treating me like a princess when im not even your ex nor do i even know her. I know i am pathetic, but the things you did just make me feel like im even worthless, i can’t even be myself and i have to look like your fucking ex. If i didn’t look alike, you would probably ask me for sex or left me there already? Even though i am thankful for your care but really, if you already knew i am not your ex, then i would rather all this to not happen at the first place. Well, what has happened has happened, let’s just act as if we don’t know each other,” you dropped your lines and walked to the door, wearing your still dampened shoes. Right before leaving, you reminded him “by the way, my name is y/n, not your whichever ex that you dated.”

Honestly, you kind of regretted what you said after you left the house while taking a cab home. Maybe out of anger from the day before, you just transferred all your negative feelings to someone whom you barely know and don’t deserve to receive that from you, despite linking you to his ex. His intention wasn’t bad at the start, but you just felt like you hated everything you see and hated your existence on this world. If you could rewind the time, you hope to apologise to him for being so rude after he took care of you that night for no matter what reasons.

Maybe God has heard it, he planned it for you.

After you returned home, you mother asked you into her room and announced to you that you will be moving out with them and into another apartment as the rental fee has increased in your current house while she bought a second hand apartment which was cheaper. She also asked you if you would like to transfer to another college that is closer or remain. You told her to give you 2 days to think about and left to wash up.

From that day night onwards, sleeping became an almost impossible routine for you as you flipped through your bedsheets countless times, sourcing for remedies to solve your insomnia but none of them actually worked. Strangely, you also don’t feel lethargic in the day and everything goes on as per normal. You were not sure what exactly caused it but all you knew was, you felt your emotions getting numb and you barely smile anymore.

Also thanks to the insomnia, you made up your mind to change school as you summarised that the current college you were in was full of toxic bitches and you wouldn’t want to face the 2 of them anymore.

You get out of bed early next day to pack your bag and prepared to submit the transfer letter that you did it in the middle of the night. You only told a few of your closer friends that stick by you for the past 2 years. When you were packing your remaining books, your ex boyfriend came to you and acted as if nothing happened, asking why you didn’t answer his texts or calls the day before when you got home from the guy’s house.

You saw the girl that was getting fucked stood a distance away, staring at the both of you and you betted she thought you couldn’t see it. You didn’t want to act stupid anymore but just replied, “does it even matter anymore? You should care for the one behind you more.”

You smirked when he turned his head behind and saw the girl flustered when you caught her red handed. Your ex boyfriend turned his head back to you and his facial expression changed.

You knew something, or everything.

“Let’s end this Jayden, we don’t suit, and you already knew all time long,” you slammed the locker door infront of him, zipping up your filled bag and walked down the corridor to leave the school. You couldn’t care much about the latter calling you from behind, trying to explain what you saw was what you thought but, only ghosts would believe in that.

You were proud of yourself for ending everything in a day - transfer of school, breaking up with your ex, tearing the friendship apart with that girl and leaving that shitty neighbourhood. No tears were shed, no complains were made, only actions proven your disappointment towards the area you grew up in.

Your mother didn’t expect you to agree to moving out so fast as you always retaliated the thought of it. For once the house was peaceful during the packing process and it was done within 2 days to move into the new apartment. Before leaving, you took a one last, detailed look of the house you spent 18 years in and it is time to put an end to it. Maybe changing a new environment helps to bring your sleep back. Even not, at least it means a new chapter of life will be starting.

When the truck drove into the vicinity of your new apartment, you realised that it looked awfully similar to the guy’s apartment that you went. You rubbed your eyes and looked out of the window again. To your dismay, it is the exact apartment he lived in because you could never forget his block number - 203. If you did not remember wrongly, he lived on the 10th floor, and you were silently praying that you were not moving into 10th floor as well.

Once again, God must be kidding you and you started to believe that God is bringing both of you together despite how much you want to stay a distant from him.

The moment your mother pressed on the 10th floor button, you felt thunder strikes right infront of your sight and your anxiety came back again.

Shit, what if he is right infront of us when the lift door opens? Shit, what will happen if we meet along the corridor? Shit, what if i need to converse with him?

Many what-ifs were popping in your mind as you couldn’t stop yourself from overthinking the different types of encounters you would have with him and how should you be acting like.

The lift door opened and there was no one out there. You letted out a soft ‘phew’ to ease your palpitating heart as you walked towards your new apartment. Thankfully, nothing happened as the corridor was empty as hell and you managed to enter the house safely.

Even though God spared you that time, you mother didn’t. After all the carton boxes arrived in the house, you were busy packing until your mother gave you another smaller carton which was filled with rice cakes. It was a tradition that when one move into a new house, they will give their neighbours ricecakes and welcome them to their house for housewarming. You always hated people coming to your house as you felt that it was such a hassle and some people just don’t know what courteousy meant, freeloading all the food they want without feeling embarrassed.

You had no choice but to distribute them and you were really praying hard the guy was not home so you don’t need to face him but you guessed it was all meant to be.

Knock knock. Omg please don’t open the door, please don’t open-

Click.

“Fuck my life,” you cursed under your breath when you saw the door opened, showing a similar male figure standing infront of you. It has only been a week and right now you are standing infront of him again despite you swearing not to meet him again.

He smirked as he looked at you top to bottom, passively teasing you, “oh?! thought you said not to meet again? but here you are standing right infront of me without me inviting.”

You really want to turned your heels and leave but you side-eyed seeing your mum observing your actions at the door and you have no choice but to put on a fake smile.

“Oh uhm hi, uh we just moved over today so my mum wanted me to give you the ricecake…” you voice trailed off as you stumbled when giving the ricecake. You mum couldn’t bear seeing your dumb actions and she rushed over beside you, widening her eyes when she saw the visual of the guy.

“Materialistic,” you mumbled which was loud enough for the guy to hear as he smirked more under your eyes. Your mother instantly had a 360 degree change in her facial expressions and her tone was extremely polite, “Oh hi handsome! oh yes we just moved over, this is a ricecake for you, when you are free do come over to our house for a meal!”

You darted your eyes over to your mother and nudged her hands, but it was unsuccessful as she managed to avoid it before you do it, making you even awkward.

He took over the ricecake from your mother and smiled, “will do, i am free tomorrow night, i can drop by yea.”

You internally facepalmed at the 2 people infront of you and you really hope that the ground will swallow you up right now.

What the fuck was he trying to do? Didn’t i say not to meet again, don’t he understand?

You didn’t bother to stay there longer as you knew that your mother will probably stick around there because she had her eyes glued on him, as if she was choosing her future son-in-law.

“Let’s go mum, don’t bother people more,” you pulled her off and bring her back to the house.

You plopped down on your bed, roughly combed your hair back as you were still processing the whole moving house thing and how you actually became neighbours with the guy you don’t wish to meet.

“Crazy, this is crazy, life is crazy.”

ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ.

“Y/n, go set the tables, im going to call the handsome boy over in 15 mins time,” your mother ordered you from the kitchen as you glide your way from your room, unwillingly answered with a “mhm” to the kitchen to take out all the cutleries.

You were extremely unwilling to have that meal but you had no choice, who asked you to still being unable to be financially independent and move out of the house. It was only a day of peace before your parents start fighting moments back, until your father stepped out of the house to give each other some air time.

You always told yourself that “i don’t claim any negative energy from this” but you still ended up getting affected - unable to sleep due to anxiety, trauma, past problems haunting you. You tried to cry to release but you just couldn’t drop a single tear.

15 minutes was really fast as your mother almost dashed out of the house to knock on the guy’s door. You waited at your own house door to invite the guest in despite you pushing the role to your mum. It was her who invited him, not you. But you still gave in because she was close to picking a fight with you again so you decided to shut up and just stand there.

You could hear conversations exchanged between the 2 of them which caused you to roll your eyes. They barely knew each other but they were already talking as if they were each other’s godmother and godson.

“Welcome to our house! Make yourself feel like home okay, come take out your shoes and join me,” your mother served the guest as he bowed a little to show his gratitude, before darting his eyes over to you.

Why does his gaze always seems like more than just a stare?

You lowered your head right after your eyes met his burning stare and mumbled a ‘welcome’, closing the door behind you after he entered your house. He simply nodded and followed your mum, making you internally shouted a ‘sassy’ behind his back.

“Come take a seat, ill get you both a bowl of rice, you guys can talk first,” your mother decided to put on the “all nice mummy” figure which you don’t often see it in her.

You awkwardly stood by the table as you were contemplating where to sit. If you sit beside him, you both would be very close to one another. If you sit with your mum, you would be sitting opposite him and you have to face him everytime you eat. Either choice don’t seem very appealing to you.

“Why are you standing there? Sit beside him,” your mother glared at you for not knowing how to entertain guest and pointed to the seat beside him with her head as she placed the rice bowl on the table. She changed her expression in split seconds again and talked to him nicely.

Who is her biological child excuse me?

You silently walked to the other side of the table and sat down, looking down at the rice as you were unsure of where to look. Look at him? look at your mum? look at the pillar? Maybe looking at the food is better.

You saw a hand shifted a pair of cutleries from your right side and you looked up and back to your rice. You then realised you placed your own set with his because you were distracted. You mouthed a ‘thank you’ and shyly take them over, silently eating your food.

Throughout the whole meal, your mother was outright shooting questions at the guy, whose name was Hyunjin when your mother asked, never leaving out a single detail of it.

“What’s your name?” “How old are you?” “Where’s your family?” “Where are you studying?” “Do you have a girlfriend?” “What is your ideal type?” etc kind of questions. The more you hear her going on and on, you felt like covering her mouth and ask her to stop harassing him. What surprised you was, Hyunjin didn’t even show a single impatience towards your mother, but gladly answering every single of them as if he needed to. You don’t think he was stupid enough to not know that your mother was trying to dig into his background and to matchmake him with you.

Even after the meal has finished, she still held onto him to stay back for desserts that you wasn’t aware of until she took the icecream out of the fridge.

She planned it all. It was a propaganda from the start.

You really wanted to give her a round of applause for her plan and everything just fell into place so perfectly. You were so done with that day and you hope that the whole session would end right then so you could go back to your room and rest, but you didn’t know the both of them can possibly talk all night long and your mother seemed to be very satisfied with him, despite her telling you not to give a look at badboys when you were younger.

Finally after 2 hours, your mother decided to let him go and she asked you to send him back. You questioned why was there a need when his house was only at the other corner of the corridor. She just ignored and shoved you out of the house, rushing you to walk him back and you sighed.

You both awkwardly walked beside one another and thankfully it was just a 30 seconds walk. You were hesitating if you should apologise for the past but it felt so random if you were to bring it up again. As he was entering his pin to enter his house, you stopped him.

“Uhm, my mother was being abit pushy today, i hope you don’t mind, im sorry,” you apologised nervously as you played with your fingers uncontrollably due to your anxiety. The sorry wasn’t just a plain sorry. The sorry contains your apology from the past, the day before and that day, or everything since they start of both of you crossing paths. Once again, he turned around and looked at you with that intense stare, which you were afraid yet mesmerised by.

His eyes seem like they can hook my soul away.

It was quite awhile before he answered, “i understand, it’s fine, good night,” he ruffled your hair lightly, giving you a faint smile before entering his house and closed the door.

You froze at your position as you tried to process what just happened. Did he just touched your hair? Did he just smiled at you? Did he just-

“Y/n! You still don’t want to come home?!” your mother hollered from the other end of the corridor as you came back to earth and ran back to your house.

And how would you know that you would meet him the next day at the lift lobby again, wearing the same uniform.

—

“Morning,” he greeted monotonously as he saw you waiting for the lift to come. You greeted back and skimmed through his attire.

It was your first time seeing him wearing a uniform and his hair was dyed black. It was blonde a week back and he already changed colour fast. You also no longer saw the neck-length hair as he cutted it short, making him seem more down to earth now.

He still wore contacts but it was enough for him to look good despite without makeup. His tattoos were well covered since the sleeves were long, so he looked like a boy-next-door and he seemed more approachable now.

What approachable? He wasn’t mean at the first place…

The lift came and you both entered. It was awkward as none of you spoke anything and just silently waiting for the lift to reach the ground floor. Right before the lift door opened, you heard his voice from the side.

“Do you need a ride?”

You looked at him and saw him raising his eyebrows abit, waiting for your answer.

Although you were tempted, but you felt that it was better to stay a distance as, you both are not from the same world after all.

Status, family, personality everything about you and him just felt different. Even though he was a badboy despite having that scholar looking, it was definitely better as compared to a wallflower like you.

No matter where you go, what you do, what you say, you will never be the one who got the attention from people and quietly living your life, barely having people who were genuinely by your side to support you. Even though you didn’t have bad blood with any of your schoolmates in the past, you were still never the one that people remember.

Let’s not be stupid y/n, you both aren’t the same, and he saw the worst of you, don’t repeat again, remember how much you hate him?

“Nah it’s fine, i’ll take the bus,” you dropped your words and left the lift quickly, not giving a single chance for him to respond.

It wasn’t that bad to take a bus as well, you reached on time and head straight to the general office to collect your school and name badge, while your form teacher was already waiting for you there with a wide, welcoming smile.

“Morning y/n! Really nice to see you and having you here, come let me bring you to your classroom,” she lightly patted your shoulders which made you feel warm and finally, you don’t have to stuck with your lousy form teacher in your previous school who don’t give a shit about students’ welfare.

You nodded your head as you followed behind her tracks, earning some attention along the way and you thought they must be discussing that they didn’t see you before and you look new.

It was just a 3 mins walk to the classroom that was located in third floor and your anxiety strikes again before you entered the classroom. Your form teacher went in first to get the class settled down, before beckoning you to go in.

Why am i being a pussy now?

You swallowed your saliva nervously, taking a harsh deep breath before walking in the class as if nothing happened and stood infront of them.

Wow, so that’s what they meant by a school of visuals. You briefly browse through the whole class until your eyes captured an extremely familar face, that you saw this morning.

Bruh, he is really everywhere, you thought.

“Come, introduce yourself!”

“Uhm, hi my name is y/n and i just transferred from (prev school),” you ended your introduction briefly and signalled to the teacher that you are done.

She askwardly laughed and said, “i guess our friend here is pretty chill haha, uhm would you mind sitting next to Hyunjin? He doesn’t have a partner till now,” she pointed at the seat beside the guy and you saw him smirking at you, as if he already knew what happened from the beginning of your transfer.

“Ms Kim, can i-“

“Alright, this is it, do get to your seat soon and i’ll be starting the lesson in 1 mins time,” your teacher just cutted you off before gently pushing you to walk to your seat as she turned to sort her materials.

You felt your legs getting heavier as you took each step closer to him while hearing some nasty comments made by the girls.

“Bro what the fuck? She’s sitting next to him that i dreamt since year 1.”

“I know right, this is so unfair.”

“She’s so annoying, can she transfer back?!”

And it goes on.

You unwillingly pull the chair and sat on it, hooking your bag at the side of your table as you took out your materials, trying to ignore whatever shit that was said by your classmates.

It was only 5 minutes and i am already getting hated, am i a jinx of something?

“No you are not, they are the jinx,” the latter beside you replied while continue to look at his phone under the table. You darted your eyes at him and asked why did he know what you were thinking and you realised you subconciously spilled your thoughts under your breath and he caught it.

You felt like slapping yourself right now for being a dumbfuck infront of him, always and never fail.

You still couldn’t understand why suddenly all the connections became tied with him. Brokeup incident, neighbour, tablemate, and you were still unsure if there were more to come. It was hard for you to not hate him despite trying to brainwash yourself to think that you could start from 0 with him and make friends but now, you seemed like you couldn’t get peace in school as well.

Throughout that 1 whole year, you almost suffered nasty remarks made from girls across the school just because you sat beside the ‘Mr Popular’ and people were spreading rumours about both of you. He also didn’t try to justify anything which caused the rumour to stir even more, especially when he protected you from some people who were going overboard.

Thankfully, you still managed to make few friends who understood your circumstance and they told you that it wasn’t the first time that this kind of shit happened. But what was different this time round was, he didn’t stood up to clarify anything but protected you from those mean people. They also shared with you that even though he looked like a playboy, he actually never played with any girls in the school before except for a few exes that he dated for a period of time, before splitting.

As tablemates, he wasn’t that bad as well. He wasn’t someone hard to work with and he actually cooperated with you most of the time and listening to your plans. He also stepped in at the right time to stop people from verbal bullying you which ended up causing the rumour to spread more, making you going to school with stress everyday.

You would say that your relationship was neither good nor bad with him. Even though he was taking more initiative at times, but you ended up pushing him away because you felt like you don’t deserve him. But there were also times when you really felt like wanting to get closer to him, because you found yourself being attracted to his personality.

All these problems added on to your already heavy flowed worries and worsening your insomnia. Every night you thought of how to sort your love and hatred towards your neighbour aka your tablemate because you knew that you hate him, but you also like him. It made everything harder for you to face him in school everyday acting as if nothing happened while he continued to talk to you at times in class.

You felt apologetic because you were rude to him again when you felt conflicted in your heart as you heard him talking. You were being an avoidant bitch that don’t look into your heart carefully and ask what you exactly want, causing more hurt to people around you.

You always thought that keeping a distance from him would be ideal, so you shouted or cursed at him at times to develop more hatred in your heart for him, but you were wrong. The more you did it, you found yourself falling deeper for him as he always looked at you, silent, with slight frown in between his brows.

Don’t look at me like this, please, i am really trying my best to hate you, keep a distance from you, because i know that we are different, but you keep making me fall for you more whenever you said that “it’s okay, i understand” “sorry, was i being overboard?” “i’ll leave first so you can cool down” etc.

He never lost a single patience or temper infront of you, but always calmly walked away and giving you space to breathe. Despite not saying anything, he would always ensure you were safe and sound, watching you from a distance, leaving when he knew you were angry.

How many more to go? How long do you have to put up with this? How to sort your messed up emotions and feelings towards him? How to correct your insomnia when you noticed that, your brain was filled with him whenever you closed your eyes.

It was never about your ex boyfriend after 3 months of into insomnia, but its mostly about him. You hated the fact that he always sees you in your worst, trying to comfort you when you don’t want anybody to see it, offering help to you. The contradicting thing is, because of all these, you get to know about his character more and you fell for him.

“Lord, please give me an answer.”

ғᴏᴜʀ.

Now

“Did you take $1 million won from my bank?!”

“What? I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Don’t try to play a fucking fool here! You took it right ?!”

“So what if i took it? Aren’t we husband and wife? Why can’t i take it?”

“YOU STILL KNOW THAT WE ARE HUSBAND AND WIFE? YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO BUILD 1 MILLION WON? AND YOU JUST TOOK IT LIKE I PRINT CASH NOTES?!”

Pang, the sound of glass shattering could be heard.

You were in the room studying until you heard your father came back home and your mother started confronting your father about a large sum of money that was deducted from her bank.

Pang, another glass shattering.

You covered your ears to stop the conflict outside from affecting you. Your exams are in 5 days time and today is new year’s eve. Whenever you heard your parents fighting, your anxiety will be triggered and you lost focus in things you do.

No matter how hard and tight you covered your ears, you can still hear arguments, things shattering, slamming of items in the living room that grows your frustration.

“SEE?! I KNEW IT! YOU TOOK IT TO FEED YOUR LOVER OUTSIDE RIGHT?!”

“I ALREADY SAID I TOOK IT TO INVEST! STOP ACCUSING ME!”

“I DON’T BELIEVE YOU! IT WASN’T THE FIRST TIME ALREADY! IT HAS BEEN 20 YEARS!”

“AND SO? WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW? DIVORCE?”

“DIVORCE?! YOU GOT THE CHEEKS TO TELL ME DIVORCE? I SHOULD BE THE ONE SAYING IT!”

You had enough of the fighting outside and you decided to close your book and leave the house to get some fresh air. It will be awful to stay in the house and enter into a new year with conflicts.

“OKAY, DIVORCE THEN!” Your mother throw a book at your father but it unfortunately hit your head, causing a slight bleeding which caused them to go silent.

You quickly covered your wound with your hands as you looked at them wrongfully. You were so speechless with their actions and you couldn’t take it anymore and dashed towards the door. You can’t spend a single second in this house anymore.

“Where are you going?!” your mother shouted from the back as you opened the door, wearing your slippers and ready to leave.

“Where am i going?! Do you even care? Continue to fight, divorce as you wish, i had enough of the both of you already and im not going to spend my new year with you!” you couldn’t control anymore and lashed st your parents who were dumbfounded when they heard your response, and that was when the realised you are the most hurted person.

You slammed the door back and turned your heels to the lift, but stopping in your tracks as you saw Hyunjin standing infront of you, wearing a plain white tee with a black checkered cardigan outside, black leather pants and a pair of glossy black boots, holding onto his motorbike helmet.

He stared you from top to bottom, frowning at the sight when he saw blood is flowing from your head, trailing down your side face. You looked back at him while panting hard as your blood was boiling, together with your anxiety attack that made you hard to breathe.

Again, why does he always see me when im in the worst condition?

You rolled your eyes and walked past him, pressing the ‘up’ button as you planned to go to the rooftop to take some fresh air. As you were waiting, you just noticed you were wearing your homewear without your coat and you cursed under your breath.

Should i go back or should i just go in?

The lift opened right when you were contemplating, but you decided to take the risk and go without the coat. The latter outside was still processing the blood on your head and when he wanted to chase behind you, the lift door already closed.

—

When you opened the rooftop door, a strong gush of chilly wind welcomed you and you subconciously hugged yourself to retain your body warmth. You tried to step out and you didn’t expect the weather could be so cold and you slightly regretted to come to the rooftop, but even if you went out of the building, you will still be freezing as your coat isn’t with you - either ways also die.

“Just 10 minutes,” you told yourself as you rubbed your bare skin that is exposed in the air, until you felt something warm covering you from the back. You flinched from the cloth and as you turned your head, you saw Hyunjin standing inches behind you.

“You are going to get a cold if you continue to stand here,” he spoke softly into your ears which sent goosebumps down your body. His warm breath came in contact with your skin, making your cheeks redden from the close distance with him.

“Why would you care?” you replied tiredly while you turned your head to face the scenery.

“Of course i care, i can’t bear to see someone losing their life in new year’s eve,” he held onto your hands firmly, pulling you together with him and ignored the tons of questions of “where are you bringing me to” from you.

You ended up finding yourself in his house, again. The familiar interior design, the familiar housewares, the familiar fragrance smell circulating in his house, and the familiar position you are standing at.

“Hah, after 1 year and 100 days, i am back here again,” you mocked at yourself as you snuggled into his coat more, sneezing a few times from the wind you suffered.

Hyunjin didn’t answer you but gently guide you to his sofa, settling you down before getting a cup of hot tea from the kitchen and place it in your hands. He also took a medical kit from his coffee table and gently clean your wound.

“You know, you don’t have to treat me so well, after all the hurtful words i said to you,” you looked down at the cup of tea as you started to feel the urge of tearing up. Guilt just shoved you off the edge of the mountain when the cotton bud came in contact with your head.

“It’s my choice, you didn’t force me to,” he replied calmly as he continued to wipe the last bit of blood off your head and gently pasted a plaster on your injury, making you wince abit when you sensed the pain.

“That’s why i hate you,” you spitted as you placed the cup of tea on his table, darting your eyes to him. He paused for awhile when he heard the word ‘hate’, and continued to pack the medical kit, tucking them under the table before turning his gaze to you.

“Y/n, i really don’t understand why you hate me, did i do anything wrong?” your heart melted when you saw his eyes and hear his tone, and that’s when you knew he was hurted badly, by you, all this time.

You didn’t meant to hurt him at the first place, but just to be honest infront of him, as well as your feelings.

“I hate you, because you always see the worst side of me. You saw me crying, kneeling, begging, going crazy, getting humiliated, getting verbally bullied, anything bad that you can name it. You know, i really really hate to appear vulnerable infront of anyone, even to my family or friends, because i don’t want them to think i am weak, i am clingy, i am an attention seeker….that’s why i wanted to appear strong… but you always came in at such a good timing to see me breaking down, and you were the only one to pick me up from the shattered world despite not knowing who i am, ughhhhh,” you spilled everything infront of him and as your sentence goes on, tears that were accumulated for ages started to fall down uncontrollably and you are a crying mess infront of him now.

He quietly and patiently listened to your confession, gently reaching out to your hands as he saw you were trembling so much, crying your lungs out and you needed something to support your weak body. You reciprocated by holding onto his hand tightly, as if he was your lifeline.

“I am pretty sure it is more than that,” he responded to your words and you felt exposed. You stifled as you were crying badly as you felt his grip on you became tighter, giving assurance to you.

“You are astute as ever,” you laughed at yourself because you felt like you had already lost the game with him.

“I also hate you because… i can’t resist you…” your voice trailed off as you were shy when you confessed your feelings infront of him, heart pounding at insane speed as he sat closer to you.

He continued to inch closer to you, making you slowly shifting your upper body further from him until you felt a firm grip on your waist, stopping you from avoiding.

It is the first time you looked at him so closely and you noticed he has a beautiful and flawless skin, perfect facial features and, pink and plump lips that is so captivating. You saw the corner of his lips curling up and you went puzzled.

Why is he smiling? Did i say something amusing?

“So can i take it as you like me?” His husky voice ringed in your ears as you felt his soft lips brushing against yours, while one hand gently wiping your tear stained away and hold onto your neck to make you face him.

You opened your mouth slightly as you stumbled over your respond.

“Ye,yes,” you sighed as you raised your white flag infront of him. You saw his grin grew wider and you knew that you lost, you lost so badly and all the nights of thinking of him just got busted.

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1, happy new year!” you heard the children at the playground below shouting when they saw fireworks painted the lonely dark sky.

“Look-“ you were about to ask Hyunjin looked out of the window to appreciate the firework before it fades but all you knew was his lips came in contact with yours, tasting them delicately and passionately, making both tongues dancing beautifully with one another. You were hesistant at first but he just pulled you closer to him, deepening the kiss when you opened your mouth for him to explore further.

“You know, all i needed you was to lean on me more, i know that you had alot of misunderstandings with me when we first met, but my heart for you never changed, ever since i met you in the bar,” he hugged you closely to him after you both pulled away from the heated session.

“Happy new year y/n, the best new year gift is having you by my side,” he kissed the side of your earlobe before diving deeper into the crook of your neck.

You smiled at his confession and replied,

“I hate how you made me fall for you so badly but how much i hate you is how much i love you, and i guess my insomnia will be gone from now,” you pulled him away from the tight hug as you saw him pouted.

You leaned in to peck his lip and squeezed his cheek, making him pout more.

“Happy new year Hyunjin, and it took us long enough to get together, so let’s not seperate anymore.”

I used to lay in my bed,

for hours in the dark at night,

thinking about every possible thing in my life.

But i do not need to do so anymore,

because i found someone who can listen to me, talking to me in endless nights,

and most importantly,

i can be vulnerable infront of him no matter what happens,

and that is all it matter.

🦋

Author’s Note: Happy New year to everyone! I took quite a long time to finish this and i hope to publish by today because it is New Year’s Eve and i didn’t have time to vett through them so if there is any error, please forgive that as i have been really busy with schoolwork while coming up with this! If you guys like it pls give a comment cuz i feel v insecure abt this work omg but i also wanted to push it out cuz i like the idea ><

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