#i gotta animate again. i gotta get a job on something with a not cutesy style

[captainexplody]

Video Games

Inside the cool offices of DonkeyDoodle Inc, the hottest new video game developer company, the walls are multicoloured with all sorts of different patterns on them. There’s a pool table in almost every room, although half of the employees don’t know how to play pool. It’s just nice to have the tables there, y’know? Anyway these are some cool offices, let me tell you. Video game development is a tricky business, and the people doing it need to be relaxed and at ease. They need to love their job, they need to love coming to work and working incredibly long hours for relatively little pay and almost no recognition unless you’re one of the 5 big video game developers that people have actually heard of.

It’s time for a developmental meeting, which means that some of the big creatives get together in a big room (the pool table is in the corner covered with a sheet, they use it as a regular table where they place bowls of chips and other snacks, and also drinks and things of that nature) (there is a regular table in the room, but they use the pool table as an additional table) and shoot out ideas for their new game. They’re already working on a game, a video game recreation of the popular book ‘Catcher In The Rye’ that incorporates RPG and first person shooter elements, but there’s always room to try and come up with new ideas, new future potential moneymakers. 

Sitting at the head of the table is the lead developer and creative at DonkeyDoodle Inc, Paul Handjobs. He has a pipe hanging out of his mouth, the pipe spewing tobacco smoke all around the room. Along the rest of the table sit some other games developers, the ones that aren’t currently making the remake of ‘Catcher In The Rye’ that I mentioned earlier. It was in like, the last paragraph, you gotta learn how to read, man. I’m not talking about skimming through the whole thing, I mean you gotta really read something. Don’t just skim it, put the time in. 

Anyway Paul Handjobs stands up from his seat, his pipe still hanging out of his mouth, as he opens his arms warmly in front of the other members of the group.

Paul Handjobs: Ladies and gentlemen, but mainly gentlemen, let’s be honest it’s all gentlemen, and none of you are gentle so I guess just men. Let me start over. Men, we need to come up with something new, something fresh, something that will revolutionise the entire video game industry.

Paul Handjobs looks across the room in an impressive manner, before everyone there starts to laugh loudly and a little obnoxiously. 

Paul Handjobs: Ha ha only kidding. Let’s just regurgitate some other old games tropes with a new coat of paint over it and charge people $60 for it.

Everyone in the room murmurs to themselves about how this is a great idea.

Paul Handjobs: So here’s what I’m thinking. We do one of those cutesy platformers with a loveable animal mascot hero, the way they used to do all the time back in the 90s and I assume they still do to this day. So here’s what I’m suggesting we go with.

Paul Handjobs picks out a few scraps of paper he had wedged in his pocket, trying to smooth them out on the table before holding them up for the room to see.

Paul Handjobs: Ok so here is my design, I call this little character Stupid Possum Bastard.

The people in the room all squint their eyes to try and see the badly scribbled pictures on these little pieces of paper that are being held up and wiggled around.

Paul Handjobs: Yeah it looks great, right? It’s simple. People love little cute mascots, but they also love an edgy, adult sense of humour. So thats why we have a cute possum but also he’s a bastard. 

Somebody in the room raises their hand as if intending to ask a question.

Paul Handjobs: There will be no questions during this presentation.

The man slowly brings his hand down again, and looks a bit sheepish for having even dared to question the genius of Stupid Possum Bastard.

Paul Handjobs: So the objective of the game is, the evil Doctor Pisshands has created a machine that will suck up all of the vegetables in the world and turn them into some sort of lethal gas, and at first Stupid Possum Bastard isn’t interested because he hates vegetables, but then it turns out that Doctor Pisshands was the guy that ran over his dog a few years ago, so now Stupid Possum Bastard has a motive to take this guy down, over 5 levels including an ice level and an underwater level where he drives a submarine.

Paul Handjobs pauses here for some reason, and the rest of the people in the room crane their necks towards him, waiting for him to finish whatever train of thought he’s on right now.

Paul Handjob: Ok so lets get to it, people!

Paul Handjobs scrunches up the pieces of paper and puts them back in his pocket, as he beams with joy looking out across the room. His smile starts to fade as he notices the wall of blank faces staring back at him.

Paul Handjobs: What’s the holdup, gang? Let’s get to making games. I wanna see some preliminary sketches of how the first two levels are going to look ASAP, like before the end of tomorrow, get it?

The man who raised his hand earlier slowly raises it again, and Paul points casually at him.

Paul Handjobs: Ok, go ahead.

Simon Pincher: Urm... so... what? What’s this meeting about?

Paul Handjobs: Damn it whatever your name is, this meeting is about the new game we’re developing! It’s called Stupid Possum Bastard and I came up with it last night and decided that it will be the next game we make, so lets hop to it.

Simon Pincher: Well we’re already knee deep in developing the Catcher In The Rye game.

Paul Handjobs: Well we can make two games. 

Simon Pincher: Are we going to get double pay if we’re doing double work?

Paul Handjobs: Absolutely not. Anybody who doesn’t want to make my brainchild, Stupid Possum Bastard, is immediately fired and will also be blackballed from working in the video game industry and also will have to come to my house once a week and play with my dog. That last one probably doesn’t sound like a punishment but man that dog likes to run around and play, and I just don’t have the energy for it anymore! Anyway you all better stop asking me stupid questions and get to work. I’ll photocopy these reference pictures I drew and email them to you all. Good day.

Paul Handjobs bows for no good reason, and then he walks out of the room. The rest of the people in the room all look at each other with a look that says ‘whuuhhh?’ which in video game speak means ‘what the heck?!’ but also none of them want to have to play with Paul’s dog, because they’ve met that dog before, one time Paul brought the dog into work when he totally shouldn’t have but he did anyway, and everyone hated it. It’s not even really a dog, it’s some sort of strange indescribable creature. It’s like one of those little demons you see in cartoons from the fifties, know what I mean? Anyway the point is it’s hard to make a video game. 

[astaroth1357]

A Lazy Day with MC and the Brothers

I was just chilling one day and thought about how a lazy day in with our boys might be like… I like hijinks, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes we ought to slow down too, you know?

Check my Masterlist for more!

Warning: Slight NSFW-ish? I dunno how to tag innuendo...

Lucifer

First off, hats off for managing to convince the guy to just do nothing for any length of time. That’s some seriously impressive persuasive powers, MC, you sure you don’t know how to charm?

Lazy Lucifer=Sleepy Lucifer. He spends so many nights up late getting work done then follows it up by getting up early in order to wrangling his brothers. It's honestly like it all catches up with him... He’s sleeping in and he’s sleeping in HARD.

Might text one of his brothers to bring them in a late breakfast at some point (never mind the fact it’s practically dinner). Beel would be the one most likely to agree to it, but he also may just eat whatever he picked up on the way there so hopefully someone else is feeling charitable… Try Asmo.

Honestly, his entire goal is to not leave the bedroom at all. If he leaves, then he runs the risk of people seeing him… wait for it... relaxing. Oh, just imagine the scandal!!

Some classical music, a bit of conversation, and maybe a good book in bed would all sound like heaven to him. They may have to get up to make some tea to go along with it, just remind him that drinking coffee on your recharge days can have the opposite effect. The taste of coffee could always just end up reminding him of work anyway…

The evening can go one of two ways. Calm and peaceful or "stress relieving." If they chose the stress relieving option, best be prepared because he'll have a whole night's worth of stress to let out and he's going to need some help… 😏

Mammon

He’s going to want to be close to the MC the whole time, they can hold onto him or him onto them, whatever works. It doesn’t matter as long as there’s still some kind of contact happening.

A whole day with just him and the MC? And they don’t even have to be doing anything? Where can he sign up??

Cue a lot of doing nothing in particular with Mammon tangled up on them in some way: hugging their waist while he checks his phone, resting their legs on his lap during a gaming session, wrapping himself around them while they just have casual conversation. That kind of thing.

When they eventually get hungry then he might pop down to the kitchen and make them some instant noodles (I wouldn’t trust much else he tries to make since… well we know he kind of just adds whatever’s around to his food).

He might start getting a little restless part of the way through the day though, so they’re going to have to do something to get that energy out… 🤔

Use your imagination, I know this fandom can.

Leviathan

The reigning Prince of Lazy Days. Everything about Levi screams “goof off/game night buddy” (at least if the MC is a fellow otaku anyway).

He probably didn’t sleep the night before because he was playing/watching something so the morning will go down one of two ways: 1) He just pulls an all-nighter and begins to progressively lose his mind as the day goes on, or 2) He’s dead to the world until 2pm. Only one of those options is entertaining so you know what I'm going with.

Things will go pretty smoothly through the morning. They don’t have to go anywhere because his room has plenty of snacks so they can just chill out and watch anime or play video games.

Buuut stuff will get more dicey as the afternoon rolls around and his sleep deprivation sets in. He’ll start losing a lot of his filter and may ramble for even longer than normal with even less coherency. He’ll also get more um… "bold" than usual.

Or he may just want to cuddle with them while he babbles on about how much he loves them and how warm they are and how much they remind him of Henry, which reminds him have they seen the latest season of “My Life with Seven Demon Brothers Who All Love Me!” yet because the main character there also reminds him of them and-

He’ll pass out eventually, probably latched onto them somehow with his tail around them tenderly. Don’t bring it up to him in the morning because he will unsuccessfully try to deny it ever happened.

Satan

Not opposed to the occasional lazy day. It actually does good for his nerves since holding in all that pent-up anger can feel like stuffing an elephant into a tea kettle sometimes...

They’re going to want to get him out of his bedroom or the library if they don’t want to fight for his attention against whatever new book he’s eating through today. When the man gets engrossed then it’s like nothing else matters, the House could split in two and he'll only notice if he suddenly can’t reach his drink anymore...

May actually be advantageous to go outside with him, take a nice stroll around the House while having some interesting conversation. They could poke his brain about anything that suits their fancy while they’re out amongst the trees and nature.

If they don’t want to go outside and rather take their chances with the book then okay but the engrossment problem still applies. He may even forget to eat...

Best way to combat his lack of attention is to be a little brat that’s juuust cute enough not to piss him off. It’s a delicate balance. That means getting real close to him, like sitting on his legs, and just occasionally reminding him of their presence with longing looks while tapping, flicking, or messing with the book from time to time (yes, kind of like an attention-seeking cat).

Play it just right and they’ll get attention on them alright, but he may also be looking to punish his “needy kitty." Hope that’s what they’re aiming for... 🤷‍♀️

Asmodeus

Really? They want to do nothing? Nothing at all? Are they sure they don’t want to do him instead...? 😏

A relaxing day with Asmo is more or less like a day spent wrapped up in mutual worship and adoration. The guy wants all of their attention and love but he’ll return it and then some. As long as they treat him like the love of their lives it will honestly be like having their own day spa day in Heaven.

If the MC wants to relax, then he’s just the sort to know how to provide for them both. The only question is how do they want it?

The man can give them a full treatment, I mean, just look at his bathroom alone! A good soak in a hot bath, facial masks, back massages, mani-pedis, just say the word MC and he’s more than willing to bestow whatever their little heart desires. That’s his job, isn’t it?

Asmo may be a party boy, but if it’s a little TLC you need, emphasis on the T, then look no farther MC. He’s the guru.

On the flipside if they’re looking for a little release well… who better to ask than Asmo right? He’ll make sure they’ll never want to leave that bed again. 🤭

Beelzebub

As long as snacks are still involved then he’s all in, babe. He’ll do nothing with them all day as long as they keep him fed.

Two words. Couples. Cooking. They can’t skip a meal with Beel so if they’re going to spend lazy time with the dude then they better be planning on being a tag along to the kitchen.

It doesn’t have to be a super strict though, it’s not like they’re not cooking with Barbatos or anything, so they can goof off and make a bit of a mess together. Chances are Beel will eat the ingredients to whatever they’re making anyway so... 😅

A lot of lingering touches and just being close to each other as they go. He might want to hold their waist while they stir or they end up feeding each other in cutesy ways... Really it’s a ridiculously wholesome time.

At one point a food fight may break out and they'll cover themselves in flour, tomato sauce, or some other kind of messy food substance...

Careful, MC. Whatever they get covered in will likely only make them look more delicious to him and he might want to "clean them off".... They'll need to take that out of the kitchen, though, like what if someone needs a snack??

Belphegor

The reigning King of Lazy Days. Take notes, MC, for you are watching the Master at work...

Sleeping in and cuddling is a must. He will not let them leave the bed all morning for anything less than a Category Four Emergency (i.e. “I’m going to starve to death” or “I really gotta go piss”). He will pin them under his sleeping body if he has to!

Once they’ve thoroughly missed breakfast and half past noon rolls around he might call in takeout from Hell’s Kitchen for them to eat in the attic room. Expect some cheeky conversation, probably jokes at the expense of his brothers. Cuddling is still absolutely happening, of course, they cannot shake him off.

May borrow an anime from Levi to watch while they snuggle on the couch. He has all the best blankets in the House so they will be neither cold nor uncomfortable throughout.

His hands get a little grabby during these kinds of cuddle sessions, especially during tense moments in the show because he likes to give them a little jolt to make them yelp, the jerk... 😖

If he manages to not drift off during the show (flip a coin on that chance) the night will end in the planetarium, backs on a pile of blankets while they draw pictures in the stars… All hail the King. 😏

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep10: Kaiba Embarrasses Himself on International Television Again

We start off this duel by teasing us into believing that this is a part of a theme park:

The Kaiba theme park is a weird mix of actual horrorscapes and animal crossing cutesy stuff...you can really tell what parts were Mokuba and what parts were Seto in this park.

But Leon takes it well, just kinda standing there as he’s done this entire arc--being a general forgettable nice boy who just...doesn’t do anything. Like he gets up, he plays cards, he sits down. Having him on top of a rock with melodramatic Little Mermaid waves crashing at his feet is laughably the opposite of Leon’s whole vibe.

Leon just seems like the type that listens to coffee shop ambient Youtube videos when he wants to amp himself up. This kid appears to attend a private school...somewhere...I think, and just went to a dueling competition in his school outfit because he literally doesn’t have a style of his own hanging in his closet.

Like Yugi wears his school outfit, but he does that ironically, to off-set the amount of makeup and hair spray he has in his hair. Leon wears the school outfit maybe because he admires Yugi so much, but is like “time for my rogue bow I wear in my hair. That’ll scare my competition.” He completely missed the point of the 00′s alt school outfit scene.

I do way too much art to not see the imagery. I feel like this is half my job, and playing “where’s the hidden Freudian meaning?” is half the fun of going to any art museum.

(read more under the cut)

Anyway, Seto got tired of no one paying any attention to him, so he stepped out of his 14-monitor mancave, he very quickly pulled his Dragon outfit out of the (dirty) laundry, flicked a couple sea crabs out of his pockets, spritzed it with Febreeze and called it “good enough.”

Like, is it just me, or has dragon jacket greyed out a tad from last season? Like it’s starting to get a little...worn? Like what funk is coming off of Seto Kaiba right now?

Also notice that he brought his giant stash of cards to the duel. He’s going to put on this show as if he’s not going to pull out the giant stash of cards. But like...he’s going to pull out the giant stash of cards. Like Hell boring ass Leon is going to play his deck of Candyland characters again.

Leon is declared a winner on Technicality and it’s like.

Damn Seto, for reals?

So congrats, Leon, you did literally nothing, again, and yet you mystifyingly  persist on this show. Clearly you aren‘t going to grow a second head out of that ponytail like professor Quirrel in the last act of this arc.

That’s when Yugi’s hazy memory recalls something from the Before Times of “that time period before I was possessed by a needy ghost that eats up 3/4 of my memories and time.”

So Schroeder is Atari. Neat.

Also, this makes Zigfrieds outfits a hell ton more endearing when you realize he’s this Willy Wonka game company owner making toys for children. Kinda makes you wonder why Seto’s such a stick up the ass in comparison when it’s like--dude Kaiba, maybe you could learn a thing or two about whimsy. It could really help out your inconsistent park.

Anyway, Kaiba quickly realized who hacked the park and so, understandably, he asked Zigried to leave, which...backfired?

Y’all card culture is a lot. Everyone in the audience covered their faces in shame because they were so embarrassed by Seto Kaiba and I’m like...not sure why? Because he didn’t do a duel? Against this guy who snuck into his tourney not unlike Rex and Weevil? This asshole?

Recall that the last time Seto played a guy who had a fake name it was Marik freakin Ishtar and he killed a LOT of people (actually, it was Alister, pretending to be Pegasus, but he also killed a lot of people so that still tracks). Card culture can’t seem to learn from their mistakes, although Seto clearly sees the problem with dueling a professional hacker in a digital card game on a hologram that may or may not be able to murder you. At least its not a magic.

And so, tired of being humiliated on television, Seto decides to bust out the dueling gloves (well, not those gloves. You know what I meant) and use the equipment he BROUGHT WITH HIM and clearly never intended not to use in the first place.

(I hope you enjoy this dutch angle that wasn’t quite dutch enough, so it just looks like they’re lounging)

Roland patiently walks over from...somewhere? I don’t know where Roland comes from whenever he pops up, but he waltzed over to hold onto this suitcase as if that’s a formal part of his job.

I say this so often but like...I don’t know what Roland’s job is. He’s like a valet/butler/duel referee/duel cheerleader/CEO/and I will spend the rest of this series trying to understand it. Part of me is like...could Roland be a temp worker at an agency who just gets rehired for a different Kaiba Corp job every couple of weeks?

That weird ass fourthKaiba, I will never understand Roland.

Just one letter away from being a Zigfriend, Kaiba. Just one letter away. I know this because I misspell friend a LOT.

Zigfreind? Zigfriend? Damn it, both of them look the freakin same to me, this sucks! Why can’t I spell friend without autocorrect!?

Just the amount these two fight when Seto clearly barely even remembers who this guy even is.

Leon shows up in the seats, pretending that he’s totally cool about winning on a technicality right after Zigfried went on a rant about how shameful, irredeemable, and mortally embarrassing winning on technicalities are.

He seems to take it pretty well, smiling, sitting next to Rebecca, and then dissolving right into the background because this kid’s whole deal is being way too nice to exist on this show.

Y’all we just had that art meme where people were redrawing that “How to draw manga face” and guys...that’s what our anime used to look like.

I mean look at that uncomfortable chin there, that tapers in for some reason. Those eyes melting off of her face. The lack of any 3d sense. This was an anime ideal for a very, very long time.

Anyway, the “how to draw manga face” is a perfect masterpiece and never needs to change. (But it is fun to make fun of it although I guess the person that drew it was actually a kid, which makes sense from a publishing perspective to have a kid make a book about how to draw stuff for kids.)

We see a little flashback of Schroeder and why he hates Seto Kaiba, and can I just say, I kind of love this little outfit. Kind of a shame that it’s stuffed into a flashback.

Which is when we found out that Zigfried thinks Seto Kaiba did a plagiarism.

Which is hilarious because it was Gozaburo Kaiba who was plagiarizing Seto, so like...who did it first?

OK guys. Lets talk about this.

APPARENTLY, there was some sort of contest to work with Pegasus...kind of like an architecture contest (which is a thing, when a city is doing a big project, they send out a call, and big firms will compete to see who builds it) and I GOTTA know what Pegasus’ theme was.

Like did he say to all the little rich kid geniuses “I would like something that makes my cards ALIVE, can you do that?” Then when Pegasus got a hell ton of holograms and was he like “But ALIVE--it makes it alive, right boy?” And when he was shaking the hands of each stupid kid was he like “So if I hypothetically put my dead wife on a card and slapped it into the machine--could she EXIST. Like...enough? I just need her to legally exist is all, and not like..literally of course...but enough literally to be a sin against God, can you do that?”

I just want to know if Willy Wonka Wonderkid Von Schroeder had any idea he was creating a resurrection chamber for a dark wizard. Like he has no idea that he dodged getting his business bought straight from under him and his soul shoved into a card. And it’s not like Schroeder was going to abduct Yugi’s Grandpa and ensure that Yugi would be there to save him down the road. Like I’m pretty sure Schroeder would have been sacrificed waaay before that whole island contest even went down.

Zigfried got so freakin lucky. I can’t believe he’s mad. But then again...

...the man swims in milk pools so like...maybe his logic center is busted? Maybe he wanted to die in a horrific murder island? I don't know what Zigfried is into, but I do know that because Zigfried doesn’t have millennium rod powers linking him to the millennium eye--so would it have mattered? There’s destiny reasons that Pegasus chose Kaiba.

Course...we never found out where the scales ended up, have we? We think it’s Shadi, but have we seen Shadi bust those out since Season Zero?

Man that would be a good plot twist that will absolutely not happen.

Yo, make horse guy into a dark wizard, show, I dare you!

Anyway, that’s all for now, but if you want to read from the beginning, here’s the link:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[brooklynislandgirl]

Beth and UARF!Billy - ❤♡❥ღ💕💘💝💓💌💟💙💚💜💛

Heart-Eyes || -

Five A.M.

Beth’s barely awake as she comes into the office, coffee in hand, only to come face to face with the widest grin she has ever seen on Hal Gates’ face. Dark eyes dancing, he relieves her of her thermos cup, takes both her arms in his hands, and swing-dances her around the cramped space where they work.

“We’ve done it, girl!”

Though abjectly confused, Beth can’t help but grin in return. “Wha’ve we done?” She wants to be just as thrilled, wants to share in the old man’s joy. “We’ve got data on white pointer mating! I’m running the compile now, we should be able to parse it and watch the video footage within an hour or two!”

She’s floored.

The shock is clear on her face, even her mouth drops open a little. Often bandied about as the Holy Grail of marine biology, great-white mating is known to exist. Despite decades of research into the habits of the species, that particular bit of knowledge has eluded marine biologists.

“Wha...? How?”

“Mate of mine, Crawford down in New Zealand has taken a fisherman’s eye-witness account on our elusive little friends, and shared video. Crawford sent me all of the data.”

“Oh, Hal.”

Dr Gates nods at her eagerly and once again promenades her around some tables, brushing past a stack of hastily shoved aside folders with charts of migration patterns, weather reports, and feeding data. Then, far more carefully, he hands her into a seat and plops down into an office chair, slapping his knees in pleasure and pride.

“Speaking of mating rituals...”

Beth laughs but blushes at the same time, eyes askance. She suddenly knows what he’s going to ask, or at least of whom.

“...And since we have so little to do until all the research is collated and complied...”

“Must we?”

“No finer time, girl.”

She holds her hands up to stave him off until she gets up, crosses the room and takes a sip of her coffee. Not exactly how she wanted to start the day, but there’s no real reason not to humour her mentor.

“Have at, den.”

“Excellent.” Hal Gates really is an inveterate old gossip.

~*~

❤: who is more affectionate in public? in private?

Beth laughs. Okay, so this isn’t really so bad. “I t’ink I gotta say...I’m more affectionate in public. Mos’ of da time, Doctah Manderly... just doesn’t know what t’ do. Very stiff, hands in his pockets or stand at parade rest.”

The last cocktail party had been a half disaster, between trying to get William to mingle with the public attendees and not leave to check on his seals at first opportunity. The one time he surprised her was when he put a hand on the small of her back though the illusion was broken when she found that the six-foot-six man was trying to ultimately hide behind her. No amount of mock-tails were going to spare him any acute discomfort.

“Probably for da best. No offence, but he’s very definitely...ah....British.”

“None taken.” Hal offers her a wink and taps the side of his nose.

“But even behind close doors? He just... lil uptight, I guess. I sometimes wonder if mebbe he’s worried about havin’ an episode, and some affections are difficult when you have a service dog nearly t’ree-quarters ya size intent on doin’ her job, but I’d say he at least tries when it jus’ da two of us. Fingahs in my hair, brush against my arm. Da kine.”

Hal nods, knowing the specifics without having to drag them out of her.

♡: who is the bigger romantic openly? secretly?

"I t’ink,” she begins, carefully considering this one. “Dat anyone who loves da sea so much dat dey would give up a whole life to dedicate demself to it...got a big romantic soul. What is da ocean, if not love an’ life, an’ all dat we dream of in songs an’ poetry? I only t’ink it’s harder for him to express dat because well..”

She makes a dismissive gesture.

It isn’t that he grasps the concepts of language and expression, they’ve certainly entertained passionate arguments, verbal jousts that have filled the air with sign and countersign.

“Romantically speakin’ I jus’ don’ see him as da type dat I’m gonna find outside my window wi’ an ole boom box, playing In Ya Eyes by Petah Gabriel, ya know? But I also don’t believe he wouldn’t t’ink about it. So secretly? Him. Openly, me.”

❥: who is more likely to plan something big for valentine's day?

“Honestly, Hal...I’d have t’ say him. He’s a planner. Wants every detail to be perfect, will second guess himself a hundred times jus’ to make sure dere no wrinkle in the research. Me? Always been da spontaneous kine, except when it came to really wantin’ to work wit’ you.”

Hal pats her lap, his face soft.

ღ: who is more likely to initiate hand-holding in public?

“Again, it would be William. I don’ know wha’ he’s t’inkin’ a lot of da time, if he’s even aware dat I am dere sometimes. An’ I don’ really wanna make a big deal about it, don’ wanna ovahstep. For me, it’s a much more difficult proposition, is like...touch is where I’m most comfortable, outside of typing endless notes or readin’ data.”

She nods toward the words scrolling along the screen. She fully disclosed her disabilities when she applied for the position so thankfully she doesn’t have to explain now. Most of the other people at the facility don’t even really notice. Except for maybe Ben who sees too much and maybe says too little. That’s to be expected though when you gather a bunch of scientists and stick them in one beautiful place.

“You want him to initiate more, don’t you?”

“I would, yeah. But dere always more important kine and so really guess it nevah really matter.”

💕: who is more likely to make huge declarations of love in front of other people?

“Fair question an’ I guess dat would be me. We...we agreed not to make a big t’ing about any of dis, you know how quirky everyone here is, an’ in case it doesn’t work out, we don’ want da kine t’ get weird. Especially wi’ James an’ Miranda. So if somet’ing like dis were t’ happen it’s probably because he push all my buttons an’ my tempah got da best of me, right? Could see it happenin’ over breakfast. On da beach. Mebbe by da pools.”

Which is why she tries so hard to keep her passions in check. She doesn’t want to blurt out anything that can’t be taken back.

💘: who developed a crush on the other first?

“Couldn’t say,” and in those two words it is the breadth and depth of her honesty. Beth doesn’t have crushes in the same way most people do. She’s never seen anyone and instantly found herself immersed in fantasies, desires, a desperate need to be around them. She might find someone intellectually stimulating and enjoy the conversation. She might notice that something about them calls to her artist’s eye and be aesthetically pleasing in its symmetry, someone might make her laugh but she doesn’t dwell. And by the time there is the first inkling that she might want more out of a situation or relationship, she’s already become close friends. Or she watches as that object of her affection drifts beyond reach and she tells herself she’s happy because they clearly needed something more than she’s even capable of giving.

And sometimes, Beth wonders if she isn’t really broken or damaged in some way. Because she can’t even say she ever had a crush on Billy. She doesn’t know that she can say she has any expectations other than they look good together on paper, and it’s been drilled into her since birth that appearances *do* matter. “Mo’beddah you should ask him.” Gates doesn’t say anything, he only nods.

💝: who spends more time (possibly overthinking) what presents to get the other?

“William. For same-same reasons as Valentines Day, an’ da need for everyt’ing to be as exactin’ as he can make it. Like, how hard and how long it take him to find...or more likely, *breed* dem two purple neocardinas in my office?” Shrimp like the two in her tank, deliriously happy and spoiled and free of predators, are rare in size and colour, and yet… there they are. Then there’s the allegorical evidence of his severe and frothing dislike of mass consumption marketing, the complete commercialisation of every secular and religious holiday, the pastiche of feelings tacked on almost like an afterthought.

💓: who initiates most physical contact?

Beth hesitates. That’s slightly more personal than the other questions so far and truth be told she’s a little ashamed of having to answer without specific parameters. But it is a question, and she did agree to answer them with the same honesty as she offers Hal in all their other work and conversations. “I’ve always done well wi’ sensory input dat was based in kine oddah dan auditory. Smell, taste, seeing… but of alla dem, touch has always been important to me. Textures, near imperceptible data processed t’rough skin. An’ I guess dat I use dat wi’ him. Way to express ideas or sensations dat might not come across ordinarily. Enthusiasm, excitement, humour, rage, disappointment. I wan him to feel an’ understand when I don’ have da words in me, or know how to express. A lot of da time, it’s accidental or at least….subconscious.” A beat goes by. “I don’t believe he really cares much for it.”

💌: who is more likely to send cutesy texts to the other?

This one is hard for her to answer because they aren’t really cutesy text people. Most of their days are too filled with very real world drama, service to the greater good, the understanding and conservation of the most vulnerable environments and animals within. There’s weather, there’s reports, there’s an entire litany of experiences that don’t leave much time to play around until well after hours when they can finally seek well deserved liberty. However, Billy does sometimes send her pictures of the seals doing very cute seal things, or Annie shepherding him and his charges with the boss-vibes of the Queen Mother. In the end she only offers her mentor a smile and a shrug.

💟: who spends time reading their zodiac compatibilities?

“Oh absolutely I do. Find da whole pseudo-science of it fascinatin’, especially when da stars are not in da same position as dey were when it was invented an’ da psychological impact it has on our species is jus’ totally wild, you know?”

Beth knows that she’s the textbook definition of a Cancerian woman, and Billy does a good job providing a counter-argument on being a Libra. Further there’s a bit of an annoyance factor; he thinks junk science ‘belongs in the bottom of the bin with the rest of the rubbish.’ And he has a point, to some extent, even if she doesn’t agree with him. Not everything can be cold facts and numbers. Sometimes a little playfulness was in order and he absolutely needed to be reminded of that.

Hal laughs and shakes his head. “You’re going to do my chart then, aren’t you?” “Wit’out a doubt, Doctah Gates.” She wiggles her brows.

💙: who is more protective?

“I think objectively, I am. You know William’s troubles, and I have to keep them all in mind dough it’s not like he can forget dem, right? Some of his facts aren’t… I’ve consulted with some medical doctors and if we are careful, dere’s a lot he can experience dat he sees out of reach but I don’ like bringing dem up because I don’ want to agitate him. Only can lead t’ problems.” She does wish though that he’d trust her a little more, that he’d let go of some of his well deserved fears. That he’d let himself out of his shell and accept that even with limitations he can do many of the same things as the rest of the group does. But he seems content enough to hang back, ever the observer. And she doesn’t know if it’s her place to try to drag him into things though she might be better at it than anyone else. Miranda has told her as much.

💚: who tends to get sick more often? who is better at taking care of the other?

Hal’s question is really a continuation of the previous one and once again she has to call Billy out on it. Because she’s never really been sick a day in her life, not since early childhood and the culmination of that was the test bite that nearly lost her the leg she keeps tucked away, hidden out of sight whenever possible. “Dat seems a small kine ingenious, he no can help his seizure disorder. An’ I feel like he really ought to have a good psychologist. I t’ink some t’erapy would do him good. Spends too much time in his own head an’ mebbe not enough taking charge of his life. I know he can be afraid of lots of t’ings but it nevah really *has* to be dat way. But I also don’ wanna push him, for same-same reasons I mention before. You can lead a shark to chum but no can make him frenzy, know what I mean?” The analogy is silly. Billy wants so much more than what he feels he has. And a darker current in the back of her mind wonders if they would still be the same if he felt he could reasonably have them. That feels so selfish and toxic and she really has no place casting judgement on him when maybe she’s no better off than he is, only expressing it differently.

💜: who said "i love you" first? or, if neither has said it yet, who is more likely to say it first?

It’s strange how perceptive he is and goes in for the killing bite. The honest truth is that neither one has said it. And neither one likely will. Billy has layers of guilt and trauma, has beliefs that she cannot get a single foothold to try and tear apart. He doesn’t feel deserving of such a finer emotion. And Beth? She has her own reasons. She doesn’t even know if love is a thing that exists or if it’s some fairy-tale people tell themselves to make it easier to get by. She believes in affection, and she believes that people bond the same way packs and pods and herds do. But she feels the concept of love is poisonous. Ruinous in the way it can destroy someone from the inside out. And how any time she’s ever thought she’d felt it, it was ripped out from her grasp. She won’t say it. She won’t hear it.

She doesn’t answer him immediately, but instead gets up and paces away, appearing as though she’s checking on some of the cameras situated around the bay. The wall that she’d left down for Hal goes back up, slamming into place.

“Research from both psychology and neurology fields have found that there are twelve different areas of the brain that light up and work together when two people are attracted to one another, releasing chemicals like dopamine, adrenaline, oxytocin and vasopression. All the symptoms people experience are simply animal-instincts provided to guarantee that we as a species survive by either wanting to mate, or flee.”

💛: who believes in soulmates?

And Gates understands he’s made an error in judgement, though he’d only been trying to be helpful in a meddling kind of way. Anyone at the facility could see that Billy and Beth were two sides of a very quirky but ultimately needed coin. That they’d both changed each other in the two years she’d been a research fellow, and how they’d both blossomed for it. Well, anyone but the two of them. And this had seemed like such a good idea at first, tied into shark mating habits which he’d hoped she’d take better than she is.

Her answers have thus far matched up quite nicely with the boy’s.

Sadly, especially this one. She doesn’t turn to look at him. “There are no such things, Doctor Gates. And even if there were, statistically it would be almost impossible to meet a soul mate. Within the same general age group there are about a half a billion potential companions all over the world. One would have to travel the entirety of the world, every remote pocket of the planet. Secondly, there’s no scientific proof that souls even exist, and enough studies across various disciplines to prove that they don’t. Believing in such nonsense only makes a person unhappy. And all that aside, most mammals are not biologically programmed for monogamy and I doubt human beings are either.” Because if they were, why would anyone leave someone they claimed to love?

[otomeshistarlight-blog]

Houshin Engi: What Could Have Been

Some background into this review: I owned the Western release boxset for Houshin Engi (localized as Soul Hunter) back in the early 00′s. I thought it was pretty mediocre and only watched it all the way through once. By no means was it the worst thing I’ve ever seen, but even without having had any experience with the manga it was based on, I could still tell that it just wasn’t a very ambitious project - even for the 90′s. So when it was announced that Houshin Engi was getting a new anime series, I was thrilled.

‘Finally!’, I said to myself. ‘The proper adaption this classic shounen deserves!’

Sure, reboots and remakes are a mixed bag, and sometimes they only succeed in tarnishing the good name of the original (Sailor Moon Crystal), but I was confident that this would be one of the good ones. Knowing what a low bar the first anime had set, I really didn’t think the 2018 series could be any worse.

Y’know ... I always hate when I’m wrong about something.  

The plot: The story is set in legendary China. A beautiful female fox spirit named Dakki is controlling the emperor Chu-o and the ruling Yin dynasty, and is using her power over him to do evil in the nation. An immortal-in-training named Taikobo is chosen by the great immortal sages for the Houshin Project — to seal away or destroy the evil demons that infest the world. Throughout the course of his adventures, Taikobo gathers powerful companions and sets out to seal away the demons and eventually destroy the fox-spirit Dakki.

Sounds fairly solid right? Based on what I’ve gleaned, Houshin Engi is one of four great Chinese tales with the other three being Saiyuki, Sangokushiengi and Suikoden. The manga was published in Weekly Shounen Jump from 1996 to 2000, and is comprised of 23 tankoban. The first anime aired in 1999 and had a total of 26 episodes which, as far as I can tell, only covered the first third of the story. The 2018 anime had 23 episodes ... and I’m sure you can already guess where the problem lies.

Why it was bad: Where the 99′ series took its sweet time fleshing out the world it was adapting, the 18′ series came flying right out of the gate at a hundred miles per hour. You barely have enough time to comprehend what’s even happening because it rushes through all the setup while giving you just enough information to kind of piece the story together so it can (presumably) get to the good stuff. The only issue with that is once you get to the big Sennin war ... you’re more than a little confused regarding why the war is even happening in the first place, and there are about twenty characters you’ve never seen before that you’re somehow expected to just know what their roles are. I mean, it was bad. Honestly this was quite possibly the worst attempt at storytelling I’ve ever seen, which is a serious accomplishment. 

As an example, the three Unsho sisters.

They’re just ... suddenly there one episode, and all the other characters act like they know them so clearly some mildly important information was skipped. I was willing to go with the flow, because I already knew what a shoddy adaption this was by the time they make their appearance and I didn’t want to get too hung up on it. But then Venus suddenly says something about being Taikobo’s wife, which is apparently her motivation for helping her hubby’s team, but its never mentioned again and we don’t even get some stupid flashback to explain how they know each other. 

And trust me when I say that this anime did not shy away from the flashbacks. It seemed like there was at least three every single episode right towards the middle of the arc which made it feel cumbersome and like the plot was dragging. The director really used them as a crutch and any information that should’ve been supplied to us in a natural way earlier on in the story was conveniently given a brief flashback sequence so everyone could move on with their lives. 

But the sisters weren’t the only ones who didn’t even get a courtesy flashback ...

Hiko’s talking sword! One episode he doesn’t have it, the next he suddenly does and we’ve no idea where he got it from or what its abilities are! Guess you’ll just have to read the manga if you actually care about it that much. : /

Same thing with the paopei Karyuuhou that Tenka inexplicably has, and only uses once for plot convenience. 

Oh, I’m sorry? What is a paopei you ask? Fuck if I know because the anime made absolutely no effort whatsoever to explain a single goddamn thing. You’re just expected to either have previous knowledge of the series, or accept the fact that you’re a filthy secondary and stick around for the ride. There was just ... a lot wrong with this adaption and I really don’t know why they wasted their time, money and resources on this. Like, yeah, I guess the Sennin war was interesting enough on its own but does that really make up for the fact that you have no clue whats going on about 70% of the time?

I think not.

Why it was sort of good, if you squint really hard: Okay, real talk. The character designs are just okay.

And I have a hard time deciding which version is more egregiously campy.

But they really went all out on a lot of the backgrounds which were more often than not beautiful. There was some mighty impressive CGI, which is something I usually dislike on principle alone, but its clear where most of the budget went and I’ve gotta give credit where its due. Special effects were used to the animation teams advantage so what would’ve normally been a run of the mill static sequence became eye catching enough to be passable. Even legitimately good in some cases. 

Additionally, the voice actors did a great job and I can’t think of a single one that truly dropped the ball in their delivery. Sakurai was particularly fun to listen to as Supushan (the weird hippo thing) for his cutesy, whiny voice which isn’t usually the sort of role he’s given. But the real MVP here was Okamoto Nobuhiko who truly sold his performance as Outenkun. Seriously, I’d give him a gold star for this if I could because he really seemed to put his all into it. 

In the end, I’d say both anime adaptions were pretty bad, but in different ways, which was not what I expected at all. I just started reading the manga so I can can get a better feel for the series (because it IS an interesting world, with some great characters, and I feel a bit cheated if I’m being honest) and I’ve gotta’ say, this is leaps and bounds more enjoyable than both anime combined. It really didn’t deserve to get this sort of treatment twice. Maybe eighteen years from now Houshin Engi can get the adaption it truly deserves if we’re lucky enough. Until then, don’t waste your time on it.

My final score: 3/10 I don’t recommend anyone watch either anime adaption, read the manga instead. You’ll get a lot more out of your experience. 

[shewasanamericangirl]

i just played the NDRV3 demo again (didn’t remember you can get a bonus from playing it...that is, playing it on the same system you’re getting the full game for) and i want to post my impressions of and predictions for the setting and characters and so on. it will both help satisfy my hype and distract me from this horrible cold i have. there’ll be a couple spoilers here from the previous games/anime, but the info about NDRV3 is all from the demo and official website.

the school, if you can call it that: okay, i’ve seen it called a prison and i’ve seen it called a school. fact is, it’s a ruin. the overgrown foliage gets me right in the aesthetic, damn. an aboveground ruin doesn’t seem like a great place to imprison anyone, though--you’d think it’s not that structurally sound. (opportunity for an unexpected death, maybe?) could it have been reinforced from the outside? i’m sure monokuma wouldn’t let all this take place somewhere the walls could be easily shattered by a few carefully aimed steel tennis balls from ryoma.

...oh my god. ryoma’s got balls of steel. i just realized that now.

the goddamn intro video: okay...so in the intro everyone has the same eerie fuchsia eyes as class 77-B in the OP for the later episodes of DR3 despair arc. on one hand, this series is too smart to do something like that coincidentally. on the other, this series is also too smart to recycle the same twist. it has to mean something, right? at this point the best i can say is “well, that’s probably gonna turn out to mean something” and move on.

kaede akamatsu: very cute. i like her musical hair clips. apparently she was made fun of for playing the piano from a young age, but why? it’s the most normal hobby ever. pretty cool if you’re good at it, too. (i...sadly...was not.) poor kaede just wants a peaceful and happy high school life with her friends, but i’ve played enough dongobongo to know that’s not where this is going.

K1-B0: excellent pun name which i really hope gets explained in the english version. my adorably awkward robot son. when i saw the first few character designs i thought he’d be the protagonist because, you know, the hair. i don’t want K1-B0 to die, though if he does, i’d prefer an execution over a murder just because i’d love to see the “robotic cinnamon roll” cliche averted more often. buuuuuut until proven otherwise, he probably is a cinnamon roll. his recording ability should come in very, very handy for providing evidence!

supreme dictator kokichi “i’m brother, LOL” oma: reminds me of todomatsu, because he manages to be both undeniably cute on the outside and utterly rotten on the inside. lay off my robot son, you little creep! in japanese he refers to kaede as “akamatsu-chan”; not sure if he’s acting cutesy or being inappropriately familiar. he’s a guaranteed red herring for as long as he’s still alive. i think he’s gonna get murdered. i’m going to enjoy this character despite him being a piece of shit. possibly homosexual; must remember to investigate further.

detective...wait...saihara? yeah, saihara: i want him to take his hat off already so we can see what his hair is like. what if *gasp* he has an ahoge, and it turns out he was the shadow protagonist all along??? anyway...his aptitude should be a big help in trials, and he’ll probably survive...for most of the game. i hope we don’t have to hear about his inferiority complex too often.

gonta “everybody’s bug encyclopedia” gokuhara: my other new son! he aspires to be a true gentleman, but he never wears any shoes! he’s the big strong one in this game’s cast, so odds are against him surviving chapter 4...they're not going to have a third character in this role die a heroic death, are they? i want to hear him talk excitedly about bugs, and i want to learn more about his wolf family too. love my boy gonta.

ryoma “i’ve got balls of steel” hoshi: okay, so...he was on death row...but then he was sent to this school instead? what? how does that happen?? he seems interesting! it’ll be hard to take him seriously when he’s got the same voice as gundam, though. i wonder if the fact that he’s killed before will ever make him a red herring, though there’s already three more likely red herrings from what i’ve seen.

??? rantaro amami: this guy’s capacity to stay cool under pressure and negotiate have got to be related to his SHSL talent. diplomat? politician? lawyer? hostage negotiator? he’s kinda cute...i have no idea what’s gonna happen with him. a murderer, perhaps?

gimp boy: *tabs back to official site* korekiyo shinguji. okay. that unfortunate mask is the first thing we all noticed about him and most likely the memento we’ll keep long after he’s dead. his questionable sense of morality makes him an obvious red herring, but it also gives me the sense he’s no murderer--i think he’d prefer to hang back and observe the chaos rather than actually kill someone himself, unless of course he has a burning desire to observe the beauty of a struggling, dying murder victim firsthand. very, very interesting guy. as morally ambiguous as komaeda, but sadly, not as good looking. probably gonna get murdered himself, and will find the experience ultimately beautiful. alternately, the most likely student to use the “feel free to eat anything you like” rule as an excuse to experiment with cannibalism.

himeno...himiko yumeno: *yawns* kinda gimmicky. i think her magic is in fact real, which would make it way funnier that she can only do magic tricks. probably gonna murder someone, because wouldn’t a magic show-themed execution be the best? perhaps she’d be able to pull out some genuine magic on the verge of death...only to get killed anyway.

tenko chisomething: damn i really thought she was gonna be cute up until she started being a dick to naegi in the demo. she surely has her reasons for being a sexist twat (to be revealed in free time #5) buuuuut i don’t think anything can make me like her. a possible red herring if a male student is murdered. will probably get murdered herself. i dare you, game: make me like her.

tsumugi: oh my gosh, she is cute. how i’d love to wear one of her creations! i love how kaede gets all bubbly over her. i’m expecting her to deliver on those promised anime/manga/video game references! no predictions yet for her...

tojo the ultimate maid-san: way too freaking cool. she got offered a job to take down a country? why couldn’t there be a maid this cool in fire emblem fates?? she’s so composed all the time, so i’d love to see what can genuinely ruffle her feathers. i’m guessing she’s a murderer. she probably has a katana concealed inside a broom like plum kitaki.

aja...augie...angie yonaga: clearly not the ultimate phlebotomist for a reason. just how much blood does she sacrifice on a regular basis? just where does it all go? okay, she’s gimmicky but cute. will probably live long enough to get on my nerves, but in the meantime, it’ll be fun hearing atua weigh in on things.

kaito: comes off as really smart in a really dumb way. i don’t know why he had to pass the astronaut exam before graduating high school so badly, but you gotta give him credit for succeeding. my instincts tell me he’s either a survivor or a murderer...but then, he probably wouldn’t be a murderer seeing as we’ve already had two executions involving rockets.

mako...maki: very, very cute. the first detailed character design we saw. up until meeting her in the demo, i was certain her talent would be something more action hero-y than child care. well, we know the core of her tragic backstory already. i hope she survives.

miu iruma: okay, she’s lewd. i can appreciate wanting to increase productivity when you’re sleeping. frankly, i’d love an invention that helps you breathe while asleep...though, actually, those already exist. maybe i’d go for the reading invention, then! i’d love to see her talent potentially come in handy. unfortunately i fear her dirty comments are going to achieve fukawa levels of annoyingness by the time she dies.

monokubs: oh look, merchandise opportunity! all they need is a purple one. i can get behind monokid’s fondness for going “hell yeah!” the demo lead me to believe monodam never talks, but he does in one of the trailers. so...who the hell built these things? not that i was all that satisfied by monokuma’s origins (aside from the fact that he is, in fact, made out of palm trees). i don’t think i’m ever going to give a crap about the monokubs...

i’d love to see if anyone else is making a post like this with their thoughts about NDRV3′s setting and characters! anyone who knows the story already, i hope you had a good laugh at how wrong i am.

[akumapearl]

general media consumption update before i ignore tumblr for another week: finished octave-finally-and gave touhou a shot. Octave is amazing im convinced the author is a genius the characters were perfectly crafted for the world--in the beginning i thought it had to be autobiographical bc of the mc’s incredible nuance but i really think these characters are just created perfectly to interact with the jobs they have.

there was such a focus on work and motivations and LYING oh god it was hard not to mad at mc sometimes but she was so excellently written i really really understood her--sometimes the drama feels trite or unrealistic but you’re always brought back down to earth through the reactions to it and I’m really liking that the end wasn’t so fatalist as her first trip back home? i really thought her parents would shun her and life would be horrible but the story took a much calmer approach...also can i say i love the portrayal of idol as something so human? god damn--anyway if you want a good yuri read, or an interesting MC study then octave is masterful (also in the vein of yuri-none of the characters are inherently attractive, when someone is it stands out--there were no cutesy designs)

anywho touhou! wow!!! the amount of character and information that can be conveyed through a fight is just..insane...the game design here is really wooing me--its not like im well versed in analysis of games but they feel really good to me (except when i tried 13 that was not fun?) i love the character designs and of course the music is godly ive always enjoyed touhou music--you couldn’t be on the anime side of yt in 2010 w/o it

ive only tried a few--i played 9 first-it’s the easiest and really REALLY fun! 8′s gimmick is awesome and i find it very intuitive-10 is the one that has me really thinking...

I already have an otp, no other pair in the games has come close-i feel like they were meant for me (my 3rd otp with two blondes if Riina counts as a blonde--why this trend?) 

while playing i couldn’t stop thinking about a touhou game with homestuck characters theres just SO MUCH that can be communicated with the bullets and backgrounds and music its blowing my mind!!! also.....gotta say this is satiating my crave for undertale again but the success of beating flowey is diminished by the fact that i haven’t and likely wont be able to beat any touhou game on normal-like flowey is this  all powerful character getting beat out by just regular touhou fare--i feel like beating him might not have been much of an accomplishment after all (it was, beating him took a long time i think)

[fangirlingabout]

You Have My Attention, Disney

Isn’t it nice to be excited for a reboot? Or, at the very least, cautiously optimistic? 

Granted, I more than understand the hesitation. I don’t think reboots have ever had a great reputation, and they can take away resources from potential, original properties making their debut (especially in today’s sequel-driven, nostalgia-loving, cinematic-universe-mass-producing market). Which is why the phrase “reboot potential” sounds like execu-speak that leaves you feeling ... kind of dirty.

But, if you know me, you know I love another show that was just a reboot made to sell toys because, ultimately, the new team of creatives put in so much thought, love, and creativity into that it became its own thing.

Clearly I’m talking about Voltron: Legendary Defenders.

Oh, alright, and Pony (if you’re ever not sure, just assume I’m talking about Pony again; you’ll be right 90% of the time). And aside from the fans I’m told the franchise had originally, no one was expecting it to be a good show-- that’s a case where the reboot surpassed its predecessors and in a huge way.

And, hell, I wouldn’t be doing my job right if I didn’t reference how well the Star Wars franchise is doing again, even after the infamously abysmal prequels! 

Pretty much the entirety of 80s and 90s culture either has or will get some kind of love. Hey! Arnold’s creator Craig Bartlett is finally getting to make The Jungle Movie, Samurai Jack’s getting a 4th season on Adult Swim, Power Rangers are back on the big screen next year, and just about every other property you can think of has something. And if not, they’re probably just saving them for the NickToons movie (which is also a thing that’s happening).

Meanwhile, Millennials just aren’t nostalgically profitable yet, I guess. Seems like all of our properties either get reboots that aren’t marketed towards us at all:

get continuations that get screwed over by the network

(If you’re wondering, that’s official artwork by co-creator Bryan Konietzko; I just felt the need to use it because wow dat’s gay)

or don’t get reboots period, even when the creators express direct interest in making a return.

Or, you know, made a deal with someone and found a way to never leave to begin with.

*Pokemon’s started in the mid-90s, but if you grew up in 2000s, you’d count it, too, it was huge for us.

My point being that while reboots and revivals have troubling downsides, take it from a Millennial whose starved for them: getting a good reboot can still be a thing to be celebrated.

Especially when you’ve got one that looks this intriguing.

Back to DuckTales

So, the voice cast looks like they’re kicking ass. It’s only one element of a show, of course, but whether or not the star-power wows you, the idea that it just might be in good hands may. 

See, Disney XD is sort of a weird channel. If I’m remembering correctly, it’s not included in some number of cable packages, but Disney Channel (prime) is---meaning, this should be where shows go to die.

It’s also technically Disney’s animation channel. Which says a lot about where Disney is now. (If you want some real insight into Disney’s television history, Saberspark made a video about it---“Why does the one of the greatest animations studios of all time struggle to provide animated content for television? It doesn’t make any sense!”)

You 90s kids will remember the Disney Afternoons on the main channel---the program block DuckTales originally thrived in. A lot’s changed since then (the video goes into how and why), and the Disney channels DuckTales is returning to greatly needs its help.

Wander Over Yonder, for all the love it got, suffered the consequences of airing on an off-shoot of the Disney Channel instead of the real deal. Not every show that ends up there is doomed, but for instance, Gravity Falls made the switch to XD early in its lifespan, and OH MY GOD WAS IT JERKED AROUND IN TERMS OF ITS AIRING SCHEDULE. 

We’ve recently seen worse, and it’s not exactly uncommon, but for a show that became that popular that quickly, it’s shocking to remember just how wonky the airing schedule was.

The remaining survivors on Disney XD are Star v.s. the Forces of Evil, Milo Murphy’s Law, Star Wars Rebels, and Penn-Zero Part Time Hero (... well, okay, and Pickle and Peanut and something called Future Worm). What’s working for them now is a mix between action and comedy---which is what we’ve been lacking in Western cartoons for a while now.

Voltron, which just today released its second season on Netflix, is probably the best example of a classic action cartoon. It’s sort of got an overaching narrative, but each episode focuses the action in an episodic, beat-up-the-baddies and/or solve-this-team-and/or-character-issue vain. 

It’s been traditionally true, on the whole, that Western animation holds its roots in comedy---from Walt Disney himself to Disney XD today. But the rise in action cartoons around the late 70s--late 90s (don’t quote me on that) could sometimes elevate the animation towards more adult themes without it being... well, what we call “adult” animation. 

We know for a fact that any show---whether it’s deceptively cutesy or even downright cheesy---can approach darker and/or mature subject matter nowadays, but that’s partially why the fact that we don’t have a lot of Voltrons (which is super 80s in a loving we-know-where-our-roots-are kind of way) is a little disheartening.

Plus, action cartoons can choreograph cool fight sequences or chase scenes and I like when the cartoon box makes the booms.

DuckTales, for as silly an idea as it sounds like it would be on paper, apparently rocked. I’ve gotta full-disclosure this bad-boy and admit I was too young to catch the original properly, but from what I can tell, there’s a reason for that nostalgia. And what I’m getting at with all this is that DuckTales 2017 joining the ranks of the other action comedies on Disney XD is absolutely a step in the right direction. 

Who knows what kinds of adventures and subjects it will actually cover, but continually proving that action shows are marketable (especially on a channel that’s only in 68.8% of American households with T.V.s v.s. the 82.7% the main channel enjoys), only welcomes more good action shows in the future.

So, yeah, not only does DuckTales itself have potential to be something fun and awesome, but it has the potential to build off the successes of shows like Star v.s. and show executives people will respond to this kinda stuff. When you think about what reboots would do some genuine good to bring back, you might not think DuckTales, but who knows?

Here’s hoping all that potential amounts to something.

[queerloquial]

every odd number!

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?you better have, we’re kinda dating 

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?iunno, whens the last time you said something that made me go “cfghvjb fUCK yOU”?

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?not to my knowledge, but if there is they can go fuck themselves bc idfc

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?vault boy tshirt, gray sweatpants. my regular comfy sleepwear stuff

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?i wear jeans anytime i have to leave the house, but if i dont have to go out in public and hide my wookiee legs i actually prefer shorts to either of those. i also rank chef pants higher than sweats bc they breathe better

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?i am antisocial as fuck, my dude. if i could get away with living in my bedroom and talking to like three people total ever, i so would

13. What about ‘R’?i think this is in reference to ‘have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with ___’, in which case, no. i have never kissed anyone, at least outside the “small child gives/receives cheek kisses from family or other adult considered to be basically family” sense

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?yEs. i give so many shits, all of the fucks, and even a couple hecks

17. When was the last time you cried?i think like a week and a half, two weeks ago it was like 2 am and i was tired n lonely and re-read some of ur letters to me. it was a happy cry dont worry. u make me do that a lot

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?nah i like blue

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.that stupid fuckening dog did not shut up for one damn minute after i let her out at ten last night. she barked for eight hours straight and for six i had a headache, i have slept a grand total of 32 minutes and it is now 7 am. hlep

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?to my knowledge yes. unless “im going back to bed, love and kisses~” is secretly your way of breaking up with me :P

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?you do~

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?it you

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?i think i got it from fye at the mall. either there or gamestop. i dont remember

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?theyre lined up on top of my desk. the only thing hiding them is the handful of non-alcoholic glass bottles i also have collected

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?ehhhhhhhhhhhhh i kinda have a Thing with pain so i have a heavy aversion to getting anything pierced

35. Did you have a dream last night?no bc i couldnt fuckening fall asleep

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?idk my dude. the future is unpredictable

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?idk. maybe if ur still awake theres a chance but if ur not then probs not

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?i would hope so, ive been waking up before dawn every day to tell you i love u and i would hate for all that effort to have been for nothing

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?in those words exactly, not that i can remember

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?yes, but theyre all from early high school and i really ought to go in and take them out but. effort. and i dont even really use facebook anymore

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?yes. all the time

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?nah, two years ago i had a job

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?i think this was my dad? so no

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?well when youve been aromantic for over 20 years you dont expect to develop a crush on ur cuteass mutual so

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?all but two people irl think im a conservative straight cis girl

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?see number 13

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?yes

61. How’s your heart?emotionally its doing fine. physically i could probably stand to cut back on sodium a bit

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?no

65. Are your toenails painted pink?no, theyre black

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?i wouldnt know, ive never been a girl and ive never had a boyfriend. but either way that sounds kinda weird, like i mean sure, promote healthy expression of emotions, but “love it when they cry”?? that sounds kinda messed up my dude

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?a lady from my church whose dog im watching for part of this week

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?it youuuu again

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?lol no

75. Did you wake up cranky?a BIT YES. god i hate dogs

77. Are relationships ever worth it?hell yeah, but you gotta be willing and actively choose to put in the time and effort to support one another through all situations, not just the cutesy happy fun times. it can be hard work, especially if one or more involved parties are neurodivergent, but it is completely worth it to have a relationship based in genuine respect and trust and honesty

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?buddy there aint a day that goes by that i dont daydream of what itll be like when we can finally meet irl

81. Last person you cried in front of?if this is strictly about physically being near someone, and discounting headmates, then… i dont actually remember. i try my best not to cry where people can see

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?i feel like you might be at least a lil bit

85. Are you over your past?well my brain is irreparably damaged and i still cry when i remember that i have at least one person who respects my feelings and consent and i generally try to block out all memories of life before college but for the most part yeah im totally over it :)

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?well i would say no but then we did recently have that convo re: “tier 4 kinks” and tbh that was like the last big secret i was holding in so i guess yeah i do

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?i dont remember the last person i kissed, if animals dont count, so im just gonna give a blanket no

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?well i hope so

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?no

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?ye~

97. Who do you have texts from?you, family, best friend, some people from church who have needed me to petsit/house-sit/bake things

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?see #13

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?no

[sprunggeoduck]

So I wrote a thing

Recently, I put my nuzlocke run on hiatus. To scratch my writing itch, I genderswapped my protagonist and her rival and put them in a cutesy real-world coffee shop AU. This is the result.

random writing stuff

“Calima. Nice… nice name.”

This particular customer is different from the others. Normally, as soon as someone catches sight of my name tag, they say something. It’s taken him a week and a half.

“Oh, uh, thanks,” I mutter in reply. “What’s yours?”

“Well, it’s nothing special,” he says. “Just Lucas.”

I’ve had Lucas figured out for a little while now. Just didn’t know his name. He’s an intern for Flare Designs, the fashion company with five floors of office space in the building above the coffee shop. I could tell by his rather fashionable attire, and by the sketchbook he always seems to be drawing in while his coffee gets cold. He’s on the shorter side, only an inch or two taller than me. Olive-skinned, with black hair that hangs to his shoulder blades. Probably not attractive to too many people. Girls tend to prefer taller guys. Of course, he works for a fashion company, so who said anything about girls? He’s pretty shy, considering that it took him a week and a half to say something about my name.

“Hello?” he says, prodding my arm.

“Oh, sorry,” I stammer, collecting myself. “Must have spaced out. May I take your order?”

We spend half of September like that, knowing each other on a first-name basis but not knowing much more than that. Then, out of nowhere, on a perfectly ordinary Tuesday, he rushes up to me, sketchbook in hand.

“Calima, check this out,” he says, breathing heavily. He’s clearly not very athletic.

Without another word, he shows me a sketch of a rather beautiful dress. The design is smooth and flowing, almost ethereal. I’d wear it, but I doubt I could afford such a thing on my meagre wages. I don’t have the money to buy nice clothes. It’s why I draw them.

“What do you think?” he asks, smiling.

Nothing I couldn’t come up with.

“It’s fantastic,” I reply, sliding the sketchbook back to him. “Why did you show me, though?”

“You’re the only person in here who isn’t a complete stranger,” he chuckles.

“Good to know you think of me that way. Anyway, I… I draw. Sometimes. Not very good at it.”

“Oh, really?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. “You know, I could… teach you.”

We stand in silence for a few very awkward seconds.

“Only, uh, if you wanted, though.”

I spend a few more seconds deliberating.

“If you don’t feel like it, it’s fine,” he mutters.

“No, no, it sounds great! I finish at three. That okay with you?”

“I don’t finish until five, but I’ll see if I can worm my way out early. Should we do it here?”

“Sure.”

Lucas walks away, and I stifle a grin. Suddenly, someone grabs me from behind.

“What the fuck was that, Callie?” Shaun, my coworker, snaps.

“It was nothing,” I reply casually, keeping my voice down because Lucas can probably still hear us. “Nothing of your business, anyway. You’re just mad because you don’t have a cute fashion designer teaching you how to draw.”

“He’s an intern!”

“Do I look like a girl who cares?”

I shove him off and return to my station, checking my watch. Two and a half hours.

After my shift ends, I duck into the bathroom and touch up my makeup. I’m stuck in my rather plain work clothes, so it’s the best I can do to look decent. After I’m done prettying myself up, I spend a few minutes grappling with my nerves before emerging back into the coffee shop. I glance around, looking for Lucas. Annoyingly, he’s nowhere to be found.

Fuck. I bet he bailed on me.

He said it might be tricky for him to get out of work. I don’t know why I got my hopes up, to be honest.

Suddenly, he barges through the door, holding a briefcase. He catches my eye.

“Calima!” he says, waving with his free hand as he approaches me. “Sorry I’m late.”

“You’re only, like, ten minutes late,” I assure him. “Chill. Anyway, I know the plan was to stay here, but I’ve been cooped up in this place all day. Can we go somewhere else?”

He grins, “I was kind of hoping you’d say something like that. There’s this park not far from here. It’s nice. We can go there if you want.”

“Sure.”

We spend the short walk to the park talking. Lucas confirms a few of my suspicions, but a few more things are revealed. His internship at Flare is part of his fashion design course at Sycamore Arts College. I tell him that I always wanted to go there, but that my parents could never afford it. His eyes light up when he starts telling me how amazing it is there, but he stops himself, saying that it’s probably not what I want to hear. Before I can correct him, we arrive at the park.

“Should we, uh, find somewhere to sit?” he asks.

“How about over there?” I say, pointing to a stone table and chairs.

“Sure.”

We sit down and he opens his briefcase. My jaw drops a little as a veritable gold mine of art supplies is revealed.

“I stole most of this from work,” he admits, pulling out a sketchbook. “Hope they don’t mind. You’ve… well, you’ve done a lovely job with your makeup, by the way.”

A tiny blush creeps into my cheeks, “I didn’t think you’d notice.”

“I’m an artist,” he replies, gesturing towards his eyes. “I’m good at picking out the little details. Like your eyes, they’re this - wait, what am I saying?”

I giggle, “You’re a dork.”

Lucas shrugs, grabs a few pencils, and opens his sketchbook to a blank page. We spend what feels like ages just… drawing. He starts off by teaching me things, but he realises fairly quickly that I know my stuff. After a quick, slightly nervous quip about how I’m a terrible liar, he abandons the teaching and just lets me draw. We draw plants and animals and humans and clothes, completely absorbed in our art, only occasionally looking up to compare drawings and enthuse about how good of a time we’re both having.

Friendships are weird. Sometimes they take ages to form, with little things happening again and again, but sometimes one big thing happens and you just click with a person. As the sun starts to sink in the sky, the thought crosses my mind that I have well and truly clicked with Lucas. Suddenly, he looks at his watch and snaps his sketchbook shut.

“I hate to interrupt,” he says, hastily shoving his stuff back into his briefcase, “but I was, uh, my brother - he’s picking me up from work at five, and that’s in ten minutes and we should probably go.”

“Alright,” I reply, packing up my stuff. “This was a lot of fun.”

‘Yeah, I thought so too.”

We arrive back at the building just as a red sports car pulls up to the curb. A young man with a resemblance to Lucas rolls down the window.

“Hey, bro!” he says, looking at Lucas before getting out of the car.

His brother. That makes sense.

“Hey, Xavier,” replies Lucas.

“Yo, who’s the lady?” Xavier asks, throwing an arm around his brother and pointing at me.

“Xavier, this is… this is Calima. Calima, this is Xavier. He’s my brother.”

“Well hello, Calima,” says Xavier, shaking my hand before turning to Lucas and muttering, “Dude, get in the car. We gotta talk about this.”

“Alright,” Lucas grumbles, moving around to the passenger side of the car. “Bye, Calima!”

“See you!”

I stand on the sidewalk like an idiot, watching as Lucas and Xavier bicker in hushed tones. Before I can leave, Xavier sticks his hand through the open window, offering me a scrap of paper. I take it and unfold it.

Is this for real?

“You know, you should really give my dumbass brother a call sometime,” he remarks, ignoring Lucas as he rapidly turns red. “I think he’d appreciate it.”

[satelliteofmstielove]

K16 City on Fire

                                                    Roasted turkey

General notes

         …So. Hey. Remember when I used to make these, like, a long time ago? It’s been over a year since I worked on the guide, for various reasons involving school and reboot junk and other stuff, but mostly school and reboot junk. I won’t go into details because who cares. Let’s just move on and watch an episode of MST3K.

          This episode features a little more fan club talk, and not much else worth noting here. Let’s get to the watching. Guess who finally learned how to embed hyperlinks? Onward!

PS note: This movie contains quite a bit of unpleasant imagery, including a lot of people getting burnt throughout, a couple of distressed/dead animals, and a short surgery scene which begins about 1:17:30. Just thought I’d note it here for people who’d want to be warned.

Prologue

The Mads get a letter from the Mad Scientists League, an organization that will crop up in one form or another in various episodes down the line, such as Mitchell [512] and Girl in Gold Boots [1002]. Sometimes it’s called something different, but the idea is the same. Here, as in later mentions, they’re not really sure if the Mads’ brand of evil is really mad or scientific enough to qualify as mad science.

The official unofficial episode guide on Satellite News says that the comment Larry makes about Ken Keller has something do with a local university president, I think. I read it a long time ago and don’t really remember. I tried to go back and verify, but uh, I can’t get www.mst3kinfo.com to work for me. Is that just me or are other people having that problem? Did something happen to it that I haven’t heard about? (I haven’t been very active in the fandom for, like, more than a year, so I’m a little out of the loop about a lot of stuff.)

What kind of job do you think Larry had at the Pentagon? Do you think the “worked for two weeks, paid for two years” thing was actually part of the gig, or something he engineered for himself? Questions for the ages.

Apparently now the Mads get all of their research money from the MSL. I wonder what happened to all the money Clay won in Vegas a few episodes back. Guess they blew it all on who-knows-what already, which would not be surprising. Is Gizmonics as a whole funded by the MSL? In a previous episode, it sounded like the Mads had to meet some kind of standard for Gizmonics in order to work there, so maybe that’s related to the…look, I know it doesn’t matter, and the guys didn’t think any of this through when they made it up. They just threw it together 45 minutes before they taped the episode, not worrying how it fit together in the world. Which is totally fine. I just like to see if I can make it make sense, despite that. Coherence is not required in the MST universe, but it’s kind of amusing when you find it. At least to me.

Sounds like Larry’s already kinda bored with the “worst movie ever” experiment. I think Joel and the bots might be on the same page.

Uh, is Gizmonics not considered the private sector? Do they have government funding? If so, how the heck do they swing that? I realize the pork goes pretty far in this country, but thinly-veiled mad science seems like it would be pushing even that. They must have some kind of in with a senator or something. Maybe one is a Gizmonics alumni- politics would be a nice place to continue practicing evil.

Fruit inspection is apparently their only other option for a job. Ouch.

Clay, at least, seems to think the MSL doesn’t consider them mad enough because their experiment is too cutesy. I wonder if that’s what it said in the report. Personally, I wouldn’t really consider their movie selection cute, but I guess in comparison to the truly grade Z garbage that would come later, like Manos or Red Zone Cuba, I can see what they mean.

Huh, it heads straight into the movie without showing the S.O.L. first, without even the doorway sequence. I don’t think that’s happened before.

Movie pt. 1

Am I crazy, or do the theater seats look extra tiny and crowded together this time?

I like Servo’s wrestling-announcer-style reading of the title card at 3:58.

At 6:02- I can’t be the only one who automatically responds “McCloud.”

Crow sounds concerned about the smoothie (or whatever that’s supposed to be) at 6:30. He also mentions the many camera edits. Why does that scene have so many of those?

Josh interrupts Joel again at 6:56. I haven’t been keeping a count, but that’s gotta be at least 6 or 7 times over the course of the series.

At 14: 39, TV23 shows the time and temperature. Is that 6:15 AM or PM? Based on the 32° temperature, I’d guess morning, assuming this aired in March or April.

A transcript of the French that begins at 15:23, at least as well as my two years of high school French can tell: “Monsieur Pierre. Pas maintenant. Non, uh, après le mois demain à trois heures. Non, something something. Something bien something? Au revoir.”, which translates to “Mr. Pierre. Not now. No, uh, after the month, tomorrow at 3 o’clock. No, something something. Something good something? Goodbye.” You guys probably understood most of that without help, but still, there it is. (The après le mois could have actually been rapidement, meaning quickly, but I thought the former made slightly more sense in context. Or not. I don’t know, really.)

At 17:46, Tom mentions nude Shelley Winters photos in Joel’s room, and Joel shushes him. Sounds like maybe he has something to hide.

Joel and the bots keep predicting that maintenance guy will turn out to be a psycho. I can’t remember if they were reviewing part of the movies before using them by this point in the show’s run or not. They might have seen farther into the movie previously and know what’s going to happen. Let’s watch.

Man, it’s like 20 minutes into the movie and they’re still introducing whole new swaths of characters. Were people supposed to take notes while watching? Also, seriously? The city on fire is on fire because some dumb kids threw a cigarette? That’s…kinda disappointing. I was sort of hoping for gigantic explosion, and I’m not even usually a gigantic explosion kind of person.

Crow’s distressed about Mickey Mouse burning to death at 20:54.

Crow comment at 21:07 about same movies kinda sums up my feelings, as well.

The boys do a classic Lassie type sketch at 22:00.

There’s another interruption problem at 22:43, this time with Joel interrupting Josh. Afterwards, he asks Josh what he was going to say, and then says he was glad he interrupted him once he hears the riff. Burn. Crow/Trace even comments on it.

Uh, the boy in the striped shirt, Gerald or whatever his name is…to quote the Star Wars: Episode 1 RiffTrax, is it okay to say this kid sucks?

Crow thinks the movie is getting too scary as they leave the theater. He used to be quite a bit more sensitive early on, didn’t he? He still had his moments later in the series, though, like in Being from Another Planet [405] when he’s afraid of the basement.

Host Segment 1

The bots are doing something potentially suspicious with a telescope as we enter the bridge.

Joel brings up their supplies, saying somebody’s been overusing the oil. I don’t want to point fingers, but I’d guess it was Tom, seems like something he’d do. Then again, Crow has said in the past that WD-40 was his favorite lubricant, so maybe…

The bots aren’t listening to him, though- they’re trying to get their prank going. It’s surprising that Joel still falls for some of these by now, but I guess he’s not known for being really aware of his surroundings.

Servo was definitely the less innocent one if the first couple of seasons of the show. Crow had moments but Tom made his babe obsession a part of his personality.

Joel not only falls for the telescope eye ring prank, he rubs his eye all over it to be sure it gets on there really well. I’m sure they had to do that for the episode to make sure you could see it on camera, but it makes Joel look like he doesn’t know how to use a telescope. Maybe it’s just a weird telescope.

One thing I always liked about the bots- especially in the first few seasons but really throughout the show’s run- is how they don’t know so many basic things but still know details about, for instance, 1960s ad campaigns for cigarettes. It gives the impression that they have random parts of encyclopedias in their memory banks, which is probably true. I always felt like Joel probably dumped as much info as he could think of into the bots when he built them, but he couldn’t think of everything important at once, so they’ve got big holes in their knowledge base. For the purpose Joel built them for, it makes sense and works pretty well.

Poor Joel. He’s not the butt of the joke that often, at least not without getting back in some way.

Movie pt. 2

Crow’s confused at first by Joel’s comment about cattiness at 32:39.

At 37:55, Joel starts talking about seeing Orville Redenbacher get into a fistfight with his nephew at a party. I have no idea if this is true (though I doubt it) but maybe that eventually became the inspiration for the Orville Popcorn sketch in Godzilla vs. Megalon [212]. Odd how a weird little idea like that could stick around for so long.

Hm, I guess I did get my gigantic explosion after all. But somehow it still doesn’t fill the gaps in my heart…Actually that was really horrific. Geez.

Not important, but does anyone else think the psycho guy looks kinda like Peter Davison?

Joel laugh at 44:47, and a pretty enthusiastic one.

Huh, that movie section was unusually short.

Host Segment 2

Joel’s got an invention, which may have been inspired by the movie- Hell in a Handbag. This one, like many KTMA era inventions, will be reused in Season 1, in The Mad Monster [103].

Servo is not impressed by Crow’s flirting techniques with pretending-to-be-a-woman Joel and demonstrates his own. What is it with him and mangoes?

Joel got really into his part there for a second. Maybe he should have been in drag more often on the show, since, like, everyone else was. Actually maybe that was just all Mike.

Why would Joel program a thug algorithm into the bots? When did he ever think he’d need that? Maybe that explains what happens at the pinball machine in The Girl in Lovers Lane [509]. Also, I like how they can apparently just rummage through their own programming and find old stuff. Cool.

Joel seems to find the bots’ thug mode pretty funny. Maybe that’s why he programmed it into them.

Crow’s scared of the Hell-in-a-Handbag. Poor baby hahah. The way Joel grabs his neck affectionately afterwards is really cute, though. Joel says it was all in retaliation for the telescope prank earlier, but Servo didn’t seem phased, so really only Crow got punished. Crow’s also the only one who apologizes. Crow is always cute, but he’s extra cute in these old episodes. I just really love Crow, you guys.

Movie pt. 3

It’s called the Manson Refinery? That’s fitting, I suppose, with all the people it’s killed.

Crow falls right over backwards at 53:58. He and then Servo say they feel woozy. Understandable given the content of the scene. Ugh. But in reality, Trace was probably having trouble with the puppet. He has said in interviews that the KTMA Crow handled “like a T-square.”

At 56:18, Tom calls someone onscreen a “boinkus”? Doinkus, maybe?

Geez, nobody in this entire city has heard of stop, drop, and roll.

Host Segment 3

Joel and the bots do a little march/call and response thing. They’re having a little bit of trouble staying on beat, though (and on pitch). I like the song, though.

Joel’s jumpsuit is pretty fitted in the butt area. Just in case, you know, you were interested in knowing that.

They run down the hall with Cambot at Movie Sign. I’ve already forgotten if they’ve done that before in KTMA (that’s what happens when you go a year without working on your episode guide). They did it once or twice in the show proper, though not with the bots.

Movie pt. 4

Wow, seriously? First all the burning people, now surgery close-ups? How much pointlessly gross stuff is this movie going to include?

Also, dead bird shot, just to be sure everyone is sad. Why didn’t that kid just let the bird OUT OF THE CAGE? It can fly! That would at least give it a better chance.

And now the psycho’s comeuppance is getting anti-climatically crushed by a falling fire escape, and Shelley Winters dies too for no good reason? I haven’t even had anything to say about the riffers during this segment because stupid crap keeps happening in this movie.

Tom comments on how they killed off Shelley Winters in a stupid way, but the doctor guy somehow survives all the fire. I agree. This movie is stupid.

That’s the ending? THAT’S THE ENDING? Sappy music and romance and whatever, the city was on fire but hey it got put out (OFFSCREEN) so it’s all fine? Who cares about the thousands of victims and the millions in property damage? Not us, we’re kissing! Wow. Thanks for that, movie.

Crow gets excited about the name “McCrow” in the end credits at 1:37:22.

At 1:38:00, Servo begs to leave. At first Crow says they need to stay for the credits, but then agrees that they should go.

Servo also says goodbye to the audience as he leaves the theater.

Conclusion

Gypsy’s on deck for this segment, and Joel asks her where she’s been. Apparently “bumping into newsletters”. I wonder if she’s the one who printed them off.

Looks like back then you got a certificate for joining the fan club. I wonder if anyone out there still has theirs. Probably at least a few do.

I like Gypsy’s “ooh, aah” at the fan club membership card.

Crow tells the fans to keep more drawings coming. I guess he likes those.

Mr. Crow of Beverly Hills is still credited with the hair designs for the show.

Thoughts on the Movie

          A more accurate name for this movie would be Oil Refinery and Area Around a Hospital on Fire, since most of the city is never actually on fire. Not that I’d want to see it, but with a title like City on Fire you kind of expect to see a whole city on fire. All I’m saying is our expectations were mismanaged. Also, what was the point of burning the house earlier in the movie? Just to give us a fake-out? “Hah, you thought the fire was going to be earlier in the movie but instead, it was later in the movie!” You really got us there, guys.

          But jokes asides, this film mostly disgusted me. Does anyone want to watch long sequences of people getting burned alive? Do they like watching people endure terror and pain? It could be the filmmakers were just trying to underscore the dire situation, but it seems more like a sick fascination with showing suffering and death. I guess that’s common in movies and TV, in various forms, but it doesn’t make any sense to me. I talked about this a little in the entry for SST: Death Flight [K13], but it applies here again- pointless destruction of things and lives just doesn’t make good entertainment for me. Maybe a good disaster movie is about people overcoming and surviving in the face of horrible circumstances outside of their control. Certainly that’s not the case here. This movie becomes more a parade of lurid and gruesome imagery than anything else. No thank you. I guess maybe that’s why it wasn’t successful, hm.

          On a lighter note of criticism, did every friggin’ TV movie in the ‘70s have to be about 800 different people? Seriously, that’s SST: Death Flight, Superdome, San Francisco International, this movie- ok, I guess Stranded in Space wasn’t. Or Code Name Diamond Head. Or Mitchell. But those are sci-fi, spy, and cop movies, respectively, while the others are disaster/action/um, airport genre. Whatever. Point is, you do not need 437 different protagonists. Stop putting in 437 different protagonists.

          There’s not much else to say about this movie, I guess. The plot starts out confusing but converges and becomes somewhat less so as it goes along (though that's partially because several plot threads just drop off the map). Most of the acting is decent, some of the characters actually seem kind of interesting. Not every part of it sucks. Unfortunately, any of that mildly good stuff is buried in a pile of rubble and burnt bodies.

Review

          Despite my distaste for the movie, this was a funny episode. I laughed out loud many times and had a hard time picking a favorite riff (though I did pick one- Crow: That’ll wake the dog up.) The guys are really starting to get good at this. Even with the slower pace of the improv riffing, it doesn’t really feel empty like some of the older eps do. That may have something to do with a more action-filled movie, too, but the jokes are definitely improving. While the movie is not as watchable, funny-wise I’d call this as good an episode as SST: Death Flight, which I previously called the best KTMA ep. Nice job, guys.